The Nateland Podcast - #117 Gas Stations

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

  This week, Nate's back from Phoenix so the guys get an update on his new comedy special. Then they delve into the important topic of gas stations. Nate, Aaron, Dusty, and Breakfast debate gas station etiquette, pumping procedures, and the most popular items to buy at a convenience store.     Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]   PrizePicks - PrizePicks.com   ● Download the PrizePicks app or go to PrizePicks.com to sign up and play daily fantasy sports!  ● First time users can receive a 100% instant deposit match up to $100 dollars with promo code NATE ● If you deposit $100, PrizePicks will give you $100. If you deposit $50, PrizePicks will give you $50.  ● Don’t forget to enter promo code NATE at sign up for an instant deposit match up to $100 dollars!   Liquid IV - LiquidIV.com Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulk nationwide at Costco or get 15% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.COM and use code NATE at checkout. That’s 15% off ANYTHING you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code NATE at LIQUIDIV.COM.   Mizzen + Main - MizzenandMain.com   So if you want the BEST damn dress shirts money can buy, check out Mizzen+Main. Right now if you go to MizzenAndMain.com and use promo code NATE, you’ll receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more.   That’s $35 off when you go to MIZZENANDMAIN.com and use our promo code NATE.    Beard Club - BeardClub.com/Nate    Grow your best beard today and take 20% off your first order when you go to BeardClub.com/nate and use code nate. That’s BeardClub.com/nate, code nate for 20% off your first order.

Hello, folks. Welcome to the Dateland podcast. I've not read anything all weekend, I don't think. You forgot? I forgot how to read. All right. Here we go. Hello, folks. Hey, Bear. I had this morning, because you were going to read The Beard Club, and Laura says, does Dusty have a beard?

That's how much I'm out of it. Wow. For some reason, I was picturing not much of a beard. Yeah, well. Then I looked at you right now, and I was like, yeah, it's a lot of beard. Well, I can't criticize my own beard after reading beardclub.com. Well, it's going to get in better shape. It is going to get in better shape.

But yeah, I mean. I mean, I should know you have a beard. I don't know. I'm saying that I was kind of out of the, I slept till, I slept forever today. I was out of it. Yeah. My voice is not, if it's, yeah, hopefully it sounds okay. Enough to, but it was like, yeah, Arizona air, I think, just got to me.

Well, you had a big weekend, too. I had a big weekend. What happened? They, I don't know, I can't even think of a joke. This one's me. So we did, I shot my special. I might have a title for it. I don't know.

Do we always get a bunch of titles? We did. Yeah. Were they good? Any of them good? A lot of hay bears. Yeah. Oh, boy.

Let's go, folks. Civilian Station. Very creative. Yeah. I got an idea how about hey bear yeah

thought of that one uh we uh uh yeah so anyway I shot that special I shot the special it went awesome

Phoenix is awesome uh doing it in the round was great uh it was it was man look at that

yeah it was it was it was very very cool we had they did some uh you know uh the the way they did it the the the stage looks so good uh it's i don't know the top had like these lights that were over me like we had this overhead shot that i think will be shown and it it was just, it was super cool.

The crowd was so great. Supposedly, I don't know for sure, but someone told me afterwards that I think there could have been a fight that broke out. You know, I got an email this morning from someone who said, was it the late show? Yeah. They apologized because they said his wife, her hair, I guess, was hanging over the seat, the guy behind him. And the guy put his knee on her hair to pin it against the chair. Yeah.

And they got into a, not a fist fight, but they got in a big argument. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I heard. Yeah, well, he emailed us. Oh, that guy did? Yeah. Oh, wow. See? Arizona's wild. Yeah. It is wild out there. Yeah, it was what I heard. Yeah, well, he emailed us. Oh, that guy did. Yeah. Oh, wow. See?

Arizona is wild. Yeah. It is wild out there. Yeah, it was dusty. Yeah. That's very nice, though, the email. And I'm sure both of them are nice. That's awesome.

Yeah. Even, you know, I hate that something like that happened, but it was real quick. It was quick enough that I didn't have to there was i didn't have to address it i just kind of heard it i just heard like a loud something and then uh and then it was it was over and then i just i kind of heard it but it was enough that i was not you know long enough that i was like i just kind of kept going and uh that's so crazy that's exactly what i heard happen so that's very we'll tell them you know it's all right it's also weird to have to be like hey could you get your hair

out off of me you know what i mean well she's saying that they pinned her hair right but it was dangling all behind well if you have long hair so you take that guy's side yeah yeah i'm like yeah can you maybe get your hair under control? Yeah. But, I mean, I wasn't there. He said the only reason it's touching the guy is because the guy's taking his knee and pinning it against the back of her chair. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's, yeah, it's like the seat in the airplane when they push your back. You can either, you just deal with it and be annoyed with it which is how i would handle it probably a lot of people handle it or you can hit the seat and so it's it's gonna be that's how you're gonna handle it and the one emailing seems to be the one with the hair so the other guy didn't email and say anything uh so maybe we need to hear from him right now i'm on team hair so so the the guy who got mad about he's the one who had the wife with the hair yeah he's the one that he met yeah she's gonna show up they should go to another outing and sit in front of that guy she shaved her head she goes does this make you happy now and then they get so i sat in the second

show i watched the whole thing it was. So I sat in the second show. I watched the whole thing. It was awesome to just sit in the crowd and watch. And I had a real out-of-character moment. The guy in front of me, every joke you did, he would turn to his side and be like, I would do that. Yeah. Like relating to all your jokes, but in an annoying way. Yeah. And I had a really out-of-character moment.

I leaned forward. I grabbed the dude on the shoulder, and I go, enough. Whoa. Wow. Maybe that's what you heard character moment. I leaned forward. I grabbed the dude on the shoulder and I go enough. Whoa. Wow. Maybe that's what you heard. Maybe that it felt awesome. Did his wife have long hair? Yeah.

Aaron, is this what we're getting to? It was you. I said enough, dude. And then I leaned back and I thought about the whole show, you know, right when the show ended, I go, Hey, sorry about that, man. He was like, no, it's fine. I told you Arizona's wild. It's too hot.

It's just too hot out there. There's not enough humidity. You need some. But I've never confronted anybody in a moment like that. Do you think that guy even knew what you meant by enough? I don't think I know. He heard the tone of my voice. He knew what was going on.

He knew he was misbehaving. So he's relating to Nate's comedy and having a good time, and you told him to stop. But thousands of other people were doing that without conversing about it right after the joke. We needed you in the audience of the shows we did in Arizona. Yeah, probably. I had Aaron walk around.

If people laughed too loud, not high enough, he would just keep them kind of at bay. If they weren't really laughing, he's like, not enough. Not enough. Not enough. Up, up, up, up, up. And then if they started laughing too loud, I'd go, what are we doing? Aaron just grabs his shoulder. Hey, what are we doing?

And if their hair was too long, he would just pin it to the chair. Yeah. I was a menace just just walking around measuring putting their hands down make sure their dresses went far enough down not enough not enough hey you're dressing shorts hope you enjoy the back row get her back there uh no i look i get it it's people it It's that's always tough. People are excited. People get, you know, it's hard to say. It is nice. It's like just like I know it's you're caught up in the moment and it's like I understand it.

But always remember, you might have Aaron sitting behind you. I can't even enjoy shows, though, anymore, like in the crowd, because everything people do irritate me. Like when I'm in the audience that I, that's what I want to do. I saw a show, I saw Todd Snyder at the Ryman this weekend, and people were yelling out requests and things, and I just want them all to be quiet. I can't even, people were talking to each other in the front row, probably not even bothering the show, and it just, it was bothering me.

It's ruined the experience for me. Yeah. Yeah, it's tough. I mean, you know, I don't know. People get excited and it's like they do it, but Aaron handles it for us. Yeah. Enough. I love that.

Enough. Wow. I've never spoken like that ever. It just came out, man. Do you think, did you listen to the podcast? This guy didn't know who I was. Yeah. I was just a weird dude behind it.

That's the big risk. Yeah. There's a great chance a ton of people in that room know who I was. I was just a weird dude behind him. That's the big risk. Yeah. Is there's a great chance a ton of people in that room know who you are. Yeah. So that's the risk you took. That's more than even being in confrontation. You're doing it. That's like doing it at a fan reunion where you're like, I don't know everybody.

Not everybody knows me, but there's a great chance. Imagine that guy listens to the podcast for the first time after the special. Yeah. And hears this moment. And he goes, you're that guy. He's like, I've been looking for that guy. Yeah. I hope he's learned a lesson.

Found him. I love this. Overall, everybody, look, it was an awesome night. It was awesome, man. I was glad you were there. Met all the Webbers. Yeah. Which was very fun. It's a lot. It's a lot. It was a lot.. It was awesome, man. I was glad you were there. I met all the Webbers. Yeah. Which was very fun.

It's a lot. It's a lot. It was a lot. But they were all super cool. I always think, I always, you know, I joke around. You know, I don't want them to be mad, but they're all, they love it. Yeah. And they got robbed immediately.

And they don't want to handle them. I was yelling that as they walked away down a sketchy street. I said, this group right here. They've never been on a street like this before. But they, yeah, the whole night was great. The show went great. You know, we try to think, I mean, yeah, my voice is like this. It was like my voice started because I was there for like nine days,

and it was just that dry air starts hitting you. And then so I think it takes your, it was like towards the end. And just the amount of just like everything going on. It was just a lot. But we hung out, kept it kind of calm with Albuquerque. Albuquerque was great the night before. I did, I ended up doing like 67 minutes and 70 minutes on both shows, which I was very excited about.

So the pacing was very good. Uh, I liked around, I liked walking around. Uh, we had some fun stuff, you know, there's like little,

little things you see, like, you know, in the opening. And I, I get handed a microphone by somebody. Uh, and it's, it's, but there's somebody who's, you know in the opening and i i get handed a microphone by somebody uh and it's it's but there's somebody's you know you're you might not recognize it first but then you will uh not famous just my family but then uh yeah the whole i don't know the whole thing was awesome and it's and then

today i think yesterday on the flight home i was like writing down all right going through some jokes that I told as we were building this hour and trying to write some of them down to be like, all right, what do I have that's not on this hour? This morning, I woke up with a panic. I'm just like, I don't know. What are you going to talk about? Because we're about to announce some of the 2023 tour, and it's going to be a big tour and a big year. And so when we announced it, I was just like, golly, because it's going to be all new material. And you're like, what on earth?

Did you feel this way after the last one too? Yeah, yeah. The last one, it just, maybe I felt more excited. Like the last one, I felt the same way, and it all just kind of came to who I went to Huntsville, went to some clubs. But, I mean, I got to go. Like, I'm going to have to go pop down Zany's and, like, I mean, but I'm on tour. So, it's like I'll just, from here to the end of the year, we'll be just trying to, like, filter out, you know, like, getting that in between. be just trying to like filter out you know like getting that in between i looked at because i went to phoenix to stand up live uh also before the start of the last tour just to work on like

my new hour and i and i was looking at that note card and i was still doing like a lot of stuff from the greatest average american but i don't think the greatest average American was out yet, but I was still, I still had a lot of stuff. And, but it, but it was like, just see that.

I looked at that card to then look at, I mean, this hour is like pretty different. There was, there were some jokes that were still that are in there, but it wasn't, I mean, they're very different now,

but it's just like, what are you going to talk? I don't, you know, I guess you just figure it out. Yeah, you always do. Yeah, it's brutal, though. It's not brutal. It's exciting, but it's just like, oh, gosh. What on earth?

Yeah, I mean, you know, you just got to. Yeah, it is hard. Keep going, keep going, right? Yeah, you got to just say things things and then i don't know it is wild though to just think about the idea that you like come up with new jokes right you have all these jokes you're like oh this is a good joke and then you think oh this like it parts of my life i would think oh this is the best joke i'm ever gonna write yeah and then you write you write more jokes then you're like oh i don't even like that joke.

