The Nateland Podcast - #108 Animal Attacks

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

Hey Bear! On this week's episode, Nate shares a story about finally meeting his idol Jerry Seinfeld, Dusty meets a woman who choked out a bobcat, and the guys again debate whether a person could win a fight with a bear.      Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]   Helix - HelixSleep.com/Nate Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at HelixSleep.com/NATE. That’s up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows at HelixSleep.com/NATE.   Vuori - VuoriClothing.com/Nate Vuori is an investment in your happiness.  For our listeners they are offering 20% off your first purchase.  Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at VUORICLOTHING.COM/NATE that’s VUORICLOTHING.COM/NATE  Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns.  Go to VUORICLOTHING.COM/NATE and discover the versatility of Vuori Clothing.   Athletic Greens - AthleticGreens.com/Nate   Right now, it is time to reclaim your health and help your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition!  It is just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That is it! No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health.  To make it easy, Athletic Greens Is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.  All you have to do is visit ATHLETIC GREENS dot com slash NATE. Again, that is ATHLETIC GREENS dot com slash NATE to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance!   UpStart - Upstart.com/Nate   Don’t wait and check your rate today at UPSTART.com/NATE. That’s UPSTART.com/NATE to check your rate today. Don’t forget to use our URL to let them know we sent you!  1Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income, and certain other information provided in your loan application.  Go to UPSTART.com/NATE.   Babbel - Babbel.com/Nate Right now, save up to 60% off your subscription when you go to BABBEL dot com slash NATE.  That’s BABBEL dot com slash NATE for up to 60% off your subscription. Babbel—Language for life.

hello folks welcome to the nateland podcast let's go folks welcome everybody uh thanks for coming to this podcast what is it it's just a funny way to say it thanks for showing up hey thanks for being here it's crazy that you guys are here

I think it every time yeah we're glad you're here we pre-recorded this one I like to let people know that I know I love it how we always change clothes

and then we immediately just tell people yeah we did this one right after the last one I do like but they but they don't hear that it's so like when you look at it i think it's it doesn't look right it's the same well there is a special white hat episode yeah it is a white episode wow there's a slight chance that something so crazy happens between that it would have been silly for us not to talk about yeah so i feel like it is good to say yeah we pre-recorded this yeah aaron's foot got cut off because of gal like how do they

not i just don't understand how they i mean they call them gal they it's a whole thing it's a running theme i don't know why it's worth mentioning yeah dusty's in prison for you know the conspiracy stuff he's got no fake moon shirt on i mean i don't know how they it was all over the news how did they not bring it up i mean uh yeah so well here we are this is but this is live at this moment so uh start off with you guys comments uh paul d i think hey bear should be the response to hello folks i like that yeah that's fun you know the last podcast i started with hey bear yeah i love a nice hey bear yeah a lady that gave me candy wrote a note and it said hey bear yeah to me i like hey bear yeah yeah could be good is hello folks. I mean, like, yeah, it's like hay bear.

So, you know, because I do hello, folks, and I do let's go, folks, when we start the podcast. Yeah, maybe let's go bears. Yeah. That sounds like Jay Cutler. Hay bear. Yeah. Hay bear just got to pop in whenever. Yeah.

Hay bear feels like it's one that it pops in. We were doing it on the trip, and they're very funny to pop in hay bear. Yeah. They're just throwing in a nice hay bear out of nowhere. Yeah. You know, and if you're hiking and you do a hay bear, and someone gives you a hello, folks, back, then you know what's happening. That's, yeah.

You know what's going on. Yeah. Hello, folks. Yeah. Hay bear. Hey, that is a pretty, even let's go for like it is funny someone goes hello folks hey bear and then see yeah yeah because then people will be very confused yeah on that that could be it could it y'all can you know i like it i like the you know i like the

list i like people you know i'll talk to harper and. We were talking about hello folks and let's go folks. And I was like, what are you? And she said she thinks she's more let's go folks. But I like that there is a hello folks and let's go. It is like I met someone in Paso. And there were fewer hello folks and ones like I'm a let's go. And it is like you kind of get who the person is. Yeah.

And I do like that. But I do like hay bear. Hay bear. All right. Throw it in. Mix it in. We're mixing in. Kelly Haynes Dolan.

Hello, folks. I'm watching the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship in Lake Tahoe and wondering where's Nate. If Larry the Cable Guy is out there playing, it's about time for Nate to show them what's what. Yeah, I've never talked to anybody out there in that thing. I think it's hard to get on those. I mean, people get on them.

And you're playing a tournament on TV. It's your dream. Did you see any of it? I saw some highlights. I forgot his real name. Carlton from Fresh Prince won the closest to the pin contest. And he said this was his 14th year playing in this tournament. Yeah.

Alfonso. Alfonso Rivera. Yeah. Rivera. Rivera. Rivera. Yeah. So, yeah.

These people, they're not giving these spots spots up you don't go do it and then right they go all right i'm good right especially you know i mean i love the carlton character yeah but you don't see him in a ton of things so it's like he's like now i'm gonna keep doing this well but he and he's the one that you he actually puts on a show out there you always see highlight to him he's always doing like his – so like I understand him. He's kind of made his worth out there in the fact that like there's reasons. Obviously, you got like Patrick Mahomes or Steph Curry. You got people that are super famous.

And then you got like that Wagner guy, and he's – was like a soap guy, I think. But he's like a ridiculous golfer. And so it's like a – it's a mix of how's larry the cable guy at golf i've golfed with him he played great today i think he's just 79 today i played with him oh wow so pretty good but he but he it can he's not a bad golfer he was putting lights out what's a great golf score like an have no idea. 72 is even par. Very hard to do to shoot an even par round. Okay. For a regular person, I mean, 79 is crazy.

Like to be in the 70s and 80s. Breaking 100 is usually the- It's a big milestone to break 100. If you can play with someone and they can break 100, I think that's usually like- By break 100, you mean below 100? Yeah. Okay. with someone and they can break a hundred i think that's usually like by break a hundred you mean below a hundred yeah okay and then so if they so if someone is like i can break a hundred you're

like all right it's you know that they play okay and like it's not gonna be a bad day versus if someone can't break a hundred it's like it's probably gonna be a pretty long day yeah when i took lessons that was just my goal to get to where I could break 100. What would you say the worst game you've ever had was? The golf game? Yeah. I mean, you know, I've shot, like, yeah, well above 100. Yeah, you just stopped getting scores. Yeah, you're just picking the ball up.

That's where I'm at. You're just moving on. Oh, okay. Yeah, a lot of that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I don't know anything about golf.

Really? When you say he shot a 79, I'm like. Yeah. Hey, can you turn the air down a little bit? Yeah. All right. Leave that in. Well, Jason Wirth.

Jason Wirth played in it, and every time I see him putt, I thought it was dusty because he's got the long hair, and he was wearing a hat kind of like what you wear, and I thought, I think that's Dusty out there. Yeah, that's a cousin of mine. I have a Dude Perfect hat on. I went and saw Dude Perfect. Not him, but we took Harper and her friend to see Dude Perfect.

Very fun. Yeah. What do they do in the show? They do a lot of, I mean, they have like this thing they do, like, you know, it's like they all five compete. And then it's like you have one winner. And so they do, there's like five events, I guess. And so then whoever gets knocked out, like one person gets knocked out.

And then at the end of it, you have a winner. Oh, that's cool. So they have that, and the mix of that is like showing, they show some clips, they do some like funny interview things, there's some characters that they do that people like, and they do some of those. But it was very entertaining, a lot of kids there, a lot of like very. Crowd participation and stuff too.

Yeah, yeah, they brought kids. Yeah, it's super fun. I mean, a lot of cheering, a lot of, like, you know, you're saying you want to win. It was very fun to go, you know, with Harper and her friend and just to, you know, like, watch them and stuff like that. It was very cool. At Bridgestone?

Yeah. They're, like, the modern version of the Globetrotters. That's what I said. It's, like, that's how I would pitch them is going, it's the new Globetrotters. Was that the guys that, like, do a lot of trick shots and they throw watermelons off a building and try to land into a basketball ball and stuff like that? Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, just super fun stuff. Like a bowling ball off a building onto a trampoline. Yeah. Yeah, I love that stuff. It was awesome. Yeah. It was, they were very cool.

Like, I really did like them. There's a very funny video of Aaron from a few years ago, reenacting Dude Perfect, where he can't hit the shot. It was an old John Chris sketch video. It's very funny. Parodying the Dude Perfect guys. He goes, come on, I remember that. Yeah.

I do remember that. Oh, really? I did see it yeah you guys like the joke was I couldn't make the shot at the end

which was actually that happened when we were filming it I was trying to make it and then and then when I needed to make it for the video it took a while

yeah oh yeah oh cause you eventually did have to make it yeah when I had to make it eventually when I was trying to miss it

I kept making it it was a long it was a long video it was a long it was three minutes miss it, I kept making it. It was a long video. It was three minutes. You're like, I get what's going on here. It goes eventually, so I'm dressed as an old guy. What? How long is this video

going to get? We brought in some other stuff. Makeup artist. Scott Sowers. Scott Sowers. Sowers.wers sewers that's much happier i don't know it is happier seems like he's growing things yeah scott sours is like oh yeah we gotta go eat at the sours tonight they're like oh no right when they open the door, they go, hello. Hi. Hi. And you're like, did you not get food?

I forgot it was tonight, but we're starting cooking now. They start cooking then. Yeah. That's like the office. Yeah. How much editing is done on the pots? I'm somewhere between. There's no way they put that much effort into it because the strategy tracks for Nate Land.

And also, maybe they do trim and edit a bit because these guys are professionals. We'd love to know how much is cut out. Thanks Nate, Aaron, Dusty, and Barbados for doing great work. Uh, I don't,

none of it's cut out. No, it's all straight up. Did you leave there? We're leaving there. I just asked the air. You cut that out. Would you have cut that out?

Me asking to turn the air conditioner on? Yeah. Yeah. So that was that was yeah that was real stuff i don't have an air conditioner besides that you know he just throws things in it just sounds good yeah yeah you turn the uh yeah i don't even know i can't fix it uh buttons three don't think nate has mentioned this but rumor from another comic is that nate be in Seinfeld's movie called Unfrosted on Netflix. I am not in that movie. It's not true. But I did talk to Seinfeld.

All right. I have talked to him. There it is. Big time. Who predicted this? It's one of Bates' big predictions. One of Bates' predictions was I talked. It was very crazy.

I talked to Seinfeld, FaceTimed, and it was surreal. It was not super long. It was quick. I have his phone number. I was very excited about that. Can I have it? Yeah, I'll give it to you. I'll post it.

And yeah, it was crazy. I mean, just seeing him give it to you. I'll post it. And yeah, it was crazy. I mean, just seeing him, like just, it's unreal to, like you're just looking at him and you're like, it's you, dude. I know. It's you. That's amazing. And he was, yeah, he was very complimentary,

very nice and something. And the thing I did say, I was like, well, I won't bore you what, I said, I was like, I won't overwhelm you with like what you've meant to my career i did i go but i don't wear short sleeves on stage because of you like that's all and you like laughed at that it's like that's how much this dude's like i'm not wearing short sleeves on stage because you said it looked weird yeah in a commentary on your dvd not even

not even like that's what he lives by right it's just like an all and i he might even wear shorts it might be such a side comment that he doesn't even remember it and you're like and i don't it changed your life it changed everything yeah uh so yeah i did talk it was crazy it's very cool loved it it's amazing i would not be in that movie but it's yeah what were your other predictions Brian it was the Leanne Morgan episode

it was the last one of last year I said she would put out a special you would be do a late night set how's that coming

working on it and that you would meet Seinfeld and become friends with him and play Augusta no predictions for me, huh? None for Dustin. No.

You weren't on the pod yet. You weren't on the pod yet. We never saw that coming. Okay. Yeah, did not predict that. So one down. One down. All right.

