The Mindset Mentor - Why You Don't Get What You Want

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I am your host Rob Dial and today we're going to be talking about why you don't get what you actually truly want in life. And I'm going to give you a real quick exercise and I want you to go through this with me to kind of put everything into perspective. I want you to take both your arms and put both your arms fully out all the way to the left, all the way to the right. And what I want you to do is imagine that on your left side is everything that you want, all your hopes, your dreams, your desires, the perfect health and relationship and all the money that you want and the friendships and the family and the cars and clothes, whatever it is that you might want and all the trips to South Africa or around

Starting point is 00:00:49 the world to Europe and taking your family with you. And on the right hand, what I want you to think is it's everything that you worry about. Everything that you have in your life that you, you know, you're worried about the coronavirus or your children getting sick or not having the money that you want to pay your bills and everything on the right is just your fears and everything that you're worried about as well. So on the left side is everything that you want and on the right side is everything that you're worried about.

Starting point is 00:01:19 Now, if you can only put energy into one of them, what are you actually putting energy to? I want you to look at your right hand. And when you're looking at your right hand, can you even see your left hand if you're looking at your right hand? So if you're focusing on your fears, the things that you don't want, that you don't want to get sick, you don't want to lose your job, you don't want to not be able to pay your bills, you don't want your family's health to be compromised. If you're looking at all of those things on the right, can you even see to the left? No, you can't. So you don't get what you want. You get what you put energy into. So if

Starting point is 00:01:56 you're putting all of your energy into your right hand and all of the things that you're afraid of and all of your fears, you're not going to be able to put any energy into your left hand, into everything that you do want, into the life that you want to create, into perfect health. Let me give you an example of what I mean. You know, a lot of people say, especially right now,

Starting point is 00:02:16 I don't wanna be sick. I don't want to get sick. Well, that means that you're looking at your right hand all the time. You know, I don't want to be sick. I don't want this to happen. I'm worried about my family's health. Well, instead of worrying and being anxious and sad and depressed or whatever it might

Starting point is 00:02:35 be about what could possibly happen, you're putting all of your energy to the right side. Why don't you look to the left side? Because what you truly actually want is you want great health. So instead of putting your energy into not getting sick, why don't we put all of your energy into perfect health? Instead of worrying about the fears of what could possibly happen and the sitting around and watching too much news and all of these fears that you have and the worries and the anxiety,

Starting point is 00:03:04 why not look at your left hand and think about creating perfect mindset? Why don't you start focusing on learning and growing? And instead of watching the news, you start reading books and start focusing on being a better parent. One of the questions I've been asked a lot, I was just on a Facebook live a little while ago. There's 1200 people on this Facebook live. And the reason why is because a lot of people are home right now. So they have a lot more free time to watch a Facebook live, biggest Facebook live I've ever ran. And a couple of people kept asking the same question. And I was also asked this yesterday as well. And the question was, I'm at home with my kids all day long now. How can I not let them make me mad?

Starting point is 00:03:48 how can I not let them make me mad? How can I, how can I be? So in essence, what are you, what you're actually trying to ask, you know, so instead of looking at the right hand is how can I not allow my children to piss me off? Instead of that question, you need to look at your left hand and say, how can I become a better parent through this? Right? Because essentially what you're trying to do is you're trying to become a better parent. So a lot of people are at home with their children and Hey, I get it. Children can really push buttons and they got a lot of energy, a lot more than we do. And they do things that we don't necessarily want them to do, but you don't want to worry about how can I not get angry at my children? Why? Because that's the right side. That's what you don't want to put energy into not yelling at the children. What you want to put energy into is becoming a better parent. Does this make sense? You got to

Starting point is 00:04:29 think about that. And the thing about it is this, whether it's your children, whether it's sitting at home, whether it's your boss, whether it's your spouse, whether it's, you know, just sitting in quiet and stillness, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So if your children are agitating you, there's other places in your life that you're getting agitated. If you don't have patience for your children, there's other places in your life where you don't have patience. If you don't have, if you get angry too quickly, there's other places, at your children, there's other places that you get angry too quickly. And so how can you go, okay, let me take a step back and not think about, well, I don't want to yell at my children, but you think, how can I become a better parent? Because if you're getting mad at them for little things, you're also getting mad at them for other things as well.