The joke that I thought was the best joke I ever wrote, I don't even like. Yeah. It's amazing how it happens. Yeah, there's no rhyme or reason to it, and there's no formula. I mean, if you're like a joke writer,

there's a formula. If you're one-liners, or if you're, there's got to be somewhat of, you still got to come up with the ideas but yeah it's yeah because you got it i mean you figure it out on your own you know no one you know i mean i don't really know comics that have writers but uh i'm sure i know some do but yeah when you've got to do it on your own, you're like, yeah, I don't know. What am I going to do? All right.

We'll figure it out. It's going to be great. My name, I meant to have a picture. I don't have my phone. I had the badge that we had for backstage. My name was misspelled. Is it really? Yeah. Yeah, that's funny. You gotta love that. It just doesn't matter.

It's great. It never matters. It was B-A-R-T-A-Z-E or something. Like, just like, alright. Yeah. I'm only recording a special here. Yeah. No big deal. Yeah. Try to get it right

on the editing i guess right that's all you can hope yeah i watched yeah i mean because we uh carlin george carlin and louis ck did a special there which we watched those two this weekend it was it was it was kind of surreal not that i'm doing it for that reason or whatever. It is crazy to be like, golly. And Segura, I think, is about to take a special there, too. So we'll see. I'll let you know where it's going to come out. I do know. I don't think I can say yet.

I'll find out when I can say it, and I'll tell y'all. Hoping to be coming out in January and so yeah start the year off hot alright did y'all have anything regarding

this weekend I think it's going to segue nice into these comments they're about your special alright Grayson Allen dude basketball player weigh nice into these comments because they're about your special. All right. Grayson Allen. Sounds like a country singer. Dude basketball player.

Okay. He'd be the one that'd definitely get in a fight. And that's what he does. Yeah. We had tickets to this weekend's tapings of the special in Phoenix. On our way there, we got a call from our babysitter. Their house was flooding. So we had to turn around and go back.

As a consolation, I suggested we listen to this week's podcast and at least get in the mood. My wife, who has never seen Nate perform stand-up, said, this is who we were going to see. I laughed out loud and explained the live act is wildly better than the podcast, although I love the podcast. Thanks for giving us a good laugh, as always. That's very funny. She's like, man, although I love the podcast. Thanks for giving us a good laugh, as always. That's very funny. She's like, man, thank God the house flooded.

Sounds like she set it up. Dodged a bullet there, huh? She might have set it up. Yeah. Michelle Caulfield. We got to the theater early, so we had time to get to our seats well before the show started. A few minutes after we sat down, a couple sat down behind us. All of a sudden, I heard the man saying Nate Bargates over and over again. I realized he was trying to do a voice search on his phone to look up who Nate was, but because

he was saying Nate Bargates, he wasn't getting any search results. Apparently, they had no idea who they were there to see. I did hear them laughing a lot. So despite apparently not knowing who Nate was, I think they had a great time. There you go. Maybe it was the name tag that was tripping him up. That is true. Yeah. Or he thought you related to Bill Gates.

He thought this was a TED Talk of sorts. Oh. A Nate Barr Gates. Because how could he afford something like this? Well, obviously. Right. Right. He's in the Gates family. Oh. A Nate Barr Gates. Because how could he afford something like this? Well, obviously. Right. Right. He's in the Gates family. Yeah. Rick Peterson. They started

filling seats up front for people that didn't show up. And Usher came up to the row that me and my son were sitting in, which was the last row. He said, Hey, poor people. You want to come fill in some seats? Not the exact quote, but close. He did say poor people. So we got to move down super not the exact quote but close he did say poor people so we got to move down super close to the stage once we got seated a guy from our row was

like did he just call us poor people to justify yes and while it might seem rude look at where we look at where we are nate killed it of course yeah whoever they were just being funny uh that was nate's but if you're poor, why are you buying such bad seats? You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. If you got Gates money, you'll be sitting up front. You know what I mean? Up front, baby.

Listen, I would have been back there with you. And I'm the kind of poor that they would not even offer me the up front seats. Yeah. They'll be like, this group of poor people, not this group. You'd be a distraction in the special. Right. We're like, we don be a distraction in the special. Right. We don't want you in the video a lot. They would ask you to get back to work.

Right. Yeah. Hey, poor people, you want to move up front? And what are you doing? Yeah. Lunch break's over, bud. Shift's over, buddy. Ryan Peterson.

Nate, my wife and I are coming to your show in Cedar Rapids. I was wondering if the show is going to be the same as your special. Can't wait to see you. Also, do you know who the opener is? Yeah. I mean, that's like next week or something, two weeks. Yeah, that will be the same. I'll probably have some new jokes.

The rest of this year will be a lot of probably as close to that special. It's the January is what i'm looking for to be switched over uh to new and worst case you end up having to do some greatest hits at the end which i might do anyway if people have seen this special just you know but uh oh you know yeah cedar rapids though this reminds me of that guy at aaron's show one time then you say a guy was like when you guys coming back and you were like i don't, probably a year or so, got to write some new jokes. He goes, oh, don't tell me this stuff is made up. What does he say?

He goes, oh, don't tell me y'all thought about that ahead of time. Yeah, like you're all just amazing improv geniuses. You think I'm the greatest comedian of all time? We all just riffed for an hour and a half? Yeah. If you could riff a pure act. The thing is, too, is I don't think people are giving you enough credit. have the greatest comedian of all time we all just riffed for an hour and a half yeah if you could rift a pure act the thing is too is i don't think people are giving you enough credit like even that guy would be like well you should you should be bowing down to me if i could

if i could have an act together that i do differently every night that that's that tight yeah there's just no way yeah it's like people don't like putting an act together to where it's like becomes what it is, this presentable act. I mean, it's just, it takes forever. I have no cards.

Maybe one day we'd show, I could show the Phoenix, the jokes I was doing at Phoenix to the special, from the first to the end, to show you how different. I wonder if people, yeah. It just changes to where people think you're, even if they were at both shows, they think it's different. Because it kind of is.

It's like the topic would be the same. Yeah. But it's just the rhythm. Everything gets so much tighter, and it gets presented in this perfect pack you know or as close to perfect package and that's and it takes a long time to do it i wish i could write it like that like that guy once yeah i mean it's like how expensive were these tickets you think that you're seeing a guy that can just come out and just do it? You want to go, sir, if we could do that, you wouldn't be this close to it.

Right. I can promise you, you would have been stopped by four to five people before you got this close to ask when we are coming back. All right, so the Greg Garcia episode. Tim Meek, longtime caller, first-time listener. Love it. I think I get why Nick falls for Nate's made-up stories. After opening with Aaron was a – hold on.

After opening with Aaron was arrested for punching some dudes after Notre Dame's loss. Nate just moves on. I began Googling Aaron Weber comedian arrested. Aaron was arrested for punching some dudes after Notre Dame's loss. Nate just moves on. I began Googling Aaron Weber, comedian, arrested. Long story short, Aaron wasn't arrested, and I was pulled over for being on my phone while driving through Atlanta. Wow.

Thanks for the laughs and the citation. Keep up the good work. Well, thank you, Tim. It's very nice of Tim to assume that it would make the news if I got arrested. Yeah, because that's true. Well, prior to this podcast, I thought that the statement was so absurd that no one would believe it. But now, after seeing how Aaron handles himself in a crowd, it's believable. It is.

That's true. I was at the bar. These guys were making fun of Notre Dame. Grabbed him by the shorts. Enough. Enough. A lot of people believed. A lot of people said, we should give him another chance, but I could see him doing it.

Yeah. It's like Costanza when he fights those people in the movie theater. Oh, that's one of the final episodes, isn't it? Yeah. It's like those guys that laugh kicking his chair. Yeah. I would love it. Oh, that's when he does everything opposite. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Got to the bottom of that. Kevin Lawson, what an amazing guest. Greg is oozing with charm. He is someone that you immediately like.

I love that his show are about giving back or fixing a wrong. Then to hear about his real-life Burger King example of giving, wow, what a great guy. Hopefully examples like that will keep his hell life much more comfortable. Thanks for sending this one out, Aaron. I agree with Kevin. It's like easy, Kevin. I think Greg's married. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Well, when he goes to hell, I think, yeah, when it's going to be much. I had a lot of people say this was their favorite episode. And I say, because of Greg? And they're like, yeah, sure. Yeah. There you go. Yeah, that was why.

It was definitely something. I don't know, but I love that thin Aaron. That's funny. Say what Aaron thinks, but I love that thin Aaron. That's what I think. Say what Aaron thinks he looks like. Yeah. And Aaron looks in the mirror. A lot of people say Greg sounded like Aaron. He did sound a little bit like him.

Yeah. And people say I'm oozing with charm. I get that a lot too. Yeah. That's true. Enough. That's charm. that's charmed kate smith this is why we need aaron around you need a super genius to clear up the difference between nectarines and tangerines thank you kate though i don't know if i'm the resident

fruits and vegetables yeah could you clear that up for us? Oh, no, I can't. Well. Nectarines, aren't those, those are like the half peaches, right? Dusty said they were like tiny oranges, but those are tangerines. That's a tangerine, yeah. Yeah. But we were talking about nectarines. Well.

Well, you know, if you don't say nectarine and tangerine, you could see where they could be confused. Yeah. What is a nectarine? It's a small one? A small little peach? It's like a peach. Like a plum.

Like a plum and a peach. Oh, it's got a thing inside of it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like a plum and a peach, yeah. It's got a big thing inside of it. Half apple, half peach. I wouldn't eat it.

Is it half apple, half peach, or half plum? Half apple, half peach? That's what that is? I don't think so. What's that nonsense at the middle? Yeah. It's way more like a peach and a plum seed. In the nectarine versus peach debate, the difference is,

so this is a raging debate going on right now. Yeah. God, I could read a whole novel. Nectarines are actually a type of peach which makes it confusing to understand the difference between the two okay nectarines are smooth and have a slightly firmer texture than peaches so it's it's like it's a type of peach i love a nectarine we didn't know what it was until right now i mean no i mean now that it's cleared up i have had nectarines do you eat that core no no you can't eat that core what is it like what's very hard

like a peach seed i mean you can crack it open and then eat the little seed inside of it all right that's just the cover yeah it'd be tough to eat that that big seed yeah you crack it open eat the little seed inside okay how did these come about like that's the you know yeah how'd they get the apple and the peach get together make a nectar they're breeding fruit probably grafted we start messing around in these laboratories yeah who knows what's scientists you could take a little bit of a you know like a like a apple tree and probably graft on a peach limb and then i mean that that is a thing you should just call it a people yeah what if it's half yeah a papal papal

no i'm people i think i think the peach deserves a little more oh i see p-e-a yeah p-e-l-e people like if you're gonna combine them you papal, the peach could be like, I mean, I'm not barely even a part of it. Right. That's fair. And so you go, people. I'll take a people. Well, half peach, half apple.

Have you seen these? These square watermelons that people make? Cube watermelons? No. I'm not a big watermelon guy. Oh. Are you okay with people manipulating the genetics of this fruit to make it easier to ship? I think that's what they're doing.

How are they doing that? I don't know. They've just manipulated the DNA of that seed. I can't even get a watermelon to grow, and they're making them squares. It's amazing. Would they make it, would it just when it grows, do they just put a square thing around it? That's probably what they're doing, yeah. So they're not doing, it's not a science experience?

Well, that's science. Yeah, that's enough there. I give you such a weapon to use. Just enough. It would shut me down any time. David Beal, in reference to the movie Catch Me If You Can, while the rest of us are wondering

who is Frank Abagnale and is he still alive, Dusty straight up types Leonardo DiCaprio into Google search bar. Listen, let's be fair. I think he's still alive. Is he out? I don still alive. Is he out?

Like, he's out. I don't know. Is that it? Oh, it's whatever. Okay, we don't know. So, Dusty, you do realize those are actors, right? Listen, I had no business running the computer. That's so funny.

