The Nateland Podcast - 175: #175 Bathrooms

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

This week, Dusty gives an update on his leaf collection, Brian shares stories of awkward celebrity interactions, and Aaron tells the guys about a man who fell in love with an octopus. Then, the guys get into the holiday season by talking about bathrooms. They learn about the history of the toilet, discuss the proper way to hang toilet paper, and debate whether it's rude to take your phone to the bathroom. 

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I was going to say it. Give him a second, Brian. Let him ease in. Why did you think I wasn't going to say it? Yeah, because you always start with that. Oh, I was going to do it after. I would have done it. Hello, folks, and hey, Bear. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. Yeah, I was going to say it after the Aurora, And then, but I was going to say it after. All right. So I would have got it in there.

I apologize. Off to the races. Really jumped the gun. Hey, man, everybody's getting involved. Well, I figure everybody else was saying a thing. I might as well jump in here too. Well, we're here, everybody. You know who's here.

Bates. All right. Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay. All right. People don't like me doing that. Do they not? No. They're real mad about it, huh?

Trying to steal Dusty's essence. Stolen Valor. By doing that. Stolen Valor. Yeah, you got to get your own time. Yeah. Yeah. We're having a good time.

Well, the two of you have de facto copyrighted so many things on stage that I, there's, I, there's so few things I can do now. Yeah. I can't put my hand behind my back. Everybody thinks I'm ripping off Nate. No, you haven't copyrighted anything, but I thought you were talking about them too.

No, no, no. Thank you so much. I get told every day you're ripping off Brian Bates on stage. I invent, everybody knows I invented waving and saying we're having a good time. And we're having a good time is a more common phrase than people realize.

Sometimes you want to say that. I know. And they think I'm ripping you off. It is fun that people think I invented saying that. And they think Nate invented putting his hand behind his back. I did invent it. Yeah. Feels good.

That was the first to ever do it. Yeah. Shane puts his hand behind his back too. Shane Gillis. I haven't noticed that. Yeah. He will too. I think he said it.

He told me. I think it's because I did it. But you just end up seeing something that you just do. I don't think it matters. If you have your hand behind your back, it's like whatever. That's why I do this. Completely the opposite. Yeah.

He puts it low behind his back. I'm up high in the front. Yeah. Completely the opposite. What does that low behind his back. I'm up high in the front. Yeah. Completely out. What does that leave me to do? You got to come in the middle. You got to do something about right here. You got to do this.

Yeah, just leave the hand right there. That's one way to do it. Well, yeah, I think I did it to keep my hands out of my pocket or out of my front park. And that's what it started from. And then why do you not want it in the pockets? You just didn't like the look of that. It'll be in the pockets.

Like if I have a hoodie on stage, I can put it in the pocket. Yeah. I don't know. I've been thinking a little bit more about how you stand on stage recently. Like just, you know, I have it.

I, you know, I want, I tend to want to put my, this hand in my pocket. I want to put this hand somewhere. So then that I just went behind my back and, you know, have it, you know, I want, I tend to want to put my, this hand in my pocket. I want to put this hand somewhere. So then that I just went behind my back and, you know, and even that last special, it's like the, the jeans I had, the pockets were sold, sewed shut.

Really? They're fake pockets? Yeah. And I didn't realize, yeah. Cause I didn't realize that they did that. And then like, I mean, in, in the special, just go, and I hit my hand on it and I go, she sewed those pockets up. I was told that Jeff Allen once sewed shut his pockets on his coat jacket because he didn't want to put his hands in there. So he sewed it shut.

Yeah. I like to just move my hands all around in a real distracting manner that's what it depends on how you're yeah it depends on like what you know where you what's going on where you're standing like you know when i was in the round on the last one it's like i'm moving a lot more so it just feels you know it feels better i like to do everything that they tell you not to do as a comedian. Yeah. Like Ralphie May would say, don't wear a hat, don't have glasses, don't have a beard.

Or long hair. Yeah. That's what he said? I think so. I didn't hear it. People tell me he said it. Don't have a hat, don't wear glasses, don't have a beard. Yeah.

Or long hair. Everybody has a beard now. Yeah. Well, he said there's all kinds of studies that show that your trustworthiness increases the less distractions there are in your face. That's why politicians typically don't have beards is that you tend to trust somebody more who just has a clear face. I can see that.

I don't want them to trust me. Yeah. I think it's your, well, you're selling, yeah, you're selling something different. Yeah. Yeah. Untrustworthiness. Yeah. You don't know how this show's going something different. Yeah. Yeah. Untrustworthiness. Yeah. You don't know how this show's going to go.

Yeah. Buy a ticket. Hopefully it goes well. Yeah. They don't know if you take all that off when you get home. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'd like to do.

One day when I do shave and cut my hair, I'd like to do a show and then just kind of take it off mid-stage. Mid-show. Just go, you know what? I'm tired of wearing this. That'd be hilarious. Pull it off. Yeah. Pull off ashow. Just go, you know what? I'm tired of wearing this. That'd be hilarious. Pull it off. Pull off a whole mask and I'd be Brian Bates. That's what we should do.

Yeah. And then you go, oh, that's why he's doing it. Yeah. He's getting jealous of his own creation. Yeah. I mean, the very first comment on here is basically kind of what we're talking about yeah but yeah uh well glad everybody's here i went to the national comedy center in jamestown new york this weekend uh because we were in cleveland erie pennsylvania wonderful times there

uh and this national this this uh center is awesome, center is awesome. It's awesome. It's, uh, it's really, you know, you can do a lot of stuff and they just have so much stuff like interactive there that you can go do and learn about comedy and learn about, you know, TV shows. And they have, um, they have TV shows, they have um they have tv shows they have movies you can you can do who's on first you i was able to film a video i think i might have had it i don't maybe i could show but it's like i just stand i sit there and with you know they take your picture and then you it's like ai like you just it looks like you're standing with Abbott and Costello. Which one's Abbott?

The big guys. I don't remember which one's which. The tall one's Abbott. Okay, Costello. So you're Costello. And then you just read the lines. It looks like you're just faces. That's fun.

And so it was, uh, yeah, it was, it was just really cool, cool experience. Do they have a hall of fame? Is it like a,

you can get inducted into this? No, this, that thing was the best too. The, you, you can get on stage. I have,

we have some video of all this, but you can get on stage. And like, I did a Seinfeld joke. And so they, I did the Halloween, his Halloween joke, you know,

about trick or treating, you know, kids, you first time you hear about it, you know, it's like, what, who's giving you brain candy?

Who's giving money? Everyone's giving candy. So then you go on stage with a microphone that's works. And then they, it's like karaoke, but stand up. So then it's works. And then they, it's like karaoke, but stand up. So then it's going like, all right,

here's it lights and shows you when to say it and stuff. And you, and then, so people can go in there and just try to be like, try to tell one of the jokes. And it was, I mean, it was super cool.

Uh, that, that was very cool. And then they have, they have Caroline's on Broadway in New York. They have the backdrop of Caroline's. Oh, yeah. And the wall. So Caroline's like, did y'all, you did Caroline's.

I did. Did you ever go in there or anything? It's an iconic backdrop, though. Yes. I mean, I can see it. Yeah, yeah. And it's the, see. I can see it. Yeah, yeah. And it's the... See if you can pull it up.

I saw a photo of all you guys with it behind you. And I thought, how did y'all... I didn't realize that's where that was. Where was the photo? Michael Clay posted it. Oh, yeah. I don't know if they're going to have it. You can just do the Carolines.

Oh, yeah. Just to see what it looks like. Well, that's the logo right there. Yeah, because they would have just have you just do the Carolines. Oh yeah. Just to see what it looks like. Well, that's the logo right there. Yeah. Cause they would have just got it. Cause the Carolines, Carolines shut down and, um,

that club just, it was, it was, yeah, that back. I mean, it's crazy, man.

It's really, really crazy when you see it. And like, I was, I didn't know they had that. And so it's me, Vecchione, Lachlan Patterson was with us. Who's, uh, uh, very, very funny.

Great, great, great dude. Great comedian. And, uh, Lach, but Lachlan, he's didn't care lines, but he was in LA. So, but me, Julian McCullough, Mike Vecchione, Gary Veeder. And so we all turned the corner. We all were started there. So none of us know that this is in there. Yeah.

And I don't, they, I don't think, you know, it's not like they knew that, but they didn't, no one really thought of it. And we just turned a corner and it's like, the four of us are like, oh my gosh. Like we stood against that wall for years years when i was standing in line and we spent the night for last comic standing once stayed out all night spent the night go down there get told no leave i mean just the the contest the like the they had the march madness contest julian won the first one the first year i won

the second year uh i think hosted it one year i hosted it one year veder won it i think one year mike vecchione came in second place we brought that up quite a bit yeah in the jerry seinfeld comedian it's it's yeah i would have liked to have done that oh yeah i never even went it's well you can go stand there and like because you you would if you lean against the wall you could put your hand like guys would grab we'd always like grab the kind of back the wall there's like a place where there's a hole because the wall's white i mean i was really like that they had that they had bar stools in there from there they had like it's just so it's the real background they They didn't just create it.

No, no, they gave it to them. Oh, that's awesome. Because Caroline's closed, which was just heartbreaking. Why did they close? I don't know. I mean, it's just, you know, New York and I think it's just, it's in Times Square. It's the craziest spot for a club to be in.

Yeah. And then New York's just become so, Times Square specifically probably is insane to try. It's a ping pong place now. So they do ping... You can play ping pong down there. That's fun. And then just get my whole upbringing.

You just walk down there and they're like, what's up? Ping pong. Yeah, it's sad. I saw you open for Bruce Bruce there. Yeah. You say Bruce Bruce? Did I emphasize the wrong Bruce? Bruce there. Yeah. You say Bruce Bruce? Did I emphasize the wrong Bruce? Bruce Bruce. Yeah, that's the first Bruce.

Bruce Bruce. There you go. Bruce Bruce? Yeah. That told a story, right? They called his name. I was in the green room, and I was hosting. Sold out.

And I met him briefly. Very nice. And then, you know, I was a new comic, so I was just staying out of the way. And so then I briefly very nice and then you know i was a new comic so i was just staying out of the way and so then i do it and then they go uh i may have features so then mark theobald might have hosted and then mark you know he goes give it up for bruce bruce and i've never seen this he doesn't like i'm standing against the back wall he's not coming out of the green room. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm like, I don't know if he knows.

And I almost, and thankfully I did not, but I almost was about to be a joke. As you know, they called your name, name. I wish you would've done it. But I thought like,

I thought maybe he didn't hear it. And then it's like, no, there's music playing. He's letting the music get to a point yeah then he walks out it's a whole

and you're like okay I believe he had a guy in front of him and behind him yeah security that he was bigger than

yeah I opened for Dominique one time and she would do that I would announce her name and my wife said that she saw Dominique like Dominique

like was in the back of the room like poured something in her drink mixed it up took her to i had no idea i'm like dominique and then i'm just standing there i'm like what's going on here and then she eventually makes her way to the stage yeah she's very funny too bruce bruce was one of my favorites so he's very funny yeah very funny i mean would destroy well yeah that's when i mean i would learn a lot during that stuff is because you learn that it's a show and that's what it is like it's the that little extra build up that little extra everything is part of the whole experience yeah and so you're just you know and then seeing him walk out to

music and then he sings the last song, the crowd sings the song. And you're like, yeah, dude, it's a pretty special thing. Like, you know, and you're like, and then when you see it, you're back there like, oh, that was awesome. Like, okay. I used to watch him on Comic View all the time. And then when he came to Zany's, when I first moved here, I went and saw him at Zany's. And it was like, man, he just murders. He kills so hard.

Yeah, it is why i hosted for him i could feel the i could feel the room vibrating on my feet from the green room yeah he was killing that hard i remember the feature his feature uh i brought her on stage and then she walks out there she goes uh-uh she goes uh-uh i came all the way from cleveland that's how you're gonna bring me out what we're're going to do is a redo. Aaron, get back out here. So I come back out to reintroduce her and the crowd's like going nuts. So I like give her a super over the top intro and then she comes back out.

And I was just started. So I was like, God, I'd mess this up. I was thinking that the whole show. And then she comes back. She's like, nah, I do that every show. Well, let me know next time. I don't feel bad about myself the whole time. then she comes back she's like nah i do that every show it's like yeah well let me know next time yeah i don't feel bad about myself the whole time but man does did she do it again another show yeah all six shows that weekend so you would then start playing into it yes i would give her a purposefully bad intro the first time because i knew i would have to do it

again you're a great guy for that though because you can turn it up if that's me i'm like oh i don't know how to bring you up a different way i would i mean young i would have i would have been i've been like i you know you know i i would have went back out and been like this is the energy i have yeah this is all i got i don't know what you want to do yeah uh yeah that would be tough yeah i mean it's, yeah. Well, I wasn't really prepped that we'd be doing two intros here. Oh, dude, by the end of it, I was, Huntsville, Alabama! Are you ready?

Yeah, see, you're the perfect guy for that. Yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. That worked out. Yeah, it's, talking about murder, like, it's like, that's what's so wonderful about comedy is like just in a room and just people not being able to breathe because they're laughing.

Like there is no, there really isn't. I don't think there's anything better than that because it's the most honest, you know, they don't want to be doing that. That's what I like about it. I mean, they want to laugh, but when you can really get the crowd going, they're past the point of going like, I don't want to be laughing. It's an involuntary reflex. Yeah.

