The Nateland Podcast - #1 The First Episode

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

This Episode is our first episode. Just listen to this one and come back for more.    Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]  

Hey, what's up everybody? This is Nate Bargetze, the host of the Nate Land podcast. And this episode is titled the first episode because it is, it is our first episode that we are doing. So I hope you listened to it the whole way through being the first episode and then you come back for more. and you come back for more. What's up, everybody? This is Nate Bargetze. This is the first episode of the Nateland podcast.

I did a podcast a long time ago, a very, very long time ago, right when podcasts were getting big, then we stopped it it was basically like if you like got a tip about google and then you were like let's get out of it uh i mean it was like two or 2010 or something i don't know so but now we're doing it again uh covid has uh forced forced me into a podcast because i can't i can't do anything. So we're doing it here. We're in Nashville, Tennessee. This is the first one. I'm excited to do a show.

I don't know exactly what this show is going to end up being. It's just us hanging out, a couple comics. Let me introduce you to the comics that are in here. I got Brian Bates, who's on the road with me a lot, andaron weber's been on the road with me once and that will be the only that'll be the last time he really blew it uh but so i just figured you know we're here we're all stuck in nashville uh so let's do a podcast you know let's get it let's get it going we did all the proper stuff we did we took people's head temperatures yeah that's what you're supposed to do right yeah the gun that you point at your head we did the gun

point their head mine was lower than what it should be yeah is that good what was it i was like 96 or something that's what i was yeah i run a little cold do you i think is that good to be 96 i mean it's further away from I think so. Is that good to be 96? I mean, it's further away from a fever, right? So that's got to be good. I mean, will there be bragging of like, my temperature's... Some guy gets mad when they do it.

He's like, mine's 93, so maybe chill out. He's a guy... I just watched Contagion, the movie with Matt Damon. And for some reason, this has made me want to watch it. Like it was – you know, it's like almost like if you – I don't know. If you smell pizza, then you go get pizza. Like in your mind, like I don't know if that's a good example. But because of all this, I wanted to watch Cont watch contagion and i wanted to see like what it

was and uh it's pretty crazy yeah it's exactly this and the stuff that they talk about and the stuff that they say in that movie is all exactly what's happening in the world and he is a matt damon's immune to it and i mean this one like i mean they were having not to root but people were just dying immediately from from that whatever they had there uh but it's all the it's all the stuff that's happening matt damon's immune to it and so he does a lot of that yelling like they're like you get back sir and he's like no i'm immune to it it's fine like people are like oh okay man sorry man we didn't you know like there's uh-huh there's, that's essentially what I'm saying this would be if you go in. You're like, my temperature's at 92, so maybe I'm not the one you need to be yelling at.

Like if it's really low, you know. I think 93 is your, that's a problem. Look up what the lowest temperature. I think anything lower than 95. That's a concern. I think you got than 95. That's a lot. That's a concern. I think you've got to be right around it. I don't think you can go that low. 95

to... Record for the lowest body temperature which an adult has been known to survive is 56.7. I mean, that guy can't get COVID. 56, he was submerged in cold, icy water for quite some time. So that wasn't just his natural body temperature.

That's something happened to him. Oh, he was in cold water. That's like taking a cold shower. He's not walking around everyday life running 56 degrees. That would be a problem. Look, hypothermia is if your body temperature falls below 95. I mean, you wish you had a little more wiggle room, and you don't. Yeah, we're pretty close to hypothermia at all times.

At all times. I mean, at any point, you just jump in there. 95 degrees. A low body temperature may occur with an infection. I might already have. You guys may have it right now. Okay, you were 0.1 degrees hotter than I was. I don't know if you're much safer than I am, dude.

I don't know. That's, yeah. All right, 95 degrees is hypothermia. I thought it would be, you know, what do I know? That's the point of this show, too. We know nothing. And so that is what I do want this show to be like i you know i know there's a lot of stuff that like people want to use uh i was like a lot of celebrities are

using a platform in very good ways where they want to you know you should all i don't know go live a good life be a nice person uh but that's that's not what i want to do. I'm not a big platform guy. I don't like using a platform. I think it's embarrassing to say I need to use my platform. It's insane to me to use it for stuff. I look at this show as just trying what I want to do this podcast, for us to be just funny, and people can watch this. And then if you are fighting the good fight, I do think you need a break.

You can't just argue all day long. Our platform should be used in a way that you can come here and just laugh and not feel. We don't know what body temperatures we're supposed to be. I was going to say, we made a pretty good case from the get-go. And so we should never say anything. say we made a pretty good case from the get-go and so we should never say anything i didn't i'm a i'd never say anything about anything because i i mean i went to high school and that's it and i had a i had a rough time getting out of high school it wasn't like just a breeze it wasn't like i just flew out and was colleges were knocking on the door i it was crazy. I went to a community college.

I mean, I have a joke about it, but it's all true. I had no credits when I went to this community college. I took a speech. I got an A in speech, though. Okay. I did a speech on Vandy's 96 football season, and I had a highlight reel. Vandy, by the way, I had a highlight reel.

I'm a big Vanderbilt fan, and Vanderbilt had a highlight reel that I got, and they went five and six that year. And it was a year from, I think we played Notre Dame, which Aaron's a big Notre Dame guy. That's the year you were doing a speech about? Yeah. When you went five and six? Yeah, that was all we had, dude.

I watched it. I mean, I watched this. Dude, it was a VHS tape. My parents got it for me for Christmas. My mom worked at Vanderbilt, and she was in, like, the ticket office, and so they gave it to her. And it was five and six. That was the year we lost to LSU.

We had two delay game penalties. On an extra point. Yeah, on an extra point, Vandy vandy instead they were going to go for two because we're beating lsu lsu is ranked seventh i think in the country and we we score with maybe i think 13 seconds left and we're up six to seven it's very exciting we're going to go for two might as well it didn't really matter if we beat this team it's like going to be unbelievable we get a delay game piddling trying to decide on the play. And then so we're like, all right, fine.

We're still going to go for two. It's only five yards. Another delay game penalty. They still couldn't decide. And then now we kick the extra point, gets blocked, and then we lose. And that's what this podcast is going to be like that. It's like that play where it's like, yeah, we tried it, and it was terrible. So I don't know.

But that's what I think this show is. We just need to be fun and hope we're funny. I don't know. We might not be. Because we've got to get back in the groove of being funny. I think that's a big thing for comics is you got to be uh you know it's like hanging out with comedians that's why too i did i've always thought about doing a podcast in the fact that you like you should being funny is a muscle that you need to work and when you're not you know when you're just

watching like sad catasian all day long it gets down you know you're just watching sad Cartesian all day long, it gets down. You're not fun. Yeah. Just talking to yourself in your house. What was your major in college? I don't think I had it. What did you think you were going to major in? I think I said communication.

Do you major in something in community college? Yeah, you majored in a lot of things. That's what sent you to community college is you had some wrong majors. It was – I think I said communication was what my major was going to be. And I think I wanted to be in sports. Yeah, I was about to say, what do you think you're going to do with that? Yeah, this podcast one day. I was going to do, like, on Seinfeld, and he's like,

I could be a sports announcer. I like sports. You always talk about the funny things i say i say good comments yeah well they give those to guys that typically are in sports uh i think that's what i was going to try to be but i mean i i there was no concept of what i was going to get out of college like i went there and then i went to Western Kentucky for a semester. Again, all remedial classes. I failed bowling at Western Kentucky. How'd you do that? I don't even know.

