The Nateland Podcast - 147: #147 Animal Fights with Nick Thune

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

This week, Dusty is missing in action so the guys are joined by Nate's longtime friend and fellow comedian Nick Thune. The guys discuss mail trucks backing up, fat guys sitting on coats, and TV pilots that didn't make it. Then they delve into more animal flight discussion in their bracket challenge.

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No, people are not impressed. And no, I'm very happy to have you here, bud. Nick is, me and Nick have been close forever. A long time. Yeah. Fair to say that I think you flew in last night, and it looks like you flew in and you had your window down on the whole flight. Is that? On the flight.

Okay. Well, I asked for a car today to go get some coffee. You did get coffee. And the car that I was given does not have doors on it. Yeah. It's a Bronco with no doors, and I just had to drive five miles to get. The Bronco does not have doors on it, and I took them off last week because it was nice. The weather was – it was like taking the doors off weather nice.

And then I was gone, and then i just haven't put them back on and then laura was always that always happens to me i just always forget to put my car doors back on yeah yeah yeah well it's a fun ride to not have the doors that's like i mean usually take all the doors yeah i pulled off i did a starbucks um drive-thru yeah and I pulled up, and the woman was like, you don't have to open your doors. Oh, really? Yeah, she thought that I had opened my door. There's no doors over here. It's like a Jeep or a Bronco.

When you don't have doors on something and you go through a drive-thru, it's aggressive. Yeah. I mean, it's – You're in their space. You're in their space. It's almost like you're bragging that you have pants on. Yeah.

Yes. Just want to prove to you guys that – If you wanted to fight a drive-thru person, I would suggest getting a Jeep or something with no doors. That's a big process to go in just to want to fight. But you never, look, I'm not telling you to fight people and drive through windows. But I'm just saying, if you were someone that like, I've had enough with this one drive-thru person.

One day I'm going to go give him, I'm going to give him what he's had coming. You go out and lease a car. I would say. Buy it. Rent. Maybe you have the car. Yeah. I mean, if you're a guy fighting a guy in a drive-thru window, your car might not have doors anyway.

So you might have a Honda that doesn't have doors. If you're doing so much that you're like, I have a lot of interactions with drive-thru windows, and it's aggressive. Could be a mailman. Could be a mailman. Mailman. UPS trucks. The only thing is you're not— Or female men. You can be either these days. Mailman. There you go. UPS trucks. The only thing is you're not – Or female men.

You can be either of these things. You can be either. Mailman truck, pretty low. It's low to the ground. You mean a drive-thru? Yeah. And they're on the other side. Yeah.

So how are you going to do that? Oh. I didn't even think about that. I have to go in backwards. Yeah, UPS drivers, they're the ones that – UPS. Yeah, they're just wide open for business. Yeah.

You can just attack one of those guys whenever you want. Yeah. Yeah. UPS, I think you would – I think people have learned not to mess with them because they just are like – because they can get a running start. I mean, they got – it's like a basketball court inside there. It doesn't even seem like they're sitting down. It seems like they're standing and driving.

Yeah. Yeah, and then they can just just and they could leap right through do a mailman go through a drive-thru in reverse such a funny image to me it's a power move i wonder if that's been done before i've never seen it i've never seen it but i mean i bet it has to be uh it takes look it up certain type of person. I bet they're good at driving in Europe. I was thinking that yesterday. I saw the mailman.

That's the kind of stuff my mom Googles, by the way. Has the mailman ever ordered Starbucks delivery? Probably not allowed to. No. They avoid driving in reverse. Yeah, they would be good at driving in europe yeah i think all the mailmen you have to be european it's required to do u.s mail yeah i mean you got to be if uh if you can if you go to europe and you're a mailman i mean that's got to feel good when

you're like i'll rent the car and you get to be like i mean just nailing it they're like sir just so you know the steering wheel. Yeah. I got it. I got it. Yeah. I got it. You guys don't have any envelopes, do you? Yeah.

That's one thing I do need. I wonder if it, though, if it messes them up because they're used to driving our way and not. That's right. So they could be a little off. Yeah, that could be interesting. I've just found some literature from the United States Postal Service. They discourage their drivers from backing up. They say occasionally you're going to have to, obviously, based on where the car is.

But if you can avoid it, don't back up. Because that's where a lot of their accidents happen. I think we talked about that on our mail episode. They were saying what's in the past is in the past. Yeah. Got to move forward. Yeah. Man, thousands.

We're talking thousands of motor vehicle accidents from being in reverse. I mean, that's a lot of twos, by the way. They've really. Yeah, 2,222. Yeah. That's too convenient. Yeah. Through the end of October 3rd.

Oh, no, that's quarter three of 2007. I mean, this is like a... Is this an internal document that we're looking at? We're not supposed to see this. It says, if you cause an accident, what will you say to a grief-stricken mother who has just lost a child? This is getting so dark. I know. You're like,

or to a father whose child was seriously injured by your vehicle while you were backing up. You're like, I'm just trying to be a mailman. No reason excuse is good enough. Who would think there'd be an excuse good enough that you would go, as a mailman, you go, I had to go backwards because a dog was in front of me. They go, alright,

that's a pretty decent excuse. That kid broke his leg, but... Ma'am, I had to go backwards because a dog was in front of me. They go, all right, that's a pretty decent excuse. Hey. That kid broke his leg, but. Ma'am, hey, we got a couple envelopes here for you. And is that your son? Yeah. Lying in the street out there? Yeah.

Because I don't think he's alive. Yeah. Do the right thing. Avoid backing up while on your route. Children live and play where you work. Yeah. Only you can avoid backing up on your route. Children live and play where you work. Only you can avoid backing up on your route. Only you can avoid backing up. Backing a vehicle is a personal decision.

I didn't realize it was this big of a thing. Dude, backing up is the real deal. Is this like a The Onion article? No, I think the post office is like, we're not joking around, dude. This is literally what it says, do the right thing. Avoid backing up while on your route. I mean, you would leave the meeting and go, what was the deal with backing up? Right, what's going on out here?

What if you're in a situation where you have no option and the guy is just like, I've got to get approval from my manager. You might have to call higher up. Hey, I've got to reverse like two feet. Yeah. And he goes, you're not going to believe me, but car just pulled in front of me. Guy got out. I mean, I think I want to, when the mailman comes now, I want to, like,

right when he stops in my mailbox, I'll just pull my car in front of him and get out and run and see what, and just see what he has to do. He probably has to notify everyone in the neighborhood door to door. Hey, I'm going to reverse a couple feet. I'm running four houses down. It's like an ambulance just starts going off. They shouldn't even allow, have a reverse. Like, it should be like a ride at Opryland. Just, you can only go forward.

I'm pretty sure they have the beeps, right? The reverse. I would think they must. Is the reason because there's no rear window, right? So you can't see anything behind you. It'd be tough. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, I backed up a box truck. There's no window back

there. You look out the side mirrors. And there's a point, you know. I had a mailman yesterday i walk in my dog and he just like you know he'll have treats for the dogs in the neighborhood and he just slings out the window he nailed me with it he hit you with the dog treats and he just nails me and keeps going yeah that's great my dog like it but it kind of stuck did you even see him no i'm just walking and it kind of stuck. Did you even see them? No, I'm just walking, and they're very quiet trucks.

What if he didn't even notice you had a dog? He did throw overhand now that I think about it. No, he just slung it, and then it hit me with it. Wow. That's awesome. Wow. That's tough. Then he backed up and did it again.

Yeah. And you go, wait a second. You're not supposed to back up. All right. A lot going on. How did we even get into that? I don't know. I don't know.

I don't think we're ever now. Yeah. Don't remember. We talk about drive-thrus. Could be the most memorable part of the podcast so far, I think, out of everything we talked about so far. Yeah. So I'm back. I know this episode's coming out whenever.

Next week. Next week. But that doesn't mean anything to anybody. Yeah, that's true. But that doesn't mean anything to anybody. Yeah, that's true. But then we will be – if you're watching this episode – Wait, next week, 2013? Yes.

Yeah. Yes. If you're watching this episode, the next one will be up to date, right? Yeah. We'll be back live. We'll be back – Kind of live. Kind of live.

But like that recording the week of. I hope you guys don't sit on this for 10 years we're gonna sit on it for a while i don't even know if we're gonna air it because you were here uh and it's free to air because it just goes on youtube but we're still gonna hold we're gonna hold on to it okay yeah yeah this keeps sending me weekly updates hey man we're we're gonna get it up soon. Nick, what's up? Hey, we had some trouble with the audio on that one, so we're working on it. We got everyone but yours.

Yeah. Everybody else we got. We're airing a couple of them twice. And that doesn't even make sense because they're all on YouTube. And they live there forever. So this week, I had a pretty wild week. I went and played. I went to Vegas and played in the 8 a.m. golf tournament,

Justin Timberlake's golf tournament, 8 a.m. golf. They're doing some really great things. They're building a course here in Nashville. And I was there with, you know, Fallon was there, and we did this little video, the Tennessee Kid, because my special is called the Tennessee Kid. And obviously Timberlake is the original Tennessee Kid. His back says Tennessee Kid.

I thought, it was funny, I thought, you know, I'd said when I first met him, he was very nice. And when I first met him, he was like, because they invited me out to this. I didn't even know he knew me or anything. And then when I first met him, he was like, I was like, hey, I named it the Tennessee Kid or whatever. But, you know, in my head, I was like, well, he's not like, I didn't think he's that much the Tennessee Kid. My specials just named that. And it's like, it was on his bag.

You're like, oh, it's like, oh, you're the real Tennessee kid. That's his bag in the video? Yeah, yeah. It's on his birth certificate. Yeah, he is the Tennessee kid. So we did this video. Very funny. Rory Scovel texted me this video.

He's like, just a quick side note in this video is just Dr. J. I was about to say the same thing. Oh, yeah, there's also Dr. J is just Dr. J. I was about to say the same thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah, there's also Dr. J. Also Dr. J. Yeah. I mean, just out of nowhere, just Dr. J. Me and Dr. J rode together. So they do like a Ryder Cup.

It's crazy. It is. It's crazy. It's insane. The whole time I drove, my head was going, Dr. J, Dr. J. I just kept telling myself. I couldn't believe it. Dr. J is awesome.

Yeah. Awesome. It felt like you're riding with a buddy. What were you calling him? I would go Doc a little bit. People said Doc a lot. I said Julius a couple times because people said Julius. And so I didn't know.

You don't really know what to say. But you find yourself easily just saying Doc. And, I mean, he answers to everything. But, yeah, it was like he was just mean. I'm just driving around and, like, you know, he's 73 years old. And it was just, he just is an awesome, awesome dude. Like, we just were talking about, like, so you play like a Ryder Cup-style thing. And so it was me and Doc versus them two for nine holes.

And then we switched up and we played someone else for nine holes. And then the next day, Doc pinched a nerve, and so he was hurt. And then they put me with this guy, Drew Stoltz. Sleazy is his nickname. Him and Colt Nose host a subpar golf podcast. And they're both unreal golfers. They both played. Colt was on the tour.

And then Drew, he played. I don't know if he made the tour, but he might have played a mini tour or something like that. Their podcast is great if you like golf podcasts. Their subpar podcast is great. So I played with him, but he's like a legit, real golfer. Unbelievable. I'm going to text you. Did Dr. J score 100 in a game, or is that Wilt Chamberlain?

Wilt Chamberlain. Did you ask him that? Hey, was that you? Yeah. Yeah,lain yeah uh did you ask him that hey was that you yeah yeah i go hey i asked him about flying i'm gonna airdrop you this uh other picture aaron i i asked him about uh like when they flew when they were coming up you know i was like did y'all they you know they flew commercial at the beginning like. So back in his day when he first started. Can you imagine the NBA? You just got to go fly.

So go to that. Go to this. So this one goal. So this is the last day of the tournament. And we're playing. This is like a 211-yard par 3. I was this close to winning a Lamborghini. Wow. I was with CeCe Sabathia and Jimmy Rollins versus me and Drew Stoltz.

This is insane. And we're watching it, dude. And I'm like, I haven't had a hole in one. I've had a hole in one on a par three course that I don't really count. I've never had one in a full round. And this was a very far hole. Dude. Because they have to because it's for a Lamborghini.

So, like, if you ever play in a golf tournament, and their cars are – if anybody's playing a golf tournament, there's hole-in-ones for cars all the time. They do an insurance thing. But they have a yardage that you have to be, and it kind of depends on the car. And so, like, it used to – like, usually it's like 185-yard par 3 is what something has to be. But I guess because it's a Lamborghini, they're like, no, it has to be over 206 yards. And so this was like 211. And I hit a little 5 hybrid. And I hit it.

And, dude, look, when you play golf, there's times when the ball goes, you're like, from the get-go, you're like, this is going to be, there's a chance it's going to be good. And so we're sitting there watching it. It's a long watch because it's flying so far. And in my head, I'm thinking, dude, I'm about to win a Lamborghini. And I mean, you got CeCe Sabathia just behind you. And we're like, God, we're watching it. And we see it come. And then you're like, there's moments where you go, it's close and we're like god like we're watching it and i mean and we see it come and then you're like there's moments where you go it's close you're like it looks so good coming in then it lands and so then that's your second kind of adjustment to go what's it doing what started rolling towards the hole yeah so now i'm going oh my gosh i'm about to this is about to go in

and then it just stops just left of it dude and. And, I mean, I was like, I would have drove home. I just drove from Vegas. From Vegas. And be like, I'll just meet you guys at the house. They should have gave you a Honda Accord or something. That's what I, I said something like that, too. I was like, I should get, you know, something. Did you end up bogeying it or?

I three-putted it, got out of there. The people watching it up at the – so there's people up at that hole watching. I guess it's part of the issue. They were not – they didn't give me anything. No kind of reaction at all? No kind of reaction. What did CeCe give you? CeCe went crazy.

Jimmy Rollins? Yeah, yeah. That's what I would want. Oh, they all went crazy. There's a video. There's a little video of a – CeC cc comes up gives me a big high five we were talking about it for like a few holes because it was such a fun watch yeah like the excitement of just being like are we about to watch a hole in one like so everybody's like going crazy and then uh so we kept talking about it and like just joking about it uh had to

have been the closest one that day right i think so how close is that uh it's about a foot and a half probably oh so it's even closer than yeah they gave me the putt like it's close enough i mean they they just picked it up and were like yeah they were like you're're good. Like it was that close. It was, yeah. I mean, man, it just, everything looked so good. All right. Sometimes with so many razors or care products options, it can be hard to decide and try something new. But Harry's makes it easy.

