The Nateland Podcast - #14 Animals

Episode Date: September 30, 2020

This episode, we discuss all things animals. We'll discuss our childhood pets, favorite zoos, interesting animal facts, and how to pronounce "penguin."    Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]

what's up everybody it's nate bargetzi the nate land podcast and if you are watching this video dead. I thought of that joke a while ago. This is an episode that we are recording just as kind of a backup episode. Honestly, in case Aaron dies or Brian dies or COVID or other reasons, maybe you guys get sick. I assume I'll always be

here. Healthy as a horse. But if you die, the podcast stops. We don't keep going until you die. This episode gets aired over and over again. Yeah. And it never gets past this episode. And it's me. Maybe we're imposed me.

And so then whatever you are talking about, I'm always talking about just whatever's on this episode. Okay. Like a hologram. So we recorded this episode. You notice there's no comments at the top of it because we had none and uh we don't know when this episode will come out but it will be in there for in case there's a filler i guess then we put something in you know get to the bottom of it aaron weber brian bates uh both are local comedians stand up to me that's so mean i know i didn't mean to be

like that i was kind of thinking of a funny joke but then i said that is very funny to say very local local comics you can see them all over nashville uh sometimes other counties and always just a drive away from just a hot uh yeah so all right so uh this episode we're gonna uh start with uh the joke that we we pulled to kind of get us started to push us in the right direction is uh my story from the cape fear serpentarium uh it was on netflix and uh the stand-up so here it is they have a thing there called Cape Fear Serpentarium. And it's just a guy's house. And he has a bunch of snakes, lizards, and a crocodile just in his house.

He has the world record for being bitten by a viper snake. It's seven times. Which is like, it's a record no one is trying to get. It's not. It's so many times. He was bitten three times and then four more times after that. That's how many times he was bitten.

Three's a ton. And then four more afters is just too many. But I was like, I gotta go see this. This is gonna be amazing. So I go, I walk over, I walk in. Right when you walk in, he's got a lobby set up. And in the lobby, he has two parrots and then a bunch of anti-government posters.

That's like a real, he just has those things. It's like two parrots and like a lot of stuff on chemtrails. You know, he's basically just like, this is what I would love to talk to you about. And you're like, I just want to see some snakes. And he's like, all right, but maybe later, can I corner you and talk to you about it? And you're like, I don't know, let's see how the snakes go.

So I went and I paid. It was $9, obviously cash only in a place like that. And so I give him my $9. I go up. First snake I see is a gaboon viper. It's a crazy venomous snake. And there's a story written out about how venomous it is. And the story was that these two kids broke into the Washington National Zoo in the early 1980s to steal a Gaboon Viper for whatever reason. So they get it,

they put it in a trash bag. When they're walking out, they have the trash bag over their shoulders if they forgot what they just did. The snake bites through the trash bag because it's a 1980s trash. It's not like a glad one now, you know. This was like when trash bags were not doing good. So it bit the kid. The kid went into a coma for four days. And then it was like, that's all we know. We don't know what happened. And you're like, that's the whole reason I'm even reading this.

To see what... Did he die? Is he stronger? Are you him? Like, what's the rest of the story? So if you ever go, and you should go, if you ever go, 3 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, he feeds these things. So I, like, looked at my watch. It was, like, 3 p.m. I was like, all right, we'll go watch these things eat. So the first snake they go to feed, it's a black mob.

It's another crazy venomous snake that should not be in America outside of a zoo, especially not at a guy's house that hates America. So we're like, all right, we got to go see this. So we get down there. He puts a chicken wired fence around him. So if a snake gets out, he'll just get on that fence pretty quick. The fence has holes in it that I would describe as a little bit bigger than a black mamba. has holes in it that I would describe as a little bit bigger than a black mamba. And I mean, we're leaning on it. We're getting kids up against it. We're like, no, you get up here. Their kids' faces are against it. So we all stand around. He's a bucket of dead

mice. He grabs a mouse. He throws it in there. He eats it. We all cheer, and then we move on. Next one we go to is 12-foot anaconda. This snake is huge. Props open like the glass cage with a 2x4. That's how big it is. Props have no chicken-wired fence. It's non-venomous. Worst-case scenario, we're all going to wrestle this snake.

So we're all standing there around. He gets his bucket back out, but this time it's got dead rabbits in it. And they're the biggest rabbits I've ever seen. I would have paid $9 to see what that rabbit's life was like, you know, just to see that rabbit drive up that day. He gets these giant, like, two-handed tongs. They look like they're for this. So he grabs a rabbit.

He kind of steps back. He's going to make the snake come out and get it, like he's hunting. So it's the rabbit, it's him, children, and then us. I mean, he's the only employee there. So we're staying there. Luckily, the snake comes out. He gets the rabbit. He constricts it. It falls to the ground. He lifts it. He puts it back in. He goes, well, Easter Bunny's dead. Makes that joke for the kids. And we waited for him to say he was joking. He did not. Yeah, he stared at the kids harder, almost to assure it.

That's what it is. Then he goes, all right, you have permission to touch the snake. No one's asking. We're walking away. No one was like, I bet this is when we can pet him. They're leaving. And he makes the kids pet him. Most don't want to touch the snake. Most are petting the rabbit he was eating.

It was like the 30s. There's no rules in this place. It's like riding a ski lift. You ever been on a ski lift and halfway up you're like, hey, my bar didn't lock. Should it have locked? I don't do this ever. So the last one is the crocodile. We go to the crocodile.

It's a 10-foot crocodile. This crocodile has been staring out at his cage at everybody. Like, he's trying to remember you for supporting this guy. Like, he's like, I'll find you one day. I mean, if he was in here right now with a hat on, I wouldn't be surprised. That's how nervous I'll find you one day. I mean, if he was in here right now with a hat on, I wouldn't be surprised. That's how nervous I am when I go out. So we all stand around. Crocodile's there.

He unlocks the door. Door's unlocked. He gets his rabbit bucket. And he grabs the rabbit. And he's going to just open the door and, like, throw it in there and eat it. Watch. He grabs the rabbit. He gets it right here.

The crocodile sees the rabbit and comes forward, hitting the door, which is unlocked and, we learn, also broken. Hits the door. The crocodile's momentum just takes him out into the carpet. With us, the kids. There's a 10-foot crocodile just on the floor. So everybody just starts losing it.

It's like a Godzilla movie. People are just running. Everybody's crying. People are crying real hard. Like, just bawling. Everybody's dead behind you. You just assume it. You don't even look. Some lady was like, my husband. I was like, your husband's gone, lady. He's gone. We shouldn't be here. There's so many signs that say we shouldn't be here. And we just leave because the cobra was next. She's like, I don't know if the cobra's in a cage. Who knows where this cobra's at? He might have been watching this with us. This is a real story.

And here's my proof. I have proof to this story. Is there's a TripAdvisor review from that day. It's not my review. I'm not a review guy. But someone reviewed it. And you can look at it. Go to TripAdvisor,

type in Wilmington, North Carolina, Cape Fear Serpentarium. When you get there, go to the reviews. They have four stars to one stars. If you want to see what I'm talking about, I would start at the one stars. They're all pretty fun to read, though. You know, four stars love it. They think the place is great.

Three and two stars, they're usually pretty hung up on the propaganda in the lobby. They can't get past that. And then just go to the one star that says, Crocodile got out of the cage. It's the best one star review I've ever heard in my life. Like, just the most, oh, did that poster hurt your feelings? Did a crocodile get out when you were there? Because he got out with us, and we didn't think he should have been out with us so one star all right there it is uh i'll tell you what i

looked back at that and i looked like i was storing up for the winter i mean my face and my stomach sticks out so far i'm not fake it looks like i'm like a healthy bear going into hibernation like you i'm good you good for the winter nate i'm good i'm good no i'll be fine i'm fine i feel real i had a great summer i feel like i had a great summer much different now dude i mean i was like i don't want to go back uh did you feel my stomach still sticks out but i mean even that we uh watched the other ones in the past of these, like I had lots of night shows, man. You just see these videos.

My stomach just, it sticks out farther than you think. You know? Button down shirts are brutal. Yeah. But what's the alternative? Can't tuck anything in. And let me tell you, I love tucking stuff in. Really?

I would tuck everything in if I could. Why? I'm a big fan. I think it looks nice. I like seeing the belt. I like a belt. I tuck everything in. I would love to tuck everything.

I love golfing when you tuck your shirt in. I'm not saying I don't like some blues. I tucked in one thing on a tonight show. And I have a, I wore a sports jacket and i got a tucked in shirt and i would say i look like a guy that told you i had a boat and you're like oh yeah i'll come see it and i didn't expect you to say you'd want to see it and then i walk you down to the dock going it's right over you sure you want to go keep going and you're like yeah why not you know and i don't

have a boat but yeah i i tucked my shirt in there. But yeah, I would tuck in. I would love, I mean, honestly, that opens my shirt wearing abilities up. What does? Tucking a shirt in. To me. If you can tuck in. If you can tuck in.

The platform, I mean, there's a lot more stuff open to me. I don't feel you're as like, when you drape, I think untucked, it gets very drapey. And then it just kind of shows everything. Sometimes you got to drape, dude. I know, but sometimes you tuck in and you feel a little bunched and you feel just a little more compact, protected. Yeah. I would always try to find, I mean, that's why I wore jackets on a lot of stuff. I wear jackets now. I think jackets look compact, protected. I would always try to find... I mean, that's why I wore jackets on a lot of stuff.

I wear jackets now. I think jackets look good, though, on stage. I would love a suit. You would be a suit guy? I would. I like a uniform. Yeah. And I like not thinking.

I try to get everything down to not thinking. So when I go on the road, i would want everything to be put you know every everything like i don't have to worry about it and i i would love to wear a suit especially start doing theaters and just feels like a suit i don't think maybe where i'm at now does it feel like these theaters but if i get to some your perform at t-pack more and these yeah 3 000 seat places i if that fits for a suit very well. And people dress up to those shows. And people dress up to the shows now.

