The Nateland Podcast - 157: #157 Appliances

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

This week, Brian plays Dungeons & Dragons for the first time, Dusty takes a much needed nap on the road, and Nate returns from his celebrity golf tournament. Then the guys delve into the serious topic of appliances by discussing dishwasher loading technique, the proper temp to set your refrigerator, and how to keep your pizza crispy in the microwave. iBotta - Right now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code NATE when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code NATE. Rocket Money - RocketMoney.com/Nate Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/nate. Helix - HelixSleep.com/Nate Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/Nate AND USE CODE HELIXPARTNER20. This is their best offer yet and it won’t last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. Goodr - Goodr.com/NateIf you want to support the show and pick up a pair,  goodr is giving NATELAND listeners FREE SHIPPING on your first order! Go to goodr.com/NATE and use code NATE to get FREE shipping.  Goodr offers a 30 Day Money Back Guarantee and 100% Satisfaction.

If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get a pro at Tread Experts. Until December 8th, get $70 on a Bridgestone prepaid MasterCard when you buy four eligible Bridgestone tires, or up to $120 with Blizzac or Weatherpeak tires. Find a Bridgestone Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there at tread experts.ca slash locations. Today's episode of the Nate land podcast brought to you by I bought a rocket money Helix Sleep

Hello folks and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land Podcast With Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay Alright This is a nighttime taping This is as late as we've ever taped a podcast I might like it. Are we going to start doing it all the time? I don't know.

We'll see how the energy is. One o'clock comes quick for a comedian. Yeah. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. Does it not? Of course. Yeah.

Well, it's come quick for me for a long time. Get up. It's upon you. It's just like that. Yeah, yeah. I wake up at like 7 a.m. every day. You do? Yeah. Were you like that before the kid not not that early but yeah i mean with the kid i mean my daughter now just wakes up and i'm the go-to guy yeah do you ever wake up and like expect the sun

to not be there well i mean well one day yeah one day i do think that I'll wake up and it won't be there. Do you keep an eye on it? Do you think you wake up and just a little make sure you see it? Well, I do like to look, yeah, because sometimes I'll be like, those clouds don't seem real, and I don't know what's going on up there. I like that, to do a little wake up, make sure everything's. Just a quick peek outside. Just a quick peek outside, make sure the sun's right,

and then be like, all right. And then kind of start your day. When I was in school, I feel like they would have us look at the clouds, and it would be like cumulus clouds and cirrus clouds. Circula nimbus, is that one? Maybe there was a different one, but I don't remember a lot of the clouds that I see today. There's just a weird kind of cloud out there.

Now it's chemtrails. Well, maybe. I don't know what it is. You said it, not me. You ever think it's weird that the sun goes down in the west and then you're looking to the west and it pops up from the east? Yeah. It is wild.

You got a pretty aggressive hat on today. Aaron Weber. Yeah Yeah what is that? It's the Indianapolis Clowns Okay It's a minor league team It's a negro league team Is it? Oh really?

I think Nashville had a team of clowns as well Nashville Stars Yeah I think they had the Stars When we get a major league team that's what they're going to be called right? Yeah how were those games growing up? Yeah I think they're the stars Because that's what When we get a major league team That's what they're going to be called right Yeah How were those games growing up What are you going to say Do you think

Sheila Stroh Jackson did it I was there Yeah Does anybody Do you know Sheila Stroh Jackson Oh yeah I know the name But I think it's from

It was a big It was a movie Came out though When we were kids You'll know it from Field of Dreams. Field of Dreams, yeah. Eight Men Out. Yeah, Eight Men Out.

Isn't Ray Liotta a Shoeless Joe Jackson? I think so, yeah. In Field of Dreams, yeah. Yeah, no, not in real life. Well, we just mentioned another movie about Shoeless Joe Jackson. The Black Sox. Yeah. Yeah.

We did... Yeah, we're doing this one tonight. I just got back uh from the american century uh championship i watched the entire thing did you really did i get seen on did they show us i saw you one time i um recorded and then every night i would fast forward just looking for you the only time i saw you was during the closest to the pin contest. They didn't show your shot, but you were there in the group. You were sitting in like a director's chair.

Yeah. And then group photo, I saw you in. They didn't show my shot? Mm-mm. I came in third place. Yeah. You got to make a hole in one to make it on. I was 23 feet away.

It wasn't that bad. You know, the funny thing, you posted the day before, because they didn't show it until Sunday. Yeah. that was saturday right okay yeah and you posted it and i was reading them to ruch you didn't care but i was reading them and i was like ribeiro is that how you say his name alfonso alfonso and he said five foot eight and i told her that's a joke because he's so short that he listed his height and then i'm watching it the next day and that was real oh yeah he got it real close i mean uh so this this whole thing you understand any of that no that last part i didn't understand at all they do a hole-in-one challenge so whoever gets closest to the pin wins so there's a pin and carlton from fresh prince he got his height

away from the hole oh okay it's a funny was a funny coincidence. Oh, okay. Yeah. So the object is to get the ball in the hole. Steph Curry got the hole in one? Yes. On this contest? Yeah. Not, no, on this golf tournament. Okay. So this golf tournament, one of the funnest times of my life.

It was the best. Yeah. The whole thing is, I think if more, look, Tahoe,oe like i get like if you're down here in the you know if you live in the south or it's like tahoe is not an easy place or a place that we think about going uh but man what an event to go to i mean you signed i was not prepared for what it was i you uh we got in and right when i got in we kind of like i had to go i played in two pro-ams uh at that course and fans are allowed to walk around those pro-ams so uh you got two days of the program then three days of the actual tournament and uh it's i mean right

when you get there i mean you're just like kind of mobbed and everybody's like, Hey, you're signing autographs. You're taking pictures. It's a pretty overwhelming kind of thing, especially not expecting it, but it's also done very, very nice. I mean, everybody's so nice. Every, the fans are so wonderful and they're walking around and they're, you take pictures and you meet a lot of people. And it was, I met, Laura just sent me that picture. I didn't meet. My buddy, Kellen, he came and I haven't seen him. Kellen, I did a polar plunge. And the guy in the right behind him in the red shirt, I met him too.

That guy hung out and kind of followed us around for like two days. That guy was a great guy. He's a big fan of the podcast. It does look like me on there. Yeah. I think that's Aaron. And I made a video for him because his wife was watching the kids. And so he could come back one more day.

Oh, that's nice. But Kellen here is the best. So that was the last time I've seen Kellen. We did a polar plunge together and he i kellen had been doing on that whole day he's he's unreal and i mean wow and they it was the funniest thing because they when we did the polar plunge we were uh i came out and they were like you could go to the middle to jump in or go to the left. And they go, don't go to the left. And Kellen goes, well, that's where I go. And Kellen just went to the left.

And then we jumped in. I immediately tried to get as fast as I can. And then he was in there a little longer than me and then got out. And so, I mean, just a wonderful, wonderful surprise that I did not expect to see him there. And I got to see him. And he walked around me one of the days. And, I mean, he's the best. Kellen has not changed a bit. You, on the other hand. I have changed, yeah.

Where was the polar bear plunge? And where was this? This was a few years ago when I did it with Kellen. And then where were you at this? That was in Minneapolis. And then Utah. I mean, Utah. Lake Tahoe.

Oh, yeah. Wow. But so like, I mean, you just walk around like, you know, you have the groups following you and you're playing. And it's, I played, you know, it's a stable for, my goal was to, I wanted to beat all the comedians. And I did. But I mean, it's not. All – my goal was to – I wanted to beat all the comedians, and I did. But, I mean, it's not – All right. You've got to celebrate that.

You've got to celebrate that. Ray Romano, Rob Riggle, Colin Jost, Cable Guy. Nice. You beat a lot of athletes, though. Yeah. I think you finished, what, tied for 53rd? I think so. Out of how many people?

54. It was – that was my mom joke. She made that joke too. But it was, it was out of 90 something maybe or something like that. All right. I was kind of in the middle. Yeah. I did not play good the first day.

You're kind of nervous. Yeah. I didn't really know what to expect. I was nervous. And then, and then the last two days I played better. You cannot double bogey. That's the big key.

Cause you get, you lose minus two points if you double bogey. So being in the positive, once I looked at the scoring and you go out there, you're, you realize finishing in positives, like, so you get 10 points for a double Eagle. and you go out there, you realize finishing in positives. So you get 10 points for a double eagle,

eight points for a hole-in-one, which Steph Curry got a hole-in-one. I think for a hole-in-one, an eagle is maybe six points, a birdie is three points, a par is one point, a bogey is zero points. Double bogey, minus two points. That means you do that two times in a row, a double bogey? I don't. Oh, yeah. I played a little golf on the arcade here and there.

I've seen eagle and bogey. No, double bogey would be on one hole. So if it's a par four, a bogey took you five shots, and a double bogey is six shots. Oh, six, yeah. Triple, seven, triple. But they don't – oh, no, no, no. If you're triple and quadruple, then you're probably not even on the tour. Well, that's why they only let you put – they stop it at two points.

So, like, if you got a double eagle – I mean, a double bogey before you're even to the green, like you've hit in the water and all this stuff, you just pick your ball up and you're just kind of like all right just minus two points we don't have all day yeah yeah well they tell when they first started doing this tour they would do the real score but i mean it's like embarrassing because like guys are shooting 112 and then you're like well i don't you know if they're like it's some guy that was a right fielder for the phillies just out there and you're like hey you shot 140 today how was a right fielder for the Phillies just out there, and you're like, hey, you shot 140 today. How do you feel? And he's like, oh, I don't know if I want that.

So they did it this day before and it moves it along a lot quicker. But you got to put everything in and out. I think I shot an 88 first day, 82 second day, 85 third day. A lot of doubles, and that's where i messed up uh but it's i mean what an event to go to if you're you know with kids a lot of kids you can get autographs they all you know uh you know obviously they go after the athletes mainly uh last night at zany's a regular at the club has become a buddy of mine listens to the podcast he handed me i left it in the car i wish i'd have brought it in he handed me the betting slip from

he bet on you the whole thing yeah and the odds at the time that he bought it were like 250 000 to one yeah it would have been a good payoff for it'd be good i bet on myself you could do it at the casino and it was 20 uh I think it was 250 it was like 20 bucks to win like 2500 or something or it was something I don't remember uh but they don't uh they don't know but I mean you're there with just like all these crazy celebrities like I met John Elway talked to him for quite a while that's awesome he's the best and not what you would expect really not what you would expect. Really not what you would expect. I expect him to be kind of braggadocious.

Not braggadocious, but just a big cocky guy. Like stoic too. He's like a fun guy. Yeah. Like a super fun guy. It's honestly, I kind of expected a little like, hey, how you doing? Like proper stoic. Like it's a hard handshake.

Like a senator. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's a hard handshake. Like a senator. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just a good time. John Elway's a good time. Like you could see if you're Peyton Manning and you go meet him, you're like, this is my guy. Yeah. This guy is awesome.

That's a party. Like it's a party. Yeah. And it's a fun time. And obviously he's John Elway. Yeah. Met Steve Young. Got a picture with John Elway and Steve Young.

Oh, wow. Steve Young. Found out he's coming to the Salt Lake City show. Oh, that's great. Yeah, they all like, everybody's just, you know, so nice. And Baker Mayfield, hung out with him. Jim McMahon. I love Baker Mayfield

Jim McMahon love that guy yeah yeah yeah Jim McMahon's a fun time too I don't think I know Charles Barkley was the Bears quarterback

I saw Charles like Charles is very nice very you met him talked to him for a bit I met him and I said I introduced myself

or whatever I didn't expect him he was like I know you and then that was it they did and I was like oh that's crazy yeah it was like, I know you. And then that was it. They did it and I was like, oh, that's crazy. Yeah.

It was, because you, I mean, you were there. You're like, I don't expect anybody to know. Sure.

He was a comic. Yeah. Jim McMahon was out there barefoot. Do you like him? Yeah, I do like him. The kicker who kicked barefoot. No, no. He's,

Jim McMahon's one of the 85 quarterback for the Bears. Super Bowl for the Bears in 85. Probably a lot of pesticides out there on the golf, the golf course though. Probably not for your feet. Yeah.

