The Moth - The Moth Radio Hour: Around the World

Episode Date: January 2, 2024

In this hour, stories from across the globe. From a secret in Kampala to ire in the air over Beijing, and the fear and hope both inherent in immigration, stories that span six continents and the spaces in between. This hour is hosted by The Moth's Artistic Director, Catherine Burns. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by The Moth and Jay Allison of Atlantic Public Media. Emma Gordon delves into her boyfriend's past relationship to save him from deportation. Kwong Yue Yang prejudges his seatmate on a flight to China. Anastasia Krasilnikova and her family keep a secret from her abusive father. Robinah Babirye is blackmailed due to her HIV status.

This is the Moth Radio Hour from PRX and I'm Catherine Burns. The Moth now does regular events in the US, Europe, Australia, and Africa. And this time, we're going to hear stories connected to each of those places. Our first story takes place in America, but has roots in two other continents. It concerns the struggles and fate of two people who moved here from far away, and the hopes of making the United States their home. Here's Immigordin live at the mosque. I'm standing in the conference room of an immigration law firm and reading the asylum cases that are framed on the wall

and keeping one eye on my boyfriend who's pacing. Six months ago, I didn't even know this man and now I am clutching his deportation notice with both hands. Two lawyers come in and we unravel the whole story. and now I am clutching his deportation notice with both hands. Two lawyers come in and we unravel the whole story. I'm taking notes furiously. One of the lawyers asks, did you love her?

And without hesitation, he says, I loved her very much. And she's like, good. Because now we just have to prove it. I write that down. Prove love for ex-wife and circle it. We met in a dive bar in Brooklyn. There were flames painted on the outside.

I walked in and I see a guy. He's got messy hair, big coat. He's holding a beer. And he sees me's holding a beer and he sees me, lowers his beer and says, oh wow. I go directly to the bar but I can feel the coat hovering behind me and he offers to buy me a drink and I sense a hint of an accent. I tried to find somewhere else to sit but there wasn't one so when I back, he greets me with open arms and says, they always come back. LAUGHTER

He was relentless, making jokes and talking, and it was impossible to ignore him because he was just so free. So I gave in, and we took for hours. At one point our bodies stopped facing the bar and faced each other. I asked him about a scar that he had on his forehead and his face changed like I had unlocked something and I kissed him.

Actually I threw myself at his mouth. I kissed him. Actually, I threw myself at his mouth. And he stopped me and said, that's not how you kiss. And I didn't have a second to process the criticism before he said, this is how you kiss. And he started over by my ear and he dragged his lips over my cheeks and then kissed me and I burst into tears. And I wasn't sure if I was crying because I hadn't been kissed in a really long time or if I had just never been kissed like that before. He came home with me that night and as I was about to take off our clothes, I asked him, what's your name again? Chobba, I made him say it slowly, like someone is chubby. I went to the bathroom and I came back and my bedroom was covered in post-it notes that said,

Chubby. Chubby on the wall, chubby on the lamp, everywhere, chubby. And we stayed up all night talking and fooling around like teenagers until the dawn got us. And he fell asleep, but I stayed awake holding this man that I had just met and Connecting the freckles on his back like I was tracing a constellation But a new one owls And exactly one week later I looked at him and the words just fell out. I love you

And he looked at me and he said I love you too and that was that And he looked at me and he said, I love you too. And that was that. Jalbe is from Hungary. I am from Australia. When I meet Americans, the question is where are you from. But when I meet foreigners, the question is, how are you here? And the response is either a mishmash of words like visas, green cards, renewals, O1H1J1 or silence. And the silence means I don't

want to talk about it, I can't talk about it, it's all I think about. And Chubba was the latter. When I met Chubba, I had already had my green card and he had nothing, he was out of status. And he had been married to an American girl years before, but they'd gotten divorced. And he did get a green card in the mail, but they made a mistake. And his name was on it, but the face of an Asian lady. So, like the letter suggests, the information on the card is incorrect sender back, and he did, and that's the last thing he ever heard from the immigration. And by the time I met Chava he had been out of status for years. He can't travel, no driver's license, get paid in cash, don't get arrested, no red flags,

and he can't go home, not unless you want to stay there and not come back. So in those first few months when we were together, we throughout the idea of having a lawyer look at the case, like maybe there was something that could be done, but it cost hundreds and we never had it and we just thought, let's just cross that bridge when we come to it. And then the bridge came to us.

