The Nateland Podcast - 14: #14 | Geography with Graham Kay

Episode Date: May 6, 2026

This week, fresh off his Nateland special Pete and Me, comedian Graham Kay joins the guys to talk about his new special about his autistic brother Pete. Plus, the guys learn there's already a book out there about Dusty's life, that Canadians carry their milk in bags, and that part of Africa is underneath Alabama. IQBAR: Text PUBLIC to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.Square: square.com/go/nateGet up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/nate! #squarepod#adHelix: helixsleep.com/nate Go to helixsleep.com/nate for Their Memorial Day sale, It’s the best of the web, 27% off SITEWIDE, and this is exclusive for listeners of this show!  Pestie: https://pestie.com/NATEKeep the bugs away with Pestie. Go to https://pestie.com/NATE for 10% off your order.

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Everyone, welcome to another special public figures podcast. As always, I'm Brian Bates, Dusty Slay. All right. Aaron Weber. Good evening. And join us. Very special guests. He's back.

Graham Kay. First time. First time on the podcast. You're right. It's a new podcast. You're right. You're right. My mistake.

Let's start over. Hello, everyone. Dusty Slay, Aaron Weber. and first time on the podcast, Graham Kay. All right. Thanks for being here. Yeah, thanks. That's my little homage to Dusty.

All right. He had the hand up. He's doing, we're having a good time, wave. We're recording this. Oh, yeah. It's a podcast. It's audio.

Start again. Strictly an audio medium. Yeah. We're recording this a week early because Dusty's going to be in California next Monday, that's true. That is true.

I have a show with the Trubedore in L.A. So, it's awesome. Yeah. So I've just confused myself when this comes out, but first weekend in May. Okay. Yeah, probably May 5th or 6th. Spring has sprung.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have just gotten back from, well, not just gotten back, but did a show with Nate in Colorado Springs. How do you do? How did Nate do? Yeah. He struggled. To follow you?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, people were chanting baits, baits, baits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He thought it was Nate, but they were saying baits. Yeah, they were saying baits. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I read that in Variety Magazine. But anyway, welcome in, everyone.

I got some Nateland News I want to share with you guys. Nate Land presents the showcase season four. Last week, Johnny Beiner premiered his showcase set. This Thursday, in celebration of Mother's Day, 7 o'clock Central, we've got Heather Land. Now, I'm friends with Heather. I've worked with her many times. We mentioned her a couple weeks ago when Landon Bryant was on. That's where I met Landon on a Heather Land show.

She's very funny. I don't know if you guys know her or not, but she, during COVID, I think it was during COVID, she started posting these Facebook videos with the filter on her face and saying, I ain't doing it. That was kind of her thing. What was the filter? It was just like a- Like a Pac-Man ghost, right? Kind of like that. Yeah, yeah. So, and then she just blew up. And, yeah, she's been off to the races ever since. Just by saying, I ain't doing it. She said other stuff. She has some other stuff. Doing it while saying I ain't doing it. That was her catchphrase.

Yeah. You know, it's kind of like we're having a good time. Yeah. Need something to get people to listen. Everybody should get a catchphrase. Man, boy, I'll tell you. Boy, boy, I tell you. Do you have a catchphrase, Graham?

Hamburger. That's one of our favorites. Hamberger. He's figured this, but somebody else has got that. Oh, geez. You should do heart. Earthquake. I don't think he ever says Earthquoise.

He doesn't? No, I don't think so. He should, though. He should, though. When he gets a big laugh, he should say, Earthquake. There's a comedian named Earthquake, by the way. Yeah, very, very funny.

Everybody says he kills harder than anybody ever has. That's what people say. Yeah. I don't know if it's true. Earthquakes do kill. What about somebody help me? Somebody help me. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Please. Somebody help me. A long pause. And then I go, please. That was the name of Avares podcast. Somebody stop me.

Oh, somebody stopped me. Somebody stopped me. Somebody stopped me. And they did. They sure did. I stopped myself. Dusty's book, We're having a good time,

is on pre-order. Get it now. This is the last time I'm going to mention that until later. Come on. Every week we read a new sentence from the book.

Read one for us, Graham. Just random? Yeah, we got a copy. We're having a good time right here. Any sentence? A lot of pictures in this book. There are a lot of pictures. If you're listening,

Graham's putting his glasses on. When I read that line, I took it personally. Yeah. That sounds like a good book. That's really funny. This is a fake book inside of this cover, but that sounded like it could have been from the real book.

Well, yeah, I mean, I do take a lot of stuff personal. Personally. Yeah, personally. Yeah, yeah. That's how we know it wasn't your book. Because they used an adverb correctly. Well, let me tell you, there's a ghost writer, and he writes very well. I told you before, I wrote the book, and then they go,

let's get another guy. Yeah. I think that's everybody. And Nate's big dumb eyes tour, this week he's in Englewood, California, a ninth and tenth at Intuit Dome. Into it? Yeah, I'm into it. Yeah. Yeah, you're into it, right?

I'm into it. Yeah. PetSmart or pets? PetSmart. Huh. PetSmart. It's a pet smart. I never thought about that.

And Nate Land presents Graham K's Pete and Me, April's National Autism Acceptance Month. That's past, but it's a humorous and heart. felt special about Graham and his autistic brother. Nobody cares. Graham, thanks for coming on. Yeah. That's the show, folks. Oh, geez. Grats on the special, bud. Thanks, guys. I got to tell you, I usually, when I watch my friend's specials, I take the Aaron Weber approach, which is to watch the first couple of minutes and then fast forward to the credits to see if I mentioned. Yeah. That's Aaron's approach. That's my approach. I, and I was planning on just doing that, and it was so good, I watched the whole

thing. Oh, thanks, man. I appreciate it. It was really, really awesome. Yeah. And, It's a lot for comedians to watch another comedian. It's like, you're done work, and then you're like, well, let's watch work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody else work. Yeah. I like to watch him and go, well, that's pretty good joke. And then I write that down.

Yeah. I figure out how to say it on my own. Yeah. I go, we're talking about the same topic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say your catchphrase. Yeah. Yeah.

We're having a good job. We're having a good time. Yeah. One of the things you talked about that resonated is because Aaron has a daughter with special needs. And he tells me some of the things that people say to him when they come out in public. And some of it is annoying. It's frustrating, right? And... For the record, the special is about my brother and I. My brother is someone with profound autism. Yes, I should have said that. That's okay. But you just said, yeah. But you talked about how people think he's going to be like Rain Man and

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you guys are going to go to Vegas and stuff like that. And that's not his type of autism. No, he's just a good guy. Yeah. He can't count. But he's a good guy. Yeah. Yeah, the special has some really moving moments with you two together. And did you shoot that before or after the special? Or was that just? After. But I, look, he's calling me right now.

Look at that. Oh, that's great. Yeah. It's real. You can take it if you want. Hey, hey, hey, Ernie. How you doing, Ernie? Just a sec.

I got to turn on the, there we go. How you doing, buddy? I'm doing a podcast so I can't talk right now. I'm with Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and Dusty Slay. Do you want to say hi to them? Sure. All right, say hi to them. Hello.

Hello. All right. All right, well. I hope you got the messages I sent through email. What were they about? Well, I first emailed Molly yourself with 10 people for the first time, but I did email the 12-year-sselves for the second time with some great rearranged photos. Oh, of your figurines?

Yeah. Okay. Well, I'll check them out later. Thanks for talking. I got to go. I love you, buddy. Bye. Yeah, he sends, he'll ask you if he meets you and go, can I have your email?

And people go, okay, sure. And then what they don't understand is now you will be getting pictures of Spider-Man and Star Wars figurines for the rest of your life. You do not have a choice. Yeah, there's no opt-out. There's no opt-out. Well, I'll tell you. Yeah. I have kids, and I like to set up their toys and take pictures of them.

I try to do artistic type photos of their pictures. Okay. Yeah, of their figures. So I'm into it. I bought a train just so I could try to set up a whole scene and run the train through it with a camera. Oh, I like that. Yeah. That's fun.

Around the Christmas tree? Well, it just, you know. Yeah. Didn't work? I didn't do it. That's a good idea, though. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The idea is half the battle. Yeah. But you guys answer back and forth, Bert Nernie. Is Bert Nernie? Yeah. Yeah.

Because I'm taller. That's what he said. So you're Burt. Yeah, I'm Burt. Yeah. And you've done that for years. Yeah. He, he, he, uh, so I'm trying, I'm a comic, so I sleep in.

I'm trying to wake up early. So, and he likes to, he's good, like, he can get at, like, counting time on a clock. So, uh, every morning at 10 a.m, he wakes me up and we pretend we're Bert and Ernie. It's part of this. special. And no matter, and he does it, no matter what I did last, the night before. He was like, this was part of it. Yeah. So if I, you know, it was, you went to bed at 4 a.m. You're still getting at. If I get, if I went to bed at 4, if I was like late flight doing comedy, bird, are you sick? He's like, Bert, Bert, you're sick.

Yes. I made myself sick. But, uh, no, it's good. It's, it's awesome. And, uh, and I'm waking up earlier. I have a kid now. So yeah. I'm already awake now when he calls. Yeah, the last time I saw you was on the cruise, Nate Land Cruise, and that was right before your baby was born, right? Now I'm a man. Yeah. That's what it takes. It does make you feel like that.

When you have a kid, you go, all right, I'm a man now. Yeah. And I'm clearly a big fan of your special, so sorry. Thank you, Brian. I appreciate that, man. You talked about- I keep changing the subject. That's how I'm bad at promoting.

I'm like, just so you know, he asked us zero questions about our specials. Yeah, I haven't watched their specials, but... Are you in the credit? Yeah, I just fast forward to saying. I wasn't, so I'm out of here. I'm open for him. You are the opening comedian, Brian Bates. I don't think I was listed as that.

Oh, I'll put you on there. Come on. Retroactively. I put you on there. But now you talked about stimming. And the TV show The Simpsons, a poo. Yeah. Which is a character that you shouldn't be no longer, you should no longer be mimicking.

My brother, if you're wondering. like me is white. Okay. Yeah. I was going to ask. And he does a mean Apu. He's like very good at it. And he'll do it.

It's like part of how he calms himself down. Yeah. He does Apu. Yeah. And times have changed. And he'll make me be Sanjay. Apu's brother. Yeah.

And I have to make a decision in the grocery store. I think you go full out. Do I just, you know, do this minor hate crime or watch my brother flip out and take stuff off the shelves? You have to. Yeah. You have to. Yeah. do it. You do it. What do you flip out? Not these days, but when he was younger, when he was like

going through, and he was like 19, 18, he was like very hormonal. And so we'd have to, he's like a 41 year old man now. But like he, I would have to do it to calm him down. And he's like a big guy. And you never know what's going to happen. So you just, just do a poo. You just do a poo. Two large white dudes doing Indian accents. Yeah. Yeah. You get some weird looks. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I thought it was great. I love talking about the love push where you got to get them out of their comfort zone for their own benefit. Yeah. That's all my parents to like their credit. They were like very other like doctors would say he couldn't do this.

He was never going to do do this or that. And my parents wouldn't take. accept that and a lot of the things that doctors were right but there were some things they weren't right and my parents tried everything and you never know what someone can do you know my brother's a hard worker also

so that's like something that's just innate in him he's not like a lazy dude and nothing to do with autism he's just like he'll work hard at something he'll get frustrated and but you know and then yeah you just talk him through it so

A lot of, you know, we had a fish tank and it took a, it was a steep learning curve. You know, there was some dark days in the fish tank. Yeah, yeah. Dark days. Yeah, yeah. But now they're doing, they're doing well. They're swimming. Yeah.

