The Mindset Mentor - WTF Do You Want?

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast, the number one mindset podcast in the entire world because of you guys, the listeners that are out there. And I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you live in the United States or Canada and you love this podcast, you want to receive some inspirational text messages from me sporadically directly to your phone, text me right now, 512-580-9305. Once again, 512-580-9305. Today, we're going to be cussing. So if you don't like cussing, this ain't your

Starting point is 00:00:42 episode. Today, we're going to be talking about what the fuck do you want? Like, what do you actually want in your life? What do you want? I feel like it's like, what is it, the notebook, where it's like, what do you want? I feel like part of my life when I coach people is like, what do you want? And they're like, I don't know what I want. I'm like, what do you want? Right?

Starting point is 00:01:00 They never get really, really clear on what it is that you want. It's crazy to me how many people don't truly actually know what it is that they want in their life. A lot of them know what they don't want. I'm very clear on that. Like they get very clear, I don't want this, I don't want this, I don't want this. I'm like, what do you want? I just, I want to make more money and have like a nice house. And that's about all of their vision. And then they get mad that they don't have the life that they want because they never actually get really clear what the life that they want is. Right? It's like, if you look back, it's crazy to me when I look back through

Starting point is 00:01:31 all of these ancient texts, I love reading all of these ancient texts because a lot of them say pretty much the same things. And one of the things is that you see consistently is something along the lines of asking you shall receive, which basically means get really clear on what it is that you want and then go out and get it, right? Or ask for it. But it's like, yeah, if you're going to ask for it, you got to be clear on exactly what it is that you want. And so many people just don't get really clear on the life that they want to have. And then they're mad that the life that they have is not the life that they want, but it's because they didn't get clear on exactly what it is that they want. And so you have to find out and get very clear on what it is that you want so that you can decide

Starting point is 00:02:12 what you don't want to do, what you don't want to be, how you need to change, what actions you need to stop taking or start taking. And when you decide, and you've heard me say it over and over and over again, this podcast, the root word for the word decide comes from decadere, which actually means to cut off. So you can cut off all other options, cut off all other versions of you that are in the way of holding you back from creating the life that you want. So what do you want? Because most people have an idea, but they don't have a really clear, concise of this is exactly what I'm going to be getting in my life. And it's crazy. If you were to, when we get done with today's podcast, if you were to take 20 minutes on your phone and just put 20 minutes on your phone, take out a pen and paper

Starting point is 00:02:56 and say, what do I want in my life? And make sure that you are as clear and concise as possible. You'll be like, okay, I've got a great vision for what I'm trying to go do. But you've got to be very clear and concise. Not, I want to make more money. Tell me exactly how much money you want to make. Tell me how much you want to make, how you're going to make it, how much you want to save, how much you want to invest, how much you want to be worth, what you want your assets to look like.

Starting point is 00:03:20 When you say, I want to lose weight, that's not it. That's not clear and concise, but it's like, how much do you want to wait? What do you want to weigh? Everything. And the main reason why, why people don't really get clear on what they want is why they don't really have the life they want is because they're not clear on what it is that they want. And so when you can sit down and actually write with pen and paper and make it real and physical and exist in this world, it makes it so much easier to go, okay, I've got this now. Now let me make a plan. But if you don't have an idea of exactly what you want, you're not going to be able to come up with any plan of exactly

Starting point is 00:03:47 how you're going to get there. So what do you want in your life? What's the reason why you're on this planet, right? When you, when you die, how do you want to be remembered? When you're born, you know what you want. When you're hungry, you cry. When you're in pain, you cry. Whenever you want something, you cry because you want to get it. So you know how to, you know hungry you cry when you're in pain you cry whenever you want something you cry because you want to get it so you know how to you know what you want when you're younger but what happened along the way well somewhere along the way as you were growing up it happens to basically all of us right somebody said to you as you got older stop being so, or you can't do that, or be realistic. Oh, you want to be president? No one in this family has even graduated college. You're not

Starting point is 00:04:32 going to become president. You can't do that. Oh, you want to be an astronaut? You can't be an astronaut. Oh, you want to be a successful business owner? Nobody in this family has ever had a business before. You come from a bad part of town. You come from a bunch of poor people. We're always going to be poor, whatever it is. So we have this very innate belief in ourself when we're young because there's no reason not to believe in yourself. And then at some point in time, it is deprogrammed. It is programmed out of us. And this is your life. It is. This is the life that you have. And maybe there's more lives after this. Maybe there's reincarnation. Maybe there's not. Maybe there's a heaven. Maybe there's not. Maybe we become more warm food. Maybe we don't.