I came home and he was sitting on the couch, staring at the wall and he didn't speak or turn. He just held up a piece of paper, letter of removal. Jobber had to appear in deportation court or leave the country within 60 days or be deported anyway. I read that notice over and over, staring at that word removal and trying to imagine my life without this man that I had just met six months earlier

and the air left the room. We barely spoke that night. We showered holding hands. We slept molded to one another. And that brought us to the lawyer's office. In order to keep Chaba in the country and for us to be together, we had to prove that even though his marriage had ended in divorce, it had been real, which meant finding evidence that he had loved her, finding evidence that my new boyfriend had loved an elementary school

teacher from New Jersey. The first time I saw Chabba in a suit was in his wedding photos. We hadn't even celebrated an anniversary, but in those photos, my boyfriend looked good. I poured over photos of wedding invitations, and searched for insurance records. I called the dentist, anything I could to prove their relationship. And the entire time I did so as the anonymous detective and not the new girlfriend, because we both knew that it would muddy the case. But it also gave me this sense of remove

until I couldn't avoid it anymore and I had to go to the source. And I muted the TV, I sat down next to him and I asked how they met. And if he knew right away and how he proposed. And he took a deep breath. And he told me about the barbecue that they met at and how they fell fast and the proposal was simple and nothing special. I focused on taking notes. Did you guys write love letters to each other like we do? Please say no. Did you keep any?

Please say yes. Every time it's stung, I just applied more pressure, more emails, more phone calls, more research until the filing deadline came and I packed everything up and sent it to the lawyers and the case was filed. I had spent weeks reaching into his heart and plucking at his heartstrings, and now all there was to do was wait. But wait with who? I knew that this could take years, and Chubbler was no longer the free and playful guy from the bar that night.

I'd stopped feeling like I was in our relationship and I felt like a third wheel in theirs. It was like I looked at him and I could see in his mind that he had already started packing. And I wanted to shake him and say, why are you giving up? Don't you want to stay here with me? Before the court date, there was an interview and in place of his ex-wife who couldn't be there, her parents went to vouch for their former son-in-law.

Chobbana and I took the subway in and we walked to federal plaza, but we stopped a few blocks short. And I said it so he didn't have to. They probably shouldn't see me. I mean, that was the plan. It was the right thing to do. It was my idea. But in that moment, I wanted him to grab my hand

and take me anyway, make a scene like in a John Hughes movie. But he said, go home. I'll see you in the afternoon. And when I saw him, he said it had gone fine, but he didn't want to talk about it, and he was different. And it was like a spark was back. And it hit me.

I had spent so much time, I had worked so hard to prove this love to the court. Maybe I had proved it too well to him. Maybe our love story was just a small part of their bigger love story was just a small part of their bigger love story and I thought oh I could really get hurt here but the truth was is that I loved him I'd never loved anyone as much as I loved him and I wanted him to be free. On the day of the court hearing we met our lawyer in the lobby and she was wearing a waistcoat that had little embroidered cowboy boots on it.

If she wasn't the smartest woman I'd ever met I would have panicked. I sat up the back and watched Chobba stand before the judge. And I know that I had done so much to get him to that point, but it wasn't me standing up there, it was him standing up for his life and his loves and his mistakes and his future. And I saw a strength that I hadn't seen before. And that guy, that guy, looked great in a suit. I prayed that it was just going to go quick, whatever the outcome make it quick. The judge went over the box of relationship that we had given him and there was a little bit of back

from forth and it was quick. He looked up long enough to say, welcome to America. And then he called the next case. And Chabba turned to me and he smiled and I knew that he was back. It took a while for it to sink in that it was over, that we weren't being torn apart. We were just us and a spark had gone, but we had uncovered something even better. These days, Chubba prefers to sleep, molded to one another like we used to, but I can't. I'm not a snuggler.

But I made him a deal. I'll lay my hand on your back. I don't have to trace the constellation anymore. I know it by heart. Thanks. APPLAUSE Emma Corden is a writer, performer, and teaching artist. She's the creator of Science Baby Play Shops,

which teaches early childhood science through story and play. Emma and Chaba are now married and live in New York City with their two sons. Coming up, a young man is annoyed by his middle-aged seatmate during a long flight to China, and later, a teenage girl in Russia takes a huge risk. That's when the Moth Red Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and presented by PRX. This is The Moth Radio Hour from PRX. I'm Catherine Burns. In this show, we're hearing stories that take place around the world.

