The Nateland Podcast - #21 Fast Food

Episode Date: November 18, 2020

Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]

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What's up? Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargatze sitting here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. And we, you guys want to be called folks. Folks. Yeah, people have spoken. People have spoken. We did a poll on it. 77% folks. Folks. I think I'm going to say it different. I say folks and folks. You don't say the L?

I don't know. It just depends on what kind of day it is. I go, I get it with, what do I say? I would say a lot of things. Silver. Yeah, silver. Silver war. Silver war.

I say silver war. It was a different war. you didn't hear about that one silver war yeah it's over gold and silver that's why you hear about gold so much now because gold won should be hearing about silver what do you call that a window a window shade i got that window a window shade oh i gotta get my oil changed is how I say it. If I go outside of the south, I go, I would like to get my oil changed.

Because you're just trying not to say oil? Because I say oil. Yeah. And then that's not right. In the Silver War. Two civilian stations were battling out in the Silver War. war two civilian stations were battling out in a silver war that's what we're gonna we're do a live show we're do

civilian welcome to the civilian civilian station everybody uh yes folks that's what we called there were some other good names uh civilians civilian uh ol, nation, natives, we thought didn't make sense. That's just. I like that. Natives? Because I like, Dan Patrick has the Danettes.

Yeah. And I put that up in a poll against folks, and it got like beat 96 to four. And then someone messaged like, you can't say natives anymore. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

as a, just as a, I appreciate the wordplay, but it sounds a little. Probably. Yeah. I mean, we're just a dumb podcast and we're all just kind of fun and everybody's like, yeah, call us. We're all just being like having a good time. How about natives? Well, I didn't know that. I thought I could say I was a native

of Lebanon. That came right off. You're like, well, how did they call the native? What was the last episode about? I don't know. They did the black man community. You're like, when a podcast is this? Nadiates, which is pretty good and uh we say idiots that's our big word in our family uh people don't my wife when you get married into the family that calls each other idiots it's a lot it's a lot to go y'all say idiots a lot i go yeah we say it so much that it loses its steam she noticed it right it right away? I think so. Probably the first time I called her an idiot.

On your honeymoon? Well, you're an idiot. Nate Landorians. Nate Landorians. I like that one. That's pretty fun. Penguins. Penguins. And the Krispy Kreme team.

Well, one day we will be that Krispy Kreme team. Once we get the go-ahead from the Krispy Kreme master himself, the guy came out the gate, I could eat a million of these things, except right now, never. It's Thanksgiving coming up, Aaron. Yeah, dude. I mean, I'm down. I just got to be able to prepare for it.

Yeah, no, we're going to do it. We're going to do it. We got a picture. It'll be a special show. And we got a picture of how we're going to do it. I mean, you know, what were we saying we were going to do? I have my buddy, Doug, that did the music at the beginning of this, Doug Brown, in the band Safety Suit.

He, we went, he did, he said he could eat a million of them too i don't know a lot of that fumbled that but he said he could eat a lot of Krispy Kreme doughnut too he's a healthy dude he's in shape we went to uh it was a whole thing we went golfing and uh we go after we get done golfing i don't know we went to hooters yeah and uh you know everybody i think doug was like i don't know if i want to go and you're like i was like it's not it's not 1980s hooters man it's a little it's different it's different now you know it's just it's not the it's not what it is what is it it's just a restaurant now i feel like it's it's you know it's not the same thing. There's families in there now.

There's families in there. People go in there and eat. I mean, everybody's used to it. But we went in there with him and Shea Mooney from Dan and Shea, who's going to be on the podcast. We're going to get him on. So they started playing each other's musics on the jukebox. And so they played Dougoug first we played safety suit

and sung annie and they so they're playing it and she's like that's this guy that sings that song and the girl's like oh wow okay you know whatever and then so doug's like all right i mean he's like if you want to play this shea is currently one of the most famous musicians yeah they're huge but they don't get it's funny they don't get recognized when you're with them once they put it together they do but i don't you know with music now i don't know if you see musicians faces as much as you used to yeah and so you don't you could easily listen to them and be like oh i don't know if i've ever looked at him and so we go and he plays shea and the girl comes over she said well i know this song and uh because that's him and they're like i don't that's not him i don't believe you and then they go all right and then she went looked it up and then it became a problem oh really and

then everybody started finding out and then they were facetiming he was she did great facetimed with someone he's facetimed this one girl that worked there is like my friend we went to your concert together facetime she's the best and just the most positive nicest guy in the world and he's facetimed with her and then she was a fan of what's the guy's name they just got in trouble with snl uh oh uh morgan wallen morgan wallen so morgan wallen's a huge country singer that was supposed to be on snl then partied it up and got covet i guess and then they were like no you can't do it he didn't even get coat he didn't get covered but he was like making out with yeah girls yeah he was partying he's being a rock star

he's being a rock star that's yeah that's what his response should have just been i'm sorry for crushing it all right uh yeah he's a rock star he's like i'm 27 i'm living the dream yeah yeah he's like i don't know you know and which is all college kids right now during covid they're all just crazy and you're like let them be crazy you know just don't go home to your grandma uh but they uh so they go and so he faced, she's like, I'm a friend, I'm a big fan of Morgan Wallen. So then Shay FaceTimes him on his phone and then FaceTimes them together. So now she, the girl, I mean, I always thought it was so crazy.

That girl was just at home. Right. And her friend, and now she's FaceTiming with Shay, who's then FaceTiming with Morgan Wallen, who also had like other Coles. Another country singer was there with him. Oh, wow. So then they pop in and say hello. This girl has just got to be, what has happened?

Yeah. And it made it fun. That's cool. So, yeah, I don't even know how we got into Shea. We were talking about Hooters. Oh, yeah. How did we even get to Hooters? Which we will begin to kind of Hooters. But i don't even know how we got into all that yeah i don't know i can't remember talking about our weekend uh no i don't think we're talking about a weekend i just

got into it you know something the uh about natives natives no crispy cream hey yeah and then doug that was that was the angle all. Here we go. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Nate Land Podcast. This is Nate. We have to start over. This is the part where they go, they shouldn't be filming everything. We're going to read your comments. You can Instagram, email Nate Land, right? At natebargatzi.com.

That's right. And DM reviews. You guys have been reviewing and liking the podcast. It's been an enormous help for us. We got a ton of reviews, like 1,700, I think, our five-star ratings, which is extremely nice. And we can't thank you folks enough for that. So, all right, let's read the first comment.

Stephanie Guy, just wanted to send you guys a big thanks. My 20-year-old son. Will, my husband, and myself have been temporarily relocated to Nashville as Will is undergoing a stem cell transplant to treat Hodgkin's lymphoma. There have been times when he's not been able to get out and about due to low blood counts, so we have been occupying our time with your podcast. Even on his worst days, you guys are always able to get him laughing. I know he will be planning to catch some live shows once he's able. Thanks again from all of us, Joe, Stephanie, and Will Guy.

Thank you, guys. And, yeah, we will be praying for you guys, and we will see you at a live show. We're going to see you. Once you guys all get going, he comes out. He can't come out too soon. He's still got to get his blood count up he comes out immediately

then gets COVID and right back in we'll get him back out and we're when it's all normal and that's awesome thank you for telling us that yeah

Michael Birdwell Aaron's jacket was so distracting that I literally just called Tibbs Drive-In in Indianapolis to see if I could find his missing windbreaker unfortunately

they're closed for the season the best I could do now is send him a Unfortunately, they're closed for the season. The best I could do now is send him a new Colts jacket or find him a job in a pit crew where he would blend in seamlessly. The jacket wouldn't stand out as much if you were in a pit crew. That's true. You would be normal. If you wore that jacket in a pit crew,

he would write the same thing about that. Come on, go with it. I love that he called Tibbs for you. I mean, everybody, we're on the search, too. One day we need to post a picture of the windbreaker and just see if, you know. I saw you say something to Burt Kreischer about it on that podcast. Oh, I asked him. Yeah, yeah, I asked Burt.

Burt said no. Burt said no. It'll turn up, man. It'll turn up. Would you ask him if he spotted it? Yeah. Yeah, I think if he saw it. Ian Renfrew.

Maybe y'all's next episode should be on nose whistling. At first, I thought it was me and nearly got into a car accident looking at my nostrils in the mirror while driving to work. It was like you had a whistle on as a guest. I know. All right, whistle. My gut told me it must be Beaker's face hole making this awful sound

this theory was confirmed when I heard Nate Aaron and the whistle simultaneously simultaneously unbelievable love you guys but you won't be getting Spotify money anytime soon with things like this going on I agree I think Beaker face is the one holding us back

look how far you're away from it now we just talked about this i want to apologize for that this was a problem closer so you don't have to so you it's just doesn't sound like you and the whistle is apologizing together i don't think like the whistle is introduced it sounds like the whistle introduces you like that's how it starts and you're like uh the whistle is you. Like that's how it starts. And you're like, the whistle's just like, and here's Brian Bates. Hey, everybody. Welcome to. I don't think that's the issue.

But I mean, it was a problem early on. And then I changed nothing. And then it went away. And then I changed nothing again. And then last week it came back. So I don't know what to say. I think it's talk close to the mic or how it's maybe angle it different. Hmm.

Okay. But why would you not try it right now? What do you mean do right now? I think talk closer to it. Even closer. Yeah.

And pull it down a little bit. Maybe have it come down or, you know, then up and then mess with it. And mess with it. Use your... And hold your breath.

Seems like stuff we should be doing before the show starts. I try to do it before and you go, I don't, you go, no, I don't think that's it. Your solution to fix things a lot is not to change anything at all, which is why we're back in this same situation.

Yeah. That strategy worked for a while, though. Yeah. And then it's back. Yeah. But what do you think you're doing different than you did before? Nothing. Why would you do that?

Why would, if the whistling is back, why you not go let me try something different i didn't do anything before and it just it went away but clearly so three times maybe maybe they do the audio there has been whistling no whistling now back to whistling i think it's your fault so we have three times and you've gone back to the time that just keeps bringing it back. So maybe it fixes it. That's like a light that's going out that you're like, well, it's going out, but sometimes if I flick it with my finger, it comes on for an hour, and so I just do that. All right, so if there's whistling, just give us a heads up. Just tell us.

I mean, that's it. I wouldn't listen to podcasts if it had whistling going on. Would you? No. All right. I apologize for it. It I would I wouldn't listen to podcasts. We've had whistling going on. Would you? No. All right. Would you? I apologize for it. It's not that I want it to happen.

But you don't try to fix it. Like you can't just keep going. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for doing it. I'm going to continue to do the same thing. That's what you say. I'm sorry, everybody, for the whistling. What we will do is do all the same stuff that we've done the whole time.

And we will not try to fix anything at all. Is that, how does that sound, guys? I just don't know if you're an audio engineer. I'm, there's at least hope

in trying. What is, we have audio engineers. They said, put it closer. Oh, okay. All right. I mean,

there's, there's, that's unreal. It is unreal. All right. I mean, that's unreal. It is unreal. All right. Chad, you're going to be just off next week. Hey, guys, we took care of the whistling. No one else is doing it.

Chad Ryden, one of my favorite comedians. I laughed so hard when Berkshire snaps at Aaron about his laptop skills, obviously harboring a lot of resentment there. What was the conversation like when you guys told him you were taking the laptop keys away from the grandpa? Well, we told him and he couldn't hear us over his whistling. So, no, we talked about it. Yeah, honestly, it's an honest thing. I shouldn't have it.

He shouldn't have it. He shouldn't have it. The kid that's a kid should have it. That's 20 years old. That grew up with a laptop. Have you ever had a real... Did you have a laptop your whole life? No, I got a laptop when I was in college, but I've always had a computer. Yeah.

Laptop was a big deal when I first got a laptop. My parents bought me one. But I was like... I mean, I was probably your age. Yeah. Laptop was a big deal when I first got a laptop. My parents bought me one. But I was probably your age. Yeah. And my parents still bought me a laptop then, 28. Your parents bought you anything at your age? No. The last thing I have with my parents is I still use their Netflix account.

That's the last thing. I got off the cell phone plan. You still got the credit card, right? Or the checking account. Yeah, they're on my checking account, but they're not. It's just on there because they set it up for me. Yeah.

Did your mom, she balances your checkbook? I haven't done that forever, balancing the checkbook. I did it at the very beginning when you learned it. We talked about that last week. Oh, okay.

Some guy who works in banking said you should be balancing. Oh, really? At least checking your account. He's like, don't just trust the bank. Somebody at a bank said that? Yeah. Oh, don't trust the bank. Well, we do.

