The Moth - Embraces and Egg Timers: The Moth Podcast

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

In this episode, two stories about nerves and pressure, from meeting a partner’s parents, to deciding whether or not to have kids. This episode was hosted by Emily Couch. Storytellers: Gabe Woods-Lamanuzzi tries to give his girlfriend’s father a hug… to mixed results. April Gallaty deals with feeling pressured to have children. Podcast # 939 To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. Welcome to The Moth. I'm Emily Couch, and on this episode, two stories about nerves and pressure, from meeting a partner's parents to societal expectations. First up, we've got Gabe Woods Lamanutsi, who told this story at a Boston story slam

where the theme was, Guts. Here's Gabe, live at the Moth. I consider myself to be a reasonably gutsy individual. I've bungee jumped, I've skydived, both of which were immensely terrifying things. things to me. But a few things throughout my life have terrified me more. I've really gotten my boots a quakin and my timbers a shiverin more than meeting the father of any girlfriend I've ever dated. To start off, a typical male bonding has just never been a strong suit for me. I don't know anything about cars. I have lots of feelings and I like talking about my feelings.

Handshakes, utterly petrifying to me. Just thinking about them is making my hand sweat right now. and when it comes to the actual moment of the shake, I will find some way to just turn it into calamity, whether that be like gripping too soon or like sticking my finger, my pinky in and like tickling their hand or something. Like I'll find some way to just ruin it. I'm just, I'm a hugger.

You know, I'm a hug-oriented human. And when it comes to the fathers of girls I've dated, I don't know if it was just that I was born and raised in Texas, but some of them, boy golly, can be awfully intense. I dated this one girl in 10th grade and she was the oldest of five and I remember every single one of the kids I remember playing with them

I remember helping her mom out in the kitchen but the only thing I remember about her father was just him staring at me like glaring at me I don't even remember if this man had a body I just remember his eyes burning holes into me and I swear he didn't blink

for like the entire eight months I dated her but you know fast forward a few years I go off to college in San Diego and I started dating, junior year started dating this California girl, Sydney. And I'm over there hoping, like, she's probably got some super chill. Cali parents, perhaps hippie oriented. Wouldn't that be a dream? Incorrect.

Her father is from Queens, New York. And when Sydney is giving me information about her parents for the first meeting, she just sort of casually mentions how her father will occasionally boast about knowing how to work around the law, which is not a particularly comforting thing to hear. So the first meeting is happening at a restaurant, aka a public place with witnesses. And we're having dinner with Sydney's parents and her younger brother, and we've dragged along Sydney's best friend as a sort of like emotional support wingwoman. And her father walks into the restaurant, and I literally have to crane my neck upwards to look at this man.

If you would ask me in that moment how tall he was, I would have told you eight feet. In reality, he's six foot four, and just a big, just a solidly constructed individual. And he's over there ducking his head under doorways, and I'm considering, like, ducking out of the restaurant. But it takes me two and a half steps to make up every one of his, so I wouldn't make it far if I made a run for it. So I'm just like, I'm in it for the long haul, right? I've got to be there. Dinner progresses. It's going all right. Sydney's best friend is hilarious and entertaining and is taking up a lot of the attention, just like we hired her to do. And I seriously, thank you. You know, we're all swapping stories.

It's all good. Although I do pay particular attention to a story her father tells about being so protective of baby Sidney that he chases away a home intruder with a baseball bat. That one I sort of sticks in my head. I don't know why. And, you know, other than that, though, that dinner kind of goes without too much of an incident until the end of the evening when we're saying goodbye and we're standing outside the restaurant. And I say, you know, it was so nice to meet you.

and I raise up both arms and I go for the hug. And this giant of a father, this giant of a man, takes a step backwards and extends one arm out for a handshake. And he says, let's keep it here for now. And cue my utter panic as I just like desperately try to salvage this situation. And I'm like, oh, yes, sir, of course. But my hands are already extended in hugs. So I can't do the sort of like subtle wipe your hand on your pants thing.

before the handshake, so I delivered to this man, guaranteed the sweatiest handshake of his life. And her mother takes pity on me and is like, I'll give you a hug, which honestly bless her heart forever for that. And then I'm still trying to kind of turn this into a joke. So I'm like, Zach will give me a hug, to which her 18-year-old fraternity rushing brother is like, I absolutely will not give you a hug. And I proceed to chase this man, this young man, back to their car where he locks himself inside to get away from me. And I'm like, give me a hug. Oh, God. Painful.

But, you know, I survived the night. Night wraps up. And a few months later, we're on a road trip up the California coast going up north. And Sidney drops me off with some family in Morrow Bay. And she's on to see her parents in the Bay area. And, you know, I'm feeling like I kind of have some ground to make up with her dad. So I decided to take a gamble. And before she leaves, I give her a hug goodbye.

and then I give her a second hug goodbye and I say that one is for your father when you get home give him a hug and then after the hug tell him it was from Gabe and you know I'm trying to do the thing where you're terrified but you're doing the thing anyway but I'm also

remembering the adage of like there's a thin line between bravery and stupidity and I'm wondering which side of it I've sort of stumbled into so I'm staring at my phone y'all for the next three hours waiting for an update on how this like, Trojan horse of a hug delivery is going to go. And then I get her text, and it says,

made it home safely, he thought it was hilarious. And in all the years since then, he has hugged me every time we've hung out. And now, 11 years later, this August, I will be marrying Sidney Murth. And I can hardly wait to hug. my future father-in-law on that day. Thank you. That was Gabe Woods Lamanuzee. Gabe is an educator in Boston, where he lives with his forever gal, Sydney, and their cat Jello. Gabe remains dedicated to his quest for a lifelong average of ten great hugs per week. If you'd like to see photos of Gabe and his father-in-law,

including proof that they've hugged at least once, you can find those pictures on our website at the moth.org slash extras. In 2016, I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship, was living back at home with my parents, and was generally in a state of limbo. I tried my hand to casual dating, which I'd never done before. I was on my third date with this guy I'd met through Tinder.