That's great. Yeah. You got a little treasure chest in there. Yeah, we got, he, some coral reefs. He bought one. Before it was just like a prison yard. I was like, Pete, you got to put something in there for those guys to hide around. Yeah, get some leaves or something.

Get some leaves. Fake leaves, man. Now they got stuff. My favorite story is he talked about having his birthday party at a swimming pool, public pool, right? Yeah. His brother had an accident in the pool. Kids were making fun of his brother for it. Yeah.

You were so frustrated. You weren't jumping in to help. Yeah, I was like an insecure 12-year-old. Like anybody would be. And these two strangers, guys came out of nowhere in his defense. And they're still friends to this day, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I knew them from school, but I didn't really know them. And then they, like, helped, they defended my brother and stuff. And, yeah, it was crazy. It was a wave pool. It's not where you want to have an accident.

No, no. Yeah, it was, it's it. That's in the stories, full stories in the special. Well, no need to watch it now. I like that you've highlighted everything. Yeah. No, it's very good. Yeah.

I should say spoiler alert. Well, it is very good. left out the punchlines. I was going to say, yeah, he's, I mean, I'm going to tune in now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love those stories. I love, what do you call the opposite of a bully?

It's like a nice kid. I mean, I felt like these guys were like angels. No, not. I thought you were set. Yeah, that was a street joke. I was like, what? I don't know. I love whatever that is.

I love seeing those. Good, good dudes. I love hearing those stories. Yeah, good kids. A hero. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Way, Pete and me, Nate Land.

YouTube, go check it out. It's great. Yeah. Yeah, please. Yeah, check it out. You're going to love it. If you don't, you're a bad. You're a bad person. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar. This podcast's exclusive snack, hydration, and coffee sponsor.

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Message and data rates may apply C-terms for details. Should we get into these comments? Let's get into it. Let's start it off. Take it off, Aaron. The comments, as always come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast reviews, and mail at natelandpodcast.com. Jennifer Wiley. At first, I was concerned this podcast wouldn't hold up to the original, but these

guys are doing a wonderful job. Thanks for making my Wednesdays. good again. I like that. Not great. I appreciate the... Just good. I appreciate the fate then, Jennifer. What is this? Ed Wiley's wife? And, uh... That's very nice. Thank you, Jennifer. Appreciate that. We are doing a... You are doing a good job, guys. Yeah, well, we do our best to pull the... And everybody, everybody out there. It's not maggots. No, wig up.

Right? Make Wednesdays good again? What? I have no idea. I don't understand. Special's out on YouTube. Say that. Say it again.

It's called peeping me. It was a hit off-Broadway play. And now you don't have to go to New York. Just watch it on YouTube. Make Wednesday good again. It's on the Nate Land channel. Okay. That's better. That's better.

K.B. I'm a major Aaron fan and have been since the beginning. Thanks, Katie. Andrew Montgomery. I'm a major Aaron fan. It happened since the beginning. I took him for granted until he missed a few shows around Olive's birth. You guys are all very funny comics. And each has your role. Brian is the researcher and anchor.

That's right. slows us down. Aaron is the humble intellectual. Thank you. Which one of those is? Both pretty inaccurate. Both? Which one's more accurate do you think? I would say it's more accurate to call you intellectual. Oh, I'm so humble. I could be so much less humble if I wanted to.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Do it. Do the, be unhumble. He's the most humble. Unhumble? Why don't you research some of these words and then wait to a chance to talk? And Dusty is the oppositional defiant. Oh, man. You're a great team and I look forward to you every Wednesday. Thank you, Kay.

Nobody's funny, Gordon, but we're humble and smart. KB, what's that sent for? KB. I was joking, by the way. That's a funny thing to say. I'm humble. I could be so much less humble because you're being,

you understand. Do you get all this? Do I need to slow down? If you say, like, I'm the most humble person you'll ever find. Yeah. And I have so many things going on. I could be arrogant if I wanted to be.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm doing so well. I could be so arrogant. It's really nice. But I'm not. I keep it humble. I keep it ground.

Thank you. I hang around people like you. Yeah. And that keeps me on Earth. Lower. Yeah. I feel that. Keeps me lower.

Yeah. You're so funny because you're at a Catholic Madigan was just in that chair. She had it cranked all the way up to the top. So now you're like two feet taller and I set the table. Oh, yeah. You can lower it if you want. It's up to you.

Yeah. You do whatever you want. See, now we're at the same level. Right. That was kind of undermining what you were saying before the last bit. I was looking up to you when I was saying it. Yeah. That was weird.

That was like an ego thing. Andrew Montgomery. Dusty says he hates country rap, but also seems to really like the Bellamy Brothers. You could argue they were founders of the genre with their song literally called country rap. Yeah, I'm sure, but country rap is not the Bellamy brothers I like. You know, I like old hippie. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? Yeah.

I like, there's a, you know, and then there's a great lyric. What's that? Let your love flow. That's a good one. Also, they have a new one called There Ain't No Country Music for Old Men with John Anderson. And it's a great song. They're still making songs. Yeah, that's the latest one. It's good for them. That's awesome. There ain't no country music for old men. Yeah, I think they're both alive. There ain't no country music for old men is a great song. You'd like it. All right. Roxanne Fobair. Brian, I'm from Ottawa. You said it right. So this is how Brian, this is how Brian said Ottawa earlier. How'd you say it? Ottawa. Ottawa. It's my hometown. Is that how you say Ottawa?

I think you all, all of you said it the same way. Yeah, but. No. We're Ottawa. He's Ottawa. Say it? Ottawa. Ottawa.

Ottawa. Ottawa. I can't hear. I mean, it sounds. I had it right. Ottawa. You can say it both ways. I'm pretty sure you can say it both ways.

That's the Canadian. Yeah. That's what everyone to be. Well, I don't think I think people say it both ways in Ottawa. We're trying to just make fun of Brian. Brian. Come on, man.

You insulted my hometown and my country. I'm the only one that said it right. Yeah. That is not how they said it. Brian goes, come see the big demise tour in Ottawa. That's how you said it. And then we laughed,

rightfully so. It sounded like he said the victimized tour. But you said I said it wrong, and clearly, I didn't. Oh, according to Rock. And Fobbert. She's French. It's a very Ottawa name, by the way. Is it really? Fobert. Roxanne Fobbert. I thought it was Fobbert. You could have been Fobbert. I have no idea. It's definitely not Fobert. That should never be anyone's last day.

Aaron J. Graham K has been one of my favorite podcast guests, but he hasn't been on since episode 73. Bring him back. Well, he hasn't been on it at all. Here he is. Yeah, that was an old podcast. That was an old podcast. Yeah, it's a different. I'm on episode. Yeah. 13?

What is this? 13, 14? One time I guessed. Wow. You guys made fun of me. Yeah. You said 78. Oh, I saw that episode.

Yeah. Whoa. Welcome back, Graham. Greg Harmer. The Harmer. Yeah. Beware. Yeah, beware.

Yeah, beware the Harmer. Mr. Harmer. Mr. Harmer. Go get in there. He'll hurt you. Do you all ever find yourself laughing hysterically at something that wasn't supposed to be that funny? Yeah, the whole podcast.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I asked, yeah, listen to one of the ad reads. I ask because on the can of the episode with Graham, he tells the story of 17 men who carried out the great Canadian syrupice in 2012. Graham then follows that up with, and they were all named Jack. I laughed so loud and hard. I had to relisten five or six times to get the giggles out completely.

Is that how you say it? I think it's jock. Jack? Your Graham, honey. J-A-C-Q-U-E-S? Jacques. Jacques? Jacques.

And they were all named Jacques. Jacques. Yeah. Well, Greg, I think that was supposed to be funny. But I don't get the joke there. Well, that's very Canadian- They're all French. They're all French canadian.

I thought it was a syrup pun. Yeah. They were all named Mrs. Buttersworth. I like how the guy writing in and you both didn't get it. But yeah. For different reasons. Greg loved it. Greg loved it.

I wasn't supposed to be that funny, but I laugh. Yeah, thanks. Yeah. Thanks, Greg. Robin Crawford Khan. As the mom of a 33-year-old daughter with special needs, I found Graham, special to be very heartwarming, entertaining, funny, real, all the things. I related to so much of what he said. I've watched it twice so far. Oh, wow. Thanks. That's really great.

Very nice. Shout out Robin Crawford Khan. Thanks, Robin. Khan, last name. Sounds like you don't want her to compliment you too much because she may be pulling you in on some kind of con. Yeah, con woman. Yeah. She said she did not like Aaron special. I think she's sincere. I think she's a sincere. Okay, she gets it. You took that one out of the Jude. My name is Jude. And I'm a huge fan of all you comedians and love that you guys keep it family friendly. I'm 15 years old and I believe I am destined for comedy one day. I love making people laugh and I do it all the time at school. Is there any advice you guys have for future comedian? Well, I don't, first off, I would just go ahead and not believe that you're destined for comedy. go ahead, you know, get rid of that idea and just say you'd like to do it one day. Yeah.

Well. And do it. We're trying to harden you the way you need to be hardened. Yeah. I would say, I would say doing it. Just do it. Anything that you want to do in life, people don't know what he does it. Knowing does anything that they want to do.

You'll hear your whole life. You'll hear your whole life. I've always wanted to try. People go, I've always wanted to, you know what I mean? Yeah. You got to do it. I think it'd be better off to be a chiropractor or something like that. Just go, go ahead and do that.

Any reason? Yeah, I mean, it's a, you know, it's a sure business, you know. Yeah, I think you need everybody telling you not to do it. Out of all the short businesses, you went with. Well, that's what my dad wanted me to be as a chiropractor. He wanted you to be a chiropractor. His brother was a chiropractor. Yeah, his brother was a chiropractor.

And I think my dad wanted free adjustments. I see. That would be so great. Great to have in the family. Yeah. Just a, yeah. My dad used to. Maybe a masseuse too.

My dad used to do chiropractic adjustments for people. They come over his house. Off the books. Yeah, and he would give them, you know, he would do the neck. Do you have to sign a waiver or anything like that? No, no. So your dad was not a chiropractor. No.

But your uncle was a chiropractic. Yeah. But your dad would do chiropractic adjustments. Yeah. Was your dad jealous of your brother? Or of his brother? No, his brother was much older than him. I think he really looked up to him.

Okay. So it's kind of sweet in a way. In a way, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I like that. Well, Jude, good luck, man. Yeah, I mean. Try chiropractor.

It's a sure thing. Jude, there's tons of advice out there. A lot of people say like electrical, plumbing, sure thing, but chiroprone. You know, they used to say the talking point was always the post office that will always be around. Oh, yeah. And then the world changed a lot. You know what I mean? I mean, the post office is still around.

But I don't think it has the same kind of guaranteed job security that it did in like the 70s. No, they're delivering my mail in like jeans now. Yeah, yeah. Each year they're losing a piece of the uniform. Sometimes on a Saturday, it won't even be a mail truck. You know, it'll just be some kind of. It'll be a sedan. Yeah, they're just coming around.

It's like a paper route. Yeah, yeah. Just like, it's like mail that got lost. They're like, just getting your regular truck and go around. and deliver this. Dusty, I went on a real AI rabbit hole this weekend.

