The Nateland Podcast - 177: #177 Toys

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

This week, Nate is MIA so the guys are joined by friend and fellow comedian Jonnie W. to talk about toys. Aaron, Brian, Dusty, and Jonnie reminisce about their favorite Christmas gifts, discuss some of the greatest toys in history, and even play with a few of their toys during the podcast. ZocDoc - Zocdoc.com/Nate Go to Zocdoc.com/NATE and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. AG1 - drinkAG1.com/nate If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Go to drinkAG1.com/nate.  BetterHelp - BetterHelp.com/Nate This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. In the season of giving, give yourself what YOU need – with BetterHelp.Visit BetterHelp.com/NATE today to get 10% off your first month. Gametime - Gametime.co Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with Gametime. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code NATE for $20 off your first purchase.Terms apply.  Download Gametime today. Last minute tickets. Lowest Price. Guaranteed.

Hello folks and hey bear we are here in the Nate Land podcast studios joined as always by my friends Dusty Slay, Brian Bates, andate bargetzi is not here but in his absence we've brought an old pal of ours first time on the podcast but a longtime friend of the nateland family give it up for our buddy johnny w all right in the studio what's going on man that was a great intro thanks dude yeah you said that as if to say i'll take it from here no no it was a good good job your work is done i mean let's let johnny w get in here i'm sorry i know it's great to be here i you know what's funny is i have a lot of people who listen to my podcast or like my comedy but they always say like when are you gonna go on nateland like it's up to me i was like when i'm invited i don't

just like barge in i get told that from time to time. Yeah. From people. When are you going to be on? When are you going to be on Nate land? Yeah. People just not familiar. I think people think it's up. A lot of things are up to us in our career that are not up to us. Like I literally had some ask, when are you going to do a Netflix special?

Right. And I was like, I don't think you understand how net. Have you ever thought about saying no. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just waiting for them to get bigger. Yeah.

Have you ever thought about doing the rhyming? I thought about it. I just, you know. Yeah. Don't be afraid to just shoot an email and see what happens. I think I'm going to do. Give them my avails. I'm going to do Bridgestone next year, I think.

It was fun when we did it. Yeah, I'm just going to do it. You know, I'm just going to be like, hey, I'd like to. You remember me? Right. I'd like to do it again. You got your foot in the door. Yeah.

You're supposed to follow up. Yeah. Hey, I was there before. I'd like to come back.. You got your foot in the door. You're supposed to follow up. Hey, I was there before. I'd like to come back. Yeah. Return visit. You know, sometimes people will say to me, I like when you guest on the Nate Land podcast.

They'll say that to me. I go, all right, well. They missed the announcement. Yeah. We've been off for 100 episodes now. Well, you're fresh off the tour with Nate. Yeah, this is, he did a couple arenas, or he did a theater

in Savannah and then we did the Civic Coliseum in Knoxville, Tennessee, which is where I'm from. So, yeah, so that was a blast

and also terrifying. I don't know if you guys have ever done like shows with Nate in your hometown or whatever where you're just like, people are like,

you got it and they're all excited and you're like, this is gonna, this could be so fun or like, I'm gonna have all my high school friends be like, well, dude, you'll get them. Just keep plugging away.

Oh, yeah. I don't know that Nate's done Opelika before. Oh, that's true. Weren't you homeschooled? Well, I went. I feel like I see discrepancies here. Yeah, there's some holes in my story. I was homeschooled my last two years of high school.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh oh that's junior senior year no it's a it's complicated but yeah it's it was just like oh this is a way to get out of high school it's like four hours a day i just wanted to get out i was ready to be done and so after sophomore year you're like i'm done with high school well i was just like ready to like hit the fast forward button and launch myself into like real life. Yeah. It's more like a pause button though. Huh? It was a pause button for a long time, but now, you know, I've been, I've got some avails

out to the run. And so we'll see what happens. Do you ever hear that? That's the best. That's funny. I stepped on it. That was funny. Uh, that is the best time of your life.

High school is the best time of your life. It was not. That's true. I've heard it. I've heard it the people with like that are in their 40s they'll have like the tassel from their you know or like their i don't those aren't my people it that is sad though if it is was the best time of your life it's like not sad because i mean because it could have been really great yeah but if it just never improved

after that that's not good or you're still see me, those people that are still kind of playing by high school rules about friends. And you can see them like they're hazing in that same way. You go, this is just, you'd not mature. It's sad. So,

and I was the people they hazed. So you got out of there. That's sad for me. I was like, you made them the best, best time of their life. Yeah, I was.

They're like, remember when we gave that guy a swirly and made him go to homeschool? That's why you're worried about doing those shows with Nate. You're worried they're coming to the show. Yeah. We were wondering what happened to you after sophomore year. A swirly? That really happened?

No, I didn't get a swirly. I never gave a swirly. But they were going on. Swirlies were happening. That's not a myth. That's not an urban legend. I thought that was like a Disney invention. No. Kind of a caricature of a highirly. But they were going on. Swirlies were happening. That's not a myth. That's not an urban legend. I thought that was like a Disney invention. Kind of a caricature

of a high school bully. But a swirly's really happening. Swirlies are real. My school, they were stabbing people. Oh, that's a different. That's a stabby. That's an Alabama swirly right there. I got punched in the bathroom stall. Hey, what's an Alabama swirly? Well, you take a knife and you puncture someone.

Yeah. I got stabbed with a pencil and I got punched in the face in the bathroom stall before. Wow. This is a tough school. A number two pencil. I like to think it's a mechanical pencil. They can just keep adding. They keep going. They just keep.

That's a deep stabbing. One that you twist. It's an adjustable stabbing. They keep twisting. Just twist the knife. Hold on a second. I'm an adjustable stabbing. They keep twisting. Just twist the knife. Hold on a second. I'm not done. Stab it and then twist it. Just to borrow lead from a friend.

You gonna make out any of these filaments? Hang tight. I'll be right back. Well, it's good to have you here, man. Yeah, it's great to be here. Strap in, dude. This episode's gonna be a wild ride, dude. Okay. Looking forward to it. Yeah. It's a to have you here, man. Yeah, it's great to be here. Strap in, dude. This episode is going to be a wild ride, dude. Okay. Looking forward to it. Yeah.

It's a hot topic. You're at the wheel. I don't know if I'm a little self-conscious about it now. Why don't you go ahead and take it? I don't. You know, I don't. Where were you this weekend? What'd you do?

Oh, yeah. Where you been? Where you going? You know, I just flew in this morning. I flew home and picked up my kids and then brought them here. We've been sitting downstairs with my kids. And then I left them down there. Yeah.

It's strangers. No, I was in Phoenix. How long did it take to get comfortable doing that? What I just did? Yeah. I'm still not. Okay. You're still thinking about it?

Yeah. Yeah. But I feel fine about it. Okay. You consider Laura a stranger? No. No, I would not leave my kids with strangers. For sure.

Okay. Under any circumstance. No daycares or anything? You're never going to do the daycare thing? No. Yeah. No, I mean, as long as I have the ability to not do daycare, we won't be doing it. Will you homeschool? No. No. My parents are like, get out of here. No, I mean, as long as I have the ability to not do daycare, we won't be doing it. Will you homeschool?

No, no. My parents are like, get out of here. No, I mean, your kids. Oh, will I homeschool? Yeah. I don't know yet. I don't think Hannah wants to do it, but I don't want them to go to school. You said your parents are like, get out of here.

Oh, yeah. I'm about to be with you another eight hours a day that I need to. Yeah, I mean, I did some daycare, but I was also outside playing. I was in the woods and stuff. I was playing in a way that I can't ever see myself letting my kids play. Just the freedom. We were just gone. Just go wherever.

Until the street light comes on, even after. I don't want to see you until that street light. He didn't have streets. Certainly not lights. Be back by supperertime, right? My mom had a whistle. She could. Oh, okay.

Oh, man. She would get that whistle. You could hear that across the tree. And you could recognize it as her. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I never could do that whistle. I was so jealous of people that could do that whistle.

You can do it. No, I can't whistle in any way. I can't really whistle either. It skips a generation. That's what they say. Yeah, I can't really do it. Can you do it? Yeah, I'm doing it now.

Yeah, just breathe a little bit. It's a recessive gene. It's on the father's side. That's true. Just breathe through your nose. Yeah, I've whistled numerous times on this podcast. That's funny. But I was in Phoenix, Arizona.

On Thursday, I was in Phoenix, Arizona. I was in on Thursday. I was at CB Live, which the week I was there changed to Desert Range Improv. Desert Range. Oh, boy. Hey, Sam. Got a cameo. My son's coming, I think. She shut the door.

Just take a page out of Johnny's book. Hit the pause button. No, my wife's on the way. If you want to tell them, Hannah said she's on the way. I don't know. But you don't have to. I don't. But if you want to tell them.

But they changed it to Desert Range Improv. Desert Range. I had a Thursday night there. Really great. And then Dustin Nickerson was there on Friday and Saturday. And then I was at the Tempe Improv. Really great. I love that club.

So many people came out. Everybody's so nice. The people working at the club really remarked on how nice all of my fans were that came. Oh, that's good. They were like, this is some of the best shows that we've had. And I was like, what makes it good? And they were like, I don't know. The comedy's good, but you just have really nice audiences.

Oh, that's good. And I thought that was great. That is great. but you just have really nice audiences. Oh, it's a lot. And I thought that was great. That is great. You're not bringing in the riffraff. You never want to be that guy. Yeah. You never want to be the guy because I go to clubs and you say, who do you got coming up?

And they're like, it's going to be an annoying weekend. Yeah. I mean, I don't think that it's ever been like that for me. I think there were times where the club might be like, yeah, we're not going to make a lot of money this weekend, but he's nice. Super nice. Yeah. And yeah.

And I think that, you know, I've always been nice, but I think part of it is that I've done clubs for a long time where I've not really sold a lot of tickets. And it's like, you just feel like I'm just happy to be here. Right. You know? So you just kind of, so I think it's good to work your way up. That way you can stay humble.

Pay your dues. Yeah. I'm sorry. You were there. Dustin was there. John Chris was there. He was in Phoenix somewhere. Yeah.

Yeah. So, so I was going to say a Nate land trifecta, but Dustin never been on. So nevermind. Won't come on the podcast. Oh, look at that. Refuseecta, but Dustin never been on. So nevermind. Won't come on the podcast. Oh, look at that.

Refuse this. I beat Dustin on the podcast. It's a good instinct to just be nice. If you're like, if you, because I was in Albany, New York, the staff was like,

here's the green room. And if you guys want to smoke or anything, you just do it right in here in the green room. And I was like, I don't think. Sold 30 tickets. That guy came like, I don't think I've sold 30 tickets. That guy came in, uh,

was a nightmare, ruined the green room and he sold 30 tickets. So we made no money. So I've smoked in two green rooms and, uh, one, uh, cigars,

one at the Chicago Zanies. And I sold out all the shows. there you go. And they were like, yeah, you can, it was real cold outside. And they were like, yeah, shows. Oh, there you go. And they were like, yeah, you can, it was real cold outside. And they were like, yeah, you can just do it in here.

And I was like, all right, this feels good. Yeah. You know? Because if you don't do it inside, there's just a little fire escape right out there. And you're like,

I'm not staying out there for a whole cigar. Yeah. So it's like a privilege once you sell it. It's like Sharon Stone. She was hot enough in Basic Instinct.

She lights up the cigarette during the interrogation. Like, what are you going to do? Arrest me? Right. You were Sharon Stone of commerce of commerce exactly that's exactly right people call me that yeah yeah i've often thought that yeah yeah i was on the i'm on the uh christmas party circuit all right christmas time of year i made more in one hour than you losers made on weekends. That's probably true for me. That's probably true.

This is a good year, though. The way the calendar falls, usually the first two weekends in December are Christmas parties. And then by that third weekend, it's getting a little too close to Christmas. But this year, the way the calendar falls, we got three weekends in December. So, yeah, I'm putting in the swimming pool all right do you have christmas jokes brian you did some christmas material no i used to have one about do you wear a santa hat you sell it as a christmas show then you just do the same jokes in a santa hat hey i'm brian the elf it's the same show. People just go home sad.

You ruined Christmas. I had a joke in my early days about there was no room in the Holy Day Inn. Yeah. I wasn't sure what you were going for. Where are the shingle ladies at? I know. Yeah, I was trying to put you were going for. Where are the shingle ladies at? I know. Yeah, I was trying to do, I was trying to put together like some Christmas jokes

and then like have a, I'll pitch this to places for like, this is my Christmas. It's like 15 minutes of Christmas material. The one thing I did last year, I didn't do it any this year and I've got a couple left, so I may try it,

but it's almost like a play on Carnac, the great, you know, with the envelopes, but it's boxes that are pre-wrapped and I just hold one to my head and I have somebody from the audience read the slip that's inside with the, you know, the, the setup for the joke. And I have the punchline. I say the punchline. So like, I'll be like, I'll hold up one box and shake and I'll go goodwill hunting. And then they'll open the box and they'll say like, describe your last minute Christmas shopping. Oh, okay. Oh yeah.. That's a good book.

It's like the reverse. You have to learn to write in that format. You get it? Goodwill. Goodwill Hunting. Oh, yeah. That's interesting. That's the name of that movie.

I never really put it together like that. Because his name was Will Hunting. Yeah. And he was good. Yeah. But like Goodwill Hunting would be like, you go to Goodwill Hunting. And you're hunting for last minute Christmas.

