The Nateland Podcast - 23: #23 | Songs

Episode Date: July 8, 2026

This week, Aaron interviews Dusty for a job, the guys share stories of not smelling their best, and Dusty writes a number 1 hit on the spot as they discuss Songs. IQ BAR- Text PUBLIC to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. Warby Parker: WarbyParker.com/NATELANDOur listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off any additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/NATELAND — and using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #adPestie: https://pestie.com/NATEFix your bug problem before it gets worse. Go to https://pestie.com/NATE for 10% off your order. Square: square.com/go/nate!Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/nate! #squarepod #ad

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the public figures podcast. The hottest new podcast in the world. Based on what? Just gut feeling? Yeah, I mean, it's a hot podcast. Brian's wearing the shirt. I'm Dusty Sleigh. What are your co-hosts?

And I'm here with my other co-host, Brian Bates. Hello. And Aaron Weber. Good to see it, ladies and gentlemen. And we're fired up. I'm drinking in my mug here. I got a little IQ bar mix. Yeah.

And I'm feeling good. Mm-hmm. Oh. And it hits you that quick. I think it does. A couple sips in. Couple sips in. You're already reaping the benefits. Yeah.

And it does hit you fast. And I feel good. I feel very good. Mm-hmm. And I'm happy to be back with you guys. That's right. We're doing two episodes in one day. No need to say it, but I just want to say it.

That's why I'm wearing the same shirt. Why are we doing two? Same day. Well, because I told everyone that I was going to be going out of town for July 4th and may not be here. Wow. What for? For work? For, to see my family.

On a holiday? Well. That's crazy. It is crazy. Oh, my goodness. I don't celebrate it, but. What does celebrate mean to you? Well, I don't like fireworks anymore.

Okay. And just to celebrate something in general. What do you think it means? I think it means to. you know, go over the top about something. Like if your Netflix did really well, you're special or...

Well, I celebrated whether it goes well or not. Yeah. Yeah. But I think you can celebrate, you know, personal achievements. Okay. So we had to work Memorial Day because Dusty insisted that we not do tape two the week before. And now he wants to be off July 6th, which he ended up

not taking, by the way. And here we are. I'm difficult to work with. Well, that is true. Well, I appreciate you guys. But my wife took a little bit of a trip with the kids. Okay. And, you know, we got a baby. And I don't think she's necessarily up for doing a five-hour trip after doing an hour trip.

So we're not going to do it. You should offer to drive this time. Well, I would drive. I don't like to ride in the car when my wife drives. She's not a bad driver. She's better than me in a lot of ways. But, you know, I feel like... Yeah, I believe that.

You're aggressive. What's the seating arrangement in the car when the five of you are riding? Hannah's in the back seat. Okay. A very back. I have the passenger seat for just, you know, personal things of mine. Cigars. Yeah.

How many rows do you have your car? Well, the car has three rows. Oh, okay. But no, it's me and my wife in the front, and then just the baby in the second row. Okay. And then the two kids in the very back. All car seats still?

All car seats. Yeah. Okay. If it weren't our car seats, we could do a little different arrangement. So the two older kids kind of police each other in the back there? Yeah. They're good.

And they're facing the baby. Yeah. Yeah. But the newborn is not facing backwards still. Yes. Do you have a little mirror or something like that? No. The kid doesn't get to see us.

But Daisy can report. It's more about you seeing the kid. Yeah. The kid. The baby thinks that we've abandoned him the whole time we drive. I've got a car seat that can spin around 360 degrees. Wow. So we keep it facing backwards for now.

I think, I don't know when the. official age or weight is where you can flip her around. Yeah. But every now and then, I go, if I got 100 yards to drive, I do flip it around and let her look forward. Yeah. And you can just see it in her eyes. She's like, wow, we'll open it up a whole new world here. How about this? You know, I don't know if this is okay, but sometimes when we're driving in my truck, my daughter will sit in the backseat in the car seat and I'll take the headrest off the passenger seat so she can see directly out the windshield. And I think that changes everything for her in that same way. I don't think that's bad to take that. No. I don't think so either. I thought you're about to go. I throw Daisy in the

bed of the truck. Put her right up front. I do let them, sometimes I'll drive around my yard to, you know, like if I have, you know, pick up sticks or something, put them in, I'll let them ride in the back. Yeah. They have a lot of fun with that. I used to ride in the back of the truck all the time. I would ride in people's, dude, people are family barely new. I would get a ride home from them in the bed of a truck. Oh, yeah. It's just the way it was done. Yeah. I don't even think it was street legal then, but it was just kind of done. It was okay. Yeah. Yeah, you, Dusty kind of made fun of me about this one time, but we didn't turn around Eleanor's car seat until she turned four. Really? Yeah. Yeah, I'll still make fun. What were you, were you based on weight or

something? Yeah. And our pediatrician's recommendation. I was like, Dusty, our pediatrician. Yeah. But, uh... And you chose wrong, though. You chose the wrong one. It kind of just, it's mostly based on weight, but it kind of worked out where she was around four when it was kind of the weight, you know. Okay. He said, until then, it's safer to have them facing back. Yeah. I'm going to be honest, Sam just turned three, and I, I don't know how long we had it backwards,

but it was not long. Uh-huh. Sunny already turned around. Yeah. I mean, I feel like once, I don't know, they hit a certain way, I feel like 20 pounds or something, flip it around. 20 pounds. Yeah.

You might flip it around soon. She turns two, I think. We'll flip around. I know mine's extreme, but we wanted to... That's fine. I get it. And I, you know, I think, you know, obviously... He has three, so...

Exactly. Obviously, safety is important. But I also just felt like they were just, like you say, when you turn that seat around sometimes, how excited. It's like, I feel like they were excluded facing the back. They really are. You just look at the back of this car seat. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it's miserable. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't deny that. But I decided to put safety from it. And I want my kids to know what I'm yelling at. You see? You see what I'm dealing with here?

Yeah. That's very funny. Yeah. Anyway. Well, I'm mad I'm here because of dusty. Yeah, that's okay. We'll get through it. I may go to Alabama this weekend just to feel better about it.

Where are you going to go? Go hang on my dad. Yeah. I'll go down to the Fett. Yeah. Penton. Go to the Penton grill. Penit to the grill down there.

See it through it. It's open. Saturday from T. 2 to 30. Our Penn & Grill clip did very well. It did very well. Did it blow up in the Pent and Grill area? Yeah, it did.

Okay. Bill told my dad to say thanks for that I'm going to make him rich. Is he drumming up some business down there because of it? Yeah, maybe he's got to fix the hours first. Yeah, when they're open, people do stop in there. Stuff to find them open. But, you know, this episode comes out July 8th. And I believe July 8th was the date of our very first Nateland episode.

Was it really? Six years ago. Six years ago. How long were we doing this one? About five months. We're doing this five months? I think so. I remember watching that just a few minutes of that episode and being like, oh, they did that without me.

Are you serious? No. You weren't watching. It's called the good old days. Yeah. But then I came in and took over. You ever have somebody you love and you would consider a close friend and they put something out and I'm so proud of you. in your mind you think I'm never watching that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, my special's about to come around. Well, I did watch your special and I will. Well, I watched yours live, so I may not add. Yeah, we watched that one live. Yeah. And Dusty, yes, I appreciate it because Dusty doesn't watch.

Anything. Yeah. And I was on stage and I look over and there's Dusty. Standing in the corner. Corner and smile and laughing. Waving, distracting the audience. Telling the staff to be quiet. Signing things for people in the crowd.

I did go. tell the staff to be quiet. And I felt bad about it, but I was all, but I was like, you know, I was standing right by that door and I'm like, guys, he gets one take. How did you say it? Pretend not, pretend not. Pretend I'm the guy washing dishes. All right, come in and tell me me before. I just go, hey guys. I don't remember what I did. But I go, hey guys, can you keep it down back here? He's filming a special and he's only got one take. Who cares? We're working. And I go, well, they didn't say that. So, I know, but this is. I was trying to get you an improv.

It's like Moneyball. They goes, who cares? I'm working. I'll go, all right, I got to find one of the Dorfman. Look, guys, he's not doing great out there, and everyone can hear you clanking. No, you wouldn't. You know, it's hard for me to be an audience member because everything someone does, as a performer, it's like everything someone does in the audience annoys me.

Yeah. I go, what are you guys doing? Yeah. I remember I took Lucy to see Dave Chappelle at the Tivoli in Chattanooga years ago. And he was her first. time sitting in the audience of like a show she had nothing to do with. And before the show, everybody was, you know, behaving. She was like, I had to be like, you're not involved with this. Just let it. Just let it happen. You're not in, you don't have to like police the right.

What were they doing before the show? Oh, everybody talking and you know, and then you're yelling out there. Donno Rawlings open. Everybody's yelling stuff. And she's like looking around. Like, is somebody going to do something? During the show. Yeah. Before in it. It was wild. Yeah. But I had to be like, this is not your show. I went to the, you know, I told you all the guys last way. I went to the Nateland taping. And Adrian said, you want to go back and say hello to the guys, you know, before the show. And I'm like, sure. So, for instance, all those guys went back to the green room.

And as soon as I get back there, a smell comes out of nowhere. And it's, it's, it's, everybody knows what the smell is. What kind of smell? Well, it's like when, you know, when you get off that elevator and you're, it's just, it smells like someone. What? Just. I thought you had a full diaper. Somebody blew up the bathroom?

Or just the... Their pants? The worst. Something with the pipes or something? It was just, I'm trying to... Where was this at? In the green room at the Woolwork. Tell us what happened.

It was a terrible, terrible odor. Like someone pooped their pants. Okay. And I was trying to not be so... Was it you? I think poop your pants is okay. I don't understand what you're saying. I just want to...

I don't feel like you even understood what the smell was. No, what's the smell? We didn't poop your pants. Yeah, I don't. Fart or the worst, you know, gas ever. Yeah, what's it coming from? Well, I'm trying to get there. I'm saying.

I just wanted you to establish the smell first. I can smell it. You're describing it so well. I can smell in my head right now. Jeez. See, the staff here, or married to the staff. I know. I know.

Did you ever get to the bottom of what it was? Because here's what happened. As soon as I should, I promise it wasn't me. You didn't bring it with you. But as soon as I show up, I mean, everybody's smelling it, but everyone's at first at least pretending not to smell it. So I'm back there carrying on conversations. My eyes watering.

