The Nateland Podcast - 11: #11 | Taxes with Andrew Stanley

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

This week, comedian Andrew Stanley joins the guys to discuss whether Dusty really has a new baby, whether the moon missions really happened, and whether taxes are good or bad for America. Rocket Money- Rocketmoney.com/nateRocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Try for $0 at  at RocketMoney.com/NATE . Warby Parker- WarbyParker.com/NATELANDOur listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/NATELAND— and using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #adIQBAR- Text PUBLIC to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Betterhelp.com/NATE.  When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at Betterhelp/com/NATE.

This message comes from Capital One Commercial Bank. Your business requires commercial banking solutions that prioritize your long-term success. With Capital One, get a full suite of financial products and services tailored to meet your needs today and goals for tomorrow. Learn more at Capital One.com slash Commercial, member FDIC. All right, welcome. Ladies and gentlemen, to the Public Figures Podcast. I'm Dusty Slee and I'm one of your host today. It's going to be an exciting episode.

We got, as always, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and us, oh, sorry, I didn't mean to, and then a special guest, Andrew Stanley. All right, wow. Oh, clapping for me. Thank you, thank you. I like to give a big intro. I appreciate that. You said their name's So Normal and then I got a little special, a special.

special one. No credits or facts about them, though, in the intro. Well, we're going to bring all that in. My name speaks for itself. Everybody knows. They've been clamoring for me. Needs no introduction. What's the worst way you've been brought on stage, Andrew? It happened recently. I did a corporate gig for the old company I used to work for for their leadership, to tell you a little bit how well I was doing at the company. Not a lot of the leadership knew that I had worked there. And the CEO got on stage and just goes, and now one of our former budget analysts, Andrew Stanley, didn't mention comedy or anything. So I had to go up and give a little biography about myself. You had to explain what you were doing there. I am not here to review the budgets.

I am here to talk about mostly myself. I feel like that would have been a great opportunity for you to just kind of mail it, phone it in, and just talk about the budget. Talk about the budget. Guys, things are not looking good. And then about 15 minutes into budget talk, start doing jokes. And then it would have blew their mind. They would go, what's the budget guy doing?

Our budget guy is actually kind of funny. Yeah, yeah. The bar is low. If they think you're going to talk about budget. Exactly. If they think you're a comic, you really got to work hard. But if they think you're a budget analyst. Look at this guy.

Wow. He also introduced me, and it was this very big convention center. And the introduction took, I think, seven seconds. And I was in the back of the room and he started it. So I started walking because I was like, like this will probably be a few minutes. And so I realized that he's introduced to you and I am sprinting to stage. Oh, yeah. Which is not a great way to enter stage. What's up, guys? The budget analyst is so out of breath.

Yeah, our budget analyst was late. I'm just crunching the numbers. They're not good. It's not good, guys. It's like if you're ever like in church and you're watching a preacher and he does a joke that gets a huge laugh and I go, that's not that funny. I'm like judging him because I'm like, come on, buddy. Exactly. You think you're funny? You know, musicians get that too. Yeah.

Musician will make a little joke. I love to watch a musician bomb a joke. Yeah, they're tuning their guitar between songs and they're like, man, the D string's a little hard or something. Yeah. That was pretty funny. I didn't mean to say it. A little inside musician talk for everybody. That's not what I meant.

You get it. Yeah, sorry about that, everybody. I did a show for the company I used to work for. years ago and the guy introduced him, he goes, you know, he used to work here, but he decided, you know, to concentrate full time on stand up and move on to greener pastures. And I had to get up there and go, I was fired from here. You spun this like, I graduated out of the company. I was fired.

That must feel good to go back, get hired by a company you were fired from to tell jokes. Do you think it felt better than going, no, I don't need this money. I'm not going to do this gig. Oh, yeah. That's pretty true. But I didn't. I needed it. But you were invited back to someone who had rejected you.

Over Zoom. But yeah. Over Zoom. They were like, we fired this guy because he wasn't good at his job, but he's going to entertain us. Legally, we can't let someone we fired back in the building. They have to have a security guard next to him the whole time. Now, did your dad, and we need to get into a little bit about you, but your dad and granddad have some go-to jokes that you would steal years?

I never heard my granddad tell a joke. I don't think it ever. I appreciate that. I did ask him one time. He was probably like 90th time. And I was like, do you ever use like jokes and sermons? And he was just like, no, it's nothing funny about what I'm doing. Yeah.

And I was like, cool, cool answer. That's why I always liked your grandmother. He's like, we don't have time for that. There's urgent business to tell people about it. My dad's joking all time. So probably not good for those of us to attend his church. We're not learning anything. But we have a nice time.

Yeah. My dad is funny. I do think my dad's fun. My parents are both pretty funny. Well, for those of you don't know, your parents, your dad is, I don't know your mom, but your dad is Andy Stanley. He's like, you didn't do your research to find out my mom's first name, Brian? Mrs. Stanley.

Mrs. Stanley's also fun. Is it Sandra? Sandra. Sandra. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Your dad's Andy Stanley.

Yeah. Your grandfather. Suddenly, it took a turn. Dr. Charles. He's a lot about your mom. Yeah, actually, yeah, she's got some books. That's what happens with your preacher's wife.

All of a sudden, you get to have a book. Does she still live at 318, Meadow Lane? Take it some shots. That's your parents. Yeah, dad and granddad,

both well-known pastors. Yeah. Have you read your mom's book? Yeah, because my mom and dad wrote a book together about parenting. Oh.

So I had to do some fact-checking. Oh, yeah. Yeah. After it was already published. They did kind of let us read it once. By the way, this is done. So wait for your feedback. nothing's really changing.

They, we did do, like, they were doing a rollout for this, like, parenting book. And I don't know if I'm supposed to talk about this, but they had, they wanted to, like, shoot for promo, like, a family dinner of our family. So, like, this crew came to our house. We all came into town and, like, sat around the family dinner table. And you all just do like you would normally do. And this would be, like, a fun promo. And it was, like, so boring.

I don't think they used it. Oh. We were just, like, just talking. Like, we can't talk about anything. Like, no one's going to understand anything. But then my parents started asking. asking us questions about like, did you like it when we parented you this way? And it was like one of the

main themes of the book. And we were all just kind of like, actually, we didn't really like that. And I don't think that, I think that was bad. Yeah, that actually harmed me irreparably. Like, they asked my sister specifically, like my dad, we had to rule at our house where my brother and I were not allowed to sit down at the dinner table until the women were seated. So we had to stand by our chairs and wait for my mom, my sister, to sit down

first to like that, show them honor. Yeah. And that was our rule forever. Like, still when we go home, Like my brother and I look at each other, like, we're going to stand? All right, we'll go stand. Do you stand up when a lady leaves the table, too? We were not that, no, we'd never great way. I think my parents were just like, this is about all they can handle. They wouldn't let him live.

It's like the wild west. We can't give them too much to try to remember. But they asked my sister in this video, they go to, Allie, like, how did that make you feel when you'd see your brother standing for you waiting for you to sit to show you on her? And she was like, honestly, just made me really uncomfortable, and I don't like it. Wow. And my parents were like, all right, cut that. But see, those of us who grew up without that, I'd be like, oh, yeah, that'd be cool.

That would be cool. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it is funny to look back on things that your parents do. Like, my dad was, like, watching these really violent movies with my little daughter, my daughter in the room. And she was, like, scared. And I was like, she doesn't like this. He goes, oh, she's fine.

He goes, you used to watch them, you know, and I go, yeah, I'm messed up. It had its effect. I have a good example for my argument. Well, your dad famously comes on after Saturday Night Live in a lot of markets, TV markets. Yeah, for a while it was most of them. I don't know what it is now. Trying to clean this world up. Yeah. Yeah. People would send me a lot of photos of him preaching in bars because they'd had Saturday Live on them. Before they knew it, all of a sudden, it's a preacher.

Oh, yeah. So a lot of drunk people would text me pictures of my dad. It's pretty fun. One night I fell asleep on the couch and your dad was on. And when I woke up the next morning, your granddad was on. I was like, how long did I sleep? Yeah. Yeah, what a weird,

what a weird night? What did you dream about? Like, this guy's aged. Yeah. A little family reunion, if you're not careful. Yeah, my granddad scares me. He's gone now, but every now and then he'll like,

pretty weird for your dead granddad just show up on your TV without you being ready for it. It's like emotional and scary at the same time. I've been walking through the Nashville airport and like Twitsies that will have your granddad on Sunday morning. It is fun.

People will send me now, because I've encouraged it, they'll send me photos of him on at, like, airport bars. People just having a party and above them, just a TV with good old Dr. Charles. No sound on probably. So they're not even getting it. They're not really. I don't know if he needed sound. If you look him in the eyes when he's preaching on TV, you know what he's about. You do receive something.

It's pretty intense. Obey God and leave all the consequences to him. Yeah. Was that a saying? That was his catchphrase. Oh, okay. Yeah. Really?

Pretty good. Obey God, leave all the consequences to him. It's pretty good. Yeah. You don't want to follow? It's no we're having a good time. No, no, no, no. Well, I may take it.

I've been known to take a phrase. Have you been stealing? I'm not in the loop. Have you been stealing a phrase? Yeah, well, we had to talk about it. Obey God. Leave all the consequences to him. That's what I'm going to start ending my shows like that.

I think that'd be great. Just no follow-up or explanation. People are just like, all right, amen, let's go home. They get the sober up real quick at the end of the show. You good to drive? Well, we talked about me taking basic everyday phrases and make them my own. Sure. And Aaron has to say those things.

And Aaron hasn't. Well, other than we're having a good time, what else have you? Well, all right. Just the word. That's mine. And then waving. You have your own delivery. Yeah, yeah.

All right. You got to hold the eye. Yeah. Hold the eye. That's his too. Hold the eye. I'm legally not allowed to say hold the eye. Hold the eye.

That's a new one. That's coming out soon. Yeah, okay, good. Hold the eye. I was telling the story the other day. I think I was at the show with you when the wave got invented. Oh, yeah. At.

Eastern. Not at the Easter room. Well, maybe it was birth there, but I would say it came into fruition. at Illinois at that Decatur Illinois

Decatur Illinois The main hangar At the main hangar It was an Italian restaurant in an airport And the green room was Concours A

Yeah And we were hanging out there And I think There was a moment In your set You just weren't You weren't connecting with them It wasn't the hottest room

All this time Yeah it was tough When I was hearing About the setup I was like It's gonna be a great show It was okay And Dusty

was waved he waved and it got nothing and he goes you don't want to go too high it looks like you're asking a question you don't want to go too low and then he like scans the room with his hand and he like locks in on this person not laughing and goes gotcha did they respond to that i mean i responded to it i was howling laughing at the back and in that moment does these you know i'm going to do this for the rest of my life i think so Yeah. Those, those gigs are how you become good at comedy, where you're like, nothing's working. Yeah. And you're like, I'm up here for an hour. This is how long ago that was. I remember you were like, can you please at least do 20?

Wow. Because we had to do an hour and a half. I mean, an hour and 10 at that time, you were not that long. There was a host, too, probably. So they're probably doing somebody doing 10. No, but I think it was the guy. Remember, the host was just the guy who made the crowd do a pledge. Do you remember this? The Pledge of Allegiance. He made everyone go, repeat after me. That's where he gets up the hand. I pledge to laugh at jokes or something.

It was like that. And he, this was an Italian restaurant. And then after the show, the owner of the Italian restaurant told us that he wanted to take us to a place to get the best pizza in town. We went to another Italian restaurant. And then he made fun of me because I didn't want meat on my pizza. Yeah. Why didn't you want meat on your pizza? Well, because it's all pork.

If there was some beef, I would have taken. But I just, you know, I just wanted some green peppers and peppers and mushrooms. And the guy was like, oh, can we get this, can we get this loser up there? Survey came over and he's all got a pepperoni pizza. Like, we get this freaking guy, green peppers? Yeah. Like laughing at him. Yeah, I liked that guy, though.

Yeah, I liked him too. I hope he's doing well. Yeah. At a restaurant closed down. It did. Okay. All right. Have you ever checked your bank statement and real,

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Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Try it for $0 at RocketMoney.com slash Nate. That's rocketmoney.com slash Nate. Rocket money.com slash Nate. Can I share some Nate Land News of you guys? I would love it. Yeah. All right.

Nate Land presents the showcase season four. It's going on now. Last week we had Elon Stribbling on. And this Thursday is 7 o'clock. We've got Peter Wong. I love Peter. I know Peter. He's awesome.