I think his feet have been through it. I think they've seen his day. Could, uh, if Steph Curry devoted, instead of playing basketball, if he'd just try to be a professional golfer, could he,

I don't know. I mean, he would have to really, I don't like everybody saw what happened, like in all this stuff and like how good he is and he's unreal. And like Marty Fish, the tennis player, and like these guys are unreal. But man, when you go play with these pros, it's because Steph Curry played an event and like he did good one day. But I mean, to do it for four days and like you can have a round where you go.

But I mean, dude, the pros are. There's still a noticeable difference. They don't make a mistake at all like if you i watched the last because i got done early and so i was in the hotel room and i just watched like the end of the round when they were playing i mean on one of the holes it's like you you know steph went off in the woods they all kind of went off the woods like and they get back and kind of can bogey it or whatever. And they're shooting 67. He shot like 400 one day and like even. And an unbelievable golfer.

But that course is altitude, not the longest. So these guys can bomb it far. And it's not taking anything away from him. But the difference of him and a pro is it's pretty crazy. It would be, I mean, it would be like a good, you know, someone becoming Steph Curry, you know, like, uh, I mean, Dustin Johnson, I think could have played basketball like in college and you're being like, well, could he have been Steph Curry?

Like, I mean, but he can go be Steph Curry in golf, and, like, he can do that. But, I mean, he's – the real golfers are – it's another world, dude. These dudes, they bomb it, and they bomb it straight, and it just never goes off. And if they would have been on the – where they were, like, in this altitude and where these t's were i mean they would have drove a lot of greens they'd have went for them they would have got way ahead speaking of long drives what is this video that i got here brian well this is uh i believe it's someone you need your you lost a bet to nate that you have to mention oh eli yeah right eli yeah i did eli who uh this is their pro-am i

don't know his last name but uh eli he's he's gonna go play golf i mean this is the difference he's playing i think he might be going to college to play golf he's maybe he's high school and so we're playing and then he told me me if he can out drive me, I will mention him on a podcast. Pretty easily did that. I, I then proceeded. That's Nate. Yeah.

Did you hit yours good? Here's how I was hitting my drivers so bad that I did not use driver during the tournament. Oh, wow. So what what this is the pro am so thursday so friday saturday sunday i used three wood the whole time wow did not use driver so elon gave me another chance with this three wood i was bombing this three wood eli so then we let eli go is that his dad there yeah uh no i don't think his dad's filming and then uh we mentioned it you can fast forward like it's uh he like crushes it i mean because this is eli's gonna go play for real and he just bombs it right over the uh thing with all that pressure you know he hasn't swung a club

a great swing yeah it's just immediately was better than mine. Yeah. It sounded better. And it's the, but that's the difference. And that's just a kid that's going to go play in college. Steph Curry's very, very good. But this is their life. Well, who won the whole thing?

Steph Curry. Oh, okay. He had an eagle the last. Yeah. There was a weird situation. If you go watch him, Marty Fish, a tennis player, was up. And on 18, right when he swung, someone yelled in his backswing. And it was on purpose.

Oh, wow. And it was yelled because it was yelled perfectly. Del Curry? Yeah, in my opinion. Yeah. But it was someone in the crowd, and they yelled. And then Marty Fish's ball went way right. And then so he had to punch out and all this stuff and just make par,

and then Steph Curry made an eagle, and he won. So you don't get a redo if somebody yells out at the golf course? No, because, I mean, it's real rules and stuff. They have rules officials and all that stuff. They kick you out if you're caught doing that, right? Yeah, but, I mean, it's just kind of crazy because it's like marty fish is on a good roll he's up it's a par five that like if he birdies he wins automatically uh not saying he would have birdied it but it's that's a big deal that's a it's a crazy deal he had a punch out and then have a long he had a tough par to make going to me well i mean that yeah i

mean i don't think no one rigged but it's like you get a lot of steph curry fans out there yeah and so they don't want steph curry to lose and it's crazy that steph even won but it's uh it was it was a you know it's it's a weird thing but that the event is super fun uh very very kid friendly uh you know kids signing autographs and or you sign a lot of kids autographs a lot of like it's a every the the celebrities are all cool i mean the ones you know i met they were awesome and it's i i i highly i mean if you're either want to go to it or if you're around that area, when that comes, that's a great event to go to a fun, you know, if you want to meet some players, it's easy. It's pretty easy access to meet everybody. I don't know about me, you know, Steph and that's, you have to go.

I think you would meet them, but it's going to be a lot harder to meet like, you know, the Steph Currys or the Mahomes, because I think the crowds are pretty big around them. Yeah. What about Kevin from The Office? I golfed with him two days. Awesome. Brian Bomp Gardner. He's great.

He's great. I had him and Cable Guy, and then I had him and Rob Riggle, which was super fun. And then last day I had Hallie Ledbetter. She's very funny, and she does a lot of golf videos and stuff. him and Rob Riggle, uh, which was super fun. And then last day at Howie led better, very, she's very funny. And she does a lot of golf videos and stuff. And,

uh, I did a video with her once. And then, uh, she does stuff on golf pass. And then, uh, Colin Jost.

Yeah. I've known Colin for a while, but we've never really got to walk and hang out. And so that was pretty cool. When you play that 17, I mean, it's like music playing. It's,

I mean, it's a lot of people out there. It's's a real turn i mean it's it was fun to watch yeah it it is fun to watch and i think people like watching uh like what it would look like if you got if they golfed out there yeah because you're i know ray romano's a good golfer but they he putted pretty far off the green uh like he was out there in the fairway and put it it was a great putt yeah but i'm like that's my kind of guy right there yeah well ray ray played really good ray was i was uh as the comics being the comics i was like i got nervous because he was at zero then he had one point he might have finished at one point uh but ray seemed to play pretty good and uh it's you know and then you got like if i we didn't if i would have had double bogeys which is

a big wish list to not have those i would i would have had 30 points but double bogeys are that's i gotta get rid of those before next year but what a great event and it's super fun and yeah and if you got look if you want to meet celebrities like me who will you can walk right up to me you know there's a lot of us you can come up pretty quick uh close but i think you can get close there but if you go sit somewhere, you're going to get close to everybody. And, you know, I mean,

it's Vince Carter. It's like, it's all these, it's awesome. Like, it's like your people that you're around. Charles Woodson was there. Uh,

Mr. Peterman, Mr. Peterman. I talked to him. Oh, you did. Uh,

yeah, it's, I mean, there, there, there's a whole circuit of, uh, the people that like that do these events.

Larry Fitzgerald said we, we, me and Larry had a side bet as well. I did lose to Larry Fitzgerald this time. Uh, I don't know if I talked about the last time, last time he, I won our side bet at Pebble Beach, but Larry pretty easily handled me this time. And I landed with a text of a guy just going from Larry Fitzgerald, just being like, hey, where's the money? And I was like, all right. So, yeah, awesome, awesome time, man.

A really good time. That's great, dude. Yeah. Well, I had a little bit different experience. I played Dungeons & Dragons for the first time. Yeah. All right. At Zaney's.

That's about as opposite of a Pro-Am weekend as you can get. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. I'd never played. I didn't know what I was doing. I still don't know what I'm doing. What was your character? What did they give you?

I was a wizard. That's about right. Yeah. I was a wizard. Then they give you? I was a wizard. That's about right. I was a wizard. Then they give you little characteristics. Yeah. For a wizard, I had very little wisdom. So, you know, I didn't have...

Were you a human? Yeah, I was a human wizard. Okay. Yeah, but I still don't really know what was going on, but... Did you win? I had a fun time. I don't even know who wins. I asked at the end.

I'm like, who wins? And they're like, we all do for playing. So. Yeah. Does he might win in dungeon dragon i would think you have there has to be a winner there's not really i mean he would give you different scenarios and then he being the dungeon master yeah and then he's like you guys succeeded you did it you know what i mean and then we'd have a new scenario you think they don't have like a clear winner just because in life none of them are winning? No. All right. Sorry.

Look, I have nothing against Dungeons & Dragons, but I'm not. The joke. This is a comedy cataclysm. The joke was there. So it's 80s. What am I going to do? I think what you're doing for the live show, typically these Dungeons & Dragons games can go on for hours and hours. Sometimes it's days and days. Yeah.

So this is like a very condensed yes form of it yeah hour and a half for a live show yeah what makes it and i'm not even making a joke here what uh makes it you know like a live show i mean i know you're doing it live but like you wouldn't do like live monopoly i don't know why people enjoy watch it but it's a little bit like price is right people yell stuff out you know i don't know if it was for you but suggestions and stuff like that from the audience it's a lot of the the people in the crowd are passionate about dungeons and dragons they play it a lot so they like the idea of i don't know the same way for you as was for me but i said i've never played before so y'all help me and they're helping me and it's to me it

kind of felt like a just a giant improv game okay where they're like y'all help me and they're helping me and it's to me it kind of felt like a just a giant improv game okay where they're like y'all are in these scenarios you're these characters oh that's fun like go ahead and do it yeah i like so you're kind of just riffing about what's happening and it's what were you what was your character i was a uh half orc warrior i think okay do you do like a voice what i didn't do a voice. I just talked as me. Which is funny. Did you do a voice? Can you do a voice?

I couldn't, but they encouraged us not to. Half orc, half what? I don't know. Half human, maybe. Half orc, half human. Some kind of hybrid. Orion was my name. So that's what I did yeah that's awesome i was nervous yeah i mean i would be too i had no idea what i was doing everybody

is just talking and it's like another language you roll the dice and you don't even know what the dice means i don't know what anything means yeah you know you're supposed to be funny i'm like i don't know what this means did you kill people like what'd you do what'd you do i mean no i mean i don't know i don't i mean i don't even know i remember i made one funny joke he was like well i hope you prayed after yeah we like a kind of out of work wizard i was more like an out-of-work comic your character should have been like a wizard that's like well i haven't done this in a while I was more like an out-of-work comic. They can't. Your character should have been like a wizard that's like, well, I haven't done this in a while.

Like, you know, you're like kind of hung it up. You got a real life now. Yeah. And then they brought you back. Shaking the rust off. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to get your wand tuned up. Yeah, stuff shooting plate.

You're like, well, I didn't mean to. You got a wall on fire. You're like, well, I didn't mean that. I haven't. I'm trying to get back in it. Like the movie Willow, when they find the old witch, and she gets the wand, and she's trying to do things, and she keeps turning the guy into different animals.

You're not familiar with the movie Willow? Yeah, I do remember that. I don't like to watch those kind of movies. Yeah, well, it was in my past. It was in the past. I remember Willow. I remember Willow, but I don't remember the... I remember Willow Smith is what you're talking about.

Yeah. If you're into Dungeons & Dragons, that show is fun. I think you would enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. It's fun. It's different. Yeah.

Were you all doing anything? Nah. I went to Albany, New York to the Funny Bone. I had three great shows. A lot of fun. I hadn't done comedy, full York to the Funny Bone. I had three great shows. A lot of fun. I hadn't done comedy full set in like two months. Yeah. So I got to really like be rusty, dusty out there.

