The Nateland Podcast - 185: #185 Furniture

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

Nate's MIA so this week Brian, Aaron, and Dusty are left alone to talk about furniture. Brian explains why he prefers a couch over a chair, Aaron shares his displeasure with televisions mounted too high, and Dusty gives his ideas for redecorating the White House. Robinhood-Robinhood.com/boost Now through April 30th, Robinhood is boosting every single dollar you transfer in from other retirement accounts with a 3% match. Hello Fresh - HelloFresh.com/natelandfree Go to HelloFresh.com/natelandfree and use code natelandfree for FREE breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. America’s #1 Meal Kit

hello folks and hey bear aaron weber here with uh my co-host brian bates and across the table from me filling in for nate bargetti isy Slay. Dusty, welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. Good to see you, buddy. I'm pumped to be here. How's it feel from that side of the table? Feels good. I always like this. Yeah.

Nate's not here today. I don't know what he's doing. He's headlining the Roman Coliseum or something all over the world. I don't know where he's at. I feel like I never see him anymore. I miss him. But I'm happy to be here with the two of y'all. He sent a statement.

This is about the shortened episode. I haven't read this yet, so I don't know what it says. Feels like a bet, though, doesn't it? This is the first statement in the history of the podcast. I know a lot of you are upset about the recent decision to shorten the podcast to an hour. While I understand your concerns, I don't care i'm a huge i wish i'd read this ahead of time i'm a huge star now you don't need any of you oh this is awkward uh the truth is no matter how long the podcast you rubes will still listen to it because you have nothing to better do with your sad little lives no this is awkward this is interesting you should have read it ahead of time we love you

none of this is lost on us well that's awkward I wish I had read that ahead of time yeah yeah anyway

no actually it was my decision to shorten the podcast was it really Nate wanted to do three hours but I'm like guys come on

I am so busy I'm gonna be honest with you I support one hour more than three we've done three before. Haven't we? When John Reap was here for like four hours or something crazy, right? I feel like we did a long one.

John Reap's got a lot of energy. He does, and he sustained it for the whole length of the time. We've done a few. I don't know if we've ever hit three, but we've pushed over two and a half. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, leave them wanting more i mean it's my motto i do get it like sometimes if i'm like i gotta uh i gotta a flight and i'm trying to

download some podcasts to listen to if it says two hours i'm like nah i can't i don't i don't you know i'm not gonna have the time to listen to it and then i'll never go back and finish yeah so an hour is a real sweet spot but i also don't work a desk job so i think if you like if you work where you can be free to just listen to podcast all day i get wanting to wanting more time because podcasts are pretty filthy out there so it is nice when you can find like something that you could listen to at work or around your kids i didn't realize how filthy a lot of podcasts were until i had kids in the car and then i was like oh gosh you know because i'm you know i'm completely desensitized to the world right but

i've been around a lot of filth in my life people always say that they wish they could comment during the episode i get it because i i mean even the ones i'm not on if i listen i'm like these guys are idiots i listen to dusties every week i'm like this guy doesn't know what he's talking about i was listening to talk radio today in nashville and i know and they were talking about the moon landing and then they go can you believe a lot of people don't believe we landed on the moon? And I know the host. So I text him. While he's on air?

Yeah. And he gave me a shout out. So now Nashville believes that I don't believe in the moon landing, whether I do or not. Yeah. They believe that. You're not coming down on it either way. Yeah. You're just interested in the conversation.

Yeah. And that's what it's all about, really. Is this someone you want to say? Well, yeahphy i listened to okay 99.7 really fun guy okay he's had me on a few times really nice guy yeah and they're covering just topical stuff like the moon landing yeah he just talks about anything just like day-to-day news like he'll be political but he really just gets it. He's like a libertarian. So he just kind of, you know, he just goes off. People get mad sometimes when I'm on the station with him because they're like, we got all these hot topics to talk about. And you're talking to some comedian.

And I'm like, well, not just some comedian. I'm the best. So take it easy. Where were we all this weekend? Where were you, Dusty? I was in So, take it easy. Where were y'all this weekend? Where were you, Dusty? I was in Huntsville, Alabama, and I did a moon landing joke, and it went very good. I spilled water on myself, but it went very good. I'm left-handed, and when I'm over here, everything's backwards.

Oh, okay. You can move that around. Well, I need the handle to be, yeah. You're left-handed, too? Yeah. God, that explains? It just explains a lot. We're geniuses. Finding out you're left-handed. That makes sense to me.

Why just me? I don't know. Dusty's got a lot going on. You probably drive with your left foot too. No, I drive with my right foot. I do a lot of things with your left foot too. No, I drive with my right foot. Okay. But I do a lot of things with my left foot. Well, I was in Huntsville, Alabama. Stand up live.

It was great. I never sold out a show in Huntsville before. I've been going for years and years and years. Nobody ever has. I never sold one out. I sold out three this weekend. All right. Yeah.

Three of the five were sold out. Wow. And it was incredible. Good for you, for you man great shows i made a joke i said you know the roads in huntsville this may not be for everyone but they have this weird road and it's just right out in front of the club it's like it's like kind of an interstate but you got to get off get back on make u-turns yeah i said i don't know who's designing this but i can see why we haven't been back to the moon hot joke they loved it one show i gave it a nice pause and then i go if the moon's even real and another great pop all right they loved it and there's nasa people in the audience yeah and because and they're the people who know it's not real you know what i mean like they're right

up in it they're just in on the lie. So when somebody, somebody says it, they're like, ah, yes. It's like a, a big relief. It's cathartic for them. Yeah.

It feels good. Like, of course, if we were in a conversation, they would have to go. No, it's real. But if we know,

but I do believe the moon's real, just that we can't go there. I do believe it. Oh, you do believe it's real. Yeah. Of course, of course it's real,

but we just, you know, we can't land on it okay all right all right so well yeah that's quite that's why they said we were going to go back this month and then and then you know they were saying that last year we're going to go back in january and now we're we're not doing it i don't think that's quite right well maybe we have different news sources but uh i think the first of the year they were saying we're going to go back this year or make a trip around it okay in 2024 with people right 2025 we're going to land on the moon now they've already scrapped the 2024 trip around it so everything's been pushed back so regardless of the timetable, we're not going to do it now. Okay. And then India did it. But then when the footage looked like the video game Galaga or Galactica, whatever the game was called.

Yeah. India landed a rover on the moon. I don't know if it's called a rover. The footage looks bad? It does look bad. I'm not saying they didn't do it, but the footage is not a good look. Yeah. Yeah. I think we tried to show it on here.

It'd be like me telling you that I got into a fight and saying it's on video and then showing you Street Fighter 2. And I'd be like, no, that's me right there. And you're like, that's a cartoon. And I'm like, no, dude. When I get into fights, I get into cartoon mode. Were they claiming it was video or just saying this is animation of what it looked like? I don't know. So Huntsville was good.

It was a great time. At the end of the day, Huntsville was great. It was a great time. Great time. Had a lot of fun. Great club. Yeah. I love it there.

There's a lot of coasters here. Coasters stacked on top of coasters around here. Well, you got two cups there. I do have two cups. That's kind of a boring coaster. What about you, Brian? What were you up to this week? You use coasters at the house?

Yeah. Well, Hannah does and tells me to do it. You don't. I could care less. I buy a lot of my furniture at a thrift store. It's the kind of furniture that you can afford to just throw out at some point. And I like that. The whole

thing's a coaster. Yeah. Let's don't get ahead on Furniture Talk. Oh, right. This is a furniture episode. Once Nate's away, we can finally get into it. Yeah, some stuff we've been wanting to get off our chest. Yeah. I love that. You're right. Yeah, we got a furniture episode. This is fun. Save all the furniture talk. This is a little preview of what's about to happen.

Right, right. That feels good. I was at a venue called the Walnut House in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. The Walnut House. This is my third time to do this place. It's a great venue, two shows. I think they were both sold out. Nice.

So, yeah. Good deal. It's a great time. Oh, I'd also like to say this, though. This is something that I did. All right. Nice. So, yeah. Good deal. It's a great time. Oh, I'd also like to say this, though. This is something that I did. Sorry. Back to Dusty. I did a podcast called Are You Garbage? You sure did.

