The Mindset Mentor - WTF Do You Want In Life?

Episode Date: November 16, 2020

What the hell do you want your life to be? If you never get clear on what you want, you'll never get it! In this episode, we're going to get clear on what you want! :-)Follow me on Instagram @RobDialJr https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you don't yet follow me on Instagram, follow me right now for more inspiration. Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. I will also be giving out some pretty incredible stuff very soon as prizes for people who follow me on there. So if you're interested, go ahead and follow me. Today, we're going to be talking about what the hell do you want in your life? Now, the reason why I want to dive into this is because if you've been following me for a while, there's one thing that I'm very, very, very adamant on.

And it is being very, very, very, very, very, very, very clear on exactly what you want in your life. Why? Because I've met thousands of people that are so pissed off that they're not where they want to be. And when we sit down and find out where they want to be, they actually have no real clue of where they want to be. I'm like, that's crazy. That's like getting mad at your mom for not giving you the Christmas gift that you wanted. When she asked you what you wanted, though, you said, I don't know, just get me anything. Right?

And you have to realize, you have to know very specifically, very clearly exactly what it is that you want. And you have to decide in your mind that I am going to get this. Now, if you're not very clear on exactly what it is that you want, how are you going to decide exactly what it is that you want? Number one, and then number two, that I am going to get this thing. So what do you want in your life? What is it? One of the problems that people have an idea in their head, but they never actually take it and put it on a piece of paper and say, can I get more clear of

this? Can I get more clear? Can I get more clear? You'll never hit a target that you can't see. If you've been following me for a while, once again, you've heard me say this before, but if I were to take you and the number one archer in the entire world, and I were to put you guys up next to each other and say, Hey, hit that target. That's 20 meters out. He's going to hit the target every single time, way better than you are. But if I blindfold him and spin him around and give him no idea of what direction he's facing, who has a better, who has a better chance of hitting that target? It's you. Not because you're better, but simply because you can see the target. So if you can't see the target that you're shooting for in your life,

how the hell do you think you're going to get it? The main reason why people don't get what they want in life is because they don't really know what they want. So what do you want? What's the reason why you're on this planet? When you die, which you will, we all will, how do you want to be remembered? How do you want to be remembered? The interesting thing is when you're born, you know what you want. Let me explain this. This is what's interesting. You might think, but when you're born, you don't know what you want at all. I didn't, I didn't know what I wanted to be when I was younger. No, when you're born, you know what you want. When you're hungry, you cry.

When you're in pain, you cry. Whenever you want something, you cry to get it because you knew you wanted that thing. It was just a subconscious part of your mind. You weren't consciously thinking about what this thing was, but you knew what you wanted. You wanted food. You want to be out of pain. You wanted something else. So what happened? Somewhere along the way, somebody was talking to you and somebody was, you know, saying, oh, you know, you can't do that. Stop being so selfish.

You're not smart enough to do that. You want to be president one day? No, that's for the smart kids. You're not smart enough. No, you're not getting school. No, you can't be president one day? No, that's for the smart kids. You're not smart enough. No, you're not getting school. No, you can't be president. No one in this family has even gone to college. So what happens is you're taught along the way how you're supposed to be, what you're supposed to believe in, what your family tells you to do, what your society tells you to do. Somewhere along the way, someone told you, stop being so selfish. This is actually how you're supposed to do it. No one in this family goes and does that. You're supposed to be a doctor. You're supposed to be a lawyer. People say, get a real job. Okay, let's talk about that. What the fuck is a real job,

everybody? Just think about that phrase for a second. What is a real job? When someone says get a real job, what exactly does that mean? Is it what they think it is? Is it what you think that it is? Is it something that pays $100,000 a year? Someone says, oh, you can't be an artist. Get a real job. Don't be an artist. Okay. Well, what is a real job exactly? Something that makes $50,000, $ Something that makes 50, 60, 70, $100,000 a year? I know a lot of artists that make over a million dollars a year. So how is being an artist not a real job? Explain that. So maybe your mom and dad think that you should do something else in your life because what you're doing or what you want to do doesn't please them. And it's embarrassing for them to tell their friends that,

oh, you're an artist and not a doctor. Oh, yeah. You know, John, he's a doctor. That's what they want to say. Oh, John, he's a lawyer. Oh, John, he's a corporate executive. Not, oh, John, yeah, he's an artist, hasn't had a job in 10 years. Right? For them, they want something they can be proud of sometimes. And this isn't all parents, obviously, but I hear this a lot, like a lot, a lot, a lot of how much people aren't living the lives they want to because simply their parents would disapprove the thing that they want to do, even though they're 30 years old, right? So we care about so much about going the secure route, what is perceived secure. Well, if there's one thing that we found this year with all of

