The Nateland Podcast - #122 Comedy & Caricatures with Kevin Nealon

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

This week, Dusty is on the road so we're joined by legendary comedian and actor Kevin Nealon. Kevin tells us some amazing stories including surfing with Steve Martin, a date with James Taylor and a scary plane ride with Jay Leno. We also discuss his love for drawing caricatures and his new book I Exaggerate: My Brushes With Fame.     Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]

Hello folks and hey there welcome to the Nate Land podcast all right welcome everybody we're glad you're here I'm sitting here with Brian Bates Aaron Weber Dusty Slay locked up from what I've heard if that's true is it he

what happened manslaughter slaughter of a man well last time you said that about Aaron people believed it Dusty even more so I would say Dusty is more believable

for sure Dusty had the trailer. I would say Dusty's more believable for sure. Dusty had the trailer come over through all some fireworks. Someone debated Christianity and he started throwing fists. He's been known to do it. Dusty's going to be back

in six to eight months. Good behavior. Luckily, good behavior. No, Dusty's fine. He was on the road. Couldn't go back. And we have, he will be in here shortly, as we've learned you see from the comments, or from the title of it.

But Kevin Nealon is here, which we're excited. He's got a new book, I Exaggerate My Brushes with Frame. Very cool book. Fame. My Brushes with Fame. Frameworks, too. exaggerate my brushes with frame very cool book fame my brushes with fame uh frameworks too framework yeah and then it's it's yeah it's awesome it's it's it's a portrait that he did of all these uh celebrities and just you know crazy people we've met and the stories on how he met them very very good idea for a book uh you know it's hard to come up with a book like that seems interesting and this seems like a very fun it's

you know you read it's very fun yeah it's great it's very right i look forward to it because it's just like this is the kind of book that i like where it's like david letterman and then he just you know it's perfect for you because it's easy reading and there's lots of pictures. Yeah. And if you lose track, you can just look at whoever the picture is. Yeah. And remember, like, who was that? Oh, David Letterman. Yep. The artwork's amazing, too.

Yeah. It really is. He's good. Oh, he has Andy Cawthon? Mm-hmm. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. Wow.

All right. We'll talk to him about that. When he gets here, I'll talk about my weekend. You guys had big headlining weekend. really well and then when i said good night some people up front stood wow and i was like wow i didn't i guess i did even better than i thought yeah and then afterwards in line they were like we just did that because you said on the podcast about not getting standing elevation yeah but it still looked good and then show two some people did it again and by the next night people were over it but yeah then you got into the real crowd yeah Yeah, exactly. There was one, I had one breakfast moment where somebody, a folk said they saw it. I was sitting in the back.

You know, the owner there, the comedy catch, just like, you know, you just want to earn their respect. And I feel like for 15 years, I've never got disrespect. And I had really good shows Friday night and good crowds. I'm like, man. But he still hadn't said a word to me. And I feel like nothing had changed. And then Saturday night, I'm sitting back there before the show. And he comes over and he goes'm like, man. But he still hadn't said a word to me. And I felt like nothing had changed. And then Saturday night, I'm sitting back there before the show, and he comes over and he goes, hey, Brian, I'm thinking he's going to like,

you killed it last night. You're doing a great job. And he's like, give up this table so these people can sit here. Move over there. That's the only thing he said to me all weekend. But somebody saw it, and they thought it was very funny. I like that people are catching it. Because when I'm not there, I think that was very funny. I like that. Uh, people were catching it because when I'm not there, I like to,

I like to hear the report. You like to report back. I like to report back to breakfast sightings and just like something that's not happening. You wearing your button down and you have to grab your things and move over. My merch and all that. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't even think about the merch.

That's so funny. You get a box of shirts. What do you have, shirts? Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. Thanks for all the folks that came out. Yeah, thank you. That's so cool.

Sure, man. Yeah, where were you at? I was just down the road from you, Brian. I was in Atlanta, Georgia at the Punchline Headline. Had a few people come see me there. We saw Brian last night. Oh, wow. So a bunch of folks were double dipping this weekend. So that's a lot of fun. All the shows were great. Thanks to everybody that came out. I was in pain all weekend. It was kind of a bummer. I got my wisdom teeth taken out on Tuesday. And I had, I think it's called a dry socket.

Yeah. It was not good. Like I was in legitimate pain for most of the weekend. I almost, I almost for the late show Friday was like, I can't do the show. Cause I got off stage and my jaw was like locked up and I couldn't, could barely talk. After show one. After show one, it was like, this could be a problem. So I just sat

in the green room and like rubbed my jaw for like an hour it was bad all weekend i feel better now but if you uh if you were at the shows and i looked like i was in pain that's what was that's what was happening it was not good yeah yeah did they look like they were in pain no one show one show is very funny it's like a certain point stuff doesn't even bother me anymore if it's so if somebody's so disrespectful in the crowd it's almost funny yeah uh late show friday i mean woman never faced me the entire show we're just looking looking at the bathroom and every now and then i'd say a word that she recognized and she'd like kind of look over her shoulder and go like now and then, I'd say a word that she recognized, and she'd look over her shoulder and go, yeah.

Then just look back. She faced the wall the entire time. One guy was asleep in the front. That stuff's going on where it's like, this is almost... I'm not even mad about this. This is so funny. It's par for the course. Right.

Other than that, the shows were all great. I i was in pain but i had a good time they have that going on you got a dry socket going on i mean just a mess of a show anyone near the stage was just a mess like including aaron and the people in the front it's just everybody was going through it that day i gotta get my wisdom teeth out. Oh, really? Yeah, I think in January. I'm trying to find the time to do it. How many days to Tuesday? Because I think I'm doing it because I showed the thing.

I get into the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am. But I'm doing it, I think, the week before that, like a Monday. And then I'll fly out for that on that Sunday. So I'm home. You'll be fine. Yeah. I think it's rare what happened to me. I was fine.

It's like four days afterwards it started hurting. What'd you do to get a dry socket? I think I didn't do any of the stuff they tell you not to do, smoke or anything like that. But I just looked and there's just a big hole in my, I think the blood clot or whatever heals over the, it just came out. How many did you have removed? I had three. How many are you having? I think i only have three yeah you only have three one of them was bad they're like we

gotta take that out and then if we don't take the other two out your whole mouth they'll get they'll be sad they'll be upset yeah he's gone are you hello you over there where'd you go i guess i just woke up he's my best friend yeah uh do you have yours out yeah yeah four removed when uh 15 years ago i was a little bummed i was expecting some like hijinks when i got out of the anesthesia yeah every other person i've interacted with when they got their wisdom teeth taken out they were like doing funny stuff they were loopy i was like right back in it right yeah it was kind of a bummer like you were completely out yeah i was completely coherent as soon as i woke no i mean but you were you were completely knocked out.

Yeah, it worked. The anesthesia worked, but there was no period where I was loopy or fun or anything. I was just- I was asking because some people just aren't completely out. There's a couple of ways you can do it, I think. Oh, they knocked me out cold for sure. I was too, and I freaked out. Really?

It was my first time to ever be under anesthesia. Yeah. And I was so nervous about it. I was time to ever be under anesthesia yeah and uh i was so nervous about it i was about to have a panic attack and then the dentist like they're hooking me up to iv and he said this to make me feel better but it made me freak out more he goes i'm freaking out he goes don't worry in about 10 seconds you're not gonna know anything but that made me freak out even more yeah for about 10 seconds and then i was out. And when you woke up, you were fine? Yeah.

Yeah, I think I'm kind of nervous about it, too. Because I don't – it's like the idea of no control. Absolutely. That's what it is. I don't like that at all. I don't like that at all. Can you take some – or they ease you into it? I would recommend it.

They just think it's such an easy procedure that they're like, you don't need anything. Yeah. I would have taken some. Mentally, I'm going to be – I'm most scared about that. I was the same way. The last thing I remember, I'm laying in the thing, and they're like, all right, they hooked me up to an IV.

And then they just start talking about their weekends. So did you go to the pumpkin patch last week? And then I'm just out. So it's so casual for them. They do this a million times. You would hope that they would talk about something smart you know like the last thing you hear you don't know i ran out of gas this morning and then you're like oh gosh what happened you'd hope they would you know be like uh here we're going to read the encyclopedia before we get started you'd be like oh wow some professional

guys here and it goes you know i got a flat tire i'm so hung over what a weekend i don't even know where i'm at i do not feel like doing this and then you're just and then you go that would be that's what i don't want i'm nervous i'm nervous about that going under and then uh i hope I'm up and at them. Harper wants to come film me. I was hoping I'd at least do something fun. Yeah. But I still had to get pushed out in a wheelchair, which is pretty nice.

Yeah, did you ask to drive home? Maybe I'll take it from here. I did. I was like, I don't need the wheelchair. I'm fine. They're like, no, you legally can't. Yeah. And Lucy drove me i would

rather have driven would have been a less stressful drive for sure well didn't she used to have a joke about when she had hers done oh yeah when i went this is when we were dating yeah and i was her chaperone i had to go pick her up and she woke up and she was so loopy that she she couldn't remember my name to tell. So she just goes, he's a big fat guy. And the nurse comes out and like, I mean, knows it's me immediately. And walks up and goes, hey, your girlfriend's back there. And then the nurse told me that as I'm walking back.

She's like, yeah, she just said you're a big fat guy out there, so I knew it was you. That's great all right let's uh start with you guys's comments uh first up uh lindsey fletcher hey bear i have never been so grateful that my baby woke up at 3 a.m until i saw brian dressed up as dusty yeah people loved it a lot of people, everyone agree with you about I look like Garth from Wayne's World. A lot of people said I look like the woman from The Incredibles, Edna. Okay. Yeah.

There she is. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good. Edna Mode. Yeah. So, yeah, but people liked it. Yeah. Krista Wilson.

Aaron, while I do love watching them give you a hard time, I thought you looked confident and pretty darn handsome in that interview. Hey, thank you very much. Wow. Appreciate that, dude. And Brian dug up some old Nate Bargetzi interviews from back in the day. I could not wait to get home to do that research i i said i probably you did you did cover yourself yeah did it well did the one

with this shirt yeah yeah yeah that wasn't really a lime king shirt was it it was a it's a nashville zoo shirt okay a lot of people it was i went to a nashville zoo phase. But I liked the Nashville Zoo phase. I still like the Nashville Zoo. But it was, yeah, you can't see it. I see a little leaning forward, not quite as confident as you were back then. Not confident back then. No, I was in your same shoes. Well, I watched that whole interview and found the least confident pose I could find.

Yeah. Well, it was, yeah, I was definitely not. I mean, short sleeves are insane to wear on tv that was a huge mistake uh i mean they gotta put that mic it just looks like it's just taped on you don't even there's no hiding it it looks like you know someone's getting interviewed by just saw a ufo and they're like just whatever get him strapped up and. So a tornado came through your town. I go, yes, sir. Yes, sir. Right when the, you know,

or if we go under wisdom team. And that photo of the kids dressed up as us, that was great. That was amazing. I saw that up there too. Yeah, he'll get into it at some point. I need to log into Instagram to look at all this stuff. We'll do it.

Alex Hutchins. Hutchkins. Hutchings. Let's be real here. The fourth head on the horror Mount Rushmore is Chucky. That's a fair one. It's a fair one. We mentioned Chucky a little bit.

Yeah. Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. It's a fair one. We mentioned Chucky a little bit. Yeah. Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. What if you just put Dracula? Well, there's another one on here that I think it says that. Yeah. Okay.

John Whipple. The Mount Rushmore of horror is clearly Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Maybe you could replace Leatherface with Pinhead from the original Hellraiser. Anything else is millennial or gen z silliness whoa yeah came out hard came out i like it i think i like you just being in with your group yeah i think i like that and i mean i look i hope millennial and gen Z's are the same thing. Just stick with what you're, and you stick with it, you go, you're ridiculous.

Anything else is boomer nonsense. Yeah, yeah. And then they do the same thing, and we just keep this cycle going. It's a good thing. Yeah. Tom Jopson. Tom Jopson. I think I was going to say Jacobson. I bet people say that to him, Tom Jacobson.

