The Moth - The Moth Radio Hour: Hesitations

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

Hold your horses! In this hour, stories of slowing down, holding off, or taking a pause. This episode is hosted by Moth Senior Director Jenifer Hixson. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by The Moth and Jay Allison of Atlantic Public Media Storytellers: Theresa Thames officiates a wedding in Hawaii. Ryan Roe contends with having Tourette Syndrome in school. Linda Grosser loses faith in online dating as she approaches a milestone birthday. AJ Jacobs, an inexperienced jigsaw puzzler, finds himself at the world championships.

Attention Houston! You have listened to our podcast and our radio hour, but did you know the Moth has live storytelling events at Wearhouse Live? The Moth has opened Mike's storytelling competitions called Story Slams that are open to anyone with a five-minute story to share on the night's theme. Upcoming themes include love hurts, stakes, clean, and pride. GoodLamoth.org forward slash Houston to experience a live show near you. That's theMoth.org forward slash Houston. From PRX, this is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm your host, Jennifer Hickson.

In this hour, hesitations, giving pause, that feeling of not so fast, or maybe tomorrow instead, will hear stories about school, dating, competitions, and in our first story, job obligations. Teresa Timms told this live in Alaska at the Atwood Concert Hall, where we partner with the Anchorage Concert Association. Here's Teresa. It's New Year's Eve and I'm at church. This is the worship service that people come to on New Year's Eve

if they don't want to drink, they don't want a party. Unhoused neighbors would come to this service for safety. I was there because I was the pastor. I had chosen the short stick, so I ended up at this service on New Year's Eve. So there I was, getting everybody together, getting ready to do the liturgy, and this couple walks in, and they are overly dressed. She has on this fitted ball gown, and he has on a full tuxedo. They stood out. And after that service, they came back Sunday. After Sunday,

they would sit together. She eventually joined the choir. He asked me the baptize him. And I did. But one particular Sunday, they came up to me so excited. You know, all hugged up. And they said, Pastor T, we want to ask you a question. Will you marry us? For those who do not know, pastors do not like weddings. We do not want to spend our Friday and Saturday with you and all of your family drama. Weddings are actually the cacophony

of mama, bridesilla, drunk brothers, stepmom, stepdad don't get along, the kids running around, no, no. But before I could get my no-out they said, pastor tea, our wedding will be in Hawaii and we will pay you all expenses fly you first class. Yes, yes, yes, I would love to do your wedding. I had never been to Hawaii, never flown first class, all the way from Washington, D.C. So I was there. I made a vacation out of it.

I get there and it's fourth of July weekend. And this wedding is what a wedding is supposed to be. The bride is adopted from Korea. Her adopted family has this estate overlooking the waterfront in Hawaii. It is magnificent. Everyone is making a fuss over the bride. And I am there as the pastor, but also,

I am there as a newly divorced see. I am there as a newly divorcee. I don't know if I believe in this type of love anymore. I don't know if I believe in all of the ooze and aes, but as the bride is walking down the aisle, I have a little bit of hope. I'm able to see that these people really do love each other. And I've seen their love grow Sunday after Sunday over the last couple of years. So the wedding is done. I'm feeling good.

And then I do the other thing that I typically do not do. Confession number two. Pastors hate wedding receptions. You know what happens pastors hate wedding receptions. You know what happens at a wedding receptions? People pull you to the side and they want you to solve the family drama. It's out now. You are the pastor, so they want you to pray about something.

Somebody wants to confess something to you or somebody wants to take you in the corner to show you something. We're like, I typically do not do wedding receptions. It's alcohol and people know. But I was in Hawaii. So I danced and I took that robot. I was free. We danced until four in the morning. Because I had made a vacation out of this trip, I was walking around the streets in Hawaii

the next day, soaking up the sun. And then when I looked around, I realized that Hawaii is for lovers, for families. That's where people went to honeymoon and family vacation. And that love, that type of family, romantic love, was not something that I held anymore. And so I took my broken heart back to the hotel room with some takeout and chocolate covered macadamians and pineapples and I was eating and crying

and watching something on the TV. And I was like, girl, if you don't get out of this hotel room, you are in Hawaii. So I was like okay, I need to do something. So I go downstairs to the hotel lobby and they have that key asked but all of the brochures of what to do while you're in a place.

