The Mindset Mentor - Unraveling Your Money Mindset: Scarcity vs Abundance

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, you'll absolutely love my book that just came out last week. It is on the psychology of taking action and creating the life that you want. It is called Level Up, How to Get Focused, Stop Procrastinating and Upgrade Your Life. If you're looking for the manual to understand your mindset, to go out, stop self-sabotaging, get past your limiting beliefs and create the life that you want, go ahead and buy Level Up wherever books are available. Today, we're going to be talking about your money mindset. We're going

Starting point is 00:00:45 to talk about the difference between a scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset. But I want to ask you a question before we dive into it. What is your belief around money? What do you believe? Because money, when we start to think about money itself, although it's just a thing that exists in our society, like bananas exist in our society, but we don't really have a whole lot of emotion around. Well, most of us probably don't have much emotion around bananas, but we have a lot of emotion. Lots of people do around money. It's a word that really stirs up a lot of feelings inside of us. For some people, it can be a source of stress. It can be a source of anxiety. It can be a source of jealousy or envy. For other people, it can be a source of stress. It can be a source of anxiety. It can be a source of jealousy

Starting point is 00:01:27 or envy. For other people, it can be a symbol of success to buy cool things. For other people, it could be a symbol of freedom. And we all have different thoughts, different feelings, different beliefs around money. But no matter how you feel around it, it plays a really big role in your life. You can't really get away from money. Like you could get away from bananas and never eat a banana the rest of your life. But if you want to live in society, you're not going to be able to get away from money. The only way you could really get away from money is if you want to disappear and live in a forest and hunt animals and live under trees for the rest of your life, which

Starting point is 00:02:03 sounds awesome. You could definitely do that if you want to. But if you want to live in society with other people, you're going to have to have some sort of relationship around money. And the way we think about money really tells us a lot about ourselves. The same way that we have a story around the relationship that we have around money, we also have a story around relationships and other people in our lives. And so really it comes down to unraveling what our story is and what our beliefs are as well. And money tends to mess a lot of people up.

Starting point is 00:02:33 For me, it messed me up for a very long time. I was driving yesterday and I was actually thinking about how crazy it is that money dominated so many of my thoughts for the first 32 years of my life. Like it was, although I want to be happy, I wanted to do cool stuff. I wanted to travel. Money was like the main thing I feel like dominated my thoughts for the majority of my life. And it's kind of wild because bananas didn't dominate my thoughts, but money did. But money is just a thing that exists. It's just something that has no value that we give value to. And we didn't have, when I was a kid, we didn't have money when I was growing up. I've said it a few times in the podcast, but

Starting point is 00:03:18 when my parents got divorced because of the fact that my father's an alcoholic, my mom had to work a lot and we didn't really have much money. And at one point in time, my mom applied for food stamps and we were rejected from food stamps because my mom had a car and we didn't really take family vacations. You know, I had never been skiing until I was in my thirties because that should cost a lot of money. Luckily enough, I lived in Florida, so I was able to go to the beach and that type of stuff. But the only real family vacations that I went on was when my uncle Dan and some other family members would bring me along with them and pay for everything. And money is really interesting when you take yourself out of it. Like when you take your own story and take yourself out of it, it's interesting because it dominates our thoughts a lot of times.

Starting point is 00:04:03 Like one of the main reasons why people get divorced is because fights about money. They don't get divorces over fights around bananas. But once again, the reason why I keep using bananas is because bananas are just a thing, right? Money is just a thing. But there's so much more energy and so much more story and so much more relationship and psychology around money than almost anything else that exists. And so many people build their entire lives around getting money. And it really, when you actually pull your own thoughts out of it, it doesn't actually make any sense.