It's funny to see the tabs you have pulled up too. Was Robin Hood real? And then Escape from Alcatraz, the movie. I was doing my best too. You're holding it down, man. That's so funny. Also, Harper had this. I grabbed it.

This is the name it's spelled. Can you see it? Nate Bart Gaze. You know, the funny thing, in that picture, you've got quite a gaze going on. I do. And you're like, Nate Bart Gaze. I think that's on purpose. Yeah.

I mean. They knew what they were doing. They knew what they were doing. knew i saw people wearing that i didn't notice it was spelled that badly yeah so what was the guy saying uh we're moving near arizona sorry bar gates bar gates oh so bar gates is not far off yeah all Okay. Putting it all together. All right. Well, a little tea. I don't ever drink tea. I love tea. Do you?

I'm a big tea guy. Oh, are you? Yeah. I'm big at the Opry, that throat coat. Throat coat's good. Peppermint, ginger. I like ginger for the stomach, peppermint for the voice. It feels very like, tea's always, I always take it as like very like, what is it?

Like high. Highfalutin. Yeah – Highfalutin. Highfalutin. It could go – I think you'd go highfalutin or very hippie. Yeah. I don't think hippie. I always think highfalutin. Like if someone's like, oh, I'll take a tea at a table, you're like, here we go.

Oh, yeah. Like not iced tea. Yeah. I mean, I would just think you're talking about sweet tea. But if someone asks for a hot tea. You're like, oh, you're from England? Yeah, it mean, I would just think you're talking about sweet tea. But when someone asks for a hot tea. You're like, oh, you're from England? Yeah, it's like. When I worked in a restaurant, nothing infuriated me more than a customer asking for a hot tea.

Yeah. I'm like, oh, now I got to find a bag. I got to find a spoon. I got to get a cup. It's a lot goes into it. That's about it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's about it. But it's like. But when you're doing it at Olive Garden, it's like, come on, what are we doing? Right. Right. You really need a hot tea right now. that's about it but it's like but when you're doing an olive garden it's like come on what are we doing right right you really I would have an applebee's right now

you gotta get someone to ask for a hot tea and you're like yeah I'm gonna I gotta go brush the dust off the thing yeah like we're not

drinking hot teas in here yeah it's 90 degrees outside just put a sweet tea in the microwave yeah oh yeah that's what I would do yeah that's the only thing

I don't think I ever drink them because of that because I feel like I'm not bitter I totally agree if you grew up in the south I feel like I'm not better than anybody. I totally agree. If you grew up in the South, I feel like that would be like, what? Yeah. Who do you think you are? I'm not trying to be better than anybody, man.

I'll take, you know. However you serve the tea, right? I'll take it however. No, I would just say, if they said hot, I would say, well, I don't belong in here. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what I would say, well, I don't belong in here. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I would think. All right. You all right? Arizona episode comments. No, I apologize. It's been Sarah Shallow. I am shocked that y'all didn't talk about Travis Walton in the Arizona episode, considering UFOs come up quite a bit on this podcast.

in the Arizona episode, considering UFOs come up quite a bit on this podcast. Travis Walton claims to have been abducted by aliens in Snowflake, Arizona, November 5th, 1975. Yeah, so I didn't know it was Arizona, but I saw that movie. There was a movie about it, Fire in the Sky. And there were some loggers, and they saw at the end of their shift a bright light, and he got out of his truck and went, and it sucked him up to the spaceship. And he was missing for a few days, and his buddies, they thought they'd killed him, and they were being investigated. And then he just shows up and says that aliens abducted him.

I believe him. If you look at him, he looks like he's seen some stuff. Yeah. He was on Rogan recently and told the story. Oh. But, Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that'd be interesting. It's a crazy story, yeah. Look where he reappeared. Haybear, Arizona? Haybear, Arizona. Wow. All right. That's crazy.

That is crazy. All right. I love that he's got, so casually, just got a little alien mannequin down there with a hat on it yeah he goes out of those conventions now what does he say like they just took him up and looked at him yeah they uh the guy that met them all how you doing yeah right right he shook their hand he fought him. How you doing, Travis Walton? Walton family. They're like, uh, hi. Yeah, I'm part of the Walmart Waltons. Yeah.

You guys have any hot tea up here? They go, we don't drink anything. Walton claimed that he awoke in a hospital-like room being observed by three short, bald creatures. short bald creatures. He claimed he fought with them until a human wearing a helmet led Walton to another room where he blacked out as three other humans put a clear plastic mask over his face.

Doesn't remember a whole lot of details. He fought with another human, a traitor to the human race. Wow. I think in the movie he fights with the alien, like kicks him or something. I don't think they have other humans up there. Yeah. So the movie's not exactly right. Apparently not.

Okay. Took a little creative liberties up there. Yeah. How you doing, Travis Walton? Just going around eating. How you doing, Travis Walton? The guy's like, believe ye. Like that.

He didn't have a name. But like, yeah. He's like, what? Am I saying that right? Blocker have a name. Blocker, yeah. He's like, what? Am I saying that right? Blocker. Blocker. Blocker. That is him?

Yeah. Travis Waltz. Says all his buddies took a polygraph test and all passed. So there you go. T-Bone. I'm T-Bone. Yeah. Okay.

I guess the logging career was kind of tough after that he was sick of logging so he's like i'll go on the spaceship tour the country yeah tour the world universe uh michael williams i'm used to hearing nate mispronounce all kinds of words but hearing breakfast murder lake havasaw and Gila Monster was pretty rough. Yeah, I had you read that, so now we both murdered it. Gila is Gila

Monster, apparently. Gila? A lot of people call me out on that one. How were we supposed to know that? Yeah, I like Gila Monster better. So I think that, yeah, I mean, that's how we say it. And Havasu is Gavasu. Yeah, I don't know about that one. Havasu. Havasu. Yeah, I don't know about that one. Havasu.

Havasu. Sounds like you did it right. Havasu. And I guess I said the Gila monster was poisonous and a reptile expert Jesse Rothacker said they're not poisonous, they're venomous and there's a difference

which I did not know. What's the difference? I still don't know. One's just annoying. I think venom, I mean, is injected. Poison. He said it would hurt very bad, but it's not poisonous. Oh. So still would not be.

He doesn't recommend getting bit. Well, it's like venomous is, I don't know if I'm right, but venomous is, I think, when they inject, so they put venom into you. Like a snake. Like a poisonous dart frog. It's like if you touch them, they have poison on them. Oh, okay. But that being said, when I did my joke, when I did the Cape Fear Serpentarium joke, I say venomous snake. I said poisonous before that. And someone said something to me once after a show.

And so I changed it to venomous. Because it was like, you're just trying to not, I don't want someone to get hung up on. Yeah. Get out of the moment. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Have you ever heard of Cunningham's Law? A couple times. Cunningham's the guy who invented Wikipedia. And he said the quickest way on the internet to find the right answer to something is not to ask a question. It's to say the wrong answer. And people are more willing to correct you than they are to just answer a question. Oh, wow. It happens faster. They can't wait to correct you. That's for sure answer a question. Oh, wow. It happens faster.

They can't wait to correct you. That's for sure. They can't wait. They love it. So anytime we get something wrong on this podcast, it's just know you're welcome. Yeah. Because we're getting the answers quickly. That's good.

Yeah. We'll get the answer to this next week. Yeah. Don't tell us. Something to keep in mind. Yeah. And we appreciate Cunningham coming up with that. Yeah.

Why didn't he use... How did he find out Wikipedia as a name? I don't know. That's kind of like you're like, what? I thought the guy that invented his last name would have been Wikipedia. John Wikipedia. At least Wicca. Wicca. Yeah, the pedia part I get,

I guess, like encyclopedia. Yeah. And wiki, doesn't that mean... Wiki is a term for the software where users can contribute. There you go there. You know? So it was Wikipedia. And who knows if that's true? We'll find out in the comments this week.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Does hot tea ever cool down? Does it just stay the rest of your life? At night when the sun goes down. Yeah. I mean, I'll tell you, someone makes it.

You really, it's like, all right, go watch a movie and come back, and then you're going to sip on it. Heather Kaufman, when Nate used the sentence, John saw a boob yesterday for describing a boob, my boys ages 9 and 10 lost their minds and have repeated that sentence daily. Thanks for giving my boys material to make them cool

with their friends and in trouble with their Sunday school teachers. Love the podcast. Thank you. That's what we're doing. Making kids laugh. That's what it's all about. And making them cool.

That's what you want to do. And making them cool. Yeah. That's what you want to do. Make the kids cool. Yep. Get them in trouble in Sunday school. All right. Heather Hirsch. Here's another fun fact about McDonald's in Arizona.

The McDonald's in Sedona is the only one in the world with turquoise arches. It was required by the town of Sedona to keep with the landscape requirement. Wow, look at that. Wow. Did you do a McDonald's while you were out there? I'm going to eat McDonald's tonight because I'm going to go back to eating good. We did, I had pizza afterwards, whataburger, ice cream, ice cream cake, ton of candy. Then the whole Sunday cheat day we had, it was like everybody came over.

I had so much candy. I got nauseous. We had a Sunday bar, but I i got nauseous we had a sunday bar uh but i got i got real nauseous and uh it was your body couldn't handle it yeah it was like just too much candy like i mean it's like 10 30 i like had to lay down and i just kind of rested and then i ate some candy and then last night i ate some before i went to bed and i was like why am i i got real nauseous again so i usually do a mcdonald's big mcdonald's meals like kind of a send-off back into like a last supper the last supper yeah you know how many times i've told myself that yeah

i'm gonna get after it tonight tomorrow i'm a new man yeah i think any good addiction is like that you're like this is the last time yeah this is it well once i've a new man yeah i think any good addiction is like that you're like this is the last time yeah this is it well once i've been able to handle it like now like laura's gonna make hello fresh tonight and i was like no i go that's like a normal meal i was like i'm going to mcdonald's and i'm gonna go like because i could have got it last night but by the time i landed it was like you know i don't want to go at 10 o'clock and run the risk of it being bad. Right. I need to go, you know, dinner time.

Get fresh McDonald's. Get fresh McDonald's. Prime hours. Prime hours. I need the shift. I need the age shift. When the employees are still caring about it. The best of the best.

The best of the best. Ice cream machine still working. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Manager still on duty. Yeah. I'll probably go try

to run by dairy queen maybe or something i really get after it but i want to stay in shape i will uh ours i'm we one day we can talk i think i've talked briefly about it people ask about me losing weight uh and i'm gonna i'm gonna i'll talk about it in something just to tell you what i did uh i don't talk about right now something just to tell you what I did. I don't want to talk about it right now in my voice like this. I'd like to mention this McDonald's thing, though. It seems like they went to great effort to do the green arch, but then they have a flag higher than the McDonald's itself with the yellow arch. I mean, come on.

It's like McDonald's is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll do what you're talking about, but we're also going to get our yellow arches in here too. Yeah. Well, I wonder if people were like, is this McDonald's? Yeah, even the Do Not Intercense turquoise. Yeah. Maybe they thought people would not think that's McDonald's. Yeah. And maybe they didn't. I don't know.

Maybe it's for night when the lights are on. But I just think that the Sedona is like, no, you can't have the yellow arches. And they're like, okay, no problem. But then they still have yellow arches. We'll throw that flag up still. Yeah. Yeah. Boom.

Boom. Jimmy Fallon's got a beard now. Yeah. Yes, he does. Some are here. Some are here. Some are there. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Some are beard so this week we are talking gas stations boom alright talking about gas stations

so if you're gonna go get air in your tire you're crying over here Aaron sorry sorry I'll be back soon

Dusty if you're gonna get air in your tire where do you tell Hannah you're going get it we're going to get air in your tire where do you tell Hannah you're going to get it I'm going to the gas station I'm going to run up here to the gas station you ever say service station oh no

do people say that to you it feels like I would ask you if I saw you and I needed a gas station I would change it to when you walked up and go do you know where the service station is yeah I mean I could get into that. Yeah.