Aaron sent me some video. It's a lady and she's going out and she's like pulling drinks out of her shirt and she's got a glass and it is like uh it is i've never seen people laugh so hard in my life like how would you even follow your own uh opening joke you gotta do a set after that yeah yeah good stuff it's tough to go from that and be like well i, I was in the Home Depot. Yeah. Yeah. You got to start with whatever you start with is like, got to be your, you got to ride that through. Yeah.

And make sure you're able to sustain that. Yeah. Short sets, you could do it. Long sets are a little bit. You got to do an hour after that. Yeah. I think we've all seen comics though that have hit a prop on them the whole set. And at the very end, they pull it out.

Oh, yeah. You hit that the whole time? Oh, yeah. That was not worth it. Yeah. Well, Chris Killian, you know, that we all know, he famously had a closer where he would pull a rose out of his pants at the end of the show that he had had in there the whole show. I mean, I've worked the road with Chris all over the place. That would murder for him

every time i mean he might not even have the best set the whole time but at the end it didn't matter because the end would murder i mean he had a little dance that he did and it was like every time i mean i watched these uh hotel conference room comedy shows we would do and i mean it would just he would just bring a guy on stage and dance around yeah yeah yeah yeah he well i worked with him too yeah yeah it would destroy john chris tells a story i don't think he'd buy me saying this but chris killian opened for him once buried just with that closer oh yeah so hard and there was no green room so john went to the bathroom and he sat in the bathroom after the show just so he wouldn't have to see people and just one by one he'd hear people walk in and go

man that last guy's stuck he's in the stall i love that yeah good stuff yeah i mean that that closer that he had i mean it was a killer the yeah so the comedy center is jameson new york's where lucille ball's from and uh it was very it's very new it's five uh you know it's like five years i think i've they had the lucille ball comedy festival i was i did their first one 2011 or when they it was the hundred year lucille ball would have been 100 years old when I did it uh and so uh because they were going to make a thing about her there and then she's like well you should make it about all of comedy and so it's you know there's Carl Reiner stuff they have uh Mel Brooks they have a lot like a lot of that stuff they have some Seinfeld stuff but I mean the fact how much they show a stand-up it's really i mean really really

interactive like just some fun little things and they have they have like a blue room downstairs which i thought was kind of cool it's like you know because you you want families in there and stuff but you know the art to the dirty they have you know you gotta you're if you're not old enough your wristband you use a wristband to open the thing your wristband won't open the door so if a kid tried to go down there alone okay a parent can take a kid down there yeah but it's like but then once you go down there it's it's its own like kind of thing with you know more george carl and stuff and the roast and all that kind of oh yeah like that kind of stuff uh but george carlin's scroll of euphemisms here.

That's really cool. Well, the cool thing, too, was for us comedians, I imagine for, I'm not sure everybody, but you could see the notes of Dangerfield, one of his notes and set lists. Wow, that's awesome. And so you're seeing them that you're like, oh, they wrote their, like, you know, I write a set list out. They also write a set list out.

And so they wrote, you know, uh, he wrote, you know, uh, Hey, uh, how's everybody doing? And he prints these two times. So say it twice like that, that exact, which I never did that, but it's, you how you doing how you doing but his his act when you see it now you're like yeah it's a rhythm based so it's kind of like i bet that gets him those first he probably needs those two lines to get into his rhythm and you get into his rhythm is what i would imagine and that's why you're like go up there say hey doing folks hey doing folks the other day you know and then you're just you're into that And that's why you're like, go up there and say, uh, Hey, do it folks. Hey, do it folks.

The other day, you know, and then you're just, you're into that. And that's like what you got to do to get them in, you know, but it was interesting to see what Carlin's, he had some set,

some of his sets there. And it's just, you know, these guys wrote all this stuff out and it's just like, you know, in your head, you don't know what they were doing back then but it's like no they were they were prepared they were any of your stuff in there no i have a video

i was in a couple video interviews we always think about interview for them they have one of your puka shell necklaces yeah yeah yeah i left my yeah well you think about these guys on accident and i was like i'll just see what happens I just walked out I go oh dropped my hat hope I

hope it's hanging up in there somewhere they mail it to you yeah you left your hat here yeah y'all could have kept it like

this is a hat Nate wore when he came to visit and they're like what yeah no one wants that I think I I could I'll probably give them stuff if they

were see i didn't have anything in there i don't have anything in there it's it's all the guys that have been around for a long time but yeah i mean you would definitely eventually if hopefully if it continues give them stuff yeah a lot of you know science i mean it's very very cool like you know stand up that's what when the interview i talked like it's stand up is becoming its own thing it's a a much more mainstream thing than it ever has been so something like this is people are going to want to go see it and they're going to want to go you know, you know, and actually get to see how hard, you know, not to act like we're do something hard, but how in exact comedy can be.

James Gregory always said that there's more people that do brain surgery than do stand up comedy for a living. And I don't know if that's true, but, uh, sounds good. It may be. Yeah. Let's hope so. I'll counter that. There are way more bad comedians than there are bad brain surgeons, I'd say.

I've seen a lot more. Yeah. Well, because anybody can be a bad comedian. That's what I'm saying. But I mean, I think that's what it is. He's saying like, do this well, professionally. Right. More brain surgeons.

To do it professionally, there's like a level and it's the amount of years where someone has to be. And that is a special. Yeah. That's like to really. A bad brain surgeon kills somebody. Yeah. You can't just, there's not like open mic brain surgery, you know? Yeah.

I think when you're on the show. Show up, go up. Yeah. You don't just update your facebook profile to be a brain surgeon yeah you know yeah that would be yeah i don't think i think you go from nothing to madison square garden and brain surgery yeah yeah there's no build up you know not even a radio city in the middle nothing yeah they go they let you give it a go on baits. When he's 94, they go,

all right, we got a guy. He's like, I'll do it. I'll let you mess around in there. The open mic. Maybe they do. There's just a guy, John Smith, brain surgeon, Facebook page. You haven't even done surgery yet. Are you calling yourself a brain surgeon?

Maybe their people are hard up for brain surgery. They're like, I'll let anybody try. when you go do the five dollar haircut yes it's maybe they do that maybe you go yeah i'll give it a five dollar brain surgery yeah and it might be worth it yeah yeah just for the practice that's right uh where you go do you remember what you were saying or well i was gonna say about you know you're talking about set list of uh of people doing it's like you always think of these people as like legends and and you know like rodney dangerfield but it's like at some point you know they were real nervous about doing a comedy show they were like you know he has these famous johnny carson things where he's sitting on

there and it's like but probably you, that was worked out a bit. And probably Rodney Dangerfield was nervous doing that. Now we watch it and we go, this guy's amazing. And he is, but he was probably nervous before he went out there. Oh, yeah. You know, and he said no respect. And it's probably because he probably was not getting a lot of respect for a long time. Well, he wasn't.

I mean, he was 50. Yeah. He was on up there. Yeah. That's his hero. Yeah. It is. I mean, I love Rodney Dangerfield.

I look at Jelly Roll and I'm like, give me a break. Yeah. 39? Yeah. Jelly Roll, you got it too quick. Yeah. What are you talking about? Where were you at?

I was in Little Rock, Arkansas at the Studio Theater Saturday night. Great show. A lot of folks came out. Somebody brought me. I meant to bring it to you. I forgot. A Ziploc bag of leaves to give you. Oh, yeah.

So that's what people are bringing now. Come on now. Leaves. Get me the leaves. He's like, I brought you something. I'm all excited. What's it going to be? It's just a bag of leaves for you. Maybe it's a new merch for you. Yeah. Sell Dusty's leaves after the show. He's like, I brought you something. I'm all excited. What's it going to be? It's just a bag of leaves for you.

Maybe it's a new merch for you. Yeah. Sell Dusty's leaves after the show. Or maybe a currency. You can pay for things with leaves. Oh. Are you still needing more? Well, I don't need any more, but I'll take them.

Okay. People want to put their address. They live in Nashville and they want to put their address down. I'll come pick them up. You might have too many people trying to get. Yeah. How many leaves can you have? Well, you know, when you mulch them down, if you run over them with a lawnmower, they really kind of go down to nothing.

So you can use a lot. And I have nine acres out in McMinnville that I can spread leaves out on. I'm all about it. I would like this to get to a point where it's a problem. Yeah. Where you have too many leaves. Yeah. One day in this podcast, we go, all right, dead serious, everybody.

I can take no more leaves. I go, I don't know how else to say this, but we're good on leaves. I have had more success in the neighborhood though. People are giving me the leaves. Words getting out. Yeah. success in the neighborhood though people are uh giving me the leaves words getting out yeah and so i'm not um i'm not being a you know like my neighbor next to me let me rake his leaves the one that didn't want you to no no a different different guy yeah and then my other neighbor

he said i was how nice is that he let you rake his leaves yeah well it's like yeah i mean actually he had really nice he had you tell him and you had to say thank you. Well, he said thank you to me too, but I was thankful that he gave me the leaves. And so you're going to put them on nine acres. How often do you got to do this? Well, you know, they only come in the fall. So, you know, I just thought, I got a lot out there. It's like, you know, in Tennessee, we got a lot of hard clay, right? So it's not good for planting things.

If you can build up a little topsoil, that helps. So that's what the leaves do. They break down over time. So what do you think? In 2064, you made a plane of flower? I think in a year, you can do it. You can get a good layer going. Now, what's in your

backyard in Hermitage? What is that you want it to be? Wildfire? Yeah, clover, wildflowers. you want it to be wildfire fire yeah i got yeah clover wildflowers i want it to be real uh bee friendly uh rabbit friendly so you won't be mowing it at all well i got i'm gonna do like the back half a lot of wildflowers you know so the front i do want some lawn for my daughter to be able to run around and play in but uh she gets just a little you think the rabbits get more than her? Well, they can share some. My daughter likes that too, though,

because we get butterflies and we got bees. She likes the rabbits. She chases the rabbits around. We got birds. I mean, it's fun. It's a good time out there. I'm going to try to put up the bat house tomorrow. Oh, yeah. That's going to be exciting.

Yeah. That's a lot for the neighborhood. Yeah. I've decided against- Because I feel like in a neighborhood, you're like, I hope we don't have bats. And they're like, we got one guy that wants the bats to come. He's building them a home. Well, you know, people spray for mosquitoes.

They spend all this money on pesticides or mosquitoes and bats will just eat them. Yeah. And they can give you rabies and do other stuff. Yeah. But how often do you really hear about someone getting bit by a bat? I don't think people are because they're not attracting them to their homes. I was going to say, I don't hear about people building houses for them in their backyard that often.

Well, there are though. Okay. Have you seen someone have a bat house? Well, my sister has one at her house. He has. He has. As we go down this one branch of tree of the dusty sleigh family. But I'm also, you know, I'm not talking to a lot of people about it yet.

So words getting out. I'm sure people will message and let us know they have bat houses. Does your HOA know about this? No, but I mean, they're allowing chickens and stuff like that. It's like, if you're going to allow that, you got to let me have bats. Yeah. I, we should go to this Ajoy meeting and you,

the chicken and the, everybody's got to vote. One of them's got to go. Yeah. And then you got to make your case for the bat. Well, I decided against the owl house in the neighborhood because I was told they will kill chickens.

So I didn't want to kill the neighbor's chickens, even though I would really love to have some owls. I I didn't want to kill the neighbor's chickens. Even though I would really love to have some owls. I think that'd be a lot of fun. Owls, they get mosquitoes too? No, they'll kill rodents and stuff. So you could have both. Yeah.

How big is this house? It's not very big. Oh. And then the bat house. It's like a bird box. Yeah, but like a slightly bigger bird box. Yeah. And then the bat house is a real thin thing.

Yeah. And I don't have the, because they say in a neighborhood, you're probably not going to attract a whole family of bats. So they got like what they call kind of a bachelor bat house where just some random bats can live, but not a whole family. Sounds fun. Yeah. You're getting the worst bats. Yeah. Yeah. Getting the ne'er-do-wells of the bat world. Yeah. They can't even stick with Sounds fun. Yeah. You're getting the worst bats. Yeah, yeah. Getting the ne'er-do-wells

or the bat-wells. Yeah, yeah. They can't even stick with the family. Yeah. I think it's going to be great. If it ends up being bad, I mean, I'll retract my statement.

Yeah. I hope you don't get rid of this. And you get rid of the bat, yeah. Yeah, I'll come in here and I'll go, I was wrong. Yeah. No, you won't

because you'll be dead. Well, yeah. I mean, if the bat kills me. You're only going to be able to do this podcast at night. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, maybe I get superpowers. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that could be something, huh? Wait a minute. I was in Little Rock. Yeah. Aaron? I was across the border, man. I was in edmonton alberta canada all weekend very fun i did five shows at the comic strip they were all four of them were great and uh man a lot of people came out it was like it was exciting to uh to be in another country doing

comedy i was at that mall for four days and I was going a little stir crazy by the end there. What happened with the one? Yeah. Oh, the one was just okay. Oh, okay. Yeah. You went to meat. I did go to meat, and other people recommended meat, too.

Yeah. The meat was pretty good. It was great, wasn't it? Yeah. Did you do the thing that I was saying with the pickle and the mustard and the meat on each bite? Oh yeah. They had all that set out there on the table. Yeah.

It was a really good spot. Edmonton. Uh, I've, they make you think everybody's going to be speaking French in Canada. I know that that's the case other places, but Edmonton just felt like it felt like Iowa. Yeah.

No, very blue collar as Montreal's were there. Yeah. It's more that side. But when you fly into Edmonton, they're doing the announcements. Because half the country or the Montreal, that side is a lot of Quebec. That's all French. And some people in Alberta speak it, but I'm not running into it.