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Save the hassle, set up your delivery, and get there. Our thing was at the Wynn, and so we stayed at the Wynn. I mean, we were one hour. Within one hour, we went to the fight and was back in the hotel at the Wynn because we went pretty late. And when we got there, we got in our seats, the bell rang, and the fight started. And then once it ended, we had to get back because they were having another event for the Justin Timberlake thing, so we had to all get back. And so then we left right when it ended.

And I mean, it was the best timing of going to something ever. That's how I like to do boxing matches. Just pop in, pop out. Pop in, pop out. Yep. Yep. I mean, I didn't see the walk-up. I didn't see...

And I like... It was like... That part seems fun, though. That part does seem fun, but we just didn't get there in time. So none of the undercard. No. No, I mean, I sat down. When I sat in my seat, they rang the bell.

They were waiting for you. Yeah. We go and begin. Yeah. Fallon my seat, they rang the bell. They were waiting for you. Yeah. We go and begin. Yeah. Fallon gets – I'll tell you what. Fallon is – and I've said it before, but, like, this was the first time we got hung out with – I've hung out with Fallon a bunch, but, like, this was a full weekend of Fallon, like, especially in Vegas.

And he's as good a guy as you want him to be. And I've said it before that he is. But, I mean, it's just there's a lot I take that I can learn from watching him and like the way he interacts with fans. He get hounded everywhere. Oh. You didn't talk about the difference of fame. Yeah.

It was like I was telling Chase with me on the road. I was like that's the difference is to like, I can like, you know, someone comes to me every day. You know, it's like you get recognized every day. It's not that. And that's the difference of being on TV every day. When you're on TV every day, it's every single person knows who you are. And it's people from other countries.

It's people from – there's no rhyme or reason to who's recognizing you. It's every single person. I mean, Timberlake is obviously like that too. I don't know if he... I didn't walk around with him, but found no security. We were with him, and he didn't have anybody with him. He took pictures. He enjoyed everything He is It's a good person to And Nick you know you've been around him a lot too Being on the show

But he's a great person to be around and to watch To kind of see how you should Handle yourself in situations He does not make anybody Feel like a bother I always like that When someone comes up to him You don't feel what he does not make anybody feel like a bother. And that's a, I always like that. Like when someone comes up to him that you don't feel like you're like, he's annoyed that he's having to talk to you.

He's very good at moving stuff along. You have to move stuff along. So like, yeah, you can't sit there. Cause it would be impossible. And it's too chaotic to be like, well, that are good at that. It's an art. It's an art. It's really, it really is to be like, you give them a moment, they take a picture with you,

but then it's also kind of we got to keep going because it's just you. You'd be out there all day. Well, I mean, you just can't. Yeah, it's just impossible. It's just you can't do whatever because there's too many people coming up. But, I mean, he is a true pleasure, and if you met him, he's going to be exactly what you want him to be. And it's awesome to get to say.

I don't know if you get to say that about everybody, but I can tell you, you can say it for him. And we were with his assistant. His assistant, Kelly, has been with him for 14 years. I met her when I first, you probably met her when I, like first doing late night with Fallon. And she's still with him. And like we would, you know, we were even saying,

because I had Travis with me, I was like, do we need, like does he need any help or whatever? And she's like, no, he knows. He'll get out of it. He has to get out of it. Like he knows. It's what he does. And then she just, and he would just go through and take all the pictures.

And then we would kind of get going and walking and then, you know, get stopped a little again, do it quick, and then go and go. That's a long time to be his assistant, too. I mean, do you think she'll ever just eventually get promoted up to being him? Yeah, eventually. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess she's an assistant.

I mean, I think she's – She's probably BP or something. She's like, what? Well, she's just running his world yeah you know like i mean yeah i think it's you're above like you're not she's not an assistant like that she's uh i just like the idea of assistants are like someday you know i'll be you yeah that's funny now it's the sports coat is that for the after event or is that boxing attire that was for the after event we so we went to a –

I've never been to a boxing match. I don't know. Maybe you wear sports. No, people do. You think they wear – Yeah, why aren't you wearing boxing gloves? Yeah. When do you think that stopped?

Do you ever see old pictures of like baseball games in the 20s? Everyone's wearing suits and top hats. At some point, people just started wearing sweatpants and T-shirts. Yeah, I mean – It's like, when did that happen? Now, Nick still does it, but he looks amazing. Oh, now you're coming back from that old windblown hair look? Yeah.

Well, but you do dress. You're a good dresser. Yeah, I try to. And then Nick would have fit in in those times. Right. When they're people like in New York walking around the street. I saw some pictures and I was like, I missed that. I was like, I wish we did some more of that.

Well, the thing is, is you can get like this suit. If you were to wear this, you'd be like, oh, I feel like I'm wearing a sweatpants suit. I mean, it's, you know. It's stretchy and it's, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You feel comfortable in it and it just looks nice. Yeah.

I mean, I got in on the tail end of that. Back in my day, the NFL coaches still wore suits on the sidelines. Oh, really? Well, Tom Landry and he was end of that. Back in my day, the NFL coaches still wore suits on the sidelines. Oh, really? Well, Tom Landry, he was the main one. I wish that was more. All right, dude, you're just naming. You're like, you know, Lombardi. You know, Lombardi had a suit.

I remember going to a game, he's coaching college. And I'm like, oh. Like the coach from Notre Dame in the Rudy movie. Yeah. You got to remember, from Notre Dame in the Rudy movie. Yeah. You got to remember, his first year, he showed up. He said, I'm not going to wear a suit. And we got on him.

We got on him. You're too small to wear a suit, they say. Basketball coaches still wear suits. Yeah. But even that's getting a little bit more loose. Yeah. You could see him wearing like a – I think I like him wearing a suit. I'm still wearing a full uniform with the shorts.

Yeah. Pacing up and down. I would – yeah. I think I just – I mean, look, I don't wear a suit. But when I go on stage, I wear nice clothes. So you try to dress up. Like, it is you want an event. But, I mean, you really should.

I wonder what the dress code is for an NBA coach, if there actually is, like, a rule book. Because if I were an NBA coach, I would wear what the refs are wearing. You know, just to f*** with the other team. Like, if you could wear whatever you want to wear. This is a clean podcast. Oh, yeah. Shoot. Sorry.

Just to mess with the other team. Just a wild animal. Out of all the words, the worst word. Will someone mark that down? Yeah. Yeah. You're going to be cut out of this whole. That'll be the last one.

Yeah. It's a good idea, though. I like what you're thinking. I think Giannis Pop has cursed like 14 times by this point. So you're killing it by comparison. No, so far you're doing good. Giannis Pop has cursed like 14 times by this point. So you're killing it by comparison. So far you're doing good. Giannis was pretty bad. But not a bad idea dressing like a ref though.

Yeah. Now you're trying to get out of it and move on. Maybe it's your gold teeth that you can't. No, yeah. Giannis cussed a bunch. So you're sorry. I'm not going to do it again. Yeah. I don't want to. You were. It's not because of the rules. I just cussed a bunch. So we left. It's all right. I'm not going to do it again. Yeah.

I don't want to. You were. It's not because of the rules. I just don't feel like it. Now you're right. Now he's making a point. Now he's making a point. It's pounding over there.

I could have. It'd be funny. I'm angry the rest of the episode. Yeah. You go, the last few. When we say goodbye, it's just beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. You're just like, well, Nick lost it at the end there. Yeah, this whole Vegas thing was awesome, though.

I mean, obviously, it was a crazy, crazy event. They raised a lot of money. And I'm trying to think of anything else. How many people fit in that room, do you think? I mean, probably 18,000. It's that size? A little less than a Nate Bargetts show. A little less than a Nate Bargetts show.

Well, that ring is about twice the size of the stage that you used. The ring is bigger than the stage. I did my joke at the Ryman. I can say it now because I'm not going to say it anywhere. Yeah. So I did a show at the Ryman for Zany's, did their 40th anniversary show. And so Aaron was hosting.

And so when Aaron brought me up, I said, because I had a joke idea. And I said, I was like, say I just broke the attendance record at Bridgestone because I was going to have a joke. So he brings me up. He goes, this next comic, broke the attendance record at Bridgestone. Please welcome Nate Bargetts.

He brings you up. And I walked out and said, I usually don't do shows at this small of crowds. We're at a 2,800-seat theater. 2,800. Sold out. Sold out. Got a big laugh. Yeah, it was funny.

It was very fun. Very cool to get. We didn't talk about this, right? No. No, this just happened. Yeah, so everybody that was on the show, it was, I don't know, was that before? This was before. They waited until you left.

Oh, I wasn't there. We were waiting for you, and then, you know, you big-timed everybody, showed up later. Why was I late? I did not mean to big-time everybody. I know. Nobody thought you were. It would have been nice to have you in this photo. It would have been. I should have in this photo. It would have been.

I should have been there. It's not too late. Yeah, they could just put me in there. They could Photoshop you in. But you got one at the end. Everybody came back out. Yeah. I don't know why I was so far.

I was trying to. I was way off to the right. Because you had just finished your set. I just finished my set. And I was also trying to get away from James Gregory to give him. James Gregory is the legend, the been around for 100 years. So in that moment, you're like, that sounded like I'm trying to go. James Gregory had something, and I didn't want to catch what he had.

Now, James Gregory is, bless his heart, been around forever. So he's kind of like, you're just being like, this ain't about me, dude. Like, this is, James Gregory's the guy that's. Well, I had that when I came back out after his set. He was, like, getting a standing ovation. Yeah. So. He did good, though.

You backed off of him. Backed off and kind of let him. You have good proper, I noticed that stuff. That's an interesting. Aaron does have that. Yeah, I'm a big, like, you never leave the stage empty. Remember, get told that. Like, I like that kind of that stuff. That's an interesting. Aaron does have that. Yeah, I'm a big, like, you never leave the stage empty. Remember, get told that. Like, I like that kind of stage stuff.

And so when you walked out there for the James Gregory, because, you know, he needs a little help walking out and stuff. And when you noticed it, you backed off. And I noticed that. Okay. And then I liked that. Because it shows, like like appreciation for what – and I was trying to do that then, but then with no context, it looks like I'm just going like, I don't belong with these people.

And I should be my own person. Also, though, I want to talk about this waveform. You've got the – looks like the right hand up, and then you've got the left hand crossing. Yeah. Is this to say God bless America? Yeah. up and you've got the left hand crossing yeah is this to say god bless america yeah i would if you wanted to start if you wanted to swear me in to oath i could do it i'm always ready to be swearing

to i'll tell you everything uh yeah i always think i'm afraid to wave too high because i'm afraid my shirt's going to come up yeah so like i when i wave i was john john's confident well he yeah i mean if you his stomach's flatter i mean i'm so maybe you're even in a way you're kind of holding your shirt down oh my biggest nightmare is my shirt and isn't that everybody's biggest fear it's like the bottom of your shirt comes up and you're like you're skinny reality doesn't matter like you're but if you're not skinny you ever doesn't matter. But if you're not skinny. You ever see a fat guy fall over? The first thing he does is make sure the shirt's down below his pants.

Always thinking about it. I do that too. I was thinking earlier, is a nightmare too? Because when we were sitting downstairs, you were in the chair, and I just had a jacket laying over the thing. When someone tries to pull a jacket out and you're leaning on it, is that like a nightmare? Did that happen?

Did you pull it out? No, no, I didn't. Cause I, but it thought in my head was like, I would think if, uh,

if like you're sitting on something and you're like, I'm sorry. And then you realize, dude, you're sitting on so much of it. Yeah. Yeah. You have to lift up.

Is that, that's gotta be. This is kind of what happened on the plane last night is the person next to me rested their leg up against my foot. And I realized, oh, they think my foot's part of the plane. Yeah. So now at some point I have to move my foot slightly. Just let them know, hey, this isn't plane. Yeah.

This is me. And I did that and they, you know, it was like, you know, she just moved right away. Yeah. But yeah, it's like that moment of letting someone know like, hey, you're not actually on couch, you're on jacket. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like you have no idea you're on the jacket. And so then it's just like the whole room sees you go,

oh, you're just sitting on someone's clothes. But then when the jacket's pulled out, you're like, honestly, this couch was more comfortable with that jacket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to put it back. I think a kid could sit on a jacket, and you would pull it out from under them, and it's not a big deal.

But I would imagine, I'm just going off, if you're a bigger guy, you just don't want to be sitting on clothes. Because it means you just back down, and you didn't see anything. And then you didn't see anything. Didn't feel anything. You didn't feel anything. And when they pull it, it's like, oh, I'm sorry. And then if it's a corner, you're like, no big deal. But if it's like.

Yeah, it's all warm now. Yeah, you're like, I need you to stand up. You got to stand up. It actually got caught kind of in your belt. Yeah. Big guys have the same rules that mail trucks do about backing up. You don't do it if it's not possible. That's very funny.

You don't do it if they go, it's on you. Could you have that thing pulled up still? I got rid of it now. What is it saying? Here it is. Let me just see. The same as big as it goes. Am I backing up because I'm in a hurry?

Is there a safe alternative to backing up? Is backing up my last resort? Could someone be behind me, perhaps a child? That's a big one. Am I relying on lady luck? These are the questions you ask yourself as a big man backing up. Backing up as a big guy is a personal decision. Is someone behind me, perhaps a jacket? Perhaps a jacket. In most situations, you choose to maneuver yourself to avoid backing up. The

safety of others depends on you. Do the right thing. Avoid backing up when you're in someone's house. Yeah, what will I say to a grief-stricken mother who's just lost a child? Children live and play where you walk around, in the neighborhoods, in the houses you're going to. All it takes is one second for a child to dart behind you as you back up. As you're trying to sit down. Only you can avoid backing up. Man, look at that. That was great.

That was funny. That was great. Man, look at that. That was great. That was funny. That was great. Nick, I've seen Nick. My favorite thing is you can be confrontational is the guitar. Remember when we were flying and you put the guitar up?

Yeah. Because Nick will be – I love confrontation if it's not me, but I'm like kind of – I can see it. Front row seat to it. If I got a front row seat to it, Nick is one that's great. I've lately taken the back seat. Like a mom at my son's soccer game last week got confrontational, and I kind of egged her on to it.

I was like, did you see that? I mean, that was a handball. I didn't even – and I know that she's like ready to go. Yeah. Now I'm egging her on to it. I was like, did you see that? I mean, that was a handball. I didn't even. And I know that she's ready to go. Now I'm egging her on. Now you're doing it. Now what happened with the guitar on the plane? It's just having a guitar, traveling with a guitar, everyone from the car that you're in to once you get on the plane

is telling you, that won't fit on the plane. That won't. All the employees, the whole airport staff. And then when you get on the plane, they're like, oh like oh yeah you can put it anywhere you want right want me to hold it the whole flight i mean they don't care but but trying to like get it above you know the seats it can be an issue and yeah i don't know he was you were sitting there and you go uh whose uh suitcase is this or something yeah sometimes because you don't want it i've done that where you just touch somebody's suitcase you're like hey don't touch my suitcase. It's like, no, sorry.

