The Nateland Podcast - 20: #20 | Pranks featuring Stephen Bargatze

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

This week, Stephen Bargatze joins the guys to talk about his new magic special and some of his favorite pranks he's been part of over the years. Rocket Money- Rocketmoney.com/nateRocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Try for $0 at  Rocketmoney.com/nate.AG1: Drinkag1.com/NatelandVisit Drinkag1.com/Nateland  to get a free Morning Person Hat and free AG1 Flavor Sampler in your Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription (an $82 value!). Hexclad: hexclad.com/NATELANDFind your forever cookware @hexclad and get 10% off at hexclad.com/NATELAND! #hexcladpartner #adIQBAR: Text PUBLIC to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.

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Okay, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Public Figures podcast. My name's Dusty Slay. I'm one of their three hosts, as usual. Our other two hosts are Aaron Weber and Brian Bates. Okay. All right. All right. And we're pumped to be here.

It's a Wednesday for you. It's a Monday for us. The day of the week doesn't matter. And... Yeah, we don't know when they're watching. listening to this. Yeah, what time is it, does he? It's about 4 o'clock. Yeah, it could be anytime for people, you know. Yeah. This is, this lives on YouTube. This could be, you could be watching this in the year 2029 for all I know. If you had the option to not have to sleep, would you take it? Like, let's say

you didn't need to get any kind of energy. You could stay up 24 hours a day. Would you want that? Yeah, if I didn't have to, yeah, they go one. I've raised this question before because, but then you'd lose out on just like escape. Some people use sleep for escape. But everybody else is going to sleep. Those people are. So you could escape during that time. Those people are suffering from depression.

That's right. But look, we've all been through something bad and we're like, man, I just want to go sleep a while not to think about it. It'd be tough to be a drinker and never sleep. Yeah. Oh, wow. You never pass out. Yeah. Or you never, you know, you just like, you drink all night and then you go, you know what,

I'll just sit up and then I'll go to work in the morning. You never enjoy that. See you guys later. I got to go have a sit. Yeah. You just sit and stare out your front window. You would never get to enjoy the relaxing feeling of a good nap or even a good night's sleep. You wake up.

There's something about just sitting down that's funny. Just sit. You know, those old men that just sit and don't do anything. Yeah. I know very long. Yeah. I bet whittling. I bet so, like, what do you think percentage of people that whittle now?

It's gone down by probably 90%. I would say it's vertical. I think every old man whittled back in the day. Yeah. Because you're sitting and you got nothing to do. Well, yeah, no phones. And it's like, the phones are destroying our lives. They are.

And now they're building data centers everywhere. It's like, what are we even doing with these things? To build right right next to the zoo. Yeah, I think, you know. But then, you know, like they put out, some celebrities put out videos. I'm not going to say their names. But they were like, they go, build it somewhere else. We don't need it here.

And I'm like, how about don't build it at all. Yeah. What's a better place? Yeah. It's like, oh, whoa, we got a lot going on here in the city. Once you put it out in the country with those hillbillies. Yeah, where dusty lives. Build it somewhere else, not around me, buddy.

Of course, of course. But there's all these things now, sensory things to help people just kind of relax. Whittling would be the perfect example of that. It would be great. Just give everybody a knife, see what happens. If you didn't need food, that's funny. Everybody should have a knife. Should be required.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You ever go to a place and they're like, you can't bring your knife in here? I go, what? Yeah. Well, have a spot, have a locker for me to put it at. The airport.

Yeah, the airport or the Ryman or the operator. You can't bring a knife in here? Who's your clientele? Your clientele all carries knives. It's 80% of the place is dusty ghosts. Yeah. You can't bring your knife. And what do you think I'm going to do with a knife?

You can go hide it outside. I'm just trying to whittle out. Right. You think I'm going to stab somebody in the Ryman but not in the street? God. So crazy. If you didn't need food. Oh, God.

You can live without food. You can live without food probably for a while. People fast for really long time. I could longer than, longer than y'all. Yeah. Okay. For the purpose of this, you never needed food again. So you never have to spend money on food.

You never have to like stop. Man does not live by bread alone. Okay. I don't think I'm going to get through this. No, finish it. I want to hear about this. You never have to spend. money on food again. You never have to stop what you're doing because you're hungry. Right.

And you can just live healthy without food, but you never enjoy food. You would never, food wouldn't taste good to you. Your friends go out for a meal. You're not going to enjoy it. Would you do it? I could still go hang with people while they eat. Can I drink still? Is it just eating? Yeah. I guess you could drink. Oh, man. Yeah. I'll take a smoothie. I don't know. It sounds like not an ideal scenario. I think I'd stay the way I am. Ecclesiasty says to drink, eat, and be merry.

So it's like those things are like, this is something that, you know. Well, my aunt says to live, laugh, love. But it's like these are things that make our lives, you know, enjoyable. Being able to eat and drink and take a nap and the rest is just. I don't know if take a nap is part of that. I think it is. Everything is a season. All these things make our lives pleasurable.

Yeah. You know. Yeah. And like good, healthy pleasures. There's plenty of unhealthy pleasures out here that... Let's dig into those. That destroy your life. You know what I mean?

And that's the topic of today's episode, everybody. Unhealthy pleasures. Dusty, you're going to lead this one. Well, listen, guys, this weekend, Brian was in Lowell, Arkansas, at the Grove. Oh, Lowell. How was it? I had a great time. Well, first, I was in Topeka, Kansas on Thursday at the Beacon, doing a show for a wonderful organization called Lifeline Children Services. They helped unwanted pregnancies. They helped them find adoptions. They help with foster care. They help orphanages in other countries. I'm wearing their shirt. It's a wonderful organization. Start in Birmingham, but now they're in all 50 states. Oh, okay. So shout out. That's great.

Why is it on a piece of fruit? I don't know. And I knew you would ask and I try to find out. Like lifeline, maybe it's food. It goes back to what you're saying. They need life. There's a Bible verse on the back of the shirt. It's Old Testament.

You'd like it. Yeah. Is it a lemon? Is that what fruit is? Are they saying no child is a lemon? Could be, yeah. Although I love lemons. Well, anyway.

You could interpret it a million different ways, I think. That's great, though. But they're a wonderful organization. I'm glad to do the show for them because they paid me. But you would have did it for free. Sure. Yeah. It's on the way to Lowell.

Yeah. I would have went to Topeka on Thursday just to help them out. Then I was in, yeah, then I went to the Grove in Lowell, Arkansas. It's been a long time coming. Dusty went to the club when it first started. I've been going for a while. I went to the club when it was in an old location. Yeah.

How long you think that club's been there? 12 years now, maybe? Okay, that's what I was thinking. I don't think that long. No, maybe. I'm going to get me less than that. Maybe nine years? I'm going to say eight.

Okay. Do you know the answer? I don't, but I don't. I'm glad we guessed. Adam Bush, who opened for me, said there's the best shows you've ever had. I love that joke. He was talking about Bill, and who runs, you know, and I said, you know, I don't think Bill's even been in the business that long.

I feel like that club's been there 10 or 12 years is what I guessed. And that's his first dip into comedy, right? Mm-hmm. He's just a successful businessman. Yeah, allegedly. Yeah, we don't know. Yeah, we haven't seen the books. Yeah, exactly.

But anyway. But he's a guy, a friend of ours from Northwest Arkansas who started, just a big comedy fan, started a club, and it's just been growing and getting better every year. I did the last show at the old location. And me and Hannah drove there. my wife and we didn't know really what I was even getting into. I just got booked by a guy. The booker had already like stopped booking for him by the time I showed it. He booked me and then he was no longer the booker. So now I'm communicating with Bill who I don't know. And then

the club's shutting down after that. He fed us so well the whole time. And then when we leave, he's like empty in the cooler, I guess. So he's given us, there was another. guy Bryce oh jeez now Bryce I can't think of his last night now but now

he's a comic in the area I'm sorry I can't think of his last night but he he was staying with us at the cabin and he drank

we didn't drink but he gave us beer and then he started giving us steaks and we were like who is this guy we were like this guy's in the

Illuminati that's what we used to say about Bill because he was just throwing stuff at us yeah my first impression of him was

You and Dan Whitehurst would tell stories. I think you did it. Dan certainly did. He'd come in his airplane to Nashville and pick Dan up and fly him. Yeah, I did it twice with him. Yeah. Yeah. He flew.

I got a video about it. He flew planes in the military for a long time, and now he's, you know, just flying planes on his own. Yeah. So he would come and pick comics up and take him out there. So it's an interesting and fun gig to get to work at that club. So I'm glad he finally got up there, Brian. How does shows go? Shows were great. I've been hearing about it, like you said, forever. You guys all go. I finally got to go. A lot of folks came out. And yeah, nothing really like, no wild stories to share. Just.

You didn't stay at the cabin, though. That's too bad. No, did not stay at the cabin. Flew out of the airport there. They got to, the airport's bigger than I expected. The Fayetteville Airport? Yeah. I think it's called the Northwest. Okay, NWA. NWA, yeah. It's a little bit bigger than that. I mean, it's not big, but they got United, Delta. They're really doing it. They're really doing it. They got Allegiant now. Gosh. Things are coming together, man.

There's a direct flight to Nashville. Oh, that's pretty nice. Yeah. Good, dude. How about you? Had a good time. That's great. What about you, Dusty?

What did you do? You know what I did? I went down to West Palm Beach and I did the Allen Jackson's. It's 5 o'clock somewhere festival. Festival? So it was it all weekend you were there? It was two days. Okay.

And a lot of bands, and I did some comedy. Were you the only comedian? I was the only, well, there was a local comedian there. Okay. He did a different stage. Yeah. And we did a thing together one time. You know, people would go out into the audience and try to fill a tackle box with random things from the audience.

And then you judged their tackle box. Okay. But it was fun. I met Shenandoah. I met John Anderson. Yeah, that was big for you, right? Oh, man. I love John.

I love Shenandoah. too, but John Anderson's one of my all-time favorites. Those years. Yeah. Great. So, do you play that song live? Oh, man. The great thing about John Anderson, he came out just him and another old man.

The old man, they're both old. Yeah. And the old man played guitar and John Anderson played guitar. And they just both sat there and sang. And it was so great. Oh, that's nice. He just, his voice is great. The old man, like, had that, you know, kind of a steel.

the guitar, but then he flipped it over, you know, and kind of played steel guitar on it. And I don't know what that's called, but it's pretty flat top. Like a dobro? Maybe, yeah. Something like that. 71 years old, he's in the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame and the Country Music Hall of Fame. Yeah, he did, you know, old chunk of coal by Billy Joe Shaver. He did a Seminole win, straight tequila night.

Money in the bank. Always get a hard time. He didn't do money in the bank. Just a swinging? Just a swinging, black sheep of the family. Yeah, you sent us a picture of you and him. Yeah. And then I got in the car with Adam.

He goes, Dusty just sent me a picture of him and John Anderson. I'm like, yeah, I guess he's sent it to everybody. I didn't get it if that means anything. I thought you sent it to the group. I think I did. Oh, okay. You just don't know what he looks like. I was like, man, John Anderson is looking rough.

That was actually Dusty. But it was very hot. I met Old Dominion. I saw Ella Langley from, you know, she was heavily protected. I'm sure. I'm sure. From you. From everybody.

But a couple of members of her band, you know, because these are all Nashville people for the most part. So a couple of members of the band, Bendizanis, and we took some pictures together. All right. I met the Coral Reefer band. That's Jimmy Buffett's band. All right. And then Mack McNally, I believe he wrote Margaret. Ritaville.

And he wrote lots of other songs. But Alan Jackson was not there. Alan Jackson wasn't there. I don't understand how it's his festival. He can't be there. You know, I'm betting he didn't even have anything to do with it. Does he even know it happened? Yeah.

And then another band, they have to, legally, they have to, they go, their name is Jammy Buffet. And it's, but they're like jam band that covers Jimmy Buffett songs. And Phoebe Buffet songs. Yeah. So they were great. Smelly cat. Yeah. They played it. And, oh, Rodney Adkins, you know.

Okay. Who was the guy you were sitting down talking to? That's Rodney Adkins. Okay. That's, well, he, I interviewed a bunch of these people. I hung out with Clint Black a little bit on the tour bus. You interviewed them officially, like for the festival? For the festival. Yeah. Yeah. Just the love of the game.

