The Nateland Podcast - 10: #10 | Babies

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

This week, the guys discuss the Artemis II mission, celebrity sightings at comedy shows, steak sushi, baby names, and much more. Quince: Quince.com/NATERefresh your wardrobe with Quince.  Go to Quince.com/NATE for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Pestie: https://pestie.com/NATEKeep the bugs away with Pestie. Go to https://pestie.com/NATE for 10% off your order.Factor Meals: Factormeals.com/nate50offHead to Factormeals.com/nate50off and use code nate50off to get 50 percent off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. See website for details. Square: square.com/go/nateGet up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/nate! #squarepod#ad

This message comes from Capital One Commercial Bank. Your business requires commercial banking solutions that prioritize your long-term success. With Capital One, get a full suite of financial products and services tailored to meet your needs today and goals for tomorrow. Learn more at Capital One.com slash commercial member FDIC. Oh, common folks and hey, unbearables. This is Brian Bates. Welcome to the public figures podcast. As always, I'm joined by Aaron Weber.

Hello. Good evening. Dusty Slay. All right. And I'm Brian Bates. And it's good to have another see you guys again. It's good to see you guys again. It is good to have another see you guys again.

I didn't know where I was going with that. But there's a lot to get to. It's always good to have another see you guys again. Well, one day we won't. That's true. One day we'll have seen you guys again the last time. Well, that's true.

So it's just something to think about. Well, I know you guys took April off, but you can see me this weekend in Rochester, New York. Oh. And comedy at the Carlson, two shows this Friday. So come check that out. But they're both sold out, right? They are. I'm just trying to make some content here.

I know, but you want people to go to the website to try to buy tickets and then they can't? No, I'm just saying you can see me. I didn't say anything about going to the other ones. Oh, okay, okay. Those of you bought a ticket, you know who you are. You can see me this Friday at Comedy at the Carlson. But don't you like the feeling of somebody trying to get ticket? Ah, it's sold out.

I do. Yeah, it feels good, right? I do. It's been sold out for a while because, as I've mentioned. You don't got to say it. Don't say it. Just take the win. Don't.

It's sold out. It's sold out. It's sold out. It's sold out. There's a line around the block. We're all doing it. You know what I mean? We're all doing it.

Okay. I was going to tell something funny, but that's fine. Okay. You know, somebody commented, I don't know if you included it, but somebody included, they go, I don't need to hear your dates at the beginning. Just get right into it. And I go, well, this is a big help to us. So we're going to keep doing it.

Also, there's nothing to get into. It's not like there's something. Well, this week there is, though. Oh, okay. Now, what I mean is we're not the evening news. It's not like we're waiting to talk about Iran. This week we are. This week we are.

I'm Tom Brokaw. You can see me this weekend. Rochester, New York at the comedy off the Carlson, and now the news. A few weeks ago, I announced that I was taking a special, and in less than 24 hours, Dusty has to come out and announce. He's putting out a book. Yep. And took all the steam away from my big announcement.

That's right. So. That's what he does. This week, this past week. It's available. You can get it online right now, Amazon.com. Just get into it. This past week, I.

this past Monday, I take my special, my half hour special. Boom. And Dusty couldn't wait 24 hours. He has to have a kid. Oh, that's true. I mean, everybody's like, oh, way to go, Dusty. You know what, though? By the time your special comes out, the book will already be announced,

and everything will be clear. The runway will be clear for you. There'll be nothing else for you to hijack his news. Now, I won't have any other announcements. I can only think of a couple of things I have coming up. Your career's over at that moment. I bet it won't be. coming in during those times. Okay. So you think your book will come out before my special does?

No, no, no. I think it's already announced is what I'm saying. Oh, I see. So now the runway is clear. Yeah. Okay. And really, when it comes out, that's, I mean, selling out the show, that was no problem for you. So now the big announcement is when it comes out. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's sold out fast. It's coming out. We've already, it's November 10th. Okay. No, I'm joking. That's what I'm talking. You had no idea, but I do. Brian, you know that big press store you're doing? You might if I'd hop in on that with you?

We'll just do a two-for, huh? Yeah, I mean, I will be at bookstores, and you're welcome to come. Just tag along? Yeah. If you want to help stack my books and stuff for me. You can sell your merch. Are you doing signings? Yeah, when I sign it, you can write some of your dates in there.

I'm going to come to the Books a Million in Maljuliat Providence, because I bet you're doing one. there. I don't know. That's a spotly ended one there. That's right. That's where a lot of... That's the one right by my house. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to come there. Well, if I go there, I'll have to bring my kids. So they should know that. You can't do something that close to home and not bring your kids. It's a rule. Yeah. I thought the farther away would be. Explain that to me. Well, it's just a car drive away. I can put them all in the car seats and come on down. They're far away. That's plane tickets I got to buy. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. I get it. I get it.

You know? I thought you meant far away versus like downtown Nashville. Oh, oh, no, no. I mean far, far away. Oh, okay. Yeah. Other side of the country. Yeah. Okay. Well, downtown Nashville, they'll have to come to. Okay.

Let's get back to me. Last Monday, take my half hour special. And I think it went well. It did go well. And it was very good. Thank you. Called Breaking Breakfast. I appreciate everything.

everyone who came to the show, and I appreciate you guys being on the show. Of course. I appreciate all these people. I got a lot of people to thank. Breakfast at Zanis. Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, it was a lot of fun.

You see many of these stick? So thank you for everyone who supported me in that. Thought that would go better, but... No, it was a great show. You really, I mean, you got one take and you nailed it. So, thank you. Yeah. Thank you.

It would have been a waste to have two, how good you did. Yeah. And I said, what about breakfast at Zanis? He said, I think I remember the sad. And as I recall. I think it went very well. I just want my special. How does that song go?

Breakfast to Tiffany's. That's what you're just seeing. Deep blue something. No, the song where I just want to, I want my beer. What is it? Baby back ribs. I just want to. What?

Watch my show. Laugh at my jokes. Drink my beer. Crying. Yeah. And not have to. I just want to beat my dog. That's my favorite.

I just want to beat my dog. That's my favorite. Cut my beard, drink my grass. So did you guys do anything this weekend? No, I was off. I had a doctor's appointment with the baby in Florida. I was down in Florida for a couple days. Not the fun part of Florida.

I was in landlocked Florida. No ocean. Just swampy pavements out in Gainesville. Oh, I like Gainesville. It's all right. Yeah. But when you say I went to Florida for a few days, it's not what people are picturing. Yeah.

They're picturing the beach. Sandy beaches. The beach. I was hopping around in a Drury Inn all weekend, you know. Drury. I like a Drury end, but it's, my opinion, the worst name, because it sounds dreary. I mean, it does sound. It sounds like sad hotel.

I've stayed at a few drurys, and I like them. Yeah, you ever stayed at the melancholy inn? That's what it sounds like. The dreary. I got there. We have some medicine that has to say refrigerated for the baby. So I get to the hotel. We get there late, take a late flight.

It's an hour and a half drive from Jacksonville to Gainesville. I get there, and the fridge is not working. So I go galley. So I got to see if they'll put the... this medicine like in their fridge back there or whatever right so i got downstairs and i was like can you i have some medicine that needs to be refrigerated can you put it back there and they go oh no oh no we can't handle medicine so i go all right boy i'll tell you boy i'll tell you and then i go well i don't know what you want to do here my fridge doesn't work so they're like all right we'll send a guy up to come

confirm that it doesn't he had to go put another refrigerator in it took like an hour and a half two hours. They couldn't just switch your rooms? You think, yeah, I mean, that maybe honestly would have been easier. The drury, they're already sad. In retrospect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I got a clean tune. We'd unpacked in there and everything. I mean, we've been there for a little bit. Yeah. But in retrospect, it would have been quicker to just move to another room. Or just take the fridge out of that room. Is that a mini-fridge? Just take the fridge. Oh, it's a full-on fridge. No, not a full fridge. It's not like a kitchenette. It's just one of those mini-fridges. Yeah.

But it was a whole thing, unplugging it, taking it out, going to get a cart, putting it on the cart, and then, you know, 30 minutes later comes back with another. I don't even think you need a cart with a mini fridge. Well, this guy, I think this guy did. Oh, okay. Yeah, this guy needed a little bit of help. Yeah. He needed something. But anyway.

Drury worker. Anyway, I'm back out of. I'm home all of April. I got a big, big weekend at Zanis coming up here in Nashville. If you're in the Nashville area, April 17th and 18th. I'm headlining the main room for my first full weekend there. I'm excited about that. And then things kick off again in May, Salt Lake City and D.C.

But anyway, what about you, Dusty? Anything happened over the weekend? Well, I had a baby. But I had the baby last week, you know, on Tuesday. And that's going great. Six days old. Six days old. And it's already been to Target.

But we. But we, yeah, no shows. You want to tell us anything about him? Was he named Sunny Ray, Sunny Ray Slay. Oh, really? Yeah. And... It's close to Sunny Gray.

Yeah. But I like it. Sunny Ray. I don't know who Sunny Gray is, but... Former Nate Lang guest. Oh, okay. Shouldn't have even mentioned it. Okay.

Because I like the name. Well, my wife's dad's name's Raymond, and he goes by Ray. So we named him Ray after that. And we just like the name Sunny. Yeah. And then I watched the movie after. After we had already decided, we were going to name him sunny. I watched the movie Electric Horseman with Robert Redford.

He was named Sunny in that movie. All right. But yeah, it was great. Sunny Slay. Sunny Slay. So we got Daisy, Sammy, and Sunny. I like that. We call him Sam, Sammy.

What did he weigh? He was small. He weighed 6.1. Okay. Yeah. But all our babies have been in the six-pound range. Yeah. Everybody's good.

Everybody's good, home. Yeah. We're having a good time. what does Daisy and Sam think of him? Well, they love him. They can't get enough of him. They like to kiss him and poke his head. They babysitting him yet?

Can you get out of the house? You and Anna? Well, yeah, I mean, I'm about ready for it. I think Daisy could do it. She'd be five in May. Yeah. She can hold down the fort. Yeah.

They're already helping themselves to things in the house. What's the earliest you got left alone at the house, do you think? I don't know. It's hard to say, but... Well, you're driving a car, too. Yeah. But I would say pretty young. I mean, my mom worked third.

shift and my sister, we lived in a trailer park and my sister lived next door to us in a trailer. So she's always close by. Close by somebody. Yeah. So what, like seven or eight maybe? I don't know. It's hard to say, but probably something like that. Yeah.

Pretty young. What about you, Ryan? I don't know. That might be too early. 19. That sounds abusive of my mom. Yeah. My sister is five years older than I am.

Okay. It's a built-in babysitter. was a built-in babysitter because, you know, yeah, I don't even know. I mean, talking about seven, she was 12. She was probably kind of watching, you know, so it's hard to say. Yeah, and back then there was no crime, really. And life was good. That was like the heyday of serial killers and cults and everything.

Yeah, but serial killers are different than just mass crime. Okay. Especially where I live. We grew up in the summer of love, son of Sam. was going through Levedden. No, I'm not that old. Are you middle child? Middle child? A third of four.

Yeah. Yeah. So one of the middle children, I guess. Yeah. This time of year always makes me rethink my wardrobe. I want to keep fewer things, but better ones. I need pieces that are well made and easy to wear all the time. That's why I'm now shopping with quints.

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Because I know you're a jeans guy. You've kind of come around a little bit. If the pants look right, Quince, Quince would, that would do it for you. Looks fancy. The price point is amazing with this type of quality women. I also got my daughter some clothes. They have children's clothes. I didn't. My wife picked them out a couple of dresses. children's dresses. It's, Quince has got it all. So refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com

slash Nate for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. It's now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash Nate. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Nate. All right.