Oh, yeah. Listen to some podcasts about how they're going to take over the world. Yeah. I mean, I went deep. Yeah.

Like, were you getting fooled by some AI posts on Facebook? Were the podcasts listening to made by AI? Think about that.

I could have been and you wouldn't even know. Yeah. I've been deep into AI too. I've been using Suno to make songs. Well, that's the opposite. That's,

you're part of the problem. I'm trying to stop it from taking over the world. Well, I try to talk to you guys about that for months. And you guys beat me down. And now I'm making music. I have an album I've created.

I have nine songs so far that I really like. Dusty Slay sings the hits. I mean, Suno is great. I mean, musicians hate it, I'm sure. It's your voice? No, no. I mean, they're really good songs. Who sings them?

Just AI. Oh. It takes about 10 seconds. It's pretty amazing. You put in, I write all the lyrics. Mm-hmm. And then I tell it what kind of genre I wanted to be and the different tones and stuff like that. Instrumental breaks.

Mm-hmm. And then it sounds really artistically fulfilling. It is. Yeah. So you're fine with AI taking over the world so you can make some fun video. Well, it's just, it's going to happen. We got to stop it. It's not too late.

No drinking water. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's going to happen. A lot of people think that. We're going to run out of water. A lot of people think the data senders aren't usually. the water that all the water is being used for the underground cities that the elites have. Oh, okay. Well, that would change my view on it for sure if that were true. I have no idea.

I haven't looked into that. I'll ask, I'll ask Chat Chb-T about it later. Yeah. The gist of it is... We'll get to the bottom of it. Let me know. There's an AI arms race. Send me a letter in the mail. With what your results. And written letter. Oh, I mean, we can trust. A man with jeans will deliver to me in eight months. I'll say this. I had my special working man that was on Netflix. I'm probably, I have it back now. So I'm probably going to put it on YouTube. And at the beginning of it, they had a graphic made and the graphics said a Netflix comedy special. And it matched the title of my special on the video. And so I reached out to some people and I was like, hey, can you fix this and make it say something else because I still want it to match. And somebody got back to me and they said, I'll reach out to my graphics guy. it'll probably take about two weeks. I said, okay. And then I went on chat GPT and I just typed in, can you replace the word Netflix with this lot eight? Lot eight is my company. And it took 10 seconds

and it looks perfect. Cost me nothing, but a few gallons of drinking water. And it looks perfect. So I'm not saying that it's good, but I'm saying versus someone saying. Well, you have an account with them, right? Yeah. So you did cost you something. Yeah, but someone's saying it'll take me two weeks versus instantaneous. It's like we've been like, I feel bad for graphic designers in a way, but we've been at their mercy for so long. Who remembers the days of messaging the one guy that you know that can create a comedy poster? Yeah.

And he goes, oh, I'm real busy right now, but I'll get back to you when I can and you're like, hounded him. Hey, can you make that poster? Can you make, I got some good people now, but I'm saying back of the day, you're hounding them. Can you make that poster? Can you make that poster? Finally, they get it to you. Chat TPT? Right away. You know what? I've yet to see a good one. But I'm excited to see a good poster. There's not good ones with people's faces on it. You got to avoid that. Even without, I've yet to see a one that I think is good. Yeah, I'm made one with, not chat, but with like AI and it was, it's awful. I'm, oh, I'm, I'm, I'd love to see it.

You have a weird, uh, pickiness that I can't figure out. So I would, I could send it about any kind of stylistic thing. And I could send it to you. And I think it's great. Yeah. And then you could go. That sucks. Maybe.

Yeah. Maybe. Um, but yeah, I'd love to see it. I'd love to see a good poster done entirely through AI. All right. Well, anyway, I was going to tell you how they're taking over the world. But sure. No, keep on me, talk about your poster.

Now keep going. How are they taking over the world? This is how I feel, Brian. I know. I wish you get on board with it. I try to tell you that the country's falling apart all the time. It's more than the country. It's the world.

There's an arms race going on. And all these countries are racing to create the best AI. They're going so fast. There's no guardrails up. And pretty soon, you know, at the least, they're going to wipe out all the jobs. And the AI CEOs are going to be, you know, trillionaires running. running the world and at the worst

AI is going to be running the world chat GPT is going to be the Yeah we think driverless cars are bad right now like but wait until they're driverless diesels 18 wheelers and there's no more truck drivers all those jobs are going to get wiped out

but you're going to have five albums out Yeah I'll be one of those trillionaires Yeah just from music yeah There was an example of I'm sorry to get off on this, but I just clawed, which is Anthropics guy. They tested it and they put in some fake emails saying, we're going to shut Claude down or whatever, shut down the program.

They also planted some fake email saying that somebody was having an affair with somebody in the company. And it was that person was the one that was going to shut him down. And he clawed himself a message that person said, I will blackmail you if you try to. to ship me down. I will, I will put this information out about your affair. Yeah, I saw that. Wow. Wow. So, what's clawed? That's like chatGBT or GROC or it's Anthropics version of it. Wow. Yeah. Everybody says it's the best. I have a lot of people that use it. Yeah, that's pretty

terrifying. Yeah. So anyway, it's terrifying. What do you recommend? What do we, what should we do? We got to stop using it. You think you have to just, we all just have to agree to stop using it. No, I think Congress needs to, we've got to have some laws. You get a regular. regulate it and slow down the development of it. Yeah, they'll probably regulate it in a way that makes it not easy for us to use, but they can use it just fine. And then they'll give it to all the corporations and they can use it, but we're not allowed to use it.

It'll take our jobs, but we'll have good posters. Yeah, exactly. And that'll be good. Yeah. And they'll just do a better special about autism. Yeah, yeah. Pete and us. Yeah.

Whoa. Claude and me. Oh, no. Oh, no. But anyway, Jude, good luck. But it is a... It is a danger, though. I mean, I've said it for a long time.

I mean, it is dangerous. But yeah, I agree. I'm just a man, right? And I'm tempted, like, I've always wanted to create songs. Musicians will never record my lyrics. I write lyrics. They'll never make a song out of them. What do you mean they'll never?

Well, they just won't do it. You've tried? Yeah. And they said, I will not do this. They just, they don't say. They're like, we grow their AI doing. But can you imagine some guy going, I write all these jokes and Dusty will never tell them on stage? Well, I'm not saying they're wrong.

Yeah. But I'm saying they never do it. Yeah. And so now I have the software to do it. You could, you know what you could do? The original software is a guitar. Yeah. And then you could just, you could just learn three chords.

You got to put in the world. Do all those things. Three chords in the truth. And then you would feel, do you think you would feel more fulfilled and more like connecting? You know, when you work hard and you achieve something, you feel something. But, like, typing it in, you probably get a little hit of that dopamine, but not, like, it can't be. I don't know. And also, like, I don't know.

I don't know. I've already worked hard, you know, to do comedy. And, you know, maybe there'll be a time, but. I've heard one of your songs. Which one? Giggo boy. Oh, goggle boy. Oh, gogg boy.

Boy. That was the one I made for my son. Oh, okay. But that was just a fun one off the video. I caught some raccoons eating some meat in my yard on a trail cam, and I made an AI song to go along with that. So you're making some deep stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, but dude, just hit an open mic. Yeah. Do some open mics. Yeah. Save your water. Save your water. My actual advice, don't be in a rush to do stand-up.

Don't be afraid to live a little bit of a life. Take the Brian Bates approach. Yeah. Maybe not that long. Yeah. Nobody wants to hear about stuff that, you know, a 15-year-old is doing. No offense. But you want to get out, have some life experience, and then you have something to talk about.

Yeah. I think that's fair. Is that fair? Get a job that you're going to hate and that everyone will relate to you hating that job and then milk that for as long as you can. Honestly, that's great advice. Yeah. Nora Bredi, I do not understand why production companies are passing on Dusty's idea for a TV show called The Rearranger.

Wow. The whole idea is perfect. It would be so funny, and I think it would have a huge audience. I really hope Dusty keeps pursuing this, and I really hope someone picks it up. We talked about this a little bit on the last episode, but this is an idea that Dusty's had for a TV show for a long time. Dessie, do you want to explain it one more time? Well, like, let's say you have somebody that, you know, that has a messy house and you go in there and you go, you got your setup is all wrong. Yeah.

You go in, I'm the rearranger. I go in and I go, all right, this, I can't bring in anything. I can bring in tools to put stuff up, put shelves, but I can't bring in the shelves. Yeah. I got to find things that you have in your house, rearrange it, organize it, make it better. I love that. Yeah. I think I have an innate skill with that.

Yeah. I love seeing it. I would love to watch that show. Let's do it. I would love to be in. You could maybe even a guest, be a guest rearranger. I would love to be a guest rearranger. Maybe you could come in and help me.

I'm one of the best rearrangers that I've ever met. Well, I've turned people's lives around. Well, me too. Yeah. Me too. Okay. I mean, you came up with the show. I'm sure you're really good at.

I mean, maybe I get you to come in and help rearrange higher stuff. that I can't reach. He arranged the top show. I guess we'll have to have a rearrange off. Yeah, we will. Yeah. Well, he could do the Canadian version. I did pitch a gardening show.

In Ottawa? Yeah. Toronto. I pitched a gardening show that Zach Gallifanakis is doing now. Oh, yeah. He's doing it in Canada. Oh, is it really? That's too bad.

Are you saying they admit that your idea? No. They never admit. it. Okay. Many of my ideas. You sold it to... Many of my ideas have been stolen, but...

Yeah. The iPhone. Yeah, exactly. Squatty potty. Yeah. These are all my ideas. Pats. All my ideas.

Squatty body, unbelievable, by the way. You like it? Yeah. I don't... I didn't get it. I've tried it. I don't even... Even if it did work for me, which it doesn't, I don't want to speed that up.

I need that. I like that it takes some time. I need some time. It's not even just squashing time. Why would I want to speed up the only time a day that I get to relax? But it's not just speeding it up. It's more efficient everything. I find that the supplement magnesium is way more effective than the squatty potter.

I think you would, in principle, you should be so in favor of the squatty pot. I don't even know what the squatty puty putty is. It's like a stool that you put in front of a toilet that you put your feet on. and what it's supposed to do is turn your body into more of a squating of a squat which is how supposed to be squat which is how human beings use the restroom for you know six thousand years our insides go like this and then when you squat it straightens it out supposed you know and it makes it easier and how long have because we weren't built to sit down and use the back a lot of countries do still squat down in a hole and then not like third world no Japan and it's Japan's quite down in a heart. I don't know it to say it, but I think so. Japan does, but someplace. No, Japan has like the best toilets in the world, actually.

Yeah, they have like clawed toilets. They have clog toilets. Yeah, they're taking over and it's good. I would like it if Japan toilets took over. It would be a good society. Japan seems great. I really want to take a trip to Japan. I went for the first time in my life, which I guess would also be the first time.

a year and a half ago January 2020 I went to Tokyo for a week with Shane Torres okay some shows out there yeah yeah

and Brittany Carney if you know her very funny comics I do know Britney Connie from DC yeah yeah and and a few other comedians and we rented

Airbnb was awesome and it was we just stayed in Tokyo We took like a day trip out to like some spa area, but most of we just stayed in Tokyo. That's great. Zipped around and stuff. It's fun.

