The Mindset Mentor - What I Truly Think About What We're Currently Going Through

Episode Date: April 24, 2020

I was recently invited on the MindLove podcast to be interviewed about what I think about the Coronavirus and how it will permanently change mankind. This episode is much longer than normal but I know you will get a TON of value from it! Follow me on Instagram @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial, and if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. Today's going to be a little bit longer of an episode. I did a podcast with my friend Melissa, who runs the Mind Love Podcast, which I definitely recommend that you listen to. And the interview was so good, I asked her if I could actually share it on my podcast. We talk a lot of, I mean, tons of different things here. We talk about how the coronavirus is affecting you and also children and everyone else around, what we think is going to come from it. We talk about early childhood development. We talk about how to deal with grief. We talk

about your soul's development throughout your life. There's a lot of really deep things. I think you're absolutely going to love this podcast. And in this episode, I talk about your soul's development throughout your life. There's a lot of really deep things. I think you're absolutely going to love this podcast. And in this episode, I talk about things that I've never talked about on this podcast episode, so I wanted to bring it in. So I hope that you love it. I hope that you listen to the entire thing, and I hope that you share this with someone that you love as well. But without further ado, here's the interview on the Mind Love podcast.

Well, thank you for having me. I appreciate it. So first of all, I've been checking out your podcast and I love it. I feel like we also have a lot in common. We both go by mindset mentors rather than a coach, which I like. And some things in our past are pretty similar too. But I'll let you tell your story first because I know that a lot of people who are teaching growth and mindset were usually scratching their own itch first. So what is your story and how did you get into all this? So yeah, I basically had a decent childhood. It was okay. My parents got divorced when I was nine because my father was an alcoholic and I was never one of the kids who thought of it as my problem. When my parents got divorced,

I didn't think it was my fault. I was very well aware that it was his issue and his demons that he had in his past. So you have an idea of why he was an alcoholic. And I understood this at a very young age. And I think that's why it's gotten me to what I do now is when he was 12 years old, my dad heard a gunshot and walked into his parents' room. And he had seen that his dad had shot himself in the mouth with a shotgun. So then his entire life changed. I don't think my dad ever got past that. And I was very well aware of it as a child. And now they're starting to say, you know, the past couple years, research has come out and Gabor Monte talks about it, is that all addictions are connected to some form of trauma

that has not been resolved. I was somehow very well aware of that with my father. And I knew, okay, he's an alcoholic because he's got his issues. And when I was 15 years old, he passed away from being an alcoholic. I remember he died on November 1st, 2001 on my sister's birthday, which was November 24th. My mom, my sister, myself went out to Olive Garden and I was driving back. I was only 15 years old, so I had my permit. So I was driving the car. Every 15-year-old always wants to drive the car. And my mom asked the question, and we were at a stoplight. She said, so it's been 23 days since your dad died. How are you feeling? What do you feel about it?

I don't know where it came from. I don't know if I was just a wise kid or whatever it was. But I said, I think that if dad were to understand how much good is going to come from this, then he would be okay with dying. Since then, it's been my mission to figure out some sort of way to get some good out of my father's passing. I tried to, at 15 years old, speak at Alcoholics Anonymous so that the people who are in there could get a perspective of somebody who had a father who went through that. And they actually wouldn't let me in because you can't go into Alcoholics Anonymous unless you're an alcoholic. So I finished high school, went to college. At 19 years old, I found a company called Cutco Knives. We sold knives in people's houses. And it was my first time getting into personal development. And when I found it, I became obsessed. I hired my first one-on-one coach when I was 19 years old. I paid him 500

bucks a month, which was more than I paid in rent. It was like 500 bucks is like all of the money in the world to a 19-year-old. But I was like, I'm going to make this work. So I coached with him for two years. That on top of Cutco completely changed my life. I became obsessed with it. I trained a few thousand sales reps by the time I was 24 and just loved teaching people the stuff that helped me get over all of my demons. When I left Cutco because I got burnt out, I missed it. And so in 2015, I started a podcast called The Mindset Mentor, which is still running. We're about 750 episodes and it comes out three times a week. And I felt obligated. There was a point, my girlfriend and

I were literally in Jason's Deli, which is just a chain here in America. It got to a fever pitch in my mind of the universal slap. If you don't make a change now, something drastic is going to happen in your life. And that's what I always tell people. The universal speaks to you in whispers. And if you don't listen, you don't listen, you don't listen, it'll usually smack the crap out of you. And it could come with a car accident. It could come with the death of a loved one. It could come with losing your job. It could come with coronavirus. It could come with anything where it's just like the universal smack of like, wake the hell up. And I felt like I was getting really close to that. And we're in Jason's Deli and it seemed

like everybody was yelling at their kids and they were like, they look like zombies. Like, I don't know. I don't know if it was just me or if it was actually that way and they were overweight and they were yelling at their kids. Like I was saying, the energy in the room felt terrible. I told my girlfriend, I was like, hey, I think I'm going to start a podcast on teaching people the stuff that's really helped me in my life. I was a musician at the time, so I had all the recording equipment I needed. Started the podcast in 2015. Saw some pretty decent success.

It started taking off pretty quickly. I started growing a Facebook following and putting my messages on video because I realized... I remember seeing an article that said by 2021, 85% of the content consumed on the internet will be video. So I started making videos, viral videos on mindset, on life, and then it took off. So we did about 1.5 billion views, I think, at this point on Facebook. And there's about almost 2.2 million people that follow me on Facebook, a few hundred thousand people that follow me on Instagram. And it's just kind of grown exponentially in the past five years, but then really a ton in the past probably 18 months to two years.