And I know it was shared in the Facebook group, but maybe there's more listeners there. And on Reddit. And on Reddit. Oh, I didn't see it, right? You know, I'm out of Reddit now. Reddit's not kind to me. It's not kind to anyone. Yeah.

But I did that episode, and your wife texted me and said it's maybe the best podcast she's ever heard. Wow. She likes to speak it. She gets excited. But I'm just saying, I don't think she would mind me saying that. Have you ever seen her Instagram story? There's something right now that's the greatest thing. All I'm saying is she texted that to me personally, and it made me saying that. Have you ever seen her Instagram story? There's something right now that's the greatest thing. All I'm saying is she texts that to me personally

and it made me feel good. And a lot of people have said it's a hot episode. It was a hot episode. The consensus is it's one of the best episodes of that podcast, which has a lot of great episodes. Lucy said best ever that she's ever heard. So across all podcasts, all communities. She didn't

get detailed with it. that she's ever heard. Across all podcasts, all communities. She didn't get detailed with it. Best of any type of media, period. Yeah. But I felt good about it. Is this the beginning or the tail end of the Dusty Slade media blitz following the Netflix special?

I don't know. I don't know how long it'll go on, but it's still happening. I'm going to make a trip to L.A. next week. Nice. So it's still going. Any other big stuff in the works? You did the Tonight Show. Anything else like that?

Well, there is some stuff. I don't know that I can say yet. Okay. But there is some stuff in the works, some stuff I'm very excited about. Okay. All right. A little teaser. Can we guess?

Well, you can guess, but I won't say yes or no about it. It kind of takes the fun out of guessing. It does. It does. Where were you, Aaron? I was in Des Moines, Iowa. I got to tell you, Iowa, great state. Doesn't get talked about enough.

I like it a lot. I think it's a great comedy state, too. I was thinking about it. They've had great shows there. Yeah. I don't think I've it's a great comedy state, too. I was thinking about it. They've had great shows there. Yeah. I don't think I've ever had a bad comedy experience in Iowa. Dubuque, Cedar Rapids, Des Moines, a couple other smaller cities I've done stuff in. But the Des Moines Club was great.

Sold one show out, not three. One show sold out. That's big time now. Yeah. Out of three shows, one of them sold out. Not bad. And it was just just every show was great the people were nice a lot of nateland people came out it was a lot of fun so thank

you everybody that came out in des moines iowa seems to be a hot nateland place so does ohio by the way oh yeah and uh you know that the time i brought us those longhorn gift cards that was from a lady in des moines. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if she came to your show. Well, we'll never know. Yeah.

Because if somebody gave me four $50 gift cards, I don't think I'd ever bring it into y'all. I think I would not tell you about it. So just putting that out there. Who knows if I got something. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Maybe we'll call around to the Longhorns.

Say hey to the guy. Spend 200 bucks in there on four separate gift cards. Do you remember seeing him? Maybe. You want to hop into these comments? Yeah. Let's do it. What do you think?

Dusty, you want to read them? Or Brian, you want to read them? I feel like one of y'all should do it. All right. Dusty, you want to do it or you want me to do it? It's one of those days I don't like the sound of my voice today. Yeah, let me read a couple. I don't have to read them all. All right. You know what I mean? We can split up the duties here.

Oh. You know what I mean? That'd be a first. Maybe I'll read one, then you read one. We'll take some turns. If you want to jump in on one, you know what I mean? Spread it around. Okay. Well, I do want people to know you can read the first one, but I want people to know comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and Nate land at Nate Bargatze

dot com. Not Brian Bates's Gmail or Brian Bates's social media. Or my Twitter. Yeah. You getting a lot of that? No, not a lot, but I will just tag Brian inates' social media. Or my Twitter. Yeah. You getting a lot of that? No, not a lot, but I will just tag Brian in it when that happens. Yeah, people ask him, hey, how can we get a comment? He'll just tag me.

Let me take care of it. All right. This is from Erica Breaker. I think it's Breaker. I like that last name, though. That sounds like a wrestling name. Erica Breaker. About like that last name, though. That sounds like a wrestling name. Erica Breaker. About to break these bones.

Aaron mentioned the plane where the door flew off. I was on that plane sitting across from the hole and just wanted you guys to know that it was not a door from the inside. From the inside, it was a regular seat and window. Imagine the terror of flying and a random piece of your plane rips off and you have to look at the earth below you. That does sound terrifying, but I don't know that it's any less terrifying if it's a door, a window, a piece of the wall. I think just something ripping off the plane and you being open is pretty scary. Yeah. There's the picture right there.

How crazy is it that we had somebody who was on that flight listen to the podcast? That's so crazy. Mathematically, what are the chances? Dusty, you want to calculate that for us? I think very low. I would say one in a million. I'm just going to, I have no idea how those sort of statistics work. Yeah.

How many people were on that flight? 150 maybe? Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I mean, that's insane. Erica, I'm glad you're okay. And there's the picture right there. We've got a nice picture.

I'm glad you weren't sitting right there. I think it's – I'm going to disagree with you, Dusty. I think it's more terrifying that just the side of the plane flew off and not an exit door. I didn't know that. I didn't know that's what happened. I thought it was the exit door. I think most people are thinking that. Imagine you're at the exit and then when it lands, the flight attendant comes and goes,

I thought you said you could handle the duties here. Okay. goes, I thought you said you could handle the duties here. Okay. I came by and I told you to read the brochure and I go, I'm looking for verbal confirmation. And you said, yes. And then here we are mid-flight, the door comes off. I think it's got to be a relief that it's part of the wall. Imagine being at the exit row and another part of the wall goes off and you're like,

I don't know, should I jump into action here? She didn't ask me about row B. Should I open the door, get a little flow going through? Have you ever been a hero like that? Absolutely not. You haven't? A hero like that? No, like

have you ever stepped in in a situation like that? Not just on a plane, but anything in general. I think I've tried just on a plane, but anything in general? I think I've tried before in certain situations, but I feel like it'll be all wrong to where it's like, they're like, no, no, no, we don't need anything. And you're like, oh, okay, I was trying to. What, you mean like you saw somebody on the ground or something? I don't know.

Let's say this. When the tornado hit Nashville, I kind of wanted to go and help clean up. Yeah. But I feel like whenever I show up to something like that, there'll be somebody already in control. And they're like, oh, we want you to just pick up small sticks. And I'm just like, oh, no, I'm not out here to just pick up small sticks. That's called being a villain. That's the opposite of a hero.

Maybe you're right. But I want to be more involved. I don't want to be off to the side. I don't need to be a hero. I don't need to be on the news. But I'd rather, you know, let me help people inside, see if they need to take my arm or something. I don't want to be picking up little pieces of sheetrock out here. You think they're going to be cleaning up while there's still people trapped? I don't know. And we need you to reach in to pull them out? I just feel like I always get,

when I used to help my church do things, I just felt like I always got like the least important fun. They're like, why don't you go get the donuts? You know? And I'm like. Sounds pretty good. Yeah. It sounds important to me. I wish they would do that to me. Yeah. I've never been a hero. Far from it. If anything.

Far from it. I've called some detriment, probably. So you're a villain too, then. Yeah, I guess so. But Angela Johnson, who was on our podcast a few weeks ago i opened for her at stardome and uh in hoover right like two days after the tornadoes came through tuscaloosa did so much damage and she stopped and bought all these supplies i don't know i can't remember if she had a contact there and knew what to get yeah well we stopped at target and bought all these supplies that apparently maybe rescue workers need or something.

And she paid for it all. And we took it to the scene. And that's cool. It was a lot of stuff. So Angela stepped up. Wow. See, I feel like you were there. I was there.