And I looked and I found one that said, hike Diamondhead Mountain. It was like a beginner's hike, easy, anybody can do it. I beginner's hike easy, anybody can do it. I was like, all right, you know, I can do it. So I'm from Mississippi. I never been on no hike before. I don't know what to pack. I pack some water bottles, lunch, a basket, some scissors, rope. I don't know what you need on a hike. I put my hair up, I had these long dreadlocks, I put my hair up, you know, put on my sandals, here we go. It's a public transportation to Diamondhead Mountain.

I get there and, you know, I'm going, we hiking, feeling good, and then like five minutes in, reality said in. Three things were against me. Number one, it is fourth of July weekend, it is hot as hell. I am sweating so hard that like chocolate drops are following me behind. And I'm hiking and I'm breathing. Number two, that pamphlet lied.

This was not a beginner's hike. This was, I was going up the rough side of the mountain. And these fitness enthusiasts were running past me like gazelles. I wanted to trip them. Like, I am struggling here. The third thing that was against me was that at the time I was literally 250 pounds heavier than I am now. So I'm carrying all of this weight and I'm sweating and I'm having labored breathing

and this is ain't no beginner's hike. So I'm going up and I'm trying to get to the top, I'm slowing down, I'm out of water, the sun is beating, and I get to the point of the hike where the path is narrow, I'm waiting on the side because I just can't physically do it and I was like girl, do not fall out on the side of a mountain in Hawaii. This is not the place. I get to the almost to the top and there's a tunnel that you have to go through. And then my heart start palpitating and I was having anxiety. And I was about to turn around and I was like holding up the line, trying to breathe and

I was embarrassed and I was ashamed and I was like, you know what? I can say that I made it this far. And this strange couple, I didn't know them. They came up to me and they said, what if we go with you? If you put your hand on my husband's shoulder and I put my hand on your shoulder, will guide you through the tunnel. And step by step, we entered the tunnel. And I felt claustrophobic.

It was pitch black. And I'm sweating and I'm breathing. And then there was this coldness inside. There was no light, but there was no sun. And we're shuffling through and I'm breathing. And before I knew it, the light was coming in through the tunnel. And as I exited, it felt as if I had been born again. Like the sense of accomplishment that I did this thing in the view was so worth it. I'm all in my fields, I'm crying, people are cheering for me, like I move over to the side with my

book pack full of all the stuff and I'm like crying, I'm taking selfies, people are taking pictures with me. Like, I have a whole congregation on top of the mountain. I'm sitting down on the ground with this book bag. And the next thing I know, I let my hair down and I just start cutting my hair. I'm like crying and just cutting, lock, by lock of my hair. I'm like crying and just cutting. Lock, by lock of my hair. Before I left DC, I read somewhere, a quote from Coco Chanel that says, when a woman cuts her hair, she is ready to change

the world. And I sat on the ground and I'm cutting and I'm crying and I'm cutting and crying, and my congregation is starting to get concerned. They're not really sure about this. And there's not a lot of melanated people on their mountain either. So they're like, we don't know what's going on, but there was this freedom. And I put my hair in this basket. And as I turned around to go back through that tunnel down,

I was not afraid. I was ready. I was ready. I was confident. I was like a tisket, a tasket. I got hair all up in my basket. I was ready. I felt like one of the gazelles going down. It was amazing.

I get on the bus. I get back to the hotel. I look in the mirror and I looked at hot ass mess. There was no mirror on the mountain. My throat was all raggedy and crooked. I strained it out. And as I looked in that mirror, I saw myself. I saw me.