Peter Wong. He opens for Stephen Rogers a lot. Now, he was... He was funny, nice guy. He lives in New York City. It was when the big Blizzard hit New York, the week they were taping here, and all the flights were canceled. He dug his car out and drove 15 hours from New York City.

to Nashville. Whoa. So you gotta watch it. So the least you can do. Yeah, just tune in. Wow. That's hard work. That's what I'm talking about.

It's amazing, man. A lesser man would be like, I can't make it. Yeah. But he did it. Can you put me on next week? No. Peter drove down here. That's what I'm talking about.

Nate Land presents Graham K's Pete and Me. A non-depressing look at family and autism. April is National Autism Acceptance Month. The trailer drops to death. Oh, okay. Premiers this Friday, April 17th. And Graham will be joining us later this month on Public Figures, apparently. It's news to me.

Well, he's coming. That's how it happens. Yeah. If you're wondering how you get booked on this show. No, Graham's great. Yeah, we don't want to do on Andrew, but he's here, so. Yep, I can't get Graham. I'm just the four-hour drive away.

Nate Land produced Stephen I can't read Derek Stroop's Netflix special nostalgic it's out now How do you get Stephen from Derek? I don't know I don't know Yeah I guess wow You just started reading Strupe first

Just took the ass Yeah Yeah from jump to a wild conclusion Steven Strupe is a better name Steven Strupe Steven Strupe that's got a good sound to it Yeah Let's talk to them about change his name

It's tough of you have a list Once you have the Netflix special I think you guys stick with the name, unfortunately. Yeah, you're locked in at that point, right? That's too bad. Anyway, maybe start from the beginning of that pitch. All right. Nate Land produced Derek Stroop's Netflix special,

Nostalgick, is out now. And Dusty's book, We're Having a Good Time, is on pre-order. Grab a copy anywhere you buy your books. All right. That's all it says in the book. I wonder what his second book will be called. It's one all right, just the entire book.

Yeah. You got to hold the eye. All right. Dot com. And Nate's big dumb eyes tour is in Canada this week. He's in Ottawa on Friday, London on Saturday, and Montreal on Sunday. Ottawa. How do you say that?

I think it's Ottawa, right? Ottawa, yeah, that's what I would say. But, I mean, you know, it doesn't. It doesn't matter that you said it that way. It's going to be in Ottawa. And you're like, yeah, it doesn't matter. Correct, it doesn't. I'm sure.

He's only sold 20,000 tickets. Yeah. I'm sure that pitch. We would have sold that if Brian had pronounced it correctly the week before. People are lost. They're driving around. They're trying to get to Ottawa. I had tickets.

I canceled them because it must be a different place than I thought. I thought it was Ottawa. Yeah. Refunds through the roof. Well, this weekend I was in Rochester, New York, or at least Friday I was. Sold out show. Two sold out shows. Yeah, okay.

Thanks to Matt Smelzer for setting that up. Great time. We had a fun trip. First time ever, I walked from the airport to my hotel. Wow. Really? What happened? I mapped it, and it was three-tenths of a mile.

And I'm like, am I really going to take an Uber if I could walk it? Yeah. I didn't take an Uber. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm like. like this is probably dumb because man exiting the airport on foot yeah that's pretty crazy it feels weird it seems is it legal i don't even know but you couldn't do it in most airports it's not a good look it feels like it's a guy walking around outside with a big rolling bag it's like flight's been grounded suspicious activity easier to walk tour

you brought us up i do like to stay by you i thought it was going to be a cool thing I thought it was going to be a cool thing. You three of all ridiculed me. It is cool. It's just a funny visual of you leaving the airport going. There's not, you know, there's signs in the airport like this way to Ronald cars, this way, the ground transportation, but there's never like, this way if you're going to walk across the highway to your hotel. Yeah, there's no guidance for that. Yeah. You got to find your own way.

Did you have to jaywalk at all or were there crosswalks the whole way? I was walking through this big parking lot. Rochester airport's pretty small, but the, I had a. parking lot and I thought, I know I'm going to get to the end of this and there's no way to exit here. You got to turn around. But there was an exit right there and I went right through. Got to one crosswalk. Wasn't it that hard. And you walked back in the morning? Nope. I had a really early flight and they drove me back. They were like, it's dangerous if the sun's not up.

It's a point three miles. It's a dangerous area. A lot can happen in point three miles, I'll tell you. This was a hotel where the person at the front desk does everything. So if you want to ride, they just put a sign up, so back in 10 minutes. Really? And they gave you a ride? They gave me a ride, yeah. Wow. Just in their personal vehicle?

No, it was a real. Shuttle thing. Shuttle thing. But, yeah, so anyway. The back in 10 minutes is a tough sign. You ever show up and you go, when did the 10 start? Yeah, when did you leave? Yeah.

It should be a countdown. Yeah, back at this amount of time. I did that at the mall one time. I went to the whatever the luggage store is, Samsonite. Yeah. And they had something like gone to lunch, be back. a half hour. And I was like, okay. And then I waited for a half hour. And they didn't come back. And I called the store. And they go, we're on lunch. And I go, well, you said a half hour.

And I've been out here for a half hour. When is lunch in? What kind of discount? Am I about that? Yeah. What do they do? And they can't, they just came and unlocked the door and let me in. But I was like, I got business to take care of here. I need luggage. That's false advertising. I go, you can keep eating. I don't care. But let me. Where were you out without luggage? Stranded? Do you break a suitcase? No, I broke. It, yeah. You have to take it into the store. I didn't break it.

The airport broke it. Okay. I bought brand new. About a brand new... It broke it first time? They broke it on the first time. Well, I know you had a very eventful weekend because I saw you post about it. Oh, yeah.

I had a wild one. I got invited to go to the Masters on Friday, which is very exciting. But I had a show Thursday night in Grand Rapids, Minnesota, which is not the main Grand Rapids. You don't hear that one a lot, no. I don't get scallops. You saw my stories. Yeah. They did have some nice, some nice, very risky scallops that worked out.

Yeah. Why were they risky? Just the guy that was given. Well, literally, I went to this restaurant before the show was like a fundraiser, but they didn't have dinner at it. So I was like, all right, I'm just going to eat before. And I went to like, I think I went to the nicest restaurant in Grand Rapids, Minnesota. Not to brag.

Yeah, put it out there, you know. I was, as the guy, I was like, what should I get? And he was like, I really like our scallop crudo. And I was like, great, I'll have that. And then when he brought it to me, he goes, man, I'm really glad you ordered this. A lot of people are too scared to order the scallets because, you know, we're in Grand Rapids, Minnesota, and, you know, people think it's not going to be fresh.

It might make them sick. And he's like, so I'm glad you weren't worried about that. And honestly, I just had not thought about it. You just told me that now I'm very worried about it. Yeah. But he'd already put it in front of me. That's not something you ever want a restaurant to say to you. Most people are scared.

They'll get sick from that. Yeah, but not you. But not you, the iron stomach. And I had them, and they were great. And I feel great. So I recommend Grand Rapids, Minnesota, for the scallops specifically. Nothing really wets the appetite like a little fear. Yeah, you really do pay attention to every bite.

You're not casually eating it with some attention. Do you think you're the first person ever in the history of the world to be in Atlanta and then Grand Rapids, Minnesota, and then Augusta in three consecutive days? You know, I think there's a good chance. chance. I bet not a lot of people go Atlanta, Minnesota, Augusta. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it's got to be the first guy. It's especially Grand Rapids, Minnesota. It's not great routing. What kind of show were you doing in Grand Rapids? It was a fundraiser for Youth for Christ. Okay. So there's plenty of people to pray for you after eating those scowlows.

And I needed to do this show. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I was like, they'll heal me if I need it. But yeah, I had to do the fundraiser because I had accidentally a few months before had done a fundraiser for youth against Christ by mistake. Try to balance it. So I need to cancel it out. The YAC? Yeah. Unfortunately, it went really well. We raised a lot of money against Christ.

Unfortunately, had a great set. Yeah. They really were into it. Donated a lot of money against it. So I had to try to catch up. Yeah. Old life. Did you do that joke at the Grand Rapids?

No, they didn't seem like that type of crowd. I think half of them would have been like, man, that's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy they have that. We got to find that group. reach them. Yeah. Yeah, and it was even weird that routing because I wore my master's hat on my flight to

Minnesota. So everybody in the Atlanta airport was like, oh, did you go to the Masters yesterday? And I was just like, no, I'm going tomorrow. And they were so confused because I'm getting on a flight to Minneapolis. Got to stop in Minnesota first. Yeah. But no. So much confusing.

You're like, I'm going to Grand Rapids, Minnesota. They're like, you mean Michigan? So much to talk about. Yeah. And I had just done the Youth for Christ. fundraiser in Grand Rapids, Michigan, like two weeks before. When I got the booking inquiry, I was like, they want me again already? I almost booked the wrong flight.

But in order to get to the Masters on time, I had to fly to Minneapolis, drive three hours to Grand Rapids, do the show, drive three hours back to Minneapolis the same night. Then I stayed at the hotel attached to the airport. They have intercontinental attached to the Minneapolis airport. And then I took 5.15 a.m. flight to Atlanta. and then I had a connecting flight direct to Augusta got delayed. And my friends I knew were flying private.

So I Uber to the airport and jumped on there. It was a long couple days there. It felt like a good ending. So in the end, did you find that watching golf was worth it? Boy, it was an exhilarating experience watching those guys hit that ball. Yeah. I'm not the biggest professional golf fan compared to a lot of people I know, but going to Augusta is, you could not like golf at all and have a great time. It's very cool.

Was that your first time there? I went one other time, but it rained the whole day I was there. It got shut down early. So it was my first real one. What made it so exciting? Well, you enter and it's just a big deal. You would like it because they take everybody's phones away. So you get to go a whole day with no phone.

The cool thing about the master's is, you can't buy tickets to it. You have to get invited or be a guest of a member there, right? Yeah, or you sign up for a lottery and like it's very rare. Like my brother submits for the lottery every year and it's like never gotten it. But I think once you get it, you get to keep it forever. It's almost like until someone dies that has it. It goes back in circulation. So it's like incredibly difficult to get to go there.

You can't go. You have to be, yeah. So guys that are into golf at all, it's like it's kind of like a once in a lifetime. You got to go and just the course looks perfect and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, the landscaping is like the nicest landscaping I could ever imagine. It's a, it's very cool. And the food's awesome. Like they talk about it a lot.

It's like $1.50 for the best Pomeno cheese sandwich you've ever had. It's like super cheap, the food for some reason. Yeah, it's all good. You would like, I think you would like the pageantry of it, if not the golf. Yeah. Could a person buy just a green jacket somewhere in the store and wear it there? I'm sure they wouldn't stop you, but it'd be a weird move. Yeah.

They definitely take everything very seriously. Like, if you break the rules, they will kick you out. Yeah. And you'll, I like that. And whoever's passes you are using, they'll take their passes away. So, like, the first time I went, I used, like, a friend's passes that he had. And he was like, if you get kicked out, I will kill you because I will lose my ability to go every year. Wow.

So you have to be very careful who you share with because they get you in big trouble. But, like, yeah, if you get caught peeing in a bush, they will have a hand on your shoulder before you finish. Oh, that's against the rules. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be tough for you. Dusty's out again. I'm for the rules, but I didn't know they were like that.

I think I saw in the one week or however many days that the Masters is open for the tournament, which is at least seven. It might be like 10 days where they practice rounds and par threes and stuff. But like I think they sell more merchandise that week than like the Atlanta Braves sells in a year. I believe it. They sell so much stuff because you can only buy Masters gear if you are physically there. It's the only place in the world you can get the stuff with the logo. So they move crazy amount of merch.

Wow. Well, I think we're going to put up a fight this weekend at Zaney. my shows. I'm going to try to sell some merch out there. I think we're going to break the record after the show. Come see me this weekend in Nashville, Tennessee as part of the Nashville Comedy Festival, April 17th and 18th. Those shows are moving. It's going to be fun. All right. I'll be there yesterday. And that'll be a good show. Sold out. It is sold out. April 14th. Yeah. The consumers, too. Yeah.

Were last night. Yeah. Did they sell out? Keeping out for that. Yeah, Aaron was on there. Aaron was on there. Okay. Wow.

Okay. All right. Cool. Well, I, can I throw out a conspiracy theory? Oh, please. Last week we talked about the topic was babies because Dusty just had a baby. Congratulations. Number two or three, three?

Come on. Fertile man. Yeah. And people commented, some people commented like, oh, why didn't we show a picture of the baby? And I just thought, I don't know. Dusty's private. Then I went over to visit Dusty, took him some food. My daughter and I went over there because, you know, they just had a baby.

And I'm like, oh, where's the baby? And they're like, oh, well, he's asleep. I'm like, oh, okay. Nobody was checking a monitor. Everybody was just loungy, have a good time. Is it possible, Dusty lied about having a baby? Nobody's seen it. People were bringing him food.