I was in the room. Do you help load that into the car at all? No, I stay in the car. But you're like, oh, I'll keep the car warm. Yeah. Yeah. I was listening to car warm. Yeah. Yeah. I was listening to a podcast, had to finish, but, but I feel like if I, you know, if I were to buy stuff like that, I'd show up and they'd go, yeah, just put it over there with

the other stuff. It would like, I don't want them. I don't need them to, you know, but you know, pop a confetti balloon when I get there. But you want someone to go, is that Dusty Slade? Or I just want somebody to go hey we really appreciate this this is very helpful i get that instead of being yeah just put it over there with the other stuff we don't really got time to deal with it right now right i just feel like that's how people are going to react to me yeah it's people's the worst day of their life you'd still

like it to be a little bit about you yes okay that's fair or or or not a little bit about me but um you know just i don't want to be pushed to the side like you know the movie super bad right um they spend these two guys spend the whole day trying to get this liquor for the party right and then they go through they go through so much trouble to get it and they finally get there with it and they're like yeah we got tons of it over here let's put it over there yeah sure or or a teen wolf this seems to be a theme and a lot like they go through so much trouble to get a keg and then they finally get there and it's they got tons of it over here. Let's put it over there. Yeah. Sure. Or, or a teen wolf. This seems to be a theme in a lot of like, they go through so much trouble to get a keg and then they finally get there and it's,

they got tons of kegs. Right. You're not a hero. I always reference Seinfeld. There's a Seinfeld episode where George puts a dollar. I can't remember what it was, a bill in the tip jar. And right when he reaches to do it,

the guy looks away. He doesn't see it. Yeah. And he wants the recognition. Yeah, sure. I get that. I get that. I have told people that i tipped before just want you to know just want you to know i put

something i did put some money in there and then you can lie about how much you did yeah because they didn't see it put a hundred dollars in there and they're like we can see there's only three in there well somebody took it but i don't know what to tell you. I wasn't there, but Nate's bus driver, Ricky, was really a hero. Nate's road manager at the time started choking on food, and Ricky gave him the hoblet maneuver and saved his life. Really? Yeah. That's crazy.

Yeah. Could you do that for somebody? Could you do that for me? We've got to get your arms around. All right. Me and Dusty together. You have to join hands to get around my stomach. Laura, come up here.

That's funny. You're filling in nicely for Nate. You sure are. Listen, I see an opening and I'm like, do I want to make the joke? Please do. It'll probably be worth it. Well, I did take a infant CPR class when Eleanor was born. Oh, okay. But they also did it for adults.

And she was talking about, I have a joke about this. The woman from the Red Cross teaching it talked about abdominal thrust. And I said, are you talking about the Heimlich maneuver? And she said, yeah, but we don't call it that anymore because Dr. Heimlich had some beliefs we don't agree with. He was a Nazi, right? I don't think that. I think that was, you're thinking about maybe Asperger's.

You know what I was. But the bottom line is they don't call it the Heimlich maneuver anymore. It's abdominal thrust. Oh, good. You can even lose your maneuvers. Yeah. We're losing it all. So anyway.

Well, I'd like to know Dr. Heimlich's views. I think it was, I looked it up. I think it was not anything as sinister as that. It was just. Just about the moon landing. It was. Yeah. I looked it up. I think it was not anything as sinister as that. It was just about the moon landing. It was about the moon landing. Yeah.

I think it was about an actual procedure, like the proper way to do something, and they disagreed. It was like a scientific disagreement. I think so. So they canceled it. Wow. So anyway. I think you shouldn't do the maneuver. If you see somebody choke and you go, you know what?

I don't believe the way that Dr. Heimlich believed. That's my joke. Oh, is it? Sorry. Okay. Well, don't bring it up. Well, let him punch it up for you. Shingle ladies. You want me to do this one? Yeah. Joshua Heimstreiter. Friday at work, we sometimes watch a show during lunch. I picked Dusty's

new Netflix special. Within eight minutes, two people had spit out food laughing, and one guy choked pretty bad. Oh, perfect timing for this. He is okay now. This is Hein Strider. I mean, that may be related. This is all related. The manager declared that this is not

work appropriate. I guess not. However, everyone in the room asked me afterward who that comedian was. I think Dusty made some new fans. All right. I love that I'm that I'm killing

in the in the what is this? The lunchroom. Yeah. I love that. All right. Thanks, Joshua.

Hein Strider. That's pretty awesome. That is. That's awesome. I love that. Very nice. Everybody go watch Working Man.

I hope that choking Oh, he does say he's okay now. So I'm glad glad to know that. I hope that choking... Oh, he does say he's okay now. So I'm glad to know that. Well, that's awesome. I love that. Alex Thomason. Thomason?

Thomason. Aaron was... Thomason! Alex T. Aaron was wondering about other uses for hot hands technology. As a young single man, I took a lady on a date when it was cold out. I only had one hot hands packet left, so my date and I had to share it. Boom.

Instant hand holding. Probably the only time I've ever looked smooth with the ladies. My friends started calling me hot palms. I love that. That's risky, though. It's like, your hand's cold? Put it in this pocket. It's warm in this pocket. Oh, I your hands go, put it in this pocket. It's warm in this pocket.

Oh, I don't think he left it in his pocket. I think he put it in his hands. Let's share it. That's how I would do it. That's a way creepier way of doing it. That's how I would do it. It's nice and warm in this pocket. Oh, geez.

It's a hot pocket. Well, Alex, if you plan that, I mean, that's brilliant. It is brilliant. I think just to have one. But then there's always that. I always think, what's the possibility? She goes, nah, it's not that cold. She's like, you like apples?

Yeah. She's like, I'd rather do this. I'd rather just go home. Yeah, I'd rather just, let's go back inside. Yeah, if she's like, it's not that cold, but then you see her doing that, you're like, you don't want to end the date? You think the date's over? David Lewicki, would love to get y'all's thoughts on comedians using visual or PowerPoint slides to aid in their acts. I've been seeing it more often lately, and it seems like something that might bother traditional stand-up comedians.

I wonder who he's been seeing it from. There's a friend of mine. He's a Nashville comic, Ben Palmer, who moved here. And his act is he uses a lot of visual aids like that. And it's very funny. It's great. It's just a different type of thing. It's not something I think I would ever do.

I don't think y'all would do that either, but it's just a style thing. Well, I'm against it, but not if you like, I think if you're a stand-up comedian, then you just stand there with a microphone and do comedy. But you can still be a comedian and entertainer. But I do think if you're considered a standup comedian, then, you know, that's your thing. But if you're, you know, you could still be in, you know, an entertainer. Where's the line. What do you think? Can you rock?

What do you mean? Like I do on stage? Well, I mean, you don't got to stand still, but you do got to be standing. Even people that sit down, I'm kind of like, if you're a legend, you're almost like, all right, you can do it. But I mean, I think if we're stand-up comedians, we got to be standing. I think a lot of church comedians use visual effects. They do. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not saying you can't do it, but personally, I'm not going to be doing it. Yeah. Well, that's what I was saying, too. It's just a style thing, and I choose not to do it. Yeah. But also, who knows? I'm not too big to get a laugh any way that I can. I was told that James Gregory once hit a guy's puppet that used a puppet, and the guy couldn't do his act because he lost his puppet.

Yeah. But I've lost my voice and still did my show. And I thought it was a very good show. I did a weekend recently with, I lost my voice and I was very hoarse. But luckily my voice is already a little raspy anyway. Yeah, they couldn't even tell. So I still, I did four shows. Wow.

In Spokane, not feeling very good. And I think I crushed it. You guys plan on ever retiring from comedy? Next week. If I ever sell out three shows in Huntsville, I think I'm done at that point. I don't know. I don't know.

I'm not even... That's a personal and also a financial decision. And like neither in neither department. Am I even thinking about that in any, in any way? What about you? I mean, you're getting there. So like what you're going to have to decide if it's a financial decision,

maybe I should use Robin hood. Oh, dang. Boom. Hey dude. Didn't even see it coming. long game did you know that was happening when you i did did you know that even if you have a week well hold on brian i gotta read this verbatim so can you just hold off on the comments all right did you know that even if you have a 401k for retirement you can still have an an IRA. Robinhood has the only IRA that gives you a 3% boost on every dollar you contribute when you subscribe to Robinhood Gold.