It is so bad. It's our Home Depot bathroom here. Yeah. And then I think Aterian finally wanted to broke the ice and said, yeah, who, what is going on back here? And then everyone's like, yeah, this is whatever. And then I went on to my seat. And I really worried that as soon as I left to go to my seat, the smell went away. And then everybody's like, that's totally bait.

Are you checking your shoes or anything at this point? Like, what do you? No, no. What was it? Did you find out? I don't know. It's probably something with the pipes. Yeah, and somebody flushed at the wrong time.

Was anybody sitting near you going, do you smell that? No, it was as soon as Brian walked in. And honestly, I hate to tell you, but as you walked out, it kind of flattened. So it really wasn't in a good look. Was it opening and closing the door maybe? It wafted out with him? I don't think it's from Brian. Yeah, I don't think so.

Brian doesn't smell. You don't smell bad. You're not a smell bad guy. There are plenty of smell bad guy. Am I one of those? Am I a smell bad guy? You've gotten way better. Okay. But there are guys that, a lot of comedians that just smell really bad. I don't wear deodor. Yeah, I know. But you don't smell that bad. Yeah. You don't smell bad. And the fact that you said you've never smelled Brian tells me it's not a problem. Yeah. If he smelled bad, you would have smelled him by now.

Yeah. You've been around him a lot. You're not far from him now. But again, this was not a lack of washing. type of smell. Uh-huh. That was, it was, but it doesn't sound good that I, it went away as soon as I left.

I do wash. I think I also just don't wear, yeah, we know you shower and stuff. You don't smell, you don't smell good, but you don't smell bad. Well,

you don't want to smell good. You want to smell like you. Yeah. You got a you smell. Yeah. You want to smell. Yeah. Wait,

way, I don't know how I got off of that, but yeah, I can't remember what that had to do with what we were talking about, but I like the story. I'm concerned about the, you've gotten better comment.

that you said to me. I was just thinking of the old laughing skull story. Oh, yeah. Do you want to tell that or do you want to move on? Well, no, it was in laughing skull. It was very hot. It was hot in Atlanta. And Lucy texts me, your wife, said, she goes, can I tell you something?

And I go, yeah. She goes, you kind of smell a musty yesterday. And I laughed because I go, yeah, it's hot. And I don't wear deodorant. I mean, I appreciate Lucy. Me too. Doing that. I appreciate it too. She said some of the industry was talking about it. She's like, Dusty's my friend. I want to make sure that he's. And whatever you did, you did so well that festival. You got JFL from it. You got the Tonight Show. You got a ton of career changing things. That's what I'm saying. People are afraid of must. As soon as you cleaned up. The must. Lucy saved your career. No, the must is attracting people. It's bringing them in. They go, you know what? This guy, some fair mounds.

and got into them. You know, perfumists or cologne makers? Yeah. They do put small, small, undetectable amounts of fecal matter in cologne sometimes. Yeah, I don't wear it.

I'm just saying. Why? It kind of proves your point. Yeah. Why do they do that? Just to give it a little, just to ground it a little bit. Somebody was wearing a lot of cologne yesterday.

And it's not something that you can detect when it's mixed with everything but it gives it a little bit a little loof that festival changed my career yeah and uh and you gotta you gotta have a little gets into people's system

they go I'm attracted to that guy you got a tonight show you want I'm talking about you when you leave the room I got JFL I got the tonight show who'd you take to the tonight show Lucy there you go that's right

that's right Exactly. Just does a thank you. Yeah, exactly. What's your favorite smell? We were talking about that? I think so. Well, I'd like to hear it again.

I wonder if it's changed. You know, this one... Oh, you want to go first? Well, I was going to share a time I did smell. Okay. I'd like to hear that. Forget my question. My dog, this is...

I was in college. No, no. One summer, it was college. And I was out with my dog. And he got into it. with a skunk. And I had to put him back in my car. Yeah.

And drive him home. And it smelled so bad that when I came in the house, my mom was like, stop right there. Yeah. Go outside, you know, take all your clothes off and, you know, you cannot come in here. And the dog, the dog stayed outside. Yeah. When I grew up, we did not have outside dogs. Dogs in the house.

My mom does that. Back when it was a proper country. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, I shower, did all the stuff that you're supposed to do to try to get rid of that spell. I put all the stuff in my car, baking soda, vinegar, whatever you're supposed to do. And I thought it was gone, but you can't tell after a while. It lingers, yeah.

And I had a summer job. And I remember showing up at that job. And as soon as I walked in, some lady said, somebody smells like a scum. It's the same day or next day? Next day. Next day. Next day. Somebody smells like a skunk. Yeah.

I knew it was me. I think if your dog gets sprayed, you got to give it away. To who? You got to get rid of that dog. To whom? Who do you give a skunk sprayed dog to? Just you find a person. You find a person who has at one of those porches with a lot of dog under it.

Yeah. You just let your dog go. Well, the dog wasn't really the issue in this month. I mean, I had to bring him home, but I'm going to have to do that anyway if I'm giving him away. They say to take a tomato. Did you take a tomato soup bath? Maybe. Don't they say to do that?

I think so. It's a lot of tomatoes. Yeah. Yeah. I bet you guys had a garden, though. We lived out in the country. Yeah. My mom, she comes to our house now and our dog's in the house.

She does not like it. This is my favorite smell. Okay, go ahead. I like. Thank you for being patient while the most of a strawberry plant, the herb. Take it, break off a little piece, and just smell that rosemary. And what does that do? It just, that's my favorite smell.

I don't like that. Oh, okay. I don't like how it makes you feel. What does it make you feel? Emotionally. Well. I don't, you know. Look at this.

According to Google AI, which we know is accurate, 100% of the time. If you get sprayed by a skunk, they say take off your contaminated clothes. You did that, Brian. Yep. Wash with a neutralizing mixture of one quart of 3% hydrogen peroxide. You probably got that laying around the house. Quarter cup of baking soda and one teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Do not, I repeat, do not use tomato juice as it is largely ineffective.

Okay. Well, I'm glad to look that up because if I got sprayed by skunk, tonight, I would have taken a bath in tomato juice because that's how it's depicted in television and in film. If you took a bath in tomato juice, would you taste a little bit of it? He would slowly sink down

to get him on high level? Blowed bubbles in it. Oh, that'd be the best bath in my life, I'll tell you that. Dipping a grill cheese in it. Oh, my God. What are you doing in there, Aaron? You've been in there two hours.

Oh, gross. I do an Epson salt bath every now and then. I love an Epson salt baths. Okay, I think I remember your favorite smells. Let's hear it. Gasoline? I love gasoline. I love the smell of gasoline.

Freshly mowed grass. Freshly mowed grass is amazing. Yeah, I like that too. That's a good smell. Gas, though, they say smell. An unbelievable memory. They say the more they're like dilestineated. the gas, the less it smells like gas.

Oh, it still smells pretty like gas to me. Yeah. So they got diluted a little more. What about if you're at the pump and you spill a little gas on your shoe for whatever reason? And then you get back in the car. Do you like the smell of gas that much? No, it's like if I smell gas where I'm not supposed to smell gas, I don't like it. Yeah.

But when you're at the gas station and it's what you're there to do. Yeah. I like the smell. What about diesel fuel? I don't know. Is there a different smell of diesel? Yeah, like just growing up, we used to drive my dad's tractor up to Larry Edge's grocery, which is also the same owner of the Penn & Grill, and he would fill up with diesel fuel.

And it's a real smell. Who's Bill? Bill's Larry's son. Okay. All right, okay. We got a chart somewhere. Bill Edge. Gasoline smells pungent, sweet, and quickly evaporates when it touches your skin,

acting like a paint thinner diesel, has a heavy oil. oily, sometimes slightly sweet or metallic odor. Yeah. It leaves a greasy residue that lingers on hands and clothes. Interesting. And then kerosene, my dad always said Dr. Pepper tasted like kerosene. Does it? That's what he said.

Had he drank kerosene before? Maybe. You believe it? It was a good chance. I had a family member of mine filled up his car with diesel by accident. Oh, no. I don't think that was possible. Really ruined the car.

Was it a long time ago? Not that long ago. Because I thought the hose. It went in there. I guess it was 10 plus years ago that it happened. It sounds like I've almost had this happen to me a few times, but I have looked at it and I always thought it was too big to go in. Yeah.

Oh, it's a different. This one just went in, right? I've done that too. Just not paying attention. And then it luckily wouldn't fit. Oh, wow. I got all good. You ever pulled away with the hose in your vehicle?

You did it, right? I stopped it right before it got ripped out. But I've. Oh, it didn't. So it didn't rip out. No, it didn't rip out on me. It's a big fear of mine. It looks pretty embarrassing.

Yeah. I remember I had some embarrassing. I remember I had my old car I had in high school. I had two sets of keys for it. I think like I had my key and then my parents had a key for it. And I lost mine or something. So I had to borrow my parents key for it. So I'm driving down the road and some guy pulls up next to me and he goes,

left your keys. I was like, what? My key chain was inside. the door. Oh, yeah. So I'm driving, and then my keys just inside the thing, just flapping in the wind,

like a moron. Yeah. Still remember that guy. It's also impressive. People are like, how do you do that? Yeah, he's got a lot of keys.

And that was before push to start on a lot of cars. Yeah. You had to have the key in the thing. I miss that. I miss the old key days. I know. This episode is brought to you by our friends at IQ Bar.

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public to 64,000. Text public to 64,000. One more time, that's public to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply C terms for details. You both have push to starts? I do now. Yeah. I don't like it. Yeah. Because I like to know where the key is. I, my, mine still got windows to do this. No. You got a 2013 Honda Corny. Oh, there you go. Yeah. But whenever I get a rental car, I'm like, wow, the technology these days. It's pretty awesome. I got to think wrecks are down, right? Just because of like backup mirrors. But more people are on their phones than ever. Yeah, that's true. Let me look up the stats. Rex by year U.S. We've got, okay, okay, okay. 2024, there were 39,000 traffic deaths, 2023, 40,000. So we're down about, you know, about a thousand. And then 22 was 42,000. So we're going down.

People are dying less. That doesn't mean they're having less access. Yeah. Not quite at the speed. I'd like it to go down. Yeah. That's probably because of, yeah, safety, like airbags and stuff. But I was just thinking about, I got my mom's car the day. I remember when backup cameras first became a thing. I thought, I'm never even going to use this. I'm just going to look back when I back up. My mom's car does not have a backup camera. And I got another day. I'm like, I kept just find myself looking at the dash. It's handicapped you. Yeah.