Which you do. Yeah. Thank you. If you have to explain it, it's clearly a great joke. So I'm going to keep it in. I'm keeping it in the show. It took me a minute, but just because I don't get it doesn't mean.

No, no. It's got broad appeal. Just because a professional comedian didn't get it right away. No, I was more just impressed by it. Like that they actually named the movie Goodwill Hunting, but that is something you could be doing. Yeah. Goodwill Hunting. You might just be hunting for a good goodwill.

What if you found that movie in the bargain bin at Goodwill? Yeah. Wow. That's weird. It's like Inception. What if you found Inception next to... Okay, never mind. Yeah.

From Goodwill and the Goodwill. Yeah. While you were hunting. Yeah. Peace on earth, Goodwill hunting towards... At the holy day end. They were just hunting for wills. There you go. All right. A goodwill. Yeah, a goodwill. You're. At the holy day end. They were just hunting for wills. There you go.

All right. A goodwill. Yeah, a goodwill. You're like, I've never been in a will. Maybe you're like an estate attorney. If you're hunting for a goodwill, call me. You guys ever been in a will? Like Will Forte.

Have you been in a will? No, no one's ever willed me anything. No, my family's been pretty broke. I'll put you in my will, Dusty. Yeah, I'd like to. We're not. Anything of mine you'd like? You want any of my act?

What I'd like is, yeah, I would like a lot of your jokes. But I would like a, I'll take anybody's jokes, though. I will. Good, I got one about the Holy Day Inn. Oh, yeah. And Shingle Ladies. That one's up for grabs. Shingle Ladies, that one really turned up. Holy Day Inn.

We'll leave the light on for you. That was Motel Sex. Yeah. Motel, where were you at? Motel 8? eight now what did that joke you had you had one about uh what were the other five motel six i don't know what happened to the first five that was a hot joke for me at the time that was a good joke well i had a fun run through the carolinas north car, then South Carolina. And, uh, I do like one of them better. Oh, one of the States. You don't want to, you can probably guess. I was in, uh, Charlotte, North Carolina at the comedy zone.

And then I did the Greensboro comedy zone. And then we were in Greenville all weekend in South Carolina and then Charleston. And then we drove back through the night last night. I got in at about 6. AM. It was a very fun week. A lot of people came out. Thank you to everybody who came.

You were in Charleston. I was in Charleston. That's where I lived for a long time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Your old stomping ground. The house that Dusty built. Yeah.

I mean, the Sparrow was not really around when I was there. That's where you were at. So you had a choice to go to Hyman's or Fleet Landing. And you went for Fleet Landing. Yeah. Which is, you know, some would argue is a better restaurant. But I wanted you to go to Hyman's just so you could see what was going on. I know.

I've seen the outside of the building. And I thought about going in and just saying, you know, I know Dusty. That's what I did. Yeah. And did they know who Dusty was? Not at first. But then I found the woman, I guess Miss Hyman. Well, I don't know.

Older lady? I don't know who's there now. The legend of... Is there a Miss Hyman? She was the first one. Well, their mom, Phyllis, has passed away. So that would not have been her. How long ago?

It could have been Eli's wife, but I don't... Okay. She passed away a long time ago? Wouldn't it be great if it was the ghost of Ms. Hyman and haunting? She's been dead for four years. Scooby-Doo. On this very night. I think it's been a while, at least ten years.

Okay. Alright. Well, I went in there and there was an older lady. I think she had an accent. Named Rita? I don't know. Rita the Greta. She used to be there. She knew you. She knew you. She knew you. Describe her. She seemed like she had an accent.

What kind of accent? A Charleston? Not American. Like New York? No, no, no. Like New York? No, well, sure. Like a foreign accent.

Did you say I do declare a bunch of times? Was this foghorn leghorn? Be honest with us. Yeah. Well, now I'm questioning I think I may have just seen a ghost wow

that's pretty fun I thought I told you about this when I met her and you knew who it was but maybe not maybe it's Rita Rita the Greta

yeah anyway she knew you we talked a little bit and she said that she kind of kept up there's a busman too

I think that's Rita oh is that oh I started to say there there another guy like Gus the busman? Like everybody's got to play on their name. They give you jobs based on what rhymes with your name. There was a greeter named Rusty. I'm a big fan of Rusty. Nader the waiter. That's right.

That's how they do it. Sorry, this is how we do it here. We're not a very successful company. Yeah, you got to have a rhyme in there. But Charleston's fun. Yeah, I had some great shrimp and grits right on the water, Fleet Landing. I ate like one really good meal in every city. And then I goofed off later in the night.

But in terms of an actual meal, just one per city. We ate really good all weekend. So thank you for all the recommendations. Thank you. I like all those cities that you went to though. They're all fun. There's stuff going on everywhere. And one of the last shows at the Sparrow,

one of the last shows they're moving to a different location. Yeah. It's called wits end. Now it's going to be a kind of like a brick and mortar comedy club in, in Charleston. So that's exciting. Yeah. All right.

All right. What about you? What were you up to? Well, I did the shows with Nate, uh, in, uh,

yeah, in, uh, Knoxville, which that was great. And we had a day off too. So I got to kind of like goof around in Knoxville. You can see,

uh, my in-laws and stuff. Did anybody from your school come up to you after the show or anybody contact you? Yeah. Uh, I met, uh, a few school friends. They contacted me. We're like, Oh, we're going to you after the show or anybody contact you yeah uh i met a few school friends they contacted me we're like oh we're gonna be at the show and and then i was thinking

like okay well i'll let's see we'll see if they want to come down and like so there was time and so i went down to the front of the stage with like 30 minutes before showtime i was like i'm first i'm like i was very first on that 3 p.m. show. And so it's cool. 3 p.m.? Yeah, there was a 3 p.m. Wow. Yeah, he sold out a 3 p.m. arena show. That's really. He's doing well.

He's doing okay, this Nate. I don't care what you say. This guy, I doubted him too, but it's taken off in a way that I couldn't perceive. I don't understand it. That was what Graham K., one of the other openers he was he was trying to like hype me up and then he goes like you're gonna do he goes you know what these people are gonna love you he goes i don't get it i've never understood your appeal it confounds me i was like thanks and that was the last thing i heard before i went on stage but no uh no but i had a friend he came he came down to

the front of the stage and i went out like 30 i was like i gotta go on soon but it was great catching up and so it was cool he was like you look great you know and he looked great too so that was good i was able to go you look great too wasn't that whole thing of like thanks man yeah yeah no we both looked we all looked we've both had surprising glow ups i was really chubby you lost a ton of weight yeah i lost a ton of weight so he was like man you look great he's like yeah thanks you know so that was cool but i like to tell people like that that they look great when we both know they don't yeah and it's like saying great set to another comedian great set i go you look good too you just say you look them right now you look good too you

grit your teeth and say it you hope they're buying it you really get in there i like to really get in there yeah yeah i remember you said that once to me and i thought it was real yeah so this hurts well now you do look good though. Oh, thanks. Yeah. He didn't mean it then. Yeah. Yeah.

But you might need a ZocDoc. Oh, boy. Where are they? Or not. Well, listen, the thing about going to the doctor is, thanks to ZocDoc, it's harder than it looks doing a segue look all jokes aside we want to thank zocdoc because we can now find and book in-person or telemedicine appointments for medical or dental care that is helpful for people who are on the go or work different hours like we do have you ever been on the hunt for a new doctor and you ask everybody you know for the recommendation

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These docs have all been verified reviews from actual real patients, not bots. NateBarGetsy.com. First comment comes from Tristan Lee. He says, I know Nate's busy, but I'd rather he just not put an episode out if he isn't there. Well, sorry about that, Tristan. Thanks, Tristan, for your honesty. It's a job where I still got to listen to it.

Yeah, that's it, Tristan. You don't have to listen. I don't know if you're strapped down in a room or something. Trapped under something heavy? Yeah, you don't have to listen. I mean, I don't know what your thing is against comedy, but... Like clockwork orange things on his eyes

or whatever. Another one? No! I love this. This guy's like, I'm gonna comment this. Yeah. Man, Tristan seems like a guy we should all hang out with. Tristan Lee. Well, sorry about that, Tristan. Hope you are not listening to this one. He'll never know.

Brian Massey. Me and my wife had a blast at Aaron's show in Greenville. All right. Even though he stopped the show for two minutes begging for a towel. Okay. A few things to address here. Two minutes. I'd not known about that. I did not know about towel air.

Two minutes is a gross exaggeration. How long do you think? It's more like 45 seconds of me. I need a towel. So I get up there. It's cold outside. It was cold all weekend. All right.

So I step into the club. It feels fine. I get on stage within 30 seconds. I'm like, oh, no. Oh, no, dude. I'm drenched in sweat and I'm wiping it with the sleeve of my shirt. And then like this is becoming like i can tell they see me glistening on the stage right and i didn't have a sweat towel so i

go hey sorry could somebody just throw me a towel and then like some guy in the the front row gave me like a napkin and i was like well this feels i'll just wipe a cloth nap like not a cloth like a paper oh it's gonna leave little residual Lenties on your head. Yeah. So then somebody, the server was nice. They were like, they found one and they threw it up on stage and it was like a dishrag. Oh man. Well, they didn't have anything else, but they gave me a dishrag, uh, that was clean, but it just looks like a dishrag.

Yeah. And I wiped my forehead with it and you can could see all the dishrag dust in the light. It was a bit of a mess. But two minutes, it wasn't two minutes. Yeah, I mean, and the thing you could do is just berate the club. You just come hard at the club, and the audience wouldn't even think that you started the show. You just come hard at the club, and you go, what kind of club is this? There's not any towels in here.

I didn't know you were bringing that kind of energy. Yeah, they were maybe like, well, the last two guys didn't sweat. Yeah. I'm just like, well,

you know, I'm doing more physical up here. Well, thank you, Brian. Thank you for coming. Broadcast News. You ever seen that movie?

With Joe Rogan? No. Oh, that was News Radio. That was News Radio. What is Broadcast News? It's a movie about, from the 80s. Okay. About TV news. Yeah? It's a movie about, from the 80s.

Okay. About TV news. Yeah. It's a very good movie. Academy Award nominated. Albert Brooks is in it, and he gets to finally fill in on the anchor desk when the anchor's not there, and he immediately just breaks out into a sweat. Really? And as he's reading the news, water's dripping down his face.

During the first commercial break, they have to bring in a fresh shirt. He has to change. It's just a very funny scene. That's exactly what it was like. Later on, he's describing it because the other person's like, surely it didn't go that bad. Something had to go right. He goes, I lost six pounds. I might have lost six pounds during that set.

But I knew the rest of the show is that weekend. I brought a towel of my own up there. I do like that they said it took two minutes. And you go, oh, that's way too long. I do like that. They said it took two minutes and you go, Oh, that's way too long. It took 45 seconds. And then it took you two minutes to tell a story about it. Yeah.

I think they were being generous. Your account of the towels. Yeah. Half my set was trying to find 45 seconds. And then they gave me, they gave me a napkin and then a dish towel. I mean, there's a whole nightclub below this club. They couldn't find one towel that wasn't a dish towel.

No. Did you go downstairs to where that dance club is? No. That's where the green room's right over there. The floor, that's how we would come in each night was through there. The floor was so sticky. Yeah, it's a sticky. That you would like almost lose your shoes walking through there. If had flip-flops on you wouldn't make it only one show

on the the whole week was four shows there i didn't grieve only one show that nightclub kicked in oh yeah and as the end of my set and you just oh yeah and and it's like you're aligned it's like it's tough when you hear people having more fun. Having a better time. Did you have to reference it? Did you finally have to just? Oh, yeah. You had to be like, we all, I mean, everybody heard it.

It was a nightclub sharing a wall with the comedy club. The floor. You can feel it in the floor. Yeah. There was at the Nate show in the Coliseum, the first one on Friday night. I'm up there. And I was most nervous for that one because I just needed to get it under my belt because it was the first of three. And I was like, it's my hometown crowd. And I went second and they had these, the arena is so old.

They were having to heat it with these, those big forced air propane deals in the backstage. And they're pushing it through the old vents in the thing. Literally, that's what they were doing. So it took all day and they're still going. And old vents and the thing literally that's what they were doing so it took all day and they're still going and i'm hearing the hum of them backstage like surely these crowds hearing a little bit of this and so we're they're wondering around backstage and evidently somebody was back there in front of those one of those heaters one of the crew and leaned up against the fire alarm so the fire alarm went off for like half a second before he could shut it off during my set. And you can't.

I know people heard it. Right. It was doing this buzz thing. And I was like, is everybody hearing that or am I having a stroke? Oh, yeah. That's my kind of go-to line. Everybody see that light flicker? Am I having a stroke?

Yeah. And luckily it stopped right after I said that line. I was able to keep going. But if it had kept going, I don't have a backup line to the stroke line. And also you're like, that's my go-to, it's my closer. And at that point, you know, the place is being heated with propane tanks. I mean, there could be a fire. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing is what if it's an actual emergency? Yeah. That would have been. You're like, am I having a stroke or is this place burning down? Yeah. The one thing about the 3 p.m. show was there were people coming in late because there's traffic issues, which I was teasing. I was like, that's when you know you've reached a level in your career when your comedy causes traffic problems in a major city. Oh, yeah.

But we're at the 3 p.m. show and people just didn't give themselves enough time to get there. So the doors to the upper level were opening and light is flooding in when graham was on stage finally he just had to go like stop opening that door you're letting all the light in yeah and it got a laugh it was true it's like he was just also like hey cut it out because it was weird seeing it's like it was like that scene in raiders where the light comes in through the rod and he knows where to dig like it was like that beam coming down like an extra spotlight but it's on everybody's and everybody's eyes.