So that's me in a nutshell. There's a lot in there. We could unpack a lot of stuff. It's so interesting when you are able to concisely wrap up your story and you can see how things led to another. But a lot of times when we're in it, it's difficult to see how everything's going to lay out. But it's interesting because, okay, so we have a lot in common. First of all, my dad was an alcoholic as well. My parents got a divorce. I never blamed myself either. Actually, they got a divorce when I was so young that it was just something I was used to. And I clearly of got to see that side, but his issues were still very clear to me. And his issues arose because his dad ended up committing suicide and killing his mom in the process. And my dad was the oldest of eight kids and he saw his dad being abusive. And he was not only abusing his mom, but also he started going down the line

of kids, starting with my dad since he was the oldest. And my dad would fight back and he actually became a championship wrestler, partially motivated just to be able to defend his family. And so when the abuse started going down the line of kids, that's when my grandma asked for a divorce and that's when things went sour. He couldn't handle that. And so I was just very clearly aware of my dad's issues. But the difference is, my dad ended up dying in 2004 of lymphoma. You seem to have this really broad, almost spiritual awareness at such a young age. And when my dad died when I was 19, instead of viewing it in that way, I actually feel like I kind of adopted a lot of my dad's issues. It was like, I need to carry them further or something like that. Or it was like, I definitely was in victim

mode. And I ended up partying way too hard for way too long and just self-sabotaging. So I ended up partying way too hard for way too long and just self-sabotaging. So I ended up going to that point that you were talking about, waiting for the universal smack, not listening to the whispers at all. And I ended up in a jail cell for somebody else's crime, trying to figure out where I was going to throw up my food. And that was my wake up call. So it's like, I'm curious though, what do you attribute to you having that kind of awareness or being able to see things and already start your life on this positive trajectory,

whereas so many other people do what I did and they just let it spiral? What do you attribute to you having that kind of awareness or being able to see things and already start your life on this positive trajectory, whereas so many other people do what I did and they just let it spiral? Yeah. To be honest, I don't know. I honestly see that as a different person, which I've been told by psychologists is called disassociation. But I also feel like if I were to be like, yeah, well, that was a really smart, wise 15-year-old. It also sounds kind of narcissistic. So I look at myself at 15 years old and I'm like, I don't know where that awareness came from. But I think that it was just this internal drive of just wanting to make good out of bad.

And I remember when I was younger, when I was young, my mom used to listen to Tony Robbins. And I thought it was the dumbest thing. I thought it was the dumbest thing in the world. I was like, why is she listening to this positive mindset guy? Like, that's so corny. And then at 13 years old, I was I was always into sports. I was obsessed with sports. And I was kind of like my safe haven from everything. And 13 years old, I had I was the captain of the basketball team that I was on. And we were playing my best friend's team. And he was the captain of the basketball team that I was on. And we were playing my best friend's team. And he was the captain of his basketball team in the championship game. And he was way better than I was. He was way, way better.

And I was so nervous because I was like, Eddie's so much better than me. He's going to destroy us. But I'm the captain, so I'm supposed to be the best one. And so my mom sat me down and she's like, well, have you thought of visualizing it? And I was like, I'm 13 years old. I'm like, I don't even know what that means. And she's like, you know, go into your room, lay down on the floor and just close your eyes and visualize

the game happening and visualize all of it happening the exact way that you want to and go through the motions and go through the motions and spend like 20, 30 minutes doing it. And that way, when you get to the court, it'll feel like you've already done it. And it won't feel like something you need to be nervous of because it's something that you've already done. So I was like, all right, I guess I'll go try it. So I remember literally going into... I actually went into the bathroom. Went into the bathroom and I laid there for 20-30 minutes and I visualized the game. And I remember getting to the game and it was literally like, I wasn't nervous at all. And I was like, this is crazy. I basically, through visualizing the future that I wanted,

was able to live it and then go and create it. And there was no nerves that were there because I had already done it. So I think that there was probably some small bits of programming that were there. And my mom was just... She was just an incredible person. The stuff that she was able to do, she never made excuses. She worked two or three jobs. She's just a powerful woman. And so I think just from her of seeing like, okay, all of the things that happened, there's a bunch of stories of my father being in jail and all of that stuff as well. She never made excuses for it. She never wanted pity for it. She never wanted assistance financially from my grandparents or anything like that. So I think she was just like,

you know what, I'm going to make it happen. And so for me, when I saw this bad thing happen, I was like, this could be bad the rest of my life, or I could just figure out a way to make it good. And I think that I just figured it out and it clicked. And I never really saw my outlet for the next four years until I was able to get into Cutco and go, oh my gosh, this is my outlet to change. And when it came up, I just became obsessed with it. And I wish I could say I meditated at that age or I had some spiritual awakening or something like that. But I think it was just, I've always been really quiet. I am an introvert, which is surprising a lot of people.

I prefer to be alone. So I sit quietly a lot. After it happened, I got even more quiet and I was able to think and process it. When most people, when somebody dies, they try not to feel the grief. And I remember the feeling and I was like, this is the worst day of my life, but this is the best day of my life because, and that's what I've said since the day it happened, is because it gave me the awareness that this life is going to end and I need to do everything that I possibly

can. Like my father was the very first person that I ever knew that passed away. And it was unexpected. We weren't, you know, he was an alcoholic, but we weren't expecting it to happen. So for me, it was just like, you know, I think there were just a bunch of little teeny tiny seeds that were dropped along the way and they all kind of rose at the same time and worked out perfectly in line for me. I think it's so interesting how a lot of times we assume that children can't internalize certain things when a lot of times they might not internalize it in the same way that an adult is. But it becomes a foundation for the way that they think. And one of those was I remember when I was in sixth grade, I started to hear the words or the phrase mind over matter and understand what that was. And I just remember

being in PE and like, all of a sudden I was like, mind over matter, I'm going to win this mile. It was like how you had to run the mile every year, you know, and like do it for time. And at the time I had asthma and I was like, I'm not going to have asthma anymore. And I'm going to win this mile. And I remember it working for me. And it was because my mom had joined Amway and that didn't turn out amazing, but they did have a book club and I would get a taste of these higher ways to think of things from these sales books and like the five love languages. And I didn't understand it in a way that I do now whatsoever, but I really attribute some of those lessons at such a young age to forming the basis for how flexible my mind is now and some of the things that are really easy for me to believe

that I don't have to convince myself because of those seeds that were planted. So I feel like it's really going to change the way that I raise my kids when I have them. I'm going to explain things to them. And it'll also make me a better teacher because you have to learn to explain something in a way for somebody who's going to absorb it in a different way than you, if that makes sense. I think the children are more intelligent than us. And the reason why I say this is because they're not socialized yet. And if you go back to what I was saying of, you know, what I was saying of, of most people when somebody dies, they try to keep themselves busy to not feel the grief. Like that's not a way to work through something, but children tend to do it differently. And I think, I think that children

are number one, like my thing that I absolutely love is early childhood, like neurology, psychology, and early childhood development are my favorite things to research. Children are so ridiculously emotionally intelligent and people act like their children don't understand things. And they might not understand it on the intellectual level that you do. But as far as on the emotional level and as just on the – do you want to call it spiritual level of just the deep understanding that goes into them? I think that they can understand things just as well of us, if not better, because they're using it through no filter of their entire life. If I see anything that I see, I'm seeing through a filter of every single life event, every great thing, every trauma that happened in my life. And I'm only getting pieces of it because I'm filtering out all the pieces that don't make sense with my current life.