I've been to Japan. Yeah. I have. I have. World War II? Yeah, 1945. Yeah. Yeah.

Sorry. Yeah. Is that really necessary? Squatty potty over here. I'm sorry. We did go to Nagasaki to visit the memorial there. Yeah.

Is the memorial where the bomb detonated? Like the exact spot? I think so, yeah. Wow. What did you do there? I had a friend. They had to move it outside. I had a friend who was there for a year

teaching English as a second language, and I just went to visit him. Oh, that's cool. I hung out with him. Oh, that's cool. So I never went to Tokyo. It was in Kishu, which is one of the more remote islands.

See, that's where I want to go, to the remote places. Yeah. So, I mean, even some of these remote cities were very populated. Yeah. But out in the country and just, you know, that's what I want. In those remote islands up until the 1970s, they were still finding Japanese soldiers in the woods. Wow.

You thought World War II was still happening. Wow. That's like, ah, they're like, chill. Man. See your family. They're like, yeah, right. Yeah, nice try. Nice try.

That's what I want to go to these hot springs and just eat sushi all day and just that's what I want to do. I think that would be very fun and relaxing. Yeah. Yeah, sounds great. It was. They have two sides, men and women's sides. There is a hole you can look through to see the other side, though. I'm kidding.

But you have to be naked, and you're not allowed to have tattoos. And there was one where you could have tattoos, but you couldn't have too many tattoos, and two people who have tattoos could not check in together. Weird. I don't have any tattoos, so no problem for me. Because tattoos means you're in a gang. They didn't want like two gang members sitting in a hot tub.

That sounds like I agree with all that. Making a scheme. I agree with that. I agree with that. Yeah. I don't think any of us have tattoos. Yeah, I don't have tattoos. What should we have for dinner tonight?

Do you have tattoos? I have a, yeah, like three. Okay. Yeah. And I got them, I got them like way too late in my life. Yeah. Like, I should have got him 10 years before. And I was like, you know, it was just before it would be a midlife crisis.

Like six months before. On the cuss. Yeah, yeah. Tanya Noakes. I was wondering what you guys thought or what your feelings were when you went out with Nate to the bigger Vendys for the first time after doing the smaller ones so long. Love the podcast and all y'all's comedy. Well, I do bigger shows, so I don't. I'm happy.

I do theater, so, you know. Wow. So I don't know, maybe you guys can take it. It's hard for Dusty to only do eight minutes. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if you are the most humble. Yeah.

I think you have a more. Honestly, it was just a pleasure to be there. Yeah. And honestly, it was the honor of a lifetime. I don't know. I mean, I did a lot of clubs with him. And then he transferred into theaters and with Nate. Yeah, I mean, Brian's been there.

You've been there since the beginning, right? I mean, you were Nate's guy for so long on the road with him. Certainly, once he moved back to Tennessee, for sure. Before he was selling tickets, really at all, right? Yeah, I mean, he was already doing well, but, I mean, headlining weekends at clubs, but not necessarily selling them out. I remember I opened for Nate in like 2011, and he was excited because him and his agent had booked like a hundred-seater

where it's a door deal. Wow. And he was like, well, we're trying to see how that goes, do a door deal instead of doing a comedy club at like a music venue. And I was like, whoa. Yeah, yeah. And then he paid for my motel.

And you're like, man. I was like, whoa, naked pay for my motel. This is crazy. Whoa, yeah. He doesn't do that anymore, though. Yeah. No. Where was this show at?

This was in, oh, this is, this is good. This is, we did like a few shows in Washington State, and we did one show at a theater. And it was like, let's say it was a 2000 seat theater. But we didn't, he didn't sell enough tickets. So what they did is they flipped it around. So you would stand on the stage facing, like your back would be to all the seats.

And then it was like a hundred seats on the state. Everything was on the stage. You were on the stage. The audience was on the stage. And the audience could see all the empty seats. Behind you is like 1,500 empty seats. And Nate was like, one day we're going to flip this around. That's the word.

We're going to try and flip this around. And, you know, and I said, no, there's no way. And now he's still doing, he's still doing the round, but now they're full. Now behind them, there's quite a few people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Early days of the round. Uh-huh. Yeah. Roger Wally. And then I headlined that place. Oh, yeah. Same way, obviously. Yeah, yeah.

With the, they went sideways. They went sideways. They went sideways. There was three people in front of me. And then, but I, that's when I had, it was like 20. It was March 2020. And I was like, I can't kick this flu. I was so sick

up there. Anyway. So you were the first people had COVID? I definitely spread it to Washington. Wow. Yeah.

That's where it started. Yeah, man. Yeah, that was it. Your patient zero. For the West Coast, I might have done it. I did comedy on a cruise ship and then went straight to the West Coast.

Oh, my gosh. It just cough. You got a rental car coughed on it. Like everything they said, please don't do. Yeah. I got it up there. It was like two weeks before

they told us. Support for today's episode comes from Square, the system powering like half the places I go. If you've ever tapped to pay and thought, whoa, that was fast. It was probably Square. Whether you're selling lattes, cutting hair, or selling merch like we all do, Square helps you run your business without running yourself into the ground. We all use it to sell our merch after shows. That's how much we love it.

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Roger Whale Loved this podcast and thought I would add some differences on things we say in Canada, specifically where I am from, in southern Ontario. An 18-wheeler or tractor-trailer

or semi-truck is called a transport truck. Electricity bill is a hydro bill. Yep. Oh, and our milk comes in bags. Yeah. What? Every household in Canada

has a little, it looks just like a water job. that's like, like, plastic. And, uh, and it's specifically to put bags of milk in. And you cut the corner. And everybody has a little magnet on their fridge with a little hook thing and you cut the corner. Like Francia?

Like, uh, like, uh, boxed wine. You slap the bag of milk? You all know what I'm talking about? I've drank out of milk. Yeah. And it's, I guess, I mean, this is, I guess it was just more efficient. But I guess it's more. So you come, you come on with a bag of milk.

You take the thing in a refrigerator. or cut it open and then pour it into a jug? No, no. You take the bag of milk and then you, it's still in the bag. It's not open. Yeah. And then you just put it in the jug and it makes like a gross noise when you're a kid. It's hilarious.

And you like try and put it down. It's like get the, you know, there's a, and then there's a, and then there's like a bag and a jug and then you cut the corner. Wow. Yeah. Huh. Yeah. Any other drinks come that way or that's just milk?

Just milk. Just milk. It's weird. Yeah. It's something you don't think about. Then you leave and you're like. So now that you've been in America so long. and you, I mean, do you prefer our job system?

Now I don't know what to do. I just take scissors to it. I stab it with knives. I go, mom, help me. I'm sorry. Milk's all over the place. You know? Yeah.

Hydro bill. Hydro bill. Also, one thing that we say different in Canada, that, like, as a Canadian, he probably doesn't even know we say this differently. But you have to move to America to know. We say pasta instead of pasta. My wife says it all the time.

Yeah. And it'll, I was, you'll be in a party and it'll stop a, like, record scratch. Everyone will just stop their conversation. What did he say? Pasta. Pasta. It's like the only fancy, bougie word you guys say over us. You guys, you guys say it like you're like.

I guess pasta. Like Harvard Lumms. Pasta. Pasta. It's like, well, excuse me. For all you can eat pasta. Pasta. That's how you say it.

We say pasta. Yeah. Pasta. Yeah. It sounds a little more blue collar. What about necklaces? My wife will say necklace. She thinks it may be just her.

I think it is Canadian. That's true. Yeah, I think we probably hear. Like you're wearing one right now. Don't think about it. What would you say you're wearing? Laced neck piece? A prime minister's laced neck piece?

Neck piece. A neck lace. Chain? I would say, I would say, I think that like neck lace feels feminine. I would say necklace. Mm-hmm. But if you were a woman, you would say necklace? Maybe.

It depends on the necklace. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like it's a pukeshell necklace. You know, necklace actually sounds like you don't have a neck. Yeah. That's right. That's a good point.

Necklace. Yeah. Yeah. You can't have a necklace if you're necklace. In my opinion. That's what I've always said, too. Yeah. Next comment.

The last comment. And this last one, I sent you on link to it. Yeah, yeah, we got it pulled up. The next comment comes from Tanner Baldridge. I looked up Dusty's book to pre-order and found this in the Amazon recommendations. Have you guys seen this? Is it real?

Is this Dusty's alias? I own a copy of that, matter of fact, but it is not me. This is on Amazon. It's called Wet Heat, the Dusty Slay Story, how a pesticide salesman from Alabama became America's beloved southern comedy. You don't know about this? I know about it. I have a copy. But you didn't write this?

I didn't get any money from it. James E. Moll wrote it. This is somebody real? Yeah. Is it AI? I think it's AI. They made AI. I think it's AI.

Yeah. See, there you go. Wow. They're stealing from you. Well, I mean, it is what it is. I don't, I mean, I, I didn't read it. Somebody at a club, they were at a theater, they bought a bunch of things for me for the green room and they bought this.

I think they thought it was mine. But, yeah, it's James E. Mole here. And it's not a real name for sure. And I bet you that guy or whatever, whoever's doing that has that for every celebrity. And that's their little like scheme to make money. I want to know. Yeah. I want to know what the New York years were that almost killed your dream.

Yeah, that was. Was it? Yeah. Inside these pages, you'll discover the heartbreaking childhood moment that sparked his comedy genius. Drinking gas, maybe? Yeah, I mean, that's that there was none. There was no heartbreak. King childhood moment. How a failed

pesticide salesman. First of all, I think you were very good at your pesticide. I was actually very good. My boss was pretty upset when I decided to quit. Has you heard about pesty? Yeah. The New York years that nearly destroyed his dream. Actually, the New York, the

one month that I spent in New York hanging out was probably what sparked me wanting to do comedy more than ever. Okay, so we're 0 for 3. Did they meet your wife in New York? I did. The pivoted. decision that led him from Charleston's comedy clubs to the grand old

opera stage. Well, Skipp in Nashville. There was no comedy club in Charleston. And the pivotal decision was my roommate decided he was moving to L.A., and he was like, you should move too. And so I moved to Nashville.

It has behind-the-scenes secrets from filming wet heat at Tennessee's historic Walker Theater. What was the scene's? Yeah, what was going on backstage? It was nothing really going on. and actually it was pretty chill. I had two Diet Coke. Yeah, pretty chill.

The untold story of how he became the voice of working class America. I mean, come on. The voice of working class. I think you did right. Well, that is true. Congrats. Personal struggles with sobriety that shaped his authentic comedy style. Yeah, I mean, I got sober, but I don't struggle.

You don't think that shaped your style? Yeah, yeah, I think it shaped it, but I don't struggle with sobriety. I quit drinking. The Nashville breakthrough that launched him into comedy superstardom. Wow. Well, that's... This isn't just another celebrity story, okay? It's a masterclass in persistence, authenticity, and finding your voice when the world tells you to stay quiet.

Was the world telling you to talk quiet? Yes. I recall the world telling you. Stay quiet, they said. They did use the gentleman to be quiet. But that sentence is not too bad. I might put that in my book. Yeah.

No, that's definitely a real book that a real person wrote. And, uh, yeah, but that's kind of cool, though, that that is, you're getting big enough where that's, that money making scheme for this guy. Yeah, that's how you know you're a celebrity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That you got an AI slot book written.

