The Nateland Podcast - #2 The Second Episode

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

This Episode we talk about UFOs, Joey Chestnut, some comedy talk, and ‘Do any of us have anything that could be watched as a Netflix Documentary?’.   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]  

What's up everybody this is Nate Bargetze you listen to the Nate Land podcast episode 2 this episode we talk about UFOs Joey Chestnut little comedy talk and we talk about any did any of us have anything that could be listed as that could be watched as a Netflix documentary. So everybody, just check this episode out. What's up, everybody? This is Nate Bargatze at the Nateland podcast. This is the second episode. The first one, I think that we're going to plan on releasing both. We released today, or the day that this is, July 8th, which is my daughter's birthday. Happy birthday, Harper. So we don't know. We don't know how this...

It's kind of weird to do the second episode, and we've had no real feedback. You know? Yeah. Is that good? We don't know if we're doing right or wrong. It could be real bad uh i mean what if people hate it so far they've watched the first one no one's even watching the second yeah not even giving us a chance do you read youtube comments of your own stuff uh i've gone through

some hole like i mean you're getting uh some uh rabbit hole is that what they say? I don't do it often. I'm pretty good about it. So right now I have social medias all off my phone. So I don't have it. I'm not really checking it much. And I feel like that's helped, you know, just especially now, like when we're just at home and it's like you just end up just staring at it all night.

And I'll do it like I said. I'll try to watch TV, and then you end up just looking at your phone. I get so annoyed with myself that I'm like watching TV. It's not like I'm reading a book or something that feels like a lot of work. It's just watching a show. And so I'll just end up scrolling and looking at my phone. So I took everything off my phone right now. And I have looked at YouTube comments. Sometimes, I don't know, occasionally you go check and then start looking at some stuff.

YouTube's the most brutal. It's awful, man. Yeah, YouTube's tough. People aren't there. It's the Wild West. I mean, they go after you hard. And I've tried to think. I mean, they go after you hard. And I've tried to think. I mean, I did it recently.

And it can affect you. It affects how you do comedy. You realize. I always get, like I say, um a lot or um a lot. And so then I've consciously tried to think of that. Sometimes during my act, and I'll try not to say it. It still does. You're going to say it. It still does. You're going to say it.

Everybody says it. That person that comments says it. Yeah, exactly. So it's just the way we talk and the humans talk. As they think, they use that. I find the people who defend you almost hurt your feelings more. Yeah. Because I'll be like, everyone will just be ripping me

and then some old lady will be like, look guys, he's probably new. Just, you know, come on. Come to Slack, he'll get better. Just keep doing it. Yeah, you've been doing it 10 years. Yeah. Yeah, those are tough.

Well, people be nice. You know, because people always, you never post the nice stuff. People always post the mean comments. So that probably doesn't help that they're the ones that get the most. If they get anything, it's that you post the mean ones. But the mean ones can sometimes be the funniest or, you know. So, like, that's why you end up doing it.

I mean, the nice ones are always truly appreciated when everybody's like, it's great. And there's definitely more of those than there is the hate from it. Maybe not on YouTube comments. YouTube comments, I mean, they go through and it's go, pull up, let's see. You want to see? Yeah, I do. I'm trying to think if I deserve. I think it's because you have total anonymity on YouTube, right?

It's not linked to any of your, like on Facebook, you click and then there's your personal Facebook. Yeah. So you're going to be less likely to just trash a stranger, I feel like. Yeah, you know, that's like – I've heard people talk about that where you should have to – like on social media, you should have to have your name next to it. Like it don't matter what it is. If you're leaving a comment, you should have to have your real name. in a comment you should have to have your real name so that would you know because yeah you're not going to be like a crazy person with you know if you it's like your actual name that people can your jobs right there because i mean look people regular people can get fired from their jobs and

you know it's not like it's just this celebrity cancel culture thing it's a regular person that works at wendy's could be just destroyed and let go because they go on a rant or something. And so they should have to put your real name, you know, one million views. I don't think guys don't worry about that. I don't think real names would keep the things that people are saying about me at bay at all. I mean, because everybody would just agree with him. Well, you have people in your comments that are more famous than you. They're doing better in life than you.

Like, I'm doing better than this guy. Yeah, pull up one of these. Yeah, click. It doesn't matter. I don't know which one. Teen Mom. It's our first kid. I don't know if we had a kid too late in life.

Sometimes I wonder. All right. Yeah, just pause it. That's like a nightmare. Someone plays your own if we had a kid too late in life. Sometimes I wonder. All right. You didn't, maybe. That's like a nightmare. Someone plays your own clip, and you're like, please stop it. You know a fun thing about this Comedy Central? Look at the top comment. He looks 20 and 40 at the same time.

That's pretty good. See, those I don't mind. That's got 5.5 thousand likes. Yeah. Wow. I mean, I could have used that in my in my act and that's that's a great opening joke i look 20 and 40 at the same time yeah that's pretty good uh i've gotten lego man someone says that he looks like a lego i've i've definitely had that especially with my haircut

so this was my economy central special uh full-time magic something a lot of a lot of people haven't seen a big reason for that is it was uh it aired the same night of the mayweather pacquiao fight the same night yeah and i so we were i was doing the tonight show uh to promote it and where i mean that's when they told me that backstage or and i asked the conversation i was like you know you're we're airing this the same night the mayweather pacquiao fight and they're like ah you know that fight's a hundred dollars like i don't think people are going to pay that for that fight and it's like i mean they act like we're in some third world country you're like a hundred dollars is not insane and you can get

20 people to come and throw in five dollars and everybody watches it that's what people do they watch it in these big fights. I watched that fight in a neighborhood. Somebody projected it onto their garage door. Oh, really? There were like 100 people out there watching. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's not that. What's funny, I watched the fight, didn't watch my own special. It aired. So what I ended up doing was, which we talked about, I ended up trying to make a joke about it, like saying that it's airing this same night because I was hoping like, hoping you might as well accept it and they aired it back to back

so they aired it at midnight and 1am but the fight started because it was running late that fight was and it started the second my special started airing at midnight to the minute

they both started were you over there? the second my special started airing at midnight. I mean, to the minute. It just, like, they both started. And I was like, were you over there? Yeah. Yeah, we were at my house. Well, it was a day of sports, if you remember. Yeah. It was a ton of stuff.

Yeah. NBA playoffs. NBA playoffs. Big golf tournament. What day of the week was it? Was it Saturday? Was it Saturday? Yeah.

I think it was Saturday. Yeah. There was other stuff. Football football was did football mix in no spring yeah maybe his NBA playoffs there's a golf tournament I think the Kentucky Derby was that day wasn't it yes yeah yeah it's like it was a day that's like one of the craziest days ever in sports. And then the Mayweather Pacquiao fight. And then the neighbor gets a full-time magic. OJ 30 for 30, everything else that was going on that day.

That's what it's like. Yeah, it was like that. OJ Simpson just got out that day. Yeah, it was the best one I heard. And I don't know if it's true, but someone said Norm MacDonald's special aired on Earth Day where they told everybody to turn their TVs off. And so if that's true, he would win as far as that's a pretty great one. The station was telling people to? I mean, every network, people that make television, all television was like, do not turn your TV on today.

Go outside. Go outside. that make television all television was like do not turn your tv on today go outside go outside uh you know spend a day out everybody's like all right and his special comes out that day uh ours was so that was the mayweather pacquiao fight and the another thing too with that so if you if you see my that special which i don't know if you can see in that clip. Just play that clip. You don't have to play the volume. Sorry. See my hair kind of does that little above my right eye. It kind of curves over. I think that's what people mean when they say Lego. The Lego hair.

Just press mute so we don't have to hear it. I don't want to hear it at all. Why? Mute it on. There you go. That little I don't want to hear it at all. Why? Oh, you've got to mute it on. Oh, God. It's the best time of your life. There you go. So that little swerve, is it like a swerve? It goes over.

So when you do a special, you tape two shows, and then you edit together the best of those two shows. So when we got here to do this special in New York, they did not have a hair person and uh what's funny is like so i'm my buddy anthony jeff's like i was talking to him about we were talking about taping a special he goes just make sure someone takes a picture of your hair so your hair matches this week tells me a month before i take this special and i was like all right and then i get there and there's no hair person that does your hair and not that i need anything crazy but

you just want you need it to look the same so we have to get someone just had we had to get hair spray from someone and then we have someone that person that did my makeup was like here i'll just do your hair so my hair i have this swoop then in the other show, that swoop is not there. So in the edit, I don't think anybody, I mean, some people noticed. But if you can't see, now it's gone. In this clip. And now that's a huge difference. And I mean, I just don't think people pay attention.

Those people are laughing at me. But I mean, that's an enormous, that's a big, now that you pointed it that's a big now that you cut that part off it does shows so it was it was the and we went in between and then we had two days so i had the thing that i was told to pay attention to is the thing that happened and so now when i do a special i'm soup i have a hair person uh-huh and we take a picture and to make sure that it's the same because people can have two like shirts you can wear a shirt that to make sure that it's the same. Because people can have two shirts. You can wear a shirt that gets weird. The collar could be different in both shows.

I mean, T.J. Miller, he has an HBO special. His is so funny because he pours water on himself so the wet spots are different and they just go back and forth. But I think that's part of what he does. But it's just funny. I mean, his shirt's wet, then not wet, then back and forth. But I mean, I think that's part of what he does. But it's just funny that, I mean, his shirt's like wet, then not wet, then back to wet. But mine is just that hair.