Yeah. I go, and I go, what kind of service you looking for? Yeah. And then we could converse about it. I could get down with a conversation like that. Some people call them service stations. In parts of Canada, they call them gas bars. Oh, yeah.

Gas bars. Going to go to the gas bar to get some gas. And in the rest of the English-speaking world call it petrol. So you go to a petrol station. Go to a petrol station. Yeah. I feel like I've heard that. That's what they say to you if they saw you drinking tea.

Petrol? Yeah, they go, do you know where the petrol station is? And sorry about the queen. That's what they'd say to you. Because they're like British, he's saying. Like, hi. Because you're fancy. Oh, yeah.

European. Yeah. Yeah. That's enough. Because you're fancy. European. Yeah. That's enough.

So most of us call it gas station. There is a difference between gas station and convenience store. 7-Eleven, convenience store. Convenience store also doesn't have to have gas. That's right. Bodegas in New York City are technically convenience stores. There's like 10,000 of them. If you live in New York City, you love to tell people that you're going to a bodega.

That's what I've noticed. Yeah. It's a good name. Yeah, it is a good name. It's a fun word to say that you don't get to say in other cities. Yep. There are no bodegas in Nashville, right? We have a 7-Eleven bodega. Yeah, maybe downtown Nashville. There's probably some bodegas down there. Some corner stores.

Corner stores. Yeah, we don't have bodegas. Not like New York. But I mean, you have people you go, when you're starting comedy, your bodega is, I mean, you just lived out of one. You just go there and get everything.

Yeah. So they're like, convenience stores and gas stations are like squares and rectangles? Well, I mean, some gas stations aren't convenience stores. Some just sell gas. That's what I'm saying.

Okay. So some gas stations are also convenience stores, but not convenience stores are not. You know what? Now you know what it feels like to sit in front of Aaron at a show. That's how that guy felt. He just told me enough, I think. Yeah. I'm still recovering from Dusty's ad read.

Give me a minute. I'll be back in a second. Well, I think when cars first were invented, from what I read, it was kind of like- From what you remember. Come on. Oh, he's back. He's back. Yeah.

Quick comeback. It's kind of like what electric cars are now. When they're first getting started, they're still trying to figure out, well, how do you keep them running? And so they would like sell gas like at markets and stuff like that. You just go buy it in a can. And then finally they open actual gas stations. The first one where you pull in and they pump it was in 1913 in Pittsburgh. But at first, they were just trying to figure it out. Kind of like when Cracker Barrel had

charging stations here. You're like, just try to figure it out. Yeah, take it home. They don't have them anymore? No, they do. But I'm saying now there's a lot of places for charging stations. But it's for like years from now when everything's electric cars, they're going like cracker barrels one of the first places you could go it just seems weird yeah when when i was growing up we had a place and my where my dad loves called uh edge's grocery store and it was larry edge who ran that and it was like a real old wooden uh rundown looking place but he had everything in there we used to go get bluebell ice cream he had the gas pumps we would just fill up the four-wheeler he had like meat that was just kind of sitting i think

it was bologna just kind of sitting out that he would carve off a piece he had some cheese and uh pickled eggs and it's sort of been in in la in penton penton alabama okay um and uh it was great larry was always running the store he was always hanging out in there we had a little charge account permanently closed yeah yeah it's closed now they got the gas pump still running but uh they got a the penton penton grill is attached to it though and it's still open you can go get some food back there well that's good good patty melt back there looks like a lovely place yeah yeah the church is nearby too, the Pinn Church of God there. But we had a charge account.

You could just go up and be like, put it on the tab. Oh, I love that. Yeah. And that was a lot of fun. As a tourist in New York City, there was nothing more exciting to me than to go into that little bodega right around the corner from Letterman to see i forgot his name now but the guy that letterman always talked with yeah uh he had a camera in his shop and he would go to him you know what i'm talking about no i've never seen them yeah i know and you'd go in there and he'd just be in there working he'd you'd buy stuff and sell it to me he was like a celebrity yeah

and so many tourists went there and i thought that was just the greatest thing that's kind of like you're lar, it sounds like. Yeah, I mean, Larry Edge also owned a stock car track and a go-kart track right there in town. Was he the mayor? Larry Edge was running things. Larry Edge, he passed away, but I'm still friends with his grandson. But Larry Edge passed. That's why the store's closed now.

But the Penton Grill's still running. So if you're in that area, stop and get yourself a patty mouth. Yeah, I feel like places like that have great food. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is really good. Yeah, the best hot dog I've ever had was in Knoxville Gas Station. Just like a mom and pop?

Yeah, I'll never remember. I want to say it was across a bridge. I mean, this was, I had to be 19. It was somewhat like the stadium and all that stuff. And then there's a bridge. You go over the river right there. And I wanted, maybe the gas station was right there. And I remember just best hot dog I ever had.

And it stuck with you this long. Stuck with me this long. Yeah, you've mentioned it on the podcast before. Yeah. God, it must have been great. We used to get hamburgers in a bag that you would microwave at Larry Edge's store. And I was thinking about that the other day, how gross that, I'd never do that now, but we used to tear those up.

Oh, yeah. Ballpark. I like a nice, yeah, like a hamburger. I think I would like that hamburger a lot. Yeah, just a little hamburger in a microwave. Some state, well, now I guess it's down to, New Jersey's the only state, the whole state, you can't pump your own gas. They have someone has to pump it for you.

Oregon up until 2018, they pumped their own. You couldn't pump your own gas, but now they'll allow counties that have fewer than 40,000 residents to pump their own gas. But if you're in a big city, you still can't pump it. And people freaked out in Oregon when they first started how to do it because they didn't know how to do it. They didn't want to do it. There's one guy right there commenting that this is dangerous. They just never had to pump their own gas.

That's a grown man. I drank gas as a kid. You know what I mean? I mean, come on. That is crazy. gas as a kid. You know what I mean? I mean, come on. That is crazy. That is a dude that you want to go, what are you doing? Yeah. He said, I had to do it once in California while visiting my brother

and almost died doing it. I was like, what happened? This is a service only qualified people should perform. And that is why the wall is there, because they're afraid somebody will pull off with a pump still attached to their car, Aaron. I've done that, and nobody got hurt.

They think people now are too distracted. I mean, they've always done this, so I guess they just think qualified people need to be handling flammable liquids. You do see every now and then just somebody ripping a cigarette while they're pumping their gas. That's pretty dangerous, probably. Lucy, put that out.

I'm talking, you know, you go out there where it's like these small towns where the gas station is kind of like the cultural hub of the city. Yeah. And those people out there are just ripping them. hub of the city. Yeah. And those people out there are just ripping them. I had a buddy, he would, to show you that a cigarette would not light gas on fire, he would throw a cigarette into a pail of gas. And it wouldn't light?

It wouldn't light. I guess it has to be a flame and not the cigarette. Not just the... Yeah. Wow. Wow. So everybody can smoke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just don't light it while you're standing there. Wow. Wow. So everybody can smoke. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Just don't light it while you're standing there. You know. Well, it's already lit when you pull it. Light it in the car. Yeah. Get out and start pumping.

Did you guys ever see Zoolander? Yes. They're just having a water fight with the gas hoses. And then one of them lights a cigarette. They just all blow up. Yeah. They did. I would always.

You turn your car off when you pump gas? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I always got nervous about that. They had some do's and don'ts. And the only thing that I have done is don't get back in your car while it's pumping. They said don't do that.

And in Massachusetts, they don't even allow the locks that most of us use. Oh, yeah. They don't do that and in massachusetts um they don't even allow you know the locks that that most of the shoes they don't have them there or i guess they didn't at one time because it's very cold there's a lot of static electricity there's a chance you get back in your car some static electricity builds up and causes a fire i've gone to other gas stations if they don't have the locking pump that infuriates me if they don't have it. You put your cap in there. Oh, okay. Oh, will that work too?

Mm-hmm. Dang. All right. Wouldn't it take more time to go to another gas station than just sit there? It's not about the time. It's the principle? Yeah. Of that lock?

It's like you lost a customer. That's what I'm saying. You'll remember it. But it's like- Have you ever checked the other pump just to see if one was missing? No, I haven't done that. I should think about that. But I'm so mad that I'm saying. You'll remember it. But it's- Have you ever checked the other pump just to see if one was missing? No, I haven't done that. I should think about that. But I'm so mad that I'm like, you know, sometimes I'll stay.

Also, if a gas pump's real slow, I'll go, nah, I'll just get a couple of gallons here. I'll move along. You have a lot of ups and downs with gas pumps. Yeah. I've been to a lot of them. I get frustrated pretty quickly with them. I don't know what they're doing sometimes. Or they'll go, like you ever sit in there and it goes, see cashier?

I'm like, no, I'm not coming in. I've had a problem with my card here, but I'm not coming in. Cancel, cancel, cancel. Can you get – What do you do? You just leave? Yeah. Can you get gas 24 hours at a gas station?

Some of them. Most of them, I think. It doesn't even need to be. No one needs to be there. Right. Yeah. It does seem like a very dangerous like. Because you see videos where people are like, they're my favorite videos.

People are building a fire, and then they pour a little gas on it, and then the gas runs up the tank, and then they throw it, and then their whole backyard catches on fire. And then the video always ends. I'm like, no, I want to see what happened next. Yeah. But it's like, it's so flammable, and we're just like handling it. Have you ever wondered how the pup knows when to cut off when it's full? There's a guy inside. He's looking through the hole.

That's good. I assume they just had it worked out. I never really. Well, they do have it worked out. It's a device called a Venturi device. And I guess air is coming out of your tank while the gas is going in. There's another little hose within the hose. No one ever points the hose to look at it, but there's a smaller hose that that just sucks air out and it builds up and it can tell when it's full do you uh science do you

always go once it once it stops do you go a little bit over oh always yeah yeah i'll tell you when i'm done yeah top it off get a couple more and have you i've it not stop. I have spewed it out of there. I have spewed it out of there, yeah. Yeah. I put it in, and then I go walk inside. Always. Yeah. That's what I do.

It's just running. Lock it up. You just trust it to stop. It's dangerous. They tell you not to do that. They do. There are warnings on the thing. Yeah.

I say a lot of stuff. Yeah, I may have told the story on here before about a comic who did that, and it overflowed. Roger Keese. You know Roger Keese? No. And, I mean, they had to, like, call 911, just shut down the gas station. He had, like, a $240 gas bill.

Jeez, how long was he in there? I don't know, but he said he was in line, and somebody came in and was like, there's gas bill in everywhere. And he was like, and somebody came in and was like, there's gas being everywhere. And he was like, oh, sorry for that sucker. Call 911 and like, can everybody get back? And they had to like bring in a bunch of sand and just all this stuff. Did he call 911?

I called the fire department. Yeah. So 911 goes to both of them. They decide what to do. What's the problem? Yeah. you always think 9-1-1 police yeah so who answers it the police and then they did that lady decides it's like a neutral dispatcher and then they they get in touch with whoever yeah i really thought about it. Have you never called 911 before? Not that I may. I feel like maybe once.

For me? Yeah. No, I feel like maybe once. I think I've had an accident maybe, like an accidentally called. Have you called it? Yeah, I've called before. How many times? A bunch.

Probably four or five times now that I think about it. What are you doing if i just see a car if i see a car accident or your gout flares up i've been in a few accidents where i have you're supposed to call 9-1-1 and tell them if you're on the side of the road or five times probably four or five times i've called so many times well that's a trailer i mean that's like that's like number three on the speed dial yeah yeah i would want to go hey dustin it goes your it goes your grandmother mom 9-1-1 that's your speed dial yeah i mean it's like that's yeah i mean just all the time like how you know you see a fire you're like well i'll call it's like a fun it's fun to be the one that calls where do you

see a fire at just people's houses yeah you know i mean like just driving our houses on fire one time we called 9-1-1 and it's a lot of fun just making sure y'all heard about my sister have you honestly called it a lot yeah oh yeah my sister is real diabetic she used to go into these like weird kind of diabetic trances or whatever and and we would have to call that 911. They're like, anyone wants to come and give her some glucose? I bet a guy. She's on one of her. She's on her diabetes dance right now.