But get this. Now through April 30th, Robinhood is even boosting every single dollar you transfer in from other retirement accounts with a 3% match. That's right. No cap on the 3% match. Robinhood Gold gets you the most for your retirement thanks to their IRA with a 3% match. This offer is good through. During his act. Wait, he wasn't.

Oh, his wife and sex. Okay. All right. Sorry. During his act, Aaron had several very funny bits about the city of Columbus. It got me wondering, how do you guys go about creating material for a specific place? Has it ever backfired and upset the audience? Oh, man.

I don't remember what Adam's talking about. Yeah, I don't think you saw Aaron. I think I said, good to be here in Columbus, and then I kind of moved on from there, but I don't know. That's very nice of you, Adam. Thank you. I'm glad everybody enjoyed the show. I don't know.

I feel like I need to do more of that. I see some comics. I had Monty Mitchell. Y'all know monty very funny he was with me this weekend in iowa and um he did we went to the state capital in des moines and that night he talked about the state capital building for like nine minutes on stage doing great getting big laughs how do you do that money's great some guys are great at doing that uh i don't feel like i'm one of those guys um so i don't talk about where i'm at that much i mean i

was with nate in tacoma when he did the dead horse and the mount rainier yeah that day i was blown away by crazy how great it was very first time he told it i think for me it's like some cities i go to something happens and i'm like oh i got something this is great uh but other times it's like yeah i mean i for me i've walked around columbus uh and i like columbus i don't find there to be anything particularly funny about it i do like the city yeah but as i'm walking around i'm like there's nothing really to make fun of here. Like when I was in Tacoma, I made fun of like how I went walking down one side of town and it got real sketchy and people seem to agree. They enjoyed it, you know?

But yeah, I did the Huntsville thing. It's like, but I don't know. Just if something's funny, but it's like, you know, you go to like a real rundown place. I don't want to be trash in the city. Right. Your city's crap. You know that, right? Because people will like it, but some people won't.

I don't like it. It doesn't feel good. More than once, because I know Tennessee pretty well, I've been to a small town in Tennessee where I've made references to things there that they didn't know about. Oh, wow. Like I knew too much. Yeah. And I thought, these jokes are going to kill. And then they just stare at me. You start doing research on the city and then you're like, you know, yeah.

Yeah. One of them was I did a Christmas party in Lewisburg, Tennessee. And when I grew up, Lewisburg is a very small town. There was a guy who made it, I think, all the way to the majors from Lewisburg. He was my age, and I thought, this guy is going to be a hometown hero. And I started talking about him. Nobody knew who I was talking about. Not one person.

Wow. Now, granted, that was 35 years ago, but I'm like, oh, boy. There's a comment that came through Nashville recently. He was like, I got some good jokes about your new mayor and uh nobody knows who the mayor is yeah and nobody knows anything about the bear nah i don't know how much you think we know about stuff yeah not a lot all i know about the old mayor is that he raised all our taxes that's all i know about him and i don't like him well the last mayor was a woman no no no the last No, the last. Come on. Come on, guys. We just got to laugh.

We could have convinced him that was true. Well, come on. Get with it, guys. It's two mayors ago. Again, that's because I'm too. And she's great.

She's a big comedy fan. She is. I met her. We met her at Zany's a few times. Yeah. I'm going to go to the bathroom.

Y'all just want to keep going. Yeah. You don't need to shut it down. Nah. I seem to blow my nose. Yeah.

Well. Yeah, I think we all want that. Okay. Well, I'll just go i'll go on with uh jasmine lozano yeah i've noticed that brian has been corrected for putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable multiple times my mom does this too she says six flags uh instead of six flags. I don't get it. I don't know how to read that.

And after correcting her for decades, I've just given up. I think you read it correctly. I think the emphasis is supposed to be on six. Oh, six flags instead of six flags. Yeah, maybe not quite that strong. But yeah, that's the point they're making. Six flags. I don't know how to do it.

But yeah, okay. So she just really wants to let you know there's flags there, but it doesn't really matter how many. I could see me doing that. How would you say it? I mean, I could see it be like her mom, like six flags instead of six. Let's see, I can't even. Yes, yeah.

I guess I get it, like the thing, Foo Fighters. That's right. Yeah. There was one other day that Aaron... Aaron, what was that word you corrected me on just the other day? What do you mean? Which one? When I put emphasis on the wrong word.

Oh, you do it all the time. Oh, okay. Well, that cleared it up. You added a... I feel like you added a syllable to a word the other day, but I don't know about the emphasis. I feel like I've been fighting this thing. I just want somebody...

I don't know if this is medically possible. I want someone to just poke a hole in my face and just let it kind of drain out. I think it's the cats. You get cats. It's not cats, though. I've had cats for a while, and it's just... You got a new one, though.

I got a new one i mean four months ago dude i was on a plane the other day i had a full-size lab across the across the really no cage not just hanging out and everybody everyone is across from me everybody all the flight attendants are like acting like they'd never seen a dog before was it a friendly dog did it behave it was fine okay but i'm like my sinuses were just on fire really the whole time just from a dog before. Was it a friendly dog? Did it behave itself? It was fine. But my sinuses were just on fire the whole time. Really? Just from a dog being there? Yeah. Maybe that is what's

happening. I'm ready to move to a petless society. What's the country where they have no pets? Is there one? I've never heard that. I think you're going to have Antarctica. Where they have no pets or they're not allowed to have pets? Either way. I think you're allowed to have pets? Either way.

I think you're going to have to give away some freedoms if you want to live in a place where you're not allowed to have pets. Yeah, that's true. We might need to pick up the pace on some of these. Okay, my bad, my bad, my bad. Look at us, dude. Sorry about that. We're used to a two-hour podcast. I know.

We're used to really stretching out. Kyle Scott. At the risk of sounding like a jerk, how often do you guys find yourself bombing in front of an audience? Bates, you can take this one. Does it happen often? Do you bomb less as you get more chances to do stand-up? How do you recover from bombing in front of an audience?

On a serious note, I appreciate you all persisting through those times when you bomb. Look, bombing happens all the time you have bad sets i i don't think um like the sort of caricature of a bomb where it's like just a disaster that's few and far between and as you get better at comedy you just learn how to handle that better and i think you're in fewer situations where that's possible where like the setup is a nightmare like that corporate gig i had right a few weeks ago yeah those don't happen that

often um but yeah you still you know not every set's great yeah because i don't bomb in the traditional sense at all anymore but i've also uh invented a wave and i say we're having a good time which helps me a lot yes i have some, like you're talking about corporate gig, where it's like, it's a tough situation. But even then, I'm not bombing. But I got so much material now that I've developed over the years to where I'm like, all right, this is not working. Maybe sometimes I think I can get a little weird, where it's like people know me, they buy tickets to come see me, and then I'm in a corporate environment where it's like there's a chance that nobody or only a few people in the audience know who i am yeah yeah and now they're like what's this guy doing so i go back to some of the older sure uh you know stuff so yeah yeah i mean my last two bombs have been two of my higher paying corporate gigs

yeah you think those are going to be the best, but often they're not. Well, the buyers, I find in those situations, know your comedy, love you. They enjoy you. So they reach out and they get you hired. And then, you know, you just.

Nobody else does. You just deal with a room full of people that may not even be fans of comedy. Right. And oftentimes a corporate gig, it's like they're in there listening to people talk all day so even though you're funnier at talking than the rest of the people they're still tired of hearing talking yeah right yeah i agree and then some guys coming in talking about you

know i used to drink a lot and they're like okay well we still drink a lot. I'm blocked out right now. I've pooped in a David's Bridal. Yeah. Yeah. We are David's Bridal. Who's turn? Elijah Brown. I'm nearly 40 years old.

How old is too old to start a career in stand-up? Two in a row for Brian. Am I crazy for wanting to pursue this? Yes. I say this. If you have kids that are young, yes. If you're single, go for it. Well, I was going to say the same thing.

I started when I was 35, but I was single. To me, that's more important than your age is your family situation. If you have young kids. Your life situation. Your life situation. Your job and everything. Because you're not going to just become a star overnight. It's going to take a long time.

