The Mindset Mentor - What if it All Works Out?

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have now you've done so, please hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you love this podcast, please do me a favor, please give us a rating and review. However you listen to us, it takes like 30 seconds and it helps more than you can possibly imagine because the more positive ratings and reviews that we get, the more that they actually show this. Apple and Spotify show this to people who have never listened to this podcast. So therefore, this podcast can impact other people as well when you give us a rating and review and I would greatly, greatly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Today, we're going to be talking about how the world is conspiring to make your life amazing. And I talked about this last year, but it seems like I need to talk

Starting point is 00:00:52 about this every year because it seems like every year things get a little bit crazier and crazier and crazier. I don't know about you, but the past couple of years have been pretty nuts in good ways and bad ways and in ways. That's the way that it really works. in good ways and bad ways and in ways. That's the way that it really works. But I want to talk about this idea of paranoia, right? We've all heard the phrase paranoia before. It's the thought that the world is out to get you or somebody is out to get you or everybody is out to get you. I don't know about you, but I know people who are paranoid. I actually have somebody in my family who has a clinical diagnosis of paranoia. Like since he was a child, he's always thought that the world was out to get him. Even to the

Starting point is 00:01:32 point where when he went trick-or-treating one time, he had his little sister write down every single house and what piece of candy they got from each house just in case she was poisoned, they would know where the candy came from. When he's like eight or nine years old. And so there's this idea of paranoia, not really an idea. There's this thing called paranoia, but there is something on the complete opposite side of paranoia where everybody is out to get me. Everything is out to get me. The world is screwed, whatever that might be. The other side of this, there's a phrase that is the exact opposite. It is pro noia. Instead of the world being out to get you, it is that the world is for you. Everything that happens to you is for your greater good. So going through your

Starting point is 00:02:19 challenges is never really easy. But what's really interesting, I've become a much bigger optimist over the course of my life. As I've said before, I was a really negative person for a long time and I could find the negative in anything great. I was that person who could poke holes in every single amazing thing that happened. But as I started working on myself, as I started to learn about self-development, try to get better, meditate, journal, work on myself over years and years and years and years and years, I've come to see like, number one, that focusing on positive is way better. And what's also happened is over years, I've met people who have been through some things. And I mean, some, I've met so many people over years and

Starting point is 00:03:04 years and years and years in my industry that come up to me and say what their life has been about. And I've never really met somebody who's been through something really challenging. And it's been like 10, five or 10 years since it's been that challenging thing. I've never met somebody that's been like, I wish that didn't happen. Every single person seems to come up to me and they're like, this happened and this happened, this happened, this happened. But this is what it came from. I'm so glad it happened because X, Y, Z came from it. I'm so glad that I got cheated on because then I found a person who actually loved me or whatever it might be. It was really interesting because I started to realize that every single quote unquote bad thing, as we would label bad in this world,

Starting point is 00:03:44 turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to somebody. And so when you start to look at that, you really start to realize that maybe pro-noia is the right thing. Maybe the world or the universe or God is constantly putting these things in front of us, these challenges in front of us, these lessons in front of us, so that we can constantly get get better so we can constantly grow? What if just whether you're religious or not religious, whether you think there's a God or you don't think of God, let's just play a game real quick. What if there was something, someone, some being that was out there that was just placing things in front of you for you to constantly get better in every single way? How would that change your viewpoint

Starting point is 00:04:26 of every single thing that happens to you in this world? If just everything good, bad, indifferent is put in front of you for you to learn and grow and to become better. You've heard me talk about how life is a classroom and all of this stuff before, but what if these were actually placed in front of us for a reason? Like think about one of the hardest times in your life. It wasn't easy. You don't want to go through it again. Like if you could reverse and go back through it again, you probably wouldn't want to do it again.

Starting point is 00:04:56 But are you grateful for it now? Like, are you grateful for it? If it was five years ago, seven, 10 years ago, 15, 20 years ago, whatever it was, are you grateful that you went through it now? Do you see how you've become a better person because of that event? Think about that for a second. Can you find how you would be, you're a better person because of it? Like for me, you guys have heard me say this before. If you've been listening for a while, I've had people ask me many, many times, if you could go back and fix your dad, would you? I'm like, I don't know. Because if I were to be able to quote unquote fix, which is the wrong word in the first place, my father's alcoholism, which then made him pass

Starting point is 00:05:35 away when I was 15 years old, I would not have gone through all of the things that I went through with having an alcoholic father. I would not have gone through all of the things that I went through when my father passed away at 15, when I was 15. I would not have gone through all of the things that I went through when my father passed away at 15, when I was 15. I would not have gone through all of those things. Therefore, I wouldn't have had those challenges. I wouldn't have had those lessons and I wouldn't be the person that I am today. Would it be awesome for him to be here? Hell yeah, that'd be super awesome. But I always say his death was the worst thing that ever happened to me, but it also was the best thing that ever happened to me because it woke me up. It changed my life. Everything changed

Starting point is 00:06:10 from that moment forward. So when you look at that, maybe the universe, for using this as an example, placed him in front of me as just a teacher, just a way to learn, just a way to get better, to improve however I'm supposed to improve in this life. Right? So then how would you view your challenges differently? Next time a challenge comes up, if you have this idea of, hey, maybe pro noia is a thing. That means that when this challenge comes up, it's like this, I don't want to go through it. This freaking sucks. I mean, you could cuss it out. I don't care. This sucks. I don't want to be going through this, but I trust that it's here for some sort of reason. So I'm going to work through it. How would your challenges be different if you viewed your life that way? That not everything was happening to you, but everything was happening for you. What about all of your life experiences? Good or bad?