It's done it to us all. Like in my truck, if the tailgate's down, then the backup cam is like looking at the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. So you'll be able to tell right away.

Yeah, so I get out, close the tailgate. But if you're moving something, then it's gone. Yeah. It's gone. Yeah,

you got to back out the old-fashioned way. Yeah. When get in these comments? Well, you guys, yeah you guys well we all were somewhere but I was at Zanies All right Zanis Standing O

and then I threw out the first pitch at the National Sounds and they asked me to sign with the team. All right Yeah that's big time I injured the catcher I threw so hard Booster the rooster Do you think you'll still do the podcast or Yeah

You just do that? Why would he? We'll zoom them in Yeah All right comments come from Twitter Instagram YouTube Apple podcast reviews and mail at natlandpodcast.com. This first comment comes from Darren West. I love the podcast. Been here since early Nate Land.

I love Beebe taking his roles. Dusty consistently saying unhinged stuff that makes complete sense. Oh, geez. And Aaron's humor and quick wit. Main point of this comment is I also love Aaron wearing his hat in three to four different ways each episode. The boys have style, and I can't wait to keep looking up to our public figures. Oh, thank you, Darren.

Wow. Very nice. Darren, wow, Darren's really on it. Yeah, I like that, Darren. Yeah, I got a big head and a hat, you know, it gets uncomfortable. Yeah. After a while, it gets hot, so I've got to move it around. Sometimes the stitches will start to pop out.

What is that team? This is the Louisville bats, but it's a mint julep. Okay. Because that's their drink, right? So it's a little mint, they become the mint juleps every now and then. But they're usually the bats? The Louisville bats, yeah. Because of the Louisville slugger.

But how long have they been that? Been that for a while. Really? Yeah. I mean, it's a bat like the animal, but it's a baseball bat as well. It's why it's called that. Like, you know, Nashville becomes the hot chickens every now and then, the Nashville sounds.

There's just mint julelewit. Did they used to be the Cardinals? Maybe. I know the college is the Louisville Cardinals. I feel like the baseball team. Maybe they were. Okay. Yeah.

Jennifer Marsingill. Is that right? Yeah. I think public figure, I think a public figure's reality show channel is in order. Dusty's idea of placing Brian in different sports to see where he would blend in is pure gold. I am an idea, man. Have that show and Dusty's Rearranger show.

And then maybe Aaron could have a show where he competes against others in golf where he throws the ball only. I would watch all three. That does sound good. I think these are maybe one episode shows. You know? Well, the Rearranger could go on and on. I don't know how to make a whole franchise out of these other than the Rearanger. Well, me doing different sports.

Every week I could do a different sport. Okay. Kind of like undercover boss. Yeah. Would you ever do Rearanger for like businesses, retail businesses and stuff? Absolutely. Churches, schools, things like that, everything. Going to rearrange everything? Yeah. Zanis. What would you do to Zanis? That's an interesting question. What would you do? If you get to change this comedy club room, what would you do? I know exactly what I would do.

Well, you know, but let's say you had a five, you have an arbitrarily large amount of money. You can do whatever you want to the room and make it perfect. What would you do? Well, just, you know, this is not the premise of the rearranger. I understand. This is my show. This is my TV show. It's Comedy Club Rescue. I'm John Taffer. Honestly, you know, I'm sure you have some good stuff in mind, and I'm not saying this just because we're filming here. Here we go. But I love Zanney's Club, and I wouldn't change.

You wouldn't change anything? No, because I feel like it's perfect. I'll tell you the first thing I would do. Okay. Soundproof the green room. Okay. It's the first thing. Okay.

In the main room, not so much the lab. Both of them. I don't think I've ever. ever noticed in this one. You have? Yeah, I've had some quiet, some quiet sets up there. I've been in the green room when you've come off stage and yelled at this to be quiet and I'm sitting there with the Dwarfmans. Oh, yeah. That's not something I've thought about, but sound proven that, yeah. And then, you know, I would put an unbelievable video recording system. Yeah, okay. And get special quality sets every time you put in there. Wouldn't that be awesome? Well, those are all

nice things, but when I think about, like, what would I do to the club? Those are not necessarily, I thought you were talking about more. I'll fix all the wobbly tables. Okay. I might lower the stage a little bit. Lower the stage a little bit. Lower the ceilings? I don't know.

I would fix the roof so it's not so loud when it rains. I don't know. See, I like that. Have some character here. Cookie cutter. I would bulldoze the building and rebuild it from scratch. I think this doesn't affect me much now, but I would try to do something different. with the bathrooms. The men's bathroom is a really tough spot. So cramped. Now here's the problem is I think,

I think just because of how old the building is, I think they're grandfathered into a lot of like regulations and stuff. So they can't modify it too much or they'll have to do a lot more. The video system is great though. I like that. I mean, just top, I mean, I don't think the video thing is so bad now that they have, but top notch would be, would be great. Multiple. angles. Do they have it in both rooms? They got it in both rooms, but it's not like, it's not great. I mean, it's good to watch your set and review it, but it's not. I mean, very few clubs that have a system like that built in. Yeah. I got one from the lab. Yeah. That I posted and it did very well. So it's, I guess my set was that good. It's really about, really about the content. Yeah. Yeah. What would you do for the rearranger for, for this room? What would you do in the studio? Yeah. I think I know. All of our stuff would come off. Well, yeah. Yours would go up.

Well, yeah, of course. I mean, that's obvious. And, uh, well, a lot of people comment that they would raise this sign because Aaron blocks it. And I can't help that. No, no, I know. But I think that could be. But you know what? I like it to, I like it in here.

Um, I kind, you know, I kind of miss the square table that we used to have. Mm-hmm. This is a very nice table. It is a great table. But I, you know, I like. kind of. That's why you like sitting at the end. Yeah.

When I'm at a, I don't like to go into a restaurant and sit at the bar with people. That way we're having to talk like this. Yeah, yeah. I like to sit where I can look at you guys. You ever sit same side as your wife on like a date? I don't think so. I've never done. Do you do that?

You ever sit the same side? We went, we met Saturday, my brother-in-law, sister-in-law and their son at a restaurant. and we're somehow with the kids the kids are on one side ruth was on one side and i was on the other side with with them that the kids and ruth all got up and went got ice cream so now the three of us are all on one side one side of the table i immediately got up and just moved to the other side of the exactly what i would have done yeah it's weird it's very weird i did just it when i sold pesticides i was dating the competition and me and her would go to bars and we would drink and i would sit on the

same side of booth as her yeah that was because we were you know what messing around you're You're going to know with the Roundup girl? Well, no, it was another competitor. Oh, okay. Those Roundup girls are hot. Well, this one was the Bayer rep, and she was hot. Oh, Bayer, like aspirin? Yeah, well, same company, but they sold pesticides.

It's not good that the pesticide people are also making aspirin, huh? No, well, we talk to our own business. Okay. All right, here we go. Next comment, Bobby Edlin. Bobby with an eye. So I think it's a woman. I think so.

But it is a guy. He messed up the spelling. Bobby Edlin, if you never watch the podcast, you're only getting about 80% of the experience. Breakfast's facial expressions are the bonus content people don't know they're missing. There it is. Yeah. There it is. That's true.

Seeing it right there. That is true. I can't imagine hearing the jokes being made your way without seeing how you react to it. I like listening. I think I like painting my own picture of a podcast. Really? Yeah. I think it's more fun. I get distracted sometimes when I watch. Yeah. And seeing. So I like to, I feel like I laugh more when I listen than I want to watch. What do you think people think about the three of us if they've only ever watched and have never, or only ever listened and have not seen us? They always say we don't look like they expect. People said they thought Dusty was a little

person, right? Well, some people do say sometimes I sound like Nick Noveci. But I think, I would think that they would think that Aaron was like much larger. Because we make jokes about him being fat, but he's really a normal guy. They think they're going to turn it on and be like, whoa! Yeah. And I think that they would think that I look a, you know, a little crazy. Yeah, yeah, I agree. You think they think I look older? Yeah, I think they think... Totally. They think you look way older. They think you look like Doc Holiday.

Our Doc from back to the future. That's who. Doc Brown? Doc Brown. Who's Doc Holliday? Val Kilmer and Toonstone. Yeah, that's not who I'm mad. And a real person.

Yeah. And then you look like, you know, an elderly man. That's what they would think. Because we make so many jokes about you being old. Oh. Yeah. I thought we were now naming what we actually did look like. No.

No. Okay. Okay. Well, thank you, Bobby. Aaron Cornwell. I'd like to know if Dusty will narrate his book. If he does, I'll definitely want to buy the audio book to hear it in his own words. If not, I'll buy the physical copy. Well, we got a sale from you either way. So I appreciate that, Aaron.

But I think that, yeah, I think I will narrate it. which I think I'm going to hate. But because, you know, I... You know, how long it takes to record? It's going to be in there a while. I know. I had, you know, I had to write the book. And then I had to read it.

And then I had to read it again. I'm so sorry you had to go through all this. And then read it again. Yeah, I had to write the book. You had a really hard time. Who made you do this? Everybody. And then, and then I got, you know, and then I'll have to read it again.

in order to say it outline. That's he's so funny on his podcast because he'll have some out there. And he was like, look, guys, I know you're like, this guy's crazy or whatever, but I got an hour to fill here. So I got to say something. He says it like he's required by the FCC. Somebody's got a gun off camera. To fill time.

He's just doing everything. He's making it up for himself. Well, I've committed to doing an hour every week. Yeah. It's going to get a little crazy. So, you know, you just talk and talk and talk. You're the only comic in America whose podcast is shorter than a set. That's true.

That is true. Mary V. Is Friday night better than Thursday night for a comedy show? I bought tickets to see Aaron in Royal Oak, and I thought I bought Friday, but bought Thursday by mistake. Is it worth going through the process of changing dates, or will Thursday be just as good? Look, they're both going to be hot shows. I think, look, I think buy tickets for Friday and then decide day of which one you want to come to. So just buy them for both.

It's interesting. I find that the typical, for me, if I start on a Thursday, you know, first time at a club, first show of the weekend, it's not, you know, it's not always my bet. It's still a fun show, but I would say I'm more comfortable by Friday when I'm there. But it also depends largely on what the crowd looks like. sometimes the show that on paper should be the best is not my favorite show because of how ticket sales were. So I'm going to try to give Mary. I'm going to try to give the good people of Royal Oak the best possible show, every show while I'm there. July 16th through the 18th.