You're not going to make any money. It took me, I mean, really from the time I went full time, it took four years to make any kind of money. But I was already doing it six you know, six years prior to going full-time. So you're looking at 10 years before I actually was making any money with comedy. But I do have, I'll offer a counter to that. In Nashville alone, I can think of people who have great jobs and a family and they come to open mics and they've gotten very funny and they get to do shows and travel a little bit and uh and and that's true enjoy doing comedy and their kids hate them no i mean i'm thinking of like uh

beau our friend beau who's like a who was a doctor and he has adult children but yeah he has adult kids yeah i guess 40 you might not have so yeah bows Yeah, Bo is also, I think, retired and has made himself a ton of money probably. I don't know his bank account, but he probably made himself a ton of money. At 40, his kids could be close to grown. Yeah. Could be. And then that would make it easier. I mean, Brian Covington is a very funny comic here in Nashville.

He gets to do great shows, but he's got a great family life. Right. And his wife comes to a lot of his shows. She does. Very supportive. So that's a big part of it, too. Is your wife into it, and does she understand how much you'll be gone? Right.

So I think the short answer is, no, it's not too old, but it's going to cause, depending on your life situation, it's going to force you to make some sacrifices. And ask yourself, are you an alcoholic? You know what I mean? Because if you are, it gonna get worse that's for sure that every day now how about this last name brian i want to see you tackle this this is crazy cosmo krumen knocker i think so okay i like it i think it's fat cosmo's great name yeah cos. Cosmo Kramer. Cosmo Kramer. That's a reference to that? I don't know. Okay.

Is it my turn to read? Yeah, I think so. I saw Dusty at the Tempe Improv. A few hours before the show, I got the wild idea to dress like Dusty to just sit in the crowd and laugh and enjoy the show. My wife talked me out of it, but I am really regretting listening to her now. I just wanted to know what Dusty would think of

performing in front of a crowd full of imitators. Would you be into it? Well, I'll tell you this. I've done shows all over the place, and people sometimes will go, some of the wait staff will go, oh, there's people in the audience dressed like you. And then I'll make a joke about it and then get no real reaction. And then after the show, find out they're not dressed like me. That's just how they dress.

So a lot of people, a homeless guy who wandered in. Yeah. A lot of people look like me. And depending on where you're at, when I go to Florida, there'll be a lot of people in the audience. It looks like me.

Yeah. And it's like, people just look like this. And that's what, when people think I'm ripping off Judah Friedlander out here, it's like a lot of people look like me and uh but what about that guy uh but yeah i mean this cosmo but once in a while people do dress like me and i am into it i wouldn't mind if the whole audience was dressed like me i'd go well at least these guys are my fans and let's get into it it's about

to get weird in this show because you're into what I do. There was a guy in Lexington at your show that we did that was very much like you. Oh, yeah. Oh, he even had the belt with the name on it. You have a very easily, I don't know the word. It's easy to do you.

Yeah. Costume-wise. Yeah, because you have a good time. You dress like me and then you go, this is fun. But if you had to dress up as me or Brian or even Nate, what would you even do? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't know that there would be a – I mean, if you dress like you, you're like almost dressing like me. But, you know, you got a hat and a beard and a hoodie. Some of those leaves you've been collecting

yeah maybe turn the hoodie around backwards put some popcorn in the hoodie that was an old reference oh yeah were you saying

like a fat suit is that what you meant just now maybe yeah stuff some leaves yeah one of the sumo wrestler suits

alright those are the comments thank you everybody let's get into it yeah i mean i got a good 10 minutes to talk about furniture we're gonna stretch out a little bit yeah we are um all right this week we're talking about furniture i gotta ask you guys when you come home and have a hard night hard week yeah whatever do you have a place that is your designated place to sit i don't and i wish i did because I feel like that was a hallmark of my childhood.

My dad had his chair, right? You come home and you sit in your chair. It was a recliner? Like a lazy boy. Like a lazy boy, yeah. Yeah, yeah, and it looked like just that feeling. It must be great. I've never had that, and I wish I did.

Do you have a chair, Dusty? Now, this is what I do. I come home after a hard weekend on the road and my wife goes, here, take this baby. And I need to do something with myself. I've been here with kids all weekend and I need just a little bit of time to be myself. And then so I'm on the couch, if I'm lucky, with two kids. And it's great. I love it.

I do love it. But yeah, I mean, it's like, oh, I'm tired. She's like, well, she's like, I'm lucky with two kids and it's great. I love it. I do love it. But yeah, I mean, it's like, oh, I'm tired. She's like, well, she's like, I'm tired of the new. You've been out hanging out with your buddies, having a blast, having a blast. And I've been here and she's like, I love being with the kids, but I'm, you know. You need a break every now and then.

I need a break. Do you have a chair, Brian? No, I have a spot on the couch, but. A spot on the couch? That's where you take all your videos. I've seen your spot on the couch. Oh, I think I know a spot on the couch, but. A spot on the couch? That's where you take all your videos. I've seen your spot on the couch. Oh, I think I know the spot on your couch, too. Your dog and your daughter there.

Yeah, and at the end, right, with the armrest there. Yeah. I got to say, I think a couch is overrated. It's going to surprise the two of y'all that I think that. Yeah. But wouldn't you rather have three individual seats yeah than a couch i mean i do have some comfortable chairs we have a what are you talking about you don't want an armrest with each arm i have an armrest on the couch you want to sit that close let's say you have to put three

people on the couch you want to sit that close to another person well i mean well maybe there's life there's not three adults in our house. Okay, then why have a couch? Sometimes I like to sit there, and then if there's nobody out, I'll just stretch out and keep watching television. Lay down? Yeah. Okay. Before I got married, I had this set up going. I had a couch, and I had taken all the back cushions off, and then I had had a king size blanket that I would put on it. And then I could, I could lay on one part of the king size blanket and then pull the other side over me. So I created like a little pocket and then I would have a pillow. And then I had a wireless keyboard and mouse where I had a, and then I had a big monitor for a computer and I could just kick back, watch YouTube videos and just for hours. And that was before I

was married, before I had kids and I could just do that. So maybe you're right about sitting on a couch, but the whole laying, watching TV on a couch, I mean, that is where it's at. And this was back when YouTube was great i mean you watch you watch some you know crazy video shark now you watch a crazy video and then it rolls you right into the next one yeah now you watch a crazy video the next one is some mainstream media plug-in in there and i'm like well i'm not trying to watch this i'm trying to get away from this about the moonlight yeah i mean that's you know I you know I learned a lot of things right right

yeah I remember dude the best couch you ever had I remember sophomore year of college a friend of mine's older brother had a couch yeah and he at his apartment and he's like I'm graduating if y'all want this couch you can have it for free and we showed up thinking it'd be

this you know little futon or whatever. We walk in, it's the nicest couch. It's like too nice for a college kid's apartment. Yeah. Probably $1,400, $1,500 couch. And we were like, oh, dude, it was huge. It like took up half our dorm room, but we carry that thing back.

Oh, you're in a dorm room. And we carried it to our dorm room. And it was, I mean, the envy of the whole floor. Yeah. They have this nice couch. Like this guy wasn't big enough. They had to do it on a tilt. Well, it there.

I mean, we brought a tape measure. It barely fit in the room. And I think it actually compromised how far the door could open. But it was one of those like we're willing to make the sacrifice. It's that nice of a couch. And I actually retract my statement about couches earlier because i'm remembering how good it felt to just lounge on get zontal on that couch dude yeah after class or something i'm thinking that's the problem you you the couch was too good yeah and now no couch compared and no couch has compared to that. To that memory. Yeah. Couches are overrated.

Oh, man. That was a great couch. Yeah. We used to go back and just watch Maury. Oh, yeah. After class. Underrated show. I miss that couch.

I love the show. There's like a screenwriting. I was listening to some person talking about screenwriting. And they're talking about when you're combing through your life for things, like stories about your life. A good way to think about it is the cars that you've driven. Think about all the cars you've driven and that'll place you in your head in those different times of your life. But I think it works for couches too. Because even just talking about it is taking me back and I'm thinking about all the times I spent on that couch.