Bilingual country. Everything has to be in French. I was saying on stage, they did the announcements in English and French. And I looked around the plane. I was like, I don't think you need to do yeah you might need to do english twice but yeah yeah i didn't run into it at all people were great thank you to everybody do one more french yeah alberta is a real like ranching uh part of the country like i think they do a lot of that's where the coulter wall is from that country singer oh okay that makes sense area yeah i had never heard the coulter wall no no he's just culture the canadian i'm like an old man with the facebook yeah the facebook yeah

the kroger the canadian accent's crazy dude like the people that really have it, it's wild. I met a guy from Saskatoon on the elevator. Saskatoon. And I could barely understand what he was saying. He was a very friendly guy, but I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Told me his whole life story. In the elevator? Yeah. He saw I had a bag with a sticker on it.

He's like, oh, what? I was like, I don't know, dude. I don't speak French. Yeah. I don't know dude I don't speak French it's like their version of you's gotta talk to his version of you

it's really the same version of the person talking I don't know if this is gonna go good y'all might be on the same ideas but your accents are gonna be wait he had a French accent? no he just had a real thick Canadian accent

I don't speak French I was just saying I didn't understand it I got you but anyway great weekend thank you to everybody that came I did a theater show in Chattanooga at the Walker Theater sold out was great

a lot of fun saw some old friends in Chattanooga at the Walker Theater. Sold out. Was great. A lot of fun. Saw some old friends in Chattanooga. Eric Lonez came out and hang out. A host of the Comedy Catch. Eric Lones. Eric Lones, yeah. He came out and then we and then I did Bowling Green.

Theater in Bowling Green. The Sky Pack. It was awesome. A lot of fun. They gave me, I got a gift basket from a candle place and I forgot the name of it and I meant to talk about it and a guy gave me this hat off his head.

Is that Nate on it? It does look a bit like Nate on it. I don't think it is though. There's a chance I might have was supposed to get tickets for someone to that show for you.

Okay. In Bowling Green? Yeah, my buddy Patrick. Well, I hope he made it but i don't know if he did it was a great show i did an hour because i but that part of me i was like yeah yeah let me see like because i've known patrick i'll always get started and then i don't think i've ever got past that point and now that you're i just picture patrick standing outside i mean like no no no i'm friends with Nate.

Yeah. Well, I did an hour and 25 minutes at that show. Whoa. And I'm like, that's what I'm talking about. I'm in the theater vibe now. I could easily be up there for two hours. You let your opener do three minutes? Yeah.

I mean, that's where I'm at. I want someone to just go out and bring me out. What, you want to be there for two hours? I mean, I get into it. I love it out there. I probably should just, you know, sell enough tickets to do two shows and that would satisfy it.

But yeah, it feels good. I mean, I'm out there. Yeah. What do you have? Just one, one opener? Yeah. Yeah. In Chattanooga, I got my,

my old friend from Charleston, Vince Fabra to come and do a set too. And that was fun. Do a, you know, have a buddy that kind of started comedy with me, but he doesn't really do comedy a ton now. He's getting back into it, but like started comedy with me

where we would work these road shows where no one would show up and then we would split the money. And now he's opening for me at a sold out theater show. I'm like, that's pretty awesome. Yeah, you get to show him how much better you are. Who's that awesome for? Yeah, well, that's awesome for me at a sold out theater show. I'm like, that's pretty awesome. Yeah, you get to show them how much better you are. Who's that awesome for? Yeah.

We know who for. That's awesome for me, I guess. Poor guy. I was thinking about him while I was saying it, but I guess it is just awesome for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gave him no money?

Yeah. I was like, hey. You ain't split tonight. Well, he might need to know about Rocket Money. I think you might need to. Are subscriptions draining your wallet? Boy, I tell you, they're draining mine. The average person has around 12 paid subscriptions, which is 12 too many if you ask me.

And they might not even remember subscribing to half of those. If you have no idea just how much money you're spending each month, you need Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. With Rocket Money, see him on stage. He put his coat on. I mean, he was struggling. He's a pretty high energy guy and he was real low energy. He was trying, he was fumbling on his jokes and he would look over at me and make eye contact and I'd just be dying back there. I mean, I loved it. And yeah, he was struggling. How long was the drive?

Eight minutes. And it did you that? I mean, I got a little, I was like, oh gosh, what's going on here? And then, but I was fine. Were you sitting in the front? Yeah. Well, the front helps a lot. I mean, I'm always a little sick in my stomach. But if you're in the back, you can really get hit with some car sickness. Yeah.

So, yeah. So you were, that makes sense because you were in the front. Yeah. But it's, I would think. He jumped out of the car. He goes, was that driving insane or what? And the woman's still standing right there.

And I was like, well, maybe we'll get inside. Something like a maniac. Well, she probably was nervous because you jumped up front. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I mean, the whole thing was probably not a great vibe. Yeah. I'm sure everybody was happy to get out of that car.

This week, sorry, comments. Dallas Owen. I spit out my coffee when Nate said breakfast looks like the character in a video game before you pick anything. If Bates is the character before you pick anything, then Dusty is the character after you pick one of everything.

You get all the accessories. Great point. Mac McNaught accessories. Great point. Mack McNaughton. Mack Matt. That's a lot, yeah. Mack McNaughton. That's a lot of stuff. Mack.

McNaughton. That's a mouthful in itself. If it was Mack Naughton, it'd be easy. It's Mack McNaughton. So you gotta be... I bet he's been a lot of times in school where they go, Mack McNaughton. And he just has to go, here bet he's been a lot of time in school where they go, Matt. And he just says, let's go here.

They go, all right, it's fun. He's here. We had a cat run away once. A year later, someone put a missing cat poster up on our complex bulletin board. It was a picture of our cat.

Someone else wants our cat too. That's right. That's very funny. I think you just gotta kind of let it go. Yeah. Like, ah, I get it. That cat think you just got to kind of let it go. Yeah. Like, ah, I get it. That cat just wants to be on the run. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like a bat house. Yeah. Cats wouldn't really, they don't go in families either. No, I don't think so. I mean, maybe you could put up a wild cat house. Just see what comes. I have trouble picturing your neighborhood.

In my head, I picture my neighborhood when I was in Hermitage, but it was a cul-de-sac. It was, you know. Yeah, I'm in a cul-de-sac too. Sidewalk. No sidewalk in my cul-de-sac. Okay. That's all I need to know. The sidewalk ends before you.

There is a sidewalk in the neighborhood, but it ends before you get to our cul-de-sac. That says a lot. We're a tight cul-de-sac though. We're all buddies down there. No, no. Yeah. I'm not. is a lot we're a tight cul-de-sac though we're all buddies down there no no i yeah i'm not i but i'm just saying the vibe of cul-de-sac that would allow chickens and bat houses and all the

stuff you got going on uh we don't encourage walkers down there yeah i i don't yeah in my head you're i'm picturing you know a sidewalk neighborhood and but then what you're saying i'm like that just feels weird to fit in that sidewalk. But when you say there's no sidewalk, it's like kind of like, don't, you know.

I try to give people a dirty look when I know they don't live in the cul-de-sac, but yet they're driving down there. I try to give them a dirty look like,

what are you doing down here? Well, they're probably trying to see the wildlife going on. But they're kids. Yeah. Yeah.

I just, I still do it though. Yeah. You're like the burbs. Yeah. That movie. I go, what's going on down there? Guess which part you are. Patrick McCormick.

Aaron shouldn't worry about the awkward Brad Paisley meeting. Who meets someone and ask, and what do you like to do? It's like asking, how have you been this year? How have you been this year is kind of a good question. Yeah. I mean, it's more of an honest question when you see, you know, the casual Quaitin's you see go, how's the year been going? It's going great.

It actually would feel that actually, yeah, actually it might be a nice thing to say to people because you've got to be like, well, everybody's busy. You go, how's your year going so far? Year's going great. You know, it's better than how's the day.

Yeah. Who cares about the day? Nothing. Nothing. How's your, this person might have just got me into asking people, how's your year been going? Which is a much more interesting question.

Well, he had a lot more that I cut out. I mean, he was saying basically that's a Santa Claus question. Like, how have you been this year how's your little brother oh okay which i get that i like the idea of you walking to a gas station the cashier goes how you doing you go how's your year been that's funny to me but i do like it but i mean i think just for your acquaintances that you are seeing would be a good like if you see a comic at the airport or something yeah how's the year been how's your year been uh but it seeing would be a good thing. Like if you see a comic at the airport or something. Yeah.

How's your year been? How's your year been? But it might even be a good question at a gas station. Like, how's your year been going? How's your year been is a good question in like March, but in November, that's a weird question.

Might be tough. Yeah. How's your year been? You mean the whole thing? Yeah. Well, well, yeah,

then it's a, then it's a better question, I think, because now you have more to reflect on. You then go, you know, not been bad. I go, the beginning of the year is still slow. Summer, I went on a trip in summer, so that was nice. And you got Christmas. And then you're like, all right. You kind of almost can capture that person and who they are. Yeah.

Now, if you catch the wrong person, it's like, it's been tough. You know, how's your year been going? But they tend to like to tell you too yeah they'll find a way to yeah they yeah they want to just say it they want to go how's your ear been they're like i've been waiting for this yeah i've been walking around basically wanting people to ask me this how's you get you get it with that just saying that if the person can answer it i it would probably take a long time to get people used to that question. But if someone's like, how are your years? You know, someone's like, how's my year been going?

Yeah, it'd be insane. You'd be like, you know, was it Bridgestone this year? SNL? It's been just wild. They go, man, that's, yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, you're the wrong person to ask. Yeah. Yeah, you'll really bring people down.

I'll tell you. Yeah. I don't know. I think it really, it's a question that would catch people off guard. People are ready. A lot of people are ready for a small talk answer with how's your day going? Maybe even how's your week? But how's a year going?

People are like, well, let's up it. How's your decade been? Yeah. How's your family? Well,. How's your family been? Well, even how's your family been would be a year to five-year question. Yeah. If you came up and asked someone that, how's your family been? That might be a 20-year.

If you see someone at a 20-year reunion, how's your family been? That's a giant question. Go right into talk to me about the development of your family. Yeah. Go for a question like that. That's a crazy way to word it. Yeah. Tell me about the development of your family, dude.

Yeah. He goes, I don't think Dusty knows what a family is. He's trying to get answers. He goes, what is a family to you? Do you remember when I was thinking about awkward encounters with celebrities? I've had many. When I met the Titan guy who lived in my building. Yeah.

So you can only imagine how this goes. A guy who asked for an autograph of another high school student. Right. There was a Titan. His name was Rashard Matthews. And he came to the Titans. He lived in my building. I met him when he was moving in.

And they were showing him around. It was in my mail room. I got a little too excited. I was asking him a lot of questions, being very friendly at first. Then I kept going a little too deep. I was like, cool, cool, cool. I was telling him, what unit do you live in?

He got real quiet, real quick. I realized he didn't want to tell me. I tried to help him out. I'm like, you don't know yet he's like nah i don't know yet which is ridiculous you just gave him an out yeah answer but uh to me it's like if you lived in hoa and you're in the hoa office and somebody new moves in you might ask what house is yours so to me it was the same thing but yeah but a house is more committed where an apartment is more, I don't, people are coming and going. I mean, people could live there for six months, especially even a football player could live there for a month.

Yeah. Especially the day you move in. Yeah. Or unit. I'll help you. Yeah. How soon did he move out, right? Well, pretty soon, but I doubled down because he lived one floor below me.

Oh, he found out. Yeah. And I, so I was, you go, I was just looking to it. I was always around. So then one day I'm downstairs and it's early morning and just happened. PK Subban walks out. No PK Subban play for the predators. One of the more famous hockey players, Nate Chael. And he's got a fur coat on a big hat and he comes out and i'm like pk and i'm like hey could i get a selfie with you and he was very nice and why i don't know why i said this because he was coming out of richard's before i said were you visiting richard i don't know why i said that and he didn't even answer he just ignored the question

but it was the dumbest thing for me to say. Yeah. This was before he had a family. That's why he, this is why the family has really helped Bates out. I don't think you had. I've done plenty since then. I don't think it's as bad. It's like, you know, you had a lot of free time. And so you see PK, you're like, hey, I've been outside 12 times hoping to see somebody. That's how you recover now.

You go, oh, I have a family. You go, you're visiting Richard, and he looks at you. Where do you go? I have a family. Yeah. Now, well, now you don't. With a family, you're not as like, you just got your family to think about. I don't know.

Your life and family to think about. Brian says he's had plenty since. Well, I mean, one of my biggest pet peeves is when people go up to famous people or comics and say, you don't remember when we met? You don't know me?

I hate that. When Kevin Nealon was on this podcast before we started, I kind of did that to him. He sat down. Now, Kevin and I have worked together twice.

I thought he would remember me. He did not. And then I thought, oh, he's going to feel, he's going to remember it eventually. So I'll just go ahead and tell him. So I was like, oh, we worked together. And then he's like, well, oh, we did. And he's like, well, how, how are we? And I said, well, through your wife, which is such a weird thing to say. And I met his wife because she was in the green room at Zany's and she was on Parks and Recreation. And I remembered her. He's like, how do you know Susan? I was like, from Parks and Recreation, which sounds like.

That's not a good. Yeah. Like. You don't want to hear that. Oh, from TV. From a poster on my wall. Well, I thought it sounded like I worked on Parks and Rec or something. And he thought.