And now we're going to China by way of Australia. We met our next storyteller through our open mic story slam competitions in Sydney, Australia. The Moth produces more than 500 slams a year around the world, resulting in more than 5,000 stories annually. And crazy, as this may sound, a Moth staffer listens to every single story that gets told in the hopes of bringing the best stories to our radio listeners. Even though I don't get to visit all the cities in person as much as I'd like, favorite storytellers emerge from the listening, and I'll get excited when I see a certain name on my listening list that week. One of those names is our next storyteller, Kwong Yu Yang. Here's Kwong live in Sydney. It's 2001 and my plans descending into Beijing International Airport. And I look out the window and I see black

cars, dead trees and pollution so thick that I can actually look and stare at the sun. And I think to myself, what on earth have I gone myself into? I was embarking on a one-year study abroad program to learn Chinese. And my ex-girlfriend said, don't go. My parents told me not to go. And I was starting to think maybe they were right. Now, the whole journey didn't start off very well. About 12 hours earlier, I was at Sydney, Kingswood Smith International Airport,

and I was walking down the aisle of their 747, and I remember thinking the one thing that most young 21-year-old guys would think, that I was hoping that the person sitting next to me would be hot, young and single. And as I got there and I arrived at my chair, I looked down and she wasn't hot, she wasn't young and she wasn't single. There was a middle-aged lady there, a bit of gray hair, and she was old enough to be my mother. And so I let out a big sigh and I consoled myself by saying maybe she has a daughter. Anyway I sit down and we sort of make eye contact, we don't really chat with each other but then after

the plane takes off I realize that this middle-aged lady, this middle-aged Chinese lady, she didn't speak any English. And this was a big problem for me because one, I didn't speak that much Chinese. That's what I was going there to study. And two, I felt like it was people like her who made people like me look bad. I mean, I'm an Australian-born Chinese. I was born in Australia, I eat veggie mind, I play cricket. I've even watched neighbours. Yeah, I know, it's a bad definition, okay, sorry.

But then she, in the other hand, didn't speak any English. She probably spoke really loud, and she probably was one of those people who didn't line up in cues. And I felt a little bit of us torn. Like, do I help her? Or do I just not help her? And I was torn for the whole flight for 12 hours. And the flight attendant would come by and she'd look at the middle-aged

lady and ask, she could be and the middle-aged lady would look at me and the flight attendant would look at me. And then the flight attendant would say, does your mom want she could be? And so I try to explain to her, she's not my mom, maybe a future mother-in-law, I don't know, but I sit there. For the next 12 hours, it's just a painful journey because I'm like a live translator for her. Anyway, we're about to land in Beijing International Airport. We touch down.

I wave goodbye to the middle-aged Chinese lady and I go through custom, I pick up my bags and I exit the terminal. And I didn't really plan very well, at 21 you don't really plan very well. And I realized that I couldn't read any of the characters or any of the signage. And I was hoping that there would be a bus that would take me directly to my university. Obviously, there wasn't. And I walked up to a guy who looked like a security guard, and I asked him for directions, and he sort of waved his hands in multiple directions and gave me a grunt. And so I realized that he didn't know what I was saying, and I couldn't understand what he was saying. And so I realized that he didn't know what I was saying and I couldn't understand

what he was saying. And I went to another guy and I asked him which way to go and he pointed me in multiple directions. And I started to realize that I was in China and I couldn't speak Chinese. I felt really lost and I didn't know what I was going to do because I had to somehow find my way to my university. I get a tap on my back, I turn around and it's the middle age Chinese lady. And she asks me where I'm going. And so I get my piece of paper and point to the address.

