The Moth - Childhood Crushes: The Moth Podcast

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

This episode originally aired on January 15th, 2021On this episode, stories of childhood crushes and all the fun and embarrassment they entail.Hosted by: Chloe SalmonStorytellers:Tim searches for the perfect gift to impress his crush.Janine attempts to woo her crush with her dance moves.

Welcome to the Moth podcast. I'm your host this week, Chloe Salmon. There are few experiences as simultaneously embarrassing and thrilling as a childhood crush, whether you were brave enough to approach the object of your affections or were more of a pining from afar type. In this episode, we have two stories of childhood crushes and all of the highs and lows they entailed. My very first crush was on Kyle S in my kindergarten class. He had boy band hair, could run really fast on the playground, and just generally made my five-year-old heart beat fast. I don't think I ever had the courage to actually say one single word to him,

a crush theme that would follow me through my childhood, but I still remember getting goosebumps whenever I saw him smile. Our first storyteller was a bit braver than I was, in his pursuit of young love. Tim Lopez told this story at a New York City Grand Slam where the theme of the night was Fuel to the Fire. Here's Tim live at the Moth. All right, hello.

All right, so it was the first day of sixth grade, which was the last year of elementary school, and the quasi-romantic but completely non-sexual tension was running high. Years of simmering feelings, quieted and or unrequited crushes, and general pre-teen angst had come to a, boil in this, our last year altogether before being scattered to the winds of junior high.

Everybody knew who they liked, everybody knew who they liked, and the social orders basically could pretty much determine. And there was this crazy sense of urgency in the air, you know, like a manic, it's now we're never kind of feeling, you know, like Europe before the war. And into this powder keg of, you know, proto-hormones, walked what can only be described in today's terms as a game changer. Her name was Renica Powers, and she sauntered into our classroom, but if she'd sprung from the pages of a J. Crew catalog.

She had very long, curly blonde hair, bright blue eyes, faint dusting of freckles, and this kind of perfect smile framed by these absolutely symmetrical dimples. She was, empirically speaking, the cutest girl of all time. And in addition, she had some personality. She had panache, you know, style. And as soon as she walked into our classroom, you could practically hear the sound of our collective innocence shattering.

Every guy immediately fell into some kind of love with her, and a fierce competition ensued to see who could get her attention. Now, personally, I felt like I kind of had the inside lane on this. I was the class comedian. I don't say clown, because I feel like it demeans my work. And people really seem... You know, I knew where I stood, you know, I felt like I was respected among my peers. You know, I felt like all I really had to do to get her was turn on the proverbial charm.

Unfortunately, it became abundantly clear early on that she was more bemused than amused by my antics. I tried everything. I pulled out all the stops. I started with some physical slapstick stuff that was kind of a specialty of mine at the time. When that didn't work, I moved on to some more cerebral things, topical references, nothing.

Nothing was landing at all. And everything really hit a low point this one time, out in the playground. We were all out there. I was doing some bits. Things were working. I felt like everything was fine. I was getting laughs.

And then when it kind of died down, Renica says, in front of everybody. So, do you think you're funny? And I said, I said, well, yeah. And she says, huh. You know, I just don't think

you're quite as funny as you think you are. I mean, which is like, ouch, you know, but A, she was right, let's be real. B, who even says that, though? And, you know, C, she basically, like, dismantled my entire, you know, 12-year identity

of my own self as a human being. in one sense, which, in this perverse way, just made me like her even more and want to impress her. So, after that, I really toned down my act. I backed off quite a bit until Christmas time rolled around. It was time for the annual Secret Santa. And, you know, I pulled the name out of the hat.

I unfolded a little piece of paper, and I saw the name written in purple ink, Renica Powers, with a little heart dot over the eye. And I thought, this is perfect. This is my chance. This is my chance to impress her. And so I went home, and I told my mom, I said, Mom, you know, there's this girl that I like at school, and, you know, I have to get her a gift for Christmas and I want something that's going to really impress her. And my mom said, okay, how about jewelry?

And I said, jewelry sounds good. So we went to the mall, went to Macy's, and we picked out this brooch. It was like a gold... It was a gray brooch, all right? It was gold. It was a reindeer. And it had, like, a little red, clearly fake ruby nose.