It was more impressive. They told me it was more impressive than getting an A, was to fail it. And I'm an unbelievable – I'm not that bad at bowling either. I bowled a 266 as my high. In that class? No, no. Oh, okay. But since then, when I got out of college,

just on the local bowling circuit, me and my buddy Jeremy, they used to have, in Hermitage in Nashville, they do quarter mania bowling. And we used to go, and we got really good because we'd go every Wednesday and bowl for four hours. And so we ended up getting pretty good. And now we go back to it, and they do, it's like disco, or it's like music bowling, where it's like a night, because now we're older.

And you go in, just the lights go off. It's like glow-in-the-dark. Cosmic bowling. Cosmic bowling. And so you're just, and music is super loud, and you're like, you know, I'm not a, I want the music down. I'm not a fun car ride. You don't listen to music in the car?

No. No, I can listen to nothing. Like, I like listening to, I can listen to podcasts, or I listen, I don't know, podcast, radio, like sports talk a lot. I like listening talk a lot. I like listening to a lot of talk radio. And I've been known to not cut the radio on for quite a bit. Are you talking?

When you all ride together, are you talking the whole time, or is it just silence in the car? No, we talk. He makes me stay quiet. I make him sit in the back and face back and face backwards. You're in a station wagon? Yeah, in a station wagon. No, I'm not, and that's the part that's frustrating.

It's just a regular car, but he still needs his face backwards. No, I don't cut it on. I'm trying to get more into me. I told my wife that we were listening. They made me a playlist for Father's day with just a bunch of like father daughter songs stuff makes you cry you meant to you start the older you get you can cry a lot easier too as a you know you're a young man right how old are you 28 you're a young uh man and you probably don't have any intentions of crying you don don't feel like crying is in your world.

I cry more than I'm proud of. You do? But I do it very privately. I get into movies, TV shows. Yeah. I'll cry. When was the last time you cried? Oh, dude, probably two nights ago.

Contagion? Not contagion. No, that's a different cry. That's a very different kind of cry. You mean to say they did do good in contagion? So a kid dies at the very beginning. I don't want to make anything away. But again, it's a different cry that's a very different you mean to what they did doing good and contagious like so the kid dies at the very beginning until i don't make anything away but again it's a movie it's an old movie it's an old movie right yeah so the kid dies uh because he gets it the mom and the kid when gwyneth paltrow's in this and she dies immediately and which is pretty crazy like her

she's just like it's like she's like i can do this movie but not that long and they're like all right we're gonna kill you off real fast and uh so she dies and the kid dies but they don't really show it so so much of the kid dying it's not this like long drawn out thing which i was happy with so it's not this like tear you're not like emotionally like you know it's kind of like it happens and it's about just moving the story along which i did you know kudos for that contagion you know i like to promote this podcast people go like when did this podcast come out like 94 yeah it's an old one but you're saying scenes like that affect you a lot more now that you're yeah i don't want no now that you're dead yeah man like uh i mean commercials anything when you have have a kid, I think the older you get. My dad can cry.

He cries all the time. So I think once you hit a certain age, I'm 41, so I think you get 40 and above, just the waterworks, it's open, man. You can just cry. I mean, you try to. In public or just at the house? No, I don't. There's no, like, just bawling. You know what I mean, you try to... In public or just at the house? No, I don't... There's no, like, just bawling.

You know what I mean? Like, there's no, like, it's just, like, you're not, like... You don't lose it. I don't lose it. No, it's very much like a dude trying to keep it together. But you can feel more emotions come out than I think normally. Than I did when I was a younger man. Yeah.

And I think it just gets worse. I mean, that's what I think, that it's just going to keep going. It's going to be a nightmare. I've noticed that just with my parents. Just more emotional about stuff over the years. Yeah. You get sentimental about stuff that you were never sentimental about. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Yeah, you can picture stuff and, yeah, you start, I don Yeah, you start bawling. Anyway, that's what we're trying to do here at the Nate Land Podcast. We get a moment of everybody's crying. If we have one show where all three of us cry, that will be the last episode we do. It will be the end. I can't even predict it.

I'm not saying. we do. It will be the end. I can't even predict it. I'm not saying. I'm saying in the second episode if all three of us cry, then this show is cancelled. I think one of us cries will have to have a discussion. You know what I mean? I think they might be voted out.

I don't know if I would like it. I would be very uncomfortable. That would probably be me. You would cry. Age. Yeah. We got Bates on the computer, the guy that, I mean, we just taught him that he can type in the browser.

It was the funniest. We had him looking up something on Google. So we said, just search it. And he goes to, in the browser, he goes to google.com to then type into the Google, go into the page.com to then type into the page. You've got to search for Google first. You've got to search for Google first. And then he went and typed it in.

Yeah, where's Google at? Where to find it? Let's search for it. I feel like as you get older, you just get steps like that in your life that you're like, yeah, you don't need that step anymore. You're like, I'll still use this other step. You went into it as if the internet was made yesterday, and we were trying it. And you're like, go to Google.com first.

And then I had you go to the private window, too. You just logged in. I'm just going to get your emails now because I'm the regular one. Well, I had to log in on my MySpace. Yeah, I remember. I was the computer guy at my elementary school when I was in first grade, like when the school started using the internet. And I remember I got called out of class by another teacher,

and they brought me into the classroom, and she had typed out a URL in Netscape, the browser they were using. Yeah. And she goes, okay, I got it typed out. How do I make it go? And I just pressed enter, and it walked out of the room. I'm reminded of that just watching Bates fly around on the computer here. There you go.

Yeah, you press enter. Enter. There you go. How do you spell Netscape? I remember, you know the thing I was blown away by technology wise DVR I remember when DVR so I'm not going to give this joke away but like

because I talk about it in my new hour but I talk about being I was born in 79 so we're like I'm a generation gap so I was in between so I didn't have computers or nothing growing up but then I did have them when I was in high school. We had AOL and stuff. We got that.

So I'm in a world that I kind of, in my formative years, I've grown up with nothing and then having stuff. But I remember DVR. When I first heard about DVR, I could not my head around it and I mean I was probably in my 20s I guess it's been around for a while now has it been 10 years or whatever but so it's been around for a while but when I first heard it I just couldn't understand like how are you recording live TV like you know I was like where is it going like what's and it was like the first technology thing that I just couldn't believe

like i just didn't i was just tivo at that point right it was tivo yeah and i was like you can rewind it like it doesn't make it didn't make sense to me that that stuff worked and it took a long time for me to i'm not saying i even really get it now i'd like you to explain it to us right now i don't know does it go into the future yeah i think you think it goes to the future it goes i know i think i can see what's going on tomorrow that's how i check tomorrow's weather it's fast forward to tomorrow but you would you would record stuff with like a vhs tape right from tv yeah yeah yeah so it's the same principle but it's just not a vhs tape it's just a hard drive yeah hard but i mean it was a hard drive you know i mean how is this even working how are we hearing this there's a lot of stuff that's crazy.

I think there's a lot of stuff that no one knows how it truly works. Like even these microphones. Someone could kind of tell you, and then I think they would be like, eventually they would get to a point and they'd go, I mean, it's a thing. You put a thing in there. They could talk to you a little bit about it, and then they would would go then it's like a thing and i would tap out pretty quickly yeah you're having to do a microphone no somebody explain it i mean i don't know yeah any of the terms dynamoid car you know what i'm talking about you know i heard of those words

wow uh i heard a google tech expert five minutes. Let's go on the scene to our tech expert, Aaron Weber. Aaron, how's it going down there with the dymoids? And then you just, and then you pop in. Hey, everybody. I'm here in the dymoid section. We had a fight breakout. That word is probably so far off from what I've tried. Have you ever heard that word before?