I think Laura does. Okay. I don't do it, but Laura does. Yeah. I'm saying i could get robbed blind yeah laura if laura and the bank fall in love together then they could run away from my money uh and it'd be all right i'd figure it out that's we'd be doing two podcasts a week uh nicholas butcher look who's back nicholas is Butcher. Nicole's Butcher.

Oh, Nicole's Butcher. That's right. Yeah, so that's the difference. That was the A. That was the mess up the first time. There was no A. Yeah. Which, again, was not my fault.

Nicole's Butcher. Bigfoot expert. I think Bigfoot may have been created by the aliens to keep track of our movements. Nate, I can't believe that. Aaron, Starbucks makes their store smell like coffee nate that's insane that can't be true what is wrong with you what's the matter with you aaron i do believe and that does make sense but i would believe the bigfoot thing more than the the coffee yeah i could see them making coffee now that i read it like this now that it's been

presented to me in a different way, it makes sense. Yeah, numerous people said they totally do that. That they make it. Just restaurants in general, pump out, smell. To make it so you realize. And some people were in the comments going, we got Aaron Alex Jones Weber going off about these conspiracies. And I just think, you know.

It's like an easy Alex Jones, though. It's just Starbucks. It's a very easy. Just food-related conspiracies and i just think you know it's like an easy alex jones though it's just starbucks it's just about it's a very easy just food related conspiracies yeah that would be a very passionate crazy just all this stuff that's you know they're pumping oxygen in the casinos and you're just looking and everybody's like i mean if they are that's fine yeah it's conspiracies that everybody's fine yeah they're just super low stakes they go oh that'd be pretty cool they should advertise it and starbucks like you know what we should let people know we pump coffee smell in our store and everybody's like that's a good idea

yeah that is a great idea starbucks had an aroma task force you sounded like alex jones yeah uh jeremy k gover gover jeremy k gover i know jeremy that is a monstrous framed picture of your senior photo who has their own senior photo on the ready in their house at 40 years old and yes you should have been picked for the modeling gig thank you for saying that i do think so uh i had it because uh actually it's always in the ready it was hung up in my so my mom and my aunt uh when we first did our room we've had somebody else designer design this room now and hang up all the pictures when we first started putting the stuff away in the house uh we did uh they hung that picture up as a joke and my wife's one so my i have that big senior picture

what's funny is everyone mine is that big my brother's is a little bit smaller and my sister's is basically the one that has the the name of the photo place on it yeah that's the free one that you keep that just says owens photo or something and so it all just went down uh and so we had it right in there so we had it hung up in here because my my mom and aunt hung it up on the wall to be funny and then i had it in there and i actually took it that day for something so i was taking it weirdly enough that day uh for brad paisley i did a thing with brad paisley which is going to be on uh stand up oh gosh stand up for the heroes stand up for heroes yeah for the veterans right that's what it's For Brad Paisley, I did a thing with Brad Paisley, which is going to be on stand-up. Oh, gosh. Stand-up for the heroes.

Stand-up for heroes. Yeah. For the veterans, right? That's what it's called, right? And it's November 18th. It's Bruce Springsteen. Where's this at? It's online.

I don't know how to find it. Oh, yeah. I'll look it up. I forgot I had the computer. You're about to give the computer back to someone else. Sounds like good on picking up on clues. You're about to give the computer back to someone else. Sounds like good on picking up on clues.

They, yes, Stand Up for Heroes, me and Brad Paisley did something together, and so I was taking it for that. I did some stand up on it. Brad did some song. But they, I mean, it's a crazy, it's the thing that's been around forever. A lot of comics on it,

but I mean, Bruce Springsteen, Sheryl Crow, I mean, Prince Harry's on it. Ray Rom bruce bruce springsteen cheryl crow uh i mean prince harry's on it ray romano ray romano uh so a lot of stuff like that so i did stand up on it and uh to an empty crowd at the opry grand opry and me and brad did something so uh yeah so there's that all right uh britney sawyer hello folks one time i took my family of five to the movies we were so excited for the movie to come out and even more excited when we realized we were the only people in the theater right before the movie started a woman and her baby came in and sat down in the seat right next to me she proceeded to pull out a duffel bag full of food from her

house wrapped in full and plastic containers it was so loud and distracting that I can't remember anything else from the film except this woman. Unbelievable that we have people roaming around not respecting the common courtesy of spreading out. That would, I mean, I could not handle it. You know, I think in those situations, we need to, as normal people, as your normal, situations we need to as as normal people as you're normal we need to just go just to talk to these people and go hey do you feel this would be insane what you're doing you know just ask them just go and i don't want to be crazy maybe i'm the one that's crazy that sits here quietly but do you think who's crazier you why do you bring this food out you may tell you my secret to if you ever want to say something like that to someone once she sits down with that

food you got to go that's insane that you brought that much food you got to say it so quick because it's going to be funny then it's like it's like the tension gets broke if you wait till the middle of the movie and go that's insane that you brought that much food that's that's presented at all i mean that's a whole different conversation then when this woman walks in if she walks in with a big bag of food and you go don't sit next to me with all that food that's crazy right then you'd be like ah i know i'm gonna sit down here i like bringing food no i get it that's fun i bring food sometimes just sit over there don't be weird right and you're like oh now it's kind of like a good time yeah and we have a fun time and we enjoy the movie maybe become friends maybe i get some of our food or but if you sit there and wait till i mean 45 minutes in and you go that's an insane

amount of food you brought there yeah that's now you're in a fight hey just so you know it is crazy that you brought that in you know in the middle of the movie hey just a quick heads up i don't even know what's going on in this movie. I can't get over you, just that you walk around on Earth. How does she sneak a duffel bag into a movie? No one cares, man. I mean, you can put stuff in your pockets. Everybody does, but a duffel bag full of stuff.

A woman with a purse? I mean, it's her purse. It's true. You can just say it's a purse. What are you going to do? I mean, a duffel bag full of a woman with a purse i mean what are you it's her purse uh it's true it's her purse say it's a purse what are you gonna do you know i mean a duffel bag would be i mean you've seen purses now they got some purses that are huge a duffel bag is pretty big though yeah it's well i mean but i you know people bringing stuff i mean i would you know you always bring i was bringing candy i buy i buy now i came from so much of growing up of having to sneak food in that I now buy just because I want to. I was so, my parents, we could never buy anything that the store was selling.

Any place we went to, whatever they were selling that you wanted, my parents would try to get in for free. They just didn't. They couldn't. We could never afford it. If you go a coke somewhere it's it's like we're bringing our everything's like let's go here bringing our own food and then you know i get it though it's expensive and you have a family with young kids i mean you go to movies now it would be 100 bucks yeah would you um i have a friend who's she had a moral dilemma about allowing her child I have a friend who's, she had a moral dilemma about allowing her child.

It's kind of like cheating. Yeah. But at the same time, the prices are so ridiculous. She didn't know she wanted to teach her child that that's okay. Like, what would you say for Harper? Yeah. I try to just buy it with Harper. I think I have snuck it in, but if I sneak it in, I do it. And Harper just goes, no, you can't we're gonna get

in trouble we're gonna go to jail like I mean she's like kind of joking yeah she doesn't think we're gonna go to jail but it's like a kid you know it would be like when she does zoom classes always threatened to go I go you know let me say hi to your class and I'm in like my boxers and no shirt yeah no don't you come over yeah yeah you know or harper will actually go okay like harper lets me but i would i'd do it in that way to go i think i'm gonna sneak in everybody did i'd be like i can't believe i snuck this candy in it's you know where she thinks it's she knows it's wrong yeah but uh yeah i don't think you know our friend chad riding that wrote him and he's my favorite he would some he had he had some walmart that wrote them, he's my favorite. He had some Walmart beef. That was my absolute favorite.

He thinks they deserve it. Chad would be someone, he sneaks in full-on food and then thinks they deserve it. And I'm on board with that. Well, I'm on board with that. I think you got to do that. You either got to teach your kid not to do it or you got to teach them this is the only way we do do it. Chad was at a movie and turned around and told the people behind him to shut the F up, and it was Wynonna and her husband.

Wynonna Rodder? No, Wynonna Judd. Oh. It was two Wynonnas. Yeah. I mean, Wynonna Judd just goes by Wynonna. Yeah. Oh, okay.

That's awesome. I bet nobody said that to her in a long long time no i just didn't care man chad's the best chad right they got into it uh yeah i mean yeah that i like that i do i think that's how you got to do you got to teach your kids either don't do it or this is the only way to do it and you and then but go either way you don't teach them in the there's no gray area teach your kids very just black and white here's what happens or you don't do it or whatever all right matt h on the subject of people hurting toward lines when i was in the navy and our ship was underway we just stand at random a random spot in the hallway when people asked what the line was for we'd say something like ice cream or something special dessert

then after we got a few people to line up we'd make'd say something like ice cream or something special dessert. Then after we got a few people to line up, we'd make up an excuse like we had to go to another appointment. Great fun to break up the monotony of being out to sea for weeks at a time. People love a line. Thanks for doing that, Matt. I mean, being on a ship like that, that's got to be nuts, and you do need some stuff. That's very funny.

People do like a line. They want to just go to a line. Watch if you watch parking cars anything you can usually avoid that's when people always talk about we're overcrowded i always uh we got too many people whatever and i mean kathy madigan had a joke like go drive through kansas there's plenty of room there's plenty of room everywhere there's plenty of room in your crowded area if you go anywhere just go in not the normal door just the door that is you know if you go to a mall you can park somewhere else that's not a normal entrance and you could get in easy you're going to be in places that are crowded i understand but there's usually ways just don't follow the normal just go what's the other way to do it and then you don't you know you guys get it uh gary mcdonald i have a jasper mall story i was in 11th grade 2009 and i took a

girl to prom who was from that area there was a change in plans with our group of about eight couples to go out to eat before prom we chose a steakhouse inside the jasper mall garfields i believe that's what it was called i I immediately begin sweating, realizing I only had about $21. I was the only guy from a different school, so I couldn't just announce my poor luck and laugh it off. I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, club sandwich and a water. While my date got a steak dinner, I remembered being so nervous to get the check. I was $1 and some change change short i was hoping to just put it in the black bifold and check holder i was hoping to put in the black check holder and bounce but others needed their change back waiter came back and completely bailed me out he said someone shored me a little bit it's all good you guys have a great night wow that's funny to he bailed him

out by saying i know someone shorted me i mean he did he bailed him out by saying, someone shorted me. I mean, he bailed him out by saying, let you go. But I mean, he didn't bail you out by, no. You know what's funny, Garrett? I'm in the same boat as you. I've had that happen. I went to another girl's, Carmen. Her girl I went to church with, she was older than me. And I went to her.

She went to McGavock or something, to their prom. And I remember going, and I forget. I mean, dude, it's this story. I had no money. And I had maybe that. And everybody, they're just buying stuff. Everybody's making this big thing. And I was so embarrassed. And I didn't want to say, hey hey i don't have any money yeah i don't want to ask her

for money and so i ordered i got i mean i got i got water and i don't think i eat i go no i ate before and i didn't and i remember i was so hungry i was so was a weird, it wasn't like a time where you go eat and you go, I don't care. It was a time that I go, I am starving. And I didn't know we were all going to this thing. I didn't know this was happening. I don't have any money. This is 1996 or seven. This isn't, you know, hey, Venmo me some money.

I mean, the kids don't even, you're just out. There's no cell phone. I can't call my mom and get money or something. I forget why I didn't have any. I mean, because I had no money then. And I remember the bill came in. I think I just had to pay. I think we just did the same thing.

I mean, I don't know if I was short or something, but I remember making it out and just hoping that we were done with spending money for that night because it was like i'm out are you so crazy i had that same thing happen do you remember having anything else of that story like did you have to spend any other money i don't think so no i think it was that but i remember that being my nightmare yeah to go where are we going huh what's that we're gonna go eat wow okay uh you know just like i didn't know that because i was invited she asked me to come to her prom right and so it was maybe i was even younger i don't know if i was a year younger or two years younger but she asked me to go to her

prom so i was just a young you know and i'm with and i was with i mean dude he's with the other i was at another school i was at a different school so i i wasn't like my buddies i only have her that i know and you know mcgavick's like an uh intimidating school i was going to donaldson christian academy like the small i graduated 56 people they have 500 and so i mean i'm just overwhelmed the girls who called me worried were from mcgavick oh really i feel like mcgavick girls could smell that out pretty quick uh i love that you're at a prom dinner you're like nah i ate i ate before yeah i you knew you're gonna come here right oh yeah i do yeah i remember the restaurant uh man i don't. I kind of remember it, but I don't. I mean, it was something that was a little bit, it was more expensive than I thought.