Oh, no. I don't think he took that. Yeah. I don't know what he. That's what he think Kevin Nealon thought. He goes, man, Nate's got some kind of staff down there. This guy left Parks and Rec to go host a podcast. And he goes, what kind of podcast is this?

Maybe that's why Kevin did it. Maybe he regrets doing it now because he's like, I thought you guys were, the guy will. Hopefully he's not listening to this episode. I didn't know I was being the showrunner for Parks and Rec. Yeah, we got them down here. I just kept digging deeper into it. What hotel are you staying at?

What hotel room? You and Nate hanging out later? Where y'all going? Imagine you go, I know from Parks and Rec. You're like, oh, I get it. I did not work on that show. It's like, what? Then he's going to be like, oh, yeah.

I didn't think you did. I didn't think you did. I thought you were asking generally the way you're asking, which is the wrong way to ask. Yeah. The Parks and Rec. That's funny. Well, anyway, I kept digging myself in a deeper hole.

So there you go. So don't feel bad about Brad Pace. Yeah, they always say, whenever you think about your own awkward moments, try to think about somebody else's awkward moments. And it's pretty hard to do. Do you know what I mean? You just think of me i don't i don't even i can't remember i mean the stories you tell are funny but i can't think of anybody else's weird awkward moments you know

just something to think about ryan dorfman i saw him chastise a comic in the greenies zany's green room for doing that wasn't me't me, but Kirk Herbstreet came in the Green Room, and the guy was kind of like, you don't remember where we met? And Kirk's like, oh, I'm sorry, I don't. And then when Kirk Herbstreet left, Dorfman said, don't ever do that. I mean, this guy sees a million people. Yeah, it's such a weird thing to do. It's like, really, you do meet a bunch of people.

I remember a lot of people, but sometimes, yeah, you don't. Oh, it's, yeah. I mean, you might see people a few times a year and you could, and then be like, it's just not because it's out of the context because you see them. That's the thing with, we're seeing them in so many different places. Yeah. That's why it's so hard to remember. I remember I went to the place, but it's like, oh, we met, we went out to eat after. And you're like, I went out to eat every city in America this year.

And so, like, I mean, maybe I like, I mean, odds are like, I'm saying you won't. But it could be as big as that. You're like, no, we hung out. And you're like, you know, it's like nothing you're trying not to. But you're like, I don't know. You know, you just you're thinking of. I mean, I forget my whole. I thought this weekend.

I don't know my. I don't think, you're thinking of, I mean, I forget my whole, I thought this weekend, I don't know my, I don't think I could do the hello world special right now. I was like thinking about it. If I had to go do that, if he was like, go repeat that. I don't, I don't know if I could. Yeah. My brain is so into this new hour that I would, I'm like, I don't think I could even start. I don't couldn't do the shields joke. I kind of remember the jokes, but as like, I couldn't do the Shills joke. I kind of remember the jokes, but it's like, I couldn't do the Shills joke. I don't think I could do, I wouldn't remember,

even the Christian parents. If I got the rhythm started, I could get it probably quicker, but I have to really go work at it. Somebody yelled out a joke to me in Bowling Green, one of my older jokes that I don't do at all anymore. And I was like, I was like, I'd like to do this joke for them, but it took me a minute. I went through other jokes while trying to think of how this joke went and I did get it and I did it, but it took me a minute. It's like, I don't just know all the jokes. So that's how you get into an hour 25. Were you taking requests? I did do that one joke. Yeah. I mean, that joke was like a minute.

I mean, yeah. I mean, I'm ready. I got lots of jokes. I mean, it's like, I don't know. I love, the theater world is fairly new to me, and I'm into it. Yeah, I'm into it. I had a real ego check this weekend. I have a long bit about beef jerky that i've been doing for a while and to this guy

sitting in the front row at the show i looked during my set i looked down he's got a huge bag of beef like a huge bag of beef jerky on the stable and i was like oh did you bring that for me and he's like what yeah i go you bring it for my beef jerky thing? He goes, I don't even know who you are. He just bought a bunch of beef jerky. I was like, God, I feel like an idiot. I'm like, oh, this is so cool. This guy brought me beef jerky. Nah, it's just a guy from Canada. Yeah, I'm good, man.

How's the beef jerky? It went great. I worked it into the thing. Yeah, yeah, it was good. And then he gave me some after. Yeah. Really good. Just right out of the bag?

Right out of the bag, yeah. Just some loose ones? Just, yeah, been touched by a bunch of strangers' hands. Yeah, it was solid. That describes Canada. I mean, Edmonton. Real beef country. Yeah.

The fact that a guy, that you're that comfortable would bring a bag of beef jerky. And sitting it on a table. You don't have it under your seat. And beef jerky smells. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah that was like we did my dad abigail they went to my nephew's basketball game she posted a picture of it but he's eating a hot tuna sandwich that he made from home in a gym in the gym and they're just his hair my dad's hair. He's a mess. He's just eating his hot tuna sandwich. And you're like,

dad, there's, I mean, everybody's got to smell that. The whole gym smells like tuna. Because I'm watching my grandson. Can't have a hot tuna sandwich. I can't have a,

can't just eat a hot tuna sandwich. I mean, you know. I went with a comic on the road one time, Jim Seward. And he put, he had pastrami in a cooler in the car. And every time he would open, I love pastrami, but every time he would open this cooler, it would just fill the car.

It was making me so sick. I'm like, it's disgusting. Like of all the meats to put in a cooler, you put pastrami in here? Yeah. in here yeah yeah that that's that's what's hard about packing your lunch or packing whatever is because uh it's this smell yeah and it's like when they're like oh you have a cooler and you do it and you're like i i don't want to if i smell it that means everybody smells it i don't want to get used to the smell that i don't even know what's happening so you're just walking around and you're like i don't you know i mean yeah, on a plane is like that's, I mean, there's, Laura will do it, I think, on purpose.

Oh, yeah. With me, she'll bring something that I'm like, we can't be eating that on this plane. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the Charlotte Airport has a Popeye's chicken in it and people buy that and bring it on a plane. And I love fried chicken, but I'm like, it's tough on a plane. It's a risky move. Yeah. Yeah, that's, I mean, but it's tough on a risky move yeah yeah that's i mean but it's tough

to they just to put it in there that's a tough one for people to just not i mean because at air airport is the only place where you're like well i'm going to starve to death yeah so you can make the most excuses right it's the hardest place to stay eat healthy i'll eat pf chang's at 7 a.m yeah yeah because you're like i don't what am i what am i gonna do i can't do this and so to have a popeyes next to it is like how do you avoid smelling like smoke well last week this is very exciting i'm glad you brought this up brian last week the west coast legend himself snoop dog announced that he is done with smoke. It's over. He's eliminating it.

Wow. How could that be that the dog father could be going smokeless? Well, we learned this week, as it turns out, that he is going smokeless, but not in the way you think. He's actually joining forces with their old friends, the makers of the world's most popular smokeless. Yeah. You should get peacocks or guinea hens who they eat not only

mosquitoes but ticks and other bugs as well each year the peacocks shed their feathers so you get free peacock feathers which you're already in the hole behind those so guineas offer an excellent security system as they let you know whenever anyone comes in your yard. Well, Thomas, this is great. This seems much easier than bats. Yeah. Peacock's pretty fun. Peacock is fun.

And who couldn't use some extra peacock feathers? Yeah. You know what I mean? Maybe saying the cost to relocate for you is very expensive. What do you mean? He says your neighbors won't be happy with bats.

And if you get tired of them, the cost to relocate is very expensive. He says your neighbors won't be happy with bats. And if you get tired of them, the cost to relocate is very expensive. If you get tired of your neighbors, the cost for you to relocate is very expensive. I don't know. I think he's talking about the bats. Well, then what does that mean? Why was that expensive? You just take it down. Maybe because you're, I mean, he's, he might be picturing a bat house. Like I'm picturing, which is a shed type house that you're, I picture picturing, which is a shed type house. Yeah. I picture you trying to get. Like an old clock tower. Yeah.

Like if you're like, well, I got four bats. I mean, four bats might not. They can't do all the mosquitoes. Yeah, this is a very small house. It's just that it's like the wood is really close together. And that's what bats like to be able to get in there and hang down. Yeah. But is that many

do you need a lot of bats to have mosquitoes i don't think so i think a couple of bats could eat a ton of mosquitoes yeah what about spectrosite well i just am not really into pesticides these days you know forgot where you came from yeah i'm trying to go pesticide free you give her ticks too and other bugs. Well, I'm into that. I mean, if I had some land, I would be into some peacocks and some guineas. I think it's just a male peacock. Oh, right.

I think it's a different kind of species altogether. I mean, it's a bird. Yeah, I think I've seen guinea hens in people's yards. We've lost our connection there. I think a hen in itself is a female. Yeah. Look it up. Glad we got to the bottom of that.

Richard McElroy. Brian should consider apologizing for saying Coco the gorilla killed her pet kitten. The truth is it escaped from Coco's cage and was run over by a car. As it escaped from Coco's cage and was run over by a car. When it was signed to Coco that her kitten had died, Coco signed, Bad, sad, bad, and frown, cry, frown, sad, trouble. Coco was also heard later making a sound similar to human weeping. Brian. Wow.

Wow, you should apologize. I hope no one says that you said that to Coco. Well, I did. I got it wrong. I got Coco mixed up with you said that to Coco. Well, I did. I got it wrong. I got Coco mixed up with another ape that killed their pet. So I do want to apologize. Coco's no longer with us. I want to post if Coco's family's listening, I want to apologize to them or anyone else in Coco's immediate family that heard me say that.

I apologize. Maybe don't sign it to Coco that the cat died. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You ever see a video of Robin Williams doing comedy to Coco? He's killing to another species. Oh, really? Yeah.

Apparently Bill Burr has a special. He's tickling it funny and he's laughing. I mean, that's impressive. Bill Burr has a special where he talks about this. And I think it's called Justice for Coco or something like that. Oh, okay. Robin Williams was very hairy. I think so. He could be Coco or something like that. Oh, okay. Robin Williams was very hairy. I think so.

He could be part gorilla, Robin Williams. Yeah. He's a very hairy guy. Saying that's why he connected with them. Yeah. I guess his whole comment was just making fun of the dad. Coco and Robin Williams, he pulled him in here somehow. Taylor Collins

I used to babysit For my cousin And my aunt Had an African Gray parrot He was very smart And would make the sound Of the phone ringing

And then shout At my cousin's voice And say Mom phone Oh gosh What a nightmare Yeah That's fun

Good job reading that comment Yeah Yeah That was solid dude I mean you emphasized it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The mom phone.

SNL, the acting really paid off. The acting's coming out. It's coming out. Annie Halcom. I love that Dusty brought up his future worms on the pets episode. I'm not allowed pets in my apartment, but I'm dreaming of setting up worms outside this spring for food, composting. As a newcomer to the pod, this felt like a sign I'm in the right place here. You're being into some more other stuff.

Yeah, in the right place. I mean, keep listening to the things I say and then get into that stuff. Yeah. I mean, that's the way to go. I've not set up the worm farm yet, but I do have the tub now. So it's on its way. Where's the tub? Tub's in McMinnville.

It's unloaded. Yeah, it's unloaded. I unloaded a cast iron tub out of the back of my truck by myself. Wow. I've been working out. Yeah. Do you ever sit at home? You ever have? You feel like you got a lot going on. Yeah, we're moving around a lot. I mean, we like to get into it. Yeah.

I noticed from listening to your podcast and just your special, you go to Michael's a lot. Still very funny that you have a podcast. Yeah. I like to talk. I'm a bit of a talker. It just goes. Everybody go check Dustin's podcast.

What's the other one? Michael's. And what's the other one that you got kicked out of? Joe. I didn't get kicked out. Joe Ann's Fabrics. Joe Ann's Fabrics. Yeah.

And you're always looking for picture frames or fabric. Yeah. I mean, picture frames. Well, you know, I like to frame stuff and sometimes I have deals. Buy one, get one free. Yeah. But they also, they don't make it very clear what the deal is. So often I take the frames to the counter and I go, I just want to make sure these are on the buy one, get one free list.

But in the back of my mind, I'm like, I know they they are but i don't want you ringing them up and not being they go oh well not these yeah and i'm like well not these why you got signs all over the whole area yeah i mean so i'd be specific about it i walked out i walk i just walk i leave our picture frames i leave them with the frames yeah i go well go, well, all right, then get your signs right. What do you think is going to happen? Like, let's say you get super famous. Everybody knows you. Do you think you ever just stop it or you just, this is what they get? Well, I hope that, you know, they'll just remember that I did this when I wasn't famous.

Yeah. You know, and don't. How you haven't changed. And don't make it like a fame thing. It's like, no, I've always been difficult in a retail store. Yeah. And don't make it like a fame thing. It's like, no, I've always been difficult in a retail store. Man, fame's got his head. No, no, no.

Your biggest defender. Nah, he's always been difficult. Yeah. Any kind of store, you don't want that guy in the store famous or not famous. Exactly. He took badly when he didn't have money. Yeah. I've been in – I worked in retail stores too much. I've been – I know how the employees are in there from working side by side with them.

It's like, don't play these games with me. Ish Mendoza. Ish Mendoza. uh ain't uh ish Mendoza ish Mendoza seem like it's gonna be hard name uh not not as bad

as a good one yeah ish Mendoza bran muffin said chow chilla instead of chinchilla chow chilla is a

small farm in California town about 40 minutes north of Fresno messed up Fresno yeah I meant to say chinchilla chinchilla chow chilla I do know my grandmother lived there for a couple years when she was California town, about 40 minutes north of Fresno. Messed up Fresno. Yeah, I meant to say Chinchilla.