I wasn't hiding behind any hair. 11 years of hair I had grown. And it was me, me. And then I did another bad ass thing. I slathered my body down with whatever banana boat sunscreen they had in that bathroom. I put on a two-piece, suit. I took my basket of hair and I sassheed through the hotel lobby without a cover up on. And I walked out and there was this huge rock right on the edge of the water and I walked out to that rock and I

put that basket of hair in the Pacific Ocean. And as I watched that basket float away, what I knew is that in that basket was not just 11 years of blocks, it was 11 years of compromising, it was 11 years of bad love, it was 11 years of not having boundaries, 11 years of settling was 11 years of bad love, it was 11 years of not having boundaries, 11 years of settling, 11 years of turning around 11 years of not seeing myself. And I was free. I was free. A year later, back in DC, my life radically changed. And on a Sunday, a year later, that couple stood before me, but this time, they stood before me

so that I could baptize their baby girl. And they named her grace. I went to Hawaii to do a wedding. I cut off my hair, but a year later, and all of these years later, I've been overwhelmed by amazing grace. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That was Teresa Timms.

She's kept her hair short ever since that haphazard cut on the mountain top. She gets it done professionally these days. Teresa is a dean at Princeton University. Her hike at Diamondhead Trail was a starting point. Teresa continues to climb mountains, run races, and she has completed two half marathon. Teresa has also officiated many more weddings and it seems that her faith and marriage was restored because she ultimately found love and got remarried.

To see a picture of Teresa in Hawaii on the Diamond Head Trail, visit themoth.org where you can also download this story and others in this hour. Coming up, a kid with Tourette syndrome navigates elementary school and a woman turning 60 tries internet dating when the Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media and Woods Hole Massachusetts and presented by PRX. This is the Moth Radio Hour from PRX. I'm Jennifer Hickson. In this hour, we're hearing about reluctance. Our next story was told by Ryan Roe at the Philadelphia Grand Slam at Union

Transfer. Here is Ryan. Thank you guys. So, I was five years old when I was down at the Children's Hospital in Philly and I was diagnosed with Tourette syndrome. Now if you don't know much about Tourette's, it's a nervous system disease that causes someone to twitch uncontrollably. It can either be motor ticks or verbal ticks for instance. My ticks as a kid were mostly doing things with my mouth or kind of twitching my head like that. And I also had verbal ticks like I would grunt and, you know, just make noises a lot like that. And when you're diagnosed with Tourette, there's not a lot that doctors can do for you. They gave me some pills that can kind of calm the ticks a little bit, and they had a

lot of side effects, and they didn't work all that well. And they also gave me a DVD with the title, I have Tourette Syndrome, but Tourette Syndrome doesn't have me. Which is way too long of a title. It doesn't fit on the poster. It doesn't flow. And I remember watching this DVD and on this DVD there was another five-year-old with Tourette's and he said Tourette's makes you a marked man. And me as a five-year-old watching this thought, that's way too profound, a thing for a five-year-old to be thinking.

But in a lot of ways, he's right. When you have Tourette's, especially as a kid, you feel like you have this scarlet letter. It's often the first thing that people notice about you and make judgments upon. And it's really hard to have any sort of confidence in your own voice when you have this kind of looming cloud of embarrassment and self-consciousness. And I grew up in a small enough community where there was teasing and things, but eventually

all the kids knew me, and they were used to it. And unfortunately, the people that I really had a problem with were teachers. Because usually every year the same thing would happen. My parents would meet with our teacher and they'd tell them about my disease and they'd say, well, it'll probably be fine, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. And then at some point throughout the year, there would be a breaking point

where the teacher no longer had any patience with me. All the support was gone, the mood around me changed. All of a sudden I'd be getting called out in the middle of class in front of people. I'd be sent outside to sit out right by the door and listen into the class. A lot of teachers would pull me aside and just directly to me, not even to my parents, tell me that they think I should be homeschooled or I should join the kids in the special needs class. And as a kid, this is heartbreaking because you feel,

with everything else that you have to deal with, not just in school, but out in public. And there's constantly, there's stairs that you feel like the one person who should really have your back as your teacher. you know, not just in school, but out in public. And there's constantly stairs that you feel like the one person who should really have your back as your teacher. So when I didn't feel like I had that support, it was very frustrating.