Should we get into these comments? Let's do it. Who's reading them this week? I think that you are. Comments come from, you guys just take off this week. Well, you're leading it. I mean, last week when I was leading it, you made me prompt you guys. Let's regroup here.

What do you, I feel like you expect more out of us this week. I do. I expect more of you guys every week. Well, you should know by now, this is what you're getting. We were off. I mean, what do you want? Yeah. I got my laptop with me this week.

Well, that is a improvement. That'll help out a little bit. I got a new habit. This is an impacts hat. This is where my mom used to work when I was growing up. Is that a VHS manufacturer? Yeah. Speaking of third shift, this is where my mom was. Third shift at the Ampex factory. Did she lose her job when VHS just went away? Well, sort of. I mean, the factory eventually closed down.

They didn't transition to DVDs. They were like, let's double down on VHS. No, they just made the tape that goes inside of the VHS tapes. So, you know, their factory closed. And, you know, they all, you know, there's a big deal in Opelite. Yeah, and a lot of people worked there, and a lot of people expected to retire from there. Yeah. And then you guys and your selfish DVDs came in. Hey, listen, I'm a Blu-ray guy. Don't blame me, all right. Any other format than VHS ruined it.

Well, my uncle worked at an HD DVD factory. He went out of business. Yeah. Did you get free VHS tapes, like Blake ones? We did get some, yeah. Yeah. Oh, Blake wants to record them. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. I forgot you could do that. Yeah. I mean, we had a VCR and we were recording all kinds of stuff and then labeling them. Illegally, I might add. My mom used to had a copy machine. Yeah. I mean, it's illegal to do that, wasn't it?

To tape off TV? Yeah, I know everybody did it. We did too, but wasn't it technically illegal? I think you just can't be out selling them. Yeah. Oh, but for personal use. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. I don't think they'd put a record button on the VCR if it was illegal. Don't be running a black. market on selling the you know you got to sit there and cut off the commercials too did you do that you said oh we used to do that you sit and watch something and then when the commercial came on you would hit like pause on the recording and then wait yeah yeah i wasn't advanced yeah we got into it my mom you know if a tape of a tv of a dv a vhs broke yeah the tape broke she could she could patch it back together really yeah recording tv shows on vhs was ruled legal in the u.s following the

1984 Supreme Court Betamax case. This went all the way to the Supreme Court. While unauthorized copying of rented movies was illegal, recording broadcast television for personal use was deemed fair use. That makes sense. It's one of the rare times you go. I think they got it right on that because it kind of makes sense. You remember when there was a VHS Rewinder, a separate thing just for rewinding tapes? And it rerun it super quickly. Yeah. Yeah, we had one of those. Be kind. Be kind. We had one at the video store that worked out. Oh, yeah.

Because people weren't being kind. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. You remember when you found your dad's VHS tape in the VCR? Yeah. That was a fun story. Yeah.

That's for Nate Land after Dark. Not Nate Land, Public Figures After Dark, right? Yeah. All right. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast reviews, and mail at Natelandpodcast.com. First comment comes from Coleslaw. That's his real name?

There's no way. I bet his name's Cole. Yeah. What if his last name's Slaw, though? And he added in the Cole. My guess is it's the first. Could be Doug Slaw, though. Yeah, Douglas Slaw.

It's close to Sleigh. Yeah. Slaw Slai. Very close. Well, Cole says, I love what y'all are doing with the show. You three play off each other so well in any episode with Greg is an instant classic. Happy New Year, Dusty. Oh, yeah.

We just had Passover on Wednesday. Yeah, I wanted it. your baby to be a New Year's baby. Yeah, me too. New Year's Eve, right? Yeah. It would have been Passover? You know, I don't know. I mean, you know, biblically speaking, I think Passover is on the 14th day of the year. So,

you know, April 1st is, you know, it gets complicated because the calendars are all mixed up. It should be more an observation of the moon and stars instead of just a concrete calendar. But how cool was it? He was born on New Year's Eve, Paso Reeve, and Artemis II launch. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a big day in the sleigh house. Yeah, it's a big day. Yeah. I love that. I'm so excited about Artemis, too. Yeah. Oh, man. They're so far away.

They're saying far than anybody. They've been around Apollo 13. They got some pictures of the other side of the moon that people have never seen before. Yeah. It's pretty cool. It looks wild. Well, thank you, Kohl-Slaw. Remarkable human achievement.

Yeah. I haven't seen those pictures. Can you pull them up? Yeah. I'd love to see the dark side of the moon here, see what Pink Floyd was raving about. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, well, they restricted NASA.gov on the Zanis network. I guess they, somebody doesn't want us to get to the turn. Yeah, somebody's trying to get on Dusty's good side of here at Zanis. They go, let's restrict NASA.com. Yeah, I appreciate that. Well, they just probably have a blocker on, you know, trash. websites. Fake news? Yeah. Yeah, I'll find them on something. Look how epic they're trying to make these people. Look at them. Forging new frontiers. It's just a picture. I mean,

they're literally space explorers. Yeah, you got to think if you're the guy in the back, though, you're like, come on, guys. Come on. Lighten me up a bit, you know. I'm going to the moon, too, guys. Yeah, you can barely see him. Huh. Gina Kiso. Kiso. It's not the phrases themselves that dusty trademarks. It's the way he says them.

Well, that's true. For some things, the way you say, all right. All right. But we're having a good time. We're having a good time. It doesn't matter how it's said. It's you. Yeah.

That's your thing. I've taken it over. We're having a good time. You have. People, if they wave on stage and get caught, they say they were channeling the dusty. I've had to say it. Yeah.

Because guess what? I organically waved and commented that we were having a good time. You're not allowed to do that. I'm not allowed to. I've got to find another way to say it. I'm enjoying myself. That sounds weird. Yeah.

We're enjoying ourselves. We're all having a good evening. Yeah. You can't say good. No, you can't say good? No, I mean, I can't do any other words. You know, you can do whatever you're up. Can I use the we pronoun?

You're going to be accused of stuff. I think you can use we. This room is having a pleasant evening. Yeah. I can just say that occasionally. Yeah. And you do it with a thumbs up instead of a wave. Yeah.

This room's having a pleasant evening. That's, that sounds good. That's not bad. That might be good. Yeah. Get some merch made. I like that. Just me.

You think that's their name? Yeah. Aaron already has a catchphrase. This is Aaron, by the way. Just needs to incorporate that in his live act. Oh, yeah. You say Aaron Weber, though, right? This is Aaron Weber speaking.

Yeah, Aaron Weber, by the way. Yeah. You could do that. You know, if you did the, what they, what people call the GOD mic at a theater, you could, you could do that at the beginning and introduce the first comic. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That'd be fun. If I get to theaters and you can do that.

Yeah. Tough to do that at a comedy club. Hey, everybody, welcome to Chuck Lhutz. This is Aaron Weber, by the way. If you park in front of the subway, you will get towed. There's no subway now. What do they say? Duncan.

It's a Dunkin' Donuts over there now, yeah. Yeah. Dollar General's gone too. It's a guitar store over there. It is a guitar store. Neighborhood's really coming up. The 3G tower is still right there. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. You can feel it. It's probably what's blocking that website.

I think so. It's blocking NASA.gov. Is it 3G? It's probably 5G. Yeah, at least 5G. Unless it's old, maybe it's an old one. Is that the moon? This is the near, this is the side that we always see. This is just a good picture of it. Goodness. So we got a really good, really good high-quality photo of it.

Pretty cool. Look at that thing. You know, they say we'll be living on the moon someday. I hope so. Who says that? Everybody that's cool. Nobody you know. I bet.

I'm sorry, man. Some cool people. Where are we? Nobody you'd know. I just envision Nate doing like arenas on the moon and I'm over there performing on the dark side. Yeah. Do you think he'll be the first comedian to perform at the sphere? I don't think there's been a stand-up show in the sphere yet.

And I'm trying to think, I don't know if it would necessarily serve Nate's act in the way that it might, they're comedians, but I think he might be the first one to do it. In the round in the sphere? Yeah, he can't really do the round. And I don't know what kind of visual. Imagine Nate up there talking about ketchup and there's like a galaxy behind him. Or maybe it's just ketchup. It's just a lot of people pouring ketchup out of packets.

Open and struggling to open packets. Yeah. I don't know. Casey Carlson. Brian is like a comedy missionary, spreading laughter to unreached people groups. Well, thank you, Keith. That is true. That is true. And their last name's Carlson, and that's where you'll be this weekend, comedy at the Carlson. That's right. You're like a missionary. Eventually, you're going to go to a place that's not hospitable and they're going to kill you.

Some uncontacted city. Show up with the microphone. They just beat you to death. Hello, folks. Folks, folks. Lisa Eckstad. I enjoyed the meat episode today, and especially the part about all the chicken in Auburn slash Opelika. I was waiting for you to mention chicken salad chick, which was also started in Auburn. She started it as a catering business in her house, and now it's a very successful franchise. She and her husband also owned a fabulous restaurant, Opelika, called Botanic. Well, that's interesting. I did not know that.

I didn't either. A botanic I've been to before. Not the restaurant. I've been there to get coffee and walked around a little bit. Very nice spot. Used to be another restaurant there. And it used to be another restaurant. It sounds dirty just to say the name.

And so I'm not going to say it. But it's not dirty, but it sounds dirty. It's the name of a chicken and male chicken. And my dad. Roosters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

My dad said he called like the information, like back in the day to try to find the number for that place. And he asked for it and the lady said, you should be ashamed to yourself and hung up on him. You ever told that on stage? No. That's pretty good. Yeah.

But thank you. But I didn't know that about chicken salad chick. That's interesting. I love chicken salad chick. I had no idea started. Yeah. Well, look at that. It really is a good spot.

There's one, excuse me. There's one right next to the Star Dome. I usually eat them when I go to Star D'clock. And you would think, you know, a lady whose last name starts with egg would know a lot about chickens. Yeah. Oh, Egg's dad. I guess you're right. And a few people wrote in and said the Ruth Chris story is not accurate.

It's not getting hung up in the who, what, when, where, it was. But if it makes you feel any better, the story you based that off was because Dusty was talking about how some business started and they said that wasn't right either. What did I say? I can't remember now what it was. I don't, I've not said anything incorrect. Well, my mistake. Perish the thought, Brian. Is that the moon?

That's a picture of Earth taken from Artemis II. What's that behind Earth? What do you mean? Space. Given that light. I don't think that that's something behind. behind the earth. I think that's just the sunlight. See like the northern lights right there. What is that down there though? Southern lights. I don't know exactly, but there is a massive

sun out in the universe that's probably emitting a lot of light. Just underneath like that? Not just in the universe in our solar system. Yeah. Just underneath like that though. How's it, why do you think it's gathering like that? What do you mean gathering? Down at the bottom, making that kind of crescent. I don't think the light is gathering like it's a beanbag chair and it's all falling to the one side. Somebody's not good at Photoshop. Looks like to me, right? Well, I just don't know what that is, but it looks good.

I mean, it's a good picture or a painting or whatever. It's a photograph. Oh, hello. There are two auroras. Big Nate fans. Top right and bottom left. And zodiacal. Zodiacal light, let's look up what zodiacal light is.

Yeah. Zodiacal light is a faint, triangular white glow caused by sunlight scattering off interplanetary dust particles in the solar system. So it's kind of like a gathering. Yep. I guess so. Yeah, yeah, I guess so. I guess so. The way you said it confused me, but I guess you are right.