Starting point is 00:05:17 Maybe we get other lives. I don't know. I don't know. And I don't pretend to act like I know. And anybody who does pretend to act like they know probably doesn't know because they've never actually gone through it, right? But this is what I do know. And what you know is that you are here and you do have this life. And so what I do want you to understand is you need to stop living someone else's dream, not even someone else's dream. You need to stop living what someone else told you to live and to do what it is that you truly want. You know, people say, get a real job. Maybe you wanted to have this amazing career and be a painter or a musician. And your mom and dad was like, no, no, no, you should do something different. Oh, you're very artsy, honey, but you're not going to make any money doing that.

Starting point is 00:05:54 You should go to school and be an engineer. And how many parents did this to their children and told them what to go to school for, what schools to go to, and what job to take, and all that. And really more than anything else, we do it a lot of times to please them, or they want you to do this so that they don't get embarrassed saying, oh, my son is an artist and not a doctor, or whatever it might be. But then you start to realize that I'm either living somebody else's life, I'm living somebody else's dream, or I'm living within someone else's limitations. And we've built a life where we are actually living inside of someone else's box, the box that they placed us in, not even the box we made for ourself. So, and I get this because your parents do care about you, hopefully, right? The majority of

Starting point is 00:06:44 people listening, your parents do care about you and they want you to go the safe route. They want you to go secure out. So it does make more sense in their minds being older, you know, to go to college than it is to be an artist. So it's a more secure route. But I don't know about you. The thing that 2020 taught me more than anything else is that what we thought was secure wasn't secure because 35, I think it was 35 million people lost their job in like a week or two. That doesn't sound too damn secure to me. So the problem with secure is that rarely does it,

Starting point is 00:07:14 I wanna say secure, I mean quote unquote secure, is rarely does it mean fulfilling. And when you look at the job that you do and who you work for, the company that you have, whatever it is, is it fulfilling to you? When you look there and you're just like, oh, we build widgets and we sell this product. Does that feel fulfilling to you? Do you feel like you're making the world a better place? You know, what would you, what does sound fulfilling to you? Alan Watts says, you know, a great question to ask yourself is what would you be doing if money were no object? If you just,

Starting point is 00:07:44 because a lot of times what we do is we work just to make money, but we don't like our jobs and then we're just following money. So if we follow that route, the part of the quote that Alan Watts says is, you know, if you work just to make money and you don't like your job, then you're just following the money. Then you will be doing things that you don't like doing in order to keep living, which is to be doing things that you don't like doing. And he says, it's better to have a short life doing things that you love than a long life spent in a miserable way. And so you've got to ask yourself, am I living the life that's actually truly fulfilling to me? That is actually what I want?

Starting point is 00:08:23 Or am I doing what other people told me to do or what was realistic? Because if you remember, and the reason why I say it's been programmed out of you to quote unquote be realistic and put yourself into some sort of box is, do you remember what it was like being a kid? Or have you been around a kid recently, like a three-year-old? You know, like so many kids want to be a fireman. They want to be first female president. They want to be a pilot. They want to be first female president. They want

Starting point is 00:08:45 to be a pilot. They want to be an astronaut. Very rarely do I hear a child be like, I want to work a corporate job doing something that I hate. Never heard a three-year-old say that, right? They want to do something amazing and exciting. And every bit of them believes that it's possible. But at some point in time, we stop thinking that way. We are programmed out of that thinking, but we can program ourselves back into that thinking. And the reason why it's important to start thinking this way is to realize that along the way, people change their plans, not based on personal interests, but usually because of security, quote unquote security. But then they