What do you think about? What would you say about your Thursday versus Friday? I agree with Aaron. Now, sometimes the day I come in, I have some jokes about my travel day that seem to work better than my material. You bury yourself up top, yeah. But then again, you go, all right, now here's the jokes I prepared. But sometimes if I did something that day in the town, I'll talk about that when I start the show. But I think generally I'm more comfortable, you know, you just did your set the night before, maybe two, what?

I just, you have me thinking about, I have a buddy, Michael Blank is his name. He's a comedian out of Kansas City. and he's very funny but he's a younger, newer comic. One of the first gigs he did with me, he hit me up for a guest spot

in Springfield, Missouri at the Blue Room Comedy Club. And Michael Blank shows up. He had never been to Springfield and he's like in the green room and he goes, I wonder if they've ever

heard a joke about the Simpsons because you know the Simpsons takes place in Springfield. And I was like, I mean, maybe, I'm sure they've heard that before. He goes, all right, we'll see.

So he goes out there. He goes, what up Springfield, where are the Simpsons? And it just got nothing. I was dying in the back. What did you think? You're going to get a standing o. What do you set that? Like, come on. You take it such a risk. You're so vulnerable. At least I am making like, because it's a joke you've never told before, right? And you're trying. And more times than not, it'll do well just because they appreciate you being in the moment about something. You're putting yourself in the room. Yeah.

And I'm not trying to critique Michael Blank's joke. I am. But that's not really much of a joke. It's not. I think he would be the first one to tell you that. But this is what I'll say for myself about Thursday. Like my first show of the week in a club might not be as tight. Because, yeah, after you do that one, then you go, and then Friday hits.

And then it gets. But a lot of times I'm looser. and the show can be a little more fun for me on a Thursday because I'm looser and I traveled, so I'm a little tired. You're getting your sea legs. Yeah. So I think Thursday show, the first show of the weekend is sometimes the best. Mary Vee, I think you're going to have a great time, whichever show you come to. There's also a cigar bar right behind the Royal Oak price that I go to.

Nice. And I haven't been there in a long time, but it's a good spot. I think it's maybe I don't know what's called, but very nice. nice guy in there. Tell him I sent you. Okay. Judith Sears. Judith. Yes, you're right. There's no age.

There's no age. Judith. Judith. Judith Sears. I am so impressed with y'all's knowledge of movies, TV series, and music. It gives the podcast such depth. Wow. Wow. That's what I'm talking about. It adds to what I know or don't know.

You can't get three comedians with this knowledge and add it to every podcast. This seems fake. It's so nice. Well, listen, when you're right, you're right. You can't ask for this kind of depth. Yeah. We're just naming songs from the year 2013. When you're right, you're right, then. Judith gets it. Judith, you do get it. Judith may not know how to spell first name. I worry that I left the T, the H-off. I'm trying to see. But let Judith. She should start going by Judith. Judith Law. Guys, before I found Warby Parker, buying glasses, I'll be honest, it felt like a chore. It was either confused. using, overpriced, or just not great styles. I'm just trying to buy glasses and I have a full

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Sean Herring. Harring? Harrowing. If you were given a clone of yourself, do you think you could raise it to be better than you, even though it has all your flaws and strengths? It's interesting. Raise it now in this time, because that's very different from when we grew up. Is it born a baby?

Or is it a clone like Michael Keaton multiplicity? Yeah. But it says raise it to be better than you. So I think you're starting with a baby. Okay. But it's you. Yeah. I don't know what I would do.

I think that's like having kids. But it's like a half clone of you, half a clone of the mom. Yeah. You know, I don't know. I'll tell you in, you know, 30 years. It's going to take that long. Sean, if you're around. Not 18?

Yeah, well, I guess, yeah. But I mean, you know, it's like the person that I am now versus the person when I was 18. I mean, it's a vastly different person. Right. So I don't think my raising was complete at 18. So when do you know if you've raised them well or not? When they're 40? I don't know. I mean, I hope that my kids at 18 are at a better place than me. I was doing well. Okay. And then around about 16, it slipped. I found some bad stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, limp biscuit. Yeah. And I got into it. I enjoyed it. Do you think if you got in that time machine and went back to your old self, that your old self would listen to you? No.

If my old self could know for certain that it is me from the future. I don't know if your old self would recognize you now. Yeah. But if it's just some guy like me coming up to, I don't know. But you know what? But you have stuff you could say that would prove that it's you. Yeah. I always was a bit, you know, kind of an introspective kind of kid that, you know,

It was drinking that really threw me off course. If not for drinking, I would have been, you know, who knows? I would have ended up doing comedy. But I was always ready to listen to some advice. Okay. Because I was like, but, you know, I'm always like this. If somebody's given me advice, I've got to look at their life. Is their life doing well?

But maybe you get better advice from somebody who's experienced failure, right? Because they can tell you what does. Well, they can tell me what doesn't work, but they don't necessarily know what does work. You know? Yeah, that's fair. Like, you know, a fentanyl abuser might go, hey, don't do fentanyl. And I go, well, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. But were you watching, you weren't watching videos back then? No, there were no videos back then, you know. There's nothing really to watch when I was 18. I mean, movies. I watched Braveheart a lot. Yeah. There's some good messaging in bravefart.

Yeah. You know? Love that. Kill everyone who disagrees. Yeah. Hey, he just wanted to raise his family. That's all he wanted to do. Yeah.

Get married, settle down in its town. And break the law in the process. Yeah. I'm team England. I'm team Longshanks. But, Sean, just to answer your question, I don't, I don't think so. Well, because what's better? You don't necessarily.

Like, am I... Can I answer that? I don't think I'm better than my parents. I think what might happen is I would help my clone with my flaws, which would do his flaws to improve on, but it would somehow hurt my strengths. It would make me a different person. Yeah, right.

And therefore my strengths wouldn't be as good. Right. Like if I had somebody walking me through every state and how to do it the best, would I ever develop a sense of humor. Right. Yeah. I think your sense of humor develops from just, you know. Can we do a fake job interview here?

Can we improv real quick? Yeah. I saw you're applying for the job here. Look, we've never met. What would you say some of your greatest strengths are? Oh, well, I'm really, I'm a great communicator. Oh. You know, I make friends quickly.

Yeah. I'm a great salesman. Excellent. And I'm on time. Okay. You relate to this interview, but keep going. Well, you know, I'm, you know, there was a little trouble getting in the building here. I was, I showed up to the building on time.

But then, you know, the secretary didn't believe that I was here for the interview. Sounds like you're throwing people under the bus immediately. Well, listen. Doesn't sound like much of a team player. If I, I'll tell you, if I get this job, I will find a new secretary. But it's his secretary. She's got to go. It's actually my wife.

That will be. Well, that's, that's already. problem that I noticed that you got to you're mixing family and business listen we're just getting to meet each other she also said you're a little musty did you listen as a weakness I don't listen as a weakness it's fairmoans and if I visit enough times that secretary will probably be interested in me once again that is my wife at the front desk I'm not saying I'm going to do anything right but you're saying you'd be able to you could if you wanted to that's kind of a given I am a sales weaknesses? Well, you know. This is my co-interviewer here. He just walked in. I just want to be in the clip.

Because this was pretty good. I'd like to say something. Weaknesses. I don't know. I mean, can a person really notice their own weaknesses? You know, I feel like that's up for other people to interpret. What other people say that your weaknesses are? I notice you don't have any. job references here on your resume. Have you worked other places before? Well, I've, you know, I've done, you know, jobs here and there. Okay. But I'm not, you know, yeah, but it's like, if I write those down, then you'll want to call them. That's usually how it works. You're correct. And obviously, they don't like me as much because I don't work there anymore. Now, listen, Dustin, we like to ask people questions, maybe just throw them off kilter a little bit. We like

creative people here at our company. How many windows do you think there are in New York City? Oh, well, is this a quick guess? I just want to hear your thought process. I'm going to say 140 million. How'd you get there? I just, there's a lot going on in New York City. I agree. And the eyes are the window to the soul.

And so most people have two. And then you're going to have other windows. This guy's good. You're higher. as the bus boy. Boom. Yeah. Oh, that's good.

That was good, Dusty. That was fun. How many windows are there in New York? No idea. It's just, there's no real answer to it. We had a big, long debate. It lasted years about whether there are more windows or windows or doors or wheels in the world. And I think the obvious answer is wheels.

But we don't have to get back. We don't have to relitigate that old. Well. I mean, I guess, yeah, I mean, I guess a car has four wheels, but also probably different wheels going on in the engine as well. Right. So. And Lego manufactures millions of wheels alone every year. And that alone is enough to put it above.

What do you mean? I mean, is it got to be the door. This is all part of the game, buddy. Or a doorway. Yeah, you're playing it. You're playing exactly how it's meant to be played. Could it be a doorway? It could.

Well, there's got to be an actual door. not just a gap in the wall. Are you flexing here? But a frame? Yeah. But a frame? I do this every podcast, but this is a thinner shirt than normal. He's flexing it as he's talking.

Well, you guys don't know what that makes me so uncomfortable. Oh, you guys don't know what's up. Yeah, now I'm worried about the secretary. Okay. Okay. All right. Here we go. Brad Hans.

Brad Heine. I saw the breadwinner, and both my wife and I gasp when we saw Aaron and Bates on the trash truck. Then we gasp again when we saw Dusty selling that horse. It felt like seeing friends on the big screen. Love y'all, and I really enjoyed the movie. It's so great to have wholesome flicks to see again. How about that? You know, I took my mom to see it this week, and, of course, Kamel is very jacked and does flex his pecks. Yeah, oh yeah. But Dusty, you look very buffing that role. You look very thick and muscular. I want to say at that time I was doing a lot of push-ups. I've kind of slacked off on the push-ups again. What was a lot of push-ups?

Would you do? I was doing up to 100 a day. Well, that's a lot. I mean, that's legit. Yeah. Do you ever do pull-ups? Anything like that? No, I just don't have a pull-up bar around.

It's tough to find a pull-up bar. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm back down to zero a day. Okay, that's good. For it was a while there, I was playing video games pretty heavy. Yeah. And I made a deal with myself that every time something happened in the video game, I would do 10 push-ups.

Oh. I stopped doing that real quick. Yeah, what do you mean about something? You know, I die in the game or something. I'd have to do 10 push-ups. Okay. And then you die a lot. That would reward your set like, hey, I can keep playing because I'm making myself work out.