Rusty, dusty. Yeah, it was great. You know, it was a hot show. Hot shows. Very fun. I didn't do anything else. I napped like the whole day. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. And then that felt great. It's the first time you've had an opportunity. Yeah, in like two months. I napped Like the whole day Oh yeah Oh yeah And then that felt great It's the first time You've had an opportunity Yeah in like two months I was out of the house I could just I mean

I just napped the whole day I mean it's the best Yeah That's what a man's supposed to do Yeah It felt good Yeah Let's start with you guys' comments

Kevin Hanson I love how eclectic A group you guys are eclectic eclectic eclectic it's a weird word electric eclectic that's what you say eclectic you say eclectic eclectic yeah i thought that's what i said ec Eclectic e-bike. I love how eclectic. Different kind of bike. Yeah. Eclectic group you guys are and how everyone brings their knowledge or at least confidence in the subject of the Nate Landtable every week. This week's Cars episode was a good one. Dusty pulled so many songs with car references out of who knows where. I'd say he probably could create a great road trip playlist,

but I don't think anyone who listened to the Cars episode say probably could create a great road trip playlist but i don't think anyone who listened to the cars episode should probably get in a car he is driving that's true well i'm a lot better now you know i only like today i only had one incident on the way here so that felt pretty good what was the incident well a guy got in front of me was going all slow and i flashed the lights at him and then i went around him and he tried to speed up and then i still made in front of me was going all slow and i flashed the lights at him and then i went around him and he tried to speed up and then i still made in front of him and then he was yelling from his car i was like dude take it easy in your neighborhood no no no not in your neighborhood right outside on the interstate i was like don't but he got over in front of me on the interstate going slower it's like why are you doing that infuriating yeah so i had to go around him and he's yelling and i'm like just don't do that kind of stuff uh is it because you fly why didn't you

just go around him well he got you know because i got in another lane to try to go around him but he was like going the same speed as those cars so then i had to get over two lanes to go around the guy and i was like come on dude yeah i wasn't even mad he couldn't handle it yeah i was fine how often do you do you think you honk every day? Yeah, every day that I'm in the car. Yeah. Yeah. I'll probably honk twice a year.

I like to, I don't like to go, I like to give him a little toot toot. You know what I mean? Just go, hey, wake up. A little throat clear. Yeah, what's going on out here? Yeah. Yeah, I don't honk much. There was one time you and I were going to a show at the Ryman,

and we were downtown. It was a John Chris show. Do you remember this? Yeah. Do you know what I'm about to say? I think so, yeah. And we were on Church Street trying to turn, and there's a car in front of us that has to turn too,

and all these cars come out of the way. All of a sudden, Dusty just honks the horn like, go, dude. And I'm like, Dusty, there's a bunch of cars coming the other way. And he's like, well, you got to get out there. Yeah. You got to get out there. You do have to get out there. You can't wait for the opening.

Make the opening. Yeah. But I felt so bad for that guy. I wanted to follow him and say, hey, I'm sorry about Dusty. You would like New York. I do. I always like New York because I'm the one that's in the way. I'm like, this feels good.

Yeah. It feels good for other people to be like, move it along. And I'm like, I'm sorry. Because I know how they feel. It feels good. Randy Moore. By far, this episode is the best Dusty episode. The way he said, don't drag gourmet into this had me tearing up laughing.

His input in Wild Stories carried the whole episode. I've never related to something the way I did when he said he loves to sit in a car and smoke a cigarette. That is usually what I'm doing while watching the podcast. Yeah. I love you guys, and the show brings me joy every week. Thank you. When I sold pesticides, I mean, I used to go clock into a store and then just go back out and sit in the car and smoke cigarettes. I mean, it is the best.

Clock into a store? Well, you know, I had a bunch of stores that I went to, right? So I didn't work for the store, but I had to go into the store and physically call in so they know I've checked into that store. Yeah. So then once I'm checked in, then I go sit back out in the car and smoke cigarettes. How long would that tell you?

How long would it take to check in there? Five minutes. And then what do you got to do? Well, I would eventually go back into the store and do my job yeah but i could you know they want you to they wanted you to be at the store a certain amount of time yeah but i could do the job much faster than that yeah so i would just you know i go smoke for a while listen to the radio go back in do the job yeah you know and you got a call from their phone yeah you have to call from the

store's phone people get fired if they get caught if they call from their cell phone yeah because you could be anywhere yeah but you got a call from the store's phone i had a real system worked yeah it's a pretty dicey job when they got a you know most of their employees are like you use their phone yeah yeah like there's no trust right checking in with your parole officer yeah there is no trust that's for sure we're seeing why there is yeah well that's true yeah but it's like yeah i mean i yeah i used to do that all the time in my job i did a great job yeah so i don't feel bad about it but i was like you know i'd go get coffee and sit in the car and smoke and

i mean i felt terrible but it was really a lot of fun yep uh ben bryant i love this episode i am an auto claim adjuster for a large insurance company totaling a car depends entirely on that cost of repairs at versus the value of the car in the state you are in. Most states are around 75% of the value, but a few are at 100%. That is why an older car with minor damage can be a total loss and a newer car with heavier damage is not. That makes sense. All right, Ben. Bring in the heat.

Yeah. Ben Bear Bryant. Ben Bear Bryant. Austin Meeks or Meiks. M-E-i-c-k are meek yeah either way there's not an s at the end there's an s in the thing right below it hello folks that's not my fault right there's a total there's an s in the vicinity should have added a couple extra spaces yeah that's my bad. Hello, folks.

I think I may hold the record for most total vehicles by a non-demolition derby driver. By the time I turned 30, I had totaled 13 vehicles. Wow. I walked away from all of them without a scratch. By the grace of God, I've been clean from addiction for four years. Next month, congrats. All right. And haven't had an accident since. Keep laughs coming.

We love you guys. Well, that's awesome, Austin. That's amazing, too. Yeah. 13 vehicles. I mean, I knew guys like this, but 13 is a lot. 13's a lot. I mean, that's pretty impressive.

13 is usually when you decide, I need to change some stuff. Yeah. I don't know if people, most people would never even own 13 cars. I definitely haven't. You know. What I want to know is, does he have a never even own 13 cars. I definitely have. You know. What I want to know is, does he have a driver's license to this day? Yeah. You know what I mean?

What if Austin's like, he goes, how many cars have you owned? He goes, I've owned 14 cars. 13 when I was, you know, getting after it a little bit. And then 14, yeah, it's the one. And it's probably the one you want to be totaled the most. But you're living life great, so you're not. And what if this is not even where it ends? He says, by the time I turn 30, I'd total 13.

Maybe he's 55. He's in his 70s, yeah. Yeah, but now he's good to go. He's off everything. Hello, folks. I want to tell you about a new sponsor we have called ibotta ibotta gives you cash back on hundreds of grocery items from produce to personal care to pantry goods so you can make sure you're beating inflation no matter what you're purchasing

either link your wealthy account or upload your receipt after you've shopped and get your cash back it's that easy the average ibotta user earns $120 per year. $120! Can you believe that? Eleanor, think about how many toys you could get for $120 just if we switched to Ibotta. Other apps give you points that don't amount to much. With Ibotta, you get real cash back that you can cash out to your your own bank account, PayPal, or gift cards. You can earn cashbacks on hundreds of online brands and retailers too when you start with Abada, including Lowe's, Macy's, Sephora, Best Buy, and more. Right now, Abada is offering our listeners $5 for just for...

I'm a pro golfer. Yeah. Pro golfer. Stand-up comedian and professional golfer. I asked someone, I was like, can I out it like i don't know if i'm like you know because it's like you could almost like i don't think it really matters for obviously our level but like you could be like oh you can't play in a local tournament or member guest tournament because i'm not an amateur and i'm considered a pro yeah what if it really came back to bite you yeah good it could no pros allowed no pros allowed

yeah the places i play that is the rules yeah riverside uh master craftster master craftster i manage a tire shop aaron crushed that answer about tires having air they would also cause a lot of road damage if they were all rubber. They are working on tires called twills. They don't hold air so they don't go flat. Twills. It's a prototype device developed by Michelin

as an alternative to the tire. It kind of looks like a rim too. Maybe you can get some chrome twills. Oh, so it's just like a hard yeah these are interesting i've got some flexibility there you see that tackling a curb yeah i'd like that on a lawnmower yeah yeah i want some twills yeah yeah as the wheel hasn't you know it's been just kind of it's kind of i, I'm sure it's been the, I don't know. The run flat was a big deal.

That was, I remember that when they came with like the run flat tire, I can't get a flat, like it, if you get a flat, it'll work for a hundred more miles or something. It doesn't go immediately flat. Yeah.

You don't know that tire. Does it let you know that it's been, you never heard of a run flat tire? No. It seems like it still wouldn't help you if you like punctured and you had 100 miles, but you didn't know that it happened. Just 100 miles down the road, what do you find out? Yeah. So it has a support ring system that employs a ring of hard rubber or another structure that can support the vehicle's weight in an air loss condition.

Interesting. Never heard of this. I could have used these. Tweels. Well, they're supposed to kind of get you. So if you get one, you're like, it can get you. I can get to the tire. Out of the situation.

Yeah, yeah, totally. Grant Morgan. The way you know someone's speed before radar would be to time how long it takes someone to travel between two points. It's a simple formula to figure their speed. This technique is still used in some areas where they have airplanes monitoring speed. If you're driving on a highway and notice an X painted on the shoulder of the road, that is what they are using as a reference point. Oh, wow.

All right, Grant. So they're being like, you got there from there to there in 30 seconds, and it should take you 45 seconds. Sure. Yeah. So somebody's just sitting there with an old- We mentioned that. Old-timey pocket watch. Yes.

That must have been what it is. So if you see, I guess, a helicopter just sitting over the road, and there's an X sign right there. Oh, yeah. I would slow it down. Yeah. For sure. Because if that's how they're doing it.

I mean, if they're airplanes, how could you monitor the speed with an airplane? You'd see flying. You know, you'd be like, you were moving. You're like, you know what I mean? Like, he's like,

well, you crossed the X, you got it too quick. I go, well, did you, what angle were you at? Right. Yeah. Because from my angle, it seemed like you were going very slow

yeah yeah sometimes airplanes look slow yeah they're going 500 miles an hour they're cruising and then so yeah i don't know how you do that but yeah i would say just a helicopter if you just hear it's almost like if you're going that slow from my perspective then maybe it just seems like i'm going fast you got like a whole like you know like a superhero movie where they have a real fast character everybody seems like they're going real slow how do they give you the ticket from an airplane they drop they land right in the interstate on the side of the interstate yeah yeah communicate with somebody on the ground and then they they go this guy's speeding that seems like a lot of work for a ticket.

It's a lot of work. I figured they'd just mail it to you. They gotta get your license. Maybe. Maybe just airdrop it. Like to your phone. Yeah.

That's part of the thing. They probably start doing that. Got your maps on and all of a sudden you got airdropped at a ticket. Did you see the guy that got arrested

and kicked off? He airdropped a bomb threat to everybody on the plane. Just as like a joke. Thinking nobody will know will know who this they immediately knew who it was they walked up very normal looking dude just sitting there he's like oh yeah it was me hanging with the prison it's like you can't do that yeah oh yeah i love the joke though it's too bad for him though you ever get airdropped a weird thing in a public place? I have. Not really, but I've pulled up airdrop and could see other people and go, I want to send them. Yeah.

I've. I don't know. What do you do? You have it open to public? You have it set to where they don't need to be in your contacts. Yeah. You can receive from everybody and you can send to everybody. Why do you do that?

Just for this reason. Sometimes you want somebody to airdrop something to you that you don't want their phone number right or them to have yes like send me that picture not text it yeah airdrop it yeah yeah but i mean why are you leaving it open to no context just for this situation like you're just see what's going on you know yeah i want to be in the mix someone on the plane send you uh i just don't know who's afraid of that like i saw a video the other day where a guy goes into like some business to rob the business and he's like all right everybody hands up hands up and like

everybody it's just like a bunch of older women and they're all just sitting around looking at the dude i saw that yeah the dude ends up he, hands up. And nobody responds to him at all. He just leaves. He just gets so defeated. He's like, all right, I guess I'm gone. Yeah. Is it like security footage? Yeah.