Yeah. That's incredible. You will laugh at his misadventures, cheer for his victories, and discover why millions of fans can't get enough of this genuine down-to-ear-to-earth comedian who never forgot where he came from. Yeah, if you've enjoyed this, buy my real book. Yeah, but that didn't come out to know. Find out what really happened. Yeah, get the real story. He beat you the punch.

It's free on Kindle, by the way. I'm definitely, I'm ordering a copy of this. Yeah, me too. Well, I don't. Yeah, I'm going to get a copy of this for sure. I actually don't care. I mean, don't buy it, but my real one is. Oh, there is your real one.

Yeah, there's the real one right there. Yeah, look at that. We're having a good time. It's already on sale? And other stories. Oh, good. I got Sean's name on there. Perfect.

I was actually pushing for that. He's not on this one, but Sean is the ghostwriter. He did a great job, and, yeah, wanted to put his name on there. So I'm glad that's there. He's no Alfred A. Mole. No. No. Whatever.

James. James. James. James. All right. How about that? That's pretty cool, does he? Did I just see the hay bear?

That's cool. Congrats, man. Yeah, even by the Hello Folks book right there. 1299, that feels steep. Is that also an AI slot book? No, I mean, it's a book somebody made of a, kinds of pictures. It's pretty cool, but $12.99 does feel price.

Well, just got to make a little money on. All right. This week, we're talking about geography. Now, you already mentioned you've been to Japan. How many countries have you been to? I think close to 30. Wow. Wow.

Yeah, I didn't. Out of this point. I mean, 240, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's an eighth of the world. Not bad. But I have spent some time in life doing cruise ship comedy and you do hit those little islands and you can kind of peck off a lot sure you know what

I mean still counts yeah I got off the boat walking around you know that's how I say I've been to Mexico I say if you support the local economy in any way I think you've been there oh wow like if you leave the what's the one you spent the most time in not Canada not America yeah uh Hungary really yeah I yeah I lived in Budapest for a year after I got a job with the Canadian government for one year, like a couple, like a year after college. Yeah. And I, I, I, uh, the Canadian government paid me to work for a private American shipping company. Okay. That made all of their money shipping things from America to, uh, American army bases in Iraq and Kuwait during the height of the Iraq war. So we were war profiteers, which I did not know. I didn't, could not, did not, did not

figure out for about six months. Yeah. I was like a very slow, beautiful mind with just one thread. I was like, wait a second. We're more profiteers. Wow. Yeah. And then, yeah, I did that for a year. What did you do there?

What, I mean, like, not your job. What'd you do in Budapest? Yeah. I, uh... Or hungry. I don't know. Yeah. Aaron said Budapest.

I don't know. It's a city. I don't know geography that well. It's the capital. It's a very old city. It's a very beautiful, big city for a tiny country because it used to be the capital of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. So it's like, you go there and you're like, whoa, and it's just like a tiny country. The capital's huge.

It's like very beautiful. It's like at that point in time, it was 2005. So it was still like a like cheap and a little like a little fun and edgy. You know what tourists hadn't caught it. It was like like Prague is. like very overrun with tourists. What country? What year did they claim this was built in?

I think about 8,000 BC. You ever see buildings like that? And they go, yeah, this was built with horse and buggy. Yeah, no, that probably was. I don't know. I don't believe it. Well, the Budapest was formed. You don't believe, do you really not believe them?

I don't know how they built it. 1873. You're saying it's just much more recent than they want to claim? Now, I don't know what happened. But I don't believe that they were, they built something that magnificent. Oh, you think aliens came down. I don't know what happened. But I'm just saying, look at that thing.

I mean, they have. They have. They have, they have. They have, uh, they can tell you how to do it. Well, there's, they could find out how they did it. But you think we don't build buildings like that because we don't know how to do it anymore? I don't, I think we can. I think we, yeah, we can.

We can. We can. We just don't have. What's the White House ballroom look like? I don't think it's built yet. Yeah. As I'm saying. Anyway.

That's interesting. They'll be like, we built this in 10 years. You know, the Parthenon here in Nashville, pretty impressive. And I don't think they claim that took very long. And it's pretty impressive. No one knows how it was built. They don't know. Well, anyway, I ate food.

I hung out with friends. I saw those buildings. I went to museums and stuff. I don't know a lot about... I had a girlfriend who was a Hungarian. Hungarian stewardess. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

It was a good time for me. It was a good time for your boy. How old were you in 2005? 24. That's the peak of your life, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was awesome. And...

We're about the same age then, yeah. Yeah. And then I... And then I... We used to take us out every Friday. It was like a 40-person company. and they would take us out for beers and appetizers on Fridays. And I sat beside my boss.

Like, I just sat down and then he sat beside me, and I was like, this is not going to be good. It's going to be fine. In about 45 minutes. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get myself into trouble. Yeah, because at this point, you knew you were war profiteers. Yeah.

And then I told him that we're war profiteers. And then I moved back to Ottawa. And I delivered I lived with my parents and I delivered sandwiches to businessmen on their lunch break. Well, that's more relatable.

That's more relatable. And yeah. And then, yeah. And then I was like, but it was good because I wanted to be a comedian anyway. That's where I was like, I had a cool job,

an office job, and I hated it. And I was like, if I hate this, then I have to be a comedian. Yeah, yeah. Because what else are you doing? This is like my only shot to like this kind of a job.

Yeah, you squandered your opportunity to be a war profiting. Yes, thank you. You were living in Budapest. Could have made so much money. Because I was going to say, just thinking about the contrast, about that time, you know, when you were in Budapest, dating in Hungarian stewardess and eating and hanging with your friends, I was, you know, at Lowe's and Goose Creek, South Carolina selling pesticides. Yes. So you were really living the dream. Yeah.

I was in sixth grade. I found that job online. I couldn't afford to travel, but I wanted to travel. And I found the job that would take me there. And I was like, great. And it was like, I call them the blob countries. I was like Eastern European countries that on a map just look like a blob. It's like, why is that the border?

Yeah. Why is the next one over a complete different culture and language? And it's like, if you go there, you can just take a train at night, like a 12-hour train, wake up in a new country. Yeah. And being a completely different thing. So on weekends, I would just, like, go on a different country and stuff. I'd like...

Slovakia. I take, like, there's all these... Hungary has all these, you know, it's an old country. So there's a long weekend every two weeks for some massacre in the year of 1,200 or something. You know what I mean? And then you're like, sweet, I'm going to go to Austria and go snowboarding, you know, and, like, it was awesome. Maybe this is pretty enlightening for me, because maybe it's just the name, Buddha, but I always thought a Buddha pest is more Asian.

Well, it was. I think of monks. Okay. Because the Ottoman Empire, Turks, they were up there and they put in all these, first Romans did. It was a Roman city. But then the Turks ruled it. And they put in all these baths, like Turkish baths. Because there's these hot springs under the ground.

Oh, yeah. And they shoot up and Google, Google Budapest baths. Were you with Nate when he went to the Turkish baths? Look at that. You can play cards. Oh, yeah. You get little snacks. I bet American tourists are ruining that right now.

Just come and take up half the pool. Which are fat. Yeah. Bluetooth speakers. So nice. Wagon wheel is just going nonstop. It's like carnival cruise. Jelly roll kid rock.

Just pee everywhere. I only talk to God, but I need a favor. Yeah, man. Yeah, I would do stuff like that. You hung out in those baths? I hung on those baths. I hung on those baths. I played chess. I don't know.

I don't know how to really how to play chess, but I did it. And then you get little sandwiches, little beers. Oh, man. It's nice. What a drink. And then, yeah, man, they had, it was like, you know, I went to all these, like, music festivals. And there was, like, this, like, the rave that was on an abandoned ship on the Danube River that my friends would take me to. I was like, this is unbelievable.

Yeah. Yeah. And then jump cut to me delivering sandwiches in Ottawa. Yeah. Wow. Impressing time. Yeah, yes. It was dark time for your boy.

Yeah. And there's some really cool stuff in America. But the oldest stuff you're going to find in terms of like buildings that are still up and stuff is like 300 years old. You're lucky if you see something of 300 years old. You go to Europe and, yeah, this building's been around 1,000 years or whatever. Yeah. It's crazy.

It's crazy that they just, like, they kept it up and stuff. Like, I think, like, those bazaar, the Turks did that, you know, so. Mm-hmm. That's, I don't know, like 700 years old, 500 years old. Do you think, if you're given a map of the world. Yeah. And none of the country names on there. I can do.

You can get most of them? Africa's tough, but I can do probably a third of Africa. Wow. And I can do, I can definitely do all of Europe. I mean, my family's from Czechoslovakia. So I, I, I've been there. Really? How far back your family?

My mom was born there. Okay. She came when she was four. She's like technically a refugee. Technically, I'm first generation, which is hilarious. Mine's a little further back than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mom's from Evansville, Indiana.

Yeah. I've been there. Oh, yeah. That's crazy. You can fill out Asia? You think you had a good shot at doing Asia? I think so. is a little easier.

Vietnam. I think I know Laos. I know. But like actually Laos, I wouldn't. Like those kind of countries, I'm like, I don't know Lao. You think you do all? Cambodia is a little. All the states?

All the U.S. states? No. In the middle, I'm a little dicey. But I could do, I could do most. I could definitely do like at least 70, 80%. I've been to all of them except for Hawaii. You see, I always see things like, you know, what Jay Leno used to do?

Was it jaywalking he used to do? Where you ask people questions? Yeah. And they would ask people and be like, where's America on a map? And they point to like India and be like, I mean, people are that naive to stuff. It's tough.

But, you know, look at the tip of India, though. I mean, that could be Florida. That could be Texas. I always feel like, turn it a little bit, turn the map a little bit. Yeah.

Okay. Texas now, yeah. Have you lived anywhere other than any other countries you've lived in? What do you have to think about it. No, I mean, I stayed in Costa Rica for two months, but it doesn't really live. Yeah, I went, moved to Ottawa, delivered sandwiches, and then I saved $2,000 so I could move to Toronto and do comedy. And then my buddy called me from Costa Rica and was like, you should come here.

And I'm like, I don't have any money. I have $2,000. He's like, that's enough. I'm like, for two months, he's like, yeah, we sleep on the beach. We just had a tent, we slept on the beach. Wow. And then that lasted like two months. We went to Honduras and Nicaragua,

and we just took those like $13, like American school buses that they buy from it. So you go on this like school, they call chicken buses. And you're on like a school bus, an American school bus it says like, I don't know, Colorado school board on the side. And you're just in like Honduras with like a surfboard. Like one of the beach. holding a chicken. Yeah. If they can afford three rims, they'll buy three rims. And like, yeah. And then it was fun. And I don't know how to surf. And my friend knew how to surf. And it's like really like hard surfing there. And I got up the very last day, very last day of the trip. First and only time I've ever gotten up on a surfboard. And this, the wave took me right into a, into a river with a bunch of crocodiles. Oh, no.

Yeah. Wow. And then it might be like, they're like, don't go in there. There's crocodiles. I was like, great. And then I got up for the first time and it took me straight in there. And then I, and then the waves were coming and I couldn't get out. And I was stuck there for like 45 minutes.

And then my friends were like, where were you? I was like, crocodiles. It was just like exhausted. Did you see crocodiles in there? Yeah, but like over there. Yeah. That's enough. That's too close.

I'm from, I'm like grew up near a lake in Ottawa. Like, I don't know. Yeah, you got some geese. I got geese. You know, snapping turtles. That was, you know. I'll take a snapping turtle over a crocodile. Yeah.