Some of those theaters we play, they're super older. I remember you telling me this on the road. What was that documentary about Jay-Z? Oh, Dr. Dre? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wearing the same clothes. Dr. Dre, yeah. You said Dr. Dre wears the same clothes. dre yeah you said dr dre wears the same clothes

i want to get to that i that's why he wears the black on black white sneakers never never spends any brain power on what he's going to wear and not that i spend a ton i mean i wear golf stuff every day but on shows i have a i have somewhat a. I wear the same shoes, maybe one to two different pairs of jeans, a jacket, and then the shirt, a T-shirt underneath it. Occasionally, I can maybe mix the jacket up. You do get tired of it. Yeah. You feel like this show feels like I wear a hoodie on it.

You're like, this town feels like I could wear a hoodie. This show feels like it kind wear a hoodie. This show feels like I could wear it. It kind of just fits. Yeah. But what I've wore on specials, I've liked. I like sneakers. I could see wearing. But you start tucking stuff in, you just look a little older.

And that's the only thing. Like, Mulaney pulls it off, but it just fits with what he does. Yes. But what we wear as comics is a big deal. I think comics can dress too far down. But I think other, you know, I think you got to either look cool. You want to be cool looking or you want, you know. I'm in the phase now you kind of want to be cool looking.

But you get like, I turned 50. Hello, suit is coming. I also think suit never matched my act. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Like a millennia, it feels like it's more it fits what he's doing. Yeah. Yeah.

And my act is, I'm dumb. But somebody, yeah, somebody commented, Nate, what happened to you? You used to dress like a bomb and now you dress so stylish. They want to know the story behind it. Well, now it's – well, you just start doing more things. Yeah. And before when you're first starting, you're doing stuff that you're wearing a hoodie on stage, like then hoodies.

Everybody wears a hoodie now and I still wear a hoodie, especially I go to Zany's here in Nashville. Like you just wear a hoodie, do some clubs. Just because you feel that now, because now I'm doing theater. So you're now looking at like, well, when I go to these comedy clubs, it's I'm trying to do, I'm doing a, I'm trying to do a good show, but it's like you're, it's the workout aspect. So you're not going to pop up into a comedy club wearing just to the nines. But when you go to a theater and people are spending all this money

and they're buying popcorn and drinks, it's a thing that you're like, well, you do need to come out and look good and look cool. And I think that aspect. But I don't think it's got to kind of match your act. Yeah. And so I don't know. Maybe I could be a suit guy with no tie maybe i could be

i just like the idea of not thinking about it it just was you can't you got to somewhat choose a style and i've been fortunate to have a couple stylists with things like my netflix special you get a stylist when i shot the pilot we got a uh stylist and I mean, you just sit and I wear what they have. I took it. I get in trouble for that. They said I just left. And then it was like, well, the pilot will go. Ooh.

And here we are. You took the clothes from the pilot? Yeah. Oh. I have the shoes on. I wore these shoes in the pilot. These red shoes. If anybody. Oh, man. camera crew's like oh my god i

gotta move around let them see it you got it we got it i wore those in the pilot the uh that no one will ever see because they own it i don't know how you get it back it was like super you couldn't show it really to anybody yeah they because it was because sony it wasn't with sony but like with that sony hack happened that just like made everything a lot tighter yeah i see sometimes pilots get i mean i've seen pilots of shows that never got picked up do you think there's one day that i mean maybe one day i mean i i don't have them i'd ask and you know it's like they own it's 20th century fox and so they own it and then uh if you owned it would you put it out oh yeah yeah i would love to show it yeah but you know so all right all right anyway so the cape fear

story got us into thinking about animals and got us into thinking you know one thing was like that was a unique place to go to that was uh going to the cape fear place i always get asked people always ask me do you ever go to a reptile place i went to one in wilkes-barre pennsylvania and it was i just were walking down wilkes-barre it was awesome but it was it felt i swear every time you passed a turn there was like an alley and it looked like a guy that was like looking at you down the alley like every

you would just go past it and it just looked like yo let's get on out of here it just felt, for some reason it was like timing out that there was always someone in an alley and you're like that guy that's not going to be good so I was walking down the street and uh who was with the graham maybe yeah yeah graham k very funny comic uh he had an album come out

recently graham k uh from canada and he so we're walking down and we see all i see is a written sign that says reptiles in the in the it's printed on just like, you know, they wrote reptiles on paper and put it on the wall. And so we're like, I'm like, we gotta, this is, this is my thing, dude. I'm like, you know, dive in and drive, drive in diners of reptile places. I'm the guy. So I go in and it's, I it's it's just it's in a bottom of a business like it's the bottom it's the bottom of office building older building and then just all these reptiles turtles he had a two-headed turtle in there for sale could buy a two-headed turtle

i mean very loose like i it felt like a guy a two-headed turtle yep yep two-headed turtle for sale you could have how much i had it i don't remember how much yeah how much would you i mean what's the price probably triple and you're like but there's only two ads and he goes you're paying for the experience of the two uh and then so there was all these like you know snakes and he had some alligators uh and he had all this crazy stuff and i mean it felt like he was a guy that knew at any point someone that owned the building is gonna like wait what are you doing down here like they he's tricked them into doing this yeah the craziest part he had a gun in his back pocket. Not his back pocket, but he had it like the way gangsters put it in a movie, how they put it on their belt loop.

Oh, wow. It was loose. If you see someone with a gun in a holster, you're like, that guy, he carries a gun. He's licensed. I'm sure it's real. When you see him bent over and it's in the holster and it's kind of out a little bit, so it's just in his back pocket.

I mean, not his back pocket, but his, like his like i mean you can't tuck a shirt in speak of that if you have a gun you gotta be an untucked guy right you don't even someone says what do you tuck or untuck you're like i used to tuck but started carrying started packing heat and that changed that but he had that gun and then he was like oh hey man and then we you know we were gonna film like some stuff in there and it was like it's just not worth it yeah and we tried to go back to do stuff we tried to call him to see if we could but i mean a guy that's willy-nilly with a gun like that in In the waistband, usually people that have license for that, I don't think they carry it as loosely. It's in a holster. It's in, you know,

you see it's on the belt clip on the side, tuck the shirt in because you want everybody to know. This guy, untucked shirt, back pocket. This guy doesn't sound very by the book to begin with, right? I mean, it's probably an illegal operation

to begin with. I'd imagine. They're letting it happen, but they could also not care. Yeah. Yeah. Have you, what's the best zoo

you guys, have y'all been to? I think for me, it was when I was with you in Orlando when we went to Wild Florida. Oh, yes. They were fans of yours.

Yeah, Wild Florida. Awesome, awesome awesome people man yeah great the whole family run yeah it's like airboats and they have a bunch of alligators you go see them on the everglades and stuff like that wild florida they were i got the alligator that you see is from there yeah we took it out airboats out salt alligators and then they brought us back and we got to feed an alligator we both got to do that yeah yeah it's a very cool it's one of the you know it's obviously the perks of doing stand-up and then they were very nice and uh super super nice family and they run a really good thing down

there and we just found out they're mixing all that tiger king stuff because they were down there in that system uh have you been to anything? I've been to some bad, some sad zoos. I haven't been to any really good ones. What's a sad one? I went to one in Arkansas. There's just trash in every, a lot of trash. Yeah. And the saddest part was there's like a penguin exhibit,

but it's Arkansas in the summer. So it was just these penguins all huddled up standing in front of a fan in this exhibit. Yeah. It was just, I was like, what are, why are they here? How do you say it? Yeah. What was the exhibit? It was a penguin.

Yeah. It was different. Penguin. That's how. I say penguin. I say penguin. Penguin? Penguin.

Maybe that's, I mean, that sounds like the guy that would run that penguin exhibit. Hey, what do you got going on here? I'm just penguin. I got a couple of penguins and we got bought, put a couple of penguins downtown. But the other day, the other night I bought a couple of penguins. I've never, penguin. You would seem like a guy that, someone that says like that, sells penguins to zoos that are kind of under the radar.

How are you supposed to say it? Penguin. Penguin? Yeah. I mean, that's what I say. It's an E. P-E-N-G-U-I-N. Penguin.

You're saying it like an A. You're saying it like an I. But I and E can sound the same. Yours should be P-A-N-G. I mean, can you look this up? Can you look up the pronunciation? I mean, this might be nobody's interested in this, but now I feel. Look, you may be right.

I don't think so. March of the Penguins. I mean, I would like to say if two people in this room. How does Morgan Freeman say it in March of the Penguins? Penguin Books. Penguin. Penguin. Penguin.

Hey, you got some. What are you selling? I got a couple of penguins in the back of the truck. They're in the icebox. They're in the icebox. They're in the icebox. I thought usually Wikipedia shows you the pronunciation. Yeah, you could do it.

Usually, if you just type in penguin pronunciation on Google, you should be able to. Just hear someone say penguin. Oh, yeah. Whoa, you have to go. I want to hear somebody who... I want to hear the legit... One of those said penguin prostitution. Did it not say that?

Penguin. There it is. Click that button right to the right of it. Let's hear it. That's to the right. Directly to the right of... I don't... Click it. Penguin.

Penguin. Penguin. Penguin. Penguin. Penguin. Hey, she said it just like I said it. No. Penguin.

Penguin. Penguin. Penguin. Slow it down. Slow it. Yeah, there you go. Penguin. Penguin. Penguin. there you go. Penguin. Penguin.

Penguin. There you go. Penguin. I think we're both thinking we're saying it right. All right. This is like a Yachty Laurel type thing. You're hearing peng? I'm hearing penguin.