But I did have one really great teacher. When I was in fourth grade, my teacher was named Mrs. Bragg. Now Mrs. Bragg had been teaching for over 30 years. She had seen everything. There was nothing that could face her. And at one point we were doing a project called Famous Pennsylvania. And it's actually really neat. Each of us was assigned a Famous Pennsylvania from history. And we would research our Pennsylvanians and then dress up as them and do presentations.

And it was really a neat thing. And I was assigned Roberto Clemente, who if you don't know is a famous player for the Pittsburgh pirates. And I was really excited about this. I had tons of fun reading about him and researching him and dressing up as him and things. And one day we were in the school library and it's quiet in there. And I was just having one of those really bad tick days. I was really loud, I was really embarrassed,

but there was nothing I can do about it. There's no way I can control it. And I could feel the eyes of everyone in the room staring at me. And just as the frustration in me was building, Mrs. Brad calls me out into the hallway, and I thought, well, there it is. You know, I should have seen this coming. This is what happens every time. I broke her. This is, and I came out into the hallway,

and she looked down at me and she said, you know, Roberto Clemente also had Tourette's. And I said, really? She goes, yeah, he actually twitched just like you did. And he would have trouble during interviews and things. But he never let that stop him. He worked really hard, he ignored others, and he became one of the best of what he did.

And that meant the world to me. It was like I had never heard of anyone successful who had my disease. And so just for a moment, I felt like I was normal. I had hope for the future, and it really meant the world to me when she told me that. And for years after that, every once in a while I would have one of those aggravated tick days, and I would think back to that and I think what would Roberta Clemente do?

He would work hard, he would ignore others, and he would never give up. And then just a few years ago, I was thinking about that. And I thought, you know, I've never actually Googled that. So I go to Google for burdoou Clemente Tourette's. There is nothing that says he ever had Tourette's or anything like it. She completely made it up just to make me feel better, and it's one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me. So now, every once in a while, I still have those days where I feel self-conscious.

But this time, I think to myself, what would Mrs. Bragg do? She would work hard, she would ignore others, and she'd never give up on me. Thank you very much. That was Ryan Rowe. I caught up with Ryan over the phone to talk about what he's up to these days. Mrs. Bragg is the hero of your story, obviously. Can you tell me a little bit more about her? Sure. Mrs. Bragg was my fourth great teacher and she was just wonderful. I mean, you know, my story of her being very sympathetic to me, whereas a lot of teachers would have been very harsh on me, perhaps. You know, it's just one of many stories that a lot of other students I know have about her just being extraordinarily kind.

And I think with her experience, like she was teaching for a really long time at that point, you know, she had just seen so much that she knew that what kids really need is just a friend. They need an advocate in their teacher. And that's what she was. Yeah, I'll say that move was very creative. The Roberto Clemente move she played that was, I don't know, I've never heard of another teacher doing anything like that. Yeah, when I think back on it, I think in that moment where she saw that I was frustrated

in the quiet library and she saw that I was feeling insecure about other people looking at me, you know, Ryan more than anyone right now needs someone to tell him that it's okay that he matters and that he is not weird. It just meant so much to me and it meant more than anything else she could have said. It was just the perfect thing. So, Ryan, how did the rest of school work out for you? So after fourth grade, luckily I was able to stay in public schools for the rest of grade school and I still had You know some teachers that were really kind about my disease and some that weren't but Luckily, you know when you develop to write such a young age usually as you grow older the symptoms start to die down and that's what happened. And so then I went on to college and now I'm in law school and I'm also volunteering

with different direct syndrome charities and associations as well, just to try to help kids who are like me who are struggling in school. That must be so cool for them to hear you. Yeah, absolutely. I think being able to show these kids that, you know, I had what they had. And yet I was able to still soldier on and find advocates and find success. So are you ever tempted to use the Roberto Clemente line on anyone? Not exactly. I wonder sometimes. But now I haven't used that on anyone. I wonder sometimes.