The hair looks good there. And then for some reason before that, it was not good. So when you did the Tennessee Kid, you had a hair person, but then your shoes. The Tennessee Kid, I forgot. So the shoes that I wore in the tennessee kid uh i we're staying is right we shot it uh outside atlanta was it not duluth duluth georgia yeah uh and so we were staying downtown atlanta at the hotel because that's where they most of the hotels were so we i go you know everything's laid out we get to the show uh

we're about to we're i mean 10 minutes from starting and i go to finish getting dressed and i go to get my shoes my shoes i left them at the hotel so and the hotel's 30 minutes away so we have to we the the production team calls the the hotel and just has someone go up to the hotel room and get the shoes. And the shoes get drove in a cab. It cost me like 50 bucks to get these shoes. And we, thankfully, the production person was smart enough to think. She was like, she told them, she goes, take a picture of the shoes and text me. And so they take a picture and they were just going to bring my wife's running shoes,

like my wife's regular sneaker shoes. They're like pink, but they look like, you know. And then she's like, are these it? I mean, if she wouldn't have, and they would have just showed up, I would have just had just some shoes. I mean, I had my brother. I was going to wear his shoes. He had some kind of boots.

We were just looking to go in the audience and be like, everybody put your feet up. Let me see what kind of shoes you got. And thankfully, it got there. We started late because of that. Brian had to go on and just stretch in due time. We had to wait for these shoes to get there. And they made it yeah i

would never have thought to be like have them send a picture i never would be the right mind would grab the wrong shoes yeah that's hilarious yeah i would have i i wouldn't be there it's like little stuff like you know stuff like that that's little that's like smart where you see someone do something smart someone that's been in that situation before yeah where they go no you need them to take a picture because they might bring the wrong thing and i mean it was a good 30 40 minutes before we got them and i mean if you went through all that and then they just show up with you know my daughter's shoes and like you're like no that's not good uh and then you're just back to square one. Yeah. It would have been bad. That special could have went with bad shoes.

So is there any YouTube? That 20 to 40 thing was funny. Is there any more? The Lego. The Lego. They're pretty complimentary. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, they get complimentary after that. Why does he look like Josh Hutcherson and Buzz Lightyear combined? I don't know who that first guy is. I don't either. Yeah, that's fine. I want to look up Josh Hutcherson. Yeah. I mean, all these are complimentary. His whole act hinges on stupidity.

Yeah, I get that a lot. But he's smart because no one makes it in comedy without being pretty sharp well thank you uh I get a lot of people just being like this guy is uh somebody said Rich Voss did yeah uh I get I got a lot of people tell me you know they're like oh you're smart like they they you know yeah they they tell me that as uh it's're like, oh, you're smart. Like, they, you know, they tell me that as, it's like, no, man, you're really smart. And then you're like, okay, I appreciate it. I'm not, like, book smart.

Like, I don't know. Like, I can't. But you know what you're doing with comedy. I say, I've said it on stage, where I'm smart in my world. And, like, my brain, I'm, like, the smartest of my brain. Like, I know what I'm, you know, I know what I'm talking about in my world. And my brain, I'm the smartest of my brain. I know what I'm talking about in my thing. And I know when to not get into something. I know I don't ever get into...

If there's an argument, I'm not diving in some... I'll get crushed in an argument. Because they just start saying historical stuff, then I'm just out. It's like, I don't know, man. And then i'm just out like it's like i don't know man and then i just i bail out of the conversation and i go all right i want out of it uh you ever have anybody tell you you're smart and it seems like a weird like we weren't even talking about that like like you never even crossed your mind till they told you you're smart mate i mean that's everybody

says that all the time too they're like no no, just because I say I'm dumb. And then they're like, you're not dumb. I feel like they want to, like, root me on, you know, like, no, man, you're, like, I appreciate it, you know. It's all very nice, you know. I'll get that with fat jokes. Where they'll be like, ah, you're not that, come on, you're not that big. I'm like, ah, I appreciate it. Yeah. You're up there talking like you're real big,, you're not that. Come on, you're not that big. I'm like, ah, I appreciate it. Yeah.

You're up there talking like you're real big, but you're not that big. How big is big enough to where I can make these jokes? I feel like I'm there. I feel like you have a good stature for your size. You're just like, it looks like a football player. Like a big dude that would be a football player. Yeah, you look like an offensive lineman. Yeah.

Hey, thank you guys. Makes me feel good. Tony Soprano was fat, but he was a good fat. He could take his shirt off and you're like, all right. That's a good fat. I'm not saying I think you look worse than him. Bobby Buckela over here. Tony Soprano runs circles around you, but I'm not saying I think you look worse than him. Bobby Buckele over here. Tony Sperano runs circles around you, but I'm just saying.

I get John Candy a lot, who I don't even really know. You're not big like John Candy. John Goodman is the other guy I get. I think it's because I wear flannel a lot. I look like a Roseanne character. You do look like you could be a Roseanne kid from that show. One of the kids of the family? One of the kids in the family. Okay.

You could definitely show up. John Candy, dude. I asked someone, I was like, if you could, you know, they talk about like if you could bring back someone to life, like who would you bring back to life? Like would you bring back him, between him and Chris Farley? Who would you choose, John Candy or Chris Farley? For me, I would choose John Candy. And I think, by the way, you'd want both.

They're both unbelievable. They're both amazing. But John Candy, Chris Farley is usually what people say. I ask this question a lot. I just walk up to people and I... But Chris Farley's, the immediate kind of response,

just how he was so funny, so funny so funny when you watch John Candy movies like Uncle Buck and Uncle Buck's Plane Trains in Automobile is unreal Uncle Buck is unreal I haven't seen any of this oh dude oh man you've never seen Plane Trains in Automobile?

it's pretty great was It's pretty great. Was he just a comedic actor? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think he was on, was he on SNL? No, he was on the Canadian version. Yeah. Okay.

But he's just so funny. And he could do, I mean, he would do serious stuff. Even in Plane Trains and Automobiles, he has this big speech that's just beautiful. Yeah, I'd be curious if that held up for you, seeing it for the first time. Yeah, I'll go check it out. Serious stuff. Even in Plane Trains and Automobiles, he has this big speech. It's just beautiful. Yeah, I'd be curious if that held up for you, seeing it for the first time. Yeah, I'll go check it out. It's good. John Candy, to me, when you just go back and watch him, he's so impressive. It's so funny.

He's just, I don't know, he's loving it. Chris Farley is the same way. It's a tough question. He's just, I don't know, he's loving it. But Chris Farley is the same way. It's a tough question. But I think most people would say Chris Farley, but I don't think they think about what John Candy did. Great Outdoors, he was in that. The old 96er, he goes and eats a 96-ounce steak and then eats it all and then just wants to walk out the shirt just laying on his body.

He can't move because he ate the whole thing. I mean, it's unbelievable. Speaking of eating, you might notice we don't have the Krispy Kreme donuts. We belled. I don't think you really wanted to do it. I talked to my doctor. Did you? No, I don't have a doctor.

Do you ever talk to your doctor? I don't have a doctor. I've never my doctor. Did you? No, I don't have a doctor. Do you ever talk to your doctor? I don't have a doctor. I have a doctor, but it's just like a new person that's in that office. Every doctor you go to, they're like, we can't take a new patient. And I just get someone that's just... I mean, she's very nice. I think they know what to do. She's just super young and in training, I guess.

She's not an actual doctor? She's not the main, the real deal. Not yet. I'm starting with her from the bottom, and we're going to go to the top, and she's going to be one of the best doctors in the country. And I'll be like, remember when I was there from the very beginning? Is that how doctors move up? But is she a doctor?

Yeah, she went to... What's it called when they don't have nurse practicing? A nurse practitioner? Maybe. Yeah, can they be doctors? Physician's assistant? Yeah, maybe. I think they can do a lot of things that a doctor can.

Like they can write prescriptions and stuff. You know, you just want someone in the building. Yeah, just somebody. Somebody with scrubs. It's pretty good we do this. I think you get it. I would feel comfortable going in just talking to the secretary and be like, what do you think this is?

And she's like, she's been around. They've seen stuff. A lot of people come in and out of here. Yeah, and they just give you like, they're like, nah, it's fine. It doesn't look that bad. And that would be enough. Yeah. You know, they should be, you should have an office of that where just someone that's like, I'm not a doctor, but I've worked in a doctor's office. I've seen everything come in and out.

When you just want a quick like, hey, does this look cool? Or is this weird? And they're like, nah, that's probably fine. And that person, you should have, we should start that business of just, you go in and just for the quick and easy. Yeah, does this mole look weird to you? Yeah. And they're like, no, I've seen millions of those moles.

And you're like, all right, thanks. And then you leave. Yeah, I didn't have one of those. Like the drug commercials are always like, talk to your doctor about, I've never been in a position to like, hey, have you looked into this prescription? If you start a new diet, they're like, talk to your doctor about, I've never been in a position to like, hey, have you looked into this prescription? If you start a new diet, they're like, talk to your doctor. You're like, I'm just going to start it. I don't know.