Wow. They just kind of get up and walk out. Are you seeing it? I see it, too. Yeah, it's so funny. Yeah. Yeah. Eric Phillips. Horses have different gates that correspond to different speeds a walk is about four miles per hour trot eight miles per hour and canters and

gallops even faster these gates are easily identical so a speed limit of 8 miles per hour was, what? These gates, am I not saying something right? You just bulldozed through that word, man. Indefinable. These gates are easily identifiable, so a speed limit of 8 miles per hour is effectively a ban on anything other than a walk or trot. Well, just word it like that. Identifiable? Identifiable. Identifiable. limit of eight miles per hour is effectively a ban on anything other than a walker truck well just word it like that identifiable identifiable identifiable you did say it like you say element op in the alphabet yeah like this would go real fast maybe nobody would hear me yeah that's what you do sometimes yeah you just plow through it get through i do that sometimes a name

if you're like i kind of think this guy's name's this oh yeah and then you're like you know i'm talking about darryl and you start you kind of if it's like you think it's darryl but you just kind of go like you just and then you just and they're like yeah and you're like he's you know and they have to be like his name's frank you know it's just i mean you got to be confident enough that you're like i know it's yeah i'm in the general sound of it yeah yeah yeah like if it's like aaron you go you're like, I know it's, I'm in the direction. I know the general sound of it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like, if it's like air and you go, I don't remember if it's air and I know it's like, you know, you're like, air.

You're like, he goes, look at over there. And you just kind of blow through it. And then they're like, ah. And you're like, yeah. All right. Well, that's how. Walk about four miles on a trot. That makes sense.

Yeah. It does make sense. Why not just say you're not allowed to gallop? And you're not allowed to canter. Why do we got to put a number to it? I would teach your horse to, when you canter, to make it look like a trot. Yeah. That's what you do.

They're like. I mean, a gallop.op yeah like if a dude's like like really on a horse like then you're like all right dude well this guy's too much but you know a walk four miles per hour that's is that not fast for a horse no i wouldn't think so that's that's like a human it's about twice as fast as a human yeah i'm saying that a human walks two miles an hour 2.5 miles an hour oh i thought about 15 minute mile yeah i thought a human walked about four miles an hour so this is how much you stopped and look at the birds uh was that directed at me i don't even know no no no it's just a funny thing

josh cantrell the reason cars have the capability to drive faster than legal speed is so you aren't maxing out the engine at for example 70 miles an hour it would be like yelling all the time just to be heard. You destroy your throat in the same way you destroy your engine, pushing it to the limit. Well, that's the best example I've ever heard. That's the best example. That's a great analogy.

Wow. Way to go, Josh. That's good. You should be, I don't know what you do for a living, but you should be in education. I do remember, like, my mom had a car that 85 was as fast as it would go back in the day. And, like, we got it up got it up to almost 85 one time, and it seemed like we were hauling.

But cars now, I've accidentally done 90 several times. This weekend, I just looked down, and I was going over 100. I was like, whoa. You were watching West Wing? Yeah. I'm watching Friday Night Lights. Had a lead foot you know was it the the traffic going that way no it was like it was a late night drive it was like 2 a.m yeah not a lot of cars on the road i was flying yeah deer no no no yeah

no deer you can get going people go fast now yeah I thought about that on the way here. It's like everybody drives really fast. Oh, yeah. And you can just be in a situation. I guess maybe it's because of ways, like, because they have the cop stuff and everybody's, you know. And so, but I mean, man, you'll just be going and you're, I've said, I don't know if I talked about it. I thought about it with, like, saying, because Laura, we'll be driving, Laura's like, you're going 85 miles an hour, and you're like, you don't even know what's going on around me.

Did I talk about this? Last week. Last week, yeah. So it's like that, and I thought of that. But everybody does go fast. You will be caught up in a group of cars, and they're going 90, and it's like 11 a.m. on a Tuesday. Right.

And you're like, what are we doing? You could argue if I were to go the speed limit, it's actually dangerous to be going that much slower than the cars around me. I got to get way over. I got to keep up with the pace of traffic. Yeah. So I got to speed. And everybody speeds.

I'm always prepared to make that argument. I never get the chance. But I think cars just go faster and you don't feel it like an old car you went 85 miles an hour it was like yeah you were like you were you're you're going and now i mean you know yeah now i can do 100 in a toyota corolla no big deal and and have no idea that you want 100 yeah yeah yeah i got some fat Facts here I didn't get to throw out last week So I'm gonna try to slip them in Okay A guy in Switzerland

Was going 180 miles per hour His ticket was over a million dollars Wow Because in Switzerland They figure out Your ticket fine By your income And the speed you were going

Oh And he was really rich It's a percentage of your income Mm-hmm Oh jeez So if you're poor you're not going to be charged yeah so if you have basically no income speed all you want it's gonna be 15 cents yeah but even 15 cents so if you had nothing it's still like oh a million dollars seems like a lot yeah that's his extreme for a speeding

or a speeding ticket i mean he's going 180 miles per hour that's pretty reckless uh-huh yeah yeah yeah i guess it's like they could go you go to jail or you pay a million dollars yeah i mean how rich was he that that was just i just always want to know where's the million dollars going that's all i wanted like yeah it always want to know where's the million dollars going. That's all I wanted. Yeah. It's like you're going to take a million dollars from this guy. What are you doing with it? Right. Is it going to something?

Schools. Is it? Yeah. Is that it? Yeah, I'm going to try to slip some more in here. Okay. Okay. Paul Collier

I own a Turo car in Hawaii and someone thought it would be a good idea to use our car to rob a bank unfortunately for him to check the car out he sent us a photo of his face with his driver's license and address it made the police officer's job

very easy wow that's good to know. Feels like Hawaii wouldn't really be the place to rob a bank either. I'm sure the island's big, but you are on an island. How much money can they have out there? You're right.

You're kind of stuck there. Yeah. Where do you go? Nowhere to go. It's so far away. Really, what amount of money could they, you know? You're already in Hawaii. I think a lot of robberies, like you want to go, what, how much, what are we trying to get? What was best case scenario?

Does that come to, like, I would hope if you're going to be a bank robber, you would have the conversation of what's the, what's our best we can do? If something's like $800, you're like like is it worth going to prison for 800 800 cash yeah in marked bills yeah you know yeah and you we have no idea like are they marked are they is that thing gonna blow up you've seen enough movies that you're like i don't know what's you know my buddy from high school was a bank teller he told me he got robbed. He said most of the bank robberies now are just people write down on a piece of paper, give me all the money. Their policy is they just give it to them. He's like, we never have astronomical amounts of cash in the bank. Give them like 10 grand and then they leave.

They're on 15 security cameras and their car's in the parking lot with their license plate and they get caught. Yeah. They have a mask. My mom worked at a bank. They got robbed too. And that was a long time ago. But they walk in with a ski mask on. I don't know about this guy.

That's why. You spot him right away. This guy. I told you. This has a bit of a character would be you bring that guy in he's next to you but that guy doesn't rob the bank and you have another guy robbing and everybody's like dude i thought it was going to be you with the ski mask and you go i'm just a guy that looks ski mask yeah i don't think that's the term because I'm against COVID it just shows he thinks he can only get COVID

well that was what was funny about banks my bank will say you're not allowed to wear hats or sunglasses into the bank but then they would say mask required I just think that was really funny yeah the mask was I would imagine a fun time if you're a criminal if you're a bank robber but criminals in general criminals in general just was

a was a decent time yeah and now masker you know it's kind of normal to wear a mask if someone did wear a mask you wouldn't like think why are you wearing a mask so it's just a might depending on where we are yeah but i i, but I'm saying overall, if so, if you have a place of business and someone walks in with a mask on your program to not be like, that's true. What's up with like,

it's like, yeah, some people are wearing a mask. Yeah. And so a mask would be, I'm saying if you're a criminal, it was a probably a pretty good time. You don't get COVID and you're just raw, it was probably a pretty good time. You don't get COVID, and you're just rotting, and you're rich.

It's a win-win, really. You tell me the downside. Yeah. Will Horn. Hello, votes. That's not my joke. I win my, huh? That's that joke I told last week.

Yeah, what was it? About Hitler would have the people say hello folks oh yeah all right uh uh i when my is the eye i think that eye is uh it got dropped in there when mom will say it i when my father-in-law was a teenager he drove a car with a broken cigarette lighter he finally had it fixed but never bothered to tell my future mother-in-law she decided to play a prank by pretending to activate the lighter and jam it into his sister's thigh what i'm zoned out of this uh needless to say chaos ensued when the piping hot cigarette lighter seared a circular Wow.

I bet the sister-in-law was not playing games after that. That's got to hurt. Did you ever have buddies in high school that would get branded? No. I mean, I know of that, but no. I didn't. Were you ever in a situation where you would get branded? No.

Okay. What was the situation? The same situation you would get a tattoo, you know? Yeah, just for fun. It's like an attorney thing or something, right? Yeah. I'll tell you about that. Q-Dogs.

The Q-Dogs, right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My buddy got a, in Alabama, actually, he was a Tennessee fan, and he got a T branded on his arm when he was a sophomore in high school with a coat hanger. Yeah. And it did not look like a T.

You had to tell people it was a T. Is it still there? I'm sure it is. Yeah. Yeah, it was raised. Yeah, man. If you're, look, I think I remember someone doing that too. Like they did a branding thing, and it's, if you're young, uh, they did, uh, a branding thing.

And it's, if you're young and you're in high school and you're in school, I promise whatever you think is awesome will never be awesome in your life. But I understand the moment and enjoy the moment of going, I can't believe her and let the other person get the branding. Sure. But you should just go, I will never be happy I have this branding. Yeah, let them call you a bunch of names, and then 10, 15 years later, give them a call.

Just go, how's the brand? Yeah, how's that arm? Not even 10 or 15 years later. Maybe a week later. Yeah. You go, how's the branding how's the infection how's exactly once it heals and you're like i guess i just have this not even the like but you don't even have to go like how's the infection or anything that's you could just go a week later

and go so how's it going dude has your life really picked up since that branding situation now i know there's fraternities that do branding so i'm not it's not that situation like those guys that's like i've tattooed they have a reason they're doing this so but if it's just uh this was very off the books for i think it's isn't it like like shack has a brand or like i think a lot of black fraternities from pew dogs or something yeah so like that reason is one thing but i think in our circles we're just people being stupid and going, do you want to get branded with a T? Like they just think it's fun. And it's not a cool design.

It's not a, you know, something that's like, it's literally just you're, it's idiots together. Yeah. Don't burn yourself in general. But it's, you know, in the moment, you could be, you're feeling it, everybody's being cool. It's a camaraderie, yeah. But, I mean, all this stuff, you will just be like, why would I, I'm not going to want that. No. You will have a life that's longer than that moment.

I mean, there's tattoos I wanted to get that I'm so happy I never got them. I don't even tell people what they were. The ideas are so bad, I don't even want to tell people what they were, and I wanted to get it tattooed on my body. You know what I mean? Wear on your body. Just, you know, just wherever. The neck?

No, I never thought about the neck. I always liked the idea of stomach tattoos. Oh, jeez. I could see you having, just wherever. The neck? No, I never thought about the neck. I always liked the idea of stomach tattoos. Oh, jeez. Yeah. I could see you having a stomach tattoo. Yeah. I mean, who knows? Who knows?

I could see that. Yeah. You have a good, you have like a good body for a stomach tattoo. Yeah, I got a, yeah, I'm a stomach tattoo guy. Like, it's like kind of like, you know, it's a little, it could be out a little bit now, but it all just still works. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You got like a all just still works. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got like a good redneck body. Yeah. I mean, I got a build for it. You got a Myrtle Beach body. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A good Myrtle Beach.

Like you have a tattoo on his stomach. You're like, no one's really. Everybody almost expects you to have it. You're born with a koozie. Yeah. Yeah. So it would have been cool for me at the time. I mean, it would have paid off at the time.

It might still have been cool. Yeah. With time i mean it would have paid off at the time it might still have been cool yeah with your look and everything and beliefs now i think i think you could have done it but only the stomach it's never too late dusty well you're a little older now so it's and you have kids and stuff but i feel like you don't want to be older with a fresh tattoo you want to be older with a faded tattoo yeah faded i to be older with a faded tattoo. Faded tattoo. I remember my grandpa's military tattoo on his arm. It looked rough by the end, dude. It was just.

Yeah, but like that kind of stuff I get. That's sort of cool because of the story of it. Was he a Marine? He was at Air Force. Less cool. I don't know about Air Force, but. Never mind. What was the tattoo of his desk?