But now I haven't used that on anyone. Maybe I should. Who knows. I feel like nowadays kids are quicker to Google things. Yeah, definitely. And how does Roberto Clemente figure it into your life these days? Do you think of him often? Yeah, I still think of him all the time.

You know, I'm a diehard fully sports fan i love eagles and the fillies and the flyers and the sixers but i'm also a big fan of the pirates ever since fourth grade all because of a baritone is there anything else you want people to know about terets work in our best control it and it's like a like any other disability, I guess.

We just want to be treated normally. We just want to be treated with patients. That was Ryan Rowe. At the time of this recording, Ryan is a student at Villanova Law School with hopes of becoming a trial attorney. Although his text once made him terrified of public speaking, he's now a regular at the Mont Stoy Slam in Philadelphia, and he relishes the idea of arguing cases

in front of a jury. In his spare time, he volunteers with a local group that supports young people with Tourette's. Our next story was told by Linda Grocer at the Story Slam at City Space in Boston, where we partner with Public Radio Station WBUR. Here's Linda. So I'm walking down Newberry Street on my lunch break and there's this older woman just ahead of me. And then I stop and I'm gazing in the window and she stops.

And as I look at her reflection, I realize it's me. Oh my God, when did I get so old? I mean, I was always the baby in the family. So whenever I get to one of those decade milestone birthdays and you think about what does that number mean and where am I in my life? Anyway, later that night I am sitting in my third floor apartment just feeling completely sorry for myself. I'm divorced. I have a dent in one breast from cancer surgery, and I am full of self-judgment. Where am I in my life? And who is going to want me?

But I did not want to be alone. So I had no choice. When I put up my online profile, I lied. I took four years off of my life, off of my age. And then I really got out there. I learned how to swing dance. I learned how to sail. I read a lot of Pema children. She's as Buddhist nun. I am lovable. I am good enough. But oh my God, dating in midlife. First there's George. I really liked his profile and then I get to the bottom. Message me if you are under 40. And then there's Lyle. Lyle was tall, sexy, we hit something going. And then I find out he's dead broke and he starts to stalk me. And Stuart, we talk, we decide to meet, I go into paneras, oh crap, that is Stuart over there, but he looks so old.

And of course I justified my lie because my pictures were current. Well this was my dating life. It happened like 16 times, except there was only one stalker. I was disillusioned. I did not like lying, but I was not ready to be honest. So I took my profile down and I say, I'm just going to go to meet-ups. You don't have to give your age, you just show up. And that was working really fine until it was the fall.

And I, for the first time ever, I am approaching a dreaded milestone birthday. And I realize, Linda, like it or not, on November 28th, you are going to be 60. Oh, God. And I'm thinking, well, if I have to be 60, I am going to go out in style and have a really big party. So now I'm at my friend, Deborah's, I'm in her foyer, and I am surrounded by 25 of my most beloved family and friends. I see Jerry and Richard in their tuxedos because I wanted the entire to be fancy. And Janet and Mike are standing by the punch bowl where they squeezed 50 limes to make my favorite drink, Cosmopolitan's.

And my kids, Taylor and Spencer, they made a dance mix, they brought the weed. The outpouring of love, I was walking on air. And it was just incredible because that party changed me. And I decided that that number, my age, just did not define me. And I let go of my own ageism. I'm back at home. And I say, okay, I'm ready for the truth. I grip my teeth, I put my profile back on and I put on my true age.

I go out to a meetup that night in democracy house in Harvard Square, it was a Latin band and I met a guy, I think his name was Mark and we chatted and I liked him. He didn't ask for my number. I was disappointed, okay, no big deal. I go home next morning. Now I'm getting these emails from the dating app and I open this one profile. Guy is cute, he's 63, he dances, he sales, and now I'm looking, he looks kind of familiar. Oh my God, this is Mark, the guy from last night at the meetup.