I can't. I just think like dieting, you know, I've done millions of diets and tried different things. All of them are just, you know know like it's because the problem is like everybody we hear about like my old joke about it like the before body you know like they're but everybody that starts but it talks about a diet they it's a very like healthy person that tells you like you don't want to do that like it doesn't like when they're you're like i'm gonna do no carbs like you don't do no carbs you need car but when someone that doesn't diet you're like yeah man just stick to something if you ate cereal every day that would probably be better than what

most people if you just stuck if you were like i just want to eat i don't know any any like i'm just going to eat like you know no bread like just steaks whatever that the carnivore diet where it's just like you're eating meat all day long and someone's like don't do that you're like i don't know if you've never done anything yes start that and if you're eating meat all day long, and someone's like, don't do that. You're like, I don't know. If you've never done anything, yeah, start that. And if you can do that for a long time, then you can adjust from there. But if someone usually that's never done a diet, that's the problem. They read too much stuff about it because I'm that same way. I won't do a diet, and then I'll be like, I'm going to start.

I go, I start the most extreme diet. You know, I tried the carnivore. I was like, well, I'm going to just do that. I'll just eat meat three times a day. That's what the carnivore. I was like, well, I'm going to just do that. I'll just eat meat three times a day. That's what the carnivore diet? It's just steak. You just eat meat. Just meat.

And so you start that. But then when you read stuff, they're like, no, you don't want to do that. It's bad for this and bad for that. But it's like, I mean, what I'm doing is bad. What I'm doing regularly is bad. If I'm eating fast food, I'm eating all is bad if I'm eating fast food, eating all this stuff that's bad, so just start you know, you don't got to talk to your doctor

about this stuff, just start it you're not going to I just don't think you're going to go from and this is going, just a regular person that probably eats fast food you know, a few times a week to then just go eat meat every day it's not like, that person's like,

you're like, well, now you're going to have a heart attack because you did. No, you were on your way to a heart attack. Yeah. So just eat the meat all day. Uh-huh. That's what I thought. Why'd you stop doing that carnivore thing? Because it's a lot.

You know? Because you get tired of it. Talk to his doctor. I talked to my doctor. He was like, what are you doing, man? Karen. You got to have a steak for breakfast breakfast I saw my doctor at a red light and I rolled the window and I was like hey

that's the only time I talk to him oh there's my doctor I mean there's times I don't know if I would even recognize my doctor out I never had a doctor until recently I don't even know if you have a doctor now it's half and half but I don't know know if you have a doctor now. It's half and half.

But I don't know if I do. Yeah, I've never really had like a... How do people get these doctors? I don't even know where you go. I had to look. I would Google, what do you got to do to get a doctor? Or I asked my wife. I'm like, I need a doctor.

Like, I should be going to someone. Yeah. I called my doctor recently to get in for something, and they're like, he's on vacation or something. But she's like, but Kevin could see you. And I was like, oh, that's kind of... I thought it was very... She was being very loose with not calling him back.

She's so close to him or whatever. But then I got there, Kevin wasn't a doctor. Yeah. He was like a physician's assistant. Yeah. But he knows. Yeah. He's around.

He's in the, you know, it'd be like if you asked us about this podcast and they wanted to talk to me and I can't do it, and you would be like, I can answer your question. Like, you maybe can't approve something. We're not going to change the logo you maybe can't approve something we're not going to change the logo you can't change the logo of the podcast but you could you could definitely you're the nurse practitioner of this of this podcast yeah you're good enough but we don't want you doing the surgery i don't think people would want to pay the full copay if they knew that

that i was the one running it well if they went to an interview about this podcast and they're like can we talk to nate you're like now you can went to an interview about this podcast and they're like, can we talk to Nate? You're like, no, but you can talk to Brian. And then they're like, all right, well, that's fine. Like, you know, they would just do that. And they go, that's fine. And he answered the general questions of the podcast. But if you have any real questions,

we'll wait till Nate gets here. I'd wait. Yeah, what if they just want to wait? Could you have said that? I guess you can. But I'll wait till he gets back. I didn't realize until I got there that Kevin wasn't a doctor.

I just thought she was just being so close with him that she was like, that's what she calls him. Then I got there, and there's no MD in front of his name, just Kevin. He wasn't even wearing a lab coat. It was just, come on back here. He just came in. He's on his phone. Hello.

He just hangs his phone up. What's up, man? What's wrong? I feel like those guys take it less serious What's up man? What are you talking about? But did he answer your questions? I mean I guess, he seemed surprised that I would come see him He was, I mean

Maybe he set up real nice He's like, what are you the first one? I think he was excited to see me He dives in, he's gotta know dude That's like nurses, they always say that Nurses at hospitals They do everything. They're the ones that get to do.

You're a chicken. A fish. Yeah. The nurses at a hospital, they do it all. That's who you're seeing the majority of the time. The doctor comes in. When Harper was born, the doctor comes in at the last second. He comes in at the last second. I mean, he comes in.

I mean, it's truly the baby's coming out, and the doctor plops in. I mean, he's in the thick of it for, I don't know, 20. I don't remember how much time it was because it's such a crazy moment. But it's like 20 minutes. He's just in it, and then he's like, all right, see you later. And then he leaves. Do you think there were times like, hey, guys, I'm going to see if I can just literally walk right in. Yeah, I think they do.

I mean, I think they have to time, you know, they just do it. Like, how quick can they come and go? Like, he's like, I mean, I bet there's times he could be at a dinner. And then he's like, I got to go. He delivers a baby and can make it back to the dinner. Can you imagine that? You're a doctor. Don't box that up.

Yeah. Just leave it. Can you imagine coming back, and then you just sit there, and you're like, what did you go do? Did you go to the bathroom? No, I delivered a baby. I welcomed a life into this earth. And now you're just back eating like eating and your food's not even that cold i bet that happened was it that shortly it was just a few minutes that he was in

there yeah i mean i i really don't remember i mean it could have been two hours and i don't know like you're you know it's a it's a whirlwind you had other stuff going on well you just a lot's happening uh-huh uh you know i you've got a baby being born. And so it's all, you know, I cut them bilical cords. My wife and mom had a bet if I'd cut them bilical cords, and I did. Because, I mean, I say it. I talk about that, obviously. I'm not on that.

But, like, because they just put the baby in front of your face, and then they, like, cut the cord, and you're just, like, you're just in, like, a d like you know uh and it's and then so i cut the cord and then that was it uh then he went back to his regular life i know that baby they try to do c-sections sometimes because they want they want it oh you need a doctor for that right yeah they don't they don't let kevin come in and do a c-section no he's not he's like that's not his thing but i mean that's why you wouldn't but kevin wouldn't be there to do that like kevin like your kevin would just be but kevin's there the whole time you have the more rapport with kevin you could have

i don't even know if i would know the doctor that delivered our daughter like i if i if he walked up to me i'd be like what's up man like you know like i wouldn't it's not like you're like oh yeah i know this guy this is this i mean maybe i should but whatever so uh anyway the whole point this we're not doing the krispy kreme dough That was the whole, we tried it, and we really thought about it. And then, A, watching us eat for an hour I don't think is good. Yeah. I think we do need to do it one day, and we'll film it as a separate thing. And I'm going to do it with you.

Okay. I'll eat the, you know. That's one of those things I've been able to say for years, one of those claims I could make, and nobody would ever actually give me the opportunity to prove it. Now you want to do it. Now you want to... No, well, under these circumstances that he's saying of a separate thing.

We just go, we're just sitting here, and we're... Uh-huh. And we can... Yeah, I mean, watching us eat for an hour can't be good. Awful. With a mic right in front of us. That's not fun for anybody, man. We did build it up.

I mean, luckily no one's seen this. So people are going to be like, ah, I got to see it. They do the Krispy Kreme. And then, I mean, they're going to be disappointed immediately in this podcast that they think that's going to happen and then i think there'll be a lot more relief than people being upset yeah like people don't care yeah they're like no i don't want to see that guy i don't we don't know who that guy is to begin with then you could have him eating the

whole next podcast you know who has the world record for glazed donuts joey chestnut does he yeah what is it he ate i think 55 in eight minutes okay in fact check me on that but i think joey chestnut last week we're already in reruns yeah i think we episode two like it's well i'm trying to segue into we're talking about uh you know joey chestnut since what's his net worth i don't i want to know that. How much money could that guy make? Joey Chestnut, net worth. No one cares about the Glaze Dome. 257.

257. Okay, a little higher than what I was talking about. You said 55. Yeah, but that was a different. That would be like his breakfast that morning. To get his stomach ready, he would eat 55 of them. He ate over 200 more after you stopped watching. That's a different competition. That's an endurance competition. It looks like.

Oh, those are powdered hoster donuts. He has a glazed donut one, too. I was looking at all the world records he has. I think there's an argument to be made. If you consider this a sport, then one of the greatest athletes of all time. The length of time he's been dominating. Do his net worth, too. this a sport than like one of the greatest athletes of all time just as dominant the length

of time he's been dominating do his net worth too i want to see his kobayashi used to be the guy well kobayashi was very briefly the guy so when when this became uh when hot dog eating came it was uh it was what is his net worth 1.5 million oh really oh yeah it was worth estimating uh that's a lot of money man for just eating eating uh yeah kobayashi was he came in hot joey chestnut like he was the guy and then chestnut came in and just has never let up. And almost, you know, I remember Kobayashi first. Like he was the first one when I first saw it. I thought he was the main person. And then Joey Chestnut's been just on a run.