I mean, isn't it a little weird? Dussie, I need a new reason to get out of stuff. Come on, right. I'm just saying. That's what I read. I really didn't take you for a conspiracy guy, Brian. I think this is below you. You know, they say,

below you. I'm just, just what I see on TikTok. So the incentive would be the food that he's getting? I guess. I don't know, who knows how these people work. Brian brought me some sandwiches.

Yeah. You know, so that worked out. It was pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Something to keep an eye on for sure. Yeah,

I'm just saying. Nobody's seen this baby, supposedly. and even if I did post a picture, does that mean it's mine? Exactly. We were talking about this. Any baby kind of looks like it's no way to know. We were talking about this last night.

When you do private gigs and stuff, do you have a writer? Andrew, do you have stuff that you ask for, even if it's just like basic drinks and stuff like that? If they ask, I'll say water, Coke, Zero, like, I just say healthy snacks. Whatever, right? Yeah. So I did a corporate gig in Florence. Florence, Alabama. And the, the lady was very nice, but she goes, you had a weird, you had a weird writer.

And I got, I don't even know if I have a writer. I'd never answer. I've never told anybody anything. She goes, well, we got sent one. And I go, what was on it? She goes, you asked for five Diet Coke's and some sandwiches. That's what. And I think it was just the boilerplate rider for like the agency or whatever, but it looked like some sandwiches.

To be that specific about the amount of tight coax and then go some sandwiches. Vague about the sandwiches. It doesn't matter what kind. Could mean a patty melt. Could mean a P.B. and J. Who knows? A variety, though. Give me some.

More than one. You'll make it the same sandwich multiple times. Give me some sandwich. At least sandwich platter would be a better way to say what they meant, I think. I don't even know if that's what they meant. I didn't want any of it. I was like, yeah. I mean, I'll take some Diet Coke's, but yeah.

You wouldn't take a sandwich? I'd take some. We want to get in these comments? Let's get into it. Let's start off with the comments. Okay. These are going to be baby comments? Yes.

I love it. Do you anything about babies? From babies? I have a 10-month-old baby. All right. When are they not babies anymore? I think one year is technically their infants. All right.

I got a baby then. I think I learned that. that on the baby's episode. Yeah, I said toddler, but who knows? Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Whenever they start toddling around. Yeah. Okay.

Whenever I stop doing my joke about it. However you define it in your act is the reality. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and mail at natelandpodcast.com. This first comment comes from anonymous source, Jane Doe. Unless it's the woman that met Nate at Opryland. Yeah, no, she died. Remember? Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right.

Yeah, a lot of Jane does dying these days. Yeah. I love how you open the podcast by insulting the people who support you. It just rubs me the wrong way. I guess I got used to Nate's way, which seems nicer to the audience. That's just the way we do it here. I'll take that one. Brian rules with an iron fist.

Also, Nate's never been on this podcast, so I don't know what this lady's talking about. I'm not even sure what you're talking about. Yeah. I like to, you know, talk down to the audience when I introduced the show. Sure. It's very tongue and cheek. I thought everybody knew that. Assert dominance over your audience. Totally tongue and chick. I mean, it's like... It is tongue and cheek. I mean, public figures to me is tongue and cheek. I know Dusty called himself a public figure. And I am one. But you're in a different place in your career than I am. I don't even really consider myself a public figure. So I think the whole thing's tongue and cheek. So...

Yeah. Well, the ass at the end, for sure. This should be called public figure and the boys. So it's like how you do a public figure, then the S has a little parentheses around it, where it could be singular or plural depending on how you look. We're fluctuating up and down. So I'm sorry, Jane. I'll try to be nicer. We are sorry, Jane.

And honestly, though, Jane, if you're going to make a comment like that, use your real name. Yeah, exactly. You don't need an alias for that. It's pretty soft critique. Dustin Boger. That must have been a tough last night. growing up, huh? Boger.

I went to high school with a few bogers. Did you? Yeah, this might be that. Good guys? Yeah, yeah, I like, the one that I knew I liked.

Like, if you're doing, if you're picking for teams, you go, oh, you're picking the boogers? Give me the bogars. You'll get a boagher. I'll pick the boagher. I'm sure you got enough of that.

Yeah, I bet he did. And I'm sorry about that, Dustin. Just like Aaron in the green room, at what point will one of you tell the people off camera that they need to be quiet. Oh, geez. Oh, I guess this is it here, huh?

They are not a host or guest. This feels like I'm saying this to them. Stop chiming in. Also, how close are they to the mics? You can hear the smallest laugh from someone off camera. These shenanigans never happened in the Nateland days or on any other pods. Wow. Well, I think go right to the next comment, right?

Sure, sure, sure. Dustin Boger. All right, we'll go right to the next, and then I'd like to address Dustin Bogan. Is that right? DJ Def Geoff. Def Jeff. Def Jeff. DJ Def Jeff is great.

Okay. I like my way, but DJ Def Jeff does have a better ring to it. I don't know who it is, but the live studio audience of one is killing it on this episode. Oh, the live studio audience of one is killing it on this episode. Really accentuates the unappreciated quips from Brian. All right. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, I'm a fan of it.

We should keep it up. I like, I always like a live, I never thought I would, I never thought I would like live podcast, but I, you know, I do like them. We did a couple. And I was like, that's where I shine, because you guys don't appreciate my jokes. That's true. But the audience does. Audience, well, I think it'd be fun to pump in some extra laughter into the, into the podcast,

too. Like, bring it back to Augusta National Masters. They got in trouble, we're not in trouble. They got called out a few years ago because there was a bird enthusiast watching the masters and was hearing the bird noises at the background and said those bird noises are from birds that are not indigenous to Augusta, Georgia. So these must be fake bird noises. It's crazy.

And they had to announce that they've been pumping in fake. Joe Zimmerman. They've been pumping in fake bird noises. Sorry, Joe's. Yeah, I remember that's crazy. But these are real people. These are real people in the room. It's nice to have them paying attention.

But, you know. Funny if it was like that's like a laugh from a different podcast I've heard. Well, I agree with Dustin Boger, though. It's like, lock that up, guys. No. I like it. I loved it. Now, people came out hard against the laugh early up, but then Katie started making a comeback.

Like, it's pretty even now. Okay. I mean, at first everybody was like, no, it's too much. I'm sorry if I could just call you out from that. But everybody thinks it's Abby. But now... I said, y'all don't know Abigail that well. He thinks she's laughing.

Yeah, exactly. He thinks she's enjoying the show. But do you see a shift? Now everybody's like, oh, we love it. It's great. But again, you know, I know this is a very similar to the Nateland podcast, but this is a new podcast. We've got new elements. That's right.

We're bringing people in. We should crank up. We never want you to get too comfortable listening. We're always going to throw something at you. Let's do turn the audience mics up so loud that you can hear. you can hear them, you know, breathe. Comes in the table, actually. Let's just do that.

Maybe a separate camera. I'd like to hear them breathe. You know how NFL, you know how? Through my headphones. You know how you watch a college football game? Sometimes you actually go to the wrong channel and it's just the sky cam. Yeah. And you're like, why am I not hearing any voices?

Oh, yeah. You should have an option to watch the podcast, but it's just on them. Exactly. Let's upload two copies of this episode. One, just that camera. Yeah. So you'll watch the whole episode. You know, the hard thing about reading the Dustin,

Boger comment is, you know, they may not read the comments like we do. Yeah. We're used to people insulting us. People insult me all the time. I got a whole dump dusty guy. We're dead inside. So, yeah, that's the way. So this may be the first time they've heard this. So you should have gave him a warning. Well, I think, I feel like Tristan set me up because he's like, oh, we should acknowledge it. And then we'll put tape on our mouth to be this whole funny thing. And then I put this in there and they're just over there laughing. Yeah. Or lack of. I'm like, okay, now I look like the idiot. Yeah. Now. No, I think this is great.

DJ Def Geoff. I like that name. Def Geoff. DeF Geoff. Buying glasses used to feel way more complicated than it ever needed to be. Everything was overpriced, styles felt outdated, and somehow you needed a spreadsheet just to understand what you were buying. Every time I buy glasses, that's what I'm going through. Yep.

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These are not my glasses. These are Abby's glasses, the Austin and Plobano. Let's see them on, though. Okay. That's what I'm talking about. I can even see better with these. When it comes to quality, for the price, Warby Parker is unbeatable.

Their perception, how do I look? Really good. Their prescription glasses start at just $95, so you don't have to choose between stylish frames and affordability anymore. They even have over 300 retail stores if you want to shop in person. Plus, for every pair they sell, they give a pair to someone in need. On top of that, Warby Parker has distributed over 20 million pairs of glasses to people in need through its Buy a Pair, Give a Pair program.

Right now, buy one prescription pair and get 20% off an additional prescription pair at 4B Parker.com slash Nateland. That's 20% off additional prescription pairs when you go to W-A-R-B-Y-Parker.com slash nateland.

Brett Sholebin. G-off. Well, Brett. We're down to Brett. Sholabin. Is that how you would say? There's an N in the middle somewhere.

Shonlebin. Brett S. Shon LeB. How would you say it? Brett S. Okay. Brian chose the baby subject just to get information about Dusty's newborn since he wouldn't return a text. Well, that is true. That is true. I should have said my conspiracy theory for this comment. Yeah. But yeah, I don't even, I'm not even sure that this baby exists.

Did Dusty share a lot of information about the baby last week? No. Hmm. Hmm. What did you show? Well, I don't know what you guys want me to say, though. I mean, it's a baby. How much did he weigh? He weighed. He was, he was 6.1 pounds. answered that. What is that in Kilogram? His name, he gave us his name. Sunny Ray Slay. Sonny Gray, which is a cool name. Yeah, I agree. I mean, come on. That's very cool. Come on. Somebody pointed out that on a previous episode, we mentioned Sunny Gray, and you said, Sunny Gray, that's a tough name. Is that real? Is that so close? Did I say it was a tough name?

That's what they said, you said. I don't know. Sunny Gray? According to them. According to that. What do they know? But, you know, it's not the same. I didn't name myself, Sunny Gray Slay. Sunny Ray. Yeah. You know. Changes the whole thing. It does. Because Sunny Ray is like a sun ray.

Yeah. Not like a... Sure. It can't be sunny and gray. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's an oxymoron.

Yeah. He's going to be confused this whole life. Yeah. Which one is it? Who am I? Anybody want to take a stab at that last name, though? How would you say it? Showing.

Showing Leibon? Showing Leibon. Yeah, you show it, and then you leavein. If you're listening, it's S-C-H-O-E-N-L-E-B-E-N. Shine-L-E-N. Oh, Shine-Libin. Maybe, maybe. I like that.

It could be. I don't know how German it is. Feels pretty German. All right, the next one. Brock Sanderson. Nice. I took my 13-year-old autistic son to see Dusty a couple of months ago in Traverse City. It was his first comedy show.

I'm happy to say we had a great time. He had a great time. Oh, he had a great time. Yeah, just the one. I'm happy to say he had a great time. We can now put that on the list of things that people with special needs can enjoy to. I will always remember his smiles and laughter at Dusty's Jokes. That's great.

All right, guys. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. He did say when it hit the two-minute mark, I mean, the two-hour mark, he got a little restless. Well, that'll do it. I said I don't need the openers. and they're really getting in the way. Thank you, Brock.

Yes. Oh, well, here's a interesting that we had just talked about the other name. This next name is Sunny Drury. Is that how you spell it with your son? S-U-N-N-Y. No, he's S-O-N-N-Y. Yeah, S-U-N-N-Y I think of Sunny D.

Mm-hmm. Tony, y'all. You remember Sunny D? Yeah. The drink? Yeah. That's all that one. It's on his writer.

Not the first thing I think of it. I think of just the sun. It's sunny outside. I think of the, uh, maybe because the first letter of this guy's last name is D. Yeah. Oh, maybe. The sunny Drury in. Yeah. Sunny D.

Rory. Sunny Drury. I'm married into the name Drury and my first name is Sunny. So yeah, we've got a real emotional range happening over here. But Sunny D feels like the real redemption arc of the Drury name needed. There you go. All right. Yeah.

I feel like you read a. head. No, I can't read that fast. But I like that because yeah, Drury is, you know the Drury Hotel? It's a tough name for a hotel. It feels, it's a good hotel. You think, it gets it's named after someone who started it and they were just really firm on those who'd be named after us. I mean, I get that. You're like, no, I want, it's going to be my name. But Drury, it's not dreary. It's not dreary, but it sounds a lot like it. Sounds worse. My mom used to stay at a lot of Drorys. And they do, they have, they serve like breakfast and lunch and they have drinks.