So I read his message, dear Linda, I was really glad to find and read your profile this morning. When we met last night, I thought you were too young for me. Oh, so funny. Well, I knew this 60-year-old body was going to be just fine. And I was going to give that Mark Man a chance. Thank you. That was Linda Grocer. I asked how things turned out with Mark and she wrote, we had some wonderful years together,

dancing to Latin jazz and swing, traveling, sailing, cycling, cooking, and laughing. Linda added that they did eventually break up, but she said that's a whole other story and that they are still good friends. To see a picture of Linda at her 60th birthday party with her sons, visit themof.org where you can also download the story or any of the stories this hour. And while you're there, maybe you'd like to pitch a story of your own. Perhaps you found love on a unique path or during a wild adventure or on a dating app. We want to hear your pitches. You can pitch us a story right on our site or call 877-799-MOTH. That's 877-799-Moth.

799 Moth. In a moment, an author suspects that writing about jigsaw puzzles will be a bore, until he finds a way to piece it all together. But I'm Bump, couldn't resist, sorry. and use it. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media and Woods Hole Massachusetts and presented by PRX. You're listening to the Moth Radio Hour from PRX. I'm Jennifer Hickson. We're hearing stories about people doing things that they were pretty sure they wouldn't like. Our next storyteller, AJ Jacobs, is typically enthusiastic about his work.

He's an author, journalist, lecturer, and human guinea pig who experiments with things like spending a whole year trying to follow every single rule in the Bible or practicing radical honesty or reading the entire encyclopedia. His latest book is The Puzzler, and this story takes place while he was reluctantly prepping for what he knew would be his least favorite chapter. Here is AJ Jacobs at College Street Music Hall in Hartford, Connecticut. I, all my life, I have loved puzzles, all kinds of puzzles. Crosswords, riddles, mazes, you name it.

They are my great, nerdy passion. But there is one kind of puzzle that left me cold, jigsaw puzzles. They always seem more like a chore, like loading the dishwasher. Plus, I found them kind of anti-clamatic. You know, you get to the end, you put in the last piece, and you're like, oh, look, it's three kittens on a beach towel.

Exactly like the three kittens on the beach towel on the cover of the box that I've been looking at for three days. Surprise. So I didn't love jigsaws, which was fine. But then a couple of years ago, it became a problem because I am a writer and I signed up to write a book about puzzles. And I knew I had to have a chapter on Jigsaw's. They are the prototypical puzzle.

So I began, as I always do, with Google, and I type in Jigsaw's and I click and I click and on the seventh page there is a very interesting entry. It is the world jigsaw puzzle championships. Now I did not know that competitive jigsaw puzzling was a thing. I mean it seemed to me the best part of Jigsaw's was that you could take your time, they were kind of relaxing. So it seemed a little weird. It seemed like, you know, like a world series of napping or, you know, a meditation cage match. It didn't make sense to me. But there it was. There was in a few weeks in a small city in Spain was the World Jakesaw puzzle championships.

So on a whim, I fill out the application. And I send it and I figure, this is the first and long series of trials. I'll be weeded out. Next day, my email pings. Congratulations, Senor Jacobs. You are officially captain of Team USA and the World Jigsaw Puzzle Championships in Spain.

So my reaction is, holy mere da. This is not good. It's not the Olympics, but still I'm representing my 300 million fellow Americans and I am vastly underqualified. I haven't finished a jigsaw puzzle since I was eight years old. My only skill was I filled out the application and no one else did. So first I need to assemble my team. I had signed up for the four person event.

So I walk into our living room and there's my wife and two of our teenage sons. And I say, who's ready to do their patriotic duty? And they are less than enthused, but they agree reluctantly as long as they don't have to wear any kind of uniform. I'm like, no problem, that's fine. All right, next, I need a trainer. So I call up this woman named Karen Cavitt, who has a very popular YouTube channel devoted to jigsaws, and Karen, she's great, she schools me,

because I'm like, okay, so you start with the edges, right? And she's like, oh no, not necessarily. If it's a very colorful puzzle, you start with the colorful inside and work your way out to the edges. I'm like, oh, then I say, but you always sort by color, right? She's like, not necessarily. Sometimes if it's a big blue sky,

you should sort by shape instead of color. So I'm writing this down. I'm like, this is gold. This is gold. This is going to get me the championship. So next, it's time for training. I dump, the next day, me and my son are at the dining room table. I dump all the pieces out.