She'd just be sitting there staring off into space, and you couldn't get her to do anything. Margaret. Margaret. Margaret. Call 911. Hi, it's Dusty. She doing her thing.

She doing her long stare. She's back at it. She's back at it. Yeah, she would. She had a couple of M&Ms. Set her off. And I get, you know, I to get a prank called a little bit um my mom worked third shift and i'd stay by myself and uh you know how they used to have that uh call where it's a uh uh you have a this is at&t with a collect call from and they'd be like oh it's jim but this one i i picked it up when that goes uh this is at&t with a

collect call from i know where you live. You're dead. And I was like, I freaked out. Yeah. Ran to my sister's house. You know, who was my neighbor? She's in a trance? She wasn't in a trance.

Okay. Yeah. Thankfully. I'd be like, I need help from a brain caller. And my sister's having a diabetic thing. You said two. Yeah. Hey, while I got you.

Yeah. A lot of smoke in here. I think she's been smoking a lot. Yeah. Hey, while I got you. Yeah. A lot of smoke in here. I think she's been smoking a lot if we can get the fire department. I don't know. What's in everyone? Yeah, you grew up in like a jungle.

Can we get the cops, the fire department, and the ambulance down here? Send everybody. Send everybody. We got a lot going on. Larry Edge comes down there to see what's happening.

Yeah, yeah. He goes, dadgummit, boys. What are y'all doing down here? We're like, we need candy. They go, Larry, put it on the tab. We're talking to them. Yeah, go ahead.

Who did you find out who prank called you? No, never found it. Yeah. You know, my mom's name was in the phone book, right? And then they had another call they made later on the voicemail. They said some things that will be targeted at a woman that I shouldn't say. And so we figured they just looked. They were just flipping through the phone book, doing things.

Bathroom wall? Yeah. Who knows? I did. Well, I won't. You can't say it? Well, no, I shouldn't say it. But it's a good time.

We're having a good time. Yeah. Do you talk on your cell phone while you're pumping gas? No. Because of safety? Yeah. I think you just heard it once and then you're like, I'm not going to do it. I heard what?

Your cell phone could set it off or something. What? You. I heard what? Your cell phone could set it off or something. What? You've never heard that? Your cell phone could set it off? I don't know if I don't do it. And I heard that, and that's why I didn't do it. And then now, more and more of my cell phone, I'm just like, I think about whatever the waves and radiate.

You're just kind of like, I don't need this near me. It gets hot. You're like, less and less, I throw my phone. I just want it away near me. It gets hot. You're like, yeah, I'm less and less. I've just, I throw my phone. Oh, I just want it away from me. Yeah. The other night after our, so on Sunday on our big cheat night,

we went to go eat. We went bowling at a Sunday bar. All this. I just left my phone at home. I mean, left it back at the house. I was, I just don't want it.

Like, it's like, it's, I, it's, do you like that? I love it. Cause it's, I'm so tired of, I don't know. It's like, it just doesn't want it. Like, it's like, it's, I, it's. Do you like that? I love it. Yeah.

Because it's, I'm so tired of, I don't know. It's like, it just doesn't stop. It's constant. It's constant. It's always near you. You're like, I just don't want to. I'm in, like, I'm hanging out. Do you ever find yourself, do you ever, like, feel your phone vibrate when it's not on you?

Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I had a thing I thought of this week. This is like a, you know people tell you always be in the moment like that's a big thing right yeah always you gotta make sure you're in this moment i think people are only in their moment and no one's living outside of it no one's thinking past present or anything they're only in their moment and so it's a weird thing to say

because you look at like people like you know it's like they see on instagram like them posting pics and videos and make sure you're enjoying the moment that you're in you're like all of you are only in the moment you're only thinking that's why you're you're thinking about you in this moment what can i get out of this moment yeah you're not thinking, how dumb do I look filming stuff? Or am I going to tell this story later because I was filming? Am I going to have this memory? Am I going to be able to like anything else? You're only in the moment.

And you should be out of the moment a little bit. You're living the moment. You're doing it. Yeah. Zoom out a little bit. Zoom out. Even if you're in it. I know they're saying're saying like don't

just be on your phone and like look around and be enjoying where you are but you're like i think people are doing that it's you're not you can get out of it that's interesting yeah there's a balance perspective yeah yeah there's no balance i don't i don't also live it yeah you should probably have a balance i don't like the balances i don't like like i don't have a balance you don't necessarily live in it. Yeah, you should probably have a balance. I don't like the balances. I don't like, like, I don't have a balance. You don't like balance? It's all or nothing? I mean, I think it kind of is. I mean, you know, it depends on what you're trying to do,

but it's like balance. Someone telling you to be balanced is just like, I don't want to have a conversation about it. So they're just like, just be, you should be balanced, like a diet. I think just living to, like like live and not living for content yeah there's so much out there where it's like oh i'm doing this i'm feeling this way this should be content like i'm if i'm gardening i always think well i should film some of this because this will be good content but then i'm like no i gardening, so I don't have to do these other things. Yeah.

People don't think about the stuff going forward. It's like they don't, because it's like you can see, like live in the moment. Maybe I'm not talking about exactly to make sure we're present, but it's like you can see a lot of times people can have a problem come, and they don't see that that problem was on its way the whole time because they're just in their world at that moment yeah they got blinders blinders on horse yeah so they just they they're just walking and then just they get crushed by something because they don't think about like the consequences of this going forward or just be a little bit think think about what you're doing

but be also going like i know where this can lead yeah like a diet like talking about being balanced well if you want to unless you're fortunate to be like able to just be balanced then then then you're lucky and you do get to be balanced but But I wasn't able to really be balanced. I went too far. So I have to go extreme to try to learn to be balanced. But you got to go pretty hard one way to learn to try to have a balance. And the balance is basically you don't get to eat candy ever, like you do occasionally, which is not a balance. It's not like you're like, I can eat one and then i eat an apple like you know it's like no one's gonna that seems like a weird way

to live or i don't think most people can live like that and i don't know what that is i was just thinking about that with the phone like i get told a lot too i get told to make sure you're appreciating what happened or what's going on. I'm the most appreciative. I'm in it. I've been here the whole time. It's me trying to make sure other people can appreciate it. I got to try to make sure.

Because you have people that come now and then they're like, wow, this is amazing. You're like, yeah, it was never, it was not like this at all. Like, Laura gets it. You know, Laura, we were in it at the beginning. But when people come on now and they think it's all amazing, it's like, yeah, but it wasn't, you know, I mean, I wasn't complaining about it, but I appreciate it very much. People always see what you have now and think that that's the way it's always been. Yeah, they're always like, make sure you appreciate where you're at and don't take all this for granted. You're like, yeah, yeah, I'll never do that because I had to go get all this.

Right. So I do appreciate it. I'm truly grateful that I'm allowed to even do this, that the audience is even. I can't believe that they want to listen to what I have to say. Right. And I'm scared that it can all go away and not because of like a cancellation, just because I'm not good enough to keep their attention. So I'm very appreciative. But it's like, as people come, it's like, you got to make sure that everybody's appreciative.

I got to make sure my daughter's appreciative. And like, you know, just reminder, like, yeah, this is not, we're very fortunate. And it takes a lot of hard work to get this. It's a weird, I don't know. Yeah. I can get like, I get sometimes with, you know, I'll get weird when someone's there. Make sure you appreciate it. You're like, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I am. Well, it's a weird thing to say to people too, for people to say that sort of thing. It's the big dice. Sometimes I understand it like you're trying to give someone advice or you're trying to say something. I'm not even saying really I got told this this week, but it's like make sure you slow down and look at what's going on around you. Yeah, yeah.

No, I am. I am. You know how hard it is to keep it going? I got to think about it every day. I think about it every second because I'm trying to create something. I'm trying to do something. That's not for me. It's like I can appreciate it, but I want to create a world that everybody can enjoy.

And so it's like you got to be on the grind. You got to be doing it. You can't just sit there and it's like, you gotta be on the grind. You gotta be doing it, dude. You can't just sit there and just go like, you're right. I do appreciate it. Yeah. Well, you know, it's like people will say to me sometimes that they'll go, lately they've been saying, they go, oh, you're running your own merch table. And I'm like, well, you know, there may come a time if I'm lucky where I can't handle my own merch table, right? But I'm like, I'm happy to even be in the position where there's a line of people wanting to buy my merch. I've stood at the table with CDs and everybody passed by me and go buy the next guy's stuff many times.

So it's like, I like selling you know, I like selling my merch. I mean, you know, like I say, if I'm lucky, one day I'll be at a place where I can't handle it, right? But I like it. I feel like it's fun. After the show, I come, people talk to me. I sell them a shirt, you know, I don't know. It's like, if you want to learn appreciation,

it's like, just make something. Yeah. It could be as building a birdhouse. Like if you're a kid, go actually build something. And then you just appreciate it. Yeah. And it's like, I know that's a very small example, but I never thought of it when I was a kid. But when something's actually, you're like, you know, someone made a cup.

Or you see someone makes those poetry, you know, ardent poetry. You see what goes into it. Like they make, you know, someone made a cup. Or you see someone makes those poetry, you know, ardent poetry. You see what goes into it. Like they make, you know, a vase. Like clay pots or something. Yeah. And you see it and you're like, it looks terrible. But you see that person is showing you because they're as proud of it. Yeah.

Because they appreciate it. Yeah. Because they were like, you know how long this took me, dude? I don't know how to make this. I don't know what I'm doing. And like that's why you end up, like that's how you learn appreciation, I think. And appreciation is a great thing to learn. Because you're very proud of what you did.

And you want to strive, and then you want to do it more. This is going on a whole, but this is a positive. Yeah, I love it's like i see like some people talk about you know people talk about mental health a lot now and so they talk about like uh i feel like they talk a lot about like what other people got it like here's i've got this problem and so here's what you should be doing to help to deal with my problem. Instead of being like, I need to figure my problem out. And then that way I don't burden everybody with, like I saw, like, I think younger people are talking about that a lot. Now,

mental health is a big deal. I have stuff like I get it. We, but it's not your burden to figure me out. I don't get to walk around and make you have to figure out how to be around me. I need to figure out how to be around you. So I need to solve it like that. Talk to me, talk to someone, you got to go talk to someone to go, how do I not be the problem? I can't, I, nothing will ever be fixed. If I wanted all of y'all to deal with what I have to deal with, and I have trouble dealing with this all the time, when stuff doesn't get done the way I want it to be done, I can get very like, why are you not doing it? I know how to do it.

How are you not knowing how to do this? Well, that's not fair because I'm the one that's reaping the benefits and the reward, the rewards. So either I need to do it or I can teach them how to do it, or I can't expect them to do it. And that's what you got to deal with. But people have that with, I see like, that's social media. It's like, man, it's like, I'm about to, maybe I'm just getting older and I just can't handle it. But people talk about mental health on there all the time. And it's like, well, everybody has it. Everybody on earth has it.

And it's all like, so here's how you deal with me when I walk in this situation. You're like, you're never going to be happy. If you've got to make, you know how many people you've got to manage so it works the way you want it to work. Why would you want to manage that many people? That doesn't make, why would I ever want to manage? I mean, it's like, I might as well be running a Walmart and you're like have a hundred employees. If you go to the grocery store, you got to just be like,

I need everybody to act the way I want you to act or I'm not going to have a good day yeah well that's insane right or i can try to go let me be the boss of one person yeah and then i'll be able to handle and some of that is is like i'll just mentally go because i would lose it if like stuff didn't go the way i want it to go and so i would learn to sometimes just tell myself, and I would do it privately. I'm not trying to do it, but you just kind of go to yourself and go like, the day's going to go.