And then he goes, no, just Jopson. And they go, alright. Was Tom Jobson the one that came to your both shows? I don't know. I think that's him. I think he did two, or half of the band. Oh, cool. Yeah. You would know. Yeah.

She saw his ID. He was a man more of my age. Yeah. Okay. Dracula. Frankenstein. The Mummy. Phantom of the Opera, the Mount Rushmore. These fellows were the inspiration for every character who scared the hot water out of the audience. I can tell Tom's your age based on those suggestions. Those suggestions and scared the hot water out of the audience. It's a clean podcast.

Oh, man. Yeah. Tom's favorite comic. Oh, man. Yeah. Tom's favorite comic is Charlie Chaplin, too. Yeah. Based on. Did. That would be true. I don't know about fan of opera.

I would never. Fan of the opera. Singing. I could see you'd have Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy. So I guess it's two different. That's the thing. Because you would be Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy. But that's just three.

I'm a fan of the opera, I don't. That I don't really. That mask is iconic, half the mask. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean. I'm trying to think of a fourth one from that. The Invisible Man. Yeah.

Maybe. Just a blank. Yeah. Just a blank. They just chisel that one off. Yeah. Fan of the opera. I mean, Tom, that's an old money suggestion right there.

Throw that in there. He's like Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy. That's what all the nannies watched. Fan of the opera. That's where I went to the opera. And I watched it at the Mount Rushmore. He watched Fan of the Opera at the Mount Rushmore. Estella Otero.

Otero. Otero. There's a whole documentary about Robert the Doll. Apparently, if you don't introduce yourself when you visit his home museum, he'll haunt you even when you're not in the museum anymore. There's a lot of people who send him letters apologizing to him so he will stop haunting him. There's also quite a few deaths that have been pinned on him. Quite interesting to think about.

Interesting. I would watch that. I would not go to that museum. Scarier looking than Chucky, I think. Yeah. Something about a featureless face. The fewer the features, the scarier it is. There's a documentary about it.

Yeah. Oh, wow. It's called The Story of Robert the Doll. Let's see how that goes. Chad Prock. I went to the Robert the Doll Museum with some buddies. After all the warnings posted about not taunting Robert the Doll, I goaded my best friend into taunting the doll.

He took a picture without permission, and long story short, develops Bell's palsy a week later. Is that real? I mean, I didn't. He didn't send us the picture. No. He did, yeah. He didn't send us the picture. No. He did, yeah. I think there was more to it.

He said his buddy's now recovered and says it was just a coincidence, but they feel like Robert did it to him. Well, I mean, yeah, that's the stuff that's, like, weird. Yeah. But, I mean, yeah, I mean, it could be. Yeah, you know, it depends on what you. But that is crazy. Wow, wow.

I'm glad he's recovering imagine how mad you'd be you just have bell's palsy and you're just like how'd you get it robert because my dead gum friends made me taunt this doll what'd you do because i was doing like you know stuck my tongue out like just it's not even that good of stuff. You're like, then he goes, I don't know. He goes, I turned my back to it. Joe Leonard, when it comes to the missing feet washing up the shore,

look into the missing 411 phenomenon. There's a bunch of strange disappearances in North America wilderness areas and national parks. Some of the people are found miles away

from the area they disappeared, and they are often missing their feet with no clear cause of death. It is often speculated to be paranormal somehow, and others even believe it to have a connection to UFOs. Yeah. Abigail gave me these books. Missing 411? Yeah.

Yeah, she watches. Or she did something. I don't, you know. They haven't been opened. I think Bigfoot is another. But I would like to read. It's stuff that I think I would find fun. This is often the Pacific Northwest. They think maybe Bigfoot has something to do with these

people missing. Oh, yeah. Takes everything but the feet. He's a foot guy. All right. Mary Lancaster. we're missing oh yeah takes everything but the feet yeah foot guy all right mary lancaster uh i feel like i know man i don't that name sounds like you'd be mary lancaster yeah seems like that's a good name that you you would if you were like you're about to meet mary lancaster you'd feel comfort you'd be like oh that's good it's going to be a pleasant experience mary lancaster l Lancaster. Like the city.

Yeah. I've heard it both ways. Well, now I'm mispronouncing it and she hits me. And I'm like, well, Mary, this is un... What are you doing, Mary? I'm a language arts and social studies teacher in Westfield, Indiana. Our upcoming language arts unit gives students the choice of reading about high interest topics. And the Bermuda Triangle is one of the choices.

My sixth grader chose the Bermuda Triangle last year and became obsessed. So, yes, some kids still learn about it. That's good to know. It's good to know. Passing it on. Passing it on. They should be scared of it like we were. Your generation missed it, but now it's coming back around.

Yeah, well, you guys grew up in la-la land. We had real stuff going on in the world. was the point i was trying to make is that we lost our innocence way too young yes you know y'all were thrown right into it right and you're starting trivial things exactly right and you're seeing the effects of it now yeah yeah you know we never had anxiety y'all have i mean my generation was thrown into a war. But, yeah, I'm sure big groups are tough for you guys. And, you know, that's a hard time. V-E-Wing-08. V-Wing-08.

I like how Nate talked about dumping his trash in the ocean. He shakes the bag out as if it's fine to dump trash in the ocean, but you need to reuse the garbage bag. Smart. You got to be, I like the idea of you're doing something. You go, look, I get dumping this trash in this garbage bag in the ocean is bad, but at least when people confront me about it i go hey i bring the bag back yeah i'm using my bag you guys are just

launching bags out there i'm doing something and they'd be we'd rather you just keep it in the bag for the animals so it doesn't disperse yeah you're part of the problem is the reason why you got trash that we can't get into a thing. I'm sorry. Josh Gaines. Not sure why it bothered me, but Aaron got the end of Family Man wrong. But I won't spoil the actual ending, so feel free to keep it on your list right after Shawshank Redemption. I don't know what I got wrong. In fact, I'm pretty sure I did not get it wrong.

I mean, I left out some details. Yeah. I watched the ending last night. Yeah. I think you just maybe chose not to get into the weeds of it. Right. Just the broad strokes. Right.

And I didn't want to spoil it for Nate, who's going to watch it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Once he finishes those 411 books, and then he watches Shawshank Redemption, he'll get around the family. Yeah. Last night, I watched The Ledge.

And it's about these two girls. On a ledge. On a ledge. Hot tub time machine. I'm just going to tell you. Yeah. And there's a ledge involved. And it's in the movie for almost the whole time.

And so these two girls climb. They're going to go climb. And this other guy kills one of them. And then the other one gets stuck on a ledge. And that's the gist, the gist of it. Pretty intense. But, yeah, that's what I was doing. I did watch Downfall. Oh, yeah?

That's something. What's that? It's a movie about Hitler. But the guy that – Hitler's,ler's uh like last i feel like i want to say it was like the last 24 hours or 48 hours and it's pretty it's unreal the guy that plays him is is crazy good oh my gosh i think i can get into that like i think it's like i either want like a the ledge or this kind of movie or it's like i can if someone's so great of an actor that you're just like i can just stare at you yeah all day and like that's what like when there will

be blood like when i never watched that he told me to watch it and you watch it and then daniel day lewis you're like you're so good yeah it's like transcendent yeah you're you're like i can't believe i love you a little every the way you sit the the way you, you're just like, oh my gosh. So that's what I thought with this. This guy, I mean, it's just so crazy. If you haven't seen Downfall, you've probably seen the meme. Do you remember the old meme of people would put fake subtitles over that one scene where he's confronting all his officers? Yeah, that was one of the original memes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very funny. Yeah, it's so good. Yeah, Downfall was, it's just, yeah. Now, you've mentioned There Will Be Blood numerous times, and people have pointed out you don't like, not character actors, but I'm losing the, what's the, when you're in the role? Oh, method actors.

Method actors. Yes. But he's the ultimate method actor. No, I think I said, I don't think i'm my method actors i'm saying you should have to stay in a fenced area and be allowed to mix with the other people so i think i want you to be a method actor but i'm saying they should lock you up put you in a cage put you in a cage and you shouldn't be allowed to go like you know like a guy that's just like putting the craft services out. Shouldn't have to deal with a multimillionaire that's like, we really won't talk to him in gibberish.

Like, I don't think that guy should have to do that. Or he should get paid more to deal with the lunatic. So it's like, go be a method actor, but go be, you should be locked in a thing. Or you just be like, no one talk to me. I just would like want some, even if you want to do it, I would just say like, just go meet everybody regular before and just say, how you doing everybody? Or give a speech and say, I love you all.

I'm not trying to be, I think I can get the best performance out of this for all of us making this. I'm going to just kind of stay in the mind frame of frankenstein this whole time so i'm gonna probably eat alone i'm gonna do a lot of things but like you know i don't know just make it where have have show some uh as a regular person just show some niceness so this guy from downfall shouldn't be hitler to the whole crew yeah he can't well what's crazy is like you when you watch it it's like i mean it's uh it's it's so interesting to see like they play these parts of like what he is like you know in the character like people the lady they interviewed

they were like it was at the end that was i think who did it like you know she talks about like you know none of them knew what they're doing it's it was like none of them uh, you know, she talks about like, you know, none of them knew what they're doing. It's, it was like, none of them, uh, you, you know, they were, if you were in close to the circles of that,

I don't think you knew, you know, I mean, I think they're like, they think they knew something, but they were so young. Like a lot of them are kids. And like,

you just can't wrap your head around what's happening. And you don't know, you know, but then they would meet him. And she was like, he would be very sweet to the people in him. And then he would also say stuff that you're like, what? I watched the whole thing on how he rose. It's crazy. That dude came from nothing.

You almost would think he comes from some rich family or blah, blah, whatever. This is a dude that just came from nothing. And then just, how could you even get something like this going? It's a feel-good story. Yeah. No, it's interesting. It's just so wild to be like, how could you get all these like to believe into what you want to believe and you you have to be uh i mean i don't know you just have it to to do it to get to that level

of things and then even at that this point in the movie so no one's agreeing with him but no one's gonna you know they're like we need to stop doing this it's over and he wouldn't and like no one's everybody's everybody knows he's uh like it's like it's over dude like and he keeps like sending them out and he's still like people are just dying and like it doesn't matter like uh are the germans you know and they're just getting taken over i mean it's yeah it's pretty wild uh i don't know like and the guy that played him is unreal i mean and be able to play that character that's just you know that guy is

a good segue into our art discussion actually failed artist Hitler yeah I mean the fact that he was into that like he was like an art he wanted to go to art school and all this kind of it's just this weird kind of thing

alright Aaron Schill one guy's got to follow that and aaron shill's like i'm good dude just don't read my part i'm like no no aaron we're gonna get to you uh no i've purposed to put this i want this one read uh i was part of the audience in provo that failed to give brian a standing ovation. Trust me. He was very funny and deserving. We'll carry that guilt for at least a little while, hopefully not too long. That's a shill. I think he's being a shill for you. Is that what that means?

Oh, yeah. I didn't know how to use that. Aaron Shill. Well, two on the nose, Aaron. It's probably not his real name. Yeah. What does shill mean? I mean, a shill. I think you just kind of of yeah like it's someone that just goes along with you like hitler's guys or shills yeah yeah yeah oh

so aaron is your yeah uh right am i right yeah yeah yeah yeah all right just keep tying everything back to hitler uh yeah it all goes back to yeah it's it's insane insane uh go watch that downfall movie yeah i mean it's very interesting the last very good like i'm gonna and i'm trying to watch the darkest hour next because then that's uh what's his face i don't know winston churchill maybe oh i saw that that was a few years ago yeah and that's almost like it's funny to like to watch the downfall which is those last 40 and then and then the Winston Churchill is like the other side. Yes. So you get to see both, and those are both serious movies.

So I've got them. I had to throw a ledge in the middle. Yeah. I can't handle too much. Yeah. But we'll get to this eventually. I'm going to learn all about history. That's what I want to learn.