COVID, everything that's been happening is that the only secure route is not to work for somebody else. Because 30 million people got fired this year that quote unquote went the secure route. The only secure route is actually to work for yourself because the only person that can fire you is you. And if you don't want to be fired today, well, guess what? You won't be fired today. So we were taught what the secure route is, what this life we're supposed to go down is. And then one day we wake up and we're like, what am I doing with my life? This isn't even close to what I want to do. What am I supposed to do? There's so many people. There's a reason why there's the phrase midlife crisis is because people wake up and think,

what the hell am I doing with my life? This isn't what I wanted. This isn't the career path I wanted. This isn't the college I wanted to go to. This isn't the degree I wanted to get. So they went the secure route and then they wake up one day and realize my soul does not feel fulfilled and it hasn't felt fulfilled in I don't know how long. That's what a lot of people wake up to. Don't be one of those people. Don't go the secure route unless that's what you

want to do. If you want to go the secure, you can't see my air quotes, but my air quotes, the secure route, then go that way. But if you don't, and there's a part of you that's like, I want to be a coach. I want to be a teacher. I want to be an artist. I want to travel the world and do photography and make money on Instagram by being sponsored by companies. Do it. If your parents don't understand, if your society doesn't understand it, if your family doesn't understand, if your friends don't understand it, it's not about them. It never has been about them and it never will be about them. Because here's what's interesting. Once you succeed, people stop saying, oh, that

was something stupid. And they're like, man, I always knew you'd be successful. That's what's really interesting about it. So what would you be doing if money were no object? Alan Watts, one of my favorite, favorite, favorite philosophers says, what would you be doing if money were no object? You know, if you were to just go to work to make money and you don't like your job, then you're just following the money. Then you'd be doing things that you don't like doing in order to keep on living, which is to be doing things you don't like doing. And he says, it's better to have a short life doing things that you love than a long life spent in a miserable way. So think about it. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

Did you want to be a firefighter? Did you want to be the first female president? Did you want to be a pilot? Did you want to be an astronaut? What did you want when you were a kid? Because usually the beautiful thing about being a kid is that's your soul speaking. That's not society speaking. When you had that imagination, what did you want to be? Did you want to be a painter? Did you want to be a singer? Did you want to be a dancer? What did you want to be? Now, I know part of you is lighting up inside and the other part of you is going, that's unrealistic. I got bills to pay. I got a family to support. I have all of these things going on. Listen, I understand bills. I understand family to support. But if you hate

your life, you're not going to show up the best that you can for your family. You're not going to show up and be present 100% for your children. You're not going to show up and be present 100% for your children. And your children aren't going to be getting 100% of you, which means they're going to be the ones that are really missing out by you not living the life that you want. This holiday season, the best deal in wireless can be found at Mint Mobile. Right now, when you switch to Mint Mobile and buy any three-month plan, you'll get another three months absolutely free. As the first company to sell premium wireless services online only, Mint Mobile allows you to safely order from home and maximize your savings with plans that start at just $15 a

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Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash mindset. And I'm not saying quit your job and immediately start painting right now, but can you start thinking about a five-year transition? Can you start planning out what the transition will look like? Okay, you know, I work a corporate job right now. I make $80,000 a year. In five years, I want to see

if I can go full-time as an artist. Okay, what would that transition look like over the course of two years or three years or five years? Start planning it out. I'm not saying quit your job, start painting right now, go get some supplies and see if you can pay the bills next month.

No, what I'm saying is why don't you start thinking about what your life could be if you did what you really truly wanted yourself to do. Think about how much your wife and your husband will love you when you're showing up as the truest version of yourself, not the one that feels like, oh my God, I got to go to fucking work again today. If you're showing up that way, the way you do one thing is the way you do today. If you're showing up that way, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. If you're showing up that way to work, I guarantee you're showing up in other ways that are very similar to that for your family.

But if you show up as, oh my God, I can't wake up today because I love what I do, I guarantee you're going to show up and you're actually going to be a little bit more loving, a little bit more open, a little bit happier for everyone that you surround yourself with. It's better to have a short life doing the things that you love to do than a long life that's spent in a miserable way, as Alan Watts says. So you wanted to be a firefighter. You want to be

the first female president. You want to be pilot. You want to be astronaut. You wanted to do something cool, something fun. But along the way, society comes in and they make you change your plans, not based on your personal interests, but because of security. Quote unquote security. Until once again, we found out that security doesn't mean security when you work for someone else because you can get fired at any moment. Any business can make any change they want to. Don't live a life unfulfilled. There's a lot of really unhappy people out there because they go the route that the family tells them to, or that society tells them to, or what they think they should do, or because they're just chasing money. And then 10, 20 years down the road,

they realize it's not the direction that they wanted and they hate the life that they built. So I ask you, what do you want? If money were no object, how would you fill your time? What is your passion? What makes you smile just thinking about it? Can you figure out a way to make that your profession? Maybe, maybe not. Here's the interesting thing about your passion. I'm going to make a lot of you feel better right now. Here's the interesting thing about your passion. I'm going to make a lot of you feel better right now. Your passion does not have to be your profession.