I appreciate the Air Force I might have been in the military I remember they all had like It's called Chair Force That is the joke Everybody makes fun of the Air Force Katie Visaggio. Visaggio. Visaggio.

Visaggio. My brother had a Pontiac that would randomly honk its own horn. We drove it to college from Michigan to Minnesota with a horn that would just blast without notice or the ability to stop it. Driving down the highway for 14 hours. Wow. That's fun. That's my kind of car. That's very funny.

You just get in the fast lane. Get out of here. Get out of the way. The whole time, you're like, you're driving by people going like... They can't even understand. I think Little Miss Sunshine happened in that movie. Anybody see that? No, I've never seen it.

I saw it, but I don't remember. Yeah, I don't see it. Yeah, that old van that just honked on its own. Oh, okay. And speaking of horns, horns honk in F or F sharp, whatever that is. It's a note. Well, I know it's a note, but I don't really know what that means. I thought that was a prompt for an ad read.

I was getting ready. Well, I say, listen, you know, rising prices are stressing me out. I mean, aren't they stressing everybody out? If you're looking for ways to cut costs, I recommend Rocket Money. You could be wasting money and not even realizing it. I talk about it all the time.

I sign up for stuff and I forget. And then, you know, you're not combing through your credit card statement every month. Rocket Money will do that for you. It's a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. They also help you manage your finances in one place and automatically categorize your expenses. So you can track your budget in real time and get alerted if anything looks off

if there's an unusually large transaction made you'll get an alert you know they keep an eye on it for you over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to 720 dollars a year stop i guess accident yeah and then you yeah yeah cavalier z24 i do remember that car i used to have a joke about it you did about that oh i think i was your joke yeah it was that one i told every other year it wasn't it was an even year yeah um i had a joke about how back when i was 18 i was i thought i was such a man i had a good job serious girlfriend driving a brand new 1990 Z

Cavalier Z24 whatever now I'm 36 looking for work looking for a girl and driving a 1990 you know that was

that was my original joke then I turned 37 and I was like the joke didn't work anymore because I was doubling it you know what I mean yeah

so I think I started this joke by saying I'm 18 times 2 now or something I don't know something like i had a lot of math really cornered yourself then i turned 37 and that joke didn't work anymore and then i turned 38 and i started telling it again i was like when i was 19 and i did that every other so you can tell it now right 52 i'm 51 51 i would say it's coming up yeah back in the rotation a good joke in the 80s it's still relevant now yeah uh good lesson for young comics don't corner yourself uh with math and yeah i had a lot of math jokes a lot of stuff yeah you need a lot of stuff to work out

i would make the audience do a lot of math I was going to say the crowd's got a pen and paper out trying to carry the one that's what I remember Z24 that's why I remember the cars because you saying the Cavalier Z24 my sister did have that car that was why I drove my senior prom so you didn't have the car

you never owned it in 1990 no it was my sister's I think we had a green cavalier and it was not a cool car okay well we're learning a lot here but i don't know if it was a z24 or not i don't oh oh okay i'm seeing aaron has it pulled up here yeah okay that white one there that is not that's what it looked like uh not that one the one of that one this one yeah more like that one oh man the worst one oh see that was that's a little better, though, I think. Mine was a four-door, real boxy.

I didn't own it. It was just kind of in the family. Well, wheels were not a big thing back then, right? Like, I don't remember people talking about that. What do you mean? I think you get the- Like having cool tires or cool rims. You could get the bullet hole rims and then the whitewash.

But that came a little later. Like, I think i remember i mean maybe it's just also the circles i was in no one had a cool rim yeah you know what i do remember like when uh the high school whitewashed tires or something and it was like some of the kids in high school they like they they had money and so they would get like a brand new car. And I think they would talk about rims

or their sound system or something. Sound system was a big thing. That was real big. People would buy though. You would buy cars in Wills and Dills magazine. Do you remember that?

Yeah, I do. Y'all don't? No. Oh, yeah. I would get at Wills and Dills and you would look at it. It's like Craigslist, except it was a little magazine you look through. I feel like that.

What was the- Auto Trader. Oh, Wills. Yeah, I remember magazines like that. Yeah, Wills and Dills. It was a great magazine. It was fun. If someone was in the car, they would look at it.

You remember Auto Trader, though. They had those magazines, too. Yeah, but Wills and Deals was the one that I remember the most. Before we talk this, I was going to say, Justin Smith, if you listen to this, he has a show at Zany's tomorrow night. This comes out Wednesday, right? Thursday? Mm-hmm.

Nashville, Zany's, 7 p.m. Also, our buddy Dustin Nickerson is there on the Friday and Saturday early shows. So if you're in Nashville, great comics, all friends. Dustin, we've shown he hasn't been on the podcast yet, but he comes on the road with me a lot. But for Justin Smith's show show i'm gonna i'm also gonna go on that show i'm not gonna like put it on social media or anything uh just kind of letting you guys know uh julian mccullough who also opens on the road with us he's gonna pop down and justin's gonna let us pop on and uh do a set so uh yeah the show's at seven uh thursday

i'm gonna work on i gotta get i'm going to Australia, so I need to, you know, I haven't really got up and I need to. Work on the accent. Yeah, need to work on the accent, need to work on just kind of get back in the rhythm of saying some jokes because I've been off for probably two weeks or feels like forever. And so, yeah, so this, yeah, this Thursday, July 20th, Nashville Zanies. If you're here, I will be down there.

Justice Smith, it's his show. And then, yeah, and then go to Dustin Nickerson's show. Guess who else is on Dustin Nickerson's show? Who's on Dustin's? You? Two fourths of the Nate Lamp, me and Brian. Oh, big time. Hot weekend.

It's a hot show. On Thursday through Saturday time. Hot weekend. It's a hot show. Thursday through Saturday at Zany's, that's a hot weekend. Yeah, you can knock everybody out. Yeah. You can knock everybody out. Except Dusty, but yeah. Yeah. Dusty's on the Will Burkett show there.

Burkhart? Burkhart? Yeah. Where are you at? You're doing something. Yeah, I'll be off in Orlando, Florida at the Orlando Improv. Oh, yeah. Okay.

I might do Zany's Comedy All-Stars if they'll let me on it. That'd be fun. I tried. Okay. Lucy said, check back another time. Okay. No, we're trying to make it. It's trying to be a good show.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. This week. Talking about appliances. All right. All right. We bring the heat. yeah alright this week talking about appliances alright we bring the heat a lot of

a lot of podcast fans yelled hey bear a lot of hey bears oh really hello folks at the golf tournament yeah like a lot

that's great you know you never look these podcasts like we love doing this podcast and it's but in your head you just think you're like is this going to anybody? Totally.

The crew checks out their sleep. They left. They hit record and then they. Go to the car and smoke a cigarette. Yeah. They run errands. Yeah. A guy at the airport in Albany bought me a little bear that says I live in New York.

And he said, hey bear. Oh, that's nice. He's a listener, bought me a little bear that says I live in New York. And he said, Hey bear. Oh, that's nice. And I bought me a little bear. Yeah. My daughter. So it's, yeah.

When y'all come up and say stuff, uh, it's always very, very much appreciative. And, uh, it, and it means a lot like to,

and like this weekend was like a lot of people like saying, you know, I love the podcast. Hey bear, all that kind of stuff. And that it's cool. Uh, yeah,

I get a lot of hay bears at my shows. Yeah. It's awesome. We had some people from Newfoundland came to see me in Albany. Oh, that's great. Yeah. And this is why,

this is why they're here. Cause we're talking about appliances. Yes. Yeah. This is the stuff they come for. This is what other podcasts are afraid to talk about. I think it's political, you know,

it gets appliances can be a dicey subject what got what what appliance do you think has the longest lifespan uh name brand or actual like no just the actual appliance clients i'm gonna go i'm gonna go if anybody thought he was saying thinking name but i mean out of all theretag there's I mean I just said I mean there's so many people listening to this podcast and I would think you were the only one

it could be that thought May like there Maytag were you gonna say Maytag no I don't know I would say Maytag

you know like LG or you know something like that I like a good LG appliance same song I would say toaster a toaster feels fragile to me or something like that. I like a good LG appliance.

I would say toaster. A toaster feels fragile to me. I was kind of thinking a toaster too. Here's my microwave. Well, let's ask this though. Is it of all time or things they're creating today? I think today. I think today. What are you talking about well things

we're talking about cotton gins yeah i mean we're talking about look we got a first time listener here dusty pretty basic stuff we talk about no one's getting in the weeds of this uh i kind of in my head i was thinking toaster just because that's all i can think of is toaster but i've never heard of a of a microwave on the fritz i've never heard of a toaster going you know but i think you lose you lose a toaster you misplace it like you well that but now you're getting it we're not talking you're not we're not talking about like you move and you don't you lost the toaster you buy a house and you get microwaves usually in a house. That's what I'm saying. One's just left over.

I know, microwaves, there's a lot more to it. A toaster, there's not much to it. Yeah, you're proving my point. I think it's a microwave. All right, what is it? Dishwasher. Really? That can't be true.

I don't believe you. I don't believe you. I feel like dishwashers are what get replaced the most. No, the average woman lives to be 80. I'd like to apologize to absolutely no one. No, it's the gas range. Oh, a stove. Yeah, we call it a stove.

Gas range. 15 years. That seems short to me yeah i think so 15 is pretty good dryers and refrigerators 13 this says uh microwave think about dryers and refrigerators this is microwave nine years my mom's had hers for 30 plus yeah puts duct tape on to keep the radiation and not not a lot of, microwaves haven't changed much since then. No. Where's toaster coming in? This was major appliances.

Toaster wasn't even on the list. It's not even a major. It's a minor appliance. Did you throw major in there when you asked the question? No, but he assumed, you know, you wouldn't give any dumb answer. I guess we are in the weeds, isn't it? I mean, he didn't even think of a refrigerator. First appliance I think of.

I thought of toaster. Yeah, me too. But I feel like a fridge is always on the, like, fridges break down. He didn't even think of refrigerators were appliances, did you? I would. I just don't think I thought of it. But it's closer to furniture. An old refrigerator, I think, you've won those old white ones that got the two things.

I think those things can run for 75 years. But the new ones are going to break. They break a lot because, again, it's too many parts. With Wi-Fi and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff going on. Well, that's what I meant by all time, right? Like now everything breaks down, I feel like. But my dad's had his refrigerator my whole life, I think.

Yeah, because there's not so much in there that it's going to work. What was I just – I was about to say something uh what are you talking about toaster appliances i don't know why refrigerators need wi-fi they're like it can identify what's in the fridge and you can just make a list order them from the fridge door i don't know but you don't think that's going to be that's pretty awesome if you're like some of them now you're like we need milk and you just press we need milk tomorrow and you go oh we got a little milk left you press it and your milk gets delivered your house tomorrow pretty amazing i mean i do but how hard are our lives that we're like i can't you're right they're not

your life no one's lives are as hard but they're busy and they're like, whatever it is. And you're, so you look at like just the time of going, all right, uh, it's just going to become that. I mean, I'd imagine, do you like, do you think like in our time, uh, which I know we talk about like, you're going to get to where like, there's just no shops or stores or there's no, like your, your food is you're ordering your food i mean maybe they have like gas stations for like you know quick like i bet they have unmanned gas stations with the necessities for like if you're like oh we don't have milk for tonight or like a little sandwich you're a little something and it'll be like an unmanned kind

of thing that you can go grab. Uh, but I mean, what do you have gas? Yeah. What's the point of a grocery? It's like all good. I just thought about this week. Is it all going to be factories? So it's just going to be a factory.

That's just like doing it and just sends it out and then goes with a drone directly to your doorstep. I mean, yeah, maybe a drone, but it's, uh, yeah,

it's going to be Nashville has its own factory and just all the food comes for that. I mean, you know, it's not ideal that. Sounds gross. I agree. But right. If they let you. They're going to do it. I've had, I've started thinking a lot about microwaves too, a lot.