Because I'm hearing penguin. Penguin. Penguin. That's right. How you doing? What do you got back there got a couple penguins one of them's all white is it i've never seen one of those why it's all why one's all white doesn't have like that tuxedo jacket no it doesn't have it i did a pod you get that one

because where is it at it's in the front me. It rode up with me in the front. It doesn't get too cold. It doesn't need. It's 95 degrees in Arkansas right now. Yeah. Got a couple. How much do they go for? 50 bucks.

A guy like that wouldn't know how to set. He wouldn't know that he could make money off of it. He'd go, how much you want for the 50 bucks? Get on that. Are you crazy? $50 for a couple of penguins. One of them's not even the right color.

He said, 25. Yeah. Anyway. Penguin. Penguin. I want some penguins. And then they sell that to a restaurant. I'll take two penguins. Two penguin burgers sell that to the restaurant. You go, that's like two penguins.

Two penguin burgers. Go type in. When you were typing that stuff in. Yeah. X out of the. Here. Go penguin P. Now P.

I swear. P-R. Yeah, penguin prostitution. I don't know what this. We're not sure what this is. Oh, it's a thing. penguin prostitution. I don't know what this. We're not sure what this is. Oh, it's a thing. Penguin prostitution. Oh, they want rocks more than sex.

Do penguins have. Oh, I wish I'd be talking. Oh, gosh. This is inappropriate. Yeah. This is. What did you hear? This podcast is off the rails already.

I mean, what happened? I mean, that's the best thing you could hope. What did you think it was going to be? The guy in Wilkes-Barre down the alley? I thought it could be something that has nothing to do with penguins. I thought, I honestly thought it would be like, that's what they call some other thing. And then penguins are nothing.

It's penguins. But it's straight up penguin. We got penguin problems. How much do you want? I love a guy selling that. And a couple of penguins in the back. One's all black. Doesn't have any white feet or blue.

Is it? Let me see. Is he kidding me right now? I'm trying to start my own zoo. And I'd love some penguins is the thing that I think set us over the top. I mean, I think that's what the guy says. Because if I get a couple of penguins, I think we'll be just right. I'd charge $8 to get in that place. Get a couple of penguins.

I love that. The official pronunciation is how I was saying it. It was, you know, just let that for the record. All right. So that's your worst? Yeah, I don't even remember.

Yeah, that was it. The Arkansas one. The place that had a penguin exhibit. It's just trash. I mean, I don't know. It's sad to see trash. The trash wasn't in the cages.

Oh, yeah. In the, yeah. Oh, people like threw it in there. I don't know. I didn't see anybody throw it in there when I was there, but it was like the monkey exhibits, they were all like holding trash. But how did it get in there?

Because you go through this like a bridge so you're kind of over it so you can you could easily throw stuff in there and there's trash everywhere i watched this gorilla chew this cardboard box for like an hour it was so it was so sad sounds like they had i was like fun says they're having a pretty good time? Well, I was just watching it. I was looking around like, is anybody going to stop this? You think that's like watching the gorilla?

He doesn't have cable. It's like in prison where you're like, we don't get all the channels. And you're like, I'll just watch this guy hit a watch. PBS for fun. He's like, I mean, it's at least TV. That's what the gorilla would say. He's like, yeah, dude, it's not ideal. It's not bamboo.

I thought I was seeing something like this is crazy. I've never seen an animal just eating trash. I looked around. I didn't see an employee the whole time I was there. I was like, this is wild. That's a place that lets the animals go. They let a gorilla go? That's how when you get done with that problem yeah of going you're

in over your head you bought some penguins early and you thought that's the thing that's gonna send you over in arkansas no one i mean yeah we liked the penguin exhibit but it wasn't unreal and then i went with and then you let all the you let all the you let all the zoo animals go. Yeah. They just open the cages, and Arkansas is going to be running with all kinds of stuff, man. Yeah. And someone's going to be fishing and go,

I swear to you, I saw a pie went to bed. And that's what's going to happen. And some guy is going to go, in Arkansas. I don't know. That was a different accent. But is that where you saw? You saw. What was that?

You saw a penguin. That was like a chimney sweep from London. You saw in Arkansas. You tell me in the Arkansas River. You saw a penguin. What is that accent? I don't know. It's a fun one.

In the Arkansas River? In the Arkansas River. You tell me you the Arkansas River? In the Arkansas River. You tell me you're on a boat in the Arkansas River, and you saw. I'm like, this is a guy that's. I moved around. I live in a lot of different places. I got a lot different. He's not just from. And you.

You saw a penguin out there today. I saw a penguin, boss. It's a guy. I had a guy last night tell us we pronounced our show wrong. Nate Land? They said it should be Nate Land. Nate Land? That's how I would say it if it were a town.

Nate Land. You know? And I said, no, it's Nate Land. They're like, no, it's Island. It's not Island. Island. Or Inland. Nate Land.

Nate Land podcast. The Nate Land podcast. The the nateland how do you say cleveland you say cleveland or cleveland cleveland yeah i think that's maybe what he was thinking of yeah uh we went to the national zoo once and uh there's a bird exhibit that you go in and they land on you and they tell you you, the birds will come land on you. And it was a Brad Hender lighter. And one of them started pecking on his neck and it started, no, his ear. And it started bleeding and it bled the rest of the time.

He had to go to like the, what is it? Infirmary. Yeah. I was going to say infirmary. Yeah. He had to go to the vet. All we got is a bird vet. And she goes, let me take a look.

You went to see where you get your ears pierced? Yeah, that's what it looked like. And then they go in and they're like, I'm not kind of. I basically do it. The best zoos I've been to, I've been to a few of these. One zoo that we have in here is the Tisch Family Zoological Gardens in Jerusalem, also known as Jerusalem Biblical Zoo.

Highlights a collection of animals featured in the Bible, which the Ark was all of them, right? So there'd be every, they're like, we're basically a normal zoo. Yeah, what was animals are in the Bible, but not in the-

These are the animals that were in the Bible. You're oh is it different you're like no i mean basically dark had all the animals so it's a regular you know and you're like okay uh san diego zoo i've been to a few times uh known around the world for pioneering the concept of cageless open air exhibits that help recreate the animal's natural habitat besides the train going around. Besides that, I like that it's like maybe these animals don't know. They're like, I don't know, man. It feels very normal to me. Looks like the neighborhood I grew up in.

The GW Zoo in Wynwood, Oklahoma is the zoo that's featured in the Netflix documentary Tiger King. The zoo was renamed Tiger King Park In May of 2020 It's kind of a wild one The best zoo, wild documentary I know that's a Dive into all that It's been talked about The best zoo I've been to

Was in Singapore Singapore Zoo I was there with Me and my wife and Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi. That's awesome. The Tedeschi Trucks band. And I remember talking. So at that point, we hung out with Derek.

I didn't really know. I met him. It was kind of like a corporate event kind of thing that we were doing, this private kind of gig. And so then we would go do all this stuff this was the paul allen cruise i was talking about i've already mentioned i always try to avoid it like it's uh yeah we're out to dive into that but it's upon because we go to we're we go to singapore and we get a stay we went to the hotel in singapore we didn't stay there but because we were only there

i think we might have been flying out or something and uh we're at the zoo and they the the they had the pool at the very top and so you it'd be on the top of the rooftop and you just look all over singapore singapore super clean and we went to the zoo the zoo was unreal there they have there's we didn't get to go to all of it because we only had a few hours like that we had that day and some of the night. So we went to this one part of the zoo. And, I mean, there's polar bears. I mean, it's just unreal.

But then they had a night zoo. And that's the coolest zoo I've ever been to. And I wish there was places like that here. It was just, I mean, everything's at night. Animals are super active at night. You can either go walk around on your own or you can take a train ride through that part of the zoo and we walked around on our own and i mean dude you'd go to the tiger exhibit that tiger is pacing and he's looking i

mean we go and stood at one point and we look at the k and the tiger is just pacing back and forth looking at you through the glass. Yeah. Because this tiger is super, like, what's going on? And then there's a part we could stand, and you could almost put your head up and kind of see it without. And, I mean, that tiger just saw us and then growled and just, like, came at us. And you couldn't see it.

I mean, it was the scariest. Just because it was being dark. Yeah. I mean, you don't know where any – it was the scariest just because of the being dark yeah i mean you don't know where i mean everything's i mean dude everything's so active at night every animal lions are roaring like it was it was a wild wild place i mean such a cool idea and i wish they would uh i wish there was something like that here it's it such a good idea that they should have that in Nashville. I don't know. Or just in America. Did you freak out with the tiger?

Yeah. Did you scream? Yeah, because you just kind of jumped down off the thing. Not that we were climbing the fence, but you could stand on – so the fence went up this high and you could stand on a thing. You could kind of just keep your head right above it. Yeah. And then you're just looking.

Like Wilson? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. You look like Wilson, like, hey. And then he's just going. The funny thing with Derek is we were talking.

So Derek, if you don't know about Derek Trucks, Derek Trucks, he's already looked at as one of the greatest guitarists ever. And he's basically my age, maybe a year younger. He's from Jacksonville. And he was in the Allman Brothers at 13. Yeah. And so he, because his family, his uncle, I think Butch, I think was in the Allman Brothers. And then he played with Eric Clapton forever.

And I mean, so he's like a once in a lifetime. He's a prodigy. He's like a child prodigy. And so before I'm really realizing all this stuff, as we're doing stuff, before I'm realizing exactly who he is, me and him were just getting along. Because he was from Jacksville and me, Nashville.

So we talked about Jags, Titans. We're in Singapore talking about the Jags versus Titans. There's no one. There's not many people in either of those states talking about that. And we're over there like, yeah, we got a good team. And like Jacksonville's rebuilding right now. Like, you know. And he has season tickets to the Jaguars and just is an enormous fan but i remember talking

to him about stuff before i realized that i was like yeah he's like talking about like yeah we just about the grind of everything to do touring and i'm like yeah i hear it you know i'm talking about the grind of comedy and stuff like almost like we're equals and then i go look and he's a child prodigy and i i And I felt like a moron. I went and I was like, I don't know what I'm even doing, man. So you're like, it's a different thing. I was like, the expectations he has got. I mean, he's 13 in the Allman Brothers.

