The Mindset Mentor - Where Are You Going?

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. If you're out there and you love this podcast, please do me a favor, give us a rating and review. The more positive rating reviews that we get, the more that they actually show this platform, show this podcast people have never listened to before. So if you want to help us grow and you want to help us impact more lives, just give us a rating and review. I would greatly appreciate it. Today, I'm going to be talking about where you're going. I'm going to be talking about how to turn your life around no matter where you are. I don't care where you're like.

Starting point is 00:00:41 In fact, if I'm being like fully transparent, I don't really care where your life is right now, whether it is amazing or whether it's complete shit, doesn't really matter. What I'm more worried about and what I care more about is where you're going. Like what direction your life is heading in, because you could have like a terrible past. You could have not the best circumstances right now, but if you are heading in the right direction, you will eventually get where you're trying to go. And we're going to talk about that today. We're going to talk about where you're going, but most importantly, how to actually get there.

Starting point is 00:01:13 And I'm going to talk about this first. The first thing I want to say is that we live in a world where I think it's getting harder and harder and harder to be patient. It's really hard to be patient nowadays. And the reason why is because we expect everything to happen right away. Like if I have any question in the entire world, I can just literally Google it. Hey, how fast is the speed of light? And immediately I know exactly how fast the speed of light is. When I was a kid, that wasn't an option. Like we would have to go to the library.

Starting point is 00:01:42 I'd have to ride my bicycle to the library and hope that when I got there, the right encyclopedia was there. And if it wasn't, I would never know how fast the speed of light is. Now it's like, I have a question. I have an answer. I have a question. I have an answer. If I want something, I go on Amazon. There's a lot of times I can get it delivered today. If I want to get to someplace and I don't want to drive, I can literally hire a taxi basically and have an Uber or a Lyft arrive at my house within the next like five minutes. If I'm hungry, I don't even have to get my ass off the couch. I can literally just order some food and get food delivered to my house and not have to go anywhere. If I don't want to go into the grocery store because I never,

Starting point is 00:02:19 ever want to go in any grocery stores, I just have my groceries delivered to me. And that's just set up that way. Like every morning I just wake up and the food delivery is already there. It's wild. And so we're actually starting to train ourselves to want things immediately. And I think this is why so many people are sad that they don't have the success they want because they think they're going to work for four days and they're going to have the success they want. Like how ridiculous is that to think, you know what? I'm going to work for four days and they're going to have the success they want. Like how ridiculous is that to think, you know what, I'm going to work for four days and then I'm going to have a million dollar business. Like it doesn't work that way. There are some things

Starting point is 00:02:51 that the convenience of Google, the convenience of Amazon, Uber are just not going to be able to help us with. Like I can't just go on Amazon and just get in overnight shipping a million dollar business. It doesn't happen that way. Great things take time to build the body that you want. You can't just walk into the gym and think that you're going to leave the gym with a six pack. It doesn't work that way. Like there are things that just take time. It's like going, oh, she's pregnant. Could we hurry this up? Could we get it done in the next three months? No, you can't. You've got to wait for great things take time. Creating a baby takes time.

Starting point is 00:03:30 Creating a six pack takes time. Creating a million dollar business takes time. But we're starting to be trained more and more and more to expect things immediately. And that's just not the way that the world really actually works. That's the way that the internet has provided us the convenience for a lot of things. But don't misconstrue convenience for the way that the entire world works. You know, if you think about like a hundred years ago, if you wanted some strawberries a hundred years ago, you would have to go buy the seeds. Hopefully whatever grocery store you went to or whatever place it was had the seeds. Let's say not even a hundred years ago.

Starting point is 00:04:04 Let's say 300 years ago you wanted strawberries just because there were probably grocery stores a hundred years ago. Let's say 300 years ago, you wanted strawberries. You'd have to go and see if you could find strawberry seeds. You would have to wait for the right time of year to plant your strawberry seeds. You would have to plant your strawberry seeds. You would have to water them. You'd have to take care of them for a few months. You'd have to make sure they get the right amount of sun. And hopefully in these few months that you're trying to grow these strawberries, I mean, you've been waiting like six months for the right time of year. You've planted them. It's been a couple months for them to start growing. Hopefully another animal doesn't come and eat them before you do, like right before they start to ripen.

