The Mindset Mentor - Working Through a Life Crisis

Episode Date: May 25, 2020

At some point, almost everyone will wake up and think "How did I get here? This is not the life I wanted." It's an important part of our awakening. In this episode, I am going to talk about how to dig yourself out of the hole that you might find yourself in at some point in your life. Follow me on Instagram @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And real quick, as I told you guys on last episode, today I would be announcing my 30-day coaching challenge. For those of you guys that are out there and listening and you don't want to be a coach in any sort of way and you never want to be a coach, you can skip ahead probably 30 seconds and get past this whole thing. But For those of you guys that are out there and listening, and you don't want to be a coach in any sort of way, and you never want to be a coach, you can skip ahead probably 30 seconds and get past this whole thing. But for those of you guys that do want to be coaches, nutritionist coaches, life coaches, mindset coaches, wellness coaches, fitness coaches, and you're trying to figure out how to start it. There's many people who listen to me who want to

be coaches. And there's a lot of shady systems and certifications out there that in all honesty are just cash grabs. So I decided I got kind of pissed off that so many people who listened to me were getting scammed that I would do it for way less money and I would do it way better. And so we have the 30 day coaching challenge. And over 30 days, I'm going to teach you the psychology of being a coach, no matter what type of coach it is, the psychology behind being a coach for yourself, but also for your coaching clients. And then also challenge you and teach you how to get your first client within 30 days. And if you're interested, the first 100 people get $50 off. You go to coachwithrob.com.

It is currently on a wait list and that wait list will open up at 9 a.m. Eastern. And so that is when you can join in and that'll be this Friday, May 29th. You can join in the first 100 people get $50 off. And if you want to join in on the wait list and be one of the first people who actually get the link to join in, which will be about 12 hours before everybody else, go to coachwithrob.com, join on the wait list, join in on it. And we will be sending you an email and letting you know the link to join. So if you're interested, coachwithrob.com and we're going to have a whole lot of fun over 30 days and teach you guys how to make money as a coach. So let's talk about, you know, boiling a frog because that makes a whole lot of sense with what we're talking about, right? No, but actually it does make a whole

lot of sense if you do want to be a coach as well, but it makes sense for everybody's life because everybody has been a frog in this example. So there's a fable that says, if you take a frog and you put it in boiling water, it will immediately jump out because it knows that it's getting burned, right? Like it can feel the heat. But if you put it into cool water or room temperature water, it'll sit there. And if you slowly turn up the water, the heat, and slowly turn up the heat and slowly turn up the heat, it will eventually die from boiling to death. Now, I'm not talking anything about frogs at all. I'm actually talking about your life. I don't know if this fable is true, but it makes a great example for how we live our lives because it doesn't notice that it needs to change until it's too late. It

doesn't notice that it needs to jump out because it's slowly getting hotter, slowly getting hotter, slowly getting hotter, and it doesn't see the change. It's kind of like this. You know if you have children or if you have nieces or nephews that you're around all the time, if you're around them all the time, you don't notice them growing. You just see a picture of them a year ago and you're like, oh my God, they're so much taller, right? It's the exact same thing for what happens in your life. But if somebody comes in and they see your child that they haven't seen in six months, or you're like, oh my God, you're so big. That's the first thing that, you know, the aunts and uncles always say, right? And so the way this came about is I was talking to a

friend of mine and over the past couple of years, the past couple of years has been good for him. And you know, it's been great years to be honest with you. Business grown, everything's grown, everything's been amazing but he's gotten himself into a situation in his life where he just feels trapped and I don't wanna give away too much but he's gotten to himself into a situation

where he feels trapped and it didn't happen all at once. Slowly, things started changing in his life over a few years and now he's at the point where if he wants to change his life to be the way that he wants it, it's going to be painful. It's going to be hard. And everyone has something like this that happens in their life, whether it's a relationship where you're in a relationship and the relationship slowly is turning sour, but it's been turning sour

for so long. You don't notice how different the person is from who they were two years ago. And then if you think back to, you know, your first date or think back to when you guys were first dating, you're like, wait, why is there so much different? But I didn't notice the change in that person. Right. And so relationships can be this way. The rat race can be this way. This is the reason why, you know, if I were to be honest with you, this whole example is the reason why people have a midlife crisis. At 40, 45, 50 years old, they have a mental breakdown. The reason why is because they finally wake up to the fact that they are now in boiling water. You know, they get into the rat race. They go from high school to college and they go to college because they think that's