You know, I mean, there's a major league eating MLE. It's a whole circuit that they go do, like Buffalo Wings. Like it's a different season of like what you you know what you end up doing and kobayashi has got double the net worth of joey chestnut according to like he's got more of a look you know the endorsements in japan he's got more of a look look it's you know i was thinking like when's it when's enough? At what point are you Joey Chestnut and you go, we're good? I think he was, what, 34? When do you go, you know what?

I think when you hold a world record in every food group. That's when you tap out. What if he's not good at a certain, you know, it's like pickles are just brutal for me. What if that's his, like he can't do. He's pretty well-rounded. If you look at what he's got, he's got the world record for eating gumbo. He's got the asparagus world record, glazed donuts, and hot dogs. I mean, after the asparagus one, his whole house smells weird.

You eat half an asparagus. A whole house smells weird. You eat half an asparagus in a bite. It's a wrap. If you go pee, it's going to be a wrap. It's amazing how well that works. It's unbelievable. Imagine having to and you eat as much as him. It's got to be a week of that.

I've just... You walk over to his house and you're like asparagus season you just know without even yeah I'm training I'm training

he's like yeah I'm getting into it got a big match next week yeah I mean I don't know you know when's it going to be you know

yeah I don't know I mean he's in good shape so it's again it's not I'm sure he talks to his doctor I mean can you imagine going to tell your doctor that?

I can't imagine doctors ever is like, that's good, man. You think it's hard for you to find a doctor. Imagine them trying to find a doctor. Just have an insurance. You're going to insure – what's your diet like? Eat 75 hot dogs in three minutes and like, whew. All right, just one time a year. It's like all right just one time a year it's like just hot dogs one time a year and then after that i've done donuts and you're like good night man he's got the big mac

eating uh big mac world record too i think it was 35 big macs in 32 minutes could you if you do this could you uh like i don't like onions so would i I be allowed? I bet not. If I'm like, can I do mine with no onions? If you did the Big Mac? Yeah. Would I be allowed to have? I don't think so. That gives you a really unfair advantage because you've got to think about 32.

I mean, that's a lot of onions. It's a lot of onions. It adds up. It adds up. Yeah, it's like a whole different few burgers, you know? Yeah. And so they would make me eat the onions. Yeah, there it is.

32 Big Macs. It's the world record. 32 Big Macs in, I think, 35 minutes. Pretty amazing. They always talk about the calories, too, like how many calories. But, like, I never understand calories. Like, what are you supposed to, how many are you supposed to eat? I don't know how they know how many calories are in something. It says it on the box.

That's what I'm saying. But the people who put the stuff on the box, how do they know? I guess I need to know what a calorie is before I ask that question, but I think they're just making it up. Yeah, I mean, who knows what these calories are, man? I mean, that's like when you look at diet stuff. I think you could write anything on a diet thing to make anybody convinced. If someone just aggressively and confidently talks about it, calories don't matter.

And they just tell you why. If that person's persuasive, then you're like, I'm on board with this guy, what this guy says. If it worked for one person. Yeah. If they got a before and after picture. Of just one person. I remember a guy I worked with before I started comedy, a before and after picture of just one person i remember a guy i worked with before i started comedy and he lost a ton of weight and uh all he did was eat

tuna fish for like a year he just ate tuna fish still drank beers drank sodas but just did tuna fish and lost i mean maybe 100 pounds yeah uh and i always i still think about that i always like think oh i should just do because you're like i should just do that that's easy you just eat tuna fish uh but i didn't do it but he but you're you know what i mean any if you do anything i think if you do anything to your system you will lose weight like if just any kind of aggressively just change you're you're going to drop something you know yeah i mean you just uh-huh you're eating less no you even but i mean just consistently doing one your body is you know my body's just it doesn't know what we're going to get there's no consistency uh-huh it's i mean it's all ready for anything. What's this day going to be?

You know? Are we going to have donuts in the morning? We might. We might have pancakes. We might have nothing. There's plenty of stuff. So that's the message. Just do whatever you want to go do.

This is a diet. There's some doctors losing their mind right now. I mean, just like, they've got to be listening to this. This is irresponsible. Yeah, what are these guys talking about? But you go just do something. I remember my buddy Justin Silver, he would be like, don't get rid of ketchup. He's like, just get rid of ketchup.

You'll be fine. But I didn but i didn't you know how much ketchup are you eating that that would make a big of a difference well at that time i would do a lot of ketchup i would always i like to do enough that it makes the person next to me uncomfortable like they have to bring it up that's how much ketchup i like i like the ketchup enough that someone goes it's a lot of ketchup like they they can't not say it you know like it's that much that they're like huh you could use the whole bottle they there's some comment that they have to not let go you would add ketchup to like if you got a burger at like mcdonald's or something you'd add ketchup to it i uh i don't anymore uh i like ketchup but i can eat fries without ketchup yeah just as easy i mean they're you know they're just as good yeah uh i'm not sure i think where i if i use ketchup on i don't

use ketchup as much as i used to but there was a time i mean i would use it was really a big part of your life here's the man older yeah my dad puts ketchup on everything. Steak? Yeah, I think so. Wow. I use steak. I like Heinz. But you can't use it if you go to a nice steak restaurant. Because it's insulting, right? Yeah.

If you get a real expensive steak and then you ask for A1, they get real upset. They get, I mean. My dad used to say that. That's like you get wine and you put ice in your wine that was like is that a thing oh yeah that's like you look like real redneck if you get like i've never even heard anybody thinking of doing that they would do it at applebee's and i worked at applebee's that would be a big you get it my wife used to do like there you'd get a red wine no no uh like white wine and you'd put ice in it make it

like it's like a drink and you put ice in it okay yeah that seems a little weird yeah it's not it's not as classy it's not you know you don't want to cheers that looks like you have something on the rocks you're like oh what is that scotch uh cabernetet? I don't know. What's Pinot? Whatever white wine is. White Zinfandel. White Zinfandel. Yeah. That's the one you put ice.

White Zinfandel. If you get a cup with ice and white Zinfandel, I mean, you might as well go ahead and light that cigarette. I worked at a place that had like 64 different beers on tap, and then we had a ton of different wines, and I was supposed to learn about all of them. But I learned everything about one beer and then one type of wine. Yeah. And then when people would ask for it, I would just really sell those because I didn't know anything else. You just go in on the one.

What was the wine? It was White's Infidel, the house White's Infidel. That's the one? Yeah. That's something that's like, what do you got special back there? You're like, let me tell you what, a lot of these other services. If you knew nothing about wine, doesn't that sound like something legit? Like, I sound like I know what I'm talking about.

If I were just like, the house red is great, you'd be like, oh, this guy doesn't know. But if I say Zinfandel, man, this guy knows what he's talking about. I think a wine person, though, would be like, what? Like, white Zinfandel is like, I don't't think but it's a wine person asking me for a recommendation i mean what restaurant was it this is a bricks wood-fired pizza i mean so it's a place i think you need something more obscure so you're not like yeah you're in a pizza place so you're not i'm not in no i'm not wearing a tux or anything i mean there was when i worked when i weighed tables in chicago uh we had someone that worked there.

They also waited tables at like this, I want to say Rosebuds or something like that. But it was a very nice restaurant. It was like those servers, that's their career. Like those guys make $100,000 a year being servers. So it's like that level of serving. Because there's different different like if you're at applebee's if you're like what you're just usually like a college kid or you're you know or like you just i mean sometimes people become bartenders and work there their whole life

because they can make a lot of money uh but then you get to that next higher level where it's a restaurant you're that's an actual like profession like you're so you're there you have to know everything you have to know all wine and you have to really you can't just phone it in can't just your standard you know what's really good our house white zinfandel uh like i feel like once you say house you're out like it's out like you know i don't remember it was a house or not what was the beer the kentucky bourbon barrel was the one that i always recommend that one i would believe it's a good beer yeah i'd be like wow like i don't want something that dark and be like yeah i mean it's pretty good is it dark i don't know yeah it's pretty heavy

it's a high gravity beer i mean it would knock people out oh that sounded good high gravity beer yeah see i know a little bit that just means i think it means it's 10% or higher yeah high gravity so the Kentucky Bourbon Barrel was like bourbon like it tasted like bourbon and I'd recommend that yeah they're like

I don't like bourbon I'm like well you might you might like this well let me change your mind and if you don't I'll bring you over a little glass of white Zinfandel and then

put some ice in it put some ice in it and then you can you'll clean your palate yeah were you a good server? uh man Put some ice in it. Put some ice in it, and then you can clean your palate. Yeah. Were you a good server? Man.

No, I don't think so. I would forget stuff a lot. Yeah. I would always try to remember the whole table without writing it down. Yeah. People don't like that. Uh-uh. Because they're just like, you sure you got this, buddy? And you're like, I got it. And then if you miss one thing, they're just like you sure you got this buddy and you're like

i got it and then if you miss one thing they're like we told you yeah yeah because i would you got to find little ways to keep yourself entertained yeah and that's how i would do it and i'd miss stuff all the time and i'd and then i'd have to comp the table stuff yeah i i sent this girl to the hospital because she uh she said she's allergic to feta cheese. And I was like, okay. And they kept saying she's allergic to feta. They got a pizza that had feta cheese. So I was like, okay, I'll make sure.

