The Nateland Podcast - #15 Pirates

Episode Date: October 7, 2020

This episode, we delve into the very important topic of pirates. We look at famous pirates throughout history, common myths about pirates, what our roles would be if we were pirates, and much more. �� Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]

what's up everybody this is Nate Bargetzi welcome to Nate Land podcast hello folks that's our new that gets me in a good mood if I'm ever in a bad mood, I think I can say, hello, folks. And I immediately get in a good mood. We are sitting here this week, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. And we have a guest that's going to be with us the rest of this month, staying at my house, Nick Novicki, stand-up comedian. Who? Nick, this is the rest of the tour for the one-night-only tour is us right here. You will see this is the rest of the tour for the one night only tour is us right here you will see, this is the show you will see

we had Justin Smith part of the first ones unbelievable, Justin did awesome if you don't know Justin, check out Justin Smith comedy on all social medias, I think we've posted stuff with him and we can post it on the Nate Land too, just so you guys

know. Very funny. He did great. Justin will be back out with us probably back on the regular tour hopefully. We had a good rotation. I felt like it was a good... That's what I was telling Justin with us. Felt like it was a good group, good mix. We had a fun time, fun hang.

We performed it in Chicago. The Now Arena. first show at the now arena we were in the parking lot wow something what is the now here first show near the now it's in uh hoffman estates there's a g league basketball team plays in that arena we played basketball it's the biggest arena the g league has ever had it's like uh it's like 10 000 seats yeah it's huge it's big and then so we could go in the arena and shower and stuff uh and then we we did the parking lot in the in the in the show in the parking lot and it was uh one of the best shows i've ever done all these shows have been they're they're way more fun than you think. Yeah. And than you expect.

And it just feels, we're doing these, so if you don't know, we're on the Drive-In Movie Theater tour, one night only. Tickets are on my website. We got a few cities coming up. This week we go to Cleveland and then Charlotte and I don't know, a little bunch of places. Texas, I mean, a whole little final run. And so we're doing it because of COVID, and we didn't know what to expect doing these shows,

but they were unbelievable. I think you feel the love and the fact that people just want to do something. You know, it's like doing these shows. We've done shows at Zany's now since COVID. It would be half capacity. And you can feel the crowd. It just feels better than normal. Because people appreciate the fact that we're even out.

Yeah. And it feels like that. In Chicago, 500 cars. You couldn't even see the last row. You couldn't see any. The back half, you couldn't even see the last row. And you couldn't see any of them. I mean, the back half, you couldn't see. It was also raining. Raining, 40, like 45 degrees.

And they would honk for laughs. So instead of laughing, they honk. And it sounds, this is, here we go. Sorry, sorry, this story is boring. Sorry. This is, here we go. Sorry. Sorry, this story is boring.

It's Lucy. She's going, is you almost done? We just started. So, we, they would honk instead of laughing. And at first, if you had told me they're going to honk for laughs, I would have probably said, I don't even want to go do this tour. Yeah. And it's, you know what it's great and now they could make it a night if they honked but no one's unreasonable if you're you know it's like when you laugh not yet not yet you're

throwing it out there well i'm sure someone could get crazy but it's they flash your lights and they honk it actually helps with the timing you know didn't you think so yeah absolutely it was crazy because it would be like at first you know because when we started you know two weeks ago it was still hot out so most people were just out of their cars and it was like a tailgate now it's like everyone's starting to just be in the cars and it was that timing where i'd be like honk honk light light and you're like whoa whoa but it was like a fun rhythm where it'd be like, honk, honk, light, light, and you're like, whoa, whoa. But it was like a fun rhythm where it felt like it was laughs from different- Yeah, you just learn to, you know, you get some random honks here and there. You kind of just talk over them.

You kind of learn to, you can't acknowledge every honk, and you shouldn't. And the fact is, it's just for your timing-wise. And so it was, when I walked out, man, I mean, it was like, it's 500 cars flashing lights and honking at you. I mean, it's something else, you know. It's pretty special. So everybody's doing it. I feel like everybody is, I've seen a lot of social media stuff and posts, and it's that same way.

The reason I wanted to do this tour is the reason they're at these shows going, we just want to do something in this weird time, and we're going to look back on this hopefully and, you know, be back to normal and then just be like, man, remember we went to a drive-in show? You know, I think you look at it in 20 years, if you're telling somebody like that, we had drive-in movie theater comedy shows and someone's like,

oh, I would have liked to see that. I was like, I was there. I went to it. You know, that's the reason you're doing it. It's because you're going to be later on going, I was there. It was to it. That's the reason you're doing it. You're going to be later on going, I was there. It was not that good. Thank you for everybody that's come out. It's been awesome.

We've enjoyed it. This is it. You'll see this group now. Go follow Justin Smith and then move on to this. Justin Smith, I slap him on the last day. Oh, we made a nice video. That's funny.

I slap him and then we're like, all right, bye now. Yeah, the last contact with him was Nick's hand. And how did your special go? You taped a special? It went well, man. Yeah, thanks. All right. Is it a video special and everything?

It's mostly just audio. I've got a little bit of video but we won't be putting that out that's how you do your specials that's how you do a little bit of video hey take Aaron Webber's special how is it

it's not that much video it's a little bit not much amongst all audio so it's an album it's like a Ken Burns documentary yeah just slideshow yeah it's just an album

yeah yeah yeah yeah that's great it was great thanks man Brian was on the show yeah it was great felt Thanks, man. Brian was on the show. He was there. Yeah.

Yeah, it was great. It was great. Yep. Felt packed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Too packed. Ooh.

A little contact tracing. We're going to be contacting everybody that was at Aaron's taping. The good thing is we'll all be on a bus together. Yeah. It's fine. Aaron's got it, probably pretty sure. No, he doesn't, Nick. That's why we put you next to him.

All right. So, yes, and we know, thank you guys for listening. Last week was the filler episode. A lot of people liked it. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently, we shine in the fillers, not the real ones. So, we got a bunch of comments today.

All right. We're going to start off. Comments to YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, Apple Podcast Reviews, and nateland at natbargetzi.com if you want to send something in. First one up, Kent Scroggins. My wife just gave birth to our son earlier this afternoon. We are sitting in the hospital room. Mom and baby are sleeping, and I am generally trying to hold back the laughs.

Anytime our son wakes up i say hello folks and wave his hand like baits thank you guys for what you do this sleepless night is so much better by listening to y'all hello folks that's what's weird which reminds me uh i'll show you we got uh kevin best or buddy ke, came down to my show in Nashville. He came up with, hello, folks, got a great shirt. Yeah, I got it on. You're wearing it? Oh, yeah, I'm already.

Oh, yay. That was the unveil right there. I like the version of Nate showing it where you're covering the hello, folks, and then you're like, boom! Hello, folks! He also made us some jerseys, which was cool. I meant to show these last week. Nate Land Podcast 41. I just realized that.

That's how old I am. This is for our softball team when we get together. Those are so cool. And then Aaron, secret genius so nick nick's not a fan of the podcast this is his first time listening uh it's him on it but uh aaron we are convinced is uh like a like an albert einstein type yeah and then he just plays down. And then, you know who this is? I mean, that's breakfast number 99 cents.

That's so funny. That's amazing. Kevin Best. He mailed those shirts to my house yesterday, and I came home. My wife said, you have a package here for Burger King Bates? Oh, that's so, yeah. I was like, I bet I know what it is. Yeah.

Oh, I wonder what this is. All right, Alex Kamek. Kamek. Alex Kamek. I have watched the episode three times now. I'm physically weak from cackling. The debates of the pronunciations of penguin and penguin and woolly and woolly. What's woolly?

Oh, woolly mammoth. Or what do you say, woolly mammoth? Woolly. Woolly. You said woolly. Woolly What do you say, woolly mammoth? Woolly. Woolly. You said woolly. Woolly. I say cooler, too. Hey, go get the cooler.

I do say cooler. Height from which a squirrel can survive a fall, the correct way to introduce your family dog, and why animals should or should not be extinct are infinitely more informative and coherent than the Dusterfire televised last night. Just a tremendous episode. Tremendous. I guess he's talking about the debates

because that came out. Or the NBA finals. Either one. Or the playoffs. A lot of stuff. Isaac, that was very nice, Alex. Thank you. Isaac Chassman, three middle-aged men

getting together and talking about animals for an hour and a half this conversation should not have been recorded or filmed fair fair argument isaac could say the same thing to you for listening yeah yeah you know what was he doing i might be at my middle age but i don't think i'm middle-aged i was yeah i actually like this comment I appreciate that thank you Isaac I would think you would be offended by that you're not middle aged

he's not middle aged middle aged would have been at 40 I think probably over 40 life expectancy is capacity is that it? life capacity Life expectancy is capacity. Is that it? Life capacity.

Your life capacity is what? 78. And so half of that is, you know, something. You're over the hill now. 34. No, 44. No, 34, right? Is it?

68. That's 10 off. 39. 39, that's right? Is it? 68. That's 10 off. 39. 39, that's right. I'm not bad at math. I just was on the spot. 39. We got to bring in Harper. So 39.

Harper just comes in with a math table. Boom, boom, boom. 34. I've never talked about my daughter on this podcast. Thanks, Nick. I have a photo if you want to see it. Kimono Dragon. Love the podcast.

Nate is the comedic relief. Butterscotch always looks like he is unsure of what's going on, and Aaron is the brains. I'm falling harder and harder for Aaron with every episode. Give me a break. I know. They like it. Aaron's going to come out of this looking real nice.

Bates will be down. Like in the polls, they're going to have, I'll just say, I'm like Seinfeld, I'm even Steven. See, I have one good friend that's up and one good friend that's down. It's going to be down. All right, we're doing Bates' Fallen. That's all right. You're doing good.

I mean, you're about to retire anyway. I think I am retiring. Hamlin Kaplan, listen each week from the UK. Love the show. I admire the fact that in a world of fake news, this show avoids being fact-checked by having no worthwhile information discussed.

That's pretty great. That is, we talk about nothing that they go, do y'all want to fact-check this? And they go, does does it matter i had this morning and i was talking and uh someone was like i love because i was telling him i'm gonna talk about or we're gonna talk about today pirates and uh he goes i love that like after all that's going on and you're gonna talk about pirates but i i said i think it's it's look there's part of you that you do think oh we're supposed to get some real opinion you know we need to talk about some real life stuff but i think it's it's actually pretty hard not to it's hard to stick this course to but i think this this way

is important that's that's why i stick with it because I think it's important. There's just, there's too much, what do you need my opinion for? Right. My philosophy is they tell you go vote or don't go vote.