He's like, cut it out. Yeah, God giving you the light. Yeah, it was. That'd be tough. That's the best thing

about headlining a show. When I'm headlining a show and they're like, hey, do you want to hold because people are still coming in? I'm like, nah,

it doesn't affect me. Yeah, let's get the show going. The other guy's got to deal with this. Let them sweat it out. It'd be dark by the time I get up there. Your opener goes out there for eight people. Yeah.

Do whatever. People are still getting seated. Jared Cooper. I was on Auburn's 2010 National Championship team. That's amazing. That's Jared. A year later, I was visiting my hometown and walked into a store. A man I'd never met walked straight up to me and said,

I bet you're glad you won that national championship ring last year, huh? Not knowing that he was setting me up, I said, yes, sir. He replied, well, if you'd gone to Alabama, you'd have two rings right now. He turned around and walked away. If Auburn fans are poor winners, it's not exactly like our Bama neighbors set a great example for us. That's true. That's a funny story. That is true. And, you know, and maybe this, and I don't know Jared Cooper's situation here, but maybe this is much like how we started this podcast where it's like,

well, if you'd gone to Alabama, you know, who knows what kind of options Jared had. Jared picked a college. He got accepted. He's playing football. He wins a national championship. Yeah. college. He got accepted. He's playing football. He wins a national championship. And you win a ring and still here's some random Yahoo trying to bring you down out here. I don't like it. Because maybe if he- Tristan Lee is trying to bring that guy down out here.

Maybe it was Tristan Lee. It could have been your dad. We don't know. What do we know that if he had been on the Alabama team, maybe he's the thing, he's the reason they don't win the championship. Yeah, he's so bad that they don't know what do we know that like if he had been on the Alabama team maybe he's the thing he's the reason they don't win the championship yeah he's so bad that they don't win

maybe you don't know but if he can win a championship at Auburn he could have probably brought three rings to Alabama when I saw

the Music City Bowl announcement your mom was the first person I thought of my mom has already said she wants to get some tickets oh that's cool yeah who are they playing maryland oh it's interesting barn burner did she come it might be on tv did she come to nashville when they played

vanderbilt uh i don't think so okay no she's got season tickets to the home games okay and she will come to some away games but she tried to get i think she was i tried to see if anybody had some free tickets for that vanderbilt game yeah they were pretty pricey uh-huh i was like i was gonna get her some tickets and then i was like nah i don't know that's not the vanderbilt fans driving up the price i'll tell you that eric t peterson the The rule of the Midwest is if it's cooked inside the turkey, it's stuffing and can be pretty dangerous if undercooked. If it's baked on its own, it's dressing. And if anyone under the age of 60 offers to make it, they are assigned green bean casserole, the auburn of the Thanksgiving table. Oh, that's funny.

I like this. I like that joke i like everything about this except for the parentheses it can be pretty dangerous if undercooked you don't believe in that i just feel like you don't believe in undercooked like that was an unnecessary warning to us they just know that if you're going to put things in a carcass of a bird you're going to be pretty careful. Watch your steps, my friend. Make sure. But I do think he's right.

But I think there's more differences to it than that, I feel like. I don't know. Well, this is just in the Midwest. Yeah. People all over said this. But I feel like. It became a Twitter thing, like a trending topic of like arguing over dressing versus stuffing and what's better and what are the protocols. I saw it on Twitter this week. I just feel like stuffing is just a whole different thing altogether.

Dressing is, I got, I've been, people have been sending me dressing recipes. I'd like to bake a bunch of different dressings. Yeah. Have a taste off. Taste off. You gotta wait till Thanksgiving next year. I don't, see, I've always been, I've always wondered why we do that. Like dressing when done right is like the best of all the sides.

I think of stuffing as fluffy and dressing as wet. You can almost slice dressing like a cake. And why is it that dressing, you've not had good dressing? Yeah, I have. Because I'm just saying- It's the best of all the sides. No, dressing is the best of all the sides. Why can't we have it a little more often than once a year out here?

And what is eggnog? Feel free to make it for yourself. Eggnog is the opposite. Eggnog is once, like people get so excited about eggnog. I'm like, if it's so great, why can you only get it one month? I never have it. And I'll tell you why, because it's flavored mucus. That's the reason.

That is true. That we don't have it but one month a year. Flavored mucus. You know, interestingly, people say dairy gives your body more mucus. So you could really be onto something here. Yeah. You've cracked the code, Johnny. I am.

Sorry. Eggnog, not a sponsor. You could really be onto something. Okay. Jason Williams. Oh. You think it's the same Jason Williams? As?

The basketball player? Yeah. White chocolate? Mm-hmm. Might be. as the basketball player. White chocolate? Unfortunately, Thanksgiving dressing is now part of the Mandela effect now that we call

stovetop stuffing. That we now call stovetop stuffing. Mandela effects. No, stovetop stuffing is a real thing and so is dressing. Now, what's not a real thing is Stouffer's stoke top stuffing. I thought you were about to segue into an ad.

It did sound like you did it. What was not a real thing. I do like that he brings up the Mandela effect though. That's fun. But yeah, I still think, I just think the dressing's gone because the older, I mean,

I've been getting some recipes. People are saying it's still alive out here, but when your older relatives are gone, the good stuff's gone. They're taking it with them. They're taking it to the grave. Well, you got a lot of recipes. I mean, it was hard for me to find a comment

that you hadn't already commented back to. But it's important. I don't know why you can't use those though, even though I've commented. Well, you can. I just like a little element of. I mean, include my response. Just read back and forth. But don't you think part of it part of it too dusty is like the stuff you grew up with it's not like it's

gone it's just you grew up with a standard for dressing and so like somebody may make dressing that's their whatever their family heritage and you go that's not you call this dressing right because your mom put more sage or whatever in hers yeah you like chili people will argue about chili, but it's because they grew up with a certain chili. Right. Of course. That locks in. It's like it's in your brain. This is real chili.

You ain't got beans in your chili. Yeah. You freak out. The type of milk you grow up with, I think that's imprinted on people. For sure. And very few people venture out and try different stuff. Yeah. Try to give skim milk to somebody who drank whole milk as a kid.

Oh, yeah. They'll spit it in your face. This used to be a great country. Something like that. Skim milk. Yeah, I agree with that. But I also think that it's like, you know, it's like, so what happens is in the family, when the older relative is gone, other relatives try to replicate that to keep it going.

But it's not the same. It's like making a copy of a copy of a key. Yeah. But your kids will think that's the best. And when they're gone, they'll say, oh, we lost it. My kids will be like Aaron that don't even think dressing's good. Oh, man. These youngsters.

You can only hope. Wow. What do you eat for Thanksgiving that's so great that you can give up? Milky Ways. Well, look, I think green bean casserole gets an unfair treatment. Eric T. Peterson called it the Auburn of the Thanksgiving table. I mean, what does that even mean? Maybe he likes Auburn.

He's a big fan. I'm projecting a little bit onto that. Spring Whitney. I get what Dusty's saying about how the food tastes different than that the older people make. My dad has a theory that the cookware they have used to make the food in for years has something to do with how it tastes. Might be a crazy idea, but I thought it was an interesting theory. It's like asbestos. Yeah.

I think she's right, though. I think that's it. Tasting the carcinogens. But yeah, I mean, that could be it, too. I mean, you know know the old stuff was dangerous and there's an element to that yeah and nobody's using very few people are using cast iron yeah skillets and things that have been in the family for a hundred years like they used to yeah they throw them out they go these old pots you know i saw one thing i learned the other day you know because this is true for me brussels

sprouts i remember them as a kid they were horrible right they were like the the go-to example of bad right your kid won't eat this yeah right and now they're good at least i think but aren't they preparing them in like a way they're pan frying these things they're making them brussels sprouts have been genetically modified okay over the past couple decades to remove the bitterness for it all right so they don't taste like they used to so they taste better so we think well i've matured and i my tastes have been refined no but it's genetically different the current day brussel sprouts like a labradoodle it's just been they bred out all the bad stuff. And who knows if that's true, but I saw that online.

Probably all the health of Brussels sprouts was in the bitterness. Might have been. Now we're like, oh, this is delicious. And it's just poisoning us. GMOs running through our veins out here. I think modern day broccoli is a GMO. Like broccoli as we know it now is genetically modified. Wow.

Like I think old broccoli didn't look like that or taste like that. But they did a good job modifying it. I guess. But you've got to slather it in cheese to make it edible. Do you think that's true though? Or have you matured? I don't think I've matured. Because broccoli I didn't like as a kid

but there's a whole wide variety of things I wouldn't eat as a kid that I eat now. Maybe it's a little of both. Because, I mean, it's like. I think we've grown just from this episode. I've grown just since I've been here. 40 minutes in. Yeah.

We briefly mentioned the Mandela effect. You guys think everybody knows what that is? Well, you want to do a run through? Well, I'll just say. Break it down. If you don't, it's basically something you sure happened, right? But I think it's a collective misremembering that's right yeah not just you it's like mass hysteria but in like uh it's almost like pre-snopes pre-whatever before these sites could kind of like nope this is not

actually true yeah you just hear these things spread like one of the ones that i like is the bernstein bears is actually the Bernstein Bears. But everybody thinks it's Bernstein. See, I'm still with Bernstein. That it's not Stain. I know it's Bernstein. It was not Stain when I was growing up. It's Bernstein Bears.

That's the only one. That's the only one that really I'm like, nah, there's no way. What's to be gained exactly i don't know okay but that's just a mispronunciation of it that we they kind of took off there's some things that just like sinbad being in the genie movie right just never even am yeah yeah shazam which we've i mean maybe the big one for me is the monopoly guy having a monocle okay yeah that would be one of the main characteristics of the monopoly guy i agree with that as he having a monocle. Okay. Yeah. That would be one of the main characteristics of the Monopoly guy. I agree with that.

He has a monocle on his eye, but he never did. But for some reason, we all think that he did. One of my favorite ones that I just read about was that Ed McMahon was with Publishers Clearinghouse and gave out checks at people's houses. Yeah. He never did. He was with another Clearinghouse publisher publisher thing and they had a contest, but Ed McMahon was not publishers clearing house check guy. According to.

According to the mainstream media. Unpublished clearing house. Yeah. He was with. Much more. Yeah. It's called the Mandela effect because a lot of people think Nelson Mandela died in prison,

which he did not. According to. He got out not. According to reality. Yeah. So you think we're on a different timeline. Well, that's the idea, right? Is that we're in a different reality. And when did that happen? I forget the thing.

I've been trying to think of the thing, but there's a machine that was created in, I don't know. I can't. The Collider? Yeah, yeah, the Hydron Collider. The Atom Smasher. Yeah, and when they turned it on, it like, you know, and I'm not saying I believe this. I'm just saying this is what's being said.

That it, you know, it put us on a different reality. And we occasionally just glitch back and forth between. Well, we have memories because we're from that old reality. Well, that makes sense. So it's our memory, but in the current reality, that never existed. The other reality, like the main differences is like the Monopoly guy doesn't have a monocle on his eye. Well, it's not. Everything else is kind of the same.

It's not necessarily the main difference. It's just like those are differences. Okay. Things are different. We're pretty lucky those were the only. Well, it's one. Everything else is kind of the same. It's not necessarily the main difference. It's just like those are differences. Okay. You know, things are different. Yeah. We're pretty lucky those were the only. Well, as far as we know. Yeah.

I just want to say that in the other reality, I don't think the Genie movie opened well. I don't think. You don't think Sinbad did well? I don't think it was a hit. You think Shaq did a better job? Even in the alternate reality, I think it did. It bombed. Yeah.

I think Sinbad was great. I love Sinbad. I mean, Houseguest. Houseguest was strong. Phil Hartman, it's a great performance. Yeah. Chuck Yeager was a big deal in the other reality. Remember him?

I don't remember him, but I think in that other reality, some of these people from Instagram are from that reality. And they're like, Chuck Yeager? How do you not know Chuck Yeager? The amount of heat we've been taken for not knowing everything about Chuck Yeager's life is staggering. It's as if we've never read a history book.

It's like every history book that you buy, Chuck Yeager's on the front. And they're like, you don't know anything about history. This one guy, he goes, if you don't remember history you're doomed to repeat it and i go like uh i go you mean like uh breaking the sound barrier again he's like i said do you think we might break the sound barrier again he goes daily and i go so you would say remembering history in this case helped us repeat it and then he blocked me he did yeah

because that comment's still up i can see see it. He can't handle it. These people. He can't handle the hate. He went over the other reality. I've thought about it, and I have to. I think on some level, it is disrespectful of us. Oh, I agree. That we don't know about this guy who's never, ever referenced in the world, ever.

Yeah. And we were not taught about. A little disrespectful that we don't know his whole life story. Well, I'm sorry. I don't know him. I would wish I could have known Chuck better. Yeah.

I think Chuck would have liked hanging out with me. And I think just based on the name. Yeah. Dusty and Chuck. Chuck. Yeah. Chuck and Slay and Jaeger. Slay and Jaeger have spent some time together, though.

Jaeger bombs. You know what I mean? That's a different kind of barrier you broke. Yeah. Remember Steve Jaeger? The blood alcohol barrier. I've slept in some other realities. Yeah.

I think he was a catcher for the Dodgers. Oh, okay. Was he related to Chuck? I don't know. I don't know. Abby Wainwright. That's our old friend. I recognize't know. Abby Wainwright. That's her old friend. I recognize that name.