A child can internalize everything. And the majority of their life from zero to seven years old is actually in theta state. Their brain is in theta state. In theta, it goes, if you go up and you look higher, there's gamma, there's beta, there's delta. And then there's theta, which is hypnosis state is what they also call it. And usually where people's brains get to if they're really good at meditation. And so that's why they absorb things and they're like a sponge so much. And that think that, and that's why they can learn so quickly. So people act like children are not intelligent. And I think that they're way more intelligent than people actually understand.

And in some cases, I think they're more intelligent because they don't have the filter of all of the BS that they've gone through their entire life, that life event has to go through. It's so true. And they're not trying to be cool. You know, like how many things do you even without knowing, are you bouncing off of like, well, how is how are people going to respond to this? And especially there's those years where now I'm getting past that. I have enough knowledge where I'm like, okay, no, that's not how I want to. I still find myself filtering it through that process sometimes, but it's a trigger for me to stop and tune inward and try to find what's authentic to me. But there's this period of time from high school through college or middle school through college and longer for some people where it's like, well, this isn't going to be widely accepted or this isn't what other people would wear or act or how they would, you know, and even it even comes through on how you post on Facebook. Like, well, what are people are going to think about this? Did this get as many likes? And so

before that, yeah, it's all absorption. And so it also makes you, I'm getting to the age where I'm thinking about kids a lot. I never thought I was going to have them. And now I'm like, I'm getting to the age where I'm thinking about kids a lot. I never thought I was going to have them. And now I'm like, I think it's time. I'm always like, like watching other people, my cousins and things like that. And just seeing like, okay, well, what would I do differently? What would I do similar? And what's interesting now is I'm wondering how this, what we're going through right now is going to affect children. Do you think it's going to be in a positive way? Because guess what? A lot of them might not have that same kind of socialization right now, or it could. I mean, we've never gone through something like this. What happens when you

socially isolate kids for a certain amount of time? You know, here's the thing. I wouldn't call it an issue. I would call it a good issue, I guess you could say. I'm optimistic on everything. I can always find the good in something. I don't want to seem not empathetic to everything that's happening in the world right now because I absolutely am. I understand there's people that are sick, there's people that are terrified, there's people that are dying. But never before has the entire world been affected by one event, and especially not for the continued amount of time that we've had it now, I think that it's going to end up being a great thing. As far as

how it's going to affect children, if we want to specifically talk about that, you have to realize that some children are getting more time with their parents right now than they've ever had in their entire life. And that is always a good thing. It doesn't even matter as far as like, you know, it matters how much time they're spending with them and how much they're paying attention. But just the fact of the, you know, even if you go younger, there's a lot of studies of just the presence of a parent in the way it makes a child feel of having the presence of a parent around. Obviously, it's good to have them engage and for them to be there and all that stuff. But the presence

of a parent, if we're talking, and it sounds woo-woo-y of being like vibrationally or freak on a frequency, you know, it sounds woo-woo-y, but it's actually scientifically proven now as far as like the attachment period. For me, I know that because of the fact that my, you know, my father was an alcoholic and my mom had to work multiple jobs. You know, I've gone to therapists that have said, I was a latchkey kid, which, you know, when I was eight, nine years old, I would go from school, I'd go straight home, and I would be the only one at home for six, seven hours sometimes because my sister, she was 16, so she had a job. My mom was gone working. My dad was gone working. I was always by myself. And so that is what I've been actually

working through and come to find out is a form of neglect. That is emotional neglect of not having a parent there. And so there's a lot of things that I had to try to figure out on myself, which is why I do like being an introvert, because that's how I cope. That's how I understand things is from being quiet. So if we're looking at it just from the sense of children, I think that even the presence of a parent is incredible for them. And are there some parents that are terrible parents that are probably at their wits end and freaking out? And absolutely. Are there some great parents that are freaking out? Probably as well. I wouldn't be surprised. But I think that just the presence of having their parents around and the more of emotional security versus me coming home at eight

years old, nine years old and being like, I don't, if somebody breaks in, like, there's nothing that I can do. You know, there's just that thought in the back of your head all the time. I think that there'll be some sort of way and I don't predict the future, but I think that it will help children and I think it's going to help relationships. And I really think that this is, I am very big on this is going to be something that's going to change the world. I think it's actually shifting human consciousness right now. I am on the same train with that. I have already noticed a lot of positive changes. There's been some hard days for sure, especially recently.

I was like, man, I thought I had just posted on Instagram about this because weeks one through three, I felt like I was thriving. I was so grateful for the work that I had done on myself because I felt like it was changing my experience with this. I am used to seeing the good, especially in the things I cannot change. I appreciate you saying, making the clarification of that doesn't mean that there's no empathy or that I even am in the same boat as some of the people that are struggling the most. At the same time, highlighting those things and talking about those things

when we can't change it doesn't do any good. And so if you're in a situation where you have to accept your reality, then you can either come out of it angry and pissed off, or you can come out of it seeking what's in this for you, even if it's not ideal in your current circumstances. So I agree with that as well. And right now, what's interesting is because obviously so many of us have way more time. I mean, I guess I'm hearing different from some parents where they're like, okay, it's a whole different thing if you're stuck at home with four kids or whatever. But we have a different kind of time regardless, whether you're busy during that time or not. We have this incubator

of a new experience for us right now. And I'm curious though, because you said that you sit alone with your thoughts a lot. What does that look like for you? Because I know a lot of people, especially nowadays, are so addicted to the stimulation that even though there's so much time, that time is being used to binge Netflix or even sitting there for a few moments with your thoughts. It's hard not to reach for your phone. So how do you avoid those types of stimulation? And do you just, is sitting alone with your thoughts, just sitting and staring at the wall and thinking? Is it meditation? Yeah. So a couple of things. I'll go back to something that you said even before that is as far as how it's shifting people. I can give you an idea just from another perspective as well, too,

is so so what I do is obviously I've built coaching programs. I've been a coach for a while is now I teach coaches how to build their following and to actually like literally become coaches. And the crazy thing about it is, believe it or not, even though you would think that people are struggling and there's people that don't have money and jobs and all that stuff, the people who I coach have actually seen massive spikes in the people who want life coaching or wellness coaching or fitness coaching or whatever it is, nutritional coaching, which shows you that people are actually sitting at home thinking, God, how should I change myself?