Right. I got to, yeah, incentivize some type of actual exercise. What was this you told me, you've told us both via tech. about Aaron's routine. Yeah. So I got my show this weekend, it had been technically last weekend now, said afterwards that he was buying my shirts and he's like, I'm losing a lot of weight. And I was like, oh, what's your secret? He said, Aaron's joke about the track.

What is it? The walking pad at his desk. Walking pad. He said, or maybe learning the joke, maybe you just talked about it on the podcast. Yeah. And he said he went and got one and he's lost 75 pounds. Wow. What did you say back to him?

I said, well, since Aaron said that, he's gained 75. Yeah, he broke his. He took it out to the road. I did break it. He said he would come and get it from you. Really? She lived here in town? No, Columbia.

Oh. But this country? Okay. All right. The space shuttle. You know what, though, but that's what I always say about the breadwinner. I took my three-year-old daughter. No, I took, she was four.

She was five. She was five now. When did it come out? Not that long ago. A month ago. Not enough for it to be a different age. Especially not two years. Her birthday's May, yeah.

Came out May 17th? May 29th. May 29th. So she was five. Okay. She's May 11th is her birthday. And there was not one thing in the entire movie that I wish that she didn't see. It was great.

Very family friendly. Yeah. And I think a good overall message. see some people try to criticize the message sometimes. And I go, guys, it's a fun family movie. Right, right. Take it easy. But I would argue people are so into horror movies now. And they're like, oh, horror movie. That's the way to go. I got to do a horror movie. I would argue this, it ends with them in a Titans game. Probably the scariest thing. Yeah. You can imagine. I guarantee you they lost that game.

Stadium was not that fool either. Yeah. That's what's funny about us being on the jumbo tron at the games. We're like, we're on the Jumbotron at the beginning at like the worst season they've ever had. Don't we get one more, though? Were that for two years? I think we've already had two seasons. We've only had one, but, I mean, it's... I think they're going to switch it up. It's us called the Naitland podcast.

Right. Well, let's not tell them. Yeah. Hopefully they don't know yet. Yeah. Okay. Michael Stevens. Oh, and also, Brad, thank you.

Thank you for gasping when you saw us. I appreciate that. Yeah. Michael Stevens, for your podcast cover art, each host has a different color behind him. Were these colors strategically selected for each host? I like to think Dusty was paired with blue to convey the color of the firmament. All right. Aaron was paired with yellow to symbolize his blonde Brad Pitt looks.

All right. And Brian was paired with red to demonstrate his unbridled rage with the listeners. Did I crack the code? Well, other than that Brad Pitt comment, I would say you're spot on. I don't know where that's coming from. No, someone did say that, you know, I read all these comments, at least in the first couple of days. As they go along, I lose. But the first couple of days, I read all the comments.

And there's a couple of people been in there talking about Aaron being real hot. Yeah, they call me Brad Pitt. Yeah. And a lot of Brad Pitt comments. And I go, what videos are they seeing? But I'm into it, though, you know. Like it was the time, like you didn't wear a hoodie one episode. And people were like, oh, Aaron's hot.

I do that when I just got a haircut. Yeah. You know, I was about to, I was trying to think of a movie. I don't think Brad Pitt's ever done it. Like, where he made himself look fat or gross. Like, not what? Just for the bad or gross or unfunny or? Just for comedians.

Dick effect I was trying to think of what. It's like Tom Cruise did it. And like, look, Christian Bale does it all the time. Yeah. I don't know. Dick Cheney? Yeah, exactly. I don't, or, I don't know if Brad Pitt's ever modified his body.

I can't ever think of a movie where he. I guess curious case of Benjamin Button. He did. He looks old. He really did shrink down. Yeah. Yeah. You never how small yet.

Oh, yeah. I watched that with a friend of mine. And we watched the whole movie. And then at the end, when he's like a baby or whatever, and she goes, ah, this is just too unrealistic.

I go, what movie have you been watching this whole time? The whole thing's unrealistic. That's like Mike James joke about Game of Thrones. I have never seen Benjamin Button. I haven't seen it either, but I know what it is. I know the premise of it.

I said a couple weeks ago, I'd never seen, oh, man, the John Candy movie. Plains Trains on him. Uncle Buck. You know, people laid into me.

That's one of my pet peeves, though. I'm sure there's people out there who have literally seen every movie, but all of us, and I think we're all movie fans. There's some classics that we have not seen. I never saw Snow Day with Josh Peck. I don't know what that is. I was an age where everybody saw that movie, and I never did. And then they talked about it for months after it came out,

and I never saw it. It's too late now. I got nobody to talk to Snow Day about. I agree. You remember that? I have no idea. I don't even know who Josh Peck is. You never watch Drake and Josh?

No. I guess y'all are too old, man. Yeah. Yeah. But it is, I'm going to be honest, though. I agree with you. But it's ridiculous that you haven't seen Uncle Bob. But, Dusty, I guarantee there's some

it's ridiculous you haven't seen. You don't think there's some books, Brian's read that you haven't? Well. The New Testament. This. Okay. Some of those food problems you have to get to all. I'll clear it up.

But Uncle Buck is, I think, John Candy's best movie. When my daughter gets older, I'll give it a shot. Well, how about your next plane ride? How about it right now, Brian? Stop the podcast and watch it. Do it for me, just so we can talk about it. I mean, I genuinely, I love that movie. Okay, I will try.

I worry. It's not like having to watch Shawshank Redemption. You don't remember this movie? No. Rules were made to be frozen. Is that Chivy Chase? I don't know who's in this, other than Josh Peck. Who's that down there?

That's Chivy Chase. Chevy Chase. And then who's the guy, that's the, take my little hand guy? Chris Elliott, yeah. Iggy Pop. Gene Smart. Unbelievable cast of this movie. Honestly, this is.

I might go watch this tonight. I might watch it tonight, too. Yeah. All right. I will watch Uncle Buck. What do you want me to watch? I was going to say I worry that, and I'm sure it is a great movie, but we just talk about some of these movies that don't always hold up. It holds up.

If you watch it the first time, like planes, trains and automobiles, I'll watch it with Ruth and I don't feel like she loved it. Yeah. Sometimes if you feel like somebody else isn't enjoying it, it's hard, you're like, I don't know. It's got to be worth the white, right people. And you don't watch it with a person. I know that, but I'm just saying I love planes, trains, and automobiles because I've watched it since it came out. But you're worried that Dusty's not going to appreciate it. She watched it the first time and didn't seem to enjoy it as much as I did.

I worried that that will be mine with Uncle Buck. I wouldn't worry about it. Well, let's all give each other a movie to watch. Okay. For the next podcast, we'll come back and talk about it. He should watch Moneyball, right? Yeah. You should watch Moneyball.

All right. It's Brad Pitt. Speaking of Brad Pitt, he's in there. He's got a dip in the whole movie. He's not gross in it, though? He's got a dip in. He spits it out of the... What about the devil's advocate?

I don't know. he's not going to... What is that? Is that Al Pacino? Yeah. I love Al Pacino. Charlize Throne. Is he blind in it?

That's sin of a woman. Hoorah! But no, I was joking. Moneyball, that'd be a good one. What about Aaron? Yeah, what should I watch? Snow Day? I think you should watch Greece.

That would be a good one. Yeah, you're not going to like it. Yeah, I guarantee you all hate it. But I'll watch it for y'all. You got to, when you watch it, just think of, you know, like high school movies. I mean, that's what it is. Do I put myself like I'm a high school kid watching it?

I think so. From the 50s? I think you put yourself like a middle schooler to where you kind of look up to these people. Okay, but I'm in the 50s? Yeah. Okay. I don't know. Maybe I could watch it as a kid now.

Yeah. Okay. Think about they're cool to you. These are the cool people. Oh, they're cool. Yeah. John Travolta, cool. I mean, when I remember watching it when I was a kid, I mean, I thought they were cool.

Yeah. The T-birds? Are you kidding? Brian, what should Brian watch? Uncle Buck. Okay. Yeah. When do we have to report back?

I mean, we're two weeks? Well, thanks to me, we got two weeks. Yeah. So the next episode, but that'll be in... Yeah. Okay. All right. We'll report back.

All right. I'm excited. I'm excited you to watch Moneyball. Yeah, me too. I'm going to have to watch it while I drive. Sorry, I do that all the time. I'm watching West Wing on my drives right now. Just started it again.

That's what I should watch. That's why I keep. keeps his daughter's car seat turned around. Not when she's in the car. Michael Stevens. Okay, we already read his. Thank you for that. Michael, you inspired.

And yes, mine is about the firmament. Let me just say this. I am wearing the public figure shirt. Yeah. Anyone's interested? I don't know why my mug is orange. Is that supposed to be red?

No, that's supposed to be red. Oh, I thought that was red. Yeah, it's supposed to be red. Oh, okay. It's red. Oh, okay. It's a CMYK or whatever. What's that?

I don't know. Printing colors. R.G.B. Okay. All right. Zachary Cuts. Aaron's next special should be called, this is Aaron Weber speaking.

That would be good. I think that would be good for a solo podcast. Aaron Weber speaking. Yeah, this is Aaron Weber speaking. Okay. And you could start every podcast. You're trying to give me to leave this one. I think you should go off.

Yeah. Just do your own thing. We're holding you back here. A guy on a guy. A guy that's not you, it's us. A guy that listens to my podcast that hates me said that I should leave this podcast because you guys are a good duo. Are you scared? Yeah, and that I should go off and start some kind of cult.

Yeah, I agree with that. There's no reason you can't do both. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I watch Ryan Hamilton special and man, it's so good. He is so good at stand-up. Yeah. He's just so funny. He's very funny.

He is one of the best. Hope the special is doing well. The little bit I've seen, it looks great, it's very funny. He debuted at number seven on the top top. That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, Ryan Hamilton's great. Yeah.

Very funny. And if he hadn't got hit by that boss, I mean, think of where he'd be now. Remember he got hit by a boss? Yeah. It's a whole special. Is it? Yeah. It's called It's just hit me or something.

Oh, okay. Oh, I've not watched it. Yeah, check it out. It's not his whole special, but it's a big part. Okay. He tells it so. Well, it's very funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Comedy's so funny how, obviously not to that extreme, but whenever something embarrassing or bad happens to us, maybe not so much you, because you don't do a lot of super personal stuff. Yeah, but we do a little bit more. I have jokes about throwing up in my car. That's true. Yeah, but everybody's done that. Anyway, you pretty quickly, once you get over the embarrassment,

you're like, oh, I can make a joke out of this. Yes, sir. I was in the Nick U, like, yes, sir, 15 minutes. Have you ever had to wait around for a contractor to show up? Yes. They give you that three to 12 hour waiting period. It's half the reason I would rather do it myself. Then they finally get there.

