The Mindset Mentor - Where you’re messing up in your self development.
Episode Date: December 7, 2023Looking for a way to make your life easier and less stressful? Look no further! In this video, I'll be sharing a game-changing secret that will transform the way you approach success. Life can be toug...h, but with this powerful strategy, you'll be able to overcome any obstacle and achieve the life you've always dreamed of. 📺 Watch this Episode on Youtube If you like this episode… Make sure to share it with someone that needs to hear it and help us get the message out there so that together we can help make people’s lives better and make the world a better place. And BY THE WAY:My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.Within its pages, you'll discover powerful insights and practical steps that will revolutionize the way you approach your goals, personal motivation, and mental focus.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/book Here are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@robdial?lang=enFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/themindsetmentee/Or visit my Youtube page that is designed specifically for anyone desiring motivation, direction, and focus in life: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHl3aFKS0bY0d8JwqNysaeA Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube
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Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast, the number one mindset podcast in the
entire world. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button
so that you don't ever miss another episode of this podcast. And if you love this podcast and
you want to receive from some motivational texts,
inspirational texts, and you live in the United States or Canada, text me right now, 512-580-9305.
Once again, 512-580-9305. And I'll just kind of send you some love every once in a while
throughout the week. Today, we're going to be talking about a simple secret to getting better
and what really the core of self-development is.
And before we dive into it, I've been on this self-development journey now since 2006. What
are we, 17, 18 years at this point? And I want to be real with you. Life can be really hard.
Let's just be real. Life is amazing. It's torture sometimes. It's beautiful, it's fun, it can suck, but it can be really fucking hard
sometimes. And more than anything else, it is a journey that we're on. And throughout this journey,
we do some things right, we do some things wrong, we get better, we take a step forward,
we take two steps back, all of that. But at some point, all of us, everyone listening to this podcast and myself included, at some point, we all get to the point where we wake up. We have woken up in some sort
of way. And we look around our lives and we think about our lives and we realize that there is more
for us in some sort of way. There's more for us. There's more happiness. There's more joy. There's
more money. There's more peace. There's more for us to be able to, there's more experiences. There's more for us. There's more happiness. There's more joy. There's more money.
There's more peace.
There's more for us to be able to, there's more experiences.
There's more traveling.
There's more everything.
And we look at what we currently have and we say, there's more for me.
And if I want more, I have to be the person to work on myself.
If I want more of the good things and less of the bad things, less of the stress, less of the anxiety. If I want more, we get to the point where we realize
I have to be different. We discover that we have to evolve. And I use the word evolve very
specifically. I don't want to use the word become better because actually when I wrote out this
podcast, I wrote this bullet point. I put become better. And then I deleted it and actually wrote must evolve. Because better for
me to think to myself right now for you to think to yourself right now, I must become better.
Better implies worse, which means that as you currently are, there's something wrong with you,
you're currently worse. You're not worse. You're not there's nothing wrong with you as you currently
are, you are exactly where you need to be the exact moment. But what you need to do is you need to evolve. You're either green or
growing or you're brown and dying. And we need to be green and growing or else we're not going
anywhere. We're stagnant. Now I don't know about you, I don't want to feel stagnant in my life.
But we want, if we want to have more joy, more money, more love, more peace, more happiness,
more everything, then we know that we must evolve as people. And when you first start on the journey of
self-development, it's exciting. You're like, I can't wait to improve myself. I can't wait to
evolve. I can't wait to get more, to have more fun, to have more money, to buy more cool shit,
to have more happiness, to have more love, to be a better person. And then what happens is
you go from this moment of living your entire life mostly unaware and having almost no self-awareness
to now transitioning to this moment of having self-awareness. And what that self-awareness
really truly is, is you are now self-aware of all of the shit that needs to change and all of the stuff that
needs to go and all of the stuff that needs to evolve. And you start seeing all of your flaws
and the things that you need to work through and all of that. And you're like, oh my God,
it's too much. This is a lot. And what happens is you go from being unconscious and unaware of
yourself to now being aware and seeing all of your flaws and sometimes judging yourself and
shaming yourself and guilting yourself. And now when you screw up, you're aware of that screw up and think to
yourself, man, I was aware of this. I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have fallen into this
pit because I know I do this. And the way I like to think about it is there's a Buddhist metaphor
and they basically say, like, imagine that you're at your grandparents' house, right?
And your grandparents haven't opened the attic in 30 years. And you decide that you want to go into the attic and you go up into the attic and you
look and there's a mirror that you see in the attic and the mirror is just covered in dust.
And you want to see how clear this mirror is. You want to see yourself in the mirror.
So you take your hand and you start brushing away all of the dust. And as you're brushing
away all of this dust to see yourself, there's all of this dust that comes into your face and you're coughing and you're sneezing.