I mean, these kids would have been playing. Like, I wasn't even, I think I was, I got asked, like, she took me that week. Like, we were friends, and I don't, maybe who she was going to take didn't work. Something happened. Maybe they broke up. I have no idea.

And so we went, and I i don't it wasn't even really like a date kind of thing i don't think but i was i just remember being a lot younger so i mean i'm not even prepared it wasn't like i know hey this prom's coming i need to start saving money because i gotta we're gonna go do these things i think i went out that night going i don't know what we're doing and then it's like oh this is way more serious than I thought. Yeah. I get it, Garrett. Man. Matt Klein. This is Catherine Klein's husband.

I mean, we are, I feel like our listeners, we're just having now the husbands talking. Hey, guys, how you doing? This is Catherine's aunt. Catherine Klein's husband, Matt. She married me only for the name. I have no other redeemable qualities. Thanks for reading her comments i now get to how she impressed professional comedians she is like michael

scott and dwight's speech she's captivated the guys who captivated a thousand guys that's a great yeah uh that's awesome man thank you uh michael ellis i got your lost car story beat one year in reno working at a brewery with a parking garage above it. On New Year's Eve, one of my coworkers got off work early and used another coworker's car to run home and change out of his work wear. After watching the fireworks and closing up shop, we spent an hour looking for this car. He swore up and down that it's parked in one place while everyone thought he was so drunk that he could not remember where it was a week goes by

and the poor girl had to make an insurance claim for a stolen vehicle one year later to the day we were walking to the top of the parking garage to once again watch the fireworks and someone made a comment about a car covered in dust And all you hear after the comment is, oh my God, that's my car. No joke. She ended up being investigated for insurance fraud. Wow. Thanks for the great show, folks. Keep up the fantastic work.

That is crazy. Yep. That is just, oh, that's my car. That is, I mean, how embarrassing. A year later. A year later. And just on the top. Almost there.

Joshua Nettleton. Years ago, I managed a Ruby Tuesdays located in a mall. Big fan of Ruby Tuesdays. They had a great salad. Didn't go there until late. I don't remember going there as young. They have a salad bar, don't they? Salad bar.

Yeah, salad bar is good. Years ago, I managed a Ruby Tuesday located in a mall. One day, the oven was open and a billow of smoke set off the fire alarm. I immediately ran out of the kitchen, through the dining room, towards the outdoor entrance, because for some reason, that's where the fire alarm override panel was located. To prevent the fire department from being dispatched, I had 30 seconds to get the code entered. You can imagine the look on the customer the managers as the manager appeared to be running out while i'm out of breath trying to tell every you trying to yell everything is fine

i kind of is that reading that up so this fire to get to calm it down was uh to set it off the panel was outside so funny to think of like a billowing smoke come out you just see the manager running out the door while you're eating yeah everything's fine as he takes off everything's fine as he goes out the front door yeah and you go well he's left us and you're the you're the dummies for staying that would be you know that would be one of those things do you stay would you stay yeah yeah you would stay i'd wait it out to see what happened i'd wait out to see what happens but i'd wait it out to see what happens, but I would definitely be gathering. I'd be prepared. I'd put my jacket on. Yeah, I'd be prepared to be

going. All right, one last comment. Someone said, Nate, are you involved in this golf tournament? Bert Kreischer talked on Two Bears about a golf tournament among comedians. I saw you on Bill Burt, and we talked about golf. Yeah, I mean, look, we're trying to see what's going on with that, with that golf tournament. Uh,

it's, uh, you know, we're going to be moving it along and see where we're at. And, uh, so I can tell you, stay tuned for it. I'm definitely loving life, nice golf tournament. So, uh, we have been chatting and we're going to see if we get something together uh so i will let you know i don't know you know not that i'm telling you one way or the other but i'm definitely trying to have a golf tournament so uh we will see if it works out all right uh this week we uh are we did there's a lot of comments there's a lot of side well we

talked a lot about the poll up off the top. Yeah. So this week, we were talking about this week. Oh, by the way, John Augustine, the golfer that was here from Vandy, played in the Masters, made the cut, played all four days, would have won, I think, $27,000 if he wasn't an amateur. He gets nothing. Wow. Because he's an amateur uh but played

terrific we are i mean i'm very excited for him you know to make the cut at the masters is an enormous deal and it was fun to get to watch him i mean you know i would say i know a lot of you guys hate when i talk about golf but it's my podcast and not yours. And it's – I won't get into a ton of golf, but, I mean, it is fun to watch. Watch this kid, John Augustine. He's going to be a big star in golf. And, you know, it's very fun to watch people come up and get to see their careers and see how it pans out. And so he did really great, and I was very excited for him.

And, you know, it was a big deal. I played with Rory McIlroy. He was on TV. I mean, it's Augusta in November. It's weird. I mean, it's amazing, amazing thing to be a part of. So, yeah, there's that. That's really cool.

We had Masters food. So you can order. The Masters did a very big thing. So I've never been to the Masters, but their concession stand, they're super famous for pimento cheese sandwiches and egg salad sandwiches. And their food at concessions. All their food at the Masters, too, is like $1.50. Really?

It's like 50s prices. The Masters, people that run the Masters should run the world. I mean, they're really good at what they do. And they have all this stuff. So that's not it. That's not what it looks like? No. So anyway, that's telling you how to make their pimento cheese.

This came from the guy that makes it. So since no fans could be there, you could order this package, That's telling you how to make their pimento cheese. Okay. This came from the guy that makes it. Oh, okay. So since no fans could be there, you could order this package, and they sent out pimento cheese, egg salad, barbecue sandwiches, and popcorn and cookies and these chips in these bags and then Master's cups. And so it was like a thing you could order. It made a ton of food, actually. We didn't think it was going to make that much.

And egg salad was unreal. Unreal. You know, I'm not a big onion fan, and I thought for sure all this stuff's going to have just the most onions. Here it is. Taste of the masters. Taste of the masters. I thought all this stuff would have so much stuff. Egg salad had no onions, and I was addicted to it.

It's so good. But you got all this stuff so we ordered we ordered that and made a pound of pimento cheese pound of eggs out an awesome we kind of ate that and watched the masters and watched football so it ended up being a very very fun weekend fun thing to do which speaking of food is going to bring us into our topic today about fast food we're going to talk about fast food. We actually had fast food to start this at McDonald's.

Yep. We had McDonald's. No breakfast this morning, which is kind of weird. I was trying to get breakfast. Yeah, so you texted me and said,

well, I texted, said, I'm in line with what everybody wants. You said sausage McMuffin meal. Yeah. Sausage McMuffin meal with a Diet Coke.

So I got up to... You don't With a Diet Coke So I got up to You don't say the Diet Coke Then I'm gonna get judge free I drink soda In the morning Oh sorry But

That's the thing Oh that's the It was lunch time Oh Yeah You're trying to help That's like You're trying to be

It's like my mom being But He did it And you're like Yeah But it was It was noon when it happened yeah i would eat it was 12 30 diet coke at six in the morning oh easy easy wouldn't even i would almost prefer

it you'd rather drink a diet coke than like a coffee uh yeah with breakfast i'd rather have if i'm not really having breakfast if i'm just having like a you know if i eat like a cliff bar or something or something quick snack yeah i would rather but i donuts krispy kreme i will have diet coke it's funny that that's what you think people will be judging us i don't know we're eating mcdonald's period they're already judging us where i know but they expect us to eat mcdonald's when i say i drink diet when i drink cokes for breakfast people that's that's even more. But this was, so I mean, it's like 1230. So it's prime lunchtime. There's a lot of cars behind me.

And I said, I want a sausage McMuffin Diet Coke for you. And then I said, Big Mac meal, Dr. Pepper for me. And then he said, no breakfast. We don't have breakfast. So then I texted you real fast. Hey breakfast we don't have breakfast so then i texted you real fast hey they don't have breakfast and you got back to me really fast but i was panicking so i said all right just give him a big mac meal too with diet coke just give us two of them and he said okay and he's giving me total and then you text give me number one no onions diet coke so i was

like wait a minute let me change the meal I want number one now with no onions and he said okay so two Big Mac meals one with no onion

I'm like no no no no no no I want to get rid of one of those Big Mac meals I want a number one with no onions and this is

the whole who's on first thing starts going I mean we're debating for a while and then finally I realized oh that is the number one. I was like, I am so sorry. That is my bad.

You're right. Just, I mean, he had it right the first time. All I had to do was say no onions. Yeah. But it was the meal number. That's what threw me off. I was like, this guy's an idiot, dude. I'm telling you.

And it's over a drive-through speaker. Oh, yeah. It's like if you could be. That's how you realize how important it is. That's why Zooms don't work. That's why you need to see someone's face to go like, no, man, you need to see your eyes not knowing what you're saying. And then when he sees it, he goes, oh, this guy.

He might even just go, okay, okay, I got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So a number one in a big mac meal like he just knows i'm not trying to confuse this just go with whatever this go with whatever this man's saying yeah this is what's happening you know it's like a hostage just where the guy's got a gun he's like he's like i can't do this anymore he's like hey none of us can do this anymore i agree i think life is hard man i agree you are right and he just lets it don't don't try to fight this how do they know i almost asked that guy but we'd already been through enough today when there's multiple lanes and they merge into

one how do they know how to keep the orders right i don't know i've always wanted to ask you the name uh yeah like chick-fil-a will ask you the name but mcdonald's is a free-for-all they don't know. They ask you the name. Yeah, like Chick-fil-A will ask you the name, but McDonald's is a free-for-all. They don't ask your name. But they get it right. Yeah. They do get it right. I think they can see you too, right? So they can know what kind of car it is.

I don't know. I don't know, but I saw two women yell at each other at a Chick-fil-A because they were merging. Yeah. And the woman was yelling, well, they're going to give you the wrong order. I was like, nah, I think they'll figure it out. Yeah, we drive off and they go, we got the wrong order.

Because the woman merged in front of me. And that's what happens. You've got to joke about it. But in the South, this has happened to me. A lot of people will just wave you on through. And I keep thinking it's going to mess things up. But it never does. I've never seen that drive-through.

They go, this is what we do. This is our hardest job of a fast food restaurant. The thing we focus on the most is the merge of those two cars. So we've got it down. There they go. And we just think they can't handle it. Fast food has gotten, like Chick-fil-A has gotten so good as far as their drive-ins that I think everything else is getting a little better

mcdonald's you really got to go during the day if you go during the day it's pretty good and then at night when it gets super like anywhere if it gets super late you get some midnight 1 a.m 2 a.m it's stuff's going to get a little you know that's my favorite dude when you show up at a mcdonald's at like two and it's just who knows what's going on inside of there i pulled up once and the woman goes she just goes over the speaker listen nobody else showed up so i'm probably gonna leave i go all right so i just left she's like in there alone oh she's like i'm letting you know nobody else came to work so i'm probably gonna leave right now yeah so i'm not gonna make you food yeah so like she had i mean the food might not even be on yeah yeah dude and you just go okay just leave yeah but chick-fil-a is like a well-oiled machine dude it's so impressive what

an operation they have out there people out there meeting you in person you know you take your order they take i mean you get your order taken it's the only place that there's a line long line you're like just go ahead and go it's fine it's it's gonna be you're gonna get through yep you know yeah it's pretty crazy i love fast food i eat i mean i eat it too much i just go it's the only thing i wrap my head around i don't know what to think you know when i when i need to eat that would be my main problem. I talked to someone about eating and they go, uh,

well, where are you going to go eat? I don't know. I can't think outside of, well, they have food. So I'll just go there. And that's the foods made.

Yeah. It's almost like, I don't want to go through the top rule making it. I don't make it. I mean, Laura, if Laura's not cooking for some reason, like,

then it's like, they're not going to go out. But even if she's not cooking, I'm eating at home. I mean, if Laura's not cooking for some reason, then it's like they're not going to go. But even if she's not cooking, I'm eating at home, I'll eat Tostinos, which I think we've said that wrong. What's that pizza? Totino's? Tostino's. Yeah.

I think we said it wrong, though. Right. Somebody called us out on that. But I'll eat that pizza. I love that pizza. It's probably my favorite pizza, which I know is dumb, but I just love making it. I don't have good

taste i guess i'm not a good food taste guy well that's a that's a good place to be i feel like can you imagine just like having two sophisticated taste buds for the most popular food in the country you know yeah but i think you would not eat as bad if, you know, I think, yeah, I think people that have my food taste, we, you know, diabetes runs rampant through our population. It's, we're not, it's not good. We don't eat, we don't know how to eat better. It's very beneficial to me that I don't live close to any fast, it's not convenient coming home. Yeah. Because I used to live off Donaldson Pike, like where you live now, and there's just, it's murderer close to any fast food. It's not convenient coming home. Yeah. Because I used to live off Donaldson Pike,

like where you live now, and there's just, it's murderer's row of fast food. Oh, yeah. So it's so easy just to hit it every time you're coming home. Yeah, every time you drive through. I think it's too,

we grew up with no money. And so when you grow up with no money, you're eating, you know, I mean, you're either eating just whatever at home or you're going, you're never going to a nice restaurant. Yeah. You're only going to, if you went to Shoney's on a Sunday,

that would be – you're doing that maybe once a month. You can't go – because even if you go to Shoney's and it's cheap, it's not like it's $8. It's – to take a whole family out, we have brother and sister, five – my parents are spending 50 bucks or 60 bucks. Or maybe my kids eat free, I guess. Unless you'd get that kind of stuff. My parents, did I tell a story about them not having 99 cents for McDonald's for me?