It is a gathering of light. Well, I think it's super cool, and I've been following it. And they come back, today's the furthest they're out, right? And then they start coming back around. Well, if we know, they have 40 minutes where we're not going to be in contact with them. On the other side of the moon? We don't know what happens. Is that true?

I have no idea. Is there a dark period? 40 minutes. For this one? Yeah. Wow, you follow it close. They're prepared for it. How are they prepared?

CB radio? They say they say, they say, The spaceship is programmed to do everything for them. Okay. But they're ready with manual controls if they have to. Oh. NASA is expecting a loose communication with the astronaut for about 40 minutes during a planned blackout period. The break will occur as the moon block signals between the spacecraft and the Earth.

So, yeah, while it's on the dark side of the moon. It's pretty wild. It's pretty cool. What do you think they're going to be doing over there? I mean, can you imagine they can say whatever they want. Yeah. They can say whatever they want. And then they find out.

It was a little black box in there, recorded this old time. Well, it probably is. You imagine me further out in space than anybody in human history, but you're still just trapped in there with three people you don't like. You're like, God, give me some space. Do you think that they're friends by this point? Do you think four days in space? No, I think they used to be friends. And now you think, yeah, they're not anymore?

No, I think they, when they know that they're so dependent on each other, I think they probably stay friends. Do you think they make it back? Yeah, I think they make it back. What do you think your first line is? You get to see the dark side of the minute. Because I think there's an opportunity for an iconic quote right here that's going to go down in history, right? But they're not the first people to see that. But they're the first in, what, 50 years?

Yeah. First of my lifetime to be out there. I turn a light on. That would be funny. That would be. Yeah. Boy. It's dark over here.

It's dark of it. somebody turned the lights off. Artismus 2. What are you saying? It's dark. It's very dark. Do you think it's dark to them or just that side of the moon is dark? And is that, you know? Yeah, I mean, they're in a shadow, but maybe they could see light all around them. Yeah. It might not necessarily be dark, depending on where the sun is.

But it's the dark side insofar as we can't see it. But if they're behind it, then the sun was coming all around it. Like a spotlight, like a dark spotlight. Oh, maybe. Maybe. It depends on when they get there. I think they crash into the moon when they're on that side. That'd be, I mean, an absolute worst case scenario at this point, right?

They crashed into the moon. They're not even prepared to land on it. Kind of shattered, kind of crack the moon a little bit. Then it started to, and then it started to kind of like pieces. Crack the moon? Yeah, they hit it pretty hard, and then pieces start to fall down on the earth. It's sucked into the gravitational pool. How big do you think the moon is and how big do you think Artemis too is?

It's hard to say. He's going to crack a piece off. There are craters like 600 miles wide. You don't know what the moon's made of. It could be glass, right? Yeah. It could be cheese. Who knows?

You don't know what it's made of. That's true. I don't know what it is. Moon rock. I think they're already around it though now. Did they already do the lap? And they're on their way back? I mean, I think they're lapping it now.

I think they're on the, you think they're going to crash. Time's different up there. You may be right, Dusty. You ever seen Intergalactic? Yeah. What is it? Is that the movie? Interstellar?

Interstellar. Great movie. Yeah. It's funny how I said, yeah, until you asked it for that. And I was like, yeah, maybe that's not it. Yeah, interstellar's great. Oh, that is. Pulled up a map that only confused me.

Let's just move on. They're doing like an eight, right? Like, yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Catherine Zekler. Back in the 90s, my husband waited tables and periodically a couple called ahead to order steaks. They requested the stakes be pulled from the fridge and brought to room temperature. When they arrived, they ate the stakes raw. No searing, no nothing, blood running. This wasn't a high-end steakhouse. The way staff referred to them as the vampire couple. That's fine. Why do you think you do that? If you're going to go through all that trouble, maybe just buy the stakes and eat them at home. Yeah, that's a good point. Maybe, because you just want to dine out and just like be around other people. Yeah. Get the full experience. Just, but to be so weird about it, though,

you want to be around other people, but be so weird. Yeah. Like, so weird that other people called them the vampire cover. Right. Right. And we're still talking about them. Yeah. And this was the nice. I wish we knew their names. Yeah. Eating raw steak is claimed by proponents to offer higher nutritional value, including increased bioavailability of B vitamins, iron, and beneficial enzymes destroyed by cooking. Would you eat steak sushi? I mean, I've had steak tartar. I don't know what that is.

Inside sushi? Like in a roll. Oh, maybe. I mean, yeah, if other people are doing it, I'll do it. I may try it too. Yeah, I would do it. I don't know what that is. You don't know what sushi is?

I don't know what steak sushi is. Well, I'm just saying to just be sushi. I really don't even know what sushi is. I'm going to say, I don't know what steak. But instead of fish, it would be pieces of raw steak. Well, yeah. Yeah. Oh, raw steak.

So I'm thinking about just pieces of steak. I'm like, yeah, I'll eat a piece of steak. Yeah, like tartars, I kind of like mashed up or whatever, right? This seems like something you would be on board with. No, I'm into it. I'm just saying, I don't know why you're putting the restaurant through that. Yeah, I agree. And why you also trust that?

I agree. If you're going to eat raw steak, I respect it, do it at home. Yeah. Do it at home and don't do it at the middle of a crowded restaurant. Like they said this wasn't a high-end steakhouse. We're talking Western sizzling here? I watched a guy accidentally dump a bucket of chicken on the floor and scoop it back into the thing and keep boiling it. Who was you? I watched a guy on security camera later. Raw steak sushi often called Wagu-Goo. or beef, you know, not saying that, features thinly sliced high-quality beef served over

vinegered sushi rice. Where's the word that you won't read? Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I get it. Sometimes served entirely raw. It's also commonly lightly seared. It's often paired with soy sauce, wasabi, sesame oil, or spicy mayo.

Got to be honest, sounds good. It does sound good. I think you actually get some later. You should get some. Yeah, let's do it. Lauren Grossman. Great name to follow up the vampire couple. Corrosman.

Gross, man. I was on my first date ever in high school in order to burger. When the waiter asked me how I wanted it cooked, I comfortably said, the stove is fine. Had no idea meat was cooked at different temperatures. Did not get asked on a second day? That's great. That's fine.

Oh, the stove is cool. Don't worry about it. That's hilarious. That would be endearing to me if somebody did that. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

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Other pest control companies charge hundreds of dollars. With Pesty, you can get started at just $35 per treatment. Pesty is kid and pet friendly. The pesticides they ship are fully registered and have been used in hospitals and schools all over the country. Plus, they offer 100% bug-free guarantee or your money back. If the bugs don't go away, you will get a full refund. Keep the bugs away with Pesty. Go to Pesty.com slash Nate for an extra 10% off your order. That's P-E-S-T-I-E dot com slash Nate for an extra 10% off. Jesse Nava, wish we had an airing cam that zooms in on his face whenever he's fighting against his intrusive thoughts. All right, well, let's talk about the Artemis 2. Zoom in. No,

let's not do that. Dusty, let's sing a duet. We've not sang in a while. I guess it needs to come up for a game. We sang a bunch last episode, didn't we? Yeah.

I don't know if you did, but I feel like we did. With Greg and meat? Oh, maybe not. No, Greg doesn't strike me as a singer. No, me either. Like,

not even like, I don't even picture Greg listening to music in the car. Yeah. I just, I just deal with trap. Come on, man. Oh, you're going to do that, man? He's trying to think about his jokes.

He's got that one joke about, all I want for Christmas is a fish sandwich. Yeah, yeah, that's a great joke. That's a great joke. And that was stuck in my head for weeks. Yeah. You hear that joke? No.

He's a homeless person on the subway. The homeless person just keeps going, all I want for Christmas is a fish sandwich. And he says it like 10 times, and it gets funnier every time. He's like, I know what I'm getting hurt for Christmas. It's just good stuff. Yeah.

You know, we're having a pleasant evening. Yeah. He had to be there. Jennifer Massert. Dusty was talking about Tom Hanks over playing the hero roles in films. Robin Williams was also like that. Most roles were him being an unconventional, rebellious sort of savior character, dead poet society, Awakenings, Good Morning Vietnam, Patch Adams, etc.

I agree, but unless I'm wrong about this, those were all fictional characters. No. Was Good Morning Vietnam based on a real guy? I don't know about that one, but Dead Poet Society is a role, right? Loosely based, actually based on a guy who went to NBA here in Nashville. Dead Poet Society. What I say. Puit.

Dead Poet. Awakening's is a true story, and Patch Adams is a true story, right? Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know that about Patchettos. They may be true stories, but they're not famous people. Okay. That's what I'm saying. Like, Tom Hanks is like, it's like...

You all about Captain Phillips before the movie? Yeah. I mean, I mean, I didn't know. all about him, but that was a very well-known story. And maybe these were well-known. I think it was fairly well-known. I mean, you knew Sully was. Sully, yeah, but I didn't know Captain Phillips. You knew Abraham Lincoln? You knew about him? Well, that movie hasn't come out yet. Well, it's coming out. You knew about Walt Disney?

You knew about Mr. Rogers? Mr. Rogers? I guess my argument would be, I agree with- You knew about Forrest Gump before that came out. I'm just saying, I don't even know. I mean, maybe these are, and maybe at the time, these were well-known stories. But I just feel like any time a famous thing happens. I think Robin Williams

or Tom makes me about it, they get cast in a role that they know they'd be good at. They don't write the movies and put themselves in it. Yeah. I feel like they're also both the nice guy personas.

That's true. But also, Robin Williams is dead, so let's not pile on his grave. I haven't said anything bad about it. I'm just kidding. He was a... Everybody chill out a little bit.

The guy's dead. He was a nice guy, Robin Williams. You know, at least to us. I've heard that. To us. I don't know. Maybe he wasn't, but you're looking at me.

I saw him here at Zanis. Did you? Yeah. 1973. No, not performing. He shot a movie in Nashville. He saw him audition for Mork. Sorry.

Sorry. Was that necessary? No, I'm sorry. Is this the story when he showed up at the bar? Were you at that show? Yeah. I was going to tell it. Sorry.

We're in the Stimpy here. Jeez. All right, Squidward. What do you got? I forgot who was... God. Was it a showcase or something? No, no, no.

I forgot who was headlining, but he just, he was shooting a movie in Nashville and he came afterwards to... Oh, it was Mike Brubiglia. Okay. Was headlining. That's cool. And he just came and... watch the show and set at the bar, Zanis.

I already came in Incognito. Just bought a ticket and just sat at the bar and... Yeah, but he wouldn't wear a fake mustache. I know, but he didn't come in and go, I'm Robin Ray. I'm Zunnerable. Like, he just kind of showed up. Yeah, and sit at the bar. And very quietly...

Yes. He didn't do a spot, did he? No. And somebody didn't... What? Was that a crazy question? Well, Incognito was a little bit of a stretch. Like, he had a wig.

and I think he had a full beard. He was dressed like Mrs. Doubtfire. He had the patch Adam nose on. And whoever was opening from Mike did not make it. And Bryce Damoth, do you guys remember Bryce? Yeah. He was just sitting in the audience watching the show and they pulled him out to open for Mike Biggley. So Robin Williams watched Bryce Damon.

do a set. Could have had Robin Williams go up. Did he know at the time that Robin Williams is out there? I don't know. I can't remember that. I don't know if I'd want to know that. But he said at the bar right where the light

kind of shines out. Sometimes it's like the only faces you can see is from the bar. Who do you think the craziest person is that saw your set? Tom Hanks. Oh, Tom Hanks. He's got to be up there. Gene Simmons saw me do a little bit of something.

Did he really? Yeah, he was hosted for Jeff Ross. Okay, he was here. Jims was here. Nate. No, go out. Other than, let me think. Some I set.