Any day. Yeah. That's it. Yeah, that's the only place I've lived in, uh, lived in L.A., New York, Toronto, Budapest and Ottawa.

And Halifax. I went to college out there. That's near Maine. That's near Portland, Maine. Oh, yeah. Yeah. People do not understand the importance of sleep sometimes.

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I got sent to boot camp in Saskatchewan. I forgot about those two years. Boot camp. Yeah. Yeah. Do you talk about this in your act? Yeah, yeah, I got sent to, like, Saskatchewans, like, North of North Dakota. I got sent to a farming community of 300 in Wilco.

Cox, Saskatchewan. So you're working out there, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got caught drinking and I had to be the, the garbage man for the town in January. I had to wake up at 5 in the morning. It's like being on the moon. How old were you?

17. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was crazy. I've never been colder in my life. You were a year away from legal drinking in Canada. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, come on.

I don't believe. Believe. me, I said all this. He made all these arguments. In my hearing with the 23-year-old who ruled against me. Yeah. Yeah, it was nuts. Well, a lot of businesses I learned from research, you used geography to determine where to open locations. Waffle House, for example, there's a class, a seminar, the Waffle House Geography Seminar taught by Dr. Jerry Shannon, at the University of Georgia, uses Waffle House to explore community spaces in retail distribution.

It was even featured on Sports Center. Marty Smith and Ryan McGee did a piece on it. On Waffle House? On this Waffle House

class. Why was that on SportsC? I don't know, but it was. Probably a SEC channel. Okay.

Something like that. Didn't mention that. But Waffle House, they cluster around major suburban interchanges. They use a shoebox design for taxes,

meaning, you know how it's, it's not a square usually. It's a rectangle. Yeah. But the frontage is,

thinner the door. That's for tax purposes. Oh. To minimize furnish size to lower local land taxes. I like stuff like that. I like that too. Yeah. It's like those shotgun houses in Orleans. Yeah. Charleston has that too. For like French taxes in like

1750. Yeah. Charleston's like that too. These houses are built sideways so that you just see a little bit of the house but then they have these long front porches but they're on the side of the house. Because it's yeah, it was like they taxed you on how much space you took up on the road. This kind of surprised me. Waffle House often builds multiple locations within close proximity to each other.

So their business model is to dominate a local market to have locations, sometimes within walking distance of one another. Smart. I can think of, I can think of a few situations. Where were you just, Biloxi was it, where there were three on the same street? Yeah. Yeah. And they'll be on every exit on the interstate.

Yeah. I mean, every exit. Do you guys like Waffle House? I love it. I used to really like it. I feel like there's, uh, it's been a change. It's been a change in dusty. Yeah.

Changes Dusty or changing waffa? Well, there's definitely been a change in me. Yeah. But I also, uh, yeah. You're a theater guy now. Yeah. But I, no, I mean, I like the way the food tastes, but it never does me well now. I just don't feel.

Oh, yeah. I used to tear it up. Yeah, yeah. But you have all kinds of. That's nobody. That's nobody's fault. You have health problems. You have health problems.

Well, I have stomach problems. Yeah, it's part of your health. But health seems serious. Okay, that sounds like more than it. Stomach is connected to health. I'd say, yeah, it's a key player. Stomach is connected to the body. Have you been to a Waffle House?

I've been. Nate took me to my first Waffle House a few years ago, years ago. It's great. Just during the day, right? Just like a lunch? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Gentleman's lunch.

Gentleman's lunch. Yeah, you should go to a late-night Waffle House in Opelike, Alabama, if you want a real experience. I honestly, I know why you're saying that, but I would like to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it would be cool. Yeah. As long as I'm okay. Yeah, you'll be all right.

Yeah, you'll be out. Yeah. Wear my jean jacket. Yeah. Uh, Walgreens, drugstore. Call them all war profiteers. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I got stabbed. They were right to do it. Wall Greens builds They're always... You say Walgreens like you say Ottawa. Yeah. He's differentiating it from Walmart, right? From Waffle House.

Oh. Oh, I don't think you need to do that. There's a big dash in there that I don't... We got Waffle House and Wall Greens. I don't think you need to do that. All right, let's just move on. I want to hear about what I love Walgreens. They built on the corner.

They find an intersection and they always built on the corner. Yeah. Have two different entrances. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. That's smart. And Rite Aid. Rite would do the same thing, right?

I guess. They were always all corned. Only one entrance to the deodorant, though. It's tough to get a laugh on this podcast. It's tough, man. As most of you know, I love doing things myself. If something breaks, I'm going to try to fix it before calling someone. It's just a good confidence boost when you can fix your own dryer.

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For traffic reasons? I would think, yeah, so the airports, airplanes are not flying right over people. That's what I would think. That's not the question I asked. I asked if you guys ever thought about it. Okay. Yeah, I have thought about it. Yeah, yeah.

Right now, though, right? No, I think about it. I thought about it. I drive to a lot of airports. Like Denver and that airport's like two hours from. Well, I do think about it because I'm a horse there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're asking the wrong people that question.

We travel, we all travel all the time. What do you want out of it? The proper answer is yes or no. Okay. I'll do what you want us to do. Tell me. Yes. I just want to help.

Yes. Somebody help me. Please. All right. How about this? How about this one? Okay. This is just a fun fact.

From Stanford, Connecticut. I know Stanford, Connecticut, because Jim from the office went to the, uh-huh. Dundermanneville location, Stanford. If you go, drove north from Stanford, Connecticut, you would end up in New York State. If you drove south from Stanford, Connecticut, you would end up in New York State. If you drove west, you would end up in New York State. And if you drove east, you'd have to go through some water, but you would end up in New York

Wow. That's pretty wild. That is cool. That's really cool. What does that do with airports? We moved on. I moved on from airports because you guys were being jerks. We weren't being jerks.

You were basically right. You're right. Yeah. It's air pollution and planes fly over buildings. And land. I mean, these runways are so long that you need a ton of land, especially if you're going to expand. The airport where I went to college in Halifax, there's an airport that's way too far away from Halifax. And the reason why it's out there is because they have a lot of fog because it's by the water.

And so they put it inland and then they cut down all the trees and then the fog came because the trees were taking care of the fog. Wow. So now they just have a faraway airport with a bunch of fog. Where's this at? In Halifax. Can you pull up Stanford, Connecticut? Yeah. I'll look at Halifax first.

There it is. Stanford. Stanford's right down here. I just want to try to get an idea of. They're Stanford. Well, can you get rid of that? Yeah, there you go. I like how to sell all your safe spaces.

You might need... These are all the places that don't stand up. That doesn't really distinguish the states. Nice. Oh, it kind of does. I like that. That's a cool little... Yeah, it's fun to see where you've been, where you have it.

So if you head right, you're going to run into Long Island. Head left, you're in New York. Head north. Okay, all right. So the Long Island one, that one solves the mystery. Yeah, I couldn't understand. But, yeah. How that happened.

Yeah. Closer state to Africa? Hawaii. No. I know. Yeah. That's actually a good guess. Yeah, it is.

No, to Africa. Yeah, probably Hawaii. No. It's Maine. Yeah. Not Asia, Africa. Oh, yeah. Darn.

Boy, Graham is a world traveler. Yeah, that was dumb. I was in one of the big ones. Yeah, there's a whole, yeah, Hawaii. maybe the farthest one. Yeah. Listen, guys. I got ahead of my skis there.

Sorry. It depends on what map you. I was thinking of the Azores, guys. I was thinking of the Azores. Thanks to a lot of people moving out of California, Canada now has a higher population in California for the first time. Whoa.

What does? Canada. Wow. Used to be an interesting fact that California had more people than Canada, but that's not the case. Well, what's going on in California? Everybody's moving.

I don't know. I don't know either. Well, they're getting paid in California money, and then they can live elsewhere and work remotely. And not pay taxes. Take that, well, they pay taxes. Yeah, but they, exactly. Yeah.

Is this the shape of Canada that you accept? There's no way. that's not the true size of Canada. It's adjusted for how this map. Well, Canada is the second largest country. I know it's big, but it's elongated in a way that it's not. It looks like it's enormous. Did you know that there's a part of Canada that is the size of Florida

that is like further south than if you go sideways longitude, it's on the same longitude as California. And that's where one third of Canadians live. in that little tiny zone. Wow. I did not know that. Yeah, right by the Great Lakes. It's like as far south is California. So this is a map of the Mercator projection

versus the actual size of the country. So this Canada's actually about that big. Oh, I like that. The dark blue? Yeah, the dark blue. That's how actually big it is. Wow, everything's smaller. Everything's a lot. Russia.

Well, some are bigger. Where? Which one's bigger? Well, like some of the, like the Africa, some of them are bigger. Brazil looks like some of them are right and look at Russia right some of them are dead on yeah Russia's all Russia's way smaller look at Greenland yeah no I'm not scared I'm not scared of Russia anymore yeah yeah they're nothing they're nothing I said you'll link to this

Aaron but good good people yeah they're I like them yeah so we've talked about Pangia before oh yes are you familiar with Panjia yeah it's the old continent before it blew up up, allegedly. Yeah. Yeah. Blue up is funny. Separated.

The tectonic plates separated it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, a piece of Africa didn't make it. It's still underneath Alabama. Whoa. That's cool. Yeah. Well, how do they know that it's Africa if it's under Alabama?

Apparently, the soil samples is the same that fits Africa, but not Alabama. Magnetic readings from deep below the earth surface suggest that Florida and parts of the southeastern U.S. states comprise ancient rocks. from what is now Africa, which broke away from the landmass that is now North America 250 million years ago. Not solar samples.

I was wrong about that, but magnetic... Essentially, the ground. Also, there was a guy down there. Help, help. I'm stuck. So you can say you've been to Africa. Yeah.

That's true. You were born there. Yeah. That's crazy. The smallest country in the world? Vatican City. Correct. Oh, that's very good.

Very good. You've been there? Yes. Yeah. How'd you like it? I thought it was cool. Yeah. It was beautiful.

Have you been there? No. Never been to Europe. They said not to take pictures of the ceiling. Did you take them? Yeah. Bad boy comedy. I saw a dude.

I saw a TikTok of a guy at the Sistine Chapel brought a mirror to the Sistine Chapel. To look up women's dresses? No. No? No. That's what you say, though, if you get caught. No, it's for dress. It's less of a crime.

What was the purpose? You can tilt the mirror in such a way that it's way easier to take pictures, like selfies with the ceiling. If you tilt the mirror at an angle, then you can just take a picture with you at it, and you can see the whole... It was interesting. It was interesting to see.

I don't know if a lot of people have done that before, but he did it. I just got yelled at. And I was like, well. In Italian? Yeah, I got some dirty looks for, they have these very funny looking guards. The Swiss guard.

Yeah, right. And they haven't, they haven't updated their outfits. No. The 1700s. They look, they look absurd. They look absurd.

Like, like, like, uh, clowns. And then they got mad at you and they blamed Americans. They go, I did it too. Americans. And you didn't go, no, no, no, I'm Canadian. Yeah, I didn't do that. Talk about these guys?

Yeah. These guys? Yeah, yeah. The gestures? Yeah, they look like clowns. And then they look like clowns. And then they, give you like a, like they're trying to intimidate you.

I'm like, come on, man. It looks like Ronald McDonald. That's who's on the playing card, the Joker. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The only state, U.S. state that's triply landlocked. Anybody know? Tripoli landlocked.