Abby Wainwright. I was thinking with all of the travel and performing you do, it must be hard to stay healthy this time of year. Do you have any specific things you try to do to stay healthy on the road? Have you had to perform while really sick? I'm going to let you guys take this one. This would be a great time for an AG1 ad read if we had one this week. That would be like, oh, you know what I mean? I think ZocDoc could have gone here, actually.

Tell us, Dusty. Do we? Oh, we do, don't we? Yeah. Boom. Oh, man. This is perfect. I wish I had known that this was my ad read.

Mandela effect. Obviously, Abby is not a big fan because if you start this, you'll go. If you're a big Nate Land fan, you know that we've been drinking AG1 for a couple of years. We all started drinking AG1 daily and really feel like we're doing something good to cover all our nutritional basis. That's because AG1 is a foundational nutrition supplement that supports your body's universal needs like gut optimization, stress management, and immune support. Abby, since 2010, AG1 has led the future of foundational nutrition, continuously refining their formula to create a smarter, better way to elevate your baseline health. Abby, I replaced my multivitamin with

AG1 because it picked out. I make sandwiches. I can go to the Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, get healthy stuff, at least what I hope is healthy, and eat healthy all weekend and maybe save a little money as opposed to eating unhealthy and saving no money. And you buy just the amount that you need for the week. If I don't use it, I bring it back with me. I put it in my bank. I got a lot of mustard. You've flown back with groceries? Oh, yeah. All the time? Yeah, I brought back. I'd be afraid mustard would explode over my sweat. I brought

back a block of cheese and a piece of a little bit of sourdough bread this weekend. In a suitcase? Yeah. All the time I do it. Oh, man. All right. That's what I do. What about you guys? What do you do to stay healthy out there? And you walk to the grocery store with no shirt on. Well, yeah. And when I'm in Florida, I do. That Oh, man. All right. That's what I do. What about you guys? What do you do to stay healthy out there? And you walk to the grocery store with no shirt on.

Well, yeah. And when I'm in Florida, I do. That's for sure. The only time I can remember getting sick was with Johnny. Yeah. We did a Nebraska run. Was that it? Yeah.

And I got sick on the road with him. Yeah. I was having to take care of Brian. Oh, geez. Yeah. He nursed me back to health. And some stuff happened I don't want to get into. But, you know, Johnny was very motherly. What was it? Food poisoning or was it?

It was like a sinus infection. Yeah, it was like. We went. Did we go to a clinic? Yeah, we did. We went to a walk-in clinic because I was like, fine. I was like, you need to go get a steroid shot or something. Steroid shots are unbelievable, dude.

Yeah, that's what I told him. I was like, you'll be able to get through. It'll give you like a big quick. They wouldn't give me one though. Oh, that's right. We found, we didn't find a clinic that was just willing to give a stranger. Yeah. The pack or whatever.

The Z pack. I used to go in when I've been sick on the road. I'll shop. I'll go to a clinic. Do you give steroid shots here? And if they say, no, we don't. Then I'll just go to the next one. I wonder if ZocDoc could help you just find a steroid shot. Like just narrow it down.

There's a dropdown menu just for steroid shot people. You know, I don't perform. She asked, have you ever had to perform while sick? And it's like, I feel like nowadays since COVID, nobody wants you to do that. But I have done it in the past. Like I did a show in DC one time. My shoes were so worn out that they were really thin at the bottom and it was raining. So my feet got wet and I performed in my socks and I was real hoarse.

I had lost my voice. Without shoes? No shoes. Yeah, just in my socks on stage. But the socks weren't wet? They were, but I didn't know what else to do. Is this the DC improv? No, no, no.

This was some other gig I put together. Your soles were so thin that socks got wet? Yeah. What kind of soles were so thin that they got, socks got wet? Yeah. What kind of soles were they? Well, they just worn out. Yeah. Worn out. All right.

It's hard to imagine rubber soles. And I did, yeah, I had poison oak like leading up to that. And I think maybe it knocked down my immune system. And then I got sick. That's what killed my dad. Yeah. Is it really? No.

Oh, yeah. But I got poison oak and I was taking baths with like apple cider vinegar trying to like really dry it up. And then I got sick and I was real hoarse and I was doing shows in my socks. Smelled like apple cider vinegar all weekend. But I pulled through. By the end of that trip, I was healthy and smelled like apple cider vinegar all week, but I pulled through by the end of that trip. I was, I was healthy and I was crushing it.

The audience suffered, but you made it. It was a wild run. I had the road with Jordan Jensen and Evan Burke. Oh, okay. I remember that run. I got real sunburned later.

Didn't you do an ice cream place in Opelika? Yeah. I remember that. I feel like you have to push through if you can on the road like you only get paid for jokes you tell like you can't just be like i don't feel it you gotta do it yeah it's your job but i've had shows where i go this is gonna be a problem i had one sinus infection one time and it was causing just this one eye to weep like i couldn't stop it from running wow and i was I was like, I can't, there's no way.

And every time I would like try, I just, I was, I was going to just blot it through the show. And when they said my name, I guess like the adrenaline of the show kicked in and it didn't the whole show. I was good. Did an hour. And then when the show ended, they go, we're going to go out to dinner. I go, oh, okay. I thought I'd be fine. It started running again. So the whole dinner, I'm just like trying not to be weird. Does anybody have a towel? The W stands for weeping. Johnny Weepin. Johnny Weepin.

Johnny Weepin. Yeah. I was asking. I was begging for it. That's my favorite part of that email, that you begged for a towel. I begged. Please. Mr. Scherver, please give me a towel.

No, I was just like, if somebody could throw me a towel, that'd be great. That's how I handle it. My favorite story about being sick on stage is Renard Hirsch, who's our buddy here in Nashville, was at the Stardome in Birmingham, and he was very sick to the point where he didn't think he wanted to do the show. But he's like, I need the money. They went out there, and he bombed so bad that his fever broke on stage.

He's drenched in sweat, but he gets off stage and he's like, I bombed so bad, but I actually feel way better. It's like when you throw up sometimes you feel better. That's what it was. He bombed himself to health. I had to bomb for 30 minutes just to get back to... And he did this

$25. That'd be a great science experiment like start on my heel yeah hook up you know those leads to somebody when they're sick and watch them do stand-up comedy to watch like how it affects just to see how the bodies handle it it's like what's happening now what about the time you had your wisdom teeth pulled and then you have something happen on stage yeah i thought i had dry sockets because i did not i did not do everything they tell you to do once you get your wisdom teeth taken out and i had shows in atlanta all weekend dude my my mouth was just i mean throbbing the whole show i was in pain all weekend it was it was that's the toughest weekend i've done two things are the worst kind of pain it's just it's in face. You can't. It reverberates throughout your whole skull.

My whole head was hurting. It was awful, dude. Yeah. Thanks for reminding me. Yeah. Good times. Next comment from River Heath. All right.

That's a strong name. That's kind of cool. Nate would love that. River Heath. I thought it would be River Health. That sounds like a hospital. Like a stage name. It's got to be a stage name.

No, River's a name. Okay. I know, but I'm saying River Heath. I thought it would be River Health. That sounds like a hospital. Like a stage name. It's got to be a stage name. No, River's a name. Okay. I know, but I'm saying River Heath. It just feels like a very Hollywood name. Like somebody chose it for you. River Phoenix. That's probably who you're thinking of. I'm not thinking of River.

I know River Phoenix. You're probably thinking of Heath Bar, too. No, you're probably right. Yeah. River Phoenix. And the Heath Bar. As a graduate student studying landscape architecture, I couldn't have been prouder

hearing about dusty's leaf obsession he gets it i really hope he actually films the process of composting the leaves putting down the compost then seeding it with wildflowers in the spring keep having a good time dusty yeah i got a lot of great ideas out here you know you gotta start paying attention to some of these ideas you'll'll be like, Dusty's right about a lot of them. You got to filter through some stuff. You posted some things about developing your property and things like that. Yeah, I got some new stuff coming up that I got some new plans. But I've not been filming the leaf stuff the way that I wanted to, but it's breaking down nicely.

I got a real thing going back there. Even the moles are into it. I got a real thing going back there. Even the moles are into it. Oh, okay. I think I'm bringing in so many worms because of this that the moles are like. And you want the moles. I don't want the moles. Oh, I see.

That doesn't sound desirable. No, I don't want them, but I think that. But they're into it anyway. But it's a good sign. The yard's in a good place. I think so, yeah. The moles are like, hey. They've got like a Yelp app.

Yeah, neighborhood thing. They're like, hey, the worms. They're on next door. Worms over here. Thisalt's are like, hey, they've got like a Yelp app. Yeah, neighborhood thing. They're on next door. Worms over here. This guy's backyard is unreal. I'm about to get them, though. I'm about to get them. Next hole is very good. Thank you. Luke Middleton. Middleton's a good name. I'm missing it. Kate Middleton.

I'm very tired today. It's okay. You just flew in with your cheese and your bread. That's true. That is true. Luke Middleton, who were each of your favorite comedians when you were growing up and being formed as future comedians? Good question. For me, I'd say the Dice Man.

For sure. That's who I tried to mimic when I first started. Well, I bet when you started, everybody was like, he's just kind of doing Dice Clay right now. You get a lot of that. You smoke a cigarette behind your neck. Take five minutes just to get into it. Yeah. Like a stretch.

Brian shows up to open my leather jacket and a cigarette. Oh, I would love to see that. There's still time. Yeah. I wonder as he's getting older, if Dice does special stretches. He has to see that. There's still time. Yeah. I wonder as he's getting older, like if Dice does like special stretches, he has to like keep himself. He's like, oh man, I had to have rotator cuff. His rotator cuff went out.

Tommy John's from smoking cigarettes. What if you did leather jacket and, but like you really did the nursery rhymes. The dirty nursery rhymes? No, they weren't dirty. You really did. Just did them. Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow.

Yeah. Hey! Brian Bates. Yeah. That's a good idea. Like a really wholesome Dice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wholesome Dice.

Even Breakfast Brian Bates. I mean, it's got that kind of Andrew Dice clay. What is a wholesome Dice? It's Yahtzee. You're Yahtzee. It's a wholesome. It's what the world needs right now. Andrew Dice clay. What is a wholesome Dice? It's Yahtzee. You're Yahtzee. It's a wholesome... It's what the world needs right now.

Andrew Yahtzee. Good stuff. Well, who was it for real? Or was it Dice? Did you watch Dice back in the day? I remember. Because he was a cultural phenomenon. I didn't grow up watching just a ton of stand-up comedy. I'm embarrassed to say some of the great comics, I didn't even know who they were until a ton of stand-up comedy. I'm embarrassed to say

some of the great comics, I didn't even know who they were until I got into stand-up comedy. I didn't know any of those people either. Well, you should be

embarrassed as well. But like Johnny knows, Johnny grew up on stand-up and he knows all, he watched Evening at the Improv and all that stuff. Oh man, I was, yeah. I would go to school

and like recite, like whoever was on Carson the night before, I would try to like rip Chuck Yeager to be on there as a panel guest. then some comic would come on that's doing the chuckle hut the next friday or whatever and i'd be like doing there are we talking like mort saw no no no i'm not that old just be like but i remember carson i remember staying up and watching like carson's monologue what's funny about benny i remember watching Jack Benny because when Nick at Night

first became a thing on Nickelodeon, they didn't have programming. There wasn't like a ton of children's programming. So at night they just run out because it was like, you can't do that on television and a few other shows. And then they would put on these old shows from the forties. So it'd be like Burns and Allen and the Jack Benny show. Honeymooners. The Honeymooners. So I was like an 11 year old. I was watching the Jack Benny show. Honeymooners. The Honeymooners. So I was like an 11 year old. I was watching the Jack Benny show. Wow.

And so it did kind of inform my sensibility. I remember knowing it was old. It was black and white. Yeah. But I remember thinking it was funny. Yeah. But I mean, yeah. Was that the ye olde wishing well?

Huh? Was that Jack Benny ye olde wishing well? I don't know. That bit? Maybe. Maybe. I remember watching like You Bet Your Life with Groucho Marx and The Word of the day and all that and groucho marx and yeah but it wasn't like that wasn't my i liked regan growing up like brian regan i think i still think he's the best it's

ever done i think brian regan's just the best but uh yeah i mean tim con i love tim conway like no he's a comedian but i mean saying like watching the carol burnett show like carol burnett was like royalty in my house and And it was so fun. Like watching something that the whole family could watch. I think that's kind of what Nate has tapped into that. Like all whole families can come to his show. And so you're going to sell five tickets. Two people might've gone to somebody else's show. The whole family comes to Nate's show and that's where I cause this traffic

problem. Yeah. He's still got to get a babysitter for my shows. You know what I mean? Oh, it gets edgy. They're not that dirty, but I would like you to get a babysitter. Your kid can be

there, but yeah. That's a great slogan to put at the bottom of the poster. Instead of PGG, just put like, look, they can come, but I would rather they not. Yeah. I like them, but I don't want to be ruining childhood. You don't have to explain what did you know, ruining, you know, childhood. You don't have to explain like,

what did that mean dad on the way home? But there's also, don't you feel like there's an instinct to kind of play to the, I feel like I would have an instinct to kind of modify the show in a way that they would understand things. Yeah. I mean, like I like to be clean,

but do adult comedy. Yeah. Like I'm talking to adults. Yeah. Yeah. I did a fundraiser at a high school not long ago and they were great it was for like uh it was for a high school women's sports team and the parents were in the back and the parents i thought were having a great time with me the girls on the team were in the front and they're like they didn't understand what i was

doing yeah and i was like god i'm old. I'm like going through my act. And it was the advice that I got was like, well, don't change what you're doing just so these 11 people in the front get what's going on. Yeah, I would say high school girls is not my main demographic. No, no, no, no, me either. I've been given that advice too before. Always either. By other comics. Just anybody.