Starting point is 00:04:45 Now I can literally sit on my couch, have a craving for strawberries, go on my iPhone, order them, and some dude named Travis, who's a student at the local university, will deliver them to my front door and my big ass doesn't even have to get off the couch, right? Like it's pretty crazy if you think about it. So it used to take a long time, like going and getting strawberry seeds, getting the strawberries to grow, waiting for the right time of year, all of which took months and months and months. Now it's just like, I get them delivered to the door and I'm like, hmm, that was, that took too long. Oh my gosh, these aren't as ripe as I wanted them to be. Like, and we could complain about the fact that we literally, like magic just happened. I just got strawberries delivered to my door and that's what I wanted. It didn't used to be that way,

Starting point is 00:05:27 but we've been indoctrinated to believe that everything happens this way. And we've been indoctrinated to have instant gratification, but we can't have instant gratification for everything because that's not the way that most things work. Birthing a child. Like I said, imagine a husband going up and being like, hey, honey, like I would like to go, can we like speed this process up if we could just like, I know the baby's supposed to take nine months to be ready, but like, do you think maybe you could try to speed it up when you're done in three so we can take a vacation by the end of the year? You'd be like, this guy must be insane. Why is it any different with a business? Why is it any different with the fitness that you want? Why is it any different with the relationship? All of these things take time. And today I'm going

Starting point is 00:06:12 to talk to you about why the direction that you're heading in is way more important than the speed that you're going at because everybody wants speed immediately, right? We see these people that are like 27 years old, like this random, like completely out of the ordinary kid builds an app and becomes a billionaire in like six months. That's not normal, right? That's just not normal. Is it happen? Sure. Could happen to us? Maybe, but I don't have an idea that's that good. So, so many people get an idea for a business. They start the business. Maybe they do a little bit of research. They put in some work. And three months later, they're pissed off that they're not doing a million dollars a month yet. And they're just like, this must not have been

Starting point is 00:06:54 the right business. Or maybe I'm just not that good of a business person. I'll just go back to my nine to five. No, that's just not how business works. You know, it usually just doesn't blow up like that. Do some companies, like the unicorn companies, sure, but it takes time. Like if I look at my business, right? If I would have given up in three months, I would have never grown my business. It took me three and a half years for my business to first hit its first million dollars.

Starting point is 00:07:21 Right? What if I would have given up in the beginning because I was like, it must not be right. Yeah, I must not be good enough. I'm not smart enough. It's like I constantly, the older that I get, the more the Tony Robbins phrase, people underestimate what they could do in a year. They overestimate what they can do in a year, but they underestimate what they can do in a decade. So let me say that again. People overestimate what they can do in a year, but they underestimate what they can do in a decade. So let me say that again. People overestimate what they can do in a year, but they underestimate what they could do in a decade. They think that things are going to happen quicker than they're supposed to. But when you

Starting point is 00:07:55 look at the next 10 years, it's usually a lot bigger than you actually thought it could be. Like now my business, we're seven and a half years into it. And I like, I really get that phrase. I really get that phrase now. Did I want to run a million dollar business when I first started it? Sure. But just like the strawberries, it takes time to grow. There's mistakes that need to be had. There's things that have to happen in this world. There's knowledge that I have to get into my brain. There's things that I have to fuck up really bad in order to not do that again. Like there's things I have to learn. And everybody wants like, I keep using the business as an example, everybody wants a successful business. But if you look at like, a lot of people look at like, the first person

Starting point is 00:08:33 that pops in my head is Andy Fursella, right? Andy Fursella runs a hundred million dollar year company right now. But if you listen to his story, he barely broke even for the first two years and him and his brother slept in their warehouse because they couldn't afford rent. Right? Everybody sees a hundred million dollar business. They're like, I want that. I want that. Very few people are willing to work, barely break even, and also sleep inside of the warehouse for two years. But they have to put in the work. They have to put in all of the groundwork and all of the hard work in order for it to become like, you've got to have for him, in his case, in the way that his company matured,

Starting point is 00:09:07 he had to have those two years of sleeping in the warehouse in order to build a hundred million dollar business. So it really comes down to like, how bad do you want it? If people overestimated they could do in a year, but they underestimated they could do in a decade, are you willing to go this business I'm starting today, I'm going to put 10 years into it. Are you? That's the mindset that you have to have. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. When you're at your best, you can do great things, but sometimes life gets you bogged down and you may feel overwhelmed or you may not be showing up in the way that you know you want to. Working with a therapist can help you get closer to the best version of you because when you feel empowered,