So he's asking. He's doing the right thing. Whose suitcase? Is it nobody's suitcase? No one's answering. Yeah. And it's kind of an awkward thing because it's like he's asking and it's – we're all sitting there where you're like, it's somebody's. Yeah.

And that somebody is right here and no one's answering. And so he goes, well, I'm going to move it over just to the other side like just move it just talking to the to the void to the air so if anyone's listening i'm gonna move this over to the other side and he moves it over and then uh puts a suit and then then the guy's like that's my suitcase don't touch it you're like well i you've been at, he's been asking the whole time. Well, no, then I, and I, then you sit next to the, no, I, the guy goes, don't touch my suitcase. And I'm like, well, I already mentioned it, you know? And he was like, yeah, just put it back. And I go, I looked at his wife and I go, you want to talk to your husband about who she should be talking to? Yeah. Who he should be talking to. And it just got real quiet. It got real quiet.

And then he sat down next to him for the whole flight and Nate looked at me like thank you oh I loved it just an uncomfortable it was great Nick did the right thing, I mean he was asking

very politely, very nice very charismatic and then in the end I was an absolute jerk just can't Very nice. Very charismatic. You gave them a chance. And then in the end, I was an absolute jerk. Yeah. Just can't do it, can you? But that's better than the last one. You're going in the right direction.

You're working in the right direction. Yeah, we're going down. Yeah, we're going down. We're doing good. We're going to get you right. Our next partner is Athletic Greens. I think all of us are trying to take our AG1 by Athletic Greens every day. We all gave AG1 a try because we wanted increased energy

and immune system support for our busy lifestyles. We all try to take AG1 in the mornings before starting the day, and it makes us feel like we're doing something good to cover all our nutritional bases. I had it this morning. It's just the way to start the day. It's great. It's much easier.

You can attest to this. It's much easier to mix the one scoop of powder in water once a day than to take a bunch of different things. It's the healthiest thing you can do in under a minute, and it costs less than $3 a day. Can you believe it? minute and it costs less than three dollars a day can you believe it since we travel so often we also get this sorry sorry that's all right let it go together since we travel so often we also try to get the single serving travel packs so we never have to miss a day when we are on yeah that was good

tom yeah tommy Bowles coming in. I mean, imagine every time someone, he has to get up and go. 8 p.m. Yeah. 8 p.m. is tough. He's got to go to, he's like, I got to go to the bathroom real fast. I bet you do, Tommy Bowles. He's like, oh. Release the Bowles.

Release it. I recently saw an ad for a Nate Borghese t-shirt with Nate's name on the breast. I struggle with wearing some of the dude's name around, even jerseys of famous players. I make up a rule in my head that the person has to be older than me if I'm going to wear something with a name on it. I like y'all's take on wearing jerseys, shirts with names of others on them. I agree with the person, them being older than you so i guess i'm not older than him you can wear tom brady's jersey yeah yeah i can wear tom brady's jersey uh it's uh i do agree with you and we have our name like that's why a lot of the stuff we have nateland

too on some stuff now because it's like i do get it's like tough but it's some of it's like the tour shirt so it's a nate burgundy tour so it's like the tour shirt, so it's the Nate Bargetti tour, so it's like you have it on there. But I understand what he's saying. I mean, I'm wondering, he only has one breast? That's true. Well, name on the breast is kind of a weird way to describe it, I think. I wish he would have just said breasts.

Oh, he just said, but my name's only on one breast. Okay. It's not on the other. So it just says Nate? Yeah. Like it's a work shirt? Yeah. Nate Bargetti.

But it says your name. Oh, okay. So it says Nate Bargetti on the... I thought... No one... You didn't get it? No, I had that shirt. I love that shirt.

Yeah. No, I didn't. I thought it just meant across that. I didn't think... That's just a weird way to describe a... Yeah. I don't think he... I just thought he described it perfectly, Tommy. Yeah. I don't think he... I thought he described

it perfectly, Tommy. Yeah. Bowel movement over here. Yeah. Talking about breasts. Yeah. I thought he nailed it. Wear whatever

makes you comfortable, Tommy. I understand. But would you wear... I've wore the Titans jersey. You got Derek Henry. You got a Henry jersey.

But I wore it because they gave it to you. I could understand... Somebody gives you a jersey? Yeah Henry jersey. But I wore it because they, like, gave it to me. They gave it to you. I could understand. Somebody gives you a jersey? Yeah. Whatever. But I could see wearing it. If you have a Henry jersey and you're going to the game and you're like,

I don't know, some of the football jerseys, you're like, I would say if you're in the environment of the game, I don't think it really matters because it's like you're going to the game. Wearing it to, like, the grocery store, yeah, that's crazy. And then you should be – I think adults, you shouldn't be really wearing jerseys. You should be wearing them at the game, but don't wear them. No, I think the opposite. Wear them only in grocery stores.

You don't think you should wear them at the game? No. If you're – in my case, Derrick Henry could be my son. That'd be great if he was. He could be your grandson maybe. In between maybe. Well, what if they need you? Yeah.

You've already got the jersey. There you go. You're ready to go. Well, I mean, your age, you're just too old for jerseys. But you watch coaches wear suits, so. You probably could never get a new jersey. I mean, you would go to. It would be tough.

Dr. J. Yeah. Yeah, it would be tough. You'd go to a football game with a newspaper, one of those hats on, a little pencil. Keep the box score? Keep the box score. I would do that. Have you ever kept the box score?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. At a game? When I was a kid, yeah, I would go to the Nashville Sounds game and keep box scores. I mean, when I stole first base, the parent that was keeping the bug score had a race. You stole it from home? I stole second, and then I stole first. It's a whole thing.

It'd make you curse again. Corey O'Brien, while the last airline to ban smoking did so in the late 90s, you still see ashtrays in airplane bathrooms. The reason you see this is because of the few idiots that think they can sneak in a cigarette break in the bathroom. If they're dumb enough to smoke on a plane, you better bet they're dumb enough to start a small fire 30,000 feet in the air. The ashtrays are for that exact reason. Wow. So they're almost like saying it's okay to smoke. Give me an option, sounds like. I don't think many people are ripping cigs in the bathroom.

I think it's all vape now. Well, I think now it's all vape. And I think a pretty good amount of people are just vaping at their seat. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they just blow it into their shirt or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think now. But I bet people would go try to sneak a

cigarette in sometimes you miss that old stuff man that's a weird one like people smoking on a plane is people smoking cigarettes i'm not you shouldn't smoke i thought about that this weekend the plane is so small just to think that everyone was just ripping cigarettes back then you're like golly they crack a window they had a smoking section yeah they had they did have a smoking section it was in the back there's the yeah yeah was it walled off with like a no no no i think you smelled like cigarettes but i think back then you just smelled like cigarettes i think everyone yeah every jacket you own just the world smelled like cigarettes yeah yeah but there's something nice

about that it's like there's something it's the older i am i mean remember doing you were doing comedy in places that people are smoking yeah and i remember just being on stage and just seeing you would see the smoke rise and you knew all right i'm either gotta just wear this exact same thing all weekend or everything i own is going to smell like cigarette smoke all weekend. But there's something that you kind of miss about it. Like it's like an old school. Yeah, it's just the idea of it's nostalgic. Yeah, I think that's it.

Like if I see someone, like an old dude seeing his folks' cigarettes, I was like, man, good for you, man. Sticking it to the man. Don't smoke, though, kids, because, I mean, it was like good for you man sticking it to the man don't smoke though kids cause I mean it's not good for you but but

just be like when you see an old man doing it just be like you know just yeah tip the hat salute

it's like an old dinosaur you know you're seeing like an old dinosaur you're like there ain't gonna be many more of those left right enjoy it while you can

enjoy watching someone doing it while you can. Enjoy it while you can. Enjoy watching someone doing it while you can. Yeah. Jordan Chamberlain. Maybe Will Chamberlain's son. Yeah. I've been a fan of Nate's. Let's see if this comment scores 100 points or not.

I've been a fan of Nate's since Full Time Magic. He's up. I recently went down to Nate YouTube rabbit hole and saw a set at the Laugh Factory. When he was talking about Target, Walmart, and Kmart, he used a bad word. It was so strange. I'm just curious on his thoughts about it. It's funnier when he says, I'm not old money. So I'd love to hear his thoughts and his process of how he worked that joke.

Ooh, Nick, now it's on the other player. Oh, wow. Mr. Honey Mouth. I don't remember what I said. I think... Probably the I said. I think. Probably the SH word, I bet. It was the second word he used. Oh.

Oh. I'm not old money. I'm not a. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's what I said? Mm-hmm. I don't remember that.

Yeah, I don't like that. That, if I, I would have done it then, because it was like at Laugh Factory, and it was like you're not in front of a, you're in front of a crowd that's seen dirty. So, you know, it's like I would think like, I was always clean, but then like sometimes you would think like it's late. Not a lot of people like, I need this one maybe word.

And I wasn't good enough comic to think like that word just would get the laugh and i wasn't good enough comic to uh not i mean i was i could basically not do it i have another one yelled out by a clown where i'm like don't be a you know uh the one where you follow the person home yeah yeah it's one of my favorite jokes i know and that that one I asked my dad about. When I did it, I was talking to him. I go, I can't think of another word to say here. This word works so good, and I can't figure out a way to do it. And I told my dad, and then my dad, luckily being a comedian, basically,

my dad's like, no, I mean, yeah, if it's the word that needs to be used for the last, he's like, because I'm not using any other word. You know what I found is that if you actually just say the word as if you're saying the other word, because it's really the way that you're projecting the word that gets it. So if you say another word that in that same way, because usually when you, I think when people replace a word, they say it differently. Yes. They like go down. They're not as confident. They do whatever. But if you just come out with it,

because I did that with a word that I was like, there's no way that this is going to change. And it made it better. Yeah. Because now you're getting the laugh that it's not the word, but you're using the inflection of that word. So you're actually the laugh that it's not the word, but you're using the inflection of that word. So you're actually getting two laughs off something. And there's two ways you could do it. You could use the word that everyone knows. You could use a silly version of it that is like, oh, yeah, that's an old way that people used to say that.

But a lot of times you might not get the response. But if you just say it like it. Yeah. I've never thought of that. That makes a lot of times you might not get the response, but if you just say it like it. Yeah. I've never thought of that. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, but I could have said fire truck. You could say anything. You could have said snitch.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Which I should have. Man. I changed that exact word. Yeah.

Yeah. Just hit it with the same energy. Just hit it with the same just hit it with the same uh-huh yeah yeah it's tough it was uh yeah i just wasn't the comic to figure it out back then but thanks for bringing up that moment jordan yeah uh wow because golly there goes that hundred yeah he started the game with a hundred and then they found out he was cheating at the end he's like so you suck right yeah it was uh no no it's it's uh it's uh uh it's funny to i i that that one i always like try to say it's like that one and that y'all know about clown and i know that i have no, like the Laugh Factory sets,

you have no control over. That's the Laugh Factory posts that stuff on YouTube. So they have, so like some of that too was like I was doing a show that night. I'm not even thinking about it being filmed. And you're just, because, you know, it's like, I mean, truthfully in that crowd there's like 25 people there. There's not that many people there. And then they film it now it's now it's people see it so i like i would now now i would never like but if you didn't sign

paperwork you should just have him take it down i might have signed paperwork who know you know if he did it doesn't matter they would still take it down yeah yeah you know it's not it's not that, you know, it's, look, I'm not perfect. I am now, but. But then you are. But I was not perfect back then, but now I'm pretty perfect. Yeah. No. Drew Oglesby. Glad to see Nate's tour is coming to Denver soon.

It reminded me of the last time we performed at the Downtown Comedy Works location a few years ago. One of the openers was a local guy who had the exact opposite of Nate's clean style of comedy. The jokes were funny,

but he was getting very few laughs due to the content and language of his material. I'm curious if Nate remembers this night or if he has other stories of people thinking

it would be a clean show only to be surprised by one of the other comics. Nick, do you remember that night? do yeah yeah his name was nick something yeah uh well nick you're basically clean yeah besides right now but he was but even hearing this with everybody nick's always been you're basically clean you could very you're going out we're going out this weekend you'll be it's not hard for you to be clean. You're out of the transitioning of being clean, not clean. You're the easiest to do it because you've already always been basically clean.

My last five hours on the road that I've done, I've done totally clean. It's a great exercise, but also it does, when I see what it does for you and like the, especially like doing corporate shows and stuff like that. Yeah. And especially where your act is, is no, you're already clean. So it's like, just do, it was like Vecchione, like it was like, oh, like great. Like they would have little stuff here and there and, you know, but then it was like, you're just basically already there. Like just commit to it. And then that way you're do it but i mean do whatever anybody wants to when you do this stuff and they book an opener sometimes so i i just gotta ask i

just talked about it last night uh if you go see like if you go see aaron on the road we talked about you're not always going to get to bring your opener. You're not always in charge of who is going to get to, you're going to come see. So eventually you will be, but it takes a while to get to the point where you can bring someone. You can tell the club, hey, I'm clean. If people want to come out from Nate Land, they're going to like, and just so you know, like they're going to be tendency to be like kind of wanting a clean show.

That does not mean that the club's going to do it or whatever. There's a point in your career where I'd imagine, Aaron, you're at, where it's like you're just stuck in this kind of thing where sometimes you can bring your own person, sometimes you can't bring your own person, or you're definitely not going to have your own host. Right. And you're at a club, so you're trying your best to try to say it's clean

show totally but it might not be and uh i always think the audiences when you go they they understand that like you know they it's you don't really have a huge say in it uh i had a i i have them send me youtube videos if i'm gonna do local openers like let me just see i'll maybe prove that approve of them yeah but i had somebody recently i finally said this i don't know if you've ever had this where the um feature act walked off stage and i'm standing there and he goes they sucked and he's honestly he sucked that was what was going on and I looked at him and I said, don't ever tell a headliner that. Yeah. Don't ever come off and think I want your opinion on that audience, especially as I'm

about to step into an hour with them. Yeah. You want me to start off thinking like negatively, you know, and I, I've wanted to say that so many times to people because it's like, don't put your, your experience out there is not mine. Yeah. They're actually here for me. This is going to be different.

Yeah. Yes. But it was. I don't know. Yeah, I've had that happen too. I don't love it. Like, I think they're trying to. It's like, it'd be one thing if like it's me and you going up and saying something.

