The Nateland Podcast - 245: #245 Virginia featuring Reno Collier

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

Nate is out this week but the guys are joined by their good friend and fellow comedian Reno Collier. Brian shares an awkward mixup at Reno's charity golf tournament, Reno shares an awkward prayer involving Dusty's wife, Aaron has a bonding experience with his fellow air travelers, and Dusty again shares his position on why we should have fruit trees in every yard. Then the guys get into the topic of Virginia by learning about Virginia Hams, Virginia Slims, and why Virginia is for lovers. Cremo: Target.com You can find Cremo’s new line of antiperspirants and deodorants at Target or Target.com DeleteMe: joindeleteme.com/NATE Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan when you go to joindeleteme.com/NATE and use promo code NATE at checkout. IQBAR: Text NATE to 64000 to get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. Laundry Sauce: LaundrySauce.com Make laundry day the best day of the week! Get 20% off your entire order @LaundrySauce with code NATE at  LaundrySauce.com#laundrysaucepod #ad

Big shout out to you for making it through the hectic holiday season. This new year, get clean, quality pregnancy nutrient support off your to-do list, including Ritual's best-selling essential prenatal multivitamin, designed with 12 traceable key ingredients to support a healthy pregnancy. With big changes coming up, take the small steps now and start today with 30% off a 3-month supply at ritual.com slash podcast. These statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Hello folks and Hey Bear.

Okay. I'm Brian Bates as always. Aaron Weber and sitting in for Nate, the lovely Reno Collier. Lovely. Right on. I never hear that. I've never heard him say that about anyone. Well, I've never felt it till right now. Yeah. You don't strike me as a guy Reno when the hosts ask you

What do you know? What should I say about you? You don't give them a whole lot. Do you know you just say just bring me out? There I'll do my let's go. Yeah, they don't know anyway, and then you come out to isn't she lovely by Gosh, I can't think of you. What do you wonder Wonder, yeah. Yeah, I don't get into the long, I don't want him to have too much of a expectation. Yeah. You know? Brian Dorfman told me one time, he goes, dude, you have more credits than seats you can sell.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm like, just say my name, let's go, let's end it.

And it was one of those times where it's like, he was kidding, but at the same time, I was kind of like, he's really not that far off. Rooted in truth. The host is reading off the credits on stage. The audience is going, who is this? Who are we about to see? Well, especially even if they know who I am,

I don't look the same as I did. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.'t look the same as I did. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I wanted to talk about that because Nate gets a lot of credit. People mention it all the time. The glow up, they call it how he looks now versus how he used to look. But I think you, I mean, cause I met you at how you look, how you look now, but

I knew of you when you used to, I mean, I don't know the polite way of saying this. You look great now is what I'm trying to say. I'm talking about washing with a shampoo bottle. That's old school. Yeah, I remember that. I ran into a little alcohol problem. Okay. Kind of blew me up like I got stung by bees

and I had no neck. I just had like my head, there you go. Like this is the Reno that I knew before I met you. And it's hard to, I mean, it doesn't even look like the same guy. Who was the girl you said you looked like off a TV show? Natalie from the facts of life. Well, there was like Marsha Brady was at that roast and there

were all these people and no one knew who I was. And I was like, this is the Larry the Cable Guy roast. Yeah, yeah. And good God, dude, I was doughy. Really doughy. You look like a good time though. Oh, I was a blast. I don't remember any of it, but I was fricking fun.

People told me all the time on my apology tour the next morning, walking around going, did I do anything to you? Did I say anything to you? You know, you were so much fun. Yeah, I've been there. Yeah, except with me. They were like yeah, you did yeah The thing is when you look like the Gerber baby people don't get real mad at you I know they're like he just wants some mushy pee Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He's okay. He did mean it, didn't he? I don't know the Reno, the Reno Car, your catalog that well, but back in the day, when you were a little bit bigger, you and such a lovable, it was a little Chris Farley. Yeah. Like just this guy's goofy. He's funny. You had this joke about, I can't really give the punchline because this is a clean podcast, but it was so funny about your softball team was terrible.

So yeah, the church softball team. Yeah, that was a true thing. And you want to call your team off constantly. Yes. Yeah. And it's a funny joke. Look at that. Wow.

I look like I drive a Subaru and have a freaking kayak on top of it. You look like Peter Griffin. That's what gave me. He goes, if they ever do, especially with glasses on, he goes, if they ever do, if they have a freaking kayak on top of it. You look like Peter Griffin. I do. That's what Gabriel, he goes, if they ever do, especially with glasses on, he goes, if they ever do a live action, he would, it would make me so mad.

He'd be watching that show and Peter Griffin would come on and like, he was chasing a chicken and he kept rewinding and like, look at Reno, look at him. I did, dude. I was, I don't, yeah, I was so hungry. And it looks like I don't have any teeth. Not bottom teeth. No, the bottom teeth were gone. It's dipping.

It'll do that. I have no teeth. And, but apparently somebody did my hair before that. Because that's some. Yeah. What is this from the hair looks good there. That's from blue collar next generation. That is a good head of hair. Now it's not there anymore. But yeah, that was a good head of hair on top of that meatball. I loved it though. Yeah, it was fun. The drinking. Well, that was really fun till it just wasn't. But it was great, man.

If you can do it right, it's really a good time. That's what I always say. If you can, I'm jealous of people that can do it right. Yeah. I can't. I can't either. I can't either. If I could just do a little bit of anything, I'd be a much better human being.

But it's like, you know. Most comments can't. No, no. And I quit drinking, but now I'll eat a much better human being. But it's like, you know, it's anything. No, no. And I quit drinking, but now I'll eat a whole pizza. Like it doesn't, I can't have a piece of anything. It's like, if one's good, 10's better, let's go. And then- Like an oven pizza, frozen pizza? Oh dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's small time. Demolish those. Oh, me too. You plan to eat one of those. Yeah. And then I think if I- Yeah, it's thin crust. Yeah, yeah. This is just a of those. Yeah. And then I think of. Yeah.

This is just a flat bread. That's six feet by four feet. I remember at Aaron's wedding, we were sitting at the same table and you played a joke on your wife that we all quickly got in on telling her that I got another table. It was one of the Backstreet Boys. Yeah. I'm bored. I don't drink. And he turned to me and he was like. that I got another table was one of the backstreet boys. I'm bored. I don't drink.

And he turned to me and he was like, Sorry, my wedding was boring. Yeah. No, no, dude. I'm boring now. No, no, I'm kidding. Great. But it was so funny. You turned me, he's like, Brian Teller. That's and I'm like, yeah, that's him. He had a jacket like Nate wears that's, you know, not from around here.

Yeah, that's him. He had a jacket like Nate wears that's, you know, not from around here. Oh, I see how it works. But Nate, Nate's not here. We have a good time. Yeah. He had a jacket on. I love how you put that on. A jacket that's not from around here.

Yeah. Straight from Hollywood. So anyway, yeah, that was fun. You know, uh, I have a story about you in my act that I tell sometimes. Who was the guy that you were trying to convince everybody, like my uncle or something? Who was it? Just a random guy? He had like a shiny...

It was Eddie Cisneros. Oh, okay. Okay, that makes a lot of sense. Eddie would have probably went along with it. He would have done it for sure. Oh, I told him later and he thought it was hilarious. My wife gets starstruck and there were, you know, she was like, oh my gosh, this is so much fun.

I'm like, you're not kidding, man. One of the Backstreet Boys is here. Yeah. She's like, what? And I go, don't talk to him. Like don't say anything because he doesn't want anybody to bother him. She's like, which one is he? I'm like, you know, it is right there.

I had no idea. I couldn't name a Backstreet Boy with a gun to my head, but, but for that day your boy was... It was kind of perfect. His back was to us. You couldn't get a good view of him. Yeah, and I mean she was playing along. Yeah, she didn't know she was. Yeah. Yeah, it was good. You had a great wedding, man. Thanks, man. It had a lot of feel to it. It was fun. It was nice. Well, now I was gonna say

because I've played in a soldier's child golf tournament. Oh my gosh. I know what you're talking about. This was hysterical. Three times you played in at once. And then, uh, you know, I haven't done the last couple of years cause you, it's always on Mondays and that's when we do the podcast, but I had a couple of incidents happen there. The first year I played, we were winning and it was my first time there. I was nervous. Were you contributing to the win? No, no, it was just a good group. I just got matched up with a great group and we're dominating

and we're going to, we're going to win. And I go in and I've never been there before. And the director, uh, I can't think of his name, but he pulls me aside. He's like, can I have a word with you? It takes me to another room. Wow. And this is awesome.