what they're supposed to do. And then they get a job, you know, they get a degree based off of, you know, kind of what they're interested in, but maybe a little bit more interested in making money. And then they go into this job and then they get into a relationship and then they get married and then they have kids and then they have a house and then they have, you know, car payments and mortgages. And then they eventually just realize this isn't what I wanted. And this isn't, you know, everybody, not everybody goes through this, but they realize like certain aspects of their life is not what they wanted. Maybe it's not that the kids and the wife is, is the aspect that they don't want, but maybe it's the job. And they're so deep. They're 10 years of experience deep into this company. They can't leave that business and then go back to

making $40,000 a year when they were making $75,000 a year. You know, so this happens for a lot of people in the rat race where they wake up and they're like, this isn't the job that I've been wanting. I don't want to do this anymore. Like, why did I even sign up for this? Cause I've been wasting my life. You know, another way that this happens where it's kind of like the boiling water example is with your body. Think about it for a second. You know, if you were to see yourself in all of the food, you know, this isn't for everybody, obviously I'm not saying all of you are this way, but if you were to see the food that you eat and as soon as you eat that hamburger,

it immediately puts on five pounds. You need a whole hell of a lot less hamburgers or, you know, candy or, you know, ice cream at night before you go to bed. I always say nobody has a heart attack from one hamburger. They have a heart attack from a bunch of little teeny tiny things that they do over time. And it happens over and over and over and over and over again.

And then 10 years down the road, they're not in the shape that they want. They don't feel as good as they want. They don't look as good as they want. You know, they have, you know, different issues with like their skin. They have different issues with their gut. They have different issues with everything. And it's like the body eventually just says enough is enough because your body will fight for you for a very long time. But nobody has a heart attack from one hamburger. So it's over and over and over. It's repeated

abuse to your body. It's not eating the food that you want, not having, you know, it's having a milkshake instead of a juice or something like that. There's so many points in our lives where this could be true. And I feel like everybody gets into this in some sort of way, whether it's the relationship, whether it's getting into the rat race and having a midlife crisis, whether it's the body, maybe it's following others' expectations, right? Where you've built this life that you thought was what you were supposed to do because when you were 18 years old, you felt like you didn't know better. So you followed your parents' advice. And then 20 years down the road, you're like, what the hell? This isn't what I wanted. And it's gotten to the point, as they say, where it's the boiling point. It's gotten to the point where it's too much.

It's too hot. You're in too deep. And it's either you make a change now and you jump out like the frog or you boil to death and you live a life that you never wanted to. And you know, at some point, hopefully we wake up. If you're listening to this podcast, there's probably been a point in your life where you're like, wake up from this, this trance, this zombie state that you feel like you were in. And when we find that, that this is the way that it is, we want it to change right away. Right? Like we're like, Oh my God, my body, I'm 40 pounds overweight. I want this 40 pounds to be gone. But 40 pounds doesn't just disappear overnight. Nothing changes right away. Just like the boiling water, it took years for you to find out that you went from room temperature to boiling water. And now you're four or five, six years into it. That took time. It takes time

to get off course. And then it takes time to get back on course. Hey, everybody, real quick. Let me tell you about my favorite, favorite, favorite app that's on my phone. It's called Blinkist. It's super unique because it works on your phone, your tablet, or your web browser. And it takes the best key takeaways and the need to know information from thousands of nonfiction books and condenses them down in just 15 minutes that you can read or listen to. And successful people like business leaders are well known for reading a lot of books and Blinkist is made for busy people like you who want to get the main points out of a book quickly and then you can start using that information right away. I love it because it's only about

15 minutes. It's super fast. It's like one of my podcast episodes and you learn a ton just by listening to each one of the Blinkist. So with Blinkist, you get unlimited access to read or listen to a massive library of condensed nonfiction books, all the books you want for one low price. And right now, Blinkist has a special offer for our audience. Go to Blinkist.com slash mindset and try it for free for seven days and save 25% off your subscription. So that's Blinkist, B-L-I-N-K-I-S-T.com slash mindset to start your seven day trial, but only when you go to Blinkist.com slash mindset. All right, let's get back to the show right now. You have to think of it that way. Say you're walking, imagine you're walking down a path and you're just walking down a path in the road and you decide that you want to just turn right.

90 degrees, you're going to turn right and you're going to walk right for two years. And then you wake up one morning and you're like, wait, this isn't the path that I wanted to go. And then you're like, well, God, I should be on the path right now. I want to be on that path. No, if it took you two years to walk, you know, if you turn right and walk straight for two years, why would it take you anything less than two years to get back on the path that you were? But people usually don't think about it this way. People usually think about it in the fact of, oh God, I'm not where I want to be. I know where I want to be. Why the hell am I not there right now?