Oh yeah. You are just like, this can't be good. I know. What do you mean? It's. I love that you're coming into it. My, it's's it's heating up this food like i'll just sit there a your head is you're staring into it the glass like still

when you go to the dentist to get your teeth x-rayed they stand behind multiple walls and i don't think it's this i don't maybe it's not the same I don't, maybe it's not the same thing, but you, my head is looking in the glass of something that is heating something from stone cold to within 40 seconds, 40 seconds. I can't touch it. It's that hot. And it's, it's not, there's no like warmup.

There's no like a stove or an oven is you got to preheat an oven and eventually it gets to 400 degrees. A microwave is like less than a second. I will appear at 500, whatever degree you want it to be. I don't know why I've just thought of it recently. Yeah. And it's just like, man, that's, that's crazy. It's sketchy. Yeah.

That we just have. And look, I know it's the convenience of i use a microwave i'm not saying i don't but i just you know you start thinking of all this you know they say stuff about like having your phone in your pocket and like all this kind of stuff you're just like yeah dude you got a lot of stuff around you that's just like what what has happened microwave is insane it is insane that's insane yeah it's great it's amazing that you open the door immediately and that nothing happens you know what i mean yeah i'm not saying i think it's bad i'm just saying it's amazing that you like i would i think if they had microwaves and they still were like you you had a room built for the microwave and you shut the door and you left like that would make sense to me yeah i put a hard-boiled egg in a microwave years ago and it exploded the egg it just it just i was

watching the egg heat up and then it just exploded all over the place just it didn't like blow up and like crack up i mean it exploded all over the place it gets, it didn't like blow up and like crack up. I mean, it exploded all over the place. It gets very hot. Like what is that? Very quick. Yeah. Yeah. I think it would do that if you heated it up any other way too.

Yeah. Yeah. But it just, but you want, I think stuff needs to take time and microwaves don't take time, which is the point of everything else is like an oven. You're like, all right. Yeah. I let it sit there for 30 minutes and now it's 400 degrees. And you're like,

okay, I can wrap my head around that. A microwave is, it's, you can microwave something for 10 seconds and it can get hot. Yeah. 10 seconds. Yeah.

It's pretty awesome. Yeah, yeah, no, I get it. I get, I get why you love it. And it's,

it, but it just, I'm just saying, you don't about like you don't i just lately i started going huh i put it i put a chick-fil-a bag in the microwave when are you gonna say that no but you'll have a billion stories about stuff you've put in the market are you gonna yeah i mean did you a hold on did you think he was about to tell his Chick-fil-A? You go, oh, sorry, Brian. Were you about to do your Chick-fil-A bag in a microwave story? Well, the way I said, I put a Chick-fil-A bag. He goes, oh. Yeah, like it was like, all right, well, everybody calm down.

One by one, tell your Chick-fil-A bag microwave story. Dusty, we're going to you first. Now, you're talking about that bag that's like 50% tinfoil. Yeah, it's got like aluminum foil inside. I had no idea that was in there. And I just put it in the bag, and it caught on fire. Yeah, yeah. It just caught on fire.

I've had that happen. Because I'll have to ask Laura. I should just say it in my joke. I have a microwave joke about not knowing how to use a microwave. And I used to have it in there. I'm like, does this have metal in it? Like, so if I can microwave, because I didn't know because I would microwave. I microwaved a plate once that had some kind of metal thing around it and it caught on fire.

And so I don't know. I'm like, what has, I don't even, you know, you start thinking, I don't even know if I know what metal is. Yeah. And then. Why make a plate that can't be microwaved? It's rare that they do these days, I feel like. That's crazy. Oh, yeah.

Or like a cup that can't go in a dishwasher. It's like, what are we doing here? I agree with that. I'll get off my soapbox. I'm sorry. Yeah. I can see why it's, yeah, it does feel dangerous or looks dangerous. But I mean, microwaves have been pretty regular now for 50 years.

And we're as healthy as ever. But I mean, are microwaves killing people? No, I mean, yeah. Who knows what's going on. I mean, now it's all blended together. So it's a mishmash. Yeah, there's a lot going on. There's a lot going on.

Now, one thing that, you know, to say it's safe fda says it's safe all right all right that should suffice you should have led with that for the record nate said let's don't talk about anything controversial and you threw out appliances 10 seconds in we're like I think it's killing us. I just think I think about that more now. But look, if the FDA said it, obviously these are, you know, that's their job. If you superheat your water in a microwave, they've been known to explode. Like, even after you take it out.

And it'll just burn you. Superheat in what? what like if you put a cup of water in the microwave and like really got it hot wow and then take it out sometimes it just explodes wow microwave your cup of water for like 10 minutes or something yeah like 10 minutes later like boiling like boiling hot yeah okay why would you do that well i don't know why you would but just be careful generally speaking after you take it out you know you think it's probably gonna be safe but you know when you want to when you want a warm glass of water just don't you told you did the fda say that yeah that's the fda said that well uh you know the

trick has ever heard the trick that if you're heating up pizza or something, you put a cup of water in the microwave with it? You just heat it up. Get it crispy. It's normal. I don't think he gets it crispy. Oh, yeah. It doesn't. I don't think it does.

It's not as soggy. What do you think? This is like not based on anything? I think it's not based on anything. I think it's based on someone saying that on the internet, and I think no one does it. Oh, I read it all the time. You put a cup of water. When I'm heating up stuff, yeah, you put a cup of water on the outside, not on the plate that spins, but put it in there.

So you bought a microwave that has extra room. Where does this cup fit? I mean, I don't know. Do you move the couch out of the microwave and then set your... Do you have a cylindrical microwave microwave or is it a rectangular prison? What do you mean? A circle? Do I have a circle microwave?

You open up the microwave. The interior is a rectangle, right? A perfect square. And there's a plate that's circular. So there's going to be a little room in the corners. What's your cup? How big is your cup? I got a little shot glass. Yeah, I'm not putting a ste room in the corners. Not for, how big, what's your cup? How big is your cup? A little shot glass.

Yeah, I'm not putting a stein in there. What are you putting, a shot glass? No, maybe a little juice glass or something like that. You can fit a juice glass in your microwave. Dude, that's crazy. You can't. There's no way you're going to fit a juice glass. I'm thinking maybe like a little plastic cup.

Like a cup. Like a red solo cup? Maybe about that size. Maybe a little plastic cup like a cup you know like a like a red solo cup maybe about that size maybe a little smaller than that you put it i don't even you're out of your mind i think i don't think you gotta make a video and send this to us yeah i it would be you would have to have it leaning on the circular thing that spins no i mean look at this you can't you just pop it i mean it you know you don't got room like that in a Unless you bought a smaller circular thing. You can't just pop it. I mean, you know. You don't got room like that in a microwave? That's a big microwave.

I mean, you're buying. I mean, look, maybe you got a real deal. Smaller plate, maybe. I buy a regular microwave, and you bought one. Maybe it's just a little saucer in there. Yeah, that you got. What? Just a little saucer. Maybe that that you got what just a little saucer maybe that's why you got a small plate like i thought maybe you could share it yeah i think my plate

might be a little smaller than that yeah it would sit on the plate but i mean you're i mean you act like you got you could decorate the inside of your microwave with like put furniture in there and i don't i think the the circle goes because if you get off the circle if that gets off a little bit it's just oh yeah it's a mess it wobbles chaos

wobbles a lot of stuff doesn't go right why would you not just put the cup on the plate I guess you could I think maybe I have but maybe you don't do it I guess if you have the room

he has why would you not you know right that's true use the room that's true multiple plates what do you

most is it because your meals are mostly bigger than the plate in the microwave? They bleed over the plate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. Yeah. Hey, I need a little more room. What do you got? What do you microwave there, buddy?

All right. There was a Reddit thread where a woman, I assume it's a woman, would microwave her water and water her plants with it. And she, one with just normal tap water, one with microwave water. The microwave one started dying in the tap. I've read that before too. Now, Snopes says it's fake. It's not real, but. Why would even this even be a conversation?

I think, I mean, I think it was an experiment. I don't know why anyone would have done it first. Yeah. But I think it was an experiment and the microwave was killing any nutrition that the water had. Oh, so that's what it's saying. So the plants were getting nothing. Mm-hmm. Yeah, she was trying to prove a point, right?

Yeah. I mean, I can see Dusty doing that. Oh, well, she's trying to prove, yeah. But I mean, oh, by saying like, this is how bad microwaves are. Yeah, look at what the water microwave does. It sounds like just the difference between tap water and distilled water. If you're heating up

to a point where you pasteurize it, essentially, then yeah, it's going to be different. It's going to be a different type of water. But there's nutrients in water. I don't think there's a microwave. The fluoride and stuff like that from tap water? Yeah.

You need some of that well if you heat it up you boil all that out of it yeah you know so it's nothing to do with the microwave yeah i got a thing with i can't i can't take away microwaves no no i gotta think about for the rest of this rich uh that with this uh he is it's med, it's Med Water. It's a water company. It's a water thing. They filter water, but they can filter it so much that it's like it could almost kill you. It's like too clean.

You need some stuff in water. There's like minerals and there's like there is stuff that you need in water. You can filter out too much stuff. Mineral salt in the water. Yeah, the Dasani. mineral salt in the water yeah yeah the dasani well you know that we've talked about this i think but learning this about salt has changed my mind on dasani a little bit not entirely because i don't think they're putting mineral salt in there but it's probably ocean water a little ocean water yeah they fill it all up and then they just do one dip in the ocean. Yeah. Yeah. And then Sonny bottles it up and sends it on its way.

Yeah, exactly. They do. Yeah, they do. Just a little shake. Just a little shake. Put it in a 24-pack. A little kelp in there. Yeah.

Did you ever hear you could charge your phone in a microwave? No. Is that possible? No. That sounds like a practical joke. No, it was a thing thing it was going on the internet that it would work you could charge your phone they said apple didn't want you to know about it because they want you to buy their batteries but hmm even apple would just start making microwaves

if that were the case it didn't work it got a lot of people to ruin their i mean a lot of people says it's true i'm not gonna try and see but i got an old phone maybe i'll give it a try sure you're gonna light your house on again snopes says it's not true okay'm not going to try and see, but. I got an old phone. Maybe I'll give it a try. Yeah. You're going to light your house on fire. Again, Snopes says it's not true. Okay. Snopes is.

Well, they're the best. Well, Snopes, I mean, there's someone there and that's what they do. They tell the truth. Just a guy in his house. Yeah.

With all the answers. This woman's my spirit animal. American tourist new zealand uh called the hotel saying that she couldn't get her pizza out of the microwave oven they went up there to see what's going on and she'd put it in the safe and lock the safe what wow i think i'm yeah hold on i might need a red back and And you also said spiritual animal. I didn't understand that. Spirit animal?

Yeah. You said this lady is your spirit animal? What does that mean? Somebody I relate to. Okay. Yeah. All right. She put her pizza in a hotel safe and locked it.

Thinking it was a microwave. Oh. That's funny. Yeah. Now that makes either way call the front desk i do want the pizza yeah either way help and she locked it and she couldn't get it unlocked yeah she was pushing buttons trying to get it to go and then she didn't know what the she thought was one of those old timey microwaves where you twist it yeah that's funny

that all makes sense now your refrigerators there's three types basically okay the freezer at the top within the fridge side by side and then freezer at the bottom yeah what you got side by side doors freezer at the bottom three three different doors very fancy actually oh wow hold on hold on no sorry four doors sorry one door at the top that's the fridge and then i have two freezer at the bottom two fridges there are the fridges with the double doors on the top and yeah yeah i don't have one of those you have two fridges yeah whereas when we moved into our house there was already a fridge downstairs so we were like oh we're gonna leave it that way yeah we're gonna to leave it there. Yeah. We're going to use it.

Yeah. And that one's just freezer on top, fridge on the bottom. What do you keep in that one? That's just drinks and stuff down there. And overflow. You know what I mean? How much do you go down there and get stuff out? Oh, the TV's down there.