He's a once-in-a-lifetime type of person. That's one of my favorite videos is him, John Mayer, and B.B. King. And Derek Trucks plays a solo and bb king says that's the that's the best i've ever heard yeah yeah which is like i mean yeah unbelievable yeah uh he's he's he's better than anybody and uh truly unbelievable and yeah great great both of them, great, great people. All right. So, talking about zoos, crazy animals at zoos. I'm trying to think if I saw anything crazy animals at a zoo.

I mean, do you think there's any point do we see a Bigfoot in a zoo? Well, that just jumped right to that, huh? Well, get into it. There's no way around it. If we find a Bigfoot, I mean, it's intelligent creature do we do we page it up in a penguin as also goes i got a bigfoot you want to get you you want a sasquatch sixty dollars you want a sasquatch how much for a sasquatch 140 dollars how do you think they would sell a Sasquatch for? If he found an actual Sasquatch?

But you think the same guy that's selling these penguins, you think he knows to charge? I think he would know to charge a lot for it. I bet he does like $5,000. Or rich. Someone's like, dude, you're going to be getting a million. Because it's illegal. He's got to sell it for less.

But you still could get more than that. Is it illegal, though? I mean, it's not a species that's regulated by the, you know, it's not an endangered species or anything. Like, you can re-home a dog. Yeah, he's not going to take it to Sothamese. You can re-what? You can, like, re-home, like, sell a dog.

Re-home? That's what they say now. say now that's like the euphemism they use for selling dogs yeah if you if you look up dogs on like craigslist they'll be like 100 rehoming fee that's what they call it what yeah it's because you don't want to say i'm selling my dog for 200 just say i say, I'll give you my dog, and there's a $200 rehoming fee. That's insane. Yeah. So if we want to rehome Sasquatch. That's insane that they're saying that.

Just say you're selling the dog. That's what you're doing. I know, but that seems so insensitive and cruel. Yeah, yeah. This is how you get down a path, though, where you start changing the name of something, and then you end up having a cuter name for a horrific act. Exactly. And you end up being okay with it.

Yeah. And so instead of saying, if you're selling a dog, maybe if you have some guilt about it, you're like, I'm not just selling this dog I don't care about or whatever. But you say rehoming, you're like, oh, you're like, okay, well, that makes me feel better. And this is how this tricks down rehoming you're like oh you're like okay well that makes me feel better and this how this tricks down into you're just killing dogs and you're like we yeah we're you know uh i mean what would you say we're you know early yeah early uh we're not euthanizing it yeah we're relifing it yeah early exiting our dog and everybody's like yeah no that makes sense and this dog is getting shot in the

head in a garage because everybody because everybody didn't want to say i selling my dog this is i honestly think this is how you stuff plows ahead slippery slope slippery slope and i know it's just a word it's just word but it's it trains you into going in 15 years from now, you got, yeah, we, you know, put it, I mean, yeah, I don't know. We sang him a night-night song. We said, our dog had 10 puppies, and then we sang two of them night-night songs. Well, that's, and then the kids are like, what is that? They suffocated those puppies. What makes you think they're gonna

kill them once they get them what i'm saying that i'm just using an example as an extreme saying that was what it that's rehoming to this is that's insane to not say i'm selling a dog yeah and you're trying to make yourself better so rehoming sounds better and then rehoming i mean then everybody's like oh i'll rehome my dog that's not even that word doesn't make you feel bad if you just didn't want your dog you say i'm rehoming it yeah and then you're like oh so now you're getting if if if the problem the problem can't be the word is what's making you what's bad can't be it's impossible for word to be bad and to be like that bad the act is what's bad so you're changing the name of the act but you're still doing the act the act

is the problem i'm not even saying selling dogs is the problem that's what i'm saying selling a dog is not i don't even think it's about i'm not but there's there's so there's no reason for saying rehome. You're choosing something. It's the act. The act is the thing that never gets... The words change, and it's just like a new... You're painting a house, a different horror house, a different color. Yeah.

A haunted house. It's blue now. You're like, oh. A horror house. That's what you said? Yeah. Okay. I'm just rambling.

Yeah, I'm glad you cleared that up, too. Yeah horror i've been haunted house i'm in haunted house i just yeah i don't know i'm trying to now i'm just making sure you didn't yeah well i'm just trying to put some comedy in this podcast so it's kind of flying off the rails uh i'm sorry young nick nick me apart as do a podcast with my wife. I'm just trying to shut down some of the comments. Yeah. One of them should be, Hey dude, does Brian and Aaron ever bring the heat?

No. Aaron, you've been a wonderful laugh for that. And that's been helped. What was it? Your, your, your friend,

daughter's friend, Carter. They, she said, Was it your daughter's friend said? Carter. She said, why does the guy in the beard never tell jokes? That was her comment. And you know what? That's the nicest way I've been described visually. Yeah, that's what we say.

The bearded guy. Well, that's what we say for fat people now. We're renaming it to go, God, this bearded guy. Rename it. Renaming. We rename it. Doesn't fix the problem. He's still large.

He knows it. It's still uncomfortable. The man, don't get near him. He doesn't feel space around him that easy. But the bearded guy, that is going to be the new way you can do it. Let's do animal. This is 10 large animals on Earth are all species of whales. I bet you never would have guessed that.

Probably would have. If you're talking all time, that would have surprised me. Is this all time? Well, the blue whale is the largest animal ever. Yeah. On Earth. It's larger than any known dinosaur. Larger than any dinosaur, yeah.

The blue whale's tongue weighs more than an elephant. I mean, that's crazy. Yeah. It is interesting to see it's bigger than a dinosaur. Because just to get that context, because you don't ever know what, you know, you think like, I mean, in your head, you think a dinosaur is going to walk and just, you know, I'd love to see a blue whale next to my home.

I wish I could whip one down my cul-de-sac. Let's make that happen. Just so I could get a gauge so when i'm walking around i know what dinosaurs would knock over i try to think about that stuff a lot yeah you ever walk around and just think what if godzilla walked down this street have you seen been to that dinosaur exhibit that's on the side of the interstate on i-65 north i uh yes so that's where he's doing. My parents are from Louisville, Kentucky,

and we would always meet at that exit. Okay. My whole life. I stopped there once. Yeah. And it's pretty fun. Yeah. Is it?

I honestly don't know if I've been to the dinosaur thing, though. I see you see them. They're so big. I mean, you know on paper that they're... It's just a bunch of life-size statues of different dinosaurs, and you walk through the woods, and they're out there. And just, you know, you get an appreciation for how huge these things were. And their actual size of it.

Yeah. So the ones next to the interstate are the real sizes of it. You see it. But most of them are tucked away in the woods. You can't see them. I mean, it's not like a dinosaur walking down an interstate would just smash the bridge above it you know like the bypass no they'd smash the cars if they stepped on it they would smash the cars but i'm saying in your head vision you could think like dude are they

gonna they would they just like how big can they possibly you know be you can see them being like i don't know yeah but it is a good thing to go see that. Go see that, guys. You're driving down 65 south or north. Yeah, that's right. Right in between. Or if we get to Elizabethtown. It used to be a dry county. I don't think it is now. I went in there once.

We were delivering in Elizabethtown. And I go to this bar, O'Charlie's. And there's a bar. Go sit up at the bar. And I think we tried to ask for a beer. And they said it's a dry county. It was a full bar, taps. They had liquor bottles.

And you're like, well, what's all this? It's like, it's all non-alcoholic. It's just nothing. Wow. Just like O'Doul's on tap and stuff like that? Yeah, so it was like a real bar. And that's how you pronounce it, Elizabethtown? Yeah.

I never knew it. I never knew it was that or elizabethan i got stranded there you know it's about elizabeth town they all call it e-town e-town is e-town is how they all call it just to avoid it spelled elizabeth right but their town's called elizabethan right it's spelled like elizabeth town but yeah i thought it might be something like that elizabethan there's a i I know the one in Tennessee, that's how you pronounce it. How do you pronounce it? Elizabethton.

Elizabethton? Yeah. Well, they're just being a nightmare. That town is a wreck. That's infuriating. There's no way. Elizabethton? You're like, get out of here, man.

No one's saying it like that. I mean, that is, God, that's so insane so you're like come on come on yeah work with me here yeah i mean who are we it's spelled like elizabethtown yeah i think so that's insane that's there's no reason for that i think so elizabeth elizabethton you're you know ridiculous the you know that's how we wrote the Seinfeld thing That is the funniest marine biologist Seinfeld episode When he says

The blue whale You know it's the largest mammal on earth But as George says they don't have to be He's looking at trying to make the whales lose weight The African elephant is the largest land animal. The cheetah is the fastest land animal. Oh, largest land animal. The cheetah is the fastest land animal at 70 miles per hour.

This podcast seems like it's for my daughter. This is like stuff she was into. Oh, my God. Just get into facts. I'm interested. Elizabethan is spelled differently. Okay. And there we go. Elizabethan spelled differently. Okay. And there we go.

Yeah, we should... What's your source? There's a W missing. That's it. Yeah. A W? Instead of town, it's... For the listeners, it's spelled E-L-I-Z-A-B-E-T-H. Well, the W is everything. T-O-N. But you would call that Elizabeth Ton. No, Elizabeth...

How much weight does Elizabeth weigh to Tun. No, Elizabeth. But it's spelled the same. Elizabeth weighted 10. No, Elizabeth Tun. No, I would say that. There's not a W. You read it wrong. You would say Elizabeth Tun? No, I would say Elizabeth Tun.

Elizabeth Tun. That's not how you... Whatever. I would say it more closer to what you said. Okay. I'm not doing anything wrong. I said not how you, yeah. Whatever. I would say it more closer to what you said. Okay. I'm not doing anything wrong. I said Elizabeth town and spelled it. You said it spelled like Elizabeth town.