Why would they get it? Yeah, this pizza, but she's allergic to feta cheese. Don't get it. And I didn't really know what feta cheese looked like. And I gave her a pizza with feta cheese and she ate it and it was a real problem so we had to comp their whole meal and yeah and they left to go to the hospital because she was about to break out i don't think i understand they ordered it but just said don't serve her no they said don't they said take this pizza usually comes with feta cheese yeah don't

put it on there okay these people These people like to look dangerous. Because they could order a pizza that doesn't have that from the beginning. And you know what? Yeah. I remember later that night, I felt so bad. And then I was like, how did they not know what feta cheese looked like? If you're so allergic to this. It's a little bit on you.

It's a little bit living on the edge to go, we know feta cheese can kill this girl. But we do like the feta cheese pizza here. So let's get that. Just no feta cheese can kill this girl, but we do like the feta cheese pizza here. So let's get that, just no feta cheese. Yeah. And you didn't type it in to say, hey, no feta cheese. I think I did, but I only put it once. You're supposed to write it like five times so that it comes out real, you know, in the receipt.

Yeah. So, you know, a lot of people share the blame, I think. Yeah. Do you ever hear what happens? It starts with the head coach, and that's you right there. share the blame, I think. Do you ever hear what happens? It starts with the head coach, and that's you right there. Yeah. No, I don't know. I don't know what happened.

They left, and they got a free meal. So it might have all been a scam. We have her here today. Come on in. Come on in. Sarah. And she's come in. She can't speak.

I think I was a good server. I liked it i uh i i could remember people i loved the idea that you just knew you knew all your tables kind of orders like you know you kind of just it's like you're in your own little world so you know like these what these people are eating and drinking and you know where they're at you know when when to stop back by their table and be like, hey. I remember one thing I learned from waiting tables that I think was a good thing to learn was they would always talk about sense of urgency. And so you should always have a sense of urgency. So you should always feel like you're hurrying to get these people what they want. And it was, like, a great lesson I learned just for life.

Like you should have it like there's your life should have a sense of urgency. You should like whatever you do, you should be like, we need to do this and do it correctly and do it as quick as we can. And I'm and now like I see it even just in regular if I go to somewhere and like you can tell when they don't like there's no sense of like they don't care. Like it's like the food's going to get there when it gets there there's no there is no sense of urgency and i can really see it i always thought that was like uh that was like a good life lesson that i learned and just how you live your life is just have an urgency about yourself that you should be like i whatever i'm thing i'm trying to accomplish i go i need to accomplish it don't put it off don't do you know you go, you go accomplish things. And you learned that at? I learned it at Jake Melnick's

in Chicago. I learned it there. Me and Michael Clay, who I moved with to start comedy, we used, we were the first people hired at that restaurant. And we went in and I mean, I went back to it. and we went in, and I mean, I went back to it. I showed it on my YouTube, the road life clips, and then were you there? You were, yeah. And we went back to the restaurant, and I mean, I walk in this restaurant just like,

how you doing? I mean, I come back like, I'm back. I haven't worked there. It's been 17 years and i i think like i just don't let stuff go because i didn't go to college so like anything that i go to i always say when your college years that was during my college years i was i still talk to people that i thought i was texting with a good two nights ago that we worked with uh there when i meet people in my life if i do meet you in some step of my life, you're usually in my life. You don't leave.

Especially then, I kind of know you kind of keep an eye on what everybody is doing. I was there. I was in Chicago for the Bartman years. Steve Bartman. I waited tables that night for that game. I remember we made a lot of money

waiting tables because it was unbelievable. Just the atmosphere of Chicago. I mean, they're going to win it this year. I was like, I can't believe I'm here in Chicago. We're going to win it. And I remember the Bartman thing when it happened. Still to this day, Chicago people make me livid about the Bartman thing. I think what they did to that guy, I don't think they deserved

a World Series after that. I wish they would have just lost for the next 300 years because it's ridiculous that they put... I mean, dude, the newspaper posted that guy's address. They ruined that guy's life. These Chicago fans

have all still been upset about it up until maybe five years ago. Then they were finally like, all right, I guess we should. You're like, yeah, well, you've already ruined this dude's life. This guy can't do anything. He can't go back to another game. He's never done interviews. It's not like he went and got famous out of this.

He tried to stay on the limelight. You embarrassed him. And he did nothing wrong. He did absolutely nothing wrong. And people just trash him. And it of the limelight. You embarrassed him. And he did nothing wrong. He did absolutely nothing wrong. And people just trash him. And it was the most disgusting thing. I remember at that moment seeing it being like, why are you putting where this guy lives out?

I wish you would have sued everybody. Because they've ruined his life. And I mean, so I remember working that night. If you watch the 30 for 30 on Steve Bartman's that night of if you watch the the 30 for 30 on steve artman's great and if you watch it so after when they had to escort him out the the girl that they talked to that worked for wrigley field she ends up having to take him take him to her apartment because they they get him outside and the stadium and then someone's like that's the guy and so they have to like run and he has

to go hide in her apartment until like everybody leaves so i'm waiting tables and another girl that i worked with we leave that night the next she goes home the next morning she comes back and we're just like you know all the news is steve bartman that's all that was on espn and you watched it and you're like man so crazy the crazy. The girl that I worked with, she was roommates with the girl that took her to her apartment. So she got home and you know, this is really before your text, like this is before any of that stuff. So she walks in the door and Steve Bartman's just sitting on her couch, which is unbelievable. Like, can you imagine, you know, that's like a manhunt is going on, and then you walk in, and he's, you know, the fugitive.

Richard Kimball. Richard Kimball's just sitting there. I mean, it's unreal. And so she came back and just told us that, and I was like, dude, that's, I mean, especially, you were just like, what? You know, and she just walked in, and he said he was just sitting there, like, sad. He was, he felt, you know.

Headphones still on. Headphones still on. Headphones still on, listening to them just trash him like he's the reason. They, you know. Can you think of another famous person that had something crazy happen that never, ever, ever did an interview or never, ever come back in the spotlight? Because he has done nothing. He's done nothing.

I think they sent him a World Series ring. Yeah, but I mean, he's never done an interview that I know of. His whole life is ruined. It's like Cubs fans are like, we forgive you now. I'm just surprised there's not YouTube video or Instagram people just posting, hey, I saw Steve Bartman at Walgreens. Yeah. I mean, that stuff wasn't around when that happened, or I bet...

I'm talking about now, even. Yeah, but now it's been so long that I'm sure people... Yeah, I mean, I'm surprised that you don't see something, but I think he lives in a town outside of Chicago, probably keeps to himself. Then he just kind of missed the time of Twitter. If Twitter would have been around then, you would know everything about him probably without him wanting. But him just staying out of the light and not doing anything. That's what's crazy is it was mainstream media doing this.

It wasn't people on Twitter doxing him. It was newspapers. Yeah. Crazy. what's crazy is it was mainstream media doing this there wasn't people on twitter doxing it was newspapers yeah yeah yeah crazy it's crazy i feel like i've seen that clip so many times but if he wasn't wearing exactly that i couldn't pick him out of it if he wasn't wearing right same right that same outfit with the head the headphones and yeah and a hat if i just saw him at walgreens in normal clothes i I don't think I'd recognize him. You're not looking for Steve Bartman. No, but I mean, other people I think would recognize him. Yeah, you're probably right.

People that were truly mad about him. It's just very impressive that he's never done an interview and never been back in the spotlight. Maybe we'll be the ones. We'll get Steve Bartman on here. If he's listening, open invitation. Yeah. Anytime

you want to come, buddy, you're welcome. With the pressure of interviewing that guy for the first time, I'd be like, I don't even do interviews. So what's going on, man? How are things? Were you excited when the Cubs won? You wouldn't even bring it up. What do you think affected you you excited when the Cubs won?

You wouldn't even bring it up. What do you think affected you more, when the Cubs won the World Series or when your life was ruined by the city of Chicago? Which one? Yeah, it was a crazy time to be in Chicago during that run. It was just the – I mean, even before that, just the energy of that city and, like, I don't know how much – I mean, you wanted them to win. Then I remember going to – I went to White Sox games too. The people that – Levy Foods, who was, like, owned the restaurant or something,

they had a box, and so they gave us tickets like the last game of the regular season. The White Sox were out of it. I mean, there was maybe 50 people at this game. And we're sitting and, like, we got to go sit in their box. It's like one where you're like, no one's going to. But they're like, I'll give them to some of the servers. And we're like, we would love to go. And then we just go sit and eat.

All right. Doesn't matter. This podcast is going to troll off quite a bit where it's just like, all right. Anyway, none of this matters. So we'll majorly talk about that. Talking about doing shows like that going back, we're talking about any bombing stuff that we've had because we get asked this comics a lot, like bombing.

