The Mindset Mentor - When Will You Leave Your Comfort Zone?

Episode Date: December 28, 2020

Your 2021 will be no different than 2020 unless you make a change. Are you okay with that? In this episode, I am going to talk about how to make your 2021 way better than your 2020.Follow me on IG for motivational videos from me - @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I am your host Rob Dylann. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. Today we're going to be talking about why it's so hard for you to change. And I'm going to ask you this question. When are you going to change? Here's the thing. I love that you listen to this podcast. I love that so many people listen to this podcast, but there's a certain point where you have to ask yourself, am I just listening or am I actually going to do something? And now I understand there's a lot of you guys out there that are doing something. You're moving, you're working towards a future that you want, but I'm

going to ask everybody that's out there. are you just listening to me for a little motivational kick, a thing that makes you feel good for a little while? It's like a bump of motivational cocaine or something. Or are you listening to me and actually going out and getting shit done? That's the question that I have for you. So when are you going to change? And that's what we're going to talk about today. And I want to talk about 2020 and going into 2021. And I want you to think back on the last year. We're almost at the end of, I can't even freaking believe this is the longest, shortest year, both at the same time of my entire life.

We are at the end of 2020, going into 2021. How was 2020 for you? I want you to reflect for just a second. Think about that question as I asked you, how was 2020 for you? I want you to reflect for just a second. Think about that question as I asked you. How was it for you? Was it everything you thought it was going to be on January 1st before all the stuff happened, before COVID, before Kobe Bryant died, before everything that happened throughout this entire world freaking happened, which seemed like it just things kept happening

every single week before murder hornets came into town for all of this stuff happened. Was 2020 what you wanted it to be? Or was it something different? Was it a great year? Was it a terrible year? How was it for you? My question to you is what's going to be different about this next year? If you don't change, next year will not be any different.

I will promise you that. You can't just expect that your life is going to be so much better if you do all of the exact same things. So are you stuck in a comfort zone? Are you stuck in a 2020 comfort zone? Think about that for a second. Are you? And do you want to stay there? And how long have you been stuck in your current comfort zone? I want to ask you this question. Think about this and I want you to be very, very honest with yourself. How long have you been stuck in your current comfort zone? How long have you been in the same position? How long have you been making the same amount of money? How long have you been

stuck in the same mindset, the same relationships, the same life that you've had? Is it six months? Is it a year? Is it two years, five years, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years? I've heard all of the numbers you could possibly think of. If you don't do something different, nothing will be different. You've heard me say it. You've heard everybody say it. Einstein says insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expect different results. So if you don't make a change where your life is right now, it might be great. It might be terrible. It might be okay. It might be just decent. It might be pretty good. If you fast forward five years and you don't do anything different, you're going to be in the exact

same position in five years as you are right now. Are you okay with that? Is that what you want? I mean, you're listening to this podcast, so there's probably something more. There's some more potential inside of you that you're trying to bring out to all. There's something inside of you that you want to, you know there's more inside of you. So if you went, you know, take your age right now, let's say you're 30 years old. If you fast forward and you're 35 years old and you're in the exact same position, would you be excited about, or would you be pissed? Or would you be sad? Or would you be depressed about it? How would you feel if you fast forwarded five years and you're in the exact same position?

What if it was 10 years? What if instead of being 30 years old, you're 40 years old? What if instead of being 42, you're 52 and you're in the exact same position? How would you feel about it? I'm curious. Think about that for a second. One thing that I always tell, I coach a lot of coaches and I teach them how to grow a coaching business. And one of the things that I always tell them is that our job is to fast forward someone's life to put themselves into the future to see what that future could be and see if they're

okay with that. See if the current decisions, the current actions that they're making, if they were to not change at all, if they fast forward 10 years in their exact same position, how would they feel? How would you feel if you're in the exact same position 10 years from now? You're 35, let's say you're 45. You're in the exact same position. Nothing's really changed. How would you feel about that? Okay. What if it's 20 years? Do you know how many people live their life for the next 20, 30, 40 years? Will be living the exact same life, the exact same day, the exact same week, the exact same year, every single year for the next 20 years? They will. There are people out there who will be living the exact same year.