Right. And you're like, what's the big deal, dude? They forgot the W. Well, that's the most gigantic part of the spelling is not having the W. But Elizabeth is spelled the same,

but it's pronounced differently. I know because it's, because it's T-O-N at the end. I wouldn't pronounce T-O-N and T-O-W-N the same. But you would spell, you pronounce Elizabeth differently even though it's spelled the same. Elizabeth town, Elizabeth ton, right?

No. How do you say it? Elizabethan. Elizabethan. Elizabethan. Yeah. But I can get that at least because that W's not there. If it was town. You're less angry. Elizabethan. You're But I can get that at least because that W's not there.

If it was town, Elizabethan. You're less angry about it now. That's already different. Okay. That's already one word. You're pretty riled up. He's clearly less angry now. I know, but you're...

I know because you're... Now it's you. You're actually like, well, so they forgot the W. You act like that's not a big deal. It's like, same thing, dude. They forgot the W. That's not a big deal. Same thing, dude. They forgot the W. Not a big deal. Falcon.

It's Faken. I forgot the L, dude. Why are you being weird about you pronounce it the same way? We covered that. Fake. You didn't know how to pronounce that. Huh? You said, is it spelled?

I mean, I could say you. You thought Elizabethtown. You're like, oh, is it pronounced Elizabethton? Yeah. That's wrong. I asked, that's why I asked the question. Yeah. And you thought it was crazy.

Then Aaron pointed out that it's called E-town because people don't know. Because it's spelled Elizabethtown. Right. Which is the gigantic thing in that. It's T-O-W-N. A W's a big deal. So I apologize for getting mad

at their town. I think they pronounce it the way they want to pronounce it. How do they pronounce it? Elizabethen. Elizabethen. What is it? Yeah, you got it. What is it? Elizabethen? Yeah.

I get it. Okay. The Paragon Falcon is the fastest Yeah, you got it. What is it? Elizabethan? Yeah. Yeah. Well, but I can, I get it. All right. Okay. The peregrine falcon is the fastest driver. I don't even care to this point. I'm just trying to get through this. Peregrine falcon is the fastest bird to speeds of 240. That's pretty crazy, right?

240? Oh, wow. So nuts. That is wild. So crazy. How fast do you get through Elizabethan? How long would it take him to drive through what do we use some weird animal facts a squirrel can survive a fall at its terminal velocity in

other words you could throw a squirrel out of an airplane it will land perfectly fine on the ground isn't that crazy yeah i don't know i mean that's i don't know how much that's what do you mean that's from aaron there's zero chance that's true it's you know everything has a terminal velocity a squirrel is designed such that it it's terminal it can survive a fall at its terminal velocity i not even positive with terminal velocity but i don't think so when something's falling yeah it's everything eventually is going to reach a certain speed and not get any faster. Because the speed at which it's falling and the drag moving up are going to, you know, competing forces. A squirrel's terminal velocity, which I don't know off the top of my head, but he can survive a fall at that speed. So theoretically, I don't know if it's been done.

Yeah, how did they figure that out? Check Aaron's sources. Look something up. I want to see Aaron's sources. Theoretically, you could be on an airplane and throw a squirrel out the window, and it'll land perfectly fine on its feet. I don't know if it'll land on its feet. Theoretically is a little different than in other words.

I mean, that's way different. Theoretically. Just saying, theoretically. Oh, they slow it down. What do you mean? It says squirrels, the only mammal that can slow them. No, see, 14 meters per second. That's the terminal velocity of a squirrel.

So no matter what height you drop a squirrel at, that's the speed it's going to get. That's the max speed. But below it says they can slow down their terminal velocity to survive the fall. They can do it slowly enough to survive. They can almost spread themselves out. How long does it take for

a squirrel to... No, not stop. Do squirrels die from falling? Look at that. Squirrels can survive impacts at their terminal velocity, which means no matter what height you drop a squirrel from, it'll probably survive. They put probably there because... Do from an airplane.

Well, it just says no matter what height. I want to see the word airplane. Oh, you're going to type that in? Put Canada squirrel. That was my editorialization. In other words. Yeah. Theoretically, or in other words, those are two big different.

This is what we were talking about. Basically. Previous episodes, just about, you know. I would love for somebody to test this. Well, if the squirrel can survive. It's right. I mean, if you really believe this as a scientist let's put it let's let's toss it how fall high of a fall can a squirrel survive 100 feet

squirrel's tail can also serve as a parachute to east falls they can fall up to 100 feet but how has 100 feet i mean how tall is a building they're saying tall building yeah 100 feet's not really 100 feet's not that tall you know a nine or ten story building yeah now that's a pretty tall building yeah what is it 10 it's much that's much shorter than stories than a plane flies yeah well i mean you could now what plane you're flying because well i'm not saying american airlines i'm saying i'm saying your buddy's got a plane he takes it up i'm selling charles limburg i'm talking a little i'm talking about the wright brothers plane is that not an impressive fact though i mean come on dude yeah i didn't know terminal velocity give it up for squirrels

give it i mean yeah it's it's the the airplane you know you went for it and it's 100 feet but airplane sounds better uh i mean a tall building would have been an airplane year everybody's mind goes to yeah i'm flying on delta across the grand canyon yeah what i said was not inaccurate though you could it doesn't matter that that's the whole point is it doesn't matter it's not accurate but if you sit in front of a squirrel squirrel would go well that's all right he's being a little kind of crazy. Don't throw me out of a plane, please. That's what the squirrel would come in and go.

All right, no, Aaron, thank you. I appreciate it. Aaron's kind of right. We're pretty awesome, but let's not get crazy. Aaron gets a little excited and wants to throw me out of an airplane. If you had a squirrel buddy that you're trying to get thrown, you're like, just do it, man. Like you're roommates with a squirrel. And you're like, why don't you ever just do it?

Is it like swimming where you just throw the kid in the pool to teach him? The squirrel buddy just shoves him out. See, nobody has the guts to do this. You go. You show up with Bermuda tickets with your squirrel. Hey, buddy. You got a little trip we're taking. That's fun.

Some squid have donut-shaped brains, and their throats pass through it. Hey, buddy, got a little trip we're taking. That's fun. Some squid have donut-shaped brains and their throats pass through it. So if they eat something too big, they can get brain damage. Wow, that's interesting. That's another Aaron Wepper one. Is that yours? Yeah. All these are. These are mine.

I'm the source here. Yeah. I would love it if these just these are just completely made up in here uh that's yeah all right they have their throats passed through it so they eat something too big they get brain damage i mean can you uh how stupid do you have to be that's what they say he's like what do you you thought you could eat the blue whale and you're stupid can't wrap your brain around how much food that is and literally that's the real thing he can't the squid can't that's where the saying comes from that's where the saying comes from that's right can you not

wrap your head around how big a horse is you can't wrap your brain around it you're like no you physically can't because it's bigger than your throat. Octopus can escape from a jar by unscrewing the lid. Yeah, we got video of this. I don't believe it. Oh, man. Well, what's your source? Yeah, the source is a video of it. It unscrews the lid with its tentacles and escapes a jar.

I don't like this. I don't like what it means. You know, the crazy thing is I've seen this video. He doesn't even get out when he takes it off. He just hangs out there. I still don't think what it means you know the crazy thing is i've seen this video he doesn't even escape get out when he takes it off he just hangs out there i still don't think he can get out well he knows what he's doing that's i mean that's the creepy part of this what moves and then i mean yeah i don't know i mean you got to get. He's struggling. Getting him in the, yeah, 40-minute video. Oh, oh, oh. There it goes.

Yeah, look. Yeah, he made it out. Wow. He gets out. No, he doesn't. He's just. You're so unimpressed with this. No, I mean, it's, you know.

Aaron, these facts are terrible. It's great. No, they can get it. Yeah. I mean, I would. They have suction cups. great. No, they can get it. Yeah. I mean, they have suction cups. I would think that they could do it. But the idea is that they're smart enough to understand how a lid of a jar works. I think you just start trying stuff out.

You ever not touch something that you maybe don't know how it works? You're like, oh, okay, I get it. Yeah, but we're human beings. I tell you what, you put most animals in a jar and they're not going to be able to get out yeah i mean that's true i mean that's i've never i'm thinking of it like that i like i like the idea of that that if you if you have most animals you would you could be like yeah well you think you could get in jar and get out and animal be like no i don't put a dog in a jar it's never getting yeah and he goes but i'm too big for

a jar and then he goes and the octopus is blank that's his smart point he doesn't even make a strong point octopus uh i'm too big for a jar and then octopus make a bigger jar he goes well we can make jars as big as possible bigger pants that's a debate between animals say a dog and an octopus are both running for office

what's the argument I don't know just taking shots your person can't what do they say your're kicking out of a jar your guy that you want to elect can't get himself out of a jar and the dog goes well what were you doing in the jar anyway and then everyone's like oh that's the comeback he goes uh What are the smartest animals in the world? Octopus number nine.

Just a little heads up. Yeah, I know. Kind of fell down. So let's go through. All right. So basically, octopus is number nine. Top eight animals that can get out of jars, apparently. Because that's not even on their...

They're not even worried about it. Does anybody want to take a guess? I'll let the listeners at home, if you're watching, if you want to take a, what do you think the smartest animal in the world? I wouldn't have got this. I would have thought number two was number one. And let me just say, I looked up, every list I saw was a little bit different. Yeah.

Yeah. But most of them had number one as number one. Okay. I will say we eat four out of the top 10 smartest animals in the world. Yeah. Let me go through them. Pigeon, squirrel, crow, and elephant, right? You got two of those.

Let me think. What do you eat? You eat octopus octopus should you just say what the list is or would you say number one it's my number one smartest animal in the world chimpanzee yeah two dolphin orangutan elephant crow pig squirrel pigeon octopus rat yeah pig squirrel pigeon and octopus people eat all four of those. Squirrel, pigeon. No, but what we would have eaten is- Pig? A pig and octopus.