No, no. We walk around. Well, John Anderson, his, his. They said his team declined the interview, but I, you know, bombarded him backstage. And just, well, I wanted to shake his hand. He's got so many great songs. You bypassed the team. That's the way to do it. But then when John Anderson left, he was driving a black wagoneer, and he was driving himself.

And I love that. I love that John Anderson's like, yeah, I just drive down there and do that. What was the license plate number? I don't know. Drives a black wagoneer. But it was just cool. Well, I didn't want to imply that he was driving a crap. crappy car.

Right, right. But he was driving himself, and I loved it. I was like, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. At 71. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome.

Well, I was in Florida as well. I was down in Navar Beach, Florida. My parents were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. So for the first time in years, the whole family was together. Okay, sorry. Got to let them go. Okay. Like, dear.

He said years. First time in. It's a John Anderson song. I don't know about it knows you guys. It's one of the newer ones. It's very good, though. Sorry, go ahead. So for the first time in years, we were all under the same roof for a full weekend.

My mom, dad, me and all my siblings and all of our kids in one house. So we had 10 kids all under the age of 11. Wow. Six of our own crutches. Everybody was actually only one was on crutches this time. Okay. One had just sprained her ankle, but it was. Dude, that many kids in one house, it gets, it's a lot.

Yeah. It's a lot. There's a big difference between one kid and 10 kids. Yeah. The difference in one and three, I can tell you that. Yeah. So one in 10 is wild. Yeah.

So we were right on the beach, which is great. If you're watching, you can see I don't have a tan. I didn't get out there that much at all. I wonder if the beach will be a little more fun for me when Olive's a little older. She can't really do much at the beach right now. You just sit her down and then, you know, it's hot out. She gets overheated and I just take her back. Yeah.

Sit in the air conditioning. I do love air conditioning in Florida. You get out, I was out all day, but they had air-conditioned tents. So you go sit in there for a little while and then get back at it. Air-conditioned tents? Well, they were big tents. Oh, okay. Not just like, I'm thinking just like a family had one at the beach.

No, no. That would be pretty nice. Yeah. I forgot to say this. set is thousands of people out there. Outdoor event. My set was in the middle of the day. So you can imagine how that goes. People are not really paying that much. Standing up. Standing up. So I go out there. I got 20 minutes. I tell one joke doesn't really get much of reaction. I go, okay. So that's what this is going to be. So I just kind of start riffing with the audience.

And then I do my John Mellencamp joke. And it doesn't do very well. And then I go, I go, Kathy would hate this. I go, you know what guys? You guys know this song? Let's just sing it together. And I started singing. I sang about half of Jack and Diane on state. No one, I don't think anyone joined in. But I, I just kept saying. Are you doing this with the mic?

No, no, I just kept singing though. And not even commenting on it? Just like, just sing the song. Yeah, come on, guys, get in, you know. I go,

if you sing along, you can't hear me. And, are you between bands? Is that with a setup? Between bands, but also like, there were long breaks in between the band.

So it wasn't like, you know, I'm... The band's not setting up behind you as you're up there. They are doing, but I got this little catwalk that I went on. Oh, okay. Oh, nice. Deep out in there. So you're kind of in the round.

Yeah, I mean, and I was selling merch and there were people with my hats on out there. So I had fans. It wasn't a lot, but it was just a rowdy. It's just not a good environment for jokes. No, no. And so I was like, who has the best hat? You know, I was doing stuff like that. And it got a little dirty, honestly, because people had some pretty crude hats.

And there were some kids out there. It took a turn. Yeah, but it was fun. I loved it. Like, a couple, you know, that was Friday. And then Saturday people would see me and them go, oh, man, that was a tough crowd yesterday. And I go, I had a great time, guys. I had a great time.

But you knew what they meant. Yeah, I didn't know what they meant. Because you just go out, you know, it's like when you do enough gigs, you go, all right, I know what this is going to be. Yeah. I'm still going to try the jokes. I still had a set list, but when you do one of your jokes that always works, and then it gets really no reaction, you go, I'm not going to lose confidence in all these jokes right now. I'm not going to cast these pearls before swan. Yeah. You know, let's just sing Jack and Diane.

I got into it. I had a good time. Yeah, I think you've probably got into a place where, and you may have always been like this, where it doesn't affect you enough to, if you'll do a bad gig, if the money's right at least, and you'll be fine with it. Yeah, as long as you, you know, you got to make sure you sandwich them in between gigs where it's going well. Yeah. Too many in a row, you can lose confidence. It's so funny because the first question I ask now for corporate stuff is, will they be sitting down? Yeah.

Because even I don't like to watch comedy standing, you know, like Jack White's room. I saw a comedy show there when I first moved here. It was like Demetri Martin, who I really liked. time and it was standing and i go i hate this yeah i hate every second everybody's trying to look at the painting yeah yeah you know i hated it the uh but this weekend i'll be in austin at the mother ship okay that's gonna be exciting to go from that to a perfectly designed room yeah it's gonna be much different pumped about that you're still gonna sing half of jack and diana we'll see what happens that's the most i people i've ever sang in front of now i want to do a thing i want to i want to

see if the opera will let me do it. This is how it starts. It's already starting. I want to see if the opera will let me do this where I go like they don't necessarily introduce me as a comedian and then I go out and sing a song and see how polite the audience is about it. Dude, I think they'll be polite, but I feel like you need to tell them your comedian. I want to sing it. If they bring you out as a musician, that's what I want them to do. People would be upset. Bring me out as a musician. And then I go, you know, 30 seconds of the song and then go, nah, I'm just kidding. You log off Facebook.

There'd be 100 comments. The opera used to be so great. I said that to one of the backstage or, you know, stage musicians one time I go, I'm going to do that and see how long he goes. Oh, it happens all the time. I guess he's saying bad people come across the stage all the time. They're not obviously not all bad, but there are bad musicians that come across the stage. But they usually have a band playing behind them.

That sounds pretty good. But I also maybe could get the band to join in with me. In two years, you won't be doing stand-down. You'll just be singing. Singing and writing AI songs. That would be the dream. That's what I've always wanted to do. Now I'm writing AI songs and I go, I bet I could just, now that AI has written this,

I'll just sing it. Yeah. And put it on. That's where I thought we were headed the whole time. Yeah. I think I'm going to do that. at the grand old opera. Yeah.

Put an album and then I'll do a podcast with Post-Bolome complaining, Hillary's complaining about these new country singers. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Well, I wish you luck, man. Yeah, it's going to be great. It's a natural transition for me.

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RocketMoney.com slash Nate. You want to start off with these comments? Yeah, let's get into them. These comments come from Twitter, Instagram. YouTube, Apple Podcasts reviews, and mail at natlandpodcast.com. Speaking of Twitter, I'm on there a lot and, gosh, that's fun. That's the only reason I stay on. It's because of you. It's my most fun social media now. Okay.

I'm just commenting and I love it. Okay. M-L-E of Stonetown. That's what this name is. This was a great episode. Aaron's deep voice description of the flower book combined with Dusties and Brian reactions made me laugh. And even though I find things funny, I'm not typically a laugher. But y'all really got me today. Thank you for giving us an opportunity to laugh.

I don't remember what M.L. Lee is talking about. Flowers of Algernon? Oh, yeah. Flowers for Algernon. Yeah. Yeah. Very sad book. Did you read it over the weekend? Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Gosh, it's sad. I couldn't believe you brought it up. on the podcast. When was the last time you watched a movie by yourself and you laughed out loud? I don't know. I re-watched recently on a plane Meet the Parents.

And there were some scenes in that where I'm not like laughing to the point where people around me are looking, but... You were laughing out loud on the plane? The headphones on? I'm laughing, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A little chuckle. A little chuckle. A little guffal. Yeah. All right. There's some very funny... I'm trying to... I feel like I'm having to fend that movie.

it. No, it is a funny movie. I'm just, I'm just thinking if your buddy was with you, you'd be to laugh so much more. I don't know what that is about laughter. I don't know the science behind it. I remember being on a plane and watching office space. Very funny movie. But I think me and my buddy were both watching on our, and I was laughing so much. Like I had to like calm down a little bit. That's great. I was on an airplane listening to a Neil Hamburger album. And it was really making me laugh. Okay. Just headphones on? Like too much. Just listening? Yeah. I saw Disclosure Day this week here. Okay.

Was it good? Made me question everything about my family. It made you question all your beliefs? Yep. Yep. It was... Fine. Yeah.

Okay. They said it was Steven Spielberg's best movie in 10 years. Since Saving Private Ryan? That's what they said. It's been nearly 30 years. Do you remember what the... Time flies. Yeah.

Do you remember what the last one, 10 years ago? No, but... War of the Worlds? Is that 20 years ago? Yeah, it's probably 20 years. I realized that the... War Horse?

The first episode, season one, episode one of Colombo was directed by Stevensville. Was it really? The old... That's why Colombo is so great. All the old Columbo's have great directors and it's like many movies

and they're very good. That's very interesting. Yeah. What year was that? 70s. Yeah. Long. time ago. Because Close Encounters

was one of his first movies. I think that was like 77 or so. Yeah. He's old, man. Yeah. The old man. All right. Here comes another Ashley Shipe. I love how much Dusty laugh. Oh, gosh.

I love to see how much Dusty loved all my old jams. Nellie, Usher, Lincoln Park, Kenny Chesney. Ah, the early 2000s was a good time. Yes, it was. I mean, late 90s, early 2000s, I mean, yeah, I mean, man, I was crushing Nellie.

Usher really only had one or two songs that I liked. Lincoln Park, I jammed that album so much. Kenny Chesney, unbelievable. All up until she thinks my tractor's sexy, he lost me there. But now I go back in time and listen to that song and I go, that's a good song. Because I feel like listening to it, you think. that he's out farming and some girl comes along and just finds him attractive on the tractor. Yeah.

But when you think about it, well, maybe he's married to her or dating her and she just finds him attractive on the tractor. Right. I don't think it's actually about tractors. Maybe not, but, you know, I'm not. Maybe it is. Maybe it is. What's it about?

I think it's, you know, a thinly veiled euphemism. She's always staring at me while I'm chugging along. Yeah. I don't know. Sucking on Chili Dog. I don't know. I mean, I get what you're saying. I like Kenny Chesney.

I've never liked that. I didn't know this. I thought this is not a conspiracy. I think that's what it is. Am I crazy? Most of the things that I say are not conspiracies either. You think everything's... No, what I'm saying.

I don't think this is a hot take or I didn't think I was... She comes out. I'm on my tractor and she comes out with a... A basket full of chicken and a big cold jug of sweet tea. Like, what's... I don't know what you're doing in your bedroom, but... Aaron, what's going on? I might be getting this confused with Take You for My Big Green Tractor.

Yeah. Okay. That's a much different song. Yeah, I think so. Okay. I'm sorry about that. Sorry about that, everybody. Kenny Chessie, I didn't mean a disrespection like that.

Now, it could be still something like that, but I just, you know, I just view it differently now. and I think it's a good song. And I think... I think Aaron just has a dirty mind. I think we... I mean, probably everyone does. Yeah. It's a dark...

It's a fallen world over there. Okay. The next one is Cole Slaw. The decision to cover the early 2000s year by year is going to turn out to be a fascinating study at how everything devolved from that time period in terms of entertainment, mental health, food, morality, etc.

Everything begin to go downhill. Well, Coleslaw, if you know the podcast, you know, we're not going to talk about those things. We're going to talk about all the good stuff and what brings us together. That's what we do here on the public figures podcast. I will say Cole gets it, though. I mean, I thought Dusty has to be Coleslaw. Yeah, I mean, this guy gets it. Don't you think, though, throughout the history of time, there have been people like Dusty and Coleslaw who thinks back in the day,

was the good old days and now everything's fall into Dusty and Coleslaw sounds like Dusty is like using a puppet on stage your ventriloquist dummy. Shutgun red Dusty and Coal

Hey everybody I'm Coleslaw How's it hanging Dusty? We built a great country right so it's going It's building building building building and we get way up here And what a great country it is And then the downfall begins. And it's still so good that it really takes a while to notice how much it's fallen. It's like a roller coaster.

That's the most exciting part of the ride. What I'm saying, though, is every generation throughout history has thought. I don't think throughout history is what I'm saying. I think there was a point where it was always getting better. I know it, but that's your opinion. And I'm saying there's always throughout history. Your opinion. There has been people.