They'll be 20 years older, but they'll be experiencing the exact same year every single year for the next 20 years. Is that going to be you? When are you going to change? When are you going to stop acting like you get a second at bat at this thing called life? As if you get another chance. As if maybe you'll just decide to work harder the next go around. When are you going to break out of your comfort zone? When's it going to happen? Let's talk about your comfort zone real quick. Why do comfort zones exist? Comfort zones are the modern day cave for cavemen. So if you rewind 100,000 years ago, our ancestors, they traveled around,

they had caves that they lived in. They're kind of cavemen, cavewomen. They hunted, they gathered. Why did they stay inside of caves? Because it was smart, because they were protected, because they were safe inside of a cave. Right. That makes sense. Why? Because there's only one place to go in and one place to go out. So you can't get attacked by 360 degrees. You can only get attacked through the door. If you have one person guard the door, there's a small chance that a lion or tiger or whatever the hell's around you is going to walk in that door. If you put a fire right at the outside of it, nothing's probably going to be walking in. So you're safe. We can sleep. We can allow our nervous system to calm down because we are protected inside of this cave.

Now, if you fast forward to this year, 2020, 2021, we don't have caves. We have houses, but we want the, I'm safe feeling. And what is that? I'm safe feeling. It's your comfort zone. It's the, I feel safe inside of here. Because to step out of a comfort zone is the same thing as stepping outside of a cave. You don't know what's out there. You don't know. There's too many variables. And if you step outside of that cave, there could be something out there that could attack you. Oh yeah. I don't, I don't think it's safe to walk outside of this cave. I think I'm going to stay here. So the exact same thing happens.

Even though we know that we can create this life that we want to, even though we know we have so much more potential, even though we know that we are going to do great things in this world, it's fucking hard to get up and actually do it. Why? Because we want the, I'm safe inside of this cave. I'm safe inside of this comfort zone. So even though we might not be happy with where we are, or it might not be fulfilling to us for where we are, it's better

to stay inside of this cave because walking out of the cave, aka the comfort zone, our brain goes fear. I don't know too many variables. We've never done this before. Maybe we shouldn't. Maybe we should feel fear. And we feel the physical feelings of fear as if we're about to walk out of a cave. Have you ever about to, you know, gone up to go do something where there's no physical threat of death in any sort of way, but you have a physical feeling of, oh shit, I'm really scared. I'm really nervous. Maybe your hands start to shake.

Why do you get that? Because it's you stepping out of your 2020 cave, 2021 cave. These days, it can be hard to find the time to sit down and learn more. And it's not easy with social media being so addictive and so time consuming. So you may think, man, I don't have enough time to develop myself. But there's an app that I highly recommend and it's called Blinkist. Blinkist is for anyone who cares about learning, but doesn't have a whole lot of time on their hands. And Blinkist takes the key ideas and insights from over 4,000 nonfiction bestsellers in more than 27 categories and gathers them into 15 minute text and audio explainers that help you understand the core idea. And 15 million people are already using Blinkist right

now to broaden their knowledge in areas like self-improvement, personal growth, management, leadership, mindfulness, and so much more. And I like Blinkist because if you guys know me, I'm short to the point. It only takes 15 minutes of my time. And the first book I would recommend that you listen to is How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie on Blinkist. And right now, Blinkist has a special offer for my audience. If you go to Blinkist.com slash mindset and get 25% off Blinkist premium membership, that's Blinkist spelled B-L-I-N-K-I-S-T

dot com slash mindset, Blinkist.com slash mindset. So why do they exist? Your cave, your comfort zone exists because your brain wants to feel like it is safe. And how does it only know one way? Does it only know that it's going to be safe? It's because if it looks at the past and sees where you currently are and the things that you've done before have kept you alive, then it wants you to continue to do those things because it knows that by doing those things, you won't die. Now, you know consciously that you're not going

to die. If you go and, you know, decide to try to make a hundred thousand dollars a year, $200,000, you're not going to die, obviously, but your brain, the amygdala, the old part of your brain, the animalistic part of your brain says, we've never done that before. And if there's something out there that brings variables that creates fear, because we want to make sure that we're safe because that's all your your brain is designed to do is keep you safe. So what do we do? We've got to stop listening to our brain. What do we have to listen to? We have to listen to our gut feeling. You know, if you look at your brain versus your gut, I always say your gut is your emotional compass. Your emotional compass says, oh my God, I should do this, right? I'll give you the perfect

example. So often, you've heard me talk about it a lot lately. I just love talking about cold showers because it's literally, it brings everything to the surface. So many people go, oh yeah, like I feel like I should definitely do this cold shower thing. I feel like I should jump into this freezing cold pool. But fuck that. I don't want to do that. Why?

