The Mindset Mentor - Who You Hang Out With...

Episode Date: January 18, 2019

Episode 535 - Did you know that you are the average of the 5 people that you spend the most time with? Who are those people and do you need to change your top 5? In this episode, I'll dive into this topic and teach you who the most important people to surround yourself with are. Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to the Mindset and Motivation Podcast, one of the top motivational podcasts in the world. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, we come out with a short, to the point, no BS episode to help make massive changes in your mind and transform you from who you are now to who you want to be. My name is Rob Dial, and the podcast starts now. What we're going to be talking about today is your network equaling your net worth. And I've done an episode of this a long, long time ago in the past, but I'm going to go more in depth than this. And the reason why is because I've gotten a lot of

emails of people saying, what do I do when my spouse does not like the same stuff that I do, or my spouse is negative, or my mom is negative, or my brother is negative, or my whoever it is, is negative. And I'm completely different. I want to grow. I want to become better. What do I do when I have those people in my life? And I want to tell you this, there's a couple different categories that we're going to go into as far as people. There's two main categories. Number one is negative influences in your life. And number two is positive influences in your life. And we're going to go over into categories of those. So not to make it too crazy, because it's really not that crazy, but there's two things we're going to go into. Negative influences, negative people in your life and positive influences, positive people in your life. Here's the deal. Who you spend time

with is who you will become. Let me say that again. Who you spend time with is who you will become. They always say that the five people that you spend the most time with is who you will become. They always say that the five people that you spend the most time with is what you'll be the average of. You're the average of the five people that you most spend the most time with. So what you have to ask yourself is what does my top five look like? If you guys remember Facebook or not Facebook, it was, uh, what was it? My space back in the day. And it was like your top five or your top eight or whatever it was. Those are the people that you were the quote unquote best friends with. if you had that for the people that you spend the most time with, who are your top five and what are they doing to either push you forward and propel you into becoming the better version of yourself? Or what are they

doing to actually keep you in the same spot? And if you keep it in the same spot, they're pretty much pulling you backwards. And so as far as negative influences, there's two different categories of people in negative influences. Number one is the people that you should disassociate with and the ones that you should have limited association with. And just so you know, this is something I got from the Compound Effect, this book that I am reading with my group coaching right now in our book club. And so I definitely recommend it. But number one, as far as the negative influences, disassociate. People that you need to disassociate with. If you have kids,

you guard your kids from who they hang out with. When I was younger, my mom saved us. My mom didn't like the people that we were around. When I was a little kid, when we lived in Tennessee and she told my dad at the time, she's like, we're leaving here because I do not like the people

that my son is being influenced by. And so we've moved from Tennessee down to be around her family in Florida, which was the best decision of her life and my life as well. But you guard your kids and who they hang out with. You don't let them hang out with bullies, the people who are the little kids that are smoking cigarettes on the corner or the ones that are breaking into places. So why don't you do the same for yourself?

You have to get rid of people in your life. People that bring you down. It is your life. You owe them nothing. You owe them nothing. I don't care who they are. If they're bringing you down constantly, you owe them nothing. Be with people who support you and bring you up. There's people in your life. If there's someone who's immediately popping in your head, when I say people that you need to disassociate with, you need to disassociate with them. There's people that are bringing you down. And if you're trying to go further along, you can't be dragging people with you. You're enough to deal with. You don't need other people to have to deal with. There's some people, no joke, I know that this works with you guys and it's happened with me before. It used to happen with me in the past and now I don't have these people around me anymore.

But whenever I'd be positive or driven, they would completely try to destroy my mindset or my happiness. And they're the people who always try to bring you down and talk about how terrible everything is and how terrible Obama is or how terrible Trump is or how terrible their wife is or their spouse or people or whoever the hell is out there. Police, all of those things. There's people in your life you need to disassociate with. You know who they are. Get rid of them. I'm going to put it that easily and not tough. Get rid of them now. So that's the first type of person under the negative influences. The second type of person is limited association. People that you need to spend less time with. A lot of people say, well, there's people in my family that I can't get rid of. Well, what I say to that is there's actually people in your family

that you need to have very limited association with. It is your life. If they are pulling you backwards, you need to get rid of them. Some of them, they might be family members. Some of them, you might be thinking about our old friends, right? Just because you have a past with people doesn't mean that you have to have a future or a very, um, you know, someone that you're with all the time in your future, just because you had a past with them. So there's people that you need to disassociate with and never see again, or see, you know, once a year, whatever it might be. There's also people that you need to have a limited association with people that you, you know, that you used to hang out with. And maybe they're just like a