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I don't want them in there. I don't want any bugs in there, except for the ones I bring in and put in the aquarium. You get everything you need. The kit includes pro-grade pesticide, the same stuff the pros use, a sprayer, mixing bag, gloves, and instructions you can complete in less than 10 minutes. Plus, it's customizable for whatever reason, whatever season, location, and weather you may deal with. Pesty gets rid of over 100 types of bugs from spiders and ants to roaches and stink bugs. Everybody's least favorite bug, the old stink bug.

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Today, that's P-E-S-T-I-E dot com slash Nate for a an extra 10% off. Jace Lee, we need a public figure's musical performance with Aaron doing his Randy Newman voice, breakfast doing his

Nora Jones voice, and Dusty adding the country twang. That would be a hot song. You're just making noises in the background. Boy, yon, y'yong, right. Dusty, go blow on a jug back there. What's a year of play of a mouth? heart, the wah-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w. You don't know what I'm talking about? You don't know what I'm talking about. You don't know what I'm talking about. You don't know what I'm talking about. I've heard the term mouth harp, but I don't really know what it is.

It's a little, this thing right here. Listen to this guy. Turn it up. We're going to take her jaw harp and we're going to hold it with our void-textual. Play it. Play it. Oh, yeah. That thing. I heard that on like TV shows, cartoons. Oh, I think that's in... The jaw heart. That may be in the song, Louisiana Saturday Night.

Probably is. You get down the fiddle and you get down the bow. You kick off your shoes and you throw them on the floor. Huh. Well, that's a perfect segue because this week we're talking about songs. Something we've never touched on in the history of this podcast. We basically talk about it every week. So I thought, let's just make a whole...

And we're going to get it out of... of our system. We're going to dedicate it to Kathy. And we're not going to, this is called for Kathy. That's the name of the episode. And then we're done. Songs for Kathy. You guys want to guess how many songs there are in the history of the world?

140 million. Same as the windows in New York City. Song, like recorded songs, copyrighted. What's the? Well, I have two numbers here. One is publicly cataloged. Publicly cataloged. And one is historical, everything, historical,

unrecorded in indie music it says. I'm going historical. I'm going cataloged a million. I'm going to 55 million. Okay, you were close to the first time, Dusty. Cataloged 100 million. Wow. That's all right. All together over a billion.

Billions. It's estimated that approximately 1.6 million new songs are written annually with tens of thousands of tracks added to the world's cataloged daily. A billion songs. And Dusty knows the top 10. And that's why I'm saying. But he does honorable mention for most of them. Let's stop making music. We have a billion songs.

We got so much to catch up on, man. That's enough. But you've got some AI tracks to put out? Yeah, I got, I'm up to 11 songs now. I'm working on my growing okra song. And that sounds good. I got to figure out. Because I'm growing okra and I don't know why.

You know what I mean? I don't even like it, but I'm growing it. Sounds like a Nor Jones song. Yeah, I'm growing okra and I don't know why. working on it. Okay. If I was to eat it, I'd be about to die. A lot of people said raccoon eating was it steak? Yeah. It sounded like Noir Jones. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. That's a really good one. The first song that we know of that survived written notation is the hurry and hymn number six. It was discovered when clay tablet in Syria back around 1400 BC included lyrics honoring the goddess of

orchards alongside instructions for a nine-string lear, L-Y-R-E. Yeah, liar. Lyer, I think. But it's that old, that old school kind of looks like a guitar. Okay. So this is from 1400 BC. You want to listen to what it sounds like? First ever, the oldest known melody.

Oh, I love that. That's some stuff I'd listen to. That's all we can play. In the time of Christ, people are like, God, I just don't make music. Everything's so commercialized now. It's all pop and rap. It's all rap.

Even true back then, I thought. Yeah. The most popular song, it depends on how you measure it, but commercially. Shave and a haircut, two bits. It's got to be up there. You know the song, right? Shave in a haircut. Well, let's guess.

Most popular songs of all the time. Let's talk about shaving a haircut. You've heard it. You've heard it so many times in your life if you don't even know it. Okay. Oh. Oh. That's where the knock comes from.

Shave and a haircut, two bits. Shave and a haircut, two bits. Wow. That's what the knock is. Wow. So we're all knocking this song, you know, years and years later. Wow. But it's not that.

I think it's happy birthday. How did that come about? No idea. Maybe they were going to the barbershop and they're like, you knock what you need. I need a shave and a haircut, two bits. Now you tell what you pay? Yeah. I don't know what the two bits means.

Well, that's money. Oh. Maybe it was, they were knocking back, shave and a haircut, and then they would knock back two bits. Sounds like they were advertising to me. Two bits is a term in the U.S. and Canada for 25 cents. Hmm. It meant a quarter. And that doesn't make sense.

No. I don't know. Maybe a 12.5 per bit. Yeah. All right. So, when I said. most popular. Those are both good guesses. But this is based

from Guinness World Records based on selling, best selling single worldwide. Gangham style? Hold on. I'm guessing gangam style. I'm going. Baby Justin Bieber. I will always love you by Whitney Houston. Interesting. Those are all thriller, Michael Jackson. Madonna.

Maybe. She's going to say an artist, not even say a song. Yeah, like a vert, like a cert, whatever. Stairway to Heaven. Physical? Yeah, let's get physical by Madonna.

Ben Crosby's White Christmas. Oh, it's always a Christmas song. 50 million copies. I'm dreaming.

I think we're more modern. It was Elton John Candle in the Wynn. Oh, because of Princess Diana. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, because of her dying. Dang. Really capitalized. Mm-hmm. It's a great song, though. Elton John is unbelievable. Yeah, he is.

Yeah. Let's try to think where to go next. We could talk to the greatest songs of all time. Let's do least popular songs of all time. Okay. Raccoon eating steak. Listen, that's doing better than, I got it. I mean, it's got more views than a lot of people's songs.

Finally, a song that says something. Yeah. You know. I looked up. the most used words in a song. Love or heart, I'm guessing. Well, love's got to be up there, but I'm going to guess eyes. Those are good guess.

Love is the most common thematic noun or verb. Sure. You and I are the most pronouns. I was thinking physical eyes. Oh, yeah. E-Y-E-E-S. Baby and yeah are also often used. You're talking about eyes.

You're talking about heart, too. Yeah, that's true. Approximately 67% to 70% of all popular music contains themes about love, dating, or romantic relationships. Makes sense. To me, love songs I hear, Dusty. Well, I agree. It's like, that's what I'm saying. What do we even have to write about now?

I'm writing songs about Okra because no one else is doing it. Finally. I got a pretty hot punk song about pawpaw trees. You're the voice of the next generation. You have 10 albums just about your backyard. It's like the guy from, like Steve Correll from Anchorman. I love Lamp. Yeah, exactly.

Just looks out of his window. Yeah. I'm going to write about that. Bush. Bush, good man. 22%. is. 22% of country songs feature alcohol references,

making it the second most common genre behind urban hip-hop. Interesting. Now, do you think that that's a relatively new development? But I think they're talking about alcohol forever. I think they've been talking about drinking for a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the trucks and that kind of stuff.

Yeah, I think the thing about the drinking in the old days is they're like, I'm sad. Okay. And I'm drinking. It wasn't party drinking. No, Shabozy. Some of it is party drinking. But, yeah, Shiboozy.

boozy, but long before that, it's been, you know, tonight I'm looking for a party crowd. You know, it's been going on. Chilling on Diro. Yeah. Lay Max. I mean, the party drink has been going on my red solo cup. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel you up. Let's have a party. That song is so terrible. Brad Paisley. But I kind of like it. I like it too. It is. Brad Paisley has that alcohol song.

That one was a really good one. It's kind of trashing alcohol. though. It's not really pro-alcohol. I don't know. It kind of seems like all the, I don't know. I remember me and my friend were like, we're going to quit drinking. And then I found that song and I showed it to him. And he goes, don't show me songs like that when I'm trying to quit drinking. Alcohol, it's a song written from first person from alcohol.

Yeah. And the first one is, I can make anybody pretty. I can make you believe any lie. I can make you pick a fight with someone twice your size. Yeah. That sounds great. That's dusty in the early 2000s. Support for today's episode comes from Square,

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It originated from a classroom song called Good Morning to All, written in 18. Good morning to all. Some people say the happy birthday song is an aging curse. Yeah, a lot of people do say that. I've got a nickel for every time I've heard that. We could move on, but I would like to hear more about it. It's an aging curse. The funny thing is, I think you shared this before.

but I want to hear it again. Well, you know, they say, you know, you're singing, you're first off, you're baking a cake, which is, you know, kind of, you know, and they talk about baking cakes to the queen of heaven in the Bible, which is referencing, Mary, Mother God. Not referencing Mary. Okay. And then, you know, and then you light the candles and you make a wish, and then you blow out the candles

and the smoke goes, you know, to your ceiling. whatever, whatever gods that you worship to grant your wish. And then you sing happy birthday as some type of ageing curse. Incantation. Yeah. I heard that the aging curse is very often when people do it, they get one year older. Yeah. That's the curse.

But, you know, would we age the way that we do if we weren't singing it, you know? My family would sing in the same tune of happy birthday, they would sing, May the dear Lord bless you. Oh, yeah. See, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, but I'm aging like milk. Well, you probably abandoned that song. Listen, when you had that senior portrait up here, I thought you were in middle school.

Yeah, now look at him. And since you've broke out of the family, it's falling apart. And you started singing happy birthday. It's catching up to you. My family would sing it to me. Happy birthday. You did the black, happy birthday? The Batesis did, yeah.

But yeah, for decades, people believe the song was copyrighted, leading restaurants and TV shows to avoid singing it. Happy, happy birthday. That's what they would do in the restaurant. Happy, happy birthday from must of you to... Whatever, you know what I mean. But in 2016, a U.S. court ruling confirmed it belonged to the public domain. Wow. Good for them.

Good thing that went to the courts. That's a good use of our time. So now we can sing. It's a new use of our time. Do you know the New Year's Eve song? The New Year's... Oh, it's Aldell sang or whatever. That's close.

