The Mindset Mentor - Unlocking Your Potential: How To Grow Yourself & Empower Others

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, do me a favor real quick. Go ahead and give us a rating and review. However you listen to us, the more positive rating reviews that we get, the more that those platforms actually show this organically to people who have never heard of it before. It allows this podcast to grow. So if you would do that, I would greatly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Today, we're going to be talking about how to unlock your own potential.

Starting point is 00:00:36 And then in doing so, how do you also help other people around you grow, flourish, become who they could possibly be as well. And to start, I'm going to give you one of my favorite analogies for life. And I was planting something the other day, like we have one of those little things that grow inside of the house, lettuce grow, I think is what it's called. And I was looking at a seed and I was looking at a seed for strawberries. And I was thinking to myself, it was crazy because it's this little teeny tiny seed and this little teeny tiny seed has the potential to grow into a plant that has strawberries that will feed me, that will feed

Starting point is 00:01:18 my family. And I thought to myself, it's this little teeny tiny seed. Like, have you ever actually stopped to think about how amazing a seed is? Or if you see a seed for a tree and these like huge tree, it has the potential to become a hundred foot tree. And it's a little teeny tiny seed, like a millimeter wide sometimes. And you start to think about this and you start to think about all of the potential that's inside of this seed could create a beautiful plant. Like let's take, for instance, a flower, right? What's your favorite flower? Sunflower seed. Okay. You know what a sunflower seed is. It's a little bit bigger, right? So you

Starting point is 00:01:53 look at a sunflower seed and inside of that sunflower seed, this black and white and gray sunflower seed has the potential to grow an eight foot sunflower. Beautiful green. It's yellow. It's amazing, right? And you think of this and I want you to think of that sunflower and I want you to think of a gardener for that sunflower. When you look at a gardener's job, what is a gardener's job when he is growing that sunflower? His job is to allow the seed to become what it's supposed to be, right? To give it space, make sure it has enough space to nurture it, to water it, to make sure that it has enough sun, to create a space for it to bloom to its highest capacity, to give it the air that it needs,

Starting point is 00:02:40 to make sure it's in the right location where he plants it. His job is basically to help that flower become what it is able to become, right? To nurture it. Now, what happens if the flower doesn't get all that? If it doesn't get the water that it needs, if it doesn't get the sun amount that it needs, if it doesn't get the air that it needs, if he were to take it and put it in a pot instead of putting it outside in the sun, he puts it inside of the shed. What happens to that flower if it doesn't get all of that? The flower does not grow to its full potential. We can all agree on this, right?

Starting point is 00:03:15 What happens if the gardener decides to take a mason jar as it starts to finally come through the soil? He puts a mason jar, flips it upside down, and puts a mason jar on top of it. What's going to happen? It's going to restrict its growth. It's not going to get the sun it needs. It's not going to have the space that it needs. It's going to restrict its growth. It might have a weak flower. It might kill its leaves off. It might actually even kill the flower. So his job as a gardener is to nurture it. Nothing else. Not to change it, not to restrict it, but to nurture it. Now, I want you to think about this, and I want you to think about how that relates to all of

Starting point is 00:03:50 your relationships. First, we're going to talk about other people in your life, and we're going to talk about your relationship to other people and how other people affect you. And then we're going to talk about how you affect other people in your life as well. In your relationships, and you start to think about everyone that's around you, and you start to think about all of the relationships that you have. In your relationships, let's say, you know, let's talk about you and others life actually first. Let's do that. Let's talk about you and others life, and then we'll talk about you. In other people's life, if you're the gardener, how are you showing up? Are you nurturing? Are you watering and helping those people grow?

Starting point is 00:04:27 Are you giving them the light, the affirmation that they need? Are you helping other people around you bloom? Your job in a relationship is to help other people grow. It's not for what you want them to be, not to have them grow into what you want, but what they were here to become. You know, I always hear from a lot of people, I'm in the self-development industry, right? And so one of the things that I hear from people is people will discover self-development. They're married, they've been married for three or four years, 10 years, whatever it might be. The wife, she'll discover personal development and then

Starting point is 00:04:56 she'll start reading and she comes up to me and she's like, hey, so here's the deal. I've been reading for a few years. I've been on this personal development kick, and I've been trying to get my husband to read. I've been trying to get my husband to work out with me. I've been trying to get my husband to go to conferences with me. And what happens is she's like, how do I, and I always hear this question, how do I change him? How do I make him get into these things?

Starting point is 00:05:19 And really what it comes down to is, is they're trying to change him into what they want them to be. I hear this from men. I hear this from women. I hear it from both. But really what it comes down to is, are you trying to mold them into what you want them to be? If it's not personal development, is it something else? Are you trying to mold them? If they're very outgoing, are you trying to say, hey, don't be so loud? Like what you want? Oh, I'm triggered by you being so loud. Can you be a little bit quieter? Oh, you're too outgoing. Oh, you always make so many crude jokes, whatever it might be.