Next thing I know is she pulls me towards the taxi ranks. She throws me into a taxi and pulls me towards the taxi ranks, she throws me into a taxi and she jumps into the taxi as well. We spend the next one and a half hours getting to my location, to my university. By the time I get to campus, I get into my dorm to make sure I'm in the right place. I turn around, I wave goodbye to the Chinese lady and she waves back as well. I never actually found out what her name was and I never actually found out if she even lived in the direction of where I was going. And I never even found out if she had a daughter. But the one thing that I did find out was that every day in every country, there is somebody

starting a brand new journey in a brand new country, and they may not be able to speak English, they may not be able to understand that culture, and they're probably just as scared and lost as I was. And so if I ever meet somebody like that, I need to judge less and help more. Thank you. Thank you. That was Kwong Yu-Dan. Kwong is a communications and presentations coach

for the Asia Pacific region and based in Southern China. I asked Kwong if he had anything to add to the story. He wrote that part of him will always regret that he didn't get his seatmate's contact info so we could stay in touch or say thank you over a meal. He chalks that up to being young and wouldn't make the same mistake again. ["Must Have a New Year's Day"]

Next, we're going to hear a story from our high school program. Anastasia, Christina Nicova, grew up in St. Petersburg, Russia, but she came to us through a workshop we did at the School of the Future in New York City. We later decided to do a public showcase featuring some of the best voices to come out of the Moss Education program, and luckily Anastasia agreed to be a public showcase, featuring some of the best voices to come out of the Moss education program. And luckily, Anastasia agreed to be a part of it. A quick note that the story touches on the subject of domestic violence. Here's Anastasia, Krasil Nukova, live at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn. It's May 6, 2011.

I am 12 years old, sitting in the airport in St. Petersburg, Russia. I am sitting next to my mom and my sister, and we're all shaking, because we're about to take the biggest risk of our entire lives. Before that day, my life was pretty repetitive. It was three days of average normal life life and then three days of living hell. My father used to work as a security guard at this factory and for the full three days he would work there and eat there and sleep there and for the next three days he would come home and sleep there and eat there and mostly drink there. My father was an alcoholic.

He abused alcohol and my mom sometimes, but he never touched me in any way. And whenever he got drunk, that's when the real hell began. When he was drunk, he did know the difference between the bathroom saying and the toilet. So he would pee in the bathroom saying I had to clean it up. When he was drunk, he would turn on the music super loud at 2 AM. I had to wake up and ask him to turn it down. When he was drunk and very angry, he would throw something at a TV or smash his fist or wall. All I could do is just sit in my room,

paralyze with fear, praying for someone, something, anything really. When he was drunk, he would lay next to my mom at night and he would ask her, do you want me to kill you right now? Because I sure can. It's interesting how children when they're 12 are scared of monsters under their bed. I wasn't. I had my own personal monster and I was much more scared of him. All that was happening actually. So for the full three days I was just an average kid living a normal life and for the next three days I would be terrified, always on the edge of my seat.

All that was happening until one day my mom got this letter that changed our entire lives. I remember her signing the delivery slip, opening up this thick envelope and reading the letter with her hands shaking. The letter said that the process has been started 10 years ago is about to be over. That process was getting our green cards. Basically all members of my family could go and live in America forever. I remember my mom, my sister, who's older and me, deciding that that was our only chance

to escape. That was a moment of choice, and we chose to lie. We lied to my father in many ways, in small ways and big ways, but I remember every three days that he would be home, we would take out luggage from our closet, put just a little bit of clothes in there, zip it up, and put it back in the closet. Slowly, I started going to my teachers asking for any final grids, any tests I had to take. My sister, Quid Herdop, big secret.

My mom, Quid Herds, also very, very secretively. Paranoia ran pretty high at those moments. My, on May 5, 2011, my father asked me to close the door after him. He was getting ready for his usual, as he thought, three days shift. And our door was this huge metal heavy door. And I said, pulled it towards me,

and then made that loud metal sound. And I closed the lock after him. I nearly collapsed on the floor. If all went well this would be the last time I would see my father. Exactly one day later three brave women stepped out of that apartment and closed that same door behind us. We simply left, each holding a bag in our hands. We wrote him a letter saying we're in America, we're safe. Don't search for us. And so we're sitting in this airport, and we are shaking. And for me as a 12-year-old, it's not just paranoia of him

possibly finding out and coming to the airport. It's also the paranoia of the unknown. I knew that my current situation was hell, but that was my home. That's very grew up, that's all I ever known. But we get on the plane, it takes out. We're safe. At least we're safe. In that moment, my family put everything on the line. We gambled on all of it for a mere chance of happiness. But we won. We're winners.