Come on. I don't think you're getting what I'm saying. I think you're so dumb that you only live in your little world. You're saying that every generation thinks everything's going downhill. Once they get a certain age, they reminisce about the good old days, the music, the entertainment. See, I don't think so, though. I mean, I think that a downfall began, and then now as we get older, it is getting worse all the time. So we notice it.

Like, you know, they were like, people you said that about Elvis, you know, oh, he's dynast, gyrating his hip. on stage and it's like, and that's bad and it's like, but look how much worse it is now. When do you think it hit its peak? Woodstock 99, Lindbiscuit. That's when you'd go back in time. I think that there's something to that. Woodstock, I mean, 99? I mean, that's a.

Oh, okay, well, I'm so wrong then. It just happened to be the peak of our nation was right when you were getting out of high school. Well, I mean. It's like every Saturday Night Live. No, no. I think it started to go. down in the 60s. Oh, okay.

That's what I, morality really dipped. So you're blaming Brian. Yeah. And his people. Yeah. Because it's like, you know, we used to be like people would like really cook and they would grow food and it would be, you know, it was hard work. But then this era of convenience came in where we started getting all these canned goods

and everybody was like, ooh, this is easy. And then we started to have a lot of time on our hands. You know what to say about idle hands? The devil's play things. Yeah. So where did that come from? I don't know. What a weird saying that is.

It's probably true, though. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I see what you're saying, Brian, but I've given this a lot of thought. I have as well, and I think you're wrong. Well, I'm not. You kind of prove my point. We've reached a classic impasse here on the podcast.

I don't even know that I'm saying you're wrong, but I just, I just think that we can all, because I've always kind of felt like, oh, man, things are. You just got through saying how those were the good old days. I said those were good songs. I mean, it was good. But morality-wise, all bad. All of that music is bad. Yeah.

You know? I mean, come on. We've been pretty bad. Was food better back then? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I go to a rest. I don't even like going to restaurants now. Yeah.

I was in West Palm Beach. I walked by so many restaurants on my way to the grocery store to get food. Because I'm like, I don't even, it's all the same. Yeah. you think it was better right then? Yeah, I'm sure it probably was. As far as you mean ingredients and stuff? Yeah.

Yeah. Speaking of good ingredients, I'm pretty excited to read the next comment here. Okay. I'm not done on it, Aaron. I think your kids look back to this. These are the good old days. Yeah, I mean, because it'll be so much worse by the time they get older that it will appear that it was the good old days of their life. Because when it's always getting worse,

the past is always better. Okay. Yeah. Did you know we hit a record low crime rate last year? Record low reporting. I shouldn't say crime rate, murder rate. Record low arrest. Okay.

Yeah. All right. Okay. Erica Zach Ruzzi. Zuck Rizowski. I would venture to guess no one has ever gotten that name right. No. On the first try?

Now, couldn't agree more with Aaron's take on the Heath Bar. Definitely underrated. Also, bring back Butterfinger Beebees. I'm not as moved by the call for Butterfinger Beavis. I do remember them. I remember them fondly. But. You remember Whoppers?

It's not something I miss. The Candy Whoppers. They're not around anymore? I think they are, but only like at the movie things. The malted milk balls, that kind of thing. I used to buy, my mom would buy me like the big milk carton of them. I was a junior mint guy if I had to pick. If you got woppers around, junior mints are close by.

Right? We never were a minty family. Okay. Maybe a peppermint patty here and there. Yeah. It wasn't a decision we made as a family. It was just something I liked. I think it is, though.

Okay. You may not be conscious of it, but you say, you know what? Get some junior mints up in this place. Yeah. If I ever get fired for you, Friends Podcasts. It's coming. Yeah.

I'm going to try to get this comment put back in. Bring back Butterfinger Beebe. That could be a new name for you. Yeah. Butterfinger Brian Bates. That's why I was the joke. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's move. Bring back. Let's move on. You're pretty into moving along. You're pretty into moving. Where you got to go, Aaron?

Yeah, I mean, you got something going on? All right. Jennifer Wiley-Ry. I got nothing going on. Dusty, are you a madman when it comes to a Kit Kat? Yep. They are the best candy bars on the market besides the Twix. This guy likes or this girl likes a candy.

Things are coming too. Snickers are way overrated and unnecessary. Unnecessary. It's all unnecessary. Thanks for another great episode. I agree, Jennifer. Yeah, Kit Kat serves a role in this country. Snickers is completely undefat.

I said Twix may be my stuff. second favorite. I don't like a Twix. But KitKat, I'm not saying I don't like a KitKat. I'll eat it. But that's kind of, it's... You ever have the, the Kit Kat Churro? No. Flavored? Where's that at? Kit Kat is taking some swings out here, man. The white chocolate I already talked about, but then we got chocolate frosted donut, mint and dark chocolate, raspberry cream, lemon crisps, churro, birthday cake. Let me ask you this. Yeah. You ever had a Snickers ice cream bar?

Yes. Who are you talking to? Is that a rhetorical question? Well, sort of. Put today on the end of that sentence. That's a good ice cream bar. Yeah. It is good.

I'm not saying a Snickers is bad. You know, those ice cream, though, it's not something going on. Like, you take an ice cream sandwich and you put it in the sink at night and you go, I'm done with this? It doesn't melt. Yeah, you wake up in the morning, it's still there. Did I tell you, I drank a Celsius when I drove into the airport and I parked, and I drank about half of it and I left it in my car.

Three days later, I got back, still carbonated. Wow. That's probably not good, right? Probably not. And I drank it, the rest of it. Yeah. I mean, I would do it, too. Yeah.

But. But you leave a Diet Coke out for 30 seconds, it goes flat. Yeah. Because they make a quality product. That's right. Coke has been nothing fishy going on. Yeah, yeah. Coca-Cola company. All right, here we go.

Moving along. Next comment comes from Angie Sickler. Great name. Aaron and Brian, dot, dot, dot, think about it. Okay, Dusty sit this one out. If the aliens were benevolent, why don't we have any positive stories about alien abductions? I've never heard of an abductee who said, They brought me to their spaceship just to party with them.

And then they showered me with gifts because they're super nice. No, never. Wow. I do think there are some stories, though, of benevolently. Not exactly partying and giving you gifts, but people who said they've been brought on and they said, don't worry, we come in peace. They speak English? Maybe through it telepathically. Okay.

I don't know. But, oh, I think there are stories out there of people that said they had positive experiences. being abducted. I wish that if you were going to come with that information after putting that comment on, you would have found one of those to read to us. Well, I thought I'd give Aaron something to do. Yeah, that's true.

I mean, he just sits here all the time. But he's going to want to move along before he finds it. I mean, I just think, well, let's hear a positive one. Like, what happened? They got up there and they were like, listen, we do got to mess around with you? Because that's what we do. That's our quest.

We're going to be cool. about. Well, hang out afterwards. Yeah, how do you want us to do it? We do have to take things from you. Take it out. 1954, Mexican businessman Armando Zubran detailed a six-day experience

where he lived harmoniously aboard extraterrestrial crafts. And... He just wanted to take a week off. Yeah. Go ahead. I'm sorry. He said he had ethereal,

gentle dialogue telepathic communication where the beings imparted complex geometric images, quantum concepts, and profound wisdom directly into his mind. That sounds pretty nice. That does sound nice. And he had a profound sense of serenity, interconnectedness with the universe in a deep, lasting feeling of enlightenment. Too bad we had to go back 75 years to find a positive.

Those are the good old days. Now all these aliens out here. doing all kinds of stuff. I guess it's collapsing in the whole universe. Yeah. All right. Here's the next one. Jack Rickens.

I think it's Rickens or Richens? I'd say Richens. What do you think, Aaron? Rickens. Rickens. I think Rickens. Okay. Bates continuing to mock Aaron's Randy Newman impressions

has to be the most ironically delusional thing ever on the show. I think Brian should do an impression. from the top grossing film every year for the rest of the 2000s. I don't even think I've mocked you, Randy Newman. I don't even know what this guy's talking about. There was one time where... You thought I was doing a Tony Shaloob impression. Yeah, I thought it was mocked.

I'm like, that's the same impression. Yeah, it's terrible. And then last week, I mentioned it in a joking way when you were talking about calling your bank and they know your voice. I said you should have been Randy Newman. Oh, yeah. Okay. But I wasn't...

It's ironically delusional, though. But I appreciate it. Because I think I'm good at impression. Yeah. Either way, I appreciate Jack having my back. Yeah. I don't think that you think you're good at impressions. I don't really, but that's the joke I like to play.

Because I always thought it was a joke. Yeah, of course. That would be delusional if I thought I was actually good. I think Jack Rickens needs to check himself. Yeah. I'll do it. Lord of the Rings. Okay.

This is 2002 and 2003. Who are you doing? Gandalf. Okay. Is he the wizard? Yeah. Yeah, he's the wizard. Let's make sure I'm doing. You shall not pass.

Oh, that is good. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Jack is crazy. Exactly. He would do the wizard as Randy Newman. Yeah. You shall not pass. Somebody said it to me. I go,

I'm going to pass. If that's the guy yelling. I'm going to go ahead and pass. Why don't you get out? the way. Did I get the line right? Yeah, sure. Okay. Amanda Surgeons. Brian, I can no longer eat popcorn due to a similar issue with the kernels. Oh, gosh. RIP, the best movie snack in my life. This episode had me laughing out loud and looking a little crazy while driving to work. Dusty story about GGW was hilarious.

It is funny. I think what you guys got to do is you guys just got to chew it up. You really got to chew. You really got to chew. I had some popcorn at the movie that went to. You really got to chew. Okay. And how to go?

Everything okay? Everything's great. Okay. Yeah. Is it possible you'll find something later? Like, it might take a while? He could. Someone gets kicked backed up.

Gets locked in. A little acid reflux. Yeah, yeah. Where'd that say you come from? You never know. You never know. I saw a TikTok or a TikTok or a text. tweet or my dad told me, I don't know. Somewhere where you, however much you think you got to chew,

you should chew like twice as much. Yeah. Yeah. I tried doing that and I thought this is not worth it. We, we, yeah, I mean, I eat too fast for all that chewing. And, uh, I like to try to chew as little as possible. Yeah. Just, just to, just to challenge myself. You know, they say that our teeth are all, our teeth and our taste buds and our tongue, it's all sending signals to our body, digestive system to let it get ready. for what's coming down. Okay. And then we're aiding the digestive system by the saliva on the food. Sure.

And then helping break it down before it reaches our stomachs. Right. So that food doesn't go down like partially chewed and ferment in our stomachs. Mm-hmm. So. Yeah, I believe it. Yeah, I think almost all of us eat too fast. Yeah.

Brody Martin. I hid my Girls Gone Wild tape and a grease VHS box cover, which my grand. later sold at a yard sale. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. But you know what? We watch Greece at my house. So that would have been a bad place for me to hide. How often? Like once a week. I loved Greece. Gather around kids. It's Greece time. Sunday night. You know what that is? Sunday night. Y'all know what that means. Columbo and Greece. Columbo and Greece. I had the Greece soundtrack. The Slay hour.

A lot of people don't know that about me. I had the Greece soundtrack. Tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me more. How much dough did he spend. It's great. Well, somebody at that yard cell was a big surprise. What's your favorite song? Off the album? Yes. Well, there's three that, you know, there's that one and there's grease lightning.

And then there's the last one. I got chills. They're multiplying. Yeah, that's probably the one, right? Yeah, I liked it better on the movie than off the soundtrack. It's a little different. But Greece Lightning is a pretty hot song. What about hopelessly devoted? That's probably my least favorite. I like the one, I like the beginning of the,

Stranded at the Driving, branded a fool. What will they say? Sorry, Kathy. Monday at school. Yeah, cool if we move on. Sandy. I've never seen Greece. You never seen it? I know about it.

A bunch of 50-year-old men than high school. It's a really great movie. And they hang out with the sock-hop and just, like, beat up. We should have a sleepover. Watch it. I'm thinking, don't they, like, street gangs fighting each other, right? The teabirds. Yeah.

And they race at the end for pink slips. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Sounds terrible. It's so good. I'm sure it is, but the way they all just described it sounds terrible. Lorenzo Llamas is in it.