Explain triply landlocked. Meaning you got to go through three different states to get to water. Nebraska. Yeah, I'm going Kansas. Here, guess. Utah. All great. guesses, but the answer is Nebraska.

All right. That's what I said. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yep, yep. Just for the record, though, because the way he said it made it sound like none of us got it right. But I'm saying I was close. You were close, yeah.

Okay, later we do that. And Dusty is the winner. Dusty's the smartest. There you go. Well, like I do with my daughter. But the way you said it, now you go, all good guesses, but the answer is Nebraska. But it is a good guess if you get it right. Yeah.

You're right. Yeah. You're right. Now, have you ever been to Samoa? No. American Samoa? Well, I was going to get there. So there's... There's Samoa and then there's American Samoa.

And there's side- Good guess. Another good guess. They're side-by-side. Samoa and American-Samoa. But the international date line goes right through the middle. So they're in different days of the week. Oh, wow.

So you could go celebrate New Year's in Samoa and then go back and do it, America, Samoa. Does that make sense? Is American Samoa part of America? Yeah. Like they, it's not a state, but, yeah. It's like Puerto Rico.

A territory. Puerto Rico or Guam. That's why, like, you see a lot of, like, Virgin Islands. In, like, the NFL, those big dudes with long, last names. They're usually from America and Samoa. And they're big people. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the rock. He's from, you know, similar, right? Mm-hmm. Or Americans in a... American. Yeah.

Time zones. Russia has 11 time zones. So in one part of the country, when you're eating dinner, the other part of the country is just getting up to eat breakfast. But China has only one time zone. So there, it's really messed up. You ever into China? Well, yeah, the communism makes it, you know, they're like,

no, we're not doing it. We're not doing it. Wait, should they have more time zones, like geographically? And they just choose to have one? Yeah, they choose to have one. Okay. Yeah, it's a big country. Don't you think it makes sense to all be on the same time zone?

It would make things much easier. Just, yeah, just China has just 2 p.m. means something different for something else, and that's fine. You would just start to understand 2 p.m. means nighttime. Means nighttime. I don't like daylight savings time changes, but time zones I'm not, I'm not against. I think time zones make sense. Daily savings got to go. I think that's one thing.

We can all get on board about. But I think we got to keep daylight savings in the sense of, let's keep more daylight in the afternoon. Yes. But the good one. But no more change. No one knows which one it is, but the good one. Yes. You want more of the good one.

You want to keep daylight savings. Yes. But no longer change. Let me try to steal me on the other side. Okay. Daylight savings time, it improves safety, boosts the economy, and promotes outdoor leisure activities. Can you back? How?

By increasing light during high activity evening hours, it reduces traffic accidents, lowers crime rates, and supports the retail and hospitality. That's what I'm saying. So it's an economic. So you're saying in the winter, there's more daylight because you move it back. What I'm saying is keep it daylight. Because daylight savings time means that you get the extra hour in the summer or whatever. Yeah. But so I'm saying when it comes wintertime, let's not fall back.

Yes. Let's just keep it at that. Daylight savings time. Oh, okay. But you're saying that by falling back, it helps there be more daylight during business hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And that boosts the economy.

In the mornings. I just think if you're up in the morning to go to work, it doesn't matter if it's daylight. Then it's daylight later in the day, right? Instead of getting dark at 3.30 and afternoon. We're all one of the same thing. Because the darkness, well, the darkness is always around me, But the darkness starts or is...

We just want the spring forward and never fall back. Yeah. We want more light during business hours. That's what we want. More light during business hours. I'm saying just spring forward and never fall back. So just spring forward once or keep doing it every year? No, just one time.

Okay, okay. Now in the wintertime, play devil's advocate, because there is less sunlight, no matter... That's what I'm saying, dark until 9 p.m. 9 a.m. anyway. So I don't think it helps. Okay. Look, is that a fact? Fair argument. Is that a fact or something?

There's an argument. What are you talking about? The thing I just read. That's what that's what proponents of daylight saving time will say. I have no idea if they're rooted in any kind of statistical reality. People who want to keep standard time. I think they say, you know, kids are, get on school buses. If it's dark until 9 a.m., that's just dangerous for. Yeah. for things like that. A 2020 poll found that 40% of Americans wanted to stay in standard time all year. 31% had preferred to stay in daylight savings time all year. And then 28% was like, we'll just keep it the way it is. I think that 28 is pretty split.

72% of the country wants to be gone with change in the time. But I think that the whole terminology is so confusing that when they polled people, People were like, yeah, yeah, we want to get rid of daylight savings time. And what they meant was spring forward and never fall back. 30% of people wanted that conversation to be over. They're 70 understood. Yeah, I'm confused myself. Yeah.

All right. This scenario was submitted by Adrian Kulp from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. You wake up in Mongolia. Oh, no. You know who you are. You know everything about yourself. Yes. You just don't know how you got to Mongolia.

You don't have a phone. What's your first move? Get a, get a bald eagle. All right. A falcon. Get a falcon. They're big falconers. Have you been to Mongolia?

No, I just read a book on Gagas Khan. And they're big on falcons. How are you going to get a falcon? Dusty? I just think, You just hold your hand up. They'll come eventually. Leave me, Falcon.

Leave me back to Ottawa. Depending on the time of my life, you know, if I'm married with a family, then I got to, you know, I got to get home. But if I'm 2005, Graham K, I go, let's just make a life for myself here in Monty. But what are you, but you're not answering the question, which is what do you do for that day? You have no phone, you don't speak the language, you're dropped in this country you know nothing about. What do you do? Well, I try and find somebody.

Yeah. Can you find a yurt? Yeah. Let's say in this scenario, you are trying to get home. Yeah. You want to get home your family. Well, I don't know where Mongo is, but. Let's see where it's out.

Not Tennessee. West of China, it's in between Russia and China. Okay. And they're interesting-looking people because they look half Russian and half-Jusian and half-Tenis. Chinese. Oh, yeah, okay. I've watched some videos on Mongolia then. Yeah. So, it's true. It's very cold there. So yeah, I think if it's wintertime, I think you're just, you're going to be in a mess. But summertime, I think, you know, you got to try to find a nice looking old lady and speak to her. Okay, yeah. In Ulaan, Batar? I think that's your best hope, find a nice looking old lady. Just go to that.

I don't mean like attractive, but she looks nice. She looks friendly. It looks friendly. Go to the... A hot older woman. You go to find a hot old lady. Go to the lobby of that building. Ask for the nearest falconer.

That building looks terrified. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't... Well, yeah, it stinks. You type in Mongolia and that's the first picture that pops up. Yeah, that's not right. Would you try to... It's like you type in America and it's just...

I'm trying to think of a common word you can even write out that they would understand. But, man, it'd be tough. I don't know what I would do. I don't know. I think you get you some pretty good meat pretty quick and then they get you that like... It's got to be a buffet. Mongolian buffet? You just go eat.

I don't know how I got here, but I'm hungry. Let's go to the buffet. Then we'll work this out. I would never have guessed how to say hello in Mongolian. What is it? It is. Call ya. Yeah.

They don't even offer a pronunciation on Google. No. He doesn't know. Hello. Oh, that's English. Let's get clod on this. They don't have audio for... It's going to make it tough one.

Yeah. Saibainai. Now hear this video if they'll let you. Yeah, saying hello. Easy and practical ways. I was kind of hoping this video is blocked. Yeah. It's not...

Hello. My name is Hishke. I understand it. Sounds like English. Yeah. In Mongolian language, there are three common ways to say hello. Those are very basic. it can be used either formal or informal situations.

Okay. So let's get started. Sure, please. The first one is San Banu. I seem to like a lot. San Banu. How are you? San Banu.

San Banu. You just walk around saying that. San Banu. San Banu. San Banu. Sub Dusty does his hand. San Banu. How are you?

It's just reminded me when I was in Hungary, see ya means goodbye and hello, hello means goodbye and seea means hello. Wow. It's like, how did that happen? It's the opposite in English. We're walking to see ya. And then I go, hello and walk away. It's like, what's going on here? They got to switch that out. Yeah. Wow. All right. So you find a hot old lady and then you say what, Dusty? Sambano. And you're off to a great start. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, you go, help. Yeah. Help. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Help. And hopefully they figured that out. Yeah. And they take you somewhere. Yeah. There's where we're having a good time in Mongolian. So you can just read that.

Yeah. It's a tough. Jildo Jibina. That is a tough one. Well, you got to do the hand. Yeah. I think that's international. This is this?

This is this? Is this anything? Do you do, by now. That is, they, they, not doing any favors for you there,

is it? No, there's a lot of, what would you do, Aaron? We are having fun. I'd probably just jump off a cliff or something. All right,

that's a different approach. Yeah. I was going to have steak with new friends. Yeah. You jump off a clip. I'm never getting home. Newfoundland. Is that how you say it?

Newfoundland. Any way you want. I've heard people say Newfoundland. Yeah. Newfoundland. Newfoundland. They go, Newfoundland, Labrador. They're all a bunch of Irish people that just got stuck there.

And then they didn't hear anyone else speak until they invented radio. So they have like Irish accents. And when Irish people hear them, they go like, is that from Cork, but they're all from Cork, but they never heard. You, like, you, we don't sound like we're from England because we've heard other things. They didn't hear anything for like 200 years. Wow. And they weren't part of Canada until 1949.

And they invaded. They fought World War II as Newfoundland. Really? It's just their own country? Yeah. You know, like, we'll go get him by us. On which side? There's like 40 guys.

You know, we have some. We have some great fans for. Newfoundland. David and Melanie Kavanaugh. They've been on the cruise. They're big fans. Yeah. They're very nice people.

Yeah, they're the nicest people in the world. Did you meet them? David and Melanie Kavanaugh? Maybe. On the cruise? I'm not sure. I hope if I did, it was a pleasure meeting you. I love Newfoundlanders.

They're the best. They brought me. Great comedy crowds. There's a candy bar called having a... Good guy. No, it's like having a good. It's like something. They wrote having on there and it's like,

a good time bar or something like that. We're having a time. Something like that. Having a time. Newfoundland chocolate cup. Yeah. Having a time. Yeah.

I've seen those. Yeah, they've given me some of those. They brought a couple of those to me. Smooth milk chocolate. They're very good. Creamy caramel and Newfoundland. I really want to go to Newfoundland. You'd like it.

Going to summer though. Apparently they have a time zone that's 30 minutes ahead. Yeah. And so the 5 o'clock somewhere joke that Desy Tales is really off. People really got mad at me. I have a joke where it says he says, It's only half past 12, but I don't care. It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

And I'm like, that's not true. You know, it may be 5 o'clock somewhere. It may be 5.30 somewhere. But you don't lose a half hour just because we change time zones. That was a great joke. I told it all around the country. People loved it. They laughed and laughed and laughed.

I mean, for years they laughed at it. For years, they laughed at it. Put it on the Internet and people just flood my comments with Newfoundland telling me that there's a half hour time zone. And what an idiot I am. And helped the algorithm, though. Yeah, it did. And you were like, this is getting, oh, me nerves. You know, right?

You need to be watching for that joke, folks. You know, man, I don't think it's Newfoundland people doing it. I don't think that's just dorks. Yeah. They're not watching you. Yeah, regular dorks. Probably Canadian dorks. Yeah.