One down. Yeah, it's crazy. And it's absolutely insane. This happened a little bit ago. I haven't really said anything about it when i talked to him but uh yeah i'm very excited i know it like i didn't i didn't tell it right when it happened like uh and i don't know if it should be people think it should be more you know if it doesn't feel like i'm excited i was very yeah i wish you

called me yes it is exciting but yeah i mean it would be weird if you were like jumping up and down or something in here, you know? Yeah, we mention him every podcast. Yeah, yeah. But, I mean, it was. It was pure insanity, and it was, like, just felt. It was, like, something that it was, you know, you were like, golly. It's, like, all the little things that you check off that you want to do,

like, when you start, like, meeting him was, like, just always there. And then it's weird that it's,'s weird that you're like, all right. I never hung out. I met him FaceTime. I've met him in person. What's the line from Comedian where he says, you'd never think life is going to be long enough that we'd actually meet each other?

Yeah. That's it. That's it. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. The Mark Norman episode from a year ago, we talked about that. And he was like, ah, he knows who you are. And you were talking to the camera like, Jerry, now you about that and he was like, ah, he knows who you are and you were like talking to the camera like Jerry, now you're friends.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You never, it's, yeah, I'd like to hang out with him and like, I like to like

really get to talk comedy with him. I think that I would really enjoy that, but it's, it was still, it was crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Brandy Hobbert.

Hello, folks. Does Aaron use the word y'all in real life? Sometimes it sounds like he is throwing it in just to fit in. It sounds forced. I guess I imagine that his family dinner conversations used to include a lot more ye and thy rather than y'all. I like Brandy. Thanks for keeping my days entertaining. Have a great one, y'all. I mean,y. Thanks for keeping my days entertaining. Have a great one, y'all.

Yeah. I mean, Brandy might be the fifth on the podcast. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I say y'all. I mean, I'm from Alabama. Both my parents use it. I use it all the time. I think it might sound forced because I enunciate pretty well relative to what's going on here.

Because of books. Because you read books. Books do help a lot, yeah. Books help enunciate. Do you use y'all a lot? You use it a lot? Y'all? I used to use y'all all the time.

I use it all the time. And then I started waiting tables, and I'd be like, how y'all doing? What can I get y'all to eat? Well, and I just y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all, to where I don't even really use it that much now. Yeah. I think you use it.

I think they get the gist of you being y'all. of you being like i don't know if you have to use it it's like it's basically written yeah it's like you're the head coach of the y'all team yeah it seems too much you're like yeah you don't have to wear your team jersey i mean everybody everybody knows you're you're using it yeah like it's like maybe it's too much also have the y'all team outfit on yeah yeah you can go too hard yeah uh-huh yeah i say y'all a lot uh i feel like i do too i'm sorry it sounds forced that's how i was raised yeah yeah you all would sound weird you all i say y'all all sometimes which doesn't even make sense y'all all like to do like when you're going to get your car fixed you just feel like i'm trying to make you know you don't know

how to talk down that low to a person that you just you get yourself confused yeah do you put change in your pocket just for that day to rattle it around what's up y'all all doing all right and you go what are you doing he goes like i go down let one of those idiots fix my car i have to go talk to these plebes you know i want to look like i fit in like in yours you're taking your tie off and you're having to suit and you're putting it wrinkle it up a bit a little coffee yeah is this what they look like i don't you know let me put my bills away and uh do you have any change i could have they only i think the only we see my billfold when you hang out with country or relatives do you ever feel like that you

don't want to use big words even if the big like i don't use big words that's that's too smart but i mean like sometimes if i'm like in the country i'm like i try to not dumb it down but switch it up a bit i i don't think people use big words around me still yeah i think i've even i meet people i think they i mean sometimes they say it in a joking way, but I do think people talk to me and they kind of go, I've set a tone that's like, I'm going to go, I don't know what that word means. I just did an interview and I told someone, I go, I don't know what that word means. They're like, really? And I was like, that makes you feel bad. Really?

You're like, yeah, why would I know? Yeah. I think people's personalities and their vocabularies are way more flexible than people realize. I think you kind of become whatever room you're in. I definitely feel myself doing that, and I think a lot of people do, too. Yeah, I've learned it's not that bad to go, I don't know what that word means. It's not that bad. Oh, I do that.

I've done it enough. And it's fun. It breaks the tension. If you ever don't know a word, it's funny. You can do it and be funny. And you're like, I don't know that word. And you're, I don't know what you're talking. You know, it's not like I ever just check.

I'm still like not getting it. Then they go, all right. They change the word. They start explaining what it is. And I'm still like, I don't, this concept, I don't even understand. Yeah. It's a table. this concept i don't even understand yeah it's a table uh i find myself matching the inflection and the whatever if someone calls me everyone has a different type of greeting yeah and i'll answer

it find myself trying to match their energy yes it's like i want to fit in so bad that if they're like what's up b-dog whatever like i'm gonna try to beat them to the punch yeah or if they're low energy which you're pretty low energy a couple times you're like are you okay like what's up b-dog whatever like i'm gonna try to beat them to the punch yeah or if they're low energy which you're pretty low energy a couple times you're like are you okay like somebody says you're trying to match what up b-dog to you how do you match that energy what do you do well i say what's happening j-dog not much here on the flippity flop it's like you're looking into a funhouse mirror of yourself yeah like it's the opposite like you uh yeah i i i i'm not i'm a fan of i've announced i'll look forward to a word i go i don't know what

that word means sometimes i'll try if i don't really know the person and you're like you're like this is just a casual like something you're trying to be like i don't want them to know that i don't know yeah but just so you don't know and then people just i've been once i drove and did a college gig somewhere uh maybe mississippi or something uh this is a while ago but i remember i stopped and got gas and i remember being in a place that was like more southern than i was probably comfortable with yeah and it was like you know you can go out of your you know you're like i'm southern i'm all about tennessee blah all this stuff and then you can get where it's like a little more country than you're like well i'm not even really oh yeah you're like this is uh let me take this collared shirt off before i go in the gas yeah you feel you feel like you just stick out where they're and you're like no no i'm from the south like too but it's like it's not that south yeah and then you're like oh yeah hey guys you know yeah you felt

uncomfortable yeah i've seen that uh uh leonard warner two dots above the o what does that mean i don't know i think it's gonna be i think you'd pronounce that Werner. Werner. So instead of just using a U or something, they just put dots. So every time he types his name out, he has to put two dots above it. Yeah. How do you even do that? You hold option. You hit option O. I feel like a guy like that.

You can do, that's what the line. I feel like Leonard's probably good at typing because he has to do he has to have a little more flavor yeah you're not even doing it uh i got the o with the dash through it if you want that that's pretty good sign for borat uh hey guys when i was listening to your podcast about aliens i was standing outside of my apartment complex having a smoke and suddenly saw a fireball in the sky that's a once in-in-a-lifetime experience, and it coincided. Is that it? Coincided.

Coincided. How did they get the word coin? And then coincided. I wonder which word came first. Like who? The English language is wild. Coincided. Coincided.

Coincided. And then co is a prefix.incided. Coincided. Coincided. And it co- is a prefix. Incided. As in the incident. Do you ever say incited? No. Not with a C. Yeah.

Incited. So the coin has nothing to do... Incited. Incited, yeah. That happened incited. Incited. Incited. inside it inside yeah that happened inside it that's that's that's how you know your country where y'all sleep inside inside of the house we're not that country yeah the fact that you two just said y'all talk down to some people well i didn't say talk down i don't want want that impression. Well, I didn't mean... Yeah, you're right. I didn't say I talked down. No.

They talked down. Right. You said you talked down. Y'all are... I'm trying to country it up a bit. Like if I'm in a gas station in Mississippi, I'll try to country it up. Yeah.

Yeah, you're right. Just so they... You know what I mean? Yeah. So they... Yeah, you belong. So coincided with listening to you guys blabbering about aliens i thought that was kind of cool that is pretty cool yeah i've seen uh yeah i saw a fireball like that i think i

talked about like it's crazy it's low like a shooting star but it's but it's low five like you almost can see the fire and the smoke that's crazy yeah do you think every time he was looking at he took a puff he's like it's getting a puff? He's like, it's getting bigger. No, it's getting lighter. No, it's getting bigger. It's just the end of the cigarette. Well, all the stuff that I said, I think he's good on typing. And then it just went down the side of his apartment having a smoke. I'm like, well, he doesn't know how to type.

He probably did that by accident. Yeah, and then Leonard saw a fireball in the sky. You're like, well, I don't know. Yeah, these two dots might not mean what we think they mean. He didn know how to get rid of it leonard's having a wild time yeah yeah leonard's like i just put those dots on there because i'm from alabama uh britney vander moyer moyer more i always like the last name but it starts with the vander yeah i always think that's a good it's a good, you know, are they all related? Oh, the Vanders.

Yeah, because it's always like some Vanders Sluzen and the guy that killed the- Vanderbeek. Vanderbeek. Like are Vanders- Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt. Is Vander, is that like, are they somehow related? Like it's not the, you know, it's like, well, we're all the Vanders,

but then, you know, we're kind of like the, how you flash it up a little bit. Yeah. It means from the family of. Oh, so there you go. From the family of more. So could we all be Vanders then? Is there any point to Vanders? Vander Bargetzi.

Yeah, but is there, like, is Vander really a thing, or is it like these people are just trying to be better than us? It becomes, it eventually becomes part of their actual name. I like Vander Slay. Vander Slay. That's actually pretty good. But like, why would, so Vander is Like, what word

does that, what? Yeah, like, is it Greek? Are they being annoying when they add it? I don't think so. Yeah. It may have initially been a pretentious thing to do, but it happened so long ago. Yeah, I'm not saying Brittany is doing it now, but she's still, unless I go to her house and her dad's like, I'm Mr. Moore.

And you're like, come on, Brittany. You just told me Vanderbilt. It would be a good way to add in, you know, some flavor. Bates mentioned way back in the Halloween episode that he was taking up birdwatching and also dropped a casual note that Dusty Slay was also an avid birdwatcher. Any riveting birding adventures in the works? I think we're all on the edge of our seats for this update. I'm on the edge of something.

Well, for myself, I just have bird feeders at my house, and then I'll just set out the back. This was mainly during the early days of COVID when we couldn't do anything. I would just set out, look at the birds. I had binoculars. During that time, my neighbor tore down a six foot privacy fence and put up an eight foot privacy fence. So I think they really, they did. Wow. So I think he might've thought I was spying on him, but he was very nice about it.

What did he, what did he say? He said, he said that he's an old guy. He goes, I'm about to get a new fence. That's what. That way you won't have to look at me anymore. And I was just trying to be fun. And I was like, hey, but I like looking at you. That went up quick. That fence went up quick. But I love the birds. I'm all about them.

I wonder, yeah, that is two more feet. Can you not see in there now? No. And you're really not even allowed with the homeowners association to have an eight foot prophecy fence. But somehow, I guess he contacted me. You should report him. Take that fence back down.

No, you can't. Then they just saw you. Yeah, they're like, we get it. Make it ten. You want to enclose the whole thing? Do you have any bird? We got a hawk now in our neighborhood that's... In the neighborhood?

Who talks? No one just says it. I would never just claim, well, eagle moved in down the street from us. So we're all talking about it. Well, I always say it like that because ruth read on the neighborhood association that it's been swooping down and trying to grab people's dogs maybe it'll get the squirrels yeah well i've seen it grab a squirrel it didn't it wasn't success russon one successfully take one away i saw it grab one and then the squirrel got away but now our little dog we can't just let her out in the

backyard to roam around because hawk's gonna swoop down and try to grab her. There you go. I mean, just to... That'd be hilarious. It's just problem after problem. It's the Wild West over there. It really is. It's the jungle. Even you go by, you get a dog, and it still just can't...

It can't, yeah. Can't let it out to use the bathroom. Now I got to go out there with a shield. Yeah. Can't let it out and use the bathroom. Now I gotta go out there with a shield. Yeah. You gotta go out there in an umbrella. And the hawk might get you.