Oh, wow. Sign me up. I have no idea who that is. I know who John Travolta is. Who's the main woman? You really don't know, do you? Who's Judy Garland? Not Judy Garland.

What's her name? Olivia Newton-John. Oh, my bad. Yeah. Olivia Newton-John. You can't say you know it if you don't even know who the... That's true. Just in the Zygax.

Does she do anything else? She was a singer. Yeah. Oh, okay. Let's get physical. Oh, she was. in Zanadu. Yeah.

That's where I know from. 1980 Zanadu. Yeah. John Travolta's really one of the best of all time. At what? At acting. At acting?

Yeah. In what? Everything that he's ever been in. Okay. Except for... I don't think he cracks the top 50, dude. Oh, man. We've covered this a few times.

Remember the Super Bowl where you were going to play about all the commercials? commercials, Nate's commercial you're complaining about. Now it was the year before, but how all these actors in it? And then we both said our favorite was the one with John Travolta. Yeah. You're like, let's move on. Stunk, man.

Then y'all liked it. Yeah. That's all right. We got different. It's okay to disagree, as we learned earlier on this podcast. Is there a John Travolta movie you like? No. Okay.

I don't know. I can't name him. Pulp Fiction? Oh, Pulp Fiction is good. Yeah, sure. Saturday Night Fever. Yeah, he's in a lot of great movies. To say he's one of the best actors.

It's crazy, though. Oh, I don't think it's crazy at all. But Saturday Night Fever, really great. The sequel, Staying Alive, is one of the worst sequels of all time. Okay. I'll go look it up. Yeah. What about Get Shorty?

Yeah, that's a great movie. I don't know. Boy, this guy. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They didn't even know any of his movies. He's like, he's a bad actor. Yeah. No, I didn't say he's a bad actor, but one of the best actors of all times is crazy.

Back it up. What about face off? Face off, fine. With Nick Cage? Nick Cage is a better actor than John Travolta. I disagree. What are you talking about? I disagree.

Okay, next one. Z. Boogie. The way Dusty says, geez, when he is mildly disgusted by something, never fails to make me laugh. Well, you'd laugh a lot around me, I think. If you like mild disgust, Dusty's your guy, for sure. Come on, guys. Oh, geez. It's just a good way to go.

You know, it's mild. I contemplated stopping saying it for a while, but now I'm back. Well, some people think it's – Well, some people believe that it's like you're saying Jesus, but you're saying it's short. But I'm careful, even when I text it, I always spell it with the G and not a J. So I'm not completely separating. I'm going, geez Louise. You're also using a Z, which is not in Jesus.

Exactly. Yeah. But I was convicted about it a little bit. If Desi writes a song, it would be called, geez, take the wheel. Well, yeah, it would be like me talking to the passenger. Just take the wheel. If you want to complain about my driving the whole time, you do it. Exactly.

Yeah. Jeez. You're an Uber driver. Yeah. I had an Uber driver pick me up the other morning real early. She goes, I'm so sleepy. I go, dang, we got 50 more minutes there. Let me drive.

Yeah. All right. Posey Luke 62. I still remember when texting started to gain popularity. There were countless times I said, why would I take the time to type out a message when I could just call them? Oh, how times have changed. I remember that too. I remember trying to get my dad to add texting to our cell phone plan. He was like, this is ridiculous. Yeah. Why would you ever do this? Now it's the only way we talk. Yeah. I'm always. I'm annoyed when people go out. I go, oh, there must be an emergency. How do you like people knocking on your door? I don't care for it. Yeah. It happened today.

Yeah, what happened? It sent me off. Like, I get road rage when filling out forms at the doctor. Okay. They'll send a head pre-register. And I'm like, why do you need to know all this stuff? And then you'll get there and they're like, fill out these forms. I'm like, well, what was the ones I signed up?

Fill out of four head of time. Right. Right. I just did one last week, and I never get comforted. I'm not dusty. Okay. But they were like, reason for visit. And I'm like, you guys called me and said, it was time for a checkout.

You wrote that on the floor. Yeah, you tell me, guys. I don't like reason for visit. I go, I'm here to talk to the doctor. Don't ask me out here in the lobby why I'm in here. Yeah. Sir, could you please tell the waiting room what you're in here for? Yeah, you just let me, I don't even want to tell you.

I got a joke like that. Could you describe your rash, please? About the nurse. I don't want to tell the nurse. Oh, yeah. But it's in the lobby. Yeah. I mean, listen, back in the day, I've gone in for things and I go.

I'll just talk to the doctor about it, right? Yeah. They, uh, they, I just sit it back and they text me. They said, hey, you didn't fill out the form. We're sending it back to you. Wow. And I said, it asked for my last, the date of my last visit and, and something else. I said, I don't know that.

It seems like you guys would know that. that. And then they were like, well, just don't worry about that. You skip that. We just need your medical history. I'm going to start, could you stop answering so snarky? I'm like, who am I? Yeah, I mean, don't you guys have records back there? Have I not filled this out before? Have I not been to this walk-in clinic before? I think I have. Nate has a joke where he says, as soon as you fill out, they just take it and throw it in the trash. Yeah. That's what it feels like.

Rick Sanford the Third. I totally agree with Brian about going back to hear Jesus speak, but he never mentioned if you would understand. Unless you fluently speak Aramaic, Hebrew, or Greek, I believe it would just be gobbly gook. That's what this guy thinks about those languages. Plus, I also think you could go back in time. Also, think if you could go back in time to hear Jesus speak, I think he would know and may call you out. Nah, he'd be cool about it. Yeah, I mean, you know what? I think there was a whole thing about them speaking in tongues and being able to everybody could understand it. I think everybody can understand Jesus. Yeah, that happened after. Yeah, but I think that Jesus had that power.

Yeah. I just meant I could see miracles. I could see resurrection. There's some things you don't need to know the language to still see what's going on. But this guy thinks every language he can't understand is gobbly gook. Yeah. Come on. Gobbled de gook. It would be for me. Gobbled. Gobbledy gook. If I see a guy... It's gobbled. It's gobbled and gobbledee. If I see a guy out on the lake walking across the water, I'm like, what are you saying? That's true. That's true.

Yeah. I can tell you take Rick Sanfer the Third's side of this. His dad, the second, good guy. But this guy, little Rick. That's when things started going downhill. Yeah. There shouldn't be a fourth. Yeah. There shouldn't be a fourth. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

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Some things coming up here. June 28th, Nate Land presents at the Woolworth Theater, three half-hour specials. Alex Vlito. Oh, very good. Mike Goodwin and John Heffron. This June 28, 3 o'clock here in Nashville at the Woolworth Theater. Those are three great comics.

They are three great comics. That's going to be a hot show. So get tickets for that. Nate Land presents the showcase season 5 is August 23rd, 24th, 25th here at the lab. Great. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Tickets are on sale for that. And the third one, I'll go ahead and say it, and then we'll bring him on and talk about it. Stephen Bargetse special. All right. Out in a minute. His magic special comes out this Thursday, June 18th at 4 o'clock. So let's get Stephen in here to talk about it. All right. All right. Welcome to the podcast, Mr. Stephen Bargazzi. What an entrance. Wow. Magical.

Just appeared. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. We, you know, before we took, you know, we had led up to it. We let everybody know that you got a special coming out. Oh, wow. And we're very excited about it.

All right. Do I get a little poster in here maybe? Yeah, you got a poster back there. All right. That's the temporary spot. That looks great. It'll be under the table in a month. Yeah.

But still right now. In a minute, you know. I'm impressed. It'll be out in a minute. Okay. You can do that in there. That's good. Yeah.

I didn't come to your taping, but I came to the after party for the cake. Yeah, that's normal. And the after party was great. The cake was delicious. It was great. Yeah, that's all I know about it. No, I have seen your specialist. It's great.

How do you, he brings up guests after guest after guest for the audience. You've always done that. Have you ever had somebody that just got hostile or just was a bad choice? Oh, yeah. Okay, can you tell us, but? I've had, I'm trying to think. Probably many times. Yeah, many, many times.

How do you decide who to choose? All right, that's a great question. And for me, that's why Nathan and sometimes, like, even when I'm doing the arena is with Nathan, I walk around before. Because I am so relying on that being a good person. Yeah. And that sometimes when we're in Madison Square Gardens, I got a horrible lady that was, but normally what happens. happens, you know, bless her heart, she's going to hear this. And go, well, that was me.

But I want, because I'm doing some things, I want somebody that doesn't, is not begging to get up there. Yeah. I don't think you have to worry. I don't think horrible people listen to this podcast. Okay. Okay. All right. That's good.

They comment. I didn't know something. But they don't listen to it. Yeah. I bet I would like her. You would love her. But what she ended up being was, I mean, she didn't, I thought she was perfect. Because for each trick I kind of do, I need a certain person.

So for the closer, the second closer in this one, I need a lady with long hair by earling. Yeah. And I want wearing wings. And then I just wanted to be like, but I don't want them to go, please, please pick me. I want them to go, I don't know. And then her husband goes, oh, come on, you'll do it or do something. That's my lady because she's a little timidate. She wants to get, and I think they just want to get up and get off.

They want to please me. They're not going to fight me and go. And I don't care. If they're too eager, they really want to be part of the show. And you're like, I need you to be a regular person. That's right, normal. Don't try to be clever with how you're answering stuff. Yeah, but you hate to tell them that.

No red wine mouth. I like an older person. Okay. And I like somebody that's talking about. If I don't get to meet them out, I look at somebody, I don't want the lady sitting by herself. Yeah. I want somebody this kind of. Nobody wants her.

No. No. So. I'm a her. No, it's obvious. So you're just walking around the arena judging people based on how they look. And sometimes I, but a lot of times I'll do a trick. Yeah.

And, you know, I do a trick where I stick a plunger on a bald head guy's head. So I'm going to talk to, I want to talk to him. I don't want to go, you know, I might go up, hey, buddy, let me, you got a comb, I can borrow. I'm just messing with you. And if he, if he's a jerk about it, then he's not my guy. Yeah. But if he left, oh, I left my cone, you know, if he, if he's, if he's, if he's, if he's, if he's, Then I know, all right, he can take anything I can throw at him.

What if he doesn't get the joke? Yeah. I'll save you for another trick. I'll go here, put this hat on. Yeah, but there's times I've had to bail on people, too. I mean, I've been doing it for 45 years. You know, go ahead. I go, yeah, yeah, I go, that's enough of you. Yeah.

And stuff. A lot of time, I remember I go, wait, I read the script. You're not in it. You're talking way too much. Yeah. And you try to hint to them. But usually alcohol is the biggest problem. When they get you and you don't know that they've had to look too much.

Yeah. But the lady pointed it dusty when you said that. Alcohol is the biggest problem. We were talking about alcohol while in the break. And doing improv, we would do that some too. You bring people up on stage. And the people that are the drunkest are all there. They think they're fun.

Yeah, they're like making up stuff. You're just asking them questions and they're trying to make up their job. Well, isn't improv your greatest fear that they're going to be better than you at improv immediately? Yeah, I mean, well, that's why I don't like crowd work. Yeah. Right. But it's the time I made a living off of doing that. I think I'm pretty good if I talk to them and get them.

This lady at the Madison Square Garden was a ballroom dancer. And when she got up there in front of the lights came on, it brought back memories. And she just started dancing. I couldn't get her, control them and stop it. I had literally mute my mic and go, stop it, just get over here and be normal. Yeah. And I'm having to be rustling around. Yeah.

Every time I text her, she always dreamed and she's bowing. She wanted to do the split. Did she tell the crowd she was a dancer? No, I don't know. Were they cheering for her, though, when she was dancing? I don't know. I was so panicking, just like stuff it. I mean, I only got eight minutes.

You're like, listen, I know it's New York. Everybody's a performer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know, everybody talks about the grill during the summer. Brian won't shut up about it. And don't get me wrong. I love grilling, but honestly, the pans in my kitchen get just as much work as the grill. It's time to show them some love. I've become obsessed with hex-clad. And the reason is simple. They just make cooking easier.