And I've talked about some of mine i can never remember they so the thing with when you bomb it's like with hecklers with comedy people always ask too like are you getting heckled and you know you don't get heckled as much as people think i think it got uh really uh blown out of proportion i also think comic stealing material is something else that i don't love that how much that's been blown out people accuse comics of still they like there's been a there's been a world that's been built up now that they if anybody has a joke that sounds like someone else's joke they're just like this guy's stealing it happens to me all the time someone accuses me of stealing something and no one realizes you're like yeah man everybody's going to talk about some of the same stuff you majority the p if someone gets caught stealing a joke it's usually a

nobody comic that's like doing someone's act like somewhere on the road or something like or that could be and you know that shouldn't be done but like that's that happens i'm sure but no one even knows i know carlson c was the biggest example of stealing stuff uh but i mean i just they it got blown out into comics i just don't they're not stealing stuff i mean people are going to talk about the same kind of things and you can tell when you have a joke that's like you know sometimes when you comic you come up the joke and if it's very funny quick and then you're like ah this feels like someone could have talked about this and you try to ask some other comics like has anybody ever talked about this and then you know but you some people are like no i don't think so then you just do it and then sometimes that's the joke that ends up with someone's like well they did talk about it here or whatever but i wouldn't you know i've

had people tell me i've stole jokes i've had people tell me that someone else has done a joke like mine. But I just think it's like everybody has a lot of, you know, experiences that are the same. So comics are going to end up talking about stuff that's the same. And it's, you know, you just hear the different takes on it. It's almost like that's how it should be looked at. It's like they're doing the same kind of idea. Which one do you like better? Like which one is presented,

which joke idea is better? I think stealing jokes as a whole is just not, it's just not a thing. Like it's not, it's not a problem. And I wish, and I want everybody to know that because I don't,

there doesn't need to be this search. Like I feel like people are trying to, especially now it's like this gotcha, like they're trying to catch people stealing stuff and it's it's just not it's just not a i don't think a problem enough in comedy that it needs to warrant like a sheriff comics are pretty good on policing that and you know and that and you do your you do that you come up with a joke i'll call you i'll call someone and like like have you heard this and then you know and that's all you can really do then you just do the joke and then see you know what happens after have you ever had anybody steal

anything from you or been accused of stealing yeah i've i think i've um just like doing jokes at open mic somebody will be like so and so did that joke and i'll be like oh maybe i did hear that and then you just stopped doing it and nobody's ever approached me with malice you know like you stole this from me it was just you know you might have heard me talking about this you know small stuff like that but you're right if i were just looking at youtube videos i would think this is a rampant problem everybody's sitting in the back of the room with notepads stealing each other's jokes i mean that's there's a lot of stuff like i get to another thing i get on youtube people think i just do the same jokes on everything but the problem too is like when you well i do on

different shows so you know coming up with a new material is it's very hard it's hard to come up with a new act and then when you're when you're first starting out until you start getting specials you are just putting everything kind of out on youtube like out just different shows so a lot of these clips have the same jokes on them and i'll be doing this jokes ever so i have some like huns like this guy just does the same joke on everything and you're like well they're different shows and I don't always think they're going to be put on YouTube and then I especially don't think about it back then when you're almost just always throwing stuff up on YouTube because you're hoping what's the thing that's going to be like people are going to grab go towards gravitate towards and uh so like then now it looks like i just have like 10 jokes that you know like i only cycle through but you're like no those are all different shows

and those are the jokes that i was doing at that time so they're going to be put up so when you see like a comic when they're younger a lot of their clips i mean they're only going to have so many great like if something is ever being filmed especially then you're only going to have so many great, like if something is ever being filmed, especially then, you're only going to have so many jokes that are like good enough to be filmed. So you're going to, those jokes are always going to live there. And then the older you get into comedy and like where I'm at now, it's like, I can't do that. So like, I can't, I mean, if I could do a late night set, I'll do jokes that I'll have on my Netflix special. I'm not going to write a separate five minutes for that. Late night set to me is a showcase of your special. It's somewhere to be like,

here's a little five minute segment from my special and then go watch the entire special. You're not going to write just its own separate kind of thing. So besides that, but now you have to be way more careful about what gets put out and what's getting filmed. But if I go, like I had something when I did A Prairie Home Companion, which is the poster behind me. Like when I did that, I had that video out. And I did super old jokes on that. And then they're like, oh, this is from his Netflix. But you're like, yeah, man, it was like a radio show I did.

Like I'm not going to have, you're not just throwing new stuff out. Everything's got to be saved for the special. So the special's the most important thing. So at that point, if I do anything, I'm just grabbing old stuff that I don't care if it gets, like, wasted. Like, I'm not going to put my new, you just can't put your new thing. I've got to save that for the hour special and the live shows. Those are the things that are the biggest things.

What percentage of people do you think don't even know that you've written this? Think that you're just going out there and winging it? I don't think it's as much anymore. I think it was. I definitely don't think people know... They don't understand comedy's as much anymore I think it was I definitely don't think people know they don't understand comedy or what you do it's definitely

you know it's hard for them to see it to like figure out what you do I think now there's more you know because now people will ask is he doing new stuff or is this you know when you see some comments there's people that are definitely more aware than they ever were, I think. You know, I think for a long time it was that.

Like, they just think you're up there just, like, riffing and having a good time. But they don't realize how much you do the same joke. They don't, you know, comedy, it's like, I wish people would, like, you know, people get into music like that. They really love music, and they love the art of music, and they like watching new musicians if they never heard them to see if they're good. And I wish that comedy had that. I mean, there's definitely fans of people that do watch Young Comics.

I mean, I know people that have watched y'all that have been to my shows or something, and they enjoy watching the process but that that group is much smaller than music and i wish people would see i mean you know when i first got into comedy seeing like bill burr uh and bill burr was is a huge deal for me like he was he was one of the first comics that i got to watch when he first started it was i remember him going to his first late night set and get and see him rise up from there and i watched him do that late night set i watched his hbo one night i was at that taping and then i remember going to caroline's where we could just go and he would be headlining and you

could just sit anywhere because no one was there there There would be 30 people watching Bill Burr, and we would go sit and watch him. And then I remember going to Caroline's where we had to ask. It was sold out and overly packed, and we would just wait in the lobby. And then, like, the manager there would be like, you can come stand in the corner, and you could go stand in the corner and watch him. And then when he went to town hall.

and watch him, and then to, when he went to Town Hall, and then, like, so watching his whole rise to what he is now, you know, was a gigantic, it was a huge, huge influence on me. But I remember when I first found him, I mean, like, if you can go find comics that are new, like, to the audience, like, it's a go discover new comics. And just go watch them the way you would eat food. If you're just like, that's not my cup of tea. You can find your thing

and then go watch that person become who they are. And realize how much art... I don't know comic ones to say they're artists. But the craft of it is unbelievable. And like when we write jokes and we come up with these stories is, I mean, to make it seem like we're just talking regularly, conversational, is, you know, it's hard to do. And you got to learn how to do it. is, you know, it's hard to do, and you've got to learn how to do it. And to see someone learn and then figure their kind of voice out,

and you're always kind of doing that, is just, I mean, I don't know. Comedy, it's unbelievable. Like, I mean, people don't realize a placement of a word can ruin a whole joke, and it can make a joke perfect. It can make a joke not perfect. And that's fun to see. It's fun, you know, and watching people, you know, when I would watch Burr, I remember his HBO One Night stand taping.

It's his HBO half hour. And I remember when he got off stage, I mean, the audience, because I was in the crowd, they're losing their minds. And they can't, they almost can't believe, like I don't think all of them knew them, and they were just like, what? What was that?

Like, you know, that's so exciting. That was, I remember just feeling that to be like, that's what you want, man. Where, you know, when you go on stage and no one knows who you are, and you go murder super hard, and the crowd's just like, what? They just can't believe that they're like, golly.

And making someone laugh, it's hard to make someone laugh. To really laugh, it's very hard. That's the same time I heard Brian Regan. First, my dad bought a CD of his at a truck stop, and then he told me he had to pull over the car. Like, I remember just wanting to have people tell me they had to pull over. Like, to be laughing that hard that you have to, you can't drive, that's unreal. Like, that's an emotion that is tough to pull out of somebody.

You know, to cry. I mean, to cry. mean to cry they're laughing and crying like that's that's you know to bring that much joy to someone because that i think like that's that's why we what we love what we do is you you love that you can you can i mean everybody's worries go away man like they're you know like i think it's more you know i know music i like listen to music that are like fun song was like we talked about last week there might not be fun songs in the fear the reaper but i think they're fun uh but like comedy it's like if you can makes people like just give them a break of their like you know life is hard man like and people go through

so much stuff and if you can just give them a break from their not for an hour for them to not to think when we did those shows at zany's uh and it was just like a few weeks ago and uh with the first night's at covid like you could just feel the, the crowds were just like, I don't know, man, they've been through so much and everybody's been through so much to give them a break is, is, is something that like, I, and that's what I want this podcast to be where it's like, it's not just sitting here just talking about the problems. You know, you gotta have some kind of release.

You gotta have somewhere to go where you can just refresh, and then you can go back to everyday life. And that's why comedy is like, you know. I think it's so good. It's so fun to watch. You see young comics, and they come, and to hear their take and their point of view on stuff, and then see them rise. And that's what it was for me with burr like seeing him you know burr was older than me is older than me uh but seeing him come up and through that thing i mean that that's it changed

my life and like how like and that was a big aspect of me moving to new york and why i was so glad to live in new york is i was able to see that I was able to see people's rise and see how they did it and he built it very slow he's earned it every step of the way and he's put in the time and you know now he's as big as he's the biggest comic you know working uh it's pretty special you know I don't know and then to feel yourself be going through that same process. I think I'm better than Bill Burr right now. I'm on his network, all things comedy. I think I'm a little bit bigger than Bill Burr right now, but that's just me.