Starting point is 00:04:35 Because once again, nobody builds their entire life around trying to acquire as many bananas as possible. And so the way that I see money is I see money like energy. To want more money is putting you in a place of lack, where you want more. To want more means you don't have enough now, means that you lack what it is that you want. And you never actually make money. You receive money. It's never actually your money. It's just money that is in your bank account that will eventually go into a company's bank account or another person's bank account. So you never actually make it. You never actually own it. You just kind of receive it and hold it

Starting point is 00:05:13 for a little while. But it's a lot like energy. And the thing about money, and I'll talk about in a minute, is money is a really good mirror for what's going on in your own head. It really is. And so if you have a scarcity mindset around money, I guarantee you have a scarcity mindset around almost everything else in your life. So it is a mirror for you for what's going on in your own head. If you are in the energy of lack, you will always lack because you're not open to receiving if you're always in lack. And so it's really a good thing to start to think about and unravel. If you get jealous of other people on Instagram because somebody else has the car that you want or they have the life that you want, they travel and you haven't left the country in

Starting point is 00:05:56 your entire life and you're jealous of them because they have something that you don't have, I guarantee that you're also jealous in many other areas of your life. It is a mirror. If you're jealous of somebody else's traveling and somebody else's shit that they have or their house or their car, if you're jealous of those things, you're also probably jealous of somebody else's body that they have. You're jealous that they're prettier than you are or they're more handsome than you are or that they're taller than you are. So it's a mirror to show you it's not just money. It's many other places in your life where it can show up. And really what it is, is money is a thing that exists

Starting point is 00:06:31 in our world, but all of us have a different story around money. And for most of us, it's a story that has a lot of energy and that energy usually comes from our past. And so I'm really curious for you to start to think as I'm talking to past. And so I'm really curious for you to start to think as I'm talking to you about this, what was money like for you as a kid? When you were a kid, obviously you didn't have a lot, but you were able to perceive other people. You were able to perceive, oh, you didn't have a lot of money, but your friend's parents did. And your friends seem to have a better life than you. So you were able to see that your parents didn't have as much money. Maybe you had a better life than you. So you were able to see that your parents didn't

Starting point is 00:07:05 have as much money. Maybe you had a normal life and you were just pretty okay. But then you have a friend who, oh man, remember when you turned like 16, 17 and one of your friends gets a BMW and you're like scrapping pennies and working at PetSmart like I was to be able to afford a 1997 Ford Explorer. And one of your friends is driving a BMW and they even have a job. And you're like, what the hell? We don't have any money. These people have so much money. What did you think about that? How did your parents talk about money to you? How'd they talk about money to each other? How'd they talk about money to other people? You know, is it something to want to go get? Is it something that is to be feared? What's the story that you have around it? What's the story? What are the beliefs that were ingrained into you around money? Is it that you must work your life away to get it?

Starting point is 00:07:52 I remember I had a client of mine years ago and his father made decent money, but his father owned a bagel business and he would be up in the morning and he would be up at like four o'clock in the morning. He would never see the kids, see him off to school. He would get home at like eight o'clock at night. He'd get like an hour with the kids and they have to go to bed and do it over and over and over again. And the guy that I'm speaking of developed this mindset of, oh, in order to make money means you have to absolutely be absent in your family's life. And so he equated money to being bad because you'd have to avoid your family because that's what he saw from his father. In reality, his father was doing the best that he could to provide for his family, I'm sure. But his son, who I knew, had developed this mindset of money is bad. And the reason why

Starting point is 00:08:35 money is bad is because it takes you away from your family. So is it something that you feel like you have to work your life away and slave away in order to make? You know, if you want to make a lot of money, will that take time away from your children? You know, there's a lot of people I know that are parents and they also have a business. And they think to themselves, well, I can either be a really good parent and spend time with my children, or I can be a successful business owner. And if you're saying something or something, that is a scarcity mindset. Who says, is it written into the fabric of the universe that you cannot be a really great parent and a really successful business owner? Is it written to the fabric of the universe? No. Is there probably

Starting point is 00:09:17 somebody out there that has ever grown a business very successfully and also been an incredibly present parent, I'm sure. But do you believe that that's possible? Because scarcity is or. Abundance is and. It means maybe, hey, right now, I haven't expanded myself to the capacity to be an incredible business owner and an incredible parent, but you can evolve yourself and expand yourself to be able to somebody who can hold both. And I already know that through this podcast, I'm already triggering some of you that are listening to me like, no, Rob, that's not true. That can't happen. I can't be a great parent and a great business owner. And then I go, well, why? Oh, well, because I saw my uncle when he was younger in this. And you start to realize that you just have a story. Would it make you a bad