And he's like, it's, I've been told that your team, well, he got, I got to accuse a couple of things. One, picking up the ball, like, you know, or Brian, like cheating basically, like, you know, like, you of all people, the guy wasn't accusing me directly, but he knew, he knew like, this guy's not with these guys. So if anybody will tell Brian didn't do any snitch energy.

That's my guy. So it's a best ball scramble, right? Yeah. The way it works. So everybody hits and then whoever has the best shot, everybody else shoots from that place. And everybody, everybody gets a celebrity on their team and Brian was a celebrity on that team. Okay.

But the group that he was with, first of all, this is an organization called, it's not, I host, it's not my golf term, I host it, but it's for a group called a Soldier's Child. You're the heart of it though. I tried it. Well, I'm proud of it. What was weird was back in those days, like when I was on TV and stuff all the time, I did it out of ego. Like I was like, well, Cable Guy's got a golf tournament. I want a golf tournament.

And I'd just go and get hammered and there's everything for it. When I sobered up, I realized what a beautiful organization it is. What we do is any kid that's lost their parent that's in the military from however, you know, it started off with guys overseas and then it's grown into guys have trouble when they come back home and the kids are left.

So we put on a birthday party for them through their 18th birthday in honor of their parent. And there are summer camps where a lot of our kids now who started out as little kids going to the camps are now the counselors. So if you lose a parent, you're sitting in a classroom, nobody knows what you're going through, but these kids are on the same boat and we try to get them to open up and laugh and all that stuff. So this golf tournament is for that, right? So you're thinking about this, this is to raise money. Now Brian, go ahead and tell them what happened. All right. So he keeps asking me, did you guys do this, do that?

And we literally, to my knowledge, did not do that. We didn't do anything that I saw that was illegal. But I mean, I feel like I'm trying to give him something, because he keeps, and I said, you know, we took mulligans. And he was like, what? No, you can't do a mulligan. And we, like, somehow we got our head, I didn't know every guy in the scramble, which was five of us gets one mulligan and we took full advantage of it.

And they shot like par 72. They shot like a 51. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, who cheats? We're raising money for these kids. And poor Brian is there poor Brian has been so loyal. Like he would come and then another time you got there and they messed up your team or something and they had to drive him in a cart and Brian standing out in the middle of the course like waving at me like, I don't know what to do. And I'm like, poor guy, like does everything he can to get to this thing. Then he gets on a team with a bunch of dude. We shot a 51, we win the grills.

And it's like, we're not here for you moron. There are kids that were raised who cheats and something like that. That's like stealing out of the play to church. Like, so what, what do you get by winning you? Oh, you win. So people will donate like grills or chainsaws. There's like really cool prizes. Yeah, the prizes are really cool. And, and it's the, it's the glory of winning.

But first prize is a grill. What's second prize? The second prize is pretty good. By the time you get the third prize, it's a lot of boos and which was one year. I don't know why I'm making fun of these guys for cheating. I was handing out the winners and everything and somebody won a bottle of Jack and I opened it up

and slugged a quarter of it in front of everybody. And I get done. I was like, I was trying to, you know, somebody want to buy a jack and I opened it up and slugged a quarter of it in front of everybody. I get done. I was like, I was trying to, you know, amp everybody up for the auction. The auction was over an hour ago. I'm like, Oh, well, can somebody drive me home? So then another year, I forgot about getting left. Like, cause you start off, shotgun start. They're like, everyone, your hole is 14 or whatever. Right.

Right. They stagger everybody and everyone go to your home. So I'm driving out there. I just love the idea of cool alcohol things to you that are cool, but to no one else. No one else. Yeah. I literally took it out of her basket. You're like, I'm going to go by the slam app of this.

Everybody else is like, this guy has issues. Cause in your head they're like, this is gonna look so awesome. Yeah, and my dad's like, man, these guys know who I am. I'm gonna throw down, you want to party? I will show you how to party. And they're like, take the kids to the car. And it was in a basket with like plastic over it, like, and I just mumbled through it.

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Come on. Bright cardamom and dry papyrus. That's me in a bottle. I gave the deodorant a try. I've never been a cologne guy, but I got some of their cologne. I've been throwing that on. Yeah. Yeah. And people, people like it. I like it. People never liked me in cologne. Well, you haven't tried crema and that is right. Uh, and, uh, man, you gotta

check it out. It's just good stuff. Let's face it. We deserve grooming products from a company with high standards and that's what crema does. And that's what they have head to target or target.com to find Cremo's new line of antiperspirants and deodorants in the Italian bergamot and Palo Santo scents. Once again, that's Target or Target.com. There's so many things that when I look back at my life and I go, I should not have been allowed to do that. Like I shouldn't have been. The first time like with Cable Guy, his first arena show, we're in Raleigh, there's like 18,000 people, right? Packed out. He's like so excited.

I'm out in the parking lot getting drunk with some politician I'm arguing with. I don't even know who he was. And they go, Reno, you got to come in, right? You're going up. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I go up, I do 20 minutes and I go, thank you, good night. And I walk off stage and I'm high five and I'm like, dude, I killed. And Campbell guy looks at me and goes, you didn't bring me up. Like I did, like it was my show. I did 20 minutes to open the show. I walk off. I never introduced him. Thank you guys, drive safe. That was it. 150 bucks for my 20 minutes. I'm out. And he never fired me. Yeah. We'd have gone back out with him. I mean, he should have fired me every day. What did you do in that? Yes, he should have.

In that instance, what did you do? Did you go back up? No. He just walked out. No, they started playing Jerry Reed and then he went up. He thought it was funny afterwards, thank God, but there's not another comedian that I know of that would not have, I mean, he was nervous. His first ever arena show, he's freaking out. He can't find me first of all, because I'm out there like, you don't know, I'll tell you, taxa.

I don't even know what I'm. Just a mess. All right. So Cable Guy, you... By the way, I keep talking about... I have so much flannel in my fingernails from riding that dude's coattails. Every movie I'm in, it's like, Hey, who else was in it? Larry the Cable Guy. What about that other one?

Larry the Cable Guy. Really? What about that wrote Larry the Cable Guy? Like, it's like, I want to say was in it? They're the cable guy. What about that other layer? The cable guy. What really? What about that rope layer? The cable guy. Like, it's like, I want to say somebody else, but I got nothing. That's how you got on this podcast. I know it is. You made a call. You ripped the sleeves off. I was going to go out there with no shirt and just flannel sleeves. shirt and just flannel sleeves. That would be great.

Well, they're late on the bus, but I'm glad you brought them up. Cause the next story. All right. Yeah. So next story. Yeah. I remember driving to the tournament this time and I'm like, I don't know why. I'm sorry. I wonder if Larry the cable guy will be there today.

I mean, it seems like it was a pretty good assumption based on your career, but he had never been there the previous year. So I don't know why this time I was thinking, I bet he's going to be out there and we get out there and we're waiting to tee off. And it's always a little slow at first because everyone's kind of backed up. And I see a guy over there and like, there's the cable guy. And I'm like, I'm gonna go talk to him. He just, and I went over and I started talking to him. And I'm like, I'm gonna go talk to him. He just, and I went over and I started talking to him

and he's got a sunglass on his hat. And I mean, he could not have been nicer. I'm like, this dude is so down to earth and he's great. He act like we're old friends, you know? And I'm like, he's the best. And I was about to name drop Nate, as I tend to do every time I meet a celebrity. Before I could, he was like, man, I'd love to meet Nate.

I have flannel on my fingernails. You have jackets that aren't from here. Exactly. Exactly. And he's like, I'd love to meet Nate. And I was like, I've never met. He's like, no. And I'm like, man, you should come on our podcast. Let me give you Nate's number. And I'm thinking, this is great, man. And then we keep talking. I'm like, I don't know if this is Larry the Cable Guy. I think this might just be a fan. And I keep asking him questions, you know, to try to figure out if it's him or not. I'm like, I've given him all of Nate's personal information. And I think it's better. I avoided the guy the rest of the day because I'm like, I'll give him Nate's social security

number if I'm not careful. I got to stop. So I just skipped the soldier shot. Sorry, day because I'm like, I'll give him Nate's social security number if I'm not careful. I gotta stop. So I just skipped the soldier shot. Sorry, kids. I'm out of here. Dude, first of all, in between all that, Cletus comes over to me and goes, man, I'm going on Nate Lane's podcast. And I go, what? He goes, yeah, I just talked to Brian.