No, yeah. Well, yeah, to see, you know, it's hard to see it when you're in it in yourself. You know, it's hard to take anything. Like, you know, it's hard to think about, you know, starting this podcast, like, you know, it's like, I don't know what it's going to do, man. It might do nothing. No one might listen to this podcast. I don't know if it's going to be what everybody wants it to be.

But I remember, you know, getting to these specials and doing the stand-ups, doing that full-time magic and the stand-ups on Netflix, and then doing the Tennessee Kid and then hopefully we'll be doing another one. It's like you're starting to build this cycle of when you start doing these stand-up specials. Being known as a stand-up is an accomplishment in my mind. Like being known that like no one,

you don't see me then you're like, what is that? Oh, he does stand-up too? Like there's none of that. I'm known as a stand-up. And that is something like Sebastian Mascaco, Gaffigan, Burr, Chappelle, Chris Rock, Seinfeld. And Seinfeld could be known for a million other things. Chris Rock could be known for a million other things.

But you know them as stand-ups. So to be known as that. I always loved Jay Leno. Jay Leno's known as a stand-up. And Jay Leno did stand as a stand-up. And Jay Leno didn't... He did stand-up the whole time. I love that comics didn't get big and then just move on to something else.

They kept doing the thing that got them there. And they love it. And those guys are true comics. They're the ones that kept doing it. Letterman stopped doing it. I don't know how much he was doing it to begin... I don't think he was in it like crazy.

I get Steve Martin stopping, though. I understand he got so big that it was above what it can be. There was nowhere to go. He was doing stadiums, so he got so gigantic. That guy I get stopping. Or even Eddie Murphy. Eddie, I was going to say. Yeah, Eddie Murphy. They got so big that where can you go?

You can't really go. You can only go down. So if you get to that level of things where it was just the excitement for those people, like, and them coming. I don't think you can produce enough to keep up. I don't think you can produce enough to keep up. So I understand them having to kind of step back or being like, I can't do this anymore. You're just going to be a disappointment. You get to that high of a level.

I mean, no one's like... I mean, Eddie Murphy is probably the phenom of comedy. I mean, for him to put those specials out, Raw and Delirious, I mean, he's 20 or 21. People, comedy's like, I'm 41, so

I was saying in comedy, you either make it at 20 or 40. No one makes it at 30. No one's just in the middle and then becomes huge. You either come out super hot and you make it, or you have to wait until you're 40. And you look like you're both. I could be, yeah. As that guy currently said, You either come out super hot and you make it, or you have to wait until you're 40. And you look like you're both. Yeah, and as that guy currently said, I'm the one that does both.

So for him to come out and put those specials out, I mean, it felt like a grown man. When you watched it, I mean, think about talking to a 21-year-old kid now. If I wouldn't listen to a 21-year-old, I you crazy you're 21 like you know you know i think about what i knew at 21 was nothing and for him to put both of those out and be that young that's unreal dude that's like that's a special special and obvious obviously he's been rewarded and shown how special he is. But that's something, man. That's like something crazy, dude. Like he's probably, you know, I could see, you know, he could be the Jordan.

Like it's just, I think, it was just too good. I'd say he's like the good. Like, he inspired too many people. I'd say he's like the Bo Jackson. Because he stopped? Well, yeah, because it just was like overnight. It was just kind of over. Right? You never saw him fade.

But he affected the game too much. Oh, okay. That's fair. He, you know, I mean, Chris Rock, Chappelle, you know, I mean, everybody. Like, he affected, you know, he affected what we did. There's no Wizards years, though, of his career. No, he's kept them not happening. I mean, he didn't, you know, I mean, there's always rumors

that he's going to come back and do it. But he was, you know, I mean, Chappelle's that now. Chappelle's been, you know, I mean, Chappelle is the one that you could argue is the the best I mean Rock Chris Rock too I mean his first his specials when they came out they were so big so what are people saying about me and Aaron this whole time you've been talking about just like what where were you where y'all at yeah like you said at the very beginning of this 10 minutes ago you're like yeah people now talking about you and Aaron.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, you guys, you know, you're in the beginning stages of it, you know? I know you're 75 years old, but you're... I mean, you can't give us one example of something somebody said? Oh, what they said about y'all's comedy? Yeah. I mean, people say they like your comedy. I've had people say that.

They're like, they like, you know. I mean, I've had people say, people ask me who you are and stuff like that. They're like, who was that first guy? And I go, Aaron. And then I just always say your name. They go, no, no, we know. We've been following him for a while. The other guy.

And I go, oh. I go, the guy that gave, the guy that just like did the messages up at the top they gave announcements and they're like no no the guy that actually did some jokes and then i go i go send me a picture then they find a picture and then they find out they get never mind we found and then so i'm assuming they mean him uh during all that i I regret I asked. It was a mistake. We did, so I was talking about, so we got off on a tangent there,

the bombing stuff. One show that happened, because this can tie into the other thing. I remember I did a show in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. And my wife came, and so it was a big night. I was opening for, so Boston,

Boston, I think Boston produces the best standup comics. They, Tony V, Tony V was on the show, legendary Boston comic, but they've had like Burr, Marin, Patrice, like all these people, Stephen Wright, Dennis Leary. Like it's pretty crazy. And then like Joe List, a lot of guys that I'm, Bobby Kelly from, like there's all these comics that are from Massachusetts. And Burr, I said Burr, like he's, and so it's pretty wild. And so we were doing a show in Pittsville, Massachusetts and I got paid to host and I was getting like $500 to host this show which is crazy and it was going to be this packed out room in Pittsville

everything was great, we stayed, it's in a hotel my wife came the show went unbelievable I got paid Vandy beat Georgia that day in football and it was like, what a night.

It's an amazing night. I get paid $500 cash. Can't believe it. It was so much money, and I lose the money. It's in an envelope in my pocket. It's cash? Cash. Gone.

Drops out somewhere. We ask. No one turns it in. And then me and my wife get into a huge fight and the whole weekend was ruined uh not fun at all but i remember at the time i would always tell you think if this 500 matters then we have a bigger problem like i always think that with money like i always think like if if this 500 is true like obviously i don't want to lose it but i always try to think well hopefully someone that has it needed it more than me and then uh i'm just trying to get out of this fight at that

point i'm coming up with anything but it's and then i was like if we if we can't get over this 500 like if this in our life you know like if i mean right now like we can't like we have one less microphone because we're like well we needed that 500 you know we're short we're always 500 short so anyway that story which brings but it was in pittsville massachusetts the reason i thought of this we watched uh all three of us watched unsolved mysteries started on netflix and so we watched one last night i agreed agreed to watch it about UFOs, which I thought was a very – like we all like UFOs. And, you know, I mean, in this year, how crazy 2020 has been,

UFOs have come out. I mean, they've said that they're around, right? Like they've acknowledged them now, the government? Well, those videos that I think came out a couple years ago, that the Pentagon's now acknowledged they're real. Yeah. Not saying they're from outer space, but there's unidentified flying objects that there's video of made by Navy fighter jets.

Yeah. And so they're, yeah. So, I mean, that's the first real acknowledgement. Yes. Of that, this stuff is happening. So we watched, you said you watched, you love space.

All right. Yeah. Like space is your thing. Yeah. You love outer space. I mean, it's a little vague, but yeah, I like aliens in outer space.

I mean, what would you say? Yeah, I just, I love space. You love space like outer space i mean what would you say yeah i just i love space you love space like outer space i did uh which is funny we won't say but like there's the conspiracy theorist of like stuff like uh that someone doesn't believe in space that's a conspiracy right that they don't even believe outer space is real yeah which is my favorite that's like it's it's i think it's above flat earth it's not

there's just no outer space that's up there man that's pretty great uh-huh like what do they think the moon they don't the moon's just i think the moon and the sun are just kind of right above us and then that's it that's it yeah i love that yeah i just that's all we can see. That's all we can see. Well, stars. I'll defend them. Stars? Yeah, you see them, but you don't know how far away they are. They're just really...

Okay. But where would they be? It's right there. But where... So, yeah. So there's no outer space, though. There's no... So they're just right...

They're in our atmosphere. Everything's in our atmosphere. It's just a big snow globe. I guess so. Yeah, that's right. It's like... Yeah. And then there's nothing, yeah. Yeah.

And then there's nothing else around. Yeah. Yeah. And I haven't been out there, so who knows? Yeah, that's true. I love it. Yeah. I love the idea of someone not believing in outer space.

I think it's so great. Uh-huh. Just that they're like, well, you know, if you brought up space, you're like, would you ever go to space? And they're like, I don't think you can. And you're like, what's that? Yeah. And then you ever go to space and they're like i don't think you can and you're like what's that and then you just have to and then they explain why i think it's wonderful you know you probably don't bring that up with many people and it i don't think you can i think it's trusted friends you know yeah i think it's tough uh but i enjoy it yeah i definitely enjoy it i'd rather talk to that guy than someone that does believe in space i think that guy's way more fun to talk to someone that doesn't like that's would you rather talk to him or somebody who claimed who has been in space or claims to have been in space

i don't know i mean that's i mean i could read books about that like i i think i want the guy that doesn't believe i want to get them in a room together oh yeah would be great just to get that conversation going i think is super fun yeah uh i mean you know someone that doesn't i like a nice i don't know something that's so insane that like you know like i i love hearing their side of things it It's wonderful. It's amazing. I think they should teach that in the schools. They should tell the kids. They should be like, we do believe in space,

but just a heads up, as you get in the real world, you might run across a guy that tells you there is no outer space. So there you go. Just letting you know, and then they're like, the kids can digest it how they want to digest it. So we watched Unsolved Mysteries last night. It was about a town. If you haven't seen it, it's the only UFO episode on new Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix.