No, like I've been given that advice before. Like if you go into a room and you go, well, I know these 11 friends who've seen my hour are going to be here. You feel this pressure to do a lot of new and comics. What do you don't do that? What are you doing? Like those other people are why you're here. You've got to do.

That's why I never changed my act. Yeah. That's the reason. I've never changed it. And your 11 friends, they don't want you to bomb. Right. That's true. It's weird for them if you bomb.

Unless they're comics. Then they'd like you to bomb a little bit. Best thing they've ever seen. The next comment comes from our old pal. Actually, I don't know if he is. But Derek Babb. It's he is, but Derek Babb. It's a fun name. Derek Babb.

Two B's. And when one would have sufficed. With two B's, it seems like you're more to the name. Yeah, it's too much. It's like short for Babylon. Maybe you're supposed to emphasize it more. Derek Babb. Yeah.

I use Dusty as a test for my personal philosophy. Oh boy. If I fully agree with something he says, I take that as a cue to reflect on my belief. Oh wow. I've never agreed more with something in this podcast than when he said I prefer hand washing over

sanitizer, but think both are overrated. Yeah. Well, Derek gets it. You know what I mean? You just scrub dried leaves on are overrated. Yeah. There you go. Well, Derek gets it. You know what I mean? You just scrub dried leaves on your hands now. Yeah. Get some organic matter on there, you know? But it's like, I fully agree what he says. I take it as a cue to reflect on my belief.

That's what we should all be doing. Right. Question everything. You hear some information and then do some questioning. You know, you don't have to agree or disagree. You just go, how does this influence how I think? You know what I mean? I don't think he meant it in that way, but that is.

Yeah, that's right. We should do that. All right. Alyssa Delory. Alyssa Delory. About 10 years ago, I had a habit of going to Taco Bell a couple times a week for the Crunchwrap Supreme and a Baja Blast. One time, I ordered something different.

When I pulled up to the window, the worker commented about me not getting my usual. Yeah, that's right. I was mortified. I found out that day that I was a regular at a fast food place. Needless to say, I took a long break from going to Taco Bell. That's very funny. It's like when Norm walks into Cheers and they all say Norm. She had a Norm experience.

Taco Bell, yeah. Yeah, that's even why she's saying it. Because last week, Aaron threw out, would you like to have a place that knew you like Norm? Everybody knows your name. Yeah, yeah. They're always glad you came. There's a real appeal to that for me to be a regular somewhere. I read a story a long time ago about a woman who ordered dominoes,

uh, every day for years. And then the old lady, she'd order dominoes every day. And then one day they didn't get an order from her. And so they went and checked on her and she had fallen down in her kitchen. Wow. And they saved her life because she didn't order Domino's that day. Wow. So that's what I'm trying to get. I like it. That was years ago though. Ain't nobody doing

that at Domino's. No, they're phoning it in over there now. It's all bots. Yeah, it's delivered by robots. A little robot comes over. Welfare check. Well, you're kind of a regular zanies i mean that's kind of oh yeah i guess so yeah i guess you're stomping yeah yeah but do they know and they know what you want to eat like the the person who comes back through here they go you want this again tonight they know you're they go sugar-free red bull or they go cheese fries diet No, not anymore. Come on. Look, that was there for the taking. I understand why you went, but I don't eat there that often. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Because there's all that. The green room. I got to say, the more I'm on the road, the more I'm like, this ain't these green rooms. It's top notch. Top notch. There's so much stuff in there.

There is a gas station cooler in the green room full of drinks. I know. Yeah. It's unbelievable. It in there. There is a gas station cooler in the green room full of drinks. I know. It's unbelievable. It's crazy. Yeah. And you go to some green rooms and you're like just praying to get a bottle of water. Yeah. You know who else has good green rooms?

Those Bark Entertainment rooms. It does sound like it. They do. I was trying to think of the name, but yeah, they do have good green rooms too. Everything you say sounds like a segue. I almost tricked myself. Game time. Okay.

But Bark Entertainment. They do. They have those individual cabinets sometimes with all the candy, and it's just a good time. Yeah, the Tacoma one, they had a coffee table that you lift up. I mean, I ate so many Chips Ahoy cookies, I got sick. I don't know if it was the Chips Ahoy, but I got sick after that weekend. Did you do the shows barefoot?

I will. You know I will. Last comment of the day is from Rob Hatchet, one of my favorite books. The Rob? What? Hatchet. It's my generation. It's a children's book.

It's called Hatchet? Yeah, it's called Hatchet. Okay's my generation. It's a children's book. It's called Hatchet? Yeah, it's called Hatchet. Okay. Feels made up. Is it a horror book? It's about a kid who survives a plane crash in the woods, if I remember correctly, with a hatchet. No, it's not. It's about survival.

He eats the... It's not Lord of the Flies. It's just one kid, if I remember right. Anyway, Rob Hatchett. You probably wrote the book. My wife and I just got our tickets to Aaron's show in Chattanooga on December 9th. All right. How about that?

I'm at the Comedy Catch all weekend, December 7th through 9th. I love the Comedy Catch. We are pumped that this show will mean we hit the 2023 Nateland Grand Slam, meaning we've seen all four guys headline this year. Y'all talk so much about sports. How about a yearly Grand Slam club? That's awesome.

Like when you eat the 72 ounce steak, you get your picture on the wall. We should. We should do that. If you give us a picture, we'll find a place. This is Nate's house, so it's tough for us to make that call. There's some room up here still. He doesn't look around here.

We can put whatever we want in these. No, he never knows. No. Yeah, we could put it behind. Yeah, let's do it. Like a Polaroid? We should get a... If you've taken a picture with all of us and you put it in the frame.

You can prove it. You put it in the frame, send it to us. We'll put it somewhere in this house. Not necessarily the studio. We'll hide it somewhere. Yeah. That's a good idea. Well, hey, you're going to have fun in Chattanooga because that's a good club.

Great time. And I haven't been there in a while. Not a strong green room presence there at the Comedy Club. No, but I'm excited to be there. The club's great, though. The club's awesome. Danielle and everybody there is great. And for me, it's never an issue because there's plenty of room in the back.

You can just hang out, wander around. I may have told this story, but the last time I went and headlined, Michael Alfano, Danielle's father who owns the club, comes over to me and I'm thinking, this guy is going to give me the respect I've always longed for. And he was like, hey, could you get up? We need to sit these people here.

And all he wanted me to do was move seats. That was the only thing he said to me all weekend. That's great because they needed to... They needed room. But I was sitting on the front row.

So... In retrospect, it was probably unprofessional of me. But I didn't know. The last show I did, there was nobody on the front row. Oh, that's great. He might not have even known you were the headliner. Probably not. Probably not.

But this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right. If you're like Derek Babb and get your philosophy in life from Dusty, you may need BetterHelp. Whether or not your family gives gifts during the holidays, you get to define how you give to yourself. And the holidays are a great time to do that. So whether it's by starting therapy, going easier on yourself during the tough moments, we all need that that or treating yourself to a day of complete rest i get plenty of those remember to give yourself some love this holiday season this says host elaborate on this or co-host showing in on the conversation i wasn't supposed to read that out loud anybody want to say anything about how

we oh keep going i'll chime in all right right. I mean, better help is great. If you're thinking of starting best help, I think they should have called it that. That's different. That's the, that's their competitor. Oh, okay.

Yeah. If you're thinking about starting therapy, give better help a try. They offer a network of licensed, accredited, experienced therapists who can help you with a range of issues, including depression, anxiety,

relationships, trauma, grief, and more. It was one of the, the kids on the bus. Oh, wow. And, anxiety, relationships, trauma, grief, and more. It was one of the kids on the bus. Oh, wow. And so we talked about how that could have been me and blah, blah, blah. Well, there was a woman, local woman who was one of the kids.

So in the 1970s, a school bus full of kids got kidnapped, hijacked, and they buried them alive in a rock quarry. And for ransom, the the kids they all lived the kids dug their way out with a hatchet with rob hatchett and uh and they all survived oh wow um why is this not already five movies i think it has been this is incredible um it's just oh he's looking at patch but anyway uh so yeah it's a crazy story but my uh i i wanted to let you know that they lived oh yeah i was like where are we going brian was dragging it out yeah i was like i don't he was burying the lead because we all knew they lived yeah but he's breaking it i've never heard this story let me tell you some tragedy yeah yeah yeah

he's like this kid's got kidnapped. They were buried alive. And your mouth gets open further and further. Well, I like to do the setup and then boom. But anyway, so that's the story. Well, I'm glad the kids are. He stepped on my punchline. So you're saying there was an interview with some of those people that were the kids? Yeah.

Singing Anne has a documentary out now. Chow Chow. But one of the women lives here now. Oh. So she may need better help. let's get her on the pod. Better help. All right. All right.

Was there anything else we needed to cover before we get to have the Bigfoot guy back on the podcast? Now that Dusty's with us. Yeah. Somebody asked just recently for him to come back. Very early. Our first ever guest on this podcast, Johnny, was. No, not the first.

John Augustine was the first. Well, the first one I really delivered was. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. John's our friend. I didn't realize that was beforehand. Yeah. Okay.

The first one where you're like, well, this is a guy brought in for what we're. Yeah. It's like bringing in Jack Hanna with the animals and stuff on the. Really? I'm sorry to interrupt. Really? The only time we've ever tried to bring in someone who wasn't just a close friend of Nate's. Yes.

Before today. That's why it felt different from. Now we're trying it again. Just an outsider. Amazing. That's great. Thank you. I feel so loved.

Yeah. Sorry, go ahead. Because what was his connection again? He worked with Abigail or something? Yeah. Okay. Used to work with her. Yeah, and he got into some stuff, and that was pretty early on in the podcast. And he's a believer, full on.

Big time believer. I forgot to read that article that someone sent us about Bigfoot. Bigfoot being demon? Yeah, I wanted to read it, but I was really hoping it would be a video. Sure. Is it just one Bigfoot or is it like Bigfoot meaning the species

of Bigfoot? I didn't even get into See, this is why we need to get Kevin Jada back from the pod. If Chuck Yeager had a video, Dusty would be all about it. That's right.

Yeah. He never came across my YouTube. No. The algo hasn't found Chuck Yeager and connected you two. And I've been into

a lot of space stuff. People going fast. Well, he didn't get that high. Yeah. I don't know. You're saying the next time one of us is not here, we need to have Kevin Jada so he can meet Dusty. I think so. Or if I'm not here or you're not or something.

Yeah. So I'm saying one of us. Yeah. All right. Maybe Nate. Yeah. Maybe Nate. I think it's just honestly just a one-on-one episode with Dusty.

None of us need to be here. It would be unbelievable. I'm into that. It's like the Frost-Nixon interview. It would just be riveting television. Yeah. I would watch that video, then a Jaeger video. Was there anything else?

No. What are we talking about today? Sleep. We're talking about toys. All right. Christmas time is perfect. Yeah, exactly. Did you have a favorite Christmas toy?

The one that you remember that really stood out to you? I remember when my older brother got the original Game Boy from Santa. Oh, yeah. That was a big deal. Yeah. A big deal to see. It was the first handheld video game that we had ever seen. It was unbelievable. Then they just called it a Game Boy,

right? It was the original Game Boy. I know, but you weren't saying, wow, an original Game Boy. Yeah. Right? It's like World War I was not called World War I. They didn't know, hey, we're going to have a bunch of these coming around the bend.

You're like, original Game Boy. In 20 years, we'll be talking about this. You know, that's actually a random memory. Did you guys ever read Encyclopedia Brown books? Yeah. Remember? Remember this? Nancy Drew or-

Uh-huh. Hardy Boys? Hardy Boys? Yeah, yeah. I had a couple. There's a TikTok video. I looked at it. Encyclopedia Brown was a story.

The Hardy Boys had a TikTok channel. Man. Yeah. He was a genius, and his father was a police officer, and he would help his father solve crimes. He was like a Sherlock Holmes. Yeah. He was a genius kid. Most of it were crimes among the kids.

Yeah. Anyway, one of them was this guy tried to sell a sword, a Civil War sword that was inscribed like this sword is from the first battle of Bull Run. And then the solution to this case was they wouldn't have called it the first battle of Bull Run before the second. They didn't know there was going to be a second one. Isn't that fun? Yeah.

That's the same thing that just happened. It's amazing. That is amazing. I was thinking when you started it, I was like, I'll never read Encyclopedia Brown. But now, I may order some on Amazon. Hopefully, it's there by the time I get home. They're great for winter. They were great books.

They were good books. they were like puzzles you had to solve well and it made you feel like as a kid like we can do stuff if i'm a smart kid i can hang with adults and be smart and impressive to adults oh yeah you know he was an entrepreneur too he had a little booth he'd be like i'll solve your crime for five cents you also learned police can't do anything without their kids yeah that's right's right. What does a police- Who's out here? He's supposed to, I mean, he's just not going to use his genius kid to help. Yeah.