I mean, it's a nice hotel. It's a good place. Look at this. Founded in 1973 by the Drury Brothers in Sykston, Missouri. Home of spaghetti dinner comedy with Brian Bates. That's where he just was. I haven't been there yet, but. Oh, that's where you're going to be there.

April 25th. Are you going to stay at the jury? Stay at the original. Stay at the jury. I guess I have to now. Yeah, you should. You got to, man. When you get there, ask to speak to the brothers.

Yeah. The chain is recognized for high guest satisfaction. They received the JD Power Award for highest and guest satisfaction among upper middle, upper midscale hotel chains. I don't know what that means. Upper midscale. It is a good hotel, but sometimes, you know, my hotel perception has changed. What used to be, and I'm not even standing in fancy places, but what I would have said was a pretty good hotel back in the day. Sometimes I'm like, no, I'm not going to do it.

Yeah, well, you forgot where you came from. Yeah, well, you can, some things you're. want to forget. I'm going to change my bio to say one of the fastest rising upper mid-scale comedians working to the day. Well, I just want people know if you're coming to the Sykeston Christian Academy spaghetti dinner on April 25th, there's a party at the Drury Inn. All right.

Room 125. Yep. I'd like to call myself the slowest rising comedian. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I'm rising. You'd like to, but that's me. Okay.

Well, but you got to be rising. Yeah, yeah. If you say fastest rising. Fastest rising sounds like... Well, we're having a good time here, guys. Are we? We're having a good time. You set yourself up for that one, Brian.

He's a comedian rising at the appropriate speed for his talent. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to go. Right where I've deserved to be. He deserves his place. Well, that is true. I was going up, then the elevator broke. You know what I mean?

Okay. Riley Patterson. Interesting way to spell Riley. Yeah. Riley Patterson. It's like Raleigh, but with an I instead of an A. Yeah. Interesting.

Really? Really? Really Patterson. I probably just misspelled Raleley. Oh, okay. No, really? No, I think that's right. Really Patterson. This one's really funny to read without having context of the last episode.

It's just like a random fact. Don't read ahead, Andrew. Sorry. I think infants being able to breathe and swallow at the same time is so they aren't constantly struggling when nursing. Next time I'm on a flight. I'm just going to turn to the guy next to me and say that. You know, I think infants, just like, why are you saying this? Hey, dude. You know, infants can breathe and swallow it so they can breastfeed.

I think it's so they're not struggling while they're nursing, right? The guy's just like, hey, man, I'm going to put my headphones on. You have a safe flight. I'd tell you you get no one to talk to you. You just start throwing facts like that out from the middle seat. This feels like an obvious kind of, you know, yeah, I bet that's why. Well, last week Aaron said, so they could cry. I think things can have multiple reasons. Why did you say?

So they can cry and breathe at the same time. Oh, okay. I think it all works out. Why are they swallowing while crying and breathing? Who knows, man? Many swallow their tears. They got a lot of wrong. Yeah.

You know there's a theory that babies. That's what I tell my kids. Swallow them tears. There's a theory. It's not supported by a lot of science, but that's never stopped us before. There's a theory that when you're born and when you die, your brain produces a ton of DMT, the dream particle, the drug. So essentially babies are born like tripping out of their minds. So there's just a lot going on.

A lot of sensory information they're trying to process, you know. I like that theory. Yeah. You ever done DMT when I was a baby? Yeah, when a baby, and I'll do it again one day. I did it once. Yeah. I'll do it when I die.

Robin Gillum. When y'all are, I like it, when y'all are talking names, it becomes most prevalent that you all are from the South. Well, there you all. Where folks' names are more traditional. Over here in California, we have several juniors, misters, and St. Blank. I think the diversity in cultures shines brighter on the West Coast.

You have a guy named like St. Mike? Well, I mentioned last week one of the guys that helped with my special, his name was St. Thomas. Yeah. Then that's common in California? I don't believe this. I think Robbins. What does he mean several Misters? Well, I was talking about there was a football player.

There's a high school football player named Mr. Simpson. A person named Mr. Mr. And let's not act like in the South. We don't have a lot of juniors. I think the most juniors. I don't think they have a lot in California. But like their actual name is junior.

Oh. Like on the birth certificate. Like first name is junior. Yeah. I don't know. I like it. Well, Junior Sleigh. Yeah.

I think that was a, that was an option for us. Really? Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Rather than Dusty Jr. Mr. Yeah.

Mr. Junior Sle. That's what we thought about name. Mr. Junior St. Slay. Yeah. What's your name? Mr. Jr. Yeah. But what's in the middle of those?

St. That's it. Mr. St. Jr. Mr. St. Jr. That's what I should have named. Just make it. Confuse.

Mr. Mr. Yeah. Well, when you actually have your third child, you can name. That's right. Yeah. We're prepping for it. Yeah. Good to do a practice run.

See how everybody. I started doing that in a southern accent, and I was like, I wish I had not done this. Well, she threw out a y'all at the beginning and then did a you all halfway through. Yeah, she said y'all. She's trying to fit in with us for the South. And then suddenly slammed us at the end. Yeah, yeah. You were saying y'all all?

I say that. I lot of it. I realize it doesn't like, y'all all need to. Oh, no, I guess I have said. Yeah. Yeah. You're saying you all all. Yeah.

But it works somehow. Do you ever say the SEC conference? The Southeastern Conference Conference. Oh, that's funny. I didn't know that. People say ATM machine a lot. I do. But the M is for machine.

Hot water heater. Hot water heater. It's not heating hot water. It's heating cold water. Jumbo shrimp. Cold water heater. Do you guys edit these at all? Nah.

All this goes in. This is our best episode? Yeah. I love it. Andrew, I could not feel better about this episode. We're on a roll. What are you talking about? Okay.

Dusty's belly laughs at Brian's expense will never get old. Well, I don't know about that. It won't get old to me either. Thank you, Mandy. Yeah, thank you, Mandy. We're having a good time. I met the both of you guys the same night. Do you guys remember where we met?

The two of them? Yeah. I thought I knew where we met, but Dusty wasn't there. Okay, maybe I met you one time before. I did a guest set. Dusty was headlining and you were featuring at the Semperfy Bar and Grill in Woodstock, Georgia. Back when Dusty was headlining Bar and Grills. Is that Derek Tennant show?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I came into the first. five minutes. That was a hot show. I did it. They still do it. I went by and did a set on it like last year, and it was so fun. I love that show. I forgot about that show. That is where I thought I met you. It was a simplified Bar and Grill. I don't think... Oh, maybe I met you separately at the same place. I think I headlined that night.

Yeah, that actually makes sense. Who was, it was Jamie Ward. Jamie Ward featured for me. That's right. Yeah, I love Jamie. Yeah. I think you're going to say Dusty Open for you there. No, but... I met you guys both headlining the Bar and Grill separately. It wasn't all at the same time. No, I probably couldn't handle both of the same place, though. That's a lot.

Yeah. It's a lot of talent to meet at the same time. Yeah, because I went out and had a cigar with a friend of mine, and you weren't there, so you would have came. I thought I, one of my childhood friends. There's like a shopping mall behind that place, the Cimperify Bar and Grill, and I saw Derek Tenet walking to his car, and I thought, I think I'm going to catch this guy. I thought this whole thing was a charade. That is going to, it was going to be walking.

Like at the end of usual suspects. Yeah, if you're listening, Derek Tenet, a very funny comedian, a friend of ours, but he's paralyzed on one side of his body. Yeah, but nobody was around. I was in my car and he had known. I thought, I'm going to catch him. It's a big part of his act.

So if, like, he was healed, he'd have a reason to keep it. But he stuck to the script. This guy's a method actor. Well, yeah. I mean, when he gets into character, he's not going to let up. Yeah, even when he doesn't think he wins around.

I'll get you eventually, Derek. We'll get you eventually. Jonathan, Cronkey. You think that's it? Cronky? Yeah, I think so. Or cronk.

Cronk? J.K. Just feel like the E.B. in there, though. Yeah, it would go by J.K. Doesn't it be fun? That would be fun. Brian Regan performed at the sphere. Come on, guys.

You have a laptop, and I doubt his website is blocked by Zanis. You'd be surprised at what is blocked by Zanis. Half the episodes of the Naitland podcast aren't available on the Zanis Network. Yeah, if you're connected to what, like, I was here one day, And I was watching a show and not really watching. And I was on my phone. And I was trying to look up our stuff on YouTube, this podcast on YouTube. And I was like, we don't, our episodes are not even on YouTube.

Dusty texted us. Do we delete all our old episodes of England? And we're like, get off the Zanis Wi-Fi. What is that block designed to keep people from doing? It's the restricted mode. It's like the business. It's Comcast Wi-Fi here. It's on restricted mode.

So all the bad stuff is gone, too, but they threw the baby out with the bathwater, you know. So now, like, you can't get half the Nate Land episodes. Can you see if that's true about Brian? That's probably blocked. Oh, okay. Yeah, let's find out. Let's, yeah, you have a laptop. Come on, guys.

Brian Regan at the sphere. Well, he's playing at the Venet. Brian Regan is not performing at the sphere in Las Vegas, but he's at the Palazzo Theater. Has he ever? This summer. But let's see if he ever did. He's from Nevada, isn't he? He's from Florida.

He lives in Las Vegas. He lives in Vegas. Okay. All right. So we're going to look it up, but we're going to go on to the next one. This is Aaron J. Am I dreaming this, or did Aaron once talk about a reoccurring nightmare he had as a kid where he was in the microwave? Wouldn't this have stemmed from the toaster movie?

Probably. That would make perfect sense. Did you have a reoccurring nightmare where you were in the microwave? in the microwave? Yeah, I did. Wow. Yeah, it was in my minivan with my family. We were in the microwave.

And some kind of like demon face closed it. That could just be the microwave. And turned it on and we died. Wow. I think that's a sign. We woke up, which I mean, I think means we died. I mean, yeah, the microwave is bad. Don't use that thing.

You know how hard it is to shop for food for dusty when you can't involve a pork or a microwave? There's not a lot of options. I know. That's what it's like out here. Everybody's trying to poison you. Do you have a microwave in your house? I do. But my old house, we remodeled our kitchen and we removed the microwave.

There was no microwave. And then we bought a new house. The house had a microwave in it. I'm not ready to do a kitchen renovation. But what we did was it took the microwave out and we put one of those big hoods in. And that's what I'd like to do again. Because it sucks all about. bad stuff out instead of putting all the bad stuff in exactly my wife i think sneaks around and uses the

microwave when you're not in when you're not a town i think so i think so something no good you come home you smell and you're like it smells like radiation in here you have a monitor you're like you're out of town but you put a radiation detector you can color out yeah you get up to yeah yeah you've been using this mark bennett i'm so disappointed that they outside of dust Thank you. Believe in the moon mission. Or are they trolling? Well, they're not trolling.

Talking about the, uh, all of it. Andrew, all of it. Yeah, everything. Can I say this, though? Aaron and I were in the green room this past week, Zanis. There was five of us. Gravity knocked my book down. Oh, nice.

Three did not believe that we'd ever been to the moon. Aaron and I were the two dissenting votes that said we had. I mean, this is like a normal show. We're the minority. So really, we're the conspiracy theorist. I know. You are the mainstream narrative. And you have the hack mainstream opinion.

Yeah, you just go with what everybody else thinks. Well, I think the second more people believe in, don't believe in it than do, you'll come to our side. Yeah, but you're talking about comics. And that is very true. If the news came on. And it's not a true cross section of America. If CNN or Fox News was like, we didn't land on the moon, I'll probably go. All right.

Well, let me see what's going on here. They don't want to know about something. Yeah, I'm not to think we did. But the, yeah, I mean, I'm, listen, I'm just, I'm just doing a bit. And we're having a good time. He sticks to it more than Derek Tenet. Dusty was trolling people on Twitter this weekend about the moon mission. Well, you know what?

This is what I was doing. I guess you could call it trolling, but people got mad at me about talking about it. and I just go, what was the most exciting thing to you about this moon mission? And you were about the only one with a good answer. You said, he said, it's because we've gone the farthest from Earth. But people were like, a lot of people were like, oh, I go, what was the most exciting part to you about it? And they go, coming home, you know, making sure they all landed safely. I go, okay.

Sticking it to Russia. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, I'm looking for, oh, I love when we, you know, pass. this and got this and this video. I don't know. It's just like nothing truly seems exciting about the movie. Oh, this most recent one? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, they're like, it was the friends we made along the way and like, no, it wasn't? Yeah. What are you talking about? Nothing seemed excited. It was the first time that anyone has sent people into space, like out into space in 50 years.