Starting point is 00:05:48 Are you trying to mold them into what you want them to be? Or are you allowing them to become who they were put here to become? Are you trying to change them? Or are you trying to help them grow? How are you showing up for them? Think about that for a second. For me, with my wife, we've been together for nine and a half years now but the first four years of us dating she wasn't in a personal love at all like at all I bought her books I tried to get her to go to conferences she didn't read one damn book

Starting point is 00:06:14 and then one day she just decided she was going to do it and so there was a little bit of me trying to force it and I was like you know what if this isn't her thing this isn't her thing this is definitely my thing and then eventually she just caught onto it. But what happened was once I kind of gave up and tried to stop changing her is when she actually kind of became more open to it. And so when you start to think about that, you could ask yourself, are you trying to change them or are you trying to be the lighthouse? Are you trying to be the example instead of forcing them to read a book, instead of forcing them to work out, instead of forcing them to go to conferences? Why don't you be the person that is the example of how those things actually changed you?

Starting point is 00:06:47 So that maybe one day they go, whatever she's got, I want that. What's going on? What have you been doing? And they start asking you questions. Same way that if you see a friend you haven't seen in a while and they've lost 40 pounds, the first thing you're going to ask them is what, what have you been doing? Right? You want to know what other people are doing to get happier, to get healthier, to become more successful. Hey, are you a coach, consultant, or expert in your field, but you struggle with how to market and sell your services effectively? Well, you may not know this, but along with this podcast, I also own a company called the School for Online Coaches. And since 2019, myself and my team have trained and supported over 1400 coaches in starting and growing their

Starting point is 00:07:25 coaching businesses online. This is where I teach everything that you need to know to start and grow your own coaching business to $10,000 a month in as little as 30 to 60 days. So if you're dying to see what it's like to be your own boss, work remotely and create a business that helps people change their lives and feels fulfilling to you, head over to schoolforonlinecoaches.com right now. That's where you can learn more information about how to grow your business. Once again, it is schoolforonlinecoaches.com. And so how are you showing up for your significant other? What about your children? Are you restricting their growth? Are you trying to make your fucking children become who you want

Starting point is 00:08:03 them to be? Do you have any parents do that? Oh, you should go. You have to go to the school, this school, and you have to go. You have to go for this degree. And you try to force them into becoming what you want them to become versus trying to help them grow and nurture them into what they are destined to be. Are you restricting their growth? If they're showing interest in something, are you trying to get them to be interested?

Starting point is 00:08:23 If your son wants to play the cello, are you trying to make him play football? Are they showing an interest? Are you trying to help them deepen that interest? Are you trying to restrict that interest? Are you trying to change that interest into the interest that you want so that you can have them be what you want them to be? Are you trying to make your children become what you want them to be? Or are you trying to ask them questions?

Starting point is 00:08:44 What they like, what they're interested in, what they want to become,? Or are you trying to ask them questions? What they like, what they're interested in, what they want to become, and seeing how you can nurture and foster that for them to actually help them grow. You know, I remember a friend of mine's grandpa, I've told the story a couple times in the podcast, but he was a friend of mine. They were searching through the attic, I think, I don't remember what it was. They were searching through the attic and they found these beautiful paintings. My friend found these beautiful paintings. Him and his sister found it, right? They're like, man, these paintings are amazing. Where'd they come from? They take them down to their grandpa and they say, who painted these? And their grandfather was like, I painted them when I was younger. And they're like, what? You

Starting point is 00:09:21 painted these when you were younger? Like, these are amazing. I never even knew you liked painting. And, you know, this guy's from old, old, and, you know, there's, I think there's probably like the 30s, 40s that this happened. He was painting it and his father was completely against it. And he was like, he was like, no, only sissies paint. You're not a sissy. You're a man. Men don't paint. And he never let him paint. And he just changed. His grandfather just completely changed himself. He never painted again, never painted again. And then they found these paintings.

Starting point is 00:09:57 They brought him down. They're like, grandpa, these are amazing. These are beautiful. Did you love painting? He's like, yeah, I love painting. It was what made me feel alive. So they went and got him painting supplies and they had him start painting again. And they said it was, it was, he started back up and it was like something came alive inside of him. And it's a perfect example. Like that is a perfect example of a parent restricting something that makes their child feel alive. How many people out there do that? How many people listening have done that with their children? How are you fostering people's growth and helping them become what they want to become? Instead of bending the flower to go the way that you want it to be, why don't you try to help the

Starting point is 00:10:34 flower grow to what it's supposed to be? Yeah, I never want to do that to someone that I love. But how many of us are doing that in little teeny tiny ways with people that we love? These little teeny tiny restrictions. It's not always like, no, you can't do that. But it might be like saying this little, you know, this little negative comment here, this little negative joke here and all that stuff. And it's these little teeny tiny restrictions. It's like death by a thousand cuts, right? Your job with those around you is to nurture them and to help them become what they can become. So that's the first thing, how you relate to other people. Now let's talk about you. How are the people around you and that you surround yourself with? Are they nurturing? Are they supportive? When you pick up a new hobby, what do they say?