Which is incredible because maybe that's the big shift that a lot of people needed is just like, now that you're sitting at home and you're not at your job, you're not keeping busy every single second with the stimuli that you're talking about. Maybe they're sitting there and they're going, okay, the first week I'm gonna drink some beers. It's gonna be fun. It's kind of like, you know, I used to live in Florida. I grew up there. So it's a hurricane party. You know, it's kind of like that type of thing where it's like, let's party, let's drink, let's play some games. And then three weeks in, you're like, the hell am I doing with my life? Like, like I'm overweight or, you know, I'm miserable or whatever it is. And they're reaching out to these coaches being like, Hey, can I get some help?

Can I get some fitness help or nutritional help? So that shows me with the huge bike that I've seen with all the people that we've coached that, that we're going in the right direction. It makes me super positive in the fact that we're going that direction. The second part of the question that you asked, though, is like this morning. Here's the thing. I literally, I'm 100%. My business is all online. So not a whole lot has changed for me, except for we've gotten busier. But that means that I'm always having to be on my phone. I'm always having to be on my, you know, literally, when we get off of this, I have a call with, you know, like 200 people that are going to be on have a call with, you know, like 200 people that are going to be on a zoom call. And so it's like, I'm always going as well. And so I get it. But

with that being said, it's not like in the middle of the day, I have a whole lot of time to just sit there and stare at a wall, but I try to find times for it, which is the important thing. I wish that I could be just a Zen Buddhist monk and run the business that I have and do all the stuff that I have now and literally just live life like that. It would be great. It'd be perfect for me, but I wouldn't be able to accomplish my life mission of helping a billion people by doing that. And so I have to make space for it. And this is like non-negotiable space. And so this morning, we live in Austin, Texas. We're in Sedona right now.

We were supposed to be here for four weeks. We do a good amount of traveling. We usually gone about 50% of the year. And we were in Sedona, supposed to be here for four weeks. Now we've been here for nine because we're just gonna stay here. We have this beautiful view that's here. I went outside, I took my tea with me.

My dog sat out there and we just looked at this beautiful view for about 45 minutes and just sat in the sun. No music, nothing, no stimuli, any of those things. And I just allow myself space. And sometimes I sit there and believe it or not, nothing happens. No ideas, nothing. And that's got to be okay. And that's the thing is I'm not sitting there trying to get something out of it, which I think a lot of... I did that for a while. But I think a lot of people do that as well. But I believe that none of my ideas, and this might be on the woo-woo-wee side,

I don't believe that any of my ideas actually come from me. I just believe that something is giving them to me every once in a while, but I don't hear them unless I'm sitting silently. And so I try to just give myself the space, 45 minutes in the morning, whether it's through meditating, you know, I meditated this morning for about 15 minutes. Sometimes I do it for an hour, but I just, even if it's just sitting and staring at a wall, like when we're in Austin, we live in a downtown apartment, you know, I'll sit there in my living room, TV off. And I look at the wall where the TV is and I'll just sit there with my tea and I'll just think and just allow space to be there and

just go, you know what? There is nothing more important that needs to be accomplished, which is really hard for me. There's nothing important that needs to be accomplished right now. This is scheduled and your schedule as you time, just sit and be quiet. Just enjoy it. Just enjoy sitting with your dog, enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. And you know, when 10 o'clock hits or nine o'clock hits, depending on what day it is, that's when your schedule will start working. That's really what it looks like. And some days, like I said, nothing happens. And I'm like, cool. Well, at least I feel more present. And then some days I'm like, holy crap, I literally just got something that's an incredible idea for a viral video that I'll make or a podcast episode or my coaching clients or another business or something like that.

I think when you go into with no attachment and expecting nothing is usually, believe it or not, when the things actually come to you. So that's kind of what the routine looks like for me. And then throughout the day, I try to find moments of space. Okay, I've got 15 minutes for my next call. I'm going to sit here for 10 minutes and just close my eyes and just be. It's like the phrase, you're not a human doing, you're a human being. Just try to be more. That's it. it. Do you know who Paul Selig is? Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. I actually was on my Instagram the other day and he liked one of my photos. And I was like, holy crap, Paul Selig just liked my photo. So I love him. And so I

started a conversation with him on Instagram. But yeah, I love his stuff. I found Paul Selig years ago, right? It was when he was still in his first trilogy. I became obsessed. I've interviewed him on Mind Love. And actually, his team just reached out to me. So I'm going to be interviewing him again for his next book. I'm so excited. But I went to one of his in-person workshops.

And he is not only a medium, but he's also, he's psychic. And so he can, he'll come to you for things, as he puts it. And so I asked him a question. And at the time, I was still kind of trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I was just about to start Mind Love, but wasn't super clear. And I ended up doing this or asking him, like, am I on the right path? It's like I needed external validation still. And he came to me and he did this like weighing thing.

And he's like, you're funny. You're kind of like a little here, a little there, maybe this, maybe that. And he basically said, it's like, you're so open-minded that you can basically weigh any truth at any time. And he said, but I think what you need is just stop doing for a minute and just start being. And at the time I thought I knew what that meant, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. And I was like, why couldn't he just be a little bit more clear? But I totally feel you because in those moments where I think a lot of people, especially when they're starting to try to create that space, I remember a different company I was working for. And I was like, I need to be creative.