It's a puzzle of a Dr. Seuss painting of a bunch of fish in a lake. So we're sorting, we're sorting. And I see two pieces that look like they might fit together. So I take the Audi and I put it over the inny and I press down and I feel that soft click and I'm like, wow, that feels good. So then I do it again, I see two more and I'm like,

oh, some more dopamine. And I was like, these were meant to be together. And in physics, in high school, I remember they taught us the second law of thermal dynamics that everything tends towards disorder. But here in my apartment, order is having a little victory over chaos, and it feels awesome. I also realized I am an easy convert.

I am a cheap date. I mean, I hated Jake'saws all my life and here, after 10 minutes, I'm hooked. Few weeks later, we're on a red eye flight to Madrid. Team USA, that is. And I'm fantasizing, like, maybe we're the Cinderella story of this. We're like the 1980 US ice hockey team, Miracle on Ice, or Miracle on Cardboard or whatever they're going to call us. We land, we take a two-hour train ride north, and we arrive bliery-eyed at the arena.

But there is no doubt we're in the right place. There are hundreds, thousands of jigsaw fanatics. Jigsaw tattoos everywhere. Jigsaw jewelry. Jigsaw Jewelry, Jigsaw themed clothing. And I should say here that Team USA is also wearing Jigsaw themed t-shirts, which I know I told my kids they wouldn't have to. But this is my first international world championships. How? You know, I'm not gonna wear theme t-shirts. So I had designed to myself. They were a jigsaw piece with the American flag colors on it.

And if that wasn't enough, there was also a motto in Latin that said, e pluribus unum pictura, out of many one picture. So, my sons said, if this appears on your social media, we are going to begin legal emancipation proceedings. And I was like, all right, I get it, you don't love it. We're shown to our table,

and we're right next to the Turkish team, which is four women in, they have long skirts with a jigsaw pattern. One of them has her hands clasped and her eyes closed, and she's saying a prayer. I also say a secular prayer, which is that, please don't let us fight over who gets to put in the last piece, which is something we've experienced.

My wife, Julie, is doing leg stretches, like she's about to run a 5K. And she's like, I can't believe how nervous I am. And I'm nervous too. My hands are so clammy, I'm worried that the pieces are going to slip through my fingers. The announcer comes on stage and he says, okay, here are the rules. You have eight hours, eight hours, to do four puzzles. The puzzles range from 1,000 to 2,000 pieces.

Oh, thank you for that all. Three, two, one, begin puzzling. So we grabbed the first puzzle. It's of a safari scene. And I look around and I'm immediately stressed out all the other countries they came prepared. They have their jigsaw equipment. They have razor blades and knives to rip off the plastic on the box. And we got nothing. So we have to open those boxes with our fingernails, like barbarians. So we do it, we pour them out. It becomes clear that the monkey is going to be a problem. It's the same color as the tree. And my wife starts trash talking.

She's like, monkeys, you used to be my favorite animal. Don't make me hate you monkeys. And I love it because she is so, she was reluctant at first, but now she's all in. So much so that she has pledged not to go to the bathroom for the full eight hours, which is unprecedented. So we start making a little headway on the rhinoceros. I spot this piece on the floor, and I'm pick it up. I like that could have been a disaster.

So I'm feeling okay. I look around. I don't feel okay anymore. All the other teams are much farther ahead than we are. And the Bulgarians, their hands are moving so fast, it looks like I have a video on double speed. But there's nothing we can't cheat because there are dozens of proctors in yellow vests wandering the floor. And one of them takes a special interest in us. He comes over and he starts chanting. USA.