Because like when we've been on shows, when it's like you're a peer, like you're just like, dude, I don't know. I thought they were weird. Like, you're like, okay. But it is. When it's someone you don't know you're just like, dude, I don't know. I thought they were weird. Like you're like, okay. But it is. When it's someone you don't know, you're like, yeah, man. I mean, I don't – yeah, I don't want to go into it like thinking they're not good. And then usually they're awesome. Yeah, that was the exact case.

Yeah. I've had that from the opposite direction, though, where the headliners ask me, how are they? And I don't want them to think that I – if I had a bad set, I don't want them to think that I think that was good. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I find myself saying, I think they're just really excited to see you or something like that because –

Sometimes they are. They are. It may very well be true, but instead of saying they were terrible, and I don't want to really say I'm terrible, but I also don't want this guy to think I think that was a good set. It's hard. Also, the opener, you have to think about it. You've got to practice a lot, so you're nailing it.

I mean, I've had a lot of practice. I've got it memorized. What audiences look for in an opener is get me to the headliner. So you're battling against them just thinking you're okay. That's just kind of what they're going to think. You actually have to either be better than that or I don't know. I just see it over and over again where people will say like, oh, man, you should have been the headliner.

And it's like, well, no, I only did 15 minutes. That was really easy. That's not like working an hour, you know. It's a completely different thing. Yeah. I've had a lot of that too, where they're like, man, yours was so funny.

You're like, yeah, yeah. I was in a perfect situation. It's going to be very easy, but you also wouldn't have been at the show if I was the head. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's why I like when my show, like on the road now, like we have, you know, two to three openers, but it's like trying to build that where, you know, it's like the openers are – it's fun.

Comedy openers are different than music openers. I think music, a lot of people don't like always – I mean, some people do want to go see the openers, but sometimes people don't. But with comedy, you're like – I mean, everybody's doing like 10 minutes or something up there, like 12 minutes. So it's like you get to watch some comedy. You get a shot. That's the thing is you get a shot to do great. You kind of have to. Well, the audience, but I mean, yeah,

what I'm saying is like, oh, when I go out now too, is like we just filmed, we're filming this right now at Zany's, the showcase where the day this comes, well, no, no, it won't. It'll already be over. But we just did one last night at Zany's. Dusty hosted.

Aaron's hosting tonight. And then you're hosting the next night. And then it's all like, I mean, a lot of comics that are like, they actually have credits and tour and headline and stuff like that. But it's comics that can be clean. And we did it last night and it was awesome. And so the whole, it's like, I just tell everybody, like I said, TV clean, basically. And it's, we filmed last night and it was just, I mean, I was, I had so much fun.

And it was, I'm not on it, but like you guys are on it. I directed it. But it's just so much fun. And it's just like, I just want like, you know, the audience that listens to like comedy, it can get like being accessible to a lot of different ages. It's a good thing for comedy. And people want to laugh. I mean, that's why Laugh USA and those clean, serious ones are like,

a lot of people listen to that because they want to hear – because comedy is very easy to kind of listen to. And it's just nice to listen to. I mean, long drive, you just hear, and you're laughing. It's a very pleasurable thing. And I like when we go out, it's like they have openers because it's like yeah it's like then everybody can see you're seeing it it's like that's part of the show like come watch the whole show and you're going to just sit and relax and have fun and know that you're going to have fun and you get to see everybody

you know stand-up shows are more set to be a whole show yeah than it than a music show because in a music show they do like a half hour between they reset the stage you know right yes yes yeah yeah it's just like once the show starts it's like we're rolling this episode is sponsored by better help uh it can be hard to balance things uh or your time and uh spinning on other people you need to do a lot of stuff for a lot of other people but you also need to take care of yourself and you need to talk about your stuff uh stuff that you're going through stuff that i think both of you aaron and dusty should have to talk about y'all need y'all got something wrong with you and you should go talk

to someone about it you're right uh we spend you spend, you know, if you're doing stuff, I believe, right, you're doing a lot of stuff for a lot of other people, and it's easy to not think you have anything to worry about. But the more you want to give, the more you need to kind of be able to give. And so you don't stuff I work on is like I can take out stuff on other people that shouldn't have it taken out. But for some reason, it's building up. And then you just send it in a direction that it's not fair for it to be sent in.

Therapy can give you tools to find more balance in your life. Better health. You have podcasts. You have interviews. We're filming stuff this week at Zany's. There's a little more stuff at home. Yeah, but like my son even. I'm like, how many –

I see all the people picking up the kids at school when I go. And it's like, how many parents do you think pick up their kid at 2.30 and give them their full rest of the day? Like, I don't have to go to work. We're from 2.30 to bedtime together doing fun stuff. That's awesome. And that's like the way to do it for me. Yeah, it's a different, you travel a lot, but I mean, I don't know a lot of business guys

that travel that will leave on a Monday and go somewhere until Friday and then they come home and they just live on the weekend. And some of it is because they want to raise their kids here instead of somewhere else. And so they just, that's just what they have to do. People have to travel and then for work. And that's always a tough. It used to wipe me out a lot more too. I used to come home and be like, it's like that coming home from camp feeling where nobody around you experienced what you just went through. And like, no one's like, you know, helping you walk into the grocery store

anymore. And then you're like guys i'm really tired you know like i i want a nap like i usually get a nap now yeah yeah this is weird yeah when i come home off the road it'll be uh i mean now that like harper's 10 you know the the kids start getting busy or they want to facetime their friends or all this kind of stuff. But, like, we'll be around. Yeah, you're just, you know, a lot of it is being around. And then you're kind of just hanging out. Yeah, we're all here.

Yeah, it's great. I don't know. Raleigh Allen. Allen. The first comedian I ever even remember watching was the Red Skelton on a VHS With my grandfather when I was around 7 years old Why are you looking at me? Because there's a shot at you

At the end of this comment I'm now 28 I was wondering if you guys remember the first comedian you ever saw on TV Or in person or in Brian's case Maybe an AM radio station Now I see why you're looking Brian was Brian was at that taping for Ed Skelton.

I vaguely remember my parents watched Johnny Carson, and I'd be on the floor playing, and I feel like this was George Carlin. Wooden toys? It could have been. Yeah. It could have been some wooden toys plastic really a rocking horse yeah well they didn't have couches yet yeah yeah this was late 70s yeah early 80s um i feel like it was george carlin although the joke i'm about to tell doesn't sound like a george carlin joke but i'm they're playing they're watching them you know

whatever and he said something about you ever been at the grocery store and you look in someone else's I'm about to tell doesn't sound like a George Carlin joke, but they're playing, they're watching them, whatever. And he said something about, you ever been at the grocery store and you look in someone else's cart and then you're like, ew, you eat that? And for whatever reason, as a seven-year-old kid, that really resonated with me because I've seen other people's food. Yeah. And I thought that was so funny. Yeah. That's the only part I remember.

Yeah. But that's one of the first jokes i remember little things like that'll just stick because i got it as a kid like yeah other people's food is gross and then when jeff foxworthy's album remember where he's like a bachelor talking about like what a bachelor home was like compared to like when he's married i don't know that yeah that was really good that hit me mine was sinbad afros and bell bottoms yeah. I remember we were allowed to watch that. His McDonald's, someone waiting in line to order a McDonald's menu and just being like, how do you not know what this menu is?

And stuff like that. And just he would act it all out. I remember that. I remember my buddy had a CD player who was sitting outside the school. And a couple people had headphones on, and they were just howling, laughing, and like, you got to come listen to this. And I put it on. It was Jeff Foxworthy doing You Might Be a Redneck, just running through them.

Yeah, I remember that. That's the funniest thing any of us had ever heard at the time. I thought yours was going to be like something embarrassing. Like for us, for being older yeah like yours you know you're like i remember listening to bill burr yeah that was early on daniel tosh i remember one of his albums on limewire yeah what if i were like a dude matt rife you know i just got me in the car yeah someone brand new you're like gollylly, dude. Yeah, Daniel Tosh is very funny. So funny.

I remember he had a joke about a poker game with all the world leaders, but you can only bet with what your country's worth. And he's like, wouldn't it be great being America? Uh-oh, Costa Rica's going all in with 15 coconuts. Oh, man. Dude, I laughed so hard at that yeah he is so i've never met him his stand-up but he is his stand-up he's very underrated and never met daniel well you we were talking uh earlier about the mystique he's a guy i know nothing about his personal life i don't know

his views on anything yeah i never see him on a podcast he just he did uh um i remember hearing this back when i was doing a lot more comedy clubs but he he was they were like yeah tosh doesn't do radio yeah it's like when you had to do radio all the time yeah it's like yeah he just that's part of his contract doesn't do radio yeah yeah because he was selling out but you know that was also Also, his stand-up was so joke-heavy and really well-written, long pieces. And in a way that, like, you know, Bill Burr can take that angle that is, like, shocking. He was doing that. I mean, Tosh was doing that, like, majorly. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, saying crazy stuff. Yeah. Yeah, he was very, saying crazy stuff. Yeah. Yeah, he was very, yeah. He's very, very funny. Obviously. I mean, everybody knows that, but I just think he gets a little underrated. For sure. Because you don't see much of him, but man, he's great.

I was born, Terry Weaver. I was born in Alabama when I heard that Aaron was from Alabama. It made me start thinking a bit. I've been able to trace my father's lineage about nine generations back to Germany where Peter Weber, pronounced V-E-B-E-R, Weber, left Germany and came over to the United States. Somewhere along the way,

my father's line of the family tree changed the spelling and pronunciation of Weber to Weaver. I wonder if Aaron may know much about his own lineage. It's at least interesting considering the origin of both of our surnames as well as our Alabama roots. No, I don't know a whole lot about that. I will say I'm more likely to think we're not related,

that we both lived in Alabama and didn and didn't know he didn't know each other and once chose to change their name the other didn't yeah yeah that would be if you were from a different part of the country i think there'd be more of a chance i don't know if that makes sense it doesn't be uh yeah yeah to me i would know somebody from my own family if i lived in the same state with them. Yeah, but I mean, you could—he's saying, like, but you don't know cousins. You know when someone finds out someone's related, and it's like, you're like, oh, dude, we're— I always remember, like, Vince Carter and Tracy McGrady were, like, cousins or something. Me and Wayne Denton.

Oh, yeah. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I mean, I was saying the— His dad's best friend. Yeah, yeah. Our family—I was talking about my McDonald's Happy Meal story where they didn't give me a Happy Meal. Yeah, yeah. saying the – His dad's best friend. Yeah, yeah. Our family, if that's all right, my McDonald's Happy Meal story, where they didn't give me a Happy Meal.

Yeah, yeah. The Dentons. Wayne Denton and Bates are cousins. Distant related. Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. That's insane. Yeah.

Are they related to the family in Yellowstone? The Dentons? I don't think so. Maybe, though. I didn't watch Yellowstone. Yellowstone? Yellowstone. Yeah.

Laura's watching Yellowstone. Yeah. I'm not watching it. Laura's going through it. She's in season three. She's going through it really hard right now. She's really going through it. She's going through some Yellowstone right now. Yeah.

So I hope we answered that. I don't think we did, but yeah, yeah. Sorry, Terry. Maybe we were related. Terry, let me ask you this. Did you have money or – because the – The Wiebers. The Wiebers.

Aaron, the Wieber family is loaded. Yeah. So, yeah, we'd be interested to know if Terry – he may have grown up on the wrong side of the track. Maybe your family wouldn't allow his family to come over. Right. They were like the ne'er-do-wells. Yeah. Here we go.

Kelly Jonas. Hello, folks. I'm a newer comic-do-wells. Yeah, here we go. Kelly Jonas. Hello, folks. I'm a newer comic, and I want to make a career. I think it's Kyle. Kyle Jonas. Hello, folks. I'm a newer comic. Still nothing like Kelly.

And I want to make a career out of comedy. I've been constantly doing well at the open mics I go to every night, but I want to take things to the next level. So my question, is having a social media presence with a large amount of followers necessary for a young comic to get over at clubs or can you get yourself to a paid regular spot without social media even in today's world thanks for all the laughs and hopefully the advice i do not think that's possible with social media i think it's horrible that that's the truth it's so it's so not a thing that you signed i signed up for when i became a comedian um but right now the way things are going i mean

we you guys i don't need to i don't want to like mention his name again but you guys mentioned someone earlier who's like really getting a lot of heat right now yeah he did a show before me in vancouver and they were like at the same venue and they were like women were throwing their phone numbers on stage yeah you know and it and it was like it was not and he's really funny he's such a good kid but it's like it's jeff foxworthy yeah yeah but you know it's it's like yeah that that's how it happens now. That is the only way.

That's all the clubs look at. How many followers? Can you post a post every day promoting your shows? Yeah. Yeah, it's a completely different game, and I'm definitely happy I started when I started. Me too. And I wouldn't want to go back.

Look, all that being said, I think you can still be a great comic and can get stuff. I really do. I think you do need a social media presence. I do understand all that kind of stuff. But, I mean, if you can focus on your comedy and really be great at it and be funny, you could just – I mean, even if you're just posting – your social media presence could be just posting your stand-up clips. That would be the easiest. You don't have to go have a personality of, like, whatever. But I know a lot of people do, like, the crowd work stuff and all that stuff.

But I think if you just post actual clips of stand-up, like, you could do that. The problem is that they're being seen way too early oh yeah yeah and it you shouldn't be seen that that young you know like that's what was good about our time like i i had to get a spot at the improv before anyone you know like close to being important saw me yeah and now like people or assistants are combing through Instagrams and TikToks and forwarding them onto the – But I don't think it does people a service because it's – Kyle, I would tell you – No, it doesn't do good for them. Look, I would tell you, as a newer comic, and if you want to make creative of it, it's like you just go to the open mics, go every night, keep getting – just keep writing, keep getting better.

Yeah, social media is going to matter and it is going to do stuff if you if you if you don't want to have to create an act for social media then i would just say just film your sets and post clips of your sets up on your social media just your stand up and then that way it's like kind of a loose way of being on social media instead of having to like have a persona. Because I think writing to be a character on social media, that's like going to take you away from writing your jokes. And stand-up's not going to – you're going to end up not like – like everybody doing these crowd work videos and stuff. Like, I mean, is that what your act's going to be?

Like, you can't, you know, if I think to get the quick jump is the social media grab of it all. But to get to a level where you can tour for the rest of your life, you're not going to be able to do it with crowd work. You just can't. You're not going to be able to play big places doing crowd work. You just can't. It doesn't work. You can do clubs. You can go headline clubs.