I don't know. I'm going to learn all about history. That's what I want to learn. I don't know. I'm an idiot. It's unreal. I just don't remember school. It's why did I even go? School was a long time ago for you now, man. But you would think I could get through. I mean, I'm watching this stuff.

You could spoil a World War II movie for me. Who won the war? Don't tell me. It's unreal that you could spoil a world war ii movie for me who won the war don't tell me you could it's unreal that you could just i can watch something and i'm like golly dear you can't do like you know it's great pearl harbor hawaii it's beautiful why would anyone complain about being here yeah where are those planes this guy yeah i feel like that could maybe be a joke so that's fun just i'm gonna write that down it's really fun then that's fun we'll see what happens all right everybody we are here with kevin nealon kevin got a new book i exaggerate

my brushes with i said frame when i first did it my brushes with fame. This is a great book idea. Like it's, we talked about it before you got here. It's like you paint a portrait of the celebrity character. And then, I don't know anything about art. Is there a difference between a portrait and a character? Yeah.

Portrait is the actual look of the person. Caricature is an exaggeration. It's like, yeah, it's like just yeah it's like um just stretching out like they have a big nose you would make it a bigger nose yeah so like i would be at a if i was in this book i would have been offended because i would have called this a portrait and i'm like is this what you think i know where do you get off i know man do you have you ever had a character done of you uh i think uh like once at like a you know like a fair like six flags or

something like something like that i've never had like or i guess people fans have done some stuff i don't know if they've done a character maybe i don't know oh they probably have i think yeah i i did one of eddie vetter oh yeah he loved it it's in the book and he's friends with my manager and he told him he says you know i get tons of pictures from fans, but I really love this one. It's the best. I said, well, it's $500, man. Venmo. Yeah.

I met him this weekend. Did you really? This was... The thing that I did this weekend, it was for... I got Who Cares? Teen Cancer America and UCLA Health. And so they donated. They raised a lot of money for that.

It's this big party. Sandler has talked about it on Stern, where it's like they have this. The concert is nuts. It was me doing comedy at the top to people standing up outside. The people up front were very nice, but, know, it's just, no one's listening. It's like when you go up there and people could not know you. I'm so used to that. Yeah.

It just, when you get, it reminded me of when you start and you're just doing shows and you're like, people don't, they're like, I don't, you know, were you up there?

And you're like, and I was doing my act. And then you're, which always feels weird when you're really like in your jokes and you're like, dude, nobody. How much time? By your jokes, and you're like, dude, nobody. How much time did you do? By the way.

20. Incidentally, I found out a way to get people to listen from doing a corporate gig. Some guy told me. He says, what you do is, if they're not listening, you start a prayer. And you're not too loud. He said, oh, Heavenly Father.

Everybody's like, oh, shit. That's a pretty good way to do it. I like that. Well, this book is not just caricatures. It's also anecdotes that go with each caricature about the experience I've had with that person. It's kind of an autobiography that I've written because these are the people I've met along the way and how they either influenced me or we had a relationship together from Farley, Chris Farley. And if I don't know the people and they're like Freddie Mercury, I just muse about being in garage bands or going to my first concert. What was your first concert?

Michael W. Smith. It's a Christian artist. Okay. He was here at Starwood. Yeah. When I grew up, I was, I don't know nothing about,

I know nothing about music. I'm not like a big. You can't, can you whistle? Now we covered that a couple of weeks ago. Can you hum? I can hum,

but it's, I don't never know. So like the thing we went to this weekend, we met Eddie, like it was Green Day, Eddie Vedder. He came out with the who

billy idol john fogarty wow uh and then i mean i did comedy i'm talking my name is on the painting that's scary well there's a caricature right behind you oh yeah i just noticed you were saying that people were looking at it over your shoulder kevin bett i do like that one yeah that's good yellow works uh and so they're like when we were like i met roger daughtry and uh but i and it's i'm ignorant to it it's not right and like so i'm meeting him i'm like hey thanks for having me like i was like he like runs you're not really a fan yeah in fact you dislike him yeah he's like just talking you're like that guy was like whatever and then no and then la's like, that guy was like, whatever. And then, no. And then Laura's like, that guy's responsible for music.

And you're like, oh. Roger Daltrey? I don't know. Just something. He's important. I'm not saying he's responsible for music. I don't know what he, but he was. Isn't he like The Who?

Yeah, he is The Who. Yeah, he's the lead singer. Lead singer of The Who. Yeah. You don't know anything about music. I don't. Do you know? I know don't. Do you know? I know their songs.

Do you know who sang Imagine, who created that show? No. Wow. You've been looking at a couple. Wait, Beatles? John Lennon. John Lennon. Yeah.

I do know that. Who do you know the best, music-wise? The Monkees. I did listen to the Monkees. Daydream believer. I love the to the monkeys. Daydream believer. I love the monkeys. I met, which one is he? Not Michael Nesmith or Davy Jones.

Mickey Dolenz. Oh, yeah. I met him at a fundraiser once. And he's still out there touring. Yeah. I would have loved to meet him. I've seen him, like, when you go on tour, you see everybody's, like, who's coming and stuff.

Yeah, they've been there. And then there, you could see them coming. And the one died, like the main one just died. Michael Misman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have loved to meet him. Tell the story about meeting James Taylor. Oh, yeah.

James is in the book, too. I loved James Taylor. He's kind of a country folk singer guy. Yeah, I do know who he is. Oh, you do? I don't know if I know what he, yeah. Welcome to our planet, man. How's he doing?

How's it going for him? It's going really well. I'll tell him you were asking about him. So James Taylor is a guy that I grew up with, and I play the guitar, and I loved his style, his finger picking. And I used to try to learn his songs. They called them a record back then, an LP, and they would go on a turntable.

And you'd have to put the needle down on the right groove. You really don't know, do you? No, I didn't. You were a record player? Yeah, no, I had Elvira record and one Michael Jackson record. Oh, nice. Yeah. Nice.

Good start. Are you saying the Oak Ridge Boys or Mistress of the Dark? I had Oak Ridge Boys. Yeah. But it was just Elvira. Yeah. Right. It was just that one song.

Yeah. So you don't just that one song. Yeah. So you don't go around the house humming something annoying to your wife ever? No. No. I can listen to a song. I don't even know what it's about. Nate says on his podcast a lot that he never listens to words in music. Right.

So he has no idea what any songs are about. I'm sort of like that too. I'm like a dog that they just put like a plant. You just play it so it grows better so James Taylor um is um James Taylor uh is a guy that I was a huge fan of and I was so intimidated by him and I you know I went to tons of his concerts and and I I never knew him and almost didn't want to know him because you know it's like Sarah Silverman says you, be careful when you meet your idol. Yeah.

But anyway, so when he was on SNL, I got to meet him. And we kind of became buddies. We're standing by the craft service table. And I was mentioning the donuts to him. I said, you should try the glazed donuts. They're really good. And I'm thinking of it or Sean. So we talked for a while, and I was asking him, no, James, when you make that cord in copper line, do you use your pinky to reach down there?

He said, yeah, I do. I said, oh, I was afraid of that, because that's a hard cord. But anyway, at the end of the craft service thing, we're finished eating our donuts. He goes, yeah, I'd really like to get together with you sometime. I say that a lot, but I really mean it. So we exchanged numbers. And about a week later, I call him. And we arrange for a dinner. So I go to his apartment in New York.

I go up. It's got the elevator that opens up into your apartment, one of those nice places. And so we go out to this Cuban restaurant because he likes the Cuban restaurant. I hate Cuban food. It makes me sweat. You know, it's really, I don't like it at all. But I said, yeah, that's a good choice.

Let's go there. You know, and we, I don't remember what we talked about, but on the way home, it was like a date. I'm thinking, God, no, what do I do? Do I hug him? Do I kiss him? Do I walk him up to the apartment? You know, do I ask for another date?

But I think we just hugged. And then he had me film a... They were getting ready to do a tour or album, so I went up to Martha's Vineyard and I videotaped them rehearsing and interviewed his mother and his brothers.

And then I did host some show for him. But I haven't seen him in eight years now yeah here's the problem i introduced my friend to him who was a bigger fan than i was and he glommed on to him and he stays at his house now when he's in la and i don't even i haven't even talked to him in a long time so yeah be careful who you introduce your idol to he took him away from me he took him away he says he's like his surrogate father now. Yeah. I'm like, jeez. I was just a fan.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, that is, you got to, when you introduce your buddies to someone, and then sometimes you got to be like, hey, be normal. Yeah. Because they're going to act crazy, or they're like, I know, but I'm a big fan. You're like, I know, but you can't. Like, let's just hang out.

Yeah. Yeah. And don't be insane. I know. Don you can't, like, let's just hang out. Yeah, yeah. And don't be insane. I know, don't go crazy. And now he's at the point where I say, hey, Dave, is James going to be playing at the Amphitheater this year? No, we decided that, all of a sudden, it's we. What do you mean, we?

Can I get tickets? We got a big guest list. We got, yeah. Like, it's. Yeah, we've decided that James is not going to tour this year because of COVID. And when did all of you guys decide that? Yeah. Well, we're just reading the data.

Yeah. And. But it's like those people that are big fans of baseball teams. Well, we won last year. Yeah. But I don't think we're going to get into that. What position do you play? Yeah. Yeah. I say we. I'm a we to get into that. What position do you play? Yeah.

Yeah, I say we. I'm a we person. Are you? Oh, yeah. I do. I'm like, you're just talking. But yeah, people do say it. They have no responsibility.

As I've gotten older, I think, because the players get younger. Yeah, they do. And then you just are like so much. I'm 43, so then you're just like, oh, man, I'm older than these. These are kids. But what about college? You played at Sacred Heart, right? I played at Fairfield University football.

But I did play at Sacred Heart soccer. OK, so you could say we for them, right? Yeah, we did play there. Yeah, we played. Not you, though. Well, I know. But if you give money to that school, or in your case, you actually played there, you could still say we now, correct?

I could, I guess. But I played football at Fairfield University because I never played football in high school or college. And I always wanted to play football because we played Sandlot football games over in Bridgeport, Connecticut. And we had the helmets and the pads, and we played this gang from across town at the football field on Sundays when nobody was playing, no refs. So it was like brutal. And I had a good arm. And so my buddy, Bill, says, hey, we can go out for Fairfield University's football team if we take three credits at night, that'll make us eligible. So we both took a course in criminology. We went like three times and we played the whole season. The quarterback got hurt, so I got to play the whole year. He won All-American.

I got MVP. And it was crazy, man. And I was kicker, too, because they didn't have a really good team. I was kicker and punter. And then we come back the next year to play again. And we're out of college now. We're like 35. Your second year in SNL.

We're like 21 or something. No, we're like your second year in snl like 21 or something no no we're like 19 or whatever i don't know what we were but it was right after college and uh there's probably probably like two hours later no maybe we're 17 you know i think i was so um so anyway um we go back to play another year the next year and the coach goes guys i'm sorry man you're gonna have 12 credits and we realized that one of the players probably ratted us out because he wasn't getting to play yeah and uh so then i moved to la thinking i could try out for kicker on the la express they had usfl football team then and uh and i had good hang time you know with the football and i could hit field goals too and uh but i figured it'd be a good like uh hook for my stand-up comedy because i was trying out for both yeah not only is a comedian but he's the kicker for the delay express give it up don't you hate one of these these sound guys i don't know if you get it anymore but these guys that run the audio like what song you want

to come up to yeah okay great and then you're about to come on. You and I both have kind of a laid back act. Give it up for Naipakaze! It's crazy. The energy is, you have to fix it almost when you go out, when they do it like that. Because they'd always say, like, people would bring it, if you don't give him good energy, he's the energy. He's not going to be good.

Like, they're doing this, and you're like, my energy's not going to be good. They're doing this, and you're like, my energy is not going to be good. So it doesn't matter what your energy is. Mine is this. Yeah, this is it, man. I'm excited right now. Yeah, yeah. I would say something like that usually.

I go up, you just say something like that. Yeah. My other one, I found a good line when you follow someone famous. I'd just go up and be like, well, the show's obviously peaked, so let's just get through it. And it was enough to just reset the tone very quickly, and then you could just get into your act. Yeah, yeah.

