The Mindset Mentor - Your Brain Is Tricking You

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

Today I am going to teach you how to work pas your mind when it is tricking you.   Want to master your mindset? Every Monday I send out an email with mindset tips for the week, click here to receive that email: http://mondayemail.com/ Follow me on IG for more inspiration here: https://www.instagram.com/robdialjr/ Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube

Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. And if you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you want to improve your mindset even more, I send an email out every single Monday morning with mindset tips and tricks to going into the week, what I'm going to be doing and using on myself so that you could be able to use them as well. So if you're interested in learning more and joining the Monday Mindset

email, go to mondayemail.com right now. It is absolutely free. Once again, mondayemail.com, and I will send you an email every single Monday morning. Today, I'm going to be teaching you how your brain is tricking you. Now, I know we all think that we're so smart. We think that we're so in control. We think that we've got it all figured out. We think that our opinions are basically the result of years of rational and objective analysis. So with our opinions, we must be the right one. And this is important for everybody to hear right now because the one thing that I'm starting to see more and

more of is this side thinks they're better than this side, and this side thinks they're more right than this side. And it all comes because of their beliefs, but then also their opinions as well. And we think, oh yeah, no, my opinions are correct. It is rational and objective analysis that has brought me to my opinions and my beliefs. And I'm here to teach you that's a load of bullshit. And I'm going to teach you exactly why that is. The truth is, your opinions are a result of years of paying attention to information that confirms how you believe while ignoring the info that challenges your perceptions. Let me say that one more time just for the people in the back. Your opinions are the result of years of you paying attention to only the things that confirm your beliefs

while ignoring the information that challenges your opinions. You're literally seeing only the things and allowing the things into your brain that make you feel like you're a rat, but you're missing all of the things that prove you wrong. And that's the crazy part about it. That's what a lot of people nowadays need to hear is you think you got it figured out, but a lot of times what you're doing is you're only paying attention to what makes you feel like you're right. Another problem besides, you know, only reading and paying attention to those things is the people that we hang out with. Most of the time, you're only hanging out with other people who think the same as you. Your friends. And that's why a lot of people, when you go home to your

family, people who you are stuck with, it turns into a shit show. Why? Because literally your family is people that you didn't choose, are people that you didn't choose to be around. And so they might have a completely different perspective than you. And you have to listen to it. And why do people get so triggered and so pissed off? Because people hate to find out that they might be wrong and they will fight to be right. And that's what we're going to talk about today. And another piece of that is besides the people that you choose to hang out with are the ones that think the same as you. If you're watching the news, you're literally paying attention to only the news. If you are, you know, let me give an example. If you're a Democrat, I'm pretty sure you're not watching Fox News example. If you're a Democrat, I'm pretty

sure you're not watching Fox News. And if you're a Republican, I'm pretty sure you're not watching CNN. You're only watching that which confirms your current beliefs. So you got the opinions and thoughts that you have. You've got the friends and you've got the news. Now there's another piece on top of it. When you go online, you're probably only following the same people that think the same as you. No matter what side you're on, whether it's just Democrat, Republican, whether it's any of the other things that are going on in the world, which there's so many of them, this is why I never give my opinion for anything because I'm not here to give my opinion. The last thing that the world needs is another person's opinion.

I believe that people should be able to believe and have opinions for whatever it is that they want. And I know that if I was in the exact same circumstances, every single second of their life going through exactly what they went through, I would have the exact same opinions and beliefs that they do. So I am not here to preach my beliefs or tell people what they should do. I'm trying to make people aware of why they might be the way that they are and how they can break outside of it so they can become a different person. So if you're out there and you're only following people that believe the same as you, maybe you should try to put yourself outside of your box a little bit. And here's what's crazy. You're also reading the articles that believe the same thing that you do. There was an Ohio State study in 2009, found out that people spend 36% more time reading essays that align with their opinions.

So they will actually read more of the things that make them feel like they're right. Why is this bad? Because you never see the other side of the street. You never see the other side. And street. You never see the other side. And here's what's crazy. If you're searching for something, Facebook's going to know that you're searching for this thing. Even if you're searching on Google, Facebook's going to know that you're searching for it. You're going to get pixeled in some sort of way when you hit a certain, you know, there's a whole lot of way Facebook ads work, but you get pixeled when you go onto a certain news page and they're going to know you went onto that page. And now they're going

to give you more of that thing. They make money, Facebook, for instance, Instagram, TikTok, all those things. They make money when you stay on their platform and you see their ads. That's the way that they make money. And they will give you more of what they know you want. So you're only going to see even more of the things that make you feel like you're right. So you're literally getting hit from all angles. You've got your own mind. You've got the people that you hang out with. You've got the news that you consume. You've got the people that you follow. And now when you go onto those websites, you're going to be hit with more of that. You're literally living in an echo chamber of your own beliefs and opinions.

an echo chamber of your own beliefs and opinions. So here's what's crazy though. Most people are so firm in their beliefs that anybody outside of their belief, anybody that says something different than their beliefs will upset them. And you can physically feel it too. Like there's a lot of times where you can have somebody come up and say something to you that is different than what you truly believe and it shakes the foundation of your beliefs and you can feel the anger or the rage or whatever it is that you might have inside of you start to come up. That's why you see adults, grown adults, that literally have other children and they pay their bills and they have a job and they, you know, shower themselves and they somehow pay their bills.