There's a watch TV down there, and there's a fridge right by the couch, which is pretty nice. Yeah. And where do you keep your Lazy Susan? I got three Lazy Susans on the upstairs fridge. That's a watch TV down there and there's a fridge right by the couch, which is pretty nice. Where do you keep your Lazy Susans? I got three Lazy Susans on the upstairs fridge. That's the real fridge. It's the way I think. Well, you have a Lazy Susan on the fridge? In the fridge. So that's a thing that

spins around and you have that in the fridge. Oh, yeah. He based his whole life around microwaves. And refrigerators. I never thought about that in the refrigerator, but I like that. Oh, yeah, it's nice. Because stuff gets lost back in the back. I'll find things, and

I'll go, oh, I forgot about these. Imagine if you could just... I forgot about this watermelon, and now it's all moldy, and it's been dripping down the back for a while. It's tough to lose a watermelon in a fridge. How big is your fridge? It's a bad example. Yeah. It's tough to lose a watermelon in a fridge. How big is your fridge? It's a bad example. It's like you lose pickles.

Yeah, it's a bad example. How about this water? It's a full watermelon in here. I did lose a watermelon in a car one time. I bought it roadside, put it in the trunk, forgot all about it. It was in there for weeks. It got busted open. My car smells so bad.

And I open it up, there's a rotted watermelon all over the trunk. There's a bunch of flies in there? I don't think so. And I've gotten to it. He just pulled over and saw a watermelon stand. He's like, I'll take a watermelon. Yeah, I've done that many times. You like watermelon.

I do love watermelon. Yeah. You eat it every week? In the summertime, yeah. Yeah, I get take watermelon. Yeah, I've done that many times. You like watermelon. I do love watermelon. Yeah. Yeah. You eat it every week? In the summertime. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I get into it. You know what I'll stop to eat?

Peaches. Oh, I love a peach. You know, roadside peach. Yeah. It's tough to find a good peach. It is. It is. Watermelon, you got to work for it.

You got to load the thing up, take it home, get a Ginzu knife to cut it up. It's heavy. Yep. It is heavy But once you get in there Takes up your whole refrigerator You got seeds You gotta work through

There's a lot going on I eat the seeds Brian's gotta call Buddy over Help him move it in Well Ruth Yeah Yeah Ruth gets one side

Brian gets the other side I call Buddy over To watch the baby While Ruth helps me Move the watermelon Yeah Watermelon's delicious A good seeded watermelon I'm not a buddy over to watch the baby while Ruth helps me move the watermelon. Watermelon's delicious.

A good seeded watermelon. I'm not a big watermelon fan. Are you not? No. I love it. Put salt on it. Don't you do that? That's good. I would do that.

I'm not a big watermelon fan. I love it. You ever do a watermelon eating contest? No, I mean, I'm not a fan you've done one have you done one i think i did one you don't know if you're right when i was a kid when we played baseball they did like just a fun thing after practice one day where they gave you just a bunch of uh they are pre-cut into like the uh slices that you could just get into. Like a typewriter. Yeah, exactly.

Kind of an offensive line kind of competition. Yeah, actually. How hot is your urine? Yeah, exactly. That kind of thing. Did you win? No, I think it was just about the- Bonding experience? Yeah.

It's like a Dungeons and Dragons sort of thing. You all win for participating. I did a Chick-fil-A chicken biscuit eating competition in high school. Did not do well. Just in front of the school? It was a fun... Just Aaron.

That was his talent. It was just me. Every morning. Lower the drape. Trying to beat your record from yesterday go go go you did one as a fundraiser he slowly went from walking inside to now just going through the drive-thru because you've done this every day for four years it's like what's hard for him to get inside but back in the days freshman, he's a freshman year, he came inside. So y'all did it.

It was a fundraiser in front of the whole school where each class had somebody to represent them. And I think I was a freshman at the time, and I was the guy representing the freshman. This goes along with the brand getting branded. Something that probably you look back on, you're like, probably not the best idea to go up there and do that. But that didn't scar me for life. Yeah. You know, I don't still. Think about it. I think about it.

Yeah. But I'm not living with. Well, who did you compete against? I mean, we did do a Krispy Kreme challenge. If there was someone representing you from your class. Yeah, your first thing in this podcast was to go, I want to see who can eat the most. Well, you know how it is in a new environment.

You got to show up. You got to throw down a little bit. You got to establish yourself. That's how branding happens. Yeah. I remember who won. It was the sophomore class president, Roscoe Anderson. Wow.

Sounds like a good guy. Yeah, thin guy, athlete, but thin. And he was the thinnest guy in the competition, and he won. And just like in these real eating competitions, it was the Joey Chestnut looking guy. Yeah. That took the win. I think about him all the time. How many did he eat?

A lot. I think we did like 10 minutes, and he ate over 10. Oh, a competition 10 minutes long. A full size or a mini one? The full size Chick-fil-a chicken biscuits yeah that is i mean he it's an impressive number that he yeah yeah i think i only i only got through four or five yeah and what's he doing now uh i think he's a teacher oh pretty fancy school for y'all to be able to afford all that chick-fil-a you you know. It was a fundraiser.

I mean, I don't think we could afford a fundraiser. We just stayed poor. Yeah, we couldn't afford the trip across town to get Chick-fil-A. We didn't have a Chick-fil-A right there in town. Not at the time. Papa's school in the 80s, I mean, they weren't. We did cakewalks. Chick-fil-A, I don't think was invented, was it? I mean, it probably was. I don't think was invented was it no I mean it probably was

I didn't know of it I had one Chick-fil-A at the mall back then growing up oh yeah yeah that was the 90s

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah not yeah I mean not when you were

growing up I'm not trying to I'm not trying to make that joke but yeah yeah yeah

thanks to our friends at Helix Sleep for sponsoring this episode as we've always said everybody slept on the Helix mattress everybody loves it

we love it it's the best we've had all sizes on it it's the you know giant fan Helix is killing it Helix Sleep is a premium mattress brand that

provides tailored mattresses based on your unique sleep preference. Take the Helix Sleep quiz and you find your perfect mattress in under two minutes. Helix mattresses are shipped straight to your door, free of charge with easy, no contact delivery. that's becoming the very popular thing it makes it great they offer a 100 night uh trial to try it out and they offer a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model uh unlike a lot of companies helix owns its own manufacturing facility i love that they're all made in the u.s it's great By a team of skilled manufacturers that ship directly from their facility. Hotel fridge and it's turned to like max and all my fruits and veggies freeze up and all my lettuce is all hard. Yeah.

I don't expect the hotels you're at, they're expecting a lot of people to bring lettuce. I get a lot of looks. Yeah. When I come in with all my groceries. It's the first vegetable in a hotel room. You think when you check in a lot of hotels, they go, you going to be here for a while? You got a look of just like.

There's some questions. Yeah. Like there's a lot of like, you got a check-in date, but they don't expect to hear a check-out date. Yeah. They call the mission and say, who's paying for this over there? Yeah. They want a card.

They always want a card. Yeah. We need some collateral buddy yeah they go imagine your checkout is just you're gonna see how things are going they go is it under your name yeah is it are you what what church did this yeah are you a storm chaser yeah i was like hey i don't know how long I'll be here. Yeah. Till the tornado passes. Yeah. Well, mid-30s is the recommended. Okay.

It's got to be above freezing, but by the time it gets to 40, some contamination can start happening. Now, freezer, theoretically, you could go, you could keep going all the way. You could. Go down to absolute zero. Well, they recommend just zero. Zero. Yeah. And then they say mid-30s for the way. You could. They recommend. Go down to absolute zero. Well, they recommend just zero. Zero. Yeah.

And then they say mid-30s. That's what they say. 33 to 37 is anywhere in there. So they don't say mid. They give those. 33 to 37. Yeah, I guess I threw it in the mid-30s. Okay.

I was trying to concise it because I got so much information. Well, yeah. Hot off the presses. Don't want to give people the, just fill it out somewhere got so much information hot off the presses. Don't want to give people the, just fill it out somewhere in the mid-30s. Yeah. I don't know if you're going to think 33 is a mid-30. It seems low 30 to me.

That seems low 30s. I hope someone's listening for their refrigerator temperature advice. That's what I hope. I think they are. I think a lot of people are going to go check. I think there's a lot of young people that, you know, you're going to get a refrigerator soon. You're going to be going to college. You're going to, you know, they're not going to know what to do.

Yeah. Check those hotel refrigerators. Yeah. Don't ruin your veggies. In fact, they say don't put hot food in your refrigerator because it could warm up the inside and cause some contamination. Whoa. Wow. That's good to know. What do you got to do? Wait till it cools down to room temp and then put it in the fridge? What, I got to be in the kitchen all day?

Here's what I'll tell you. Just put it in and don't even worry about it. Because there's never going to be a situation where you have something so hot that you then go immediately put it in the refrigerator. Ruins all the food in the fridge. It's just. Yeah, that's hot. That's a hot dish.

Yeah, I can tell you from full just life experience that you're just not going to run into that situation. It's not going to be a problem. Maybe if someone's a big chef or there's something, there could be. But if you're a normal person, I don't think it's going to be a problem. Maybe don't put the hot

pot next to your eggs or something. You know what I mean? Don't put them, don't butt them up. The hot pot? You know, if you put a hot pot, you know, if you cook. That's hot. That's hot. Yeah. Yeah.

Hot pot did sound like it was, you meant like a crock pot. Yeah. Like it's a specific thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like a hot dish. A warm pot. Yeah.

But a hot is. Would you cook something that you would have it be hot and then you want it to cool off and you put it in the refrigerator? Maybe your plans change and you go, I can't eat this right away. Yeah. Yeah. The hottest. Would you cook something that you would have it be hot and then you want it to cool off and you put it in the refrigerator? Maybe your plans change and you go, I can't eat this right away. Yeah. Yeah, but your life doesn't work like that. So it's just, you got to really think. If your plans change to where you go, I had this big dinner, but I'll just put it in. It's piping hot.

It's an emergency. It must be. So you're not going to, then you're not really worried about your meatloaf. For sure. And being at the, you know. For sure. Otherwise, I think it's either emergency that your meatloaf is, you just come home and it's still sitting out. The dog probably ate it.

Yeah. But it was an emergency. Or if it's like right outside the emergency, it's like maybe it's not like immediate family. But it's like, you know, we need to go to the hospital. We got to be there in a couple hours. Your body needs a jump or something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

You're going to eat some meatloaf. Then you're just going to have a couple bites of meatloaf probably and just go like, I'll be there. I'll get there when I get there. I'll get there when I get there. Or let the meatloaf just cool down on the stove. Yeah. We do. Laura says a lot. Just put the light on in the oven and you put a lot of stuff in there that

light in there is enough to keep pizza like just now is it true that the tray i saw this the tray at the bottom of the oven that's not for storage even though everyone uses that for storage that's where everybody puts their lids and things like that that's actually meant to uh put something down there to just keep it warm it's a little like uh just a little compartment i saw that on tiktok have you seen that have you tried it i haven't tried it i got too much stuff i've never i got i'm storing so much down there yeah what you got down there well i just got you know pots and pans and whatnot. Nothing sketchy. Books. Yeah. But is it like a little, it's a thin door, right?

It's not too thin. I mean, it's thick enough to where you can take a tray out and place it down there and let it cool for. I just think, I don't know if I believe, like it's wood around it. You know what? Wood falls in your food. Where do you? Yeah.

I'm talking about this door that pulls out right there. Oh, I didn't know what wood falls in your food and where do you yeah i'm talking about yeah this door that pulls out right there oh i didn't know what you're talking about yeah i don't have wood in mine i'm talking about yeah see here here's here's somebody my oven is yeah yeah using it for that reason they got some corn on the cob yeah just put it down there. You got to keep that corn cobs warm. Yeah. And like most people don't do it. That's all life is now, isn't it? Yeah. A video every day of going, you're not doing this right.

Well, we don't know the purpose of anything. And why are they not telling us these things? Yeah. I mean, I look at them too. And you're like, I didn't know that. And everybody's like, I never heard of that. I didn't know that. I never heard of that. I didn't know you had a ketchup packet like that. Did you know a ketchup packet is a bottle of water? That's what I think of video.