Because now I am able to stand in this beautiful city. I am surrounded by best people. But most importantly, now eight years later after I got off the plane, I've got the best stabbed at one can ever dream of. From the moment that meant enter my life, he became my best friend, my protector, my advisor. I remember us speaking high school. and we literally sat through pages and pages of different high schools there

graduation rates and statistics locations and he was there He's the first person I called when I threw up in the Uber I had to pay I had to to pay $200 in cleaning fees. And he said, he was laughing a lot. And he said, he was glad I was okay, but I hope I realize that I have to pay it out on my own pocket and that he's not paying for it. But to be quite honest with you,

I still have nightmares. It's always the same. I'm in my old house, my father, But to be quite honest with you, I still have nightmares. It's always the same. I'm in my old house. My father's right in front of me. He's drunk. Angry. Probably throwing something.

And I just stand there. Paralleled. I try to run away, but I can't move. But the alarm goes off. It's the morning. I climb out of my bed and I stumble into the kitchen. I start making oatmeal. My stepdad told me how to make oatmeal.

And he's in the living room getting ready for work. I look at him and I smile. All is good again, thank you. and a senior in college. She says she's pursuing a career in advertising because she'll get to tell stories and bring powerful campaigns to life. I ask her if she has any updates on the story and she wrote, nothing really, my stepdad is still the best person ever. Sometimes listening to stories can make us think of our own stories. We'd love to hear yours. Call our pitchline, which allows anyone to leave a two-minute version of a story you'd like to tell.

The number to call is 877-799-Moth. My name is Sarah Flannery. I live in Lexington, Kentucky when I was about 14 years old, living in Moscow, Russia, or just a short mission trip with my family. We had journeyed to a nearby village to pass out Bibles because we were missionaries, and we didn't know any of the language. So with just a couple of phrases in Russian, we would stand in random cities and hand the Bible to strangers. And one, at one point, I reached over to Hanselman a Bible and when I turned to look back, everyone in my group had left me.

I was all on my own in a city hours from my family. So I was, of course, freaked out of my mind. I made my way back to our home base where we had a pile of bibles stashed by a building. But my group wasn't there. And this babushka, this Russian grandma who spoke no English, came upon me, saw that I was all alone and petrified. She stood next to me.

And I stood there and handed out bibles to passers-by and anytime anyone questioned me or whenever the group of militiamen standing nearby glanced my way she chewed them off. She literally just waved a hanker-chiss at them to get them to walk away and And after about 30 minutes, my group showed back up. They came back to the base, realized that I had been there all by myself. And when I turned to show them my guardian angel who had been there protecting me the whole time, this tiny, orately woman she was gone. And I always looked back to that moment and think, wow, we're really never completely alone.

Again, you can picture your own story by calling 877-799-Moth or by going to themoth.org. Coming up, a young woman runs into trouble when an anonymous person threatens to reveal her HIV status. When the Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and presented by the Public Radio Exchange, PRX.org. This is the Moth Radio Hour from PRX.

I'm Catherine Burns. Our stories in this hour take place around the world. We've touched on Australia, China, Hungary and Russia. Our final story was told in Seattle, Washington, but is rooted in Kampala, Uganda, and East Africa. Here in Seattle, where we partner with the Public Radio Station, KUOW, is Robina Babirye. I'm a beginner, but be ready. Hi. Well, it's my first time in the US ever, and I'm excited.

When I was about 11, my mom sat me down with my twin sister and she told us that we are HIV positive. So I went ahead and asked her, how did we get it? I mean, how did you get it? So she said, I got it through blood transfusion and that is how I give birth to you with it. yw hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hiratak hir that will happen because in Uganda, Kampala, the city, but also in my community to be particular. When people find out that you're HIV positive, the first thing they'll always see is death. What less less hopelessness, someone who cannot survive.

So I looked at everybody and my neighborhood, Huplesnes, Someone who cannot survive. So, I looked at everybody and my neighborhood, mothers were refusing their kids to play with us, they would always tell them, come, come, don't relate with those girls, they are HIV positive. I don't know how they go to know, but you know how rumors can spread.