Do whatever you want. Write it in, don't write it in. I don't know, who cares? You're an adult. You're smarter than me. Figure it out.

And that's the message of this podcast is figure it out. That's's the message of this podcast is figure it out uh that's nate's butt and it's like get out and vote or don't don't i did say i would love to do a comedy you know they did that celebrity video with uh imagine and all the celebrities did all that just have a bunch of comedians go and vote or don't vote or vote for whoever wants to do whatever you know because everything's like govall they're mad if you're not doing stuff you don't vote for this your vote doesn't you know count and stuff and you're like do whatever you want man do whatever do whatever you want vote

don't vote don't tell anybody tell everybody you're allowed to do all that stuff you're an adult everybody's smart uh tyler johnson my wife and i were able to catch a tour in louisville before the pandemic shut down when the podcast debuted i told her about it and that the other guy opened for nate that night is also a host on the show host is a little loose uh she said oh that precious old guy he tried so hard that night and i said nate's dad was on the line man n Nate's dad was on the last episode about magic, but he's not a regular host. Then she said, no, I know his dad. He was great.

The other guy that introduced his dad, and it was then I realized she was talking about barometric pressure. Love the podcast. Keep up the awesome work. Is barometric the right way? No. Barometric. Barometric.

God. That is so funny. Bar so funny would have been oh that precious old guy tried so hard that night man that's the your comedy that's how i would i thought i had a good set that night i think you had a really good set that night uh apparently not no our johnson's wife doesn't feel that way i would bet I would be curious to see when they were coming in were they coming in

when you're on stage how they were introduced to you going oh that guy's trying up there I like the word precious though yeah

it's a lovable it's like precious oh he's precious out of all the compliments you like to get for your set he tried so hard he really made it

look difficult up there he was really sweating and god that guy he tried he didn't phone it in he tried so hard. He really made it look difficult up there. He was really sweating. God, that guy, he tried. He didn't phone it in. He tried. It ain't for lack of trying. I'll tell you that. David Leonard, when Nate said Horror House,

I could hear braces sweating through my podcast because we all heard what he heard too. Horror House. Oh, I get what you heard. Braces might be up there as my new favorite. It's easy for me to say. Braces is a very funny name. You know, they call them different names, Nick.

We have started a podcast. This is episode 12. I like the worried face. I'm listening. Oh, yeah. The worried face is the greatest thing. It's hilarious. Michael Breed.

I wonder if this is the Michael Breed. He's a golf professional, golf coach. His name is Michael Breed. I would love it if it's... Either way, I'll take lessons from whoever this guy is. In regards to the pronunciation of penguin, Aaron absolutely had it wrong. I heard that and was so glad you called him out.

Finally. Finally standing up to the bully of Aaron. I was starting to think maybe I'd been pronouncing it wrong all this time. It turns out, Aaron, you're wrong. And they're happy to hear us stand up against you. Okay. No one needs your propaganda machine of penguin coming around here. Because you're not as smart as you thought you were.

Well, we've got some comments saying the exact opposite. Well, we got rid of those comments. I'll defer to those. Well, we deleted them. So how do you say it? Penguin. Penguin. Penguin.

I also can't pronounce the word dwarf correctly, so I'm not the right dwarf. Dwarf. Nick is a little person, and so you can't say what you are i can't say when you talk to kids about it you're on a dwarf and they're a dork i have been on i have been on several tv shows where i had to go into adr booth paid after the episode because they're like you cannot pronounce dwarf correctly and then they make you say it's a dwarf dwarf like an episode of curb your enthusiasm yeah theusiasm. Oh, because there's a W. Yeah.

Dwarf. And you actually say the W. But I just wouldn't say it a lot. You just don't say it. You don't say dwarf. What you are. You're like. There are only four words in the English language that start with DW.

Wow. Can you name them? This is a secret. Well, I can't name dwarf. We've already established that one. There you go. Dwindle. Dwayne. We've already established that one. There you go. Dwindle. Dwayne.

Dwayne. Come on. Dwell. That's a proper noun. Yeah. Proper nouns aren't words, apparently. Dwarf and dwindle. Dwecula.

Yeah. You just start making up. I don't know. What's the last one? Dwingo. Dwell. Dwell. Dwellve. He forgot the fourth one. I don't't remember the last one i've already gave you dwayne i've already dwayne there we go dwayne

dwayne the rock johnson oh that's crazy four uh all right uh misguiding son aaron definitely got their pronunciation right nate and buford have old man ears i've never heard someone say penguin in my whole life that's how i said that you won't make fun of where i said penguin boy uh everybody said it that guy is misguided uh his name is misguided son uh adam miller y'all pronounce it incorrectly first syllable is pin like the writing tool. The second is gwin. Pronounce gwin. Pin-gwin. Pin-gwin.

I think we were putting the G on the first syllable when it's supposed to be on the second syllable. Pin-gwin. Pin-gwin. That's what it's... A pin-gwin? Pin-gwin. I don't like the way that sounds.

That sounds crazy. Yeah, I don't like that. Welcome to the pin-gwins. That sounds like at the zoo. They would go, welcome to the penguins. And you're going, and it's the guy going, you're all saying it wrong. I say it right. And then everybody's annoyed at that guy.

And that guy gets fired eventually because people don't care for it. We just went to the Columbus Zoo. It was great. Columbus, Ohio, one of the best zoos in the world. Thank you, Brandon. I've met some friends of mine out there that we've met through Jason Day's golf tournament. And so they got a little behind-the-scenes tour at Columbus. And it was unbelievable.

Well, what did the girl get mad? One girl was like, what was the animal that she was like, that's not right? Oh, possum. Oh, possum. So it's not possum. Everyone, she's like, she was literally right. Everybody thinks opossum. Opossum. Opossum. So it's not possum. Everyone, she's like, she was literally ready to punch somebody in the face. She's like, it is not possum.

It is opossum. Opossum. It's not possum. It's opossum. Because it's a big debate. And they can't hang from the tails. Really? Yeah.

Everybody thinks they hang from the tails. Are they two different animals? An opossum and a possum? No, there is no possum. It's just an opossum. It's an opossum. Like the possum that I see in my backyard. That is an opossum.

An opossum. An opossum. Actually, I think she said in Australia there's possums. Yeah. Yeah. Or something. But the crazy thing is they can do some stuff with their tail, but they can't hang. They can maybe hang for a second.

They can wrap it around it, but everyone's thinking, oh, it could just hang upside down, and they can't hang they can maybe hang for a second like they can like wrap it around it but everyone's like you know thinking oh i could just hang upside down and they can't yeah they can't that's and we that opossum is the one that told us that uh he's he said we also saw they had this amazing animal that i can't remember what it's some kind of bird but it throws like it takes its food and it throws it against a rock. Like a lizard. Yeah. But they said that sometimes they would paint a rock like Michigan. So it'd be like an Ohio State, like, ah, just throw the rock in.

Yeah, that's funny. Michigan. Yeah, it's a bird. It's how it would kill a lizard. It grabs it and then throws it on the rock and then kills it. It was actually very fun. Yeah, very fun animal. We just kept like, one more time.

They were like, usually this is just a one-time thing. And we're like, one more, one more. Go, go, go. He just kept going. Yeah, it was an awesome, awesome day. Justin Smith rode a camel, which was fun. Kate Westa. Hi, my boyfriend and I are huge fans of the podcast.

We look forward to Wednesdays now. I'm a teacher's aide, and we were talking about Houdini with the class, and they asked how he died. And because of your magic episode, I knew it on the spot. Keep doing what you're doing. That's awesome. See? We learn stuff also.

It's very kind of useless information that's what i think i want people to learn yeah it's like dumb the dw thing yeah you know that's a good one we can didn't give them all of them but you know just make it three everybody if you're listening at home go you know there's only three words in the three words in one name yeah sam h rehoming fees are generally to make sure someone is willing to spend money on the dog You know there's only three words in the... Three words and one name. Yeah. Sam H., rehoming fees are generally to make sure someone is willing to spend money on the dog to ensure they would be willing to part with money down the road to properly care for them. Proper food, vet costs, medicines, toys, etc. If someone does not have the $100 to buy the dog,

they generally will not have the money for the upkeep of the dog even animal shelters require a rehoming fee unless they are over capacity and waive the fee to help clear the shelters out quickly so they're just saying that's like charging a dollar for a show or five you know when we do comedy shows you'd be like charge at least five bucks just to keep a homeless person from yelling at you during the show like you know and that's what they're doing dogs or honking too much during that you're like if i remember correctly i think what we objected to was just the word rehoming yes yeah what nate object to yeah calling it rehoming yeah yeah yeah uh rehoming fees but i like that too is like unless they're over capacity then it's like then we don't care uh i think that's like some mass like wearing

mass stuff where you're like that seems you know it's like wear your mask to the table then just eat it say we'll do whatever you want like it's all like a rule it's like what we do we try to do it i like that so everything everything's like you try to be right and normal and do things correct and then you just do whatever you gotta do jordan chamberlain wilt chamberlain there you go yeah jordan chamberlain i think the jordan threw me off uh regarding the use of the term rehoming it might not be a bad idea to keep the concept in the back of your mind should you ever need to get rid of Birkenstock. Birkenstock.

Saying we relived him sounds much nicer than we fired him. All jokes aside, you guys are all great in this show as I'm unbelievable. Relieved him. We relieved him. Relived show as unbelievable. Relieved him. We relieved him. Relived him. Yeah. We relieved him. That's what we're going to eventually say when Bates is gone.

And maybe you're in, Nick. You're doing a little bit more than you think you're doing. Oh, boy. This is audition. I'll be like, all right, next week, Nick, why don't you sit at the computer? Mark McRae, will Nate aaron loan bean dip a hat if anyone needs to be wearing a hat it's him what why is that necessary yeah uh just to give a little bean dip some credit for you everybody at home bean Bean Dimp picks these comments. So, a little good sense.

Maybe you're at home and you're like, we're having fun. He's got a good sense of humor in the fact that he's picking some comments that he could easily not pick. I put the good in the bad. He puts the good in the bad. He's unbiased. You can make fun of whoever you want. It goes in. Unless it's me, then I make sure it's out.

I don't see these comments until now. Clearly. Yeah. As you can tell. At least I'm not going I read all these multiple times last night. Brent Chandler It's great when Nate gets into some reading trouble then turns to bridal shower

as his linguist ventriloquist dummy but never lets him finish reading a sentence that's my linguistic linguist that's what I said

linguist ventriloquist that's a lot of he did that on purpose oh look who's here Nicholas Butcher oh look who's here nicholas butcher nicole's butcher here i don't condone what she said i'm only a butcher and i thought it was weird she wanted me to post on youtube is this how you heck want a pandemic so you know what i missed yeah now we get to the bottom of it. What happened? I know what happened because I saw this name. You put E instead of A. Yes.