USA. USA. And I'm like, Gracias, that's our country. And maybe, maybe he's cheering us on. But we are so far behind, I'm pretty sure he was mocking us. Which reminded me like, you know, I am in danger of humiliating my country. So we keep going three and a half hours later, there's a hubbub on the other side of the arena. All these people are crowded around a table, they've got their cell phone cameras out. I say, what's going on? And the Bulgarian guy says, well,

that's the Russian team. They're almost finished. I'm like, finish the first puzzle. He's like, no, finish all four puzzles. It's been three and a half hours. And I had heard before the, the tournament, the, that the Russian Jake Saw team was a force to be reckoned with. And I know what you're thinking. There's no evidence of doping. There's. So get that out of your mind. But a few minutes later, there's an even bigger roar.

And four women emerge from the scrum. And three, three blonde women and one brunette. They've got the Russian flag draped over their shoulders. They bound on to stage. The announcer says, champion Zavell Wundo. And they are beaming. And we are slack, Jod. We're like, how did that happen?

But I say to my sons, keep puzzling. It's all we can do. Keep puzzling. We keep going, but every five minutes, there's another roar. Mexico finishes. Japan finishes finally at six hours and three minutes. Team USA finishes our first puzzle. You clapped a little too early. We finished our first puzzle. It's

something. So we high-five each other and we grab the second puzzle, which is even harder. It's all red. So red fingernails and red fire trucks. And before we know it, the announcer says, Trace, Dozuno, hands away from the table, it's over. And we look at each other and we shrugged and we laugh. My wife goes to the bathroom. Not there. She runs to the bathroom, I meant to say. Just a little bit later, they post the results on a TV screen. And I jostle my way to the front to try to see where we are and I look at it and I look down and down and a little more down and there right near the bottom is Team USA but this is important not at the bottom. We thank

you. Yeah we beat we beat one of the hometown Spanish teams. So we were not last, we were second to last. And to me, that was a huge victory. And coming in second to last, wasn't even the best part of that day. The best part was that Team USA was there. We were in the mix in this community of people who were passionate. They were united by their love of uniting little cardboard pieces.

And after the tournament, there were hugs. The Turkish women gave us jigsaw-shaped cookies. The Russian team gave us a teddy bear, which was their mascot. And I know that world politics is very complicated. It can be ugly. The pieces don't always fit. But here in this arena, in a small town in Spain, for just a moment, we transcended that, thanks to jigsaw diplomacy. So at that moment it could not have been clearer that I was wrong. Jigsaws are not a waste of time. Jigsaws are magic. Thank you. That was AJ Jacobs. Despite coming in second to last, the founder of the tournament asked AJ to help create

the USAJigsaw Puzzle Association. The following year, Team Jacobs was unable to attend, but six American teams competed and two of them placed in the top 10. And so, America has been redeemed. AJ's book is The Puzzler, one man's quest to solve the most baffling puzzles ever, from crosswords to jigsaws to the meaning of life. To see a picture of the original team USA, AJ, his wife Julie and their two sons, visit themoth.org where you can also find a shareable link to the story.

That's it for this episode. We want to thank all of the storytellers in this hour, moth.org where you can also find a shareable link to the story. That's it for this episode. We want to thank all of the storytellers in this hour who would all probably agree. Just try it. You might like it. And here's hoping you'll join us next time. This episode of The Moth Radio Hour was produced by me, Jay Allison, Katherine Burns, and Jennifer Hickson, who also hosted the show and directed the stories in the hour. Co-producer is Vicki Merrick, Associate Producer Emily Couch.

Additional Grand Slam Co coaching by Larry Rosen. The rest of the Malsa Leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Sarah Austin Janess, Meg Bulls, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Cluche, Leanne Gully, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Sarah Jane Johnson, and Aldi Caza. Malsa Stories are true, as remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Our theme music is by the Drift, other music in this hour from Jackie Mito, Cory Wong with Bala Fleck, Goucho, and Hermano Scoutieras. We receive funding from the National Endowment for the Arts.

The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and presented by PRX for more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story, and everything else, go to our website, TheMouth.org. you