When we were, when I was like 12, my brother, I think I was 12. Maybe I was 10. And my brother, we go, my aunt, we go and, which, by the way, this, if anybody's seen this band, this is for my Aunt Sandy to just keep her in your prayers. She's, it's not good. She has pancreatic cancer. And so we're just praying super hard for her and hope everything gets, you know, works out. Just so if you ever see this, that's what this is for. you know, works out. Just so if you ever see this, that's what this is for.

But so my aunt, other aunt Judy, we were, we went to someone's house and my aunt was like, don't get out of the car. And then we immediately get out of the car. And this kid was swinging a golf club and then swung it, hit my brother in the head. And so my brother still has a scar. And it just was like, I mean, just a chunk of his head came out. So we had drove to the hospital. So they go to the hospital. He has to get stitches there's always the thing that my dad goes in and goes to tell my mom was like all right we got him calmed down when you see it it's alarming

but you need to keep a face you know and my mom goes in there and just is like hello like you know just i mean just her her baby's and she's trying to be like it's okay uh and anyway so we have our other friends the dentons are close family friends and they uh the the dentons they bring their kids up there because they're where we had kids so brandon and derrick are friends and are the same age. And so Brandon and Derek, they get done. They're like, all right, we're going to go. You want to go get McDonald's?

And between the two families, this was when Happy Meals were 99 cents. And they go, all right, let's go get McDonald's. And they only had enough between two families to afford two Happy Meals. Between both those families, they had $2.02, and that's all they had. So since I'm the oldest, and they still do this joke to me, they came up to me and said, Nate, is it all right if we don't get you a Happy Meal? And in my face face I was like

yeah it's fine and like just cried and so they still to this day this has been 30 something years ago they still Wayne Denton and the Dentons will come up and be like Nate is it alright if we don't get you a happy meal oh that's fine

but the real story is how do you have how do you have all these families and none of y'all have you only have is two dollars and two cents i think it was like a so there were three kids there was uh i mean they they this at this point there was two they both families have three kids yes and but they're only buying Drew, their youngest. Shelby, their youngest might not have been born. Drew, the other one was probably five or four, so it doesn't matter. So only three that mattered, me, Derek, and Brandon.

We were the only three that mattered. Actually, they wanted to go eat McDonald's the rest are either a baby and it doesn't matter yeah and my sister I don't remember if she was born yet

I don't think so but they didn't have it they didn't have it till this day I think about it all the time like isn't the story

how do you not they were you know I mean they had to be in their 30s at that time can you imagine not having you know there's no debit cards or there's none of this other stuff.

You don't have five bucks on you? Five bucks. You don't have a fiver? You don't have $3. $3 you could probably figure it out. They had $2 between both the families. They didn't have any money. And then I got the brunt of it.

Is it hard if we don't get you a Happy Meal? But with that mentality, I do think I think fast food a lot. I eat fast food. I eat it a ton. I'm a big fan. Had it today at McDonald's. Oh, and today is Fast Food Day. Yeah.

Right? National Fast Food Day. National Fast Food Day. And we did not know that. And last week we said, what are we going to talk about? And we said, let's talk about fast food. Because we're always circling the topic. So it was like, let's talk about fast food.

And today's National Fast Food Day. Yeah, the stars aligned. So we're going to eat. I'll eat it twice tonight. I can make an excuse up to go eat. We talked about this morning. My wife said, taking some of the dry cleaners and i was i said are you gonna take it and she wasn't gonna take it because she's i don't have anything

but you can take it and i go okay i'll take it and then i said well i'm probably gonna stop at sonic because it's right next to it and i realized like i can make up i can make everything be a special well i'm here yeah you know yeah and every where you go every day can't be that. Yeah. I'm almost always looking for that normal day and I don't have that normal day. Cause when you're on the road, you think, well, I'm on the road and you go, well, you're either going to die in a hotel on the road. Cause you don't ever stop eating this kind of stuff, you know,

cause you get so many people that they go, yeah, I don't, they, they, they get back to normal they're i think eating is very boring for most people is what it should be that's what i'm that's what i'm hearing from healthy people is your food should be boring you should be mostly i eat chicken and rice and i eat at home and i cook it it nothing big. It's more functional than anything else. Yes. Yeah. It's not, I don't enjoy every meal. I think that's the key. It's a sad way to live. I enjoy every meal.

Yeah. I look forward to it. Right. I mean. Kind of, that's how I frame my whole day. Yeah. Just to go, what's it going to be? You know?

I try to, yeah. Do I try to go to the same fast food restaurant twice? No. I don't go back to back i've done it i've done it i could do it i just had to go through all my credit card statements from last year for my taxes and let me tell you it's pretty sad going through you could you could see i could remember all like the the weekends where i was i went to like a steak and shake like three nights in a row yeah and got the same it's the same price so i just got the same thing three

nights in a row it was tough to look through all that yeah that birmingham that steak shake right across from the hotel so funny that we know well that is that you get stuck where you go i'm on them in a hotel yeah right you know you're not making a ton of money what are you going to go eat you're going to go eat that's all you can and it's like at midnight you know where can i go yep yeah so it was tough to look through and just see the numbers i was putting up what was the do you know what total was the fast food i would love to i have the numbers yeah i had to look at my numbers too to see. The average American spends $1,200 a year on fast food. I think that's not even. That's the stimulus check.

I think it would help me if I got it down to $1,200. I think if I talk to someone, they go, let's just try to get it to $1,200 a year. Yeah, let's get it. Just become an average American, please. All right. Okay. $1,200 a year.

Yeah. Yeah. That's average. Some people don't do it at all You're right, you're right I'll have If Laura

See if you can find out How much If I Is there an easy way to look up My wife's not there $1,200 She left That'd be $100 a month

On average for people That's, I mean Maybe Hopefully I was just $12 Maybe I was just that That's a lot I feel like $100 a month on average for people. That's, I mean, hopefully I was just 12. Maybe I was just that. That's a lot, I feel like. $100 a month?

Yeah. Maybe. I don't know if it's a lot. $3 a day. Yeah, roughly. But I mean, now stuff costs $7. Yeah. A meal costs $7.

Right. Every single day, almost 1% of the global population eats at McDonald's. That translates to 69 million people every day. 75 burgers are sold every second on average. Yeah. Wow. I feel like that's where your whistling comes from too. What?

You just bent down to leave the mic. Don't touch it. Now read that. What do you throw right in your mic well i know but didn't i do that no okay your nose i mean you go it's basically it's like you here's what it's it's honestly like you just uh what you're as you talk your nose goes i'd like to say something you go okay and then you put your nose goes, I'd like to say something. You go, okay. And then you put your nose in the mic. You can start doing this.

He's reading the papers up now. The world's largest toy distributor is McDonald's, thanks to their Happy Meals. Can you... Yeah. Laura came up here. Can you see how much I would have spent on fast food last year?

She's going to crunch some numbers. She'll crunch some numbers. I want to see if I'm an average American. Don't just walk in and tell us. We'll see what I feel, if I'm an average American or not. I think I'm the best average American. That's what I always say in every pitch meeting. If I go for a pitch a show, I tell them, I go,

I think I'm one of the greatest average Americans that have ever lived. Dude, I can tell you when I feel something's going to get canceled on TV, I know, I think America's not on board anymore. I eat at all these restaurants. That's just because you're not on board with it. If I'm not on board, I think I'm like an average person. I talk about being average, but I am the greatest average American that's ever lived. I talk about being average but I am the greatest

average American that's ever lived is I am I dude I tell when I go when I pitch these shows

honestly I would go in there and tell these networks that I go I know all your problems your stuff that you're not making why I'm not watching your shows

because I don't like these shows I like this Modern Family I love but this one like because you're crazy and I would tell them I know how to run

you're a one man focus group you could just talk to And I would tell them I know how to run. You're a one-man focus group. You could just talk to me. I could tell you when I go, hey, stuff's starting to wean off. No one likes this thing as much anymore. And it's just, you can hear things. And I hear, this is good, this is not good, this is kind of good. You hear things from us. Fingers on the pulse, dude.

Fingers on the pulse. Yeah, I believe it. Of average American. It is good. This is not good. This is kind of good. You hear things from us. Fingers on the pulse, dude. Fingers on the pulse. Yeah, I believe it. Of average American. It is now. Yeah, it was. You're one of the top unexceptional people in the United States. I'm the best. Yeah, I talk to, no, it's not y'all.

You're clueless of what's going on. I don't think you're average American. You're like, guys, did you know you can rent a golf course for only $4,500 a day? I get to do other things. Yeah. I do fun things. I get that. That's not that bad to rent that golf course for $4,500 a day.

I'm, what I'm here for is to show average. Look, if you're an average person, let me tell you, it's something that I learned. As again, I'm the greatest average. So I'm going to do things a little bit better. I do the average things better than you do. If you go renting a car, it's a perfect scenario. People go rent cars all the time. They go, what's the cheapest car economy?

Blah, blah, blah. They get it. I mean, for $3 more, you can get up to the highest level that's almost to the next level. If you just looked, it's not, you're not doing a scam. There's not a trick. It's just look. So it's maybe it's a dollar more, maybe it's $5. There's times I think you could look at first class ticket, look at a first class ticket. Sometimes if you ever go fly, it's five there's times i think you could look at first class ticket look at a first class ticket sometimes if you ever go fly it's got to be probably more regional where if you go fly from you know nashville to i don't know st louis or something or whatever if or those kind of quick trips one time i was flying from seattle to los angeles it was $50 more, $50 to fly first class. With that first class ticket,

my bag was free and I got a meal on the plane. So why would you not just do that? You're going to probably spend that, the meal that you're going to eat at the thing and checking the bag. Right. There's so many times that you could just go, let's just look. I'm not saying you buy it, but if you look, sometimes it's $75. I think a lot of times it's $100 more. So there could be plenty of people that are like, oh, I would spend $100 more. But no one thinks to look. You don't think that.

So just look. That's all I say. Look at hotels. When you look at hotels, man, you can go stay at some nice hotels. Sometimes you go off season in places. You could stay at four seasons for $300 a night. There's just stuff you can go do if you just kind of go just look over it. You're online.

You don't have to go talk to someone. Just kind of glance at it and be like, hey, that's how you do it. This is my version of that. In college, when we used to buy beer, we used to always get Natty Light or Keystone Lights, the cheapest beer. And if you just look a little bit to the left, Bud Light is like a dollar more per case. Yes. And we could have had such, it's so much better. So much better.

You wouldn't have the problems that you have today. The health problems. That just alone, sit alone. That ship at sale by then, dude. But I see what you're saying. But that is, no, I'm saying all the stuff that Keystone Lights is going to cause you later. Oh, yeah. It's still catching up with me, I'm saying all the stuff that Keystone Light's going to cause you later. Oh, yeah. It's still catching up with me, I'm sure.

But yes, people don't think to just look over and go, oh, I could just do that and it's that much cheaper. Yeah. It's not like you're doing something that expensive. Yeah. All right. What was another fun fact? Well, let me finish the Happy Meal. Okay.

Yeah. The world's largest toy distributor is McDonald's, me finish the Happy Meal. The world's largest toy distributor is McDonald's, thanks to their Happy Meals. You don't even have to hold that. I'm being a little funny. If you're going to read something, just move the mic down and go, I'm going to read it this way.

I hope people watch. Maybe it was taking the laptop not being away. That's what changed. Yeah. Figured it out. Oh, because he was looking down. Right.