Right, but I mean like. So that in and of itself is exciting. Like saying that, it is excited. But I'm like, I just feel like you want... Doing it is super exciting. But I'm like that we want more of the, what did you do? Like, I wanted more footage. I just feel like we did...

There's tons of stuff. Like... They filmed the whole trip. The whole video. But here's where I'm at with it. I don't think there's a single thing that would satisfy you. No. No, maybe not satisfy me, but it might be fun to have some.

Like, every question and everything, every point you make, there is a scientific response to. but I don't think you, I don't think any of them satisfied. There were no exciting footage. Just, I mean, like, I'll admit that you're probably right. I'm not denying it. But what, what exciting footage did you see that you were like, oh, that's cool? What did you want, a music video from the moon? I don't know, a video.

The Earth, I thought was pretty cool. That picture? Yeah. Yeah, we got lots of those, though. We haven't had a new one in 50 years. Yeah, but it looks the same as the others. Well, some people said it didn't. Yeah, it looks like, I mean, it's basically, it's pretty cool.

Did you see the one with all the Kim trails? And they're like, I would believe it if this was what it was like. I'd be more realistic. You looked at these guys. I mean, it's like, that's all I'm saying is I just feel like we didn't really get anything new that we hadn't had before. Nothing was truly exciting about it. And I'm just like, all we get is like these astronauts on the ship, things are floating around. And I go, God, we don't want to see you. We turn the camera around. That's what we want to say. This wasn't it. So this was Artemis 2. I think Artemis 4, they're going to land on the moon. And they're going to land in a crater on the moon that's so deep that it never received sunlight. So there's actual ice down there. So that will be huge. What's going on with Artemis 3?

I don't know what Artemis 3 is doing. I don't know if they're going to land or not. I read about it. They're making some more loop-de-loops. Yeah. Why do they keep naming them after these Greek gods and goddesses? I don't know. I've always thought NASA names things well, though. I think they're powerful. It's powerful stuff. Do you want the USS Jesus Christ to go out there and go to them?

No, but what about, you know, just a regular name? A dog or dog? What about? They name them like hurricanes. It's just like alphabetical names. Matilda. Yeah, Katrina's going to go. Exactly. I don't know. I like Gemini. I like Apollo. That's powerful stuff. I don't like it. I don't like it. I think people are less excited about that.

the visuals because our movies in space look cooler than the real footage. I just don't think that's special. We see it all the time. I just don't think they really gave us any good footage. I mean, I'm into seeing it. But even on my post, I mean, I'm not saying I have the farthest reach of anybody with my post. But nobody was, they gave me one picture. Yeah.

You know, and I'm like, what specifically do you want? I don't know. It'd be nice to. This is nice that we can say it. So put it out there. so Artemis 3 can grab it. But they're reading their comments before the next mission. They're on the spaceship.

Yeah. And they're looking out the window with their cell phone. You know, film, you're like filming, hey, here's Jake. And then here's the window. And it's like stars zipping by or something. Or, oh, we just missed an asteroid. Sometimes, like you wanted to be shaking a little bit. Yeah.

Where's the turbulence? Where's the danger? An asteroid going behind. How I hear these guys are so brave. Oh, just these brave astronauts in the time. When did they go to light speed or something? They literally, they went farther away from Earth than anyone ever has ever. And you're like, what, these guys are like brave?

Nobody's even chasing them. It's insane. I don't think any of them are brave. I feel brave taking a Southwest flight to Tampa. And they're the farthest of that anybody's ever been. It's crazy. It's crazy. You got to embrace objective wins for the human race.

And this is an objective win. He braces the mainstream narrative that we didn't. That's what I'm saying. This guy just hack a thing. So this comment is about that we didn't really go on the recent one? Yeah, I mean, this guy. Oh, I thought we were talking about the original. Mark about all of it.

Well, I think that's all up there. Mark Bennett gets it. Mark Bennett gets it. Okay. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack, hydration, and coffee sponsor, IQ bar, protein bars, IQ mix, hydration mixes, and the IQ Joe mushroom coffees are the delicious,

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I got the mint chocolate chip IQ bar. I love a mint chocolate chip. It's just a great flavor. Yeah. And any type of product you put it in. Yeah. You put it in with an IQ bar. Yeah.

And right now, IQ bar is. is offering our special podcast listeners 20% off all IQ bar products, including the Ultimate Sampler Pack, plus free shipping. You get your 20% off text public to 64,000. How about that? Text public to 64,000. That's public to 6400000. Message and data rates may apply C terms for details. Well, this, the day this comes out, April 15th is one of my favorite days of the year. Tax Day. I love tax day. I love giving back. I like that you put this comment last on tax day because what a waste of our tax dollars this was. It's a good segue. It's a good segue. Drop in the bucket. We're going to cut tax money for other stuff. So many things. Yeah, yeah. This is a drop in the bucket. Well, I love tax day. I love giving back. I love

I don't have time to figure out where to put my resources, so I allow the government to disperse it as they see fit. Right. Yeah. And they're going to use it to advance. Yes. It's nice. And kind and help people. And they always do a good job. They do an amazing job. And the nice thing is they're super transparent about it. Yes. So you know where every dollar's going. That's what I like about it. I can just go to a website and it tells me where every cent is going. And if you have any questions, they audit the government every year. And they always do a great job with that. And they listen to you. If you reach out. to them, they go, yeah, we want you to know that you always have representation. Exactly.

Dusty, I bet when you drive over some bad roads, you complain about those roads. No, never. I just think to myself, we got to raise taxes. Yeah, that's what I think. Clearly. Well, you're a former accountant. Did you dabble in taxes? Well, I don't want to do like Stolen Valor.

I finance major had a budgeting role, which involved some accounting. Do you ever call it finance? Or was it always fine? It's at Auburn University where I attended, they taught us, Wario. I went there, some. So did Dusty pretend. He went there some. Yeah.

He went there at a couple of parties talking about. I entered the campus. Yeah. Yeah, they say first day of finance. They say you got to say finance. But I never felt right to say it that way. Yeah. What did you major?

I was with finance. Mitchell once here at Zanis. All right. Go ahead. From SNL. But yeah, I, you know, I did, I was never an official accountant title. I never a CPA, but I did my best accounting credit. I was the grand prize winner of the 2017 Search for the South's Funniest Accountant.

That can't be true. And I won. You beat the other guy? Yeah, I beat. I beat. I think there were six other people. Did you know any of them? No.

Oh, unfortunately, the accounting world is pretty isolating. It's not a lot of hanging out. Was there anybody else? Oh, look at that. You pulled me up. That was more the last one they did a few years ago. My buddy Will Wright's up there. I think he did an alien.

He did? I think, yeah. Where's past winners here? Oh, yeah. It better have me up there. Other past winners. Gilbert Lawland won it. Okay.

Okay. Herbert. Yeah. Gilbert, what about? Look at that. Oh. There was a lot. Dusty, you're going to love this credit on this picture.

Look at that photo. Professional comedian. I love that. I made sure they knew. We're all professional comedians. This is back when I wanted to have a book, apparently. This is your no-nonsense company. I might run for office.

I might write a book. I might be a pundit of some kind. That's how you look when people come into the accountant office. I'm like, listen, guys. You ready to get these taxes done or what? Our actuals are way over budget. Wow. I forgot about that headshot.

That was one I first, you guys probably had this experience at some point, you're just a comedian, you don't have headshots. And all of a sudden there's a gig that needs a headshot. Yes. And you have an emergency headshot photo shoot for your first real gig. And I think that's from that. Dude, I've had some brutal old headshots. Oh, I'm trying to find my way. This one, the second one from the right.

It's not a brutal up at the very time. Yeah, we all see. Oh, this one. This is a still. No, no, no. From the second one from the left. Oh, dude, this is the one I was looking for. You're burying the lead here.

This is the one I was looking for. I don't think it's a bad picture, but I... It's a... It's, it's, uh, no shade to the photographer at all. They did an amazing job catcher in what I was giving them. Yeah. Unfortunately, that's what I gave them. Yeah. Well, also...

Should I shave before? You asked, should I shave and you landed on, kind of. Yeah. Let's go for a little part that I've never done in my life here. Yeah. Oh, God, I use that for... So long, man. And you still made it. You still made it in comedy.

I got to where I am now. Fastest Roder Comican. But my grand prize for winning the 2017 search for the South's Finanest Accountant was expenses paid weekend in Las Vegas. He just got to go to do comedy or just a... Nope, nope, just to go. It's pretty good. It's like a test.

A little vacation. How can he ruin the budget? Yeah, I think it was a play on the accounting thing. It's like, here's a money-related. prize. So me and my brother went to stay at the Venetian for two nights. All right. And a nice little time. But I still will use that, especially at like a corporate gig. And they want to know how should we bring you up. I'm like, say this at the end. Because it does get a laugh. Yep. It is funny because the title goes on forever. It's a long title.

I like to stretch out. Grand Prize winner of this 2017 search for the South's funniest. There are more awards in that title than there were people competing. Yeah, you can't even get, you can't even go to the whole country. It's got to be. just the South. That would have been good for the gig you just did at your old company. Well, you know, I will say this. They did hire me to come do that show, but when I was still, one of the requirements for the competitions, you had to be working in accounting or finance.

And I remember I had not told my company that I was doing stand-up like at night, but this, they required me to go to my employer and ask them to sponsor. It's a big, it's all like a philanthropic thing. Yeah. like some organization. But I had to go tell my boss, hey, I do stand up and also can you sponsor this competition I'm doing? And they were like, that's great.

But no, we're not going to. So I was the only person whose company didn't sponsor. Oh, I love that. But then they all ended up coming. And they were like, sorry, we didn't sponsor you. We'll hire you. Still one. We'll hire you in eight years to make up for it.

But it was at center stage. They fill it up. It was like 600 people. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, it's fun. It was my biggest show I'd ever do. done at that point, I think. Yeah, we brought home, brought home some hardware.

It's funny because I'm sure you all have heard, whenever a stand-up comic needs an example of like a lame job and a joke, they always say accountant. Yeah. Well, it's the most boring. Yeah. Go down to margin accounting. Do you guys have fake jobs you tell people like on a flight if they're like, what do you do for a living?

To avoid saying comedian. It's Uber drivers usually. Yeah. It's where I just say. And not that I'm anybody. it's just, I just sometimes you're like, I don't want to have a conversation. Exactly.

You don't know them. But you don't want to be rude, but yeah, yeah. So I'll just say like, I'm in sales in town. Or I just go, like, I'm just here visiting for a few days. Yeah. Just to check it out. I know, but sometimes I'll say comedy and then you talk to them about it. Sometimes if you're too vague, it sounds sketchy.

Yeah. Like, what do you say? I'm just here, here to say visiting for a few days. You're like, you're visiting Grand Rapids, Minnesota. Do you say accounting? I'll say, I'll say budget analyst. Oh, my God. And that is a show,

stopper. And they go, ugh, yeah. I think I'm going to start saying I'm unemployed. I don't know how I'll pay for this Uber. Yeah. Between jobs right now. I'm just having a good time. What are you doing in Omaha then, buddy? How'd you get here? I'm out of here looking for jobs. Dude, we had a, I was in the Uber with, uh, it was with Dustin Nickerson and Derek Strip, we were at over. We were opening for Nate in. I wish I remember what city was. Somewhere, Pacific Northwest. Yakima? It might have been Yakima.

But we get in the Uber and she starts talking to us and ask what we're doing in town and somebody asked her like, do you live here? She goes, no, I just moved here trying to put my life back together. And none of us

asked any follow-up question. Clearly she wanted us to tell her story. She feels like something Derek would follow up with. We all just looked at each other like, I'm not touching that. Yeah, I'd have been like, well, I hear you on that.

Just trying to put my life back Are we all, sister? Yeah. Yeah. That's why all of us are here in Yakima. I think you just missed your turn right there. You're doing all right? Yeah.

Driving 90. Yeah, she's speeding up as she's talking. She's like, are we going to where the coffee shop we chose? She just says a lot of, yeah, I'm trying to put my life back together. Yeah. She keeps saying it. Yeah, she keeps saying it like we didn't hear. Yeah, so what happened?

So I might start saying that. I'm just trying to put my life back together. Yeah. You know, financial stress is one of those things that can sneak into every part of life. It's not just about numbers in your bank account. It's the way it keeps you up at night, the tension it can create in relationships, or that constant background anxiety you just can't quite shake. And honestly, a lot of us have been there at some point trying to figure everything out on our own

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Let's get back to taxes, guys Yeah, sorry, let's do it Taxes have been around Since at least 3,000 BC Ancient Egypt earliest taxes involved In collecting 20% of grain harvest What would they do?

The actual grain itself What would they do with it? I think just store it for How long can you store grain? Famines. I always thought grain Uncracked grain can Almost last forever.