Starting point is 00:07:03 It's not easy to go through these things, but it's easier to know that something great will come from it. All right, now let's talk about something else that I know a lot of people struggle with. Relationships. People in your life, right? So you look at it and you're like, oh man, this person in my life. I get so many messages of like, you know, my mom is this person. My dad is this person. They don't accept me for this. They think this, they say this, they should be doing this. I don't want to do that. I get all these messages of people, especially around holidays of like, hey, I'm about to go home for Easter. What the hell should I do about my mom? Because I know she's going to do X, Y, Z, because this is what she does every single time. And my dad's going

Starting point is 00:07:41 to be this way because of X, Y, Z, this is the way it is all the time. When you start to look at your life through the lens of pro noia and go, okay, if a challenge, you know, a challenging life, a breakup, someone being cheated on, a death in the family, whatever it is, if I look at those as if they are placed in my life for my benefit, for me to learn and grow from, then I'm also forced to look at every person the exact same way, every single trigger the exact same way. So when, you know, you look at it and you go home for Easter and your mom does that thing that she always does, whatever it is, you can look at it instead of being triggered, you can take a step back and be like, okay, universe, God, being, whatever thing that is out there, because we're playing this,

Starting point is 00:08:29 you know, we're putting this over this episode, like, hey, there's something that's putting these things out there just for you to improve on. What am I supposed to learn from this? What am I supposed to learn from my mom getting ridiculously drunk and crying in Easter? Whatever it is that your mom does. I don't know what your mom does, right? What am I supposed to learn from it? How am I supposed to get better from this thing? So instead of looking at it and being triggered in our ways, because if you've been listening long enough, triggers are just another place where you're not free. They're presented to you so you can grow from those triggers. All right. You know what? My dad's triggering me right now. You know, my aunt, my sister, she's triggering me right now. You know, my aunt, my sister,

Starting point is 00:09:05 she's triggering me right now. She's being that person that she's always been. Okay. What am I supposed to learn from her being this way? What if you were to just be thinking of your challenges in life, your experiences in life and the people who are the challenges to you. And every single time you think of them, you think, thank you. Thank you. This is awesome that I get to go through this. It's not fun. It's not the greatest thing in the world, but I will become better when I learn how to work through this. Hey, life can be overwhelming. And for many people, they get burned out without even knowing it. Symptoms include lack of motivation, irritability, fatigue, and many more. I know in times that I felt burned out in the past, I felt demotivated and couldn't figure out exactly what

Starting point is 00:09:50 it is. And one of the things that help with that is being able to talk to somebody. And BetterHelp online therapy wants to remind you to prioritize yourself. Talking with someone can help you figure out what's causing the stress in your life. Now, when some people hear therapy, they think, oh, well, there's something wrong with me if I go to therapy. Absolutely not. One of the things I think that every single person should do in their life is speak with a licensed therapist at some point in time to start to see if there's ways that they can improve their life and there might be things that are holding them back. And BetterHelp is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to be on camera if you don't want to. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under

Starting point is 00:10:28 48 hours. And our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash dial. That's betterhelp.com slash dial. Here's what's really interesting about it. All of the time, when somebody goes home after an event that I threw or whatever to my, they might list the packets for a while and they finally decide to have a conversation need to have. But let's say someone goes, comes to an event that I have. And then after they go back and they're like, you know what? I'm going to have this conversation with my mom. I've been needing to have for a long time. Almost every single time When that person shows up differently to the relationship, the person that they're talking to shows up differently in that relationship as well. It's

Starting point is 00:11:11 not all of the time, but what happens, it might not be the first conversation, second, third, fourth, fifth, but it might be a year down the road. That person starts to change the way that they show up because of the difference of the way that you showed up. And so you start to look at them and say, okay, this relationship that I'm in, I've been stuck in this relationship, but I've been the same type of person in this relationship with my sister for this long. If I show up differently, this is how I'm going to show up. I'm going to show up this way every single time. When I feel the triggers, I'm going to allow myself to feel the triggers. I'm going to figure out a way to work through them, but I'm going to consistently show up this way every single time. When I feel the triggers, I'm going to allow myself to feel the triggers. I'm going to figure out a way to work through them, but I'm going to consistently show up as this person, a new version of myself. Eventually, it might take a year, she's going to

Starting point is 00:11:53 start to shift the way that she shows up around you as well. So with that being said, how can we look at every single piece of what's happened to us and everything that will happen to us as a way for us to get better? So instead of paranoia of the world's out to get me, all of this stuff is happening because things are happening in the world. I don't know about you. I am very optimistic. Things are going to move and shake the way they're supposed to, but I'm just optimistic and humans in the way that's going to be.