Talking about microphones? No. Carthoid? Carthoid? Y'all know what I'm talking about? The sound guy knows what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's all in there, dude. We're not supposed to show the other people in the room because of COVID, but no, let's go ahead. No, I'm joking. I'm joking. Sorry.

You go, I don't know. Guy, come on. We have 50 people in the room. This room's packed. 60 people are in this room. Nobody can tell me what... We're trying to act like we're We're like we're all Zoom

We're not near each other 100 people in this room You guys all bought tickets to this Five people have the flu And you're going to tell me The guy in the back coughing You don't know What a carphoid is

What a carphoid is In between the coughs I mean we're in a pandemic, man. It's all... We did temperature checking. That works. You had... You actually had a COVID test.

I did, man. You did. That was my big adventure. To go do that. Yeah. So, Zany's in Nashville, which you weren't't in zany's but zany's in nashville uh i did a show there a couple weeks ago they're doing they're doing all the proper things they have the seats spread out it doesn't look like it when you're when everybody's in there it does feel

it was less people but it feels packed but it's because when you when everybody would leave and you see the tables they were properly the way this should be and then when everybody gets in there obviously and no one's been out so it even feels worse you know than it is so we did a show then dl hewley was there and he did a show and he passed on stage i'm sure a lot of people saw that video he just like started like rambling you know like something happened And then he passed out on stage and then tested positive for COVID. So everybody at Zany's had to get tested. D.L. might still be in Nashville. He had to quarantine for 14 days.

And he's fine now. He put videos out. And then as we know, no one's tested positive at Zany's from it. So it seems like no one's got it. But everybody had to go do it. Your fiance, she said she works there she tested negative yeah you had to get tested too yeah and then so how was that where'd you go right outside of nissan stadium they have a big parking lot oh really

set up and it's this huge drive-through they got cones it's this huge it was like i was actually really impressed with it. I expected it to just be a nightmare. Yeah. But, I mean, it took about two hours. But you just drive up. You don't have to sign up. You don't have to pay.

Yeah. You just go up and do it. Did you guys go together? Yeah, two of us. I think you can have two people in a car. Okay. Did it hurt? It did.

It did hurt pretty bad. Like, what are they? Do they stick the thing yeah and it's like a it's like a little straw a really thin straw they shove up your nose and then they twist it oh and they go pretty far you don't know how far you can go up your nose until somebody does that they go up pretty high it's like is it like you think it's going to stop two times before it stops oh dude yeah and you're like that's got to, you think it's going to stop two times before it stops? Oh, dude. Yeah. Like, you're like, that's got to be, whoa.

Yeah, there's more there. There's some more room. It's like you just keep opening doors to a house, and you're like, there's another door. And then you keep going. I was trying, the whole time, so there's like three checkpoints when you pull up. There's, it took like two hours total, but like 30 minutes into it, a guy stops you. He takes all your information then like 30 minutes later another guy stops you verifies all your information and then like 45 minutes later you get to where they do the actual test yeah so i was thinking

the whole time like we're the 900th car maybe to come through that day and it was like noon yeah so i was thinking the whole time, like when I waited tables, I was obsessed with the small talk. Yeah. Like there's like three jokes that people make. Yeah. At a restaurant. Yeah.

You know, like you like making these jokes. Well, I was, I was one, like, I didn't want to be a hack. Yeah.

In the dry, in the COVID test. Yeah. Right. You don't make your, yeah. You don't make the guy that it's like, all right.

Like how many of these same conversations are they having all day? So I was like, I'm going to try to have like a genuine moment with one of these people. Right. So the first guy stops, he goes, what's your last name? And I said, Weber. And he goes, 1B or 2. And I was like, 1, like the grill, not the basketball player. That was my big joke.

Yeah. And he gave me nothing. Yeah. Like he might have, you know, not the basketball player. That was my big joke. Yeah. And he gave me nothing. Yeah. He had a mask, so maybe he smiled. I don't think he did. Was it like what we just gave you when we heard it? Yeah.

It was worse than that, actually. It was worse? He made it worse? He was like, ugh. I made it stay worse. You heard him go, I hope you have it. And you're like, what's that? And he goes, nothing. And then he's like, I don't think they're supposed to say that.

I'm rooting for this guy to have it. And I hope it's bad. So I bomb real bad. And then you've got to wait. Then you've got 30 minutes before your next checkpoint. So I was thinking, I've got to. Try it again? Double down on that joke?

Let's workshop the joke a little bit in the car and then the next guy goes he goes weber it's weber with one b and i go yeah like the grill and he goes no i got it he just ended it not having that guy beeped for and goes got a car here terrible joke and he let him go he's like no no no, no, no, no. We're fine. Look, to be fair, it's a pretty dire situation. I mean, it's like we're testing for a pandemic. Yeah, yeah. Right? It's a tough.

Are they all wearing hazmat suits? It's a tough crowd. Yeah, kind of hazmat suit. Or like the white starter jacket. Not a full head thing, but they got masks on. And old Titans. Gloves. Titans wear.

They all have Titans. They should do do that they all just have titans uh eddie george jerseys and you're like oh okay with the visor yeah yeah so the last guy he's got he's doing the actual test right so we're a little nervous because we've heard that it hurts so the guy i rolled out the window and he walks up he goes just to let you know it's gonna be a little bit of discomfort and i go i heard it feels really good yeah to try to get he gave me he gave me one of these yeah he was so over it so i bombed real bad and uh but that was my big adventure i think they don't yeah it's like it's it's it's like they they just how many people are they going to talk to? How many people are uncomfortable? I know.

And so it's like, yeah, I get it. You want to be fun and funny. And then they're just like, I don't care. They got moving along. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, dude, everybody's a line. No one cares about your dumb jokes. Do they?

And so it's like, it hurts or it's very uncomfortable. It's like a shot. It's it just, it's very uncomfortable. It's like very weird. It's like a split second of extreme discomfort. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then it's over. It doesn't last. And then how long

before you find your results? Took me about a week. I found out yesterday that I don't have it, by the way. Positive. Yeah. You're like,

what's that? Surprise! Maybe I should have left with that. Yeah, yeah. I don't have it. You go, you undo an envelope,

so we're going to find out. You're like, what? Dude, no! Maybe I should have left with that. Yeah. I don't have it. You go, you undo an envelope, so we're going to find out. You're like, what? Dude, no. Look before you get here. Yeah, I don't have it. You don't have it. Yeah. That's good.

Did they do the antibody test, too? No, I don't have it. You got to go. They weren't doing that. They weren't doing that. No, you can go to like a Walgreens or something, and I think they can do those there. Yeah. And see if you've had it

yeah that's crazy man that's uh you know I wonder if everybody's gonna have to get it it's like the test like you think we're just slipped through the cracks and not do a test or does everybody have to go do the test I think everybody pretty much thinks they've already had it sometime I feel like everyone I know thinks they had it in February before it even became a thing that's just a cool time to say you had it i know that's what it's all okay you're like i got like a cold in february i was thinking that for a while i was like i'm gonna start going i had it two years ago like you just you need to be i want to be that guy that does like uh i was one of the first ones i was was one of the first ones. I brought it here. I brought it here. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the guy.

Well, Gwyneth Paltrow getting in contagion. That's ruining it. But they narrow it down to her. Like, she's, I mean, they're looking at videos, and she's straight up, like, the problem. And then brings it home and then just kills everybody. Well, doesn't it happen, like, the back of a restaurant somewhere? Yeah, there's, like, a pig or something. And then, yeah. Yeah then just kills everybody. Well, doesn't it happen like the back of a restaurant somewhere? Yeah, there's like a pig or something. And then, yeah, a pig had it first.

