The Mindset Mentor - You Have Been Programmed

Episode Date: November 4, 2019

If someone cusses, does it offend you? If so, have you ever asked yourself why? See, since the moment we come into this world we are programmed. It's not a bad thing, it's just the way the world is. In this episode, I want to talk about your programming and teach you how to unravel all your programmings.Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. Today I'm going to be talking about cussing. Believe it or not, we're going to talk about that. And I want to talk about it because I think it's super important for people to really think about the act of cussing and how it relates to our programming. So, you know, the thing about it is, and the reason why I want to talk about this is because I am going to, you know, I cuss all the time, if I'm honest with you. I don't cuss on the podcast very often. But the reason why is just because people have reached out to me and said, hey, listen, you know, I love listening to your podcast with my kids. And I love that. And I want to tell you this, that there's over 600 episodes that I don't cuss at all in. And, uh, it, those will be up forever. You can always listen to

those. So if you get to the point where you're like, man, I don't, I don't want cussing to happen. I don't want to listen to cussing when I'm in the, the, the episode or listen to listening in when I'm in the car with my children. No worries. Completely understand. I understand that completely. You can go back and listen to any of the 600 episodes where there's no cussing at all. But I felt like there was a part of my authenticity that was not coming out. You know, if I can't, if I stop myself, which you've heard me do, you've heard me stop myself in the middle of about to say something and I say this freaking thing. There's a part of me that has to hold back and not my full expression of myself is coming

through. But then also I have to stop myself in flow of what I'm talking about to then think about not offending other people. And that's what I really want to talk about is the act of being offended by words and the act of being programmed to be offended by other things, not just words, but other things. So I'm going to use cussing as an example in this podcast episode, but realize that this goes for everything that's in your life because we're programmed 100% by our childhood, mostly by our parents, and mostly from zero to six years old. They say from zero to six years old, you are 95% of the person that you're going to be. Now, it's not saying that you can't go back and do a lot of self work on yourself and maybe do some meditations and some plant medicines and

some journaling as a personal growth to try to change that 95%. But for most people, it's about 95% of who you're going to be by be by the time that you are six years old. And so let's dive into it. I will be cussing and I'm not going to hold myself back. So I apologize. Those of you guys that have kids, I love you. I love your kids. I think it's amazing. You have 600 episodes to listen to. Go back and listen to all of the episodes before this if you want to. But when you're alone and your kids aren't with you, after you drop them off at school, turn on all the new ones. Let's start cussing with each other. Let's be authentic and be our full expression of ourselves. And so I want to talk with this because I remember that I

was, and I may have mentioned this before, but my mom and her sisters came out and visited me. She's got three sisters. They came out and visited me in Austin about four months ago. And, uh, and one of them said, you know, I was, I was telling a story and I, you know, said the word shit or something. I don't know. I said shit. And one of them was like, Oh, you know, you don't have to say shit. And I was like, yeah, no, I know. I don't have to say shit. But at the same time, if, uh, like what's, what's the problem of me saying it? And they're like, well, it's just an unnecessary word. It's rude.

I was like, okay, cool. Well, I was like, can we dive into that? Can I ask you guys some questions? Because I'm really curious. It wasn't me trying to antagonize anybody, but I was like, I just want to make them aware of this. And they're like, yeah, sure. Let's dive into it. So I said, okay.

So I said the word shit. And they're like, yeah, sure. Let's dive into us. Okay. You know, so, so I said the word shit and in what, what about that word? Like what, what about that word makes it, uh, feel different than all of the other words that are in the sentence? Like, well, you know, it's, it's, it's a derogatory word. I'm like, okay, what makes it derogatory? Well, it makes it derogatory because you know, if you listen to the radio, they, they would cut, they would, you know, you know, chop out the word shit if they were in there okay okay so so so what makes it derogatory though and then it gets to the point where they're like I don't know what makes it derogatory I'm like right what makes

it derogatory is that somebody once said I don't like that word and I'm going to be offended by it and that word isn't as good as the other ones. And, you know, and then one of the other sisters had said, uh, you know, some of the lines of like, um, you know, well, cussing, cussing doesn't, you don't sound as intelligent when you, when you cuss, that's what it was. It makes you sound less intelligent. I said, okay, according to who they said, well, you know, that's what I think. And I said, okay, where did you learn that from? And they said, well, you know, I've, I've just heard it before. I said, who did you learn that the cussing was unintelligent? And they said, we learned it from our mom, my grandma, who I love. She's incredible human. You know, she passed away a