You see adults acting like children in the comments of YouTube and Facebook and Instagram. Why? Because they like being told what they already know. We all like being told what we already know. We don't like our information to change. And what this comes down to is something called confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is literally a clinical term and is a psychological term where we like to, we have a bias to go towards things that confirm what we already believe. We don't like to be challenged. We like to be told what we already know. And that makes us feel good. But how ridiculous is that though, if you really think about it? If you think that everything that you

know is right, and there's nothing outside of you you and there's no way that the other side, the left or the right or that opinion or this opinion could be correct and you're 100% right, how insane is that to think that you know everything? Now, consciously, you know how insane that sounds, right? Saying, but no, I'm definitely not like that. I'm not like that at all. Like, I believe that, you know, I trust, I listen to other people's opinions and I listen to other, and I hang out with people who think differently. But when someone brings up a big issue that you believe in and you have someone tell you that you're wrong, then see how you react. That's the moment when you realize that, you know, it's in that moment and you and how you spend your time and who you spend your time with

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I looked up coffee and I said, I wonder if I can Google right now, is coffee bad for your heart? If there's any articles that support that. And I Googled it and guess what I came up with? Articles that show that coffee is bad for your heart. But then I Googled, is coffee good for your heart? And guess what I found? I found articles that show that coffee is good for your heart and you can potentially live longer. So hold on, on this thing called the internet, which we all spend a lot of our time on, I can find whatever information I want to support my own beliefs. If I'm like, you know what, coffee is amazing because I love coffee and I'm addicted to. If I'm like, you know what? Coffee's amazing because I love

coffee and I'm addicted to coffee. I'm going to Google, is coffee good for my heart? And it's going to be like, coffee's good for your heart, Rob. Keep drinking that shit. I'm going to be like, yes, I'm going to keep drinking it, right? It supports my beliefs. Now, if I'm like, you know what? I'm giving up coffee. We've all seen people do this. Someone decides they want to go vegan diet. They want to go carnivore diet. They want to go keto. They want to go whatever the hell, Whole30, all of these things. And they Google why this thing's good for them and they get the answer that they were looking for. And now, the most righteous are the newly converted. So those are the people who are like, this thing is right. This thing is right. So let's say someone's like, you know what? I've been really anxious lately. I'm going to give

up coffee. I feel like I'm starting to get a little bit of heartburn. Let me Google it. Is coffee bad for your heart? Holy shit. Coffee's bad for your heart. Now I tell everybody that I know that they should get off of coffee. And then I was like, you know what? Let me just go another step further instead of heart. Cause that's an easy one, right? Obviously it's going to raise your blood pressure. It's going to make your heart work a little bit more. That could be good or bad. I was like, you know what? Is coffee good for your eyes? I found an article. I found multiple articles that said coffee is good for your eyes. And then I Googled, is coffee bad for your eyes? Guess what I found? Articles that say coffee is bad for your eyes. So if it's this simple with coffee, do you think that there's other things

that are popping up in our lives where we're literally like, you know what? This is vegan, the best thing. Vegan's the best diet. And I Google and it pops up and shows me all of the reasons why vegan's the best diet. And then someone on the other side is like, well, carnivore diet's the best diet. Let me Google it. Is carnivore diet the best diet? So what happens is we're actually going online and searching for confirmation of our beliefs, confirmation bias.

Pretty wild, right? of our beliefs, confirmation bias. Pretty wild, right? Now, we can roll that into another cognitive bias, which is called choice support bias. When we make a decision, we will only see the positives in that decision and not the negative. This is where it gets pretty wild, right? So when we make a decision on something, even if that ends up being a bad decision, we will justify our stupid decision because it's the decision that we decided to make, right? So like I have an iPhone and I have a friend who will not switch from Samsung, you know? And so we have these little conversations and he will tell me why Samsung is the best thing and that iPhone's so dumb that so many people are on iPhone and they're stuck inside of the system and all of this stuff. And then I bring an article to him,

a conversation that I heard of these two guys talking about how anything that's on Samsung is, anything that's on Android is about 10 times more likely to be hacked and your information is 10 times less likely to be safe. He's like, that's bullshit, right? Like it immediately pops up. Now, if he comes to me and he tells me, oh, iPhones have a problem with this, this, this, this, well, I'll be like, well, the pictures are better or the ecosystem makes it worth it. So we will always justify our decisions. That's just the way that it goes. This happens with political parties. You know, if we want to take an easy example, Democrats versus Republicans, you know, one party does something wrong and they'll look over it.