Well, I mean, I'm sure. That was at the show. Well, that Bridgestone show, I mean, who knows who all was that we did. There was a lot of, I hear, country stars. Yeah. It's like that may not make it in by the time I was on stage. But somebody that I know definitively is there. Well, who was yours?

I think Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban came to the show. I knew you had a good one. That's why you even asked the question. It's not. I don't know if it's. Guys, do you? I don't know. That's not like an unbelievable.

Nicole Kidman. I didn't think it was that. She said I was great. She didn't, actually. She wore a mask the whole time and just left immediately. Well, Nate, well, he'll tease me because, you know, I'll get excited when I see Belmont basketball coach Rick Bird in the audience or something like that. I have to think about it. Yeah, there are random people at Zaney sometimes.

Yeah, there was a... Trace Adkins. Trace Atkins? I did an urban show here one time. John Rich. And Martina McBride. How do you drink your coffee? Urban?

It's an old thing. Martina McBride and her husband were in the audience. Oh, yeah. At the Urban Show? Yeah. I met Martina McBride. She's free... The Keith Urban Show or the Black Show?

The Black Show. Okay. I forgot his name, but she's like a fan of his. and it was me in TC and... Oh yeah, who is it? It's... Is his name's Steve? No.

Harvey? Nah. Should even plant it at seed. D.L. Hugley. No, I forget, but I've heard that. That's their favorite comic, but I forget, I can't take of his name. Yeah.

Okay. You know, they say when you're, when, like, police, when they're asking somebody for details of a scene, don't ever plant seat, like what I just did, because that muddies the water of their memory. Interesting. You're supposed to just let them think it out. It's not Steve, though.

It's, yeah. Yeah, okay. But just you're not supposed to, like, start doing that. Just let them think it out. Just let them talk through it. Instead of trying to help them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Makes perfect sense.

I want to say his last name is Wilson, but. No. It's not that either. Okay. Okay, well, I was the one that was here, and I'm pretty sure it was Steve Wilson. Yeah, that's not that. Your memory's bad, Brian. But if I think of somebody better, I will let you know.

I bet you have. I bet you have. It's crazy. Yeah. Jared Sanders. I love Aaron. Save it for the topic comment. Every week it seems if you guys are waiting to have a big reveal on the chosen topic, while it's always posted in the title and not a secret.

Love it. Keep the laughs coming. We're having a good time. All right, Jared. He gets it. Well, I think you say that because... I don't think I was saying, don't spoil the topic. I was saying...

Let's don't get in a long discussion. Let's not get into meat until we get to the... the topic. So we get to the meat of the... So we get to the meat and potatoes. Yeah. Of the meat episode. Hannah Spinks. As someone who has seizures, I totally agree with Dusty about the medical emergencies

during the show. Just swoop me up and take me in the next room to help me. No need to bother anyone else in the room. Just get me out of there before it's a whole scene. Yeah. And Hannah, I'm sure that if you're having a seizure, you don't want the comic to go, let's get the house lights on over here. Where is this happening? Oh, there she is. What do you do for a living, boss? She's seizing out. Yeah, you want him to just get you out of there and deal with you.

I don't know why people. I think Vince was right. But if you're around seizures a lot, this all feels probably very routine to you, right? Most people, you see a guy seizing on the ground. You don't go, ah, just get him out of here. I know. He's fitting all addicts are everywhere. That's the only people I ever see having seizures.

Did I ever tell you about that show? I opened for Henry Cho at some show. I don't... Name drop. This guy's for him. Who you guys opened for? Steve Wilson. Henry Chope.

All right. I was on stage at sold-out theater. Henry... Anyway, I'm on stage and this guy just goes out, do you want a whopper? I was like, no, I'm good right now, man. I might take one just to like get a laugh. I might take one after, but I'm good.

I keep talking. He goes, you want a whopper? I go, do you have a whopper on you? He goes, yeah. He's sitting in the crowd and he's got a full Burger King bag. And he's just whoppers. And I go, I'm really good right now. I appreciate it.

You know, come see me after the show. Maybe we'll share a whopper together. He kept asking me if I wanted a whopper. I was like, what is happening right now? What is happening? So I get off stage. And then the guy running the show comes back. And he goes, hey, I saw you dealing with that.

my whopper guy, I go, yeah, what was that about? He goes, oh, I should have told you. Yeah, that guy, he's slow. And he comes to the shows and he asks people if they want whoppers. Wow. I go, why would you not tell me that ahead of time? Yeah. I just dealt with it the whole set.

This guy's asking me if I want burger. Did he yell at Harry? I feel like you just... No, I think he shut down. I think he respected the headliner enough not to do that. I feel like you just, in that, you just eventually go, yeah. Yeah, I do want it. I think maybe I did say, I don't remember, but it.

Bring it, throw it up here. It didn't go away. Say, throw it up here. And then you start eating it right there on the stage. That's what I'd think. Were people laughing? Kind of at first. And then after a while, it was like, that guy really wants to give him a wopper.

Yeah. I wish you would have lost it on him. Enough. That's just funny. I was just laughing it off. He goes, oh, yeah, that's the guy. That guy's slow. He comes to the show.

He's the whopper guy. He's the whopper guy. He should have told you. Where was this? Do you remember? Some North Carolina somewhere. Do you have a crown on? It might have been the king himself.

It might have been. This guy's like, if anybody was a whopper, I found him. Eric Jr. 89. I feel like this. podcast will end within a year. They're friends of Nate, and you can tell they wouldn't be friends if it wasn't for Nate. Nate was the glue.

Yeah. So, spot on. Nate really does bind the three of us together. Spot on. I never would have met you guys. I don't even know what to talk to you all about if they're not here, man. I never would have met you.

I'll address this because every week, somebody, every week someone says, oh, they're mad at each other. Aaron and Dusty, I consider two of my best friends. We text every day. I'm not saying it goes the other way. I'm just saying I consider you guys. We text every day. We're in a little group threads.

You guys both did. You stuck around all day last week to do my show. Dusty went home to his nine-month and pregnant wife and came back. You both on stage encouraged the audience how to behave. You told them to stop enough, right? Yeah, yeah. I had to shut them down a couple of times. And I saw you encourage the crowd on stage too.

And you went in the kitchen and told them to shut up. Yeah. Did you really? I did. Yeah. Oh, I love that. I didn't say shut up. But I did ask.

them to. You said hush it? What did? Well, I just, I could hear them. Yeah. And I just go, hey, guys, Brian's recording a thing. Yeah. Do you know how I did that to Andrew and Brian Dorf in one time? I told him shut up in the green room. Did I ever tell you that? No. It was like, I was so, I think I was there. You were in the room when this happened. There's a lot of comics, right? It was one of those nights that are very fun nights where it's like a great hang in the green room. There's a bunch of people. Everybody's laughing. But when you're on stage, especially in the main room there, hear the green room. Yes. Your whole set. Yes. And it's not like it's just when you're bombing. It's just if you want quiet like in middle of, you can just hear everybody laughing. So I,

I don't know. I got, I got back in there and I was just like, everybody needs to shut up back here. And it was the two owners of the club who were laughing the most. And I was like, sorry. Like, it's your club. Anyway, it ended up being a nice moment. But what I'm saying is I've had to be that guy. And you don't always get thanks that you. You deserve, but I appreciate it. It's hard for me to be an audience member because I'm on stage so much that when I'm in the audience, everything people do bothers me. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, in saying that about you guys being two of my best friends, I do have a bone with pick with you, Dusty. Okay. All right. I'm into this. Because you text us the night, hey, we're going to the hospital. Great. We had a baby. Great.

Then the next day, Aaron and I are texting, hey, how's it going? Everything okay? And you're ghostedness. and you might be like, oh, well, I'm a little busy guys, just had a baby, but you're texting with everybody else in America. You're texting with the dump dusty guy. You're making comments, you're posting. You're coming about the layout of our podcast in a separate thread.

And I mean, like, what is going on here? I found out the name of your son from Adrian. It might as well have been a bum on the street. I mean, I was a little hurt. I think very highly of Adrian, I guess. But that's the point. Well, I am sorry about that. I, you know, I get, you know, I get caught up in a, you know, a loop, an internet loop sometimes.

I don't even know where I'm communicating with people at. I went online to start criticizing Dusty just to get a response. I see, though. Sometimes I see comments, and I go to comment, and you've already commented on it. When I pull comments for the show, it's hard to find enough because Dusty, he's replied to most of them. You've already. You gotta just keep those.

Just don't let that bother you. Yeah. Well, the one I, we just read about the guy saying, Nate's the one that held us together. You'd come in and it replied to him. Would I say, you think?

You said, yeah, Nate's the one. Yeah. Some of these commenters, though, they're so, it's like, we've talked about it many times that we've known each other for a long time.

Yeah. I mean, we met at open mics organically, like normal people. Yeah. 10 plus years ago. Yeah, I met Brian at Keith Alberstadt show in 2013. Really?

Yeah. Here at Zanis? Yeah. How about that? Look at us now. Yeah. 100 yards away from where that happened. Chad Riding was on that show.

Yeah. Kelly, it was a long time ago. So that's who's the most famous person that's seen me, probably Chad Ritin? Maybe. No, I don't know. Think about it. What's your, I mean, Tom Hanks is hard to beat. Yeah, I mean, Gene Simmons is like a big one, too.

I mean, I know he's faded. it out now, but I mean, everybody knows Kiss. Performed for the governor once. The governor was at a fundraiser show. Okay. I don't remember which governor, but they said the governor was there. Well, I was with

Dusty when Christian Bell came up to him and said how big of his was. That's tough to be. And I was in the green room at Zanis when Dusty got a little starstruck the first time he saw a kid rock. Maybe that'll do it. Yeah, I mean... Yeah, I mean, you got to understand. I was in 10th grade one. Bah with Tobah came out.

My name is gosh. I'm not straight out of Compton. I'm straight out the trailer. Yeah. It's just like written for you the whole album. Gosh. That was a great album. Yeah, it was.

I don't like to say the name, but, uh, yeah, yeah. And you guys got a lot of words. You can't say this episode. Half the shows be redacted. Well, I've changed a lot of my ways since 10th grade. Well, I'm just lost on all of it. And that one was like down with the devil. It's called Devil Without a Cause.

Devil Without a Cause. Oh. Yeah. You don't like James Dean either, huh? No. Can I share some Nate Land News with you guys? Do you ever have a dirt devil vacuum? No.

Can I share some Nate Land News with you guys? Yes, please. While they're talking. Jody Carroll, did you guys see Jody Carroll? Yeah. Killed it. Killed it. Nate Land presents the showcase season four.

Very funny. Well, this Thursday at 7 p.m. Central, we've got Eelan Stribling. I hosted the show. That dude is very, very funny. funny, man. I'm excited to see how that set comes out because in the room, it was hot. Big fisherman, I'm told. It's a hot one, big fisherman. And comedian. Yeah. Well, it was double news. The first thing is eel. So yeah. Yeah. Deep Sea fishermen. Yeah. Eiland. That's on the Nateland YouTube, YouTube channel,

new comic every week. Nateland presents Graham Kay's Pete and me. That's a non-depressing look at family and autism. April is National Autism Acceptance Month, and it premieres Friday, April 17th. So Pete is Graham's brother, and it's like a one-man show, right? And it won all kinds of awards, I think, in New York, and I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to see it, too. I've seen Graham's stand-up comedy many times, and it's great, hilarious, but I haven't seen this. I haven't seen that either. I'm looking forward to see it.

What do you think about Pete and I versus Pete and me? would you do? I'm not saying it's wrong. I think Pete and me has a nice ring to me and Pete. Me and Pete. Yeah, that is too. But I think Pete, the emphasis is on Pete. If it's not too late, I would like to recommend some of these changes.