I was today's years old when I found this out. I was today's years old when you unfold. You tell me every now and then one of those doesn't blow your mind. No, they do. I'm just saying, but it's just i'm annoyed knowing i i don't want to know everything i think you're just like all right you know but it's like every yeah it's uh it it is like you just go through social media and you're just like what am i doing dude like and i look i have a problem what on earth is everybody talking about nothing absolutely well everybody's got to make a video they're like i gotta do content yeah gotta keep it going and the little things go i never knew that and it does i i tie my shoe i'm not saying i'm better than it i do it i tie my shoes away

because i saw a way to tie your shoes. It goes, it ties them straight instead of like crooked. Oh, okay. And so it's like, and it saw it on a video. And it's, yeah, yeah. And then, but it, you know, it's like that kind of stuff. You're like, I don't know what to do. Ruth was, I hope I can explain this correctly. She was putting some type of, I don't know, ointment on our baby.

It was a new tube with the seal still on it. She took the top off. The little thing at the top. The little piece of tinfoil thing at the top? But the cap itself has a little thing. A little thing to puncture it. Puncture it. I didn't know that's what that was for.

Yeah, yeah. I did. I knew that. That one I figured out on my own. A lot of toothpaste. First time I bought a tube. Like a mini toothpaste has it. Yeah, they have that.

I was today years old. Yeah. I like it. I'll try it. Ruth was like, geez, you didn't know that? Yeah. You were born pre-tube. Yeah.

You know, the stuff was a little more laid out. Still want one, but in jars. Yeah. Toothpaste in a jar. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's what he did. They made it themselves.

Do you ever think about why it's called a refrigerator, but then when you shorten it, it's fridge with a D? I didn't know a refrigerator didn't have a D in it. Yeah. I might have too. I don't know if I really.

Is there a reason why that happened? They don't know for sure They think it just rhymes With words like bridge I was thinking it was Because it's like cold Like fridge Fridge

Like frigid Yeah Yeah Frigid Yeah Interesting I never thought that Yeah

Alright Alright Gooder makes $25 active sunglasses Interesting. I never thought that. Yeah. All right. All right. Gooder makes $25 active sunglasses that do not slip, do not bounce, and are 100% polarized. This is a brand I really like, and I think y'all might enjoy them as much as I do. My wife has some. She loves them. She wears them everywhere. Feels good.

They're not that expensive, so if you lose them, not that big of a deal. You can just get another pair. Gooder sunglasses are lightweight and comfortable. 100% polarized, stylish with a lot of colors. If you are active, they do not slip and easy to clean. They start at only $25 a pair and come with a one-year warranty and a 30-day free return. That equals 100% satisfaction guarantee. I have a few pairs that I rotate through, and they're affordable enough that I can keep an extra set in my car. They're lightweight, and I love how comfortable they are to wear all day,

and they are 100% polarized. If you want to support the show and pick up a pair, Goodr is giving Nate Land listeners free shipping on your first order. There's a link in the note i'll get in there and i'll go what's going on in here and then i gotta organize it and i straighten it all up and i i'm sure she appreciates that yeah she i don't feel like she has a real technique with it i mean she's like i'm doing it so don't complain about it and i don't but if i'm messing around with it i'm like i gotta get some organization yeah i don't know if they still make them this way but my dishwasher growing up at the family house i remember if you put plastic on the bottom it was not good right and either my dad or my brother did that by mistake and we had to evacuate the house for a while because there's some real toxic fumes going on wow did you ever have a house that didn't have a dishwasher?

No. Like you would never remember that. I remember not having a dishwasher. We didn't have a dryer growing up. I remember that. I remember when we got a dryer, that was a big deal. But we always had a dishwasher. We never had one.

Really? Never did. Yeah. It's like wood bowls. We had real bowls, but yeah, we always hand wash until. But do you, let me ask you this. Do you have a lot of great family memories doing the dishes together? Not really.

A lot of good conversations happen over the sink. Hey, ma. Get in there. You were in there alone, dude. Yeah. No, she was. Oh, okay. Okay.

I don't, I mean, like, I think when we moved to Chicago, I want to say we might've even had an apartment that didn't have a dishwasher. I mean, dishwashers weren't, it was like kind of advertised, like, this place has a dishwasher. We did not have a dishwasher growing up. It was a big deal, I think, when we got our dishwasher. I forget when we got it, but it was like, it was a really big deal to get a dishwasher. Like, it was crazy. It's like borderline deal breaker for me now.

Well, now I don't know if they... Most houses, they're going to just come in houses. But you could buy separate ones. You'd have to plug off on the side or something. But I mean, yeah, I remember. When we bought our house, the dishwasher was broke. And we were like, it's just the two of us. We're fine.

We don't need a dishwasher. And we hand washed for a year. Wow. And we were like ah it's just the two of us we're fine we don't need a dishwasher and we like hand washed for like a year wow and we were like into it we didn't even really worry about it and then we decided to get a dishwasher and we was like what have we been doing oh yeah it's so great why have we been doing this to ourselves we acted like we were all high and mighty like oh everybody uses a dishwasher yeah like everybody's lazy and we're like oh this is the dumbest thing we ever did was wash dishes for a year yeah hand washing yeah we would we would i would have to uh god i think we had a we had a dishwasher in the apartment we moved into

new york when it was broke for i mean the whole. And then finally, it's like they went and came and fixed it. But we didn't have dishwasher in New York for a lot of the years. When I'm single, I was using a cup and a bowl. I mean, that's all. And I would just rinse it out, dry it off every time. I just had my little cup and my little bowl and my little plate. It was no problem. Paper bowls, you used paper bowls. I never really did that. never really did that i do i would i use it at home still i do too

that'd be the problem with uh yeah we're not the most environmental like you're just trying you're just trying to solve the problem of going like i'll just do all paper and plastic and then you i mean we don't do that but if i go get something alone and Laura's not in charge, I will use a paper plate. Oh, and it's great. Like if she's out of town, I'm going to use stuff that I'm just throwing away. Well, what's worse for the environment, the single plate you're using or all the water that it would take to wash it? Probably this, the plate I'd imagine.

I mean, I don't even understand how it affects the environment. I don't even know any of this stuff. Yeah. But, I mean, I just can't imagine the water you're using to clean it. It's a lot of water. It is a lot of water. I think water's unlimited, though. Yeah, there's ocean water.

Tell that to people that don't have it. You can filter it, though. The average- Well, maybe it's kept from them, probably. Control. The average dishwasher Well, maybe it's kept from them, probably. Control. The average dishwasher uses 10 gallons. The average hand washing session uses about 20 gallons.

Yeah. Oh, so you save a lot of water using the dishwasher. According to this. Interesting, according to that. But if you let it get full, if you just. Yeah, you got to let it fill up. That's why I would just use a little cup, just rinse it out, put it back. I mean.

Yeah. When I was single. The best way is just to be single, don't have a family and any purpose. That's how you save the environment. Live for yourself and nobody else. This says leave the door of the dishwasher open when you're not using it

to air it out. I think Laura does that and I always shut it. Washing machine too, you should do that. You can leave it. I think Laura does that and I always shut it. Washing machine, too. You should do that. You can leave it. I've never done that. Or maybe Laura does that. Leave that door open.

Yeah, that door is open a lot. I don't know why. That's usually the top, right? Yeah. Mine opens on the side. All right. I'm into that. Just crack it a little bit.

Don't leave the dishwasher all the way down where you can trip over. Why not? No. No. You just crack it. Yeah. Okay. I never thought of that.

I like this. I was today years old when I learned that. Today's the year. Let it breathe. Yeah. You ever heard the term nuke in the fridge?

Yeah. No. You know what that means? Nuke in the fridge? Yeah. Nuke in the fridge or nuking the fridge? Nuking.

N-U-K-I-N-G. Is that when you put baking powder baking soda in there no i thought it was like just heating like you're heating something up that's like nuke in a dish i'm gonna nuke it maybe the microwave this is uh it's it's the movie version of jumping the shark nuke in the fridge yeah i'm thinking microwave. So I was thinking microwave the whole time. Yeah. In the Indiana Jones movie about the crystal skull, he survives a nuclear blast by climbing the refrigerator. Do you remember this?

No. A lot of criticism for that scene. And it was so dumb that a term came up, nuking the fridge, that it's kind of like jumping the shark. It's ridiculous. You're out of ideas. And that just means a movie's out of ideas. I didn't know what jumping the shark was. But saying like if you got in a fridge, you could survive a nuclear blast.

Yeah, and I read that George Lucas doubled down on it and said, no, no, no. He tried to post proof that you have a 50-50 chance of surviving a nuclear blast from climbing a refrigerator because the lead levels or something. It's tough to prove that. But scientists said,

no, you die instantly. And in the movie, Indiana Jones just doesn't survive. He flies through the air like really, really far. Inside the fridge. And lands in the desert

and just gets out and dusts himself off. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. Yeah. That's worse than jumping a shark. I think I was fun with off. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. Yeah. That's worse than jumping a shark. I think I was fun with it. Yeah, it's a movie.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Did you say you never heard of Jumping the Shark? I don't, I never knew what it meant. I'd heard that term.

I mean, isn't he, they just made another one and he's 80 years, isn't he 80? I heard it even got worse criticism. I thought it was a huge bomb. Yeah, but I mean,

that's like, but it's like when they do that stuff when was this one how old was he then probably 65 yeah this was yes yeah so like i mean it's just if you go like close to 70 yeah yeah yeah so if it's like well i don't know if the fridge is going to do you go hey i don't know if a 70 year old man can do any of this like he can't survive uh uh fall in his bathtub in his bathtub like yeah so you're like the fridge thing you're like man all right i'm i believe that if i'm believing this 70 already crazy yeah you might as well i'm believing a 70 year old let's go he's gonna grind it out

let's nuke the fridge in the hot deserts of whatever to look for something, then I would think a fridge would stop a nuclear thing too. All right. Is that it? That's that. It seemed like a good place to stop.

Was there a lot of appliance? Was there a lot more appliance? We made it through my kitchen. All right, well, go ahead. We got an appliance part multi-part multi-part honestly yeah let's save the rest of

them i mean i'll talk for 30 minutes about a magic bullet but we don't have time to get into it right now i do like a blender conversation oh yeah yeah but

air i mean you start on air fryers well we'll save that for another time okay uh yeah this is a lot of stuff a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff. We only basically talked about microwaves and fridges today.

Okay. I like it. All right. Yeah. You want to say where you're going to be? This weekend I'll be at Zany's Comedy Club with Dustin Nickerson and I forget who else. Oh, Aaron. Yeah.

That's cool, Aaron. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to have fun introing me to the stage. That was bringing the heat here. A little baseball. Inside.

Inside baseball talk. Yes. Inside. I'm just kidding, dude. I'm looking forward to working with you. I got a tour. I guess a tour coming up.

I got a bunch of dates. You can come to Denver Or Louisville Or Cleveland Or Boston Or Pittsburgh Or Des Moines I'm all over

So come Come hang out I'm gonna be at the Orlando Improv In Orlando, Florida I've not been there In a long time So it's gonna be

Very exciting Oh yeah Yeah That's good It's gonna be hot Alright Yeah Again I'll be going.

I'm going to go down to Justin Smith's show this weekend or Thursday at Zany's in Nashville. If you're, you know. And then Australia. Wow. Australia. Be at all these places. I had it earlier. be it all these places 2930 Sydney at Inmore Theatre

August 1st and 2nd Melbourne Victoria at Anthonyum Theatre they use like our American language. August 4th, Perth, Western Australia, Astor Theater.

August 6th, Brisbane, Brisbane. Brisbane. Brisbane. Queensland at the Fortitude Music Hall. And August 9th, Auckland, New Zealand at Bruce Mason Theater. And then the middle of August, I'll be at Alaska State Fair. So I'm pumped about that. So, yeah, let's go check everybody out.

Hope everybody has a wonderful week, rest of the week. And, yeah, we love you. Talk to you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.