So that's partially on me. That's all on you because it was Nicole's. You did, come on. You probably were going to say it wrong anyway. I would have said A. I know a Nicholas. Okay. So just to be clear, anybody that saw Nicholas Butcher and thought,

none of us thought to guess Nicholas. That's why. It's because it was spelled with an E instead of an A. C-O-L-E-S is how it's spelled. N-I-C-O-L-E-S is how it's spelled. I misspelled it. Nicholas is N-I-C-H-O-L-A-S. That's right.

That is my name. I love Nicole's Butcher. I love the idea of that. Hello, Nicole's butcher here. That was one of my favorite moments. Yeah. So you got a great moment out of it. Yeah.

So that's good. And I like that Nicole's butcher responded back. You know, how you doing? Here I am. I don't condone what she said. I'm only a butcher. I don't know why she's making me post on this YouTube stuff anyway. That's funny.

Yeah. D's funny. Yeah. Dib Monster. The amount of abuse Beverly takes from Nate is impressive. Every week I'm curious to see if he's had enough and quit the show, but he's always there ready to take more abuse like a champ. Love the podcast. Keep up the great work. He's always here.

Yeah. Did you see the Ellen apology? Yeah. I mean, I'm watching. watching i'm like this is our she's apologizing for people behind the scenes that she heard about i'm like we're doing it in real time and it's ellen that's doing it yeah well we show you yeah we don't hide from no more abuse off camera than he does i was about to say this is the nicest nate is to me the entire two hours of the week. We don't talk. I don't let him talk to me until we meet back here.

Beverly, by the way, is a wonderful comedy name. Beverly? Beverly is a great woman's comedy name. Very funny name. Dennis is in my other... I love Dennis. If you're ever writing something you need a good name, Beverly is a great name.

Really? It's just very funny. Beverly. Beverly. You can really get on it. Beverly. Dennis is not bad. It's like a hard consonant. I do.

I think also your accent, Dennis sounds like dentist. You're like, Dennis. I want you to Dennis. Dennis is a great. Dennis. You're just mad at Dennis a lot. Dennis the dentist. Beverly, I think is a great. I love thees. Beverly, I think, is a great...

I love the name. It's a comedy name. Beverly. Have you ever used it? Uh-uh. You know? I haven't. I haven't really reasoned for it.

But I just... As I was sitting there, I was like, as I said, the amount of abuse Beverly takes, it's very funny. Yeah. It's a great name. All right. Yeah, he takes... You know, Bates gets treated. By the way, Bates gets treated pretty good too.

In what way? I mean, you're working. You go do comedy. You perform all over America in theaters. Is that not good? Yeah. Yeah. I got a? Yeah. Yeah. I got a good life.

Yeah. Maybe say that to everybody once in a while. You're living, you're traveling on tour bus. You do some pretty unbelievable things. You went to PTI, the taping of PTI. You met Kornheiser. Your favorite show of all time. I take we go to that.

But yeah, let them know I get yelled at too much I did not say that you didn't back it up you said I'm like Ellen DeGeneres he's a maniac who's like the worst she told me not to look at him in the eye which I'm going to start using now

in fairness Nate does that he's like alright just stop looking at me I would love. I try to get my dog not to look me in the eye, and she only looks me in the eye. Where's Holly? I don't know.

She didn't care for today. Scared somewhere. She's over the comments. We're almost done with the comments. Intense Spence. Right? Intense Spence. I think that's a made-up word.

Sounds like a horse we bet on at the... During the comments portion of each episode, Nate is always reacting to what he is reading, clearly for the first time, whereas Billy Goat Banks just nods along, seemingly indicating he is the sole prepared participant of this podcast. Yes, he is.

I think we've said that though yeah yeah he does everything he sets up all the stuff and the format of it all and yeah it's all him i've said that i think he maybe suggests you should prepare more the preparation of what i bring to the table is all of this he brings that that's the i think This is like arguing with my wife. It just doesn't get counted. Why don't you do a little more? I mean, we're sitting in a studio. What else do you want?

Yeah, I'll type some stuff out too. Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Nate also brings a sweet purple jumper at the table. It's Now Arena. I was trying to... We performed at the Now Arena. It's enough out of you nick uh andrew harden nate's dad was a great guest i love the making fun of bosco runs in the family it does run in the family him nate and my dad golf together i

mean nate and my dad uh baits and my dad golfed together yesterday yeah that was it there's some incidents yeah what happened so my contact was messing up, and I was trying to adjust my contact, and I couldn't see. So I was like, you drive the car. And he's like, okay. And he slid over, and my sunglasses were there, and he just crushed them. They went in a million pieces.

And my contact, I couldn't get it back in, so the rest of the day I had to play. I couldn't see, and the sun was just blinding me the whole time in my eyes and no hat uh no i had a hat on oh you did yeah yeah now the entire bargazzi family is like going after you it's not just date anymore harper it's three generations of bargazzi yeah she calls them bob ripple pants which is a great name. She calls you... Fred Ripley. Yeah. She's already got it all lined up

because we're all about to get on the bus tomorrow night. I got no nickname. She's just like... It'll come. It'll come. She'll get you. I mean, she'll come up with something. It's going to be...

All right. Nolan Widener. I don't care how funny you guys are. Nothing will be more entertaining than a Krispy Kreme Donut eating competition I agree Aaron backed out he's too weak

We I agree that we should be doing it And we're going to do it it's going to be a surprise It'll just come out of nowhere It's going to be a surprise for us too Oh you think he doesn't care for that If I just surprise you one day Yeah I just gotta yeah

i gotta be ready for it mentally you gotta like wrap your head around it yeah never eat before you come just a case i would also need to have a lactate pill ready uh yeah you were not going to be involved but i guess you're not invited to that all right get back get outside you would how many you think how many crispy cream donuts you think you could eat when I take a lactate pill it's Nick uh what is a lactate pill I'm lactose intolerant so I need a lactate pill otherwise doesn't always work yeah 80 80 20 chance we and we're going on a bus together yeah and we took uh we had pizza in Chicago and he took the he takes the pill and and you just got to hope it's a good one. Because if it's not, it's a wild ride.

Yeah, it's like that bottle of wine, you know, in a case they say one's bad. Yeah. In a lactate pill box, you know, one of those could be. Does every box have at least one that's bad? Nah, I don't know. I just made that up. Is there dairy in a Krispy Kreme donut?

I think so. Yeah. Probably. Cream. It says cream in the name. So it's like. Yeah. No dairy in a donut?

I don't know. I mean, maybe there's eggs in the dough, but I can't think of it. Eggs not there. It's like sugar. It's sugar, right? Yeah. I don't know. We're going to find out right now

maybe we will do it now we're gonna do it while he's here because he wants to jump in on it yeah we're gonna see that we gotta see

do people gonna want to sit and watch us eat it that's the thing I think it'd have to be it's own thing it couldn't be an episode because it's not gonna be I'm not gonna be able

to talk during it well we have to do something else maybe an IQ test able to talk during it well we have to do something else maybe an iq test or something yeah during it yeah an iq test during the i mean that's that should be your iq right there you look what we're doing uh yeah we could do it yeah something like that i mean you know we could and we could just have them out here and be eating them uh you know it's just you get away from the mic. It's like watching someone eat.

Personally, I think it's one of those things where the anticipation of it is better than the actual. He wants out of it. If we do it, just let me know ahead of time. I don't want to show up and see a bunch of boxes. He'll wear different clothes. I said I could eat 36. Oh, wow. And then I regretted it pretty quickly.

Jeez, that would be. Yeah, it's a lot. What if he just died on the table? I mean, it'd be great for us. You'd scoot over one, dude. It'd be great for me and breakfast. We'd be trending number one. We'd go, all right.

We'd have to leave him there for the whole week. We're here. Aaron's out. That one podcast, you're watching this, Aaron is dead. This is not a filler. This is live. This is live episode. Aaron couldn't do it. He got to

35. We won't even give you the extra one. He only could get to 35. I said he could get to 36. Liar's gonna lie. Yeah, we would do it i think i think we'd do it and we film we would just we would film us eating downstairs and then we'd come up and do a podcast after you gotta do it after okay yeah that's what we do i feel like there's not enough like random questions pointed at people during like a hot dog eating contest where you're like just tell us about your life you know yeah yeah yeah well that's what we could do downstairs like do that we could either do it before or after yeah i might have to do it quick because i i mean

i got a special i'm taping the end of october i can't be that weak great special nate a little bloated just feeling the yeah throwing in i think i can get a dozen down i think so too wow that would it's a lot what were you thinking you want to jump in on this what do you get four yeah three or four i'm like oh my god what do you want me to die like it's a i'm three". Are you going to have me eat 15 donuts? You wanted to jump in and you said I could eat some. You can eat a lot. I get diabetes because I want to participate. I didn't ask you to participate.

You were the one that said I want to be a part of it. I just want a couple donuts. I mean, so you want like a day. So basically you're just like, oh, we're going to go have a nice, wonderful breakfast after. No, we're going to eat like animals. And we're going to see how many donuts we can eat. You can sit with Bates. Because you and Bates are going to be on the sideline.

That's a real man coming in to eat. Aaron's just blindfolded like eating like 86. Like Nate's like, we're still eating, you know. Bates eats a lot. I mean, nick eats a ton i eat a lot we would always we we and nick lived together uh forever 15 years ago and then we lived together and then we went to uh and then when nick would come back to new york he'd always stay with us and nick's been on uh even theos. He's been on Boardwalk Empire, Good Place. Good Doctor. Good Doctor.

Good Doctor. Drew is the Good Place. Good Doctor, yeah. Anything coming up or no? No, not much. Just this. I mean like 50-something TV shows. A ton of stuff. He's been on all his shows. And so he like 50-something TV shows. A ton of stuff.

He's been on all his shows. And so he'd always stay at our house. And when he'd come over, and Nick's addicted to Chinese food. And so he'd always get lo mein, lao mein. And then he would, is it lo mein? Lo mein? Lo mein. No, that's not what I mean.

And it's lo mein. And Nick would would eat it i'd get up in the morning he just eating it for breakfast from the night before i love it i'd eat chinese food right now yeah anytime anytime someone's like let's see chinese all right chinese food that we're how much can you eat chinese food and donuts yeah i could eat a lot you could eat a lot i just love chinese chinese donuts though oh chinese donuts are good could eat a lot. You could eat a lot. I just love Chinese food. Chinese donuts, though. Chinese donuts are good. Could you eat those?