You find when you're low energy, you've got to find little things. You're following different acts, especially doing spots. Well, here's what I did, Nate. I completely shut all that out. They say, well, how do you want to be introduced? I don't. I'm just going to walk out. They say, well, how do you want to be introduced? I don't. I don't. I'm just going to walk out.

No music. No introduction. No MC. I'm just coming out because that's jazzy. Yeah, it is jazzy. Yeah, until I realize that people don't recognize me anymore. But you talk about openers and all that. When I was on SNL doing Weekend Update, Adam Sandler would come on a lot and do his little

feature things, red hooded sweatshirt and whatnot. And we booked a gig together before he was popular from a year down the road to a year down the road at some college, Syracuse. And by the time that year rolled around, that gig rolled around, Sandler was really popular and huge now. And he's opening for me. He opens, he kills his college

because they love him, you know. And then he leaves the stage and then I got to come out. I think it was the first time I ever bombed. You know, I mean,

people are leaving. You know, they saw who they wanted to see. And now I'm opening for him in a week or two. Out coming up. Yeah. Does that one, did you think about switching?

I didn't even know. I didn't know how popular he was. Yeah, yeah. Because we're in a bubble. That's what's interesting. Because you don't realize it, and then you get there and you're like, oh, they know you way more than I thought they did. Yeah, yeah. And then that dynamic is, well, it's fun. get there and you're like oh oh they like know you way more than i thought they did yeah yeah

and then you know that is that's uh that dynamic is well it's fun i mean it's it's neat to see too because you're you're kind of seeing it in real time uh and it's yeah i'm trying to think if i've had uh any i remember opening for people that i wouldn't think they were big. And then you see their fans. You're like, oh, you're huge. And you think, like, I'm going to go out. I'm going to murder. And I'm going to, like, all this stuff. And then you do great.

And then once you leave, you could go sit in the front row. They wouldn't remember you. Like, they don't care. And you're like, oh, I thought. Let me ask you something. Because you're working in the big venues now. I'm going to do this thing with Sandler I know he's going to have

a big crowd do you play I did open for Brad Paisley in St. Louis about a year ago and it was 10,000 people yeah

so I was a little nervous about that but it almost like it's the same as a club it's the same you know the interesting thing with the big places and I mean

the most I've done is like 6,000 but it's you your they usually have the video screens which i think is a good benefit for us sure and uh because then people can kind of see your face even more because even in like a 2000 seat place it's hard for someone in the back to really see your face but it's it's about the energy in the room i think that's why you and people like it is you want to you're're all a part of this, and you're all laughing together, and you're like, that's the experience. And when they can see the screens,

they can see your face, but you just do you. Don't try to reach out more than you do. No, I bombed once doing that. I followed Rory Scovel. You guys remind me, not your material, but I called you once because Rory asked me to do his podcast. Do you remember that? Yeah. I said, Nate, when is the podcast? I'm confused. You were like, I don't know.

Did you talk to my people about it? Or I said, I don't think. I thought you called me. It was really Rory the whole time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yes, that was. You were going to Rory's. I think it was that day. And you're like, hey. It was that morning, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, that was. You were going to Rory's.

I think it was that day. And you're like, hey. It was that morning, I think. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, where are you at? And I would never tell you to call my people. But it was like someone like, did you book this through someone else? Yeah, it was something like that.

And I'm like, I don't know. I was like, I'll do it. Where are you right now, dude? I was like, let's just. And then when I hung up, I thought, Nate doesn't really know what's going on. Yeah. Yeah, I was the one that didn't know what was going on. I think you were, dude. I was like, let's just. And then when I hung up, I thought, Nate doesn't really know what's going on. Yeah. Yeah, that was the one that didn't know what was going on. I think you were in LA.

I was. Yeah. Rory was just here this weekend. Was he really? He's great. He's great. But I've once followed him, and his energy is very improv-y and very light. And I tried to match that because I thought that's what the room wanted,

and I bombed. And it's because you were. And Jay Larson, who's after cc's like just do you like it was like a moment of like oh yeah you got to just you got to bring them to you and you can bomb that way because then it's like it is what it is you did it your way but it feels very awkward to bomb when you're not being you're like out of your oh yeah your character kind of thing you don't start doing impressions when you've never done an impression before. Oh, yeah.

You're like, let me give it a go. I better do impressions for this crowd. They'll like that. It's always interesting to see comics that you – like, do you ever think about, like, when you're in a – like, this weekend was – it wasn't bad. It was an awesome event, and it was very cool to be there. But it's like when everybody's talking, and everybody's great,

and then you're thinking, like, who would do good do good here like who would howie mandel did the auction i was just gonna say howie mandel how is someone that i think can do yeah work the crowd any yeah yeah but you would see comics be able to do that where you're like no matter what the situation you're like i think that comic could handle i mean anything that's thrown at them they just are good at it. I used to watch Robin Williams. He was one of the first comics I ever saw. And I almost turned around and went home because I thought, oh, my God.

This is crazy. But then I realized he can't be everywhere at once. There's other gigs. Yeah, but he would do good in a place like that. He'd walk through the crowd and start picking people apart. I remember, where did you start at? LA. Yeah.

And then was he already like on, like was he? It was right before Mork. Oh, really? And then I got a job bartending at the Improv. And he would come in from taping Mork. This was back in the 1900s. And he would come in from taping Mork. He still had the suspenders on and that shirt.

And he'd come into the Improv. He'd go through theenders on and that shirt. And he'd come into the improv. He'd go through the kitchen and go on stage. And that room was always packed. It was a lot of like expats from New York. And he would go on and he would kill. And I watched from the top. There was a little peephole in Bud's office. And I looked down.

And I've seen everybody at Robin Williams, Andy Kaufman, Jay Leno at the time, Albert Brooks. It was just crazy. They would all do spots. Yeah, they'd come in through a spot. To see them in that air, like those guys, because that's like Leno would, you'd always hear the stories about he would just murder. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it was just no one was like, no one could do as good as him, and he was just his own comic. I'm a giant leno like leno stayed like he he stayed true with stand-up comedy he still does it he's like a night he's a very sweet guy yeah uh he called me after my special he's like oh me and my wife watched it and like and that's nice very nice and he talked about doing corporate gigs as clean guys. He's like, is it like me, you, Kevin Nealon, Seinfeld, Regan? He goes, that's it.

We're Dana Carvey. Because when we do these corporate events now, it's just – you hear like last year we had – and there's six of us that they're having. And he's just like a wonderful guy. And then just – I mean, just a monster of a comedian. I got to tell you, we worked at a golf tournament. Or he did.

I had done it a couple years before. But I was in the golf tournament up in Lake Tahoe. And they asked me if I wanted to be on the show, on the Tonight Show. I said, well, I got to go up to Lake Tahoe tonight because I'm playing in this tournament. I'm not a good golfer, by the way. And he goes, hey, see you at my show. And I'll take you up there. I'm flying up there tonight. I'm not a good golfer, by the way. And he goes, hey, see my show, and I'll take you up there. I'm flying up there tonight. I'll go on my jet.

And I said, OK. And I don't know what kind of jet it is. It turned out to be a Lear jet. And he's got his garment thing. He's bringing it on there. So we get on the jet. And as we get up to like 10,000 or whatever it was, the pilot goes, you know, they've got some fires happening up in Tahoe. So we went up to Atlanta, Reno. Yeah, we're up to like 10,000 or whatever it was, the pilot goes, you know, they got some fires happening up in Tahoe.

So we're going to have to land in Reno. Yeah, we're thinking we'll go into Tahoe. We'll see how it is. And I'm like, no, no, no. We got to go. I said to myself, we got to go to Reno, man. I don't care. I'll drive up there for an hour and a half.

And so we're flying. And he's in the back. And he's got his index cards on his chest for his next show. And he looks like he's sleeping. And I smell smoke in the cabin of the plane. It's a little air jet. And I could tell it was smoke from fires. It wasn't the engine.

And I go up halfway up, and it's a small jet. I said, hey, guys, you know, if you think it's too dangerous to go into Tahoe, we'd go into Reno. And Jay in the back going, no, no, no, we're going into Tahoe. That's my jet. We're going into Tahoe. So we went in through the smoke, man. We landed in Tahoe, we'd go into Reno. And Jay in the back going, no, no, no, we're going into Tahoe. That's my jet. We're going into Tahoe. So we went in through the smoke, man. We landed in Tahoe. It's crazy. It's crazy.

It is. I'm doing Lake Tahoe this year, that golf tournament. Oh, you are? Yeah, that and the Pebble. Oh, you must be a good golfer. I mean, I'm fine. But do you like those? Have you hit anybody?

No, but I was golfing with Larry the Cable Guy. Yeah, yeah. Dan, and he hit somebody hard, man. He was just starting off. It was just like second year. And he loved it. He'd come up with those camo shirts. He's supposed to have the regular shirts.

But they let him play that way. And we were on the 18th tee box. And he gets up there. And these people think you're a professional. They're all lining up like you're Tiger Woods or something along the side. And I'm telling people, you've got to back up. I am not a pro. I usually hit it over there.

So back it up. I'm not going to hit until you back up so they go maybe this far yeah okay okay so larry the cable guy gets up there dan whitney and he tees it up and he hits it hard and he shanks it and it goes right into the crowd and hit a guy that was maybe 30 yards away from him. Luckily, the guy was on his phone. It hit the phone. It smashed the phone.

The guy went down. And Larry is just looking at it like, what happened? And the guy is down on the ground. Everybody's around him. And he was out for maybe two minutes. And then the phone was smashed. But yet I heard somebody still on the phone. Hello?

Are you still there? Are you there? And they gave this guy access to the VIP room that night to meet everybody. Oh, that's cool. And the guy came back, and he was just a real jerk. Oh, really? He was an idiot. Yeah, they almost had to kick him out.

Oh, wow. I said, Larry, you should have hit him a little harder. Yeah. But you'll love it, man. It took me like three years to kind of lose, to get my nerves, because the cameras are there. You're on camera all the time. And I really am a back.

They put me with Barkley every year. Yeah. And I usually beat him. He's usually at the bottom. Yeah. But it's fun. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, I'm excited.

I did it for like 15 years. Yeah. Yeah, I've been talking. Ray Romano does it every year. And just like learning about like what to expect or what to do. I mean, it's going to be, it's a dream. As a guy that loves golf, I mean, it is obviously what you want. That and the Pebble Beach.

The Pebble Beach one, the AT&T. I did a commercial with Arnold Palmer. It was for Bloodthinner. Things are going well. Yeah, I know&T. I did a commercial with Arnold Palmer. It was for Bloodthinner. Things are going well. Yeah, yeah. I know that commercial. You do too. Yeah.

So we're sitting, we're in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, in the course where he grew up. He learned how to golf. His father was a greenskeeper. And I'm sitting in the golf cart with him. It's in between setups. And we really hit it off, by the way. We became buddies.

We were really connected. And I would sit at his table in the clubhouse, his own table. And I was sitting there when he ordered an Arnold Palmer drink. And I couldn't believe it. I said, Arnold Palmer ordering an Arnold Palmer drink? And then the waitress asked me, the service said, what would you like? I said, I'll have a Kevin Nealon. And Arnold looked at me. He goes, what's a Kevin Nealon? I said, well, it's exactly like an Arnold Palmer, but a little taller and better looking. But getting back to the AT&T thing, I said, man,

I always wanted to golf in the AT&T Pebble Beach thing. He goes, you never golfed in that? I said, no, no. It's hard to get in. I mean, guys like Ray Romano and a couple other guys play it, but they do benefits for them. Yeah. And he goes, okay, I'll make a phone call.

I said, really? He goes, yeah, no problem. So wouldn't you like two weeks later, I get this beautiful package in the mail. I open it up. It's a laminated box. And it's got the Pebble Beach on the top. I'm like, oh my God, it's happening. It's happening.