Who knows how this day's going to go? Look at it as being kind of fun. I bet my name's misspelled on that thing. So could I lose my mind? Could I find out why that was like that this is a big special i sold out four shows at this place who do you think you are could i do it that way or is it funny it's funny yeah because who am i'm nobody i'm i'm nobody yeah i wasn't done with that wasn't done with the eel and who am i why should they know my name? They shouldn't. I'm just an idiot.

When I go, like, when I met people after the show, they're waiting by the fence. I took a picture with them. And they're nice. And you're like, yeah, dude, I'm you. Like, I can't believe you're here. I can't believe you even want a picture with me. Who am I?

I am nobody. I'm just a dude that just happens to be funny. But it's like, I don't know. And I don't know why I went on this big. I don't think this counts as a rant. I get it though. No, no, no. Maybe it does.

You're like, all right. It's a happy rant though. It's a happy rant. I want people to be positive. I just saw it. You see a lot of that. Well, some people should, they have an energy and they should put it, like you were talking about,

like you should like managing a walmart it's like maybe that's what some people need to do they have this management thing in them where they want to tell everybody how to be it's like well you should put that you put that or put that energy into actually a job where it requires you to manage people yeah yeah if you want it well if you have that you might have very good skills yeah to be a real leader right because you you you have direction that you want things done the way that you think this should be done but you can't be uh not put in any situation because you think this is too much like you get to like i get not wanting to be like if someone like yeah dude i want sometimes you want to be alone sometimes like you're like like i get not wanting to be like if someone like yeah dude i want sometimes you

want to be alone sometimes like you're like i just want to hang out my buddies and i don't want it to be and i'll feel that all the time like or you think i need to be this or i don't want to be too much or if i'm gonna go do something it's gonna be a whole big thing but you gotta just like realize like yeah you gotta do that and be like so i've got to figure out how do i do that it's not your burden it's not your that's not fair to be like you know you shouldn't be like oh i'm sorry i did it like you see me if i get upset and you see and you're like i'm sorry did i do something wrong you could never do something wrong there's no there's a zero chance you could ever do something wrong my job is to handle myself to then be like no of course not yeah and then it's like

right to be able to just roll with it you got to just roll with it yeah people can't roll with no one did this to me this weekend either like so i know people will hear this podcast and you know people that were there no one did this to me it's more stuff i saw in passing like on instagram people that would not even know me like it's just i'm seeing a lot of it because you now you get so much post from other things and uh i feel like it's younger kids and yeah it's like golly you're never gonna i think people are very sad these days. And I think the thing about it, it's like, let's figure out why we're sad and try to fix that. Yeah, and that is to go talk to someone.

Yeah. That is the like, you might need to. Probably the way we eat, the lack of exercise, that we're on social media too much. All of those things make you sad. That phone is like, it's not good. Yeah. Our food is so bad the food is bad and then you know nobody drinks water they're all dehydrated out here and they need a little

water some liquid iv you know what i mean yeah get some but hydration is big it is and people are sad it's hard not to realize this stuff but like it was was, I mean, I still love all these. I mean, I'll end up doing, I'll talk about the food at some point or what I did, but it's, I don't know. I saw,

this is on gas stations. Take your shoes off, walk in the grass. You know what I mean? Drink a little gas sometimes. Drink a little gas. Drink a little gas. You'll appreciate

how your life was before you drank that gas. Yeah. I think I've drank gas too. Yeah. Why have I drank gas? I've drank gas. I was trying how your life was before you drank that gas. Yeah. I think I've drank gas too. Yeah. Why have I drank gas? I've drank gas. I was trying to get it out of a lawnmower with a hose pipe to put it into a four-wheeler.

Yeah. And I drank gas. I drank a little bit of it. It's crazy to drink gas and be like, I can't put my finger on why I did. Yeah, that is. Yeah. Well, a lot of gas stations have signs saying- Just ease back into it.

Yeah. That's an N right there. That's really a master at ease it back into it. Yeah, that's like the weatherman. After a horrible story. And he goes, send five degrees out today. Did you see that clip that went viral of them talking about, one of the morning shows talking about the queen dying?

And they're like, the queen has died in their morning. But back here in America, we're celebrating the start of football see it was just such a hard cut back to americans it's that stuff too people don't yeah man the queen's a big deal it's like if it's not a big deal you does not mean it's not a big deal too it's gigantic yeah it's gigantic it's huge so is the start of the nfl i know. But it's like, as people are like, oh, you're the queen. We got our own problems. You're like, there can be many problems. Yeah, yeah.

It's okay. We can focus on more than one thing. People just didn't realize, like, social media is not real. That's the other thing. It's like, just calm down. Like, that's like. Big time. No one, everybody's normal.

That's why it's, you know. Well, according to Snopes, there's never been. I don't know. Go ahead. There's never been a fire enough that's been caused that's what you should have said and you could have gotten a good enough in right there there's never been a fire caused by a cell phone but there are signs that say no cell phones a lot of gas pumps because it does cause static electricity so it could happen say. So you shouldn't have any electronic equipment around a gas pump. Or wear a sweater.

Yeah. Static electricity. There are videos of people getting in their car and getting back out and fire start. Or a balloon, right? Yeah. I think they just don't want you talking, so you have to focus on those advertisements. Yeah. I would not be surprised if that's the real reason.

I love the money that's been spent on gas pumps to put in quick little ads. I'll watch them. You've been scared to death by one? Oh, it just starts talking all of a sudden. I mean, I've jumped out of my skin late at night. I think I'm the only one there, and then the local news anchor. You know, all of them have a secret mute button by the way no way yeah that the second from the top button on the right is a mute button oh how about that and i think it's universal i've

tried it before it works if you ever want that guy to stop talking just push that button i always you know it's like do they i think uh i like it because you get to see some of the local news sometimes. Yeah. You're like, ah. Check your little stuff. I'll take that. Sometimes it's just ads. It's just commercial.

If it's just ads, yeah. Yeah, the queen died. And football season's starting. That's where you found out from – they should have a game on. Now, do you stop – I have – I always let it get to the E. The light comes on, and then I fill it all the way up, and, I always let it get to the E, the light comes on, and then I fill it all the way up, and then I just do it again. Oh, no.

I think about, you think very in the moment. And I think about the situation. I think about, I'm not saying it does happen, but sometimes I'll think if it's at half, if there's, if I'm driving by and it's like, I can take a right, fill it up and get back right back on and make no big,

like cutting across or, and it's just an easy transition. I'll do it then. So it's not, if it's very smooth, I think about my route coming back. Like if you come to my house from the airport, that gas station, that's when you make that right. Yeah. Off Concord Road, there's one right on the corner. Yeah. And so it's like, I got to make a

right. So that one, you just kind of, it's almost like you're just going through and i think the amount of time i'm gonna the least amount of time i'm gonna spend is that's that's the least amount of time i can spend so i would do the gas you'd like take it right in there or if i just if one's on my side you just kind of figure it out there they say to maximize efficiency you're supposed to fill it up when it's halfway empty. Why is that? Because the car performs better when it has the most gas in it. So rather than let it get all the way down to E when it's halfway through,

when it's halfway down, then you fill it back up. But does the gas stay in the bottom? Old gas? I don't know. Or is it like a popcorn machine? It's like the old comes up. It's all kind of mixing in.

It's a great question. I don't think it's like oil and water. It's just like another layer of gas. Is it good? So if you do that, is it like immediately drive over like a few speed bumps? Just to shake it up. Yeah, hit the brakes a lot. Hit the brakes really.

Yeah. Get it. You don't want that a lot. Hit the brakes, really. Get it. You don't want that old gas and the new gas to get. You have speed bumps right as you exit. Rumble strips. Rumble strips. Just to be like, just to shake the gas up. Yeah.

I'm with that. Do you know what mid-grade gas is? 89? No, I think that's regular. Oh, 87. No, you're right 87 89 91 but i didn't know this but it's just the regular and the premium coming together oh there you go oh got that yeah it's the same principle just mixing it up they're just mixing it up oh really yeah do you put you don't ever get full or mid-grade is that do you guys put the mid-grade is that. Do you guys put premium? The mid-grade is just the two mixed together.

Yeah. I've never had a car where it would make sense to put premium. Is there a car where it makes sense? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah. Or they tell you. They tell you it makes sense. Yeah. They said it.

I did this. Yeah. They tell you it makes sense. Yeah. They said the warranty may not honor it if you damage your engine. If you get like new Cadillacs or whatever, like a new SUV or – I think they tell you the high – Put the premium.

Now, are there any bad side effects if you have a terrible car that you put premium in? Will the car not know what to do with it? I think it's just – The premium is just less ethanol, right? It's like being skinny fat if you do a bad car with premium gas. You're like, is that guy skinny? You take a shirt off, you're like, good. That's worse than I thought.

Pick a side. They used to, the early days, they would sell gas in glass containers so you could see what kind of gas you're getting because it was such bad gas no transparency like that anymore though yeah no yeah why is there a paper straw in there food in there they have a strategy how to build gas stations um they say that the best place to build a gas station is right after you go through a light at a four-way intersection on the right hand side see because then you're it's easier to get out yeah yeah so you you guys all like a bucky's right you guys

are big bucky's i made my first stop this weekend oh yeah how'd you feel first time it was good i mean i just ran in i was going to knoxville to shows, and there's one in Crossville, Tennessee now. Maybe we've talked about this. I imagine you overwhelmed. I hate them. I just had to run and use the bathroom, but there's a guy playing horse with no name in there. See, I'm overwhelmed in there. I'm like, what's going on in here?

Where did everybody come from? Yeah, did you not really go walk around and look around? I didn't have time. Yeah. You got to pick a better gas station. In the moment. How do you not? What are you talking about?

Bucky's, we've talked about it, like it's going to Disney World. Yeah. And you just ran in and go, where's your bathroom? And bounce. I got a glimpse of it. It's a big gas station. Browse the jerky's, man. That's so funny.

I mean, everybody's like, you might be the only person that used it as if it's a map code. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I was with Angela this weekend on the road, Angela Johnson, and she said they did the same thing. They stopped that same bunkies and just used the bathroom. Wow.

You didn't go walk around? I would have loved to if I had more time, but I just... How late were you? Well, I mean, I wasn't late, but I didn't have time to browse. Five minutes? Yeah. I'm not saying go in there for an hour. Get yourself some chocolate-covered peanuts.

Did you literally go car, bathroom, car? I mean, the bathroom's way in the back of Bucky, so I walked through and saw it as I... So that cut out some time. You get a brisket sandwich on your way. As you walked through, did you think I should have parked on the other side? I did. I did.

It was incredibly busy in there. Everybody was going to Knoxville for the Tennessee-Florida game, and the lines were long at the checkout line. Well, Dusty called me after his first Bucky's trip. Yeah. You couldn't wrap your head around what you just saw. I mean, because I was so excited. Did you think you were in a Macy's? Yeah, I don't know.

It's hard to describe it. I mean, there's just, I go to a lot of Lov's, and I'm a big fan of a Lov's truck stop. And so I thought, well, all right, a Buc-ee's seems like a bigger Lov's. But I was like, what is happening in here? It's so busy. Would Buc-ee's be for trailer park living? If you got a present from Buc-ee's, would it be like someone went to Nordstrom? You would just be like, we can't afford this.

This is what Buc-ee's would be like for trailer park living. It would be like, hey, do you guys want to go to Buc-ee's today? Let's make a day out of it. And would be the trip oh yeah yeah but that that'd be the trip for me that'd be trip for a lot of people i think i mean it'd be like so crazy let's go to bucky's let's get a brisket sandwich let's get some jerky my sister uh whenever she comes up from alabama to visit, likes to stop at Buc-ee's for the brisket sandwich. She really likes the brisket sandwich. It's great. But I can't.

I mean, it's so much going on in there. It's a madhouse in there. I like a Love's, too. Yeah. But I like Buc-ee's better. You know why I like a gas station? I think it's kind of beautiful in a way. I think it's the last place.