I've never even seen that. It's the little sugary, it's like a donut hole. I don't like that. You don't even know what it is. If I want a donut, I want a regular donut. Yeah. It's like, you know, I want to eat Chinese food. Well, you want to be in this Krispy Kreme challenge,

you don't want to be a part of it. I want to have a couple. I want to be like,. Well, you want to be in this Krispy Kreme challenge, you don't want to be a part of it. I want to have a couple. I want to be like, I'm in the competition. You think I'm going to eat four? Four was crazy to you. We're trying to eat 36. I would love to see that. You might.

Just hang out after. How do you feel? It's everything. It feels great on camera, and then you're done, and you're like... I'll be fine. I don't Yeah. It feels great on camera, and then you're done, and you're like. I'll be fine. I don't think it would feel great on camera. I think I'll be struggling. You don't think you're going to be fine.

I think I'll be fine. I'll live. No, it's not about living. It's just going to be fine, dude. I'll bet I could golf after. I remember hanging with you during your Krispy Kreme phase. I bet I could eat more than 12, and I could could go eat and I could do whatever I want after. I just eat.

I think I eat so bad my body's trained. Yeah. You were in that cycle. I don't think we're eating good food. I don't eat good food, dude. So we're not eating good food. And then, I mean, are you on some healthy kick right now that you're eating only like really good food? No.

Then your body's going to be fine with it. The problem is like- I'm talking about eating 36, dude. It just sheer weight alone it's it's full you're gonna feel just the volume yeah we're better we're prepared for it he would be more in danger of like his body's not used to at least our bodies our body's always kind of in the realm of like i could eat 36 donuts like that opportunity might show up right because it's already eating bad so much that it's always just like it uh 36 donuts doesn't just jump out of our body and they're like i didn't know you were here they're like i've always expected my body will not be surprised by anything yes like

we're at any given time we're ready. Yeah. Let's go. How many would you eat? He said like four the first time. Four? He was like you. So maybe there's like two levels.

There's two competitions. There's like the 36 one of us may end up dying a couple years Professionals and amateurs. Yeah. Yeah. And then y'all gotta see

but y'all gotta eat more than you think. Don't I don't want y'all eating two and then going ohall gotta see but y'all gotta eat more than you think don't I don't want y'all eating two and then going oh it's too much maybe I'd surprise myself yeah

go crazy yeah he just starts catching up like he's he tries to leave our competition which you what

I'm throwing in some chocolate it's a whole different ball game I mean should I just do chocolate then and do 12 how many chocolate do you think you could do I don't know

I need a lactate pill first. I got him. He got him. It's like ammunition. I'm like, close it out just in case. Is there cheese in this? Is there cheese in this? Hey, is there cheese in this? We ate one day

and after Nick gets done, we're sitting there for a while. He goes, I think there could have been cheese in that pasta. And we're like, I just hope not. And then we think there was. We only got about eight hours till the next stop. Yeah. Were you okay?

Yeah, I was fine. Yeah, well. I don't know. Do you have to hot bag? Yeah. Oh, gosh. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah.

If you don't run a tour bus, you can't go. You can pee. You can't go to the if you don't know on tour bus you can't go you can pee can't go to the bathroom uh is a problem the tour bus and you don't it like ruins the trip so if you if something happens you gotta just stop the bus and go out in the field i mean you go from a rock star to just a homeless crazy person in two seconds like Like it's just like that's the, you know, like everything's great side of interstate. All right. Speaking of that kind of living, crazy living,

today we are going to talk about pirates. We went to a pirate museum over Cape, and we were in Cape Cod. Awesome, awesome show again in Cape Cod near the water. Nick asked, nick went to the ocean he asked the lady uh the behind the counter at the private at the pirate thing uh excuse me where's the uh ocean at that's what he said because i want to see the ocean excuse me where's the ocean yeah she's like uh everywhere yeah i was like but where's the you

know because literally we're cape cod so there is but there was like little you know just inlets where it's like just a little bit like a canal and i want to see like the crazy ocean yeah but it's funny because she's she's literally working the gift shop and everyone's like how much and i was like excuse me where's the ocean yeah i just came in like a psycho like yeah and And she's already got to deal with you and then Justin. Oh, yeah. And Justin had to go to the bathroom there, and their bathroom was out of order. And Justin, she asked him, and he goes,

he goes, hey, your bathroom's out of order. Can I go in the women's bathroom? And she goes, no. She goes, no. And then she goes, you can go to that restaurant and see if they're crazy enough to let you do it and then i mean it was just like kind of was just not have like it's kind of rude to him it was just not having it and then justin was just gone and we didn't

see just until later and that was pretty great way later way later it was like there was like a two-hour gap where like where did you go and he was like you know i said you know it was like there was like a two hour gap where like where did you go and he was like you know i said you know it was just like kind of trails off and pirate like it was pretty fun though uh just for him to be gone and that's what happens out there on the road all right so we went to the pirate museum a lot of interesting stuff uh so i thought let's do an episode about pirates uh though pirates have existed since ancient times, the golden age of piracy was in the 17th and early 18th century. During this time, more than 5,000 pirates was said to be at sea.

Throughout history, there have been people willing to rob other transporting goods on the water. So I read a thing about that. It was early, like 1700s, you know, like was their heyday. And so 5,000 pirates. And so you might think, how could 5,000 pirates really affect America? Because right now they couldn't. But back then, New York had 18,000 people.

South Carolina had 5,000 people. That's it. So they'd go to these towns and this was worldwide pirates worldwide pirates but five thousand but i mean like but they all went to south carolina it was like we're all gone yeah but there's yeah there's got to be a big group and then you got a group that comes in that just doesn't care you know it's like that's what they were saying it's a if you're in south carolina you only got 5 000 people if 500 dominant people come they will control 5 000 people because what are you going to do you know so they're going to come just wreck your town yeah and they were they would get

drunk they get crazy they get they don't i mean they don't care like they're living a pirate life and they're willing to i guess kill you i mean they just there's no rules you know they drink they i think it was a very much you uh it was it was like rob and still just to get to the next you know and then spend that money and then rob and still again and it was like that kind of life that's how i eat i like that every uh pirate ship had a doctor yeah it's like they had like a surgeon on board yeah could you imagine very loose like a well you know i kind of have a headache like ah it's got the foot off you know like it's just like, no matter what, like a crazy Monty Python, like, diagnosis. Yeah, very, very loose, loose doctor.

Yeah. Some famous pirates, his name is going to be Bartholomew. Is that right? Yeah. Man, I used to have so much trouble with Bartholomew. That's how I used to say it. Bartholomew. Bartholomew Roberts was a Welsh pirate who raided ships off the Americas and West Africa

between 1719 and 1722. He was the most successful pirate of the golden age of piracy as measured by vessels captured, taking over 400 prizes in his career. He's also known as Black Bart, but this name was never used in his lifetime. Yeah, Black Bart would have been so much easier. I feel like there's like two Barts. Yeah. And they're like, well, which one?

No. He's like, Black Bart. Yeah. Let's get the Black Bart. Because he was a Welsh part? Was he black? I don't know, actually. Should we be talking about this?

Sound familiar. 400 ships is pretty crazy. Crazy. He was putting in support. So that was their big thing. They would take over these ships. And that was only three years. Yeah. Sound familiar. 400 ships is pretty crazy. Crazy. He was putting in some work. So that was their big thing. They would take over these ships. And that was only three years. Yeah.

Wow. And that guy got after it. That seems like a pirate that took it. It was like, oh, we're going to be a pirate. That's a guy that probably could be anything. He could be president if he wanted to. But he chose pirate. And so he becomes dominant because he takes it serious and and goes and do it for the love of the game for

the love of the game that's like uh i've i always talk about that or i don't know if i've talked about this but that netflix uh the crime thing on netflix uh everything's a crime thing on netflix but when they talk they uh warlords or crime lords or whoever they talked about, they do like a series. They did Pablo. They did, you know, a lot of stuff like that. But this one girl they did, she ran this drug thing in Compton. And she ended up, they just sold drugs. And then she got with like the black widow was

like a famous cartel lady and she got in there and she became this huge drug lord and uh she was this woman was it called drug lords yes it's called drug lords yes that's it okay and so she became this huge drug lord and did all this stuff. And eventually it all went down. And now she talks like she's a speaker now. But she was like a track star. It was a person that if she wanted to be in the Olympics, she could have done that.

Yeah. She could have done. She's so good that you're like, she can technically do whatever she wants. She put this stuff to drug lords and she became the best at it. And it seems like that guy could be like that where it's yeah you know it's there's guys that are just really good and they're like they can do whatever they want you just hope they pick the right field if they don't they're

going to be really good at the bad one i feel like for that kind of like ted talk conference you know like that's got to be really hard talk to follow Or if you're like talking about like, you know, your life as whatever, a dentist, and you got to follow that where she's like, I literally took over an empire in Compton. Like here's this story. Here's that story. You know,

people are getting shot. I had cocaine in my shoe. You know, that's a tough, it's like a comic. You don't want to follow. Yeah. Yeah.

That's got, I mean, they got to let her go last. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I mean, that's, I. It's like a comic you don't want to follow. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they got to let her go last. Yeah. Yeah, because, I mean, to be a woman, too, back in the 80s, and I mean, there had to be, I mean, it probably still is a men-dominated field, but that's a field that you got to gain respect.

I mean, they're going to, you know, it's not a normal, it's not like, well, we should have a woman because women should be allowed to, like, you know. It's not a normal, it's not like, well, we should have a woman because women should be allowed to, like, you know, it's like, you got to be crazy. Wait,

that's like Miss Pat? Yeah. I mean, that's basically, I had to follow Miss Pat once and that's basically what it was. I mean, she's been shot.

She's been, she's just had the craziest thing. You had to follow Miss, I've never heard this. Where did the, so Miss Pat's a comedian. You were a very funny comedian and and you were doing a show, and you're saying you had to go on after her.

Yes. I was at the Laughing Skull Lounge in Atlanta, and nobody wanted to follow her. But I was the guy visiting from out of town. So last minute they said, hey, Miss Pat, she wants to go ahead and go on up now. I'm like, what am I going to say? Of course.

And she just destroyed with some of the funniest raunchiest craziest stories I've ever heard. Yeah. I kept there after like

dating's hard. It was it was tough. Wow. Long John Silver is a fictional character in the novel Treasure Island

by Robert Louis Stevenson. So this, he's not real. The most. No, but I added him because a lot of the images of pirates we have

come from him. The wooden, the peg leg, the parrot on your shoulder. His missing leg and parrot. Yeah, the image of the pirate

in popular culture. Perhaps the most famous pirate of all time, Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard, definitely lived up to his fearsome reputation. He was said to enter into every battle with knives, pistols, and two swords. At his most powerful, he had four ships in his fleet and 300 loyal pirates to man them. So, I mean, they would travel in these big groups.