And all of this dust is coming up in order for you to see your true self. That metaphor is basically
the example of in order to, you've gone through this life unconscious to a lot of different
things. But really what happens is now you're wanting to see your true
self. And in order to see your true self, you have to get rid of all the stuff that is not you,
all of the dust. And in fact, I want you to realize this, all of that stuff that's coming
up, all the things that you're now aware of, I want you to understand this. There is nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. The
journey that you are on in your life is perfect for you. It is absolutely perfect. Your life is
a perfectly crafted curriculum for you to go through what you need to go through to learn whatever it is that you're here to learn
on this planet. Your journey is designed for you and is far more intelligent than you can
possibly understand. So I want you to understand that where you are is perfect. And in the
circumstance you are currently in is absolutely perfect for you. But where I see a lot of people go wrong,
and this is where I went wrong for years, probably about a decade, and this is the really,
really big secret that I'm going to share with you today on self-development and improving yourself
and becoming the more evolved version of yourself. Where I see most people go wrong and where I went
wrong for decades is trying to add things.
So we think, I want to improve myself. I need to add new habits. I need to make sure that I
wake up at 5 a.m. every single day and have 40 things to do on my morning routine checklist.
And I need to go to the store and I need to buy every single self-help book that I possibly can and read the
first 12 pages and then go to the next one and read another 12 or 13 pages and then go to another
one, never fully actually finish a page. And I need to go to conferences and I need to do all
of these are great. I mean, I've done all of them. I've done the morning routines, the checklist,
the prior read 400 self-development or business books or mindset books or neurology books
in my lifetime. And all of it is great and all of it's important. But I want to tell you that
the secret to self-development that took me over a decade to realize is that self-development
is not about addition. Self-development is about subtraction. And I didn't know this for years.
I didn't know it. It's subtracting all of the things from your life
before adding anything else to it.
And what I want you to realize is that
when you look at it and you think about this,
you realize self-development is about subtraction.
You start asking yourself, what do I need to subtract?
I didn't know this for years, a decade.
I had way more knowledge than I ever had.
I had all these books that I read. I had done all kinds
of stuff, but I felt the same inside of myself. And the secret to self-development is doing less.
It's removing things from your life before you add anything to your life. I didn't know this
for a very long time. And so you look at your life and you say, well, I want to evolve, aka get better. I want to get better in some sort of way. And once again, I'm using that
lightly because once again, better implies worse, but I want to get better. I want to evolve. I want
to become a different version of myself. What are the things that I need to do? And we start thinking
about the stuff we need to add to our lives and the new habits and the new
working out every single day and all the stuff we need to do. And in reality, the very first
thing we need to do is remove a lot of shit from our lives. And we need to basically pull the weeds.
It's like you're walking up to a garden, you know, if you're 27 years old, 37 years old,
and you're listening to this, let's say you're 37 and you're now becoming aware of
yourself and starting to work on yourself. It's like you have a garden that's been sitting there
by itself for 37 years. If you're going to try to create a brand new perfect garden in that place,
what do you have to do first? You have to pull out 37 years of weeds. And so another way of
thinking about it is like when your computer gets a virus and it
has a virus, you don't add a bunch of programs to it and hope that those programs remove
the virus.
No, what do you do?
You say, oh my gosh, my computer has a virus.
You try to identify the virus and then remove the virus as quick as possible so that the
computer can get back to its normal working order.
It's the same thing for you. You need to remove the viruses from your mind. You need to remove
the viruses from your life. You need to uninstall the programs that are holding you back from being
the person that you could possibly be. And I'm going to say something that's really surprising,
I think, to some people. And some of you are going to question whether there's the
validity of it. But success is not hard. It's not. I struggled for years to try to get to what I
thought successful means. And whatever success means to you, it could be business, it could be
money, it could be marriage, it could be relationship with your children, all of that stuff.
Whatever success means to you, and success can mean all of those things. None of them are hard. Success is not hard. I want you to understand
this. As a human on this earth, as a living, breathing, sentient being, success and all that
it is, is natural. To be a human means to think something and to be able to create into reality.
a human means to think something and to be able to create into reality. That is what is natural for us. But you have too many shitty programs running that it's in the way of everything.
And this is what I came to realize for years is that I was trying to force my way and white
knuckle my way and put 110 hours a week into being successful when really I just had to take a step
back, ask myself if I was in alignment
with my true purpose and what I felt like I should be doing and doing what gave me energy
and then going down that road. Success is natural for you. The problem is in order to get there,
we have to remove all of the shit that's in the way. There's something incredibly powerful inside
of you that you are keeping covered up. And for years, you've unconsciously been doing this, but you have
to remove these things. And as you start to find these things that need to be removed,
I promise you this, it doesn't feel powerful at first. You start noticing these things,
you start feeling at first when you're starting to work these, you're not feeling powerful,
you're feeling angry, you're feeling frustrated. You're feeling sadness.
You're feeling anxiety.
You're feeling all the stuff that's in the way and that is in the way and that is blocking
you.
And all of that stuff are the things that you need to remove in order to make yourself
be more in alignment and make everything much easier in your life.