few years ago, but I said, okay, so you learned from your mother when you were younger that unintelligent people cuss. Is that right? And they said, yes. I said, is that how she used to say it? Yeah. She used to say that people that are, you know, you sound stupid when you cuss, unintelligent people cuss. And so what happens is they have this programming. Once again, there's nothing wrong with this. This is, this is everybody has programming some sort of way. And it's about becoming aware of our programming first, because a lot of times we get offended by something. And then when somebody asks you, why did you get offended by it?

There's no answer. And we don't know why we're offended. We're offended because we were told at one point in time to be offended or for that word to piss us off or for somebody to call this group of people. This is supposed to piss us off. And if you don't get pissed off by this, then you're not one of us because you're supposed to be offended with us, whatever that is, you know? And, and so what you have to realize is that it's like Eleanor Roosevelt says, I almost said Eleanor Rigby for those of you guys that are

Beatles fans. It's like Eleanor Roosevelt says, you know, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. So if somebody says a word and it offends you, it's not their fault that the word offends you. It's your fault that the word offends you. Now, this might be pushing some people's buttons, but let me say that again. If somebody says a word and it offends you, it is not their fault that it offends you. It is your fault that it offends you. And when you give up the lack, I'm sorry, when you give up the control that you have of the way that you feel to somebody else based on the words that they say or the actions that they take, you lose your own personal control of your freaking life. Does it make sense? So you have to realize that a word is literally

just a mumbling, a sound coming out of someone's face at its most basic form. What I'm doing right now, you're listening to me make, make sounds out of my face, right? That's really what it is. So what's the difference between me saying puppy and me saying shit that some of you guys, it does nothing to you, but some of you, and I want to work through you guys that are doing this. Some of you get that feeling of, Oh, like there's a tightness in your chest. There's a tightness in your stomach and your body is actually reacting to a word. And you go, man, that's like, that's like my body's protecting itself from something. What is it? What is it protecting itself? Why do I feel a feeling based on a sound coming out of somebody's face?

Because at its core, that's what it is. It's a sound coming out of my face. And you are allowing yourself to be offended and you're allowing somebody else to take control of your mind and your body and your own personal control over everything that you do by giving away that to them and allowing them to say a word that offends you and makes you feel bad. So just think about that for a second. And now, once again, I'm using cussing as an example. This doesn't have to just be cussing. This could be anything. This could be

somebody says something to you. It doesn't have to be cussing, but they can call you a word. They can call you a phrase. They can speak to you in a certain way. They can talk down to you. And something inside of you reacts to it. And if there's a reaction, that's a programming. Where did that programming come from? And you have to ask yourself, does it serve? If your programming serves you, keep it. There's nothing wrong with being programmed at all. But if you feel like the programming doesn't serve you,

where maybe you can't sit down with somebody, you know, like you can't sit down with Tony Robbins who cusses like crazy and he would want to have an hour-long conversation with somebody, you know, like you can't sit down with, with Tony Robbins who cusses like crazy and he would want to have an hour long conversation with you, but you're so distracted by the cussing that he does the entire time that you can't even get the true message. It's like, as if he had a booger on his face and you're staring at the booger the entire time, you're not paying attention to the actual stuff that he's saying and the advice he's trying to help you change your life with. It's the same thing, but instead of physical, it's auditory. You're listening to words come out of his mouth and you're allowing those words to distract you from

the true essence of what he's actually saying. That's what's happening is at one point in time, we learned from somebody else that a certain mumbling or a certain sound coming out of somebody's face was wrong. And so you have to go back to the root of it and say, wait, hold on. So was I programmed to believe this? And programming is another word for taught. Was I taught to believe that these words were wrong? How did my parents talk about these words being wrong? Right? And it could be anything. Once again, it doesn't have to just be cussing. I'm just using a cussing example. But if somebody says something to you and you're offended by it, or if they say something to you in a certain way and you're offended by it, you're giving up all

of your control to somebody else. You know, one of my favorite ways of thinking about this is I remember one of my friends was, I was at a meeting where one of my friends was speaking and he said, you know, he was really going through a lot of stuff. He was and he said, you know, he was, he was really going through a lot of stuff. He had a, he was about 24, 25 years old and he was running a million dollar business, made a ton of money. And from the outset, everybody thought he was, he was so happy, so successful. Everything's amazing. And he's on a, a walk outside with his mentor who's in his forties and his mentor's name is Travis. And he's on a walk outside with him. And, uh, and you know, Travis asked him, he said, man, like, how's, how's everything going?