I open it up. It's got the invitation. I'm like, that Arnold Palmer, man's happening. It's happening. I open it up. It's got the invitation. I'm like, that Arnold Palmer, man, he comes through, man. He comes through. I'm taking the stuff out. I take the actual invitation out. I start reading it. I said, I love this book. Mr. Palmer is so nice, man. And then I open it up. It says every entry, every person's got to pay $26,000. And I said, that's Arnold Palmer. And I called his assistant. I said, I don't know, maybe there's a mistake or something. There's like $26,000 to play.

And no mistake. $26,000. $26,000. Yeah. I guess that's what they charge corporations. Yeah. Wow. I was like, maybe I need to go read my invitations downstairs.

I go, maybe look into it. I said, I'm not a corporation yeah yeah i'm incorporated but i'm not a corporation so i might not be playing the 18th you know that's probably uh i think we do shows like you did a show for the volunteers and i never got there oh but that's what they that's what i thought i was gonna do yeah but i wasn't gonna do that i mean that's so he's like i can pull strings you're like you pulled those strings yeah you you did nothing except upset me yeah you led me on and then you upset me just to read it uh you know you talk about uh uh andy coffin in here you got painting him like uh and did you you've met andy yeah like when he was i'm like pretty fascinated with andy kaufman like it's like you know it's like originality like that's there's no one we say a

lot of the line that it's over the moon he says goes down to memphis with the wrestling and he's he goes uh you know uh you're from memphis tennessee i'm from hollywood and that's how we would talk to him yeah and we say it all the time like it's yeah it's one of my favorite lines like but that was like a that guy is like on his own like it's just his own he is just he he calls himself a song and dance man but he he was so unique and original and i would watch him at the improv and he'd get up there and he'd read from the great gatsby and he really you know and he would go on and on and on and people think he was kidding and then they started laughing and then some people got angry because he's going on too long

he was there for like an hour reading the great gatsby and people would come back again they started laughing but he was like that he was so unique and he was so interested in i think the psychology of an audience he would fool you he would do as latke he'd do these impressions that were really bad you know and then he goes and now for my elvis presley did you ever see this one yeah yeah and they turn around and rip off his thing he had the jumpsuit on they come around do a great impression but i love that because he was so entertaining he wasn't just a comic with who are good but but he was different. He was different in all the things.

I saw him on stage when he was doing his laundry. He brought a washing machine up to the dryer. And then he'd be eating watermelon next to it. Every once in a while, look over. And just not be talking or anything. No, not that. Is it? And that's like a night that's like, he's the headliner.

Like he's up there as long as he wants. I guess so. Yeah, I don't remember. My dad went and saw him here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He saw Andy Kaufman and Steve Martin.

I think Andy Kaufman took everybody out for milk and cookies after. Yeah, yeah. He did that. And then would do stuff like that. I heard Steve Martin did that too. Yeah. Took him in a pool and filled the pool up with people. And then he would swim across them. Yeah, yeah. He did that. And then would do stuff like that. I heard Steve Martin did that too. Yeah. Took him in a pool and filled the pool up with people,

and then he would swim across them. Oh, wow. I think he did it here at the Exit Inn. It's in his book, Born Standing Up. Yeah, that's a great book. I think he, I want to say it was McDonald's or something. After the show, he walked everyone down from Exit Inn to McDonald's and just had everyone order. And that's so unlike him, too.

I've gotten to know him over the years. And it's crazy, because I saw him in concert with the Blues Brothers open for him at the Universal Amphitheater. I mean, huge crowd. Yeah. And he comes out with a white suit, the wild, crazy guy with the arrow through his head. And he is so different from that. He is so reserved and quiet and kind of shy.

And I don't know if that was him back then but now he's you know and i've gotten to know him where we played the banjo together a lot and i played poker at his house uh and you know i've even been in the caribbean where we were body surfing you know with a bunch of other people's snl people and it was fun i thought i can't believe it i'm body surfing with ste Martin for a couple of days. And then we all fly back to New York. And JFK, I'm standing on the sidewalk waiting for my cab. And he's waiting for his limo. And he comes over.

He goes, you know, just because we hung out for a few days doesn't mean we're going to be friends. That guy is so funny. I didn't hear from him like three years. I've never met him uh yeah giant fan i mean i'll make i'll make a phone call yeah please twenty six thousand dollars golly kevin uh but when he did uh like i'm sure it was like a character like being able to separate himself like when he was on stage and be able to do that and like be that kind of character to like now he is like, he's playing the banjo and he's doing,

you know, he almost like when he quit, I would think like him, like Eddie Murphy, they almost got bigger than standup can be. They did standup probably less than you did and less than I did, of course. And then they got out. I think, but they got so big you know like if you're doing yeah like it was like steve martin or it seemed like you'd go out and they're just yelling yeah yeah everything that was a problem it's a stadium and it's like you can't even come up with new jokes i know and it's it's almost like you can tell i think now like i

remember seeing burr when Bill Burr. Adam Burr? Huh? Adam Burr. Comic didn't make it, but he was solid. But Bill Burr when he- Aaron Burr, I think. Aaron, yeah.

Bill Burr was when he did the Philly rant. I love that, yeah. It was great. He trashed his Philly- That kind of put him on the map, didn't it? It was. So I was in New York when that happened. I saw him a couple days after.

He's like 10 years ahead of me. I was a younger comic, and it was crazy. And YouTube was just starting to be like stuff would kind of go viral for the first time. So that went crazy. And then I remember seeing him after that. Because the year before, I'd go watch him at Caroline's. There'd be 30 people there.

You could go sit anywhere you wanted. And then that next year is like carolines would be like you can't even come in they wouldn't even let us come watch because it was so crowded but one night we did get our way in and we watched him and people would just start yelling out uh you know like i'm from atlanta and he they want him to just go trash all their towns but i mean i've always remembered he put just such a stop to that he's like like, yeah, I'm not doing, like, that's not, I'm not doing that. And so he had to like deal with that. And then he just get into his act.

And then he would never do old jokes. He would just get into like his new jokes. And it just almost like set the tone for being like, he's like, I will, I'm going to just keep going. Yeah. I mean, there's some people like that, some comics that just, it's just their train of thought. That's the way they are.

They're in that groove where that's everything they say is comedic or their style, like Sebastian or Bill Burr. I mean, I started, I've never named a tour I was on, but last July, two Julys ago, I said, I'm going to go on a road. I'm going to call it a road. I'm going to call it a tour. I'm going to call it the Sugar Train Tour, because I talk about sugar for like half a minute. And some do the Sugar Train Tour, and Nikki Glaser's doing some tour. And she must have done three tours, but when I'm still doing my Sugar Train Tour.

And some people are just prolific and they come up with stuff and, you know, they can have like 10 specials in three years. Yeah. Well, it's like, you know, one question I was, I liked was Norm. I heard Norm asked Spade on like Norm's, when he had the, one of his shows that maybe he's on Comedy Central or maybe it was his podcast that he had with the video shows that maybe is on Comic Central or maybe it was his podcast that he had with the video on. And he asked Spade, he goes, if you had been coming up now,

would you go do the route that you guys had to take? You guys had to do TV shows, SNL, all this stuff, versus the route that we can kind of take. We can just go be stand-up comics more than I think you, you, uh, like your generation could have done. You had to do so many other stuff. And I always like thought that I was like, you know what? That is a,

like, we're fortunate to like, I'm fortunate to be like you had, you know, Louie and burn, uh, all these in, you know,

Chris rock. Well, he's your generous, but even Chris had to go do a lot of stuff before he became his own. It's so different now. It is so, I think comedy is much more accessible now. When I started off doing it,

it was such a novelty thing. Most people had never been to a comedy club before. And then it started airing on TV. They have the brick wall and everybody knew it's then more people are coming out to the shows. And, but it was different. And if you played at medicine square garden or an arena

you were steve martin yeah and now it seems like more and more comics are filling these arenas sebastian did four yeah and also gabriel iglesias does you know stadium bird did where uh fenway fenway yeah i mean it's just it's not like whoa and i think the first maybe comic that was doing that in our generation was um um oh i'm blanking on his name now he had myspace he had a lot of followers on my thank cook yeah he seemed to be the first kind of the wave of this generation that did madison square. He got so big. I mean, his first, his Common Central half hour is great, and his special he did was great.

It was great. People, he got so big that people turned on him. Like he was a guy that. People hated him. Yeah, and it was almost like you got too big, and then like it's fun to like. I remember like Family guy made a joke about liking dan cook and and then everybody just like i guess that's what we're doing right i was like

he got like a bad rap with that like where it's like you're like he's done he just got everybody loved him he's huge and then you get too big they're like well now we you're cool to hate yeah yeah i hear a lot about you though i hear people hate on you man because he's too bad yeah dane cook did it with uh roland stone roland stone like had him on the cover and then they like within a few months like write an article like trashing you're like you're just going with the vibe of like this dude's too famous well there's too many people now that are dane cook level even higher than that that they can't trash them because it's just becoming more of a a way of comedy it's what people do it's like working the main room as being in an arena now yeah yeah oh yeah it's uh well you build

your audience you have that audience like when uh fluffy goes out uh gabriel it's wow i mean he's got an audience he's walking around with an audience you don't want to say his last name gabriel iglesias i almost said inglesias yeah he would turn around he would turn around gabriel iglesias you can't say that without sounding drunk y'all know him uh iglesias iglesias uh nikki iglesias and they like, who's he talking about? But yeah, they have this giant audience. So you walk around this audience and then you're, you can kind of go do whatever you want.

And then you can go, I remember someone, I thought someone did an interview. I mean, he's acted on some stuff, but, you know, being like, all right, do you want to go do a TV show? And he's like, I don't, you know. I think he had a TV show that maybe didn't. But it's almost becomes where it's like, is it worth it? Why? Why?

Like your TV show is to get you into arenas. Well, if you're getting into arenas without it, then. How much of filling the rooms for you is from the podcast? Not much, right? No, no. I mean, we have a lot of people. So people do listen to it. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I was just trying to figure that out. It goes, you know, I go, I'm there. My buddies that show up are there for the podcast. No one listens to this podcast, Kevin. You might lose book sales. It'll be interesting to see if my book sales go up one or two after this. Yeah, if it's a pop-up.

It might be. It is called i exaggerate my brushes with fame yeah you mentioned that already i did show it yeah we're gonna post i'm not a good interview i mean it's a good you know prince so prince yeah prince can you tell the story about your second time on letterman oh on letterman oh. When it didn't go the way you wanted it to go? No, no. I mean, so I do Letterman the first time, and I kill it. I'm happy. And then I get booked again for the second one. And I used to close my act with an easel and a big sketch pad,

and I would get somebody from the audience and sketch their picture with charcoal. And I would keep adjusting their face, and I would be getting charcoal on their face, and they wouldn't know it. So by the end of the sketch, and I would be getting charcoal on their face, and they wouldn't know it. So by the end of the sketch, and the audience could see it, and by the end of the sketch, the face is covered with black charcoal.

And it was my closer, my act, and it was killed, killed. And so I said, I'm going to do this thing, this easel thing that I close on. Okay, fine. And so that morning, I went to all the clubs the night before, did it. That morning, I got a call from a segment producer. He goes, no, you're doing some easel thing? No, we want you to do stand-up. First of all, I don't have any stand-up left.

I used all my good stuff on the last one. So I have mediocre stuff. And I don't have anywhere to practice because it's 10 o'clock in the morning and we're doing the show like at 5 or whatever. And I say, you sure? Because I do this easel thing and it's really, it's really, no, no, no. We want you for stand-up. Or, you know, I mean, you can come back another time.

No, no, no. I'm in New York. I told everybody. I spent my money already. And so I put together all my material that I have left. And like I said, there's nowhere to do it. So the maid comes, the housekeeper comes into the hotel room with a vacuum. I said, would you mind, like, if you just listen to my material?

I'm going to get up on the bed, like it's a stage. So I get up on the bed. I'm standing on the bed. And I'm doing my material for her. I don't think she understood English. And she's kind of a weak smile. And I finished my act. And I got off. And standing ovation my material for her. I don't think she understood English. And she's kind of a weak smile. And I finished my act, and I got off. And standing ovation, by the way.