Starting point is 00:10:02 parent to be a successful business owner? Ask yourself that question. What money lessons did you learn as a child? Did you learn, do you hear, oh, money doesn't grow on cheese. We don't have money. In order to make money, you have to screw other people over. Do you believe that having a lot of money is something that's bad? In order to have your success, that means you have to take away from someone else's success? That it's a zero-sum game? Either you win and someone else loses? Is that true? Or is it possible that everybody can win by you making money, by you being successful? Do you think that there is an opportunity where if you were to make a lot of money,

Starting point is 00:10:41 you could also do a lot of good in the world with that money? You probably could, right? So then I guess it doesn't mean that you have to screw people over and it's not the root of all evil. Are you a hoarder of your money? Do you pinch every penny and you don't share any of it and you watch it every single moment and you make sure you're pinching the pennies? Or are you the type of person that spends it all? Do you make quote unquote smart choices with your money? Do you make quote unquote dumb choices? Do you just come from poor parts of town and you'll never be rich? Oh, I come from a bad part of town. Everyone I know is poor. I'll never be successful. Is that true? Is that written into the fabric of the universe? Do you believe that if you ignore all of your money problems that they'll just magically go away?

Starting point is 00:11:28 Do you want to make money so you can show it off to other people? Do you want to use it to buy stuff to be recognized by others? Does money give you a sense of self-worth? If you had a nice car and someone pulls up next to you and they have a shitty car, does that make you feel like you're better than them? Do you believe that money will be something that changes your life or something that can make your life worse? Do you believe that if you make a lot of money, you'll be abandoned by those that you

Starting point is 00:11:52 love? I know one of my clients a few years ago, he came from a town, a really small town, and nobody in his family had ever made over $60,000. And he was afraid to make more than $60,000 because he literally thought there was a part of him that believed he would be abandoned by those that he loved because he would outgrow them. Do you think that people treat you differently if you make money? If you become successful? If you buy a nice house? If you travel more? What you really want to do is start to challenge your beliefs and see what comes from it.

Starting point is 00:12:20 Are your beliefs 100% true? Is it written into the fabric of the universe that in order to whatever, make a lot of money, you have to fuck somebody over at some point in time? Is that true? Is it true that you have to screw people over? Challenge that belief. Is it true that in order for you to win, someone else has to lose? Challenge that belief. Is it true that you cannot grow a successful business and be a great parent, challenge that belief. And what you'll notice is as you start to identify your story around money or psychology around money, you'll notice it's like a house of cards. It just needs one good flick and the entire thing comes falling down. And you realize that you've built your entire life around this story that

Starting point is 00:12:58 is not true, but you've been believing that it is true. When you challenge your belief systems, they're barely standing. When you challenge your your belief systems, they're barely standing. When you challenge your money belief systems, they're barely standing. But if you look at someone else's, if you think that, if you realize that you took someone else's opinion of what you heard them say to somebody else or what you heard them argue about or what they said to you when you were a child and you made it your belief as if it was written in the fabric of the universe, you realize it's crazy. And then you start to ask yourself, what is my energy around money? My favorite example that I always give that kind of puts a

Starting point is 00:13:34 metaphor that just kind of makes sense for people is, you know, if you have a child A and child B and child A, you give them a toy, a red toy truck. And he's like, oh, I don't even like trucks. I like cars and I don't like the color red. My favorite color is blue. This. All right, fine. I'll go play with this toy. He seems like an ungrateful little shit. And he goes and plays with a toy and he crashes into stuff. He throws it all over the place. Another little kid comes up. He's like, hey, can I play with your truck? And he's like, no, this is my truck. And then when he gets done playing and he goes to go outside and play, he just leaves his toys all over the place.

Starting point is 00:14:06 If that's child A and then child B, you give him a toy truck and he says, oh, I don't really like trucks, but I'll play with it. Thank you so much. I really like this. Thank you for this. And then he starts playing with it. He plays with it nicely and doesn't mess it up and crash it and all of that. And another kid comes up and say, hey, can I play with your truck?