He invited me to come on. He goes, I'm so glad I came up here. I'm like, well, I'm glad you did too. All right. So that, so it ended up I came up here. I'm like, well, I'm glad you did too. And then I feel that. So it ended up being Cletus T. Judd, very funny comedian who act like we're old friends because we are anything like, no, but I don't know. There's a little something.

I see it. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's not like it was, I don't think he was dressed like this. That he had on like sunglasses. It's not like it was Arsenio Hall or something. I mean, it was. It looks like Larry the Cable Guy, if he became a hairdresser. Larry the Cutter Guy.

Man, Cleenus was so excited. He's like, man, this is going to be awesome. I was like, that's great, dude. That's why you come to things like this. You never know who you're going to meet. I mean, it just kind of. Cletus is one of the sweetest dudes though. And when he found out about it, he was like, man, he thought I was Larry the cable.

We got to have him on. We should have him on. We should. Yeah. Did he have Judd on his hat? Like in these pictures when he met him. Brian's like, I like Winona too. Who's your favorite? Winona or Naomi? I like Ashley myself.

It's like a David Cross, Larry the cable guy combo. Yeah. Which would have been fantastic. I think that's what people say you are. Uh, yeah, probably. You say it looked like it was a fun to levy that against somebody else. Yes. It looks like Walmart, Billy Ray.

Yeah, that's exactly what it was. Where I see him like, Hey, get her done. I'm surprised I didn't say that to him, dude. That Brian, that was so food. If you hit him with a getter done, he's like, what? He's like, hit him straight. I'm like, get her done. Did you you revealed to him that day that you thought he was like,

no, I didn't know till I got home that night and I textured Reno. It's like, hey, who is the celebrity in the group in front of us? It was like, clearly judge, you idiot. Never mind. I mean, I remember you telling that story, but that's so funny. Well, I called Nate immediately on the course and said, Hey, are you friends with Larry the KB guy? He's like, Oh, yeah, good friends. I was like, Oh boy.

And I told him what happened. He was like, you couldn't recognize when the most recognizable faces all stand up comment. Yeah. And I'm like, apparently not. I just met Larry the KB guy. He's got this great song. He sings like Shania Twain. It's the most amazing thing you've ever heard.

Dude, Cletus honestly is one of the sweetest guys. Like he really is a good dude and he wasn't mad at you or anything. It was just so funny because, you know, like people get excited about anything with Nate, you know, and you guys it's like, oh man This is gonna be freaking awesome And then you know, I I really enjoyed well I mean cleetus is such a much bigger deal than me that if anybody should be getting some mixed up It should have been him about me. No, dude, but he's look straight out of retirement right at a retirement. I love him. Dude, he was at my house.

He stays at my house like for the thing. And Tom Mabe, you know Tom Mabe? Yeah. So Tom stayed at my house too, cause you know, they're from out of town. So they're both there. Tom is OCD. Like my wife loves when he comes to the house

cause he fixes all the pictures. He straightens everything and he walks around, but he's like elf. Like he doesn't go to bed. Like it was like time to go to bed. And I'm like, all right, good night, Tom. He straightens everything and he walks around, but he's like elf, like he doesn't go to bed. Like it was like time to go to bed. And I'm like, all right, good night, Tommy. He's like, all right, good night. I go in my bedroom, I come out like eight hours later,

he's in the same clothes, sitting in the same chair, like, hey man, what's going on? And I'm like, do you sleep, dude? He's all over the place. So at one point, my wife makes fun of us because she says, anytime comics get in our house, we all go to get into this one-up, they, well, I'll tell you a story and I'll tell you.

So it's just flying around the whole night. And Tom starts telling these stories about Cato Cailin and he's friends with, it's just bizarre. And so out of nowhere, Cletus walks over to my wife and goes, I wanna be honest about Tom. I don't think we can help him. I don't know Tom, I don't think.

Dude, he's out of Cincinnati, Louisville. Yeah, he is the original prank guy. He had like, the stuff he does to does people I don't know how he's still alive like I love him but he goes downtown Louisville and then will sit in a bus like a where the bus stop is and he has a his phone beside him and he acts like he's asleep and people walk by and they see it and then they wait until he's not paying attention they try to steal it and they start running away and it's a taser. Like stuff. Yeah.

He bought a horse and buggy, like went out and bought it, got a horse and dressed up like he was Amish and was driving through, riding it through people's neighborhoods with a map, like with a Domino's pizza delivery thing on top of like, there's something off where you have to be available to do that stuff. One of his best known pranks involved convincing a telemarketer that he had inadvertently called the scene of a homicide. Dude, that's one of the funniest phone calls I've ever heard in my life. Yeah, I got to listen to this. It's hysterical. Yeah. He has no fear. Like I don't have that. Like I don't want to get punched in the face. Like I don't,

but he just doesn't. I hate a prank. I don't mind watching it necessarily, but I don't want to be in. Like if I'd been at your table and you were trying to prank your wife about, I would, I can't do it. I can't be in. You couldn't have lied to her face. No, I can't do it. Well, nobody would check with you about the Backstreet Boys. Yeah. And they said he was in the Oak Ridge Boys, they would ask you about it. Hey, Dusty, do you have that Backstreet Boys t-shirt on? Let's see which one it is. But with me, I think I confirmed it for her. She's like, if anybody would know it, it'd be this guy.

I think you did. Listen to this. 2013, Maeve created a prank video in which he and several accomplices convinced a mutual friend with a history of multiple DUIs that he had just awoken from a 10 year coma resulting from a drunk driving crash. Wow. Have you ever seen the video? No.

Oh dude, the guy loses his mind. Like he's blackout drunk. They turn an office into a hospital room and the guy's blacked out and they carry him up and they put him in the bed. And then the people are, they have actors as like nurses and stuff like that. And they come in and he has kids.

Like they're like, you've been out for 10 years. And the guy's like, man, you gotta be kidding me. What are you talking about? It was great. Can you imagine? Like you wake up hungover and it's like you've been out for 10 years. Ah, gosh. It's kind of nice.

Let me share a little NateLand news with you guys. The Nashville Comedy Festival is coming up. April 8th at the Raaman Auditorium, NateLand presents Good Clean Funny with Ryan Hamilton, Dustin Nickerson, Derek Stroop, Lace Larabee, Mia Jackson, Paula Koshinski, and special host, Aaron Weber. Howdy boy. Yeah man, it's gonna be fun. You wanna sell an extra 20 tickets,

you could put my name on there. Yeah. We don't have time for all your credits. Yeah, I'll be cleaning up. 25 credits and 20, yeah. I'll be cleaning up dip cups on a tour bus. Yeah, I'll be 25 credits and 20. Yeah, I'll be cleaning up dip cups on a tour bus And our buddy Nick Thune has a brand new half-hour special from Nate land called born young Premiered what two three weeks ago three weeks ago, dude. It's so funny Nick's the best. He just did

Mark Maron's podcast I think came we did here yesterday. So yeah, dude, go watch it. Go check it out and The consumers with Greg Warren every Tuesday don't make me come back there at Dustin Nickerson every Thursday. Check out those podcasts as well So let's get it our weekend. I Was home for the most part I did a show woke in my hometown of Lebanon, Tennessee for I was home for the most part. I did a show in my hometown of Lebanon, Tennessee for the Capitol Theater for an organization called Everyone's Wilson fundraiser show. Met some folks there. It was great. Folks is what we call our fans. Was it a fundraiser for Wilson County? Everyone's Wilson County? Well, for the volleyballs.

Or for the guy from Home Improvement. What was it? Or for the guy from Home Improvement. What was it? It's Everyone's Wilson is everyone should be included on prosperity in Wilson County. It's churches that come together to do food drives. A variety of things. So it's a lot of pastors and businesses that donate and things like that. It's a good cause. It's a great cause. I complained about so many people moving to Wilson County that I'm starting not everyone's Wilson to counter them. Yeah, so most people are Wilson. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to do everything's Rutherford. It's just a bunch of chicken shacks and Applebee's.

Yeah, a manufactured home. Does it roll off the tongue? It doesn't. Everybody's Rutherford. It doesn't. That's horrible. And you don't think it's anything else. No. You're not, you're not like what Wilson. It's so vague though, that it just sounds like it's important.