And then they get pissed off and they get emotional and they start judging themselves and they think, oh my God, I've been going this way for so long. How did I not notice it? How did I not see it? And they get themselves into a spiral where instead of fixing the problem, they just start blaming themselves for the problem. They start judging themselves. They start getting emotional and the problem never actually gets fixed. Nothing happens right away. So if you've been going off course for a while, guess what? It's going to take you some time to

get back on course. But if your life is important to you, if what you're doing right now is important to you, if living a life that's truly fulfilling is important to you or living a life that shows your children exactly what it is to live an inspiring life and do something that you love is important to you, then you have to put the work in. If you want to be able to walk your child down the aisle or walk your grandchildren down the aisle or be able to be there for your grandchildren's birth or whatever it is, you have to realize those 40 pounds that you've accumulated over years, they need to get off of you. And that needs to be the thing that drives you. It needs to drive you so much that you go, you know what? You know what? I guess I have been off path, but now I've finally woken up. You know, it's better than waking up in 10 years from now or never waking up and never having a fulfilling life and being on my deathbed and just regretting.

So I'm not in a situation that I want to be, but guess what? I have the opportunity right now to change that situation and to get to where I want to, but it's going to take time. I know it's going to take time, but if something's important to you, you'll find a way to make it happen. As Gary Vaynerchuk says, don't ever say there's not enough time. Just say it's not important to me. And that'll change your mind on something where if someone's like, oh yeah, I don't have time to work out. No, you could find time. If it was important to you, you could, we all could find time if it's important to us. So instead of saying, I don't have enough time, start saying, it's not a priority for me. Start saying, it's not important to me because ultimately you are the one that's in control of this. Nobody is going to take the weight off of

you. Nobody is going to get you out of the relationship that you no longer want to be in the toxic relationship that's holding you back. Nobody else is going to get you to quit that job that you hate. Nobody else is going to get you to start that business that you want. No one else is going to get you to live an inspiring life for your children except for you. And so you have to take full, complete control and say, you know what? Damn it. I did get myself in this situation. The water is almost boiling, but I'm so damn thankful that I figured it out before I boiled myself to death and got in too deep. And so this is a situation that I said with my friend, he's like, you know, this is going to suck. It's, I'm going to tell you the circumstance, but he's like, this whole thing's going to suck.

It's going to be really bad. I said, well, you know, whether you do it now or whether you do it in five years, it's going to suck. So you have to make the decision of when are you going to do it? When is it, when is enough finally going to be enough? And when you get to the point where enough is enough, that's actually a very, very powerful position to be in. It's almost like rock bottom. Like I've been, I've been at rock bottom before. I've been in a terrible situation in my life. And it's also one of the most inspiring situations to be in because as they say, when you're at rock bottom, there's nowhere else to go but up. And so it's exciting because every day can only get better when you're in a shitty situation. And so if you're out there, I want you to think about how this relates to you.

Where have you become the frog boiling in the water? Where have you gotten in too deep? Where have you maybe been in a trance state or a zombie state and you haven't noticed that you're in a situation that you don't want to be in? Whether that happens to be, like I said, a relationship, or maybe that's being stuck in the rat race, or maybe you're in, you know, in college and you're in a degree that you don't even give a damn about, or maybe your body is just not in the position that you want. Maybe you're not taking care of yourself. Maybe you've been trying to live your entire life to others' expectations. And you can have a midlife crisis at 20, 25, 30, 35, 40 years old. You can have that crisis at any point in time. I had my midlife crisis,

my quarter life crisis at age 24. And I was like, this is not what I want. And I'm probably going to die really early if I continue working 110 hours a week for a job that doesn't fulfill me. And so no matter what position that you're in, only you can make the change, but it has to be important to you. You have to sit down with a pen and paper and say, what do I want for my life? And what do I need to do to get it? If I need to lose this 40 pounds, I need to make a mother effing plan of how I can lose these 40 pounds. I don't need to go into it just guessing. No, I'm going to get this like a business plan for a brand new business, pen and paper, sit down and figure out and plan out with my schedule in my journal, exactly how I'm going to lose this weight, exactly how you're going to get out of that job and start the job that you want, exactly how you're

going to get out of that relationship, exactly how you're going to get out of the rat race, whatever it is for you, get out of that college degree that you really truly don't want. Get out of the rat race, whatever it is for you. Get out of that college degree that you really truly don't want. Whatever it is, you're the one that's in control. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share with someone that you know and love. Please share us on your Instagram.

Tag me in it in your Instagram stories. Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I greatly appreciate it. We only grow when you guys share this. And we're competing against, you know, massive companies like N massive companies like NPR and all these new stations and stuff. And we're still one of the top because you guys are amazing and you guys share. So I'd greatly appreciate if you would share this on your Instagram stories. And for those of you guys that are interested in learning

how to start a coaching business and joining my 30-day coaching challenge, go to coachwithrop.com, join under the wait list, and I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.