It might. Yeah. I would, yeah, I would risk it with the dog. I don't know that I'd be out there with the hawk. Oh,

Brian's dog is about as big as his coffee cup. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but you're not a fan of dogs, so you might just say it's worth it, right? Yeah. Okay. Cut, but you're not a fan of dogs, so you might just say it's worth it, right?

Yeah. Okay. Cut to the bottom of that. Kyler Ludlow. You know who's the big bird watcher? Joe Zimmerman. Yeah. Really?

Yeah. Giant bird watcher. Giant. We ask him about every bird. I've been with Joe, watch him. He'll spot a bird. Yeah. He goes to Central Park.

Yeah. You know, I bought a Tennessee book, a book of birds of Tennessee. So I'll see the bird, flip through, find out what it is. Oh, that's nice. It's a lot of fun. Tennessee's got a lot of birds. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, no, I think, I do. I think it's great. Yeah, I think it's great. Yeah. I do. I do. Kyler Ludlow.

I live in Southeast Michigan and was excited to see a show coming on Nate's tour in Toledo come August. Then I found out that the show is at a zoo and it got me wondering, where is the strangest place you all have ever done a show and what animal would make for the best opener? animal would make for the best opener? Oh. I did an open mic in town last week where the stage was a pallet on a forklift. All right. That was new for me.

Yeah. To be standing on a forklift. I feel like the career's going well when that happens. Yeah. I think that, is that how you got started in comedy? Yeah. Well, I was the forklift operator. Yeah. And then I got off.

I think I could do this. a certain comedy? Yeah. Well, I was the forklift operator and then I got off. You guys, I think I could do this. Just raising the stage up. Yeah, just started doing it for the warehouse crew back there. Aaron and I

did a show at a dog park and people, I was finally getting some laughs and then I realized it's because the dog behind me is pooping.

That's tough to follow. I think Aaron even got a picture of it. Oh, yeah. I have a picture of it somewhere. The dog walked right up in front of you and started peeing all over the mic cord while you were on stage. Yeah. And only when you were on stage.

I think I was one of the first ones, so I kind of set the tone. I think some other people later it happened to, but, you know, I'm the one that everyone saw it happen to first. I think any animal that would be a good opener would be tough to follow. Oh, yeah. I mean, if an animal went on stage and was funny, and then you had to go up and just do regular jokes. To follow a talking animal, yeah, it'd be tough.

Yeah, I'm trying to think of what would be a good- Cheetah. Maybe a little parakeet. He'd be quick on the time. Yeah, yeah. Cheetah goes, you did one minute. You're supposed to do 10. Bat wouldn't see the light, dude.

There's dude perfect. Bat wouldn't see the light. I'm trying to find that picture. I'm trying to think who would be a peacock just because it's like, it's kind of nice. It's pleasant. It shows off as very arrogant, though. It likes to flaunt its wealth.

That's true. It's Hollywood connection. We talked about tail comics. You're going to know they're closer. That's true. And they're going to knock everything off. A dog's going to give you a tail. But a dog would do what's right by you.

And you're like, go out there. Don't do crowd work. Just do your act. Keep it clean. Keep it clean. A dog would love its audience, and the audience would love it Just do your act. Keep it clean. Keep it clean. A dog would love its audience, and the audience would love it. Yeah. Yeah.

And they would make the room right. Yes. They'd make the room right for you. Yeah. I think, yeah. If you want to look better, you'd follow a cat. Because then a cat, off-putting, half the room. You could run up with a newspaper and get it off the stage.

She'd walk some of the room. Yeah, she'd walk most of the room. And then run up with a newspaper and get it off the stage. She'd walk some of the room. Yeah, she'd walk most of the room. And then a few people would love her. Yeah. And then, yeah. So those are not animals at zoos. So you're doing a zoo? Toledo Zoo.

They have an amphitheater. That's cool. Yeah, we're doing a bunch of amphitheaters in August. It'll be fun, a lot of outdoors. We'll go to Wilmington, North Carolina back to the scene of the crime nice yeah

oh there it is right there or this is Aaron well this is one of the dogs they're in my set yeah alright

I'm glad we searched that out that's pretty funny yeah where you guys at I get it what's that where you guys at

look at you you look different I do I was much bigger back then is that the pallet back there that you performed on later? That just leaned up against the wall?

Might have been, yeah. Were you the first comic that moved it over into the shade? Yeah. I just picked up the speaker and walked in and he said you're welcome and he said

everybody Tyler York I've only been to a few comedy shows and the smaller ones offer a meet up with the comics after this show

I saw Brian and Aaron in Salt Lake City and it was cool to meet you, and thank you for the good show. But also, it feels a bit weird. Listening to the podcast is like an un- Reciprocated. Reciprocated.

I almost went recuperated. Unreciprocated. Listening to the podcast is like an un- Reciprocated no listen to the podcast it's like an unreciprocated relationship relationship it's fun listening but y'all have no idea

who we are is it worth it to you guys to meet up are you tired of the show imagine from your perspective it's not enough time to hold meaningful conversations

with hundreds of folks what is a good edict for others after the show? Would you prefer a quick thank you? Yeah, I don't know. It's always great. I mean, it's not about me being tired. Don't worry about me. That's how I think about it.

I'll be all right. Don't worry about me. Not in a mean way, I'm saying. It's not your responsibility. But it's after you learn to, I mean, some of them, it's hard. I can't go meet like I would have liked, like I would like to. It's too hard to do it. There's too many people now.

And it becomes a thing. I'll get to meet sometimes. I always appreciate it. I always see people always ask if I did a meet and greet. You know, is it weird to take a picture? I mean, your whole career, no one wants a picture. So who am I to say I'm above it now? I'm not.

So it is nice. It is nice when people are like, hey, man, big fan. They walk with it. But all of the experiences are their own personal experiences to whatever that person wants to do i think it's meaningful i like it in a club i love it i mean i you know i'm not doing uh you don't like in other places well no i mean in a like you're saying in a theater it's like yeah it would be too many people but in a club it's like yeah it's great i mean i come right off the stage so i'm still in like show mode yeah and then can can do it i mean it

you know uh i think it's great i mean it's hard it is hard to have any kind of conversation but it is fun to meet thank people for coming to see you do do a show i mean i've definitely done many shows where i'm just thankful anyone's there so it's like now that people actually do come to the show i you know yeah i love i'm not yeah i'm not above it uh i uh that's great i i leave it all on the stage and i just don't know what else you people need from me uh jeez bates would like to throw this question back to you guys the fans what what do you think is comfortable how long would you want bates to talk to you guys, the fans. What do you think is comfortable? How long would you want Bates to talk to you? Should he just say a quick thank you?

Should he not follow you to the car? Should he not look up information about you as you walk away? And he says, all right, and should you not get an email from him saying, happy birthday? Also, same thing back to. I've had many email exchanges. It usually ends with me doing the last. They've had enough after like five times like all right let's move on uh i always get that it feels weird but i always think you don't like you don't have to say that

people say that a lot i bet you hate this don't say like i always kind of like you know that's all that that to me is like kind of you're're like, I started this career to hope people would want to come to your shows and meet you. You know, it's fun to meet them. It's like you only have so much time. So it's like it might not, you know, it's like, but there's not gonna be like you're there forever. I think it's our responsibility to learn how to control the time of it too. That's part of, you know, you got to learn like, all right, let's, you know, it's like, because it is, it can be a lot.

No one really knows what to do. So it's like, but that's the job of, honestly, I think it's kind of me or the person you're getting the picture with to kind of like somewhat, like, all right, making it a nice experience when in the early days of featuring i mean i used to feature at these clubs and then you know it'd be like uh you know i don't know some comic headlining that i don't know in my opinion was not very good and then i would after the show i would go and stand there with my cds and no one would talk to me and everyone would talk to this comic that I just thought wasn't good.

So it's nice now that people do talk to me. You know how many times I was on stage and then got asked where the bathroom was or wasn't let back in the comedy club because they didn't know me? You know, I've headlined. When in Chicago, I did one and and they wouldn't add a show, my ID. My name was two sold-out shows.

Not the last time I did it, another time. Two sold-out shows, and the guy wouldn't let me back. At the Vic? Wow. At the Vic. When I was with you. Yeah. Yeah.

So, I mean, that happens still now. So, yeah, when people want to meet you, they say they're fans. And, you know know some are not some are quick and easy some are can be a little bit more and it's give and take overall luckily you guys are all very nice and uh i always think your audience kind of you hope to be is you track people that are like you yeah and so you it's like people that are going to know how to like, all of us are like, yeah, I don't know. It doesn't become too much.

One time I was featuring and right when I came off stage, this guy was just, he came up to me, he was just raving about how good my comedy was, right? And I was like, oh man, I really appreciate that. And then after the whole show was over, he comes up to the headliner and now he's raving to the head, and then looks at me and goes, ah, you were a little dry. And I was like, dude, what happened? You just loved my comedy.

What happened? Yeah. And so I'm afraid you not do that. Yeah. Yeah. You appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Appreciate not giving uh yeah not yeah it's like you know it took 45 minutes for you to think my comedy was bad yeah yeah uh spencer heaton i'm a bible teacher at a christian school the amount of amazing biblical knowledge that dusty just drops is incredible it's making this podcast eerily close to becoming a weekly required listening assignment in the upcoming school year. Let's go, folks. All right.

Well, I'm into it. He's into it. Thanks, Spencer Heaton. Dusty and I have had many... We got our camp chairs and sat out in the center of downtown Huntsville and had some Bible talk.

There you go. Not fun. No, we kept attracting the drunkest people in town. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's what it's all about. Yeah.

Maybe that's what it is. Didn't feel like it. Maybe God was... He kept sending us. He kept sending us, and y'all kept shooing them away. Maybe instead of just preaching to each other, maybe you could spread the word of the people that need it. Yeah, that is the opposite of what the whole point of being a Christian

is supposed to be, to witness. And you're like, can you do you mind homeless guy we're having a conversation here guy that's got his life together hey and jesus is like i don't what do you want me to do should i come down what are you not going to believe right now yeah huntsville was wild that's where we were at i mean it was wild downtown yeah it's a party with downtown's young yeah you know uh mike connell as far as people want to jump off cliffs i was at the cliffs of moair and mower in ireland in the summer of 2019 for a family reunion an old woman came up to my family as we looked over the edge and said be careful it calls to you it called to me yesterday i was sufficiently creeped out and i'm 90 sure she was a ghost i often think of just

how creepy it was whoa that is creepy goodness that is wild did anybody else see this woman that's what mike should be asking anybody maybe uh leon Warner. Yeah. He's out there smoking. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. It called to me yesterday, but she didn't jump. Yeah. That would be the-

Or maybe she did jump. Maybe it was a ghost. Maybe it was a ghost. Yeah. That's why. Oh, man. That creeps me out. Mm-hmm.

You picture it cloudy and called, you know, called to me yesterday. Well, I want to know though, was Mike thinking of jumping in that moment? Well, it's the idea that everybody, when you go to a cliff. That's why he shared that story because you shared that story. My wife was watching that podcast and I said on that podcast that that never happens to me, but she said one time we were all driving down the road and me and her were fighting. that that never happens to me. But she said one time we were all driving down the road and me and her were fighting. And then later I told her I wanted to drive the car off the road.

Yeah. And she said, you should have shared that on what it's like to fight with your wife. Yeah. And I was like, well, I do remember it now. Yeah. But yeah, we were fighting and I did want to just- But in the heat of the battle, you did it.

I wanted to jerk the wheel and just- Anything. When you're in the heat of the moment, you'll do anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. i don't remember i don't remember i'm not remembering now but i was such a in that moment i could have killed her so i don't like i'm not i'm not good on my it doesn't sound like a good relationship like but when i'm really in the thick of it i don't know what i'm doing. But, yeah, of course. What did you say?

We're having a good time if everything goes the way I think it should go. Yeah, yeah. That's true. Bonnie Paragoy. Did you think I was going to do that? You nailed it. Yeah? Yeah.