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When you pick out kids, what do you look for in them? I definitely want to talk to the kid first. And again, especially like for a special or like this weekend, I did four shows and I talked to every kid. But usually if you were the kid, I go, hey, I want to give a chance. a chance to win some money, I promise you, you're going to win some money. Oh, I love it. Can you do a few minutes without anything? And then I go, I go, this is a few make it. This is, this is, he's the guy. He's the guy. He's

throwing in his lines. He's the guy he's the guy he don't want up there. But then I'll go, look, I'm going to bring you up there and we're going to have a lot of fun. Everybody's going to love you when this is over and you will win the money, but I'm going to make fun of you. I'm going to call you dumb and stupid. Can you handle that? Don't cry. And sometimes, I get that. Sometimes I go, then I don't want that kid.

Yeah, yeah. And sometimes it's just the perfect age. And the thing is, when you see me do it and how rough I am to the kid or to the lady or to anything is you just get a feeling, oh, I can take her as far as I want to go. I can take him. I had one this weekend. I could have slapped him, and he loved it. Yeah. He was at that kid.

Yeah. Yeah. So I really, I'm pretty good to have been doing it so long. I got them and I know how far I can take this person and not. And then if I bail, you know, if they're not, if I see them getting timid and wide-eyed, I don't. But also, I do so many things people don't know. When I got the little kid and, you know, and I'm going, you know, I'm way smarter than you and stuff. I know how your pee brain works. I'm touching them and we're probably getting trouble for. But I'm letting them know, hey, I'm joking. Yeah. And without telling everybody, just a soft touch, a start smile, pat on the back. Yeah, yeah. And just say that. I think by doing that, the kid can relax and go, okay, we're just.

Yeah, because I want them to think when they're helping me, even the lady that they're part of the show. I'm in show business for a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I'd say when it leaves, I get so many people. I had a little girl this weekend that honestly came up to, as you said, this is the best moment of my entire life. Wow. And I wore her out.

Yeah. It was great. And you go, I hope it's, you know, I hope it gets better. I hope it gets better. I don't know what's going on at home, but. Yes, I have no idea. But I think it gave her a little taste of being in front of people. Yeah, sure.

And she was able to make people laugh. Yeah. Yeah, her name was Julia, Julia, with an A. And I call it Julie. And she said, no, with an A. And I go, you'll never get married. You can't, you don't have a chance. If you're going to crawl me out on an A or an E in front of all these people,

you're that. lady. You'll never make it as a wife. And she was just, it was great. She's six. Well, this is when I needed a teenager. Now's the time of the talk. She was 14. Yeah. So it was a good age. Yeah. Yeah. That's great, man. Now when you do the straight jacket, do you look for a large man? Yes. Because in the middle of the straitjacket, I'm literally without warning him, just going to fall all my weight into him. Because I think it's a great moment that to be him. Yeah. Perfect.

That's the I would have to think about. Yeah. I'm going, I'm not going to, because you catch them off guard. You want them to catch you. My balance is not great. I would, I would probably hold it. Yeah. Yeah.

You just go, oh, sorry about that. Yeah. Because I am in a jacket. If you miss me, I'm on. Jeez, what's going on? I'm on the ground. And, you know, but I also do that from the stage. I jump on a guy.

Like, at the end, I crawl out over the stage and get somebody. Yeah. But I usually get a big guy up, like, I'm not paying. And I just literally jump in his arms without telling him. And we got it. There's a Nathan's guy has someone tape. A bunch of people going, you can hear him go, oh. Oh, my mic is going, wow, you're a lot bigger than I thought you are.

So I have been kind of thinking about it and telling them I'm going to do it. I say, hey, you're going to help me off stage. So at least they can prepare themselves because literally I just call them up there and jump in their arms. Oh, yeah. Do you think that, because I think that because you're Nate's dad, I think, and I don't think it's true now because now people know your show, but I think people think that you're not going to be good, right? 1,000%.

Because they're like, ah, this is Nate's dad. Nate just put him on the show. And then we did Bridgestone, and I had to follow you. And I was unfortunate for me. Because I was like, wow, that was great. When I first worked with Nate, when he first started doing it, I would get a standing ovation almost everybody, just because I'm there. Yeah.

And I'm real. Yeah. They don't know that, oh, man, he really is. But they literally think all I'm going to do is go here, pull my finger. That's what they're expecting. Yeah. And then when they see that I could almost get two standing ovations in every show because the second one was, oh, my God, he was really good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then a lot of people will come up and say, Plus you do that thing where you pretend to cry at the end. You're emotional. Yeah, that always gets them on your side. But, you know, I think that he made me lose my thought on that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's what Brian does.

We get two standing ovations because they're like, oh, you're really good. Right. You're not helping it all. Well, I might as well bring it back around, let everybody know you're getting two standing ovations a show. I'm not going to try to help now. Yeah, you're like a lot of people get one, but I get two every time. No big deal. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I have no idea what I was going to say. But it was a good point there, Brian. It'll come back to you. I think sometimes tonight I wake up with Carol my wife. Hey, I know. I got it. Call me.

I think stand-up comedy is better live than it is on a special. They do a great job of capturing specials now to where it still give you that live feel. But do you think what you do, seeing that you do a lot of crowd interaction, do you think it's a good translation on video? No. No. Yeah. Way better live.

Yeah. Yeah. And I want a crowd. I love like corp. I love it when people know each other. Even when I'd rather have like a big group here, these guys. Because again, I'm so far from what Nate is. Yeah.

And because they never would make fun of someone like this. And like I would say this jacket is, I bet it was good when it fit you. But I'm just messing with it. I go to God. I never did. I don't know if you listen to a lot of the old podcast. Yeah. Brian and Aaron were made.

fun of all the tires yeah and i always felt bad my i have one on brian so he's doing it he's touching his arm like i'm going brian this is going to not hurt yeah but one of the first times i asked him to warm up for me uh and it's a joke i do on everybody or my friends and stuff so they come on and right before the show starts i go hey i mean you get ready we're about to go on and go yeah i'm ready then i go you're wearing that oh yeah yeah that shirt and i go this is these people paid a lot of money. And he felt so bad about that shirt. I could tell later when he was, I really felt like it bothered him. Yeah. And that, yeah, because you were serious. His wife told me, I thought him later, I could apologize. I was telling him, I say that joke to everybody. She goes, he will

never wear that shirt. He won't wear it. If it were me, I would have probably taken the stage and go, I'm sorry about this shirt. Yeah, he just talked about it. That's a bad choice. I apologize for my shirts anyway. I don't know what to wear. It's obvious. Yeah. You don't have to tell anybody that.

So you're writing a new hour now? Yeah. Again, and this is why I'm not saying people have been after me, but I've had chances in the past to be on shows and TV. My original guy I worked with always never. I don't know if you know a guy named Mason Jonathan, but he kind of did. He went on television and made a special, and they wore him out.

And he had to disappear for, because you're never going to get, in magic, everything's out. You'll never get that same hour back. You'll never have all these great stuff. And so I am doing, I have enough that I'm doing a new stuff, but there's some things I don't ever want to walk away from. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why I didn't really want to make this, this was a gift from Nathan, Abby, and Derek to do this.

this for me. And I agree to it. So they would have something to play at the casket. Yeah. Yeah. It can be on a loop. Yeah. And people can go up and go, well, you know what he really does? He did stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's my, I keep, the way this is, you're out of the picture. I don't know. You should, I should be where you are. It's just cropped. I know. I'm just thinking about your head this whole time. I know. I'm going with Bynes over there. I'm sorry, Brian. It's okay. I'm not used to it. I'm known you the longest. Yes. Do you have tricks that take years to crack almost or to figure out? Yeah.

The way that some jokes, you're like, you know, you're telling the joke, and then one day you just like, oh, I figured it out. Perfect. So I do a trick called I hate kids. Even the title. The title got me kicked off of Disney because they don't like for you to say I hate kids. Yeah. But anyway, it's a Disney cruise ship.

Come on over here, Brian. This would be, it helps so much. Maybe I should talk to the camera. Oh, there you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, but I have a trick, and it's that same one with the kids. I thought I hate kids. And I go, you can't win.

I'm going to beat you. I'm way smart. And I know how your little peabing works, and I'm making fun of this kid. And then, and just in the last year, I've had that trick selling the magicians and doing it. I've been doing it for, I did it since Opryland days, which is back in the 80s. And just in the last year and a half, I came up with, you're going to be the kid. I go, I'm way smarter than you. And I know how your P-Bring works.

What grade are you in? Fourth grade. Yeah. Well, I had two years in the fourth grade. That's way more fourth grade than you've ever had. You don't stand a chance. Now, if you think about that line, that kid is now going, well, that ain't smart. And all the kids, kind of, if there's kids in the audience, it kind of says, this guy's a dummy.

Right. And it's okay. Yeah. It kind of puts me on their level. Does that make sense? And you can feel the difference just from that line? That line was a game changer. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'd never have to worry. I've rarely ever, like I told you, I had to back off if I'm going too hard. Yeah. Never probably a problem anymore. Before that line, parents were calling you later, though, and my kids really struggled since being on the show. That is exactly right. I'm not sure.

Grades have fallen off out of nowhere. Did you hypnotize him in some weird way? Yeah, but I think. Definitely you get lines that just come or jokes like after all these years. Yeah. And that kind of changes the feel of the whole thing. Yeah. I really felt like you did.

That's great. Very cool. You're special. It's a little bit like a one-man show because you talk a little bit about your life and stuff. And I've always said that, you know, he's talked about publicly about running away from home when he was a kid. And I always say, your bad mom led to my comedy career because if you had to move to Nashville, I'd never met Nate. So, yeah, thank you to her for giving me a career. It's funny how life works and how one person can affect so many things.

Right. I'm just real quick. This is not my podcast. You're running the show today. No, it is not. I really was a special ed student. And I was left-handed in a Catholic school. They used to beat us for being left-handed.

And so I just, my mom was just. Did it work? What? Are you right-handed now? Yeah, everything, except on my magic is left-handed. Really? Every slight is, I do left-handed, but anything a nun can see, right-handed. So I just kind of do all that.

That's crazy. So I had a teacher. I talked, when I talked to kids sometime, I had a teacher. Literally, I came in PE class, and they wanted me to throw a ball, and I remember, to him, he was in the other side. It was the first man teacher I ever had. And I remember thinking my first man. brain, if I told him with my left hand, he's going to hit me. Yeah.

I bet he hits harder than a nun. And so I threw it with the wrong hand. And in front of everybody, he goes, man, you still like a girl. It's the whole class. I mean, I was like crushed. Yeah. So I thought if I can't play sports. I didn't think it was okay.

I was a kid to be left hand. I thought you don't know how to use your right hand. Right, right. But then because I was in special ed classes, they also came and made us do stuff. And the drama teacher, my junior year in high school, came in and said, we're having a play, we need some hippies. My hair was a little bit longer than yours, about like yours. Wow. And they said, you just got to be a hippie.

And in the play, they need somebody to dance around in their underwear. And we were just background. Yeah. And say this line. And this teacher, Sherry Branstad, her, I'm still looking for her. She said, hey, you're funny. Would you dance in your underwear in front of it? And I go, you bet I will.

And, but it looked out life-changing, you know, one body. I bet Sherry's in prison now. Leitha mental hospital. You know, but. Sherry went away soon after. But yeah. A lot of people looking for Jerry. Yeah, yeah, weren't they really?

But she believed in you and that started your... I have no idea why she even said it. Yeah. But then... She said you were funny. Yeah. You're funny. You got a good build.

Yeah. Yeah. You can be in Yon. Yeah. When I come over to my place. And it's him. It's in my yearbook. It's the only time I ever made their yearbook other than the one they have to put in it.

Yeah. It's me and my underwear. Yeah. But I was stuttering at the time with the speech of her. So I wouldn't say the line. But she worked it out where another kid said it. And so I just had to act stupid. So I really did my senior year become the funny guy.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I always knew I wanted to do that. And they just had to find a venue and magic is where I ended up at. But that was in Nashville, right? That was in Louisville. The play was. Okay.

And I would run away. That's why I always said that my mom got in trouble and ran away to Louisville and to honor her as a teenager. I got in trouble and ran away back here. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you did.