Yeah, it's one of the best melodies ever, I think. It gets me emotional every time. I've never heard of it. Gets me emotional every time. That's not good. Are you serious? This song is unbelievable. No, I'm joking about getting emotional.

We shouldn't get emotional. You don't get emotional to New Year's song. I don't think. All the Ling sign? I thought that doesn't keep your eye on the flag. That part gets me. goosebumps every time I hear. You're a grand old flag.

You're a high flying. What did you say? You're a grand old flag. You're a high flying flag. That's totally different. Flag. Yeah. Oh, okay.

I'll have we cleared that out. I think what you said. That is a great song. That's even in a wonderful life. That's how they end it. That's how they ended. They're all singing that song. Yeah.

It's also there's a great scene of Forrest Gump when it's playing at the bar and the confetti's falling on Lieutenant Dan and he's sad and everybody's cheering to that song. It's a song, it's happy, but it's also sad. It's like all of these emotions. It makes you excited about the future, but makes you miss the past. And it's like, I don't know. It's the most emotionally gut-wrenching song that I know. I'm Lieutenant Dan at every party. I know. I'm looking at you thinking that. You're in a wheelchair for some reason. Are you saying because you're sad?

Yeah, yeah. Everyone's having fun and he's not. It comes with the territory. Yeah. So that song, Aldling Sign, I think. Yeah, yeah, Alblank Sign. Popularized by Scottish poet Robert Burns in the late 1700s. The title roughly translates to old long sense or more naturally time gone by.

Mm-hmm. It's pretty beautiful, dude. Oh, Danny Boy, is that? on there? That's a hot song too. How's that go? Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling.

Do you know what, take me out to the ball game? What if that's about? It's about going to a baseball game. Mm-hmm. Yep, you nailed it. Did you know that? You know, it could have deeper meaning, you know, but you...

It's actually about, it isn't going to, but about a woman who would rather go to a baseball game than go to a date with this guy. Oh, that's awesome. She's saying, take me out to the ballgame. Yeah, it's a woman named Katie who loves baseball more than going on a date. Oh, I love that.

Is that real? Yeah, that's real. Yeah. I don't know if it's that, Katie, but that's what it's about. I'd go. Oh, you're a sports fan. Just buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks. Cracker Jack, singular.

Do you know that's the lyric? Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack. Does she say, I don't care if I ever get back? I don't care if I ever get back. So she's okay with kidnapping. I think she wants to stay at the game. I don't care if I ever get back. So she changed it to make it home.

Yeah, I don't care. I would like to be home after the game, but it's rude. For the home. Doesn't Cracker Jack have peanuts in it? Do you really need peanuts and Cracker Jack? I guess it does have peanuts in the mix, but when I think of Cracker Jack, I think of like the caramel corn.

Yeah, it's always one or two peanuts in there. It's not a lot of peanuts. Yeah. If you like peanuts, get some separate. You're going to want you. Yeah, you're not going to rely on the crackerjack box for all your peanut needs. Aaron, do you know what a Mundy Green is? A Monty Green? Mondi Green? M-O-N-D-E? No. It's a misheard word or phrase that results from a listener misunderstanding lyrics or speech, filling in the gaps with similar sounding words that make their own kind of sense. This is how I have heard most songs in my entire life.

So some popular ones. Rock the cat box. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's funny. Chewy, he don't like it. Rock the cat box. What are some famous ones?

Blank Space by Taylor Swift. Yeah. Starbucks lover? Yep. It's a big one. Tiny Dancer by Elton John. Tony Danza. Yeah.

I don't think people are really misunderstanding. I don't either. I think that's episode of Friends. I don't think Elton John was singing about Tony Danza in the 70s. Bad Moon Rising by CCR. There's a bathroom on the right. Bathroom on the right. Yeah, I could hear that.

I could totally hear that one. Yeah, yeah. The Drake and Josh theme song. You know that song? I do. I was trying to think of where bathroom on the right comes in. There's a bathroom on the right. Yeah, I mean, I heard it.

I think I said we suck it better than. What's My Age Again by Bleak 1182? Remember that song? Yeah. I took her out. It was a Friday night. What's the next line? I don't know.

You don't know. I don't know well enough. Everyone always said, I walk alone. But the actual lyrics, I wore Cologne. Oh. That's a big one. Is that on there? No.

What about one week by the bare-necked ladies? Yes, man. In one week, I just sang, I had the whole beat down. I just said chicketed chick-chik, the Chinese chicken the whole time. Yeah. And I don't know if that's even in the same. The whole time. Chiggins chicken, chicken, Chinese chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken.

Chiquidiga, chicken, chick, chick. Yeah. What a great song. What are they talking about? I love that song. Yeah, that can't be about anything. Chicken to China, the Chinese chicken. You have a drumstick and your brain stops ticking.

Watch an X-Files with a light song. That is more than this one. Like Harrison Fordham getting frantic like Stingham Tantric. What was that? It's like Stingham Tantric. Okay. Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy. Oh.

You know all the lyrics. Yeah, I used to love it. that's not. I don't know if those are right. Yeah. But it's what it sounds like. Yeah. Purple Hayes by Jimmy Hendricks.

Blue Hayes. A lot of people think. He says, excuse me, excuse me, while I kiss this guy. Okay. What is he actually saying? Kiss this guy. Yeah, I don't think anybody really thinks that, though. These seem like all, like, like, who wrote this?

Weird Al Yankovic? He's like, this is what people think. A lot of people think Michael Jackson saying, eat it instead of beat it. All right, here's what I really do think. I mean, I knew that's what I'd be saying, but it sounded just like this to me. Dwight Yolkham, a thousand miles from nowhere. I got pickles in my head. What is he actually saying?

I got echoes in my head. Okay. You thought you were saying pickles? It sounds just like he's saying pickles. Hmm. Do you know the song? Yeah, I got heart eggs in my pocket. I got echoes in my head.

I mean, I never thought of it. I never thought of it. My bun. You don't know the song? I've never heard this song in my life. Okay. You never heard of a thousand. You don't know that for sure.

For a thousand miles from nowhere by Cat Stevens. It's a great song. Is it? I think it's called Miles from nowhere. Okay. Some lyrics that make no sense. All right. I am the Walrus by the Beatles.

Yeah. Cuckoooo. What is that all about? Is that about the USSR? He's John Lennon, delivered this to mock critics who overanalyze his work. Okay. That's pretty fun.

He says, I am the egg man, they are the egg men. I am the walrus, goo, jacaboo. What about the Ballot of the Thin Man by Bob Dylan? Is that on the list? Ballot of the Thin Man by Bob Dylan. Yeah. It's a song written, released in 1965 on Highway 61 Revisited, one of the most iconic albums of all time.

What about it, Dusty? Well, the whole song, you walk in, it seems like he's talking about critics, Just that's what made me think of that. But he's just like he gets the, I mean, if you look up the lyrics, the lyrics are pretty, you walk into the room with a pencil in your hand, you see somebody naked and you say, who is that man? Who is that man? It's dusty and his friend. He's at a party. Yeah.

Yeah, you walk into a room. You try so hard with a pencil in your head. Don't understand just what you will say when you get home. Oh, man. I love that song. Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones by Counting Crows, another great thing. Well, see, I thought that this was, Mr. Jones, was a reference to this song, but I don't know if that's true.

What about Mbop? Mbop by Hanson. Great song. But the words just made up. No, those lyrics, it's actually a really great song. If you look at the lyrics, I'm a staunch Hanson defender. Okay. Okay. I can't wait for this one.

Listen, look at the lyrics to this verse. You have so many relationships in this life. Only one or two will last. You go through all the pain and strife. Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast. Oh, yeah. So hold on to the ones who really care. In the end, they'll be the only ones there.

And when you get old and start losing your hair, can you tell me who will still care? Okay, this is what becomes the problem. I like that they put only, since there's three of them, and I imagine one person singing here that he said, only two of your relationships will last. So I like that the people in this band. Well, later those mbots become, in an mbop, they're gone.

In an mbop, they're not there. In an mbop, they're gone. Mbop, that's how fleeting life is. Until you lose your hair. Until you lose your hair. Mbop, dude. Mbop. Why is it going to meet you like that?

Well, I'm just saying, they say. Yeah, umbop's pretty quick. Before you know it, you just imbub. I'm out of here. All right. You've shared with me on a couple of car rides song lyrics.

One, it's really great, one that was funny that I want to share and then I want to talk about some great song lyrics. Okay, yeah. The one that's great, Jason Isbell,

if we were vampires. We were vampires. Such a great song. You know that song. It's a very sad song. I do know the song, but you would have to sing some of it for me to.

Just if it is, if we were vampires, we could live forever and we wouldn't have to worry about. What album is it? of. This is Jason Isbell and the 400 unit or whatever. It's not, that's what it's listed under in his band. I don't know the name of the album, but it's, he's on, it's on his wedding day. And he's, and his bride to be is walking down the aisle and he starts to get sad. And he's like,

it's not because, like, you're perfect. It's because what's best case scenario? I get 40 years with you. Yeah. So. Now they're divorced. I know, but I don't think it's really, But he's saying like he gets sad about the limitations of time and all this stuff. And then he's like, if we were vampires, we would go outside and smoke and laugh at all the people. And then he's like, but it's because we're going to die that everything we do has meaning. Yeah. It's because there's a time limit. Then I'll love you so much more because there's going to be an end to this.

I just want to see. It's really beautiful. What album that is. Well, while you're looking at that up, Oh, that's the Nashville sound. Yeah. I don't know that one as well. Yeah, it's really, I mean, it's probably my favorite song.

The very funny one. He has some great stuff, though. Gosh, you set me up for this as a great song. We're in the car. I think it was called Down by the Lake. Parked out by the lake. Parked out by the lake. Parked out by the lake.

Yeah. And do you know this song? No. I'll play it. We'll play it after the. Okay. It's maybe my favorite. country song in the last 20 years.

Okay. It's really good. We can't play it on the air because of copyright. But you don't want to talk about it? It's not the happy birthday song. No, I don't want to ruin it. Okay. But it's a good.

Go check it out. Dean Summerwind, parked down by the lake. So, Dusty, what is, is there a song lyric? There's probably multiple that just resonates with you. Billy Joe Shaver, does he have any? Well, Billy Joe Shaver has so many. It has some really great ones. John Prine.

John Prine. What's that song from? You know, he has, John Prine has a song called Souvenirs, which is really great. And he kind of talks about, I hate graveyards and old pawn shops because they always bring me tears. Can't forgive the way they robbed me

of my sweetheart souvenirs, you know. And it's a really good one. That is hot. It's a hot one. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I'm really on the spot would come up with subjects. It's a tough question.