Thanks to Aaron, I got some good news at my annual doctor's appointment. I don't have a scale at home, so I don't ever weigh myself. But I have been doing intermittent fasting and knew I was losing weight. Yesterday, I learned that I've lost 26 pounds in the last year, and it was easy peasy. I just stopped eating breakfast. The new schedule is just the way I eat now. My doctor was very happy for me and asked if I had a goal, to which I replied, no, not at all. This is just the way I eat now. Thanks, Nate

Land. That's amazing. That's the way to do it. All right. Congratulations, Bonnie. So what do you think about getting back into it, Andy? It just... Sorry. Hey, man. Hey, man.

I feel like you're a guy that thinks about their credit a lot. Well, you know, I feel pretty good about where my credit's at these days, but there was a time when I spent a lot of time thinking about credit. Yeah, I think, yeah, I don't even really know what our credit is, but it's probably fine. Yeah, Laura thought about it a lot. I never thought about it. I've noticed the thing about the credit score.

When I got my credit card, I was like, I'm going to build this score up. You make a payment on time. Make a payment on time. I did that for two years, and it's like your score has increased one point. And you're like, my God. And then you miss it one month, and it's dropped 30 points. And you're like, what is then you miss it one month and it's dropped 30 points and you're like what is this dude is that really well yeah i feel like it drops so easily if you do one thing slightly wrong my credit will drop if i just spent less money than last month

yeah it's like i'm still paying my bill but like, yeah, but you didn't spend as much. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. Like, how does that even make sense? What is it? You need credit for like, if you're going to. So I just got a car. Yeah. They looked up my credit score.

It just shows you if you pay your bills on time. That's all. Can we trust you to pay everything? Yeah. And what's a good score? Like anything like 680 and above is pretty good. Yeah. Right?

And there's three places they look? The Experian's one. Equifax? Equifax. And then there's one other. Yeah. And then they combine them? They can do an average.

Yeah. When I got the car, they just looked at one. Yeah. And they're like, this is fine. Yeah. All right. Well, I hope your credit score is up to well you know they used to have all these commercials for checking your credit score

which i always thought was fun because they they would act like that your credit score would get better just by checking it but the reality is it can go down in the future just for looking at it yeah they don't want you looking that much. Yeah. You'd say in the commercials, you go, do you want to live at your parents' house forever? You better check that credit score. Yeah, exactly.

But then if you check it, you get in trouble. Right. They're like, don't look, what are you looking at? Yeah, yeah. If you go to the bank and the bank checks

and they call it a hard credit check, then that can really affect it. Like that's, it's a bad thing because the bank had, you're doing so bad that you had to get the bank involved? Yeah. So you get punished for that?

Who is doing this? These independent companies, these credit evaluators. Okay. Yeah. And they decide on how you spend money? Somebody who loans you money will want your score from these companies so they know whether or not they can trust you yeah but you got to trust those companies i'd imagine those companies you're like well who are they sure you could say you don't know who they are yeah but you

have no you have no leverage in this situation at all but how could you punish someone for just checking the score i should be able to check the score as often as i want that doesn't seem fair you're right it doesn't yeah yeah i don't know why they do that's the way it works you're not allowed to go see so how do you know if it's bad well they're like well it must not be good if you're worried about it this much yeah yeah i don't know the reason that's if that's real that's crazy that can't be the reason that can't be the like that you get punished for wondering like you just i mean like our credit gonna go down because we're talking about this yeah it could be i think there's a soft check where you can look and it doesn't affect it you just gotta be is there i don't

know that's like heard that all right oh you can look through the door yeah i'm not gonna you can't walk in the room you can look at the screen door. You can't open it. Can you have a friend look for you? I saw two zeros. I don't know if there was a one or a seven, but it's either a one or 700. I'm either 100 or 700. That's what I know I'm at. Like, that's.

Like, who, like, how hard is it to check someone's credit? Like, it doesn't even. It's pretty easy. It's not like you got to go to a factory and they got to put together, all right you want me to check you it's like you're gonna get punished it's your you're like how's your credit score not just stay like on a you could have it on your app mine is on my credit card app when it's just it's just right there on the home screen so every time you see it yeah but that's a soft check yeah A hard inquiry or a hard check is when a financial institution actually does an official look at it. And I think the thing is-

And that affects your credit score. And you can drop, your credit score can drop. I think if you try to get a loan and then someone looks at your credit and decides that your credit's not good enough, and then you go somewhere else and then they check, I think you're dropping because they're going, well, if these banks don't trust this guy, do we really trust him? Yeah. Here's an explanation from Credit Karma. It said multiple hard inquiries in a short period, if you're getting a lot of hard checks in a short amount of time,

that could lead lenders and credit card issuers to consider you a higher risk customer as it suggests you may be short on cash or getting ready to rack up a lot of debt so if they're like if you're checking on your credit score if you get a hard check yeah then you're about to you're about to go into you know you're about to get a lot of money yeah you're about to go into debt oh so that's what they want i don't know why they make your credit go down that's what they want is you to loan a lot of money. I don't know.

Well, the idea of the soft credit. I just don't like that. It's like, what's the soft? So the soft one, you're like, so that's not a real number? And you're like, I'm eyeballing it. I mean, if you could look at your soft credit, can it really be like it's 6? So soft credit says it's 680.

And then you go to a hard one. They're like, it's 200. Yeah, just do it at the bank on your own app yeah this is it right here yeah like what's the difference of a soft and you know i i i think i don't like that there's a way that it's like it feels like someone could change something i think that's what like from the soft to the hard is like there's something where you're like what does does that mean? Like, what is that? Why is it like, well, this one's kind of it. And then you go look here and you're like, well, now that's someone just literally looking at you going like, I don't want. Because if you have a higher limit on your credit card, then your credit, your credit will go up.

So it's like, it's almost like if they're like, you're allowed to have this much. Can we trust you with it? Yeah. Here you go. Not to get too crazy, you're allowed to have this much, can we trust you with it? Yeah. Here you go. Not to get too crazy, but the scary part is this. Let's say the government starts looking at your number, and then they go, you can't go to a grocery store if your credit score is under a certain number. Yeah. Your kid can't go to college if your credit score is under a certain number.

It's crazy. Yeah. That can happen. Yeah. They say you can't go to a grocery store if your credit's too low? Why not? What's stopping them? That's what they're happen. Yeah. They say you can't go to a grocery store if your credit's too low. Why not? What's stopping you? Yeah, that's what they're saying right now.

They said that today. It came out in the news today. That's been happening for years. That's a good, you know. Well, China in some places, they give you the social credit score. They give you a score. Yeah. That is true.

Just being a person. Yeah. Like you're a good dude, not a good dude. And you're not allowed to do certain stuff with your scores. They always use the- Oh, really? They always use jaywalking. They say like if you're caught jaywalking, they'll drop your-

Or if you're not nice to people. What are you not allowed to do? I think I like this. What are you not allowed to do? I think get things like get a loan or buy certain things. Oh, yeah. Or not ride public transportation. Oh, really?

I think so in china yeah because you're that's crazy so you're allowed to just not all of china but just certain places yeah yeah it's kind of like an uber rating yeah it is it's like an uber rating for your whole life yeah that's crazy yeah but who decides that in china the government or like crowdsource because they're the ones writing it off yeah they're yeah like yeah i mean i don't think it's a probably uh i don't think it's all probably done with the right heart and mind i know a lot of the things like an idea that you like the heart is there but it's they mean well yeah it's but i don't know you can get throttled internet speeds you can get banned from flights wow yeah because you're social you're like it was a bachelor party

it was 25 years ago i can't you're not to let me into this Toys R Us. All right. This week, talking about the opposite of any of this, animal attacks. All right. Yeah. I love it. I imagine if you get attacked by an animal, that's going to lower your social credit score, though. Does it do the animals?

I don't know if it would. Would it? It depends on. I would be curious to see what the animal attack, you know, like it depends of what's the situation animal attack, you know, like it depends if, what's the situation. How did you handle yourself during it? Well, were you-

Did you lose your cool? Like, was it provoked? If you provoked it, that would be, that's your social score. Is the animal endangered? Yeah. Oh, that's another one. That's not good. Well, I'm guessing the governments that are initiating programs like that aren't too crazy about protecting endangered species.

You know, that's the way I think. Yeah. Political statement. Wow. Yeah. China's not known for its national parks. Are they not?

Maybe it is. I genuinely don't have any idea. Yeah. They got a great wall. Yeah. They're pretty big about that. They're a big thing. They're big about us. don't have any idea. Yeah. They got a great wall. Yeah, they're pretty big about that. Their big thing they're big about is don't come in here. Have you seen our wall?

Yeah. That's like a very funny thing that you offer. Oh, can I get a tour of the house? Yeah, first look at the front door and the outside of it. Welcome to this. Hey, you're not allowed in. Like that is, everybody goes and takes. Their biggest thing is to go look at the thing

that doesn't let people in. Have you seen her great wall of china? That might not even be worth a wall of china. I think at one time it was. The idea of our big thing is to keep people out. Ours is the Statue of Liberty, which is welcoming people to the country.

Have you seen ours? Right when you come in the door. Hello? There it is. Lighting the way for Yeah. Have you seen ours? Right when you come in the door. Yeah. Hello? There it is. Welcome to New Jersey. Lighting the way for you. Yeah. The torch up there. They did a survey a few months ago of Americans to see what animals would win in a fight and what animals humans could beat in a fight.

And if you could pull that up. Yeah. Six percent of American men said they could beat a grizzly bear in a fight, which is ridiculous. So I imagine these are big dudes, though, who would say that. Yeah, but still, come on. Just juke it. What about like a Brock Lesnar type?

You don't think Brock Lesnar could take a grizzly bear? I looked up, like, could an MMA fighter, like, choke a bear out or just anything? And they're like, no. It would be over just like that. But people have done it before. Yeah. People have fought off bears. Yeah.

Well, they fought off. They didn't win a fight. I'd say if you... The bear left. I mean, I saw The Revenant. That's based on a true story. By bear. He had a gun and a knife.

You remember the old Tank Abbott? Yeah. MMA guy? I think if he got a couple of punches to the face of the grizzly bear, I think he'd take it. Well, Khabib wrestled bears, right? When he was a kid, Khabib would wrestle bears. Yeah, they're big dudes.

Yeah, I'd take this guy over a bear. Yeah. It's the idea that so your mentee your brains come into it are you serious yeah why not yeah people have killed bears before so your your uh your smartness comes into play too so that's that's used as your advantage you're talking about pure strength no no no humans are strong you're talking about like just straight up they walk in and it's like, here we go.

And you just got to be smarter than the bear. You trip it. Trip it. It falls down. You know how hard it is for a bear to get back up? It's not easy. Imagine a bear comes and attacks a guy like Butterbean. Yeah, you got Butterbean pulled up.

And Butterbean starts whacking him. He's like, whoa, whoa. I didn't see that coming. Da, da, da, da, da, da. Yeah. He's like, the last guy I attacked just laid down on the ground and played dead. I think a lot of stuff will have to go right. Yeah.

Yeah. To say the least. But, you know. I mean, like, what about like. I think 6% is a good amount. Like, that's a good amount that said they could do it. Yeah, I believe those 6%. Yeah.

I believe those 6%, and you can talk to me that it's only 4%, and there's 2% that's just, well, you're a lunatic. What about like- And then there's the 4% that you're like, all right. Now that, if you could scroll down a little bit further, it will show what animals, that's what you could beat. I love the fact that 28% feel like they can't take out a rat. Yeah.

I might be one of those 28. Yeah. House cat, goose, 61%. Goose are tricky. Yeah, they're mean. They're mean. I got boxed out by some geese on a hike in Bristol, Tennessee. This little narrow passageway.

