The Mindset Mentor - You Are NOT Who You Think You Are!

Episode Date: May 24, 2021

I am sure that the person that you think you are is not even close to who you truly are. In today's episode, I am going to help you discover your true self. Follow me on IG here: https://instagram.com/robdialjr Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you've been listening for a while and you have not given us a rating review on iTunes or Spotify or Stitcher, however you listen to us, please give us a rating review. It would help more people find this podcast. So if you love this, please go ahead and give us a rating review. And if you think that this podcast sucks and you want to give me some information as to why, send me an email, rob at robdial.com and tell me how I can improve it. I'm always open if you don't think it's good enough. Today, we're going to dive into talking about why you are not

the person that you think that you are. We're going to talk into talking about why you are not the person that you think that you are. We're going to talk about who you think you are is not even close to who you truly are. And I know that this is going to be kind of groundbreaking and mind-blowing for a lot of people. 99% of people listening to me right now or watching me, however you're consuming this content, your perception of yourself is completely false. And let me explain to you why that is. There's a quote that's really good that I'm going to give you from a guy named Charles Cooley. And the quote summarizes all of this perfectly. And he says, I'm not who I think I am. I'm not who you think I am. I am who I think that you think I am. Now, what the hell does that mean? Let me say it one

more time. I'm not who I think I am. I'm not who you think I am. I am who I think that you think that I am. So what exactly does this even mean? Well, let's dive into it. Most people think that they are who they are through their own perception of what they think other people think they are. So I think that I am the person that I see that you think that I am. Now, this is a really big problem because we're dealing with a perception of a perception, right? So not only is all of this completely false, it's so far from who you truly are. But so many people, I'm going to tell you why this is, but so many people have built their entire lives, their entire identity, everything that they know about themselves, that they love about themselves, that they hate about themselves off of a perception

of what they think that they actually are. Right? And it all starts off because in reality, the way that we learn the world and how to navigate through the world is through our parents. But we also learn who we are through our parents. We start off and we become who we think our parents think we are, right? That's the reason why parents need to be so careful with what they say around their kids and what they do around their kids, because the children are literally going to build themselves up based off of what they see, what they think, what they hear, right? Children become who they think their parents think they are, right? And you know, it's

terrible, but some children are verbally abused when they're younger. It's a terrible thing. And a lot of people never get over it. Why? Because even though a lot of people consciously know as adults, once they grow up, they consciously know that the things that may have been said to them when they were not, when they were, you know, little tiny children and they were just a sponge, they might consciously know those things are false. But in their subconscious, their subconscious is still holding it as true because they're not consciously thinking a lot as a child. If an adult comes up to a child and says, you are stupid, the child, a lot of times is two, three, four years old, is not sitting there and actually saying, well, is this true? Is

this false? Is this true? Is this false? It's like a big human just came up to me and told me I'm stupid. They're smarter than I am. I don't know how to navigate this world perfectly still. So they must be right. I must be stupid, right? And some people will be told something by an adult as a child. And they take that as their truth. And they act like it's their truth for the rest of their life. But the problem with that is that we're living our lives through what we see in other people.

And we also have a really big problem. And the big problem is that people who are talking to you as a child, as you're growing up as a teenager, and even right now, every single person has a skewed perception based off of their childhood, right? So looking to somebody else for information on who you are is like looking into a broken mirror to see what you look like. Let me say that again. Looking to someone else for information about who you are is like looking into a broken mirror to see what you look like. You'll never see the true picture, right? Because everybody who you talk to has different paradigms and different perceptions of the world around them.

And so you're going to be seeing yourself through this broken perception, which isn't true. And so if you base your entire life based off of someone else's perception, you're going to be living something that's completely false. Imagine this real quick, and I'll bring this together so it makes more sense and it's not as abstract. Let's imagine this. Let's imagine that you remind someone of their dad, right? Maybe you look like him. Maybe you talk like him. Maybe, you know, you have the same type of personality, whatever it is. Let's just say that they loved their dad. He was an amazing man.

He did everything that he could. He's still around. He loves the hell out of this person. And you remind that person of their dad. Then they are going to have amazing feelings around you. And that's going to show when they are around you. And when someone has amazing feelings towards you and And that's going to show when they are around you. And when someone has amazing feelings towards you and they let that show, well, what's going to happen? It will

make you feel good about yourself. And you'll think, man, I must be a good person. I must, you know, you feel good when someone feels good around you, right? So if they love, if you remind someone of their dad, whatever it is that reminds them, then you're going to have this perception of yourself through that person who loved their dad and be like is that reminds them, then you're going to have this perception of yourself through that person who loved their dad and be like, damn, I must be really awesome because that person really liked me. Okay. Now let's flip it. Let's say that you just happened to look like their dad or you look like their mother if you're a female, right? Let's say their dad or their mom was a terrible person and you just happened to look just like him. Then what

are they going to think of you? And it has nothing to do with you and who you are. It has everything to do based off of their perception of another person in their childhood that they're bringing to them now, right? They're not going to like you, not because it's your fault, but simply because of their own perception of what you remind them of. And it might make you feel worse about yourself because you don't even know that you remind them of their dad, right? Neither one of those situations, whether they like you or whether they don't like you based off of whether they like their dad or whether they don't like their dad,

neither one of those has anything to do with you. And that's why this is so dangerous. That's why it's so important to find out who you are and decide who you're going to be. You know, if I ask you right now, let's play a game. Let's do this together. If I ask you, who are you? I want you to answer right now. Answer it in your head. Who are you? Answer it. Think about that for a second. Take a few seconds. Who are you? Say it out loud. Bring as many things into your conscious awareness that are you, that say who you are, right?