I'm not saying that's not a bad thing. But to get to another level, you have to have an act. People are buying a ticket for a professional act. And so if your act is always just crowd work, that's going to work for a little bit, but I don't think it's going to work for a long run you have to you have to have when you know i mean when you go see harlem globetrotters there's that's an act you're seeing something that's designed to be like there's it's so good because they practice that thing everything they don't just go let's see what happens yeah you're buying a ticket because I'm going to watch a professional act.

Now, if you're at a club, yeah, it's much different. Like at a comedy club, the crowd work stuff or the whatever, that can be – it's a very looser experience. Tickets are cheaper. There's a lot of stuff. It's about the vibe in the room. That's great. But if you're trying to go past that, you got to have an act. I read this.

I saw this Reddit that, like a subreddit, where somebody posted like a crowd work clip, right? Yeah. On their social media. And then somebody commented on it. I was in the audience. No one suggested that. He just said it as if somebody did. Yeah.

And then like crowd work you know but it was like it was a pre-written thing that he's had set up yeah a lot of crowd work is like you gotta crowd work becomes an act because there's only so many times like you know where are you from uh you know san diego all right well if I've done comedy for a year and done a lot of comedy, I've probably had someone from San Diego. So, or somewhere near San Diego. I probably have a joke that I remember saying. What are you, divorced? Here's my divorce joke.

Yeah. What are you, a biracial couple? Here's my biracial joke. Here's my, like, everything. There's only so many people in the world. So, you're like, at a crowd, there's only, you have kids? Yeah. You don't have kids?

You're not going to get stumped. You're single? Wait, your name's Jason? Yeah. Here we go. Here we go. Say goodbye to the next hour crowd. We're Jason, ready to go.

Yeah, it's, and look, and people that do it are great. Like Big J. Big J does the crowd work. Big J is one of the funniest people I've ever been around in my life. Big J's very dirty. But he had a clip on his thing where a guy falls down. Did you see that? Yeah, I did. And it's so funny.

The guy broke his chair and he just stayed sitting on the ground during his show. And he goes, your chair? He goes, oh. And he goes, I'm doing to you what my biggest fear is, is someone calling out that a fat guy broke a chair. And then he goes, hey, man, you got to get a chair, or you're going to just sit there on a broken chair? And it's so funny. But Jay's very dirty, that being said.

But Jay's, like, people are great at crowd work, and they can be, and there's, like, Todd Berry, another one, great at crowd work. There's people that can do it. Ian Bagg is, like, unreal at it. So there's levels to it. I'm not trying to trash crowd work, but I think if you're a younger comic

and you're seeing that that gets to clips, I don't, I mean, you're going to feel the sudden rush of just like, wow, a lot of people notice you, maybe some stuff happens, whatever. But if you do not get an act, it's going to, you know, I mean, there's eventually people are going to get over crowd work. This is the Dat Fan Syndrome, right? Where he won the last comic standing, and then the first one, Comedy Central threw him

on tour. And after the second show, he wasn't the headliner anymore because he didn't have over- Because he was too young. He didn't have 20 minutes. He killed it on the show. And that was kind of the first way of putting comedians that got famous off of something that quickly without material, like TikTok or whatever, was last comic standing. Because he beat Ralphie May, who had been a headliner for like a decade. Yeah, who could headline everywhere.

And then that fan was – but he was great on the show. And so it like worked out that way. Yeah, I mean, you get around. When people start spending money on tickets and stuff like that, they want a show, dude. Like, they want, you know, you can get people to come by to watch whatever and then come see you. And, you know, it's more of an event. It's kind of a fun thing. But that won't last.

And I don't think it'll last. It works with your age. So the people your age that are into this kind of thing are very fun, but then once they have kids, once they grow out of it, that's what I would tell comics. Do whatever you want to do at the age that you're at, but you need to grow with your audience. If you don't grow with your audience, there's a point you become old,

and then your audience is not going to be the same. People your age have families and kids. So there's a world where, well, a 20-year-old's not going to go watch a 40-year-old that is trying to act like a 20-year-old. Because it just doesn't feel weird. He's like, well, I'll just go watch a 20-year-old that's doing what I like. He's talking about what exactly I want to hear about. But you need to be able to grow with somewhat your audience. Your audience is always going to be a little bit younger than you.

I think a lot of people come to mind, but it's like they relate to, they're relating to whatever the stories are. It's talking about family. It's talking about very. Well, yeah, it like i i used to feel like insecure about doing a bit about kids like when i first had a kid because i'm like what about all the people that you know but i used to be like i know some of you guys in here have kids and some of you guys were kids and you know i probably know about kids you know so this will affect you in a

different way yeah yeah yeah either from the kids perspective yeah yeah but everybody in the audience you gotta like depending on the venue you know you can get trapped to newer comics can be when you leave the new york or la scene uh it's an audience is it's all of the country which is my big thing with you know they don't make TV for the middle of the country. They make it for New York and LA. That's why so much stuff gets no views and no one talks about it because it's too specific to just everybody out there just making these shows that are just like – I mean, you don't even live – you live in a different world.

Like everybody else is just at home going to school, and they're not thinking about all this stuff all different world. Yeah. Like everybody else is just at home going to school, and they're not thinking about all this stuff all day long. Yeah. Good luck, Kelly. No. And say hi to your brothers for us. Yeah, the Jonas. Well, we could probably get rolling.

We've been talking for a while with these oh you know what I always say life moves fast Starbucks ready to drink coffee delivers an uplifting boost that can help you tune in to the moment that's a tough noise sorry

just want to show my Starbucks here. Rotate that around again. Let me hear what that sounds like. Oh, you're doing it so delicately now. There it is. It's Starbucks coffee conveniently packaged for life on the go. The bottled Frappuccino coffee drink is inspired by Starbucks cafe favorites. It's chilled. It comes in four awesome flavors, mocha, vanilla, caramel, and coffee.

How do you say caramel? Caramel. Wrong. My favorite is the caramel flavor. I usually start the day with coffee, especially when I'm recording a new podcast episode. The Starbucks Ready to Drink Coffee is an easy way to get the boost I need to conquer the day and nail another ad read. Starbucks Coffee, ready for right now. Shop the full lineup online or in store. The information from Fox got released. Oh, yeah. And all the emails and all the North

Korea stuff and all that. So when I was doing it, this is what happened. So when they sent me a copy to watch it, to go through it and edit it, it was like I would have approval to watch it. I would only have it for two days, and then it would just disappear and go away. So they were super strict about it, so they were like, you can't film it. So I was able to show my family and stuff, and I'd have to watch it. And I filmed some of it on my phone, like a couple little scenes of it. And I wish I would have just filmed the whole thing, but I was nervous about breaking the rules.

And now looking back, I would have just done it. But at the time, you're and now looking back i would have just done it uh but at the time you're like well i can't like they're not gonna let me like i don't want to get in trouble so i don't really have it i have a i have a couple clips though maybe let me just see what happens if i would show let me ask i want to make sure like i could show some clips but i also don't want to show clips and then then I just get – y'all are going to see. Yeah, welcome to – we'll have 40 ads in this podcast because I'm paying back 20th Century Fox $70 million because I showed just to make Noah happy. And Nick, you did a pilot with Matthew Broderick, right? Yeah, yeah, a long time ago.

Where could we see that? Nowhere. Nowhere. Yeah, you can't – I mean, I've done so many pilots. Yeah. I'm like up at the George Clooney pilot level. Yeah. Can you say what, like Matthew, when you felt like it wasn't going to go good? I mean, there was definitely a moment where we did the first take of the live taping.

Yeah. And the whole scene is just me and Matthew. It's like we're meeting each other for the first time. And I'm this big. And I'm all over the place. And it's a live audience. And after the take, I was just alive. I felt like my body, my blood was pumping.

And I was like, man, wasn't that amazing? And he just like looked at me and he goes, I'm just tired. And I looked over and I was like, somebody get Mr. Broderick an espresso. You know, because that was also a bit that him and I had been doing all week about like getting each other espressos. And I thought he was kind of doing the bit. And he's like, I don't know, man. It it's just like is this thing good oh wow i was like well i don't know if this show's gonna go but uh yeah and it would have went it was i don't know if it was on him there was a few things about it and yeah that show was crazy because pat and oswald was

the one cast in my role and they then he they left or whatever yeah and then they they cast me and I never met Pat before that and then he sent me a Facebook message yeah saying like congrats I thought it was the coolest thing yeah we've ever done yeah that that's how brutal that world is I've been on the other end of that I've been fired and then yeah yeah what do they do they just come up and like I got a phone call less than 12 hours before taping a CBS pilot that said, hey, man. My manager goes, hey, buddy. And I'm like, he never says that. You can always tell when your manager's got bad news.

Bad news and good news. You can always tell. It is like a marriage. You can just go, well, you don't talk like that. And then you know something's about to happen. Hey, buddy. marriage you can just go well you don't talk like that yeah and then you know something's about to happen buddy yeah it's like i know if like if it's like hey so-and-so is also on the line i'm like oh this is good news yeah but this is just your manager saying hey buddy yeah somebody and your doctor's on the line yeah we patch nick's doctor and so we found a lump yeah in your career yeah

and it's growing and it's bad yeah and it's bad um and it's this pilot and you're fired yeah yeah yeah and i remember i just i went on a walk after i got that call so what do you say so they so so you just to give people that don't know about the pilot you audition as an actor you go audition for the pilot. I didn't audition for this one. Oh, you didn't. This one was starring me and TJ Miller. Okay. And we both got offered the show as a duo together. And yeah, they called and fired me. And then they ended up postponing the shoot.

And then they hired a blonde Australian dude to play my role. And then it just didn't go like most shows don't go. But it was a really funny book, this author. Anyway, yeah, it was. But I remember on the phone my manager he's like yeah buddy they're gonna recast you you know and and that's not the word fired you know i'm like oh does that mean i'm fired and he said yeah but they're gonna still pay you okay you know well uh i'll call you later you know it's one of those like i, you sit with it, and you're just a failure.

It just was the worst. Yeah, yeah, because you're, I mean, you're, that's the hard part, is you're, like, either about to be famous, and you're so close. And I'm not, not that you're doing this for famous, but just that's the easy way to explain it. You're looking at it like, oh, I'm about to be famous. Or you started calculating your episode rate compared to if it was like picked up for a 22-episode season. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Well, that's the hard part. When you do a pilot, they negotiate all that. Your first like three seasons usually before you even shoot the pilot or anything before you even sell the show so you have no leverage at all there's so much none they're they're like and so just so you know in the third season they might use your face as the main face depending on how your character goes or and you're like what yeah i'm oh they're like yeah they're like third seasons you're probably gonna own helicopters and you're like this is crazy dude i mean that's that's my first pilot i did was with

kelsey grammar and he showed up in a helicopter every day really yeah wow that frazier money yeah yeah because you mean you you had the option of like i'll be wondering yeah how many shows if people knew that's what people always say that they should do a network where it's just like pilots that didn't go. Yeah. And just because they're just sitting, these networks are just sitting on pilots. Pilot after pilot of famous, famous, famous people. Yeah. That did not go.

Like, why would you not just start a network and they all agree, we're just going to pump the pilots on there? We're just going to pump the pilots on there. I've been on a pilot before that the week before they announced which pilots got picked up, Variety posted an article like the for sure's, and ours was the picture they used. Of the for sure's? Of the for sure's article. And we were the only one that didn't go. Dude, I know what you mean. Like, it feels. It's just a failure.

I remember I emailed or I texted or something Zach Galifianakis, like, because I was really down, and he was always so nice to me, and I know he'd, like, gone through some failure stuff too. And he was just like, yeah, man, I've already been fired from, like, 30 things. You'll be fine. Yeah, yeah. I was like, okay, okay, okay. fired from like 30 things you'll be fine yeah yeah it's like okay okay okay yeah it's it's just uh

if you another one advice if you're in this business or if you're trying to get in whatever it's like you just got to keep going ahead that's all everyone's going to try to make you quit no one wants you to make it i do know somebody once who was this this girl and she's like really great and really but she wanted to be an actress and just like she put up her snl thing on like online on youtube and it just was not yeah you know it wasn't good and but she was friends with like some actors you know and one of her friends that was like a big actor got morgan freeman to call and leave a voicemail on her phone because she was considering quitting and Morgan Freeman called and like left a voicemail that she had that was like never give up and I'm like yeah you should have like at least let him see that SNL

because now he's making somebody work when they shouldn't be yeah it should be like hey you should give up on this you know like, you're great at other things. You're great at being a friend. Yeah. Well, self-awareness. Self-awareness is the most important thing you can have in anything. And people don't have it. And then that, like, they don't, that person doesn't have it.

No. And then they're going to have a life of misery. But if you don't quit and you're nice, you'll be fine, I believe. Yeah, I agree with that too. If you're a very nice person, people want to be around that. There's a lot of times you can be around comics where you're like, they cannot be funny, but you're like, but that guy. It's a running joke that you go like, how's his act?

You're like, he's the best dude. Yeah, you just go, that dude is the best. But you could be like, yeah, I'm not, you know, but he's the best dude. Yeah. Yeah. You just go, that dude is the best. Yeah. But you could be like, yeah, I'm not, you know, but,

but he's the best dude. And there's, there's roles for the best dude that, and that's like being a producer when their best friend gets a show or do, you know, like they're the support. They're the one that is there being the best dude. Yeah.

Yeah. Uh, he on, uh, no, no go. No go. Heian Ngo. Ngo. Hian Ngo. Is that right?

I don't know. H-I-E-N-N-G-O. Ngo. It's Vietnamese. It's pronounced. I think the N's silent. Ngo. Ngo.

Ngo. Ngo. I was totally wrong. Ngo. I like that. That's a good last name. Especially saying it like that. He-an-N-G-O.

He-an-N-G-O. He-an-N-G-O. That's a good name. He-an-N-G-O. No. Oh. I was supposed to say no. No.

Do you guys watch The Mandalorian? No. No. Some. No. Because that would make you laugh. Oh, really? Yeah.

I'm a big fan of Nate. My question that I would ask Nate if I ever got to talk to him is how he's able to hang with all of the comedians out there. They are astronomically dirtier than Nate. They all drink and God knows what. Get crazy and really go at each other. I just wanted Bobby Kelly's podcast. I just wanted Bobby Kelly's podcast and Nate arrived with Louis, Joe, Bobby, and Dan. How do you relate to 99% of the comedians out there because all of them seem to really love you?

Well, that's very nice. Notice that. Look, you just, I mean, I started with those guys. You just be yourself. Everyone that you mentioned, Louis, Joe, Bobby, Soder, Jay, all of them, they're exactly who they come off to be. So everybody gets along when no one's being fake. And that's what it all boils down to. When someone's fake, then that's the person that doesn't fit in.