This goose just stood there in the middle and just wouldn't let me pass. And it took like 20 minutes. They're scary, dude. The thing about a lot of these animals is you can't just go around kicking a goose. Like if you were down there on that trail and that goose was coming at you and you kicked it, stomped that goose into the ground, and then some other hikers came yeah they'd be like jeez dude what if uh so i would think that you got to look at the you look at this list of animals so that's it goes uh rat house cat goose medium-sized dog medium-sized down to 50 50 think they could beat it eagle 30 large dog 23

chimpanzee 17 king cobra 15 so now you're getting into the low ones so you gotta go all right where am i where am i getting nervous at uh you know large dog you're like all right i think i could beat it i think you gotta look at like what animal am i comfortable charging so who am i comfortable like grabbing and like charging and you got to really be on man-to-man combat and so you got the dog champion z i think is tough because they're just so much they're strong yeah that if they uh and they have fingers and stuff right like you so that's that's bad news yep uh king cobra obviously is just i mean i think you could beat it up you'd have to get it by the tail and then sling it but once you did that it would be over but it's i charm it i play music you would yeah yeah you know my dad told me he knew a guy

that guy attacked by a fox recently he was cleaning his pool and a fox came up sorry and he said he the guy killed the fox yeah but the fox was tearing him up yeah biting his legs and just bit the guy up in the end he won yeah but he got eat up yeah i think every animal is going it's going to be tough i mean even a rat would be hard because it's great it's a matter of like you got to think now this is not a normal fight this is this is a fight to the death so you're thinking you're in a room you can't leave the room one of you maybe not is it a fight to the fight to death i don't they don't specify to the death it's gonna be it's gonna be tough to kill a grizzly bear with your bare hands yeah like it's gonna be tough to kill a lot of these things. Yeah, even the stories I know about

people that have killed grizzly bears, they had a knife. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, and that's, well, but it's not fair. He's been looking at me with disappointment since I said that. He's been mean mugging me from across the table.

I just think it's ridiculous that you could beat a bear in a fight. You think it's ridiculous that any single human being could beat a grizzly bear? I do. You don't think any human being who's ever lived could take a grizzly bear in a fight? You think it's ridiculous that any single human being could beat a grizzly bear? I do. You don't think any human being who's ever lived could take a grizzly bear in a fight? Andre the Giant.

I mean, maybe you get lucky and survive, but you're not... Well, that's what we're talking about. No, you could run from a bear and survive.

I'm talking about where he got the worst fight. Bam Bam Bigelow. No. These bears weigh five, six, 700 pounds. They've got the huge paws and claws. They're allowed to bring knives.

I almost think a lion is scarier to me than a bear. Why is that? Because a lion is like you don't know how to grab it. But you can ride a lion. Cats just feel like it would be, a house cat feels like it would be tough in a lot of ways. But then make it a lion. Yeah. I know I heard of a lady.

I would slide and take all four of its legs out. Oh, yeah. His legs are small. Yeah. I'd go, if I have the lion, I'm going legs, maybe tail. I want to do something with the tail. I bet they don't like that. Tail.

Yeah, tail's got to be the way to go. I bet they don't like that at all. What about the be the way i don't think they i bet they don't like that at all what about the main if you control that tail you control that line i read a story about a lady in georgia that choked out a bobcat with her bare hands yeah and uh it said it was trying to attack her and her grandbaby so she choked it out and then i went to that town and did comedy and i talked about that lady at the show next time i went back to that town she came no way and we met wow yeah and what'd she say well she just said i called her a hero yeah and she said well i'm not a hero but yeah i was about to attack my grandbaby you go this town a lot huh i've been there twice yeah it only took two times yeah yeah is this dd phillips is

that her name i don't know what's the town that you got here? This is the town of Hart County, 110 miles northeast of Atlanta. I think we went to the town. We did the show together in that theater. Oh, okay. She came to that show. Oh, wow. Well, we stayed at that cabin.

That's right. Yeah, I was with you. I don't remember meeting this woman. Yeah. I would think you would. Well, she was just a regular woman. It was a crazy show. It wasn't right after the attack.

After you met him, did you not go to Aaron and go, by the way, that woman strangled a bobcat? I'm sure I did. The bobcat was rabid, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. Which kind of ups the ante a little bit. Yeah, but it's weak.

That fox probably was, too. Yeah. It was weak though. It was weak, but if you get bit or it gets on you at all, you could get rabies. I bet you had a tetanus shot. A rabies shot. Tetanus shot.

Rabies. Tetanus. I would ask for a tetanus shot. Then you'd die of rabies right after. I'll tell you what. I'm so thirsty. I'm tired of going to the doctor and going, when was your last tetanus shot?

I don't know. Quit asking me. I don't. Does everybody just remember? I don't remember mine. And they go, have you had a tetanus shot recently? And then they're like, well, in the past 10 years. What are you talking about, dude?

I don't walk around stepping on a lot of nails. Yeah, I have no idea when I've had a tetanus shot. I don't know. Stepping on a nail was. Yeah. I have no idea when I've had a tennis shot. I don't know. Stepping on a nail was a big fear for us as a kid for some reason. There's a chance I've never had a tennis shot, and I've just told doctors I think I did have one recently. Yeah. Because I can never remember.

Is there a danger in getting too many too close to each other? I don't know, but they should keep more of a better chart. Yeah. Maybe keep track of that a little. It's because you're getting tennis shots. I mean, you get a tennis shot, you can get them in the back alley. I mean, they just handed them out. Oh, yeah.

So you're never like at a proper thing. You're always like just in the back of a Home Depot. You want a tennis shot? You're like, I don't know. If you had one recently, you're like, why am I even getting offered this right now? Yeah. Well, there was a list of deadliest animals in the u.s i mean you could guess but we're gonna tell you it's kind of a it's not what we're talking about it's not a trick question but

it's not like the meanest animal the deadliest spider mosquito mosquito is by far the deadliest worldwide uh deer oh yeah Deers are pretty wild. Do deer kill people? Just because of car wrecks. Yeah. So that's why I'm saying it's a little misleading. Here we go. I mean, there's one list that said humans because of global warming.

Oh, my goodness. Here we go. We can't even have a conversation. I think the humans could be a lot more deadly for other reasons than global warming. Yeah, they just straight up kill each other. Yeah. But deer, I've heard about people shooting deer, going to look for the deer and had not killed it, and then the deer attack them. Oh, that's a pretty smart move on the deer.

Yeah. Kind of respect it. Yeah. Standing up behind a tree. You used to have a very funny joke about that, shooting at a deer and he not letting it go yeah do you remember that oh yeah yeah the dude shoot a deer and missed and the deer you know yeah the deer the wife's like let it go he's like no no no no yeah yeah no no go back inside hey where do you get off something like that. Well, as far as bear attacks,

it basically said, don't do what you suggested. Don't try to run from the bear. Grizzly bear, that is. Because no one's trying it. They said they can run as fast as a horse. Wow. And they'll catch you. It doesn't matter.

It's the... It's the juice. Hey there. Shake and bake. Barry Sanders could evade a grizzly bear. Yeah, I bet so. I bet Barry Sanders could tackle a grizzly bear. Well, he's a running back.

But you tell me, though, he couldn't tackle it? You tell me Barry Sanders couldn't tackle it? Come on. Come on. You sound like a guy. I feel like you slurred that, too. I did. You sound like an old, drunk, dusty.

You tell me, Barry Sanders. You tell me, Barry Sanders. I feel like you slurred that. It sounded like an old drunk Dusty. You talking about Bear Sands. Bear Sands. You said Bear Sands can't take a tackle book. And you're like, Dusty, are you driving? Did you? Bear Sands. You look me in the face. You said occasion. Right now in the face, you're going to look me in the face you sound occasion

right now in the face you look me in the eyes face and say best sons best sons can't take best sons can't take

a good bed best sons can't take a good bed is that what you gonna tell me right now alright Dusty alright bud this guy

something's wrong with him. It says, while you're walking on the trail, grizzly bears yell hello or whoop whoop. Hey, bear. Whoop whoop. Whoop whoop. Why is there another cop? Popo here. Whoop whoop. Clap your hands. That's another cop popo here whoop whoop clap your hands

that's nothing hey bear bells don't work they said not effective warning what doesn't work wearing a bell oh

cause they cause you can hear do we talk about that show alone yeah no but I've been getting told about it a bunch I just watched the season that's on Netflix yeah it's like season 8 I heard it's awesome yeah it is bunch. I just watched the season that's on Netflix. Yeah, it's like season eight.

I heard it's awesome. Yeah, it is really cool. And they say hay bear a ton because they run into grizzly bears nonstop. But they also all have an air horn on them. They give them all an air horn, and that'll get them to go away most of the time. That's why – so you look at a fight. So it depends on what comes into play with a fight. So it's the 6%.

I get the idea of, like, yes, the bears are much stronger. But in a fight, if they're scared of noise, an air horn, then you're like, you do have, there's some advantage of the fact that this bear is so dumb. Yeah. That comes into play. Pure strength, I can't. But smarting it outsmarting it is i'm not saying you're gonna take the risk of this i'm saying you would take the risk of

fighting this like that you're but if you if it's a you have to in a situation you're fighting it you're gonna have to use your smarts and that's when you talk about running with it you're like you're just zigzagging you're going going through the trees. Go make circles around some trees. He doesn't know what's... He's never seen this. Yeah. They're just all... They walk straight.

They don't do... Let me ask you this, Brian. The grizzly bear comes at me and we kind of square up and then I yell as loud as an air horn and the grizzly bear runs away. Is that not winning the fight to you? I don't even think

that was a fight but it would be it would be the start of a fight you're talking about physical strength we're talking about look can i bench press as much as a bear no all right yeah is he going to do better than me at the combine yes but am i gonna i want to make the team? I don't know Because he can't keep it together Long enough I like the idea that you square up With the bear And then yell like an air horn Yeah

Bear Sands Bear Sands Look at him Bear Sands He's lying back for the New York Giants Bear Sanders Doesn't know anything about sports Bear Sanders could do it Come on

So if you're Attacked by a grizzly bear You should play dead But if it's a black bear, don't play dead. Try to fight it off. What does it say? If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lay down.

Yeah, that's right. It's good to remember. Yeah. I'm just looking at the screen here. I see that there is some percentage that appears to be able to beat an elephant. Now, that's the most astounding to me. It says 9% of men say they could take on an elephant eight percent eight percent of women yeah i mean uh i mean now huge yeah but you can get a but you

can an elephant is not real nimble it's not in a jump on its its turn radius it probably takes it's like jumping 10 years to rotate around. It's going to jump on one of those Velcro walls. That's what I just pictured. It kind of sits there. Its legs are all spread open. I mean, yeah, we're talking

about, if you're talking about physical strength, then there's basically no on all this. But if you're allowed to use your brain, brain is extremely powerful and these elephants they you know i mean they're in the circus dude we have conquered the elephant yeah bears too though we've conquered the whole world yeah we're killing it is true a lot of gorillas in the circus though do you see chimpanzees you see chimpanzees all the time i mean a dime a dozen yeah too many of them a lot of gorillas in the circus, though, do you? You see chimpanzees. You see chimpanzees all the time. A good bit, yeah.

I mean, there's a dime a dozen. Yeah. Too many of them, a lot of people say. What do you have, chimpanzees? Yeah. If I'm in a circus, it doesn't have chimpanzees. Yeah, what kind of circus is this? Yeah.

It says if an elephant- Yeah, I don't know who won the fight. I don't know. Go to our zoo. We have them in cages. So who- You tell me. Let me go meet your bear zoo that's got a bunch that's got

a cul-de-sac that i can go walk around and visit you can't uh it says if an elephant um tries to attack you stand your ground and shout loudly at the elephant in most cases it'll make one or two mock charges and then move off you got to be be really, really not to flinch there. Yeah. If the elephant isn't mock charging, but makes a real charge, run from the animal in a zigzag pattern and find a large object,

hide behind, yell something like no or stop that or get out of here at the elephant. That's the only words they know? Stop that. No. No. No.