Now, you might get lucky and you might find out that your passion can become your profession. There's a lot of people that do that, but you don't have to put that pressure on yourself. What if your passion was something completely different and your profession allowed you to make money but gave you free time to do more of what it is that you actually truly want to do and what your passion is. Wouldn't that be okay? Maybe you have a job. Maybe you work a job that you're working 60 hours a week right now. And you're like, you know what? I make $80,000 a week. I'm sorry, $80,000 a year. I make $80,000 a year doing this thing, working 80 hours a week. What if you were to find a job that paid you $65,000, you worked 40 hours a week,

so you worked half as much, but you had more time for your passion? Would that make your soul come more alive? Think about that. Something that gives you more free time, still allows you to pay the bill, still allows you to have a life where you're good, you're taking care of your family, but you're doing what you truly want to do. What would that life look like for you? What do you want? Do you want to travel?

Do you want to backpack Europe and become a photographer and start making money on Instagram? I know people that make millions of dollars taking photos on Instagram. I know it's a crazy world we live in nowadays, but it truly happens. You know, I quit my job back in 2012 to backpack Europe for three months. It was the best thing I've ever done in my entire life because it gave me so much clarity. I was stuck in the rat race and I got into the rat race early and I get it. And you know, back in 2012, I was 26 years old and I've been in, in and working for seven years and working for hours and hours and hours. I had my midlife crisis at my quarter life. So I had a quarter life crisis. I quit my job. I went to Europe and I was backpacking. I literally saved up for an entire year. I saved up money and I backpacked for three months. It was the best

thing I ever did in my entire life because it gave me so much clarity on what I wanted in my life and what I didn't want in my life. And my entire life now has been built from what I learned about myself in those three months. I learned I need to do something I'm passionate about. I need to do something online and I need to travel, right? I literally just got back yesterday from a month in Sedona. I don't say that to brag. I say it because I've built my life to be able to go and do those things. Three years ago, my girlfriend and I left and we worked the entire time for six months of traveling all around the world. I don't say it to brag. I say it because I've built my life around that. What do you want?

If you look at your life and you fast forward 10 years, is that what you want? want. If you look at your life and you fast forward 10 years, is that what you want? Is it? The job that you want, is that the job that you're currently at? Is that the job that you want in 10 years? Going up the corporate ladder a little bit more? If it is, great, beautiful. But if it's not, it's time to make some changes, right? Just leaving gave me so much clarity. I wouldn't do what I do now if I hadn't had those three months alone. Not one person told me it was a bad idea. That's what's crazy. I told so many people. I thought that so many older people would tell me, oh my gosh, that's a terrible idea. You shouldn't do that. No, you have such a good, I mean, I was making over a hundred thousand dollars a year,

20, 26 years old. I thought everyone's going to be like, Rob, that's so stupid. Why would you leave your job? You're making so much great money. It's secure. Everyone I told was like, I wish I would do that. I wish I could do that. I wish I could do that. I wish I would have done that when I was younger. Or some people said, I did that when I was younger and it was the best decision of my life. I told people for six months, not one person told me it was a bad idea. What do you want? months. Not one person told me it was a bad idea. What do you want? Most people go the sensible route. And what happens? They become numb to their desires. They don't even know what they want anymore because they've learned to numb themselves of the feeling of, I hate what I do. I hate this life that I've built. What if you were to reawaken that and feel those feelings of,

oh my God, I don't want to do this anymore. What is it that I truly want to do? I'm going to stop numbing myself. Stop saying, I don't know when you ask yourself what you want. Try to figure it out. It's okay right now to not know what it is that you truly want to do. It's okay. But it's not okay to not be in constant pursuit for what it is that you want in your life.

It's okay to not know what you want in your life right now, what your true purpose in life is, but it's not okay to not be in constant pursuit for what that one thing is. This is your life and it's ending one moment at a time. You deserve to have everything you want in this life, but it's going to take you to find the target and start working towards that target. Once again, I'm not telling you to find the target and then quit your job today. What I'm saying is I'm telling you to find the target and then see if there's some form of a transition to having the life that you want. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to love what you do. But if you follow your heart, what's crazy is there's usually a

whole lot of money that comes with it too. When you follow your heart, you do something that you truly love. There's no such thing as working. You just go and you just do things. And that's why a lot of people that are truly passionate about what they do work, quote unquote, work for 60, 70, 80 hours, a hundred hours a a week because they don't see any difference between who they are and what they do. They're just creating. That's what their life is. And when you work that hard or create that hard, you become really good at what it is

that you do. When you do what you're passionate about, you don't see it as work. So you're okay working, quote unquote, for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours on end. And when you put that much time into anything, you become really good at it. Most people don't think that they can make a living doing what they love to do. I promise you, I've seen people make money in really, really weird ways. So make a list of 20 things that you love doing and you do them for free. Just think 20 things. What do you love

doing? What is it? Oh, I love taking pictures. I love going to the movies. I love cooking. What else do you love? Just write it all down and see if you can think of ways to make money from doing any of those 20 things. Once you figure out what it is, do not let anyone, not even me, talk you out of it. People tell you that you're crazy along the way. And to be realistic, fuck them. Don't worry about them. Do what you want to do. Find what you want. Make a mission statement that excites you and read it every single morning and every single night and share your vision with people who want to help you. And don't stop until you get the life that you want. So that's what I got for you for today's episode.

If you love this episode, if it made you come alive, please share it with someone that you know and love. Please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it, RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.