This pig got it. I don't remember his name, but he has a joke. He's calling the guy a pig. All right, stuff like that, guys, that you will see at the Nate Land podcast where we get stuff out of the way, jokes out. Do you think you'd do a joke about it? About what? On stage, like COVID.

I mean, based on how that story did just now, probably not. You've got to punch it up a little bit. Yeah, I mean, you've got the bad jokes out there, so maybe if something new comes along, you know. Do they lean over you? I feel like what if they don't walk to the other side? So both of you are in the car, and they have to lean over one of you and go, nah, I got to do it.

And you're like, why are you coming to this? They come around to each side. What if your window didn't work? You know, like you ever go to a drive-thru, like you have an old car, and like your window's weird? Yeah. And then you can't. You got to go through the crowd?

You got to go, yeah. Yeah, and then it makes it way worse. He's like i've never done it like this like you don't want them to say like that's the thing they say before they do it i've never tried it like this i'm what you what if you pulled up and you hear the guy just go i'm gonna try this one with my left hand and then you just see like and he's just like i don't know he's nervous with it because you know you're much more confident like i'm you know but then the guy's like i did something my finger so i'm gonna do my left hand on you and you're like more confident. But then if a guy's like, I did something to my finger, so I'm going to do my left hand on you.

And you're like, no, I'll just wait, man. I'd walk away. I'd be like, I'm good. You'd just drive away? If the guy was like, I'm going to try my left hand. And I'm going to go, what hand do you normally use? He goes, right hand. But I want to try left hand with you.

Switch it up. But if he wants to try, he wants to change it up. Dude, he's bored. Dude, you've sunken two hours into this already. Like, in line waiting and you would let him do your left hand hold a pin with your left hand are you like do you not feel a little sketchy with this yeah i'm not comfortable right now yeah and if you had a like you don't think you would be you don't think you would you would be like no no no now do your right hand i mean i prefer you feel amazing yeah i feel amazing yeah i think i could mean, I prefer using my right hand.

Yeah, I feel amazing. Yeah. I think I could give you the test with my right hand. With your right hand? Left hand, I feel uncomfortable. Yeah. You were out of town when all that happened. Did you consider just not getting around your fiance until she was tested? If she was having symptoms, I would have stayed away from her.

But I had a few days in between. By the time I got back into town, from everything I read, she would have started to have symptoms by then. Plus, I was just lazy. So I was like, you know what? I just started to go do the test. This is maybe the best way to get it. We can have a shared experience.

It's like chicken pox. We can suffer together. Yeah, exactly. You know, I've never had chicken pox. Really? Yeah. We tried to get it when I was growing up. My brother had it.

And so like as most parents do, my brother, they would make us sleep in the same bed. They were trying to make me get it because they want you just to get it to get over with. And I never got it. And I still haven't had it. And I think we even did it to see if I like maybe I did have it didn't know but and i was like oh maybe i'm immune to it i just told people that and i don't think that's true uh the chicken box still i think they're still around let me get on it there so come back we're gonna do a commercial break as brian looks up this for 40 minutes.

He's still typing in the Google. Yeah. Chickabucks. Yeah, it's still around. There it is. Well, we don't know. Scroll down on the right. Let's see how many cases per year this is. Fewer than 200,000.

So now it's preventable by vaccine. So now you shouldn't get it, right? Yeah, you shouldn't get it now. All right, that's good. That's something. That's the positive news today, guys. Chickenpox is out of the way. On to the next.

We get like a news person that goes, turns out, guys, chickenpox is on the decline. Anyway, up next, Aaron Weber, as in not the basketball player, the grill. Next, we're going to talk to Aaron Weber, like the grill, not the basketball player, about his COVID test. There's something there. Yeah, at the Houston Oilers drive-in. That would be like a sports. They get someone non-sports to go cover it and they're like i'm at the houston oilers facilities and everybody's like what uh

speaking of uh one name pronouncing a name first of all i saw i feel like my name uh has been pronounced many different ways and uh it's something i do get asked a lot and by a lot maybe six people but they asked me how to say it so jimmy fallon would always say bargazzi and that's how he said it and i honestly think i say we say it wrong as our family i think i think we pronounce i think our accent just made us trail off and we pronounced it wrong. And we say Bar-get-see, Bar-get-see, instead of Bar-got-see. But I accept all sayings. I've never been, you know, whatever anybody's going to say.

Which we, I did a little fun fact. I did the Ancestry.com thing, right? So're we're what i've always been told we're italian our family comes from like northern italy i guess near switzerland uh that's when i learned those two places touch and they uh and i think it's northern i don't even know could be uh but they so that we're italian that's what we've always said my whole life. We're Italian, all that stuff. I used to have a joke about I'm Italian, but we're not good Italian, all that. So then I do Ancestry.com, get it back, 0% Italian. Zero.

None of it. I mean, my whole life I thought I was Italian. And I told someone in my family who's older, I said, it said 0% Italian. And he's like, well, that's not right. So he is against the science of it, which I love that he's like, that's... He's old enough to be like, I'm not. It's not. Who are they to know?

Which is true. You're just spitting in a... He just discounted the whole test. The whole Ancestry.com. Which I, you know, good. I mean, you do just spit in a thing. So you're like, I don't know. Who knows where this thing goes?

But it said zero. It wasn't a little. It wasn't a hint. It was, I mean, it was like they drove to my house and said, you're out of your mind. You've been telling people you're a dad. Like they were upset about it. Yeah.

And, uh, so that, that changed everything. But so I actually, I was like looking up some stuff and when I, if you type my name in Google, I saw a pronunciation came up and you can listen to how people pronounce it.

And, and to see which one's right. Do that one again. That's good. Yeah, he's got a little bit of an accent. Go to the third one. I think the third one is. That's about right.

That's about right. Now let's go to Hong Kong. How are they? I'm doing pretty good to Hong Kong. How are they? I'm doing pretty good in Hong Kong. This podcast has been out for two years in Hong Kong. Nate Barkinsa. One more time. Nate Barkinsa.

All right. By the way, people have said my name like this that are all just American. It's like a different. That was Nate Barkinsa? Go to Dutch see what Dutch is I've been I've been I've had that as you browse you're brought on stage huh and just some guy like oh gosh there's no idea and he just says please welcome to stage Nate Barg barhatsa yeah yeah turn that g into

an h yeah uh so another thing so i i have a google alert set up on my name and uh i'd imagine i hope a lot of comics do and i don't seem like i'm just a nightmare but it's usually nothing that you get google alerts about it's like your album's been downloaded illegally. It's all just that kind of stuff. But sometimes I'll get a net worth thing, and my net worth is always kind of ridiculous. Because I'm not famous enough that they haven't scoured. You go look at other people's stuff,

it's all very scoured. I'm on the fringe where maybe someone's kind of trying, but they're not really trying. One of them said my net worth was $80 million, and I showed my wife that. I was like, we're getting a pool. We have a lot of money.

My favorite one has been this one that I looked up. And I don't know. I get this a lot, too. It says my birthday is June 30th, 1976, which is, you know, I mean, that would be today. Yeah. Happy birthday, buddy.