Not the Wilson, but Rutherford, like every, I know the mayor, he built my house. Like everybody, everybody's Rutherford. Yeah. What's the name of the show? Everybody's Rutherford. And everybody from Rutherford's there. And everybody's Rutherford. Yeah. What's the name of the show? Everybody's Rutherford. And everybody from Rutherford's there. And everybody's there. Yeah.

And if you're a part of it, you better be there because it's you. Because you are Rutherford. You are Rutherford. How'd the show go, Brian? Show was great. A lot of fun. The mayor of Wilson County spoke before me and I know him. I'm friends with him because he was a teacher and a coach at my high school when I was growing up. Oh, cool. So it was good to see a lot of baseball

coach or your coach. Not much older than I am. Your coach. No, coach basketball. Let me high school. Okay. Um, did you swipe a couple of those things? I did. I stole a couple of those laundry. Probably haven't even got to it yet. But I thought they were shots. It looks like, it looks like bourbon. Yeah, you can just kind of. Here we go. Back off the wagon fellas.

Let's get into it. I hope this is soap. But anyway, some of the rest of the weekend, my daughter turned three this weekend. We had a big birthday party for, Dusty's kids came, crashed the party. My wife and kids went, you know what? My daughter, my wife said when my daughter got in the car, she goes,

she was like, whoo, that was a good birthday party. Wow. She texted us that we love that. Yeah. Yeah. I've changed a little bit. Just I've even left out birthday. Just, she says that was a good party. I don't know.

Yeah. That could have been it. That could have been what she said. What'd you do? Did you, did you have a clown or something? No, just me, but we had bubbles. Bubbles were a big hit. Bubble guns.

Oh, bubble guns. Both of his kids took home a bubble gun. And I mean, that's like rapid fire. I'm out there with a little wand doing a musket. You're just getting lit up. I'm just getting lit up. AK. Yeah.

And then, you know, just some pizza and chicken nuggets and all you need is kid ate an apple, but the rest of the kids, you know, that's right. How's he fun? That's a good kid. A lot of sugar though. So if you ever want to irritate sugar though, if your kids, like your kids, parents, when my son was like nine years old, we had a food fight birthday party. But the key to it is going into it. Oh yeah. No, this was all on purpose. It was the theme. The key is the parents are told a time to pick their kid up and you make sure the

food fight ends at that time. Cause I had to spray them all down, but it was, we had, they had like scuba masks and snorkel things, whatever. And we set up tables with like spaghetti and pudding and everything's mixed up in these big bowls and you like just yell go. And they just start wailing on each other. And the kids get just trashed. Like there's stuff all over.

And then I just hosed them down and they got their parents. But kids still talk about that. The only thing I'll tell you is, is that Walmart Jell-O will stain your driveway. Like there's something in that that's not good for an art insight. That's good to know honestly.

Yeah, like for art, for your insight, it won't go away for years. That's- Like it looks honestly. Yeah. Like for art, for your insight, it won't go away for years. I look like a rainbow. Something only a select few people know is that Walmart Jell-O will stain your driveway. And I want to get the word out. That's why I'm going to go to everybody's Wilson so that everybody knows.

Everybody. Everyone's Wilson. Yeah. Everyone's Wilson. Listen, you be careful with that Jell-O out on the driveway. Yeah. Everyone's Wilson. Yeah, everyone's Wilson. Listen, you be careful with that Jello out on the driveway. Yeah, it'll stink. Dude, you messed me up so bad. I'm sorry if I'm ADDing out and I'm messing this up.

But so there is a Travis, your bits about the songs, there's a Travis Tritt song that I was listening to when I was coming back from the casino last night. And it's about Bonnie, modern day Bonnie and Clyde. And he says he picks her up in Johnson City, but he's driving up 95 to Richmond. They don't connect. You can't get to 95 from the thing. And I was sitting there going, like, I should tell Dusty then. Yeah. I do that all the time. I'll text him. Have you heard this line?

Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, it's a long way to Richmond, rolling up on 95. You're going the wrong way, buddy. Yeah, you picked her up in Johnson City, you would have had to drive all the way to the coast and then cut up. It would have taken you, there's no reason. Why would you rob cigarettes

and then have to drive all the way across when you could clearly cut up six to 64? Trying to cover your tracks, I guess. I don't know. I don't think Bonnie and Clyde had it all together. But don't want to drive it in a straight line if you're committing committing crimes, but you can't get to it. Like you can't get from you'd have to take 26. It's irritating to me now. And I never would have even thought about that. If I hadn't listened to us, these bits. Well, it's a yeah. I mean, that's what happens to me too. Now I listen to everything like that everything

I'm like I enjoy it, but I'm still picking it apart. Yeah, is that picking it apart? Yeah, so they get arrested at the end. Yeah. Yeah, okay, but suddenly they're on 95 95 goes I don't know why this is I mean that is up the coast. It's straight down the coast Yeah, and he's way over here in Johnson City. You can't do it. He had to cross at least a full, he had to go all the way across North Carolina. And numerous back roads to cut straight across.

Yeah. Seems a little wordy, but. Yeah. Yeah. And this was all in a firebird. Yeah, and you'd think, I mean, I know it rhymes, but you know, fix it. It's like Alan Jackson.

I think there's a lot of fives though. I mean, there's plenty of five interstates. Did you ever do a bit about- 95, 75, 65. No, but Tennessee has to rhyme with call and me too. Yeah. So he skipped right over it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's pretty tough. Writing songs is hard. It's not easy. When Alan Jackson- Travis Stratt's great. When Alan Jackson rhymed Tulsa and salsa, I lost my mind, I'm like, I'm out. I'm done, I'm not listening to him anymore.

And I love Alan Jackson, but as soon as I was like, this is the dumbest, you couldn't, of everybody in Nashville, you couldn't find somebody, you just dropped a load of salsa. Yeah, it's a lot of salsa. Who delivered, who has truck, have you ever seen a truck full of salsa?

I don't think so. You got the song? I love this song. Yeah, well I answered him and he asked me, aren't you from out in Tulsa? No, but you might've seen me there. I just dropped a load of salsa. That is the worst.

This song has some wilder lyrics than that. I'm telling you that. It sounds like a new comic tried to be funny. That's their line. Wow. No, but you might've seen me there. I just dropped a load of salsa. What song is this? This is where I come from. Oh, where I come from, yeah. Yeah, you could just pick a different city name and a different thing you drop off. And a different thing you drop off. Chickens or cows or, who delivers salsa? Is salsa important to the story at all? No.

Okay. There's no chips. There's nothing. Yeah. Pickens. South Carolina. Isn't there pickens? Aren't you from pickens?

No, you might've seen me. I just dropped off a load of chicken. Yeah. Boom. That's so much better than Tulsa and salsa. There's a famous one, T-Pain has a song. He said, I'll put you in a mansion somewhere in Wisconsin. At that point you just lean into it. You're like, but is he saying Wisconsin

like somebody from Wisconsin would say it? Wisconsin, Wisconsin. I maybe, maybe there's more to it than meets the ear. Yeah. It's, sorry for you, Aaron. You can't do that You can't do that AI that's why AI is gonna take over all songwriting. T-Pain can sing though, too, huh? Yeah, he's got a good voice. He's good musician. What did he put? He put out something that everybody was sharing a while back He did a tiny desk concert without auto-tune and everybody's like, oh he can sing You can even tell the auto-tune songs you can tell he can sing a little bit What was that? I don't know.

He put out, so I feel like it was a country song. He's been messing around with a, he's a lot of stuff, dude. Yeah. A lot of people are taking over country. Finally, I'm getting some good musicians in there. Oh my gosh. I know you're kidding, dude. I know, I know.

I'm getting dusty. Okay. Yeah. That's the, you got an ally at the table. You do have an ally. This stuff, it looks like a shampoo commercial. The whole mess of it is garbage. I don't even go downtown Nashville anymore.

I don't like rap. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, long gone are the days where we have talking about Tulsa and salsa. Yeah. You know, this is a simpler time. But that, that, with that, take that out. And then the rest of it.