And so I did Letterman that night. And it was very mediocre, as I expected it would be. So I was kind of angry at the signal producer. He should have been on top of that more. In your book, you mentioned he now sells real estate in california he does and you know i saw him about a month ago and he said hey man i'm looking forward to reading your book i'm like oh no i didn't realize the people i wrote about would be reading this yeah because i did a book like 15 years ago nobody read it well he was probably still doing stuff and now he's selling real estate so he's like he's he'll find out he's mentioned in the but you could make it fun it's uh

if you had a after he reads it i said no i i actually it was i was happy for you to put that in there because you're doing well now you know and uh you know what do you mean i'm doing well just when i put it in there you're're doing well. You're selling real estate. I didn't say you weren't selling real estate. You're selling real estate. You make some money. But I did do some caricatures of people in here, one specifically that hated it.

Him and his wife hated it. His agent hated it. And they said, under no condition are you going to use this to promote your book. And I don't know if they meant in the book, too, but it was already printed. I'm not going to rip the page out of your book. And I don't know if they meant in the book too, but it was already printed. I'm not going to rip the page out of every book. And so I didn't use his picture,

but it's one of my favorite ones in the book. I can't tell you who it is. You can't tell who it is. It's in the book. I'll show you the picture, but don't tell anybody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Who do you think it is? You don't know all the pictures in there. That reminds me of- This is the first time I've seen this book. You haven't had that all your life yeah i bought it earlier no this is a this book brad paisley yeah it's paisley he seems like he would be he didn't mind he didn't mind the picture yeah yeah can i ask you legally can you can you draw pictures of anybody without their consent or like can somebody object to a particular.

Man, I went through all of this. Yeah. Like after we, like near the end of the book, all of a sudden, the lawyer, the publisher's lawyer is saying that. Yeah. What? No, no, no, no. Oh.

Where's the camera? Yeah. That's what I would have thought. But you can't tell anybody. I'll show you who it is, but don't tell anybody. All right. It's really my favorite picture in the book. But yeah, the lawyers, I mean, it's crazy.

You've got to get, well, just out of respect, we got permission to use people in the promotion. And of course, we didn't get it from, they're speaking of the devil. That's what I meant. He loved it. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

But so yeah, we opened up a can of worms. I said, you guys can open up a lot of men yeah he loved his oh yeah but uh so yeah we opened up a can of worms i said you guys can open up a can of worms you start asking people and you know they're gonna not want it and um so so we started asking people and that was a mistake like i was just saying you could have just not asked people and just did it yeah yeah but once it's a book, it's like, I have a lot of friends that are character artists and they get published on Cover Time and all that. And they say, this is ridiculous. What are they, this is like, this is the First Amendment. This is satire.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. Oh, wow. This is my favorite one of the book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. It's my favorite one.

And then I looked online, it's got a thousand caricatures of this person. Yeah. Why me? Yeah. Yeah, why would it be? I know. I mean, you know, it's kind of fabric. Do you ever think it's them or it's their people?

Like, you know, sometimes when you get, like, pushed back on something, it's like you think, like, does your person even know? I know, right? Does the actual person know? Right. Because you would just think, like, I don't think they're like that. I was thinking with the riders. I mean, you see riders or if riders were crazy or people would say they're very demanding and all this.

You're like, are they or is their crew demanding? Exactly. That they bring out. We were just in Grand Rapids and we were working and we went and worked out in like the gym and the strength coach, I guess, for the hockey team there because it was like a hockey arena. And we walked in and he was like, don't knock everything. Like yelling at us like a real hockey coach. I mean, we're in his world. And he goes, if I ever saw Post Malone, he goes, I'm going to knock that guy out.

He tore this whole weight room up. And you're like, okay. And I'm like, I mean, it's Post Malone. You're like, I'm just a comedian. So this is after Malone. This is after Malone. Yeah, it's Post Malone. You're like, I'm just a comedian. So this is after Malone. This is after Malone. Yeah. This is post.

This is post post. Yeah. And so it's like that was his guy that he used to be like they tore it up. And then you want to be like, I bet it wasn't. I don't know Post Malone at all. You just know him from interviews. He seems like I bet he would be a very nice guy. Yeah.

And you're like, I bet his crew was not. Right. And then like that, I bet his crew was not. Right. And then that's where it comes from. But I mean, that's also on Post Malone. It's his fault. Yeah. Well, the thing with getting permission from the pictures, it's not so much getting it from that person.

It's getting it from the photographers whose reference picture I used. Oh, interesting. But couldn't you just say it's anybody's? Like if you took a picture. Well, yeah well yeah yeah i see what you're saying like of you and you know david letterman and you're like why use that and it's just my personal picture yeah or yeah or you can get it off a video or tv then you it's you're fine but if you use somebody's photograph i always say how do you know i'm using your photograph there's a thousand pictures of this guy with every angle and every direction. You know, how would you, I mean, it is yours, but how would you know that?

Yeah, that is crazy. So it's not mine. No, no, no. Yours was the best one. I saw it. Obviously, you're onto something. But what if it wasn't? Yeah, right.

And, you know, yeah yeah some of them are just really uh but you go to getty getty images and they'll you got to buy them for like four or five hundred dollars each getty was something that was one i learned uh like if someone says they're with getty like pay attention to the picture you're about to take with him because i i once did a spot at uh what's the club in uh gentleman's club or yeah yeah all right you're on the right track but worse worse than that uh uh ice house yeah and so the guy i get done nice i'm just doing a spot there like this is uh you know 2012 probably 13 and uh i go and the guys say hey i work with getty getty i want to take a picture well i don't even know what that means so i just go in there and i'm wearing like

whatever it's a tuesday and i'm like and that picture was used so much i think i use that for a caricature yeah it would be one yeah i look so ridiculous it looks like a picture that if you would take if you worked in a building that you would be like, this is my office ID. Yeah. And it's just like, and you're like, oh, that's just the one that comes up because Getty comes up. So if someone ever says they're with Getty,

just buckle down because this picture will be used. Yeah, it's weird because they could charge $500 for a picture. They put up, but you don't can you charge them say that's gonna cost you i had a weird thing with that once uh with a guy he asked he wanted to take pictures and uh i did some pictures with him and they were good and then uh i was like hey i'm gonna use it for the tour posters just my personal like you know we're gonna pay him and then he was like he started wanting to charge something crazy and like come back and you're like what do you i go i don't i just was trying to like promote this tour like i'm using and i was like and i'm i'm trying to pay you yeah yeah

but like it's like what's you know because it's i don't know yeah photography is a weird thing where it's like they use you it's you like this picture is of you yeah and then this person can be well you can't use it you're like but i'm the main yeah that's me that's me like i get you are taking the like i but is there not a 50 50 kind of thing going on there should be i use uh i went on ellen about seven months ago and she was showing some paintings I did. And she put up this one painting I did from a reference picture. And this photographer calls my manager. He says, hey, I could tell that's my photograph.

And he's got it on his Instagram, and I'd like credit for that. And also, he showed it on Ellen. I didn't show it on Ellen. She just picked the one she wanted. And it's on Ellen to help him promote his book. And if it's going to be in his book, then let's talk. Let's talk about some kind of reimbursement. So I changed the picture entirely so it doesn't look like his photograph.

You just go, this book's costing you like $17,000 a week to use. I'm waiting for the lawsuits to come in. You've even got sketches of people on planes on there. Yeah, I do sketch people on airplanes because I'm so bored and I've seen every movie. So I'll take out a napkin or a barf bag, preferably empty, and I'll start sketching on there. People sleep and their mouth open.

And there's some of those in the front of the book. And then I never show it to them or tell them, but I will write the seat number and the flight number and where we're going. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. I hope they sue you too.

The dog sued me. That little dog sued me. That guy not wearing his mask correctly on the flight. Yeah. That hope they sue you too. Yeah. That dog sued me. That little dog sued me. That guy not wearing his mask correctly on the flight. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. He gets canceled. Yeah.

And then I got like Conan in the beginning when we were writing a script together. A lot of these guys I sketched during the table read at SNL. Yeah. I like that you got your seat numbers, which is good. Because it'd be great if you... It would have been funny if you're not in first class and you're like 22- numbers, which is good. Because it'd be great if you, it would have been funny, like you're not in first class and you're like 22-4, 22-G. Somebody saw that.

And you're like, golly, Kevin, are you not doing good, dude? Somebody did see that. And they go, oh, I see you flying first class a lot. No, upgrades. They're upgrades. Yeah, they're upgrades. They're all upgrades. I saw Jon Hamm.

Cincinnati to Chicago, that's a hot flight. Yeah. I saw Jon Hamm on a plane once. And I don't know him, but I was going to say hi to him. Yeah. But then I thought, I don't want to go back and coach. You know, I don't belong back there. You have to open the curtain, shut it. It makes noise.

Everybody sees it. Yeah. Louie Anderson used to do a good bit about being in first class. And the people in the back, you back, watching them eat peanuts and stuff, they don't get the peanuts. Yeah, we're up here. These are mine. He does it much better.

Or he did do it better. He did do it better. Yeah. He was unreal. He was great. He would murder, too. Oh, the timing he had was great. He didn't feel like he had to rush it or anything.

He would take his long pauses. And I really admired that about him. And the last time I worked with him, he likes to go out after the show and eat. And he wants you to come with him and eat. And he used to like to get recognized a lot. I've kind of gone through that phase. In fact, I did a radio show once. I would do a radio show in Austin like every year. He was like the Howard Stern of Austin. And we'd usually go out the next day or that night. And we went out, the last time we went out, this is like 10 years later, last time we went out for lunch, he said,

you know what I noticed about you? You're not getting recognized as much anymore. I said, you know what, you're right, actually. I didn't notice that because it was gradual. But it used to be you walk in someplace, heads turn. But now it's like maybe the busboy saw you somewhere. He mistook you for somebody else. I think my grandmother used to watch it.

They'd say something crazy. Do you work at my bank? You look familiar. You're so tall that I would think you already get people looking, just height-wise. They do, but they don't think that I'm this tall. Yeah. Oh, that's true.

I was on a train once coming from Rhode Island to New York. It's like a three-hour train ride. And I'm getting off the train, and this woman comes up to me. She goes, are you Kevin Nealon? I said, yeah. She goes, that's what I thought. I was watching you the whole train ride, and you just kept looking like you. I said, I know.

There's a reason for that. Yeah, that's interesting to like when you gradually uh like i've noticed it like when i go out it's it's it's you know it goes from like all right it happens like once a week and then you know if i'm in nashville it could be more to then it's kind of like you know it's never a bother i don't know i'm never bothered by it like because it's not like it's a huge thing but it's like then it's a you know you think it's like then it's a, you know, you think it's kind of daily. But, I mean, I would think with you, you're just being tall. It would just naturally be, well, wouldn't you?

Yeah. Tall people are very popular, whether they're in stand-up or not. Yeah. You're just stared at. Yeah. She's kind of tall. And, you know, I don't think people have a short person complex. I never look at them and go, oh, they're short. But I think

short people are more subconscious about being short than tall people are being tall. Although sometimes I'll see somebody really tall and I'll say to my wife, am I that tall? And I'll stand next to them just to see. And thankfully I'm not. Oh, yeah. Like if you're Shaq, I mean, it's just, you walk in a room, imagine being as tall as Shaq and not being Shaq. Now you just walk in a room. It's just. Yeah, I know. He takes up the whole room.

He should invest in the Shake Shack. Yeah. He could use his name. He could do commercials for him. Yeah. He's not afraid of a commercial. No, he's not. He's not.

Certainly not. He doesn't do mainstream commercials, which is kind of fun. I mean, it's not like Shake Shack. It's always just some liberty. It's all these random. Gold Bond. Yeah. You're like, what is that?

I noticed that some of these athletes only have one little line. They probably came in and got out. Yeah. And not a big investment for them. and they probably got a couple million. The Chiefs have one now with the coach, Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes. Yeah. And for State Farm. And I feel it's kind of weird.