I think it's as close as we can get to a true representative cross section of America. It's the last place where all different types of people are in there. Yeah. All different backgrounds, races, religions, whatever it's,

it's, it's America. These gas stations, because everyone, everybody has to stop there. It's America, these gas stations. Because everybody has to stop there. I don't know if there's another place like that. I've been to gas stations with the Amish there. DMV. Yeah.

You disagree? No, no. I get it. Yeah. I've seen Amish people at the gas station. A busload of them. There you go. Just hanging out in there, getting stuff.

Yeah. Beards and old uniforms. Dude. They wear old uniforms? Yeah, they're like wearing their old, you know, an old Amish uniform. Yeah. We saw, I was in Phoenix this weekend, and we hiked to the Grand Canyon, and about four miles into the Grand Canyon, a pack of Amish showed up.

Yeah. Hiking in the full-on uniform. Yeah. No water bottles, just Skechers, like slacks and, I mean, a jacket. The vest. Yeah. And the long-sleeve shirt. What commitment, you know?

Yeah, and Skechers. Well, they all wear Skechers. They do? Those, like, black, like, busboy shoes. Oh, okay. wear Skechers. They do? Those like black, like busboy shoes. Oh, okay. Shoes for crews. Is that what they're called? That was what we called it, because it had the bottoms that could grip the floor.

Oh, yeah. Shoes for crews. For crews. Crews like a crew of work people. Oh. Like a work crew. Yeah. It looked like orthopedic shoes.

Mm-hmm. So the first convenience store to stay open 24 hours was a 7-Eleven in Austin, Texas, after a University of Texas football game. This is like the 1960s. Students kept flooding in and people at the game, and they just never could close. They stayed open all night, and then they started realizing there's people that want to come around the clock so they started open around the clock 24 hours and then they were like oh games are only once a week now there's 150 000 convenience stores in the united states just wow just a little most people spend how much time would you say spend in a grocery store and a convenience store so accounting you spend six seconds.

Half hour. Well, the walk was... Before I told that story, I would have said I spent all day in there. That's true. You're saying... Grocery store, the average person

spends 41 minutes in a grocery store. Yeah. 41 minutes. Gas station, 12. Three and a half minutes. Three and a half. In and out.

Because most people... Well, 12 is a lot. Yeah. Yeah, what are you doing in there? If you're making a hot dog, you could be making a hot dog at the Love's. You ever had a...

Everybody spent 12 minutes. That's a lot. About 10 minutes in, the employees would be like, what's this guy doing? Yeah, he's casing the place. He's been here a while. Yeah, is this guy working?

Most people go in, grab a drink or something. Yeah, I don't think shifts are 12 minutes long. Love's is one of the last places that they'll say, welcome to Love. When you walk in, they'll welcome you. Welcome to Love's. And what do you say back? I give them a wave.

Yeah. I go, all right. Over 80% of convenience store food. They go, which one's yours? A big one in the back over there. You got a big semi. That's right. Yeah, exactly.

I got my little headphone on with the mic. Oh, yeah, the Bluetooth. A little trucker headset. A little Love's Hack. They got that other register in the back. Go use that. Okay. I've seen so many times.

Long line in the front. There use that yeah okay i've seen so many times long line in the front and i go there's another one back yeah just go back there with the beef jerky and slam jams trucker back there trying to pay for eight grand of fuel you just got your little package trying to get a shower set up yeah yeah. Yeah. And you're out there, I'll take these nerds and some Tylenol PM. 80% of convenience store food is purchased, I mean, that's purchased

is eaten within the first hour. 65% is eaten immediately. Yeah, that's where I'm at. Sometimes you just take the wrapper to the cash register. You've already eaten. You know what I mean? You're like, that would be 10% is eaten before. Well, millennials, I'd be you, right?

They buy at least one prepared food from a convenience store each week, meaning that's their meal. You're more than that? I'm way above that. I probably spend 85% of my money at gas stations. Really? If I just total everything up. What do you get, a sandwich?

Not a prepared meal, but yeah, maybe like one of the, you know, a sandwich that's wrapped up or something like that. What about a- I've eaten a lot of gas station hot dogs. I had to cut that out. Like a Sheetz or a Wawa. They have a- A Wawa has a pretty good sandwich. I remember people really going crazy for Wawa. I like a sheets or a uh wawa they have a wawa has a pretty good sandwich i remember people

really going crazy for wawa i like a sandwich went crazy this past weekend yeah uh there was like a news story oh okay oh there was yeah but it was uh the there's a the wawa that was a big wawa as big as like big jay and and all the guys I started with were Philly. So New Jersey and they all loved Wawa. So it was like a big deal. Big J would make us go, which we loved it. He'd make us go every time. He'd say, we got to go to Wawa.

And we'd go get a sandwich there. Wawa. It is good. Wawa was the first one that I was like, oh, wow. And you can make a hot sandwich. It beat out Firehouse Subs, Jersey Mike's, and Subway for best sandwich. It is a great sandwich. Wow.

It's famous once the Gobbler, made with turkey, gravy, stuffing, and cranberry sauce. Like a Thanksgiving sandwich? Sounds like it. What do you guys think is the number one item bought in a convenience store? Cigarettes. You talking about gas? Well, besides gas. Outside gas. Inside the store. Inside bought in a convenience store? Cigarettes. Do you want gas? Well, besides gas, inside the store. Inside the store.

It's got to be cigarettes. Gum. Hold on. Tobacco. Hold on. Hold on. It's going to be Doritos. Well, that would be snacks.

It's not that specific. Oh. So you'll say snacks? I'll say... I'm not going to. I know I'll drink soda. Is that snacks? That'd be... I know I'll drink soda. Is that snacks?

That'd be separate. I'm going beer. Beer's number two. Yeah. Tobacco's number one. All right. Snacks number three. Snacks are actually number five.

What else is there? Drinks were four. I said drinks. Number three, lottery tickets. Oh, man. I would think that'd be one. Yeah. Did you ever drive to another state for lottery tickets? Well, in Alabama, you can't get lottery tickets. So I used to go

to Georgia. Actually, in Alabama, you have to be 19 to get cigarettes. So when I was 18, I would go to Georgia and get cigarettes and lottery tickets. You could smoke them at 18. You can only buy them at 19. You could smoke them really any age. Yeah, we've had that exact conversation. I think we should.

Yeah. It's like we're having deja vu here. Yeah. You know, just trying to keep the kids, giving them some life hacks. This is all the kids listening. Well, yeah. Kids, if you're having trouble buying cigarettes in your own state, why don't you drive home?

Well, I remember a lady in Georgia being like, you're not supposed to be over here buying them. I shouldn't even sell them to you. And it's like, well, just do it. Come on, you know what's happening. Would you just stock up so you didn't have to go all the time? Oh, no. We were living in the moment.

You are when you're little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're little. When you're younger, that being said, you are very much in the, like you're not buying, you're putting $5. I mean, you can't do that anymore, but I put $5 of gas in just enough to get me. Yeah. So as, so that is true.

And when you're younger, you're kind of just like, I'm getting place to place to place to place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you want that to stop, you got to start thinking of a bigger picture. And I don't think I ever bought a pack of cigarettes that I didn't say, is my last pack you know what i mean i'm like i'm quitting right after this that's good i did eventually that's cool and it feels good there you go my lungs feel good yeah it's you know you just try to make it better yeah it's good kids are listening yes exactly it is good to breathe well yeah yeah it helps you know it helps you feel better the more oxygen you get the happier you

are two most famous convenience store drinks both from 7-eleven slurpy icy well uh well i see something in itself and then the big gulp. Oh, yeah. Big Gulp. Big Gulp. It was the largest drink available by any reason. 32 ounces, the Big Gulp. And then they did the Double Gulp, which is 50 ounces. And then they had the Monstrous Team Gulp, which is 128 ounces. How big a cup is that?

128 ounces. Or do Team Gulp. Oh, it's like a Gatorade. it's like what you give to a team one of those big tubs what's the smallest cup on there what is that that's an original fountain drink from mcdonald's in 1955 their cups were seven ounces which is like an espresso shot almost you ever go to the movies though and they're like, hey, if you get the large, you get a free refill. I'm always like, who wants a refill after drinking all of this? Oh, you take one to go on the way out.

I've got a refill. Yeah. I put a lot of ice in. Okay. So I go, I don't ever get a refill on the popcorn. Yeah. But I go fill another soda up. Yeah. So they used to do Slurpees and Big Gulp. You have to a refill on the popcorn. Yeah. But I go fill another soda up. Yeah.

So they used to do Slurpees and Big Gulp. You have to do it behind the counter. You couldn't do it yourself. You had to take it. Or when you asked for it, they would do it. I do remember that. And they would make it. Yeah.

And then the Big Gulp became such an issue that when Michael Bloomberg was trying to ban sodas in New York City, they called it the Big Gulp ban. I was living there when that happened. I was furious. Yeah, you were against it. Yeah. Furious. It was going to change your life. Well, it's, I mean, look, the audacity to go like,

yeah, I drink a lot of soda. But no one should tell me I can't have soda. I'm for it. Like they were just, like it was, that was insane. It was only like a certain amount of ounces. Oh. Yeah, I agree. Everybody was furious.

The nanny state. Yeah. So it didn't pass? No, I don't know. I don't think so. Yeah. And then the Slurpee. That's like in Seinfeld

when he runs on, we should all wear name tags. Yeah. It's like a version of that. Yeah. His other thing was the calories on menus, right? Yeah, that's good. Yeah.

That's not bothering, you know. It's not keeping you from doing anything. It's not taking something from someone. Right. Yeah. The idea that you go, you're drinking too much soda. You're like, who do you, I mean. You're my mom.

Yeah, just put a picture of somebody in a diabetes trance on a big cult. So you're like, you can look at mom yeah just puts a picture of somebody on a in a diabetes trance on a big cult so you're like you can look at and go this could be like they do with cigarettes yeah in canada they the cigarette packs they have really bad things oh they'll have pictures of like yeah diseased mouths and stuff yeah yeah is there a limit on how much beer you could buy or alcohol in a gas station? Yeah, I guess anywhere. I don't know. I think it depends on if I've gone to a gas station before and stumbled, and they've been like, we're not going to sell you any more alcohol.

Yeah, you're a special case. I remember in Indiana, there was a limit on how many cans of beer you could buy per transaction. So it would have to be split up into multiple transactions i don't remember what the number was 72 maybe do you ever hit it oh yeah all the time yeah yeah so you just have to walk around and get back in line and just buy it buy it 72 cans yeah so i don't remember the exact number but it was was a cutoff. It was like three cases. Yeah, it was after a certain number of cases, it had to be rung up separately to comply with Indiana state law. You drank quite a bit back then.

We were drinking quite a bit back then. Or you drive 10 minutes and go to Michigan, and it's an anarchy up there. You can do whatever you want. Every July 11th, 7-Eleven gives away 500,000 gallons of Slurpee. In Australia, it's November 7th because they write their calendar backwards. Oh, really? Yeah.

That's fun. Yeah. So the Slurpees were so big that the Simpsons, they did a parody called The Squishy. And when the Simpsons movie came out, Slurpee sold The Squishy. I mean, 7-Eleven sold The Squishy. And it was made by accident. It was made by a Dairy Queen worker. His freezer stopped working, so he threw a bunch of soda bottles into his freezer.

And then when he got them out, they had ice in them, and people really loved it. And they're like, oh, what do you call this? He said, I call it the Icy. And that's how Icy started. Wow. I used to love going to Walmart and getting an Icy. And that's how Icy started. Wow. I used to love going to Walmart and getting an Icy. Yeah, and Icy's still around. They're now headquartered here.

I might go get one today. Yeah. That little dog on it. Yeah, you can get it. Oh, I love that logo. You can get it at, I think you can get them at Burger King. Is it a dog or a polar bear? It's a polar bear.

Yeah, it could be a bear. Yeah, it might have to go. But then when 7-Eleven bought the rights from him, they changed it to Slurpee, the name, the Slurpee. Take Harper and go get an iced tea today. Yeah. Think it might happen. You go Coke, I see.