Really? Yeah, unless insects, eat it. So if you crack it, the government can't take it from me. Well, they've got to use it. You got to crack that grain. Oh, yeah. Fair enough. Yeah, if they're coming to repossess any of your grain, the way you get at them is you crack it, you crack all the grain. Didn't Joseph have dreams

and said to store up seven years? I mean, that's not a tax, I guess, but store up for... Yeah, that's how he earned the trust. He had dreams, you got to wear a coat. Something like that. My granddad would know. Yeah. Was it seven years

and then there were going to be seven years of famine? Seven years of feast and seven years of famine. Yeah. Yep. But during that feast, you guys start planning for that famine. That's right. Julius Caesar implemented the first sales tax. Give to Caesar, what is Caesar's?

That's right. Yeah. That's what I say every year when I hit submit on my taxes. I yell it. Say hot and ready. Little Caesar. What do you say, Desi? Well, you know, I have to pay quarterly.

Hard and so much. It's a nightmare. It's sad every time. Does he? I think we have the same accountant. Maybe so. Yeah. He would never tell me that, but I've put together.

I think we got the same guy. He does a lot of rodeo cowboys as well as comedians. Because apparently we have a lot of the same tax situations. Is that true? Do you know that? Well, I have a business manager, so he probably communicates with the tax guy more than me. I go straight to the tax guy because I'm, you know. Well, I have the information.

I have a little brother. Is he like, wait, are you, aren't you? you the South's funniest account? Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty big deal. Yeah, I had actually interviewed a lot of accountants that were trying to represent me after my, my achievements. They were like, we would love to help you. I'm like, you think I need help? I've already accomplished. I might not be earning a lot of money, but I'm getting a lot of trips to Vegas. How do we, how do we account for that? Yeah. All right, Dusty, you've said that you'd like to blow it all up. I didn't use those words. All right.

I'm just saying you're putting this out there. Yeah. All right. Excuse me. What did you say? You'd like to just this restart at all. Well, I don't. I mean, I just start taxes.

It's out of control. Let me just, we're being taxed for everything. Let's say we're starting all over. You're starting a new society here. Dusty land. You're the president. You're the king.

What do we tax? Nothing. Give to Dusty. What is Dusty's? Well, how are we going to function? What do you mean? How do you get money for a military? How do you get money for?

public infrastructure. How do you do any of that? I think you just, you rally everybody together and you go, hey, we're going to need, you know, to be able to defend ourselves. So you need, you know, I'm, you know, I'm not the president. I'm not running a society. But I would think you go, hey, we got to defend this. This is ours. Yeah. So we need to organize. And what if they say no? Well, then I go, well, you get, we don't have a society then. Okay. And you guys just, you know, run your own land. I'll run my own land. You don't need me telling you what to do. The country's already dissolved completely. Why do we even need it?

Split it up again. Let's just, we all have our own land. Yeah. And we just raise crops and, you know. Everybody just be a good guy. Yeah. How would you defend yourself? You would just.

Well, you would, you know, I would hope that we would keep the guns. And, you know, you would, you know. What if somebody comes and takes your guns? You got to team up with other people, right? Well, you know, I don't know if how they're going to take them, you know, unless I'm asleep. Let's say there's other countries that... That's a good point.

Let's say there's other countries that still exist. And you're starting this one. Well, that's why I do think people would organize. I don't think they would say no. When you go, hey, we need to get together and be able to defend... If they get together and they go, look, I'm happy to be a part of this, but I'm not giving you any money for anything. Yeah, we'll go great.

But do help defend. Oh, serve. Yeah. Give us your time. Yeah. So you're talking more of a common. I've always talked about a commune. I love a commune. Yeah. Yeah. I'm all about a commune. Give a penny. Take a penny. I don't know what that means necessarily. There's not going to be any currency in Dusty's new world.

Okay. We're already, by the little thing of the gas thing. Yeah. You helping me out a little bit. I'll help you out. You scratch my back. I'll scratch you.

Exactly. We're all scratching. You know, I mean, yeah, you know, you can't spring this kind of question on somebody and expect, you know,

I didn't come with a plan, but. You've been thinking about this for a year. But I do think that, yeah, you build your own community with like-minded people. Okay. And you,

you know, you grow, you garden, you grow fruit, you have, you raise animals, you take care of it. And then as a community,

you're all, you know, it's all in your best interest to protect what you have. But who's going to find NASA? Well, listen. You're not going to go to the moon? No. No, there's, yeah, I mean, we'll let other people go to the moon and tell us what they found. But then when the sun explodes, you're going to feel pretty silly. When it, we're just going to go down, you know?

Yeah. We're just going to. What about the mail? How are we going to get the mail through no roads? Well, who's sending you a letter? It's like, I mean, you know what I mean? It's the funniest thought of. experiment. Everybody you know is in the commune. I saw Dusty argue with people about taxes on Twitter

and people were like, you got to have the roads to fund the mail delivery. People love to talk about the roads. I got to get my magazines I didn't sign up for somehow. I don't use the roads quite a bit. Yeah, I mean. Well, you could do just all tolls. You pay for what you use on the roads. I like that. Yeah. I don't like tolls because I'm already paying taxes. But if there's no... I'm not paying for roads they don't use. Yeah. What would happen? Use that for everything. have an example here. Okay.

In Atlanta, Georgia 400. Oh, road. You're familiar with it? Yeah, very. It was funded in 1993 with a toll. And once they made that money back, it was supposed to stop tolling. And then they just kept coming up with other ways. Never quite went away until eventually.

Eventually they took it down. Went away in 2013 finally. And now I think it's coming back as an express lane. Have you heard that? Nope, but it wouldn't surprise me. Yeah. But it was a perfect example. I'd honestly love a new express lane.

It was a toll road that's supposed to go away as soon as they got to fund it, and they kept finding ways. Well, we need that money to go toward this and that, right? Yeah. Yeah, they just, they just refused to release the power. Yeah. Can't think about that. Well, I mean, in this world that we're creating here together,

the toll road, you would not pitch it as one day this toll will go away. Yeah. The toll would always exist. And it would just go into a fund to always, you know, keep that road up to speed. What do you think about in theory? And that creates a lot of jobs for toll workers. Yeah, exactly. Let's say we got a system.

No income tax, no property tax, nothing. The only taxes you pay, there's a 50% sales tax on everything you buy. And those are the only taxes you pay. What do you think about that? I mean, 50% is steep. It is steep, but you're choosing how you're taxed, right? Yeah. And if you choose to grow everything on your own lands and just operate yourself, do you pay in very little taxes?

Yeah. What do you think about that system? I think it would like... Let's say the math works out that it's the same amount. There's the same amount of revenue for a country. I think it'd be like devastating for everyone initially, especially people that are not currently paying property taxes or income taxes. That would be a devastating blow. But I think things could balance themselves out eventually, you know, because you would, you know, when you

growing, you would save your seeds because you're going, I'm not going to buy seeds. Let's say we even exempt food and medicine. Food and medicine are tax-free. Stuff you buy online. It's just goods. Yeah, I mean, the whole thing is, like, we have too much government. It's not that there's not a need for some. We have too much. We got to go bigger, man. We got to go to Mars. We got to expand. Like, I don't mind there being a little leadership, you know, and having things. But I think think, I don't know. In HOA? I think, you know, even the HOA I had, even though I complained about them in my old

neighborhood, I complained about them. But in some ways, I did like it because you do live next to people. So you're like the HOA, the ideas that make sure that the people you live next to live up to a certain standard, which I think in your commune you would want to. Yeah, of course. And then you, and then they also wouldn't let people put up political. signs, which I like too, because then there's no, you know, nobody dislikes their neighbor over their political signs, which I like.

But you fly a lot. Who's going to pay for TSA to screen us? I have always said we don't need TSA. Who's going to pay for the airport? Who's going to set up the airport? Well, I don't know. We'll just figure it out. Yeah.

We'll just get together and go, come on, guys. I just believe that we would figure everything out of it. Yeah. There are nine states. with no state income tax. Texas. Tennessee. Florida?

Yes. That's all I know. Arizona. No? No, I don't know. I'm out. Alaska. Oh, okay.

Florida, Nevada, New Hampshire, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Washington, and Wyoming. All right. All right. And she'll be at May 22nd, 23rd. Casper. Casper Airport. People do get so fired up when you try to have these conversations.

And I enjoy just talking to people about stuff, but people get so fired up. Yeah, just so you know, none of us are influencing tax policy in America. Yeah. And I'm for it. Thankfully. Yeah. Well, I don't say thankfully. I say it.

We're not doing it, but I'm not happy about it. The states with the highest income tax rate, California, Hawaii, New York, New Jersey, Oregon. New Jersey, I think, has the highest. This says California. Oh, okay. Who knows? It's not like there's hard data for this or anything. I think we do know exactly.

It's really immeasurable. No one knows. We don't want to quantify this. These numbers are not quantifiable. According to... DJ Gioff. Jonathan Cronky. Yeah.

Come on, guys. You have a laptop. Oh, yeah. Didn't we find that that wasn't accurate? God forbid we have a conversation among friends here. I don't think that's even what he said was accurate, right? about Brian Regan doing the sphere? I couldn't find anything about it.

Yeah. Or maybe it's all blocked on the Zanis network. Alaska has the lowest overall tax burden. Yeah. But. Yeah, you deserve to pay less if you're going to live full time in Alaska. Things are super expensive. Yeah, it says the high cost of living offsets it.

I had this thought, though, about a state like California, right? Because California is great. I love that state. I've driven around that state a lot. Beautiful. I think it's awesome. And I have a running theory. that taxes are so high because that's how you keep everybody from moving there.

If, like, the taxes were low, everybody would just go there. So they're like, nah, we want this to be a little more exclusive. So we're going to up the taxes. I like that. It's like a VIP experience. Yeah, if you want to live here, you're going to pay to live here. Okay. Well, it's working for them.

Yeah. Yeah, New York, same way. There's the exclusive. Yeah. Okay. That's my running theory. Tennessee has one of the highest sales tax of any state. Yeah.

How high is it? 10% of it? Almost 10%. Yeah. Man. I think Montgomery, Alabama is a 10% sales sales. It was high. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm trying to buy my candy cigarettes in there. 19 cents. 19 cents on taxes. Some weird specific taxes. Maryland has a rain tax. They charge a fee for impervious surfaces like driveways and roofs to combat runoff.

What? So you should they want you to capture the rain. Yeah, I guess it causes some problems so they charge you a fee to keep it from having rainwater runoff. Okay.

Keep the rain. They charge you a fee if you have a roof. I think they charge so if you have some rain buckets. There's only certain counties in Maryland. We don't ask questions right here. That's wild.

Yeah, we just keep a question. Cool, cool, cool. Sorry, sorry for follow questions about that insane thing. That he's not real clear about it. Many U.S. states apply income tax called a jock tax to visiting professional athletes and entertainers based on their earnings while performing there. I've had that experience. I've been taxed in, like, North Carolina or somewhere where they take a little bit out. I don't think they call it a jock tax with us. That's what I called it.

What would the comedian version of that? What should it be called? Hact tax. Whatever the opposite of jock is. I've never been somewhere and they take a little extra out because of that? Yeah, I think North Carolina will do it. Yeah, a few other places.

I've had where gigs will... Maybe they're just lying, but like in California, like they'll withhold some of the actual money and say, we just send this straight to California and never actually give it to you. You don't pay the taxes. We just go ahead and send them.

That feels fake. the middleman. I never even have to, I never even had to touch it. Thanks, guys. I've had a-flood right there. A merch tax where they take a little bit for merch. Yeah. Like a venue will do that, right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, we talked about this before, I think. But, yeah, me and Aaron did a venue one time, and I was selling CDs. Carrie, North Carolina. Yeah, North Carolina. Yeah, and I was selling CDs. I sold one CD. They told me they were going to take 1% or something, 10%.

They took 10% of all the money you make from merch. I sold one CD for $10. And I told the CD for $10. guy. I go, yeah, I sold one CD. And he goes, all right, well, I guess just do a dollar then. And Dusty goes, I don't have a dollar. He goes, you got a 10, I'll make change for you. We waited there for like 10 minutes for the guy to get $1. Have you ever told that on stage? No. That's so funny. Next time you're in care. You got to make you say, hey, I don't have any merch with me, but if you see me

in my car after the show, I may have, I may be able to find some. I think I might sell merch out of my truck. Yeah. I'm going to write it down. I need some new jokes Dusty what do you think of this You want to run through some joke ideas on the podcast? Yeah I got a joke about tax I had a joke about taxes

Let's hear it And an old joke is my roommate one time We're doing. Are you doing Nateline live tonight? Yeah, I am. Do it on that. Okay, sorry. No, no, no, tell it on this and then do it on that.