Happy birthday. That's wrong. My birthday is March 25th. I was born in 1979, but it says June 30th, 1976. So right off the bat. Dude, I think I just got a happy birthday from someone. It used to be that when you my Wikipedia or something

said June 30th. I don't know where that came from, but today, that's pretty funny. Today's my happy birthday. Yeah, man. It's a big day. 1976. How old am I? 44. 44 years old. Yeah. i'm 41 march 25th i want to make sure like i'm like how does that stuff get out as i as i just i'm the only one saying it you're like well you're saying it that's how uh so it says i'm from old hickory tennessee

and he's was also raised there i was uh i was born in Old Hickory and also raised there. I was born in downtown Nashville, Baptist Hospital. My parents, Stephen Bargetzi, that is my dad. He's a magician. My mom, Dorica Bargetzi, or Dorica, D-O-R-I-C--a i don't know if it's dorica or dorisa my mom's name is carol but uh my my real parents steven and dorisa uh had me i was born in old hickory i had three siblings okay i've learned of i thought i only had two it turns out I have three. One brother, Worf Bargetzi. W-O-R-F.

Worf. Worf Bargetzi. My other sister, Paige. And my other sister, Hardy. Hardy Bargetzi. And that's a girl? It's a girl. Worf, Paige, and Hardy are all my siblings.

Worf? Worf. Star Trek? Yeah. First time I've read it, I mean, I couldn't, I was uncontrollable. Like, I was laughing so hard. This sounds like somebody trying to get every fact wrong so far. I mean, it's just like, just put stuff in, you know?

I am married. My wife, Nate Bargetzi, is married to his wife named Shaddy Bargetzi. S-H-A-T-T-Y. Bargetzi, that's my wife. Shaddy. Which fits in. I mean, you would think his wife's name is Shaddy. You're like, well, that's a weird name.

You're like, well, he grew up with a wharf in Hardy. Do you think it's that weird that he married a Shaddy? That would fit with what you're attracted to. A hardy, like a breakfast? Like a breakfast. Hardy, she's a big girl. She's big. And Worf, we've lost contact with Worf.

We haven't talked to him in a while. We don't know where he's at. He got into some deep... He's on the dark web. I have two kids as well. It says I'm 5'8", too, which I'm like 5'10", 5'11". I like to say 5'11". I think I'm pushing 5'11", but probably 5'10".

I have two kids named Dutch and Oliver. O-L-I-V-I-E-R. How would you pronounce that? Olivier. Olivier? Right. What is it? O-L-I-V-I-E-R.

Oliver with an extra I in there. Yeah. So you think that was like when we named Oliver. Yeah, because it's a girl. So it's not Oliver. It's Olivier? Olivier. Yeah, that it's a girl. So it's not Oliver. It's Olivier. Olivier. Yeah, that's how I'd say it.

So maybe that's the Olivia joke. Maybe that's where that, and then they went Olivier. Yeah. Because then someone said, I bet his daughter's name is Olivia. He talks about that on Netflix. And they go, he's not going to use their real name. I bet it's Olivier. So you and Shaddy.

Me and Shaddy. Just wanted to have a French name for a kid. Had a couple girls. Wow bet it's Olivier. So you and Shaddy just wanted to have a French name for a kid? I had a couple girls. Dutch and Olivier. Dutch is a solid could go boy or girl name. That might be it. I've had no I've been linked to no controversy

rumors and legal issues. So that's wrong. I mean, is there one thing about this that's right? Yeah. I went to McGavock High School and Tennessee State University. Could not probably get into either one of those things.

I think that's it. Yeah. That's so random it's pretty great yeah I love I mean I just love Hardy

Wolf Worf Worf Worf Worf would have been a better name well a lot of people call him Wolf and he gets upset about it that's why he ran off

because everybody's like this is my brother this is my brother Worf Worf Worf he gets real like and we're like, calm down, Worf. We have to tell him to calm down. He starts growling.

He growls, and you're like, Worf, calm down. Can you pull up a picture of Worf from Star Trek? Oh, there's a real Worf on Star Trek? Yeah, I can't remember if it's a species or a person, but he's got a weird... W-O-R-F. Wait, what? W-O-R-F. I think it might be W-A-R-F, but it's W-O-R-F.

Oh, yeah, Worf from Star Trek. Yeah, there you go. Let's see what this guy looks like. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy looks like a Worf. That's what your brother looks like. Yeah, that is my brother. No, it's his son, right? No, yeah, yeah. That guy looks like a wharf. That's what your brother looks like. Yeah.

That is my brother. No, it's his son, right? No, it's his brother. His son is Olivier. Olivier and Dutch. Dutch, yeah. No, it's two daughters. You don't have a kid's name.

That is a wharf that if you saw him and you were like, his name's Wharf, you'd be like, all right, yeah. You know what I mean? If that guy showed, just say that guy in real life walks up and just goes, hey, his name's Worf, you'd be like, all right, yeah. You know what I mean? Like if that guy showed, just say that guy in real life walks up and just goes, hey, my name's Worf, you would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you would not be like, what's that? You would almost be able to guess it. I think you would almost be like, what do you think his name is? You're like, Worf?

For some reason I'm feeling Worf. It feels like it. If a kid comes out with that forehead, you almost have to call him Worf. That's like the opposite. You can't just call him Tom. I know. Billy. That's like the opposite of when a baby sleeps on their head and their head gets flat.

Oh, the cone head thing? The cone head. That's like if he slept face forward too long and the parents never gave him a helmet to straighten him back out. They never did it. Which, speaking of, go to sleeping head first, like an owl.

I posted a picture of that yesterday. So this is how owls sleep, apparently. Baby owls sleep face down because their heads are too heavy to hold up. And I'm apparently... He's got dead mouths. I know. Well, he's asleep. Oh.

That's how mice sleep, too. Don't presume. This podcast is not about presuming. We don't know what the motive of that owl was, if he killed that mouse or not. don't know what the motive of that owl was if he killed that mouse or not uh but they i i get sent like uh animals lying down like how they sleep that's like my thing now like i just get i get i get coffee stuff all day long oh sure and then i get any animals but this one was a good one i mean and now sleeping like that is just it looks like he had a night i mean he went out and just lived it up and then didn't even make it all the way back into his house he look at this face down do you think you would dread going to bed if that's

how you had to sleep and you want to be my latex salesman. Yeah, just couldn't make it. I mean, he's like, oh, just wakes up the next morning just like, just like what happened, you know, has no idea what happened. That's the only bird that could lay down like that, right? Don't owls have flat faces? Yeah, I mean, they look like wharf. I think they do. Yeah. yeah yeah this says his head's

too heavy to hold up that doesn't explain why it's face down in the dirt what if you could talk to owls and go have you ever thought about laying on your back though and then they go you know i don't know if i have uh and then one of them tries it, and he's like, are you kidding me? He goes, why didn't we ever think about it? This is so much better. You're like, yeah, dude, all our heads are heavy. I agree. Our heads are too heavy. Hold on.

Can't owls rotate their head all the way around to begin with? That's false. No, I don't know if that's false. That sounds like something you would say to an owl. That's true. That's true. I think they can do it all the way, like the exorcist. They could just.

See if owls can get chicken pox. Even if the owl's face down, it could just turn its head around before it passes out. Oh, yeah, for it. Like it just does a... Right? There's literally... The more I think about it, the more I think that that owl is dead in that picture. The barred, bared, or barred owl can turn its head.

It's at 270 degrees in each direction which means they can look to the left by rotating all the way to the right or vice versa so they can basically go look up an owl x-ray someone posted that they said look that up and uh because their legs are something's real weird uh oh i don't like that at all what is that is this what they oh dude oh that owl's giving a getting a covid test those don't look like owls huh those don't look like well i don't know that's the point right is it yeah i think that's because they're they're yeah they're all feathers? Yeah, there are a lot of feathers. It's a big part of an owl is the feathers. It's one of those gigantic factor.