He seized more than 40 merchant ships in the caribbean and ruthlessly killed several of his prisoners while he had an impressive run his luck ran out when he was captured by the royal navy and beheaded with his severed head raised near virginia's hampton river to warn other pirates to stay away that's what they would do a lot. What's crazy is he did 40. He seized 40 ships. That other guy did taking over 400 prizes. Does it mean ships?

I wonder if prizes mean ships. I think it was vessels captured. Who knows how big those ships are? Maybe that's why Bartholomew Roberts wasn't called Black Bart. It's because he already had a black beard. Was he before him? I don't know. i don't know i feel like that it's so crazy though to think about you're in the open ocean yeah and you have to get off your ship like walk from one ship to another jump in the ocean yeah it's like you're swim swimming to that

fight joke yeah and you see it coming yeah you're like yeah it's slow i feel like like you're swimming to that fight joke. Yeah. And you see it coming. Yeah, you're like, yeah, it's slow. I feel like a quarter of the pirates. I mean, that's why you would think, you would think that to, like if you're getting attacked by another ship, you think you could be like, well, I can just make them never get us. Yeah.

Like back up. It's like you should be able to like, they should at all times be able to be like this. it's like you should be able to like they should at all times be able to be like this he's like and you're just if the guy's good you're like they can never get to it see that's why i feel like you need like a circus soleil pirate fleet and where you're like these guys are our jumpers you know well i think i bet pirates did stuff like that yeah because that that was the thing though is pirates would do stuff like that, especially if they had four ships, then they could just surround you,

and then they're going to come in. So that's probably why they had to have four ships, because otherwise I think you would just be like. Would they travel in fleets like that? Yeah, I mean, he just said four. I don't know if it's mentioned in this, but, I mean, one guy that we looked at, so they would, like they said,

they hung his head at the river, right? Had the pirates stay away. I mean, I think the 1700s, this is a problem. This is not, you know what I mean? Like, we talk about pirates now, and there is still pirates, but it's like not a problem. This is a, they're hanging the head

on the you know so the pirates can see it just on the shore and they would put them in these cages that their whole body would hang and they would just leave it sitting there just so they know i mean they you know this is when they're cutting everybody's heads off in public and they're doing all that kind of stuff uh One guy went and tried to get a ship. And so he's got a bunch of ships, right? And he sees a ship, and he's like, let's go get that ship. And so he goes, you go get it. So one of the ships go over there, and it's a Navy warship.

And so he gets over there. I guess they get far enough away that no one can see and the warship takes them overtakes them takes them in rest them all they're gone then the warship now knows where that ship says he's like i'm gonna go back out there so they go back out there and they said the pirate he's like so drunk and he's like let's go get that ship because i want that he doesn't realize it's the one that he just saw. He's like, why don't you get that one? And then it came and just killed all of them because the Navy one did because they didn't know.

But I was like, you're led by drunks unless you're Bartholomew Roberts, who is like a guy that's like, what if he was sober? And you're like, well, that guy's going to dominate. Because you're either probably not really drink or you're a raging alcohol. What kind of alcohol did they have back then? I think it was called grog.

There was one drink that they all drank. They just called it drink. Just drink. Yeah, drink. Grog. Never heard of that. Yeah. Alcoholic drink, especially beer. Grog. Never heard of that. Yeah.

Alcoholic drink, especially beer. Oh, I'm now just catching on that you're seeing what he's typing in. You're just realizing that? I'm just realizing that now. I'm like, he just keeps looking over there. Yeah. It's a drink made with- Nate just keeps looking at the ceiling like, is anybody up there? Grog is a drink made with rum and water.

Because I always think Pirates of the Caribbean, there's that famous scene where he's drinking a bunch of rum. Click on the Wooded Pirates drink. Yeah. I did a movie. Rum. A pirate movie. And I'll tell you what, there's nothing more fun than just going,

argh, talking about this thing. Just getting into that. It's just so silly. You played a pirate. Yeah, what was that? It was called Pirate Camp. And we were like teaching these kids like how to be pirates. And I just was this like, and we just would talk in this kind of thing.

And me and like, I had like a, I was like a sidekick. Like the two of us. Just keep talking like this kind of pirate talk. And we would make ourselves laugh it was just it's so fun to talk in that kind of it just you could just get in that yeah like just trail off like all right what kind of food we got there today i wonder where that came heart cramp trailer can we see you in this i'm in it are you in this trailer there's you're in the trailer uh yeah they probably and i don't think so i'm not in the trailer but there is you could look up uh i have a like an old reel where i'm like some of my like i'm falling off like there i am yeah i am where are you that was you

yeah yeah we had like a great bit where like i'm falling off a bed it's like where were you all right we where did we film this right there the great pirate like i had like you know i'm in like uh it was fun you walk around the sword and you get pirate talk you're like lady today is chicken again for lunch are you playing actual pirates in this movie yeah did you color your hair or is that a wig or uh i don't even know it was like i think we had like a skull cap and you know it's fun that you dress up like a lady like for the day and like pirate gear we're gonna be watching pirate cam so i know what we're doing while we're eating the donuts yeah

watching pirate cam that would be fun director's cut yeah that's awesome yeah it's fun uh you like you've done this we barely remember so you know you're you're the closest we have to an expert on this episode yeah wow. But I know nothing. All I was good at was just going, just complaining in pirate talk. Were just pirates talking like that? Or is that how everybody talked back then? Or I'd imagine pirates.

I feel like it's kind of- I bet it's- Some of that's extremely uneducated. And you know, it's like- Yeah. I are drunk and being just a bunch of dudes. There was also, I don't know if you have it in here, two women that we read a story in the Pirate Museum.

There was two women that wanted to be pirates, so they dressed up as men, and no one ever knew that they uh that they were they were just i thought they were men and then as women they fell in love with the other person thinking it was a man so so the two women naturally they're going to be attracted to a man so the one woman falls for that man that woman falls for that man not knowing that they're both women they then finally reveal to each other and then the other one tells on the other one and they kill her wow women still still can't be trusted you're in love and then they were both they were both mad they were betrayed

and that one turned on it yeah it's pretty crazy uh ann bonnie got a new start by moving with her family from ireland and nassau she ended up in an unhappy marriage that led bonnie to look for excitement in other places she certainly found it when she met calico jack rackman who happened to be the captain of a pirate ship because women were generally unwelcome as part of the crew she dressed and behaved like a man to fit in and kept up fighting and drinking the boys she encouraged violence and bloodshed and was eventually captured and sentenced to death but escaped by claiming she was pregnant it is a known unknown where her life took So that's not the same woman. So she got on because she got hooked up with that other guy.

Yeah. I feel like Monty Python have like stolen a lot of these kind of like bits. You know, it's like, I'm not dead yet. You know? Yeah. Also, it's like Calico Jack's is also a restaurant too, right? I don't know. John Silver's. Calico Jack.

I've heard that, yeah. I feel like I've heard like a lot of these. Yeah. Who's Captain Morgan? You read that. Oh, okay. Quietly backed by England,

Captain Morgan made a name for himself by successfully leading a Jamaican fleet that disrupted Spain's power in the Caribbean. While it's rumored that he might have terrorized

as many as 400 ships during his career, his most impressive accomplishment was raiding affluent Panama City with 30 ships and 1,200 men yielding vast riches. Although he was arrested and taken to England after his great plunder, he was knighted by the king and released to hold the title of deputy governor in Jamaica, where he lived out the rest of his life as a plantation owner. So he turned it into, Captain Captain Morgan turned into a real job. Yeah. He did pretty well. It's not Panama City, Florida, by the way.

I watched rumor that he might have terrorized 400. Would have made sense. Panama City Beach? Yeah, he didn't go to Club Flamingo or whatever. It is crazy. I mean, there's no international, there's no police for the international waters. I mean, once you're out there, it's just chaos. It's chaos.

I mean, he did, yeah, that's pretty crazy. So he was the title of deputy governor in Jamaica. So that's the problem. was the title of deputy governor in Jamaica. So that's the problem. They would come in, and he had 1,200 men, and so they're going to take over your town. They take over your country. And I think a lot of pirates were backed sometimes by countries,

by governments. If you were at war with another country, they wanted pirates just to mess with them. So sometimes I think countries would do it, and then you might be in good favor with them when you need some help you're used as mercenaries kind of yeah kind of they they wanted you to mess with other countries yeah uh i could see that it's pretty good that's funny they're like we hate them yeah by captain james all right came captain hook he's not real he's from peter pan but i put him on That's pretty good. That's funny. They're like, we hate him. Yeah. No, we love him. We love him. By Captain James Hook. All right.

Captain Hook, he's not real. He's from Peter Pan, but I put him on there because, again, a lot of people with the hook hand, the patch of the eye, I feel like there's a lot of images of a hook hand maybe being a real person. Yeah. It's not. But he wasn't. It's from Peter Pan.

Yes. Did pirates bury treasure? Um, in reality, pirates burying treasure was rare. The only pirate known to have actually buried treasure was William kid. He was believed to have buried some of his wealth near long Island before selling it to New York city.

He'd hoped that the treasure could serve as a bargaining chip and negotiation to avoid punishment. He was wrong. He was hanged as a bargaining chip in negotiation to avoid punishment. He was wrong. He was hanged as a pirate. And over the years, many people have claimed to have found maps and other clues that led to the pirate treasure or claim historical maps were actually treasure maps. But these claims are not supported by scholars. So there's like no reason to go look for pirate treasure.

I don't think so. Basically not there. I guess you could give this William Kidd's treasure. That's by where I grew up. Oh, oh yeah have you heard of this before yeah there's like all kinds of crazy legends where they're like you know as a kid you're like if you just go to this little area because the long island sound is like it's not huge it's long island to connecticut where i grew up it's like it's a small little area and there's all these little mini islands and people would be like they're still they're they're taking boats out and trying to find it man what yes that's what you heard as a kid just like you could get treasure yeah and so

you'd be like like yeah that's my mission you would go out as a kid like the goonies double yeah yeah yeah i thought buried treasure was like a common thing i thought pirate ships found were a common thing i thought uh so pirate ships are not found either the ship the y dock yda is one we saw sank off cape cod in 1717 they have they have stuff from that ship uh at your museum you went to museum we went to we went in the museum too and there's like a you know paper mache kind of like ship and at first i thought that was the actual ship like when we went in i was like wow this is a nice looking it really kept it up pretty nicely yeah like this it had uh it was carrying tens of thousands of gold coins and basically worth more than $100 million that ship was.