Because there's the brain that's like cold, fear, you're going to die, hypothermia, not going to work. This isn't comfortable. This isn't fun. This isn't something we want to do. It's your brain versus your gut. Your gut knows what you should do. Your brain tries to talk you out of everything. How many times have you had the gut feeling of, yeah, I should definitely do this thing. Or actually, how many times have you had the gut feeling of, I definitely shouldn't do this thing, but it makes sense in your head and you do it anyways. And then you realize why you had the gut feeling, why you shouldn't have done it. Can you think about that? Everybody out there, think about one moment where you knew you shouldn't have done something. There

was a feeling inside of your core, but you're like, I'm going to do it anyways, because it just, you know, logically makes sense. Maybe you're like, oh, I know this person doesn't seem like to be a good business partner, but logically it makes sense. Then you don't follow your gut. And what happens? You get kicked in the pants. You make a mistake. How many times you had the feeling of like, this logically doesn't make sense, but it

feels right. And you do it anyways. And then lo and behold, it ends up working out. Why? Because you are way more intelligent than you could possibly understand. And although your brain is super intelligent, your body and your gut feeling and the vibes you get, the vibrations that you get from other people and other things are something that you should pay attention to. And your gut feeling is what pays attention to those. So if you have a feeling of, I should go do this thing, I have a feeling that I should work my ass off and work really hard the first few months of the year. I should work out every single day for the next

three months, whatever it is. But your body's like, your brain's like, oh, I don't know about that. That doesn't sound like fun. I don't know if I want to do that. You probably shouldn't work out every single day because that's how you break something. And you probably should not do that because that sounds dangerous. Your brain tries to talk you out of everything. Your gut tries to get you into everything that will change your life. So you can have the gut feeling of, I should leave this cave. I should leave this cave that I've been stuck in for six months, a year, five years, 10 years. I feel it. I feel like I should. But the brain goes fear, fear, fear, fear, fear. It makes up all the reasons why you shouldn't, all of the reasons why you shouldn't, all of the reasons why you shouldn't. And you either listen to that part of you and stay in

the exact same position that you're in, or you say, you know what? I'm done with it. I'm not going to listen to it. I know what I need to do and I need to push myself and push myself and push myself and push myself consistently because that's how you create a brand new comfort zone is you have to push yourself past the point that you think that you can. Not only are you way smarter than you think that you are, but you're also capable of so much more than you think that you are as well. And that's the thing that's scary about it is it's like the phrase, it's not our darkness that scares us the most, it's our light.

What scares us the most is I don't know what that amazing side of me looks like and that scares me. What I do know is how this decent, pretty good, kind of mediocre side of me is and I do know how that is and it's a comfort zone and I at least know I'm gonna be safe there and at least I'm gonna be okay and I have a predictable that is and it's a comfort zone and I at least know I'm going to be safe

there and at least I'm going to be okay and I have a predictable outcome and a predictable future. But if I go the other way and I try to create the best year of my life, I don't know what's going to happen. And so what happens? We stay in the exact same position. Instead of pushing ourselves day and day and day and day out, day and day out, day and day out, day and day out, until we break out of our comfort zone. And the way I like to explain it, the easiest way to day and day and day and day out, day and day out, day and day out, day and day out until we break out of our comfort zone. And the way I like to explain it, the easiest way to explain it to people is this. If you imagine, you've heard me say this possibly, if you imagine a rubber band, I'm pulling a rubber band. I pull it, I pull it, I pull it, I pull it, I pull it. That's how people

usually push themselves and push themselves. And then they kind of give up. They kind of just let themselves go. And then the rubber band, what happens when you start to let go of it? It goes back to the size that it was before. It goes back to the size it was before you pulled it. But what if you pull the rubber band and pull the rubber band and pull it and pull it and pull it and pull it and pull it and pull it and pull it and pull it and pull it? It's eventually going to snap. And when that snaps, you can never put that rubber band back together. That's what you have to do with a comfort zone is you have to be consistent. You heard me say it a couple episodes ago. Consistency, consistency, day in, day out.