Yeah. I just watched that Opry 100 special. You did the Opry, right? I used to. Well, I said past tense. Yes, I did. And then I got in trouble. So I'm not on it anymore. I wanted to get t-shirts made up that said like cash Williams Presley call your band from the

Should I know I'm going to yeah, but I still in the back of my mind I still want to do it again because the P it's not the operas fault the operas freaking awesome yeah, it was three people from New York that all tagged humana and It was three people from New York that all tagged Humana and Put and tagged the Opry and was talking about something that I said and I joke hill. Yeah I mean it was it but it's here's the thing It's not the Oprys fault. Yeah, they they have a brand the Oprys up a million times bigger than me They don't need me. There's no reason for me to even be there. It's I don't blame them I'm not mad at them.

I freaking love them. And I'd go back on the best. Our next sponsor, you know, we love delete me. It's our old pal. Delete me makes it easy, quick and safe to remove your personal data online at a time when surveillance and data breaches are common enough to make everyone vulnerable. You ever been a part of one of those? I mean, your information is just out there.

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joindeleteeme.com slash Nate and enter code Nate at checkout. That's joindeleteeme.com slash Nate, code Nate. Leanne Morgan was telling me about how you were doing a church and you were freaking out about it. Yeah. And she told you just to share your testimony. Well, yeah. But I wrote a joke about myself making up, because I was like, I don't have a testimony if I had to go do this. I've never

had the drinking problems that weak people have. So, I'm not weak like you guys, so I'm like, what can I do? So, I wrote this joke about making up a fake testimony at this church based off her telling me about you. And I've told it twice at the Opry and the guy who followed me, which is probably the odds aren't that slim, had a real addiction problem and goes out and shares his testimony. The first time I didn't know the guy, he was making his Opry debut and everyone gave him a standing ovation for it. And then the second I was T. Graham Brown.

Oh my gosh, turned the wine back into water? That's his song. That was Jesus. No, I know, but he sings a song where he's praying, asking Jesus, I heard you turn the wine into water. Turn the wine back into water. 1998.

That's a song that stuck in my head when I started getting sober. But anyway, tell me again, Mr. Strong Pants, about what you did. Well, anyway, after the second time of like, it sounds like I'm mocking these guys, that I'm like, I just need to at least stop telling that joke at the Opry.

Where's my phone? I'm gonna tag the Opry in Humana. I don't mind that with what Brian did. Tag T. Graham Brown. So, you had planned to do this testimony testimony joke and then this guy went before you. No, I actually went first and then he goes out after me. That's so much worse. Dude, people are crying when they, I've seen T. Graham Brown at the, at the Opry and people

cry when he talks about his testimony. Yeah. See that's why. Maybe you teed him up. You did. You did. Yeah. Yeah. Finally a guy with some real problems. Right.

It says he got inducted as a member of the Opry in 2024. Was this on the night his inductee night that he did this? Brian standing on the side of the stage, weee! Weee! Just don't drink. I don't get it. Just don't do it. Sorry, you just can't have one T. Graham Brown.

Nobody applauds me for being strong. That's right. I hear you, buddy. So where were you this weekend? I was at Harris Casino in Cherokee, North Carolina. Yeah. And it was awesome. And I love that place. Second straight week, we've mentioned Cherokee, North Carolina on this podcast. I wasn't there doing comedy, just gambling. No, I was that place. Second straight week, we've mentioned Cherokee, North Carolina on this podcast. Last week- This wasn't there doing comedy, just gambling.

No, I was there. Yeah, I was there. Yeah. I mentioned last week, I went skiing one time and I think it was in Cherokee, North Carolina. It's beautiful, man. It's beautiful. And the golf course, Sequoia National is killer.

Yeah. And they let you play all day if you do shows up there. So I'd go up there and- That's great. Yeah. You know, one time when I was still drinking, we were in that part of North Carolina, me and my dad and my quest at mom.

And I was really like, my dad doesn't really drink and I really wanted to drink. So I was like, hey, why don't we go check out this casino? I never been in a casino before, and I hadn't. And I was like, I'd like to go in there. And my thought was, you know, I'll go in there and then I'll get a couple of beers while I'm walking around in here and then there's no alcohol in there It's totally dry and though and the one that I was in was totally dry. I know this one people were hammered

This was this was you know Probably 15 years ago. Maybe they, I remember I snuck my kid. I couldn't get one. Are you sure? Yeah, man, I tried. You don't think they were hiding from you? I don't know, but.

Maybe they didn't used to, but they do now, man. And maybe I'm thinking about a different place. Maybe they've changed the liquor a while since then. Yeah. But I was pretty disappointed. I'll tell you this. I read the Pepsi thing, shaking. Yeah. I was pretty disappointed. Do you remember we did Mother's Day at the Harris casino in, in Harris, Michigan. Yeah. And I saw the Mother's Day buffet at

the, at the, at the casino was, I mean, just kind of a sad site. That's a sad casino. Yeah. It really upper peninsula of Michigan, a casino Island resort and casino. Uh, just it's a sad spot on mother's day. Yeah. I mean, it's just the doing a Sunday. It's still daylight.

There's skylights wide open in there. You can't, you know, you can see the sun rays coming through the smoke in there. And oxygen tanks. Yeah. And then there was a biker ball, biker gang in there. I don't know if they were a gang, but there was a lot of them. Yeah. And they were heckling us the whole time. And no other day. No one was doing anything about it. I had to eventually say to the guy, clearly, no one's going to do anything about this. Yeah. So I just want to tell a couple of jokes.

That's all I wanted to. But the shows were good this weekend? Yeah, they were great. I sold a ton of books and I mean, I'm not here to plug. No, but I'd like to hear about the book. I just want to say, I talked to Adrian before this. It's not, it's like PG-13. I did it, I said it all on the radio. I talked to Adrian before this. It's not, it's like PG-13.

I did it, I said it all on the radio. It's not for kids that are 10. Yeah. So it's, here's what it is. It's called Country Fried Takes. It's also got a bunch of recipes in the back, like ribs and steaks and chili and spaghetti sauce. So it's, if you look in it,

there's no writing on that side, when I read a book I don't like bending it sounds like it's my book I'm just not gonna put them in there and so there's nothing on that side and then I throw out the whole book yeah through the whole book when I'm laying in bed and I gotta go like this to get to it I'm like I'm just not gonna have it in there and then I did though I did the artwork and the publisher's like why don't you use AI and I'm like, I'm just not going to have it in there. And then I did the, I did the artwork and the publisher is like, why don't you use AI? And I was like, because I'm not a communist. So then on the back.

I do like that it's, it's rather thin and you. It would have been a pamphlet. It would have been a pamphlet. I didn't want to say that, but I was. No, you can say it. It's only half of that. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that's still a good book. Yeah.

The writing's small. And then on the hey, hey, hey, that's still a good book. Yeah, yeah. The writing's small. And then on the back of it, it looks weird, but it says how to kill your best friend. And that's not, has nothing to do with the book, but it's so when you lay it on the back of the toilet and your buddy comes over and he's going to the bathroom, he's looking at it going, am I his? Yeah.

See what I mean? Wow, that's great. Little giggler in here. Little Tom mate. That's fun. Little prank. Yep. And yeah, and they are...

You tell all your friends before they go to the bathroom, you go, hey, you're my best friend. You're my best friend. Thanks for coming over, dude. I don't say this a lot, but you're my best friend in the whole world. And these are only $185, so. Get in that bathroom.

It only locks from the outside. It's also weird. This lady told me she was sitting in the airport, not thinking about it. So when you hold it like this, it's upside down. And she goes, this she was sitting in the airport not thinking about it. So when you hold it like this, it's upside down and she goes, this guy was sitting across from me going like, Oh yeah, that's fun. Yeah.

So you can get them at Reno call your comedy.com if you want one. Awesome. Awesome. Yeah, they were fun, man. They're funny and you know, blah, blah, blah. Sell a book. Well, I was up in a, do you sell a lot of books at the shows? Okay.

I probably sold a hundred and something in four. I ran out Friday, but it's Bob and Tom people that know the, that like listened to the show. So it's the best ones of the whole year coming up, like every day or whatever. So it was fun, man. I mean, it's just fun to, you fun to be like, I'm an author. Yeah. Another credit.

Another credit. 700 credits, 250 tickets sold. He is something else. He was on the Jack Parr show. Can you believe it? Where were you, Aaron? I was in a Nate Land country, Boston, Massachusetts. All right. How was it?