But they accept me. Look, I thought a lot about that at the beginning. When I first started, I didn't want anybody to know I was clean. I was always clean. I never mentioned it, never said anything about it. And I mean, that's what I kind of want now. Even like when people listen to this podcast, we talk about being clean more now than ever. But, you know, it's like the people listen to this podcast, it's like if someone's listening

to it, you should be able to listen to this. This is what I want to do with clean comedy is to go it you don't even have to say it's clean it's like it's just comedy dude like this it's done this way just like there's it's done that way and i know it's just easier to kind of like go this one's clean that was dirty i understand that but the idea of it is like you should be able to like listen to it even if someone was dirty you shouldn't even think that if you think, oh, they're dirty, that's not always the best thing. You should never be, you should be like, they're funny. So I started with all of those guys.

They took me in. You know, I mean, Bobby took us a lot on the road. Soder, Lewis was probably right around, Lewis was with me at the very very very beginning Bobby was older List came in right after and Soder came in

right after but barely right after I just was moving in and we all just became super close super friends and I was just clean

they never no one ever cared you know I had told I took Lewis on the road once at college and I was like you got to be clean like i'm getting this kid because i'm clean i don't i'm i'm nobody and like you know and so

i was like but they they you know they're supposed to be clean loose like i can be clean and goes out and just because they told me to be clean but y'all care about that and of course everybody goes no and then he's just dirty and then get a, they write a letter to the school apologizing for Lewis. It would have been much worse now than it was. Giannis once got it. We did a college and they had a, they had a sit-in. Giannis, we might've talked about when Giannis was on the podcast. He said something and they had like a protest. But this was back-

Because of what he said? Yeah. What was it? I think someone gave someone a name. Someone was maybe Hispanic, and he made up a Hispanic name or something. But everybody laughed except that person. Right. Whatever. Yeah. And then the next day, they had to sit in. name or something yeah but everybody laughed except that person right which whatever yeah

and then they the next day they had to sit in but this was back when it is like there's no social media it wasn't like it was now so like your sit-in just really just happens at the school it was in that paper it could have town's paper it could have been the other way around though where the person that he did it to laughed and then everyone else like didn't think it was funny because that, oh, that was a fan. You know, like it's like, like I have a joke about a one-armed lady and people have been like afterwards, like, hey, you should probably shouldn't tell that people. I'm like, you know, the you know, the people that have told me they love that joke or like the five one-armed people that have been at my shows.

Yeah. Like that's the best joke I've ever heard. Yeah. Because it doesn't offend them because that's just they're just you have a lot more one-armed people than most you'd be surprised you don't know how many people have one arm in your audience yeah words getting out too they're coming to hear you gotta start doing these jokes so you find out yeah that you that's your most relatable joke that tell me one-armed people in your crowd is saying this lady uh she was upset because she left and that's when yana said that uh john lund the first ever fact machine aka the printing telegraph was invented in 1843

abraham lincoln was assassinated in 1865. The samurai were officially abolished in Japanese society in 1867. This means there was a 22-year window where Abraham Lincoln and the samurai could have been faxing each other. That's crazy. How did they invent a fax machine then? Yeah, I'd like to see what kind of- I'm guessing it worked a little differently than the ones we think of. Like, what did it do? A facsimile machine? Yeah, like someone pulled the paper through, then they had to run and get it on a boat,

and then land and hand them the paper. There's no way that printing telegraph... No, it's the same way that they... Printing telegraph. Here it is. It looks almost like a piano, yeah. But it couldn't have been that. It's like radio waves or whatever that you are just probably doing like the same.

Yeah. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And then it transcribes it for you. Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to decide. Do we want to go over those poll results or do the top? Yeah, let's just do the poll results. Okay, save this again?

Yeah, yeah. All right, yeah. Yeah. All right, so. So we've been doing an animal bracket. Yeah, we've got this bracket here. Someone just sent us this bracket. We did not go through and make it any better or worse. They didn't think we'd dedicate three months of the podcast to this.

Yeah, we're just getting started. They truly assumed we would just move on with our lives. But we have, I've enjoyed it. We've had a lot of comments about it. Do we have any – We've got more comments. I mean, at the time of this taping, we're just on YouTube, 420 comments. And I think it's the third most ever comment-wise.

Number one was when Mark Norman was on. Yeah. Number two was the Calgate. Most of those were directed at you. Yeah. And then this one. Yeah. But there's about four things that everyone's saying,

which if we go over these poll results, we could just cover them. Yeah, I should cover something up top. I'm taking a lot of heat for how I said the word wolf. Well, that's one of them. If you want show last week yeah i i said wolf wolf the whole episode people lost their mind oh yeah i didn't even notice it yeah yeah and y'all are like why didn't they correct them i didn't know i said the word incorrectly but now i'll be thinking about it the rest of my life wolf wolf there's. There's an L in there. Who did the wolf fight?

The wolf took on the cheetah. This was the closest one. Do you have the poll results? I do. I have the wolf. The cheetah and the wolf. The cheetah won on Instagram. The cheetah won 55-45, according to the fans.

These people are crazy. I disagree with that. On Twitter, the wolf beat the cheetah, 54-46. That's who. Okay, you think the Twitter people are smarter? Yeah, which one had more votes? Instagram, I don't have the number there, but there's a lot more people on Instagram. Yeah.

It's like if you were to watch a pit bull against a cat. It's like, yeah, take the dirtiest dog and put it against. I took cheetah last week but based on people's feedback i've switched to wolf yeah oh man what a man of principle over here yeah i listened to the data and i i'm open-minded enough i heard what people say and i want the most people to like me so i switched over to wolf well the cheetah dude i pulled up that picture of the cheetah's mouth and nobody was swayed by that at all. I mean, it's terrifying looking.

But like you said, a dog versus a cat. No one would think a cat can beat a dog. Well, yeah, we're talking about a very specific type of dog and a very specific type of cat. I mean, that's a- Yeah, the scariest dog? Yeah. A wolf is not even top 10 scariest dog. And cheetahs aren't even-

A wolf is- Hyenas, coyotes. Wolves kill hyenas. Yeah. Oh, dude. Coyotes are more. Oh, that's the other thing. What are you talking about?

Coyotes are like a pet. Coyotes are like small wolves. Yeah. Coyotes are. Coyotes are a pet. Coyotes are picking their kids up at school. I mean, they're, you know. Coyotes say they're wolves.

Just not a lot of respect. No, I'm actually a wolf. First of all, the cheetah. So, I mean, we don't have to relitigate this whole matchup. I know it's been, but a cheetah could just outrun the wolf. But outrunning something doesn't have anything to do with fighting it. It's about winning. They don't have endurance, though, I think. They actually, like, can run really fast.

They actually have a lot. They do not have great endurance. But you're not going to need a whole lot because the wolf is. So, they'll just run really fast. So, they're fighting in the- As they're running? In the Roman Colosseum. The Roman Colosseum. That's how we're visualizing this.

And then, so yeah, the cheese is going to run around for a while, eventually get tired. I just imagine the wolf in the middle just kind of just like waiting. Yeah. Are you done? You need to keep running? And then just goes over and just rips it apart. It's like nice spots. Now, everyone was really obsessed about the way he's pronounced.

Well, some people, hyena, the way you say hyena. Hyena. Well, that sounded all right. Hyena. I think you were living out a syllable last week. Probably. Hyena, or maybe I'm saying hyena. Hyena.

Hyena, maybe. It sounds like it just looks like an accent. Hyena. But that was a very close one. I mean. Yeah. Now, what was that matchup? I think everybody should understand if I mess up something,

I don't think it should be common at all. Yeah. Yeah. I think a lot of people did let it slide. Yeah. Yeah. I think everybody. I don't think anybody's even, they expect more out of you, Aaron.

There was one new guy I'd never heard seen before. Yeah. He goes, hey, you're saying hyena wrong. You're like, yeah, dude, are you not? He doesn't know how to read. Yeah. But Aaron would expect more. Aaron went to college.

Did you go to college, Nick? yeah any uh a semester of community college yeah that's what i did that's why y'all are friends yeah but i didn't get accepted or anything i just my i uh did you remember taking the placement test where they're like hey um we just want to know what you know so we don't like you you know yeah and i just kind of skipped through that not really thinking and i showed up to my first day of class to english 072 which i realized like five minutes in was english as a second language class so you know based off my placement test they thought i was fluent in a foreign language. It's pretty cool. The teacher's like, I don't think you're supposed to be in here.

I'm like, eh, I think that's my call. I'm going to hang out. I feel like a leader in here. And they just nail it, dude. Yeah, finally. Yes. If Nate was in that class, how many days before they caught on? Maybe this guy.

They may never catch on. They may never, yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't know when to say. You get a B minus. What's the? I got a non-complete in all my classes, and NC was my grade. Oh, dude. NC.

What is it called when you use like don't and? Contraction? Contraction. God. Yeah. Thank God they don't have those in Spanish. Yeah. Yeah. Spanish doesn't use contract just

spanish has contractions they don't probably use contractions i've been blanking on that name contractions i dude i've i've i was going to say it a bunch of times in a joke and for some reason i knew it was con something but i couldn't remember what it was. Never looked it up. Never asked. Thought I'd do it publicly. And then I've just been sitting there, because I usually get contractions out. Like when Laura writes something that I have to read, a lot of times contractions, I'm not good with contractions. You do not. I need to say the whole word.

I mean, I don't think I've even heard or said contractions in a long time. I know. You don't say it as much. But you do it a lot. But you do. Everyone does it a lot. Everybody does it a lot. Yeah.

Everybody does. But I won't. It's like allergies, you know? Pretty good timing. What's that? So I said it's like allergies. You get them, but you don't understand them. You don't know what you have.

But you know you got it. But you got it. Something feels wrong. Something is not right. Something's not right. I wish I could put a finger on it. I get it. There's another one, Polar Bear Tiger.

Wow. This was pretty consistent on both social medias. I think they all took the side of the polar bear except for nate nate wanted to fight for the tiger i was leaning tiger first and then i got swayed yeah i just don't think this one's close man people just point out polar bears are meaner than grizzlies they're they would be a grizzly in a fight but a grizzly i don't think they would i think a grizzly bear would beat a polar bear. I think it's the opposite. Look up just grizzly bear beat polar bear.

I think that polar bears are more apt to attack humans. I think they have fought and grizzly bears have won. Grizzly bears are very aggressive. This one says when it comes, this is okay. Wildlife Boss says when it comes to a fight, grizzly bears are more likely to come out on the winning side due to their larger size and more powerful jaws that can exert over 1,000 PSI of bite force. Okay, grizzlies have an omnivorous diet, whereas polar bears are exclusively carnivores.

Omnivorous means they mix both? Yeah, why is that? I don't know. Why does that matter? That doesn't seem like it. Well, I think that's why polar bears are more dangerous to humans. Yeah. Because they'll eat you. But if they had a like it. Because, well, I think that's why polar bears are more dangerous to humans. Yeah. Because they'll eat you.

But if they had a fight together. Well, look at this. This is actually a study conducted in 2015 found that grizzly bears were dominant when competing with larger polar bears for a beached whale carcass. So they've actually seen this. Thank you. All right. But that's not what we're talking right now about a polar bear versus a tiger. But that adds into our we're talking right now about a polar bear versus a tiger.

But that adds into our element of this thing. Because this is what everybody's saying. So everybody's just knocking off a tiger like a polar bear is drinking Coca-Cola. Yeah. A grizzly bear is just much more aggressive. Type in for polar bear in a tiger fight just to see the scientific. There was an occasional one that would say a tiger with those big claws, one swipe, it'd be over. The polar bear has an advantage.

I think we did look this up when we were talking about it. The polar bear is any metric, power, jaw strength, skin thickness, the polar bear tops the Siberian tiger. The Siberian tiger is faster faster but we already argued we've already concluded speed means nothing in this it does we've already concluded that we're in the roman coliseum who cares about speed type it cares about maneuverability you could uh speed matters if you were you know like there's two different kinds of speed there's like if you're a swordsmith like or swords whatever they call you quickness if you yeah if like if you're quick like that or but or running you know like yeah what uh type in uh uh polar bear what type in polar bear wait

no uh cheetah versus wolf see we didn't look that up. No. We're going to look up some. They're about the same size. The cheetah has the advantage in claws that are much more effective weapons than a wolf's claws. Additionally, a cheetah can generate force with each bite compared to whatever that means. This thing doesn't know what it's talking about. They're about the same size. They both get up to about five feet long they both weigh 160 pounds the wolf has short claws but strong jaws with sharp teeth but that's what the cheetah is the fastest laying animal in the world but they are speed hunters not fighters a wolf's a fighter

dude but also wolves are in packs you know so maybe one wolf against a cheetah a wolf might be like hey where's the other guys you know yeah we talk about that the lone wolf yeah it's literally a lone wolf now is the wolf is it a gray wolf the one that we're looking at i think i think so we're saying that yeah i think we're just saying a common all right you know dime a dozen not impressive at all yeah wolf we're not doing black wolf. We're doing a gray wolf. Mixed race wolf. We're the most inclusive. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. You want to go to another one? Yeah. We talked about a platypus versus an anteater. Wow. Okay. This one really got people fired up.

Maybe even more common than his wolf. Yeah. Platypus, as so many people point out, they have venomous hind legs. Wow. So we did not mention that last. point out, they have venomous hind legs. Wow. So we did not mention that last, we didn't know that, but we picked anteater. Yeah. But they're saying platypus has venomous hind legs. They would use that to defeat an anteater.

I don't even think the platypus gets an opportunity to do that. How thick is that anteater's skin though? Yeah. Well, it's got to be, I think the anteater's going to realize something's going on when the platypus is taking a long time to turn backwards i don't imagine they're quick i mean he's like he's coming backwards and he's like you better not be there like he backs up like a mailman yeah yeah he backs up like a mailman danny is like what are you doing dude and he just keeps walking in front of him and that's all the platypus has got because he needs to be like no no get behind me let's start like this yeah yeah i am curious how they use that in a fight the

venomous hind legs but i guess they know how i think it might have just been the male platypus oh okay so does it matter what sex these animals are? We'll have it be the venomous hind legs. Okay, we'll let them have that. But, yeah, I don't know. I mean. This platypus just looks so weak. What about their hind legs?

It can't give it. Because I'd imagine, because it's in water. So they would swim. So if the anteater gets in the water, then it's going to be in trouble. Look at that guy's hand. He got caught a little platypus. He got spurred. It's not that big of a – they're showing a guy.