Let's just, let's rename the whole. Willie Nelson has a song called Me and Paul. Me and Paul. P-A-W? Like Dad? Or Paul. Paul. Like a guy's name, like Paul McCartney?

Yeah. Is it about Paul McCartney? I don't think so. Okay. You know, he doesn't say. It's just about a guy named Paul. Yeah. Me and Paul is the 32nd studio album by Willie Nelson.

The titular. Is that how you say that? Titular. I've never seen that in my life. Is it titular? That seems like a little word y'all going to skip. Titular. You got the little CH in there.

Oh, refers to Nelson's long-term drummer, Paul English. Yeah. So kind of close to Paul McClure. Cartney. I guess so. Because he's English. But look at that. Been to George on a Fastering with Billy Joe Shavers on the album. Yeah, it's a good one. Yeah. Paul English. Let's see what this guy was in. George on a Fastering, that's my intro song when I I know. I know. Really? Yeah, for years. At the opera and stuff too, right? At the opera, we do Workin' Man's Blues by Merle Haggard. It just, you know, that was just the first

one we picked. It's a good song, and I don't want to make the band learn a different song. What about Wildfire? I like Wildfire. That, But it's, you know, that was a different time. Wildflower by John Mayer featuring Frank Ocean? No, by Michael Martin Murphy. Yeah. Okay. MMM.

I think that's that. Steve Wilson. Okay. What do you come out to at the opera? I say, whatever you're feeling, dude, just hit me with it. I think they do. Golly, what's it called? It's like the most famous country song of all time.

Johnny Cash. Ring of fire. Ring of fire. There it is. I just blanked on. I'm familiar with the song. Yes. Dun da da da da da da da da da.

Hey everybody here. That's a lot. Nate Land produced Derek Stroop's Netflix special, nostalgic. It's out now. Netflix. Yep. And Dusty's book, we're having a good time is on pre-order.

grab a copy anywhere you buy your books. That looks like a good book. It's going to be so good. Is that going to be about the width of it or the length? I hope it's thinner than that. I want people to be able to get through it. You're trying to turn this into a brochure instead of a book. Yeah, you remember when Reno Collier was on and he had the blank pages?

He had it just book on one side of the page. Well, didn't they do that? Oh, I don't know. Wait, he only had to. He forgot him. His book, it was only up. Yeah, because he said he hates folding a book over. He just couldn't figure out to get the printer to print on both sides.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And speaking of Nate, his big, dumb eyes tour comes to Las Vegas this weekend. He's going to be at the sphere. No.

No, he's going to be at the win, April 8th through 12th. I'm calling it. When that residency at the win ends? Yeah. Does I say that right? The win ends. He'll be at the sphere. Winns.

At the winons. This week, seeing that I know nothing about Dusty's baby, the topic is babies. All right. Yeah. Yeah. So if we think. out a good name right now, would you consider changing? What's better than Sunny Ray Slime?

Nothing. I just hope he doesn't have a Lisp growing up. Why? Sunny Slay is a tough name to say with a Lisp. Oh. Will you use the Ray or it would just be sunny? I think he just sunny. You better fix that quick.

Yeah. Yeah. You start going by Ray at that point. Ray Slay. Ray Slay. Either, I mean, it's a win-win either way. Sunny Slay, Ray Slay. Yeah, you know, we wanted to all sound Southern, all sound a little westerny.

You know the most Southern name? My buddy in high school, his dad's name was Junior. Oh, yeah. Like, his actual name was J-U-N-I-O-R. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I had never seen that. Like, Junior Brown.

Yeah, that's wild. You know, Junior Brown? Yeah, I know of him. Because you wanted by the police and my wife thinks you're dead. There's a guy, there's a... You don't know that one? Randomly, there was a high school football player in the Cincinnati, Ohio area. years ago, heavily recruited at high school.

His name was Mr. Simpson. Wow. First name, Mr. Mr. Mr. Last name, Simpson. So if you wanted to call him Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. What was a guy here?

Oh, you know. Yeah, he played, I guess he played at Michigan. There was a guy here on the crew for the special who's name was St. Thomas. Like, that's his actual name? His name was Saint. Yeah. Middle name Thomas or last name Thomas? First name.

What's the middle name at that point? It's tough to have. a middle name if your name is St. Thomas. What about Jim Bob Cooter? What about him, right? You guys know Jim Bob Cooter? No, but Jim Bob Cooter. Wow. It's a football coach. Football coach. Football coach. Offensive coordinator, the Colts. Old Coach Cooter. Jim Bob Cooter. He's from Tennessee. How about that? Yeah. Of course he is. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And he, I think he played in Tennessee, right? And now he's been an NFL coach for years.

And they're talking about him getting a head coaching position. I would love if there was a head coach named Jim Bachoo. Me too. Me too. Yeah. Let's paint the scene here. Hunger strikes and you're exhausted. There's something healthy in the fridge that you should make, but you just don't have it in you.

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So you got a few months. See website for more details. Yeah. All right. So let's talk about some babies. Aaron, earlier, you called your daughter the baby, but technically no longer a baby. What is she now an infant? A toddler.

Toddler. But that feels weird, doesn't I go pick up the toddler? You could just say her name, but if I'm in mixed company and I don't know. I'll tell you what. The toddler sounds crazy. I tell you, what makes you realize that your kids have grown is when you bring home a baby. Like my son is three, almost three, and I just think of him like a little baby until I brought a baby. An actual baby baby.

And I'm like, well, you're a little kid. Yeah, you're enormous compared to this. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this said babies are technically just the first year. And toddlers are like one to three. Okay. And then they're just little girl, little boys.

So it's age-based. It's not like motor skills based at all? I don't know. I figure once you get, I think toddler, I think you're toddling around. So once you're toddling, then you're a toddler. That's what I thought. But usually about one, you're toddling, right? I guess typically, I don't know.

I was at Aaron's house and I had not seen Olive in a long time. And Olive was crawling on the floor. And Aaron goes, hey, buddy, said buddy to Olive. And so then I go. And later, there was a bunch of people there, bunch of kids I didn't know. Aaron's holding Olive and I go, who's this guy? And he goes, this is Olive. It's like my most embarrassing moment of my life.

You're like, oh, hey. I was like, you call her buddy. I call her buddy. And it just threw me off. I call her buddy. I call her buddy. Big girl would not have thrown me off. But buddy.

Hey, pal. I just thought the way you said buddy, I thought it was like one of your friends kids. That would be what I said to a random kid. Yeah, there's a bunch of kids. Running around. Or rub the top of her head. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes it's amazing.

Like, we don't, she gets misgendered all the time. Yeah. Because, you know, the hair is not long enough to really distinguish her. Yeah. And if we don't dress her in like some over-the-top girly outfit, people are like, your son or a boy. It's like that for both of my kids. Yeah.

Both of my, Daisy and Sam was like that. Daisy did not have hair much at all for a long time. We, this weekend, well, Illinois preschool was closed Friday for Good Friday. So we scheduled. Not so good for you guys. No, it was not. I call it bad Friday. I'm like another holiday for this guy.

Come on. We just did Christmas. He gets a whole weekend? Holiday for him, but you get the day off, huh? But anyway, we had her, she just turned four, four-year pediatric checkup. When she was three, her three-year-old checkup, we were, oh, we're going to go to the doctor. And she was, we, like, tricked her, and she was excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look in your ears, look at your mouth, whatever. But the night before we went on, like, we're going to the doctor. It's going to be so much fun. She said, I'm not going to eat shots, am I? And I'm like, ooh. That's the first time. She knows what's coming. And she's like, I don't want any shots.

And we're like, well, and we really didn't know if she would or not. But she got three. for stuff you've got to have before you can go to school. Right, right. And are they painful? I mean, she was in such a great mood until that happened. And then she just, it's just so hard to witness. I know.

And then today, she had a dentist appointment. And I don't know if you've taken your kid to a dentist yet. My family doesn't even know what that is. They do more than you would think for us. small child. What do they, what do they do? We've taken her twice, but it was just like, just looking at it. Yeah, they like put her, link the chair back and there's a dental hygienist and she like goes through her teeth and there, flosses and everything. No, she didn't floss. She didn't grind hard, but what was she doing in there? Just a checkout. I know. I mean,

if she wasn't flossing, what was she doing? You're like, she's digging around in there. Well, she's scraping on her teeth. She's got that little sharp tool and scraping on it. And then she put, She got the, like the, uh, another second you're doing a lighter. You got, you got the, you got the, you get smoking after. Do they do the? Yes. And then that.

The open clothes thing? Yeah. Really. Yeah, they even did that. For a four year old. They sprayed water in. They're like, yeah. I do love the dentist, but I used to go and get the, yeah, I used to go get the, when

I was a kid, I liked them just fine. And I used to get the fluoride that they had a mouth guard they used to do with the fluoride foam in there. And I always had so many cavities. So I'm like, I'm not buying it. Yeah. What are we doing? If I'm still getting the cavities, let's not be doing all that. Were you doing the work at home? Were you brushing your teeth every day using floss? Yeah, you know, my parents were into, you know, I don't, nobody's flossing. VHS tapes. Yeah, nobody's flossing out here. But, but, but we're brushing. I feel so good when I floss, but it's so tough to do it. I do the little, the little

picks are made easy. I got the little things, yeah. Yeah. A little pre-made things. Yeah. I'm pretty sure I got a cavity and a cracked tooth. But it's fine. Yeah, I had a root canal a couple years ago. It was the worst, dude.

It was the worst. I hate the dentist. I had a friend, you know, my dad was my high school principal. One of my best friends' dad was the dentist. He was a dentist. Yeah. Well, maybe for the town. For the team.

Team dentist. He was just, that we used to argue over who's, Who's parent was more disliked by kids? Because nobody wants to go to the principal's office or the dentist. I'm going to go with principal. Oh, yeah. Is the most disliked? I would think.

Okay. Depending on the age. But it was it K through 12? Just high school, 9 through 12. See, I would think that was the most dislike. Because when I was a younger... I could avoid the dentist. I mean, I could avoid the principal.

I couldn't avoid the dentist. Yeah, I guess. But when I was little, you kind of like... the principal. That seemed cool. The principal seemed cool. But I guess as you got... I don't know if I ever did. Maybe it's just a function of who you had. I think it's... The assistant principles are worse, maybe, than the principal.

Because the principal gets to kind of what do you call delegate? Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. I would have thought the opposite. He gets to play the nice guy six the assistants on you. Hmm. Could do that, yeah. Is that what he did? It's like the dentist gets the, the hygienist.

Yeah. It's the same thing, right? Yeah. Yeah, the dentist did almost nothing He just came in, looked at her mouth for two seconds. Looks good. You're good. Yeah. Yeah. And then they were showing a movie.

They put a, they have a TV on the ceiling. And showing a movie was a little bit too intense for what we show her. For saving Private Ryan, first 10 minutes. Well, I do love Tom Haines. I would not have a problem with that. The Beaches of Normandy. No, it was a, it was a kids movie. It was called Lucas.

Just a highlight real. Lucas. Yeah. But it was just a little bit more intense. with Corey Hame and Charlie Shane? I think it was called Lucas. It was a kids movie. A 1986 romantic coming of age story?

That's not it. I don't know what it was called. Lucas. Lucas. Was it Muccas or something? Lucas maybe 2024. Luca with no ass. Oh, Luca maybe.

Luca? Yeah, Lucas was an intense movie. Luca. Okay, this one. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, it looks pretty intense. Yeah, probably the beginning is...