Like, I think you're the coach. Yeah. And you're being funny. You're in his commercial. And then you're like, that dynamic, I would just think plays. It's a very funny commercial, but you're like, you also got to yell at these guys. Yeah, that's right. As a coach.

So now you're, it's almost like, you know. I think it's about Tom Brady. Tom Brady started doing too many commercials. Did he really? I did a commercial with Aaron Rodgers, me and Dana. We had Hans and Franz. Those characters we used to do on SNL. No, everybody knows.

Some people know. No, no, no. Older used to do on SNL. No, everybody knows. Some people know. No, no, no. Older people. But yeah, I worked with Aaron Rodgers, and that was kind of cool. He was very low-key. Yeah. I don't think he knew who we were either.

Well, he would know who you are. It would be like the kid that sells merch, Chase chase which everybody thinks he was everybody thought he was my son and he just sells merch so we have everybody i just told everybody i was like just keep going to ask him if he's my son and he'll come back if you're doing it he comes back every night he goes tonight was a big one like he's like he goes i mean just they wouldn't and he doesn't know i'm like told everybody to do this but it was the idea that's the funniest to me is that i would have a 23 year old son and I've never mentioned it. I just put him out of merch.

Yeah. But he, some of his references, I mean, he won't know. Like we just did a video. He saw a phone that, you know, like a phone. Rotary phone. And he was like, I don't, I was like, have you ever even seen this? He goes, I think there was like a toy when i was a kid maybe yeah they had one with no you know just no no concept of it yeah you talk about the coach and and um yelling at people i'm good friends with tony larusa i've got a lot of

benefits for him and whenever he calls me i pretend i'm a baseball player you know in the uh you know half you know in between innings and innings or before the game, and he's giving us a little talk. And I'm just pretending I'm like third base player. And he's going, now, what I need you to do, if you could do it. Yeah, coach, what do you need me to do? I'll be there. Yeah, I'm your man.

Do you do the benefits become, you do a lot of benefits? Yeah. You get asked to do money. It's so many. It's so many. And some of them you get paid for. People don't know that. Afterwards, they go, thanks a lot, benefits. Yeah. You get asked to. It's so many. It's so many. And some of them you get paid for. People don't know that. Afterwards, they go, thanks a lot, man, for doing this.

It's really nice of you. Steve Martin had a good joke once. He goes, he's at the benefit. He goes, well, congratulations. You raised $250,000 minus my salary. But yeah, there seems to be a lot of fundraisers nowadays now when i first started out there wouldn't be not that many but now a lot of golf things a lot of oh man a lot of golf and yeah it's amazing how many interesting people golf isn't it uh-huh you know there's a whole group

that's like getting uh i i was someone asked me to do something there's like some of you just can't i'm like i can't do it and then someday we would like list athletes where you're like yeah i would love to like golf like with that but you're like those guys are retired i know you're like i'm doing shows like you would go ask them in like just the as they start in the nhl and then you're like do you mind playing in every single golf then you're like i would i mean i would love to but you know who i was surprised to see after one? He was actually, some of these guys are musicians, and they'll play afterwards.

Robbie Krieger from The Doors. He loves the golf. He was there. Huey Lewis. I know Huey Lewis. I don't know Robert Krieger. Robbie Krieger. Yeah.

I wouldn't, I mean, I'm. Have you heard of The Doors? I've heard of The Doors. I've seen that movie. I like the idea of all of the, the idea of what they do. I'm heard of The Doors. I've seen that movie. I like the idea of all of the, the idea of what they do. I'm a big fan of that. The idea of it,

but not the actual thing. No, I even like some of their songs. I don't know what their songs mean, but it's a world that I could see that I would be interested in. And then. If you had time, but you're always working.

I don't have time. And then it's, but even if I started it, I would then be like, you know, I watched the Leonard Skin – but even if I started it, I would then be like, you know. I watched the Leonard Skinner documentary because I was like, I want to figure out their deal. And then – and that one was great. But then, you know.

And then I tried another one. I tried someone else too, and I was like, I don't think I can do two in a row. But you talk about people forgetting more. And you talk about in the book when you talk to Jim Carrey, who's another artist, he said 50 years from now, no one's going to remember our – everyone who knew us is going to be dead. Right. But our paintings will live on.

Do you feel that way? Well, I think some of the older actors, that was probably true. But now with digital, we're going to be around forever. Yeah. Jim Carrey's giving up basically you mean well no i'm saying you're you've got a better thing go you're he used to have hope jim saying jim carrey's already given up he's just going no one's gonna be like you should go jim take it easy maybe you but well he has actually retired so to speak from acting i mean he he's i guess he'll be

really picky but he's worked so much over the years. And now that painting is kind of a relaxation for him, right? But I think he did say that at a party I was at. He says, people won't remember you. Because he got into sculpturing and painting. He says, if you have a painting, people will remember you forever, like Monet. I said, well, you've got to be Monet, though.

And if you have a crappy painting, then people remember you all your life, too. Yeah. It's like a first pitch. I found out that Monet was a caricature artist, too. Oh, really? Either during or before, but it was more political back then.

When did they get started in art? Like, do they? Is it a very? Monet? This is a long time ago. Yeah. Is he around? Was he on SNL your first season?

He was actually a feature player. Oh. Yeah. Wow. He was in The Doors. Yeah, he was. No, like did Monet, like those people? We have some art stuff.

I don't know if, but is- Leonardo da Vinci was also a character artist. Was he really? I just read a book on him. And I stayed, I had that book for maybe a year as I was reading it because I loved it so much. My son kept going, you're not finished with that book yet? I said, I'm savoring it, man.

I love this. Well, that's perfect for him because that's one of the facts I have. He took so long to do the paintings that it took him, I think, three years to do The Last Supper and 15 years to do the Mona Lisa. He carried the Mona Lisa around with him in his cart. He went to Rome with it from Milan. He carried it. He would just do a little bit every time over the years.

He said the guy who sanctioned it finally threatened to cut off his funding if you don't hurry up and finish this thing. Oh, he had to give back a lot of commissions that people hired him to do stuff. He just didn't want to do it. He got lazy and stuff. Yeah. Well, that would be. Yeah, 15 years.

And then you see the Mona Lisa. You're like, I mean, 15 years, dude? It's good, but 15 years. The Last Supper, I'd be like, okay, we got a lot of people up there. The Mona Lisa, you're like, what are you talking about? She's not even doing anything in this place. She's not even. I mean, she's kind of okay. Like she starts to track back in there.

You go, I don't know. I guess I'd go on a date with her maybe. It might have even been him, they say. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. You know what's fun to do? You go to the Louvre in Paris. Everybody do this.

Everybody's looking at the Mona Lisa. I feel bad for you, the paintings in that room. But as you're looking at the Mona Lisa, stand nearby on another wall and look at a different painting and go, wow! And see how many people turn around. I mean, wow! This is unreal. Yeah.

Do you love art? You do. Yeah. I would study the impressions for a while. But you don't do impressions? Not really. I mean, it's too hard. Yeah. I would study the impressions for a while. Yeah. But you don't do impressions. Not really. I mean, it's too hard. Yeah.

It is hard. But that's why when I got an SNL, I go, why are they hiring me? I don't do characters or accents or impressions. I'm just a stand-up, a really, really good stand-up. You'll see. I'll show you. Yeah, I'll show you. But you do.

But you're your own. My favorite thing that, and I've seen you do it at Zany's, like when you leave and come back. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's my favorite thing. I don't do that too much anymore because it's so much work. It is a lot of work. It's a lot of work.

You got to set it up. I got to get up so early tomorrow morning. I don't know why I make these flight resumes. You know, flight's so early, man, because I come here, I'm having a good time. You know, you guys are fun to hang out with you yeah and then at the end i leave and applauding and they come back and say that's nice man i really appreciate that you love me and i get it too but i gotta get up early in the morning you know and it just kind of digresses

you know where i get angry at them look i said i gotta get up in the morning yeah you're not the nashville i know or i remember such as the crowd's like starting to leave and they're like i guess it's still going on Yeah. You're not the Nashville I know, or I remember. Such as the crowd's like starting to leave, and they're like, oh, I guess it's still going on. You threaten to sue them? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, my lawyer will come out. Yeah, some people are angry because they thought they were out of there.

That's, I mean, that's so funny. Yeah, I like doing that kind of stuff. It was kind of, anytime I could think like annie kaufman thinks yeah i like to do it yeah you know like i i would do this uh story thing where i i wouldn't finish a sentence because my father used to be so distracted when he's fixing something growing up he goes kevin hand me my uh uh i went what dad what screwdriver ham sandwich what do you know so i would leave the end of the sentence open, and people would just naturally fill it in for it

because they want to help you finish the sentence. And that worked for me for a long time. And I would do that, and people would just keep giving me really weird kind of words. So I pull over, and the guy throws me down on the pavement. I'm like completely nude. I'm nude. I go along with it.

No, it's true story. I'm not kidding around. Well, you're so good at getting back in even like that like where you go like true story i'm not kidding like you're so like uh the flow of it right and it almost like you forget the person yelled nude right right here's the other thing too i i don't mind when other comics do this, but for me, I don't say something's a joke. Like, I wrote that joke. No, you're not supposed to know it's a joke.

I'm just telling you this is the story. This is this idea that I was thinking of, or this is something that happened to me the other day. That's the other thing. Do you do time references? Like, I'll keep track of what I said. I'll say, last Tuesday. So anyway, later on. So, you know, a month ago, it doesn't even matter what the time was.

I'll say recently. Yeah, I have a joke about golfing with my wife. And I'm like, the other day, me and my wife went golfing. But it's like, yeah, it was a year ago when I started writing this story. The hard part is when you get, you know, my daughter is 10 now. And then you can see, you see your joke actually age. Yes. Because you're like, you know, she just turned two.

You're like, she drove to the show. Like, I could get a new act. I did that too. I was talking about my son being 10. And I was 63. And it's a big kind of age gap, you know. And he realized I'm an older father. And I have a whole bit on that.

And some guy comes up to me after the show. He goes, I Googled you. Your son is 15. And I go, I know. That's when I started the joke. It's five years ago. I just haven't gotten it out anywhere. You're right.

You go, oh, man, I got to start writing some new stuff. Yeah. Well, you can then go like, all right, you go do a Tonight Show, or you go do a special or something like that. Yeah, yeah. A lot of people say they do a special. They got to just start from ground zero again. They got to start from, you know.

I'm like, no, no. I just keep doing the same thing because nobody watches the special. Yeah. Well, that's, yeah, I'm at the place now where I got to start. And then I'll do another special five years later. Same material. Same as the first special. Yeah.

I do always think you can do. That is funny to think that. Because you can sometimes. You can go. Because I've had people come to the same shows and stuff. How do you feel about that? Well, if you know they're there and they're up front, it's not. When they do that comedy club or something, you're there.

You're like, just go sit in the back. I don't want to just see you. A't i'd rather not know you're doing it i don't mind it it's extremely flattering obviously that they come back i appreciate it uh but if i know it's kind of like gets in your head and you're like what they're just seeing these jokes again comics are just we're you know we're doing the same thing over and over again so you're just like so like kind of nervous. Yeah, yeah. I try to work something new in that I hadn't done before.

I will. And what's funny with an audience, we will do it for you, one person. So if one person goes, I'm going to stay for the second show, I will then go do a different. I'll try to throw in something different for that singular person. They could be sitting with 500 people and i will make the show for that person i know man i know they're they're there and it's kind of i'd rather just not know yeah that yeah true true and then afterwards you'd be like oh that's awesome thank you even if

it's a year later they come to see you it's like oh man do i have any new stuff oh i have a card i write everywhere like the place i'm at. That's good. And then you kind of, you have done it since the beginning. Oh, that's smart. And so like, you just would always like kind of, you can see your act kind of change. I always like to think I'll have all new material by the next time I'm here, but I don't think it doesn't happen. I remember the first time I went to a comedy club in New York, I walked out of there thinking, man, these people are so funny. Oh my God, they're hilarious.