It's like he missed half a day, and he's back to work. I mean, it's not – It's not like poison. It's not like a snake. People think scorpions are going to kill you, but scorpions are just venom. It's like getting stung by a bee. Yeah, yeah. That's how this is.

So the anteater is just so much more powerful. But I don't know. I mean, I thought we had a close argument last week, and we finally went anteater, so that should be enough to sway it the other way. Here's a good diagram of where that venom comes from there. A little dispenser right there above the claws. I'm still going. A lot has to happen for that.

The pod poster, you got to imagine. Bastards backing up. Look, I think it's going to be a good fight. I think it's going to be worth the price of admission. It'll be a better fight. I think people think it's not going to be a good fight, and the people will be like, wow, that was actually one of my favorite fights. Yeah.

But the anteater comes out and wins. Okay. The next one we got up here, we got an eagle versus a barn owl. I mean, we went eagle, no problem. I think Dusty tried to fight for a little bit for the barn owl. Not even close. He did. There was a big occasional comment saying,

you don't know how mean Barn Owls are. And somebody sent us a video of a Barn Owl swooping in and stealing an eagle's baby from the nest. It was pretty crazy. But, I mean, it's pretty dominant. Overall. Overall, people like eagles. 89-11 on Twitter.

I mean, that's pretty much a consensus. Is that a whole thing about bald men getting murdered by owls? Have you heard of this? I have a joke about it. You do? Eagles. Eagles. Oh, I heard.

Oh, not owls. But I have a joke about eagles. They swoop down and hit bald men in the head. Oh, that's where I. Yeah. You're still doing better than that. I think I now remember where i heard that yeah yeah i'll tell you all about it yeah well it's all it's also the uh the the owl theory is with that

documented staircase oh yes that's it yeah yeah that's where they because when you hear that you're like i remember when i first heard it joe zman on his new special when it comes out, Greg Warren's special is out right now. Go check that out. Joe Zimmerman's special is coming out soon. He has a joke about that, the staircase with the owl, because they kind of briefly talk about it. And then you're like, there's a lot of things that sound like, if you watch the documentary The Staircase, there's things in it where you're like, dude, this owl could have really been what happened. It seems like that's what happened. But, I mean, there's other cases that you go, well, no, it's not.

They found owl feathers in her hair, microscopic owl feathers. Yeah, but, I mean, that could come from just they have a lot of owls in the backyard that could be, you know. I don't know. Is this a murder or something? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's a writer. You think it helped me have done it?

Yeah. No, that was like a theory. It's like a fringe theory that started on Reddit. Oh, okay. But they mentioned it when you watch the documentary, but then they just very briefly mention it. Then they move on from it, and they don't really talk about it. So you have to go to Reddit to look it up and be like be like well why are they not talking about this yeah as an option but the thing that hurts the most is the guy also had another lady die downstairs yeah yeah and that is his other

ex-wife yeah his other ex-wife fell downstairs and died so all that being said, you're like, it could be the owl. R, insane. Like if an owl and him are in court, and even if the owl did it, it's a picture of both of them in court. Owl's in court. This guy's in court. And the judge, and they're getting- The owl's got that one.

He's got the one. Yeah, because they tell him to dress up. Because he's got the monocle. Yeah, he's got the monocle because he's going to court. So he's in court. And the owl is like, I totally got this lady. And then the guy's like, I mean, there's owl stuff in it. And the owl just goes, show me where I've done this before. That's all he has to keep saying he goes hey uh

real fast what happened where's your other your ex-wife coming to this she's not because she also was pushed downstairs i mean you have no chance yeah and then he's like they the stairs are also on trial yeah the stairs didn't show up well you know what's crazy about that documentary is that the filmmaker and the guy who it's about fell in love while making it but the filmmaker and the guy the person who filming the documentary is supposed to be an objective documentary and the guy being accused of murder fall in love yeah so when i found that out i was like well that kind of makes the whole thing seem he sounds like maybe he was just trying to tip the scale a little bit like yeah this you know get her to like yeah did uh uh she'll really push this out

here did they did but he went to jail is he in jail he's in prison yeah yeah are they together still or they're i don't. But they had a relationship. And they show that in the show? No. It came out afterwards. Yeah. It's presented as this kind of. Now, if she gets murdered by an owl while he's in jail.

Yeah. That's insane. Let's get that guy out. Let's get him out. Let's get him out. That would be wild. What if like one of the. Yeah, three.

One of Joe Biden's pardons yeah this is the owl guy and he just goes well he had i mean we saw the documentary we saw the document we watch it i believe it's not joe exotic he's still in jail running for president running for president in jail did anybody uh was there another yeah there's at least one more isn't there uh yeah oh yeah so this is so nick we had we had uh a lion versus how people said we said emu wrong too they did but i don't know how you're supposed to say it um somebody somebody in australia said a mu oh We're not going to trust them. A mu. They say everything wrong down there.

We say e mu. E mu. And they say e mu. E mu. Oh, that sounds wrong, dude. It just sounds like saying cell phone or cell phone. Yeah. Now, well, first of all, those are results. They still picked the line even with emu with a gun.

But you've got something going for you, Nate. Many, many people pointed out that in Australia in the 1930s, there was a war against the emus, and the emus won. Wow. They were taking over, I think, a lot of farmland. It was becoming a real problem. They call it the Great Emu War. And the Australian government, military, went up against them and lost.

Yeah. So – Wow. What strategy did the emus use? So they know how to use a gun. Maybe. Yeah. I meant to look that up.

Did you – So we had it. Great Emu War or something. And the emu has a pouch in his neck. So then I claimed that the emu has a gun, and he fought the lion, and he won with the gun. While a number of the birds were killed, the emu population persisted and continued to cause crop destruction. So they were just tearing up farms all over Australia. That's a military operation. They couldn't even do it.

This is big time. Now, the war lasted one month, one week, and one day. And then the Australian government surrendered. And they go, you know what? Our country animal is the emu. That's what happened. They probably just had to give in. Yeah, yeah.

And the emus go, I want to probably just had to give in yeah yeah and the emus go i want to be on your flag and they go all right will you not eat all our crops they go we're back off the crops yeah a little but we're back off the crops but you have to treat us a little more respect we lucked out having an eagle yeah we could have had the emu you could add an emu so they were already having problems and then 20 000 new emus showed up because they they migrate after their breeding season so they just started coming in and drove i mean tearing up farms that's the thing emus are i think maybe that's why i say emu that's probably where they're saying i. E-mu, I say mu. E-mu. So this is the guy that invented emus.

And there's a... What a great idea he had. Yeah, such a good idea. But so with this background, what is it? Go ahead. Okay, so the first attempt, right right they had a group of soldiers and they found 50 and the birds scattered so they were difficult to target they ended up killing perhaps a dozen out of 50 and they're armed with guns these emus are evasive that's what i mean

and now it has a gun yeah so we had the emu was a pouch, and no one frisked the emu's neck, and it has a gun in the pouch, and that's why he beats the lion. So it's hard for him to get the lions. It's hard for him to get them, and he has a gun. So that's why the emu still wins with the gun. I'm looking for numbers of how many they killed. And okay, so right here. The bounty system instigated in 1923, 57,000 bounties were claimed over a six-month period.

So listen, human beings took out 57,000 emus, and they still were just like, we have to give up. Yeah, but who won the war? The emus and they're still were just like we have to give up yeah but who won the war the emus you yeah they were you might have won the fight they won the war they spared 57,000 in a row and they're like they don't care barely a dent yeah yeah apparently they're making a a comedy movie about it with rob schneider that's supposed to be produced this year. And all those emus are in heaven with 72 Birkins. So heaven might be crazy. Crazy amount of emus. Like, hang on.

Yeah. Yeah. Look, I think the emu still wins. He has a gun. Yeah, I mean, we're not changing it. And then I don't think I did the poll, but the orca whale, excuse me, killer whale versus great white shark, everyone said. There's a lot of video out there of killer whales killing great white sharks just for fun.

That's what we said. Yeah. I don't think we all said that. So we got that one. A killer whale is a problem. I've interacted with one. Oh, wow. One of your pilots?

No. One of your pilots that didn't go? On YouTube, if you look up nick thune interacts with a killer whale wow um i was in canada and uh these there was like four babies and i was crabbing and this thing was like that close you know it seems like no big deal but like i can't believe i'm looking at a killer whale kind of feeling. Dude. And then it just keeps coming closer. Is this you filming?

Yeah. Yeah. That's getting very close. Wait. Right now, it's like, oh, wait, where is it going to be now? Oh. Uh-huh. I'm in like a 16-foot boat, by the way.

And it just goes ahead and goes right under my boat. Wow. It reached out. And then now is just like the silence of like oh my god when i mean it could flip your boat no problem yeah and then all of a sudden are you freaking out at this yeah i was like short of breath i didn't know what was happening are you by yourself no my uh my my ex-father-in-law was in there that's actually what caused the divorce the orca the way he handled it versus the way you handled it uh then it just went away you didn't see it anymore uh no then we actually ended up seeing it for like the rest of the day oh really yeah like it was just around but apparently so but

the reason that it did that is because we were too close to the babies. So it was like letting us know like, hey man, you know. Yeah. But we weren't, we were there when we saw them. It wasn't like I was encroaching. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I'm surprised that he didn't get that.

I know. It's like, hey. And then, yeah, he should, the killer whale should have been like, he's like, yeah, obviously dude, we know the babies are here. I had just pulled the crab thing in too too, and it was right over that edge. And I was thinking, what if I was halfway with the crab and the killer whale just caught a hold of that? Yeah. You'd be gone.

Wow. That is crazy, dude. Is it just like so seen that close, you're just like, they're so big. Beautiful. Oh, God, it was so gorgeous. And then you feel how small you are and how quickly everything could have just ended. He could have just flipped you over with his tail and just went about his day. That tail got so close.

Yeah, wouldn't even go to jail for it. No, no one would try to find him. No. And they're probably tough. By the way, great camera work, too, I would say. It was pretty good. It was good camera work. I I would say. It was pretty good. It was solid, good camera work. I'm definitely scared.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. But you got to get those hits on social media. Keep rolling. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I look forward to getting back into the- It asked me to tag it afterwards. It said, hey, can you tag me? Yeah. Well, you know how they are. We had one comment saying, please don't do animal fights. It's not funny. But I'm not saying that they're necessarily... They signed a waiver.

We're not saying necessarily that they even die, but they just fight until one of them taps out. What did somebody say? It was inhumane to... I think that's what they were implying. Yeah. Well, I gave an emu a gun. Yeah.

So... It seems fair. I think we're... I don't think... I don't think anybody's taking it very serious when I have an emu that I can't pronounce with a gun. People aren't supposed to be concerned

about animals killing animals. Yeah. That's just what they do. That's what they do. Yeah. But I guess in this situation, we are- Forcing them to- Grabbing them and dropping them in the Roman consulate.

No, they're all- I mean, what do we think? This is like a Russell Crowe situation where he was put into slavery and then- Yeah. No, I think these animals are signing up and- I think they're signing up. There is prize money. We got a hold of their agent and said-

The pride of their species is on the line. Yeah. We saw your lion's tape. Looked good. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. We'd pride of their species on the line. Yeah. We saw your lion's tape. Looked good. Yeah. We'd love to see him in the ring. Yeah. I agree.

Yeah. Everybody's there for their own goodwill. It's like acting like Mike Tyson got forced into the ring or something. Yeah. It's like, no. Yeah, it's like that. He was born to do that. These are the UFC fighter animals of their group.

This is what they want yeah that's a good way to think about it and that every country's being represented that's right it's like the olympics yeah yeah it's true now that would be interesting though if it was like if it was like okay a lion that knew he was in there against a reluctant tiger who's like i didn't sign up for this you know that's a different type of fight well you feel bad for the lion because the lion is pretty shocked that emu was allowed to bring a gun in and so but that was that was a big uh i didn't know we could have guns yeah and i said and i think going forward there's a lot more frisking yeah and a lot more yeah they they they

did not they frowned upon that. Yeah. He's not going to be able to do it again. Next round. Next round, they go. I mean, they're going to... Do we know who the gun

was registered under? No. That's a good question. That is a good question. I think the serial number was filed off. Yeah. Yeah.

I think he... Maybe got it from some sort of a fake buyback program that it ran outside of 7-Eleven or something. Yeah. Well, that Cheetah and Wolf, did we give it to the Cheetah? I think we did.

Oh, you just switched it. I think we ended up giving it to the Wolf. Now, you've been hyping up this Wolf the whole time, but just know that it's got the emu in the next round. By the way, what is that Wolf doing with its- The emu didn't have a gun. It's just stretching a little bit. It looks like its feet are up on a table, just like- I know.

Yeah, it's trying to look cute. It's a dog. It's a pet. It's just like a regular animal. The Cheetah is a warrior wait are we we're switching it no we everyone agreed on the wolf except me i was like last week we never definitively i thought we said let's sit on it and yeah oh yeah but wait so now it could be wolf against emu does in the emu does it have the gun still no now it fristed well we're, we, okay, that did happen. The judges were not happy with that.

Okay. But, I mean, he gets to keep going. Yeah. But, I mean. Well, because the lion's dead. The lion's dead. It's a shocker. I mean, it is blown.

I mean, people. He killed it? He killed it with the gun. Oh, yeah. I mean, people are blown away. I mean, Vegas. Especially the lion was blown away. The odds of Vegas are, I mean, you know, they're like, do we even have to pay?

Right. Because of the people that bet on the EMU. I mean, he had a gun. One guy bet gun. Yeah, Vegas, the odds at Vegas are, I mean, you know, they're like, do we even have to pay? Because of the people that bet on the EMU. I mean, he had a gun. One guy bet gun. Yeah, one, yeah. Yeah, so, yeah, it's going to be tough. So we got some good matchups coming next round. We got some good matches coming. We're still working through the first round of this bracket, though.

I can tell you, I'm going to try to make the opposite of what everybody says. And you did a good job. I mean, you convinced us to vote for the emu. Well, it had a gun. Well, that's convinced. It had a gun. It's a form of convincing. We could also rattle through this and do the real answers and be done in one second.

So, or we could have a good time and give an emu a gun. Are we not going to do one right now? We can do one right now. Let's do, what you, let's see, go down. Let me see what it is. That's a fun one. Elephant and a rhino. Now, we've also pointed out, Nick, it's not like a college basketball,

16 versus 1. Whoever put these together seems to put two pretty similar animals in the first round against each other. So, some heavy hitters going out in the first round. Yeah. There are some bizarre matchups in this. Yeah. Is that a baboon versus a turkey? Let's do that one.