He might as well. No, I like it. That does sound fun. Okay. I'm just- All right. Anti-books. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll let you know there's a video of it I'll send to you. Do you have a favorite toy? It's like one Christmas, remember? Wow, I got that. I had a, you know, I don't know if I told this Christmas story on here, but I, you know, my mom got me a PlayStation one year when the first year of the PlayStation. The original PlayStation. The original PlayStation.

Yeah. And I had a Super Nintendo, you know, and we lived in a trailer, right? And I wanted a PlayStation, but it was like 300 bucks. I mean, it was a big deal. but it was like 300 bucks. I mean, it was a big deal. So my mom wrote me this note and then gave me a present like a week early. And I opened it up and it was two Super Nintendo games.

And my mom had written me this note about how, oh, I know you really wanted the PlayStation, but I couldn't afford it this year. So I hope that you'll like these games. Oh, she's hamming it up yeah it's great so then on christmas i open up my present and she's gotten me the playstation so it was like she really manipulated my emotions yeah for a gag it's for yeah it's trauma it's trauma to film me getting really excited about the playstation well that's a core memory and also better help you guys yeah so i had it was very exciting yeah so i had also what you think was

in there like some napkins i didn't know i mean my mom really dish towel i mean i played the games you know one of them was like zombies ate my neighbors and the other was like wario's woods i hated wario but zombies ateors, actually a very fun game. Yeah. But the, so the same year, you know, I had divorced parents and my dad was married to a lady and she had a couple of kids and, you know, my stepbrother wanted a Sega Genesis, even though that was phasing out. We were getting into PlayStation World. world. He wanted a Sega.

So I told my dad, I wanted a PlayStation. He told them he wanted a Sega. So, you know, the game boxes are about the same size. So on Christmas, you know, my stepbrother opens his gift. It's a Sega. I've got a box similar size. So I'm like, this is exciting. I opened it up, also a Sega. And my stepmom had told my dad that they decided that the PlayStations weren't going to work out because people were scratching the games. So they got me a Sega instead, which was- Cartridges. They wanted to stay with cartridges. Which was very disappointing. You have to stay with cartridges, which was very disappointing

to blow into and stuff. Yeah. So we, I didn't open the Sega, took the Sega back to my mom's house. Me and my mom took the Sega back to Walmart, traded it in two PlayStation games. And did the other parent ever know? Now they never know. I mean, I, hopefully my dad doesn't watch this podcast, but is he still married to her? No, no, they're divorced. I mean, hopefully my dad doesn't watch this podcast. Wow. Is he still married to her? No, no, they're divorced. Oh, we're safe then. And, you know, they got divorced later that next year. And by next Christmas, my dad bought me a PlayStation.

Wow. Yeah. You're getting there. It is interesting, like, parents having to do that math in their head of, like, which of these formats is going to be a long-term. Because you do have to do it. Yeah. Like, I remember there was, like, what was do have to do it yeah like i remember there was like

uh what was their blu-ray and then there was a hdvbd and one of them was like cheaper to produce but one was sony and like the sony branding was just too yeah like vhs like beta hi-fi when i was a kid you had beta hi-fi which was better quality audio and the smaller cassettes and the machines were just a little more expensive and and the the technology was better though and but vhs took off and so there were people i knew in my neighbor that had a beta machine and i always imagine like if i ever met like a bitter person i said that guy bought beta i would say it i would think about they bought beta it's they never got over that trauma of buying the wrong form, being stuck with all this stuff.

Right. I had a Sega before it went to Genesis. I had an original Sega console, and then they stopped making them. So I was just stuck with this thing with no new cartridges. Yeah. I never went down the Sega route. I was a Nintendo guy. I feel like my neighborhood, the trailer park, you were Sega or

Nintendo. I don't even remember Sega before it was Genesis. I didn't even know that was a different thing. I had an Atari. Yeah, I had an Atari. That was my first game console. Well, that's original. Brian and I were the old heads in the rest. It was Atari, Nintendo.

What are you, 51? I feel like it was 2600 or something. No, I'm saying you're 51, right? No, I'm not saying, was it an Atari 51? Yeah, they were really old. I'm 52. Okay, yes.

I'm 49. So yeah, that was my Atari 2600. Yeah, I'm sorry, you guys. The Atari 2600. It's fun to react. The game of like the tanks, like each corner of the screen shooting a single bullet at each other. Oh, yeah. You go to the tanks, each corner of the screen shooting a single bullet

at each other. You go to the bathroom with one button. It's great. A lot of people say that's when video games were most pure. I think Super Nintendo was the best. Super Nintendo is where it peaked. N64 stood the test of time. That's still, because the graphics,

my theory is the graphics weren't meant to look super realistic they're all kind of cartoony they've aged super well they're still very playable nobody plays an original playstation anymore nobody plays a ps2 you can tell they were trying it just looks lame they're trying to make it look too real yeah yeah there's a couple exceptions like uh goldeneye looks horrendous if you look at it now. Also, the new TVs. Putting the old games on new TVs is really bad. My uncle still has one of those old box TVs.

The rear projection TV. The heavy tube television. Deep TV. It's not 16x9. It's 4x3. It takes two people to move. At Thanksgiving, when we watch football, the quarterback drops back to pass and he just leaves the

screen. And then you see a ball zip across the screen, but you don't see the receiver because it leaves the screen. It's like Speedy Gonzalez when he used to play tennis with himself. Just go side to side across the ping pong table or whatever. Yeah. That's funny.

Johnny, what about you? Yeah, I remember getting an Atari. I i remember like for some reason this is gonna make me sound old i remember getting a stretch arm strong though where you pull the arms oh do you remember getting one of those yeah is it like he's like yeah he's full of goo yeah so there's a breaking point where this red liquid comes out you're like all right my toy is yeah that got introduced in 1976 yeah so i was 74 i was born in 74 so they were still popular when i was you know seven or eight yeah i remember getting one of those stretcher was this who was this guy was he a superhero or was it just like this i can't remember if he had like lore about him like if there was a backstory but do we need that back then it was was just like, Hey, this guy's stretchy.

He's stretch Armstrong. We didn't need like a universe that he lived in. Just pull his arms. I guess you're right. Yeah. Maybe he did, but I just think like now they would need like, what is the cartoon going to be about now?

It's just back then. It was just like, he's stretchy. And then like four guys in a table were like, he'll be, we'll call him stretch Armstrong. Originally. The prototype was a sumo wrestler that would stretch.

But he was too bulky and large. So the all-American body was cast. And maybe it was more material in him. They're like, the price point of this has got to be. And they knew sumo wrestlers weren't that flexible. Yeah. And will a kid play with a fat doll? Yeah.

That's another thing. Losing some realism, yeah. Would parents have been like, I'm not giving my kid this fat doll to play with? Or just pushing on it like a potato? Nowadays, he's just a regular-sized guy. What would Stretch Armstrong have been if he was a... What would it have been?

Like, Fats McGee? What would he have been? What would that have been? Fats McGee would be great. That's a great toy. It still has to be some kind of stretch reference. Yeah. Slabs McGee.

Skinfolds LaRue. Like he's got a, something's up with him. You guys want to guess what the first toys were? Sticks. A wheel. Lincoln Log's probably one. Lincoln Log. Yeah. Well, it doesn't predate Lincoln. We know's probably one. Lincoln Log. Yeah.

Well, it doesn't predate Lincoln. We know that. Oh, I don't know. Did you guys figure that out? Well, it's after Sticks and Wheel, but before Lincoln Log. A paddle ball? Was that? Jacks.

With a bouncy ball. I'm talking about. Jacks. I haven't heard Jacks. 2600 BC. A marble. Oh, okay. Marbles was one of the first.

Yeah. Fire. Just the kids being like, hey, this is fun. And then you- Again, you guys are going back a little too far. Anybody got some gauze? You guys are going back either the beginning of the time or 30 years ago. Okay.

Just a doll. I'm sure there were dolls. Dolls were one of the first. Yo-yo? A yo-yo's that old? Yeah. When was a yo-yo invented? 500 BC.

Oh, man. I wonder if they thought it was like... I want to guess the 70s. I wonder if they thought it was like witchcraft, like the kinetic energy of the thing bouncing back up and re-rolling itself. I wonder if they thought it was... I'm not buying that. 500 BC for a Yo-Yo?

I mean, it probably doesn't look like our Yo-Yo, but it's... Here's a 1791 illustration of a woman playing with an early version of the yo-yo, which was then called a bandolour. This seems like a hipster lady. She won't even put down her fan to play with it. She's got a fan in one hand and a yo-yo. There's a Greek vase painting from 440 B.C.

showing a boy playing with a yo-yo. Or holding a rock on a string. He's getting ready to swing around yeah this is a yeah this is the beginning of a war

he's playing with a yo-yo and just any type of ball has been around yeah right I mean is there any more toy that stood the test of time than just a

well a doll I guess or a ball this toy I have right here let's see it macho man macho man a rubber macho man 400 BC yeah look at this I've had this since I was a kid This toy I have right here. Let's see it. Macho Man. Macho Man. A rubber Macho Man.

400 BC. Yeah. Look at this. I've had this since I was a kid. Are there joints on that thing or is it just kind of- No, it's just a rubber. Why would he ever need to leave that position? This is self-defense too.

I mean, what does it say? I can't tell the date. 88 maybe? Oh, man. And that's the original. That's the one you had when you were a kid. Yeah. That just comes in a box

I don't remember what is this gonna be like an heirloom that you passed down to the my kids are already what Daisy was playing with it earlier yeah she was playing

with it and and uh Laurel was like who is that and she said macho man yeah do you ever do the voice when you play with it

no I don't well I do oh yeah but she didn't know that but she says he's got a lot of boo-boos is what she says oh yeah oh the abs she doesn't he's. Okay. But she says he's got a lot of boo-boos is what she says.

Oh, yeah. Oh, the abs. She doesn't. He's been around. This thing's been around. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. He's got some scars.

Battle scars. 1988 BC. What else you got there? You want to show your other show and tell? Show and tell. Well, I thought other people were bringing toys. I didn't. I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have. And that's why I brought some. That's all right. I got something. None of these others were actually mine. People have given these to me. But I did have these. This one, our friend Abe from Wisconsin gave me this.

Fantastic. And I had one like this. I love it. And it used to, the alarm would be like, oh, wake up, take your vitamins, you know, say your prayers. Oh, it would say stuff? Yeah. Oh, that's Hulk Hogan. So that was a really great one.

Yeah. And then this was my favorite, He-Man. And then this is some He-Man villain here. Oh, he's got a little neck thing. Is that a Pez dispenser? I don't know. I didn't know this. Yeah, it looks like it.

I didn't know this villain. He's got the exact same physique as He-Man here. Yes, it's a fair match. But this one was like, you know, he's got his thing there. And then if it got hit one time, it would be a little bit of damage. And then hit again, it would be more damage. Oh, that's awesome. So it's like impact He-Man.

Now, He-Man's based on a thing, right? Yeah, He-Man, Masters of the Universe. Or comics. He would be Adam, and then he would go, by the power of Grayskull. And then he would hold his sword up to the sky. Yeah, I don't get in that witchcraft. Yeah, it is. I don't like that sorcery. But I used to do it when I was a kid. Nobody was teaching to the sky. I don't get in that witchcraft. Yeah. It is. It's like sorcery.

But I used to do it when I was a kid. Nobody was teaching me this stuff. I don't get into it now. But when I was a kid, I was playing He-Man and I did like that. You know, and I was, I was, I was Adam changing into a He-Man and my cousin shot me in the chest with a BB gun before I could fully transition and went. You had damage right here. Yeah.

It went through my lung. Really? Yeah. I was looking like this and still in my back to this day. The BB is. You do not have a BB in your back. I do. Yeah.

Wow. Let's see it. Well, you can't see it. I should have brought my x-ray. Can you feel it or is it just in? No, it's just in there. So it's not near the surface. No, it's deep in there.

Why did they decide to leave it in? They're just like, this is not worth surgery. Well, I went to the hospital, and I only spent a night in the hospital, and they were like, he's going to be fine. A night, though? That's serious. And the doctor was like, told my dad, he goes, you can take it out. He goes, you can probably leave it in there, or you can have it taken out. And my dad goes, nah, let's just leave it.

It's weird to give choice to parents as a surgeon. Yeah. You know what? I think he was saying- Let's just leave it. It's weird to give choice to parents as a surgeon. Yeah. You know what? I think he was saying it might be worse to go and cut you open and take it out. Yeah. So I got x-rayed about 10 years ago and you could still see it in there. Wow. You ever go through a metal detector and it goes off?

Never. I did have a MRI one time and they were like, do you have any shrapnel in your body? And I was like, well. A little bit. Yeah. Got some pencil bit. Yeah. Yeah. And I said, if this BB comes out during this MRI, I want it. You know what I mean? I've had- Ping, you stick to the ceiling of the thing. At that point, I've been carrying this thing for-

Covered in your flesh. Yeah. I've been carrying this for 20 years. I want that. What happened to the guy who shot you? It's my cousin. He's still around. Okay. But were there any kind of repercussions repercussions? No, he cried for a while. How old was he? He's about four years older than me. Maybe five years older than me.

Too old to be shooting me in the chest with a BB gun, I'll tell you that. Oh, in the chest. Somehow I missed it. It went through? Yeah, he shot me in the chest. It went through my lung. Wow. It's a BB.

I thought I could even do that. It was my grandfather's old air rifle. Yeah. So it's very powerful, I'm sure. Oh, yeah. Before's a BB. I thought I could even do that. It was my grandfather's old air rifle. So it's very powerful, I'm sure. Before that was regulated. To be fair, he says he didn't know it was loaded. And he was... We got a little Alec Baldwin situation. Yeah, a little rust happening here.