We were out to dinner in my town, and I invited him to come over and watch a movie. I was about to text my mom begging her to make herself scarce so my date wouldn't have to go through the process of meeting the parents in the nascent stage of a casual situation ship. But he stopped me and said, It's okay. I'd love to meet the people who raised you. I nearly fainted. He did end up meeting my parents that night. I think I was more nervous than he was. And six years later, dear listener, I married him. After the break, another story about expectations. Be back in a moment.

This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ, built for breakthroughs with personalized workout plans, real-time, insights and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence, while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress. Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. Explore the new Peloton cross-training treadplus at OnePeloton.ca. Welcome back. April Galetti told our next story at a Seattle story slam where the theme of the night was deadlines. Here's April, live with the night. When I was about 10 years old, I woke up one morning, I was covered in hair and blood. And I went to my mom and I'm like, are we werewolves?

Did I kill somebody last night? Like, what's going on? My mom's like, no, you're not turning into a werewolf. You're turning into a woman. It was really unfair in my mind because both processes are the same. I mean, they end kind of different. But becoming a werewolf and becoming a woman is the same. Like you have all these weird body shape changes and sizes going on.

Hair, hair everywhere. Oh, my God. Like, and you're hungry, and you're angry, and you're angry, hangary. And you are pissed off the world. just want to bite people like like in blood so much blood it's terrible what do you know so my mom she does the best she can with the 10-year-old she gives me all the technical information she can kind of let him send me on my way with this and then I got gifted you know the wise woman gifts of a pontoon boat size pad

Floating out. Terrible. Giant bottle of Tylenol. Heating pad, you know, the basics. There was one thing, though, she didn't tell me about because I was too young, and that was that I got an egg timer. On that day, somebody took an egg timer, and they cranked it up all the way to top,

and they let it go, and it started going. I couldn't hear it. I didn't know anything about it. Time goes on. I learned how to deal with periods like we all do, and we manage. And then one day, I find a boy, and I'm like, I like this one. I'm keeping him. This one's mine.

And the minute I did that, this weird phenomenon happened that I described as tinnitus of the vagina. My vagina started sending out a signal. to everyone in my family and everyone into my husband's family. And it was going, babies, babies. And behind it was just tick-talk, tick-tock. And I really never heard this clock going off behind me. I never heard it. And my husband and I had had discussions, but actually before we got married

and had decided that we were not going to have children. And me telling family and friends this was difficult, to say the least. People's need to be in our bedroom was wild. And when I would explain, hey, my husband and I have decided that we don't want to have children, well, then people decided that I needed to be convinced. And they wouldn't try to convince my husband and I, they would separate us, pull me aside, and go, hey, you're being selfish because you're not allowing your husband's name to be carried on. My husband's family is Catholic. That name will outlast all of us.

Like, then, of course, they're like, okay, well, if that doesn't work, then, like, well, who's going to take care of you when you're older? Well, who's being selfish now? That's not a good reason to have a baby. You know, and then they would get angry, and at this point, they're like, come on, have a baby your instincts will kick in yeah and if they don't can I send it back so you know I went through this time goes on my husband and I've had these fights with everybody next thing you know we are 28 years down the road and we've been happily married all that time and we have a 15-year-old hysterectomy and that day 15 years ago was the day that that egg timer stopped. That was the day that the tone of the

tinnitus of the vagina just died. And it became real apparent really quickly that on that day, the expiration of my value as a woman and as a person died with a lot of people. And if I were to stand here and tell you that that didn't hurt, I would be lying. But But I would like to remind you that there are plenty of women out there who have never had children who have gone on to do great things, two of which, Dolly Parton and Betty White. Now I am no Dolly Parton and I am no Betty White, but I can fix that. Thank you. That was April Deletti.

April is a writer, comic, and storyteller, who uses her sweet southern drawl to add softness to the bite in her comedy and storytelling. From Georgia, April Crafts Tales of Her Southern Upbringing, navigating the comedic chaos of marriage, early menopause, middle age, ADHD, and autism. That brings us to the end of our episode. Thanks so much for joining us. from all of us here at the Moth, have a story-worthy week. Emily Couch is a producer on the Moss artistic team,

offering logistical support on creative projects and The Moth Radio Hour. She loves to work behind the scenes to spread the beauty of true personal stories to listeners around the world. This episode of the Moth podcast was produced by Sarah Austin-Jonesse, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Salinger. The rest of the Moss leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Christina Norman, Marina Cluchay, Jennifer Hickson, Jordan Cardinali, Kate Tellers, Suzanne Rust, and Patricia Orenia.

The Moth podcast is presented by Odyssey. Special thanks to their executive producer, Leah Reese Dennis. All Moth stories are true, as remembered by their storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website, the moth.org.