Starting point is 00:12:24 You know, then if that's the case, I think that if we can go through every single one of these and go, hey, this is all going to work out the way that it's supposed to, this is all going to come out better. Humans are all going to come out better. I'm going to come out better. If we can be addicted to the thought process of negative, negative, negative, thinking that the world is against you, thinking all of that stuff. If we could be addicted to that, can't we just figure out a way to become addicted to the positive side of something? Because what happens is I don't think a lot of people realize they get in this negative thought pattern over and over and over and over again,

Starting point is 00:12:58 and they get adrenaline and cortisol every day, adrenaline and cortisol every day. Well, the same way that if someone's addicted to a drug, they're addicted to that chemical flowing through their body. And so if someone's an alcoholic, for instance, they're addicted to the chemical of alcohol inside of their body. And when it's not there, they don't feel right. And you know, they have withdrawals, all that type of stuff. Well, some people are literally addicted to the feeling and the the chemical of cortisol and adrenaline and stress in their body and so they're creating negativity and thinking negative and it's over and over and over and over and over again so they wake up and they create the same feeling

Starting point is 00:13:35 through the same thoughts because of the way that they've always felt so if we can become addicted to adrenaline and cortisol and all that stuff can we figure out a way can become addicted to adrenaline and cortisol and all of that stuff, can we figure out a way to become addicted to the chemicals we actually like that will make us feel better? The dopamine and the serotonin? Yes, we can. And we can actually make ourselves start to think better and start going, you know what? This sucks. I didn't want to go through this. It's like a kick in the face today, but I trust that this is going to make me better. I trust, I have faith this is going to make me better. I trust the process. This is going to make me better. I trust, I have faith this is going to make me better. I trust the process. This is going to make me better.

Starting point is 00:14:10 And if we go through life with that type of feeling, we'll notice that we do figure out ways to learn and grow from every single thing that happens to us. So when you think about that, what are you paying attention to? When things happen in your life, what are you paying attention to? You know, are you looking for the good in as many things as you possibly can? Are you looking for the lessons? Or are you looking for how you've, you lost something or you lack something or you don't have something that you

Starting point is 00:14:35 want or you don't have something that you did have at some point? You know, are you looking for the good? Are you looking for the opportunities? Are you looking for the bad in what you don't have? Are you seeing the ways that all of it is on your side? Are you seeing all of the ways that it's not on your side? Because you have to listen to what you're saying and you have to start paying attention to that. And so you actually start to sit there and you're like, man, I've had this little low key feeling of paranoia for the past two years, for the past three years, five years, 10 years, thinking that the world was out to get me and literally searching for how I was getting screwed or how I was getting messed up and how this was going to be negative in my life. When,

Starting point is 00:15:16 if that's a thought and a framing and a process, I could literally switch it to the other, the exact opposite. It might take a little while, but the more intentional I am, the better I can get at it. So next time something challenging comes up, you know, that's something where you go, you know what, this is what I'm supposed to learn. I'm supposed to grow from this. I'm supposed to learn from this. I'm supposed to grow from this. For me, the exact same thing. Like I've had things as of recently that became extremely challenging. I'll share them with you in the next couple of months or so. Extremely challenging. But the whole time I'm going through this, I'm going, what am I supposed to learn? What am I supposed to get from this? Why is this being presented to me? It's being

Starting point is 00:15:52 presented to me for some reason. I don't know what it is. This isn't great. It sucks. I don't want to be going through it, but this is being given to me as a gift for me to learn and grow. What is the lesson that is inside of this? And if you go to every single day thinking that way, you'll actually start to change your life because you're actually finding all of the lessons, all of the keys, all of the pieces where the world or the universe or God is conspiring to make your life amazing. That is the difference between paranoia and pronoia. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you're the type of person, you're out there and you're like, you know

Starting point is 00:16:29 what? I want to learn. I want to grow. I see ways that I want to start switching from paranoia to pronoia and actually start to think the world is for me. There's a lot of uncertainty going on in this world right now. That's why I'm running a two-day event coming up July 8th and 9th. It is the Unbreakable Live Virtual Event. It is two days. It is absolutely free. We'll have people from all over the world there. And we'll be teaching you with all of the uncertainty, with all of the things happening in the world right now. Nobody really knows what the next 12 to 16 to 18 months to 24 months look like. How to build ourselves into the right type of person to be unbreakable no matter what happens. No matter what happens to the economy, no matter

Starting point is 00:17:09 what happens with the wars, no matter what happens with the supply chain shortages, and no matter what happens with stock market and with crypto and all those things. It's about building ourself into the right person so that we can thrive in any circumstance. And so that's going to be July 8th and 9th. It is absolutely free. If you want to sign up, it is robanddean.com because my best friend Dean DeVries is going to be hosting it with me. We'll be live on Zoom with you. So if you want to sign up, absolutely free. It is robanddean.com. And with that, I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - What if it All Works Out?

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