I do want to do that now. I've done it with cars yeah i do it with music but i i've had a lot of couches too i've lived in a lot of places yeah i'm guessing i mean wild a wild range of quality of couches for you too you know we had a couch one time that we sewed or we sawed the back legs off of it, those little ones. Yeah. We sawed those off so that it would have a little tilt to it and had a real, like when you sat in it, you really lean back in it. Oh, a tilt backwards. Yeah. I was going to say, a tilt forward sounds like a nightmare.

Yeah, a real tilt backwards. Yeah. Have you ever, in the time of your life, the couch has been your bed? Yeah, to some degree, yeah. Growing up, I lived in a two-bedroom trailer with four people altogether. So the couch was your bed? Yeah, for a long time, yeah. I just meant as an adult, like, you ever had a...

Not some sad, poor childhood idiot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're looking for more, like, fun stuff. I thought I'd be like in your 20ss me and a bunch of buddies and that was but no that was your childhood no never as an adult no i didn't my senior year of college i just a mattress on the floor that's about as close as i've gotten i've had a mattress on the floor a couple of times yeah yeah sad looking when you had a couch in your dorm room, did you guys have bunk beds? We had, my sophomore year, I had a quad. So we had a common room in between.

Right. So we put bunk, we actually lofted the beds in each side of it. So in the middle, you just had room for the couch and a TV or whatever you wanted in there. And half that room was that couch. I mean, it was so deep. Oh, yeah. That it was cumbersome in a lot of ways, but it was awesome, man. Oh, I see. I had a, I lived in a house when I first moved to Nashville

and I had a queen size mattress and box springs and the stairwell was so small that I couldn't get the box spring up. So Joe Kelly helped me. We sawed the box springs and folded it and then carried it up the stairs and then unfolded it out. It worked great. Really? Yeah. It's awesome. Folded the couch in half.

Yeah. No, no, not couch. Box springs. Box springs. Yeah. That's crazy. What's the longest you've ever had a mattress? Oh, gosh.

I have a joke about it. I mean, I had a mattress that I think my sister gave to me. I bought a trailer that she used to live in, and I had a mattress that I think my sister gave to me. I bought a trailer that she used to live in. And I think the mattress was still in there. Who knows how long they had it. And then I had it for a couple of years in that trailer. And then I took it to Charleston and it moved with me several places. And this was when I was an alcoholic and I was living a rough life and a lot of things happened to that mattress. And I moved from one place to another and I flew off the back of the truck, landed on a bridge,

got ran over. I picked it up. It was all bent up. And I kept that until I quit drinking. I had that mattress and I threw that mattress in a dumpster and it was so worn out that when I threw it in the dumpster, it was able to just fold over. I mean, I bet I had it. What would that? That would have been 2012. I bet I had it for, you know, 14 years. Yeah. And then who knows how long it had been around before then.

Yeah. Decades. Yeah. And then who knows how long it had been around before then. Yeah. Decades. Yeah. Yeah. My older brother's bed, when I took his room when he moved out, that mattress was still around. I think it's still in my parents' house. Oh, yeah. I mean, 30 years maybe.

Oh, man. It's hard to reuse, I guess, now. Yeah. Just flip it over every now and then. Oh, yeah. Anytime it feels weird, just flip it over, dude. Flip it on side. Whatever you need to do.

The average age of a mattress is seven years. Okay. Seven. They do gain weight over time. Oh, they gain a lot of weight. Mine was very heavy and flimsy. You can only guess why they gain weight. Skin cells, dust mites.

That's for the mattress. That makes them. Yeah. Back to couches. I don't know if there's a difference between a sofa and a couch. I wouldn't be able to tell you. I feel like it would be in the north, they call it a sofa. In the south, we call it a couch.

That's what I would think. A sofa's average life expectancy is 2,958 days. That's roughly eight years. A sofa's life expectancy? Okay. A sofa's never end. Yeah. We eat on average 13 times a month, we eat on the couch.

Yeah. It's a little low? Yeah, I want to say I'm on the right end of that bell curve for sure yeah i would only say 13 because i'm gone a good bit of days yeah is there a piece of furniture that you've always wanted for your house that you've yet to get besides the walk-in cooler i guess that would be furniture yeah uh man i don't know't know. I'd like a lazy boy. There's no room in my house right now to have a lazy boy chair, but I would want a throne. Every man needs a throne in his house, right?

Yeah, I would like that, too. Just to kick back. You tell the kids you're not allowed on it. Just sit there and complain about stuff. Just be... Yeah. It sounds great. I would like that.

I got a small recliner that I like, but a nice, thinking about it, I may go get one. I got a Netflix special now. I may go get a recliner. There you go. Yeah, you can go get a chair if you want it. I don't have a Lexus SUV that a lot of people in the Nateland Facebook group think I have. Should we clarify that? Yeah, let's clear it.

Dusty and I did a video with R rated red where we ate hot chicken around nashville in the video dusty picks me up in a lexus yeah and there are a lot of comments can't believe dusty's driving a lexus didn't strike me as a lexus suv guy but what's the real story well you know the rated red people had the lexus all wired up with uh cameras the gopros and microphones so they so i just drove their car yes so that wasn't dusty's personal car in the video that needs to be made clear yes yeah i drive i have a toyota tacoma and a lot of mercedes and a lot of times a lot of times i'm driving a toyota corolla out here yeah i love that car we call it the zipper i can just zip around in that thing and it is great i don't worry about getting it dinged up it's been dinged up a bit you've been in some wrecks

not wrecks but i it gets dinged up well if you haven't seen the video it's a very funny video that these guys are in so So go check that out. It is funny. It turned out very, very good. And I know when you're not eating hot chicken, you're eating HelloFresh. Yeah, I don't even like to eat a lot of fried chicken, but I do do it, though. Hello, folks, to HelloFresh. With HelloFresh, you get fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered.

Fresh, you get fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That is why it's America's number one meal kit. Whether you're trying to save money, eat better, or stress less, HelloFresh is there to help. But then we do have a room with a TV, and I had a spot. Now, it's got to stay there because i drilled giant holes in the wall to hang a tv hanger yeah and i never wanted to move it but uh yeah i mean i like uh i like the tv to be in a hot spot you know high up on the wall high as it can get it's it's a bit of a you know the wall kind of starts to tilt a bit so the last few years i've been obsessed with this subreddit called tv too high where you uh where they basically roast people who have their television too high

in their house now ideally the television should be eye level right and you shouldn't have to look back like you're at an imax right you don't want to hurt your neck. The problem is the instinct is to put the television right above a fireplace or on the mantle. But that's usually too high. So we have to rethink that. This subreddit is a blast, dude. Mine's not that high. It's completely changed. What do you think about that particular height?

I'd say that's a common height. There's a lot going on on the coffee table there. Oh, geez a common height don't show that one my bad my bad everybody we won't show that let me find a we find a good all of these have been fine so far well hold on okay i don't know what that was yeah yeah uh this is reddit so i'm sorry like here's a good example that's too high but let's go back to that one for a second okay if you have that view don't be watching tv exactly put it on a different wall yeah now i'd say even here i'll say this the television's pretty high in nate's nate's place but they have a mount that you can pull yeah they have a nice adjustable you can pull it down to get at a good height right but this has totally changed the way i go to friends houses and i just

not judge but i'm so aware this is like like perfect height. Yeah, I think so. Right here. Yeah. Right above. I mean, it's mounted. It doesn't even need to be mounted. It's right above the television stand. That's where you want it. I agree.

Our TV is above the mantle, above the fireplace. Oh, brutal. Now, in our defense, though, we cut the back legs off our couch, so it tilts. Exactly. So we're kind of looking directly at exactly you want that's what you want to do i was listening to that how much of a tilt are we was that a joke as a callback to dusty's i know that you don't you know ruth ain't having the legs cut off the couch eleanor with a salt yeah one of those adirondack chairs yeah uh well i was just going to say i looked up tvs current prices because i had no idea and of course there's a lot of deals right now for

the super bowl that's when they try to get you the most expensive tvs i could see that you could buy like in a normal store like best buy or whatever was five thousand dollars five thousand and what is it like 98 inch 4 5K, whatever the top K is. What kind of room are you dealing with when you have a 98-inch TV? You ever go to somebody's house and they have a huge TV, but the living room's real small? It's like, you don't need this. Why are we? I can't see.