We'll do that one for you, Nick. I've actually been around a baboon before. Oh, wow. Let me look up nick through interacts yeah it is they are scary yeah because they they look they're walking around yeah basically yeah like they look the way that this one approached me it looked like like the way that a basketball player would approach like a dunk on a dunk contest you know like they know what the hoops is where they're gonna jump and yeah they are yeah yeah they're very human like a monkeys make me uncomfortable just how human

they look yeah i don't like looking at them you go to the zoo you're just a little well it's odd isn't it i mean it's odd that they're they got those butts. Yeah, they got a lot going on. Oh, geez, dude. Yeah. One just yawned in the video. This is just some baboons running around. Baboons, yeah. I forgot the name. Contraction. And the baboons, yeah, I think baboons are mean, dude.

I think baboons are mean, but I think turkeys can be mean. Look at the way they're scaling that wall. Yeah. And there's no walls like that in the Coliseum. So a big, here's, you may,

you may, you may, you may, you may give me some turkey stuff. Well, go ahead. Okay. I gotta go to the bathroom.

If I go in here, will y'all hear it on the air? Yeah, probably. So I should go somewhere else? Yeah. All right, y'all keep going. All right. All right, see ya.

Finally get the podcast good. Turkeys are dangerous. Turkeys are dangerous. So I would say... Here's something that I wasn't even thinking about, the fact that turkeys can fly. That's going to change the way this fight plays out. Because the baboon's going to be climbing up on stuff.

Domesticated turkeys, they don't. Well, we're talking about a wild... We're talking about a wild, I mean the meanest wild heavier imagine these animals have competed in their own prelims we got the best of the best going on yeah i like to think it was adopted by a domesticated family but it's wild yeah that could be true i mean so it's been it's learned you know i don't know got an education right right right it can hold its own and fly up to 55 miles per hour these turkeys can fly wow so yeah golly that's crazy they sleep in trees they can change colors yeah you know how like pitching how like this year somebody threw like

108 miles an hour yeah you know uh are turkeys just always going to be at 55 or are there some that are doing new things going maybe getting up to 60 that's very fast their eyesight covers 270 degrees i mean that's like great vision great vision have three times better vision than humans. Yeah, so that means that their eyes are protruding. Yeah. So that could be actually bad, though. The baboon could just knock one of those eyes out.

Mm-hmm. That's a tough stat there at the end. 46 million turkeys are killed every year for Thanksgiving. So it's just like, yes. I'll be honest with you. I'm not a fan of turkey. For me, I've always thought this. It is not the star of the show, Thanksgiving meal.

I'm a ham. I'm the sides. Honey baked ham for me. Honey baked ham and sides. I'm not a turkey person. I don't like turkey. I don't think turkey's ever good. I've had it good twice, I think.

Yeah. We're reading. I've had a good twice, I think. Yeah. We're reading, this is a list on the World Animal Protection website trying to get us to eat less meat. Well, I won't eat turkey. There you go. We're doing our part. Yeah, we're doing our part.

Yeah. I mean, look at a turkey fight. How they attack. I guess they just got their beak. beak we got a wild turkey fight here oh yeah oh man good guy you got two turkeys going at it they're kind of right now they're going yeah do something do something yeah do something yeah i mean i'll be honest with you the fact that they they can uh here's let me they're kind of just wrapping their necks around each other right now. So I'll try to argue for the turkey.

Okay. So the baboon, everybody's like, this fight's done. The baboon even is arrogant about this fight. Because the baboons are very arrogant. I agree. I mean, they're arrogant as they come up to people. They don't care. So he are very arrogant. I agree. I mean, they're arrogant as they come up to people. They don't care. So he's very arrogant.

The turkey, it's like people are not even coming to this fight. Like they didn't even, they're not even buying. This is the first fight of the day. Yeah. People are showing up late. They're like, I'm not going to waste my time on this fight. It's pointless. That baboon goes in.

He's just like walking around and hides up. He's doing a lot of showing for the crowd. They're very showmanship. Yeah. They're very like, ah. He's like, yeah, climbing the walls and stuff like that. He did not do his due diligence on turkeys. Do not realize.

So he climbs up pretty high. They say he goes to the crowd, climbs up. I mean, he's, they're showmen. He's putting on a show. He's putting on a show. Nobody knows that they can fly. Up to 55 miles per hour. This turkey flies and gets going fast and then just knocks the baboon off,

and it falls to the ground and then just comes down 55 miles per hour and just lands on it and just ends it well what about the baboon because the bab you know like a lion in there it could jump but it's not going to be able to climb like baboons can climb that's what i'm saying it gets out of what if but what if it gets like out of the ring and it like climbs up one of the banisters that's what i don't know if you were listening when i was talking no i was watching the turkey fight. It was exactly what I was saying. It was to a T. I'm saying the baboon.

I can tune out again and pitch it. The baboon has climbed up the Coliseum because he's putting on a show. No one's even showing up. It's like when a wrestler stands up on the corner of the because he's putting on a show. Like, no one's even – He's showing off. It's like when a wrestler stands up on the corner of the ring. He's doing all that. The crowd is mostly full of other baboons watching bad boys. Like, I mean, you know, humans are not even in there. It's just basically all baboons have bought these tickets.

And they're all in there, and it's like it's climbing up the walls, and it's putting on a show. And he gets pretty high and starts, like, climbing across the walls and it's putting on a show. And he gets pretty high and starts climbing across the top and just kind of like, because the turkey's chasing it a little bit, so he's just kind of mocking it. It's kind of a funny idea, too, if no turkey showed up and it was all baboons. Yeah.

No, no one expects. No, you just said that, so. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, the teeth,. No, you just said that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, the teeth, I mean, everything is saying this baboon is 100% going to win this fight. But I'm saying the arrogance of the baboon is he's not taking it serious. And none of us, we are blown away.

You're saying hubris is his fatal flaw. That a turkey can fly 55 miles an hour. I mean, did anybody expect that? No, I had no idea. And that's what happens. I've never thought of a turkey flying, I'll be honest with you. I thought they were like penguins. And the baboon gets high up on top of the Coliseum.

He's climbed up. He's on top. Crowd's going nuts, to be fair. Because it's all baboons. Yeah. It's all baboons. So the crowd's going crazy. and he's up there going, and the turkey's just on the ground, and they're all laughing at the turkey.

And the turkey just starts running. He starts running in circles, getting some speed going. They're quick. He's getting some speed going. And then lifts off, and at 55 miles an hour, he gets this baboon quick, and he just, boom, just hits it off the top. It flies. Yeah, with his claws and hits it.

It falls to the ground. This calls CM hundreds of feet in the air, falls to the ground, and then slams on it, and the turkey kills it and wins. And people are shocked. They're more shocked than the emu with the gun. Because a few people expected the emu to bring a gun. They were like, you know, I've been around these emus. Few people knew about the war in Australia.

So they go, the emus are very gun heavy. So the turkey, I mean, the baboon, just its arrogance caused it to fall. The baboon that they sent in might have been like, hey, this is just a turkey. Why don't we send in this guy? He might not be the best baboon. Yeah. Well, I think they picked one baboon. But I think the baboon, he's like, I'm going to have fun on this fight because this shouldn't even be a fight.

Right. And he's really preparing for who's he fighting next. He's looking ahead. Right. He's looking ahead. Right. He's looking ahead to the next round. He's going to fight the winner of a— Two whales. Two whales.

Yeah. And that's tough. He's been water training. He's been water training. He's going after whales' eyes and stuff like that. He's just not even remotely thinking about this turkey. It's a waste of his time and the baboons on the top mocking it the turkey starts running in circles gets going hits him off it is the

baboons i mean it becomes a you know what i'll even give you that the baboons in the crowd then go kill that turkey a mob a mob of the baboons go kill that turkey so the winner of this fight we just end up having being a baboon but it's not the original baboon yeah because the baboons but what we the rules are coming down now we have not liked what's going on we had one and then we bring a gun and the turkey won but the baboons in the crowd but the baboon advances the baboon advances because the baboon didn't attack that turkey and that's a shame and that's and that shouldn't have happened and i mean as as the the point i am you know i'm the uh roger goodell of this i go i am ashamed right now i but we never saw this coming it's

booed everywhere i get booed everywhere i walk out i go i didn't see that coming i go an am ashamed right now i go we never saw this coming it's booed everywhere i get booed everywhere i walk out i go i didn't see that coming i go an emu with a gun i i go we frisk these animals it looks more on you now i know yeah but we know you knew i know but then they're like why did you let all the baboons get the tickets i go no one was buying the tickets no one wanted to watch this fight well it's like a two for one band they just buy them all up you did two for one he goes I was just trying to move some tickets no I don't think it's that I think it's the opposite I think it's like a K-pop band

baboons are such big fans they'll just scalp them all up yeah they'll use game time yeah and then they'll get the seats they want yeah but I say for the next fight

the baboons and no baboons allowed to watch the baboon fight well last week you said there's no gun what are you doing you're we learn things we learn as we go we learn as we go on this you know yeah well you learn as you go okay you realize what fun is right i know but you're a commissioner commissioners can't have fun they gotta have some rules here i know but i'm making up the fun as we go you realize that we're trying to have a good time here and even we got a gun i've just made

the bamboo go ahead where we got pita coming after us yeah we're trying we got a lot to work yeah we can also not do this and just not have any fun but i'm saying the baboon moves ahead dusty will be surprised on why the baboon moved ahead i agree he's not going to realize that the turkey did win yeah but the other baboons got involved and then they just peer pressured me and they showed up at my house they threatened my family twisted your arm I said the baboon goes on

but I made them a deal you're not allowed to come to the next baboon fight and you're fighting a whale we don't know which one we don't even know what those whales are so good luck with that the baboons have been a nightmare for me We don't even know what those whales are. Yeah. Yeah. So good luck with that. The baboons have been a nightmare for me. What is the whale going to do in that Coliseum water-wise?

He's got water. You're allowed to have your environment. They used to fill the Roman Coliseum with water and have naval battles inside the Coliseum. Yeah. So we'll fill the first half of its ocean. 30 feet up with water. Half of its ocean. Drop them in. Yeah. And the'll fill the first, you know, half of its ocean. 30 feet up with water. Half of its ocean. Drop them in.

Yeah. And the other half's not. But, you know, the baboon's going to have to go to the well. And the baboon, again, is still arrogant. Yeah. But we're going to see. I don't think it's. What's a new baboon?

It's a new baboon, and they're mad. But now I've not allowed any baboons into this fight. But if it's a baboon's son. Yeah. Well, but before, it was all baboons watching the fight because no one even wanted to go watch a baboon and turkey fight. And the turkey won. But now I've agreed that the baboon can move forward. But during the baboon fight, they're not allowed in the fight.

I think we're going to have more trouble with these baboons. But right now, they're not allowed in the fight. Not in the baboon turkey fight. In think we're going to have more trouble with these baboons. But it's right now they're not allowed in the fight. Not in the baboon turkey fight. In Naked Gun. OJ. Well, not OJ, but Leslie Nielsen's character, he does something stupid and he opens up a

big gate in the zoo in Los Angeles and they're running around and the commissioner's like, do you realize because of your actions baboons are running over this city? And he's like, well, isn't that a fault of the voters? Also, now that I'm going more into your whole run here, you're assuming that animals are the ones coming to watch these fights? No, I just made that up at the moment. I think regular people are, but I think this was a hard ticket to get people to buy.

Because most people think a turkey is not beating a baboon. But I think baboons support each other. They made a big mistake. So maybe now no more of that animal that's fighting is allowed to come in at all. Not just baboons. Could be. And maybe right now it's baboons. But maybe.

We got lions fighting today. You hate to single. Sorry, guys. No lions. You hate to single an animal out. So maybe I do say if your animal is fighting. Let's be honest. They You hate to single. Sorry, guys. No lions. You hate to single an animal out. So maybe I do say, if your animal's fighting, you know. But let's be honest. They're the only ones causing problems so far.

So far, everybody's been pretty great. There were a whole pack of wolves watching the cheetah fight, and they were fine. They were fine. The wolves are respectful. Cheetahs are respectful. I mean, they're going like, this is what the animals do. They've always signed up for. I think a gorilla would be more respected.

It's baboons. Baboons are. The problem is you're probably going to have baboons dressing like gorillas coming in. There you go. Could be. We have major security problems here. Yeah. We'd have snail beat a gorilla, though.

No, I'm just kidding. That's it. Nate made a strong argument. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah Yeah And what happened? No they didn't The gorilla The gorilla

Fall Gorilla scares me almost the most Yeah I think Yeah Gorillas seem Insane Because they have features like us

It's just huge muscles Yeah Yeah Alright That's it We gotta wrap it up uh everybody we love you as always uh i'm gonna whenever this comes out this uh the next week i'm somewhere on tour i'm out and about come see us adding a bunch of shows it's great it's been awesome it's fun uh i love it. Go check Greg Warren's special out.

Where are you going to be? May 12th and 13th, I'm at Mic Drop Comedy Club in San Diego. Nice. May 21st, Cap City Comedy Club in Austin. Boom. May 26th, 27th, Wise Guys in Salt Lake City. That's awesome, man. May 17th and 18th, I'm at the Irvine Improv in the Ontario Improv in California.

So come on out. Never been out there. That's awesome. I have a new residency I'm doing in LA at the Lyric Hyperion. Great. Twice a month, starting May 4th. And then I'll be at the Treehouse Theater in Deerfield, Massachusetts on June 15th, and then the Hereafter in Seattle

on June 30th. Nice. All right. Go check everybody out. Go watch everybody. Nick Thune, thanks for coming in, buddy. Thanks for having me. It was great.

It was fun. There's a bug there. I got it. I won that fight. You advanced. I advanced over the gnat. I advanced over the gnat. I advanced over the gnat. So I moved on to the second round.

We should have one, maybe one of us, we should have, that would throw us in this fight. In the bracket. In the bracket. Just like who could win, you know. Tiger baits with a gun. You can make a vote. If people are upset about this bracket

and they want to, since we took this bracket so seriously, if enough people want a new bracket and it can add us and like, or whatever

and go through it and make it more strategic, we can. I mean, I think they're really enjoying this one, but I think they want to keep going.

Yeah. Do some more brackets. People have sent us their own brackets. Oh, really? Of animals? Of just different things. Yeah.

All right, well, send us brackets of different things. We're finished this their own brackets. Oh, really? Of animals? Of just different things. Yeah. All right. Well, send us brackets of different things. We're finished this animal one out. Send us one of comics fighting. I want to do that one. I think there's already some on there. Okay. Yeah.

Good. Yeah, comics fighting is good. Okay. All right. As always, we love you, and I hope you have a wonderful week. You're going to have a wonderful week, and we will see you next week. All right. Bye.

Bye. Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the AudioBoom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.