Well, all these Disney movies at the beginning, the parents die. Yeah. And it's like, I don't like my kids watch it. Like, it's like, it's fun. But even like a dinosaur movie I tried to watch with my kids, it's like the parents die at the beginning. Yeah. We got to introduce it.

Yeah. Whatever. And then even finding Nemo, it's like the beginning of the movie, the parents and all their siblings die. Well, there's got to be adversity for the story. Yeah, but not for kids. I don't even know that you need a story. I think you do need it. I think that's what makes these movies great.

The writing is so good in these fix-ar movies. For adults, but it's like for kids, I just think you just have fish swimming around and Dory saying funny things. But these kids, their parents are going to die. You got to prep them for them. You know what I mean? You got to let them know. I didn't know Nemo's mom died until I was like 12 or 13. What does you think happen?

You never caught it? I mean, that can explain that. Oh, okay. That makes sense. That's good parenting. That explains a lot. That's good parenting. Yeah.

Show you the movie in a way. it doesn't make any sense. What happened? You gotta leave the plot it. It's better to not know what happened than to know that the mom dies. I mean, Bambi? Bambi is one. They used to say it was one of the scariest movies for kids.

Yeah, Dumbo. Yeah. You know what used to terrify me? There was a movie, a brave little toaster growing up. Used to petrify me as a child. What happens in that? It's all these appliances and there's like evil appliances and they're just evil. Was the microwave one of the evil ones?

Might have been, actually. Have you never seen The Brave Little Toaster? I don't think so. It's an 1887 film, so I guess it's kind of. I was in high school. That would have been my eight. I was five. Yeah, so this would have been perfect for you.

The toaster, yeah, the toaster was the main guy. Yeah. And then. Be weird if he wasn't, huh? There's like an electric blanket and a lamp and a vacuum. I love an electric blanket. Yeah, I mean, yeah, look, look how terrifying that is. kids.

It's crusty the clowns. Yeah. You ever watched like Looney Tunes with your kids? No, I haven't yet. It's full on violence. It is. You know what? When I was a kid, I used to hear people talk about Looney Tunes being violent, and I thought,

that's so ridiculous. And I bought a bunch of those DVDs, and I wanted to watch it with my kids, and I'm like, it is full on violence the whole time. Eleanor's trying to wipe me with a frying pad. Yeah. Yeah. Stars going around my head. It's crazy.

And then they're so insulting. and mean to each other. I'm like, I don't, we don't need this. Yeah, that's what podcasts are for. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Support for today's episode comes from Square. The system powering, like half the places I go. If you've ever tapped to pay and thought, whoa, that was fast. It was probably square. Whether you're selling lattes, cutting hair, detailing cars, or selling merch, Square helps you run your business without running yourself into the ground. We all use it to sale our merch after shows. That's how much we love it.

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All right. Can I share some baby facts with you guys? Yeah. I love it. Babies have super strength relative to their weight. Babies are stronger than an ox, particularly in their legs. Wow. For what? You know, they do say babies immediately have the strength to stand, but not the coordination. Why? And balance. For why?

Yeah, what do they use that leg strength for? Do you need it for the birth itself? Dead lifts. I don't know. There's pictures. My uncle. Feel free to speculate. My uncle was a chiropractor.

And he used to do this thing with kids. I have a picture with him where he's, I'm a little kid, maybe a year old or whatever. I don't know, probably not that old, very young. And he has me both my feet in his hands and I'm standing up long before I could stand. That's crazy. Babies have no kneecaps. I did know that. That's pretty wild. I think you learned that on this podcast. I think I did. Yeah. Then I saw it play out in real time. They're born without fully formed kneecaps, Patella. They have cartilage that hardens into bones between six months and three years. Wow. That's pretty wild. That is wild. That's why when my daughter gets to speak it down the floor with her,

play. I'm like, I got too much Patel in. The soft spot on the back of their head. Yeah, I was just about to ask about that. It allows the head to fit through the birth canal accommodate rapid brain growth. It was jarring for the soft spot on the head.

It's around for a while. I mean, it doesn't close up for a while, right? But I was like, man, I've Googled so many times, like, should this still be on this head? I have no idea. Yeah, because it feels. Imagine having a two-year-old son, poking the baby's face.

Babies start seeing color in stages, with limited color vision appearing around two weeks to three months, often starting with red, and then they can distinguish more colors by three to four months, and have almost an adult perception by five to six months.

So there's a stretch there where all they see is the color red? Initially, newborn seeing shades of black, white, and gray. and then they can make out some red. That's like, you know, those early children's books that you get where it's just like shapes and like patterns where it's black and white and red. That makes sense if that's all they can see. Mnight Chalablan movies too.

Like an Mnight Chavallon movie. Yeah. You ever hear that joke? What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper? Yeah. Or a zebra with a suntan? Yeah.

Yeah. Heard it. I've told it. Here tonight. Here, it's all my special coming out of it. It's probably the name of it. Babies have 30,000 taste butts, three times more than adults, covering their tongues, tonsils, and roof of the mouth. So they'd be good in wine connoisseurs.

Yeah. I wonder why that is. Probably because we burned all ours off with coffee and cigarettes. That'll do it. Yeah. That's what I did. That will do it. newborns typically double their weight by six months and triple it by their first birthday.

It's impressive. Yeah. Yeah. So one of my daughter's shots was for a Zimpic. I started early. If you start early, then it's just part of life, right? Infants can breathe and swallow simultaneously until about seven months of age. That's wild.

Did you know that? Yeah. So they could breathe. they cry continuously. Wow. All right? I don't know. I mean, that would be the one benefit of it.

Benefit, yeah, not to us. Right. Yeah. While babies cry, they do not produce tears until they're about three weeks to four months old when their tear ducts fully developed. That's right. When my baby cries, I go, show me the tears. Yeah, yeah. It's not real until I see the tears, buddy.

Hey, guy. Hey, guy. Hey, bud. See the tears, guy. We looked up popular baby name. I looked up for the 70s, 80s, and 90s boys. I think I sent you a link to each one. But the popular girl.

To my email address? Yes. Popular names now. Abigail looked up for our, for us. Right now, the most popular names. their girl names are... You're going up girl names first. 20-25.

Yeah. These are the top girl names. These are the top 1,058. We're going to go through all of them. Yep. Started with 1508. Start at 1,058. We'll work our way up.

Oh, I don't believe any of these. Wait, that's the fastest... That's fastest rising, not the popular way. But Renly, W-R-E-N-L-E-E, there's no way. Renly. Renly. Okay. Respect.

Where's the top list here? Top 1,000. Number one. Olivia. Olivia. I think there is a real comeback of the older names. But not too old. There's not a lot of Ediths and Myrtle names like that.

Gertrude. I've heard comics have jokes about that, but it's crazy how certain names have a connotation. Yeah. Like, you're Gertrude. think an ugly woman. Old. I don't know about ugly. Okay.

Myrtle. Same thing. Mertal, old, old woman. If you're a little... If you're a little... Mertrtle out there,

I apologize. Yeah, maybe a little portly. But you're probably old and ugly. Little... Yeah. Let's just be honest. I'm joking. I'm joking.

Gretchen? Gretchen? Yeah. You think that's old? I think it's an old name. Gretchen's been on the comeback a little bit. Has it really? I think so.

That's funny because I think of Gretchen's like... There's also a hot girl name. Is it really? Gretchen Wilson. Oh, Gretchen Wieners from being girls. I ain't no high class, bro. The top five most common baby girl names are Olivia, Emma, Amelia, Charlotte, and Mia.

How about that? How far is Daisy down? Amelia Bedelia coming in number three. It is ending in a us. When I was young, it was E. Girls name all in an E. Jenny, Cindy, Sally. Are those shorter names for a full name, though?

Stephanie. I don't think so. Okay. But like Jenny. What do you think Sally would be short for? Solacius. Something Latin. Salacious or something like that.

Salberg. We called her. We named her salacious, but we call her Sally for sure. Should we do the boy name? Yeah, honestly. What is Sally? Is traditionally a nickname for the name Sarah. Oh.

It originated in the English-speaking countries as a pet name for Sarah, substituting the R with an L. It's often used as a standalone given name today. Derived from the Hebrew name meaning princess. Oh, how about that? Salome or Salame. All right. I didn't think I'm, all right. Now we got boy names?

Yeah. Okay. There's no way this is right either. I have seen Mattel. I do think there's a comeback. The top five most popular boy names, Liam? With meanings. Most popular boy names are with meanings.

That's not the fullest. No, is that the actual? No, no, no. If I did that, then that's my mistake. I thought I saw one where it was the actual names. Okay, here we go. Well, it's basically the same list here. That's a little...

This is according to the Social Security Administration. Those popular names for baby boys in the U.S. Liam, Noah, Oliver, Theodore, and James. And then it goes to Henry, Mateo, Elijah, Lucas, and William. William's been a mainstay in the English language for centuries now. You've got to respect William. William's not going away. Henry's strong.

Henry's up there, too. Henry Hank, James, Jim, Deodor, Teddy. Whatever you got, Noah, Noah. You consider Noah, right? For your, for some. I'm sure we talked about it. Noah or Elijah? Noah, Elijah, those are, I like the names, but it's, you know, it's.

Abendigo. It's, I don't want to say too biblical, but it's like, that's immediately what you think of. Like Aaron's biblical, but you don't necessarily think of Aaron in the Bible when you hear it. James is my middle name too. That's also biblical. Brian James. There's a singer name Aaron James. Is it really?

I think so. All right. I feel like a real hack now. Two of the most common names, Oliver and Olivia. Our kid's name is Olive. It's like we tried to split the difference. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty hacky.

I'm pretty on a hack. We've all been saying it, though. I had a joke. Now, Olive is, yeah, I mean, that's different. It's different. It's a different word. My sister's name, it is a different, like, it's not going to be another olive.

probably in her class. Maybe. Maybe not. My sister's name is Sonia. And I think that's a good name because it's unusual enough. There's probably not another Sonia in the group, which sonia you're talking about. But it's not so unusual that you're like, how do you say it? Yeah, yeah.

But you wouldn't think people don't go, Sonia? Yeah, I guess that's true. I used to have a joke where I'm like, my parents show Sonia and I kind of explain why it's good. And then with me, they got tired. Like, what's the most popular name with the 19-7s? I mean, there's always so many Bryant's growing up. A-A or Y-A?

Y-A. S-O-N-Y-A? Yeah. Oh, okay. Sonia. Sonia. Sonia. So I guess you're right.

They messed up on her, too. Either way, you're not going to be that far away from it, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not going to be like Gertrude. It's son. I would say one out of ten times when someone spells my name, like an email or something, they spell it, B-R-A-I-N. Brain. Brain baits.

Yeah. Brain baits. Yeah. John Chris, I would say less than that. They spell his nests name. Christ, R-I-S-D. I think it used to be a real problem before he was more well-known.

You know, they'd think he made a typo. They go, you're some Christian comedian and you go by John Christ. Yeah. Yeah. You know. All right. Do we look at popular names when we were kids? Let's do it.

Popular names of the 1970s. The heyday. The heyday. Someone would say the peak. Yep. Of America. I would say that. Just watching a documentary about.

The Heaven's Gate cold. Yeah, I remember them. They had a real moment in the 70s. In the 70s? It started in the 70s. But the 90s was when the Hillbop comet? Yeah. The 97 is when they ended.

Yes. But they started in the 70s. Okay. They had a 20-year run. You remember them? Doe and tea. Heaven's Gate. These are the guys that drank a bunch of Kool-A.

And they drank track. They wore track suits and drank Kool-A. I remember it somewhat. There was a comet, Helbop comet, right? I haven't gotten that far in the documentary. I'm sorry, I don't want to write it for you.