Yeah. And yeah. He blamed the armor. So yeah, so that's not your favorite. So the gun wasn't your favorite toy then? That's not a... No, I ended up playing with a gun a lot. Red Ryder?

Yeah. I mean, I shot, you know, even as a late teen, early 20-year-old, we used to, me and my buddies would drink and shoot each other with a BB gun. You know what I mean? It's like- You didn't learn your lesson at all? No. I mean, I learned my lesson for a while as a kid,

but once alcohol got involved in my life, I left a lot of those lessons. It can do that, you know? Yeah. My first toy was a slingshot, but... Was it real? Yeah, he was out there with King David.

Yeah. Goliath? Is that what you're trying to say? I did buy a long... When I was a kid, they sell these like... I don't even know what they're for they're for like professional target shooting yeah yeah and those were all people hunt with a slingshot for really hunt with a slingshot well i did bring one little toy this is not my first or my most

popular but it was easy to bring what is it this is a robot from the jetsons i don't think so it kind of looks like the robot from lost in space but that's what i was thinking i don't think so. It kind of looks like the robot from Lost in Space. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I don't think it's quite that, but you wind it up, and now Eleanor loves this. Look at that thing. Look at it go. Is this a toy that you have when you were a child, Brian? Yeah. I don't remember where I

got it, but... Can you guys catch that with the camera? This is Chuck Yeager right here. I think it's moving. You might need to put it on sport mode or something to catch that. You didn't wind it very much. He's already faded. He's about as old as I am. But Eleanor loves it.

It scared her at first when he first started walking. My dog barks at it, but now she loves it. It's amazing that thing still works. I know. I mean, there's no battery. It's just a windup. What do you guys think about that mechanical toys like everybody's getting digital toys now as a child.

And you know, they have like an, they're going to be totally obsolete, but this thing's meanwhile, like a mechanical toy or like a physical toy, like a ball that you can hold. Like, I don't know. Yeah. I'm all about the physical stuff. I still like to buy DVDs.

I mean, I'm all about having a thing. You say that, but if you were a kid and you had, no offense, Brian, but if you were a kid and you had that and then somebody goes,

hey, do you want a PlayStation? Yeah. Or an iMac. I'm into physical things. Well, let's be honest though. It got, the physical got better before we went to digital.

Yeah. Well, that's true too. But if you're, it depends on how old you are. I mean, when you're real little he is humming now nothing can beat that

be careful on this table I mean where it might catch this table I would play with that all when I was young I would love having that kind of thing

yeah and the great I mean I looked up some stuff what do you have a ladle or something right a spatula yeah yeah spatula oh yeah yeah that was my main toy that's why you didn't bring any toys yeah And the great, I mean, I looked up some stuff. What did you have, a ladle or something, right? A spatula. Yeah, yeah.

Spatula. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was my main toy. That's why you didn't bring any toys. Yeah. My mom still has that spatula, the one that I play with. That's so great. It's still just in the kitchen cabinet.

For reference here, there are four home videos of my childhood. That's another crazy thing. You think about, like, how many videos do you have of y'all's kids now like they're oh much of their life is documented right just for your own best i have like four of when i was a baby and all four of them i'm holding the spatula that was the toy that was the toy i'd cry if i didn't have it like it wasn't like they were forcing it on me it's like i wanted this i just wanted to hold it they were trying to wean you off the spatula unable it was like a security blanket yes yeah exactly i mean it's not like you wanted to make food you just liked holding

the spatula no i didn't even know what it did i just liked the shape of it yeah yeah yeah i just like to hold it yeah i mean i looked up some stuff about gender appropriate toys and there's different, some psychologists, I guess, or yeah, I think psychologists say that kids are biologically, girls are going to lean toward dolls and nurturing things like that. Yeah, maybe. Boys are going to lean toward guns and stuff like that. And some say it's all about. I see only two options, guns and dolls. Guns and dolls. But, and then some say, no, it's all about how you teach them.

Right. You can. I played with dolls growing up. I don't really understand the difference between dolls and action figures. Well, that's why they had to call it an action figure because boys would be like, isn't it a doll? Yeah. I mean, the original Barbie, you know, for boys, they had to make G.I. Joe. That was the doll that kind of.

Or Ken wasn't for boys? No, no. I think girls, yeah, just thought that was part of the. Johnny, you were telling me you've seen Barbie three times and it spoke to you. So what was it about that movie that really. I have seen it once. Is it good? I haven't seen it.

It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Really well done, I'm sure. But I love Eleanor's 20 months old. She loves playing with a stick in the yard just as much as she does with a doll. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

I think that's fine. You're like, that's great because we're very poor. We're going to need you to lower your standards. I mean, I assume Daisy's the same way. Yeah. I mean, you know, yeah. I mean, Daisy gets into it. I mean, I assume Daisy's the same way. Yeah. I mean, you know, yeah. I mean, Daisy gets into it. I mean, she plays with the macho man, but, but Daisy is very much like she likes, she has a house that she plays with and she likes her little babies and she likes the,

the mom of the babies. And she really, um, you know, Daisy really has some, uh, maternal instincts. I feel like where she's, you know, we're not, I mean, I got all kinds of toys at the house. It's like, she's not, you know, we're not forcing any kind of toy. But she does tend to lean more towards dolls and little babies and stuff like that. And, you know. Give them a spatula. See what happens.

Yeah. They might be into it. Yeah. But, you know, she also will get outside and rake some leaves and stomp in the leaves with me. And, you know. You know, another interesting thing is I think kids, my mom told me that, like, we would all play with toys differently. My older brother, all he would do was he would just, sorry, I think your toy's suicidal over here. It's trying to jump off my cup.

But my older brother would just take out all, just line them up and look at them. Yeah. And that was playing with them. And then he'd put them back in. And other kids would do stuff with it. He just wanted to line it all up. Is he very organized to this day? I think, yeah.

I think that's more of his personality. Yes. I was, I remember mom telling me that as a baby, I would tear things apart. So there was like children's books and things. And she said, every toy we got you, you would want to take like the arms off and you wanted to see what was inside the battery compartments. And, uh, she said, we got you these, even as a baby, she got me these books that were supposed to be indestructible. They're made of some, like you can't tear the, and she said, she came in one day and the pages were all

torn out and laid in. Like I found a way to, and I've thought about that since day and the pages were all torn out and laid into like i found a way to and i thought about that stretch armstrong was torn that's what it was yeah red fluid covered yeah she's like is that yeah but no i thought about it later because i was doing a podcast we were talking about something like this about like your child did you know you were going to be a comedian i said i was like no i was always like a class clown i was trying to be funny but i was very shy too i But I told that story, but I told that story about the thing and it made sense to me. I was like,

I was deconstructing the toys and that's kind of how you make jokes. You take like something in culture and you just go, why do we do this? That's really the same thing. It's the same net practice. I don't break it down. You take something good. I'm still tearing apart children's books today.

That's what I do too. So what does a spatula mean for my career? Oh, I don't, it's not good. That's probably true. Maybe I like to take things, flip them on its side. Yeah. Like to flip things over. Let's take a look at this from underneath.

Yeah. Are you like, you know, maybe you just view in the world differently. Like you see this as a cooking utensil. To me, it's a toy. I think it's cool. Yeah. Thanks, man. Yeah. Now, you have dogs.

Do you get your dogs toys? Yeah. For Christmas? We do. My wife insists. I think it's silly, but I'm okay. Whatever she wants to do. But yeah, she gets them presents.

Not only do they unwrap them. We unwrap them. You get into it, too, right? Yeah. Come on. Come on. Don't throw it under the bus. They get one lullaby every night

that is it though I cut them off at one no yeah we're pretty stupid for our dogs but yeah they get like a bone something special

that's not a normal treat like a rawhide like a rawhide bone oh that's fun get lodged in there real bad yeah my sister had a dog

that would eat wrapping paper at Christmas yeah so she would get in a rawhide bone a giant rawhide and that would eat wrapping paper at Christmas. Yeah. So she would get it a rawhide bone, a giant rawhide, and it would eat the whole bone. The dog would eat everything. It would eat napkins.

And we thought at first that it was napkins because you'd be wiping your food on it. So it smelled like food, but it would eat clean napkins. The only thing it had, it's two surgeries because it would eat everything and it couldn't digest a pine cone and a corn cob. Those are two hard things. Yeah. But it ate those things. Man. It would eat anything. You had a raccoon.

Yeah. I'm a little surprised your family would give a dog surgery. Yeah. Like it's like, we don't have a dog anymore. Well, I'm surprised by it too, but yeah, it was too. But yeah, this is my brother-in-law. I do have one brother-in-law that went to college. So that's where that's coming from. He's from Michigan. That book learning.

He's like, we can't let this dog die. A bit of a northern college educated kind of guy. Michigan guy. Yeah. Real dork. Thinks animals shouldn't suffer. What a weirdo. Bringing in a lot of information.

Really killing the vibe with the sleigh get-togethers. We buy our plants gifts. Oh, do you? Plants are the new pets. Plants are the new pets. What does that make pets? The new kids.

And what does that make kids? Absolute. Goodbye, society. Push them out. You know what they really need is game time. Oh, man. Game time. And it's the best time of year for game time.

That's what I've been telling people. It is the holiday season. And game time is a really interesting option for gift ideas. A lot of times you have people in your life and you go, what can I even get that person? They have a lot of stuff. They have material things. What about the gift of experiences? Yeah.

What about the gift of getting out and doing things? I think that's the best option. With our schedule still hectic around the holidays, we like using the GameTime app. It has great prices on last-minute tickets and flash deals. It is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all the sports, music, theater, and, of course, comedy near you. The GameTime app makes it so easy to see the seat views right there in the app. You won't show up and be like, this isn't what I bought.

I mean, it shows you. It's quick, easy, simple to use. They are the only ticket sales app that we know of that offers lowest price guarantee, event cancellation protection, and job... ...steps leading up to the trailer to play with my slinky.

It's kind of a bummer of a gift to get. You can't even finish the song. It walks downstairs alone. It's done. The song's over. It's slinky. It's done. That's, the song's over. It's Slinky. Not again. A Slinky in a trailer park. Yeah.

Yeah, that's tough. I also had a skateboard and I lived on a dirt road. I mean, there is. That is rough. Yeah. Did you have a TV

for that PlayStation? I did have a TV. We had pay-per-view wrestling to order. Oh, there you go. Well, Slinkys weren't an immediate hit when they first came out until they convinced the toy store to build a ramp and let it be on display. Oh, there you go.

You got to see how it works. Yeah, and then it took off. It's marketing right there. Legos. You guys big into Legos? Huge into Legos. I made a Lego magazine once when I was a kid oh yeah

sent in a picture of me with something I built and I made the magazine what yeah yeah it was a big deal I thought you made

a Lego magazine out of Legos I was like what how do you do that that's weird pages that's heavy it's the 10 commandments

you're holding up there I was featured in the Lego magazine. What did you build? Yeah. Just some spaceship or something. Just some spaceship. Yeah. Must have been impressive.

Yeah, it must have been. Wow. This was just from your head. That wasn't a kit. You made it from your imagination. No, it was just something I built. This was before. Now Lego.

There's a Lego store across from the Columbus Funny Bone. Yeah. That's like right there. And you can look in there and everything's just like these kits that I feel like, I don't know if kids these days. Yeah. I don't know, but I just had a huge bucket of just random whatever. Yeah. Like there was no color coordination.

I couldn't afford to do that. It's so funny you say that because I went into that store looking for just a bucket of Legos for my kid. I wanted to just get her something to play with. And they were all kits. I'm like, I don't want her to have to have an assignment. Yeah, exactly. You're just following instructions. You want to teach her to be outside of the box anyway.

Like, what's in your head? What do you think this should be? Exactly. She could pay $300 and she'll build the Batmobile. Right. That's what it is now. Yeah. Yeah. When I was a kid, it was just the blocks.

But now it's like... There's a Legoland place, right? Like a museum or a amusement park. Oh, yeah. They're cool. It's cool. You know, a hurricane hit Legoland. They estimated the devastation

is about a million square blocks. It's a Johnny Depp, your original. Thanks for listening. That's Nate Land. I think we got what we need. Goodbye, folks. That's good. That is good. So Lego is... I didn't know there was a joke coming.

I thought maybe at the end, but no, no, it was good. Thank you. That's a great joke. Lego is a... Lego is a Danish word. Danish. Yeah. Ugh. Legat,

which means play well. Well, you just say it. I don't know. I don't even know. I don't know. I was thinking of the, the breakfast item.

Good. Lego is a breakfast item word. Uh, anyway, it's, it means play well. Do you know what the plural of Lego is? Like it word. Anyway, it means play well. Do you know what the plural of Lego is? Like it's let's go.

Sounded like John Crist. Yeah, let's go. Legolas. Johnny? I don't know. Legi? Is it not just Legos? Legi.

It's just Lego. Oh, so it's like deer. Yeah. It's like deer, the plural of deer. Or fish. Yeah, sheep. Yeah. There are 400 the plural of deer. Or fish. Yeah, sheep. There are 400 billion Lego bricks on Earth.