It's like an elephant that has no interaction with a human being. And then he goes, no. He goes, all right. Now, there was a case last month in India where an elephant killed a woman. And they found her body. And then they had the funeral. And on the way to the funeral, the elephant saw the woman's body and came running and trampled her corpse again.

It was so mad at her for whatever reason that it sought her out. You got to love this elephant. Why did they bring the elephant to the funeral? You got to love that elephant. Oh. Oh, wait. Oh, they say an elephant never forgets. She got killed by an elephant.

Yes. Yeah. And then the elephant, why was the elephant at the funeral? That's what I'm wondering. Yeah. It was outdoors, and it was just roaming, and they were like an outdoor place to have the funeral and the elephant comes out of nowhere this is india and nowhere see i think

i don't know if i believe in you like so this is what i think there's literally parts think that people think they make it sound like india or these other countries that people like don't know how to live yeah and they don't know how to even exist on Earth. Because that doesn't make sense to me. That, I don't, like the story is, you're like, so she was killed by an elephant. Yeah. And the elephant stayed.

And then they said, we're doing it at the funeral. And you're like, we thought about doing it where she was killed by the elephant. And then the elephant's like, come on she's still here and then runs and does it again yep it doesn't make like it's like you want to go like what do you you don't think india people know how to live a life dude like they're not they're it's it's just i don't know if i believe this i love that elephant would you could you google it yeah i mean i love that elephant that Could you Google it? Yeah. I mean, I love that elephant. That elephant's like, nah, I'm not letting it go.

Yeah. I don't know what that lady did. Elephants have great memories. I'd like to know what she did. Yeah. Because that elephant was like, nah, this lady does not deserve this funeral. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a big, long story. Elephant reportedly returns a woman's funeral after trampling her to death. I just don't. It's like. It's loading. It's just going to take a minute. So what do you do if an alligator or a crocodile comes out? Zigzag.

That's what we'd always heard, but that's not true. Oh. What do you do? You roll. Yeah. Go ahead, because that's what he's going to try to do to do you roll yeah go ahead because that's what he's gonna try to do to you so you go ahead and do it you go ahead and do it roll to the ground yeah the alligator's like oh well that's what i was gonna do so yeah i would say you run and jump

like right when he's running at you you run and jump jump over it like the game pitfall yeah the old atari game yeah do you run toward him and then when you get there, jump him? Yeah. Yeah. It'll take him a while to turn around. Yeah. They always say these animals can run 30 miles, but that's the thing too. But they don't want to chase you.

If they're... They can run and burst, but are you going to tell me that an alligator can keep up 30 miles an hour for a good... Well, you're right. In this case, they say run as fast as you can in a straight line because you can outrun an alligator. It says they run 18 to 20 miles per hour.

It would catch me, but most people, they say, could outrun an alligator or a crocodile if you just run as fast as you can away. Yeah.

So don't run a zigzag. They just said run as fast as you can in a straight line. Zigzag probably would get you caught. Yeah, it would slow it down. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I would think that you could it's it's yeah i would because you know all these animals can run fast but like unless it's like a lion or it's like something that's like honey like uh you know yeah alligator's all about the sneak attack yeah just don't be in a swamp getting down to scoop a little water. That's even with a bear. If I run, if I get out of where the bear is being protective, like where the cubs are, eventually if you run and get far enough away, does the bear then just go like, all right, he's out of my zone,

and then you just keep going another way? You know what I mean? Yeah. He's like, finally, he's gone. Yeah, it won't stray too far from home. Yeah. Like it's just trying to get you out of the, you got to go into like, what does the bear want? He just doesn't want me to be in.

She doesn't want me to be here. They're so fast that they catch you quick. You don't even get to get out of their zone. But they got to run through trees and stuff. I mean, it's not like there's not, we're talking about like on a track. If I meet a bear and we're on a high school track, running track, I'm in trouble. But if you've got some trees in the way. But don't you have those same trees? But I'm way smaller.

So you can dodge them. I could. I mean, you know. It's. Yeah, I mean, you got to. It depends on your dodging ability. That's for sure. Your dodging ability is much better than a bear's.

I mean, I know they can go, but it's. I mean, they're going to just start hitting some trees, and they're going to knock them down with their force. Look, I'm not saying we're going to. We're trying to do this with a bear completely, but it's possible. Let's have a conversation about it. There was a couple weeks ago, there was a video of family hiking, and a bear started following them, and they had their kids with them.

Oh, yeah, I saw it. And they were yelling, hey, bear. Yeah. And the little kid was like, can we play dead now? Yeah. And I think after a while, that bear finally just trailed off. Yeah. He just got bored with them eventually?

I think so. I think it was like 20 minutes. Yeah, follow them for a while. It's not like the bear wants to eat you really unless they're in like and i started there's this podcast on youtube called scary bear attacks and it's just brutal grippy bear attacks and so i just started like like i started listening like there was a bear it's apparently this story a long time ago like where uh this was forever ago but a bear like killed like six people in a family like went into a house and like went after like the people you know but this was the back when people left which i guess the is the same with the india thing saying the same thing like they still live like this was. The case in India was an elephant escaped from a nearby wildlife sanctuary.

It was like 10 minutes away from this little city. So it was like a wild elephant on the loose. It attacked this woman, killed her, and then showed back up when they were doing the funeral. I like to think that woman was at the zoo the day before taunting the elephant. Throwing stuff at him. And the elephant was like, you know what? I have figured out how to get out of here,

but I didn't have a good reason. Now I do. Yeah. It's crazy. Now I'm going to go ahead and get out of here. It was a 70-year-old woman, too. Yeah. It still seems crazy.

Yeah. It's definitely a crazy story. Yeah, it's a crazy story. I don't know well hugh glass the guy from the revenant there's never a photo of like there's like that's like a foul photo like there's never it's all this i just would like to be like words i i just want to wrap my head around yeah it's hard it's and i could be completely wrong but i it's uh so you said the guy from the world you you said the guy from the...

Hugh Glass, the guy the Revenant's based on. That's a real story. The grizzly bear. And they did leave him for dead. Two guys. They thought he wasn't going to make it and left him for dead. And then he crawled his way to safety and sought those guys out. He didn't kill them.

But it's much more true than I realized about the Revenant. What did he do when he got to them? I think one of them was fighting in the war, and he told him that you better stay enlisted in the Army, or if you ever leave the Army, I'm going to kill you. Yeah. He just threatened him. And the other one, I can't remember.

One thing I read is he said he just forgave them. Yeah. The other one said he threatened them. Why did they leave him out there? Just because? They thought he was dead. They wasn't going to make it oh they were all together it was just two guys yeah that were left just like the movie left to watch after him i mean i need to watch it again you know most of them went on two guys volunteered to stay and watch him and oh because he was

attacked with the group two guys stayed to watch him to heal him back up and then they go look he's not going to make it. And so then they left. Left him for dead. And then he. And he survived. He crawled himself to safety. Yeah.

That movie was wild. I mean, I said it already, but that changed my whole outlook on bears. I still think Butterbean, Tank Abbott got a good chance with a bear, but not me. Yeah. I don't think they got a good chance yeah they got but it's better chance than us yeah it's i mean the bears are so much stronger i mean it is it's it's it's a joke in the fact that like they and they can lift a car i just think butterbean they can move a car like it's not with one hand butterbean in his prime pops him a couple of times that bear is going to be like well, I didn't really bargain for this.

If you add your brains into it, the smart. That bear in Alaska, the one that walked past the tourist, that's so crazy that they, I mean, I'm sure they were scared to death, but they're just, I mean, I guess you just freeze. What about Mike Tyson versus a bear? Mike Tyson

in his prime. In his prime. But he gets at least the first punch. Yeah. Is it enough to make the bear walk away? I mean, look at that thing. Here's a bear walking through Alaska Katmai National Park. Yeah, that looks like it. That's a grizzly bear, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's crazy. If that bear wants to, and he sees himself. Uh-oh. He sees himself on the sign. And he comes back to them? Yeah, they're saying, hey, it's crazy. If that bear wants to, and he sees himself. Sees himself on the sign. And he comes back to them. Yeah, they're saying, hey, bear. Oh.

Why are they saying anything? Yeah. You gotta be nice to them. Oh, man. They're friendly. Well, because you have no choice, I guess, there, but to just try not to be like, I hope he doesn't really care about us.

I mean, I think the move is not make a sound yeah yeah well i think it but it's it's it's don't make any jerky motions or sudden movements or i mean it's it's when that when you think all right it's gone and then when it stops and turns you're like oh boy oh boy yeah i don't think people can think it's you know you're kind of like well i don't know if anything's going to happen with this but i mean look the bear is it would be yeah that's it would be tough to beat it in a fight. Where's the guy? Your brains have to come into it.

If the bear gets you, it's over. I think if he gets any human, it's over. You can't get him off of – but if you got to – Yeah, you got to be quick. You got to do some moves. You got to figure something out. If you run, you got to run. gotta be you gotta do some moves you gotta figure something out if you run you gotta run i think you gotta run i i could there they tell you don't run then but when the bear starts attacking you yeah i think at a point i think your instincts kick in could

a lion beat a bear you think that would be a fun man i think i looked it up didn't you ask that yeah we asked i don't think i don't think it could. They would never meet. There is cases of a Siberian. They will one day in my world. We could make it happen, yeah. At the Nate Land theme park. At the Nate Land theme park. Siberian tigers have killed bears. Siberian tigers, I think, have killed bears.

Grizzly bears? Yeah, I think so. But those tigers are huge think, have killed bears. Grizzly bears? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think so. But those tigers are huge. They're much bigger. It's a matter of, you got to, like, is it going to know it's in a fight? So if you tell a grizzly bear, like, you're in a fight, and he's like, all right, I understand that, then you're in trouble. But, you know.

Right. Like, if you get surprised by one. Yeah. There was a bear attack, especially black bears, incredibly rare. But there was a couple of years ago in the Smoky Mountains, they found a bear attack especially black bears incredibly rare but there was a couple years ago with smoky mountains they found a bear eating a guy the guy was dead and they were like wow this is crazy they euthanized the bear turns out the guy had already died from a meth overdose and the bear just found him so it wasn't like a bear attack just just happened the bear found the body but people were freaking out for a short time.

Like there's a wild bear on the loose. Yeah. I feel like there's a comic I know that has a joke about that. Chance Willie has a joke about that. Okay, okay. It's like, yeah, well, now the bear is on meth. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. A meth edible, he says. Yeah. Yeah. Now, constricting snakes, would you know what to do there? How to get out of it? Yeah. A bear? Yeah. Yeah. Now, constricting snakes, would you know what to do there? How to get out of it? Yeah. A bear?

Yeah. And you... Bite the snake. Yeah. Do you need to get your arms in there? It says take your non-dominant hand, wrap your arm around your ribs to try to protect it, and then take your dominant and try to pull it off. Yeah.

By the head. Depends on how big it is. If it's big, you're in trouble. It's like an anaconda. Is biting it not an option? No, it is. All options are on the table. Yeah.

I would say bite a chunk out of it. Yeah. Constrict it. Yeah. I don't know if you could bite through enough. Yeah. You could try. I mean, I definitely think you'd try it.

Obviously, you'd try anything. Yeah, these anacondas are... I think if it gets near you, you're done. I think we're going... Just get right with God. If we could win a fight with a bear, we're going back to... It's basically like,

all right, I technically could win a fight with a bear, but if I had to take a test and the bear had to take a test, I think I could pass the test. I agree with that. I was in, my sister used to work at the horticulture department in Auburn. What? At the horticulture department, they do like, I don't know, wildlife stuff, plants.

What's the word? Horticulture. Horticulture. Yeah. Okay. And I was a kid and I was wandering around in there and I went into this lady's office and she had this snake. I think it was a python. And she let me hold the snake.

And then I'm just hanging out holding the snake. And then she gets a phone call and goes into another room and I'm just holding the snake. Yeah. And then the snake keeps like almost like cocking its back. Like it's about to snap at me. And I was freaking out. And I remember kind of busting into this lady's office and just giving her the snake and running out of there. I do not do snakes. Yeah.