And I was like, Googling how to get into my creative brain. And I'm like, just play and just be. And I was like, what does this mean? In doing that, I was putting pressure on myself, trying to force an idea in this time that was supposed to be more just acceptance and allowance and letting ideas flow or not, whatever decided to happen. And the thing is, is that you don't know the space that you created right then that you may not have thought led to anything might have been the space that drew in the idea that happens tomorrow. It doesn't need to happen right then when you're creating the space, but if you don't ever create that space, then your head is full. You already have all the thoughts coming in and out, like what room is there to even have a creative idea next week? So I think a lot of times our expectations are unrealistic because we're

expecting everything to happen right now, just like we've trained ourselves like, oh, I can pick up my phone and have a new piece of information to receive right now. Why doesn't my brain work in the same way? And so it's these things that we're creating are more of building a foundation regardless of when that comes. Yeah. It's interesting. I'm like super, super visual. So I always see everything in my head first. But I remember when this just came to me. So like I remember when I was a little kid, do you remember CB radios, like the radios that truckers communicate with? Yeah.

Have you ever used one of those? So when I was younger, I was in like elementary school, my friend had a CB radio and it was like a 20, like there's like a 20 or 30 foot, like just really long and skinny wire that went off the top of their, their roof that basically got them to communicate with truckers. And this is, I guess what people used to do before there was the internet. So this is what we did and we would scroll through and sometimes we would find the channel that all the truckers went on and we could talk to them. And it's like these 10-year-old kids that are talking, these 50-year-old truckers with deep country accents and stuff. And we'd have these conversations. But then sometimes there would be nobody on. And I think that the way that it works and the way that I'm seeing it in my head

is ideas and creativity only come to you when you're allowing yourself the space. And it's kind of like scrolling through the radio. And sometimes something comes in and sometimes it doesn't. But just because it didn't come in today doesn't mean that you shouldn't go tomorrow and actually scroll through the CB radio and see if you can get some sort of frequency. And that's just kind of the way that I see,

like I don't want to take any ideas, like any credit for any of the ideas that I've made. Like I said, I see myself more as a messenger or a conduit more than anything else, where I'm just like, this idea came to me, I'm going to make it. And I've always felt that way, which is kind of weird because you don't hear it explained. And then I read a book called Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, the same woman who wrote Eat, Pray, Love. And she talks about this. She talks about how up until recently, if you go back to the Greeks and the Romans and all of the incredible artists that came out of Florence, Italy,

is they never actually took any credit for anything that they did. They always thought that they had a muse. And in some of those days, they actually thought a muse was a spirit that lived inside of their walls. And sometimes it would come out and give them really good ideas, and sometimes it wouldn't. And therefore, they can never take full credit for what they make. But then they could also never fully blame themselves for not being fully creative because their muse also didn't show up. And I heard that and I was like,

oh my God, that's kind of, I don't think anything loses my walls. Hopefully it doesn't. But I've always just felt that way of like, these ideas are not mine. And if I don't shut up for a little while, then I'll never hear them. And so I just try to, I also know like, I would also say if anybody wants to kind of,

you know, turn their creative brain and if this is stimulating them sort of way, and they want to kind of think about it, see, start to start to think about how your creative brain works. Like for me, mine, once I get into work mode, because I'm, I'm hyper-focused, like I just have this thing where the world doesn't exist if I'm on something. Like my girlfriend was literally just sending me, like she was talking to me just a few minutes ago right before we started. I didn't even hear a word she said because I was in the middle of working on something. And I didn't even know she said anything. But she's come to realize after being with me for

years that that's just how I am. I'm just hyper-focused. But I've come to realize that if I don't turn on my creative brain in the morning, it will not be on the rest of the day. Because if I literally wake up and I go straight into work mode, the brain literally goes straight into work mode. Productivity and creativity, I don't think are on the same wavelength. But if I turn on my creative brain, I sit there for 30-45 minutes and just simply be, I'll notice that when I get into work, I start having better ideas for work. So it's literally like I turn on the faucet and it continues to flow the rest of the day. And sometimes it comes through really strong and hot. And sometimes it comes

through just a little bit of a couple drops. But that's kind of the way that I see it in my head. It just exists and just allowed to come through with absolutely no attachment to it. What I love about that is a lot of people have a problem or have one of their biggest mindset blocks is in worthiness. It comes up a lot with listener emails and things like that where, you know, they might have an idea, but then they're just like, well, I don't know if I can pull it off. There's something about feeling like, wait, this idea came to me and it's something I'm receiving. It's something I'm attracting for some reason.

Then who are you to say that, you know, and that point, it's something I'm attracting for some reason, then who are you to say that, you know, and that point, it's your responsibility. It's like, okay, well, this came through, like I should create this. There's maybe there's meaning in this for me to create this rather than is this my idea? Is it good enough? Because when it's already yours and it's attached to you, you can have all these preconceived notions about, I mean, the way you even handle that idea, the way, the trust you have in yourself to create it. Whereas if it's being attracted to you, that's not there. It's like, this is an amazing idea. I just downloaded it, whatever it might be. Yeah, 100%. view yourself in a different way. Like if this came to me, maybe I'm the one that's supposed to do that. Maybe there's something special about me receiving this idea and use that to boost your self-esteem a little bit. For sure. And here's the thing is going back to what you said about

worthiness. I believe that everybody has worthy initiatives that they have to work through. And somebody who really explains this well, that's like I consider a mentor of mine, even though he's dead, is Ram Dass. And Ram Dass talks about the socialization process. And Ram Dass died a spiritual teacher. He was a spiritual teacher for like 60, 70 years. But before that, he was actually one of the assistant heads of psychology at Harvard. And he talks about the socialization process. And he also specialized in early childhood development.