Right. For me, it's a pig. But people eat squirrel. Yeah. Yeah. And people eat pigeons. That sell penguins out of the truck of their car. Pigeons.

Say as, hey guys, what do you got there? Kind of beef stick you got there. Isn't that what squab is? You can get squab at like a fancy restaurant. And I think it's baby pigeon. I've never heard that. I've never heard that. How is Gorilla not on this?

It's better not knowing that. The Gorillas? Don't you think Gorillas? I would have thought a bunch of types of apes would be on here. What if the gorilla doesn't want to be on it? I don't think you're the smartest animal in the world. You're so smart that you go, I don't need to be listed. I don't want to be on your dumb list.

You don't want to be. They dumb it down for their own safety? I'll eat this cardboard box and I won't get a top 10. Did you go look at the penguins? And you're like, I didn't know there was penguins here. And then you go and the penguins are in the trees because they don't know what penguins do. They go, it's a bird.

I put it up in the tree. Can't come down. Stupid bird can't fly. That is penguin can't get off the ground. Scared of heights. Can you believe it? That's what they do. Chimpanzee.

Do they have better short term memory than humans? You said this was a fun video. They have less to remember. How long are these videos? We're not playing the whole thing. Just play what you want. Look how quickly they put it up there

that's pretty amazing yeah then he gets a peanut I mean they put it up there for a split second so it's a chimp with a touch screen and they're putting up

all these little squares and the chimp is one through nine and they put wow they put it up for a second and then they go away and then he touches

the squares yes I mean so it would be like it would say it's a TV screen with a bunch of squares yep and then yeah i almost don't believe this is real the the the thing that's the craziest is how much a

couple times he doesn't even really look like he's watching where's the humans trying to do it you know so she didn't get it yeah i mean the fact that the fact that... I'd like to see her face. What if you just see her go, well, of course she can't get it. You just like, that looked like one of our biggest doofuses she put up. You put her up against that champion. Yeah.

One of the dumbest people versus one of the smartest champions. I mean, dude, how funny that they go. And this human can't get in. They show him, he's like... He's just sitting there. I don't know. I can't figure it out. And you'reikink, and they show him. He's like, he's just sitting there. I don't know.

I can't figure it out. And you're like, are you kidding me? That's what we had. You're going to get such. He'd be furious. Yeah. You're like, put someone else up there that's better, man. Let me feel it.

I want to feel that they have a chance. It's crazy that they don't really watch. I would also believe. He's getting fed a peanut every time he gets it right. Oh, is he really? Yeah. So, look, he'll reach for the peanut. That's the end of it. Very good.

Did the human have the same incentive? No, that's the difference. There you go. Just being... Yeah, your incentive is, if you can't, then you're dumber. Then we're going to hire this chimpanzee and you are fired. That's crazy. Yeah.

You ever see Robin Williams make that gorilla laugh? Have you ever seen that? I've seen a picture of him with a gorilla. Coco the gorilla? The did sign language? Yeah, the did sign language. And Robin Williams hung out with him and was killing. Coco the monkey?

He was doing comedy to the gorilla. But how would he get it? Go, go sign language. And Robin Williams hung out with him and was killing. Coco the monkey? He was doing comedy to the gorilla. But how would he get it? Coco, Coco. I mean, it was the most primal form of comedy ever. He was tickling it and doing funny facial expressions, and he was just killing. The gorilla was just having a blast. I would say as a stand-up, that wouldn't make you feel good.

To what? What do you mean? to it i would say as a stand-up that wouldn't make you feel good i mean i think honestly if you get out and you're like that gorilla like got me too much that that couldn't be he wasn't doing his act oh he's doing his full act no how funny that be that you're like i don't i didn't remember doing a show uh i i never remember if I've told these stories. But doing that show in New Jersey at a firehouse. Have I told this? And so you do these fire gigs or these firehouse, you know, and they'd be like raising money for like a fire company and, you know,

for whatever, a fire truck, for a fire truck place. You know, a place where they keep fire trucks i mean i don't know if i'd be the champion chimpanzee he'd already got through this story the gorilla's not even the top 10 yeah i mean chimpanzee would have already been done with the story and he's like and i wasn't even there can you believe uh so uh my my material is below the grill so we do this show and where it's set up and i had i used to do this joke about shakespeare i forget the joke but it was just whatever it was it wasn't anything profound it was like a dumb shakespeare joke and i remember that i get done i'm do we had to do it in the where they kept the actual usually you would do it in like one of the smaller rooms.

Cause it was an Erica fire department and you're doing a smaller room inside, but they didn't, we couldn't for some reason. And so we had to do it in the garage. Well, the garage where they keep trucks is enormous. The sound just disappears.

And so they're setting up all this stuff and I'm doing it to, for this guy to look at me and see me so I can hopefully get some more of these gigs. Cause you know, they'd pay pay like 200 bucks like you just drive to jersey and so i'm doing them and i go up i do this shakespeare joke i mean i just bomb like it's terrible and then the guy that booked it comes over after the section he goes that shakespeare joke works in the city and i was like yeah and he was like all right and he walked away never got booked but then my other buddy that did it with me that brought me he would play the trumpet and so he does plays the trumpet plays funny songs on the trumpet and of course and murders murders because that's what

you needed to do in that situation and we're driving back and i was like man you killed dude i was like i don't think i'll ever get booked there i was like they they loved you you did really good and he's like i don't think you should be doing good in that room like it was the most honest real moment to see someone put together that like yeah i don't i don't think that's a good place to be good at you know it's being like a carnival bar you don't want to you don't think that's a good place to be good at. You don't have to be in a carnival bar. I'm really good when it's outdoor and it's chaos. That's where I shine.

That's not the place you want to be. So you'd rather bomb with a gorilla? No. You want to have a good set. It's funny to think. I think if I did bomb, I would go, well, of course. Yeah. All right.

I'm doing some highbrow stuff over here. I'm not tickling the gorilla. I don't know my opening act. I didn't know he was going to do crowd work like that. Hey, man man good set would have loved to know you're gonna tickle the gorilla i mean are you kidding me i got 30 minutes on bananas you gotta kind of step on my tickling yeah how about humans we We opened bananas wrong, right? What are the most venomous animals on earth?

I wouldn't have guessed the number one animal. No. CNET.com. CNET.com is also where, that sounds like I'm doing an ad and we're not, but it's also where I go to check phone reviews. Like it's funny that they do everything. Really? CNET does everything? They're ranking animals too check phone reviews. It's funny that they do everything. Really? CNET does everything?

They're ranking animals too. Phone reviews. Well, if you ever look up a phone or they have great consumer reviews. That's funny too. You're like, but you don't do snakes or nothing. They go, what? Are you serious right now?

That's actually what got us started. That's actually our passion. That's actually our favorite thing. Phone reviews pays the bills, but we are all about animal reviews. How high can you drop a phone review? Also, higher than a squirrel can fall? Find out on this next video where we drop a squirrel and the iPhone 11 off a 100-foot building. How tall is a 100-foot building?

None of us really knew either. That's where an airplane flies. Box jellyfish is the number one most venomous animal on earth. You don't think of a jellyfish as being venomous. Like, they have venom. I thought they'd just sting you. Are they close? Are they, like, way out there?

Yeah, they're far away. Let me look up where I found that. You know, you always see my dad got bit by, what is it, the morora? Or such an M that's like a jellyfish? Man of War? Man of War. Really? Man of War, yep.

Those are the scariest looking things. Yeah, my dad got stung by a Man of War when he was, I want to say he was in his 20s or something. Where was he? You know what? Tennessee. No, I don't know. I was saying somewhere. You know what? Tennessee. No, I don't know. I was saying somewhere. You know what?

The mall. It was very random. A little surprising, but that's what made him touch it because he thought, well, it can't be. This man in war can't be shopping in the same place I'm shopping. When the flood happened here in Nashville in 2010, Opry Mills got flooded, Opry Mills Mall, and there was a rumor that piranha got loose from the aquarium and were swimming around in the mall.

So there's still... Maybe they still are. So when you go to that mall and you sit in that movie theater seat and you feel someone behind you going, shh, and you look back. Number two... Well, there's the box jellyfish, by the way. Yeah, I don't like that. Does it say where they're at? That's what I wanted.

What do you mean where they're at? Are they in the middle of the ocean? Are they the ones that come close to the shore? Oh. It is probably the most deadly. It is large in size, yet almost transparent in the water. Yeah, that's what tentacles can sting you with its millions of nemo something injecting a hefty amount of venom while holding its victim

in place it holds you the the jellyfish has enough venom to kill 60 adults and you think that's it you think it's out then or is there saying one sting would kill 60 people no i think that's it? You think it's out then? Or is there saying one sting would kill 60 people? No, I think that means total. Yeah. So it's like, I got a good- You think it has a finite amount of toxins? 60 in one sitting. Yeah. You know, give it a night to refresh.

It's like, dude, last night was tough. They told, they're doing like virtual learning, you know, at school. And they said, I don't know, I think at school and they said i don't know i think the zoom and all the kids are on zoom and stuff so the some of the kids got kicked off of zoom and so i think one of the teachers said well you know and i think the internet just gets tired and i was like i don't think that's i mean you're it was just and i she was saying it i think she was you know i mean you're saying it to kids to do it. Right.

But there's some logic that she's, I guess. I think she believes it. Almost like, well, we've been on the internet all day. It's probably a lot for the internet. And it got a little tired. I mean, but maybe she's talking to eight girls. She's talking to kids, but also I think beneath that, she doesn't understand how the internet works at all. Which who does?

Who does anymore? Blue-ringed octopus. Octopus. Octopus. Man, there's been a lot of words confusing. Elizabetone. Elizabetone. Look at that.