Starting point is 00:05:18 And one of the things that I always say that, that is great about psychedelics for me personally, you know, I'm not saying everybody needs to do them, but what, one thing that is great about psychedelics for me personally, you know, I'm not saying everybody needs to do them, but one thing that's great about psychedelics is when you're on psychedelics, it amplifies everything for you. And so if you're a very, and this is why people have bad trips. If you're a very anxious person in normal everyday life, guess what? You're going to be more anxious. It's going to be amplified inside of a psychedelic journey. And the reason why is because it amplifies everything that happens to you. So it shows you what you need to work on. That's why so many people get so much from psychedelic journeys is because it takes all of the little underlying

Starting point is 00:05:55 anxieties that you have in your life or the fears or the things that you worry about or the things that you're, you know, not paying attention to. And it amplifies all of them. It takes everyday life and it amplifies them and says, this is what you need to fix. Listen, it's like it shakes you and says, this is it. Would you fricking pay attention to me already? That's kind of what's happening here with the coronavirus, with people having to stay home, with people not being able to leave, is that all of the things that are normally underlying small little fears, anxieties, worry, anger issues with your children, not being patient, all of these things are starting to bubble up to the surface. Not being able to sit quietly, always feeling like you have to keep going. All the things that are kind of underlying, but you're keeping yourself so busy, you're not really, you know, you got work, you got kids.

Starting point is 00:06:47 In normal everyday life, you don't have to pay attention to these things. But when you're stuck in your house, guess what? They're going to bubble up to the surface and say, hey, it's time to work on these. This coronavirus is giving you space to work on these things. It's time. Either you can drive yourself down a crazier road where you're more anxious, more fearful, more worry, more stress, more anger, or you can say, you know what? It's time for me to change my damn life and to stop being this way right now.

Starting point is 00:07:20 I need to start working on myself and now is the time. This thing is showing me that it's the time. So when your kids do those things, they push those buttons that they're pushing. You go, okay, how can I be a better parent right now? Not how can I get, how can I not get pissed off at my children? Cause that's looking at the right arm, but how can I be a better parent right now? Because you don't get what you want. You get what you put energy into. So I'm going to put my energy into being a better parent. I'm going to put my energy into, you know, calming myself down and not being so fearful. I'm going

Starting point is 00:07:57 to put my energy into fearing less. I'm going to put my energy into being a better brother, sister, to put my energy into being a better brother, sister, mother, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, cousin, whatever it is. Maybe it's also showing you that you don't call your mom enough. Maybe it's showing you that you need to FaceTime her a little bit more. Maybe it's showing you that you need to call your grandma. Maybe you can't stop by and see her, but maybe you can call her, have a conversation. What is it trying to show you? It's showing you all of these underlying things. You don't get what you want. You get what you put energy into. So throughout the day, ask yourself this question.

Starting point is 00:08:34 What am I putting energy into? And then the next question is, does it serve me? Is putting all of my energy into worrying about getting the coronavirus serving me? No. Putting all of my energy into worrying about the coronavirus does not serve me. What does serve me? Doing everything that I can to make sure that myself and the people that I'm around don't get it as well. Maybe locking myself down in my house, making myself some incredible meals, and just sitting there and reading, or sitting there and meditating, or playing a game with my children, or having

Starting point is 00:09:10 a conversation with my spouse that we've been too busy to have. Or maybe what we should do is we should go on Amazon, have a couple relationship books delivered to us, and we should read through those books. I don't know. It's different for everybody. But I do know this. Even though it's different for everybody, but I do know this, even though it's different for everybody, it's tailor-made for you. What you're going through and what you

Starting point is 00:09:30 will go through and what you have gone through is always tailor-made for you to make sure that you get the most out of it. But the question is, are you extracting the lesson that's there for you? Because life is going, hey, here's the lesson, man. Do you want to deal with it? Or do you want to just turn a blind eye? Like you have been your entire life because now that you have the time, now that you have the space, now that you have this beautiful thing, that's causing more stillness and you're starting to calm down and you're starting to go, okay, maybe I can accept being here. Okay. I am here. This is how it goes. Instead of, instead of feeling like you always have to keep

Starting point is 00:10:06 going, how can you allow this to slow you down? And in slowing you down, make the necessary changes for you to become a better person because you don't get what you want. You get what you put energy into. What have you been putting your energy into your entire life? So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and someone that you love. And for those of you guys that are out there and you're trying to discover your purpose in life and also trying to discover how to turn that purpose into a paycheck. Maybe you want to design an online business. Maybe you want to be a coach, a health coach, a fitness coach, a nutritional coach, a guitar coach, a, you know, a consultant in some sort of way, a mindset coach, a meditation

Starting point is 00:10:51 coach, but you're not sure exactly getting very clear on exactly what it is or how to do it. Join my business on purpose course. The first 200 people get 25% off the entire course. It starts on April 6th, but our lessons are popping up before April 6th so that we can learn and grow inside of the group before it starts. So if you're interested, go to join BOP stands for business on purpose, join BOP.com. And like I said, if you're one of the first 200 people that join, you will get 25% off, but I'm gonna leave the same way. Leave you every single episode, make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day.

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The Mindset Mentor - Why You Don't Get What You Want

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