And so, you know, some of you might say your name. Oh, I'm Rob Dial. Some of you might say, I am a mother of two. I'm a father of three. I am 35 years old. I am from Florida. I am a brother. of three. I am 35 years old. I am from Florida. I am a brother. I am a sister. I am a cousin. I am a CEO of a beverage company. I am a janitor at the beverage company. Whatever it is, you're going to say these things. I'm a college graduate. I went to the University of Florida. When I ask you who you are, you're going to start naming off external things, but none of those are actually who you truly are. It's starting to get hot and summer's right around the corner. And that's why you should hydrate with Huzzah. Experience bold probiotic seltzer with benefits. Everything's more fun when you feel your best. That's why Huzzah adds probiotics to your seltzer

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cooler ready and stock up on Huzzah probiotic seltzer by using the code dial D I A L for 20% off your order at drinkhuzzah.com. That's code dial D I AL for 20% off at drinkhuzzah.com. None of those things are actually who you truly are, right? Your name, the fact that you're a mother, a father, your age, where you're from, if you're a brother, sister, if you went to college, if you dropped out of college, if you got a degree, if you got multiple degrees, none of those things are actually who you truly are. I'll give you an example that makes, let's just really try to dumb this down as much as possible so I can just like make it so it's as simple as I possibly can.

I drive a 2018 Ford Raptor. I am not a 2018 Ford Raptor, right? Now you might be like, oh yeah, no shit. That makes complete sense. Of course you're not. Why would I ever think that you're a car? Well, I bought the car, right? Which means that I have quote unquote achieved the buying of a car. So then why would you, if I'm not a Ford Raptor, then why are you a college graduate? Why are you a mother? Why are, these are all things that you have done, right? And some of you think that you're a mother or father, which you are, but at the deeper level, right? At the deepest sense, which you are, but at the deeper level, right? At the deepest sense, you were someone else before you birthed children, weren't you? Who were you? Because you're always looking to the external to figure out who you are. You're always looking to other people or your accomplishments or your pay

or your job or what is it you do or your name tag to figure out who you actually are. But at your core level, that's not who you are. Right? If I say I'm Rob Dial, that's just a bunch of, you know, sounds that were put together and given to me at birth. I wasn't Rob Dial when I was born though. So who am I? Oh shit, let's get really deep, right? At a core level, who are you? This is why so many people have so much trouble when their children leave and they become empty nesters is because they are, they're like for years, for 18, 20, 25, 30, 40 years, sometimes they have identified themselves as a parent. Well, then when their children leave and they don't have somebody to parent, they're always like, well, who the hell am I? And it becomes

this big wake up, like, I don't know who I am. Right? Because people base who they are based off of the external, not the internal. We base it off of other people's perceptions as well. We base everything off of other people's perceptions or the external, but none of those things are actually who you truly are. You weren't a parent when you were four years old, were you? Hmm. So being a parent is something that you've done. It's something that you've accomplished. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being a parent, but you weren't a parent when you were four years old. So who are you? You know, I wasn't a Ford Raptor driver when I was four years old either. These are all just external things that we've accomplished over time or gotten over time. So you have to stop basing who you are off of other people's perceptions of you or external

accomplishments or things about you. Now, this might be really messing with some of your minds, but when you really get it, you can actually see how powerful it is. Because if you are none of those things that you actually think that you are, then what are you? You know, are you just a spiritual being or a soul or whatever you want to call it? That's just inhabiting this meat suit called your body, right? Think about that. And this is why it's so messed up. And this is why we could go so deep into it, right? I'll give you a really

good example through a story and how this can change, how this, this little tiny mini perception can completely change your life, right? There's a story about this kid and he's in the 11th grade and he's been failing all of his class, ninth grade, 10th grade, barely getting into the next grade. And his parents are called in because he has this, you know, he's about to have to probably redo the 11th grade. He's getting terrible grades. He's not showing up at school. He's not hanging out with the right kids, all of that stuff. And his mom forces him to go take the SAT because she's like, I really want you to get education. I really want you to turn your life around. And he's like, it doesn't make any sense. I'm stupid. I fail all of my tests. I've never gotten good grades. I'm barely getting