And so I was like, all right, that's good. You know, this is seasonally appropriate. It's classies. I like it. I'm into it. We're driving home, and I just had this feeling I don't know about this, I don't know, this just doesn't have enough punch. It doesn't have enough panache. And so the next day at school, our class went to go visit the third grade class

in their exhibition of gingerbread houses, an annual tradition. And, you know, as we're all in line, I'm a few steps behind Renica on a friend, and we get to this one gingerbread house, it's very ornately decorated and festooned with these gourmet jelly beans. And Renica says to her friend, oh, my God, gourmet jelly beans. I love these. And her friends, like, what are gourmet jelly beans? And she's like, you know, they're like regular jelly beans,

except they have these, like, crazy flavors, you know, like root beer and coconut and margarine. And her face totally lights up. And she's like, I love gourmet jelly beans. And I look, and I'm like, that's it, gourmet jelly beans. I go home to my mom. I'm like, mom, we have to go to the mall. Now, I need to get gourmet jelly beans.

And my mom says, what are gourmet jelly beans? And I'm like, they're just, like, they're regular jelly beans except they have these, like, crazy flavors, you know, like margarita and pinocalada. And my mom says, are these for kids? And I said, I don't know, and I don't care. So she drives me to the mall, I go to the sweet factory, I'm about to buy a pound of jelly beans,

and then I decided by two friends. pounds of jelly beans because I'm like, this is, I'm not going to blow this for lack of jelly beans. So, I get the jelly beans. The next day is the big reveal of the secret Santa. I go over to her and I, you know, I hand her the brooch, and it's nicely wrapped and everything, and she opens the brooch, and it's a tepid response. She's like, oh yeah, it's a nice, you know, like, thanks. And I was like, and also I got you this. And it's a bag, and it's very wrapped. And she opens it, and she pulls out the jelly beans, and they absolutely killed. I just saw a look on her face change. She went from...

kind of like this neutral like, huh, to like, she literally did the, aw. And then she said, how did you know? And I said, I just knew. And she comes in to hug me. She wraps her arms around me, and we shared this kind of hug, and I feel her, like, cable-knit sweater under my hands, and her hair is like on my neck,

and I feel something in the pit of my stomach that I've never felt before. And we take a step back from each other, and she looks at me, and she gives me a look that I've definitely never seen before. And the next day, she shows up at school, wearing the brooch, and she's my girl, And, you know, it took many, many, many more years for me to realize that, you know, getting a girlfriend and keeping a girlfriend are two completely different things.

But that's a different story. Thank you very much. That was Tim Lopez. Tim Lopez is a storyteller and teaching artists from Los Angeles. His stories have been heard on public radio stations and podcasts far and wide. He is also an educator with the Moth Community and Education Program. where he works in local communities and with high school students to craft and perform true personal stories in New York City and beyond. Our stories this week gave me a very good excuse to get nosy and ask some friends to share their own experiences of past crushes.

So before we hear our next story, here's one from Moth host, Dame Wilburn. She said, his name was Marco and we were sworn enemies from fourth to eighth grade. During a school trip to the sand dunes when I was sitting with my knees bent, Marco sat in front of me and leaned his back against my legs. It was the first time a boy touched me. And 34 years later, he still crosses my mind whenever I see sand. Ooh, dame, my goodness. Truly an eighth grade romance for the ages.

Honestly, just a romance for the ages. And Marco, if you're listening, drop us a line. You can find us at Moth Stories on Instagram. Instacart makes grocery shopping easier. And just because you're not doing the shopping yourself doesn't mean you don't care how it's done. With Instacart shopper notes, you can get particular about what you want,

right in the app, like rotissory chicken that's extra crispy, cheddar that's sharp as your skates, and lettuce you'd actually pick yourself. Just leave a note for your shopper so they can get it right for you without having to ask. That way, you can get groceries just how you like. Download the Instacard app and shop today. Up next on the podcast, Janine Hilling. Janine told this story at a story slam in Melbourne, Australia,

where the theme of the night was creepy. Here's Janine live at the moth. At 13, I was a small town bogan with a bad attitude and an even worse haircut. But the man in my dreams, he was everything I wasn't. He was. He was. handsome, he was sophisticated, he was from the city, he was also 23 years old and my teacher. And look, nowadays when I think about Mr. Chow, I realize he wasn't really all that. Like he was just an average-looking guy who wore the same jump at a school every single day. And it looked like it was made out of cat hair and tinsal, but back then, that wasn't the deal-breaker that it might be today.