And then there was a Brian. Yeah. But not to go over your whole career, but then you came here and met your cousin Ronnie and. Yeah. He's too right. He invited me to come stay with him. Yeah. And I was kind of in and.

out. I'd live on the streets for a couple of a week or sometimes. I had places I could go hide. Like literally on the streets. Yes. What would you hide? In cars and behind some people's sheds and stuff like that. I had a friend that I could stay at house some, but his parents would get mad. So he had a shed and garage. I'd go stay out there. I'd go eat at Pizza Hut and turkey fried chicken because he didn't bust your own tables back then. You just left it there. Oh, yeah. And so we were going there and watch people eat and say, like, I didn't touch that chicken. or anything like that. And we'd literally go eat, pick up. Yeah. You get that.

Yeah. No, I've been there too. But that's how I did all that stuff. You've got a joke about doing that. Yeah, yeah. But Aaron ate the fries. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. I never forget that story. That's true.

I thought you were just being mean for the second. Yeah, so did I. I didn't get the reference right away. That's okay. Yeah, yeah. You and Dessie have a lot and cut the long hair. Yeah. Living place to place.

I danced in my underwear back then, too. Yeah. We were not asking for it. Yeah. You weren't even in the play. Well, you and Nate, another thing you all have in common, you both enjoy pranks. Oh, man. I guess he got it from you.

Yes. Right. So Dusty, we're not big prank guys, but Dusty said, he's already shared on this podcast, he wants to prank the Grinnell Opry by going out as a singer and pretending, not telling him he's a comedian, just make them think he's a scene. We're pranking the audience, not the opera. I want the opera to introduce me as a singer. and then I go out and sing a song.

I love that idea. And then just go, I'm just kidding. Yeah. And see how long before they go, I don't think this guy is a singer. Yeah. And then pretty quickly. When I transition and say, hey, I'm a comic, how long before they go, oh, what's he really do? That's right.

Go back to singing. Well, in my straitjacket's in my special. Yes. But in the straitjacket, I was trying to be Kaufman. I had a gag where I can't, I couldn't get my, I had like an evil-kineval jacket on, and I'm going to get in a straight jacket, and it would get stuck. I couldn't get out of the regular jacket. And that's all the joke I had.

And then I put the jacket on, and I go, like, would you, I go, I wonder how long these people will watch if I don't get out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's about four and a half minutes. I'll tell you that. Yeah. Then they go, they've had enough of them. Oh, yeah.

But I used to fall down on the stage and try to fight and then roll off. And I'd roll back on in between an act or something. And then I'd be out in the parking lot telling people to come back. I'll be out by tomorrow. But I had no plan to ever get out. And then eventually that got changed because some junk came up and started helping me. And we got in the fight kind of on stage and it becomes what it is today. But I love that idea of doing that.

And I can help you with this. When I had a guy who, to make myself learn to do this, I had a guy make me this and some teeth. Because it changes your whole look. It sure does. You put a ball hat on. Can I see? Oh my gosh.

With a hat. And I would go. If you're listening, just keep listening. Do not watch. I went in deliberate pizzas. I would take somebody's pizza and I don't know none of these people. I just went up because I need to learn to get the guts up to be fun. So I go up somebody's house and go,

The teeth weren't really funny to me right away, but when you were telling me, you delivered these. You go, $14, and they go, I didn't order a pizza. Go, don't get me stuck with this. It comes out of my pay. I had a guy get a gun and chased me off the porch. My neighbor.

And this is how I got back with my family, my sister was a haircut. So I put these on and went down and asked for a haircut. cut. And I mean, they just thought they were, they were, when as I come in, they were going, oh, God, I closed the door. And, but we just became, but this gave me the courage. Right. I mean, I had to make myself learned to get over, getting in front of people. And these things, just had some dinners made them. It's like a mask, right? It's the same thing. Yeah.

But it's great. And so I think you just come out and just say, just got to do and play, work on a guitar. Yeah. You can break your strings. That would be. Yeah. those teeth, though. Yeah, I just get used to the teeth. It really, go for it, you know, be like, it's an honor to be here standing on the circle. Really get into it. Tear up a little.

Yeah. Be off the circle a little bit. Where's that circle? But I think the first time you hit all the strings, boy. Yeah. Drop, yeah, drop my pick. Uh-huh. Yeah.

I think you got something. Yeah. I think I'm into this idea now. I think we can write a great thing. Yeah. And, you know, I worked with a comic one time. Marty Polio, I think is his name? Maybe Polo, Marty.

That's a big difference, Polo and Polio. Yeah. But he was kind of a magician that would do, like, bad. Terrible man. Yeah. And I liked it because the way he almost did it was like, he was like, you know, you almost thought, this guy's kind of not doing well. Right.

But he kept in it very confident. Right. I don't know. I like that. Well, that's what you're brilliant at. You, the whole time, you play that the joke is messed. The trick is messing up. And then you do it then.

I got on the special in the beginning, they told me, because in my real act, my first three things, none of it works. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then I found, but at the end, everything worked. And it was working the whole time. You just didn't know it. Oh, yeah. So that's what makes it a great show.

But they were saying for TV, people will turn you off. Oh, yeah. They're never going to make it to the end because they're going to go, this guy is terrible. I don't. I mean, I guess I, I got a little bit of a sick sense of humor, but if a guy, if I were watching TV and a guy, none of his tricks are working, I'd be like, you're watching the best TV I ever see. You want a guy earnestly failing up there.

Until the special, I only knew you from the Manning cast. And so, yeah, so I'm like, I got to watch more of this guy. It was terrible. The worst day of my life. I didn't see it. Everybody seemed upset. We did research. We did everything.

I talked to the people. I said, I'm going to do a trick. It's not going to work. But then immediately I'll blow it and it's going to work. We got it. We got it a hundred times. As soon as it went, this is it. They won't say no.

Manny goes, that's a shame. All right, let's go on to the next thing. Just block me off. Do you know what the Manny cast is? It's where you can watch, instead of watching Monday Night Football, you can watch a Zoom call with Eli Manning, Peyton Manning, and usually a guest. And Nate was on with Stephen as a guest. And they were doing a trick.

And there's about a 14-second delay between your side and the life. So it was just like a recipe for a disaster. Yeah, it was terrible. They did call and apologize. They did? Yeah. Peyton, himself? Oh, that's pretty nice.

All right, that changes my whole. I didn't know that part of it. It's very nice to publicly humiliate you and then privately apart. Very much. Well, that disappoints me. I've always been a big Peyton fan. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack, hydration and coffee sponsor. And other people are trying, but we won't let them.

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including the Ultimate Sampler Pack plus free shipping to get your 20% off text public to 64,000. Text public to 64,000. One more time, that's public to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply C terms for details. I remember one time on a show, Nate had a glass of water already out there, and you brought my finger. Yeah, took your finger at it. And then he didn't think that was that funny. I did, though.

I thought it was great. And then when he would take a drink, the audience was kind of in on the joke. And he didn't know what was going on. Everybody would laugh when he would drink it. And then he couldn't figure it out. I did it a couple times for somebody told him. See, I really like that when it's happened into somebody else. I would be furious if that was.

It was me. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sticking the mud. I got a lot of planks that are that way. The Furious. Do you remember, I know this, the salted peanut plank? No. Have you never seen peanut?

I've had some peanuts. Yeah. You never seen this? I've never seen this. I've never seen this trick, no. I've had the exact hand when I was a kid. Show, show him what it is. Sure.

There were those originals in it. That's my, it's the original trick, Dusty. It's an old, old trick. There's snakes in here. Yeah. swing snakes. So what I did is I put real peanuts in it. And what you want is you want that guy to think he knows.

Yeah. Because he'll go and then he throws it on the guy next to him and peanuts go flying. You go, what a jerk. You know how much peanuts are these days? So you just put real peanuts in. This is any old... You have to take the snakes out. But I think that's my kind of common.

Yeah. When someone thinks they got you. I like that, yeah. Well, I don't think that's funny at all. Yeah. You've got to pick up all these peanuts. Yeah, Brian will do later. We're making some peanut butter right now with the computer chair wheels.

I love stuff like that. What's the best prankier play, you think? Oh, we. I got so many good ones. I've got a friend, I think, that I don't know if it's mind me telling me, but he had one of his best friends growing up. He was getting Alzheimer's, and you know when you're getting sick, I just think they had the guts to do this is brilliant.

I did not do this one. I'll tell you what I did. But he had a, his wife wanted to go away party. Like, you know, it's kind of like, we're not going to see Aaron for, you know. So let's all get together while Aaron's still halfway. Have you ever heard of that? People do that. So he invites 50 people.

25 of them knows this guy really well. 25 have never met him ever. And he gives him one thing about him. So half the people there, he doesn't know. But they know one thing about him. I remember Collie went to that game. And so now he thinks that it's gone. I've already, it's over.

I didn't even make it through the party. Everybody used to meet me and he goes, I know nobody. It started sweating, had like a panic attack. I love that. That he had the gut to do that. Wow, that's the worst prank I've ever heard. It's the worst. He said what is.

Oh, that's awesome. The best, what I did is I stayed in a bed and breakfast. Did they clear it up? Oh, eventually. Yeah, okay. Then he forgets about it. And now it doesn't know. Yeah.

But I stay in a bread and bread for guys on show. There's a married couple, me, and another married couple. And, but two of them are acts together, and just me and this other guy. So all comics. So one couple brings me in the morning. We've been staying with this lady for several times, several days. And I just remember one time I asked her for, I don't drink coffee. I said hot tea.

you have sweet and low and she goes no she got she has real sugar and that's it but she makes something every day and um coffee cake over was the thing so he goes hey i got a card that we're going to leave for the lady and uh and we got her an apron and you owe me 10 bucks and then he goes go get them to sign it and bring it back so i go over to i want to do that so i get there knock on the door and they opened they open the doors they go hey hey we got the lady a card and and but they didn't have the 10 bucks or anything so I just put mine behind my back and I went oh okay and they go go get them to sign it so I said oh okay so I took their card and then I on the one that I owed the money I paid his $10 gave it but did not sign their name to it let him sign it I took hers his and I wrote

I go, the coffee cake was dry. For the love of God, can you get some sweet and low? I go, so I just let this lady have it. And they've already signed it. So I just, then I took a picture of it and waited for him to get on the plane. And then I sent it to him. His wife, they had just got married, and she does not understand comedy. Yeah.

So this has been five years ago, she still hates my guts. But so I sent it to her. her. And see, I remember him writing me and saying, how dare you? How can you do that to her? That poor nice lady. And I go, I didn't do it. My name's not at the bottom of the card. You did it. I gave her a card in the neighborhood and she loves me. But it was just a situational thing that I was able to get away with, you know, by doing switch and stuff. But also I know you might want to talk about the doorknobs. Yeah, I was about to bring it up. Yeah, that was one of my favorites. My son Derek, I go over the house, and he's painting all the doors in his house.

And on the kitchen table is all the doorknobs. So I take one. I thought that'll be funny. They think they lost their door knobs. But then some reason, I ended up having to go to Ace Hardware to get something. And these are old doorknobs, but Ace Hardware sells old doorknobs. So when I got there, I just saw her, went, this is the exact doorknop that he has. So I realized this is way better.

Instead of taking one, I'll go back and add one. So I went back on his table and I just added the extra one. And I didn't hear anything about it. They, he told me they almost divorced. They were fighting over this doorknob and doing it. He was having kids go line up in front of doors. They were hauling it out. They numbered all the doors in the house trying to find out where this extra door knob goes.

I thought that was, oh, golly, that's so great. Did you finally just have to tell him? No, I mean, I told them because I forgot about it. I told them, like, months later, and they just died. They was going, we got the biggest fights ever over that. So I kind of forgot about it. They laughed on the phone, and then now that wife hates you to. But I love anything like that.

Abby gave me some examples. Unscruing light bulbs in someone's house. I do that a lot. I like to do that. When I go, if I'm staying with another comic, and we on the road, I go into the room. I like to reverse the batteries in the, the remote so it don't work. And I unscrew the light.

Just ruining people's months. I do that. And I do that if I got time. If I go to the bathroom, I'll unscrew your light up high. If I can get up there and get it, something they think they'll switch us out. I'll change your email password. My favorite thing to do, I can't go to anybody.

I like to switch pictures in somebody's house. Or they have a knick-knack here. I'll just switch them and stuff. But I switched the last time I did it, I switched two really expensive pictures. and this guy, I'm talking to him, he goes, it's really funny, man. The other day, they fell off the wall and broke.