If you follow me on Instagram, you've seen me. It's getting to the point where it's getting pretty ridiculous how often I'm in my freaking freezing cold pool, but it's every single day. I can't miss a day because I have to stay consistent because I'm trying to break the part of me that's holding me back from even more greatness that I know is inside of me. That's what's important is to make a plan starting January 1st saying, starting January 1st, I'm going to do this, this, this, this, this every single day. Even if it's just one thing, every single day, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do it for 60 days.

I'm going to do it for 30 days. I'm going to do it for 90 days, 45 days, whatever it is. Figure it out. And you have to consistently do it because you're consistently pulling yourself and pulling yourself and pulling yourself and pulling yourself until, like the rubber band, it breaks. And when it breaks, it'll never go back to the same size. That's one of the beautiful things about pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. I always say the mind is like, it's like a plastic bag.

If you've ever taken a plastic bag and you try to pull a plastic, don't even try to pull it so it breaks, just pull it a little bit. Once you pull it, it will never go back to the size that it was before. And that's how your brain is. But the problem is, how often are you actually pushing yourself? How often are you actually finding your boundaries? How often are you doing the things that make you uncomfortable? How often are you staying consistent? How often are you following through on doing all the things that you say you're going to do? You got to think about it. You know what

you need to do to change your life. It's not rocket science. That's the funny thing about it. People are always like, I need to read another book about how to be successful. No, you need to do to change your life. It's not rocket science. That's the funny thing about it. People are always like, I need to read another book about how to be successful. No, you need to work. You're like, I need to read another book about mindset. No, you need to work. People are like, I need to, how many people do you know? How many people have you seen on TV where you're like, this guy's a millionaire. This guy's a freaking idiot. It's not because of intelligence. It's because of work ethic. They push yourself outside of their comfort zone. They did it every day, every day, every day, every day until something snapped. So what does that look like for you? When are you going to change? Are you going to finally make the decision that 2021 is going to be the absolute best year of your life?

Are you? I'm going to let you in on a secret And I'm going to talk more about this, but I just, I haven't even told many people at all. My goal for 2021 is I want to live every single day as if I know I'm going to die December 31st, 2021. That's what my goal is. My goal is to live every single day as if I know I'm going to die. That's how I'm going to live. I'm going to live this year as if I'm sure it's the last year that I'm going to be alive. Hopefully it's not, but shouldn't we all kind of do that? Should we try to do that? I'm going to talk more about this in another episode, but shouldn't that be something that we do? Like if you knew that you're going to be dying, I don't want to give too much away on an episode that's coming up,

but if you knew that you were going to die, wouldn't you do some shit differently? If you knew that you didn't have another at bat, wouldn't you do some stuff differently? You would, right? So my challenge to you is to find the edge of your comfort zone and lean into it. Just give a little, give a little nudge, give a little nudge. See what that feels like. Do it every day. Push yourself, push yourself, push yourself. And I want to ask you this question. If you did one thing every single day for the first 30 days of the year, what would it be? If you did one thing every single day for the first 30 days of the year, what would it be? I want you to figure that out right now. I want you to jot it down. And my challenge for you is to do that every single day starting January 1st. So that's what I

got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love. Please put on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. And if you're interested in pushing yourself for the first 30 days of the year, join my Iron Mind 30 Challenge. Over the course of 30 days, myself and a group of hundreds of people are going to be pushing ourselves every single day for the first 30 days of the year to create a new comfort zone, to create a new normal, to break through what we see as our normal self. And every single day, I'm going to be coaching you inside of a private Facebook group. And the good thing about it is, is it's a two for one special right now. So if you join right now, you will be able to bring in a free person with you for the same price as it would be for one. So that's the amazing thing about it. So if

you want to join, go to ironmind30.com, ironmind30.com. Join us. There's literally a video about 10 minutes long that explains every single detail of it. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.