Save it. And then people can judge at the end how it went. Okay, get to the audience. It's a joke I've done before. I just haven't done it in a while. It's my old roommate. It was like our first apartment. We're both out of the end.

of college, we're young, and, you know, we're doing our taxes and all that stuff. And I got home, my roommate was like, God, dude, don't you, he goes, man, he's taxes, dude. He goes, man, don't you, man, I miss the 90s, man. And I was like, what? He goes, yeah, the 90s, dude, we didn't have to do taxes. I was like, well, we were kids. That's why we didn't earn any money.

That's not why we weren't doing tax. It's because we were children. He goes, ah, I never thought about that. Did Clinton was the best, man. Yeah. Yeah, that's where I was like, dude, don't you miss the 80s when nobody was here? That's great. Yeah, yeah, that was an old joke.

That's a hot job. I remember having a, there's a coworker I had at my old company that was always saying crazy stuff. And he goes, man, I think my wife and I're going to start having kids. Like, we don't know if we're ready for kids, but like those tax breaks are just like, they're great. I mean, I don't think it covers the cost of a child. You're going to make money. I don't think you're coming out. This isn't a money-making endeavor.

He was like, yeah, I think we might try to have like two or three like next couple years just, you know, for the tax breaks. I was just like, you can't be, first of all, what a heartless way to decide to grow your family. Here's my three tax breaks. Here's my little right off. Yeah, right off. One, two, and three. Maybe that's why he does these faking having kids.

Yeah. The tax breaks. He's doing it for tax breaks. That's why there's no monitor. He doesn't like to be money. Joe Zimmerman has a, I've told it before here, it's such a great joke about filing taxes. He's like, every other country, you know, they just tell you what you owe. And here, they're like, add it up. He's like, I'm very unorganized. What happens if I get it wrong? Well, you may go to jail.

Yeah, exactly. He's like, just tell me. And they're like, nope, got to guess. Yeah. Why don't you guess? Yeah. We know the exact amount. We'll just tell it. Nope, got to add it up. Yeah. Dusty, what do you think about this, a social media tax. In Uganda, they have a tax. on social media platforms designed to control gossip. I think that's one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. How does it work? Any new tax is a bad tax. And I think we should always let Uganda do it first and then...

Good trial run over there. They're like AAA baseball. Yeah. Can you look that up here? We're calling up this policy. What is a big league? Uganda gossip tax. The Yonda gossip tax.

So you get text for every post or only if it's deemed gossip? My guess is you just get a limit on how many things you could post to kind of keep the spreading of misinformation. Well, that does feel kind of... My favorite thing on Twitter is just watching Dusty reply to other people's post. I love it so much. It is so funny to me, him trolling people. Is there a time of day where that's like your go-to or is it just when you... It's like when you're flying, right?

Yeah, when I'm in the airport or sometimes, you know, if I'm just... sitting around and I don't know, I get on Twitter. And then I'll see a post and I'll go, oh, this could be funny. And then I just try to, then I start looking for them. Yeah. Yeah. Get into it. The gossip tax

will charge 200 Ugandan shillings or about five cents a day to subscribers using WhatsApp, Twitter, Facebook, and similar sites. It also creates a 1% tax on any mobile money transaction. So,

Venmo, anything like that. Uganda and chilling is not doing well, is it? 200 to 5 cents. Yeah. Is there anything crazy you guys have ever deducted because of your job? You're like, I can't believe. Can't wait that?

Feels like a trap question. Yeah. Do you work for the IRS or what? I'm not comfortable talking about. Speaking to the mic. No, I have never done any questionable write-offs. You can write off like somebody is so far. I went to the H&R Block one year.

Like the first year, it was like complicated for me with all the comedy because you get all the, you know, you got to file taxes and all the states you perform. I remember the first year I was like overwhelmed with the amount of stuff. So I went to the H&R Block. And somebody told me you can write off haircuts, right? Because if you're a performer, you write off haircuts. So I had typed out all this stuff. And I still remember this lady. She was very nice.

Your documentation just before and after pictures of your haircuts. I had no documentation. I had. I just had haircut listed. And this very nice, sweet old ladies going through my stuff. She goes, all right, took that. Oh, he got yourself a haircut. And then deleted that off the list.

And I was like, come on, get the write off for me. But I don't know. You can do stuff like that, right? I don't know because I have someone that does it, thankfully, because it is, yeah, it is very confusing and complicated. It's incredibly complicated. But I think there are things that you can write off, especially as an entertainer, certain clothes that you buy. but I think it has to be performer clothes.

You can't, you know. When I've asked our guy in the past, he got for clothes and stuff, he's like, yeah, I mean, if you buy it just to wear for specifically on stage, but if you're also going to wear it offstage, technically the correct way is to write off of the percentage you're going to wear it estimated for work. The same way you do like your phone bill or internet bill. Yeah. What percentage of your home internet activity is for work?

I don't know, 80%. And they go, okay, 80%. You can get away with 100. If you have a home office, I think you can do 100% internet because you just have it or you don't. So I think that one you can do 100. But like, you can do square footage for the home office,

but you can also apply like if we got a new HVAC system, I take the percentage of my home office square footage to my whole house and apply that amount of the new HVAC system as a write-off. Like there's a lot of stuff you can apply to that. Is the accounting industry lobbying to, to keep these things incredibly complicated so that they have a job. I'm sure. But I was like chat GPT will answer a lot of questions you used to need accountants for.

Okay. Who knows if it's right? But it'll answer a lot of questions. It doesn't matter. Let's waste some water and let's find out some stuff. Yeah. Yeah, I saved $80 this year, but I drained. I killed a family farm.

Yeah. Poor Memphis, but I got $80. Oh, wow. some weird but legally approved deductions. Okay. Breast implants. The exotic dancer successfully argued that her breast implants were specialized business equipment. Okay.

One. Cat food. Junkyard owner was allowed to deduct cat food because the cats were brought in to control snakes and rodents. Smart. Yeah. Smart. Yeah. Clarinet lessons.

Declared a medical expense because orthodontist said it would help fix an overbite. Oh, how about that? like that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. My therapist thinks I need an Xbox and write that off. Stress relief.

You know, if you play the Xbox on stage, you're 10 minutes every night. Exactly. Yeah, I used to hope that it would work out the way that, like, all right, if I want to write something off, I just need to write a joke about that thing. Yeah. And then I can say, well, I got this thing because I had a joke about it. Yeah. And apparently that's not.

Took a whole family. They see right through that. Whole family vacation. and I wrote a joke about it right off the whole trip. Yeah. And I talked to my wife about business on the flight. Exactly. Yeah, if we talked a little bit about comedy at lunch, that's a business lunch.

Yeah, just write it off. Let me ask you this dumb accounting question. We'll get back to that. Sorry, Brian, interrupt, but I've been thinking about this. If something is less than zero, something's negative, it's in the red. Right? So you're in the red if you're at below zero profit. I think that's right.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. That is correct. Yeah, yeah. You're in the black? I feel like a trick question. And in the black.

He's the funniest. He's not the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It also pretty loose with the accountant when it came to it. But if it's positive, you're in the what? In the black. In the black. Why is it not the green?

I always think it should be green. Like stoplights? Like stopping green like goods. Well, red, you're clearly not stopping. Yeah, but in the, yeah. If it's in the negative, you're out of control. The red continue to go. You're trying to get your life together.

But I think a lot of people think it's in the, I'm in the green or I'm in the red. But it's in the black. I think it's just the color of ink you use in an old school ledger where you're writing stuff. I think red and black pins. Oh, like a teacher correcting a paper with a red pen.

Yeah, I think it's probably based on the ink color from when they used to do it manually. Wow. But that's a guess. That's a guess. We'll never know. Is that the kind of stuff we like to learn on this podcast? That's an IRS type of it.

I can't wait for your next guest to have to deal with the comments about that not being true. Oh, they'll be like, never have this guy on again. I can't believe that he. Look at this. In the black refers to profitability because accountants historically use black ink to record positive earnings while red ink was used for losses. How about that? You nailed it. I'm going back to my old job.

I feel a renewed enthusiasm for the industry. It's that kind of. exciting thing that keeps accountants in the business. But when you look at a spreadsheet, you want to see green everywhere. You do want to. You don't want to open up a spreadsheet and everything's red. Then you're like, oh, no. That's why a lot of teachers, do you remember this? There was a push a few years ago for teachers to no longer use red ink when they corrected a paper. Does anybody remember this? Because it was like too aggressive. It apparently would create anxiety and all these things in the kids because the red just looked so aggressive on the paper.

So the teachers started using purple and green. and orange and other colors. But getting it wrong should have a little bit of an anxiety feel to it. But if the paper's a mess and the whole thing's read, it's shocking. You don't want to be feeling fun about all your wrong answers. My dad tells a story that he was such a bad student one time. He got a math test back and it didn't have a grade at the top. The teacher just wrote, no.

Wow. Just like didn't even say anything else. Wow. No, this is not right. That's what our mom used to do on if we got groceries, she didn't want us to eat. She would write on it with a Sharpie. No, no.

So you'd be digging through the... Or watch you had to do that. You'd be digging through the pantry. And you go, oh, some triscuits? You're kidding me? Just looking for no. For unmarked food. Schools are increasingly banning or discouraging red ink for grading,

favoring colors like green, purple, or blue to reduce student anxiety, stress in the stigma of failure associated with danger ink. educators argue that red ink is harsh, demotivating, and visually aggressive. Some studies actually suggest it will cause teachers to mark more heavily. How about that? I feel like that's really going to help. And I'm glad they're doing it. Have any of you ever asked for an extension?

Almost every year, yeah. You do? But you don't, you think, you don't have, you don't get to extend when you pay. It's just the filing. You just have to do all. You have to show your work later, but you still have to pay on time. I've never done that. But how do you know?

You never filed for an extension. You get the October. How do you know what to pay if you haven't done it? That's the quagmire. It's still a guess. Yep. You just guess the best you can overpay and then you get the difference. Yeah.

That's probably the safe route today. That's a good feeling. You can ballpark it and then overpay. The nice thing if you pay quarterly, like you are kind of guessing, and then at the end you hope that you went overboard. But don't they always say the best thing to do is to try to break even?

Who says that? You don't want to overpay because technically you just let the government have your money and earn zero. Well, have your fun with it, build some schools, and then give it back. You want to be in control of your own money as much time as possible.

I trust the government more than me. Yeah, me too. I think I don't know how to Fix roads, but the government does. Listen, I just want them to hold it for me for a while so I don't go crazy and they give it back. Yeah, exactly. You got hold this.

I'm going to get out of control. Don't let me have this. You know me. I can't be dressed over this. They'll use it to the best of their ability. Responsibly. That's right. You don't think you could fix a road?

Do you think if the government is shut down, whatever percentage of the year they were shut down, you should get a tax credit back for whatever number of days? That's true. That's true. They've been shut down quite a bit. They've been shutting down. Approximately 19 to 20 million Americans, roughly 10 to 15% of filers requests a automatic six-month tax extension each year.

What percent? 10 to 15%. Okay. So you're one of the special, top 10%. Yeah. I did it on time this year. It's pretty great. It feels good.

Feels good to be done with it. Approximately two-thirds of Americans get a tax refund each year. So that's the Auburn double days right there. What is that? It's a minor league baseball thing. Not Auburn, Alabama. No, I don't know. New York.

I just noticed that the A was a mustache. Yeah, yeah, that's fun. Yeah. Or I'll do that again. Probably two-thirds of American taxpayers receive a tax refund annually. Average refund amount is approximately $3,571. All right. It's pretty good.

Yeah. You usually get a refund? Pretty nice. No. The first year I didn't, I was furious, too, because I had no idea. I'd go, what? Because I've been getting before comedies, I'll get, you know, you get a little bit back on taxes and he goes, this is how it works. Everybody makes money on tax day. Nope. You pay a lot. Yep. What about you, Dusty? No. You don't get a refund? No, even when I was working a nine to five, I guess I was filing, I was, you know, filling out the wrong form. And I was paying taxes even then. Yeah. Even when they were supposed to be withholding it for you. Yeah, I've never been excited about tax.

day. Somebody took advantage of you. I've always been paying. I did finally get a tax guy for a few years in Charleston, and he was able to get me a little bit back, but not very much. We were trying to break even, as you said, because you didn't want to pay. Right. In this world, nothing could be said to be certain except death and taxes. Filippians 12, 14. That's not funny. And that's the end of the episode. Is that Philippians? Obey God and leave all the consequences. That's Benjamin Franklin.

Okay. Just want to see if anybody would question me on that. Pay taxes and leave all the consequences that go. You say Philippians 413? That's the love. Yeah, okay. That's the one. Yeah.