I mean, snakes are, that's the scariest to me. God cursed them. Yeah. It would, that, yeah. People are sometimes too relaxed with giving someone a snake when they're used to being around snakes and they kind of hand them off like a little too loosey goosey. Snakes are so. There used to be this place we used to go to.

They called it Ripville, but it was a creek that you would go. You would go. I mean, my dad lived way out in the country, but you had to go further out in the country to get to this little creek. And we would go out there and, you know, the creek was crystal clear and it had this like waterfall, but the waterfall was all rock and it was real slick. So you could slide down this. It was like a big, like nature water slide. And then when you got down into the bottom, it was a little pool. And then they had a rope that you could climb and walk up the rock. And I went, and I was always like ready to get in.

I mean, I wanted to be the first one in there. And I slid down this thing and I swam over to the rope and there was a snake wrapped around the rope. And I was like, to the rope, and there was a snake wrapped around the rope. Oh, wow. And I was like, oh, no. Yeah. You know? Wow. Because I'm like, you know, I'd seen the movie Lonesome Dove. And I don't know if you've seen that, but there's a scene where a guy falls off the horse and gets eaten up by all these water moccasins.

Yeah. Oh, I haven't seen that. What's that about? It's a great Western series. Oh. Well, it's an old movie. And Robert Duvall, Tommy Lee Jones. It's great.

Yeah. So I go, I'm trying to get away from it. And my friend throws a rock at the snake, which I thought for sure was going to send him my way. And it swam the other way. And it was like, I mean, yeah, Chambers County. And it was so great that I got away. And then we swam off there the rest of the day.

We didn't even. It didn't bother you. We're just going to get some old footage from Dusty's. There he is. Wow, this is amazing. I had no idea this existed. Yeah, there's some footage from the 1960s. Ripville, Chambers County, Alabama.

I was out there in the 90s. Yeah, same look. It probably looks the same. Yeah, Ripville. Chambers County, Alabama. I was out there in the 90s. Yeah, same look. It probably looks the same. Yeah, Ripville. Same look, same mindset. Yeah, there it is. Oh, man. That's amazing.

That's pretty great. There you go. That's big. Yeah. Wolf attack. Oh. If a wolf attacks you, you should avoid showing your teeth. Why?

They see that as a threat, like you're growling at them. Well, it's already an attack. It's a Joe Zimmerman joke. Well. He talks about it. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I should say a wolf encounter.

Excuse me. Oh, okay. A wolf encounter. Avoid showing your teeth. Lower your head and bow slightly. The wolf will see this as a submissive and non-threatening behavior. So they're a breeze to get around. He go ahead it says head for a fire wolves hate fire and smoky campfire will discourage a wolf from coming near you you gotta find a fire or a solo

stove you're in trouble yeah i don't even find a fire. You have to find a fire quick. Yeah. Wait a second. Can I make a fire real quick? Hold on. Hold on. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Wolves. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't even. Yeah. I mean, I get nervous around people's dogs that are nice. Yeah. I mean, so. And dogs are just wolves. Yeah.

At the end of the day. Yeah. Says. The last thing I want is to fight a wolf some biologists recommend making it you cut it dog's a wolf now there was a guy there was a guy in 2005 who got a wolf in a headlock and held him down before a group of co-workers showed up to help chase him away the guy they like the wolf better fred's annoying wait i missed it i was watching footage of ripville there was a 2005 a guy in

canada got attacked by a wolf and he got the wolf in a headlock and he held him down in a headlock before his co-workers showed up and helped chase i I assume, the wolf away. Oh, yeah. Not the guy. And some biologists say, make a fist with your hand and shove it down the wolf's throat to prevent it from biting you. Oh, yeah. Well.

It should be easy, right? I mean, you gotta, yeah. I mean, I guess somebody. Shove your fist down the throat. Somebody probably tried to punch a wolf. Yeah, it's not bad. Like just, think about that with a bear. Like if it's like he's biting your arm.

Go all the way in. And he's going to be like, ugh. My buddy told me. It's like going to the dentist. He doesn't, ugh. He gags and he's like. And the wolf's like, what's wrong with you, dude? No, don't do that.

Oh, dude. You're not supposed to enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah, my buddy told me if a dog attacks you, punch it in the nose. Dogs hate that. And I was like, oh, dude. You're not supposed to enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah, my buddy told me if a dog attacks you, punch it in the nose. Dogs hate that. And I was like, oh, yeah. But like anything loves it, you know what I mean? I know.

Mm-hmm. Well, they always say that about sharks. Punch a shark in the nose, but. Tough to punch in the water. Slow. Yeah. Yeah. This says it's better to punch them in.

He saw it coming. This says it's better to punch them in the gills. Yeah. This says it's better to punch them in the gills. Yeah. Because that's their soft spot. And they can smell blood or pee from a mile away. So try not to do either of those in the ocean. I thought they told you to pee yourself. That's the only reason I get in the ocean.

Yeah. To scare them off? To pee yourself. That's the only reason I get in the ocean. Yeah. To scare them off? To pee and bleed? Yeah. You never heard that? I haven't. You never heard to pee yourself if a shark comes? Uh-uh. I think that's just what you do.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Henry Cho has a joke about that, but. I've never heard that. Oh, that's one of the, I thought that was common knowledge. I mean, it's wrong, apparently. We would go to the beach and drink all day, and then when we needed to pee,

we'd go out and get in the water for a little bit. It says women who are menstruating should stay on the beach. So, no. That's good advice. I think that's good advice for swimming altogether. Yeah. Don't pee in the water either, but... Yeah, yeah.

I think we're all doing it yeah it is i was in a i went to a public pool at a hotel yeah recently i was just thinking about that the whole time there's probably so much pee in this if there's kids in the pool i don't even get in there but but it's the corings for right at what point do you stop caring and my whole life if the pool were as big as this if you care if somebody pees in a hot tub and you're sitting in the hot tub doesn't that feel weird to you uh i out of all the things i get weirded out by i don't i mean it feels weird if you were like yeah if you talked about it you break it down i'm sitting in a small tub with a stranger's pee all over uh i think there's a lot of stuff that you do with a lot of but what if your friends even weirder somehow yeah you prefer

strangers hot tub with a stranger is weird pee or no i was in a hotel hot tub one time just by myself hanging out having a good time and then a guy comes yeah and i think well he's not gonna get in because that'd be weird and then he got in yeah how long did you sit there with i had to stay long enough to make it seem like i didn't get out because he got in right but i got out pretty quick i you it is tough like if i go to the if you're gonna go to the hot tub at a hotel if someone's in it it's the rules you're out we were in one uh somewhere and there's like three or four there's a big hot tub but this dude came and got in too with us and uh and there was like three or four of us together so that's usually enough to ward off people just because out of the pure like i'm not going to see

these bunch of dudes hanging out uh and this guy i mean did not care came in some men have a very loose like like you know you go to the men's bathroom like the uh you know just releasing gas from the like they act just yeah like some of you like i mean you're, just releasing gas from the, like they act. Oh, just, yeah. Like some of you, like, I mean, you're all not, any of you, like they're real just wild animals that you want to go in and go, could we, let's tighten up a little bit. Like that's, it's not, don't act, you know. Just like standing at the urinal, just letting it rip. Yeah.

And I mean, look, I get sometimes it's accidental. I get, I understand the whole logic is behind the whole system. But some of them, like these dudes, they act like finally get a break. You're like, even if it was me and you hanging, I would want you to calm it down. What do you think I enjoy? People you know, you guys go to the bathroom and they're like, oh, yeah. But it's like you go to a sporting event, you walk in the bathroom, it looks like it's neanderthals

neanderthals as i said but they go in there and you want to go like hey man like i i still don't it's not like we're like i'm finally dudes get to hang out together you're like chill it out like totally go to the family restroom yeah i'm going to stall sporting events where the stalls had no doors on them oh yeah so there's just dudes in there just i mean i get it i get it you gotta go you gotta go but it's yeah and that why does the venue not put up some doors it's like have some respect for us as ticket buyers well though but the people that would use those have no they just don't care i mean they just don't care. I mean, they just don't. There's no concept of, you know, older people, I understand.

I think the older, it's hard. They almost don't even know what's happening. But, like, when it's the younger, like, you see some guys in there, and it's like a, you know, you're like, what are you doing, dude? Like, how? Yeah. Calm it down. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Calm it down. Totally.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I think. I mean, I've been to bathrooms at St. One, I think in Auburn a long time ago, it was like a round urinal where you all just stand around in a circle. At the football stadium? Yeah. Like a fountain in the middle?

Yeah, but what's like, you know, there's a thing in but then the stall the the urinal just goes all the way around so you're just like standing across from a guy just peeing there and the yeah so we uh eric or my barber and fitness trainer just took a picture that's not a urinal that's where people wash their hands dead serious he had a uh eric everybody was peeing in it when i was there yeah did you go first go look at instagram eric and his miller years ago huh this would have been years ago yeah yeah so he put he put something on this thing went super viral you know what it is eric eric uh yeah maybe eric ray miller uh and uh it went viral on his Instagram, on the Reels or something. Or, like, and it was, he said, he pointed and said,

these journals look weird in Canada. And it was like that. But it was, yeah. It's going to take a minute. Yeah, we're going to have to find it. But it's, and he posted it, and it we got to find it but it's and he and he posted it and it went uh and it went like super viral so i mean what if you were not using a like it was like a soap thing yeah i mean that could be possible i mean none of us were probably

interested in washing our hands yeah yeah i think there it is weird things in can. I mean, I've peed in quite a few things. Community urinals. Is this dusty? Is this what the urinal that you were peeing in is? Press play on that for Eric. What is it? Eric.Nash. EricRay.Nash. EricRay.Nash. I used to live in a two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment.

And when I used to drink, if I had to pee and my roommate was in the bathroom i would just sneak and pee in the kitchen sink yeah all the time that seems crazy so is that what you were using that thing right there let's see you see it in the back i feel like it was bigger but yeah maybe yeah so that but that's uh that thing that gets like millions and millions of views. Yeah. Like he did it as a real. 250,000 likes. Yeah.

The look you gave me when I said I would pee in the kitchen saying, I wouldn't pee on the dishes. You know, I'd aim for the drink. You wouldn't move the dishes out. You're a gentleman. Come on now. Yeah, so that's the other, because I don't think, yeah, you should have had

urinals like that yeah that could have been it i mean we could have just well those old especially sec football stadiums did you always think it was weird when you washed your hands that you had you're like why do i got to put my hand against the sink wall to wash it yeah yeah it's a urinal just turn over you go to these urinals you're're like, I'll tell you what, those urinals, that bathroom's very strange. Urinals, you're facing everybody, and then you go wash your hands, and it's a very large sink, and you go wash your hands over there, and you have to rub the sink to get the water. Have y'all ever seen something like that?

There's no soap. There's no soap? You know where they put the soap? In the bottom. At the urinal. At the bottom. Yeah. You have to walk away from it to get the water going.

You got to go walk away. You got to go, excuse me. Guy's peeing. You got to go, excuse me. Do you mind if I get some soap? What are you then peeing? They have soap. You maybe fill it up there.

Yeah. There have been cases of them cutting sharks open and finding human. Animal attacks. Human remains. We attack. Human remains. We got so far off. I know. You freak out every time. Yeah.

Finding human remains in sharks. And you remember, did you guys ever see the movie Open Water? Yeah. That's based on a true story. Yeah. About a couple from US and they were in Australia scuba diving and they miscounted the number of scuba divers. So when they came up, boat was gone. Yeah. And they were in Australia scuba diving, and they miscounted the number of scuba divers. So when they came up, the boat was gone, and they died out at sea.

Well, they don't know what happened to them. They never found them. So they miscounted and just said- But some people thought they faked their death. Oh, really? Yeah. They went to court and sued this tour company, and the tour company was like, how do we know they didn't fake their death?