It wasn't as fun. Do owl x-ray legs. Someone said look up something. Just click on an image. There you go. Try it, Jimmy. I mean, you click on the one thing that's not an x-ray let's take a closer look at the spine yeah let's do that just do the yeah just do the legs i don't think it's anything this i mean

no go to the one that shows the two legs i mean my goodness what are you talking about i don't even know what we're talking about i'm gonna get my grandmother to come in here and work on the look up stuff it doesn't matter go back to go back to the tweet of the of the picture now have you verified that this is a sleeping owl? Of course not. With anybody else? No, I did not. Has anybody called you out about it in the comments? Probably. I think someone, well, I don't know. I've been called out before.

I had a guy message me because I posted a dead horse, but not a dead horse, the horse laying down. I have a joke about that. but not dead horse the horse laying down i have a joke about that and a guy sent me a dm and said he wants to punch me in the face for for uh for posting dead animal pictures like that's my thing which to be fair to him after this owl one it might be my thing and uh he's but he did this whole big thing you who do you think you i mean he was like real mean yeah and uh i never really comment to dms especially like mean ones they i have a rule there's a good rule that i think everybody could use in real life if you get something if someone's mean to you on the internet or they do something you give yourself 24 hours and if you want to comment after 24 hours then

you could give you then you're more than welcome to comment but you will never want to comment after 24 hours, then you're more than welcome to comment. But you will never want to comment after 24 hours. You're over it. You don't care. But in the heat of the moment, you want to engage. So you've got to give yourself 24 hours. This guy I engaged with just because he was yelling at me about pointing these things. And so I think he just saw it some other way. So I very much enjoyed going, hey, man heads up I'm a comedian I have a joke about I thought a

horse was dead but he was they can just lay down and I just explained it he never responded back he did a I saw it said scene so he saw it and that's all and that was enough so it's a guy who's unfamiliar with your your comedy but just think so your profiles just all these animals that look like they're That was enough. So it's a guy who's unfamiliar with your comedy. But just thinks like I'm a guy. He sees your profiles, just all these animals that look like they're dead. Who does this guy, what world are we living in that this guy can just post dead animals? And he's amassed quite a following just posting dead animals on his Instagram. It's disgusting, the people that like it, that like that kind of stuff.

I'll get some mean ones sometimes where they tell me my comedy stinks. But you can always look at the time, and it's always like 4, 30 a.m. You're like, that guy is about to go to sleep like that owl. He is loaded. And those are kind of fun sometimes because sometimes you're like, I'm sorry, man. Yeah, I wish you liked me or whatever, but I hope you have a good night. I just say something like that because the next day they're like,

I'm so embarrassed about me. Like they just feel so bad because they were like, I got tore up last night and said some stuff. So, all right, there's the owl. That was the owl picture. Another, so stuff we're doing in the COVID thing that, uh, we were doing it before COVID, but trying to get through, uh, I was showing my daughter, uh, the Star Wars movies. And so I, I can end up looking up a bunch of stuff.

I look on like how you're supposed to watch things. Uh, I like looking stuff up and, uh, I, the and the route that we chose was the machete order which if you don't know the machete order what's the explanation? or you know it I had not heard of this

until Nate told me about it and I was going to be pretty skeptical I was at first but then I read about it and I was like alright it makes sense like most things he's mostly skeptical

and then I make sense probably 95% of the time well it's because all right it makes it makes sense like most things he's mostly skeptical and then i make sense probably 95 well it's because he wasn't explaining it the guy who wrote it explained it and then it made sense so it's basically saying if you're watching star wars all the star wars movies for the first time if you go in uh the order they were released no I'm sorry if you go in chronological order and start with the Phantom Menace the prequels

then the big reveal of Darth Vader being Luke's father you're gonna there's not gonna be a big reveal because you're gonna know it from watching the prequels you know what I mean?

you're gonna see him Anakin become Darth Vader. So if you want to keep that big surprise, then... We're giving a lot of stuff away today. Contagion, Star Wars. Right. So if you want to keep that big surprise,

you can't watch it like that. So then someone said, well, just watch them in order they were released. But the problem with that is, once the prequels came out with Hayden Christensen, George Lucas went into the Return of the Jedi, and at the end when Luke sees the ghost, Hayden Christensen's been placed in there.

Do you guys remember this? Yeah, I just watched it. They went in after the fact. Went in after the fact and did it. So if you're watching it that way, you're like, who's this guy? I don't even know who this is. Wow. Yeah.

So that can be confusing as well. So this guy, who's just some software engineer in Colorado, came up with the Machete Order, which is basically you watch A New Hope first, and Empire Strikes Back. A New Hope first, Empire Strikes Back, and so you see Luke become, you know, as he starts out as a young man and starts learning the Force and then finds out that Darth Vader's his father.

Then you go, you skip Phantom Menace altogether. Yeah, they said no one likes it. Jar Jar Binks, there's no real purpose in it, so he said just skip it altogether. So the third one you watch is Attack of the Clones. That's where you see Anakin as a young man, much like Luke was in A New Hope. And you see his rise to become Darth Vader. That's when Luke and Princess Leia are born, right?

Right. In Revenge of the Sith. That's the fourth one you watch. So go A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back. Then you go to the prequels, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the sith that's the fourth one you watch so go new hope empire strikes back then you go to the prequels attack of the clones revenge of the sith then uh once you see darth become anakin become darth you go back to return of the jedi and kind of see how it it it finishes out and then this was written before the last three came out then it says just watch those last three i think yeah yeah does that make watch those last three in order. Yeah, yeah.

Does that make sense? It makes sense. It's preserving the Luke storyline is what the guy says. What's funny is I don't even really care. I like Star Wars, but I'm not a huge Star Wars guy. I'm not Marvel. My dad and my brother are way into this kind of stuff.

I was never Harry Potter. I was never, like I'm just not into like a ton of fantasy. I like Superman. I like all this. I like them. But I'm just, there's, this is a very intense way to do it. But I was just looking for some way to show her. And so that's how I stumbled upon this.

The only thing is she was like Luke being her big surprises I think for her when we did this order A, when the Death Star blows up was one of the funnest moments I got to see as I'm going to cry. No, I'm joking.

I'm going to start crying the first episode. I didn't make it out of the first episode. moments I got to see as I won't cry no joke I guess I would start crying the first episode I didn't make it out of the first episode I'm gonna start crying uh uh the uh is her with Death Star blowing up just her face of just like whoa like you know and because you wanted she was invested in the movie and then uh and then seeing uh when we actually watched Jar Jar Binks we, at first we started, I was going to just watch them all in order, but then she sees Luke, the father, but Princess Leia being his sister was a big surprise too for her

to figure that out. Did you do this machete order? I did, but we watched one. Did you tell her that they were, like did you just tell her, this is all in order or did you let her know we're watching these out of order i mean she's seven so i don't know if she was diving into i mean i i've been watching a couple were pretty easy then after that it was kind of making her i'm making her watch them like i mean she got kind of like yeah she

teased me with it she said we can watch star wars like if you let me stay up or watch like that's how she gets to watch it yeah uh but so she did that and so yeah i mean i kind of told her but like you know i don't know how much it's interesting to me that the special effects hold up for a yeah for a kid i think they're better the older ones i think it's easier to watch it's not as scary as uh the newer ones and so it's easier it's easier for them to watch is you know not as bad where I think about Harry Potter next is uh the plan I don't think I've ever watched I've watched maybe a couple Harry Potters yeah have you read the books no I did I read do you know who you're talking to yeah i know that's why did i read uh i've read some books yeah they what have i read uh i read uh what's the hunger games hunger games i read the hungry oh okay all the hunger games i loved it i went to a nice book phase uh kind