I agree. I need sunglasses to watch TV. I want to turn my head to see stuff on TV. You remember when the TVs had a little bend on it for a second? I feel like they were trying to make that a thing. Curves. Maybe they still are. Now, computer monitors, they still make curved in a lot of ways.

If you get a big, you can get a huge, wide monitor that's curved, that kind of envelops you in it. Oh, yeah. That's fun. It's tougher to do in a TV situation. That kind of envelops you in it. Oh, yeah. That's fun.

It's tougher to do in a TV situation. I read where desk chairs were basically invented by Charles Darwin. Oh. He was doing a lot of research, and he wanted wheels on his chair so he could quickly go back and forth on his stuff. From what to what, do you think? He said a bunch of desks? From a beaker to, I don't know, whateverles darwin was doing he's trying to help in that evolution of hunching our backs yeah that's right yeah he's i thought that was that is interesting yeah he never gets credit for that you know he just gets credit for other stuff do you guys ever check into a hotel and be like, what is this?

Oh, all the time. I've been chronicling this a little bit on social media. It's been a lot of fun for me. I've just had a lot of bad hotel furniture lately. I think it's dusty every time. I think it's not plugged in up there. What is? There's a signal.

Sometimes I'll check into a hotel and there'll be like a desk and a couch and I'll be like, oh, this is awesome. I got a lot of places to sit. And then I spend the entire weekend sitting on the bed. Of course. I do too. Now, what do you think about this chair? I was at a hotel and this was just set up in the corner. It looks like an ottoman that kind of threw a half of a back onto.'re like we got all these ottomans and all these extra backrest and i want to go what do you expect anyone to do

you can't even set a suitcase on it yeah it's just a waste i had here's another one this is a bit of a fainting couch i mean this took up half of a of of a Hampton Inn. This is, uh, I think they call this a chaise lounge and it's, uh, this is not a particularly good design. That, are you serious? I think so. I've never heard of a chaise lounge and I don't, is that how you say it? A chaise? I think it's chaise. Okay. Oh yeah. I've heard of that. Bit of a debate. I would have turned around for sure. But this is like a long, it looks almost like a therapist chair, but there's only a back on one side of it. And you go, what do you envision?

This is the kind of thing for Brian, like sitting on the end of the couch. He's got one armrest. Well, you want to ask whoever designed this hotel room, what do you envision me doing? I get in. I don't know what they expect me to do with my suitcase, but I just sit on that like Kate Winslet in Titanic. That's what I think of. But it made me like one of your French girl.

This is what it looks like. This is what I think was happening. They are on some kind of website for hotel furniture and they're clicking along and they go oh this is on sale and then they're 50 off that's and all the thought and they're like oh we could get a lot of these they're like it looks good i don't think that looks good at all i'm saying what what hotel is this uh i don't i don't remember an upscale hotel no because it looks like somebody trying to look middle of the road i would say middle of the road yeah this is like a hampton inn level if this were right around there it could be

placed on the wall in a way that that it shouldn't be in this corner like that it should be up against the wall well here's what you do you it out. And then my reaction would have been, wow, this hotel room is very spacious. Yeah. Instead of it's cramped. And I don't know what that is in the corner. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

If you guys were president, how would you decorate the White House? Like, what's one bestie slay touch? I think about this a lot because, A, I watch the West Wing all the time. And they talk about it a little bit. When you show up and you get the Oval Office, you can put anything you want in it. Basically, any national museum, you can go take whatever you want, just put it in the Oval Office. So, this is what Joe Biden's looks like right now. You can get any paintings you want in there, any desk, any furniture. You can arrange the couches any way you want and what would you have in i'd get

some old couches and i'd get some lava lamps and probably some salvador dali paintings and i'd make it look like real like a stoner uh kind of kind of room there and uh just be like a my trailer looked in the early 2000s some blinds yeah some blinds just Yeah, some blinds. Just old. Instead of the door, those beads that I'm going to walk through. Yeah, and just like an old rug. Fabric poster of Jimi Hendrix over there. Yeah, no paint. I said Salvador Dali paintings. I mean posters.

Oh, posters. I'd get like that Pink Floyd one with all the women sitting on the side of the tub. Right. And not framed. Not framed. Duct tape. Duct tape or thumbtacks. Yeah.

Thumbtacks in the oval. And a lot of holes in the paint poster where you can see you've moved it a lot. Maybe some empty liquor bottles on the shelf. On the shelf. Yeah. And not even an expensive liquor brand. Just something you're proud of. Yeah, Evan Williams, early times.

Maybe like Jack Daniel's Honey, something fun. Yeah, yeah. And you don't remember the good times you had. Yeah, take down all those statues from the Museum of Modern Art. Or put like a beanie on this head. Right. Some sunglasses. Sure.

Maybe a mini fridge. Yeah, yeah. You'd go to Goodwill and get you some stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Desk-wise, no desk. You'd go to Goodwill and get you some stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Desk-wise, no desk. You'd just be on the couch.

Yeah, maybe a folding table where we would be playing beer pong. Folding table. Yeah. This desk, this is the most famous desk probably of all time. You know what this desk is called? The presidential desk right here? The Roosevelt. Pretty darn close. I do, pretty darn close to yeah the resolute desk oh wow have you heard that now before this is the desk that most of the modern presidents have used though you can choose

some people chose not to use it it was made from i think i said i can't remember the the uh resolute was a ship who chose not to use yeah what do they do with it put it in the closetolute was a ship. Who chose not to use it? Yeah, and what did they do with it? Put it in the closet? Yeah, there's a lot of storage at the White House. You go, I'd rather not use that particular desk. Oh, it weighs 1,300 pounds. Yeah. And there's a red button you use to call aides.

There's a red button that you've probably heard of, a red button on the desk. It became famous for people thinking it was like, that's the nuclear button. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Right, where you want to launch nukes at Russia. You just hit the button. But really, all it's ever done is just call somebody to come in. Yeah. The legend is that Trump, it was just a Diet Coke button.

Oh, yeah. He would press it, and then somebody would come in with a Diet Coke on a silver platter, he would press that all the time and who wouldn't do that's what i'm saying if you're the president like you're like i got some things like you may maybe maybe a little quirky thing what would your red button be on your fold-out table oh man what would my red button be let me think about that i don't know someone to come change the tv uh you know like the old school days my dad had a little intercom at his house. Yeah. And he had a satellite dish.

Mm-hmm. And he had remotes for everything, but there was one button that he would have to push to go turn the satellite dish off to go back to regular TV that he didn't have a button for. So he would hit the intercom. He'd go, hey, come in the living room. And I'd come in. He he goes push that button up there so that's what you would have yeah something like that yeah here's me at a uh at the resolute desk wow and uh that's not the real one obviously that's at the george bush presidential library

in dallas texas but they have a full-size replica of the oval office in there and they let you sit at the resolute desk i gotta tell you you do feel powerful yeah yeah you look powerful i think the desk i think all of that the chair all of that is important because you sit in it and you're like all right that's a nice desk i may keep the desk okay Okay. But still do beer pong of sorts on the desk. Beer pong on the Resolute desk is crazy. I don't drink anymore, but just the idea. We would just do it with sweet tea or whatever.

Well, nobody plays beer pong with beer anymore. Oh, yeah. Too sanitary. Just water in the cups. And you drink a beer while you play. But nobody's filling the cups up with beer anymore. That's weak. That's weak. That's weak.

I think it's much cleaner. That's what it's all about. Overall better experience. It is about the bit of the germs too. You know, it's like, hey, you're like, you know, when, when somebody hits it, not only is it a punishment that you have to drink the beer, but you also, you know, you have to drink the germs, you know,

be better at the game. Right. And we would always put it in its own solo cup of water. Sure. And run it around. Yeah. That's how you clean it off. For half a second.

Yeah. And then you take it out. Yeah. That's how you clean it off. Yeah. There was no COVID back then when we were doing that. Sure. I'll tell you that.

