The Moth - 25 Years of Stories: Seven Deadly Sins

Episode Date: August 19, 2022

This week, we take a look back at a magical Moth live show. This episode is hosted by Sarah Austin Jenness. Host: Sarah Austin Jenness Live Host: Andy Borowitz Storytellers: Zeroboy explores gluttony in audio. Erica Jong gets a meat and fish delivery from an ex. This episode is dedicated to the memory of Katie Sanderson, who ran The Young Lions program in 2006, and later came to work with us at The Moth.

Attention Houston! You have listened to our podcast and our radio hour, but did you know the Moth has live storytelling events at Wearhouse Live? The Moth has opened Mike's storytelling competitions called Story Slams that are open to anyone with a five-minute story to share on the night's theme. Upcoming themes include love hurts, stakes, clean, and pride. GoodLamoth.org forward slash Houston to experience a live show near you. That's theMoth.org forward slash Houston. Welcome to The Moth Podcast. I'm Sarah Austin-Geness, the Moth's executive producer. Every week in 2022, the Moth has been celebrating its 25th anniversary by revisiting our history,

counting down year by year. In 2006, the Moth took the main stage out on our first ever ten city Moth Storytour, and story slams expanded to Los Angeles. I had also just finished my first year on staff at the Moth, and I'll never forget this one wild 2006 main stage. We decided to present the seven deadly sins, a night with seven stories for seven sins, a story for every sin, only for Moth members,

along with the New York Public Library's Young Lions, a group of literary-minded New Yorkers in their 20s and 30s. When word of our plan hit the streets, our phones rang off the hook, with people begging to become Moth members just to get in the room. I was picking up these phones and trying to negotiate with the pledge numbers going through the roof. Thank God. And the theater capacity was filled to the brim in minutes. And the night of, there was such buzz

and we were so overly sold out that I had a very nice conversation with the, as I remember, very cute fire marshal who came to the New York Public Library to make sure everyone was safe. I did my best to speak with him in hushed tones as I stared at his fire acts and tried to keep the door closed to preserve the sound recording. Andy Borowitz hosted this memorable show, and today we'll hear from him and feature two of the seven stories told that night. Gluttony told by Vocal Cartoonist Zero Boy,

and Lust told by writer Erica Zhang. Live from the Seven Deadly Sins in 2006 at the New York Public Library, here's Andy Grayerts. Applause. Welcome to the Moth. The Seven Deadly Sins is a co-production of the Moth and the Young Lions. So let's hear it for them. Yes.

And tonight's show is The Seven Deadly Sins. And I know I learned them in college. So let me see if I can remember. They are envy, anger, greed, gluttony, pride, sloth, and lust. That's not bad. OK. I Googled it this afternoon. I did.

I actually Googled investment banking, and then just went, I'm feeling lucky. And that's what came up. Now, by way of introducing all of our storytellers, I asked them all the same questions. They would give their answer, which would give you some idea of what their personalities are like. And the question I asked is there are seven deadly sins, but if you could nominate an eighth

sin, what would that be? All right, we have a real special treat. We have special guests coming up. He's going to tell a story, but it's a completely different kind of story. It's almost more of a soundscape, if you can wrap your brains around that. And I asked him what he thought the eighth deadly sin should be, and he said intolerance. So with that, let's hear it for three, four. One, two, glot knee, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Yes! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la- Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Now, may we introduce you to some of our desserts? Perhaps you'd like some coffee or tea? I was really wondering about that death by chocolate. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, plat, I was wondering, could I see the bill please?

Money, money, money, glad knees! Thank you. Zero boy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's all I think. That just be such a good thing to do. Our last storyteller, I asked her what she thought the eighth deadly sentence should be,

and she said, shopping. Good one. Good one. Erica Jong. I'm married currently to my fourth husband for 17 years, but I had a lot of fun in between marriages. And one of the people I had fun with was a fellow named Dart. I now call him the meat van man.