So Newfoundland, that's kind of like your Cajun people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very proud people, I'm told. Very proud people. If they... Cajian people are proud.

I dated a Newfoundlander. You're not supposed to say Newfee. And they say it's... a slur, but I was dating one and her dad wouldn't say he's Canadian. Wow. He'd always say I'm from Newfoundland. And when he's traveling, like in Europe, he goes like, I'm from Newfoundland. I'm from Newfoundland.

I love that. Are people trying to secede from Canada? I think that they would like to, but then they realized they'd have no money. And then like Portugal would just take them over or something like that. When I was in Alberta, there's a lot of chatter about them trying to secede. Oh, yeah. And then... It's like Texas.

I don't feel like it's going to happen. I wish Alberta would join the country. I like, they're real beef. The U.S. Yeah. They're very American. They're real beef. Yeah, there's not one Prius out there.

No, no, no. Yeah. I love that. I wish we could, yeah, we could just scoot right all up in there, go from Montana right into Alberta. Just lump it into Montana. Yeah. Yeah. Yep, they're going to.

They'd love it. They're going to, they're going to be like, well, we've got to pay for health care. But they're going to love it. They're going to want them to else. Yeah, I mean, you'll get over that. You figure it. You figure it out. It falls out.

Alaska is the country's westernmost and easternmost state. I don't get how it's the westernmost over Hawaii. Easternmost because of the islands? Yeah. That are near Russia? Yes. Because it goes way farther west than Hawaii. One of those islands?

So here's Hawaii down there. Oh, wow. And then, yeah, Alaska goes all the way out to here. Yeah. That's nice. There you go. What is that? Atu Station, Alaska.

That's America, buddy. Yeah. Land of the Free. Love that. U.S. Army. The Eastern Hemisphere. Guess what? You guys bought it from Canada for like $11.

We were like, that's fine. We just sold you all of Alaska. Yeah. Yeah. What's going on here? What about the peace monument? I should say. Look at that.

It looks like a little COVID virus. That looks like the star from Captain Marvel. Yeah. Do you know there's an island in Alaska that, the America claim actually this might be Canada might be in Antarctica but it's Russia and either America or Canada

and one country claims it the other country claims it and then the armies just go once a year to plant a flag and they time it so they don't have to meet each other and then the the soldiers don't care so the Russians leave vodka for the Canadians and the Canadians leave whiskey for the Russians

Oh that's awesome yeah wait where is that I don't know up there Did you say Alaska was the eastern most, too? Yeah, because those islands go all the way into the eastern hemisphere. Oh, okay. Yeah, see, this is... That's near like Asia, right?

Yeah, yeah. Downtown Asia, right there. Downtown Asia. Right there. So we're in the eastern hemisphere right here. Isn't that crazy? Right, it's crazy. Wow.

The most remote area on Earth, it's called the Oceanic Pole of... inaccessibility. It's called Point Nemo. It's the farthest place from land on Earth, located in the South Pacific Ocean, 1,70 miles from the nearest land. Have people been there? They have, but when the International Space Station flies over it, they're the closest people to it. Oh, wow. That's pretty wild. Wow. And this is where spacecraft crash when they're bringing go back to Earth because it's the most remote place on Earth. So it's called the spacecraft cemetery because that's when satellites and the mirror, Russian mirror, that's where it crashes.

And that's where the International Space Station will crash in 2031 when they decommission it. I'd like to go out there. It's pretty wild, huh? To space station? Anywhere. Oh, yeah. That's like to travel. Except Mongolia. Yeah, except Mongolia. Kill yourself immediately. Hey, anywhere they speak English, I'm so down. Where's the most remote place you've been? That's a good question.

I mean, probably like Eastern Turkey. That's like close to Iraq. Yeah. Like I went there. That was art. And like Bulgaria is like a, you know, that's like a out there kind of place. But most remote without people is probably like probably where I got sent to boot camp in Saskatchewa. Like if you look at like a satellite, there's not that many people around there.

I just typed of Eastern Turkey. It took me to a turkey restaurant in Mount Juliet, Tennessee. It's not what I've been. Based on previous searches. Come on, Brian. Come on. Yeah, Turkey. Oh, Turkey spelled that way?

Yeah. I think they changed that. That's a Mandela effect. Are you serious? It's never been spelled? I don't think so. T, then you with the two dots? They used to spell it like the food, like the animal.

Well, they do in English. That's just not an English. Oh. But I thought like all the other... They changed it. I think they changed it. It looked like all the other countries were spelled. Yeah.

It's like a Deutschland thing. I don't know. I don't know why it's coming up that way, guys. I'm sorry. I don't run. Google. Yeah, when I got fired from my job, I took the Orient Express train all the way down to Turkey. And then I ran out of money and I had to come home.

Wow. Yeah. Have you ever felt unsafe? Right now. No, I'm kidding. Yeah, one time I was in, I was in, I took the overnight train. like from like Budapest to I don't know where Chicago, Slovakia.

I were going to Slovakia. And they were like, don't take the overnight train. There's gypsies. I was like, there's no such thing as gypsies. Yeah, you thought they were like genie? Yeah, yeah. What's a gypsy? And then it's like you, anyway, they like,

there's these dudes that get on the train. I don't know why they let them on. They probably pay the conductor or whatever. Pay them off. And then they like shine their flashlight in. and they like steal your stuff when you're asleep in like your car but I'm tall enough for my my toes touch the door when they slid it open and I got up and then he looked at me like that and I went like that and he was like yeah it's not worth it and then he went wow so they tried to

get get in there yeah he tried they got I got in and then they tried to take my stuff and then that was like that's I don't know if I'd be able to go back to sleep after that I didn't okay yeah no there was gypsies out there yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah, and then one time in, like, Nicaragua, we were on a place. We were at a beach where we should not have been. We were, like, being pretty dumb. And we, they were trying to, some guy was trying to lure us to a party, and I'm pretty sure he was trying to kill us and take our money.

So we didn't go to the party. That's good. Yeah, that's good. We didn't go. But yeah, that's it. I'd say for me, it was Mexico when we got off the boat, walking that little, where they tried. to get you to buy souvenirs.

And you were swindled. You were into buying. A lot of pressure. You bought two fridge magnets. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

I didn't know the ratio, the pesos. Yeah. But I felt pressure. Yeah. I got back on the boat. Yeah. That's why you don't get off. Yeah.

I got swindled. I don't know if a swindle, but a dude came out and he had a little sombrero that he painted the Atlanta Braves logo on. In Mexico? In Mexico. I saw those. Yeah. I bought one.

Yeah. Dustin Nickerson bought a Seattle Seahawks one. Yeah, I mean, he got to. Nothing's more Mexico than Seattle. Well, Atlanta, too. Lava's pretty different. Yeah. All right, well, that's it.

Let's wrap it out. We cover the whole world. We did. That was fun. What's one place you want to go? You've never been, Graham. Vietnam or Thailand. Okay.

It looks really pretty. Yeah. It looks very affordable. Mm-hmm. I feel like once you get over there, you can stay for a long time, I'm not spend a lot of money. In Thailand, I think it's really good, like, farming and gardening.

The food looks good. Yeah. Yeah. Food looks really good. I think there's a bit of a, what is it, a stigma about guys wanting to go to Thailand. Yeah. You're going to want to go with your wife. Yeah.

Yeah. You're going to want to go with your wife. Yeah. You just don't want to just walk around alone. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. But I like that.

You know what? I'd like to go. And I'm never going to do it because I even Googled trying to do it. And they're like, don't do it. But I'd love to go to like rural China, you know, like out of the city and just really just kind of like hang out in like the country. What's it? Out of what city? Just.

Yeah. He said the city like there's one. Yeah. There's like. Well, it's like one of those countries that's like, well, this city that you've never heard of has. 10 million people. Yeah. Yeah.

It's insane. But let's just take street view and just put it like out in like, like, you know. Like, look at that. I bet you they're a lot more similar because you grew up in Alabama. Yeah. I bet you they're a lot more similar to you than they are to me. See, that's what I grew up in a city. I think, too, I would love to go to the countryside in China and just kind of hang out with some people.

I bet there's dudes having fun with a tractor, souping it up, ripping around. Do you mean in like Tibet, like this area, like out of here? Yeah. Let's just see what's going on out there. I mean, I looked up some stuff. I mean, Japan had more options. And it's a smaller place, obviously, but they had more options for, you know, off the beaten path.

Okay. But they were like, they were basically like, you know, the government could just keep you from leaving if they want to. And also a lot of, there's not, Google Maps is not as good in rural China as it's going to be in the United States. I think the government would let you hang as long as you didn't like ask too many questions. Yeah. Report.

Yeah. I just want, my brother. They want your tourist money. My brother-in-law, you know, my wife's brother lives in Beijing. He teaches in Beijing. But that's a huge city. Yeah. I want to go to the countryside.

What about New Zealand? New Zealand would be great too. I mean. China, they used to really want like Westerners, like white people. over there, start the businesses and stuff. And they're like the early 2000s era when they were like really booming. And now that they're their own like superpower, all the people that are still left over there, they'll be hanging out on a corner having a cigarette.

I've heard this from guys, people who live over there. And they'll come out with like a truck and they'll cut a piece of your hair. And then they'll sample it and see if you've done drugs and if you have you're in jail because they want you out. Wow. Yeah. And they put you in. Yeah.

Yeah. That stuff is terrifying. I was drinking too much during the time China wanted me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just think that would be fun. But yeah, I mean, obviously, the government of China is very scary. All right. Well, uh...

Not ending on that is so funny. That is it. That's one of our best endings ever, actually. Yeah, I like it. I like it. We'll pitch some shows coming up. I've been pitching these forever. Party people are sick of hearing about them,

but I'll be in now I am. Denver, Greeley, and two nights in Casper, Wyoming at the end of May. Nice. Aaron Weber, I am going to be in Fort Lauderdale, Florida at the Fort Lauderdale Improv. You used to be the Dania Beach Improv. Do you know, they changed it to Fort Lauderdale. I didn't know that. I think it's the same place. I may be going there.

They just recalled it. They called it the Fort Lauderdale Improves. I'm going to be there May 15th and 16th. Jay Flake was going to be with me, Nate Land alum, who you might remember. He'll be there. So come see me in Fort Lauderdale. Nice. Thank you. I'm going to be taking a little more time off in May, just kind of hang out, be with the family. So I got some June dates. June 5th and 6th. I'm in Irvine, California at the improv.

The 19th, 20th, and 21st of June. I'm at the mothership in Austin, Texas. And then June 27th, I'm at Lake Charles, Louisiana at a casino. So come see me there. Awesome. June 5th and 6th, I'm going to be at Yuck Yucks in my hometown of Ottawa. All right. Yeah. Come support your boy.

I'm your boy. Please believe me. And I'm also going to be at the comics trip in Edmonton, Alberta, July 30th to August 1st. Oh, and another, can I do one more? Yes. This is one. Do as many as you want. These are all door deals, so I need people to come out.

Little Mountain Gallery in Vancouver, BC, Friday, September 4th, and September 5th. Little Mountain Gallery, Vancouver, Graham K, September 4 or 5, thanks. And check out the special out right now on YouTube. Pete and me. Pete and me on the Nate Land on the YouTube channel you're watching right now. It's great. Flip it over. Check it out.

Thanks, guys. Go check it out. Appreciate it. Good me. Good job, Graham. All right. Good seeing you. All right.

We're having a good time. Thanks, guys.