Because he had it on his computer before this, right? Could be. Yeah. I mean, it feels like your nose just raises his hand. You go, yep, go ahead. And then you put your nose right in the microphone. And he goes goes how you doing i'm brian bates's nose uh breakfast is no i like that joke that's fun

that's a good theory although it went away before this is what i don't like though this is the problem you going along with his theory i am the one that's debunking this whole thing and you've just argued with me yeah the whole podcast and then you just when he says something you're like you know what that does make sense well i think brian's whole objection to what you were saying is that it changed but he didn't do anything differently but now we figured out something that's that changed i then said it's you looking down at the papers and i didn't argue with that but you've argued with me all morning and then he says that I don't care for that I tell you that I don't care for that there's I'm there's clearly something wrong and that doesn't make sense for your argument to go well I'm not doing anything different

and then he says that you go yeah yeah that's right well then because he pointed out something different that I'm telling I know but dude how do you solve something do you think you solve a problem do you think you just come in and go here's the problem or do you go hey we have a problem let's talk about the problem and you go i don't want to talk about the problem i'm going to do everything exactly the same which is your problem that you just go and do everything the exact same you're not a good average american in In life, that's my problem? I think it leaks into your life, yes. It bleeds over.

Yeah, I think someone your age that lives by the motto, nothing you say is right, yeah, I do think it leaks into it. Well, now we're getting to a whole bigger issue. Well, it is a bigger issue. I don't like that you just agreed with him. I said something was wrong. You should try to fix it. And you argued with me.

I'm not going to do anything. And then I said, it's the nose thing, you bending down. Correct. Which then got us into finding what we think the real reason is. I would like a little credit for getting us there. You got us there for sure. Oh, Aaron, thanks. Aaron, who wouldn't have said nothing.

Who would have just died with the whistle. We'd be down to just nobody. My mom listened to this podcast is all we'd have had. And she would have had it muted. I don't know. I don't know. What's the dollar menu? Happy Meal. Happy Meal. Happy Meal.

The world's largest toy distributor is McDonald's, thanks to their Happy Meals. And since transitioning to include more books rather than toys, McDonald's has sold more books to kids as part of Happy Meals that are housed in the Library of Congress. It's kind of a loose, they sold more books. They ain't really sold more books. Are they putting books in Happy Meals now? Well, Chick-fil-A does a hilarious thing.

What? With they give you a book, but then you can go trade the book in for an ice cream. Oh, really? I believe that's what you can, which is hilarious. That is so funny to go, we're going to give you a book, but if you don't want to read,

you can get ice cream. It looks like you're trying to get kids off reading. Like it should be the opposite. If you want a book, if you want ice cream, you have to read this book or something. But they go, give us the book back and I'll give you ice cream.

I mean, I wouldn't read. No one on earth is going to go, I'd like to hang on to this book. You keep that ice uh i got a book i got a book i mean it's so and so them and mcdonald's going we've sold more books to me you haven't you're not selling books people are not buying books at mcdonald's yeah you got it packaged in a nice fast food box yeah i mean it's funny to think when you break down like that would be positive publicity that you spend something. That's a perfect way to spend something.

Our kids are fatter than they've ever been, but we've sold more books to them. And you go, well, you're not. Oh, that's good. They're inside reading all day. That's why they're fat. Yeah. You go, oh, that's fun.

Are you reading? So they're reading the books. You got them. If you ask kids, I didn't even know that they were selling books. I buy Happy Meals. We get them. I think they still have toys. Happy Meals do?

I think you get the option. That's what I just read. You get the option of it. Do you want a book or a toy? Yeah. So you can get fries or apple slices. Yeah. I mean, who's making those choices well you

get both though do you yeah there's something they don't not give you apple slices harper gets happy meals yes and i they always go uh fries or apple slices and i feel like it's is it more fries it's just more fries yeah so they go it's they you want fries or apple slices which means do you want extra fries or do you want apple slices you're getting fries because at first i would say well we want i'll take fries i'm not trying to give her apple slices yeah but they should just go just give us fries and apple slices just put them in there we don't say now we want an extra set of fries yeah but that's what it is. Uh-huh. It's like... The guy gets you, the kid's hooked, man.

Oh, they're hooked. I know. Oh, they're hooked. Yeah. I'm hooked. McDonald's is low-key one of the most morally good companies in the world. Really? They're doing more to advance the common good than anybody.

Yeah. They're giving books to kids. They probably feed more homeless people than soup kitchens do. Oh, yeah. Oh, they're everywhere. They give money to everywhere. The Ronald McDonald Foundation. Yeah, I'm not trashing McDonald's, trust me.

Oh, no. It's my favorite. I'm just saying it's funny to see it and really break it down that it's like this is all happening, that they're trying to push this. But, yes, McDonald's actually does. I'm defending them if people are trashing them and judging. I agree. I agree that so many people just end up them and judging and screaming there. I agree.

That so many people just end up, they trash them and go, we can't be having these people eat it. We don't have McDonald's. That would affect the world. How much did they do? How much good did they do? People are fine. How do they feed the homeless? We don't know. The homeless people eat there.

Oh. Yeah. I don't know. That's a loose. I mean, I didn't look up any of the statistics. Yeah, that was a pretty loose statement. But just in general. Yeah, I feel like, dude, if you're a homeless guy or somebody, and you're low on money, dude, you go to a fast food place and get a burger for a dollar.

It's the most calories you can get. This was like a spinning situation that I was talking about with McDonald's, the way you spun the homeless situation. go we're feeding more people like you're a mcdonald's spokesperson hey we're feeding more homeless than anybody in the world is you're like oh okay i didn't know that i'm sorry yeah well i mean they obviously would come in you know they have to pay for it they get paid in change a lot and we accept change so they come in and order food and they just oh wait so the homeless you're saying homeless people just purchase food. That's what I'm saying.

And you go, yeah, I think our clientele has the most homeless purchasers. That's not how I would word it. I thought you meant like a soup kitchen. We have the highest concentration of homeless people as customers. Yeah. No, that's what yours is. Yes. And the truth of it, that is extra fries and apple slices,

what you just did for mcdonald's it's a good spin man they should have you talking for them i'd love to yeah i would love it too i would love to talk to you yeah man i'm people get so mad they have the best coke did we talk about that on this or i talked about it uh you can look up they have the best soda of any it's the best soda i've ever tasted and there's you can look it up well i used to work at an advertising company i interned there in dallas and one of their clients was coke and they had some mcdonald's locations where their clients too and they would do independent taste tests yeah and people would prefer mcdonald's coke over canned coke you know

bottled it was the number one preferred coke product it was in a mcdonald's cup yes from a mcdonald's soda dispenser it's the it's why is it the best i think it's is it say it look yeah i'll look it up see if there's something that says it. I just talked about this with someone. They have the best Coke out of all soda. And it's like, why is it they have a special storage? Oh, my God. They've had a unique relationship. Let's mute that TV, huh?

Yeah. Yeah. There we go. All right. That just makes it. Yeah, they store makes it... Yeah. They store it differently. Yeah.

Wow. Good for them. McDonald's. Good for you, McDonald's. Yeah. I'll tell you what's going to kill it. They get those paper straws. Oh, yeah.

If they get those paper straws at McDonald's, that's going to kill their... So this article is arguing that a big reason why McDonald's Coke tastes better than other fast food chains is because the straw is wider so that more Coke tastes can hit your taste buds at once. I don't think it's as simple as that. That's one element of it.

That's one solution. That's this angle of when you worked at a restaurant, you have it... It's pretty rough. Oh. So Laura's crunched the numbers. She said it's pretty rough.

You want to come on? No, I'm just saying. I know, but we're not going to hear you. All right. $272 for the month of December 2019. Hold on. You got to just come talk to her. You got to at least just come talk to her.

Yep. Okay. This is my wife laura so 272 dollars for the month of december to 2019 which was as much as i could pull up here so 272 this is so this is how much i've spent on fast food this is like 27 a month? No, in one month. That's December. So that's kind of hard to say. That's like a fun month. Everybody's out and about. Everybody's out and about.

See, this is how I eat it because I have an enabler that will give me excuses as well. So it's like $3,000 a year? Some of it was Papa John's, so that could have been a party we had. Oh, some was Papa John's. Like $60,000. It's chain places. Yeah, chains. But if you scroll through that list. So that could have been a party we had. Some is Papa John's. It's chain places. Chains. But if you scroll through that list, you'll see Taco Bell, McDonald's.

That's both of us, to be fair. Yeah. Because that's our personal spending. Okay. So just 200 here. You can take this. So you're about three times the national average, right? If you think December is a typical month for you,

it sounds like you think it's a little higher than usual. If that's high, your low is not five. Your low is, you know, oh, man, $272 a month. That's not good. Yeah, it could be worse.'s that's my i know that's well the problem is the problem is too is like i feel like as people get older and as they make more money that your fast food budget shouldn't go up you know what i mean like you start maybe eating at home or you go to nicer restaurants or you do something yeah where you go we went somewhere that's like this organic the and i just i just pump it right back in i stay the same again like i said i'm the greatest average american that's ever lived i keep it as simple as possible you think it's gone up since you had a kid

or no you think that didn't affect it at all? I don't change. I don't think it's one way or the other. Do you do stuff different? Because you're like, no, I do everything the same. I roll the same way I roll. And it's just a matter of more things get thrown on. But it's a lot of... She got an email from... Oh, man. but it's a lot of, you know,

she got an email from, oh man. This is not good. Laura, did you ask Michelle? Yes. How much average, how much? So what is this? You asked her how many average people? I just said, I said to look at your business? So this is my...

Most fast food charges are personal. All right. Oh, man. That was all food and drink? It's saying. It's embarrassing. Yeah. Well, what is it?

It's embarrassing. What do you think it is? What are you asking? This is all food, but she's saying most looks to be fast food so that means as she scrolls quickly there's enough mcs that she can't really see the other ones you know what i mean like there's never a gap of not seeing like an mc windy you know yeah is like that. Is this for the year? This is for last year. 2019. 2019. I mean,

it's nuts. I'll tell you, when you're going to hear this number, you're going to be shocked that I can fit through that door. That's what I always, I always, my metabolism must be really good

because I should, I should not be able to get out of bed. I'll say, based on that average, I was going to go below $3,000, but since you're acting like it's for the years. $3,000 a month. $300 a month.

Yeah, so what do you say? I'll say $4,200. Yeah, I'd say a little under $5,000. All right. I would be rewarded if i got it to that number what was it it's more than double that number 10 000 i mean i wish it was 10 000 i wish it was a look. What is it? It's $13,000. $13,142.

Now, it's all food. Oh, Laura wants to come back in. That's all food and drink. And, you know, you're generous. You take people out to eat. So some of those could be if you're on a trip and you take the whole crew out to eat. Oh, on the road? To McDonald's?

I pay for everybody's meal. Every time you ever pay for a meal with me. No, I pay for every meal. Oh, that's not bad. That's still not good, but God,

that was a good spin. You went from being a degenerate to being a nice guy. Yeah. Scott's feeding the homeless to be fair. Yeah. I'm feeding the homeless. That is true that could be it

that's why it's 13,000 maybe you should email that back to Michelle so she doesn't judge me yeah that is true if I'm paying for because I pay for when we go on the road

I pay for everybody's meal which is yeah I mean over that of the one I don't do it was seven guys yeah it's a lot

every meal right it's a lot. Every meal. Right. It's a ton. So that would easily be $13,000. Yeah, because places like Whataburger, that's more expensive. That we paid our bus driver. I mean, yeah, that had to be 80 bucks

just going into eating fast food. So it turns out I'm a hero. I bet it's still not good. If 272 in December, that was probably mostly at home. I bet I'm hired. I'm hired than the average American if you just took me.

I hope so. I think so. Yeah. I mean, if I'm 13,000, but I'm paying for a bunch of guys to do it, that's going to easily add up. So that number is not as bad as just picturing me go walk in I think so. Yeah. I mean, if I'm $13,000, but I'm paying for a bunch of guys to do it, that's going to easily add up. So that number is not as bad as just picturing me go walk in.

$13,000, I mean, it's for just you. $13,000 is like more than $1,000 a month, dude. I mean, that's... Yeah. For food that's not... $250 a week. Yeah. That's a lot that's like 250 bucks a week is dude that's so much could i wonder if i could even eat that much it would be a struggle to spend that much in a year i would like to try it yeah i feel like

you could do it i think think I could do it. That was the McDonald's, Candy McDonald's, or what's his face? Supersize Me. Supersize Me. What's his name? Morgan Spurlock. Morgan Spurlock. I know him.

He's a great, awesome dude. Let me tell you something. Morgan Spurlock is the best. Good hang. Soder knew him, too. And just a fun, he's a fun dude man real fun dude but

and I told him I told him when I go when I watched your McDonald's thing and you said you couldn't eat McDonald's for every meal I was like

this is a joke I was like I basically do this I could do this and his problem was he was vegan and then he goes to McDonald's and starts eating so he throws up you're like yeah dude if your body was vegan. And then he goes to McDonald's and starts eating.

So he throws up. You're like, yeah, dude, if your body's healthy. Right. My body's been through the trenches, man. I mean, I, you know, we have scars. We can handle stuff. I don't get phased. If I eat McDonald's, I don't, you know.