So I must not have hung him up. Now, he would be finding this out like that. But I kind of went, okay, no more of really expensive stuff. I might have switched. But I like to just keep the paint. All my light bulbs are very expensive. This is a good one. I bought, like, 10 rubber duts, a little yellow ones.

I think they had was 12 in a box. Okay. But I only took seven, and I numbered them, one, two, three, seven, eight, ten, twelve. So I skipped the numbers. And I went and hit them in their house. So when they find number 12, they go, all right, we know there's 12. But there's really only seven. So they look for years for these ducks.

And they're never, they're not there. They're not going to ever find them. They go, we got seven. We don't know where these other ones are. I go, oh, you'll never find those. Wow, you're losing viewers to this special. because no, I'm finding out what you've been doing to them. Friends.

Yeah. Wow, we like him. Bed and Breakfast light switch remote. Oh, gosh. We can't tell that one? No, I can. I was at a golf camp thing with Tennessee High School. And it was, again, a bed and breakfast.

So we had three rooms over here. And the boss and Ron Bargettsey, in the other room. And I just happened to find out, by accident, I turned on the light switch and the fan, and it turned theirs on, too. So we stay up all night. You can see under the door when it come on,

we turn it on. They'd get up and turn it off, and we turn it. And we make the fan go real fast and slow. So we, I mean, literally, to one in the morning, we're turning the lights on and switch and everything. So the next day, we go down to breakfast, and the lady serving us the dinner, and I'm dying for them to go, oh, night, you won't believe what's happening.

But they figured it out that it was me, so they're not going to give me anything. They're going, we're not telling him. Whatever you do, don't act like nothing happened. How do they know it was you? Well, of course he did. This is what he does. They figured it out because they know it every time I'd wait just long enough to get back in bed, and then it'd come back on again.

But so we get down in the lady serving us dinner, and she goes, I was up all night, you won't believe it, but my stove, my flat lamps and everything kept going on and off. So apparently it worked hers down in her room, too. So she was up doing it all night long. She goes, I got to get an electrician in here, and we about died. Did you, is your whole family like that? Yes, Abigail, we all are. We all kind of do.

Abigail once sewed Carol's pajamas, Carol were below the knee about that far. Just sewed them together. And so I'm sitting in at Carol's and she's getting dressed. Soed them closed or the pants? Okay. Just the pants leg right there. So you can't go past the knee. So but Carol puts a leg in there and hits it.

And all of a sudden she's hopping. And I'm talking and she's talking to me. And she goes, wham right into the wall. It was fantastic. I never been more proud as a father. Never in my life. That's the most awesome thing now. But also on Thanksgiving, we are a ketchup family.

And you can ruin Thanksgiving with no ketchup. Right. But so brand new bottle of ketchup. What gets ketchup on Thanksgiving? Yeah. I don't put it on my dressing, but I like the turkey in it sometimes. I can always put it. Just like the pilgrims.

We can find anything with ketchup. But I had a brand new bottle, and Abigail, we had in science class, or something. So she puts a tablespoon of bacon soda in it, and you close it back up. And so I'm putting it on my, when you turn that down and you start it, it don't stop. It's a volcano. It just comes out. You turn it this way. It shoots all your ketchup out and stuff. That was not a good plank. Oh, because there's vinegar in the ketchup? Yeah, I guess. Wow.

I don't know. I have no idea the history or the science behind it, but it worked. And we, I was really ticked off. It wasn't Thanksgiving. You can't just go out and buy another bottle of ketchup and Thanksgiving. You know, it was just the one bottle. It was a whole bottle. It bought the whole, it was a brand new bottle of ketchup. Gallon jug. Wasted.

It was like $4. But Abigail's done a lot. But did you grow up around it? Do your siblings? No, well, me and my sister, when she was, how am I doing all the time? I was watching a TV show once a commercial about Nair. Yeah. And so, so I have a sister that falls asleep, Cindy.

And she can't wake her up. Mare is hair removal stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when she goes to sleep, she's out. And so when growing up, I used to move her. And every night, I'd go in there about one in the morning. If I get up and pee, I'd go get her and move her in a different room, drag her in there. So she, for half her life, she thinks she's a bad sleepwalker.

Yeah. But it was always me putting her in different rooms. Yeah. And I'd put her outside a couple times, but not a lot. But I would move her. I'm starting to see how you eventually ran away from home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was easy. The door was left open.

So I saw this mare, so I go and get some nears. And day before high school, I mean, a brand new high school for her, she's asleep, I put it in her eyebrows. I thought this would be funny. And so she gets up and she washes her face, they fall off. And she thought she, I mean, she thought she had cancer. Yeah. So my mother, I mean, drew eyebrows on her with a pencil.

Wow. So I say her first day, high school was as a prostitute because I thought it was comedy. Yeah. My father took the tube. My hair was not quite your length yet, but it was long. The monkeys, so I looked like the, and he squeezed the whole tube in my hair and rubbed it in. So all my hair fell out. Big hunts, I had to wear a toboggan for a year and a half or something.

But that's when I said, you'll never touch my hair again, and I didn't cut my hair from ninth grade on until I ran away. when Ronnie Buggles, you maybe cut my hair. But it was all because of that nearing your hair. Yeah. You know, I think I'd rather have my eyebrows than the rest of my hair. I learned it wasn't as funny as I thought it was. How long did it take for our eyebrows to grow up? I don't remember.

I think she got made more money with the pencils. Yeah. No, I don't know. She kept shaving it. I'm taking these, keeping these things off and stuff. But it wasn't as funny as I, you know. You know, who thinks about that when you're a kid? It's pretty funny immediately, but it just keeps, you know, like they now have to live with no eyebrows.

Yes. And I've had my dad hit me in the mouth with a fist a couple times. Yeah. But one time was my, all of them was probably my fault, but I put a big pan of water on the door. And I ran out the back and I was going to run my sisters in them in there and it was going to hit it. Now, what I didn't think is a big metal cast iron pan full of water could kill you. Mm-hmm. You know, I mean, if it had to hit her in the head, I really could.

I don't think that. I'm not that smart on my prank. I just thought, it'll be funny if the cardio hitter. And when I came in, my dad was home, came home. So I had to yell at him. I go, ho, ho. And he opened the door and that cast iron thing, hitting right in the shoulder right here in the neck.

And he just walked right over and knocked me out. And I thought, I'd be looked back. That makes sense. Yeah. It made total sense. But I quit doing that trick. Yeah. You and Dusty have so much in common because he shared stories about he deserved to get punched a time or two.

Yeah, I wasn't doing pranks, but I was drinking and ruining people's lives. Yeah, yeah. There's just no fun involved. Fun for me. There wasn't a laugh from anybody else. Aaron, did you do pranks? Yeah, I was just thinking none of the stuff I ever did was this clever. I remember at one time, I was maybe 19.

I thought it'd be funny if I'd, I don't even know if this constitutes a prank, but I thought it'd be funny if I'd just started paying with ones everywhere. So I went to You went to a strip club And it worked out great No I mean in like everyday life I went to I think I had a thousand dollars

My name Because I'd worked that summer I got $1,000 And ones And I owed a friend $350 and I paid him back in ones And he was furious I don't know

I thought I thought it'd be funny And it was funny Maybe the first time I did it I like it Yeah yeah exactly That's true Yeah. When I worked at Western Citizen, I would have a lot of ones. But large quantities of ones is funny the first time, where they go, it's $350 and you go, all right.

Yeah. Pull out a huge bank roll. Yeah, that's the kind of stuff, though. I like it. I like that. Nothing crazy. I would, pennies would have been better. But, you know, I've paid people with rolls of coins before. Like, not a tremendous amount of money. Ten bucks. Ten bucks. There's a roll of quarters.

Because you needed to. Yeah. It wasn't a big... It wasn't a prank. This is what I got. I'm paying you this with the money I got out on my couch. Yeah, exactly. You know, Elon Musk just became the first trillionaire.

Yeah. And Aaron, do you remember, I just looked this up, one of our very first episodes, we talked about money. And we speculated that Jeff Bezos would be the first trillionaire. Yeah. And then Nate asked the question, like, if you went to the bank and asked for it in ones, Would that be all the ones? Yeah, yeah.

It's a pretty funny, funny thing to think about. I mean, I don't know how many ones there are out there. Yeah, yeah, there aren't a trillion one trillion ones. And do you remember sharing how they were all stacked up, how long that would be? I don't remember the distance, but it's an insane amount. Yeah, I forget. It was like, if it was a million ones, it was a little bit longer than a football field. Right.

If it was a billion ones, I think it was 68 miles. Yeah. And a trillion was like 240,000 miles. Yeah. That's an... It's insane. Now we're closer to Jeff Bezos than Jeff Bezos as to Elon Musk. I saw that.

No way. And wealth, yeah. So... Aaron does very well. So things are looking good. When he says wait, he means he and Lucy. We're killing it out. Aaron's number three of the list now.

Well, I will say for Aaron shows that he's a good young man. We were playing a prank on Nick Novicki one time. it was when the when COVID was going on we were doing the drive-in shows and we were all just walking around after the show one of these outdoor theaters and Nick was on his bicycle and Nate said Nick I bet you couldn't ride your bicycle all the way down to some I can't remember undisclosed the end of the parking lot in the parking lot and back and Nick's like what I'll show you right now he takes off and Nate says everybody hide and we all go it's night time it's night time everybody left the boss Yeah, we all go hide behind some objects so we can kind of watch. And I'm hiding with Aaron. And Aaron says, I don't feel right. I don't really know him that well. Yeah. And I just remember that's a good, that's a good, you know, he's a good young man that doesn't want to. Yeah, well, Nate and Nick have known each other forever and their friends. And to me, I'm just like, why? This is a little person who's basically blind and we're hiding from him in the dark. And I barely know this guy. And then I'm watching him from a bush. He like gets on the bus and you can see him kind of look around. He's like, I guess everybody left. And he comes off the bus and then he gets his bike and rides off again into the darkness. I was like, somebody tell him, we're right here. It was just hard for me to watch.

Nate's dying laughing the whole time. And everybody else says that it was close with him, you know. I was with Nick at the win when we were with Nate. A lot of times they'll go play golf and I'd take Nick. And so we were getting out of the pool thing. And he walks away and he throws his towel in the garbage can. thought that's where you put the towel. And I thought about telling him, but instead I went here and gave you my towel,

he threw it in the trash. I'm hoping somebody's got to see this. But it was just a garbage can. So all weekend, he was putting his towels in that trash can. I feel like you, on the cruise, I feel like you and Nick became... Now nobody can get a towel. Nobody can get an extra towel because they're like, I don't know, who would get thrown away.

Right here ruining everything for everybody. You and Nick became this comedy doing. duo and... Well, yeah, every time I work with Nick, and that's part of the reason, we try to do something together. Nick really likes it, and he'll be the part of... And Nick is a great actor and stuff, so he can... We can do the same trick over and over, and he can act dumb and stupid every time. Like he never seen it before, like the joke's on him, and that's what we do.

But, of course, it was on him last show and the show and tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he plays that part really well. Nick is a great actor. the cruise, we did come up with a gag, a trick full of the whole audience. I mean, I think I know what it is because I think we kind of revealed it on our finale. There was another little person on the cruise. Did you have another show after that podcast?

Yes, we did. Yeah. Did it mess up? Pretty much. A lot of people went. There we go. It wasn't as big as a surprise. Yeah, yeah.

Everybody thought it was. But I bet they were excited to see it. Yeah. It was. So much fun. That was our prank on your trick. Yeah. Very good.

We didn't know it. Do you guys enjoy shows like punked or impractical jokers and stuff like that? I was just thinking about this. I actually liked impractical jokers more than other shows like that because it feels like they are always the butt of the joke. They're embarrassing themselves and they're never like humiliating somebody who doesn't even know what's going on. And that's what I like about it.

And that's part of why like the Nick thing. made me uncomfortable before I really knew them. Where I go, yeah, we're just kind of, if it's your body or if you're the butt of the joke, then I really like it. But it just makes me uncomfortable. I don't like to make strangers go up and, you know, put a bucket on somebody. Yeah. I don't want, I don't, and magicians are terrible.