of out of it right now that was he thought it was a food book i thought yeah it was uh i read uh hunger games i loved the book was awesome uh i read i remember my dad wanted me to read hobbit and i just was like yeah and i thought i was like he wants me to read it just to read it but i just don't care like and then I've never seen Lord of the Rings they really watch those yeah I read but I read I read a lot of military like you know like some of those lone survivor like that book they made that movie yeah you know so I don't know start trailing off I don't know i've read some i've read some stuff uh i read i read books jerry a lot of seinfeld references i read his the unauthorized biography yeah you ever read those like it's kind

of crazy someone writes a just like a fan writing about i mean it's a it's a guy that writes these books and so they they like they did one on jordan that was a big one yeah it was doing michael jordan like uh and you read his like the jordan rules was all just a a guy that that that was not like a part of the group they talked about it the last dance like so it was you know that's a big thing but they had one on seinfeld i read a long time ago and they're all pretty good i mean sometimes those are the ones you know that's a big thing but they had one on seinfeld i read a long time ago and they're all pretty good i mean sometimes those are the ones you know it's hard to tell if you feel bad because it's like getting written by some dude uh but those are the ones i think that

you get more out of it than you would from a guy that's not going to be open to talk about stuff like you know i mean jordan's not going to talk about being mean to B.J. Armstrong in his book, but that guy did. They fought and all the stuff that came out in Last Dance that he did. So I don't know. I like that kind of stuff. I haven't read a book in a while, though. It actually has been a while, and I enjoy it.

I would read at night. I don't know, or in bed. I should do that. Did would read at night. I don't know. Or in bed. I should do that. Did you read the Dan Brown books? I did. Oh, yeah. What's that movie?

Da Vinci Code? Da Vinci Code. I read Da Vinci Code. And then, yeah. I forget stuff, man. I have a problem reading a book, and then I'll just be like, what is going on? And I'll just forget the whole beginning. I'll read a book and I'll realize I haven't been paying attention the last five pages.

Yeah, yeah. Like I've been reading it. Yeah. But you're thinking about something else. But I haven't processed the words at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do that a lot. I do it in watching movies too.

I can not get – I'm trying to think if there's any movies I've watched twice. I think there's probably... Sometimes where you think, you're like, wait, have I seen this movie before? You think that, but I think I've watched movies twice, and I don't even have that thought. I'm just like, and they go, no, we haven't. I haven't seen it. Yeah, I can do that where your mind kind of wanders and then you you know you don't know where you're at i've been i've read a lot of books where i don't get a bookmark

and i just for the life of me can't find where i left off so i just give up yeah done that a bunch you know you don't fold it fold this fold the page aaron oh you're right i mean yeah yeah i could do that I could do that. That's old school, guys. I don't like doing that. You mess the book up. There you go. Yeah, you ruin the book. And then you have a bunch of folded parts.

And then you get too many, and you're like, well, which one was the one? Exactly. But, you know, you can get a bookmark, note card works, just regular paper at your house. I mean, there's a lot of things. You can put a lot of stuff in the book. A pen. You could just throw a pen in the middle of the book and you could just open it up and lay it down

opened up i could do all these things yeah baby owl style just put it face down face down yeah yeah why don't you just do that do you go back and try to read it oh no yeah no you just get done those harry potter when i read the harry potter books i would i would read those whole books in one sitting oh yeah i would sit down and read it in like seven eight hours wow and just be done with it was it during your covid test you probably knocked something out of the covid test did y'all watch anything while you waited in line we just listen to music i think we just oh y'all Yeah. Do you turn your music very loud? I do when it's just me.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll crank it up. Do you ever get in a car when someone has their music super loud? Mm-hmm. And when they're driving, there's like four of you? Have you ever done that? Where it's preventing conversation from happening in the car? And you're just driving, and you're like, why are we doing it?

That's the part that I never understood. I'd rather people do that than you get in the car and the music is so low, it's like, why are you even... You can't even enjoy this. You know what I mean? You know those people? Turning up the two? Yeah. I mean, I can barely

tell what song this is. I turn it to two when I'm by myself, just to tell I enjoy music. You know what I don't listen to? I don't listen to words in music. I turn it to when I'm by myself just to tell I enjoy music. You know what I don't listen to? I don't listen to words in music. I'm not a good, like... Oh, okay. I don't take the words in.

I know a song is about the story, and I think there's songs that I like that are just brute. That could be about someone dying, and I'll be just fun listening to it because I like the beat. I'm not a good... I listen to music the way a dog would.

So you don't listen to instrumentals. You just ignore the words? I ignore the words. Okay. He's all about the beat. I'm about the beat. I don't think about the words. I'm never listening to it going,

what's this song about? I don't know what any songs are about. He's going to go like, don't fear the reaper. That's a great song. That's what I would do. I would love that song. And I do love that song. I don't know what that song's about.

It was about not dying or something. That song is like encouraging suicide. Oh, really? Yeah, 40,000 people every day, Romeo and Juliet. They're making a strong case. Oh, for? for yeah don't fear the reaper don't fear the grim reaper oh yeah yeah that makes sense like nate's a taylor schlift over here i know like that is and were people mad about that i don't i don't know if

they were mad they didn't take to the streets or anything but i think people are that they they they're encouraged. That is... Is that like a thing that people talk about, or is that just you saying that? Is that like something that... I think it's just known that that's kind of a dark song. It's about the... I thought it was a fun song.

Because I don't know what the word... Because of the cowbell and everything? Yeah. Saturday Night Live. They really changed that song, I feel like. Yeah. If that sketch hadn't come out, maybe people would feel differently about it now. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That is true. Don't Fear the Reaper, Romeo and Juliet. Like, everything's suicide. Yeah. 40,000 people every day. Die of suicide. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know if that number's accurate now. It just sounded good. It rhymed. I'm sure. It just goes. Rhythmically, it fits. Yeah, you're like, nah fits it's like 100 but 40,000 the rhythm

of that was just so good I couldn't do it maybe it is alright we're doing good we gotta be close are we like an hour we're right at an hour felt it it's pretty good

that's what we're gonna see like because i don't know how long these are gonna be look i think this thing could go uh i think we could quit this after one episode i don't i'm not feeling it so i'm probably not gonna do i'm not gonna be here for the next one but uh that's just me i think these guys should do it still like uh no i i think we will do these i mean i have ideas of just doing this we could uh how long this goes an hour more i don't know you know it's about being fun and funny and uh one thing i do want to try and i want to try it for the next one we brought Krispy Kreme donuts we had them today for everybody i get them every day but i thought

i would use it today but y'all go by there. Are they still open? I always act like that every time I go. Are they still? Or is it the one that's over? You ask a few times. So, we had Crispy King Donuts for people coming today. Aaron,

I mean, you said you could eat 36, but how many do you honestly think you could eat? I think I can eat a lot, too. If I was starving, but I would get, like, I can eat a lot, dude. I can eat them almost every day. Yeah. And I mean, I could maybe do a dozen.

I could maybe not. But I mean, how many do you honestly think you could do? Are you looking up the world record? Well, yeah. Well, the one. Could we set a world record in this next podcast? No. 257?

Well, don't. Well, those are hostess donuts. They're very, very different. Well, how many of those could you eat? Do Krispy Kreme. See if there's a record for Krispy Kreme. How many of those could I eat? I don't know.