It's phasing me more now as I get older. It definitely hurts more now candy's been hurting me i've eaten candy sometimes at night harper's still got her halloween candy and then i'll go through like and i mean about an hour later i'm like it feels like the drinking when you when you ever drink and you feel like you got too drunk and you're like why did i drink it's like you kind of got that feeling from candy. It's kind of crazy. You're laying in bed like. Yeah.

I'm like, God, what am I? Why do I do this to myself? What am I doing? That's like you always see our Harper, our daughter. She could be, she doesn't want to eat her dinner. She'll be like, my stomach, my tummy hurts. The stomach hurts. Blah, blah, blah.

All this stuff. And then at like about 30 minutes, I'm like, you want some ice cream? She's like, yeah. And I'm like, I thought it hurt. And then, all right. all right so we were talking about mcdonald's uh drinks right yeah a 2010 study found that 48 of soda fountains at fast food restaurants contain coliform bacteria commonly found in feces microbiologists from why would you read this i thought this was interesting. You don't want to hear that?

No. I don't want to ruin... This is a positive. We're building up fast food. Is there a good ending to that? I don't see how you twist that around into a good... Is there a good ending in that soda has feces in it? You'll be surprised. There's a good little twist at the end.

Actually, urine as well. We've been putting spins on stuff all day. Yeah, the homeless, they don't mind, they said. The homeless, yeah. Go and spin that, Aaron. There's feces in the soda. Yeah, well, that's because McDonald's workers aren't slave to the bone cleaning stuff all the time

they're actually working on getting their college degrees that's a garbage one that's a defensive like that's a guy that goes yeah i bet your mom is ugly like that that's gonna be your next thing you say to the reporter yeah well your mom's fat and you go all right man they have to go aaron used to be so good at this job. And you just, what happened? Our employees work harder than anywhere else, okay? You want to, oh, God. I mean, it was less than half. I'm bombing.

Yeah. Ooh, that's a tough one to spend. It's less than half places. That's positive. Not everywhere. 40%. Hey, it's only 40% has feces in it, and we're getting better every day. At least we're admitting to it. 40% of McDonaldces in it, and we're getting better every day. At least we're admitting to it.

40% of McDonald's? No, fast food total. Oh, fast food. That's everybody. Oh, exactly. What are you going to eat? Clued in Taco Bell? A bunch of animals over there?

They're going to bring us down. We're McDonald's. We don't do that stuff. That's like the pollution thing. Everybody gets mad at us for polluting you're like we're including china it's crazy that's what mcdonald says come on don't clue this into that stat um in 2013 there was a class action lawsuit against subway because their foot long subs weren't really 12 inches long do you guys know this i think i heard about this yeah

i had not heard about it. There was a half million dollar... Well, they had some other stuff too come up. Yeah. Yeah. I had to think about your mouth. A rough decade for Subway. I mean, yeah.

They were thrilled with this one. This was the one that they go, we'll take all your questions about this. Is it 12 inches long? You're like, yeah, oh yeah, I'll dive into it. I don't know, maybe not. I think we're lying actually about it like they just admit to like all of it we got feces in our drink things dude they go do you hear about that dude they think there's feces in the sound it's mainly ours probably in our so in our i wouldn't be willing

that they put this out to stop the other thing that they go just give them something because this is a perfect thing to get you just rolling. You think Subway created this lawsuit? Hey, you wouldn't surprise me. They're all behind it. Well, it showed that it was kind of a bogus lawsuit, but they did settle. It was basically 12 inches long, but sometimes it baked differently. Did they argue it was puffery? That's one of the few terms I remember from school.

Puffery. For mock trial? Not for marketing classes. The trial showed that the vast majority of bread was at least 12 inches long, but that sometimes the dough sticks bake differently. But the same amount of food was put on there, so they just sometimes bake differently. What are you even settling for?

If you have to settle that, you go, all right, we'll give you $80. How many of these subs did you get? They got $90 each, I think. Who? Every person that complained? Yeah. I thought I had that on here. It was something like they made almost nothing.

Yeah. What a ridiculous. Yeah. All right. Oh, KFC. You know how KFC has the 11 herbs and spices in their secret recipe? Oh, yeah. That's a real thing.

There are two separate plants that create half of the mixture, and then a computer does the mixing, ensuring that no single location has the full recipe. Wow. So they make sure nobody has it all, so they can't give it away. You think that is... The 11 herbs on the chicken. Yeah, whatever the chicken is.

I'll be honest with you. I don't know. I like their chicken, but I don't think it's good enough that you need to hide this. That's what I was saying. I feel like it's all for appearances at this point. Yeah.

Because if somebody found KFC's, they're just going to start another chicken. What are they going to do? Well, you can start selling KFC. I know, but i don't think anybody is going oh let's make kfc's chicken i don't you know like that popeye's chicken sandwich the new chicken sandwich pot i we had that didn't we have that on the bus were you with me or i don't think i was uh we stopped and had it on the road somewhere i'm just not the most enormous chicken fan i'm not a big you know uh so chicken is just

not my thing and but i didn't think it was i mean it was great it was good like bad it wasn't like you were like i gotta go get another one now yeah you know and so yeah kfc if you got rid of i mean if you knew what they yeah it's it's more it's more just like, it's cool. No one knows it. Right. Who knows? Yeah. But yeah, just the top people, I guess.

Yeah. I wonder if there was a point in history where like McDonald's employees were trying to sneak in and Dave, well, that's where, that's probably where you're protecting. That actually could be something. If say someone gets a McDonald's fries and you figure their fries out,

uh, that's, that could be a problem. Their fries are so good. If you just know, If, say, someone gets McDonald's fries and you figure their fries out, that could be a problem. Their fries are so good. If you just know. Because look at In-N-Out. In-N-Out, I think their fries are terrible. They have shoestring fries? Yeah.

Yeah. Like Steak and Shake, the real thin ones. Yeah, In-N-Out's just, I don't like their fries. I think they're soft. They're just, you know. I don't know. I don't think they're good. And're soft they're just you know i don't know they just i don't think they're good and they had fries you gotta think that's their their burgers are so good that if they had fries it would be a problem and they can't they can't get it all together yeah but mcdonald's can't well we can get into this later i think in and outs well we're doing

a fast food episode so this would be the time time i don't know if we're gonna because this is a little bit of a pivot from what i just think in and out is this is my big theory on fast food places yeah i mean this would be i mean it's unbelievable you're gonna hold out on this not from not from the whole everybody see what i have to deal with as the my two co-hosts of this podcast one undermines everything that i do and the other one holds out on the topics that we're talking about and goes i don't get in too much detail but i got a great fast food store i'll tell you later on uh it's unbelievable and yeah don't think i'm bringing everything to the table yeah and i've got a bunch of just you know not average americans this is

what got me thinking about it because there's a whataburger opening in nashville yeah and people are very excited about it because there aren't many whataburgers they're very you know they're in certain locations they're not everywhere i just think when it comes to fast food people confuse scarcity with quality like in and out is okay i don't think it's as good as everybody says it is i think if there were only one mcdonald's i think people would be raving about it yes i think people would say when you go to nashville you have to try the big mac dude it's unbelievable yeah but they're on every corner so we take it for granted yeah i'm saying if in and out expands and they're in and outs on every corner we would not be talking about them the way we talk about i think you talk about them like whataburger like you said like whataburger

you don't really talk about i mean the reason you go to whataburger is because you're not from that town i mean you're going to go to it if you're in the town because you're hungry at midnight right but you're not gonna make a special trip to it but if you're not we ate at whataburger after the last show and that was kind of fun because we don't have one right and so it was like oh let's all go to whataburger but it's a jack-in-the-box it's a you know it's this kind of thing but i that's a great i think that's a great thing that's exactly right i mean mcdonald's is so good that they're taken for granted yeah that you think i mean if you go i ate mcdon McDonald's in Dubai. At the Dubai's airport,

they had a McDonald's and everybody thinks I'm crazy. Why would you not go try their McDonald's? And it's a little different. It was a little different. It just, something was different.

Their meat, everything, it was just something was kind of different. But it was fun to go try it to be like, I'm going to go get McDonald's in Dubai.

Yeah. And everybody's like, how stupid are you? You're going to even, you go to Dubai and you only eat McDonald's? Yeah, that's the main point. Like, I want to go get McDonald's in Dubai. And everyone's like, how stupid are you? You go to Dubai and you only eat McDonald's? Yeah, that's the main point. I want to go see the difference of that. That's why I went.

Yeah, what, Dubai food? What is their food? I don't know what their food is. I'm at an airport too, by the way. I'm not eating at some special restaurant. Yeah. If you are anywhere in the continental United States, you are never more than 115 miles away from a McDonald's. Wow.

And they're never more from five spiders. Can you believe that? And there's only one place where it's even that far. That's in South Dakota. The rest, if it wasn't for that place, you'd be less than a hundred miles at all times. So say this again.

You're never more than 115 miles away from McDonald's in the continental U.S. And the only place that is more than a hundred miles away is an empty plane in South Dakota. So there's one place in South Dakota. You're 115 miles away. If it wasn't for that one, you'd be less than a hundred miles from anywhere in the U.S. They should just put one there

just so they can change this thing. You're never, you know. Put one in the middle of nowhere? Put one in the middle of nowhere where they go, you're never 100. That should be on their slogan. I mean, that's an amazing thing to say. Instead of a billion served.

Instead of a billion served, which is crazy but just say you're never within 100 like that's our that's our goal to you is to go when you're never going to get stuck out of somewhere that you can where you're 100 miles away if you're in the middle of alaska they're like well not alaska well we weren't kind of we were just talking about the middle part of this but that's an amazing thing that McDonald's. Yeah, McDonald's, you're right. They get, that's our first, that is, my jokes about mom and pop.

McDonald's is the first mom and pop that did amazing. They're Michael Jordan. What is the difference between them and Michael Jordan? Nothing. Yeah. There's nothing. They started out from nothing. This guy started it and then blew up and

they're all over the world why would you not celebrate that story of success i remember when we saw the movie the founder yeah and we saw it separately but we talked about it and michael keaton plays it and you're like why is he being considered a bad guy in this movie like he did something unbelievable this guy's a genius yeah you remember that yeah why was he a bad guy in this movie like he did something unbelievable he's got some genius yeah you remember that yeah why was he a bad guy because he's they thought he stole something yeah he like stole from mcdonald brothers and kind of i can't remember exactly but misled them yeah i guess yeah i guess he stole something but i don't understand but he had that grand idea of franchising it and just much bigger ideas than they had. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It was like it's people holding you back, which I agree with. I think you don't need people in your life that hold you back, that just sit there. Because it is. No one – I've got a huge philosophy with this idea. If someone's trying to take something, if you're doing something, look, you're not doing an hourly job, an hourly wage job.

You don't work at Verizon. I talk about this a lot with us, but you don't, we're doing something that we're lucky to get to do this. Every time we come up here and record this podcast, we are lucky that we get to record this podcast. Everybody that films this podcast, you're lucky that you're all doing a job that's not,

we're not working, we're not digging a ditch. We're doing something that we actually kind of love and we get to kind of get to do. And so you need to, so if anybody, I always say, if you do something, if anything, people that will hold you back will be the people closest to you. Those are the ones that stop any kind of creativity because they can't wrap their head around being any farther than they are. And so like with that McDonald's, I don't know the camera, the whole story, but with that, a guy going, we should do this. We should expand. We should be, we can be what we became today. You have someone that goes, I don't want to be that. And that's fine. That person doesn't want to be that, but then you got to get, then you got to

get out of the way. Or if you're going to get, or get fired truthfully, or do you have probably what happened to happen? Because you just go, you're going to ruin everything. Cause if you stop the motivation to do something or the desire, I mean, you're the, you're the worst person ever to just put it to go. Now that's just, I don't want, we should know. I don't want to do that that's a lot of work we're doing fine here that stuff is i i think gigantic so i am on board yeah i was surprised that there's not i would have just guessed mcdonald's had the most locations in the world but they're second you might guess first i know it because i've looked this up before but do you know nate yeah do you have a guest name yeah i'm. I'm going to do the McDonald's.

They have almost twice as much as McDonald's, right? I mean, aren't they number one by a big margin? Oh, it's close. Not according to Wikipedia. Oh, that is the best source. What is the most? Yeah, like I would have guessed McDonald's had by far the most locations, but they're second.

The second. Is it like we're never going to guess it? No, it's something you would think of. Okay. What is the most? I will say, I'll say Subway. That's right. I might have known that.