Sure. Yeah. What about a pool table? Would you consider that furniture? No, I don't think so. I think the way, what is, what would you, what would the definition that furniture? No, I don't think so. I think what is what would you what would the definition of furniture? I think it's you have to interact with it in some like sit in it or on it or. I would say yes to a pool table being furniture.

Furniture TV wouldn't fit that definition. I don't think TV is furniture. Oh, you don't know. OK, well, I think like your couch and everything in relation to where the TV is set up is a furniture discussion. TV has gone through this evolution to where at some point, TV used to be in a big wooden box that sat on the floor. So it was almost like the Resolute desk. Yep. And it was that heavy.

And now it just can hang on the wall. So it might have lost its furniture status. That's true. Because as a kid, that's where we put a lot of stuff on. Yeah. It was the big. My mom had her Christmas village on top of the TV. You know, she had set up all her little houses.

My grandmother had on top of a grand piano. And there was a million things on top of that. Oh, yeah. Picture frames, plants, and everything. Is that furniture? The way she was using it. And you do sit down at the piano. You do sit down. I guess the piano seat is furniture, but not the piano.

Right. I guess by that definition, a guitar is furniture. Yeah. Yeah. A flute. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm.

I don't think you go to a furniture store looking for a saxophone. You got flutes in here, guys? You don't have flutes at a furniture store. Are you kidding me? What about a pinball machine? Same thing? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think pinball machines furniture, but there's something about a pool table. I get it. You got the wooden, you got leather pockets. Or you think of a nice pool table. A nice pool table, yeah.

Ping pong table, no? No. Yeah. It'd have to be very nice. I might put a ping pong table in the Oval Office. I'd be fun. There's plenty of room in there, and that's kind of a fun... When world leaders come, you make decisions based on who wins the ping pong match well you go it's a fun icebreaker yeah you know bring a king of over

whatever and you go let's play a little game yeah quick yeah you know to help with north korea they love ping pong yeah you know if we had a ping pong table in the oval office i find it easy to believe that presidents have putted balls in the ovalval Office, right? You know, into a nice glass. Yeah. What's the difference between that and a ping pong table? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you're probably right. I think like a stairmaster or treadmill is probably one of the, it becomes furniture.

Sure, sure, sure. I have, I just got a treadmill in front of my desk. Oh, yeah. Because I have a standing desk. Oh, yeah? Because I have a standing desk. Oh, yeah. Which are increasingly common, I think. But I have one in my house. And I just leave it up.

And I put a walking pad. It's called a treadmill that you can't run on it, basically. But, dude, it's awesome, man. I think it's going to change my life. We have a treadmill at home that we use. I mean, we love it. We love our treadmill. We use it all the time. Do you put it on a desk in front of it my life. We have a treadmill at home that we use. I mean, we love it. We love our treadmill. We use it all the time.

Do you put it on a desk in front of it or anything? We have a TV. We have a TV that's too high. Yeah. Just walking like that all day. Yeah. But I'll sit there, and I got to answer emails or something or whatever. I'll just walk as I'm doing it.

And you kind of forget that you're doing it, man. Yeah. And I'll walk eight miles. I don't believe you're wrapping the whole time.'m doing it. And you kind of forget that you're doing it. And I'll walk eight miles. I don't believe you're wrapping the whole time. Just doing stuff. Losing yourself. Just doing one of those. Mom, spaghetti, get up here.

You have a lot of misspellings because you're walking and hitting the enter? I did have to find the right speed to walk at where it was possible to type. Because when you walk as fast as you want to walk it's a it's i can't do anything yeah on the computer but if i'm at about 2.6 miles per hour i can work and not even realize i'm walking that's awesome yeah it's pretty great i mean they say uh sitting is the new smoky sitting is the new smoke have you heard that let's see not well i guess but not nearly as cool though i had someone message me about how much they were disappointed in my special that i had i glorified cigarettes and i'm like do you not really get the irony of what i'm saying here i mean i'm i'm i'm pretending as if i'm glorifying cigarettes, but I'm also being like, I quit.

If I thought cigarettes were so great, would I have quit? Yeah. I like doing it, but obviously it's horrible for you. Of course. It made me feel awful. Of course. Yeah. Do I love it?

Yeah, of course I do. But is it cool? Yeah. Yeah. Should you be watching Dusty Special for health advice? Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. Do you know that we put out that clip of the green beans, the Western Sousan green beans?

And people are arguing about how much they eat the green beans at a buffet. I'm not saying you don't have some sometimes, but you don't go, you know what? The Golden Corral has really good green beans. They're not the star of the show. Yeah, I think I'd like to pop in there and get the green beans. And they're like, why were they refilling them? And I'm like, I don't know, over time, maybe they get dehydrated. They dry out in the bottom and you got to pour some more in there.

It's like, don't try to argue with the jokes here. McDonald's has cinnamon rolls. Yeah. I'm sure they're good. You may get it once may get it once you may get it once in a while but if they take cinnamon rolls off the menu nobody's going well there's no reason to go to mcdonald's exactly that's what that's all we're saying people love to argue i'm just saying don't act like now you're in their fan in the flames though let's be honest of it. Don't stop arguing. Well, that's probably a good place to wrap it up. You think so?

We probably need to. Okay, let's do it. Dusty, where are you going to be this weekend? I just want to say I love everybody. Should we just say that? Yeah. I feel like when Nate's not here sometimes when it ends, I feel weird about the way it wraps. No, not the way sometimes when it ends, I feel weird about-

The way it wraps? No, not the way it wraps, but just, I don't know. I overthink how everything went. I think this is a great podcast. None of this came across as to whatever. I think this is a great podcast. Okay. This weekend, I'm going to be part of the Grand Ole Opry.

I want to be part of the showcase of the Opry. Sometimes I've pitched the Opry before, and people will think that it's my show. I'll be part of the Opry show. But then coming weeks, you know, I'll be in February. I'll be in Milwaukee at the Improv. I'll be in Tulsa, Oklahoma and Indianapolis. Nice. So just if you're in those areas, it's going to be hot.

It's going to be fun. And it's all new stuff from the special. All new stuff. I got a totally new hour. How about it? I mean, it's amazing. Yeah, it's going to be hot. That it's all new stuff from the special. All new stuff. I got a totally new hour. How about it? I mean, it's going to be hot. That's the most impressive thing to me. Yeah, thank you.

I'm going to be in Palatka, Florida. People told me how to pronounce it. Palatka. Yeah, I think I was saying Palatka, but it's Palatka, Florida. February 17th. Let's ask this, though. Will you be taking your shirt off? Depends on what the weather's like.

February still could be dicey. Not at the show though. Who knows, man? We'll see. Could do a little Bert Kreischer at church, church of the Heights. Yeah. Bates Kreischer in here.

My big closer. Yeah. Although he, he starts with it. Doesn't he? Yeah. Uh, February 29th.

I met the comedy catch in Chattanooga. All right. Hot club. Yeah. My buddy starts with it, doesn't he? Yeah. February 29th, I'm at the Comedy Catch in Chattanooga. All right. Nice, dude. Hot club. Yeah, my buddy Alex Valuto, who's been on this podcast, is coming with me there. All right. And then March 1st, the next day, Hudsonville, Michigan at Fellowship Church. Nice, dude.

I'd like to say Comedy Catch, great green room experience. Yeah. Great green room, and Danielle is an excellent swimmer. Danielle's the best. This weekend, I'm going to the Windy City, huh? Chicago, Illinois at Zany's Comedy Club in Old Town, Chicago. Five shows. One show Thursday, two Friday, two Saturday.

I'm doing a ton of press for it. I'm hoping I can pack those out. I'm excited to be back. So Chicago this weekend, if you're in the Chicago area, go see Aaron. Go see Aaron. It'd be great.

He's in Old Town. Yeah. All right. That's it. Brian, you want to close it out? Yes. As always, we love you guys.

None of this is lost on us right and Nate will be back next week as far as we know boom Dusty will be gone what

I don't know maybe but we're having a good time alright well we'll see who's here next week but I bet I'll be here and yeah we're having a good time

thanks that's it bye alright thank y'all. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the Audioboom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.