That's all right. Yeah, yeah, but think of something later. Yeah. All right. Before we run out of time, do we want to try to write a song together? Should we do it? Do you think we can do it, Dusty? I think we can.

Do we have a guitar or anything? Now, you, you, I saw an article. You need some AI. We'll do it right now. No, no AI. Oh, well, we're going to need a guitar then. What genre should we do? You pointed out there's no rap songs in the top 100 for the first time in, what, 40 years?

That's right. Because all music is rap. Okay. Oh, you're going to, okay, you're going to do this way. Okay. All right. So what type of song should we do? Love song?

I don't think we should write a love song. I think we should do a public figure song. Okay. He's already got the music written. Is that an original? Yeah, it's a C chord. Okay. Yep.

All right, I'll start it. I don't think this is going to go well. We really love being in the public eye. Okay. And then we need something to rhyme with I. Okay. All right. Let's go to rhymezone.com real quick.

No, no, no. What's the Euro song writer? How do you do it? What's your creative process? Three chords in the truth? Well, you just come up with something like that. You just try to write a little poem. All right.

What was the first line? I love being in the public eye. To cry. There we go. We use that. We love being in the public eye. Goodbye. If we weren't, then we'd want to die.

I think it's a good first line. I think we're on to something. That's how I do it. Okay. Now we need one more. We need another stanza for the first verse. Before we get to the chorus? Yeah, we need one more.

You write that one. All right. I really love the common folks. I'm just kidding. No, I don't. Boom. This is Brian's verse. Yeah.

All right. Here we go. And then what's the chorus? What is your line? I really love the common folks. Just kidding. Just kidding. Okay.

His socks stinks already. Hey bear. Hey bear. Oh, hey bear. It's Hey Jude, but as you sing, hey bear instead? Yeah. Hey, bear. That's terrible.

Well, no, I got a podcast. Here we could really get it up. A podcast with Brian Aaron and Dusty. I'm kidding. There's not a guitar. I thought we could put it in a eye. These three guys are old fat and musty. Jeez.

Come on, guys. Oh, man. That's pretty good. That is good. Old fat and muscle. What was the first line? A podcast. A podcast with Brian, Aaron, and Dusty.

These three guys are old fat and musty. Okay, I like that. Aaron, put it to music. You're the music guy. I don't have an instrument on me. It's hard to play on the keyboard. If you play at all. You get drumsticks?

What do you think? That's the last. least helpful. I mean, I'd rather take a mouth harp at this point. There you go. This will be good. Yeah, now we can get cooking here. All right, we got drumsticks. Dusty has a great opening line. What are you doing, Dusty texting?

No, he's on Suno right now. Oh, he's writing. Okay. Yeah, a little panda bear at the zoo is getting gas to death right now because Dusty's on Suno. The data center is Yeah, propane fumes or whatever they're doing over there. I don't know how it works. But you type them one in.

Let's hear it. What are the musical directions you're giving it, Dusty? Well, I'm just writing the lyrics down right now. Oh, okay. Okay. Good. Well, this seemed funner in my head. That's all right.

That's all right. A little preparation, I could have, if we, I had a guitar, we could really knock it out. I should have asked you. These drumsticks are not that helpful. But I thought I did say to you guys, let's write a song together. Yeah, but I didn't. First of all, I don't remember you saying that, but I believe that you did. But I don't think I thought you were serious.

You know? Yeah, I thought we put it at AI. We can do that. I'm just, as long as everybody knows, I strenuously object. What rhymes with world? Girl. Yeah, it didn't have to be. World.

What about land? Band. What rhymes with flat if you're doing world. Fat. Oh. Yeah. I think I know where this is going. Flat earth, fat girth, whatever you want.

You know, I can do a double rhyme there. That's two syllables. That's true. You know? Hurl. Right in song. It really makes you appreciate all these great songs we've been talking about. It's a little harder than it looks.

You know who the most prolific songwriter of all the time is? Elron Hubbard. Oh, that's author. Songwriter, I have no idea. Don Schlett. Don Schlett's probably up there. He is up there. Rest of peace.

Yes. Paul McCartney. Oh, it's the record for most number one hits in the U.S. Billboard. 32 number one scene. Well, that's different for most prolific songwriter. Okay. Right? That's the most successful songwriter.

All right, you're right. Prolific. I could have written a million songs and that'd be more prolific. Do you know who Matt Farley is? Down by the river? That's Foley. Okay. He's an independent American musician who's written and released more than 18,000 songs.

How? He writes tracks about highly specific topics such as birthday food and specific cities. Okay. to capitalize on streaming search algorithms. Wow. I've seen this. Almost any city of you can think of. He's got a hot chicken song probably.

There's a song about that town. Wow. What's his name? Matt Farley? Yeah, Matt Farley. Okay. I'll look him up. And they're not AI generated?

I don't know. But he wrote them. Yeah. The Guinness World Records for most songs written was by a guy in India. He wrote 3,524 songs across more. than 650 Bollywood films. Oh, man. He's like they're John Williams. Yeah. Yeah. I guess so.

Some more misheard. How are you coming over there, Dusty? I'm going to... Well, give us the musical directions you're getting. I'm going to... Let's go with it right now. Yeah, okay. Here we go. You ready? It's creating. It's generating. Are you putting it to your... Going to put up to your microphone? Yeah, let's see what it says.

This is... Is it ready? Yeah, it's almost. Hold on. Give it one second. Okay. Oh, yeah. Crafting your next hit. Is that what I said? What's the name of the song? Well, it's called, well, they give it a name. I didn't name.

You can change the name. It is calling itself the Public Figures podcast. Okay, I like that. Pretty good. On the nose. Our phone's been listening to the whole time. I believe it has been, yeah. So my signal is a little weak, so it says it's bringing your musical vision to life.

That's all good, bro. We're vamping. That's what we do. It's 51 seconds. Knock it out. You ready? Let's see if it's any good. Guy

guys are old fat and nice is hot the best in the land we wrote a song even then that's a problem that's awesome. What do you think about that?

A hit. Did you put Old Navy commercial in the directions? It's upbeat, catchy, you know, piano,

guitar. It is scary how quickly it did that. I know. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's a fully produced. That's what I'm saying.

Any chance you guys want to hear a little bit of my Pawpaw tree song? Well, we got to wrap it up. We don't really have the time, dude. Six o'clock. Just give it one. It's actually six o'clock. Just give it one little lesson. Okay.

If you can do it quickly. We'll talk about what is a Pawpaw tree first? It grows in... Pawpaw like your grandfather? No, no, it's a fruit. P-A-U, PA-U? Native to Tennessee. P-A-W?

Oh, okay. It's just kind of a whatever-looking tree. Yeah, here we go. I think you like this. This is your kind of music here. Here it goes. You're ready. I'm growing paw-paw trees.

In my backyard, I want to try the fruit. But growing it seems pretty hard. Paw-paws. But not to wet all these instructions. It's making me sweat. I'm growing. Oh, wow. That's good.

That's a hit, guys. That's what I'm talking about. That people think I'm out here just wasting my time. Bessie's going to wear it. He got, I'm growing. Paul, Paltry. Are you listening to this, like, in the car? My kids love it.

My kids are asked to listen to my tornado song, and the tornadoes song's good. Well, we'll save that for the Patreon. Yeah. Sonny's like, I'm just going to look this way. That was great. What a fun episode. That was great. That was a good movie. Are we done?

Well, I'd like to say where I'm at. Well, I'd like to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do that. You know, if you don't mind, I'd like to tell people, though, since this is a song's episode, that I have a playlist out here called Dusty Slay's Country Radio. And it's 22 hours, almost 23 hours long. It has 3,138 saves. So people are listening to this, and it's a great playlist on Spotify. I love that.

Yeah. So look it up. Yeah. Amigo? Yeah. I guess so, yeah. Well, before I forget, August 22nd, 23rd, 24th. Is that right?

23rd, 4th. 23rd, 24th. 25th. Nate Land Showcase Season 5. All right. It's here at the Lab at Zaney. So get tickets for that. A bunch of great comics on that.

Okay. But yours truly, this Thursday, tomorrow night, July 9th. I'll be at the Comedy Catch in Chattanooga. All right. Danielle, great swimmer, runs the club. Pretty good swimmer. Best swimmer in Tennessee comedy. Pretty good swim, right?

Then July 17th, 18th, I'm in coming up Broadway in Lexington, July 31st, August 1st, funny form in Goshen, Indiana, and August 2nd at helium in Indianapolis. Awesome. I got some dates coming up. I'm going to tell them to you. This is Aaron Weber speaking, by the way. July 16th, 17th, 18th. I'm in Royal Oak, Michigan at the Comedy Castle,

first time there. I'm super excited. I got some corporate stuff, not working next couple weekends. Could be. But then I'm back on the road. I got a couple dates at the Opry coming up. Then I'm in Phoenix, Arizona, Desert Ridge Improv. September things really pick up. Orlando, Florida, Conroe, Texas, Birmingham, Alabama, October's looking super busy. San Francisco, Sacramento. I'm all over the country. I'm all over the globe. Coming out and see me, Aaronwebercomedy.com for all my dates. That's awesome. That's awesome.

It's all good. Tonight at the lab, let loose the sort of open mic that we're doing here at the lab. And so there'll be 12 bucket spots and also some books. So if you want to just come watch, there are some booked comics. So you'll see some for sure funny people. But you can get, if you want to get on, there'll be 12, maybe 13 book spot bucket spots. This Saturday, July 11th, I'm in Charlestown, West Virginia at the Hollywood Casino. July 18th.

I'm in Atlantic City, New Jersey at the Borges. And then August 6 through August 8th, I'm in East Providence, Rhode Island at the Comedy Connection. Awesome. Nice. All right, guys. This has been a hot podcast, and I appreciate you guys listening. Thank you.

Thank you to the crew for doing two episodes in one day, even though I didn't need the day off. After all, I appreciate you guys. Well, thank me. You had to do research on two shows. Thank you, Brian, for doing the research on this. and then the research that Adrian did, you let us know that Adrian did that research. Thank you for that.

Okay, we're having a good time. We love being in the public eye. If we weren't, then we want to die. A podcast with Brian, Aaron, and Dusty. These three guys are old, fat and musty. The podcast is hot, the best in the Landers podcast.