I went back like the next week, exact same act. I go, okay, I get it. I get it. Now it's an act. They're good. You know, Robin Williams was the first one I ever saw on a late night set. And I remember, you know, he's this, like does whatever. And so he was on Leno, and he does all stuff. It was like so funny.

And then I remember he was on Letterman the next night, and I watched that one, and he, like, told the same things, and it was, like, yeah, it was very, like, because you're, like, that's a guy that you think is just making it, but you, like, there's still, he's different. It's a framework. It's a framework, yeah. I've noticed that, too. At first, I thought, man, this guy's improv-ing every every night he's going through women's purses and pull out stuff or look at this you know and after watching him for a while i think okay yeah he's got this frame that he does he plays around with it you know but it's basic frame that he does it's like when people audiences would tell comics that uh are they'll be like i watch this comic he did a different hour every night you're like well he did it yeah and he's no because if

he did he would be the greatest comic that's ever lived on earth yeah yeah yeah i was like he might be doing crowd work he might be doing like but there's like i said there's frame there's something yeah yeah that it feels different you know or yeah you know i got a lot of numbers in my act i forced the audience to do math a lot i had this joke where i said, when I was 18, I did this, this, this, and now I'm 18 times two. I'm 36 and blah, blah, blah. It was one of my better jokes. Then I turned 37. I was like, wait, it doesn't divide out either now. So I had to kill the joke. And then when I turned 38, I started doing the joke again. So every other year, even here, I would bring that joke back back so you're about to turn 51 so we're i gotta cancel it it's gonna be an off year yeah yeah all right so that's your joke it's like

maybe be like well i'm gonna wait till he gets 52 and then i'll turn 51 later this week guys so oh happy birthday you better go see me quick till this joke oh yeah yeah people go yeah i see you got rid of that joke that 51 year old joke-old joke. Yeah, I'm making room for new stuff until next year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they go, this guy does new stuff

every year. It's brand new stuff. Well, there's probably so much stuff there. Well, I do want to say one thing, though. Could you do caricatures? And there's a lot of

caricature, I can't say the word. Caricatures, yeah. All right, of themselves. can't say the word caricatures yeah all right of of themselves and one of the most famous is uh george hw bush because dana carvey played him so well that most people think that that's what they think of yeah a lot of that stuff that dana carvey did george hw bush never really even did yeah never did and it's just kind of fascinating i was reading about their friendship and they had a great friendship.

And when George H.W. Bush lost the election, his staff were down, and he called David Carver. He asked him to come perform at the Christmas party. Yeah. And they were great friends. And I just didn't know if you... Was a good friend of George? Yeah. Well, I was reading about there's a term called flanderization, which is from Ned Flanders

from The Simpsons, where basically characters evolve into a caricatures of themselves. He was just a smart neighbor opposite Homer Simpson, but then he becomes this Bible thumper. And now he's, you know, and there's a lot of characters like that. They talk about greed from The Office and joy from friends and stuff like that. But I really don't have any into this except I thought. Yeah, I mean, caricatures are kind of like when you do an impression on somebody. Like Dana is more of a mimic than an impressionist.

Like, hey, he'll start off with Bush saying, not going to do it, not going to do it. And then it became, not going to do it, not going to do it. Which he never said. No, never. Never said. Never said. Not the not God.

Because he was just like, not God, not. He never said that. And I think some of the other ones, like the older actors, Franklin Mardier, I don't give a damn. I don't think they ever said that either. Yeah. Hey, by the way, you going to do my hiking show tomorrow? Yeah.

You still on for that? Yeah. OK, cool. That debuted last last week with Paul Rudd oh yeah oh I saw it

yeah yeah so every Thursday it airs every Thursday on YouTube yeah YouTube hiking with Kevin

hiking with Kevin just hiking with Kevin hiking with Kevin yeah we'll promote it hiking with Kevin it's like 15 minutes 20 minutes I edit it down to

yeah how long is the hike hike is like four hours. Get after it? Yeah, you got shoes? I'm a hiker now. Are you really? Yeah.

What do you mean by hiking? I go around my neighborhood. Just around? No, we did. We started doing it on the road because it was like getting, just trying to mix it up and kind of see the land. I was in Montana and went to the top went up to 9300 elevation jeez from the bottom start at the bottom started at the bottom zero that's serious

hiking yeah we yeah we went up i want to say we went up i forget like 3000 or something maybe it was like six at the bottom and then uh so that was like a six hour hike and uh we started going you know just really going up and like seeing stuff. And you're just up there and you're just out there alone. Well, you got all the stuff, right? Because we're going to Nepal. Okay. You got to fly.

Well, you know, David Spade did a hike with me. I've done over like 100 hikes now. I'm exhausted. But Spade did one. But there were some prerequisites. What is it? He needs a chair to sit in? No, it had to be not traffic hour, getting there or going home.

There couldn't be any hills. Yeah. And he shows up with a cup of coffee. And we were hiking along on this perfectly flat trail. And it went up maybe 1% incline. And we're around. And he goes, are we going uphill now? I said, yeah, we are like 1%.

He was just like so picky about it. But my hikes have gone from really steep inclines over the years to less and less and less. And now it's almost flat. Well, that's good. I mean, it'd be hard to talk with someone. That's how I came up with it. I was hiking with the actor Matthew Modine. We're friends.

And we were hiking hard. And we're both out of breath. And we hadn't seen each other. We're catching up. And we're talking like, so Matthew, when you came to Hollywood, did you full metal jacket? And we couldn't understand what we were saying because we're so out of breath. I thought, this would be funny if I videotaped this. So I did.

And I posted it on Twitter. And people loved it. So every week, I got a different friend we're so out of breath i thought this would be funny if i videotaped this i saw i did and i posted on twitter and people loved it so every week i got a different friend until i ran out of friends and i started sending letters to publicists to see if i could get to the hike so that's kind of how it originated we were out of breath so that yeah so it's easier the less inclined the better and i'm usually the one that's huffing and puffing more than anybody i look and i go jeez i'm so out of shape you know but i'm talking too i'm holding on camera it's a lot yeah it's a lot yeah yeah i'm excited i'm a fan of that show how do people know when you're excited uh yeah it's yours the same way it's this i say that on stage if i walk out i go guys i'm i mean i'm the most excited I did uh we were in

Grand Rapids it was a hockey arena hockey arena it was sold out and I walked out and I was like I you know it's like I swear I am like I can't believe it like but it just doesn't you know yeah I don't show excitement my wife gets on me about that she goes I'm so enthusiastic and demonstrative and I get excited about things but you don't. You just, why don't you have any kind of? I said, first of all, I'm dead inside. Second of all, I don't trust anything. I feel like it's not going to happen. We look at an open house.

She goes inside. She goes, oh, my god, this is great. This is amazing. And I'm like, take her to another room. I said, don't get overly excited, because it's gonna hurt with the negotiations you know just say it's okay and so she would always get on me about that so the next open house we went into i go oh my god this is amazing this house she goes okay take it down a notch but yeah i'm like that too yeah yeah it's hard i did i uh if you don't feel it why are you gonna like well it's

i am excited i like i don't love like i love it but i'll and if you say it i'll describe it which is also bad walking open house like i was like like is it you know it's almost you can't hide it you're just like i love this house so and i'll say i'll just say too much and now you're in big trouble my problem is it's really annoying i match the enthusiasm of the person greeting me like if somebody goes hey man how's it going i'll say pretty good how about yourself but if they come in heavy like hey man i haven't seen you in a while i say i haven't seen you either it could be like a stranger you know yeah yeah so when you meet kevin just go up just know that know whatever energy you bring you're energy you bring. You're getting it back, baby.

You're getting it back. Yeah. I deliver. That's it. All right. I exaggerate. My brush is with fame. Available everywhere books are sold.

Available everywhere books are sold. Fantastic books are sold. Yeah. This is a great. It really is. You know, coming up with an idea to write a book is very hard to do. It is. Just the hook or the whatever it is that you know coming up with an idea to write a book is very hard to do it is that just the the hook or the whatever it is that you're going to write about this is like perfect

it is an autobiography sort of and and there's not just pictures in there and some people like pictures which is fine you don't have to read it but there's also words if they want to look at the words too well it's it's i mean a lot of the stories, they said Bud Friedman started the improvs. Johnny Carson. You know, I mean, Kaufman, that's crazy. You have the years of all of them. I think everybody's dead that's in here. Yeah, pretty much.

It's more of an obituary than anything else. Yeah, it's more than, obviously, Peyton Manning. Manning, you heard of their passing with Emma Stone. Sad stuff, but Stern, yeah, it's awesome. I mean, I really, I'm blown away by the idea of like, you think about if you had to write a book, it's like coming up with an idea. This is like such a perfect.

Thanks. Like you would, other authors would be jealous of just like, God, you figured it out. Well, you know, also the holidays are coming up, so great gift idea, easy to wrap, God, you figured it out. Well, you know, also, the holidays are coming up, so great gift idea. Easy to wrap. Thanksgiving presents, send it out. Halloween presents.

Halloween presents. It's a great book. It's very funny. Yeah, yeah. These are the best books because it's like written by a comedian, very funny guy. We're all big fans. Not that big.

It's a good size to carry. Not a coffee table. It feels like a... It's more of a nightstand book. It's a good book. Yeah, this is a book you want to sit out. Yeah. And you'd be like, a coffee table. It feels like a... It's more of a nightstand book. It's a good book. Yeah. This is a book you want to sit out. Yeah.

And you'd be like, oh, yeah. You're like, that's cool. I could take it on the plane. Yeah, sure. Oh, yeah. Have you read it on a plane like this? That's not a bad idea. You should do it.

I read it when I come out on stage. Oh, yeah. That's funny. That's how you get to do a book tour, and then you get to just do stand-up. Comics are going to be... They're built for book tours. Oh, yeah and then you get to just do stand-up that's comics are going to be they're like built for like book tours oh yeah yeah just go do stand-up uh i used to sell like if i had a dvd out i would stand out front and sell it yeah but i realized it wasn't worth the amount of money made every night to have people pull me in and cough on me you know and

want to talk so i stopped the merch thing. Yeah. Got into stocks. Yeah. Crypto. You know what? I'm actually very, I'm set in life because my wife comes from old crypto. Oh. I mean,

we're very comfortable. Very comfortable. This book means nothing. I mean, it doesn't. No, that's just a hobby right there. Yeah,

this is just a hobby. He actually needs the money to pay off the lawsuits. I mean, it's a wild number. I mean, you got, it's just a hobby right there. Yeah, this is just a hobby. He actually needs the money to pay off the lawsuits. I mean, it's a wild number. I mean, you got it. It's Joaquin Phoenix. I mean, that guy's going to light you on fire. I just don't see how you're not going to.

Oh, my God. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Yeah, she's coming after me. I mean, her family, Jennifer Aniston, she will not put up with this. Billie Eilish got new money. Yeah, she's got some. She's on the rise. She's trying to bring down her whole career with this. She's gotish got new money. Yeah, she's got some. She's on the rise. She's trying to bring down her whole career with this.

She's got like a sack of Bitcoin out there. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody go buy this book. Also watch Hiking with Kevin. I will be on it. I'm excited about it. Yeah, dude.

Thanks for sitting in with us. Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks, Nate. Our fourth part of this. A lot of people don't do that. Mr. Nate. Most people leave him hanging. Yeah, they refuse to touch him.

It's because he buttoned his shirt too far down. Oh, gosh. God, that's been a while. Have you been thinking about that for a while now? I just saw it at the end, but I'm glad that I just told you now. I don't know why you told him that. I was copping some peaks down there. Yeah.

Well, because it's over now, so I just want him to feel that guilt. Oh, yeah. You can't erase that. Yeah, it's two hours of just, yeah, I mean, that is tough. What about hiking with Kevin? Yeah. Yeah, like clean it up, dude.

We're a clean show. All right. We will see you next week. We love you all. Thank you. See you next week. Bye. That was great, man. That was great. Killed it, you all. Thank you. See you next week. Bye. That was great, man.

That was great. Killed it, you guys. Good job. Good job. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.