It can cause respiratory failure within 10 minutes and death within 30. It's the size of a golf ball. I don't like that, dude. I don't like anything in this ocean. Does it say that? Yeah. Only the size of a golf ball. The size of a golf ball, dude.

That's so small. Yeah. Well, that thing's got to be at the bottom. That's got to be. You ain't going to see that snorkeling and you go to mexico one bike can kill 26 men i know but i don't and there's no antidote because we don't need one because it's not in the gulf of mexico where you're uh it's in the pacific and what's that seinfeld it made me think of you know oh there's a lot lot when they're deciding on where to go

they end up they're going to go to France and then they say somewhere he goes there's a lot of hills there George says there's a lot in the finale

yeah where they're trying to fly and Elaine and Elaine goes I'm like you're gonna walk up these hills and he goes

if you get to the bottom drive down and pick you up like and they're just making fun of him that's what i felt like you're scared of that octopus is like it's not like you're gonna you're gonna go swim the gulf of mexico dude you're not you're never gonna go see a real ocean and you're all right uh jellyfish all up there cone snail that's everywhere all oceans is it really yeah the box jellyfish is

in australia australia australians wow yeah most of these are in australia that's that's crazy it's uh still may move slowly that's impressive whether their venom is extra potent i mean they always talk like that's what they got but it's like you know they went and bought stuff there's like you're gonna to move slow. He's like, well, can I have extra venom then? And he goes, okay. And he's like, fine. And he leaves.

That's how I think animals get the stuff that they get. I'm not that fast. Well, I should deserve more than other snails that can get out of the way. That guy's flying. It's going like slower than, you know know this guy's humming all over the place that peregrine falcon yeah he's going 240 miles they can't even wrap their head around they i mean a snail can't even doesn't even understand the logic of how fast 240 miles he can't even do it uh his first oh the inland taipan snake is australia uh that was the number

two i mean that's crazy for that thing to be two then the other type of snake sea snake i knew sea snake was boom slang snake i don't know uh and then there are ours uh number 21 on the list is black widow that's our first one. And then Diamondback Rattlesnake is 23. Brown Recluse is 25. And is the Misty the Boom Slang Snake. I loved snakes. We had a snake growing up.

I had a snake. And we had a red-tailed boa. And my dad, I got it christmas when i was 12 and they uh and my dad went and bought it he said the guys he goes in the guy's house and there was just snakes out everywhere like a dude that sells snakes i mean hanging on the door frames and just everywhere and he just had snakes and my dad had to bring it home and they had to put it in, he had to put it in his shirt and keep it up against his body. Cause it was cold. Wow.

I thought you were meant to hide it from me so you didn't see it. No, no. Just cause when they drove back and then they had a things, they had to aquarium set up where I was hoping. I was like, I think I'm getting a snake, but then they put a,

my brother got a hamster. So at first they put a hamster in there to make me think that that's what it was. And then I woke up and it was a snake. And we used to – it's funny, I don't really touch – I don't grab snakes. If I see one now, I won't catch it. Back then I was a little more willy-nilly. And we would – my dad would put it in the front yard and someone would walk by. He's like, oh, man, look at that snake.

It's like a three foot red tail bow do you remember how he found the guy no I guess you just knew somebody yeah you would have known someone I guess that had it yeah I don't remember how someone in the clown community

Santa how are you going to bring it home do you bring something to put in it no you're going to have to put it home? Do you bring something to put in it? No. What, are you going to have to put it underneath your shirt? Yeah. Yeah, man. The guy told him it was nothing. You got to tuck in. You got to tuck in there.

You got to tuck in there. That's another tuck in situation that you get into. Have you ever owned a snake? Yeah, I think I've told you this. My brother had a ball python. Yeah. And I had a hamster named Skunky. And one day I came over from school, and my mom was like, Skunky died.

And I found out like 10 years later that my mom fed Skunky to my brother's snake. Yeah. Because she was like, it's nearing the end of its life. Saved me a trip to the pet store yeah yeah the snake about a week later the snake got out of its cage and the family dog ate the snake whoa yeah your dog or the family dog yeah so i know but so your family's dog. That's right. Yeah, so some people just say the dog. Well, yeah. I wasn't.

You're right. But I'll say it was my hamster and my brother's snake. And everyone's dog. But everybody owned the dog. That's true. And you lived under a house with all of your family. Y'all didn't live separately? I mean, the way that was just worded was wild, dude.

Like, it was, I mean, and then the family. Like, I'm not, you know holly that's running in and out i don't go oh here's our family dog that's running you're like just so everybody's clear it's the family my immediate family dog would you call it my dog our dog our dog the family's dog i would say our dog i mean i'm just a little more formal than you. I like to let people know. And then, just so you know, we had two dogs, but the family dog. We had another dog that just ran around. None of us really knew. It was my uncle's dog.

But he was there. The family. The family that lived in that home. Okay, I'll defend this. And so then I'm going like, what's your family that lives in the home? And you're like, okay, my brother. You with me? Mother? Father? Look look a snake and a

hamster they can live in a room they're in a cage in a room yeah so if i had a hamster in my bedroom it would feel dumb to to think of it as the family's pet i would yeah a dog is all over the place yeah so it's like our, the family dog, right? Yeah. But a hamster and a snake are so unique that you could just say it's, I had a snake. I just told you I had a snake. That's right. And I said my brother had a hamster.

But it wasn't my snake. Same situation. That's what I'm saying. I had a hamster. My brother had a snake. Yeah. We're on the same page. We're on the same page.

Exactly. The difference is. Okay. That I don't announce i don't just go the family dog well did all your pets eat each other that's the difference well y'all were going through some stuff maybe it was a tough time in our family all right yeah i mean yeah it's a tough week the dog ate it all or just killed it ate it and kind of left i mean we guess it got outside.

And yeah, we know it because the dog threw it up everywhere. Yeah. So we saw that. Yeah, we could saw the snake skin and the throw up. What kind of dog did you have, a tiger? A beagle. Oh, man. We had a beagle and it snapped at my sister.

And so it was not a family dog for long. Did you? It snapped. Beagles can be a little snappy. That's right. Did you de-home it? We de-homed it. We de-homed.

We shot it in the back of the head. No, we de-homed it. I had an alligator. What? Cayman alligator. Is it crocodile? No, Cayman alligator. Me and John Paul, my buddy john paul uh

and he we like when we were you know in between college was done maybe start working right before i started comedy and we'd go to this place in antioch like little critters maybe or something like that it was and you could go in there i remember going in there once and there he would sell cayman alligators in there make sure it's cayman alligators i'm pretty sure it is i think that might be at their own separate species right uh yeah it's cayman and the islands yeah yeah yeah yeah they're just and is it cayman also cayman or cayman yeah is used to is related to alligators uh all right is it a crocodile no i think it's just in the family so we got a caiman and they we so we had it and we put it in our we had it in our apartment and in an aquarium and i mean you'd hold and stuff it was i mean

just you know you take it out and hold it yeah you just can never you know how much you think you become your buddy they just don't yeah yeah that's the that's the hard part they can't bond with you like a like a mammal can. You know? How did it end? I think we sold it. I think I might have moved out before, and then I think you just sold it to someone else. Rehomed it. No. It's a sewer. This is your problem now.

Familiar with Percy Priest Lake? It should be about 10 feet tall now. All right. We'll be wrapping this up. We're trailing off at this point. Black bears migrating to middle Tennessee. They're coming here. They haven't been one here in 100 years.

And last year, a black bear was spotted in Jolton. Or then one even closer. Today's weather is Nashville, Tennessee is 85 degrees. A black bear was spotted in Jolton County. It's northwest of Davis County. It hasn't been here for 100 years. Oh. Well, Jolton was the first sighting,

and then another one was Hunter's Lane off Dickerson Pike. I almost went to Hunter's Lane. Ten miles north of Nashville. That's why we didn't go. Bears were going there. My parents were like, we can't do that. One last, the last, oh, I want to do these last two. If different animals had a one-on-one, well, let me do this.

Should animals be brought back from extinction? That's pretty interesting. Scientists are close to bringing back animals from extinction the woolly mammoth and a passenger pigeon are two of the animals being discussed what animals would you like to see brought back from extinction i feel not to be insulting that you would be the one that goes what about a passenger pigeon like i is that insulting to say that if he goes i could see we're scientists i like dude woolly mammoth you're like what about a passenger pigeon i'm like and now i have to be like oh god uh and then it's like does it look any different than a regular pigeon yeah you know and then

you're like someone you just you can't bring an animal back from extinction just for somebody to go oh is that a pigeon you're like no it's kind of a big deal man it's it's a this vision has been around for a thousand you can't you a woolly woolly mammoth i mean what a woolly well yeah is it woolly woolly a woolly a woolly man woolly man i mean if anybody ever comments corrections to us that's kind of crazy that they're not they don't get that we don't know what we're doing like how much stuff is said wrong i know they should be like yeah dude that's the thing they're morons uh penguin hi you think they bring back penguins hey i'd like to bring back a penguin well sir

penguins are around and they're not extinct i know but just bring some back so i can say these are brought back from the dead penguins i'll give you 45 dollars for that. Sling blade? Yeah. Penguin and biscuits. I need to get two of these penguins. If I get two penguins, I think my zoo bee all took off. Hey, if I get two. How much you want for them? I'll tell you. It was in Arkansas, right?

Was it Arkansas? Didn't he say that the penguins, the penguins? Yeah, that was in Arkansas. Well, Sling Blade was. Was Sling Blade in Arkansas? Yeah. Didn't know that.

I feel like the guy would think this guy's an idiot no don't bring any of these animals back you know you had your chance you don't think so you don't want to see a woolly mammoth i don't you know and we got enough what else would be what else uh dodo birds oh we're dodo birds dude come on. That was the best. That's the thing. When did Dodo birds? I feel like I saw some. I think like the 50s. Yeah.