Both my daughter and I have used him extensively in our books. In fact, we fight over who gets to use him in the next book. Anyway, when I knew Dart, I was about 39, and he was about 26, or 25, or 24 24 or 23, I'm not sure. And he was tall and buff and he had icy blue eyes and he worked out at the gym all the time and he was extremely handsome and an out of work actor. And he was, we would say, we would call it indefatigable in bed.

Indefatigable in bed is once, twice, three times, four times, five times, some days, seven. And I was madly in love with him. I thought. Now remember, this is a story about lust. I was asked which seven deadly sin I wanted and I said lust. That may be typecasting, but I decided if you can't fight him, join him. So I'm lust, okay?

So, Dart was adorable. I thought he was adorable. He came into my life. He was driving a strange truck. He came for tea on a Sunday afternoon. He slid off my driveway into a snow bank, and he stayed the night. And the next night, and the next night, and the next night,

and before we knew it, Dart had been living with me for five years. He had my credit cards. I had bought him a car. He was a very expensive habit. But finally, I went to AA with Dart because Dart was a drug addict, and I decided I would get him sober, and Dart discovered that he was a drug addict, and I discovered that Dart was my drug.

And so little by little, I broke up with Dart. I broke up with Dart and years passed, and I married a very nice man who gave me his credit cards and his car. And it was an amazing transformation for me because all my life I had paid for men. And it was charming not to have to do that anymore. It was love.

So anyway the years passed and I'm happily married for 15 years to a very nice lawyer and I'm taking a little nap in my house in Connecticut where my bedroom is on the first floor, and I'm sort of taking a little nap, which is unlike me, because I'm extremely manic and I never sleep, and the doorbell rings, and I'm not wearing my glasses, and I sort of wander to the door, and I open it, and there's this large blurry person about six foot six with an enormous pot belly and it's saying I can't believe it baby you don't recognize me and I put

on my glasses and it's dark with a pot belly except that his shoulders are hunched and he's got kind of waddles and he doesn't look the way he looked when I met him in that gym in Darien in 1984. And I say, hey, how are you? How's it going? How's it hanging, Dart? And he says, baby, I lost the only woman I ever loved. And I say, who is that? Baby, can I sit down at the dining room table?

Sure, sure, sit down. So he sits down at the dining room table? Sure, sure, sit down. So he sits down at the dining room table and he says, the only woman I ever loved you and I screwed it up and I want to come back. And I say, dark, you know, I'm married, I have a kid, I have a good marriage, it's nice, get the fuck out of here and stop interfering with my life. And he says, he says, yes, I lost the only woman I ever loved. And now I'm married, I'm married to Melissa, she has, foot nine, and she's got humongous tits, and she's had two babies, and I don't know if they're mine,

and I have to support them, and I'd love to bring them to meet you. So I get the whole picture. Dart wants credit cards for both his kids. Dart wants a car with two car seats in the back that will be safe in the great state of Connecticut where you can get arrested for not having car seats. It was so much easier when I was young, you know. Anyway, we have this long conversation, and I tell him I'm not interested,

and I don't want to meet his kids, and he should tie himself to the mast, and he says, baby, before I go, I have something, I gotta show you. Come out to my truck. So I go out to the driveway and he opens this truck and there in the back is meat. Every kind of meat you can imagine, steaks, halibut steaks, and salmon steaks, and sirloin steaks, and you name it and I say what's going on?

And he says I'm selling meat and it's fine. It's great a meat. And I said, Dart, what happened to your acting career? You don't understand. This is the meat you can only get in restaurants. It's prime. It's beyond prime. It's double prime.

And he scoops up a bunch of it, and he takes it in his arms, and he walks into my house, and he stacks it in the freezer. And I think, for me, a present, and I look up at him, and for a moment, I think, he's not what I thought. He's not a bounder.

He's not a guy who just takes your money and runs away. He really wants to give me something, meat. So I say thank you, Dart. How can I ever repay you? And he says, honey, it's about $700 worth of meat, but for you, 400. Just write the chat. And make it out to my name.