The guy had written something in his journal about some weird stuff but um but they lost the case i mean uh the tour company did lose the case and they've had to change their way of so wait did they win did someone get money i think the family of the victims yeah yeah the tour company yeah that's a good you're like in court you you miscounted, and you're like, I think they faked their death, honestly. I mean, yeah, we left them, but they did. There's no body. Yeah, they faked their death. Why did I hear a jet ski coming up?

Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Just sitting right when he leaves. Y'all go down. Don't come back up. I'll drive out. I'll get you. We'll sue this company. Y'all swear y'all gonna be in the same spot? He dropped y'all. They don Don't come back up. I'll drive out. I'll get you. We'll sue this company. Y'all swear y'all gonna be in the same spot he dropped y'all?

They don't know how oceans work. I went back and looked. They weren't there where they said they were gonna be. And among apes, chimpanzees are much meaner than gorillas. That was the Boo Weekly story. That was orangutan. Oh, orangutan. He fought, but chimpanzees will just, you know, they'll rip your face off.

Eat your fingers, they say. They'll eat your fingers, so they said, hide your fingers. There was a chimp named, they called him Saddam, and he terrorized a village in Uganda, was grabbing kids and taking them away and killed like two kids and attacked seven others. Wow. When was that? In the 90s, mid-90s, it says.

Yeah, I mean, people loved it. They used to love to try to get monkeys as pets, and then you would see these videos of when animals attack, and monkeys would just eat them up. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. They're four times stronger than humans.

Monkeys seem the hardest to fight did you know the the gorilla was thought to be like bigfoot until the early 1900s yeah i did hear that yeah yeah that's why i'm saying if you didn't know that the gorilla was a real animal until the 1900s who knows what else is out there yeah what if it is the bigfoot it might be and then it's like we just called a gorilla and you're like, no, it's here. Because it could be like, well, they're not out there. And you're like, oh, you're seeing them all the time. And then you're like, yeah, do they figure it out?

There's been a couple of cases of children falling in a zoo entrapment with a gorilla. And they've had to euthanize the gorilla. Yeah, Harambe. Harambe was the most yeah well-known one and it was dragging the kid around is that the one that's also holding it like a baby i think so at one point yeah so they weren't sure what its intentions were but obviously they had a they had a kid well people got very upset that they killed it but euthanasia always sounds sounds pleasant yeah yeah it's not it's a good tough one what do you mean? The word sounds like it's a pleasant thing?

I always think euthanasia is what I think. But then, yeah, like they go, we got a euthanize. What do they say? Euthanize? Euthanize or euthanasia. They say it and you're like, oh, that's good. And then it's like, oh, no, no, no, it's not good. You're like, why?

What happened? Are you going to go hiking in Oregon? Yeah, yeah i think so we haven't looked it up so bigfoot you gotta watch out for bigfoots there oh that's the big sighting that's the number two state next to washington as far as bigfoot all right they also say there's like a lot of caves in oregon like uh there's some caves you can visit that they say used to be used for, I don't know, trafficking. You know what I mean? What kind of trafficking? I don't remember the full thing now.

I read it while I was in Portland. They were like, you should go check this out. And then I never did, but I remember reading about it. They had some caves in Portland. Yeah. Pretty famous that you can go tour. Okay. I think they used to.

People were doing bad things in them. I don't know if it were bad, but they were transporting people for whatever reason. Oh, sounds bad. Yeah. It doesn't sound good. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, probably not. Yeah.

Anytime you're transporting people, probably not good. Yeah, yeah. Probably not good intentions behind it. Yeah. Probably, like you say, the heart's not in it. The heart's not in it. Yeah. No, the heart's in it at the beginning but then it it gets slips

yeah the purpose yeah their social credit score got low yeah yeah yeah very low they're like you gotta take the caves now yeah i'll go check those caves out i guess yeah yeah yeah i think uh tennessee's supposed to have a lot of caves too the most caves is any state yeah we learned that on the that's right yeah okay wow because. Because Kentucky's always bragging about theirs. I know. And they barely have any. You have one. There's some caves near my land.

It's a mammoth cave, though. It's a big one. It's pretty big. Yeah. There's some caves near my land out there that you can go. Some caverns that you can go look at. Oh, really? I've not been there, but.

Are they like, oh, like it's like tours go there or something? Yeah. Yeah, you're not far from Fall Creek Falls. I think that's what it is. Okay. Oh, that's like a go there or something yeah concerts there you're not far from Fall Creek Falls I think that's what it is okay that's like a main thing yeah it's like

you said it like maybe that's not it my house is a place that's got some animals yeah yeah where is it the zoo Nashville Zoo

they have a bunch of animals over there you talking about the regular zoo dude because that's yeah right by me dude there's a pool what is it it's a lake

it's a lake over there people fishing it are you talking about the lake we all live near dude I guess Fall Creek Falls I don't know if that's what it is now but you know there's a sign for it you know it's not

it's not a hidden thing well i thought it sounded like a hidden it sounded like yeah yeah we got this hidden treasure there is a little cave-like structure on my land yeah there is yeah that there's a little dirt pile that i kind of want to dig out to see if there's a door in there i don't think there is yeah i want to dig it out just see what's going on walk around this park every night oh yeah nice little park yeah yelston uh oh the main big park oh yeah yeah the main yeah you've heard of it you've heard it yeah i know this ditch out in arizona yeah yeah yeah huge huge ditch really you don't want to get in oh can you get in get in it? It's hard. You got to hike down. It's the Grand Canyon. Some people think there are pyramids out at the Grand Canyon.

Do they? Yeah. Who thinks this? A lot of people think that, that there's pyramids out there. We could go there. It's not like it's. I'm just saying. Where?

Down in the bottom of the canyon? Yeah. Yeah. All right. It's going to come up. Yeah. Why would they? Yeah. Who? Oh right. It's going to come up. Yeah. Why would they be? Yeah.

Who? Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, some of the rock formations. Look like triangles. A triangle? Looks like a pyramid to me. They say some people believe that the water level was much higher at some point.

Well, yeah. Well, yeah. That's what caused. Well, that's what they say. This river over millions of years carved through the rocks. You know, but my question is, why have not all the rivers

carved Grand Canyons then? You know what I mean? Because it's like... Only just the one, the Mississippi River, not carved any canyons? It's not low enough yet. Yeah.

Oh, it's already at the bottom is what you're saying. Well, yeah. I mean, it's just like... Well, oh it's already at the bottom is what you're saying well yeah i mean it's just like yeah they had a much bigger river the grand canyon bigger than the mississippi river well apparently they carved i just don't believe it yeah i don't believe it yeah yeah i get it you know what i mean yeah what's it car you know yeah where did that water go we got one river that's carved all this time you know yeah this is not the go we got one river that's carved all this time you know yeah this is not the only place where erosion has happened in the world though yeah but to that

extent but like that's why it's the green but there is a creek at the bottom but would it not be grand river at the bottom even if it didn't carve it even if it were just naturally formed that way it would still be grand oh of course, I don't think you'd put it together. But the selling point is that. Right. Yeah, if it was like, hey, there's never been a river here, you'd be like, I don't know if I'm going to waste my time. But if you go, there's a river here.

But I think just the depth of it is like worth seeing. Of course. Even if it happened in one day. Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah. Still special. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah. Still special. Yeah. Yeah.

Still grand. Yeah, totally. All that water came out. Look at that pyramid right there. Yeah. That's where the- Just saying, think about it. That's where the water would have been to that point.

Yeah. And then, you know, Phoenix is in Arizona, near that. And then you have like Phoenicia is Egypt, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? That's all. There's some dots connected.

So you think Egyptians built that? Well, you know, maybe all in this- They flew over. Yeah. I mean, it's not my theory. You know what I mean? I didn't come up with it. I read something about it a long time ago. You're to it yeah yeah uh that's it so i like everything

like i this is not my thing i'm just a part of this group and we're we're exploring you just gotta look into it you know i like it i can't be the sole source for this material that's true i like i've never heard of this it's fun yeah it Yeah. It's fun. It's super fun. And I, I like it. Yeah. I mean, there could be, they say, some people say there's caves out there that we don't know about and who knows what's going on. There's like all these underground highways, um, you know, um, so, and they exist. It's not even hidden. The highways. We're just not allowed to drive on them. Oh, really? Yeah. There's like highways trucks can go, enter in, and just drive. And those are out there, too.

Where are those at? I don't know. Where there's mountains. But when you say trucks, any truck driver could do it? I don't know if it's any truck driver, if you're specifically on that route. It's one with, it's hard, it's not the right place. Yes. I mean, who knows what's going on there. Okay. but there's plenty of videos out there about it but look at

this what is that who knows ancient pyramids of arizona that is crazy well that's windows i think that's where the pueblo pueblo indians built right after they built their pyramids yeah oh they yeah they built their hut there. And then that's a lot to build on a rock cliff. Yeah. Cliff dwellers. Yeah, it is. That's what they were? Cliff, yeah.

I think that's what, there are a group of Native Americans called cliff dwellers, and they would build stuff like that on the side of cliffs. Oh. Oh. Think about it. Yeah, think about it. You know what I mean? Who are those cliff dwellers?

Yeah, exactly. You know what were they up to? What were they to did they build pyramids did they drive a truck yeah they could have they could be driving trucks now you ever see people you go how'd you beat me here everybody has someone that they go how did you beat me right yeah maybe they're driving through the map that could be it a lot lot quicker. Tennessee has the most caves. You got to have a highway. You got to have a highway underneath there. Actually, where I'm buying, where I'm getting the cabin from in Tennessee, out towards Memphis,

I don't know what, but on the way back on this back road, there is a little cat. Now, it's got a fence around it, so you can't get up in there, but there's a cabin with a huge, or a mountain with a huge dugout thing where clearly people are going in there with cars i don't know maybe they're mining but it's huge you should check it out the gate was open last time and hannah would not let me go in there i wanted to check it out yeah Yeah. We didn't, but I really want to just go like, oh, what's going on here? You know,

just... Get out of here. Yeah. What are you doing? I just want to play real country. Just be like, well,

I was just driving through and... I thought, well, come up here, go fix this door. Yeah. Barry Sanders.

Yes, Barry Sanders. Barry Sanders. Is Barry Sanders a... Yeah, that's a yak drunk. Barry Sanders is the best Barry Sanders could be. Is Barry Sanders a yak? That's a yak drunk? Barry Sanders is the best player that ever existed. New York Jets.

He could tackle a bear, though, Barry Sanders. Yeah. I mean, dude's a lion already, you know what I mean? Yeah. All right, now. Come on, now. That was nice. Is that it?

Yeah. That's it. All right. All right. We, I will, if you listen to this, so I was told this day, we will be, if you listen to this, next week, we are off. We are going on vacation with my family. I didn't know we were going to be off. I found all this out today.

And, but we are, we got a new best of that Bates has put together. Year two. Year two of best of. Nice. And so we're going to release the year two of best of. And so you got something to see. And then we'll be back the week after that, back from a vacation. It'll be great.

Or wherever, whatever you guys are doing everybody's probably on the road or doing stuff and I'll be in Hawaii do shows in Hawaii come check those out and then uh yeah

and then August uh back out and then we'll be back and running uh and y'all have stuff July 31st

I'm in Fort Mill South Carolina uh at um Life Point Church doing a show for adoption to help families with adoption expenses there. Nice.

Yep. I'm in Phoenix, Arizona, CB Live. Then I'm at the Dania Improv in Dania Beach, Florida. And then Arlington Draft House in Arlington, Virginia, August 12th and 13th. Based on how I think this is coming out, I'll be at the Toledo Funny Bone, and then the next week the Pittsburgh Improv. There you go. It's going to be great.

It's going to be great. Thank you. We love you as always. Look, don't... Do whatever you want when you get with a bear. Don't come here for... Always remember. Do what you think they tell you to do but it's a lot more fun to talk about running from a bear always remember that and i'd still

maybe run from it uh all right we love you we'll see you next week uh see you best of next week week after that hope you guys are having a great summer. See you soon. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the nateland podcast