I think I saw them. I don't think. I think they went extinct in the 50s. I'm pretty sure. No, I think it was early 1900s. You might be thinking of a flamingo. No, I'm pretty positive I have been around some Dodo birds. I mean, I'll tell you what, the name D dodo they didn't stand a chance uh when did yeah

dodo bird if you wonder what it looks like it looks like just a penguin that's a mess literally i mean that's just 16 16 1690. I'm pretty sure. That's a ruse. Where's the source on that? I do, let me see a picture of it. You saw one? You're like, I'm sure I've seen one. I was like, no, dude, they expired in the 1950s.

No, let me see a real picture, not just a drawing. A dodo bird. Honestly, I was wrong wrong it looks like i mean you were thinking about it looks like a crazy turkey is what it looks like yeah it honestly yeah looks like a turkey that just is out there man like the year like if you're a regular turkey family walking you're like you know come you get your kids closer to you when you see a dodo bird where y'all going he just he doesn't he doesn't know how to fly flies with just one wing going never figured out to do two i mean look this is old dodo bird's been

made fun of for years maybe it's like back off uh all right. If you told me 90s, I would have easily said 1990s. I did see one. I don't know why I saw the 50s. Well, I thought it was early 1900s. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit farther than you think. All right.

Let's do this last one. No, it's Tasmanian Devil is the one. Are they extinct? No. Are they still alive? They're still around, right? I think they're kind of a problem over there. They're like awesomes.

All right. Yeah. They're varmints over there, dude. We're way off. Dodo Bird's been gone for a while. You hear that UFC fighter's name is the Tas-Mexican Devil? Oh, yeah. That's his nickname.

But it's Tasmania. Oh, it's the Tasmanian Tiger. Doesn't make any sense. It went extinct in 1933. Wow. But you meant the Tasmanian devil. I said Tasmanian devil, but I knew it was an animal in Tasmania. Tasmanian tiger, wow.

Yeah. I mean, when did it go out? 1933. I keep these animals. I mean, I get it. Why they don't. I think you bring some back. You bring, I mean, what would you want to bring back?

None of them. A woolly mammoth would be, and that's a big deal. That's what I would. Where do you put them? You put them in the wild? Yeah. The article said that it helps the ecosystem because they had a purpose and they would need to bring them back to help the environment.

I mean, we're doing fine now, right? I'll tell you what. I'll tell you some animals that need to bring them back to help the environment i mean we're doing fine now right well i'll tell you what i'll tell you some animals that would not want them back i just feel like there's some other animals that are going like oh look who's look who's back there's a woolly mammoth comes in with all his hair hanging down. The penguins are the woolly mammoths. The elephants are just like, oh, look who's showed up. Hey, where you been? You been lost? He's like, I've been dead. I went extinct.

And they're like, we don't even know what that means. He goes, you wouldn't. You're going to find out. Yeah. It was interesting the ways they had for bringing them back. Some of them are DNA stuff. One of them was just breeding two hairy elephants again and again and again. Oh, and like recreating them that way.

Yeah. Interesting. That's loose. Come on. Come on. Either bring it back or don't. Don't be like, you know, just, it's like, well, it's got a lot of hair on it. So you have the woolly mammoth DNA.

What gives birth to it? I don't know. Chicken. Do you build an artificial womb? Or the hen. So the hen has sex with the chicken. That's perverse. Yeah, that's perverse.

Something's missing. Something's missing. All right. Let's go through these real fast. All right. We got to be done. This is too much. This is the episode that never is coming out.

I think it should. It's been fun. Yeah, well, you would. Taking shots. That was a joke. I feel like we've had a good time. That was a good guess. Yeah, well, you would think it was fun.

All right. Is that? That's all. i'm done with that joe uh keeps pressing the penguin button like we're on radio no one can even hear that morning radio good night uh his timing is i mean it. I thought that was... It's a little off. I thought it was good. Thank you, Aaron. Thank you. I had forgotten about... Just when I forget about it.

Thank you. It's perfect timing. This guy over here. That being said, we're probably done. Yeah. You know? Yeah. One of them was...

I'll give you two. The folks in Elizabeth Tun, love it. So your biggest fan base is population of 1,500, it says. Great white shark versus salt wild crocodile. Let's give you – this is like running a rundown of just highlights. All right, last night we saw the great white shark versus salt wild. Salt water crocodile, great white shark. Shark was looking for food.

Who wasn't? The crocodile bit the tail and then bit off the great white shark's fin and later clamped onto its nose crocodile tend to death row but began to sink to the saltwater crocodile broke off the attack to get air then the shark returned and bit the croc's belly ending the fight i don't even come on this is a virtual simulation yeah this is from the discovery channel where they just did this. The crocodile bit the tail, then bit off the great white fin. So his tail and fin are gone. But then the shark came back and got him in the belly.

And then he needed air. Can they breathe underwater for a long time? A crocodile could just leave. He could go on land. I mean, is that not a tremendous advantage? Well, they wanted to fight. So why do they have to fight in the shark's territory? Well, because the shark goes, you know where I am.

If you want me, you know where to find me. I can't go anywhere. That's where they ran into each other. It just happened. Why not? I don't do that. Lion versus tiger. This is the big brawl.

This is the one everybody's like, what's going to happen? Tiger tried to... The lion tackles the tiger with a surprise charge. Typical lion. Didn't even tell him that. He said, I don't want to fight. It was the last thing the tiger heard. And then he comes back and fights him.

Just out of nowhere. Just, do you want to fight? No, I'm good. I can handle not fighting. Arr, arr, arr, arr. And then he comes back. The tiger tried to bite the lion's throat, but the lion shook off the attack.

The big cat scratched. Neither could lay a blow. The tiger tried to end the fight. But the lion's mane deflects his aim. The lion is more skilled at fighting, and he managed to get a throat bite and killed the tiger. These could all go either way. They all seem pretty close.

They all seem close. That's good seeding. Hippopotamus versus bull shark. That's kind of interesting. Hippopotamus had a wound, and the smell of the blood attracted the bull shark. I mean, how can you say that they're fighting? When you're starting out, yeah.

You go, all right, hippopotamus. Hand behind his back. Missing an eye. The stomach and leg were too thick for the bull shark to bite. But the bull shark ripped his tail off and made the hippo angry. The hippopotamus bit down on the bull shark's head. Hippopotamus are wild, man. It is nuts how much they.

I mean, have you ever seen that one where it it runs in the water they kill a ton of people a ton of a huge threat yeah uh yeah it's just there it's funny it's like you know you just hungry hungry hippo it's fun game and it's just this i mean brutal animal if i had to be an animal i almost a hippo is a pretty solid animal to go to. You really have no threat. I mean, no threat. Nothing can get you. You're stronger than everything. And you're so big, an alligator is not going to come at you.

Elephant. But, I mean, a hippo could, you know, you just never will be put in a situation where you'll probably have to fight an elephant. But a hippo would a hippo could i mean they just i don't know man it's crazy they're super mean uh polar bears versus walrus i'm kind of getting the polar bear attempts to flee but the walrus finishes the battle by driving its tusk into the i mean so the walrus wins that's kind of crazy wow he tried to bite and scratch skin was too thick walrus wins? That's kind of crazy. Wow. He tried to bite and scratch. Skin was too thick. Walrus left.

The polar bear gets dragged into the water. As the walrus flees, the polar bear gets dragged into the water, and the walrus goes gourd the polar bear by sinking its tusk into it. As the walrus flees, the polar bear gets dragged into the water. All right. I mean, these are lion versus crocodile. The crocodile erupted onto his neck. Death robed the crocodile, ended the fight.

Good. I mean, I'm just flying through these now. Anaconda versus jaguar. Everybody's wondering. Snake attempted to flee. All these animals flee flee none of them just walk away they flee but the jaguar fishes the anaconda out of the water and kind of then bit the jaguar a skull wraps around it killing it this time so the anaconda seems like it was up

it was winning i try to leave the jaguar wouldn't end up wouldn't just let things go gorilla versus leopard gorilla tries to avoid a fight typical gorilla but the leopard wouldn't back off the gorilla's going no i don't i don't know and the leopard's like what if i'm over here now do you remember where i was and the gorilla's like yeah you were just right there he always remembers where yeah dude you were there there and there i've been watching you the whole time. Every time you move, I know all your moves. You were in that tree, down to that tree, down to that tree, now down to that tree.

Yeah, I get it. I got a great short-term memory. I was the chimp. And he goes, dude, it's a joke. Oh, my God. I have to handle the comments, so I'm just clarifying, folks. I knew. No, that's oh man uh fun fun police showed up good night dude i mean that's unbelievable he's a professional

comedian i like to i mean that's like honestly getting a fun joke going and then just going hey could we get back to the list i mean that's like unreal dude unbelievable honestly uh who cares now we had a good thing going is gorilla i like accuracy in my jokes i know but it's uh we got one mic should be let's bring it out. American alligator versus American black bear. The alligator bit the bear, leaving a wound once again. However, it only bit fur, fat, and muscle, which I would think are pretty gigantic things to get bit. I was going to say. I mean, it's like, don't worry, just bit through the leg,

and he still has another leg. The black bear fought back. The gator tried to do a tail swipe, but the bear dodged it. Running out of energy, the alligator tried to retreat into the water, but the bear stopped it. It rolled over, and the black bear scratched the gator's belly, ending the fight with just a scratch. The belly seems to be a real vulnerable spot

for a lot of these animals. For a lot of these animals. Yeah. A lot of these animals. Turns out, belly. If you're ever in a, one of these fighting

with these animals, just go through, just go through the belly and, you know, and it's over. Mm-hmm. All right.

Well, that was the, the episode where someone dies someone gets fired uh and we need to pop one in there uh that's when we will do it's pretty good episode though that was fun that was fun it was a fun one so all right well thank you guys for listening uh remember always subscribe comments uh you've all been super nice to us and we truly appreciate it none of that's lost on us and we can't thank you enough so see you next time thanks everybody for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify,

you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.