Not a lot. Those are pretty heavy. There you go if there's a record for Krispy Kreme. How many of those could I eat? I don't know. Not a lot. Those are pretty heavy. There you go. That's a cake donut. A Krispy Kreme glazed donut is probably 80% air. He said he ate 12 first in 34 seconds. Matt Stoney. That guy's great, by the way.

Do you know him for real? He's a YouTube. He does eating challenges on me. Oh, God. He's just impressive. He's a YouTube. He does eating challenges. Oh, God. He's just impressive. He's a competitive eater. You like eating so much that you are into the athletes that do it. You know, I had a fun joke about the hot dog eating contest a long time ago

about that there's no fat people. You would think the guy that eats the most hot dogs should weigh 400 pounds, but the guy that Joey the most hot dogs should weigh 400 pounds. But the guy that Joey Chesna is in terrific shape. So fat people are not even good at what they're good at, that they get beat out by just tiny skinny. It's so crazy to me that you have to be ripped and muscular to eat all of these hot dogs. Don't you think you would just have a dude just plops up there,

weighs just enormous and just pounds all these hot dogs. You would think, I mean, don't you think you would just have a dude just plops up there where he's just enormous and just pounds all these hot dogs? Well, not if it's about speed. The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Chamber, that's about speed. If you're talking just like endurance. What are we going to walk? How long is this show going to be?

They're going to just show you all on 4th of July and you're just like all day you're just watching you well i understand i understand i'm saying that that that type of competition probably lends itself to a guy who's in shape but if but if it's if it's a mayor if talking like a marathon let's say we have an hour that's when the fatties come out huh now we're talking i know we're talking about the podcast we'll do it but so you're saying like if they had a show and it's like let's do a thanksgiving dinner show where it never stops getting served it's like an italian mom that keeps bringing food out as i know as a as full-blooded italian uh so. And it just never stops. That would almost be pretty good.

And who could keep going? That's actually a pretty good show. We do it where you just keep getting served, and who has to end up leaving the table? Who can stay? How long can you stay? That's when you'd see the fat guys come out. They would start to show up.

They'd start to show up. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They have to sit there and then i mean yeah but you got to be eating the whole time and they keep bringing because i think when you're speed eating when you're speed eating you're working all kinds of muscles and and and there's there's a real physical process to that yeah if it's just like for the love of the game like endurance yeah just Just who can last the longest.

Yeah. And even the hot dog eating championship, like they're never placing. They're not doing well. But there are some fat guys up there that are like the world ramen eating champion. They're just enjoying themselves. Yeah. They're up there. Yeah, exactly.

You hear them go, what's that? This is a competition? I thought this was the line for hot dogs. Mark and Knudsen's got that joke. What is it? Does he? He won a hot dog eating contest. He didn't even know he was in.

Oh. Yeah. So you think, how many, honestly, during this length of this podcast, how many Chris Bergundos did you eat? Oh, an hour? I could eat a dozen without even thinking about it. Yeah. You said 36 downstairs.

I said, no, listen, listen. I'm just walking you through. I could eat a dozen, like, about it yeah he's a 36 downstairs i said no let's listen listen i'm just walking you through i could eat a dozen like no problem dozens not even not even not even it would affect me later i mean it would compound over time but like a dozen no problem yeah uh i could add two dozen it's gonna start to yeah i'm gonna start to feel it a little bit yeah and then i mean it remains i mean I don't know how much I get of that third dozen. We'll find out. I think we should find out. Would you try it if we bring them in next time? We just put them in here.

Yeah, I would try it. I would try it for the science of it. Yeah. Whatever you got to tell yourself, man. It's for the science of it. That's what this is going to be In some Harvard lab in 15 years Like they're just looking at

You, they're studying this eating As long as it's in service of some greater good And it's not just me Living a dream Yeah, I mean I like them I wanted it as like Could you really get through I mean, I would be I wanted to... Could you really get through...

I mean, I would be impressed with two dozen, I think. Really? In an hour? Yeah, just the length of this podcast. Yeah. Now, can we set some rules? I mean... Can I leave in the middle of this, or is it in one sitting?

It's in one sitting. Okay. So I can't get up to uh go to the bathroom yeah no i don't okay i mean you shouldn't be doing it if you if you have to do that do we need a doctor yeah like that's like i'm just i've covered my bases here okay i can't leave i can have water we have a bathroom in this room if you go in there during this i would i would i would use a different bathroom. You would go, you would drive home and come back. I would probably go to a...

I've done that, by the way. Have you got a hotel room? Go get a hotel room. There was a Ray Romano... And something he shot about doing comedy, they did that somewhere. They actually got a hotel room. Wow. They had to go to the bathroom and

something they couldn't do, so they found some hotels like 50 bucks, and they're like, it is what it is. I went to Thanksgiving at a friend's house, and I snuck out and drove to a gas station. I drove back. Nobody knew. Yeah. I was like, I'm not about to do this to this nice family.

Yeah. He just let me in. Yeah. Make the rule he can go to the bathroom. And you and I are just talking. If the only bathroom I could use is right there, I would not use it. Yeah. I'm not doing that.

I think you've got to sit. It's what you think you can do here. So you think, yeah, 24, we'll get 24? I would get at least 24. If I got less than 24, I would be upset with myself. Yeah. Because I talked a big game earlier. Should I get 36?

We got to have it. We'll have 36. I'll have 36 here. Okay. And we'll see what you can do. Okay. And I think me and Bates could do... By the way, I'm not against...

I'm not being like, you're a big dude. Let's try to see how much you need. You say you could eat 36 to a breeze. You're right Being like you're a big dude Let's try to see How much you need You say you could eat 36 to a breeze You're right I was talking To Big Gabe earlier But I didn't think

I would be asked To do it publicly Yeah To put my money Where my mouth is That's the problem With this world People don't put their money

Where their mouth is And that's what This podcast is about Is putting your money Where No I don't know I'll never suggest I'm never going to say anything Yeah uh i want to i'll never suggest any i'm never

ever going to say anything yeah huh i want to counter and it dings every time you finish one it just tallies up we'll let everybody know what are you chocolate glazed oh just like you can't you can't glaze you can't introduce other stuff it's gotta be mix it up yeah right just glazed uh might get some chocolate for myself. I really regret doing this. We don't have to do it. No, I wouldn't. I think it's fun. We don't have to do it.

Now I feel like we have to, but I would do it. I'd just be curious to see what you can do. I mean, we had people, I think you could eat 12. I'll sit here with you. I'll try to see what I can get through. Yeah? I could probably get through a dozen. See, a dozen's not that much, dude.

I feel like you could. I mean, it is. Maybe I can can It's more than you're supposed to have I'll see if I can do a dozen I'll see what I can get through That would make me feel better about it You want to get in on this action Brian? I'll do chocolate Oh man

Yeah I could do three He's out I don't want to get the computer dirty He's going to take his medicine Yeah, I could do three. Well, he's out. I don't want to get the computer dirty. He's going to take his medicine. Brian's going to have laid out his pills that say Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. I have that. Do you?

I do. We'll crush up some pills, put them in the glaze for you. All right. So next week, we're going to get it. I'll see what I can get through. You see what you get through. He'll do it, and we'll just be doing that as we do the podcast. Sure. It'll be fun.

All right. Well, that was it. This is the first episode. I think we did it. It's something. This is something. We have something going on. Hand sanitizer.

Everybody's temperature was below what they're supposed to be, which is good. So, all right. I think that's it. So we'll see you next week. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts.

And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing

for the show is done by Genovation's Consulting and Partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.