But it's all about UFOs and space stuff. Yeah. Anyway. Right now you're just enjoying the cult. Now I'm just enjoying the camaraderie of these guys. Sounds fun. It's really real friendship. Yeah.

You wonder why they broke up. I like Kool-A. There's a part. There's a guy. It was a sociology student at the University of Montana. And he read about them in the paper. And he goes, I would love to just go undercover with this cult for a little bit.

So he called a friend who went to another college and goes, do you want to drive out to California and join this cult with me and go undercover? And his friend was like, yeah. And at the drop of a hat, he left where he was. And they embedded in this cult for months and months and months. And then went out and they wrote a paper about it. But do you have a friend like that who would drop their whole life to go join a cult with you? Yeah.

You do? Well, I got friends not. Probably not got much of a life going. Go back to Opelika. You'll pay for my bus ticket? I'll be out there tomorrow. But yeah, I mean, that's something. And that feels like the freedom of the 70s.

Just like. Amen, brother. When you're not just tied to your cell phone and to the internet and being tracked everywhere you go. Yeah. The 70s felt free. It did. I mean, I wasn't alive then, but it feels hindsight,

it seems like a free time. Yeah, you missed out. I know. Most common names of the 1970s. Michael, Christopher, Jason, David, James, John, Robert, Brian coming in at number eight. There are 32,000 baby boys born in the 70s named Brian. Where does BR Y in come in? Brian's got to be...

Just way down. That's interesting. I would have thought they were about... Brian's in at 46. So 71,000. Where's Dusty come in at? Let's look up 103. Dustin. Okay. Let's look up Dusty. That's your name. It is, but let's just say. Dusty did not make the top 200. All right. I love that. But we're not, we're not in your decade. Yes. Let's get the 80s. Mm-hmm. You got the 80s here. Baby names of the 1980s. Basically the same list here. Brian dropped down considerably to 16. I think they had one too many

Brian's and they go we got to mix it up a little bit here let's see if a dusty is on here nope Dustin goes up to a 44 gained in popularity 100,000 people named Dustin

from your decade yeah it's pretty wild what about Tristan let's see Tristan are you born the 80s 90 oh never mind

excuse me Tristan's not in the top 200 either wow look at the 90s here some would say the best time to be alive. I mean, I do think the 90s was a great decade, incredible, beginning of the downfall. In the 90s, Aaron was the 31st most popular boy name. That's pretty good.

That's right where you want to be. You don't want to be too common, but you don't want to be too rare. Michael and Christopher still in the top two. Michael, Christopher, Dominating. Mike and Chris, I think because they're so versatile, versatile. Yeah. Yeah. Mike. Mikey. You got it. I like how you made the word versatile pretty versatile. That's absolutely right. Christopher.

You can do Chris. Chrissy. You can do Tofer. Christ? You can go Christ. Yeah. You go Risto. Stop her.

Risto is what I'd want my nickname. They go, what's a Ristow? And I go, oh, it's short for Christopher. This is right out of the middle. Yeah, Ristow. Oh, Rist. All the top names can be, I mean, Matthew, you got Matt and Maddie, Joshua, Josh. All the guys are biblical names.

Oh, I guess so. Most of them. Okay. There's not a lot of, as many female biblical names. Ruth, your wife. Yep. Sarah. There's a few.

I'm not saying there's none. Mary. Yep. Mary's the partner. Hannah. Yep. Mm-hmm. But there's a lot of like Jezebel.

I mean, a lot of the women in the Bible. Bath Sheba. Yeah. How popular it was that? Let's look at Bathsheba here in the 90s. Oh, but it was big of the 90s. Nah, nothing. That's surprising.

Too bad. I'm going to name some animals and you tell me if you can... Sorry. You okay? Yeah, I'm all right. I feel perfectly fine. I mean, I didn't even notice it. I'll get, well.

I cough so much. I was like, yeah, it's just what you do. I'm going to name some animals, and you guys tell me what the baby is called. Okay. Okay. I like this. Well, these are all easy at the top. You know, cow.

Pappy, kitten. Cows a calf. All right, what's... Correct. Kid. All right, let me move down a little bit. Deer. Fawn.

Fawn. Goat. Kid. Hors? Na. A foal. Did you say nay? Fole.

A foul. A foul. Fole. Correct. Tomatoes a mottom. Kangaroo. Joey. Oh, Joey.

You're right. What did you say? What did you say? I said a kid. Give her a... A pig? A piglet. A rabbit.

I'm gun-shy now about it. I don't know. A rabbit is a bunny. Yeah. Oh. Bunny or kit. I never heard of kit. I thought a bunny was like a pony.

To, like a horse is to pony as rabbit as to bunny. But is a bunny just a baby rabbit? I guess. You learn something every day. It's getting harder now. Okay. Alligator. Alligator or crocodile.

I didn't think do alligators have age? Do they have age? I just think, I don't even think of, I don't know, do they like, do they have like communities? Not communities. Let's go. We have retirement communities. Alligator. I feel like we never have to worry about the age.

Let's just go gay. If you see an alligator here, it's not good, no matter how old they are. A hatchling. Hatchling. I think hatchling's fresh. Hatchelings like newborn. I'm talking about a three-year-old alligator. What do you call that?

Toddler. Look that up. Toddler. I'll do a couple more. a butterfly? Caterpillar. Yeah, I never knew that. You didn't know a caterpillar became a butterfly?

I did. I didn't know that was just the baby. I just thought that's just some life changes. I thought he just went to a midlife crisis and the change. I didn't know. You thought the caterpillar was like 40 when it became a... I didn't know it was just a baby. I thought he transitioned in adulthood.

You guys never read the very hungry caterpillar. I raised my daughter, but I didn't have an age. All right. Why do they want to call it the hungry, hungry caterpillar? The book is about seven days. Okay. Okay. Well, you're making some good points.

Is that how long it takes? I don't know, but I know in that book it was seven days. An eagle or an owl? A hawling. Chickling? An eaglet or an owl it? Let me do a couple more. or you guys over this?

You ever use those owlette? You know the owlette things that a lot of people use on their babies now? You know what I'm talking about? Maybe. They're called owlets. That names familiar. They're like the little sock

that you put on your newborn and there's a baby. Have you all seen that? You know what I'm talking about? It's a little sock that you put on your baby and then it gives you all like the data. It gives you, it's that little green sock. No, I'm not in it.

You put on. We just put a chip in her when She's born. It shows you like... It's like quicker. Her heart rate and then like her oxygen level and all that stuff. So we were thinking about this because, you know, our baby, our toddler was in the NICU for like a month. So we had never had her not hooked up to all this stuff.

So I was so scared about like not knowing at any second what her heart rate was and all that stuff. So I remember I told the doctor, I was like, we're thinking about getting one of these owlets. And she was like, don't. She goes, you don't need to, you don't need to know this every second. We had the same discussion. I remember this now, our pediatrician said, it'll just make you worry. Yeah. Apparently there's a thing newborns do where it's scared.

It's scared us so bad. We're like every now and then their heart rate will just kind of dip out of nowhere. And we just don't realize it because your baby, most babies aren't hooked up to these monitors 24-7, right? But every time that did that with ours, we were like, what is? is going on. Yeah, I feel like they have too much info now that we don't necessarily know what to do with yet. Like, we have more information than we know how to handle it. Obviously, a lot of it is very good. But I think like we have too much, like we can see too much, but we don't necessarily know what to do with that yet. Yeah. And there are probably some babies where you might need to know information like this, but like most don't.

And you're like, you don't need to sit there and stress out about, you know, her oxygen. levels at 98. It was at 99 a second, you know, all that kind of stuff. But anyway, that's the only time. I didn't know Owlet was an actual word. Well, you know what? I'm trying to think of this book. I have this children's book that I read, and it will go through that a lot of the animals. I remember seeing Owl and Owlet. And also my daughter likes PJ Mask and the girl in there is called Alet. You ever read The Wonky Donkey? Yeah. That's a hot book. It's pretty good. That cracks me up every time. You read the Wongy Donkey. not read the wonky donkey.

Give it a goog. What about the ox cart, man. You know what? I actually bought that one on your recommendation. And I like it. I don't know if my toddler's old enough for it yet, but I think she will be. I love that book. And it's a good story.

Yeah. It's a good story. What about the little blue truck? I have the little blue truck. That's a good one. Honk honk. Yeah. It's a little blue truck.

It's a good one. It makes me tear up a little. You should do book reviews on all this. I should. Yeah. Makes me tear up a little bit. Um, like the way you dissect country songs, you got to start dissecting these children. I have some children's books that came from a school that closed down where my stepmomies to work at.

And I read, and they're like books to help the kids learn to read. Oh. How did it close down? Was it forced to close down? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And so I got the books.

And I, I want to break those down. I think I brought, I brought something in here one time. And people really made fun of me in the comments about it. But it was that book about the. Oh, the music. That was funny. Yeah, that was fun. Eleanor asked me today in the car, there was bird poop on my windshield.

She said, why is bird poop white? And I had no idea. I still don't know. But I said, well, look at it. Because they keep eating glue. He's got to lie like that. You know, they say, like, birds only eat marshmallow. I have some mulberry trees that I'm growing, and they say that they get really big, have a lot of fruit.

And birds eat them. Birds love them. And when birds eat them, they have huge, like, purple poo. birds poop. Bird poop is white because it's not, I can't believe this is where we're coming to. Bird poop is white because it's not just feces, it's combination of, it's number one and number two together. Mm-hmm. Which I got to think is preferable.

I like how they put in parentheses. It would be nice. Two birds in one stone. You kind of do both when you go in? I mean, if you're doing one, you do the other. Yeah, but. I mean. But sometimes just one and not two.

If you're doing two, you're doing one. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. It's unavoid. Even if you don't want to. Yeah. But I like how they put uric acid in the, let you know what the urine is. Uh-huh.

Yeah, because birds convert their waste into uric acid, which is a thick white paste instead of, like, their urine's not liquid. Oh. So just tell her that. Tell her it's about uric acid. I will. I can't wait to get home. Go, that's not, that's pee and poop. Her mind's going to be blown.

A couple more, um, fish. Mm-hmm. What's a baby fish? Eggs. Oh. After they're born. A school. No.

Minnow. A pupil. Pupil. Minow? A fry. No. Fish fry. Wow.

That's disgusting. I mean, these are from Abby. Yeah. So who knows. She fishes a lot. That's true. Baby fish are commonly called fry. After hatching, they are initially known as larvae,

specifically sack fry while absorbing their yolk sack. This is grosser than I thought it would be. Lots of sack talk. So there's a real, most of my life, I feel like I've heard about when I was a kid, overpopulation is the world's in trouble. Overpopulation, there's not enough food. It's a huge problem.

There's not enough resources. And then just like that, I'm hearing not enough babies being born. That's a rig problem. Fertility rate is down in every continent on the planet. Really? They call it the rate of... Replacement rate, which is 2.1. Yeah, yeah.

Why is it 2.1? Because if you and another person, that's two people. Yeah. So to replace yourself, it would be more than... You have three kids. On average, more than two. Wait, wait. I guess I don't understand why the number two.

wouldn't replace myself. I'll be honest. I started answering it very confidently, and I don't even know what I'm talking about. I think they're just saying you want to have slightly more. That's why it's not three, two point one. You want to have slightly more. You want to have slightly more. You wouldn't be building, not just breaking even. Yeah. And I don't. Whoa. Interesting. I never believed in overpopulation. The replacement rate is 2.1 children per woman because it ensures a population exactly replaces itself, accounting for the reality that about 105 boys are born for every 100 girls. and that not all children survived a reproductive age. So they've accounted for those two things, and they end at 2.1. So there are more boys being born than girls? 105 to 100.