Starting point is 00:14:22 And he says, yeah, here you go. You can play with my truck. And then when he gets done playing, he goes outside, he takes the truck and he puts it away nicely. Which child would you rather give the next toy to? Child A, the little shitty kid that doesn't share, that complains, and that doesn't put it away and take care of it? Or would you rather give it to child B who was grateful, who did share it and did take care of it? Which one would you rather give the toy to? Yeah, child B. Now, let me ask you a question. When you receive money, when you talk about money, are you more like child A? Are you more like child B? When you

Starting point is 00:14:54 get your paycheck, do you say, oh my gosh, it's still not enough. I'm worried about paying my bills. Damn it, I need to make more money. And someone says, hey, you know, there's a homeless person on the side of the road. And you think, no, I can't give them any money because I don't have enough money. And you don't pay attention to it, I can't give them any money because I don't have enough money. And you don't pay attention to it. You don't take care of it. You don't invest it. You don't spend it correctly. You just hoard it and you keep it in.

Starting point is 00:15:12 That's like being child A. Being child B is more like, okay, you're giving them money and it might not be as much as you want, but you're grateful for it at least. And you're appreciative of it. You say, thank you for it. Thank you, God, universe, whatever it is that's out there. Spirit, whatever you believe in, thank you for it. Thank you, God, universe, whatever it is that's out there, spirit, whatever you believe in, thank you for this. I will give a little bit more out of my paycheck to someone else that's in need. I will take care of it. I will watch it. I will be a great

Starting point is 00:15:34 steward for this money. If God or the universe or spirit has the opportunity to give somebody money, would they rather give it to the one who acts like child A or child B? Child B, probably, right? money, would they rather give it to the one who acts like child A or child B? Child B, probably, right? But which one do you normally act like? How do you normally react when you receive a paycheck? How do you react when you look in someone else's bank account? If you have a little bit of money, do you give a dollar to someone who's on the side of the road? So people always say, when I become a millionaire, then I'll start donating $100,000. No, you won't. You won't. become a millionaire, then I'll start donating $100,000. No, you won't. You won't. If you won't give $1 from 10, you won't give $100,000 from a million. You cannot be trusted with a lot if you cannot be trusted with a little. If you're walking down the street and there's a penny on the

Starting point is 00:16:17 side of the road, do you stop and pick it up and say, thank you for giving me this gift? Or are you just like, oh, that's not worth my time? Because if you can't be trusted with a little, you can't be trusted with a lot. You have to start asking yourself these questions, start seeing your story around money, your belief around money, and realize that money is just energy. It's just a mirror for what's going on in your head. It's not just a money story. It's a life story. If you have scarcity around money, if you have a mindset that's messed up around money, you have scarcity around everything else in your life. If you have jealousy around money, you have jealousy in all of the areas of your life. If you share with money, you're going to share in

Starting point is 00:16:49 other places in your life. If you have abundance, mindset around money, you're going to have abundance mindset in many other areas of your life. It is a mirror for what's going on in your head. It is a teacher. It is a lesson. If you have scarcity around everything around money, scarcity is living in all areas of your life. And so really what I want you to do, I don't want to give you any answers today. I want to just stir up some thoughts inside of your head. How do you think about money? What's your story around it? What's your belief? And I want you to challenge your thoughts around money because I was really stuck on it for years and years and years until I started challenging myself around it. And I realized that I was actually restricting myself from being more successful, from making more, from having more abundance. And that's what I want you to do.

Starting point is 00:17:30 Find the house of cards that your mindset is built around and see if you can give it a nice little flick and see if it all comes crumbling down. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. Also, if you have any episode requests, things that you want me to cover, send me a message. Send me a DM on Instagram. I check all of them. I don't always get a chance to respond to all of them. I do get a lot of messages, but I do have some message requests that come in and I'm like, hey, that's a really good idea. I should actually do a podcast episode around that. So send me a DM.

Starting point is 00:18:01 Maybe we get a chance to chat. Once again, Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And once again, with that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode, making sure mission makes somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Unraveling Your Money Mindset: Scarcity vs Abundance

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