Chinchilla. Chinchilla, I do know. My grandmother lived there for a couple of years when she was little. Wow. What? Can you believe that? I don't believe it. That's crazy.

This is like the 1910s. Oh, that was probably 1850s. Yeah. No, not that far. She was one of the first people out there. Yeah. She might have been for the gold rush. Yeah, it's the gold rush.

Chinchilla has a very famous thing happen. Well, I don't know how famous, but a school bus of kids got kidnapped and held hostage and the hostage takers buried them alive

in a rock quarry. Wow. It got darker as it went. But they all survived. Oh, oh, God. Oh, man. Bad news baits coming alive.

Well, it ends up well, so. In Livemore, California. Well news baits coming alive. It ends up well. In Livemore, California. Well, that's where they got buried, but they're from Chowchilla. Look at that. It's got the 1976 Chowchilla kidnapping. For ransom money. And they were asking for ransom money, and then the kids.

They spent 16 hours underground. That's brutal. And you told it like it was a positive day. It ended up good. Yeah. That was 47 years ago. So these kids are probably, are they your age maybe? Or how old were they?

I don't know how old they were. 26 children, 5 to 14. So 47 years ago. So some people on that bus are your age. So we could be looking at a Chowchilla victim right here. Has your grandmother not moved? Yeah, has your grandmother not moved, you would be, this is the exact age you would have hit it dead on.

You'd be Chowchilla. I'd be a hero. You think those kids got their parents to drive them to school after that? Or they were still like, I wish I could take you, but I still have to work. It'd be like you trying to get an apartment. You're George Costanza versus the Andrew Doria survivor. But you're trying to get it from one of them.

They're like, well, we were underground for 16 hours. How many people go underground on a normal bus? How many hours on a regular bus are you underground? 30, 40? Come on. All three people who did this have been paroled. They're all out walking free. Wow.

As of last year. Wow. So they're still out there. At least they're reformed. That's what you hope people understand. Younger people and they do crazy things. Those guys were in prison 47 years of their life. Yeah. You go in and they obviously had to be older.

It was the quarry's owner's son and two of his friends. So it was like younger kids that did this. You go in, and they obviously had to be older. It was the quarry's owner's son and two of his friends. So it was like younger kids that did this. Yeah. But yeah, they were in their 20s. It's too bad for the kids. I mean, the dad, yeah, but it's like he drug his kids along. Man, yeah. And they were like, all right, well, dad says we should do this, so let's do it.

Yeah, that's tough, man. That's, you know, you really honestly, you hope kids, like I don't think kids think of stuff, you know, where you're like, man, your whole life, those kids go in at 20 and they're not out till they're 67, 70 years old. Jeez. Yeah. That's real. Your whole life is. And then you, and you get out at the end just to be like, here's the end of it. Yeah, and you go to prison in 1976 and then you come out now, like the world has completely changed. You're in a different place. You won't, yeah.

Yeah. You're getting a senior citizen discount and Shoney's is not even around anymore. Finally, he goes, you know what I look forward to going to Shoney's yeah he goes I hope they're around

what are you out of your mind that was the pop in this place like you could never imagine that they would go into the ground yeah I think at this point

it's only better imagine what you thought the breakfast buffet would be yeah there's a couple still left yeah Shoney's was Shoney's was nice

it's a great name yeah that Yeah. Shoney's was nice. It's a great name. Yeah. That one with Dawson Pike still there, isn't it? Oh, I don't know. Shoney's was like, we didn't get to go much, but man, it was like, it would be a big deal. Like if it was like, you got to go to Shoney's, you'd want to go every week. Oh, yeah. I get a big boy.

That was called? The burger was called the big boy, wasn't it? Big boy. Oh, man. I always got the kids fish and chips. I went as a kid. Yeah. And just stayed the same?

Yeah. Who's that, Aaron? This is the victory parade for the survivors. No, maybe trap them on a float for 60 minutes. Some of the kids don't look pumped about it. I don't know. Can we walk around a little bit? No, no.

Stay on the floor. Don't get off the floor. Yeah, but I mean, you know, we're just kind of antsy. That's wild. Yeah, that is crazy. Chad Mangum. Mangum. Mangum.

Chad Mangum. Mangum. Like dad gum or man gum? Chad man gum. Man gum. Like dad gum or man gum. Chad man gum. Man gum. I love the ongoing debate of who would blend into which sport, and I would be interested to circle back to Aaron being a long snapper. You can fine-tune the snap to be quick and accurate,

but what about punt coverage? The average punt travels 45 yards, and the snapper is the first guy down the middle of the field. Can Aaron make the tackle or at least force the returner to go wide? No, I don't think I'd succeed at that part of it. I have a

hard time thinking you're going to still be the first person down the field. You might be the first guy that can run. I'll get a head start on everybody, but I'm not getting down there. Yeah, I think it's going to be like, golly, that long snapper barely makes it 10 yards. What I took it as, if you saw me standing on the sideline in pads, and somebody said, that's the long snapper, that's the closest chance I got to blending in.

Yeah, but you you got to go play see that's what i think i'm on a really good team we don't punt that often the debate yeah is the debate who would look best in the uniform no no i think it's you got to play yeah so that's what i think i love dude i love this idea and i've thought about it a lot and so i want to see maybe one day we can do something like it's, uh, but it's like to shoot, shoot something or cause I do. I think it's very fun. I'll do the swim. I'd like to train a little bit, but I also, if I do the swim and get embarrassed by other swimmers, I need Brian to be out on a professional soccer field.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you'd have to to it'd be very fun we could try to shoot it where it's like you have a camera that's you know like a kind of a far view camera yeah swimming would be easy we get everybody's a professional swimmer and then you know and maybe you have to put your hair up in that thing so no one could tell your hair yeah i mean i'm fine losing i'm losing. We're speedo. Well, I'm fine losing, too. Well, that's how they're going to pick. If everybody's wearing the proper things.

One guy's in a t-shirt. Yeah. But I'm fine losing and swimming. Not that I brought my own shorts. Cut off jeans. Yeah. As long as I get to see Brian on a professional soccer field. Yeah, you would.

I mean, then we'd have Brian go play like probably, you know, whatever level soccer would agree to do this. Wouldn't it be amazing if he were really great though? Like if this whole thing came down to Brian is actually a great soccer player. I mean, yeah, it'd be amazing if there was peace on the world.

What are we, what are we talking about? You saw him go up going down the stairs. I don't know what you – he's going to surprise you out on the field. Well, again, I never claimed to be a great soccer player. I can walk around out there. Yeah, I think he would – a ref is what you – a ref you would be. NFL ref for sure.

Anything. NFL is a long way to run. He might do good, even NBA. I'm proud. Just stand down the right field line. Yeah. Fair. There you go. That'd be good. Baseball.

Someone heard us talking about it. It's like baseball would be a good one. Baseball, it'd be go stand down right field. That was my whole life. Go stand down right field you go do just keep it going your cutoff man's 10 feet from you yeah because that's how close he's got to get there's

two cutoff yeah he goes i need i gotta run i need to run up he goes throw it to the cutoff boy i can't get to the center filter. You throw it to a man in the stands and he throws it. Hey, could you throw this in for me? Uh, Mike Evans, pet slash house sitting is a major part of the traveling plan for my wife and me. We use a couple of websites like trusted house sitters.com that connect pet owners to willing and vetted caregivers. The exchange is the opportunity to visit

a location and stay in a home and a neighborhood while caring for the homeowner's home and or pets. Believe it or not, our most recent travel took us to Nashville for our very first time. We got to be a part of New Material Monday at Zaney's and heard Dusty and Aaron.

Alright. That's awesome. That's the show I'm thinking of. That was a hot show. They didn't say whether or not they enjoyed it. Yeah, they didn't comment on the show at all. Yeah, they didn't see it. This could have been the beginning of an angry email. You know, I signed up for this when I first quit my job.

I signed up for Trusted House Sitters to go to different cities. I don't think I ever actually did it. I thought you switched apartments with someone. I did that too a few times, but I also signed up for this. You helped me take a picture. I didn't have a dog, and they wanted photos of you with pets. So Annie goes over to your house, and I squatted up next to her. You did a photo shoot with Nate's dog.

With Nate's dog and Annie, and Nate took the picture for the website. It's crazy you didn't get it. Well, funny the name is Trusted House Sitters, and your whole thing is based on a lie. Yeah. It's crazy you didn't get it. Wow. Funny the name is Trusted House Sitters, and your whole thing is based on a lie. Yeah. Well, I didn't get it. They could see through me. Yeah, that is true. These guys might be good.

They might be real good. Yeah. Shelby Parker. Aaron, an octopus is also my least favorite animal. They creep me out so much, and I can't even watch them on TV. You perfectly described the reasons that they're the worst. That got me wondering, what is everyone's least favorite animal? Uh, I don't like snakes.

I mean, I guess that's a popular one, but yeah, I don't, yeah, I don't know. Uh, I don't know. But the thing, the snake doesn't have near human intelligence. You know, that's the creepy part of this for me yeah yeah i guess i don't think of creepy with an octopus because it's like anything underwater you're like they don't feel gross to me or something like oh really stay out of the water yeah they don't feel yeah i mean they could scare me but i get the idea you could talk i could see how that's like not yeah that's why i reacted to when somebody had an octopus in their house.

That's what I'm saying. So like an octopus, they don't. I'm not frightened day to day by octopi because they're in the ocean. Yeah. You know. Somebody recommended a documentary. A couple of people did that you should watch. I think it was called Mr. Octopus or something.

My octopus teacher or whatever. Yeah. That creeped me out, dude. Oh, it didn't work. Okay. I checked that. I checked that out. No. See, it didn't work. Okay. I'd check that out. No. See, this is creepy to me, too.

I never really thought about that with octopus, but that's pretty creepy. The octopus teacher's this dude that just swam around and fell in love with an octopus. Oh, okay. No, I don't like that. Nah. That's what the movie's about? It's the whole you develop the relationship with an octopus. People will be marrying an octopus. Yeah, it's getting us

close to that, isn't it? It's getting us close to that. I don't think it's like a romantic love, but they just become infatuated with each other. What is it? Sounds like romantic to me. I think it was nominated for an Oscar. I mean, it was a very well-received documentary.

Oh, it's a real thing? Oh, yeah. My octopus teacher. Well, I'm ready for you to pay me my 20 bucks here soon. I mean, that's coming. People said it already happened. A year spent by filmmaker Craig Foster for forging a relationship with a wild common octopus in a South African kelp forest. It won the award for best documentary at the 93rd Academy Awards.

So it was a big deal. But I turned it off about halfway through. I couldn't handle it. I didn't like it. I think I would agree. Why? Because of the octopus? The whole thing just creeped me out and was weird. And yeah, once you learn how smart they are.

What if every time she went there, it was a different octopus and she never knew? I mean, how do you really know? Yeah. They say octopus can impregnate itself. How does she know which one? They just go to the same spot? Well, they have distinct markings, and it would be in the same spot. And it got to a point where it would come up.

It would come up to him. Oh, as a guy. And just let it follow it around. Like where? Like in the ocean? It says the- He'd walk around in the ocean and it would. In South Africa.

Yeah. He'd snorkel down with it. Just hang out with it. Yeah. Spend time with it. It's like it's friend. It became friends with it. That would make me want to watch it more than what you described it as.

Like he fell in love with a. He did. But I mean, it's like his buddy, the way he loves a dog. I said it's not a romantic thing. But it's more than a dog, though. It's different. It's different because it's smart.

Watch this after Shawshank. Yeah, but he loves it like a dog. Watch what? This after Shawshank. I'll do this first. Watch Sherry. It would really upset me if you watched this before you watched Shawshank. I'll do this first. What's your idea? It would really upset me if you watched this before you watched Shawshank Redemption, dude. Do you think that Octopus has seen Shawshank?

Has it already watched it? I mean, it's already won an Oscar. Yeah. Yeah, they watched it together. That's more than Shawshank won. Yeah. They didn't win an Oscar? No, because it was the toughest year ever to be nominated

because Forrest Gump just won everything. Oh, but I thought Shawshank was the best movie ever. Shawshank was a flop at the box office. It didn't make money at the time. It picked up steam later. Ted Turner bought it, and he put it on TNT forever, and then DVD sales came out and made a lot of money after the fact. Yeah.

I didn't realize that. Kind of bombed at the time. Yeah. Terrible name. It's a tough name. If they should redo it, they should name it something else. Well, I don't realize that. Kind of bombed at the time. Yeah. Terrible name. It's a tough name. If they should redo it, they should name it something else. Well, I don't know. Now I think it's a great name because it's the most you recognize.

But if you know nothing about it and you just see Shawshank Redemption, that's not. Probably that's what's kept me. Then maybe I would agree to if I saw it. What's kept me from watching is I just picture some whole heavy. Sounds pretentious. Yeah. It does. Yeah.

It does sound pretentious. But it's it's great uh brooklyn stab stable stable stable i bet stay bowel because there's an i yeah stable but an i after the b stable i bet there's something you're doing a little something at the end stable yeah i don't think you're just going stable i think you're doing a little something at the end Stable Yeah I don't think you're just going stable I think you're doing a little something at the end I think you get to the B and you're like You better

Yeah Buckle up Strap in Hold on Brooklyn stable Stable Stable My mom was majorly depressed

Oh boy And Strap in My mom was majorly depressed. Oh, boy. And... Strap it. My mom was majorly depressed and needed to get out and be around others, so I invited her to join me on my six-hour drive. I put on the podcast, and she said that she had never watched any of Nate's

stand-up. We proceeded to watch every special we could find for the remainder of the trip, and the Nate melody made the time go by faster and had her crying with laughter. She said she hasn't laughed like that in a long time. And I think it was really healing. Well, that's the best.