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Starting point is 00:11:53 I said, I'm not focusing on this year. I'm focusing on what we're going to be doing in 10 years. And that's the actual vision that I'm trying to work off of. I'm not going to make little tiny decisions of like, oh, we can make money here and we can do this. It's like, no, where are we going? Where do I want to be in 10 years? What's the direction that we're heading? And I want to take actions that are in line with that. And so it comes back to how bad do you really want it? Like you have to realize it's going to take time. Slow and steady wins the race. So many people are the hare nowadays. I just want to be the tortoise. Like I'm just going to slow and steady win the race. I used to love tortoise and the hare when I was a kid. And so I think it's just ingrained into me of like slow and steady wins the race, slow and steady. Like I will just, I made up my mind years ago. I will just outlast everybody.

Starting point is 00:12:35 That's just what I'm okay with doing. Could I go and try to speed things up? Maybe. Is it going to work out the way I want to? Maybe, maybe not, but I'm cool with slow and steady wins the race. I'm just focusing on the direction that I'm heading. And if I'm heading in the right direction, no matter how fast I'm going, eventually I'm going to get there. And if you just don't stop, you can't fail. Like what's crazy is that so many people are afraid of failing. Like they start a business and then they become afraid of failing at that business. a business. And then they become afraid of failing at that business. So they close the business down. And I'm like, wait, so you were afraid of failing. So you failed faster. Like that doesn't make any sense in my head. You were afraid of failing. So what you did was you took all of the wrong actions so that, or, and shut it down so that you would then fail faster. So this thing that

Starting point is 00:13:20 you're afraid of, you created quicker. Now, if you just don't give up, that's impossible to fail at something. If you just continue to build the business, you will eventually have a successful business. Could the business suck for two, three, four years? It could. Could it take off year seven? It could. Could it take off month seven? It could. I don't know how long the universe has decided that it's going to take for you to get XYZ Y, Z, whatever it is, but as long as you're heading in the right direction, you will eventually get there. So we talk about time and how long things can take. That's why I don't really care about the speed that you're going, right? So let's talk about where you are going, because that's the most important part of everything. Because if you're heading the right direction and you don't stop, eventually you're going to get there. It just makes sense.

Starting point is 00:14:10 If I live in Miami and I decide that I'm going to just start walking north on I-95, eventually I'm going to end up in Jacksonville. It's just the way it goes. Could I get there faster? Sure. Could I take a bike? Could I take a car? Can I take a plane? Yeah. But sometimes bike, car, and plane don't exist when you're building a business, when you're building a great relationship, when you're raising great children. Sometimes these things just take time to mature. And it's kind of like God and the universe has its own time that things will happen. I've just got to make sure that myself, I'm taking the right action and I'm heading in the right direction. So, because if you think about it, like I said, if you just are heading in the right direction, you just don't stop, eventually you're going to get there. So where are you going in your life? Do you know? Do you know

Starting point is 00:14:59 where you want your life to be? Like a lot of times I'll sit down with people and I'll say, so what do you want in life? And they're like, oh, well, you know, I don't want, I don't want this and I don't want this and I don't want this. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't ask what you don't want. I want to know what you want. And they're like, okay, what do I want? Well, I do want this and I do want this and I don't want this and I don't want this and

Starting point is 00:15:18 I don't want this. And I'm like, hold on. How do we get back onto what you don't want? I don't give a damn about what you don't want. I want to know what you want. So many people are just not clear on exactly what it is that they want in life. And then they get pissed off. They don't get it. It's like, it's in the Bible, I think, right? Asking you shall receive. Are you just asking for what you want? Like, are you very clear on what it is that you

Starting point is 00:15:35 want and asking for it and working towards it and heading in the right direction every single day? So like, what are your goals for the next year? What are your goals for the next five years, for the next 10 years? Like, have you sat down with a pen and paper and actually written down what it is that you want? What do I want? What do I want to be? Who do I want to be? What do I want the people in my life to look like? How do I want to serve? What do I want the people in my life to be? Who do I want to be surrounded by? How much money do I want to make? Where do I want to live? Who do I want to marry? Do I want kids? How many kids? What do I want my kids to be like? How do I want to treat my family? And you start getting really clear on what it is that you're trying to create. And you get really clear. And