So I write the chat. I make it out to cash. That's what a really, what a sweetie I am. I make out the check for $450 450 and I give it to Dart. And he says, honey, you're the love of my life. And he gets into the truck and he goes up the hill, up the steep driveway. And he doesn't drive off the driveway

as he did on that first snowy night when he sk't drive off the driveway as he did on that first snowy night when he skidded off the driveway in order into my bed and dart is gone. My daughter and my husband come home for lunch and I'm frying crab cakes and I'm frying salmon steaks and halibut steaks and I never cooked, you know, the men in my life cook. And my daughter is looking at me very suspiciously. Because my daughter is a girl who used to panic when the nanny went off on Saturday and Sunday and look up at me and say, mama, can you cook?

But there I am, frying crab cakes. And Molly says to me, there's a secret in those crab cakes. I wonder what it is. My daughter knows me very, very well. She says, Mom, where did you get those crab cakes? I never saw you shop for groceries in our entire life together. So my husband comes home and I serve them crab cakes and crab claws and halibut steaks and you name it.

And a few days go by and they're eating this stuff and can never ask where did it come from because he's very sweet. And Molly keeps rousing me. And finally after about three days I say, well, Chip is in the meat business. And I thought I ought to help him out. We're upon, there's incredible laughter and kicking each other under the table and everybody is totally pissed about this. But they continue eating the crab cakes.

And I say that I was just trying to do a good deed and I got laughed out of town by my daughter and my husband. And in my ears, I kept hearing, you're the only girl I ever loved. You are the one. And I think about it. And I think about love and I think about lust. And I think about how convinced I was by this fish story lust and how it wasn't love, but it was seven times a day and who could tell the difference and time had hill, and I still had a freezer full of frozen fish. Eric Adon, that's our show ladies and gentlemen, good night. Thank you. What an experimental and unforgettable night. And as for our storytellers and host, Zero Boy is a vocal cartoonist and an East Village New York icon.

Renowned for his unique blend of sound and mime, the results being akin to a performed comic book. His solo comedic routines have been featured throughout the US and Europe in theaters, Vaudville, Bralask, television, radio, film, and digital media. Erica Zhang is a celebrated poet, novelist, and essayist with over 27 published books that have been influential all over the world. Erica's most popular novel, Thear of Flying, just celebrated its 49th anniversary. Never out of print, it has sold over 35 million copies in over 50

languages. She lives in New York with her husband and two poodles. Her daughter, Molly Zhang Fast, is a writer and political essayist. Andy Borowitz is an award-winning comedian and New York Times best-selling author. In 2001, he created the Borowitz Report, a satirical news column which has millions of readers around the world. In 2012, the New Yorker began publishing the Boroughitz report. As a storyteller, he's hosted the Maw from 1999 to 2009. As a comedian, he's played to sold out venues around the world, including during his national tour, Make America Not Embarrassing Again, from 2018 to 2020.

He is the first ever winner of the National Press Club's Humor Award and he lives with his family in New Hampshire. To find out more about all of our storytellers in this episode, pitch your own story and find out about Moth Membership so you too can join us at unique nights like the Seven Deadly Sins. Visit themoth.org. That's it for this episode. From all of us here at The Moth, thanks for listening and we hope you'll join us next time. Sarah Austin-Jones is a director, The Moth's executive producer, and a co-author of the best-selling

How to Tell a Story, the essential guide to memorable storytelling from The Moth, which is available now wherever you get your books. This episode of The Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Ostensheness, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Salinger. Catherine Burns directed the stories in this episode. This episode is dedicated to the memory of Katie Sanderson, who ran the Young Lions program in 2006, and later came to work with us at The Moth.

The rest of the Moth's leadership team includes Captain Burns, Sarah Haberman, Jennifer Hickson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Klucci, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Lee Ann Gully, Inge Gladowski, and Aldi Kaza. All Moth stories are true, as remembered by their storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story and everything else, go to our website, themoss.org. The Moth Podcast is presented by PIRX, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public at pirex.org.

Radio, more public at perex.org.