Subway has 42,600 locations. McDonald's has 38,695. Subway is a little bit easier to throw in a closet. I mean, yeah. You know, Subway's a... Yep. We could have Subway in this house, and you might not even know about it. I mean, you could just be like, there's a Subway back there?

Yeah, yeah. That back room is a Subway. You know, I mean, honestly, you could throw a Subway anywhere. Yeah. It's super easy. You don't even need a real kitchen, right? You just kind of have everything just right there. You need a walkway.

I think your average American hallway, you could have a subway. You go to someone's house, is that a subway? Yeah. There's so many subways just tucked in the back of a gross gas station. They're just back there. Oh, yeah. Toss them up. There's a ton.

The best hot dog I ever had wasn't a subway, but it was at a gas station in They're just back there. Oh, yeah. Tossing up. There's a ton. The best hot dog I ever had, it wasn't in Subway, but it was at a gas station in Knoxville, Tennessee. If someone listening knows what I'm talking about, it was like you drove over the river and there was a gas station to the right.

I actually could ask my buddy, P.E. Jeremy, that I would go with him and his brother, Kevin. And there was a gas station and you would go in there late at night and get hot dogs and I remember I just it's the only food I think I've eaten that I've remembered I even try to remember food I try to go someone I'm like this is really good and I try to remember it and I just don't ever remember it I don't think I care

but I remember that hot dog wow and i remember i go this is the best hot dog i've ever had in my life and i wanted to go back now put all that with my taste and we're college kids probably drinking and you know the nonsense that would make you walk into a gas station go i'll take a hot dog and go this is the best hot dog. I've had pizza like that, too, somewhere in Chicago. But again, anytime I've ever said that, it was north of midnight. You almost don't want to try it again. You know? Yeah. You'd rather just live on.

I think the hot dog place closed down. Oh, yeah? The gas station hot dog place closed down. If anybody knows, yeah, hit us up. Subway's menu has nearly 38 million total possible combinations. That's crazy. Subway's menu? Yeah.

I don't know how to come up with that. That's a lot. That's like a deck of cards, right? There's just all the... I don't know what that means. Different, yeah. I need to stop trying to put spins on stuff, dude. I know.

You're trying to. The spin machine is slowing down. It's always got to be something else. You're like, oh, that's like, I don't know. Maybe it's like it is what it is, man. Maybe it's a Subway menu. Maybe that's just, is that not enough for a menu? Not everything needs a spin.

That's what I'm figuring. Yeah. That's just a good fact. That's a good spin. Not everything needs a spin. Denny's is open 24 7 they finally decided to close for a day in 1988 to give employees a day off but they had no locks on the doors because they'd never closed so they had to hire locksmiths to come in install locks on all their buildings wow wait so they tried to they they closed just one day uh i said to give the employees a day off, so I assumed just one day.

I mean, talk about a horribly run place to go, you know what? We want everybody to get a day off. And then, so we only did it one day. Yeah. Apparently, there's not been other days, right? According one day. Yeah. Apparently there's not been other days. Right? According to this. Yeah.

There's been one day in 1988. All the Denny's wanted to give their employees that one day off. By the way, we're going to work. What's our work schedule going to look like? What's it going to look like? You're going to work. You're never going to close. Except for one day over 50 years.

Wow. But we're going to give you that. Are you like, well, that's nice. We're going to stagger the day? No, no, no. Everybody gets that same day. And then we're back and rolling. And then they go, well, we don't do it and how about then they go well

let's just i don't know well let's get a locksmith i mean this this probably costs them that's why they can't close because they're making businesses decisions like that you want to what you want to give your whole store is get no revenue that one day and you're gonna spend money because you got to go yeah get doors. I thought Waffle House doesn't have locks on their door either, right? Oh, I don't know. I thought that's you. Waffle House, supposedly, the key, or maybe they have a lock,

but you can only lock from the inside. There's no key. And so supposedly on a Waffle House, when they build the house, they put the key in the cement in front of the door because the door will never be locked. And you can lock from the inside in case, as you should, because if something, you know, stuff happens, you do not let someone in. Waffle houses, doesn't FEMA use Waffle House reopening

as like an indicator of when a hurricane hits a city? They look at when Waffle House is reopened to determine when the city's back. It's an city, they look at when Waffle House is reopened to determine when the city's back. It's an actual metric they look at. I would hope that there's something more. I mean, they're looking at other stuff too. But maybe, no, I mean, you definitely would think,

are they going to be open? I remember I went to, like a few months ago, to a Waffle House in the middle of nowhere, Georgia, and they were takeout only. And that was the first time I was like, man, this pandemic is pretty serious, dude. The Waffle House. The Waffle House. The Waffle House in Georgia won't let me sit down. Like, wow.

Yeah. They turned that around quick though, right? What do you mean? That you could go inside. I think they're probably. Yeah, right. Well, they're probably, they're probably, yeah, right.

Well, they, they got, don't they have like stuff up? Yeah. Plastic sheets hanging down. Yeah. I think they, like they,

you know, Walfouse is like, yeah, we're not going to, you know, it's a good, it's a good system. They go,

we're, we're all right. You throw something our way. We're always, they go, we're always going to be open. Well, here's this thing that we're going to throw at you. You go, like I said, we're always going to be open. Here's this thing that we're going to throw at you.

Like I said, we're always going to be open. We'll figure it out. I didn't know Denny's was... I never thought about them being open every day. There's no Denny's in Tennessee, I don't think. There's a lot of huddle houses. I've never been to a huddle house.

It's similar to Waffle House. I did a weekend once where I went to IHOP, Waffle House, and Denny's, back-to-back-to-back nights. It was a lonely weekend. According to Waffle House's very simple operational philosophy, get open. That's a good, it doesn't matter, just get open. Yeah. According to the book Fast Food Nation,

96% of children worldwide recognize Ronald McDonald, making him the most recognizable fictional character in the world. They also said 88% of people recognize the golden arches of McDonald's, while only 54% recognize the Christian cross. I would think Ronald McDonald, I wouldn't think he would be so recognized. I mean, you gotta think about it. How many times did you see Ronald McDonald?

I didn't even know he was still a thing. I was thinking about that, but we're not watching Nickelodeon. I'm sure he's still popping up in commercials on those channels. Maybe. Yeah, I mean, maybe he's in other commercials. I just don't think,

I don't ever remember him even as a kid. I don't remember. The arches are what, the M is what you would know. That's what, to me, would be their biggest thing. Ronald McDonald came to my school and taught us how to use a traffic light. I have a weird memory of that. Yeah. Being a kid in the Alabama Ronald McDonald,

like the top Ronald McDonald in mcdonald in the state of alabama how to build one no he was just teaching how to use the traffic he came in to go ronald mcdonald told us how to use the traffic like i would like put it together he's just what the colors you go to an electrical electrical what's green school go yeah i went to a technical he went to a trade school vocational kindergarten trade school for elementary. A vocational kindergarten class. Yeah. He taught us what the colors mean. I remember he said yellow means slow down.

And I've always, every time I see a traffic light, I think about, that's not really a good description of what yellow means. Yeah. It is slow down. Caution. But it's like prepare for a stop. Yeah. It's not just, hey, go slower. Well, it's actually the stop or speed up for a stop yeah it's not just hey go slower well it's

actually the most anxiety driven one it's it's get yay make a decision pick it up you're either you're either you're either stopping or you got to go 100 miles an hour through this but you got to choose that's what ronald mcdonald that. Yellow is get on it. You know what I mean, kids? And y'all are all in there as you're learning. Here's how you use a traffic light. When you build your town, you will need these traffic lights to make people stop, slow down, or go. I don't remember.

That wasn't the main reason he was there it wasn't like he just had a traffic light seminar but he was there doing hey ronald we got a gig for you he's like oh god he goes how long is it gonna be he's like i don't know what are you gonna do he goes i'll do the traffic light thing and then i'm gonna go and then he goes all right. And he's going to be, he goes, should I park? Leave the car running. I'm going to go tell these dopey children. Green means go. Yellow means slow down.

And red means stop. And I'm going to impact these idiot kids' lives more than anything that they will ever see with just being in their elementary school for five minutes. Yeah, man. And it did. And it did. Mm-hmm. That's how, that's what he knows

he walks around with. Yeah. The clout that he goes, I know what I bring to the table. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't even have

to put his cigarette out. He lit it. He put it in there and they go, you're going to put that out he goes i'll be back before it even i'm still smoking it and he he flicks it on the ground and then picks it back up and gets in the car as the guy drives him as you know as the hamburglar drives away grimace his grimace.

He goes, God, you're so quick. And then he, Ronald McDonald's squished because he's so big. And he's just kind of squished to the side. He has to have the window down at all times. Let's get out of here. Let's hit it, man. What'd you do? I taught those kids, taught them how to use the traffic light.

Use the traffic light? That's weird. Okay. He goes, yeah, that's what I bring to the table. I teach them how to use the traffic light use the traffic light that's weird okay he goes yeah that's what i bring to i teach him how to use it he's all right what you want to do kids you want to you got to shimmy up this pole teach it how to install it i mean just all right you need a cherry picker you gotta get one of those and you're gonna go do i need one of these ha ha no you used to depends on how big the town you're gonna build is growing up how old were y'all did y'all have that jacket on and that's why you thought y'all were there to fix stuff you're just a bunch of skinner gardens wearing that brown jacket just going oh wow a bunch of Skinner Gardens wearing that brown jacket. Just going, oh, wow, a bunch of young fathers here today.

Yeah. Well, I can assure you guys want to hear how to use a traffic light. He just read the room, maybe. As he walked in, he just read it and just goes, this doesn't. Called an audible? He calls an audible because I'm not going to waste these kids' times on how a traffic light works. They'd like to know how to build one that's kindergarten i think maybe it couldn't be a garden couldn't have been much older than that

that seems like a weird thing to all right kids and i don't think it was 10 years we start driving yeah but it works is that where you heard the horse whoa story for the first time. Did Ronald say that too? Maybe dude honestly. Is that where he goes? Guys did you know when they first drove cars this was before people used traffic lights they would when they slow down a car they go whoa

and then you're like whoa. Why did they do that? Because they used to ride horses. Oh. Alright. Green means go. Yellow means All right. Green means go. Yellow means slow down. Red means stop. I'm Ronald McDonald.

Lights a cigarette. Lights a cigarette. It walks out. I love it. You want another fun fact? Yep. 2014 ad by Arby's. You guys eat at Arby's?

Yeah. You're an Arby's guy, Nate? Oh, yeah. I don't get get uh what i get i change their bun up i get the beef and cheddar but i don't like their bun with the onions not a big onion fan yeah i've noticed so and then so i switch i say can you switch the bun up and they don't they don't ever really get that upset about it yeah so i think it happens a lot they're not really in a position to be snobby about it you know you think they would you could hear some annoyance okay you know it's like uh you know when you ask for

a milkshake at mcdonald's sometimes it's late and they're like uh they're like furious a jamocha shake at arby's is you had that it's called jamocha shake oh it's like a coffee yeah you know i i never liked coffee tasting stuff until i started drinking coffee when i i can handle it but when i when i get a dessert i want full-on chocolate what about arby's right oh well they did a photoshop sandwich with every meat they had and people asked for it so much they had to put it on the menu it's called arby's meat mountain i remember the arby's next to my house started serving venison. And I never felt comfortable getting that. That Meat Mountain sandwich is pretty, I mean, I don't know how you eat that.

So someone photoshopped that sandwich? They did, just to advertise. And then people kept asking for it, so they had to put it on the menu. Yeah, why would they i mean what are these businesses i mean what how do you run a business and go hey yeah people keep asking for the sandwich that we look like we're trying to sell and they're like really how stupid are these people to think that could be a real sandwich? And they go, I don't know, but they think it is.

All right, well, we have this stuff. Like, they don't think if you want to do a fake picture, then you got to put something we don't sell in there. Right. Yeah. You know, like a live fish. Put something so ridiculous in there. Right.

A goldfish is in there. A goldfish is in there? That can't be real. That's what in there? That can't be real. That's what someone says. That can't be real. I bet it's real. You know what hot dogs are made out of? Like, they just say, like, what?

They, they're, but they, yeah. All right, we're going to do it. They added fish to it. See, they do. They did a poll of every state in the country, what the most popular fast food restaurant was during the quarantine. See, they do. There you go. They did a poll of every state in the country, what the most popular fast food restaurant was during the quarantine. And it's not McDonald's.

Yeah. You want to guess for like Tennessee at least? Fast food in Tennessee, Jack in the Box? During the quarantine. That's a good guess. But this is during the quarantine. So it's not all the time, but I guess in this summer they did it. Sonic?