But they had that ship, so it's not even out there anymore. The ship is the only authenticated pirate ship ever to be found. Who has it? I mean, they had parts of it at that museum. Yeah, I think they loaned it to different museums. And you see different, like the Frist in Nashville brings in certain things sometimes. But the guy that found it got all that money. It's like a finder's keeper situation.

They sort of didn't talk about that. They were like, this guy found it, but they weren't like, he's the richest guy in Cape Cod history. it but they weren't like he's the richest guy yeah in cape cod history they did uh you know like burying stuff is like the people who do that now is like the paulo escobar like that if you're gonna go dig for stuff that's where you're gonna go dig for stuff that guy is buried a ton of money because they had so much money i bet money's buried because they just get i mean they have billions a bit they have more money they can even do. But their money goes bad, too. Because the money can't just live forever. Yeah.

It disintegrates. It's cash. Yeah, if it's cash, yeah. That's why I thought pirates would be burying stuff a lot more often. They can't use banks. They can't, if it's all illegitimate money. From what I read, it was a lot like what Nate said. They weren't stacking up riches.

They were just going from town to town, stealing some supplies, hooking up with women, drinking. They were living paycheck to paycheck. They really, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't think they even had, you know. Yeah, no one was, you know. I bet there was one pirate that's like, I got some money saved.

I'm going to one day get off this boat. It sounds like Captain Morgan did a pretty good job. Yeah. I think Captain Morgan is about your best, it probably seems like your best case scenario, like if you could find a guy like that and that's like, hey, we're going to turn this into owning, you know, a country, basically.

Yeah. It's like crazy Captain Morgan? You mean the guy that sells wheat now yeah that's just because that's old times man i used to do that stuff but not anymore the parrots really have did partially have parrots um the most likely origin of parents on pirate ships was centered on the trade of parrots as an exotic animal during the the golden age of piracy, there was well-established business and trade of exotic animals, including parrots as royalty in Europe.

Marveled in the parrot's ability to speak and imitate human voices. It was basically just like a status symbol. So they probably did have some just because they would steal exotic animals. Monkeys too. Monkeys was a big thing. Yeah.

Parrots and monkeys. They had a parrot at the Columbus Zoo that could say a couple things. Like hello and Kramer. His name was Kramer, so he could say Kramer. So we kept asking, what's your favorite Seinfeld character? And he'd be like, hello.

He wouldn't say it when you wanted to. Then later on he'd be a K he wouldn't he wouldn't say it when you wanted then later on they uh they like black cats they thought it brought good luck on the ship yeah and it took care of the mice i you know the i used to always try to do the black cat thing you know how do mice getting on these but i guess they get when they dock yeah and then it's a problem. Yeah. Like, I mean, they – I would always stay with black cats. I would always try to be, like, where – you know, if you see one, you're like, don't – but then you're like – I was in New York, and you're like – I mean, there's 5,000 black cats. You just can't – and New York is – Queens was just cats.

They're just running around. They're outside. In the bodegas. They're in the bodegas, but they're in the streets. They're just running around. They're outside. In the bodegas. They're in the bodegas, but they're in the streets. You just see them everywhere. And so it was like, well, I can't live by this. This is insane. I can't control these.

Yeah. Five times a day is a black cat running out in front of you? Yeah. Did the pirates wear eye patches? This is pretty interesting. Some assume pirates wore eye patches? This is pretty interesting. Some assume pirates wore eye patches to cover a missing eye or eye that was wounded in battle, which I would have thought. But in fact, an eye patch was more likely to be used to condition the eye so the pirate could fight in the dark. If a pirate was fighting on deck in the sunlight, then he had to continue the fight under the deck while it was usually pretty dark.

It could take too long for their eye to adjust and for the pirate to be able to see the eye patch could be used to prepare one eye to see in the dark so when they go below deck they could swap the eye patch from one eye to the other and see what the eye that already adjusted to the low light conditions this would allow them to instantly see in the dark. That's pretty good. That's pretty crazy. That's so wild. That's devoted to constantly wear that. That's so nuts that they're like, look. Well, they're probably wearing it when a fight is happening.

I bet, like, the fight's about to happen. How common are fights, and then how common are fights that transition to a different level of the ship? I'd be like, can we just stay up here? Yeah, right. Or when you see them coming from a mile away then put it on uh-huh i had our come yeah i'd have them come down what do you mean well once they get there they get there then be like i'm gonna stay down here when some guy probably did that because i'm gonna stay down here like why you're like i don't like the patch which's just easier i'll let him come down here he

goes but i'm gonna do really good when they come down you bring them down what if also like that's not true they just make that up like no no i'm really good in the dark i've been doing this with the patch go down there and there's can't see anything you're just doesn't work it's like what's the effort of being like i'm gonna fight with one eye you one eye. You're always going to be fighting with one eye. I mean, how much of that time? Like, that's what I would want to talk about. If I was with these pirates, I would be, how much are we saving? You know what I mean?

Like, because you go, when you go down there and your eye's got to adjust, is it five seconds? You know, you can't just, you know, for that moment. Yeah, like I said, are we going back up and down all the time? That's a great idea. And then the guy that came up with that idea is furious. He's like, it was my idea. You think my idea is great? I think your idea is great.

But I think it's insane for us to 90 in the fight with this the light eye we're fighting one-eyed for the chance for the chance that we're going to go down below deck how about we open windows below deck when the fight happens and then there's sun down there like that they just i just would like to be that pirate that's they to negotiate. He goes, I'm not saying that, you know, because the guy would be mad. That guy, he'd be like, that's my idea to do the, you know. Just everybody has one guy that's like, look, this is a multi-patch guy. This is the way we do it. And he's like, I just, it doesn't make sense though.

You know, it's for five seconds. Your eyes adjust. You're not down there for 40 minutes blind yeah and so i'm not gonna fight and then this guy's just killing everybody because he's got i don't know use both eyes yeah uh did they uh they make them walk the plank there's no proof that pirates ever made their enemies and victims walk the plank. Instead, real pirates during the 17th and 18th centuries were fond of equally unpleasant punishments such as flogging and marooning. If they ever did want to drown somebody, they probably just threw them over the side of

the ship. Yeah. Yeah, they're just tossing. I mean, marooning is just leaving somebody. Yeah, that was a real thing like just leave you on the island or something i'm afraid to ask what flogging is she's like beating you i feel like there's been present day flogging that still happens yeah yeah yeah yeah and uh singapore maroon yeah they would take you stay at fl flogging. They had a kid. There was remember there was a great Simpsons episode.

Yeah, that's what I remember. I don't remember the actual thing, but there was like an episode in the Simpsons where they reenacted what happened in Singapore where there was a kid that was like chewed gum or spit gum out or something. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, publicly like flogged. There was a whole thing and we tried to stop it, I think. I don't even remember if it was U.S. or England. Did flogging, do you get killed from it, or is it? It's like a spanking, a hardcore spank.

Well, it can be a lot worse. Jesus was flogged before he was crucified. Yeah. Yeah. Is that funny to you, Aaron? It's just funny to hear flog instead of scourging. It's flogging. Yeah. It's funny to you aaron it's just funny to hear fly instead of scourging it's flogging yeah it's funny to me um let's move on i know i'm like i'm not going with you there i'm like you can survive being marooned on an island yeah i mean you just if you if you have food

i think i can i think i can make stuff happen if i have to i think if i put my mind to it i know no one thinks i can't do i know i can't do anything there's a lot of stuff i can't do but if i have to i think i can like cast away yeah like i think i could figure i think i think a lot of people can't it's going to be in you you're going to die yeah so something's something's going to those instincts would kick in yeah i mean it's not gonna be good i mean some people are gonna do better than others uh but you got to figure it out it depends on the island i mean if they throw you on an island there's nothing yeah you're in big trouble it's also like in your head you think of being on this great tropical island but like what if you end up like off the coast of maine and you're on this

like island and it's like freezing cold that's true oh yeah you're done i mean then you're on this island and it's freezing cold. That's true. Oh, yeah, you're done. I mean, then you're, yeah. You have to try to hope you find a bear so you can lay in a bear. Or just some island like a Far Side cartoon. Just one little palm tree. That's in my head. That's what I'm thinking. Like nothing.

I'm sure there's islands that are nothing. And then where you're just, that's going to be brutal. I think Pirates of the Caribbean movies touched on a lot of these things. And one of the things they do in there, he would say parlay. Yeah. And that's like, that was a real thing, apparently. Like, if you're about to be killed, I guess, or executed, and you could say that. And it would earn you a chance to meet with the ship's captain or something.

Plead your case. Plead your case, I guess. So apparently that was a real thing that people would do. That's fun. Yeah. You could just yell parlay. In Pirates of the Caribbean, he would. Yeah.

I don't know if it was quite that, but they had a pirate code that was one of the things. You could yell it every time. Parlay. And he's like, off with his head. Parlay. God, we got to do this again. All right. Bring him back. If you yell it every time. Parley! And he's like, off with his head. Parley! God, we got to do this again. All right, bring him back. He goes, I'd like to hear your case.

Hey, how you doing? And he just never gets killed. Just keep saying it. Parley! And they go, this rule is ridiculous. The pirate code, this was, I thought, we read this in the, is a code of conduct for governing pirates.

A group of sellers on turning pirate would draw up their own code. It's, you know, every man has a vote in affairs of a moment. If they defrauded the company to the value of a dollar in plate, jewels, or money, marooning was their punishment. and plate jewels or money. Marooning was their punishment. If the robbery was only betwixt one another, they continued...

Yeah, some of these are kind of hard to... They continued themselves to slitting the ears and nose of him that was guilty and set him on shore, not in an uninhabited place, but somewhere where he was sure to encounter hardships.

So basically, if you got caught robbing, you would get your ears and nose slit, and then they'd maroon you. So you shouldn't do that. Well, no, I was saying, if they defrauded the company, they were marooned. If the robbery was only betwixt one another,

the rules are so confusing. They're like, what do we do again? Oh, they set him on shore. Not in an uninhabited place, but somewhere where he was sure to encounter hardships so if it was between two pirates you get your ears and nose slit which seems insane yeah and then you're put in like a place that where you're it's going to be a problem yeah you know like you're it's like basically we're throwing a bad neighborhood.

No person to game at cards or dice for money. I'm not saying this weird. No person to game at cards or dice for money. This is how they wrote it back then. What if I just spoke perfect pirate? That one surprises me. They don't let pirates... This was just Black Bart's house rules. Black Bart, pretty strict.

I think he knew it was trouble. I wonder if it was like the NBA, you could get like traded pirate ships. Like you could be like, I'm going to go to this. You know, you're a free agent and you could leave. Lights and candles to be put out at eight o'clock at night. If the crew wanted a drink, they have to go on the open deck. Teether piece, pistols and colors clean and fit for service. That basically meant you got to be ready to fight at any time.