And you take these beautiful beings that are literally perfect as they come in. And as they are, quote unquote, perfect, they still don't fit with our society. And so you have to socialize a child, whether that be through, they see what they're supposed to do by just watching other people or they're reprimanded in some sort of ways. And I think that what happens is it tends to, you go and do something and you're a little tiny child. And the visual that I see in my head is like, you're a little tiny child and you do something and you break it. Your parents are like, no, no, no, that's not what you're supposed to do. So you have to look up and see them and, you know, okay, I broke that. Now I got to go try to do

something else. And then you start to realize that you're always kind of being watched by someone that's bigger than you, supposedly smarter than you, that's in control. And so you're kind of going through your entire childhood, your very early childhood, that's in control. And so you're kind of going through your entire childhood, your very early childhood, looking up and being like, am I doing this right? You know, for everything that you do, until you get socialized to start doing things right, like stop crying in public, stop taking your clothes off in public, stop, you know, wetting yourself, all of those things that children do. But if you're raised to always look up and go, am I doing this right? And then you get to 20 years

old and you leave the house, 18 years old and you leave the house, you're always had that programmed into you of like, am I doing this right? And so I think that our lack of worth comes from the fact of we don't need to look to somebody else to see if we're doing it right. We just need to figure out a way to be confident that everything that we do is done in our best interest with our best intentions, with the amount of knowledge that we have at that current time, whether we screwed up or whether we don't, we tried our best and we need to be okay and let go of that. Like, am I doing this right? Looking up at a parent. And that's the thing that I've, you know, no matter how much trauma you have or have not had, even if you've had a perfect life, you still had things that you did wrong

in childhood and you had to be socialized in some a perfect life, you still had things that you did wrong in childhood and you had to be socialized in some sort of way. And I think that that gets the, am I doing this right, is where the lack of worthiness comes from. And I think that ultimately a human's life goal is to have that unworthiness programmed into them, you know, unintentionally most of the time. And the life purpose is to go back to, I am worthy, I love myself no matter what happens. I agree with all of that. There's something that it immediately brought up from my childhood. My mom was an amazing mom. We have a very close relationship. One of her ways, though, of training me to be a human was I was always like the shock factor kid. I had a really bold personality. My family's a little bit out there and they all think they're funny. And so we just did inappropriate things

all the time. And my mom was like the voice of reason that was always embarrassed. And so I got a kick out of that and I was like, well, I'm going to be more like my aunt and embarrass my mom sometimes. So every time we were leaving like a social gathering, it was the ride home that she'd then be like, you know, you didn't have to do this and you didn't have to do that. And it's interesting because she's like, I mean, I thought I was doing good, not embarrassing you in the moment, which probably was. It probably would have been way more traumatic if she was scolding me in front of everybody. But to this day, I will be in a group of people and I'll have an amazing time. I'll feel so lit up. And on my ride home, I'll start having these feelings. Wait, did I sense this from that

person? Did I do this right? Oh my gosh. And then all of a sudden regret sets in. And so even with the best intentions, I don't even know a way around that where I wouldn't have been affected. Either way would have sounded like a lose, but it still affects you so much. And now it's like my life's work where, well, a piece of it. When I'm leaving things now, I have to reparent myself in that way where I'm like, okay, I know these worries are going to set in. So now it's my duty to try to untrain some of that. What went right? What can I focus on? What the connections that I made, the energy that I created in that space

and consciously trying to reprogram myself to experience things in a new way. And that's the thing is, your mom did have great intentions for you. And the other thing about children is that it's really interesting as well that really makes me think as I dive into early childhood development is that we only remember – when we look back at a memory, we're only remembering about 50% of what truly happened.

So which means that we're fabricating 50% of it in some sort of way, whether that's just changing it a little bit or making it more or less or whatever it is. And so we can replay those memories over and over and over again, and they can be actually be, you know, 50% false. And, you know, I would say that your mom did take the better route, obviously, of not yelling at you in public, because that could be traumatic as well. But then also, if you have it that way, I bet that there's a part of you that you're just like, oh my God, like same thing, like that phrase, I just came up with it one day, because it popped in my head of like, am I doing this right? And we're all kind of wondering, am I doing this right? And I just hired somebody yesterday for my team. And he's a young kid. And he's like, I had a question for you. What made you so driven when you were in Cutco to want to be the number one office out of 700 of them? And I was like,

I was 22 years old, 23 years old, actually. And my father passed away eight years ago. And I was still asking him, am I doing this right? And that's where I got my self-worth from was from beating everybody else and being number one and being competitive. And so it's like, it's all the exact same soup. We just have different bowls that we hold it in. Yours is on the drive home. Mine is trying to prove myself to my father who passed away. But ultimately what we're always doing is just going, Hey, am I doing this right? And, um, and I think that that ultimately is just, we just have to figure out a way to go, you know what, I'm doing the best that I can with the tools that I have. And hopefully I didn't offend anybody in every, the way that it should. And then at the same time,

you have to realize that a lot of times the way that your parents socialized you, if you're going to give yourself that form of grace, you have to give your parents that form of grace as well. A parent's not going to be a worse parent than they are capable of being. So even if they were a crappy parent, they did the best they had with the tools they had. And that's what the cards that you were given. And so you've got to go, you know what, that's in the past. And what am I supposed to learn from it? Just the same thing with this coronavirus we're going through. I ask in the past and what am I supposed to learn from it? Just the same thing with this coronavirus we're going through. I ask myself every day, what am I supposed to learn from this thing?

And I think that that's the important thing is when you do have a life event, no matter how big or small it is, life is about learning and just extracting a lesson from every single event that you have. And I think that if you can live your life going, okay, maybe next time, I won't be hard on myself for the way that I said that,

but maybe next time I'll say this in a different way. Whatever it is that it might be. And if we could just all give ourself more grace, everybody should be able to breathe a little bit easier. True. And it's interesting too, because I view our species as like, we're not just developing from birth till death. We're going down a lineage. And when I look back at my family lineage, I remember growing up and my mom, I had an awareness. I believe my mom told me that she didn't hear I love you that much when she was growing up. And my grandparents are amazing too. We have a really close relationship. They're the best, but they weren't raised where they said, I love you. So they were kind of uncomfortable. And I remember being a child being like, I'm going to change this. So

I would make this point to be like, I love you, nanny and poppy, which is what we call my grandparents. And then my mom changed that in the way she raised me, where we were always saying, I love you. And even in our family, looking at it, we are the ones that are most vocal about our love for each other. And then now there's plenty of things that I'm going to change from the way my mom raised me. But it's like we are evolving as humans. We didn't know the same things that we knew 100 years ago that we know today. Science is teaching us more about how the brain develops. We're learning more about how children develop. We're learning more about how the universe works and how to change, like mindset

work 50 years ago was not really a thing. You know what I mean? And so now it's just our responsibility to use what we know and do the best with it. Whereas even for some people, maybe they can look at their lineage and maybe it wasn't improving decade or generation after generation. However, I have the belief that our souls choose our families. They choose the hardships that we're going to go into. I was going to go down that route, but I didn't know how woo-woo-weed you wanted to get. Oh, we go full woo here. I'm on the same page as you. I 100% agree with that. Yeah. And so it's like, if you were born to parents of alcoholics that were also abusive,

and it was the worst ever, what was in that for you? As hard as it might be to compare maybe with other loving families that you see, what did you gain from that? What could you still gain from it if you choose to still have the courage to look at how it's still affecting you today? For sure. Yeah. And I had this conversation with my mom. My mom's very religious. I am not. I'm very spiritual now though. Same.