Everything looks amazing. And he's like, man, if I'm being honest, like every time I just get a customer service email that just says this product broke, this product sucks or whatever it is, he's like, I just want to shut it down. So he's like a millionaire at 24, 25 years old. And he wants to shut his company down. And he goes, that's interesting. He goes, so you just want to shut it down when you get a customer service email? And he's like, yeah, man, I just get this feeling. He goes, that's because you're insecure. And he's like, what do you mean that's because I'm insecure? He goes, basically what it is, I'll give you an example. We're walking down the street. If a lady came up to you right now and she looked at you in the face, dead in the face,

example. We're walking down the street. If a lady came up to you right now and she looked at you in the face, dead in the face, pointed at you and said, you have pink hair. What would you do? He's like, I don't know. I'd probably think that she was crazy. He goes, why not? Why would you think that she's crazy? He goes, I would think she's crazy because I don't have pink hair. He goes, okay. So when someone says something to you that you don't think is true, you don't get offended by it. But if somebody says something to you that you think is true, what they're doing is they're shining a spotlight on your insecurities. They're literally showing you what you are insecure about. And so you don't know, you don't think that you have pink hair and you don't. And that's why you're not offended. But if someone

says your product sucks, maybe that's because you're insecure about the way you feel about yourself running business. You might feel insecure about your product. You might feel insecure about your customer service. You might feel insecure about something, but your insecurities, that person saying that to you, it's not their fault. It's your fault. What they're doing is they're being a light to you to show you where your insecurities are. And that's important to know because sometimes we get offended and Everybody wants to be offended nowadays. Oh, God, it's like so easy to freaking be offended. It's like, oh, oh, my gosh, this person smells a certain way.

I'm offended. This person walked to that side road. I'm offended. It's so freaking easy to be offended, right? It's hard to keep your composure. Which one are you going to be doing? That's what you have to think about. That's what you have to consider in your own personal life. So what I want you to do listening to this is if you're offended by cussing, why is that?

Go to the root of your programming. And if you're not offended by cussing, what I want you to do is I want you to start thinking about these things. What other places in your life do you notice programming how are you programmed because there's so many little teeny tiny things there's so many reasons why someone grows up and they say oh my gosh I'm just like my mom yeah you are because you you learned how to be a freaking human from your mom you've gotten so many you were taught so many different things you're programmed in so many different ways even if someone wasn't sitting there, you know, trying to be evil. Because when someone says, oh, you're programmed, they think that they were like evil.

Your mom was in the background being super evil, trying to get you to be this way. No, they're just trying to raise you to be a good human. They were doing the best they could with what they have. But all of us are programmed in some sort of way. Maybe you're programmed by the fact that you think that you're always going to run out of money because your parents always were poor. Because your parents always fought about, you know, money or because your mom resented your dad because the fact that he never paid child support or whatever it is. There's so many different ways that were programmed. I realized that I had a bunch of money

issues because my mom had money issues because her dad had money issues. And it's just, it's just programmed into us. It's not that she ever directly said anything to me. It's that I heard her and saw her talk and say things about money in certain ways that just kind of went straight into my head. And so for you, what I want you to think about is how am I programmed? This isn't about cussing at all. If I'm being honest with you, I just wanted to use cussing as the example. But how are you programmed? Where did it come from? And what do you need to do to get past it if it doesn't serve you anymore? That's the important thing to think about. If it doesn't serve you, it needs to go. And you need to focus on a way to get past it. So that's what I got for you for

today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it with someone that you know and love. We're currently one of the top 100 podcasts in the world. We're trying to get to the top 10 and we only get there because you beautiful people decide to share it with someone else that you know and love. So with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.