So, I go to school and I give my aunts this medicine to really support me and you know remind me always to take my medication. And she would always go about and say, hey, come and take your medicine. You know, it's always time for your medication. So I look at my friends and because I met this

pact with myself that I would never tell anyone because if they found out, first of all, Kami'a'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u being. So I would always like, you know, just brush it off and be like, I don't know why she always says it's made, it's just vitamins. I mean, you know, for healthy lifestyle. I'm like, okay. So I'm in my high school, I'm 19, and I'm I'm done with my high school, so I meet this guy. He's not so cute, but he's okay. But he loves reading, he listens to music quite a lot, which I really like. So I'm attracted to him and we kind of fall in love. But as we are in the process of falling in love, I cannot tell him because if I did and he gets to know that I am HIV positive, the first thing that will always come to his

mind is she has been sleeping around. So I don't really tell him, but I love him and we are going more than this. And I choose to tell him because I feel that is the right thing to do. Feeling so responsibly enough, I sit him down in his one roomed house on his bed and I tell him, I need to tell you something. So he looks at me with this curiosity and he says, what is it?

So I go and say, I was born with HIV. I mean, just that. So he takes this deep size and he's like, he takes another one, he looks at me. And in my mind, whatever is going on, my heart is beating right at that time. And my heart is racing. So I'm trying to imagine so many things, okay, he's going to tell me,

I've lost trust in you, I never knew that you're this from your skills, I never knew that you wanted to kill me. And then he says, Kami, kakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakak Mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, mio, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, k. I'm like, okay, but of course, you know, your big puzzle, you're trying to figure out things here and there. And then two days later, another text comes in and it says, this is just the beginning. You are yet to see more. So while I'm at it, you know, my boyfriend is also trying to say, let us track the number and get to see who this person is. So my sister comes and she persuades me

to come to a conference that was out of the country. And this conference brings together so many people infected with HIV, people working in the field of HIV, and they are really, really passionate and committed to what they are doing. So I'm like, you guys are from Australia, you guys are from Mexico, others are from other parts of Africa. And you guys are so bold, they are really out,

they're talking about this, like as though it is a piece of cake. And I'm looking at them and I'm like, OK, well, that is good for you, but I am not ready, a'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u'u' Mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, mwag, Kami, kakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakak female or an older person. But no, you don't know who this person is. I don't know. My mind is now thinking, what should I do? And then I get this post on Facebook where I'm tagged with my picture. And a very big caption that said, this girl infected me with HIV.

Beware of her. So things are now rushing in my mind. I am blank. I don't even know what to do. I mean my boyfriend talked about tracking the number but I cannot even think straight. And later this very person calls me and says, you have refused to do what I want you to do. You have refused to do what I want you to do. So I'm going to involve your family. I'm like, what? Now this is too much. I mean, I have dealt with this when I was a child.

I have tried to be a humble. And now you want to involve my parents, my family? So I'm so mad at that time. At the same time, I'm so scared. I don't know whether this person has contacted them already. And then I just call my sister. And she comes right away and I tell her, you know what? I think I'm done with all these. I think I'm tired.

I'm tired of everything. This is weighing down on me. So I get this bag and pull out this t-shirt. It was a black, nice, cotton t-shirt. And it had very nice big words in pink that say, HIV positive. So I tell her, you're going to take a picture of me in this t-shirt and she looks at me and she's like, are you serious? Like, are you really, really serious? And I'm like, yes, you're just going to take that picture. So she looks at me, she's so puzzled and I give her the phone and I put this t-shirt on. But what is running in my mind is I am done with all this, but at the same time, am I really ready to do this? So you know, the mixed emotions are coming in and I'm trying, you know, I'm looking at this t-shirt and I'm telling her to take the picture.

And she looks at me and I'm like, take the picture. So I hold that t-shirt and I tell her to do it. So she takes the picture and write that instant. Y mei, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, ywis, ywis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, yw'n gwis, kakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakak I realize, hold, wait. The arstery sucks at the end of every text, the abbreviations that we are coming in each text. This person always knew where I was going, what time, what I was putting on, whether it was a red top and blue jeans, which kind of car I was moving in, whether it was a motorcycle or a taxi. And I'm like, wait, these things are similar to my boyfriend.