Wow. Thank you, Brooklyn. Yeah. I love. Yeah. I mean, man, hearing people laugh. It's a very rewarding thing to hear. I can tell you that.

It really does mean. it means a lot in hearing stuff like that. Cause it's, uh, that's why you do it. That's why you do it. And you really do, and you really do do it for that. And that's what I've enjoyed with as you know, doing standup is like, you're just like, cause you can just, I mean, man, when you're just hearing people going, you're like, it's, it's, it's, you know, you just feel it's really, you know, it feels, it's great. And it, and it fuels us to be, to keep wanting to get back. Cause you're like, I just want to keep, you know, giving.

Yeah. And I think if you laugh a lot, if you're around people that make you laugh, you can really take for granted that some people aren't in those environments where they're not laughing a lot. So it. So they really do need a comedy show. Yeah. And they really get to go, man, that was, you know, hopefully feel relieved and happiness and, you know, just can move forward. All right.

Dustin, you want to tell us about AG1? I sure do. If you are a big Nateland fan, you know that we've been drinking ag1 for a couple of years we all started drinking ag1 daily and really feel like we're doing something good to cover all our nutritional bases that's because ag1 is a foundational nutrition supplement that supports your body's universal needs like gut optimization, stress management, and immune support.

Since 2010, eight- Bathrooms are called different things in different parts of the world. It's relatable because we all use it. That's right. Unless you live in an area where they don't have them. But you still use the bathroom. You do. I'm guessing if that's the case, you're not listening to this podcast.

That's probably true. Yeah. Well, yesterday was World Toilet Day. Oh, okay. And that's to bring attention that much of the world still doesn't have access to that. And what those people want most is for us to know about it. Yeah, just dive into the history of it. They're like, yeah, we don't have it, but we're still not going to have it, but it's good if you know that we don't have it yeah what is the world uh toilet day though it's because how many people

don't have toilets i know other companies other countries and stuff and they do it but then you also want to go why can't we get them toilets yeah well i think it's not the actual toilet but maybe the piping and yeah i mean derrick and then they go over there and they do a lot of stuff and build these communities up. Right now, there are 3.5 billion people still living without safe toilets. 419 million people still practice open defecation. What's a safe toilet, though? One of my toilets in my house is not... I've used some unsafe toilets.

Yeah. But what is this? World Toilet Day is about accelerating change by doing whatever you can take action today and share the campaign with your with your with your people i guess it's just it's just raising awareness break taboos talk about the critical connection between toilets water and you and, you know. Yeah. It's. Yeah. Yeah, it's.

You know, those toilet taboos. Yeah. I understand. Like, I just think how you can't have. How could you, if, like, what is the plan? Well, for one, let's stop putting food waste, food waste oils medicines and chemicals down our toilets well that's true yeah we gotta stop doing that right compost yeah make it into compost it's about being the change that's right and i can see that but it's like i thought the big thing was

like let's let's talk about i could see if it's world toilet day and it's like hey here's how you do toilet but like they want you to give money, and I just don't. I'm just saying, how's it going to get to the toilet? Well, it's got to work its way down. If I give this thing money, am I buying a toilet? For sure going to get themselves a toilet. Can I buy five toilets and be like, and they'll just knock on the door and bring a person a toilet? No, I don't think that's what this charity does.

Yeah. I don't know if this is. I mean, there's not even a place to donate on here. I think there's really just one place to donate. Oh, I thought it said give money. But just like on your own, do whatever. Make your commitment and be the change. I bet that's where you give the money.

Oh, yeah. They disguise the word donate. Yeah. It's probably a monthly thing. You don't just give one time. You got to sign up. This is the unwater.org is the united nations yeah it would be like that's what i'm saying is i would like to if they like it i think that's what happens is when they're like well

three and a half million people don't have toilets in their head you're like then how come we can't just like let's go solve that and i think everybody would be like yeah but i just want housing just i want it to be done. Right. So let's, you know, and I understand. I don't want to hear about this next year. But honestly, you go, let's get it done. Like, let's go.

Okay. That's the giant thing. Then let's, what do we got to do? Yeah. If they laid out the plan, they were like, all right, in this area, all we need is this much money and we can get it built. Then we could all donate to there and then we'll say, all right, is it done? And then if it's done, then you can go, all right, well, let's start

doing this everywhere. Yeah, I'm with you. I am shocked to hear it's that many people. I think they've made great strides over the last few decades and getting people access to... I mean, yeah. Last year was 3.7 billion. Now it's 3.5 billion.

Are you serious? No, I'm just making it up. I'm saying it's such a huge number. Yeah. It's like 3.5 still living without safe toilets, but 419 million still practice going outside. I do that. I practice going.

I pee outside three or four times today so that means yeah I mean half a billion it's not that late in the day

so we're going down so right now we've already cut it down to three billion because half of them are trying to do it outside that's what that says yeah

half of them are like that's the main thing this is where we do it we do it outside save yourself some water mm-hmm mm some water well anyway bathrooms i mean i don't want people to die i mean that yeah right right but it's i don't understand what a safe toilet is i'd like them to define that a bit better i think just a toilet yeah like just running water it's really it's a running water yeah because you have

water you'd have all this stuff which derrick my all everybody over there they go and do a lot of this right stuff so they do you you and go build up these a lot of mission trips and stuff like that yeah but it's always like that kind of thing where you want to go and i believe they are all doing that kind of stuff and i have trouble i guess with this thing specifically being like well what are you if you're this big thing what are you doing probably you're this big thing, what are you doing? Probably, they're probably very unsanitary. A lot of these non-safe toilets and disease probably spreads.

But bathrooms are more than just toilets. They're showers. They're sinks. Yeah. Keep going. Yeah. Bath mats. Yeah.

Yeah. Bath mats. Sometimes they'll have a floor tile in there. Thank you, Dusty. Yeah. They're called different things in different countries. Yeah. Yeah, bath mats. Sometimes they'll have a floor tile in there. Thank you, Dusty. Yeah. They're called different things in different countries. Australia, anybody know what they're called in Australia? A washer.

Loo's. Yeah, the loo. Is it? I was just. Water closets. That's England. Well, they're. WC.

Cut from the same cloth. Okay. Well, they call it a dunny. A dunny. I haven't heard. I didn't hear that. They got to go run to the dunny. A dunny. I haven't heard. I didn't hear that. They got to go run to the dunny real quick. Yeah.

According to the internet. Canada, it's a washroom. Yeah. Japan, it's a bingo. All right. Dynamite stuff right here, boy. We're rolling. Well, the average person spits between six and eight times a day in the bathroom.

Six and eight times? Yeah. You got to be hydrated out here. You got to be drinking the water. I bet so. All together. You think that, well. It's for anything.

To go in and like look in the mirror, to go in and brush your teeth. Well, I think it's, you're peeing. That feels like a lot of times. If you drink it, if you're properly hydrated. At my age, it seems low. Look, on this podcast, I noticed you guys- He was browned with guilt for six days. He goes, sign me up.

Where can I get six? I've done that since I've been here. But on the podcast, you guys rarely drink your whole mug of water. Every time I drink the whole mug of water. Nate often brings a refill of water. So I bet you're not properly hydrated. I am doing all right. How do you know? No, I bet you're not properly hydrated. I am doing all right. How do you know?

No, I bet you're not. I actually make an effort to do it. How much do you drink? About a gallon a day. You need a gallon. Yeah. I think it's- How do you do it?

You have a big thing? I have water bottles and I drink eight of them. Yeah. You know? And you don't pee eight times? No. You You know? And you don't pee eight times? No. You drink eight bottles and you don't pee eight times? Well, I don't know.

I don't do it often. I really don't keep count. Maybe I'll keep count the next few days. Do you hold it for a long time to build up? Sometimes I do, yeah. Well, I don't do it for a reason. Yeah. It's just sometimes I do.

You're like, I want to make sure I only pee four times a day. My own self is young. Yeah. Doesn't go. How, you pee a lot of times pee four times a day so myself is young yeah doesn't go how you pee a lot of time 20 times a day 2025 yeah oh dude no i don't know that's that's your whole day every time you walk by bathroom you think about it might as well go might as well go i'm about to sit down so i might as well do it before I sit down. Yeah. That is good. Water's delicious.

That is good water. Water's delicious. I love water. I know I have friends that don't. They tell me they don't drink water. I never drink water. And I mean, I've been doing it for the past year, like trying to. It's hard.

I cannot do it. But I mean, man, when you want it, it's. And I've started being able to feel the sodas and the stuff that dehydrates you. And you can feel coffee like this kind of, you can just be like afterwards. You're like, I mean, that just felt like it sucked so much out of me.

Yeah. So, I mean, I, I understand it. I get, I get needing it. I only drink water and black coffee.

That's what I like. And when I would have cigars, I haven't had cigars in a month. I would drink water and black coffee. That's what I like. And when I would have cigars, I haven't had cigars in a month, I would have like a ginger ale. Nicotine free right now. Oh, yeah. It feels good. Yeah. Yeah.

I've been a little more intense, but it feels good. Yeah. Yeah. That's where the bat house stuff is coming from. Yes. Laurie, looking for stuff to find interesting? No. Well, we're on episode 175.

You said find stuff that's silly. I love it. Yeah, I love it. The first flushing toilet was invented by a poet. Thomas Crapper. Wasn't that his name? He's the guy who... I swear to God, that's his name.

I was getting to him next, but he's the guy who really refined the toilet, but he wasn't the inventor. Okay. He brought it into a different league. The last name Crapper faded away shortly after that. No, I think... Was it used that way

before him? I think we're paying homage to him. That's what I'm saying. The last name. Oh, but yeah, they stopped using it. Yeah, they were like, we're going to go ahead and change this. Well, he is like... Yeah, he refined it. He ran a plumbing company in England and he made it a lot better. And there's legend that World War II soldiers from America saw the signs everywhere and say, I'm going to go use the crapper.

And that's how that came about. Oh. But I don't know if that's true or not. I saw crapper plumbing signs all over England. Yeah. But the guy, John Harrington. He's probably like, well, that's not. It's like a mix of good and bad for business.

Where you're like, people are aware of your business, but then you're also being like, that's not the best word to have associated with your business. But back then it was not associated at all bad. Yeah, I think it was just the name. But now crap has got to be real bad. Yeah, that's what I think. You're like, you're crapper, you invented it, and then they start calling it a crapper, and then you're like, oh, I don't want my last name to be this anymore.

He held nine patents, three of them for water closet improvements, such as the float. A lot of this terminology is pretty wild. He improved the S-bend plumbing trap in 1880 by inventing the U-bend. I mean, this guy, he turned a downplay his involvement, Brian, but this guy. Revolutionized the. Revolutionized. That's a good word for it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they put his parents name, his parent. I guess he had one parent. Charles Crapper. Old Chuck Crapper. I mean, but why would they only put one parent and then they go, I don't know. And then, and I feel like his name is like, you're like, what, you know, I feel like when he's like Thomas Crapper and then everybody's going to be like, well, who's, who is that? His wife kept her maiden name.

Yeah. Spouse is Maria green. That's why you don't see his mom. Green crapper. Maybe that crapper name went down quick. Yeah. Uh, yeah.

His, his father, Charles was a sailor. He was, he was a prince to his brother, George. I mean, there's no talk of his mom. I guess they don't know

she might have not want to be a part of this in 1904 crapper retired passing the firm to his nephew george crapper and his business partner robert marr wear them that's a tough name too oh yeah like wear them like it's not you know it's you, you would hope it'd be like a cool name to be like, all right, offset it. Uh, well, come on down to crapper and wear them.

Uh, can't crap them, wear them. Yeah. We got on down here. Uh, yeah, that's,

uh, yeah, that's tough, man. And yeah, but I think you got to put his dad's name in there just cause you're like, you almost believe it almost has to show you i wonder if they do it because it has to show you that this person's real yeah because you'd be like they're making this up and then that's all they got to do

you go they're not making up his dad's name was charles crapper that also could be made up yeah but it's but in your head you're like well if had a dad named Charles Crapper, then I bet Thomas is that too. Yeah. Oh, it was World War I soldiers. Excuse me. That's okay. But back to John Harrington, who was a poet, and he was the godson of Queen Elizabeth I. And he wrote some risque poems, so they banished him from the court.

And during his exile, this is in the 1500s, he built a house and devised and installed the first flushing toilet. He called it the Ajax. And then eventually Queen Elizabeth forgave him and visited his house. And he showed her his new invention and she tried it out. And she liked it so much, she ordered one for herself. And when you say you're going to the John, it's because of John Harrington. Whoa. Oh, man.

And Porta John. Oh, Porta John. Yeah. Yeah. This guy really made a splash. So this was invented in the 1500s. And it wasn't until Thomas Crapper came along that it really got revolutionized. 400 years.

Yeah, it took 400 years to really take it to the mainstream. Yeah, maybe people didn't really worry. I mean, we couldn't get word around back then. Yeah. It's pretty, I mean, what a different time. This guy was exiled for writing risque poems. Imagine caring that much about a poem. Yeah.