Whoa. How many? 400 billion. Wow. That's too many. It's 50 to a person. Now, this is months and months ago, and people got sick of it, but we had an ongoing debate about whether there were more wheels or doors in the world. Mm-hmm.

whether there were more wheels or doors in the world. And my argument was the deciding factor in favor of wheels was the amount of wheels that Lego produces every year. Millions and millions and millions of wheels that Lego makes. Do they make doors too, though? Maybe, but not a couple. A couple dozen they make a a year but wheels are so common i mean you just heard the numbers that's billions and billions and billions well i i wasn't around for this debate i don't think so i really want to get into it but i feel like you said people

got sick of it people did get sick of it well they got sick of it in two seconds uh what's the old saying the voice the voice of the people is in two seconds. What's the old saying? The voice of the people is the voice of God. That's the voice of Nate. Yeah. He knows when to shut it down. He's like, this is hurting my brand. I got to shut it off.

Yeah. You got to think there's a lot of, I would feel like there's a lot of countries and cities where there are a lot of homes, but not a lot of cars. So a lot of doors. But it's not just cars that you're getting wheels. Wheels are on everything. These chairs we're sitting on, there's so many wheels in this room. Yeah.

I don't even think it's particularly close. But there's also a lot of doors in here. Look at all these doors. Yeah. But there's more wheels. All right. We'll talk about it later. Sorry, Brian.

No, it's all right. Just two more interesting Lego facts. Okay. Any Lego brick since 1958 will still work today. They make them. What happened in 1958? That's when they started. Oh, wow.

They haven't changed any of the sizes on anything. No. All right. That's maybe not when they started, but it'll still fit. The holes in the pegs. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it was. No. There are some different sizes. All right, that's maybe not when they started, but it'll still fit. The holes in the pegs. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it was.

Yeah. Provided it's not been melted. Right. Sure. Yeah. Well, that's pretty much it. That's true.

I mean, I guess it's called a stud. Melting will change. It's called a stud. The structure of something. An eight stud Lego brick, if you had six of them, they could be combined into 915 million different configurations. Wow.

I don't really understand that. I don't. The math of that. You can put them on. Yeah, they could be. 915 million? That's hard to believe. That was five.

It's a factorial. Well, yeah. I'm not going to do all 900 million. Oh, okay. I appreciate that. Just do the first. I feel like you got one too many zeros. Can I say, I was in, so there's a store in Knoxville and I was there the other day and

on Gale Street. Yeah, with Nate. No, this was with my niece and we're going in and it's like this, I go to Knoxville. From a hometown crowd. Yeah. No, but I was there and there's like a general store and it's one of those, like, it's kind of like a Cracker Barrel vibe in there where there's all the old candies. And I'm looking around like, oh, a bit of honey.

There's all these old candies. I'm like, you know, they're never as good as you remember them. But in one bin was Lego bricks that were sweet tarts. It was a big bag of them. And I remember thinking like, this is a bad idea. It's a horrible idea. You're teaching kids to eat Lego bricks. And that's the main thing about Legos.

And they look like they would work. It wasn't like they have little bumps. They look like they would actually connect. You could build with them. I was like, what are we doing? How were they? Did they taste good? I didn't get them because I thought this sends them out.

I don't want to feed into big sweet tarts, whatever the message they're sending the kids. Good for you, Johnny. Thank you. You took a stand. I struck a blow that day. It's about time somebody stood up to you. It's like when you, there's a raw,

like talk about dog toys. There's a dog, a rawhide shoe that you can buy. And I was like, you're teaching a dog to eat shoes. Horrible. Horrible. It's a shape.

It's shaped like a shoe. Yeah. How comfortable is it? How'd that taste? I put it on and stepped on a Lego. It protected me. a shoe. Yeah. How comfortable is it? How'd that taste? I put it on and I stepped on a Lego. It protected me. So I like that. Do you guys remember how the teddy bear started?

Yes. It was Theodore Roosevelt. Saved the bear. That's right. So to commemorate it, they made a teddy bear. Yes. And it became a- Isn't that fun?

Chuck Yeager was there. It's just great. Have you ever heard of Theodore Roosevelt? Nah. Teddy Roosevelt. Teddy Roosevelt. Anyway, it doesn't matter. The Bull Moose Party?

You've never heard of that? No, I do know old Teddy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was a huge, huge hit. I mean, this guy did something for the country. Unlike Charles Yeager. That guy.

Anyway, the teddy bear became a huge, huge hit. So when he left office, the toy makers were like, uh-oh, nobody's going to buy the teddy bear anymore because we got a new president. Yeah. I told this story on the president. Who was the next president? President's episode. I'm going to get there. Okay.

William Taft, who was a very portly man. Yeah. Rumor is he got stuck in his bathtub. He. Flabs McGee, they called him. portly man. Yeah. Rumor is he got stuck in his bathtub. He. Flabs McGee, they call him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He ate a 18 pound cooked possum. And the people were like, hey, that could be our thing. So they created a stuffed animal called Billy the possum or Billy possum. And it did not take off like the teddy bear, as you might imagine. Well, yeah, possums aren't as cute. Yeah. And just the whole story.

One's saving a bear. The other one's eating the possum. Oh, right. So it's a little bit different. Yeah, a little bit different. It doesn't look good for the country, too, if the president's having to eat a possum. Yeah. Like, I promise I'll get us out of this mess we're in.

Yeah. I'm going to eat this 18-pound possum. Yeah. It actually looks better than I thought it would. Yeah. I'm going to go eat this 18 pound possum. Yeah. It actually looks better than I thought it would. Yeah. Yeah. That's not bad.

It still looks like, I mean, I don't want to touch it. Yeah. Yeah. He looks like he's looking at you like, what do you think

you're doing there? It's very, you know, it's like you don't belong here. Oh, that's what possums do. Yeah.

Not bad. That is. They do feel like they own the place. Raccoons too. Yeah. Yeah. Not a fan of either.

Well, I can't find my list of the other top toys. Anybody want to mention one before we wrap it up? Well, G.I. Joe was, I didn't have a G.I. Joe to bring, but when I was a kid, that was my favorite toy. I had a ton of G.I. Joes. I loved G.I. Joe. I mean, that was everything to me was the G.I. Joe. G.I. Joe. I mean, that was, that was everything to me was the G.I. Joe. You know, you know, I don't, you may not know this about me, but I used to, uh, I try to, would make my, I would try to make my own toys for a while. I would cut, I would cut up a little like, uh, army men, like the little

plastic green army men. I had like cavemen, I had all the, and I would cut them up and then I would hot glue them back in different arrangements. And then I would paint them. Okay. And then I would take pictures of them and I would, I would write letters to toy companies and try to get them to make. Are you serious? Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. I've got, I didn't even think.

Entrepreneurs, bro. Yeah. I didn't even think about this, but I have some of the letters at my house where they, where they write back to me rejection letters yeah they were cool about it yeah sure yeah that's amazing that's awesome yeah have you guys do you guys would you guys want an action figure of yours do you think that would be a good merch item maybe well the funko yeah the funko pops yeah your fans are amazing you guys naitland fans are so amazing you guys these cool gifts yeah they're on the way that's really cool they're sitting to us i think guys have these cool gifts. Yeah, they're on the way. That's really cool. They're sending them to us.

I thought you said the fans were on their way. They're getting there. I want to do like a plush doll of me, like a, yeah, the old Johnny doll.

Oh, if it's plush, it's like a, I don't know what plush means. You know, like it's a stuffed animal, but it's of me. Hold the microphone.

The old Johnny would be perfect. It's a little fluffier. Yeah, you're more Ken now. Yeah, I was going to call it a Johnny Snuggle You. Yeah, I like that. It's catchy. Yeah, it's better

than Johnny Weeping. Here are the custom... The one eye has a tear. It's like a teardrop tattoo. Here are the custom Funko Pops of all four of us made by Mike Kallenberg. That's awesome. They're very cool. These are great. You know, I have... A guy in Tacoma gave me one of these. I have a Funko Pop of myself at my house right now. These are great. You know, I have a guy in Tacoma gave me one of these.

I have a Funko Pop of myself at my house right now. These are great. I'd love to have this too. I don't have the red hat version. Yeah. Well, I think he's mailing them to us, so we should get them soon. Awesome. You look worried.

What are you guys get? So when you guys do solo shows, you probably do. But we talk about green rooms, but you guys do get gift bags backstage of stuff that people send you. They make you things. What's the coolest thing you guys have gotten? I got a bag of leaves my last show. Oh, that's not. They thought you were dusting.

Well, they wanted me to bring them. Oh, to bring the dust. Yeah. He still has them. Put them in a suitcase. I threw them away. Sorry. Jeez.

People bring me Milky Ways quite a bit. You didn't just put them in the yard you referenced it before on the show that's your favorite or whatever that's what i meant okay that's probably it people get a lot of milky ways oh yeah and beef jerky now oh yeah yeah a beef jerky now that's pricey so it's like that's a good gift i have no complaints about any of it yeah it's going great it's a good gift yeah it's really nice One time I did a show in Lincoln, Illinois. This was a few months ago. And it said this, you know, Lincoln's a really weird town. And like, it's named after Abraham Lincoln.

And so they were doing this. And I had this bag. And I was just going through it. And it was this weird stuff. And I look in it. And there's a photo. And it's an old-timey photo. And I swear, I go, is this what?

I was asking the opener. I go, is this what I think it is opener? I go, is this what I think it is? They go, it is, I think. And I go, this is John Wilkes Booth. They gave me a photo. It was like a bunch of food and stuff, cookies, and then a photo of John Wilkes Booth. And then on the back, it said, you killed in Lincoln. Thanks for coming.

Thanks for coming and killing in Lincoln. This is a really dark gift bag. Oh, that's great, though. Yeah, it was that photo. It was that with the mustache. Yeah. It's like, wow. John Wilkes Booth.

You killed in Lincoln. It was before the show, too. So I was like, you don't know how this is going to go. I don't want to tell you what they did when i when i killed in dallas um you got like a little convertible yeah exactly exactly uh well again my notes one thing i remember was that george lucas gave up some of his salary to have the rights to the manufacturer of the toys because he knew Star Wars was going to be such a big, huge hit for the toy makers. He gave up, I think, like $500,000 of his own salary when he negotiated to do Star Wars. To get points on the toys.

To have the right for the toys. I think Nicholson did that for the first Batman, the first reboot of Batman, whereas the Michael Keaton one, he said, I'll take this low salary, but I want like 5% of everything

that has the Joker on it. I did that with this podcast. Oh, yes. I've told Nate, I'll do it for free, but I want 1% of every Nate Land t-shirt so

that's fair I want a Funko I made 40 bucks it's been a good three years I guess that's a good place to wrap yeah

well we love you all oh you want to go around and say where everybody's doing we got a couple minutes here start with you Dusty this weekend I'm going to be in the Liberty

Funny Bone in Liberty, Ohio. Liberty Township, Cincinnati. Yeah, I'll be there Friday and Saturday. It's going to be great. Throughout this month, though, I have two shows at Zany's, one on December 12th, one on December 18th here in Nashville, and then Salt Lake City at the New Year's. Amazing. Wise guys.

I'm still on the Christmas party circuit, but, uh, this Sunday I will be in, uh, I don't do arenas in Knoxville like Johnny, but I am, uh,

at a theater, the Bijou theater opening for my friend, Karen Mills. Karen's very funny. She was on the Nate land showcase. Yeah. I love the Bijou too. Bijou is a fantastic place to see a show.

And Karen's very funny. Karen's very funny. So, you know, come check her out. BG is a fantastic place to see a show. And Karen's very funny. Karen's very funny. So come check her out. It'll be a great show. Also at three o'clock in the afternoon, Knoxville, you know, so we'll see if we can create a traffic jam.

I think you can do it. How much time are you doing? Do you think? I don't know. 20, 25 minutes. Get there at three 20. Go to,

go to game time and get the tickets that let you know that you can just pop in. The sun's going to be shining through. Shut the door. All right. This weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Chattanooga, Tennessee. Everybody lives in Chattanooga. Everybody lives in the greater Chattanooga area or anybody willing to travel to Chattanooga, Tennessee. I'm at the Comedy Catch all weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

And then Sunday, I'm going to be in Knoxville as Tennessee. I'm at the Comedy Catch all weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And then Sunday, I'm going to be in Knoxville as well. How about that? I'm in Knoxville. Allie Ray's doing a show in Knoxville, Tennessee. So come see Brian

and then come see me right after that. Yeah, how about that? How about it? A little double dip. Love it. Work on that Grand Slam. How much time are you doing?

An hour. An hour flat. I should have asked you what time the show started first it's like my jokes not gonna work what time's the show start first uh seven yeah uh i'm doing uh some christmas parties this weekend but then i have a show the 15th in franklin uh at generations church and it's with my buddy paul ald do some time there. Then I'm headlining Zany's on the 27th. Johnny W is very funny. Go see Johnny.

He was also on the Nate Land Showcase. He's great. I'm trying to sell out Zany's. I really want to do it. We sold a few so far already. I got a few weeks to go. Let's do this. Go see him. It's a great. Yeah. Yeah. Go see him. Amazing.

It's a great Christmas gift. Yeah. Well, you're tired of your family around the 27th anyway. Come on. Exactly. Exactly. Bring your family.

I mean, all come. Johnny is very funny. It's a great show. It will be a great show. Yeah. And that's going to do it for this edition of the Nate land podcast. We love you.

We love each of you individually and as a group. We thank you for listening. None of this is lost on us. It's not about us. It's about you. Have a great holiday. Except for trusting Lee.

Lose our number. We love you. Thank you. Thank you for listening. Go see us this weekend. All four of us. Bye. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi and my wife, Laura, on the AudioBoom platform. Recording and editing for the show is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show

is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.