I mean, I've been with my boyfriend everywhere I go, and this blackmailer knows everywhere I go. And then I realized, wait, I was so blinded, and it was right in front of me that the person I really trusted with my secret, with my heart, was behind the black male. But then I get a phone call, you know, just thinking about all that, I get a phone call from my sister and she tells me, check your Facebook. So I'm like, okay, now my heart is racing again the second time. I got a phone call from my sister and she tells me, check your Facebook.

So I'm like, okay, now my heart is racing again, the second time, I'm like, now what is not happening right now. So I open my Facebook post and look at these comments. I mean, some of them were like, wow, this is courageous. Wow, you know, you're a strong woman. Others are telling me you're brave. And then there was this particular post comment that I get from the post and it said, I wish we had more people like you. My God. I mean, it was mind-blowing that what I had anticipated as negativity had already tonned to positivity.

I felt alive at that time and you know what? I did not confront my boyfriend. It wasn't worth it. So I just packed my bags. I mean I was already done with my high school as a few weeks to university, packed my bags, went to university, I was going to a new environment, I was going to make new friends. But above all, I was starting a brand near me. Thank you. That was Robina Babiru. Robina is an advocate for young people living with HIV. She is passionate about the issues affecting the girl child in Uganda, and volunteers

with several networks of young people, especially those living with HIV. We met Robina when she was a part of a Moth Global Workshop in Johannesburg, South Africa. The Moths Executive Producer, Sarah Austin-Jones, directed Rabina's story. Sarah and Rabina recently spoke about the aftermath of what happened. Okay, Rabina. So your ex-boyfriend did this, and what could have been a reason that he blackmailed you?

So the reason as reason why he could have blackmailed me is because he thought maybe I was not giving him the attention he needed and I was solely giving it to my friends especially I mean since I had so many guy friends so I basically think that maybe he was quite jealous that I was having so many guy friends who I could hang up with. In one of the black maleist conversations, there was this statement where this person said that I want you to love only one person. And in my head I'm like, who else am I, you know, falling in love or am I in love with

apart from my boyfriend? And do you stand by your decision not to confront him? Yeah, I do. I feel I, it's much lighter that way because I would say he knows the truth, he knows what he did. I don't think confronting him will change anything. He ruined my relationship with my friends, but I would say he also made way for me to really come out and be who I am. So, confronting Kim, I would say, wouldn't really change anything.

To see a photo of Robina, go to the Moff.org. While you're there, you can call our pitchline and leave a two minute version of a story you'd like to tell. The story I would like to share is about me meeting my father. I was 26. I'd only spent a handful of days with him prior to that in my life. He's Peruvian, he lives in Peru. I was born in the US.

I have never left the country up until that point. And we had been exchanging sporadiki males every time he asked me to visit. So I said, yes, one day it was just like a head to be there. So I get a plane ticket, I expedite a passport, I go there, I don't even know if he's going to meet me at the airport, and I get off the plane and he's not there. But I wait an hour, I go back to the Legas area, there he is, and we start off on this two-week- long experience of getting

to know each other. I meet my family, I have six brothers and sisters I have never met and then my father and I leave to a solo trip in Kuzko and we get there and there is a moment after moment of these tiny little reveals of who this man is and who I am in relation to him. And then finally there's this evening where we're listening to this band while we eat dinner in this amazing restaurant. And he picked up his phone and he called his wife. And he started singing along with the music, me holding up the phone so she can hear it. And in that moment I felt like, yes, I know

who this man is and I can love him. Again, you can pitch us your own story by calling 877-799-Moth, or by going to themoth.org. That's it for this episode. We hope you'll join us next time for the Moth Radio Hour. The hostess hour was the most artistic director, Katherine Burns. The stories in the show were directed by Sarah Austin-Geness, Kate Tellers and Katherine McCarthy, additional story coaching by Tim Manley and Nora Revanall. The rest of the most directorial staff includes Sarah Haberman, Jennifer Hickson and Meg Bulls

production support from Emily Couch. Our pitches came from Sarah Flannery and Anna Bires. Most stories are true as remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Our theme music is by the drift other music in this hour from Duke Levine, Papadoccio, Brad Meldow, and Galen Harkers. The Malthus Produce for Radio by me, Jay Allison, with Vicki Merrick, at Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. This hour was produced with funds from the National Endowment for the Arts. The Malthus Radio Hour is presented by PRX. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching, it's your own story, and everything else,

go to our website, themoth.org.