Good guess. That's right. Sonic. Look at that that map sonic kind of dominated i never trust these things well i know they always like they usually pick as one that you're like i didn't know that place was into yeah like long john silver yeah and you're like that's not it i saw i love sonic i go to sonic a lot uh why do you think they did uniquely well during the quarantine? Because it's outside. And you're in a car and you order outside. You're outside in a drive-thru, too.

That doesn't even make sense. But it's... You're... I mean, that's just... You're in your car in a drive-thru. You're asking, why do you think Sonic uniquely would do good? What is unique about Sonic to begin with? I understand what's unique about Sonic.

The logic behind it. I'm saying the logic doesn't... People want to go do something the logic doesn't follow that it's more safe than a regular restaurant. People want to go do something. That's a place you can't just, at a drive-thru, you're not going to pull over and park in a parking spot and eat. Why not? You can still eat in your car. People are not truck drivers,

and they're not just a bunch of animals trying to hide food from their family because they're embarrassed to eat as much McDonald's as they do so they don't pull off to the target back end of a target parking lot and eat all their McDonald's and then go throw it away in the trash can and come home like they didn't eat. Okay. People are going – Sonic is an experience. You go through the drive-thru.

I mean, you pull into the thing and they they pull up to your car and but it's no it's no more safe it's not about the safe it has nothing to do with safety it's about going out to eat that's you go eat at sonic it's like we're gonna go eat in the car and you feel normal that's fair nobody feels normal getting mcdonald's at a drive-thru and then taking a quick right into a parking spot. I think people are more comfortable doing that than you think. I don't think they're comfortable doing it. I think they're doing it because they don't want...

I've done it. I don't do it. When I do it, if I do it, I'm trying to hide eating my bad. Yeah. I don't pull right there in McDonald's. I feel very uncomfortable there. I go to a different parking lot. You go to like a mall parking lot or a grocery store parking lot.

You park way in the back. And you sit there and you can devour your food. You know, when you're eating your food, you're focused. It's so easy for someone. You look up and then you've been, someone's been watching you like a zoo animal for, you know, just some, you know, families like, what are you doing? It's always a guy by himself.

I've done it. No women do that. That's probably... I don't know. No, I don't think anybody women do it. But apparently they have gigantic hips. We figured out on this podcast. Laura does it.

There you go. You eat fast food at a restaurant at a yeah if you're eating but not like yeah

exactly if you eat me and we could be eating together babe if you even run into each other someday. Yeah.

In the same parking lot? Yeah. The most popular fast food items, probably what you think, number one. Anybody want to guess? Let me just tell you. A double cheeseburger? No, no. Fast food items?

I mean, Big Mac or something? Big Mac's number two. Oh. What's number one? Oh, is it Quarter Pounder? No.. Big Mac's number two. Oh. What's number one? Oh, is it Quarter Pounder? No. Is it McDonald's? Yep.

Just an individual item. Just a cheese? Yep. The fries? McDonald's fries number one. Big Mac number two. Happy Meal number three. Yeah.

Then KFC original recipe chicken. Yeah. Subway Italian BMT. Okay. The Whopper's number eight. I always get a Junior. What I do at Burger King, I go Junior Whopper's number eight. I always get a Junior. What I do at Burger King, I go Junior Whopper. I don't like the Burger King's fries.

So two Junior Whoppers, no onion, no tomato, medium Diet Coke. And you get a medium because medium is now the old large. Enormous, yeah. And so I just like that. I try to get off. I don't want the big drink. Every time I go, I go, what's? I'll even sometimes they'll be like, well, you've paid for a large. And I go, but I don't want the big just drink every time i go i just i go what's i'll even sometimes they're like well you've paid for a large and i go but i don't it's i you know it's a cup that you when

you grab it like the top always goes off right it's it's just not connected good a styrofoam cup at mcdonald's is the best all right so i think you'll like this nate you want this to be the last one yeah uh yeah wait i gotta do to do something at 3.30. Anybody cares about to do an interview morning something? Who am I doing? You can listen to it. God, who is it? Woody and something?

Woody and Jim? No, it's for Anaheim. For my one night only dates in Anaheim and San Diego, December 5th and 6th. I got to do just an interview promoting that show. Do I have time for this? Yeah, it's at 3.30. Okay.

Rashid Zahid created a new site called makebroken.com, which provides a map of McDonald's locations and little dots that indicate if their ice cream machines are working or not. Oh, man. It tries to order an ice cream sundae online every 30 minutes and changes the color of the dot based on whether it's marked as available or unavailable. He currently places an order worth $18,752 every minute at every McDonald's in the U.S.

to figure out which one have broken ice cream machines. Wow. He does it online. Yeah. And then he just cancels the order? I guess so. I guess so. Or he's really sinking his life savings.

What a service this guy is providing. I mean, I am going to be on this website a ton. Dude, that's so funny. McDonald's, their ice cream machines are always broken. And they're not broken. There's no way. What I heard, and I had a buddy that worked at McDonald's for a while. He told me that that's what they said when they had already cleaned it.

It's a whole thing to clean it. They're just like, it's broke. Yeah. Yes. It happens at night when the manager's gone. Yeah. When the manager leaves, that's when all this stuff breaks. McDonald's said they like this.

They know they have this reputation, and they're working on trying to improve it but they they encourage this they encourage this guy doing this yeah because i mean because the thing's not getting it's not like he's not making the the thing so you could you could do it now it's everywhere it looks like it eight and a half percent of all% of all McDonald's ice cream machines are broken right now. We would have said a lot higher, wouldn't we? Oh, in Baltimore. Probably late at night. Where's Nashville?

Can you go to Nashville? Yeah, we're down in Nashville. Oh, you are? So what does it say in Nashville? The one out by Old Hickory in Hermitage is always broken. Currently, oh, so right now, is this saying in this area? No, this is nationwide.

Nationwide, 8% of them are broken. In Boston, 22% of the ice cream machines are broken. Let's go up to Boston. We'll see what's going on. That's crazy. San Francisco,

right now, right now, it is 3 p.m. Central right now. 3 p.m. Central. So in San Francisco, it is 3 p.m. Central right now. 3 p.m. Central. So in San Francisco, it is lunchtime. And 20% of their ice cream machines are broken. Seattle, 13%. Houston, 11%.

San Jose, 11.11%. That's kind of weird. San Jose, you know, that's crazy, dude. Yeah. That's such a good idea. That's so Mc's crazy. Yeah. That's such a good idea. That's so McBroken. Yeah. You go to McBroken.com.

Good for that guy. Yeah. There's like stuff like that. Like someone's just like, oh, I'll fix it. Does this guy get money? I don't think so. I think he just did it for himself. He's got a link to his Twitter.

Yeah. And no, he doesn't have any solicitation for money or anything on there. Some people are just, I mean, what a service. What a service. What a servant he is. That is a good service. Not a what a servant that is a good service yeah yeah not a servant yeah but yeah just a good dude some people are just broken.com yes uh is there was there any one more fun that was that's basically it uh i mean there's a bunch more on here but uh oh uh

just read through some real okay i just saw one just saw one, then I just lost it. Oh, the Impossible Burger. You guys had Impossible Burger? I have. How was it? It was okay. Anyway, it was created by a Stanford biochemistry professor. They took an 18-month sabbatical, him and another guy, and they wanted to figure it out, so they created this company in 2011.

Now a lot of restaurants are putting it in there. I think, what is is it it's not a burger it's meat based yeah burger plant-based i mean i'm sorry plant-based but it looks it looks and tastes like a whopper yeah yeah okay yeah yeah uh there's iced coffee with starbucks iced coffee lawsuit oh really customers were complaining that they weren't getting their full 24-ounce iced coffee because of the ice in it. They took it to court, and the judge said, if a child can figure out that when you put ice in a drink, you're not going to get the same amount of ounce, you should be able to reasonably know you're not going to get the same amount.

So he said it's a frivolous lawsuit. Yeah, because they want... Yeah, I mean, what they do is they do it, then they put the ice in. Yeah, ask for no ice. Or get a venti. Yeah. You size up because you're going to lose it. Yeah, or ask for no ice, but that's the point of the drink.

And they go, then that's the point of everything. What do you want? What are we doing here? A Pizza Hut pizza was delivered to the International Space Station, and they had to add extra salt and spices because you lose sensitivity in your taste buds in outer space. So how did they send it up there? It was in 2001, so maybe we had the space shuttle then. I don't know.

Elon Musk. Filet-O-Fish. Aaron, do you know how this was created? This was created probably for Catholics during Lent. That is correct. Because that's the only time we ate it. That is correct. And then it became popular, so it stayed on the menu.

I'm a huge Filet-O-Fish fan. Really? Really. I love it. I think that it's the best bread. It's very soft bread. Yeah. It's one I can order without making changes.

I like finding something to order. don't have to i don't have to say no onions no onions and flail fish i just say just give me a flail fish how it comes straight up straight up i love i love it i love saying straight the relief of just going and i but i'm a big fan pharrell williams auctioned off his or sold his his hat on eBay to raise money for charity, and Arby's bought it for $44,000, because it looks like their Arby's hat. Oh, interesting. In Southern California, when it rains, Subway will give you a free six-inch sub or hot soup if you purchase a foot-long sub and drink. It's dubbed the Rainy Day Special, I guess because it never rains there. Where?

In Southern California. Oh, really? Yeah. That's dubbed the Rainy Day Special. I guess because it never rains there. Where? In Southern California. Oh, really? Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. Arby's bought it? Okay. There's a fake lawsuit. A woman put a fingertip in a Wendy's chili. I've heard that. Yeah.

Do you want to hear this? No. Somebody found a finger in a bowl of chili from Wendy's? It was fake. She planted it herself. Was it a real finger? Yeah. Her husband's co-worker cut his finger off or something at the factory,

like accidentally, and then they bought it from him. He said, hey, I mean. I like to think they've been waiting to do that. They're like, if we just come up. I just want to be a part of that whole conversation. There's no way they planned it. It just goes. She goes, ah, you know, Charlie cut his finger off today.

Hey, all right. Look, I just had a crazy idea. Do you think he would sell us that? Like the fact that they probably approached him. Yeah. I would think in that situation, you could just ask for the finger. Because it's such finger because it's such a it's unprecedented what's the is that the word right unprecedented it's an unprecedented

situation that you could go can i just have the finger i'll throw that away for you dude yeah yeah yeah let me just have the finger instead of going but they go no that's not i will buy the finger from you can i buy the finger from you and then the guy's like i don't i don't know i mean how much i don't let me talk to my wife no no no dude don't get all these people involved do you need the finger are you going to use it what are you gonna do with it he goes i guess and the guy's like i guess nothing you know i mean i'm not putting it back on then what are we even talking about man just just hand me the finger what do you want how much you want for that finger he's like i don't i don't know i don't know what i can sell this finger

you know i mean that's honestly you can't how much hey how much with the finger how much for the finger he goes how much would you charge for part of your finger what do you think it is the whole figure no not the whole finger oh just a couple hundred bucks you think it is? The whole finger? No, not the whole finger. Oh, just a couple hundred bucks. You think a couple hundred bucks? Yeah. I'd be more than that, I think. I think you gotta,

that thing you gotta look to go, I wanna go do something fun. Yeah. Thousand dollars. Thousand dollars. Thousand dollars for a finger. That's a lot.

You think it's a lot? It's unprecedented. Yeah, me too. Yeah, alright. Alright, it's a lot? It's unprecedented. Yeah, me too. All right. All right. That's it. Thank you guys again for listening as always.

Make sure you rate all that kind of fun stuff. Anybody, y'all do any shows or anything? I'm at Zany's tonight, but that probably didn't help with this. You want to have Laura on the show? Oh, yes. So you came on today, so you talked. So we've been asking a lot for my wife to come on people want to ask her questions and stuff like that so we uh my wife will be on the show next week so if you have any questions that you wanted uh to ask her about me or whatever uh hit up hit

up you know nateland at natebargetzi.com or the same way we've been doing it. Yeah. And we can go through all those questions and all that stuff. So my wife, Laura Bargetzi,

will be on the show next week. All right. And yeah, we'll see. We might divorce after. See what happens. At least we might get

the ball rolling. All right. Thank you guys. We love you. Talk to you next week. Bye. Thanks everybody for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes,

Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast. Hey, I'm Jillian. And I'm Patrick.

And together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed. If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries, you might be interested in our show because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching. We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine. We're talking the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker, the Ted Bundy tapes. What else?

The Turpin 13. Yes. The amazing sisters who basically tell the story. We're talking the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker, the Ted Bundy tapes. What else? The Turpin 13. Yes. With the amazing sisters who basically tell the story. The girl in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about

with your friends. We're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about that stuff with. Yeah. We're True Crime Obsessed Podcast. Stitch us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,

or wherever you listen.