At first, at first I watched Mr. Chao. I loved Mr. Chow from afar. His house was just behind ours, with just a vacant block in between. And so after school, when my parents were at work, I'd stand on the back veranda with a winnie red and a pair of binoculars that I borrowed off my mum's friend, Sue. And I'd watch him. And sometimes I'd get my camera and put it in between,

like a really shit paparazzi, and try and get candid shots of Mr. Chow taking his bins out. and that was okay for a while, but eventually I decided it was time to make my feelings known. It was a risky move, but I knew just the person to help me with it. My friend Joe had an extensive collection of cosmopolitan magazines, and we were convinced these things would help us find a way for me to impress Mr. Chow and make him want to be my boyfriend.

So we read these things cover to cover, and eventually we found an article called something like 10 easy ways to sneer a man or something terrible. flying like Cosmo like that. And the way we went with was like a nightclub situation where I could use these man-eating moves that I would learn from the accompanying article to seduce the object of my desire on the dance floor.

And this was perfect, because we had a school disco coming up at the very next week. So all week I practiced my moves, and I picked out the sexiest song I could think of. And by the time the disco came around, I felt like I was ready. So there we are, me and Joe at the disco in the car park, neck half a bottle of Carrington blush.

Have a couple of quick darts, and I'll wobble up to the DJ booth, one glassy eye on Mr. Chow, who's over there in the corner, completely unaware of what is about to go down. I have a quick word with a DJ who winks and puts on my song. ACDC, you shook me all night long. With moves that look probably nothing

like the ones in Cosmo, I advanced towards Mr. Chow. And the thing I remember after all this time is just the look of pure horror on this guy's face as he saw me coming. He looked around for another teacher to help him, but everyone was busy. He was all alone.

I advanced. He retreated. I circled him like a sheep dog, eventually dancing him into the corner where he remained, presumably in a state of shock for the rest of the song and I say presumably

because by this time I was so intent on nailing my man-eating moves I wasn't even paying attention to him anymore I wasn't dancing with him I wasn't even dancing for him I was dancing at him when the song was over I turned on my heel and I walked straight out of there

because according to Cosmo this would add an air of mystery to the whole thing, and leave the object of your desire feeling like he didn't know what it hit him. So Joe joined me shortly afterwards and confirmed that A, my dance moves had been off the hook, and B, Mr. Chowd definitely looked like someone who didn't know what had hit him. I was so excited to go to school the next day. I didn't know what this was going to mean for mine and Mr. Chow's relationship, but I was pretty sure he was going to want to be my boyfriend. What I wasn't expecting was a trip to the guidance councillor's office.

He had told her everything, and he'd even had the nerve to call my dance moves bizarre and inappropriate. I was gutted. Mr. Chow did not want to be my boyfriend. I was moved to a new class pretty much immediately after that, and although I was moved to a new class, and although I still saw Mr. Chow around when he wasn't quick enough to just duck into a doorway when he saw me coming, eventually I just sort of filed that away in the part of my brain that I reserve

for all of the many humiliating things I've done in my life. But nowadays when I think about it, like part of me is just absolutely horrified that I could have done anything quite that creepy. But there's another part of me that's almost a little bit proud of that dumb, horny little dirt bag who was trying so hard to be the sassy, sophisticated dirtbag she eventually became.

That was Janine Hilling. Janine is a Melbourne-based writer and storyteller who comes from a long line of tailspiners. Her stories have been featured on ABC Radio National in Australia, and she's currently working on her first novel and a collection of short stories. Crushes, like most things from our childhood, can be kind of cringy. to reflect on. But the stories in this episode remind us to look at the golden parts as well. The butterfly rush, the vulnerability, and yes, the laughter.

In that spirit, I'll leave you with one last crush moment from Moth assistant producer, Adrian Vento. Adrian said, from fifth grade through high school, I would write all my crush's names on a hidden spot on the wall in my bedroom. We painted the room recently, but you can still see faint Sharpie underneath the white paint. Thank you to everyone who shared a moment or a story in this episode, and to you for listening. From all of us here at The Moth, have a story-worthy week. Chloe Salmon is a producer on the Moth's mainstage and StorySlam teams, a director on the main stage, and a member of the Pitch Line team.

Her favorite Moth moments come on show days. When the cardio is done, the house lights go down, and the magic settles in. This episode of The Moth podcast was produced by me, Julia Purs. Purcell with Sarah Austin Janess, Sarah Jane Johnson, and Chloe Salmon. Moth stories are true as remembered and affirmed by storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your story, and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.