Oh my gosh, we're like twins. Yeah, it's, well, it's, it's, it's like, it's the way the universe works. You connect with people that are supposed to, you know, that you can, there's a whole other story about yogurt knows yogurt. And it's like, you know, not to go too off topic, but this will, this will intrigue some people. If you take a, if you take a box of yogurt, flip it upside down and put it, put it there, you know, yogurt,

you feed whatever the microorganisms that are there with milk. If you were to take the yogurt, cut it in half and put one on one side of the table, one on the other side of the table, and you give milk to one of them, the other one starts acting like it's about to be fed. If you were to take the other one and put it into another room and then feed the other one, it would still act like it's supposed to be fed. And so it's the phrase of yogurt knows yogurt. So it's like the universe gives you people that are similar to you because you start to connect and you start to know each other. You start to understand each other much quicker, which allows you to go deeper. That's just my phrase that I love to say when we have very similar backgrounds and we

can connect and really be there together. But going back to what we were just talking about is I was having this conversation with my mom and my mom's very religious. So I never understood reincarnation until I did a bunch of psychedelics. And then I was like, oh yeah, this makes sense now. I completely understand this whole soul thing. Right. And so, so I was in the car ride with my mom the other day and I said, this is about two months ago. And we were talking about, my mom still, uh, resents my father in some sort of ways, you know, they, he died, you know, almost about going to be 19 years this year. And she still resents him and holds in some sort of way. And, and she had to go through a lot of stuff. So, so rightfully so. And that's her journey. But, um, but she's like, so's like, do you not resent him anyway?

I was like, no, I'm actually grateful for him. And the way that I see it, I was like, mom, let me ask you a question. Let me just talk about your soul and just go through this journey with me and see what you think. And I've asked this question many times. And I said, do you feel like a human being that's having a spiritual time? Or do you feel like a spirit that's having a human experience? So that's what it is.

Are you a human having a spiritual experience or a spirit having a human experience? My mom's one of the few people who have responded, I feel like I'm a human having a spiritual experience. I was like, okay, let's work through that because I don't. I feel like I'm a spirit that happens to be inhabiting this body. It's just my car. This is my vehicle for this lifetime that I have. But I feel like my soul is infinite. I just have this knowing, this feeling that's deep inside of me. And I go, let me ask you this question. When grandpa died, we were in the room, my grandfather

died, her dad. And I go, when grandpa died, five minutes before he died, how much difference in his weight before he died versus five minutes after he died? And she's like, he weighed exactly the same. And I said, right. So then what happened? And she's like, well, he basically left his body. And I said, what left his body? She's like, well, maybe his spirit. I was like, so maybe he's a spirit that's having a human experience. And now he's just going back to wherever he's from. And I go, this is the way I like to see it, mom. The way I like to see it is you and me our souls are connected and before you were born before i was born we were looking down and we were going okay you know we've had hundreds of lives or thousands of lives or whatever it is no idea that's not for

me to know or to it doesn't really matter at this this point in my lesson and you and i are sitting up there together and we're looking down and we're flipping through this book, kind of like when you go to do karaoke and you have the karaoke book of all the songs, right? And you're looking through and you're flipping through and you're like, you know, Bon Jovi, you're seeing all the different ones,

but you're like, you know what? Debbie Dial and Rob Dial. Okay, this is what's going to happen. They're going to go through this. This is what their life's going to look like. Debbie's going to marry an alcoholic man who passes away when her son's 15. Rob's going to be in this. And we look at each other and we go, do you want to do it? And she's like, yeah. And I'm like, and we knew that for us to get to our

next level of our soul or next level of enlightenment, we had to go on this journey together. And so therefore, I can't be mad at dad. In fact, I'm actually grateful for him because he was the biggest lesson of my life, which changed the trajectory of my life completely. And so I went through this whole thing. And she's like, Damn, yeah, that actually makes a lot more sense now. And I was like, that's just the way that it makes sense in my head. And I just feel like everything that happens to me is something I'm supposed to learn from. So like we're saying of the self worth thing, or if you're talking about the coronavirus or anything that pops up or a breakup or a death, you sit there and you're like, okay, number one, your amount of anxiety and stress and depression will be in direct correlation with

how much you're resisting the way that the world actually is. So if somebody dies and you're resisting it, you're going to be way more stressed out. But the sooner that you can accept it and go through the grieving process, the quicker you can extract your lesson. And so whatever the event is, you sit there and you accept it and you go, okay, it might take me a few days, but what am I supposed to learn from this? And that's just the way that I've always seen it. My grandparents passed away 17 days apart. They were together for 71 years. And I remember journaling every single day. I remember journaling that I was in the hospital when my grandfather passed, stayed the night with him. And I journaled that night about what type of

person that he was, not knowing that he was going to pass away a few hours later. And then I journaled the next day when I went with my mom and her three sisters. It was me, my mom and her three sisters were the only people there when they told my grandma who had been with my grandfather for 71 years that, you know, her soulmate was gone. And I remember seeing her face, right? And that whole thing, like just changed me. And I remember I went up about 20 minutes later to, to one of the rooms, the guest rooms, and I just journaled and journaled and journaled what that feeling felt like. And what am I supposed to get from watching that process on somebody? Somebody processed that on their face. And I remember going through the entire process. And then she basically was like, I'm done here. And she basically shut it down.