Brian and Dusty were there last weekend when I was here this past weekend. I was in Hartford on Thursday, Boston. Shows are great. Two of them sold out. Nice, man. It was just awesome. I had a thing thing I was flying from

Where are we flying to I? Was flying from Los Angeles as in Los Angeles last week did some podcasts and stuff It's five from LA to Hartford five a.m. Flight, and I get there They're like just about to open the pre-check line. That's how early it is in the morning So there's two lines for- This is the Hartford airport? No, this is LAX. Okay.

Which is just awful. Just so bad. I mean, I had to return a rental car. It was just terrible. But there's two lines for me. One is for the general security. And then the other is for the pre-check. And they haven't opened the pre-check and they haven't opened the pre-check line yet so there's a line for me. So this dude, it's like four in the morning, this dude walks up, suit on, backpack and he's like in a hurry in a way that's kind of annoying, like we all want to get on our flight dude. And he walks up and he goes, pre-check, pre-check and they go, oh yeah, well the general boarding

is open but pre-check, pre-check. And they go, oh yeah, well, the general boarding is open, but pre-check's not open yet. And he goes, okay. And then he walks like he's going to go to general boarding. And then he kind of looks around and then walks over and goes through pre-check. Wow. Cuts probably 150 people. I love this guy.

Belatantly cuts. We all see it. And I just got, I was struck by what a bonding experience it was with these strangers around. We talked about them for probably 20 minutes in line, just making fun of them, laughing at them. And then like, we hope he gets, you know, we hope he, uh, his flight's delayed and just talking about this guy. We hope his flight's delayed. Yeah. Or hope like he gets pulled at security or something. I mean, his flight goes down and then he goes to some private lounge and eats caviar and waits for probably. Yeah. He's like, he's like, who are those people?

Now, dude, we won in life in the grand scheme of things, dude. We did it right. You know, did you see him at, in the airport again? And I was looking for him so hard, dude. I wish he right. You know, did you see him at the, in the airport again at all? I was looking for him so hard, dude. I wished he was on my flight. I would have said something to him. You should have cut him.

Yeah. In line. We'll just follow him out there. Yeah. Fly somewhere else just to spy him. Yeah. No, you here, you're in line here getting the food?

The only way he could have got up there is because he pretended to be general boarding and then cut the line. You don't see people pretend to be general boarding that often. You know what I mean? This guy is a real businessman. I mean, it would have annoyed me at the time, but I honestly, I might've saw it and go, Oh, I'd probably do that too.

Things like that used to upset me, but I remember everybody's Wilson. Everyone's Wilson. Everyone's Wilson. I'm going to get it. Everyone is. At least one time in our life, we are, we are Wilson. We are all Wilson. Everyone's Wilson. Everyone's Wilson. I'm going to get it. Everyone is. At least one time in our life, we are Wilson. We are almost. You are Wilson, yeah, once or twice. But other than that, I mean, it was just, I almost hugged the people I was in line with when we got through security. It was such a bonding experience. So I'm grateful for that guy.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, he brought you guys together. In a weird way, I'm thankful that- He was an angel., yeah, he brought you guys together in a weird way. I'm thankful that he was an angel. He did what he did. He might've been an angel. God sent him. These angels come through every now and then we'll do stuff like that. But other than that, unbelievable weekend.

Had fun in LA, had fun in Hartford, Connecticut, and then Boston was great. And a lot of people said they saw both of y'all last week. All right. So people triple dip in, in the the in the course of two weeks. That's pretty crazy. Did they say what show they like the best? I did ask him and I'll tell you after we get off. Okay. After the podcast. Okay. The... Well they were like yeah then Nate's doing I don't know wherever the Celtics play. Right. He's doing there so they're gonna go see that. Doesn't mean it's a better show. No.

And I said, look, Nate's not waiting in the lobby after the show to say hi to you. You know, I'm either as dusty. No, I know. Yeah. I gave it right home. Nobody's cutting in front of Nate. Yeah.

That might've been Nate. You can't tell he wears clothes from somewhere. Not for around here. Yeah. What about you, Des? I went to Texas. Yeah. Yeah. Not from around here. Yeah. Not from here. Not from around here. That's so funny. Yeah. What about you, Dustin?

I went to Texas. I did two. I went to Beaumont. Sounds right. Texas and San Antonio, Texas. Both really great shows. I sent you guys the text. Beaumont, I did an hour, 25 minutes on stage.

Boom. New record. Yeah. San Antonio, hour 22. But, uh. They gotta step it up in San Antonio. Yeah. But I, um, in Beaumont, it was really great. They both were very great.

Uh, I don't know if very great is a way you can phrase it. You can say it, yeah. Very great. But there were a lot of coughing going on in Beaumont in the audience. And I got a cough. What kind of people? I got a coughing joke I like to do. And then I referenced Nate Land.

I said, I do a podcast called Nate land. A lot of people cheered. And then I said, there's a guy on there named Brian Bates and he coughs a lot. And I always tell him he should smoke because he coughs so much and he doesn't smoke. Smoking might help him. Did that laugh more than I didn't know about

the same, but I want you to know I'm talking about you. I appreciate that. Some people messaged me. That was the end of the joke. It was trailing off at that point. But I was like, I can't get back into the act. But you know, when I mentioned the podcast on stage, I always say, Brian, I don't know if this has gotten back to you yet, but I haven't done it in a while.

So I might as well tell you, I go, I do a podcast with, uh, Nate Barghetti is a famous comedian and, uh, Dusty Slay is becoming a famous comedian. Just the three of us hanging out and, uh, and dude, Pete, and sometimes people will be like, Oh, come on, don't do that to Brian. And then they'll come up to me after the show and be like, well, that was, I mean, can't believe you did that, you know, but that's how I say it. Oh, because it makes me laugh. So Dusty's doing the opposite.

And now I think that the three minutes that I didn't do in San Antonio was probably the three minutes I spent talking about your golf. I helped you set a record. Yeah. They're great. You know what? I love San Antonio, the city. It's a very nice place. It's really cool. I like it a lot. Antonio, the city. It's a very nice place.

I like it a lot. It's very great. It's a smoke friendly city too. You can really smoke wherever you want there, which I like. I was there with Nate in San Antonio and we were walking downtown San Antonio and a guy in the park ahead of us, some kids, pulled a gun out and started shooting just randomly. And you know, last week on the podcast, all that friendship, Nate said, I take a bullet for any of you guys.

I can tell you firsthand, he wouldn't. He took off running before I even realized what was going on. He threw you ahead. He's like, my life's clearly more important, Brian. Block these bullets. It really is a nice city. I didn't experience any of that. It's so beautiful down by the river walk.

And then they were shooting at us. It's good to take your kids. Yeah. There was a homeless guy on, uh, I don't know if he was homeless, but he was dirty, some stuff going on and he goes, he goes, I'm on river walk. He's like, Hey, you, uh, hey, you, you that, what is it? You that free bird guy? The free bird guy?

And I go, yeah. And he goes, how's that, how's that solo go? And I just wanted to be like, I have bad news for you. I don't know if you've been out here since the 70s, but that band's dead. That was an awful place. Oh, he thought you were Lynyrd Skynyrd. I guess so.

Yeah, the guy Lynyrd Skynyrd. Yeah. You were the whole band. Lynyrd. He's clearly CJed. That's right. Yeah. That's awesome.

And then Nate texted us that he's down to 56 minutes now. So. Yeah. So you're doing a full 30 minutes. And I'm doing a club this weekend. So I don't know if I'll be able to do it. Whoa. I'm doing, I asked for, so I don't know if I'll be able to do it. Whoa. I asked for some club, doing the Virginia Beach

Funny Bone, I asked to do some clubs, because I'm working on a new hour, so I want to get in there. That's nice. And so I don't know if I'll be able to do an hour. We're going to find, speaking of Virginia Beach, I mean, what a segue. Is that why we're doing it?

No, we're doing Virginia, well, we guys, we haven't done the comments. Oh. Sorry, I was pumped. We were way behind. we haven't done the comments. Oh, sorry. I was pumped. We're way behind. I was proud of that segue I just pulled together. This was a heavy first part of the podcast. It's very funny.

Let's get started with the comments. All right. Who wants to read them? You want to do it? I'll read them. I'll read them. Okay. All right.

Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews. Yeah. Chime in whenever you want. naitland a bar, gatsby.com Scott. Boy. What do you think? Navel. Navel. I think you gotta go.