Starting point is 00:09:26 end up living a life that's unlived. And that's why the number one regret of people who are dying, according to the book, the five regrets of the dying is that I wish I lived a life that was true to myself and not the life that other people expected of me. I like to follow, like Tony Robbins says, success leaves clues. Well, failure also leaves clues as well. And so if we can look at people who got to the end of their life and they knew that it was ending and they have these regrets and the number one regret of those people

Starting point is 00:09:53 was I wish I lived a life that was true to myself and not the life that other people expected of me. I don't know about you, but I look at that and I go, fuck that, I'm not doing that. I'm gonna live the life that I want to live because that's their regret. I don't want that to be my regret. Success leaves clues. Well, failure also leaves clues as well. There's a lot of unhappy people out there because they go the route that their family tells them to go. They go the route that they think society thinks that we

Starting point is 00:10:17 should go. And then 10, 20 years down the road, they realize that it's not direction that made them fulfilled. And they wake up, they're 45 years old, they're 50 years old. And they think, what the fuck have I been doing with my life? Right? That's what a midlife crisis is. So I ask you, what do you want? Don't listen to this podcast episode. Just go to the next one. Take time. Ask yourself the question. If money were no object, what would you do with your time? What's your passion? What is it that would make you feel fulfilled and make you feel fulfilled, that would make you feel like you're doing something great in this world?

Starting point is 00:10:49 You know, if you can figure out that, could you figure out a way to make it your profession? Cool, you probably could. Your passion doesn't always have to be your profession. You know, your profession can make you some money, but it gives you more time to follow your passion. And so maybe your passion can be your paycheck. Maybe your passion doesn't have to be your paycheck, but you get a paycheck

Starting point is 00:11:10 and you spend your time doing that. And when you get out of it, you spend the majority of your time outside of it, actually following your passion. So what do you want? Do you want to travel? Do you want to backpack Europe? I quit my job in 2012 and I saved up for an entire year and I was 26 years old. And in 2012, I backpacked Europe for three months. I went all over the place and it was the most life-changing best thing that I've ever done. It gave me so much clarity in my life.

Starting point is 00:11:37 I would not do what I do now had I not had this three months alone. There was a lot of moments. I think that everybody should take a solo trip somewhere at some point in time in their life. It doesn't have to be three months. It could be 10 days. But when you get that alone time with yourself and you get to think and you get to process it, you get to be away from everything else. You know, when I quit my job and I went around and I went to 25 different cities that were inside of Europe in three months and all

Starting point is 00:12:03 over the place, I got really clear on what it is that I wanted. And I was like, I don't want to, I want to have my own business. I want it to be online. I want it to be location independent so that I can do this traveling because I'm obsessed with this traveling thing. And what's crazy about it is the whole year leading up to going and actually traveling and going to Europe, not one person told me it was a bad idea. It was wild. I thought there would be so many people be like, Rob, but you're so successful at such a young age. Why are you doing this? Not one person said, I don't think you should do it. Everyone said one of two things, either number one, I wish I would have done that when I was younger, or number two, I did that and

Starting point is 00:12:41 it was the best decision of my life. Because most people go the sensible route. They go the sensible route and they numb their own desires and they don't go and do the things that they want. Maybe it's traveling that you want. Maybe it's starting a foundation. I don't know what it is, but it's really going to be different for every person listening to this episode. But do you actually know what the hell you want?

Starting point is 00:13:06 You know, stop saying, I don't know, and start figuring it out. If you don't know at this very moment, well then spend every morning while you drink your coffee, not on your phone, not talking to someone else, but journaling, what do I want in my life? I remember I was listening to a really, really old speech and a lady stood up and she said, she said, how do I know what I want in my life? I remember I was listening to a really, really old speech and a lady stood up and she said, she said, how do I know what I want? Like I know about manifesting, I know about the universe, but I don't know what it is that I want. How do I find it? And the person who was speaking, I can't remember who it was that I was listening to, said, wake up every single morning and say out loud, I want to know what I want.