You kick somebody out of society. The original cancel culture back then. Oh, man. I like to see these poems. Now, I feel like one of our early podcasts, we were talking about what's the greatest invention. And was it you that said the toilet or was it Nate? And you said air conditioning. No, I've always been said air conditioning no i you said i've always

been an air conditioning fan okay yeah i think we debated over which one was more important yeah if you're living in the south it's tough to debate the ac thing because i always thought why would people live why would they settle up in minnesota and wisconsin with it being so cold but then i realized like before the air conditioner, why would you settle down South? Yeah. A lot of them didn't until, until the AC. Yeah.

If you track like population growth in the South, it's after air conditioning, central air got used. That's when they really started taking. Yeah. Cause you could actually live down here comfortably. Couldn't do that for a long time. Yeah.

Yeah, man, it is brutal. Yeah. That would make sense. You're like, you gotta go somewhere in between. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta, you Yeah, that would make sense. You got to go somewhere in between. Yeah, somewhere in the middle.

My grandmother didn't have air conditioner in her house in the 90s in Alabama. Oh, my gosh. We would go to visit her and just have the windows open with an oscillating fan. Yeah. It's brutal. Yeah. Didn't you say your dad had an outhouse? Yeah, when he was growing up. Yeah. It's brutal. Yeah. Didn't you say your dad had an outhouse? Yeah, when he was growing up.

Yeah. I can remember outhouse at my church when I was a kid. Wow. What? Yeah. So if you had to use the restroom during service, it was outside. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a good way to encourage people to not go to the bathroom during the service. Yeah, I didn't go very often. Yeah. I mean, this was, yeah, it was in was the 80s i'd actually be a fan if you could have a really nice outhouse it maybe should be separated from the house a bit like a little air-conditioned out there i mean just your neighbor is watching you walk out to the middle of the yard with a newspaper. And the whole neighborhood is like, oh, boy.

Get the kids. Get the kids. He's about to hear some screaming going on. It's a little earlier than usual. He must have got into something. Going out with a cup of coffee. Yeah, I want it separated. I mean, your family might want it separated, but I mean, you don't need to put that on everybody.

These people in the neighborhood just see you. You got your open bathrobe, newspaper. Horse with no name. Every morning. You hear that playing as you're walking out. As you're walking out, walking down there. Bill, how you doing? He's walking to his.

I mean, just, I think people are too comfortable in a bathroom. I do think. I don't like it. What do you mean? That should be the place where you're the most comfortable though, right? I mean. No, I'm the least comfortable. Are you talking about a public bathroom?

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yes. They meant like your own bathroom. No, no, no. No, public bathroom. I feel like people are too comfortable in it. And it's like.

What do you see them doing in there? I mean, just, I mean, just acting like they're at their house or like that no one exists and you're, you know, cause it, especially with men, cause men have got this like, kind of like, you're you know because especially with men because men have got this like kind of like you know this is what we're doing we're not who cares what we are right and you and you just have that like oh let's just be normal for two you know just you're gonna keep to yourself don't be a problem or don't be like you know you know i read a list of bathroom public bathroom etiquette most of them was just don't talk to anybody no matter what. Not at the sink, whatever.

Just get out before you talk. In and out. In and out. Yeah. Even if you know them, just don't talk to them while you're in there. Yeah. Now, which stall and which urinal do you think would be the cleanest? The middle one.

the middle one uh i'll tell you i think it'd be the the one closest to the entrance and the exit because i bet that i think i think i've looked into this at one point when you when you want privacy you're going to go as far away from the door as possible so i imagine that's going to be the dirtiest one and it's going to get cleaner the closer you get to the entrance. Yeah, I can see that closer. And that one's going to get clean the most. Yeah, it's the first one. Oh yeah. See, I would think the middle one, especially if there's three, I guess if there's three urinals, like you don't want to walk up to the middle one. No. So I would think that one would be the one that would get used the least. You know what's funny is like everybody listening to this this because you're going to mess me up too now.

Now I'm going to – because I would always go – I would go farthest away because I'm just trying to be in a corner. For a urinal or a – I mean everything. You're talking about a urinal? Both. Both. Anything and everything you're trying to just be –

because, I mean, when you're up there in the front, you're in the – The high traffic zone. You're in the mix-up. The mix-up. Yeah. But you're going to – for someone like me now, you're going to go to the public bathroom. Like, I'm going to end up being at the front of the urinal.

And I think a lot of people listening will end up – you just got in our head enough just saying that, that you're going to be at the first one. You're going to see a lot of, like, hello, folks, at the first urinal. You get it? Yeah. But I'm not really – And, hello, folks, at the first urinal. Oh, yeah. You get it. Yeah. But I'm not really. And then the guy goes, you're not supposed to talk in here.

You're not concerned about the cleanliness of a urinal, though, necessarily. You're not touching the urinal. Well, you will notice the cleanliness of the ground in front of the urinal, that kind of stuff. I mean, I've seen some nightmares, man nightmares man yeah i've seen some bad bathrooms would you say that was a an unsafe urinal i felt unsafe in the urinal before for sure what about bars i used to go to bars where they would just have troughs yeah i was like i hate the trough yeah i think that's still in europe i think they have a lot of them yeah i couldn't do it i hate the trough. Yeah. I think that's still in Europe. I think they have a lot of them. Yeah. I couldn't do it.

I hate the trough. Yeah. I don't, I just don't understand it. You're like, you know, I think Vanderbilt, but maybe these people don't have bathrooms for Royal toilet day. Cause there's people,

we haven't even moved from troughs. Yeah. So now that I think about it, I might be like, you know what? Maybe I'll give them money. Cause I don't know. Like that does make sense.

Cause it's not like, you know, every like a house has totos or whatever those fancy bath toilets are or whatever. It's like the ones that lift up. I think it's called a toe toe. I don't know that. It's the,

uh, uh, it's the, it's like a bidet and it's got like all kinds of toilets. Yeah. And it's like, it's automatic. Like you walk through the door and it's like automatic.

Oh, they open up for you. Yeah. I mean, some of them, you know, like they're, that one says it's got a tornado flush. I mean, that's what you got. What kind of flush you got? I got tornado flush. High power. Yeah.

I'm going to bookmark this real quick. Yeah. It's an unsafe toilet. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, it is. it's like that f4 that one on the left that one on the left it's uh with tornado flush uh elongated bidet yeah dual flush with tornado flush seat included that's good yeah yeah but it'll be like the thing will be heated it'll be when you walk up to it you would just wait. Have you ever wanted heated? Have you ever sat on one of those? I've been in a hotel.

I've been in a hotel that had them. It's not bad. A heated seat, though? It's nice. I like a heated if I know it's not heated by the person that was just in there before me. Well, what do you think is in there? They got just a guy. That's part of Toto's plan.

Yeah, it's like, come to the guy. That's part of Toto's plan. Come to the guy. You got to wipe me, walk in your own bathroom at home. You got to go. He gets up and goes, ready to go, chief. His legs are asleep all the time. I used to walk around. It's a guy warming it up in your own home.

That's how much money you got. That was probably the rich, maybe the queens of old times. They go, so I pay a guy to sit on the seat all day. They call him the John. Yeah, he sits on the John to warm it up. Maybe it comes from Thomas. I go, uh-huh. Thomas Crapper. Toto.

Tornado. I need that tornado flush Toto. Tom. Tom. Toto. Tornado. I need that tornado flush, man. Yeah. That's like, you're, you go, what's going on? You know what's going on. There's no, I mean, I bet the guy that walks in for a tornado flush, I bet they go, let's just show them the tornado flush. It's not even.

I bet people there's no toilets. I honestly think that they could see some walk up and they go, I'm not even going to introduce the like economical flush to this guy. No, no, no. This is like, hey, we mean, I mean business. It's like Kramer, the low flow shower. Yeah. The one for the circus elephants. Yeah.

Yeah. You just can't handle that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's, I mean, there's people that are like, I want it, you know. It's just so funny.

Is there an example of it flushing? I want it to sound like a train. A tornado flush? I don't know if we need to see an example.

I mean, I think it's, I think anything and everything is just a giant power gets knocked out. See the lights flicker in the neighborhood.

Aaron comes out, shakes his shoulders off of his, it's in the middle of the yard. It's a good day. You got a good day to vote by stretching out there in your yard. There you go. Yeah. That's why I got it away from the family. They don't need to see. I got two kids up there running around.

They don't need to be a part of what's going on down here. Well, you mentioned bidets. They're finally starting to take off in America, apparently. 6% of people already have bidets in their bathroom. What percentage? 6%. Oh, okay. I don't know anyone. That's about what I thought. Do you know someone who's had one people talk about them a lot and people are very uh arrogant about it yeah but they talk about that

thing because it's that it's got uh honestly where i heard it i remember like a long time ago i think hearing howard stern talk about having one and this was like forever ago that's the only reason i ever even heard about it and then i you see there could be some hotels that are nice that have that have them uh but it's it's like i think when he like people just it's heated it like when you walk up to it i mean it might both might raise up you know you can wave it you're not touching really you. You know, it's like, that's the whole, you know. Yeah. That's a good Christmas gift. A thousand bucks. A thousand bucks.

Tornado flush. Tornado you go. Oh, I appreciate it, man. But he goes, I didn't, I didn't do the tornado flush. It's just so expensive. You go, yeah, of course. And then you're like, that's all I wanted. You're like, all right, I guess I'll put it in my guest bathroom.

We're never going to use it because I need that power. Is there more power than a tornado flush? They have like a hurricane flush. Oh, man. Tornado is actually more powerful than I heard. Is it? Faster speeds. Well, New York's, I mean, because we had like in our apartment in New York,

the bathroom was like one you'd see at a public park. It has that metal pole that you kick with your foot. That was our normal bathroom. Oh, man. But those flush are unreal. Tankless. Is that what it is? Yours didn't have the thing

on the back, did it? Oh, no. It was tankless. Wow. Just noticed that. Yeah. Yeah, that's not that bad. That's the first thing I noticed when you come to your house. I'm like,

there's nothing back here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I never thought about that. That seems most efficient. Yeah. You hear some flushes and you're four blocks over.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, people are switching to bidets because they say it's more hygienic and it cuts down on toilet paper cost and just helps the environment. Toilet paper also, I've heard, has bad chemicals in it. And that part of your body is very absorbent.

So you take in these bad chemicals. What kind of bad chemicals? I don't know. Just dyes and bleaches. Well, dyes. It's just white, right? Do they dye it white? papers dyed white there's other yeah it's bleached oh can you get different color toilet paper well you can buy um uh bamboo toilet paper and it's not supposed to have that in there bamboo toilet paper what color is it it's still white but? It's still white, but it's...

Bamboosh white? Yeah. Yeah, it's a little off-white. Yeah. Maybe. 100% renewable and sustainable bamboo. I've been buying bamboo toilet paper. Biodegradable and plays well with most septic tanks.

That's a weird way of phrasing that. Yeah. You got a 50-50 shot. Yeah. If it plays well with septic tanks, You got a 50-50 shot. Yeah. If it plays well with septic tanks, like it's like being like. Yeah, it could be anything. It works, it not works. Yeah, it plays well with it.

Yeah. Yeah. I never even heard of this, Dusty. Do you do this, Dusty? Yeah. Not this brand, but yeah. Yeah, I mean, I got into it because I'm like, you know what? I'm trying to not take in a lot of

chemicals i don't know what's going on out here but i'm trying to be chemical free out here it says how does it feel and it says it feels much better on your conscience so that tells me it doesn't it's not as soft it's tough it's not as soft it's tough splinters not that hard i mean it's better than cheap toilet paper but it's yeah it's not like it's like the back of a loofah like yeah it's not the bottom like one that goes on your hand you're like it's not the bottom it feels like the back where you can still feel you can still tell that it's a loofah and you're like well that's not that comfortable you go yeah yeah but it's better than the other side that's what what their whole message is, is go, is it that bad?

You go, we're definitely happy we were not some other things. And you're like, okay. It's like healthy food where you're like, you're eating and you're like, I wish it tastes as good as unhealthy food, but it's better for me. It's that kind of thing where you're like, I wish this were chocolate. Well, I can't think of a good segue, but Nate, you want to tell us about Aura? Aura. Aura, we have one right here.

Can you hold it up? It's the perfect gift. It can be really hard sometimes. This is Aura Frames. This is a great gift for a lot of families and holidays coming up. Very clear picture. So, yeah, it's a great, like, you know, it just rotates. Laura's got, I think, two pictures in here.

We haven't loaded it up. But it's, you know, you know what's funny is I saw this today downstairs and I did. When Python. Yeah. So you go, you go to the urinal and then you're just looking at snake. And the snake smells with its tongue. So, you know, it loves it.

Yeah. And then the women's. I see his tongue go. He sees the guy go in the stall. You see him and he sucks his tongue up. Waits till he goes. And then the women's, it's a six-cotton-top tamarins, whatever that is, critically endangered primate species.

Yeah, it's really, really – it's an awesome – yeah, it is an awesome one. First time I go in there, too, you send someone in there. Everybody – you live in Nashville, you go to the National Zoo. National Zoo is a great zoo. But it's right before you – this bathroom specifically is right before you go through the entrance. Uh, so it's about a gift shop and you know, like when you would leave the gift shops right there.