And so we watched that. And these people had a big sighting of UFO. The UFO that went around, they kind of messed. They went to Pittsville, Massachusetts. And they went a bunch of areas around there. And, I mean, had a real go at these people in this town. I mean, you know, it wasn't like they flew over. I mean, these people.

Oh, you're talking about the UFO had a real go. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The UFO, I mean, it drove around town and did some stuff. Ruined several families, yeah. Yeah, it wasn't, you know, it's not a typical, like, I saw. What was that? Yeah, just, oh, that was quick.

You think that was a UFO? Like, you know, and then, like, that discussion. It was, I mean, this UFO came in to do some work. And it had some. Got it done. It got it done. Kids were abducted. Yep. And put, it done. Kids were abducted. Yep. And put, you know, I mean, one was the lady that kind of starts it.

Her and her son just didn't talk about it forever. It happened to both of them. And then neither one of them brought it up to each other. It was kind of crazy. Like, how do you not, like, they just were too scared, I guess, to say it. You got gotta think this is 1969 so this is you know like obviously there's no internet there's not nothing that you could ever look up so like when stuff happened like this you all he had was the newspapers the next

day or the news and there was no breaking there was nothing like coming you could just cut on the tv and like be like oh let's see did anybody else spot this it was you were going to have to go out on a limb and be like hey man did you i mean it's a tough conversation to because you can't i bet you can't imagine that you're seeing that and so you know you're not going to just walk up and be like hey do y'all anybody else this is also a month and a half after we landed on the moon for the first time. So you probably would come across like, oh, this guy's crazy. You know? Because it's like in the

public discussion. Which probably started the whole go to land on the moon. What? Started what? Well, the fact that we went up there. They got mad? I bet they didn't care for us. And they're like, we we're gonna go back down there I mean the timing

show you guys we can do it as well I mean we go to outer space yeah and then they go alright let's see what's up

like and then you think this was from the moon I think that there's aliens that don't believe

that they've been to earth you know like there's people like us that don't believe that we went to the moon. Yeah. I think in the alien world, they're like, you know, they've been to Earth, and like it was staged. You know, and they go, no, no, they went there.

And they go, we haven't been there. They haven't. These one people they talked to in the car I thought was interesting was they said, because they were like, a light came over them, and it was like kids in the back. And then, you know, they're like, it feels like it's 15 minutes, but it could be three hours. It was three hours. And so they said the only way we know something happened was the mom and the grandmother switched seats. So the daughter's driving, and her mom, the grandmother's not driving.

She said she never drove. Yeah. And then when they wake up, now the grandmother's driving, and so they switch, which would have been super funny if the baby was behind me. That would have been unbelievable. You're like, the baby. And then the person has to go, by the way, the baby never drove. We never like the baby was behind me that would have been unbelievable like you're like the baby and then the person has to go by the way the baby never drove we never let the baby drive but the baby was behind the wheel uh but i was thinking like do you think so the alien messed up yeah he messed that's what i thought and so like does he get in trouble like you know i was

thinking the same thing i mean it just shows even among aliens there's some guys who do their jobs better than others yeah and they're watching like carl yeah no sense of one job the alien didn't have a sense of urgency to get or maybe too much sense of urgency they need to take a picture of the car before it's like the hair yeah it's like why didn't you i mean to this day that he they probably bring it up and they go all right buddy we're gonna go back down there. Who's driving? This guy has never made that mistake ever again, this alien, because he looked like a fool.

Yeah. And then now they go, the grandmother never drives. In fairness, every alien we've seen, they all look the same. To them, we probably all look the same. So he's like, come on, can you really tell the difference? This isn't the time to bring that up, Brian. In the climate that we're in, buddy. You don't need to say stuff like that.

You could make an argument that it was intentional. Why? Right? Like a little nod? The rest of the story is they're not trying too hard not to be seen. And they're kind of just messing with us to a certain extent. So they're like, something that small, switching two people in a car, that's enough to get them talking,

but not enough that they have incontrovertible evidence. I think it was more of a mistake. You think it was just a mess up? I think it was just, you know i think it was just you know aliens have bad days too it's not like they're they have to have bad days this is their this is their big day like they've been planning this for a while well we don't know they could be doing it all the time that one kid the guy who was in the back seat who was telling the story he lives in knoxville now oh yeah and i looked him up we have four facebook mutual friends so i friended him

and uh i think we're gonna become good friends wow i think you might come on the podcast uh well you're not in charge get him and steve bartman to get that's the open invitation him and but they got to come together uh they and we interviewed the wrong one like we don't know we're're like, all right, Steve. So this UFO, did it come? He's like, what's up? And he friended you? Did y'all message or anything?

No, but I was looking at his profile. He's not shy. You always hear about these guys who get abducted. You're like, I don't want to talk about it. He threw a party at a bar in Knoxville. A lot of guys get abducted. It's funny. You're like, you know. This A lot of guys getting abducted. It's funny. This is not your typical

get abducted, keep your mouth shut, I want to be left alone guy. This guy's out there. I love space. This guy threw a party at a bar in Knoxville. A watch party. He's not too traumatized about it. That's funny because I feel like a big part of that

documentary was about the shame and the the secrecy about this for decades right because none of them wanted to be made fun of and then you tell me this guy is like no everybody come watch me on this like yeah well i mean like they the fact that the one lady was like they would get followed home she had a move yeah that was his mom yeah like it's crazy to be like that people would get that mad like they were just like mad at him he's like where could i be accepted for my ufo oh east tennessee yep open to it yeah uh yeah it's crazy i was it made me think too do you have like i mean we got to be how long what are we at like an hour and over an hour clock is at zero hour 20 was i supposed to start that i don't know where it's we hadn't even started uh we're at an We've got to be, what are we at? Like an hour and over an hour? This clock is at zero. Hour 20?

Was I supposed to start that? I don't know. We haven't even started. We're at an hour 20. This is a long one. It doesn't, there's no rules. It's the internet. But do you think you have anything in your life

that could be a Netflix documentary? Like this guy has got to, he walked around like this for 50 years and being like, I could, I mean mean i saw i got addicted to ufo like there's got to be a documentary like do you have anything that's like nothing i mean that's so crazy it's funny like no my life is just straight up i'm very boring like a one episode documentary or like a like a making a murderer no i mean i well i don't know we would decide by what we hear i mean it's how much you just tell us and we'll decide erin i

don't feel like interesting not not singular events but there are interesting things that could be explored not about me specifically but just stuff in my family nothing nothing supernatural yeah or yeah well but you would not say it or no well i could no it's nothing wild i'm just like uh now i don't even want to say i feel like i built it up like it's gonna be i hope it's nothing no i'm just like like uh like a squeaky wheel at the grocery store my mom always gets that wheel you're like oh maybe we dive into why do you always get the wheel you ate ate 36 donuts and set a world record? I'm just talking about my dad being a high school principal. There are a lot of

interesting stories about that kind of stuff, but that would not be a geek. Oh my goodness, dude. Let's move on. We should have ended the episode. My mom was a crossing guard for a couple years. We could probably dive into some of that. I didn't say it'd be a good...

How about you go start your own podcast? My dad was a principal. Let's just dive into those stories. We have 30 minutes. It's a 30-minute full series. Episode 1. Dad's a principal. How'd that go?

Not bad. All right. Thanks for tuning in, everybody. That's a wrap on my dad's a principal I mean golly that wouldn't be the title my dad's a magician I don't think I had the

ego that you had about your dad being a principal I mean honestly my dad's a magician it was a clown I mean we could probably do something I don't know if it's Netflix worthy of a documentary I didn't say I'd be the star of the documentary I mean we could probably do something I don't know if it's Netflix worthy of a documentary I didn't say I'd be the star of the documentary

I'm just saying I'm sorry I brought it up I think the documentary would then turn into who does this guy think he is that he thinks his dad could have that's what it ends up becoming it would be a mockumentary so I guess the answer is no I don't know

next week we're going to bring in Aaron's dad and just really get into some of these stories about him being a principal. All right. I mean, that's roughly it. We did it. This is a long one. And these are the ones that are going to be out. So next week we will have some feedback to see if, you know,

maybe this shouldn't be a podcast, which is completely fine. So, you know, I hope everybody, you know, I don't know, checks it out. If you run, we're going to have, Bates is going to be on the social media, the Nate Land podcast. If you have any, you know, if you want any comments or any of that stuff, questions, maybe we start answering some questions that people have. I am? Yeah.

You're going to be running that. You're the one on social media. If you can log in to the thing. So yeah, go do that. Any questions, any stuff? This is all work in progress. So if it's not good,

don't come yelling at us now. Who knows? Alright, anything else you want to say? You're good? Don't come yelling at us now. Who knows? All right. Anything else you want to say? You're good? No. You're good. Thanks for listening, and we will see you next week.

Bye. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation's Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.