Starting point is 00:13:47 And I was like, holy shit, that's so simple. And it's so profound. If you don't know what it is that you want, wake up every single morning and say, I want to know what I want. I want to know what I want. And you start setting your sights on that thing and eventually you'll figure out what it is that you want.

Starting point is 00:14:01 This is your life and it is ending one minute at a time. You deserve to have everything that you want in this life. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be successful, wealthy, joyful, full of love and compassion. But if you follow your heart, what's really interesting is that the money will usually follow too. If you set your sights on money, it will make it harder to make money. But when you follow what it is that you're truly passionate about, what's really crazy is because you're so passionate about it, it will make it harder to make money. But when you follow what it is that you're truly passionate about, what's really crazy is because you're so passionate about it, it will be so easy to put in the reps and to put in the hours towards that thing. And usually because you do it so much, just straight out of passion, you end up doing a lot more. And because

Starting point is 00:14:36 you're doing a lot more, you become better. Because you become better, you can actually figure out a way to make money getting it and doing that thing. Most people don't think that they can make a living doing what they love. Most people can. So make a list of the 20 things that you love. What would you do for free? What do you just love to do and see if you can think of ways to make money doing them? Like for me, I'm weird in the sense that I love learning about people. I love sitting and talking to people. I love talking to a person, finding out their story, and figuring out how they got to be the person that they are. I love reading books on psychology

Starting point is 00:15:08 and therapy and early childhood development. I geek out on those things. Most people don't want to read that. I would do that even if I made, I did for shit. I did it for 12 years. I made no money doing it basically, but I just did it because I was passionate about it. And then one day I was like, I'm going to start a podcast. I feel like I have a lot of knowledge that I could help people. Never one day did I, in my wildest dreams, did I ever think it could be what it is now. But I was just so obsessed with it. And then one day I was like, oh my God, my brain is filled with this stuff. I might as well share it. And then what you do is you just literally figure out exactly what is it you want. And once you decide what is it you want, you decide,

Starting point is 00:15:43 to cut off, there are no other options. You decide that you won't let anyone talk you out of it, especially yourself. People will tell you you're crazy and they'll tell you to be realistic. Find what you want and make it your mission statement. Find a mission statement that excites you and read it every single morning. Share your vision and people will want to help you. There's a phrase that I used to always say to myself when I first opened my office as a sales manager in the franchise that I owned. And I don't know where it came from, but the phrase was, when you set yourself on fire, people will come to watch you burn. And I love that because I was like, I'm

Starting point is 00:16:20 going to find the thing that sets me on fire and I'm going to share it with so much fucking passion that people are like, I want to be a part of that. I want to see what's going on over here. I want to learn from this person. You know, there's a great quote that I love that's Henry David Thoreau that says, most people live a life of silent depression, silent desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them. Most people live a life of silent desperation and go to the grave with a song still in them. Don't go to the grave with a song still in them. Most people live a life of silent desperation and go to the grave with a song still in them. Don't go to the grave with a song still in you. Another quote that I love that's also close to that as well

Starting point is 00:16:53 is Les Brown, and Les Brown says, the graveyard is the richest place on earth because it's here that you'll find all of the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, to keep with the problem, or be determined to

Starting point is 00:17:12 carry out their dream. Figure out what it is that you want, decide that you're going to do it, and don't let anybody talk you out of it. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram and tag me in it, Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And if you're out there and you love this podcast, you might love to challenge yourself. If you really want to kick yourself in the ass

Starting point is 00:17:36 and you need a kick in the ass in January to make 2024 the best year of your life, join my Level Up 30 Challenge. It's 30 days. We're gonna be pushing ourselves. We have six pillars that we have to hit every single Level Up 30 challenge. It's 30 days. We're going to be pushing ourselves. We have six pillars that we have to hit every single day for 30 days. And I'll be coaching you live in a group session every single day for 30 days. And I'm going to be pushing you, helping you, going through the

Starting point is 00:17:55 challenge with you. If you want to learn more about it, go to levelup30.com. Once again, levelup30.com. Learn more. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you. And I hope that you have an amazing day. See ya.

The Mindset Mentor - WTF Do You Want?

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