Can a full, you don't put the K in there like that. How many words do you do the K in the end? Do you say them both like that? I don't know any knife. Can I, yeah. Can I, that's right. I was a PE teacher. Yeah. Knife. That's right. I was a PE teacher too. Knife. Knit. It's Scott's. Scott. Knifle. Are PE teachers real people? Yeah. I was one. I'm not gonna-

Were you really a PE teacher? Oh yeah. The old look. Yeah. Yeah. I used to bartend at the punchline in Atlanta. They were like, Miss Collier. Yeah. I used to bartend at the punchline in Atlanta. They were like, Ms. Collier. Yeah. Are you the field hockey coach? All right, boys, line up. This picture right here. Right there.

All right, girls, let's play some volleyball. Did you have a whistle around your neck and everything? No. Okay. No, what I did have was a hangover, because I bartended at the punch line at night and then teach during the day. And I'd have to stand outside in Atlanta, sweating booze out.

And these kids were like, you smell like my dad. You're like Kenny Powers. I wasn't a good teacher. Dude, here's what happened. I taught for a summer. I happened to walk in and apply for the job the day the other guy got fired. So it was kind of like, okay, just let's go. Can you do summer school? Absolutely. Let's go. So I did one summer, a full year, another summer. School was about to start. I had like three weeks booked on the road

making like 175 bucks a week. And I'm like, I'm a comedian. And I ditch my apartment. I go in to tell the, it was a private school, to tell the headmaster, you know, like I'm out. I'm not gonna be there for the next year. And I go in, he's sitting there. I'm not making this up. He's got a paper like this and his glasses are down. And I walk in and I go, hey man, I didn't pay attention to like how much time I'm supposed to give you

before I bail, right? But I just booked three weeks on the road and to like, you know, Calif, Florida Yeah, and Savannah, Georgia, Hollywood Like I think I think I think I'd like to bail on this man to give it a shot. He goes like this All right Like stay for two weeks or anything. Like I must not have been good at all. Like, cause these kids had to go through state.

I don't mean to take this thing over. Is it all? Is this what you're here to do it? I didn't, I didn't. What are you asking him for? He didn't do anything. I'm sorry, Brian. Let me touch you to be the one running this.

He like, I didn't, I didn't think when you teach school like that and you're a, I've totally forgot what I was talking about. I interrupted you. This is why we follow the script. No, I tried to play it up and I was going like, just start, just talk long enough and it'll come back to you. And it just never does.

I'm sorry. But in your head you think like, well, I'm going to have to, when I quit this job, I'm going to have to train the next guy and all that stuff. Yeah, I didn't have anything. And he's like, dude, we'll replace you in 20 minutes. Yeah, like, like, like it's better not even to have anybody than for you to come back.

You know what I mean? But the kids, I know what I was gonna say, but the kids had to go through standardized testing to get into the school. So PE, English was a second language for a lot of them. And I'm trying to explain games to them and they're not, and I'm like, just pick that ball up and hit him in the head with it. And they're like, oh, I don't know. I'm like, just pick that ball up and hit him in the head with it.

Like, and they're like, oh, I don't know. I'm like, pick it up and hit him. You saved them from having to get rid of you. I did. I saw I'm a giver. I thought I was helping out for the students. I mean, if we're going to take care of these kids. The students were probably into you.

Yeah. Oh, they loved me. Yeah. And the teacher that had the kids after me hated me, uh, cause they'd go in there so amped up and you know, it was fun man. But apparently I wasn't very good. I love that. Uh, Scott Naples, I'm a middle school PE teacher and hearing all of dusty stories

about when he was young and getting kicked out of places, fighting, drinking, smoking, and all of his shenanigans. Seeing the way he's turned out does give me hope for some of these kids today. Well, you don't know that well, Scott. I'll say this though. A lot of the kids I was hanging out with, they did not turn out the same. So one of those kids will be all right. And I did get in trouble a lot in PE.

I was, yeah. So I was not very athletic and I was real malby. Always been. Is that why you're malby? Because you were frustrated So I was not very athletic and I have, I was real Maldy. Always been. Is that why you're Maldy? Cause you were frustrated with you weren't. No, I don't know. I'm probably just frustrated with a lot of things. If you were like the best kickball player in the school, you probably

would have had a better attitude. You may be right. Maybe I did a lot of four square. Remember that game? Yeah. And the ball, would you go to school in the thirties? Yeah. I had a little paddle with a ball at the end of it. I was ranked in red Rover, red Rover in the 11th grade.

Four squares, crazy. You remember that game? Yes, dude. From the ball? Yeah. Yeah. Jax? Do you remember Jax?

Jax! Remember that? I was so good. I do remember that. You step on one of those things with those shoes on it. Yeah. Manny McBride, dairy farmer here. I can confirm that cows are friends.

They're very habitual animals going to the same place to eat every day, lying in the same stall every day, et cetera, and typically hang out with the same social circle. There's a pecking order in every herd and usually a boss cow who runs the show. Studies like these help us understand how to make life more comfortable for our animals, like reducing stress by putting them in pens with their friends. Or killing the one that's a bully. You know? It's like, yeah.

Picking which ones to kill first. Hmm. Right. Oh, these are dairy cows. Yeah. That's dope. You can do what, yeah. Picking which ones to kill first. Oh, these are dairy cows. Yeah. That's still do what you want. Still. You're hungry.

You're hungry. You know, that's what my dad always says about milk, about chick-fil-a cows. He's always like, it's dairy cows trying to get you to eat chicken. He's like, they don't even, they're not even in danger. I never thought about that. I met the guy. I met the guy. I met the guy who came up with that advertising campaign.

Or at least he told you he did. No, well, he worked at the company that did. He was part of the team and originally, originally they were brown cows. And then they did a bunch of testing and the black and white just played better. They just register as cows more quickly to people. But they did think about that and most people don't care. But it is funny when those aren't even the cows that were. Yeah, they're not even in danger. I never thought of that. I always feel so bad for the guy standing out on the side of

the road in the cow thing because it's so hot. And you know he's in there like, dude, I should have really paid more attention. like, you know what I mean? I would have done that when I was younger, but not wet, like you'd get irritated and you swing in the sign and people are yelling at you and flicking cigarettes. And they're already going to Chick-fil-A. I mean, that's what I do. Flicking cigarettes at the Chick-fil-A. You know what I mean? It's crazy.

No, I wouldn't. God bless you, buddy. I wouldn't do it. Try to ring the eye. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Smoke this cow. No, it's a 13 year old homeschooled kid in there. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Hey, by the way, I do not flick cigarettes

at the Chick-fil-A. Yeah. Just before anybody. If the op's the last thing I need to do cigarettes at the Chick-fil-A before anybody. If the, if the last thing I need to see, the operas listening. Have you ever, have you ever seen one of those and been like, I'm going to go in because of that, like a Jiffy lube. You're like, oh, here's a guy throwing a sign. I need an old change.

It's always like, sometimes it's a guy. I just want to meet a guy. I just want to meet him. Like a guy. I like to get my taxes done. Yeah. In taxes. Statute of Liberty. Who's doing their taxes on an impulse? I might as well pull in and do my taxes.

I got all my W-2s here. It's like car wash is the only thing that makes sense. Or an old change, maybe. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I guess so. But if it's a high effort thing like tack. Riding around looking for an old change.

Where's that guy with that sign? Just driving by passing them. No Jiffy Lube, no Jiffy Lube. The sub guy, have you ever seen the guy that they make dress up as a pickle? No, like there's a pickle guy in Murfreesboro. That's only in Murfreesboro. I know. We don't, we're- Everybody's a pickle guy in Murphy's borough. That's only in Murphy's borough. I know we don't we're everybody's rutherford everybody's rutherford. That's right.

There's a pickle guy in Murphy's. Yeah. What is it? There's a Statue of Liberty guy. There's a pickle guy. We have the Chick-fil-A cow guy. Um, we have a lot of signed spinners in Murphy's. What is the pickle guy for? Just a sub place. Oh, okay. They intertwined. He was a pickle. First he was a sub and then I think it's a pickle. It's green. Cucumber maybe?

I don't know. Yeah. Cucumber doesn't sell subs. But not like a whole pickle. It's a whole pickle. He's gonna put a whole pickle on a sub though. He's not a slice. I thought I may like to sign.