Oh, yeah. No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them if any men were to be found with seducing any of the latter sex and carried her to sea disguised he was to suffer death. To desert the ship or the quarters in battle was punished with death or marooning. Here, you can read. All right. If you looked at them. No striking one another on board, but every man's quarrels to be ended on shore at sword and pistol. So basically, no fighting.

Until you got to the, let's take it outside. Yeah, exactly. Let's take it outside. No man to talk of breaking up their way of living till each had shared 1,000 pounds. If in order to this, any man should lose a limb or become a cripple in their service, he was to have $800 out of the public stock. So basically every ship needs to have 1,000 pounds on it,

and then from there on you split the money. I think that's right yeah if you lose a limb i think you get a little bit more yeah so they had a health care plan now remember this is this is bartholomew roberts this is his code yeah this is this guy is like the michael jordan of pirates right yeah there's one of them this clearly worked yeah well it was like real deal the lights got to be out you know like it's it's very, we're not, if you want to drink, go up there and drink. You go drink. I'm not, you know, I'm not your mom.

We're pirates, but we're professional. Right. He has a lot of rules. He's got a job to do. Yeah. He had a lot of rules. That's why he's successful. I mean, how do you know what time it is out there?

How do they know? The sun. Night time's harder. Night time's harder. Yeah. The captain and quartermaster received two shares of a prize. The master, Boatswain and Gunner, one share and a half. And other officers, one and a quarter.

So I guess that's just basic rules on how much you're getting paid. And the last one, the musicians to have rest on the Sabbath day, but the other six days and nights, none without special favor. So the musicians had to play the whole time except Sunday. Sounds like it. There's just music constantly going on. I mean, all day.

I bet it's all day, and you got to do it. I mean... The flute player is also like a stand-up, and they're like, I just do, you know, I want to open up. You just got to do the same set.

I would bet that the... Yeah, yeah i mean it could probably get pretty awkward on a ship you know i mean how big is this ship you know it's not like it's a cruise ship yeah so i mean i bet you need music to be like you gotta have something going on right we can't gamble yeah you know that's crazy that they couldn't gamble i think money could for money i bet i think some i mean other ships were it would probably be who do you want to be with like right black bar would be it's like going to the patriots you know where you're like yeah it's kind of a nightmare to deal with belichick but like you're gonna win some jam yeah or saban right yeah it's saban yeah and then you're you, Les Miles is the other guy that you're like, he's a fun time, man.

You can do whatever you want. Yeah, there's some victories, but it's definitely you don't have to live. We're not winning all the time, but, I mean, we're having way more fun. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you want. Mike Leach. Right.

You just go through. You want some guys that are kind of crazier. Who's Mike Leach? The Mississippi State coach. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah want some guys that are kind of crazier. Who's Mike Leach? The Mississippi State coach. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the guy that's kind of crazy. Yeah, yeah.

You got Lane Kiffin, Ole Miss. Yeah. So, Pirates today. They're still Pirates today. The Mexican cartels have Pirates. A turf war between rival drug cartels for control of Falcon Lake began in March 2010. It has led to a series of armed robberies and shootings. The lake is near the Mexico-Texas border near the Rio Grande River.

All attacks were credited to the Los Zetas cartel and occur primarily on the Mexican side of the reservoir. Within sight of the Texas coast, so-called pirates operate fleets of small boats designed to seize fishermen and smuggle drugs so a turf war between rival drug cartels for control falcon lake began in march 2010 uh sounds kind of crazy the lake would be yeah they say it was about a 60 mile wide lake so it's a big lake it's a big lake like on a you're like yeah i'm gonna get you at some point it's hard to is this still going on or is over no it's still going on yeah falcon lake so you could go to falcon lake right now and you'd be a problem maybe yeah samaria is the one that i think

most of us think about yeah now moderate uh because captain phillips yeah we need a tom hanks movie to bring us back into anything. I know. The island. Castaway. Yeah. In the early 2000s, Somalia pirates began hijacking commercial vessels. They were badly affected by poverty and government corruption. So there was little political motivation to deal with the crisis. Large numbers of unemployed Somali youth began to see it as a means of

supporting their families. However, by 2013, the U.S. Office of Naval Intelligence reported that only nine vessels had been attacked during the year by the pirates with no successful hijackings. They attributed the 90% decline in pirate activity to armed private security on board, a significant naval presence, and the development of onshore security forces. I think a big part of it, too, is just how high the ship goes up now, too. You know what I mean? If you've got a big enough ship, it's a little – they don't have a big ship.

They've got a little – like this thing that goes up to it, and then it's like just 50 feet in the air. They're like – you can't just climb on a cruise ship. Yeah. You know, like if it goes straight up. Is that not true? I don't know that they've gotten that much bigger that quickly. If you look at a naval ship, where are you getting on the ship at?

But they're not attacking naval ships. Car guys. But I'm saying that the decline is just straight up. Bigger ships? Get a boat they can't get on. You're saying the Somalia pirates are on little fishing boats? Yeah. Fountains?

Yeah. And Captain Phillips, the first time they didn't catch them. Remember they released all that water? I never watched Captain Phillips. Oh, it's a great movie. It's great. But they had ways to kind of like stop them, but they eventually just got around them and got on.

Yeah. They would still get on. Yeah. Yeah. And so they're, yeah, they're doing it though. I mean,

there's so, imagine if you're just a pirate. I mean, there's a pirate out there right now. Yeah. Right now. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. There's gotta be not bunch, not a lot of them. Just, I mean, there's, maybe he's listening to nate land and he's just out there he hasn't seen a boat in three days he's like every time i get close

they just go the other way and i can't make ground i feel like too when pirates of the caribbean was like the biggest thing in the world yeah was that motivating more people to be like i want to be a pirate maybe i should be a pirate you know you're not in samoa i think i think it's just really poor young yeah man yeah so samoa is where it's at if you're going to be a pirate they're the ones especially early 2000s yeah so it's uh 2009 2009 vessels have been attacked nine i mean what are they how are they making any money how much is being transported on boats these days i mean obviously back in the 1700s that's how almost everything was being transported now it's all air not long beach is crazy yeah long beach is yeah when you when you go there it's like you just see these massive boats which i agree with nate's like

they're so high up if you're on a little boat or even just like a pretty big boat yeah you still have to basically have 15 boats on top of each other just be able to walk on like you used to be able to a pirate in the 1700s yeah uh yeah you know while they're shipping by shore it's actually everything actually the shore places you know how much more you can ship on a ship you know why they're shipping by shore? It's actually the shore places. You know how much more you can ship on a ship? You know what I mean? Like you can load those. Yeah, those huge cargo.

Those huge cargo things. You have 400 of them. A plane can only take, I mean, not even one. Like a car. If you're bringing cars on a plane. Yeah, a car. Yeah, you can ship 1,000 cars. So it's actually probably, I'm actually, now there's a ton.

Actually, pirates should be. It should be way more common. Well, but then what are they going to steal? You're going to be like, let's get this car, back it up, and then you just, huh? I'm always amazed by trains. What are they transporting and where are they going? I think, but it is is it's the amount the the

quantity that you can move is it's more than a plane a plane's gonna have to go back and forth and you just train just goes right so there'll be more train robbers maybe there are you know i'm out you know i don't know but they it's so i think it's i think it's now the security of this stuff. I think robbing and this kind of crime, it's all going to go. You got the cartels, so that's thriving. That's going to still keep going. But other ways, it's all digital now. If you're going to get into it, you got to be piracy through the internet. It's way less sexy now.

It's like, we're less sexy now it's like we're taking bitcoin yeah yeah i like that well pirates of the future by what was the caribbean oh well there's a political crisis going on in venezuela so piracy's kind of picked back up uh is it caribbean or caribbean caribbean i never know yeah i think it. We're looking at you, Penguin. I think both are right. And they're good. Kirby. In 2016, former fishermen became pirates with attacks happening almost daily and multiple killings occurring. By 2018, as Venezuelans became more desperate, Venezuelan pirates spread throughout the Caribbean waters.

That's crazy. So, yeah. Yeah. That's still going on. All right. Sorry. Pirates of the future, if that, yeah. Yeah. That's still going on. All right. Sorry. Pirates of the Future, if anyone was wondering. Yeah.

By 2050, cargo ships are likely to be fully automated without human crews. Such ships are already being built and will likely be standard in 30 years. Stealing without killing will certainly be more romantic than taking hostages or killing crews. Pirates' weapons should not be aimed at hurting people, but rather at hacking AI and disabling automated defense systems, including armed drones.

So it's basically Elon Musk is going to be the... Somebody steal my Teslas. Yeah, basically. Electrical weapons make more sense than guns or cutting or bludgeoning weapons a major issue may be avoiding capture or destruction by supersonic drones directed to sites of pirate attacks yeah so that i mean that's the that's what's going to happen they're going to just be stealing and hopefully stealing stuff and then you're selling it on the

black market yeah what if one of these new age pirates still just wants to go back to like the old way with like the patch? I mean, there has to be. I'm better at hacking kind of in the dark. That's what I mean. There has to be a guy that's just kind of still out there, you know?

And he's like, I think we're doing great. Like, I mean, he honestly might be in the, is the water right now. Yeah. And just, and one we're doing great. Like, I mean, he honestly might be in the water right now. Yeah. And just, and one of the other pirates is going, it's over, man.

And he goes, it's not over. We're the only ones left. We have, he's like, I know, but it just doesn't work like this anymore. He's like, but no one's doing it. How great would that be if there's like a generation of marooned family like from there's like a little island and they just keep like you know yeah no one knows about generations from like blackbeard's boat and they're just like they're growing up and you know and they're gonna come out and go crazy that'd be crazy i mean they're they'd be like

yeah it's like bank robbers and now you'd be into crime it's interesting how do you get into crime like you know how would you ever just go i'm gonna get into crime i'm gonna you know i think you ease into it you know you start to commit little small small crimes and that's what i said about somalia at, they were just holding very small boats for ransom, and then they started seeing how much money they could make, and then they went for the big vessels. It gets easier every time. And that's where it becomes a problem.

Everybody, when you go for more, and you're trying to go for a bigger vessel, that's like, well, we got to protect yourself more. Yeah, I mean, who, I mean, they would, how much money could they be getting, though? It's like, I don't know. Depends what's in the boat. Ransom is big for the cartel kind of stuff.

They're real big into ransom. Like, so they, you know... Because I bet there's so many cases of the ransom that you're like, yeah, they probably do get the money. You know, because it's like some family's like, okay. I mean, do they let the guy go? Does it work? Is the system in place?