three-minute conversation person now. Who are they? Think about this. This is important for your life. You owe them nothing once again. All right. So now that we talked about the negative people, let's talk about the positive people and the people that are going to make your life better. So here's the thing. There's three different types of people in the positive influences, the positive people category. Number one is expanded associations. These are people that you need to hang out with more. You look at them and you say, yes, this is a person that's going where I want to go. This is a person that's on the same road. This is a person who might be further ahead, but I want to become better friends with them. I want to invite them to dinner more often. I want to go get a drink with them more often. These are expanded associations,

people that you need to hang out with more. If you don't have a pen and paper and you're writing these people down, well, you know, if you're driving, obviously you don't need to do this, but I would get it to a point where you write these people down and start figuring out who you need to spend less time with, who you need to spend more time with. So you have expanded associations, people who bring you up, people who challenge you, who make you better, who make you think bigger, people who read the same stuff that you read, that do the same stuff that you do, that want to go into, they're building a future that's the future that you want, or they already have the future that you want. So that's the first type of person is

expanded associations. Number two is an accountability partner, someone to push you and someone to call you out on your BS. This person should know all of your goals. You should know all of their goals and you should talk to each other every day, multiple times a day, every other day, at least a few times a week. You need to find an accountability partner, someone that you could talk to, someone that pushes you and someone who does not allow you, someone that's going to literally be the kick in the butt that you need. That person that will call you out on your BS and you can go, yep, you're right. You need somebody because we

all know when you're in a relationship with somebody or that you're close to somebody, you have family and you tell them your goals and then you don't hit your goals. You're like, don't worry, honey. I still believe in you or whatever it might be. You need that accountability partner. It's like, Hey, you are being a pansy. Get up off the couch, stop eating bonbons and get your fricking life together. That's what you need in an accountability partner. So you have expanded associations. You have an accountability partner. And the next one is a mentor preferably i mean they could be if you could find a mentor that's unpaid cool perfect but if you can't find someone that you had if you're like man i just don't know who the mentor is find someone to pay money to and this

isn't just like just find some random person on the street and just give them money to talk to you this is someone who is already where you want to be. Someone that's further along than you. When I was 19 years old, you guys have all heard this story before. I paid $500 a month as a 19 year old back in, uh, what was this? This would have been 2000 and, um, 2005. I paid 19 as a 19 year old. I'd pay $500 a month to literally talk to somebody who was already where I wanted to be. Someone who was already making a hundred thousand dollars a year. I talked to him for 30 minutes once a week for two years. And within two years, I was making over a hundred thousand dollars as a 21 year old. That is what a mentor will do to you.

There's someone that you look at and you go, yes, that's where I want to be. Someone that's going to hold you even more accountable than just your accountability partner, but someone that's going to inspire you by able to talk to them. And what they're really going to do is shorten your learning curve by a lot. These people have probably been in the business for 10 years or 15 years or in the, you know, there there's so much further ahead than you in the same business or in the same mindset that you want or whatever it is. There's so much further ahead that just being around them will shorten your learning curve. So what took them 15 years to accomplish could

take you one to two years. That is why it is worth paying for someone to be your mentor. Someone who is further ahead of you that will save you time and will save you money in the long run. Remember this, who you spend time with is who you become. So you need to know that your network is your net worth. Your net worth when you, in the next 10 years is going to be determined by who you spend the most time with, because you are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. So let me go through the categories real quick again. There's the negative influences. There's two categories in here. People that you need to disassociate with completely, cut them off. You don't need to see them again. And then the limited association,

the people that you see at a family dinner once a year, whatever it might be, limited association. Disassociate and limited association. The positive influences, expanded associations, people who you need to spend more time with. There's the accountability partner, which is a second part. So expanded association is one. Accountability partner is a second part. And then a mentor. And if you can't find someone that is where you want to be, that is someone that's just nice and wants to be your mentor for free. Find someone to pay. I don't care who it is.

Someone that seems like they've been doing it for a while. Someone that's further ahead. Someone who has the mindset that you want. Someone that has the life that you want, the relationship that you want, the happiness that you want, the money that you want. That is who you need to find. Because once again, I'm going to leave you with this. Who you spend time with is who you need to find. Because once again, I'm going to leave you with this. Who you spend time with is who you become.

Who you spend time with is who you become. So with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. But before I do, if you got any sort of value in this, if every person would take this episode and share it with one person, our podcast would double in size overnight. So please do me a favor. If you got something from this or you've ever gotten something from this,

share this with someone that you love so that we can continue to impact the world. But make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day. Well, that's it for today's podcast. If you want the show notes for this episode, they can be found at MWFmotivation.com. Also, if you liked this episode, please spread the love and share it with a friend because it's our mission to help as many people as we can.

And to keep in touch, you can follow us on Instagram and Facebook. Both handles are at MWFmotivation with no spaces. Now you know what time it is. So go out and make your dreams a reality. Outro Music