I always thought there were slightly more girls being born. I always felt that way, too. Why didn't feel that way when I was trying to have a girlfriend? Like, you have like, we all number them 20 to 1. We have like China who also had the one child policy for a long time. Yes, I was getting there. Okay. China had the one child problem. Obviously, we were headed there.

China had the one-child policy for a long time. Okay. And that resulted in a lot of girls, like, they say, because they did, you know, they wanted a boy. So when they would have a girl, they would, you know, not have it anymore. Since the end of its one-child policy in 2016, China's government has been looking for ways to incentivize parenthood. Earlier this year, it announced a national plan that includes direct subsidies of about $500, per child each year until age three. And local governments and state media have also subsidized or promoted having children.

Everybody's trying to reverse it now. 500 bucks a year? That's not a lot. Yeah. No, that doesn't feel like enough, man. Until three. Yeah, 500 bucks a month, maybe. Yeah.

But 500 bucks a year. Yeah. Well, free diapers or something. Yeah. Newmonds go through diapers like. They tear through them, huh? Yeah. It's crazy.

The, uh, in 1963, it was 5.3 births per woman. That was the average. International average? Is that the U.S.? There's no way that was the U.S. I would think the U.S. and the 60s? I think the average American family had over five kids?

I think so. I don't think so, man. I'm thinking between two and three. I don't know if that's U.S. or world. I'm going to say that's worldwide. Now it's around, yeah, it's worldwide, because now it's around 2.2. No, it's a pretty big drop, huh?

Yeah. Pretty big drop. Well, it's hard. I mean, it's like, there's a lot that goes into having kids. I mean, it's not just, you know. That's why people say they're not having kids. They can't afford it. It's very expensive.

And, yeah. But explain to me this. It's poorer people and poorer countries that have more kids. Yeah, it's uneducated. Go to college. You're not going to have as many kids. Trailer parks are doing their part. They're trying to give it a flow down.

The first IVF baby was born in 1978. Wow, that long ago. Yeah. I don't know why I thought that was a 21st century thing since the 70s, huh? Mm-hmm. Wow. The oldest frozen embryo baby was born last year. 31 years frozen.

So they were born. in 2025, but conceived in 1994. How about that? That's pretty wild. It's hard to even think about. 94. Yeah. Where did I?

How old do you say the baby is? Well, Eleanor was frozen for three years, so I, but I'd just say. So she's seven? Yeah. I can not find it. I had the largest baby ever born, which I thought was pretty fun. How big were you guys when you were born? Do you know?

I was seven pounds something. I was average in my whole life. Eight or nine pounds. I was eight pounds, 12 ounces. Wow. Yeah. Big baby. Big healthy boy right there.

Yeah. All right, I found it. Corny and Guinness World Records, the heaviest baby ever born was a 22-pound. Get out of it. Boy, nickname Babe. Born to the Bates family. They named it that for a pig. The tallest couple ever.

Oh, babe bait. Tallest couple ever had the biggest baby. Wow. Wow. 22, now, 28 inches. But they were both like 8 feet tall. Oh, yeah. I'm going to tell you, this is not a picture of the newborn, babe.

That's also one of the least flattering pictures of a woman I've ever seen. That's Gertrude, huh? That's your opinion. That is. That is tough, man. I think she's... But the pictures just take so long. You can't even go.

Can we take another? I took two hours to develop that. Yeah, she got that face after pushing out a 22-pound baby. Look, I'm not saying she's not a trooper. I'm saying it's a brutal picture, if that's her. I don't think that's him, though. Oh, if this is true, I feel bad we even brought it up. But, yeah, I don't think that's the picture of him.

But look up that couple. Okay. They were also the tallest couple in history. They were both almost eight feet tall. That's insane. That's how they met. Tall convention? The circus.

Or maybe they were just at a busy place and they could only see each other. Yeah, maybe so. Martin Van Bates, born in 1837, he died in 1919. This could be some of your long-loss relatives. On their Facebook page. Are you? Yeah. the giants,

Bates giants of Kentucky or something? This could be your long-lost family here. Do you just read something? No, it's just funny what you just said. Fought in the Confederate Army. Yeah, we did. I mean, sorry. Imagine.

Imagine being a Union soldier and some eight-foot. Goliath. And his wife's tolerant he is. He was imprisoned at Camp Chase in Ohio during the Civil War and he escaped. Who arrested him? I don't know, too.

That's like the photo of that shot right there. It's like when the Florida player got in the game. Did you see that? Yeah, seven foot nine player. And the guy's just looking up at it. Oh, yeah, yeah, I saw that. And he's like six foot eight. I don't know if you, they did meet at a circus, by the way.

I don't know if you meant that. I did not meet that. Yeah. So after the war, he was a school teacher. And then the circus came into town. And Anna Hining Swan visited. She was seven foot 11. They got to know each other and they got married.

It was a highly publicized wedding. I'm sure everybody was very nice about it. And they had that, ooh. I think who was in that wedding party, the world's fattest man and bearded lady. Two guys on the motorcycle. Well, back then, the 1800, the world's fattest man was like 310. Yeah, just the guy you see at Walmart.

It's tough. And don't even think about it. Yeah. That's wild, man. I hope this guy, you feel for people like this because life could not have been easy. No. You know? I don't know.

I mean, if you're just tall like that, who was that guy, Robert Waldlow? Yes. If you're just tall and you have like other physical problems, it's probably not easy. Yeah. But if you're like tall and you're able to fight in a war, like, I mean, it's got to be pretty awesome, I would think. But seven foot. It's a seven foot 11. woman. Probably not easy for her. Yeah. Probably not easy for her. Yeah. It's got to be tough, man. Yeah, it's

going to be tough. And, you know, not to make fun of her, but, you know, as you said, not the world's most attractive woman. So she's in then she found love. The height highlights it. Yeah. You know, you're like, I'm not making fun of her. No, I know you're not. I know you're not. How old is she when she got married? She was, uh, 1872 she had her first kid so like yeah 26 26 or something was almost 50 um do you guys know the most popular youtube video of all time Charlie bit my finger that's probably one of them. Gangam style was one of them style was one was number one for a while baby by Justin Bieber you're on the right track um

baby shark did do do do do do do do to do, baby shark do, do, do, do, do, I love that.

And that leads into Dusty Slay's top five country songs about babies. All right. Number one, mama don't let

your babies grow up to be cowboys. Well, I didn't prepare one. I didn't know that that. Baby Shark almost twice as many views as the next

highest viewed video. That's wild. 16.7 billion views. Despacito, that huge song from a few years ago, 8.9, billion.

Where's my stand-up video? I think, let's look. Well, you're on, you're on Netflix. Well, I have a, you know, I have a special on YouTube, too, if people don't know about it. And there's another version of Baby Shark that's at 23. Yeah, I mean, there's so many versions of Baby Shark. Wow.

I didn't realize until I looked that up. Baby Shark is not a new song. The video obviously is, but the song had been around for a while. Like, how long's a while? You can grow up with it. No, but. late 20th century has said. Okay.

So it's not true. Did you have, do you have a baby monitor when you were a baby? I lived in a trailer. We were right next to each other. Okay. Now, when I was a baby,

I lived in my dad's house. I doubt we had a monitor. We're pretty close. I think we might have had, you know, an audio one. Obviously, the video ones now that,

like, I have. We didn't have baby monitors when I was a, baby. My cousin, younger cousin, yeah, they had an audio and I thought, this is the craziest thing ever. You can hear them in the other room. Yeah, it's wild. And now, I mean, we have motion to take it. I know it's late in the podcast, but I got to go to the bathroom. Yeah, that's all right. Well, I was about to wrap it up. I should just wrap it up. I'll hope you make it back in time to plug your dates. Let's go through quick.

All right. This weekend, I am in Rochester, New York, comedy at the Carlson. Have you ever had the, you ever been to Rochester? I have been in Rochester. You ever had the garbage pan? I have had a garbage plate. You got to go get it? Garbage plate. Excuse me. Garbage plate.

It's very good. Okay. Don't let the name for you. Don't let the way it looks for you. Okay. Just enjoy it. It's a good thing. All right.

What you got coming up? Oh, wait, whoa. I got more dates. Yeah. Plug them all. May 2nd. I am in Calhoun, Georgia at the gym theater. Calhoun is north of Atlanta, a little bit kind of in between Chattanooga and Atlanta.

So if you're in the northern Georgia area, come see me there and I got some dates in Denver and Greeley, Colorado and two nights in Caspar, Wyoming later in May. Beautiful. I don't know if I have any fans in Wyoming, but we're about to find out. It's a great time of year to be out there. It's going to be beautiful. May, are you kidding me?

Yes. I'm excited about that. What you got? I have a bunch of dates coming up. This is Aaron Wherever speaking, by the way. April. I'm home all of April, but that doesn't mean I can't do shows at my local. club here in town in the very building that we're recording this podcast.

Then Zanis Comedy Club, April 17th and 18th as part of the Nashville Comedy Festival. Aaron Weber, I will be headlining the big room over here. April 17th and 18th. There's two shows coming out and see me. And then May things pick up a bit. I'm going to be in Salt Lake City at Wise Guys. I'm going to be in Washington, D.C. I'm going to be in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Then a bunch of shows coming up. I'm actually announcing a bunch of dates. they'll be out by the time this comes out. So come see me. It's going to be a fun year. All right. That is our show. So thanks everyone.

All right. I'm back. Oh, I didn't know you're back. You're sweating a bit. Yeah, felt good though. My tour is the, I've released new dates, the second half of the neighborhood guy tour. And what happened? I was just about to release a bunch of new dates.

And you come up, I'm releasing new dates, bigger shows. I just had to move. club weekend because they got they called and they go hey dusty's going to be at the theater that same night i'm like dang it so i'm in phoenix but you got a lot going on but listen i doubt my next upcoming dates i'll be at zanis uh on april 14 april uh 14th 14th and then uh i'll be in dallas may first houston may second uh so those are the upcoming dates some of these though on this that you got pulled up some of those are getting moved we're doing some shifting around okay but um May 4th? Is that happening?

May 4th is happening, but that's sold out. Okay. Not even worth your time. Well, I'll be at the Trubidor in West Hollywood, California. But it is sold out, though. But it's going to be a great show. But yeah, did New Neighborhood Guy dates out now on my Instagram at Dusty Slee or Facebook. My Facebook is on fire.

It's really growing. Okay. And I'm very excited about it. But yeah, check that out. Slade.com. Nashville Comedy Festival starts next week. Yeah, it does. And yeah, I got a, yeah, it's very, very fun.

You got some fun guests coming up here on the podcast. Yes, we do. Stick around, huh? It's going to be a good time. Yeah, as long as it lasts, you know what I mean? Because we're just, you know, we're just... We need Nate to pop in every now and then just to keep us glued together. Because, you know, Eric Jr. 89.

It's going to end after a year because they're friends of Nate. I like Big Eric. His son. Yeah. Not a fan. I think Nate would probably say, nah, they're friends of each other. And I just...

They work for me. Yeah. All right, that is it. Thank you very much, everyone, for listening to the Public Figures podcast, a podcast worth three public figures, talk about fun stuff, and have a good time every week.

See you next week. Okay. This message is brought to by the Capital One Venture X card. Venture X offers the premium benefits you expect, like a $300 annual Capital One travel credit for less than you expect. Elevate your earn with unlimited double miles on every purchase, bringing you one step closer to your next dream destination. Plus, enjoy access to over 1,000 airport lounges worldwide. The Capital One Venture X card. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. Lounge access is subject to change. See Capital One.com for details.