If I said that, it's probably... Well, I thought Philippians 413 was I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Oh, yeah. First Corinthians 13 is the loved one, I think. Okay. Oh, you said, okay, Philippians. Yeah, my bad. Yeah, sorry about that, guys.

It's the New Testament. I do so. You can set this one out. He's like, no spoilers, guys. No spoilers, guys. Don't tell me what happened. I'm still in season one. All right, let's talk about some celebrities. He went to jail for tax evasion.

Wesley Snipes. First one on the list. Served over two years for family to file federal income tax returns. Yeah. That's pretty bad. Yeah, that's got to be people taking advantage of them, right? Somebody giving them bad advice. Somebody goes, man, I'll handle all your money, man.

Don't worry about it. I guess so. And then he just finds out they haven't been paying taxes. I can certainly understand once I started working for myself, how it could happen. Because, yeah, I had a day job for almost 20 years where they just take it out as you go. And then you start doing yourself, like, oh, well, this is different. Pete Rose. Okay.

Sir, five months for tax evasion. Did he really? Yeah. Wow, I didn't know that. He got caught gambling and tax evasion. I caught doing a lot. Unfortunately. Willie Nelson had his asset seized in 1990.

He was forced to pay over $16 million in back taxes and penalties. That's a bad day. He put out an album, I think, just to pay the IRS. Was it called the IRS tapes or something like that? I don't know. You know a Willie Nelson fan? I do like Willie Nelson, but I'm not the – he's not one of my favorites, really. Yeah.

Because of the crime. You pay your taxes, buddy. He loved him until then. I do like Willie Nelson, but yeah. The IRS tapes, who are my favorites, who are my favorite? by my memories is the 39th studio album by Willie Nelson. Thirty-ninth

album. And that was what year? It only generated... Ninety-two. Yeah. Yeah, it was distributed by phone order in 91. Yeah, 3.6 million. And then they were like, we need another nine million, please. Willie Nelson

just, he has some really incredible songs. Some really incredible ones. But yeah, 39 albums. He's like the Bob Dylan of country music out here and it's just so much that I don't know I know I have some friends that are diehard Willie Nelson fans they love I mean he's their favorite and I like him well you don't have time to listen to anyone else right exactly got to consume all what's your favorite willy Nelson's song uh I don't know there's so many I mean it's hard to say a favorite I like

bra James over here well blue eyes crying in the rain is uh I don't know if that's the name of the song but that blue uh blue sky smiling at me like a blue sky songs. He has a song called The Last Thing I Needed, the First Thing This Morning, a really great song. On the Road Again? On the Road Again is a good one. I mean, that's one of those it's like, it's so popular and mainstream. That it's hard to even, you know, it's like that, that song's like almost transcended. It's bigger than him. Yes. He has 104 studio album. Seven Spanish Angels. Makes sense. With Willie Nelson and Ray Charles, so good. He has so many, Albums that there's debate over what the actual number is.

Yeah, like, we can't keep track. It's between 150 and 156 total albums. Willie Nelson and Leon Russell have an album together. Love that album. He wrote Crazy for Patsy Clay. Crazy, yeah. Isn't that crazy? Wow.

That's a little song. He also has an album with A Sleep at the Wheel, little Western Swing kind of stuff. Love that album. So I have a long list to hear of these celebrities who've gone to prison for tax evasion. Do you think sometimes it was probably worth it to him? Like, because I assume once you serve your time, your debts cleared. I think about it like, you know, in college, I didn't pay for a parking pass on campus.

Yeah. So I would just park illegally. And I got three or four parking tickets. I did the math and I actually came out in the black. Mm. You know, if you, I bet some of these guys, they ended up stealing more than they were penalized for. Why do they call it the black? It's hard to remember.

Yeah, it is hard to remember. Because I. Yeah. Well, I think that's the frustration. is a lot of these very wealthy people end up paying tax penalties. And it's like, I think they still came out on top. You think you're in the black in your life with parking tickets? The amount of times you've been eligible for a parking ticket versus the amount of money you've actually been charged for a parking ticket? No. I think you're, you don't think you don't,

well, when I live in, you think every time you've parked illegally, you've gotten a ticket? No, but I, when I lived, I lived, I lived in Charleston, the last couple of years that I had a car. I didn't have a parking place at my downtown apartment, and I used to get ticketed, towed, booted, all the time. On the same day. I would drink and drive home, and then I would walk to my apartment, and the next morning come out to my car,

and I didn't know if it got towed or if I just didn't remember where I parked. And so I don't think I'm ahead. Okay. I may be, I'm probably a special case in that, but I don't think I'm ahead. I'd say I'm ahead. Yeah.

Having your car get towed is a really bad feeling because it's like all of a sudden you have a whole project you have to do. Yeah. Well, there's my whole day now. We experience it together. My car got towed on the road. And it takes a while to realize what happened.

Yeah. Because you're like, I must have parked somewhere else. Exactly. And there's no sign. There's no like, hey, here's a message so that you know what happened. They just go find the clues. And Charleston, you would have to go to the police

department to get a release form to then go to, then go to the tow truck company to get your car. And they would really, at the police department, really take their sweet time getting you that. So you get an Uber or something or get a friend to drop you off. And you're like texting them, sorry, dude.

I don't know why it's taking so long. And you got, I can't, I drove my car to do laundry one time. And I parked in a spot. And I came out with my freshly folded laundry to see my car being torn away. If you wouldn't have folded it, you would have got there. Exactly. Exactly.

What did you do? Always folded her. I had to call a friend and he came and picked me up and... Just holding your laundry waiting for your friend? Yeah. It's a good reason to have friends, huh? Yeah, it is. You could have been really out of look.

Yeah. That's one of the main reasons to make friends in case stuff like that happens. Exactly. Gets cold, you have to start putting it all on? Yeah. You know, Dusty, they say to ward that late frost that comes every spring, don't plant till tax day. Okay.

You ever heard that? At least in Tennessee. I hear a lot of. the things a lot of people will say don't even plant until after Mother's Day because you might get another. Well, I'm sure that's probably true. You're thinking of wearing white. Yeah, that's the way. That's the Mother's Day one. But yeah, I mean, it is very frustrating to go out and plant a bunch of things only to have it get cold because even some of these plants, even a little cold, it won't kill them, but it will like, like, stunt them in a way to where you think you got it out.

out early, but if you had held it in, then it now grows slower because it was stunted. You ever know if frost is coming, you go put one of those little boxes over your plants, so they always looks like, how would it keep it any warmer? Yeah, I have put, they do have frost blankets. Yeah. And I think the idea is that the physical frost doesn't hit them. You know, in fourth grade or fifth grade, I broke my wrist. I broke the growth plate in my wrist.

Oh, no. And a kid at school told me, well, that means that arm's not going to grow anymore. Oh, no. And I, for like weeks, I thought, I'm just going to be an adult with one arm that much longer. And then I told that to my doctor and he was like, nah, you're good. But I was real worried for a lot. Yeah, I'd say so. Stunt your growth.

That just made me think about it. You never asked your parents? No, I don't want to burden them with things like that. You know, I'll just deal with this on my own. Back then, like, I don't know, I don't know how just shove that down. I don't know if the internet was around, you know, but. It was around. But when before that, a kid could tell you something.

school. And you go, yeah. And you'd be like, oh, no, you believe that's, that's the way it's going to be. Totally. Yeah. And you have to ask somebody else and look like an idiot. My sister told me one time she goes, if you go to sleep, laugh and you wake up crying. Well, that is true. That sounds like a Willie Nelson song. In like a lion out like a land. Well, that's it, guys. It's tax day. Go file your taxes. Get on it now if you haven't. Stop listening to this if you've not failed your taxes. This was more fun than I thought.

Not not, not. We all felt that way. I knew Andrew would be a great guest. What a relief. But when Brian pitched the idea to do a tax episode, I was against it. Yeah, Dusty goes, it's going to be hard for me to be not be negative about taxes. I go, yeah, I don't think it's going to be us just talking about how taxes are great. It started that way.

Well, I think they are. Ironically. I'm staying in character. Yeah. And the next week, Jane Doe can criticize me for my love of taxes. Yeah, I hope she does. Yeah. I can't wait to comment to people's comments.

Well, should we talk about where we're going to be? Let's talk about it. May 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd. I'm going to be in Denver, Colorado, Greeley, Colorado, and then two nights in... It's funny the way... Colorado. Sorry, man. I feel you're doing it all perfect.

Well, I'm not. Colorado. You're going to be in Ottawa? Say it again. Sorry. I want to get you a clean take. I always assumed his hair was attached to his hat. His hat's first time I've ever seen the top of dust he's head.

Wow. Big moment in the podcast. Yeah, and you were here for it. Wow. You pulled that out of him, Brian. I've lost all momentum in my pitch. No, no, no, no. Do it again.

Start it clean. Sorry. In Denver, Colorado. There you go. And then I'm going to be in Greeley, Colorado. And then I'm going to be two nights in Casper, Wyoming. Say 20th through 23rd. I've been to Greeley.

I like it there. Well, that's great. Thank you. Go ahead, Edry. This is coming out on the 15th. I am tonight and tomorrow night opening for Jeff Foxworthy in Duluth, Georgia, for his, what he's called his last comedy special taping.

Wow. And you're there. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Big historic moments. I'm excited. Yeah. So those will be fun. You know, I open for Jeff Fox

on a comedy special team. Does he talk about me? I'm in the credits. Opening comedian in the credits. I'm in the credits. Was it a good special? Yeah. Yeah.

You did a guess because you did such a good job. I don't know. He carried his own weight there. Yeah, you think he carried the Jeff Fox's really special. You may be a redneck. It was whatever his one was before this one, you know, his latest one, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, maybe he'll do like the Eagles, and there'll be a bunch of last ones. Yeah. Then this weekend, I'm in Detroit and Grand Rapids. The other Grand Rapids, Michigan one, with Kathleen Madigan, April 17th and 18th. And then I do a recurring show in Atlanta at the new Atlanta Helium.

Andrew Stanley has friends, and my next one of those is June 24th. Those have been really fun. Is Jeff Foxworthy ever pop to you? He did the last one. Wow. He came and did the one last month. That's pretty exciting.

Pretty cool pop at the end of the show to be like, I even texted Aaron and I was like, hey, you do this a lot. How do I bring Jeff out in a way that like doesn't ruin the show for everyone? Aaron, you introduce comics more famous than you. Yeah. How would you handle this dynamic? Were you talking about me? Yeah.

I was like, when you bring Brian out as a surprise guest at your shows, do you wait till the end or do you pop him in the middle and then try to follow him? That's right. But Andrew, very funny comedian. He's been great for a long time. He taped a special that's going to be out at some point. Hopefully some fun news about that soon. Yeah.

Yeah. So if you haven't checked on Andrew before, go check him out. Very funny. It's been a long time coming having you here. So I appreciate you. I'm excited. Thank you guys for having me.

It's awesome. We were pumped to have you. This weekend is Aaron Weber speaking. I'm going to be at Zanis, Nashville, right here in Nashville, Tennessee, the capital city. Come on out to see me at Zanis Comedy Club, April 17. 18th, first weekend in the big room for me. Saturday's almost sold out. Friday's looking good, too, coming to one of those shows. And then looking forward, I'm going to be in Salt Lake City,

May 1st and 2nd in May, and May 1st and 2nd. And then May 3rd in May, I'm going to be in Washington, D.C. at the D.C. Improv, one night only. Aaron Webercomedy.com, all my dates on there. Come out and see me. We're having fun. Thanks. Okay. We're having a good order. We're obey God. and I forgot what. All right. Okay.

I got a lot of dates on my website, dusty slay.com, but May 2nd, I'm in Dallas, Texas, and then May 3rd, no, no. May 1st, I'm in Dallas, Texas. May 2nd, I'm in Houston, Texas. So come check those out. Those are going to be great. And, you'll be out in L.A. Yeah, be out in L.A.

Irvine, California. A lot coming. up. Weekend at the mothership coming again. That's awesome. Yeah, it's going to be great. All right. Yeah. Go ahead, Dusty. Well, yeah, and go see Brian out in Colorado. And I love it. I think that it's bad that a lot of accents have gone away. We're all molded together now. It's no flavor to it as a... We're too homogenized. Yeah, so I like it. I love it. It makes me laugh. What's more of it? That you said Colorado, but I love it.

It gives me a Western-type feel. Yeah, I saw you loved it. Yeah. It makes me laugh, but I love it. So, hey, thank you guys for listening. This is the Public Figures podcast, and we're having a good time. This message comes from Capital One Commercial Bank. Your business requires commercial banking solutions that prioritize your long-term success.

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