I like the Coke, yeah. Really? I go Cherry. Cherry's good too, though. Cherry will mess up your whole day, though, and your whole mouth is red. I'm prepared for that. I think ahead. I think, who. I'm prepared for that. I think ahead.

I think, who am I meeting today? Yeah. Am I going to be comfortable with them knowing what's going on? And today's a day where you'd be fine. I'm probably not going to talk anymore today. Counterbalance the tea. Yeah. Go something hot, get something almost frozen.

Yeah. I went high, two old money here. So I'm going to go new lotto money. Icy. Good money. The world's largest convenience store, Bucky's in New Brunsville, Texas. 120 gas pumps, 83 bathroom stalls, 1,000 parking spaces. Oh, my God.

I need to go see that one. 31 cash rushers. Parked right by the bathroom. Got in and out. Pay at the pump is a relatively new thing. Yeah, I remember not doing that. My mom still does it. Yeah.

She didn't know how to do it, so she'll just go in and pay. She didn't care. She gets gas like three times a year. But they thought that would cut out all the buying all the stuff because if people weren't going in anymore you know it was really cut down but it actually had the opposite effect because now the lines weren't as long for everybody and having to pay gas so the people who were really into buying stuff just made a day of it and it actually picked up sales what would you think about if almost it was like a sonic thing where you pump your gas and then you could order stuff at the gas pump and they'd bring it

out to you on roller skates uh yeah it'd have to be quick yeah it'd have to be quick it'd be before you were done pumping gas i think but i think like oh have you pressed it let's say you put the gas and then you're like well yeah bring me out a diet coat and some gum. And then just tack it onto that gas bill and they just bring it out to you. If it were fast, I'd be into it. If it was fast, I'd be into it. The thing with Sonic, though, you're looking at a menu. So you would have to know exactly what you want.

They would have a whole menu up. They'd have some sausage. Yeah. If they could bring me a jug to use the bathroom in, that would be, that would be, that would be fun. I would,

like if they had food, like good food, like if it was a place like that, you'd be like, hey, I want to, I'll take a number one. Yeah.

Yeah. What I'm saying is McDonald's should start selling gas. Yeah. Have a gas pump. I wish they had some mom and pop places

inside like a Love's where you could go get a hamburger, like a good hamburger. It's always like, I mean, I'm not a McDonald's fan. It's McDonald's and Subway. Subway, maybe a Hardee's once in a while. Hardee's every now and then. Yeah.

I wish they had some mom and pop gas station. What's the age that you think you start filling the tank up every time? What do you mean? You know, like when you first drive, you're never filling the tank up. But then you do hit an age. I guess you've got to have like a real job. Yeah, you've got to have some money. But then you start filling it up every time.

Probably like mid. I mean, do you fill it up every time? Close to 30. I fill it up every time. Do you, Dusty? Yeah. Well, sometimes I get, if I'm like, I get impatient. Yes. Then I just stop it before, you know. And that's enough. Yeah. Yeah. Well, sometimes I get, if I'm like, I get impatient. Yes.

Then I just stop it before, you know. And that's enough. Yeah. Yeah. Just to get where I'm going. Yes, enough. Enough. You just grab that pump and you go, enough.

Enough. So I think we talked about a previous episode with all these electric cars starting. Convenience stores are actually going down. There's fewer now already than there used to be and they think they'll eventually either fade away or they'll have to change so what they're talking about doing is maybe one thing is i guess most people who have electric cars they have a level one charger they're talking about installing level three chargers which can charge your car so much faster that it's almost like pumping gas, filling your car up with gas.

So that's one thing that they're talking about. If they did that, that would help people go inside. Yeah. Yeah. Because now it takes a long time to charge a car, right? Yeah. They're going to have to do what these movie theaters are doing, which is they're going to have to turn it into more of an experience for people.

There's going to be a lot more Buc-ee's, a lot more places trying to do that. Which will be fun. Yeah, which will be great. I mean, I'm excited about what's to come. In California, Tesla has already opened a charging hub where you come, there's a lounge, espresso bar, free Wi-Fi. So that's kind of what you're thinking. Yeah, culturally a little different than what I'm – We want something more fun.

We want more of a Buc-ee's. But I'm sure that place would like some hot tea and some free Wi-Fi. So convenience stores will either go away or they're just going to have to totally change the way they do things. And we've talked about Harper pumping gas and stuff like that. I know she's already been with you to pump gas before. But our daughters, I mean, that's 15, 16 years from now. Who knows?

I know. It's going to be a wild world out here. Your daughter's definitely going to pump gas. Your daughter's going to have gallons wild world out here. Your daughter's definitely going to pump gas. Yeah. Your daughter's going to have gallons of gas in her crib. Yeah. We're gas for life out here. Yeah.

Yeah, we're gas for life. Yeah. I think you're still be – She'll definitely live in a world, so will Harper, where there is no gas station. I mean, when she gets older. Yeah. We're mad at Max. I don't know, man. I mean, it she gets older. Yeah. We're mad at Max. I don't know, man.

I mean, it's, you know. I think it'll be like DVDs. Well, California. You'll know what they are, but you might not buy them. Yeah. California said by 2035, selling all electric cars. I'm more into DVDs than ever. So.

Yeah. I hope they have like a McKay's gas station. You know what I mean? Yeah. So you can go get gas for cheap. Yeah. I could see. Used gas.

Yeah. Used gas. Yeah. They got to be, yeah. I could see using DVDs. Yeah. It's like when you play, I don't play video games a lot, but we have one on the bus.

Everything's like, just to play the game now, it's like, it's a whole thing. It's all these, you know, there's all this extra stuff they're adding. You're like, I just want to go. I want to play. I know. In movies and everything, you're like, you do go, if I put this DVD in, it's playing.

It's right there. It's not going to be a thing. Yeah. I'm into it. I'm going to have to log in. I hate video games with a story. I don't play a lot of games either, but if there's a story,

I'm like, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. I don't need to know the story. Yeah. Well, some games you do. Not for me. I don't need to know it either. I'm like, where are they hiding the gun? And where's the car?

I can see it. I watched The Core last night. The Core? Oh, my gosh. I haven't seen that movie forever. Where they go to the center of the earth? That the car? I watched The Core last night. The Core? Oh, my gosh. I haven't seen that movie in forever. Where they go to the center of the earth? That's where they go to The Core. I remember that movie.

Pretty fun. Yeah. I liked it. All I remember about The Core. No, I wouldn't be interested in it, though. Yeah. It's the guy they hired to hack. You like science fiction?

Yeah, exactly. Heavy on the fiction? Yeah. It's the guy they hired to hack the internet. Yeah. And he goes, I'm going to need a lot of hot pockets yeah i remember that line yeah yeah pretty good thank you guys for money he asked well that's one of his requests i'm gonna need unlimited money is that what he said well they go can you hack the internet with unlimited resources he's like i'm gonna need a lot of hot but i mean like uh i'd want to i'd get, like, is he going to get paid, too?

He gets paid, I think. You think so? Well, he was also doing a bunch of illegal stuff, and they arrest him, and this is like, I'll do this. I'll hack the internet for you, if I remember correctly. It's been a while since I've seen it. In that movie, they make it to the center of the earth. Yeah.

They get down there. It's real hot. Oh, it's real hot down there. Yeah. Well, they make it to the center of the Earth. Yeah. They get down there. It's real hot. Oh, it's real hot down there. Yeah. Well, they get out at one point, which is kind of funny. They get to the middle, and then they hit a point where they're like, I guess we gotta get out of our ship. And you're like,

well, I don't think we could. That doesn't make sense. Did you see where NASA crashed a spacecraft into an asteroid? Oh, man. Yeah, to see if they can make it bounce a different direction, so if one ever came toward Earth, they could divert it. There you go. They said it'll be a while before they know for sure if it changed course, I think.

How would you not know right away? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I don't know. I guess it must have been very slight. Yeah, it's not like it goes opposite directions like a pinball. Boing. I'd like to hear a boing. Is there video footage of the crash?

There's animation. Oh, animation. No real footage. I haven't seen real footage. Yeah, they got a drawing of it. They got a lot of hot pockets. And you go, is it going to work? You're like, we won't know for quite a while. Yeah.

When's the last time you stopped at a gas station and they gave you a key? To go to the bathroom? Yeah. Not that long ago. Yeah. I would say within the year. There's one on the way to McMinnville when I go out there. Those are probably not convenient.

So those are gas stations, right? Those are straight up Chevrons. Yeah. This one's like a little bit of a grocery store in Watertown. Yeah. It's a good spot. I like it. How'd you say that watertown watertown waterton water now it's watertown but you put a little r in the water water water water yeah order to return is that basically it yeah i'll show this video uh this is leaking so uh they were all the guys that go on the road with me uh which has been you guys everybody i've started with i've been around i've known for 20 years and they very

nicely got me a hiking stick with a rain check tour on it and then they got a poster with everybody's or a picture of everybody's face on it. That's cool. It was very cool. They forgot Gary Veeder. Julian forgot Gary Veeder, so then they wrote another letter. But it was very sweet. It was like a perfect gift.

We forgot to put the hiking stick on the bus, so they had to get it through the airport. And so Veeder and Julianian two perfect people to try to do this but they they were like well just have a fake limp so i mean just he walked through the airport and that's how they got the stick home it's just him acting julian acting like oh man pretend it was a medical device it was a medical, pretend it was a medical device. Wow. And he had, I mean, that's worse than a guitar. It's just huge.

It doesn't move. What did he do with it on the plane? I don't know. Julian figures stuff out. He figures stuff out. All right. Sorry about my voice. We love you always.

I'm about to announce the 2023 dates coming up. I also have big dates, two weeks. Fargo, North Dakota, Casper, Wyoming, I'm coming out there. I'm blanking. Cedar Rapids, bunch of stuff. And this weekend, Greg Warren. This weekend. Greg Warren special. i'm directing it producing it with a unherbound gorilla lexington comedy club comedy off broadway great comedy club great comedy greg's very very funny y'all saw him on the podcast yeah come out to that saturday

night we're taping the show he's there all weekend uh so come to any of them but saturday we are taping it uh we appreciate everybody that will come it's going to be i'm very excited we're almost done with mike vecchione special so we're no more about that but it looks great uh so uh yeah come out to greg's this weekend uh it's thursday i'm with angela johnson in memphis and then uh saturday i'm with angela Here in town At the Ryman Auditorium Where she is Taping her special So I'm gonna

Be opening her for that And she's doing Two shows at Ryman That'll be fun And then October 22nd I'm recording My dry bar special In Provo, Utah

Provo, Utah Yeah October 22nd Yep That's awesome Everybody go check that out Yeah October 22nd Yeah This's awesome everybody go check that out yeah yeah october 22nd yeah

this weekend tonight i'm in texas i'm in texas all weekend houston tonight at the secret group then brian texas and then all weekend in dallas at hyenas comedy club which i've never been to i'm excited and then next weekend the stress factory in bridgeport connecticut where i've never been it's a great club. Yeah, it is fun. I've got a lot of Stress Factories. That's a big one for us. I've never done either of them, so I'm pumped about it.

And then I've got a bunch of dates coming up. Chicago, Milwaukee, Davenport, Iowa. Come see me. I want to say, since the last time we've done a podcast, I was in Greenville, South Carolina at the Comedy Zone. I had a great time. A lot of Nate Lamb fans came out. I appreciate that. Those shows were really hot. I had a great time. A lot of Nate Lamb fans came out. I appreciate that.

Those shows were really hot. I had a good run of Comedy Zones. Jacksonville, Greensboro, Greenville, all hot. And this weekend, I'll be at the Funny Bone in Dayton, Ohio, September 30th, October 1st. And then October 4th, I'm back at Zany's in Nashville. All right. That's good.

Yeah. All right. We love you. See you next time. Thank you. Bye. that's good yeah all right we love you see you next time thank you nateland is produced by nateland productions and by me nate bargetzi and my wife lara on the all things comedy network recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the nateland podcast