Starting point is 00:16:13 after you get really clear on where you're going, then what you need to do is you need to make a plan of how to actually get there. Like with pen and paper, not in your own freaking head. The amount of people that try to plan out their lives and figure out what they want in their heads is crazy. It doesn't make any sense. Only 3% of people write down their goals. 97% of people either don't set goals or they don't write them down. How are you going to plan out your entire life and what you want without writing it down? Do you have a plan where you want to go? I always love to give this example, right? So the immediate thing that pops in my head is this, you know, let's say we're in Miami again and we have decided to charter a boat and this boat is going to take us over to the Bahamas, right? And you can go from Miami to

Starting point is 00:16:56 the Bahamas. It's not too long of a ride. It's like a couple hours. Let's say we, you know, sun's coming up. It's a beautiful day. We're walking out to all of the boats and we asked the captain, Hey, where are we going? And he's like, Oh, we're, we're going in, uh, that, that direction over there. And you're like, what, what direction? He's like, Oh, that, that direction over. And he's kind of moving his finger around. We're moving in that direction. Okay. Um, how long is it going to take? Oh, it should take between like, it should take like a couple hours, a few hours, maybe two to three hours. And you're like, okay, what are the seas like? He's like, oh, actually, I don't know. I haven't checked the seas today. So you don't know what the weather's like? No, I'm not really sure what the seas are like. I don't know what the weather's

Starting point is 00:17:37 like. And you're like, okay, would you feel confident hopping into a boat with a captain going from Florida, Miami, over to the Bahamas? If he doesn't know where he's going, he doesn't know like how long about it might take. He doesn't know what the seas are looking like, the weather's looking like, any of that stuff. Would you actually have that guy take you across? Hell no, you wouldn't because you'd probably capsize and end up on the bottom side of that boat when it's flipped over and hope that the Coast Guard comes and gets you, right? It's wild. And so would you feel more confident if you sat down and you said with the captain, hey, where are you going? And he's like, oh, we're going to be

Starting point is 00:18:12 heading that direction east and a couple of degrees off to the side. So we're basically going this direction. Cool. How long is it going to take? About an hour and 15 minutes if we're heading at 30 knots. Okay, cool. What's the weather look like? Oh man, it's perfect weather. It's going to be perfect weather. You might as well just crack open a beer. Seas are real small. There's no rain, nothing like that. It's going to be a great ride over. What song do you want to listen to? I'd be like, yeah, that's the captain I'd rather go with, right? Like that's, it's funny because you can see that, but how many of you living your life, listening to my voice around or living your life, like the very first example of the captain, it's like, we're just going to go somewhere that direction. How's it going to take? I don't know. What's the season look like? I don't know. Like no direction. Just going with whatever

Starting point is 00:18:55 life throws at you, just going with the winds and going with the tides, right? Like you have to know where you want to go. You have to know where you're going. You have to know what it's going to take to get there. And then after this, after you figure out where you want to go. You have to know where you're going. You have to know what it's going to take to get there. And then after this, after you figure out where you want to go and you've created a plan, you make check-ins with yourself. You make a daily check-in and you make a weekly check-in. And all I care about is that today you're making the right, I don't give a, I don't give a damn about tomorrow. Tomorrow does not matter at all to me. And it shouldn't matter to you. What I care about today is did I take one step in the right direction, right? Tomorrow, all I care about is did I take the next step in the right direction? If I'm walking from

Starting point is 00:19:29 Miami to Jacksonville and I go one step at a time, as long as I'm taking the right steps and I'm taking the steps in the first place, but I'm taking the right steps in the right direction, eventually I'm going to get there. And you have to realize you will mess up. You're going to screw up all the time. As I like to tell everybody that joins my programs, like we teach coaches how to grow coaching businesses, right? What I say is the first month, just fuck it up and figure it out. Just be okay with fucking everything up, right? It's not about being perfect. It's about getting more tally marks in the win category than the loss category. You know, are you going to wake up every single morning on time? No. Are you going to hit the snooze button sometimes? Yes. But are

Starting point is 00:20:08 you waking up earlier more than you're not waking up? That's what matters. Are you heading in the right direction? Because your direction is so much more important than your speed. And if you can remind yourself of that and to remind yourself to keep heading in the right direction, eventually you'll get to where you're trying to go. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

The Mindset Mentor - Where Are You Going?

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