And then they'll still explain why their party's better. And then the president that they vote for does something stupid or does something shitty and they'll miss it and be like, well, you know, he's still the better president, the last one or the other one, the one before that, the one before that. Even if it's blatantly obvious that whatever that person is doing and that president could suck or the person they voted for sucks, they will look over all the things that make them suck and bring up all the reasons why they're better. They won't look at the actual reason as to why that person could be not really good in the position they're in. This could be for president, this could be for mayor, this could be for whatever it is, this could be local voting. So why do we do this? Why do we feel like we have to justify

a decision even if it's a bad decision? It's really more than anything else. It's an egoic thing. We don't like knowing that we're wrong. We don't like being told that we're wrong. We don't like someone proving that we're wrong. And we will do anything that we can to make sure that person realizes that we were not wrong and especially ourselves, that we understand that our decision was not wrong. So we tend to over-rationalize our choices, especially when they're bad. That's the interesting thing. We over-rationalize our choices when they end up being bad. But you have to know who you are. And usually, like, we really have to know who you are. And that's usually found by your choices and what you believe in. So what's the solution to all this? Because no one wants to, if you're here listening to this,

you do not want to consciously be stuck in your own way and unopened to hearing other sides of the story and eventually get old and senile and bitter, right? What do you do? What do you do in this situation? You challenge yourself. You challenge your beliefs. You challenge your thoughts. You challenge your past decisions. You challenge why it is that you believe in this party over that party, why you believe in this religion over this religion. And you start to actually really challenge yourself and go deep down into it. Be okay with being uncomfortable with your own beliefs and opinions and challenge them. And then besides challenging

them, do things differently. Allow yourself to be challenged in different ways and ways that you're not used to being challenged, that you've never been challenged. This is why a lot of people who, as they get older, they get really ridiculously firm in their beliefs. Because for 60, 70, 80 years, they've only seen the places where they've been right all the time. And so they search for the things and they talk to the people and they hang out with the people who only think the way that they are. So what do we do with all this? Say yes to things that make you comfortable. Start to try to see if you can see somebody else's side. You know, your brain doesn't change if you don't do something different, if you don't change.

Listen to people that you don't agree with and try to see their side. Stop following people who tell you what you already believe. You're creating an echo chamber. Google something different. Maybe Google why your side is wrong and see what could possibly come up with. Because we have selective perception. You miss what will prove you wrong and you only see what proves your current view correctly. The one thing that I do, I see it as a positive thing, but it could also be a downside, is I try to see every single side of every situation. Whenever there's something massive that happens in the world, I'm like, oh my God, can I challenge myself to see the other side of this and try to play devil's advocate for almost everything? So if you have like, you know what, you're a Republican and you try to see, could you justify why these things on the other side, the Republicans or the Democrats side could

be right? If you're a Democrat, could you see how some of the things on the Republican side are right? And challenge yourself to see if you can start to agree with things that you didn't agree with before. What would make somebody make that decision? If I had the exact same life as this person growing up, would I make the exact same decision as them? The answer is yes, of course you would. We all would. That's just the way that it goes. And so what I want you to do is I want you to become aware of, first off, confirmation bias. We all have it. I want you to be aware of selective perception. I want you to be aware of the whole idea of the cognitive biases that is also choice supportive

bias and trying to justify these things. And allow yourself to be more fluid in the way that you think. Allow yourself to see if you can think differently because ultimately, more than anything else, what we need right now is more people who are just open to seeing the other side, more people who are open to having a civil conversation, stop bickering like little children and go, you know what? Damn, I do see like if I was in their situation, if I did have their life, I could probably make the same decision as them. That alone, challenging this thing that you think is so concrete when really there's nothing concrete about it. It's just a belief. It's just an opinion. Challenging all of those is the best thing we all can do to hopefully start to unite us more.

So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode and you feel like other people need to hear this, please do me a favor, share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it. I look at every single one of the ones that I'm tagged in. I don't always respond. I apologize. I've got a lot of people that tag me in things, but I always love to see what you guys are doing, where if you're driving in your car when you're listening to this, if you're on a run, whatever it might be, whatever you have to say about it, I look at all of them. So if you would please tag me in it, once again, it's RobDialJr on Instagram, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single podcast episode,

make it your mission to make someone else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.