I don't i mean it didn't work for captain phillips because that was the one american one that they yeah captured and they held them but it's such a great moment in that or in the movie at least i don't know if it's but you know he's talking about he's like we're gonna get away and tom hanks is like you're not getting away there's the u.s going after you. There's like a plane. It's not going to end good. And he's like, that moment where you're like, oh, yeah, this is probably going to be bad.

Yeah. And the movie kind of shows what these young men's lives were like before they did this. They're not just terrible people that just want to get rich. We all just watch the movie right after this, and there's the donut competition. Yeah, I've never seen the movie. It's great.

I've never seen it either. Yeah. We need to watch it. I am the captain now. That's all. Yeah, that's the greatest line. I am the captain now. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Did you guys know about this? They celebrate it every year. It just happened. In the 1990s, International Talk Like a Pirate Day was invented as a parody holiday celebrated on September 19th. This holiday allows people to let out their inner pirate and to dress and speak as pirates are stereotypically portrayed to have dressed and spoken.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day has gained popularity throughout the internet since its founder set up a website which instructs visitors in pirate speak. This is basically like halfway to St. Patrick's Day. We want you to just get hammered. This is a drinking holiday that we're...

I don't think it's taken off. This is the first time I'm hearing about it. You're in a different circle. I knew about this. You knew about Pirates Day? I didn't know about anything but this. I knew about this holiday, and I know people that dress up and get crazy. There's Catalina Island off of Los Angeles has like a Pirate Day where it's like they charge people like different rates to get onto the island because it's so crazy.

There's so many boats, and people just get nuts. Why do they charge them different rates? I think that like you can't get a hotel it's like uh there's just so many people so so they're charging who different right like different like everybody on the island is dressed like a pirate and hammered yeah you i mean you're not even remotely answering the question of why are they charging different rates? Did you mean like more money? I'm not into it. They charge like a crazy.

You're talking about different rates than normal rates. Yeah. Higher rates. Higher rates. Okay. And there's like no docking because all these boats from all over, they turn their boats into like pirate ships. Yeah. People are just, you know, from like 7 in the morning, just crazy.

I mean, just think about it. You're traveling. I'm thinking about it traveling to get hammered as a pirate. Yeah. And dressed up and everyone's in this. And people talk about it. It's like people travel from far to go. Yeah. I think there's a big one in Tampa, too.

I was in Tampa. They have like a Mardi Gras for pirates. I feel like that would be a good place. What are buccaneers? That's just another word for pirate. Okay. Isn't it? Yeah.

Probably much more. Would you want to be a buccaneer or a pirate? I would think the guy at the beginning, Bartholomew, he would be like, we're buccaneers because we do things right. And then he's like, well, I'm a pirate because you're way stupid. And then like, you know what I mean? It's the difference between the Raiders and the Bucks. Yeah.

Oh, the Raiders. That's pirates too. Fan base. Oh, Raiders. So, yeah. I think so. Isn't their logo? Their symbol is. Yeah.

Yeah, their logo is a pirate. With the patch. Fighting in the dark. Buccaneer is a pirate originally of the Spanish American coast. Okay. We didn't talk about the Jolly Roger. That's the skull and crossbones. Yeah.

And pirates did fly those, you know, fly. I don't know. I don't know why it's called the Jolly Roger, but that's what that flag's called. Blackbeard did not. He had his own. What was his? It was also pretty scary, but wasn't the.

So they did the skull and bones, about the only thing that was real. Yeah. Blackbeard was... He was real. Blackbeard, they had the long black beard, and he would put hemp in his beards and set it on fire to scare people. Pulled up Blackbeard Barbershop in Lebanon.

Is that where you go? Don't worry about it, Aaron. I feel like there was probably also sort of like the comedy scene, like the alternative scene of Pirates, where like one one pirate ship was like, look, we don't do anything in black. There's no skulls. There's no patches. Yeah.

They just go. Every yourself. A buccaneer was like calling yourself a humorist. Yeah. You know, come on. We're pirates. Yeah. The progressive woke pirate ship.

This is so this is Blackbeard's Jolly Roger flag. Yeah. That's a crazy flag, woke pirate ship. This is, so this is Blackbeard's, the Jolly Roger flag. Yeah. Mine. That's a crazy flag. Man. Yeah. This is like, all right, when you get- It depicts a devil piercing their heart.

Yeah. While toasting the devil. That's the ship you don't want to get taken over by, where they're like, they're also going to eat us when this ship comes here. Yeah. Yeah, well, and that's why he was why Blackbeard was so good. He's so good.

Head of his time. Edward Teach. That name wouldn't have lasted. That's why I'm about Blackbeard. I do have a name. It's Edward Teach. I'll be your pirate, the main pirate today. Oh, God.

What if we were pirates? What kind of job do you think you would have as a pirate? Oh, this is fun. I think you'd already be thrown off, Nick. I feel like I would be the good dinner's ready pirate. The hype man. Just come out like, God. You've already been typecast in a movie.

I've played this role. I know I could do it. I've done it on screen. What were you? I was basically like uh you know my name was like trim right back i was like the sidekick i would throw like a line basically it's basically like you just reiterate everything when you're like uh dinner's ready ah dinner's ready you know you like over everything good with that i was good at like repeating stuff

yeah yeah but i feel like how many jobs there's like maybe the accountant brian it could be the uh yeah you'd be the i don't know cooker i would be the captain and i would feel like he's trying to take over yeah i'd probably have him or pretty quickly yeah because i would just feel the threat of it that y'all would wake up one morning and i would just be like aaron's dead i feel like what happened like i killed myself i just could feel because i think and I would just be like, Aaron's dead. And then what happened? I killed him. I just could feel because I think Aaron would always be like, I don't think we should be doing this. I don't think we should be going this way. And I think he would

be that. I don't think they were going west. His face would be just worried that Aaron's dead. What else could you be besides the captain? I feel like on this you're the captain of the ship if you were going to be another kind of pirate role uh if i'm not on this yeah if you're not if this is not the bait land if this is the baits land podcast now we're talking yeah you're about to

yeah we're talking you're what kind of pirate what what other kind of pirate thing could you be? I mean, I think I'd just be, you know, I could be one of the crazy ones. I don't know. We didn't even talk about what their levels are. Yeah, Aaron would be one of the musicians, maybe. Yeah. That's right. I'd get the Sabbath day off. Yeah.

Because how many roles are there? I'd just be like a maniac. I think I would just be a maniac. Yeah. Get your sword, everybody. Like, that's it. There's a cook. There's maybe the guy that's in charge of the money well then you got guys in charge of other ships you'd be good at moving supplies and stuff yeah like you could bounce the tires oh yeah yeah i know how to move stuff yeah i think i'd be a good planner i'd be a good

planner i could be you know i could like's the, what are we trying to do? You want to work in the corporate office. You don't want to be on the ship is what it sounds like. You'll be. No, no. I mean, you got to have someone on the, this is all on the ship. Oh, there's no, I think everything's on the ship. I don't think you have an office back.

I think it's, I think you're on the ship and this is the ship. I think I'd be gunning for to eventually hopefully get one of my own ships because if there's multiple ships you know you'd have a crew you get your crew but basically the tour bus is your ship and you have your own rules yeah yeah yeah i do have my rules that's what's funny they did have rules yeah everybody that breaks that is a law breaker immediately has rules you can't have it which is always so funny yeah to be like the guys that don't like the rules go we're gonna make our own thing but there's gonna be some rules yeah which is unbelievable like you know it's like i mean it's

just so funny to go we gotta because you gotta have rules and then the main thing you're breaking the rules from you're going is like yeah yeah that's what we're doing man and he goes i know but i don't i don't like your rules yeah i built my own thing it is but there's rules over here my other thing it is so just great though it's like guys welcome to chaos everyone you have to tuck in your shirts you know yeah yeah lights out by eight eight o''clock, no lights on. That's crazy. That's insane. We've got a long day of killing and robbing people tomorrow. Lights out.

Do you want to be doing this forever? They're like, I mean, I guess. I feel like they would all be like, yeah. I mean, the pirate's not like a, you don't retire from it. I don't think these guys have families. Well, there's not a lot of mobility in the pirate life, too. It's either you're going to jump off the boat with a sword. There's got to be literally going back to one guy steering,

one guy is making sure that the gold is like he's, you know, and then everybody else is like running, jumping off the boat to another boat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One guy's driving it. Yeah. Yeah.

But everybody, you got to keep people back because to keep people back. What do they do? How many people were on a boat? I don't think there was a ton. I don't think these boats were as big as they make them out to be. 300 loyal pirates to man them. So this one guy had four ships and 300 pirates. Blackbeard did. And it wasn't like a gang that you initiated and you're in it for life.

A lot of these pirates would do it, maybe one journey and then they move on to something else. Yeah, they kind of go. But also it's like the 300 pirates, the majority of them are just there for the audience, for the band. They would just want people to like... Yeah. So they'd have roughly

75 people, you know, something like that. Do you think he would honor COVID rules? Sounds like the one guy with a mask. Everybody wash your hands. Six feet apart. I mean,

Blackbeard was, yeah, I mean, he was doing what he, you know, he was doing it as a professional. Black Bart's the one

that had the rules. Oh, Black Bart. Yeah, Black Bart had the rules. Yeah. And then Captain Morgan, I mean, Captain Morgan

has crushed it. Yeah, man Bart had the rules. And then Captain Morgan, I mean, Captain Morgan has crushed it. Yeah, man. I mean, he's quietly backed by England. I mean, yeah. Captain Morgan just did, he just did everything. I mean, and now he's still doing it today. I mean, he's an icon. Yeah.

I mean, you could never imagine. That guy, it's a icon. Yeah. As I mean, they, you could never imagine that's it. That guy, it's pretty crazy. Just killed. Just families were terrorized by this guy. And now we're like, it's a commercial. And it didn't take that long. I mean,

it's only a couple hundred years. It's kind of like the hip hop artists from like the nineties that would be like gangster rappers. And now they're like in family movies and yeah. Yeah. Ice cube. Yeah. Uh, specifically ice cubes. That's exactly what I was thinking of, but I couldn't. gangster rappers and now they're like in family movies and you know it's like yeah ice cube yeah uh specifically ice cubes that's exactly what i could i couldn't remember the name so i'm like you know artists as uh you know that one guy yeah uh all right that's it right yeah it's all pirate

stuff uh all right well thank you guys uh for listening as as always you know do all the stuff you do rate like you know all that I can't remember all the stuff that it's on we can't thank you enough

for all that one night only tour this is it starting we're going to Cleveland this coming up we're coming up in Cleveland tomorrow

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