But if you can tell someone to go in there, just follow them into the urinal and then just, uh, kind of keep them talking and then just like, don't really say anything. Cause I'm the first time I went in there or you could just let them go in there and see what happens. First time I went in there. I mean, I, I, I was like, Oh, like you just don't, I don't know that that's going to be there. So you just get, you know, you just kind of, you're looking down in the bathroom,

you go to the urinal and then you just kind of look up. And I mean, there's just a snake right there. And you're like, Oh gosh. When you right there and you're like oh gosh when you don't know it's very fun when you don't know especially at the zoo you think i don't think you want to be i don't think you want this you don't want to be listed on this thing i'd imagine what do you mean why i best bathroom yeah like i i think it's like i't know. You want a lot of people reading about where the best bathroom is? Like as an article? Maybe. I don't know.

Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know, man. It's good. In 2019, LaGuardia Airport was nominated for Best Restaurant in America. That's good to know. I know. That's what I mean. It's a slippery slope of like, it's good to know to then you're not, you know, then you fall off.

I get it. You almost don't want to tell people. How many of these people have been on multiple lists? Like, you know, are they doing it back to back to back to back? I mean, I think you're just going and you get pounded and you're like. Off 65 though, I think it's 65. There's a place that advertises best, that advertises best restroom on the interstate. So Bucky's does that too. Yes.

They get you in here and they get you to buy something. What did you say? That's what Bucky's does too. Yeah, but that's the point of VIM is you're advertising that to the driver. A lot of these airports, I can see it. Are you saying Bucky's and the New Museum of Contemporary Art in New York City have different business goals? Yes.

So I would think if you're in the New Museum of Contemporary Art, I'd think, which I guess you got to buy a ticket to get into that bathroom. So maybe they're like, yeah, that's enough to fend you off. But if any of this stuff is free to get into. Yeah, maybe the Natick Mall. Yeah, like the National Zoo yeah

you gotta buy a ticket to get in there not to use that bathroom well I don't yeah but I think they do charge you do have to pay your show

something to pay to park or something or yeah they charge you to park yeah yeah yeah yeah hmm yeah

um 75% people admit using their phones in the bathroom I think that's low that's so the other 25%

are in their 80s and 90s I thought you said met using their phones admit to using their phones they met I was like what?

well then you just say well that's why I think they say admit because they go it's 100% but would somebody be ashamed of doing that?

I think so and not admit to it? yeah I mean you gotta when people are getting asked questions, they're just coming out of a store. They're probably coming out of a stall. And someone's like, did you use your phone in the bathroom? That's how I picture these questions being asked. But you know what they say is polite. Aggressive.

If you're at dinner at a restaurant and you use the bathroom, it's polite to leave your phone at the table. Oh, yeah. So I try to do that. But now I notice everybody takes their phone with them you're gonna ruin you're gonna mess me up like you get these these are things that i can't get but i think i might need to get it out of my head to go live my life yeah get it yeah yeah i want to you know the idea of being polite about everything is over i think is it already sitting there or you take out your pocket let's say like it's on that because most people when they're at a restaurant the phone's just on the table i've noticed that

most people just sit on the table next to them and you see they get up and they use the bathroom they grab their phone and put it in their pocket and take it with them yeah because you want to get caught up with your real friends yeah yeah check in on the what i care about yeah well but yeah but if you're going i think it's if you come right back i don't think no one ever thinks about it i mean i think if you're gone for a half hour if you come for a good 25 30 minutes like appetizers they're cleaning the appetizers off like i think that probably put a little people at worry yeah so i think if you're if you're just going and then coming right back like you probably just grab your phone because you're

like i want someone to steal my phone or whatever reason. But even that's a knock on who you're with. You're eating with other people. Yeah, I know. I want you to take my phone while I'm gone. Well, are they going to watch your phone? It's not too much of an ask if you're at a table this big and you're just sitting there. Yeah, but I mean, if it's me and you and we're sitting there, but I mean, A, someone's probably not using their phone.

But if you're at a big group table at a restaurant where it's a little dark and you got your phone sitting there, someone could be like, where's my phone? You're like, I don't know, dude. Right. I didn't realize someone, and they just went and grabbed a $2,000 thing from someone. So you could be, I'll just keep it on me. Yeah, it's too valuable. But some of it, probably when you walk in, they're so valuable. I mean, they're so expensive. So now when you come back, you,

I think you do get it to check your, it's, it's probably polite to leave the table. You check, you know, you got any texts that you need to send or whatever. Then you go pay. You just don't be gone. But I think if you're gone where it's like, Well, see, that's when I, when I got to do that, I'd come back. It's like, sorry guys. I that's when I, I got to do that. I'd come back. It's like, sorry guys. I was on my phone the whole time.

That's what I want them to think. That was on my phone. I wouldn't do anything in there. Just on my phone. My bad. Standing at the urinal. Just, yeah.

Had business deals going on. I go, you should just walk back and go. It's noon in Sydney. Markets are open. Busiest day of the year for plumbers. I mentioned this before, day after Thanksgiving. Wow.

That's the grossest statistic ever. I know. I just see the plumber industry just like, ugh, they're stretching. They go, He goes, what are you going to do for Thanksgiving? I'm turning my phone off on Friday. They call it brown Friday. Do they?

Yeah, they do. But the number one reason is not even that. It's like food and chicken grease or turkey grease has been clogged down the garbage disposal. That's the number one reason plumbers are clogged. That's what I would tell the plumber on the phone. I poured chicken grease down the toilet.

And then they show up and you go, hey, while you're here. I would tell them that too. Toilet's clogged. Yeah, yeah. It's like the sink. I might have you look at one more thing. While I got you, dude. Only 80% of people

wash their hands after using the toilet. I get that. That seems high, right? Yeah. 30% say they only 30% use soap

and only 5% wash for the recommended 15 seconds. I think everybody would do hand sanitizer. Yeah. If you just said have hand sanitizer in there, everybody at public.

It's just like a sink. It's like there. You wait in line to do. It's like a whole thing. If you have those hand sanitizers, I mean, everybody, that's the easiest thing you could ever do in your world. And I use hand sanitizer all the time, like out in, uh, when you're out, it's,

I mean, so much easier, but I don't know. Is it meant to do the same thing with washing your hands? Does, I don't think they're meant to substitute for each other. I think they are. That kills 99% of the germs.

What else? If it's not, then it's been a lie. Hmm. What's it supposed to do? Just knock it back. Just rub it on your pants. What's the point of it? Just knock it back a little bit? I said just rub it on your pants. What's the point of it?

Kill the smell? But it feels like you're just rubbing things in. It's like lighting a candle where you're like, no, you still saw something went on. You lit a match. You go, well, something happened. I'm smelling a match. I never smelled it.

I don't smell a match anywhere in my life except right here. And then, so what happened in here? Nothing. I got an accident. He started a fire. I blew it out. Yeah.

All right. If anything, I put out a fire. Yeah. I mean, growing up, I remember growing up, you'd see,

I remember seeing that a lot match boxes on the bathroom. A lot. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's just a ton of match boxes in the bathroom. A lot. I mean, that's just a ton of those you would see. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Match still in the toilet. I've seen that. Oh, yeah.

I've seen that too. Yeah. Dusty, do you get a farmer's almanac? Yeah, I do have one. Well, I don't get it every time. I do have one right now. Does it have a little hole in it in the top left corner? I don't know.

Does it have a little hole in it in the top left corner? I don't know. Supposedly that's famous because people in outhouses would hang it up for reading purposes or use it for toilet paper. And they just, they started nailing it to the wall. So now the Farmer's Almanac just puts the hole in it so you don't have to nail it. Wow. Whoa. They still do it?

I mean, that's why I was asking Dusty because he's the only person I know to get a farmer's army. I did get one, but I don't remember if it had a hole or not. I can report back to you, but the podcast won't be out. Anybody have an opinion on the correct way to hang toilet paper? Yeah, over the front where it comes in, not over the back. Yes. I've never thought I would have an opinion about that, but it does bother me. You know where I saw that to do it? Was that TV show Mama that had that Mama's...

Mama's Family? Yeah. With the keywords? Yeah. I remember watching that episode as a kid. And she went on a thing, a rant about it. And she said, you're supposed to have a toilet paper hanging over the top, and that has stuck with me.

I think about that scene to this day. Come in the front so you can just kind of, yeah, it's so much better that way. I mean, it's just 75%. Yeah, I don't think it's even going to be a thing. I mean, it was just a line. It's just like a kind of throwaway moment. Yeah, do you know Mama's Family? Never heard of it.

Type in Mama's Family. I used to watch that a little bit. Oh, yeah. TV show? Yeah. Big for me be a thing. I mean, it was just a line. Just like a kind of throwaway moment. Yeah, do you know Mama's Family? Never heard of it. Type in Mama's Family. I used to watch that a little bit. Oh, yeah. TV show? Yeah. Big for me as a kid. Mama's Family. Yeah.

Vicki Lawrence as Mama. Mm-hmm. I remember they used to talk about her all the time. Oh, you know, they dressed her up to look older. Spinoff from the Carol Burnett show. Yeah, yeah. How about that? Renard got his what the from that show.

Did he really? Yeah. Wow. Oh about that? Renard got his what the from that show. Did he really? Yeah. Wow. Oh man. What's this? Renard's kind of catch for it. Renard Hersh's catch is what the? Yeah.

He says that. He said he got it from episode of Mama's Family. That would not have been the show, I guess. It says 75% over. To me, that seems low. I don't know anybody that likes it under. But Ann Landers, who's a vice columnist, said do it under. And she got more letters about it than any advice column she ever wrote.

15,000 letters. I don't think people like it under. I think that 25% don't even think about it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what I think. Which is probably how you should live. Here's the under position argument. Yeah, they probably what I think. Yeah. Which is probably how you should live. Here's the under-position argument. Yeah.

They probably enjoy that. Yeah. They're probably happier. They enjoy their life more. Yeah. The under-position argument is it's more tidy. Looks better than the over that way. Reduce the risk of a toddler or a pet, like a cat, unrolling the whole thing.

Yeah, that's true. That's actually- That's actually- That's a great argument. That's a better point than I thought it was going to be yeah maybe just don't let animals inside though that's a good way well i don't really think it's the animals i think it's i don't think of animals doing i think kids doing it but if you have a cat a cat get up there and okay i could see a cat but then uh yeah i mean, that's, I mean, you can see that's actually, you know. Cat, we just got, it just loves the toilet.

It just jumps in the toilet if you leave the bathroom open. It sits in? It jumps in there. It loves water. Which one? The one that Abigail found for us. Yeah, it loves water. It'll jump in the shower with you if you leave the bathroom door open.

It'll jump in the toilet. I thought they didn the bathroom door open. It'll jump in the toilet. I thought they didn't like to get wet. That's what's so odd about it. This thing loves water. If you leave the sink dripping, it'll jump in the sink and just stand under it. And we're giving it water to drink. It's dehydrated. It's not dehydrated.

We're giving it. You're drinking all the water. It's got all the water it wants in a bowl right there on the ground, but it'll just jump in the toilet. It doesn't lay in the bowl of water? No, it doesn't care about the bowl of water at all. It just wants the toilet water. What do you give a cat? Bowl?

Do you give them milk? No, not milk. Just water. Yeah, I've always been confused. If someone gave me a cat today and we didn't have this conversation. You might have given a milk? I might have. I would have probably looked up

what to give him. If you gave him milk, it'd probably be a good day for that cat. I bet they like it, but day to day, give it some water. Do you ever give him milk? Do you have two bowls? Or do they share a bowl? They share a bowl of water. Put food in different bowls for him.

But it's a mess at this point. They're eating each other's food. It's a real situation. It's tough to talk about. That's why you put that outhouse out in the yard. Yeah. Keep the cat out. So you can have some peace.

Peace and quiet. I can't hit all the ruckus in there, dude. Sad day of you going out to your yard, you've seen that cat in there and you're like, Oh, I can't go anywhere. Lucy. All right. Good.

Yeah. Uh, awesome. All right, everybody. Bathroom. We did, you know,

we did some work. We had to work at it. That was a pretty good. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. I mean, it did end up being,

I should have known a hundred percent toilet pretty much, but that's the fun stuff. That's head. That's headline news, right was fun. Yeah, I mean, it did end up being, I should have known 100% toilet pretty much, but that's the fun stuff. That's headline news right there. Yeah. All right. Thanksgiving's this week. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and hanging out with all your family.

That's the best thing you can do. I'm going to Evans after that, Atlanta, finishing the year out somewhere, and then, yeah, whatever. And then, yeah. Did I explain the breaks when I said I was taking a break? Everyone was very happy about it. They're very excited that you're taking some time off. Oh, okay.

No. I'm joking. I was trying to imply that they want you to stop. People get it well and i said that thing they got worried but like it wasn't it was it was literally i just got to build yeah some material i'm trying to take yeah i bet i could i don't know i want to see it's all getting you guys are coming so many shows it's getting crazy it's uh but i just need to be able to create the material is the is the is the thing it's hard to fight with your wife

when you're on the road i'm home this weekend yeah yeah thanksgiving yeah i'm on the road i care about my craft and stuff so uh i'm kidding uh this weekend i'm in appleton wisconsin at skyline comedy all right friday and saturday great club i'm going to new york city for thanksgiving and then i'm flying out day after appleton that's fun so if you're in the wisconsin area come see me and then i got a big run next week a bunch of different places so come see me well, I'm off this weekend too, but next weekend, CB Live in Arizona. And what is that? It's Phoenix, right? It's Phoenix, but it's a little...

Scottsdale. Scottsdale, yeah. Great place. And then I'll be Friday, Saturday, Sunday in Tempe at the Tempe Improv. So get some tickets. It'll be great. All right.

Happy Thanksgiving. We love you. I hope you have a great week and see you next week. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in.

Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland podcast.