Starting point is 00:11:17 When you go for a big goal, how do they react? When you succeed, how do they respond? Are they allowing you to bloom into who you're supposed to be, or are they trying to change you into who they want you to be? If the flower doesn't grow, you don't change the flower. What do you do? You change the environment. If you've been stuck for a while, maybe you should look around you and see what the environment looks like. Is your environment conducive for growth? The same way that if you have the sunflower and you have it inside of a pot, it's more conducive to be outside to get the sun, to get the water, to get the air than it is to take that sunflower seed and to put it inside, you know, inside of the pot and then take that pot and put it inside of the shed. You don't change the flower if it doesn't grow.

Starting point is 00:12:05 You change the environment. If you've been stuck for a while, when was the last time you assessed the environment that you have, the people that you surround yourself with? Maybe the problem with your growth or lack of growth isn't fully you. If you know, I like for you to take as much responsibility in your life, to not play the victim, all of that. But at some point, you have to realize that there are different environments that are conducive for your growth and ones that will hold you back in your trying to grow. Can you grow through all environments? Of course you can. Is it easier to grow in some than others? Yeah. Why don't we try to make it easier on ourselves? Maybe it is your environment.

Starting point is 00:12:50 Maybe it's your gardeners. So then you start to look at the people around you and you start to ask yourself, who is on your side 100%? Like when you say, hey, this is a goal that I want to shoot for. Who is your friend that is like, fuck yes, you can do it. How can I support you? Those are the people that you want to spend more time with. Who is on your side 100%? And then who's not? You should start seeing if you have only a certain amount of energy you can invest into every single day, you should probably start changing the amount of energy that you're investing to this relationship and this relationship. If someone's restricting you or they're holding you back, maybe it's time to spend less time with them. Maybe it's time to let them go. One of the things that I see that really holds a lot of people back is long-term relationships. Just because you've been friends with somebody for a really long time,

Starting point is 00:13:34 shit, even if somebody is in your family and they've been in your family your entire life, it doesn't necessarily mean that those relationships, because a lot of relationships that I've heard of people that kind of stick around, they go toxic and they've been toxic for years. And just because someone's been around for a while, they just keep them around, right? Sometimes it's the right time to let someone go and you let them go so you can grow. And so then they can grow into whatever they're going to be as well. You can still love them from afar. You can still see them every once in a while, but if you're seeing them four times a week, can you see them once a month? Imagine if you have this person that's restricting you, trying to change you, negative, all that stuff, and you see them four times a week.

Starting point is 00:14:10 Imagine how much better, how much better your environment, your internal environment and your external environment would be if you only saw them once a month. So how can you get more gardeners in your corner? People that love you, people that support you, people that want the best for you. I believe that we all have some sort of purpose in this world. Some of us are here to be amazing parents. Some of us are here to be healers. Some of us are here to be really great teachers. Some of us are here to be artists and create amazing art. Some of us are here to light the way and to lead the way and to be leaders. I want you to start to think about the people that are around you, what it is that you actually want in your life. And number two, the people that are around you and if they help you or hurt you in trying

Starting point is 00:14:53 to get you there. Right? Now, I want you to think of two things. Number one, really start to think about this. How am I showing up? How are you showing up for the people that you love as a gardener? Right? Are you showing up for them? that you love as a gardener, right? Are you showing up for them? Are you supporting them? Are you trying to see how you can help them grow? Are you motivating them?

Starting point is 00:15:11 Are you trying to hold them accountable when they say they have big goals? Trying to see how you can help, see if you can be there for them whenever they need someone, a shoulder to cry on. Are you that? Or are you just out here just freaking stomping on flowers because you're trying to change every person the way you want them to be? So that's the first thing to think of. And the second thing is, what does your environment look like? Are you outside in the sun with the right amount of air, the right amount of sun, the right amount of water and all of that? Or are you in a shed trying to grow an amazing sunflower inside of a shed?

Starting point is 00:15:42 So what does your environment look like? And start to think about that and ask yourself, what do you need So what does your environment look like? And start to think about that and ask yourself, what do you need to change about your environment? And just like any seed, we're all filled with amazing amounts of potential. Our job is to try to live up to that potential here and to be there for other people and to allow them to grow into flower that they can be as well. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on Instagram stories and tag me at Rob Dial Jr. Also, once again, if you haven't heard, my book is now out.

Starting point is 00:16:09 I put my life and soul into this book. You can get it on presale right now. Presale helps a lot in the book and helps us get onto the bestseller list. So if you go to robdial.com book, you can go there and we've got some exciting stuff that you get for the pre-sale as well. So go ahead and go to robdial.com slash book, order it, order one copy, order two copies, whatever it is that you want. I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. And with that, I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode, making it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Unlocking Your Potential: How To Grow Yourself & Empower Others

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