by at all times. And I'm not showing up to school because I know how stupid I am. She's like, just go and take the SAT. So he goes and takes the SAT. And for those of you guys that aren't in America, SAT is just a test that you have to take in order to get to college. And he takes the SAT. And for those of you guys that aren't in America, SAT is just a test that you have to take in order to get to college. And he takes the SAT. This stupid kid, quote unquote, stupid kid, failing in school, not showing up, not hanging out with the right people, gets a 1480 out of 1600, which is, that's like the top 5%. He gets a 1480 out of 1600. He gets such a good grade to show him how smart he is. His mom actually thought he cheated, but he didn't cheat. And he realized he didn't cheat. He knew he didn't cheat. And he

went, oh my God, I'm actually smarter than I thought I was. What the hell have I been doing? And so he looks at this and says, I'm smarter than I thought I was. Maybe I, if I did so well in the SATs, imagine what would happen if I started studying. So he starts waking up earlier so that he can study. He starts changing who he's hanging out with. He starts showing up to school more because he's like, oh my gosh, if I'm smart, maybe I can actually do better. And he changes his entire life around, starts getting amazing grades, gets into an Ivy League school, becomes a super successful entrepreneur, right? And here's the crazy thing about it. Every 12 years, the SATs, what they do is they review all of their

tests and they go through them. And when they went back through this guy's tests, he got something in the mail that said that he actually didn't get a 1480. What he got was a 740. What happened was the machine accidentally doubled his score. So he got a 740 out of 1600, which is not good, but he thought he got a 1480. But because of the fact that his little, literally a couple numbers on a piece of paper changed his entire perception of who he thought he was. He started showing up differently. He started realizing that he was smart. He started taking time to wake up earlier. He changed the people he was around. He started studying for his exams. He started going to school and paying attention more and taking all of the notes that he needed to. His perception of himself changed based off of seeing

a few numbers on a piece of paper. And what happened? Because his perception of his self changed, he changed. Now think about how powerful that is for that person to change their life completely based off of literally four numbers on a piece of paper. Think about all of the things in your life that you've been basing your life off of, what people have said about you, what people have done, the things that you've done, the accomplishments that you have or haven't had, right? You can be literally whoever you want to be. If this kid is failing out of school and can get into an Ivy League school and become a successful entrepreneur based off of four numbers on a piece of paper, you can be literally whoever the fuck you want to be. So who do you want to be? Because this entire episode, all I've been talking about,

how all of the things that you think you are, are complete BS. So if that's the truth, then who do you want to be? You can wake up every single day and decide who you want to be. And I don't mean I want to be somebody who's a millionaire. I want to be somebody who has accomplished this.

I want to be somebody who's driving a Ferrari. I want to be someone who's got an amazing family. I want to be an amazing parent. I'm not talking about any of those things. I'm talking about, those are all still external. And this is why want to be somebody who's driving a Ferrari. I want to be someone who's got an amazing family. I want to be an amazing parent. I'm not talking about any of those things I'm talking about. Those are all still external. And this is why it can be hard because we base our literally our entire perception of everything based off external. I want to turn it to internal. Who do you want to be before you walk out of your door, get out of your bed? Who do you want to be internally before any of those things come up to you? Right? Do you want to be kind? Do you want to be loving? Do you want to be humble? Do you want to be sweet? Do you want to be internally before any of those things come up to you? Right? Do you want to be kind?

Do you want to be loving? Do you want to be humble? Do you want to be sweet? Do you want to be generous? Who do you want to be at every single moment of your life? And how do you want to show up for other people before the accomplishments, before people see, before people decide who you are, right? You decide who you want to be. No one else.

What you do is the same way that when you get in your car and go to a place that you've never been before, what do you do? You get your phone out and you set your GPS. You want to figure out how to go from where you are to where you want to be. You set your GPS. So if you wake up every single morning and you say, who do I want to be today? I want to be kind. I want to be loving. I want to be sweet. I want to be generous. I want to be giving. I want to stop judging people. I want to think the best of people that I possibly can. And you set your GPS, your mental GPS, your internal GPS for who you want to be. It changes how you show up in the world. And you realize that other people's perceptions of you have literally nothing to do with you, but you've been basing your entire

life based off of your accomplishments and other people's perception. And when you're so firm into who you truly are, other people's perceptions mean nothing to you. Outside circumstances mean nothing to you. They don't change you in any sort of way. So what you need to do is you need to get a pen and paper out and say, who do I want to be? You decide who you want to be. And then every single morning, you mentally set your GPS to become that person and see what happens in your life and how your life starts to change the exact same way that when that little boy got a piece of paper that said four numbers on it, it completely changed the trajectory of his entire life. Imagine if he didn't get that. Imagine if he got the real results where he could be. The exact same thing is true for you. What you see on that piece of paper of who you want to be,

how you set your GPS is going to change where your life goes from this moment forward. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love. Please put on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. The only way this episode and this podcast continues to grow is you guys sharing it. So I greatly, greatly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart every single time that you share it. And I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission, make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.