Your power is covered up with all of your programmings from your
childhood, all of your conditionings from your childhood, all of your dogmas that you've picked
up in your lifetime, all of these beliefs that you're trying to believe into being true, but
they really don't hold a whole lot of weight. Beliefs in yourself, beliefs in everything that's
around you, beliefs in other people. If you could understand how powerful you are,
it would blow your mind. But you have all of this shit that is in the way and that is blocking you
from your potential. The way I like to think of it is this, and I gave this example a few months
ago, but I like to think of it like a river that's flowing. If you've ever seen a nice,
calm, peaceful river just flowing, that's like your life. And to jump in that is to just basically
be in the flow of life. If you've heard that phrase, to be in flow, to be in the flow of life.
But when you have all of these things that you think about yourself, these negative beliefs,
these negative patterns of talking to yourself, these people who talk down to you, toxic
environments that you're stuck in, this job that you hate, you're basically taking a boulder and
you're putting it in the river. And when you take enough boulders and you put it into a river, what happens?
It becomes whitewater rapids and it becomes insane. It becomes crazy. It becomes
just shit everywhere is basically what it becomes, right? And so it becomes for this nice,
peaceful river to, you might drown in this river. And each boulder that you put in is just some
belief that you're holding onto about yourself. And so it's really not about doing more.
It's about doing less.
It's about removing all of those boulders from your life.
And when I say doing less, I mean way less of what you've been doing.
Way less.
I don't mean sit around on the couch and do nothing.
Now, if you're sitting around on the couch and you're meditating for an extra four hours a day,
I think that's a great way to use your time. But I'm going to assume that most people listening
to this podcast are not doing that. I'm not saying, oh, you need to do less and then you
need to spend more time on Instagram. But I mean, doing less of the things that are holding you back,
doing way less of what you've been doing, doing way less of what you've been thinking,
having way less of what you believe about the world and about yourself. And what's really crazy is as you start doing less of those things, you start getting
more. You start getting more peace, more happiness, more joy. Success kind of seems to flow to you.
You get people, opportunities, places, things that come into your life that are just fully aligned
and feel right in your life that you just were kind of energetically blocking for years. You get things that you never thought
you could possibly have that are just kind of effortlessly flowing to you. And you need to
really self-analyze and ask yourself, what do I need to do less of? You know, for each of these
things I'm about to tell you in a second, for each of these things, I want you to ask yourself,
is it helping me grow into who I want to be? And you start going through all these
different categories in your life and you start removing all of the things that are not helping
you grow into who you want to be. And so for instance, the thoughts in your head, are they
helping you grow into who you want to be? There are some thoughts that might be helping you grow
into who you want to be, but there might be some thoughts that are actually holding you back from being who you want to be. There's thoughts in your head where you're talking trash to yourself and you're not nice to yourself, whatever it might be. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not worthy of success. I'll never be successful because of X, Y, Z, because of what I look like, because of my gender, because of what people think about me, or because of where I grew up, because of my family.
think about me or because of where I grew up, because of my family. And there's all these thoughts in your head. You've got to ask yourself with those thoughts in your head,
are they helping me be who and grow into who I want to be? Then you got to look around you,
outside of you, the people that you surround yourself with. Are they helping you grow into
who you want to be? If they are, certain people, keep them. If they're not, maybe you need to take,
make a really tough decision around that. Think about spending time on your phone.
Is it helping you grow into who you want to be?
Who you follow on social media, spending time on TikTok, is that helping you grow into who
you want to be?
Or is that something that's just a boulder that needs to be removed?
The job you work, is that helping you grow into who you want to be?
Where you live, is that helping you go into where you want to be?
What you do in your downtime, is that helping you grow into who you want to be?
What you consume, whether it's food or drugs, is that helping you grow into who you want to be? What you do in your downtime, is that helping you grow into who you want to be?
What you consume, whether it's food or drugs, is that helping you grow into who you want to be?
The things that you do on your phone and the phone time that you have, are those helping you grow into who you want to be? Video games, is that helping you grow into who you want to be? Is
Netflix helping you grow into who you want to be? And I want you to understand that before any big
breakthrough, there must be some sort of a breakdown. Almost every single
time that I've seen myself and seen clients and people I've worked with over 17 years now have
some sort of big breakthrough, there's almost always a breakdown. And that breakdown can happen
to you just out of nowhere. And that was just something you're supposed to do. Or you can start
to break down pieces of your life. And you can start to say, this is no longer serving me. I'm not going to allow this to exist in my life anymore. And you start to break down pieces of your life and you can start to say, this is no longer serving me.
I'm not going to allow this to exist in my life anymore. And you start to break down things yourself to allow a breakthrough to start to come through. And I want to leave you with this
question and this thought. I guess it's a series of questions, but really just a series of questions
that are just a thought I want you to think about today. When you get done with today's podcast
episode, you can turn this off, sit in your car in silence for the rest of the drive and start to think about this. What if success was
effortless for you? What if it was? What if you are the one that is getting in the way of everything
that you want? What if this life doesn't have to be so much of a struggle? And what do you need to
do to be more in flow with your life and struggle much less?
So that's what I'm going to leave you with today.
That's what I got for you for today's episode.
If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it.
Rob Dial Jr.
R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R.
And once again, if you want to get some inspirational text messages from me sporadically throughout
the week, I'm going to send some love to your phone.
Text me right now if you're in the U.S. or Canada. It is 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305.