She didn't want to. She didn't kill herself physically, but she shut it down. Like she didn't want to, she didn't kill herself like physically, but she shut it down. And 17 days later she passed away. And I was like, what the hell is going on? Like not, not in a bad way, but I was like, the way that I viewed the world is not the actual real way it's happening. She decided to shut the body down and to leave because she had had, she had, you know, filled her, fulfilled her purpose. And so through that whole process, I really started thinking about my soul and my soul's journey and what happened. And being in the room, my grandfather passed away, it was like, I would not want to be anywhere else in the world because it's the most humbling experience to be in the room when somebody dies. But it really changes your view on what life actually is.

I love the way you put that. And I think so many people believe that finding love and acceptance in something really hard means that somehow you just zend out and you're avoiding all the feelings, you're avoiding the grief. But acceptance doesn't mean avoiding the grief. It actually is the opposite of avoiding anything. It's letting go of your preconceived notions of pushing back, of resisting. It's that what we talked about before about either, of resisting. It's what we talked about before, about either doing or being. It's being through it, which means feeling all the human emotions that's going to happen with it, which means going through the stages of grief, which means doing what you can to be there the most through it rather than avoid any of it. And so loving and acceptance

of something really hard like that, of what we're going through right now, is being courageous enough to actually be dragged through the mud and have the awareness enough to look inside and say, why did I experience that? Why did I see that thing on that person's face? Why am I now stuck in my home? Why did I see that thing on that person's face? Why am I now stuck in my home? Why do I feel the collective fear of everybody? What can I take from this rather than pushing your own agenda? It's a time to receive as I view it. For sure. And I want to say something. I want to say something what you said that's really good too. It isn't zending out. It's actually feeling the emotions more than you've ever felt

the emotions. People could call it weird and sadistic if they want to. But when something bad happens, I want to feel it. I really want to feel what that is because I can't appreciate a beautiful sunset with my girlfriend and my dog if I haven't been drugged through a whole bunch of crap. The sunset is more beautiful and life is more beautiful, even in the most boring times, when I've felt the lowest of low emotions. And like I said earlier, is that most people try to keep busy so they don't feel it. When you don't keep busy and you don't distract yourself is when you truly do feel it. And you feel it and go, okay, is this what I want to be happening right now? No, but there is some beauty in the darkest, darkest moments. I went through a really bad

breakup 11 years ago, 10 years ago now. And I remember literally crying in my bathroom on the floor. And even though I would never want to feel those feelings again, I'm so grateful that I felt them because it gave me more love and respect when you are in a good relationship. And I just think you can't have the highest highs without having the lowest lows. But if you're restricting yourself from feeling those lows, you're also restricting yourself from eventually feeling the highs. I agree completely, especially because we, even on the way of just how we're going to experience something, like I remember, I didn't understand stopping and pulling over to see a beautiful view when I was 11.

Like it meant nothing. I was like, I don't get this. I see a brown mountain. You know? And also though, during those times of when we are distracting and stimulating and distracting and stimulating the cycle that we're constantly, so many of us are constantly going through, you are creating habits. And so you're going to be distracting and stimulating through the beautiful views and through the things that you could sit there. And there's so many times now that because of what I've gone through, I'm able to sit there and it feels like euphoria in my body. A good meditation feels so good in my body. Whereas before it was hard to even do because I wasn't allowing myself to be ever. So thank you so much for all that you've shared. I ended up, I was just going to do a little research on you and your podcast, and I ended

up listening to way more episodes than I thought because they're so good and they're just like bite-sized, easy to listen to in one sitting. And it's interesting. I was noticing that before the lockdown, you had these certain topics like stop being the victim and everything's amazing and people are miserable. And it almost felt like the most beautiful foreshadowing for what we're about to experience. I never even thought of that. That's a great point that you've made. Yeah. It was so interesting. Yeah.

Yeah. I just think that life is a beautiful thing and I'm trying to extract everything that I can out of it. So I think that, I think that, that going through this, once again, I don't, I actually feel it. Like I really do. I'm an empath. So I feel, I was driving yesterday and I was like, I feel other people's emotions. I'm lucky enough to not have somebody that I know. I've had a couple of friends get sick with coronavirus, but nobody's died or anything. So I'm lucky enough not to go down that process, but I've been feeling other people's emotions through it. And I'm still trying to extract lessons from it at all times. And whether it's this or whether it's something else, or whether it's another thing in 10 years, you know, I'm always just a constant learner of just saying like, what is this supposed to be

teaching my soul? Because like I said, I see this as I see it kind of like a video game. And this is just the level. I'm on the coronavirus level. That's just the way that I see it kind of like a video game and this is just the level. I'm on the coronavirus level. That's just the way that I see it. And the worst thing that could happen is all of these beautiful things come into my life and these awarenesses and lessons that I'm supposed to take and I miss them because I'm too busy not paying attention to them. So I think if everybody could just be a little bit more positive, just ask yourself anytime something happens, good or bad, what am I supposed to learn from this?

I think that they'll grow so much faster. So for listeners who can't get enough of this conversation, where is the best place for them to connect with you online? Yeah. So if they're podcast listeners, they can listen to my podcast. It's called The Mindset Mentor. It's like 12 to 15 minutes. It's Monday, Wednesday, Friday. And then if they like videos, if they're a video person like I am, Instagram are, are the biggest ones. And then, you know, if anybody had anything that, that I can help them with and they just want to send me an email and see if I can help them, that's robdial.com. Um, so R O B D I A L super simple. And, you know, whatever, whatever way you want to consume my content, I'm out there all over the

world and you know, you could just Google me as well. So I'm all over. I'm trying to create more content in this coronavirus time just so we can try to impact and help people as much as possible because there's a lot of fear that's out there. So I'm trying to help mitigate that with a lot of people. Hey, thanks so much for listening all the way through. You are a true fan if you listen to this entire podcast episode. If you love it, please share it with someone that you know and love. Please tag us on your Instagram,

you know, take a video or a screenshot of you listening to the podcast. Tag me on Instagram, Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I would greatly, greatly appreciate it so that we can continue to grow and continue to impact more people in this time when I think people need it the most. So I appreciate you for listening. And I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.