Like, they will take your scissors up. You're doing a rope trick and now your scissors. I don't think none of that's funny. If it's show business and I'm there and you're trying to make me look bad in front of an audience. Yeah. But if we're all friends, great, take the scissors up. but not for a TV show or anything. The pride, like, just speaking of the bucket on the head,

I see this on the internet sometimes, and I like it where someone will be on an aisle and they'll put a bucket over someone's head and then put a bucket over their own head, and then they kind of pull it off together, like, what happened? I like it. Yeah. I like it when, like, if I put it on Brian's head

and then the hand by him, the bucket, and I leave. Oh, yeah. This guy's going. No, no. What about, like, I've seen videos of John's, Justin Wilman where he'll trick people into thinking they're invisible. That's an old trick. And we did that for years.

Yeah. And as a kid, it's one of my favorite kid tricks you can do ever. Yeah. You've seen those videos. But he did it with adults. Yeah. And it really, I mean, but it worked bad for this one guy.

But I mean, but you see us three here. I don't know the trick. I kind of want to know what. You're going to love it. But you do it with like a six, seven-year-old kid. You want a kid kind of gullible enough. not too old, but it also helps to have an older kid with him. So, you know, you can do it with a five.

Five or six is probably the best, but you have an eight or nine-year-old boy or girl. And you say, I got this magic blanket or it can be a big towel or something, and we're going to make Aaron disappear, and we're going to make dusty disappear. And it's great to do at Christmas times. You've got to be in on it except Aaron. Yeah, the crowd's in on it, too. So I go, all right, and I'm going to put the towels on you. you go one, two, three, and when I snap, pull it off, you guys will be invisible.

You'll see, you won't be able to see Dusty because he's invisible. Dusty won't be able to see you, but you can see you, and then, and nobody else will ever see either one of you. And then at the end, I'll call you back, get back underneath that. I'll snap my fingers and you'll come back up here. Because the only bad thing can happen is it really scares that kid. Yeah, yeah. And he panics.

And he can tell you what happened on Justin Wilman's show. But, so anyway, I put, cover you up. The first thing I do is I cover you up, and while I'm covering him up, I'm going to tap you, you're going to go hide in a closet. So you're gone in a closet or in the other room. And he's standing there. Then I go, one, two, three, I lift his off. So he's there.

He's looking at you. It's coming off of you. You're not there. So he sees you gone. So the first part is working. You're invisible. And I always tell you. Tell them you can't touch anybody because if you get scared, touch somebody, you'll be visible because you don't want them to hurt.

Go pushing somebody or they give it away. So you say, don't touch anybody or anything. And the whole audience is, oh, my God, I can't believe he's there. I can't do that. And you can say, pick up that bottle and they go, it's floating. But he's believing it because he's gone. Yeah. Right.

And then so you can take it. Don't go too far, too long, whatever you can. Then you bring him back. I cover him up first. You come back in the room. And then I go, one, two, three. I lift his off first, and he's looking over there. When I lift your towel off, you're there now.

And he sees you. So they really think for a little minute they were invisible. And he did it with this guy. And he started literally going around stealing stuff out of people's purse. He thought he was invisible. So he'd go over there and go like, wow. He thought, wow, if I'm invisible, I'm going to take advantage of it. Wow.

Amazing. I open for Justin Moorman. Right away. He's right away. And I, as the opener, is my responsibility to take the guy outside under some farce. You know, I had to do something with him outside while the bit was explained to the audience. Oh, okay.

Yeah, so it wasn't that particular guy, but I've done that trick with him. So it was cool to see. Yeah, I think he's done it 100 times that one guy did that. So that's the one they aired. You never trust that guy again, though. No, never. The guy who started stealing things, if you're at an amusement park, that guy's kicked out. Right.

You go, we know what will happen if you give you an opportunity. You'll still think. You're out of here, buddy. I had a friend that had just, he went to the bathroom. He went here in his bathroom and put a camera up and he filmed the bathroom, the toilet and the sink in his house. And he filmed it for 20 minutes. Then he waits to somebody goes in there and it's on the TV. And when the person comes out, everybody's laughing and they look and they're looking at the bathroom. So they think that they were on TV while they were in there.

Well, y'all watching me in there? You go, oh, man, I'm sorry. We won't tell them. That is crazy, dude. That's pretty good. Wow. A really good one, if you have friends that read books. I don't know that I understand that.

He's got just stock video of his bathroom empty, right? From up in the corner. So a guest will go use the bathroom, come out. But then, so then on the TV is a video of the bathroom. So they think, were you watching me? That was crazy. That's hilarious. Yeah.

I don't know if you could convince me it was a prank. Yeah. You know, I don't believe any of you. I'm leaving here. Sorry, I took those cute tears. That would be going. It feels so good in my ear. Yeah.

Well, the special is called Out in a Minute. Out in the Minute. Is that right? Yep. And shot at the Franklin Theater. How long till it's out? Tomorrow. Yeah, Thursday, right?

It comes out tomorrow. Tomorrow Thursday. June 18th. My wife's birthday. And that's all she said she wanted. I thought today was Monday. Well, oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm playing that game. Oh, yeah. We're playing a prank on you. Yeah, a bit of a magic trick ourselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Playing me in that game.

Yeah. God, I had another question about it. No, I can't remember what it was. But anyway. Yeah. Well,

go watch it. It really is great. Yeah. It's, it's not, it's the best of everything. You really get a flavor or who I am. Oh,

you can really see the difference between me and Nate. Yeah. But I do think that you see the, of anything, Nate, Nate's a little more dry, humor, and which is more from my wife and Derek are more that way. Abigail's more like me, but I'm not that. But I think our timing, when you see the timing,

I think if anything, Nathan, learned that from me. Yeah, for sure. Let's have Abigail put in the teeth. Abigail would. She would wear the teeth in a heartbeat. I know what I was going to say. On the special, I'm like, I'll be able to see the tricks because I can rewind it. I can pause and you're doing slot-of-hand.

I couldn't even pausing it. I can't see it. You're that good. I don't know about that. Or do you use real magic? Yeah, promise you not that. I always say people think I do. And I think like maybe the do what I do,

you sacrifice cats or something. And I just don't like cats. Initially, that's what I thought. But I hate cats. You stepped on that joke. It dusty had to warm up to you, Stephen. He's not a fan of magic. I understand.

Do you ever think about going to a part of the world where they believe in magic? No, I've seen it. You know, but here's. I've seen you do tricks that some people and somebody will get you decide, hey, you know, we have a cousin that's been lost for five years. And you just want to go, I did a card. I found your card. I can't find your cousin.

Yeah. And then, or, you know, people. But then you're like, I can help out. Yeah. Let me look around. Contact me. So people want to believe that stuff. But it's all, none of it is.

And that's part of what I think I do. I want to make sure people understand. Look, I'm just messing with you. Yeah. We're just doing tricks. We're having fun. Yeah. Having a good time.

We've got 30 seconds left. Are angels demons? I'm sorry, aliens demons? Some of them are. You know, I don't think, I don't, if there really are aliens, it doesn't change the Bible to me. It's all, everything's the same. I agree, but they're, I also think they are. They are.

Let me ask you this from the last episode, if you could go back in time to witness any major historical event in a time machine, what would you go back and why? What would you go back and watch? Doesn't even have to be a major historical event. You can just be anything. Go anywhere you want to go. Golly. Would you use time travel for good? That's my way.

Because I would not. I like to think I would, but the moment I got the power, I would go. It would all be bad. I bet on sports. Yeah, I always wanted to be Barabas, I think. Not Brabis, not, but the guy that carried the cross.

I think I would go back there and go, I'll volunteer. I'll do it. You were to be the guy that they let out? No, I don't want to be Brabitts. I said that wrong. I want to be the guy. I want to be the mass murderer.

I want the guy on the street with the kids, the Washington Lamb guy. I would volunteer for that. They'd be like, this guy's a little weird. He's volunteered. That's what Brian said, too. See, I like to think all those things, too, that if I got time travel, I'd just be a good old guy. But I think I would go. I'd be like that guy that got, I'm invisible now.

You start going to people's first. You've always said that. Being invisible is the superpower you want. Well, we've talked about that, and Dusty's right. He says you'll just immediately start doing bad stuff. I would pick flying because if I could be invisible, I probably, you know, and not initially, but. But what if you could only fly at the speed that you can run? Yeah.

Still better. I mean, does it, do I get winded? Yeah, you get tired just like you do running. It'd be like being invisible, but only with no clothes on. That'd be horrible. It's a too cold. I'm not being invisible today. Yeah.

Like me, it's all about endurance. Like, I'm invisible until I get tired. And then I start being seen and I'm some awkward position version of B. That's awesome. Yeah, invisible. Yeah, the thought that you could only be invisible if you're naked is, that's, yeah, you're like, I got to go to Florida. I don't. I don't.

I got to go to Florida. That's right. I can only be invisible in South Florida. Yeah. Arizona, maybe. All right. Well, I'm sorry, you're running the show, but we can... Okay, all right, that's the end.

All right, well, you got some shows coming up, I'm sure. Thank you for coming by, Stephen. Appreciate it. You guys are great, and it's always a pleasure. And yeah, and go watch that. I mean, your show is so funny. And I've watched years and years, and I've watched all of you. It'd be nice for you to actually watch.

I will watch it. Well, I think so many people have either seen you with Nate or heard about you. It's exciting to have a full special they can go check out and see the whole act. So that's real excited. I legitimately don't watch a lot of stand-up comedy because I feel like when you watch people, you start to like take on things. And I don't want to start sound like even my own openers. If I like them and I watch their set, when I take the stage, I notice that maybe no one else notices it. But to me, my cadence will be a little bit like theirs for a second.

I agree. So if you watch Stevens, or you can start doing some truth. I might. I might be doing magic tricks. You're going to spit on people and talk a little. I can, I can take this water first. I already do a little bit of that. But, but yeah, this is great.

You are very funny. I mean, I didn't know what to think the first time I saw you. And I was like, I don't know, maybe the first time I saw you was at Bridgestone. And I was like, I just did a kid. That would I hate kids. I was excited to be following you because, like, Nate's dad, it's going to be easy. And then I was a two standing ovation. later.

You want to our dates? Yeah, I'll be in Austin, Texas at the Mothership this weekend. What about you? This weekend, Hattiesburg, Mississippi at the Sanger Theater. Come out and see him. Is Aaron's being? June 20th and Hattiesburg, Mississippi at the Singer Theater. Come out.

All right. You got any upcoming? I'm in Arizona in two weeks, but I think I don't know what it is. I'm not, y'all are great. I don't like to look ahead. I don't know. Oh, yeah. Okay.

I do. Abigail. My daughter does everything. I like to know what I'm doing in four days. Okay. You go out farther than that, I go. No, but I'm actually having rotator cup surgery on the 30th. That's fun. I'm done for a while. A prank with a cast iron pan? That's right. That's exactly what it was. But my first show back in August, and it's right when I get all that stuff off. Awesome. The easier-to-drive tour kicks back up this week. Great hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It can almost be called the I-65 tour. All these shows are pulling, I have to get on I-65. This Saturday, but the Palestinians- You do better on 40. You're just doing the 40 tour. You're just doing 65 and limit yourself. Go to the 40. I-40 tour.

I'm just helping you there, buddy. Well, that big Memphis, Knoxville. But all the way to L.A. I know. Well, I'm not that big yet. Oh. I'll start with the bypasses. The 440.

You have 4-65, yeah, yeah. Around the Indianapolis. Old Decree Boulevard. And, no, this Saturday, I'm in Gallatin, Tennessee at the Palace Theater. Then June 27th, I'm in Columbia, Tennessee at the Packard Playhouse. June 30th, I'm at the Opry. July 3rd. I got a show here at the lab at Zames.

I don't you act like you could a singer at Opry. Would you let me finish my pictures? No, but you could jump in front of him, and that's a good kid, and you can take that. And then he wouldn't know it. That would be a great prank on him when he does it. And they go with the guy last week fake singer. Yeah. They're calling it the worst show in grand old opera history.

I'm just trying to stay at the opera. And then July 9th, I'm at Chattanooga at the Comedy Catch. July 17th, 18th in Lexington, Kentucky at Comedy Off-Broadway. I got one more thing. This will be on June 24th. It's a new show we're starting here at the lab. Sort of, it's called Get Loose, sort of an open mic with some bucket pools, but also some booked people.

So it's got 9 o'clock show. So it's going to be great. All right. Throw that out there. Okay. All right. Well, anyway, yeah, I'm coming off Broadway. Okay, sorry.

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