He's not a slice. It might be a dirty hot dog. What if they... It's a gross bratwurst. He washed it with the wrong stuff and it turned great. That's the nastiest, it's at a gas station. It's a green hot dog. It's so interesting, I don't know if you'd associate

a full pickle with a sandwich like that. I've never eaten in there, but I see him and I feel for him. Don't you? I mean, honestly, like- Are his arms out in it? Yeah. Oh, okay. He has arms and there's a fake face. I hate to think about him arms in-

I don't feel sorry for him. You don't? Why is that? Nah, he applied for a job and they were like- No, I agree. Do you want to do the costume? And he's like, yeah, I like the outside. Yeah, but the pickle, like even a sub, but a pickle? I feel like you'd rather be in costume

than not in costume if you're out on the street. Is his face visible in it? Like, no. Oh, okay. Then yeah, it's not that bad. But his arms have green sleeves. What kind of shoes? Just kind of shoes. I can't remember his shoes, man. Take a look next time.

I'm curious whether it fits the look or not. Maybe they can be a little garlic cloves. Cause you make, make pick a homemade peg. Would you put a little garlic clove in there? Yeah. His arms are Dill. I can't think of his shoes. That's probably meant to be.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. This episode is brought to you by IQ bar or exclusive snack sponsor. Aaron, you like snacks? I mean, yeah. IQ bar is the better for you. Plant proteins, protein-based snacks made with brain busting nutrients to refuel, nourish

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Okay. Well, just to give us- Oh, we'll save these comments. Yeah. Was there one you wanted to- No, no, no, no, no, no. All right. Kelly Renee, I'm a recent neuroscience grad based on my knowledge of internal processes

of brain tissue. All right. I do believe that there's more to the effects of Bluetooth headphones on our brain than we know so far. There are at least a couple of ongoing research studies at the moment on this. So all we can do is wait to read about their findings. Dusty, I'm with you on this one. Yeah.

I mean, it seems like we're finding more and more of these people, aren't we, that are on track with what I'm talking about out here. I just, you got one Bluetooth in here and then you put the other one in here and it's communicating with each other. We hope that it's going over the top, but it could just be going right. Are they communicating with each other or are they communicating with your phone? Unless your phone's in the middle of your head. I don't think the second one, at least on any Bluetooth speakers I've ever had, Are they communicating with each other or are they communicating with your phone? Unless your phone's in the middle of your head. I don't think the second one, at least on any Bluetooth speakers I've ever had, the second one doesn't work unless you have that first one.

The one of them sometimes will work, but the second one... But it's telling the device to not play it. It's not telling... I think that second one communicates with the first one. I mean, I'm not saying they're not communicating, but what you're describing is not that well, yeah. It's like when you when you have that, like for me, I had a Bose, I had a set of Bose headsets and I love them. I love that. Yeah. You put the right one in and it works. You can do it by itself. If you put the left one in by itself, it won't work. It needs that one. So I think that one's communicating with the phone.

This one's communicating with this one. And you think it's going straight through your head? Yeah. Yeah? I started to get Vertigo. I haven't really had any problems since I stopped using those headsets. And I mean, I love them.

I'm not trashing Bose. Right. Everybody's doing it. I love those speakers, but I even actually bought Bose wired headphones. I love them. I have many Bose products. Bose is not even a sponsor, but I just want them to know. I love them. You love Bose.

But I don't like the Bluetooth wireless headphones. Okay. You just use them twice and you can't do math anymore. Yes. Yes, exactly. Got you. But I- He pees his pants every time I turn on the microwave. Well, I was doing that before, but-

Yeah. Uh, Joe McQueen- But thank you, Kelly. Dusty, you said your personal best was recently 81 minutes, but my wife and I saw you in Cleveland last year and you did 90. Either way, we're having a good time. Well, you know what? The Cleveland show. I forget about that because I didn't have my timer set

So I didn't know exactly how long it was But that Cleveland show was really long and I had a great time that Cleveland show was so hot Yeah, it was one of my favorite shows. I've done in a long time super hot. How about that a theater and a real? Sketchy part like I even made the joke I go, I'm not that familiar with Cleveland, but this seems like a safe spot here, huh? And everybody laughed and thanks for risking your lives to be here tonight. But it was great.

And I was, it was really great. Cleveland's a fun town. It's a good comedy town. It's so good. It's so good. Yeah. So good. Jenna Obey, it's weird that Dusty's getting any pushback

after about planting fruit trees. What is this? Is this the Dusty Show? I'm in for it though. Groceries. I know this is locked in as you've been in a long time. I know. I love me some meat.

Yeah. Listen, that's what our whole profession is. You know what I mean? Absolutely. You showed me a selfless comedian and... Dude, I'm gonna start saying what you said. Like I'm doing the clubs, you know, just to work on new material.

Yeah, exactly. Why are you go... I'm just here to work on new material. Well, I want people to know, you know. For what? For the next club I do. Yeah. I'm running my hour right now.

I don't want people to think the theaters aren't going well. Right. You know what I mean? When people go, I'm running my hour right now. I don't want people to think the theaters aren't going well. Right. You know what I mean? When people go, I'm running my hour this weekend. It's like, what are you doing, huh? What else are you doing? Running my hour. Yeah, me too.

And I do like the Virginia Beach Funnyville. Okay. It's a good club. Last time I was there. It's just below you a little bit. He's just doing them a favor. They are so lucky to have you. Man, it's great to come back into the clubs.

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After your purchases, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you the naitland podcast it's time to make laundry day the best day of the week uh groceries are insanely expensive right now if everyone had a fruit tree they could eat their own fruit and take care of their families a little better we trade around my town because it's hard out here right now and we all know it. If someone is making their own bread, they can trade it for a dozen eggs with their neighbor. Jenna gets it. That's what I'm talking about. I'm just saying in the neighborhood that I live in, instead of all these ornamental trees, what if we all had fruit trees? Everybody in the neighborhood

just had one fruit tree. Yeah. I'm going to throw it to Serge as the next comment. I'd like to read what he has. Okay, go ahead. I don't usually agree with Dusty, and this is no exception. It's my kind of guy, Serge. Planting fruit trees everywhere seems like a great idea to an idiot, except that most fruits, I added that, except that most fruits aren't native to where they're being grown, so it takes a lot of water to raise. They also don't support the local ecosystems like native plants do. Yeah. Well, let's get native fruit trees.

Yeah, but you get monkeys living in there. It's going to get weird on your neighborhood. Come on, Serge. Let's get native fruit trees. What if you live under power lines? What's a native fruit tree to Tennessee? What could you? Yeah.

I mean, you would have to, you know, I don't know, look it up, but yeah. Steak. But there's got to be native fruit trees. So we'll get that. Apple trees would seem like a logical choice. So look, Tennessee, your options are pawpaws, paracimans, black cherries and Chickasaw plums. I've been called all those. Great. Well, great. You never know who you'll see at the opera. Yeah. Open for Chickasaw plug this weekend.

I mean, great. Okay. Who couldn't use some of those? A pawpaw also known as the Appalachian banana, it's a large oblong fruit with a pronounced scent. I've never heard of this. I've never heard of this. I've had a pronounced scent a couple of times. I don't like the words, Apple legend banana.

There's something wrong fundamentally about that. Yeah, here they are. I mean, they don't really look like bananas, but I mean, yeah. I mean, the whole point is, yeah, I mean, search. I mean, that's the pickle guy. He's probably a pop ball. Did you don't even know? It wouldn't be great if that's what he was.

And I thought he was a pickle. I'm an Appalachian banana. What do you think? I am moron. I'm native to my region. Chickasaw plum. But yeah, I mean, this is the type of negativity that keeps anything moving forward. That's positive.

This guy goes. Well, this is how life works. This guy. Is you need a dreamer like you, and then you need somebody reasonable to pull you back a little bit. So you don't agree with that at all? There needs to be a little, there needs to be a guy going, Hey, I love where your head's at, but let's apply this to reality a little bit.

Yeah. But this he's not living in reality. We just found four local. No, no, no. That's not what he's saying. He's saying, cause if you had your way, every, every house in Nashville would have orange trees and pear trees and pineapple trees. Yeah. And he's going, not pine.

Obviously, obviously you don't grow things that are not going to produce fruit. So that. And he's going- Well, not pineapples. Obviously, you don't grow things that are not gonna produce fruit. That's all he's saying. You gotta dial it back. There's plenty of fruit trees that will grow here and produce fruit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're out your depth on this one, Dave.

I'm going with surge. There's plenty of fruit trees that will produce fruit. All he's saying is, oh, some of these might need a little more water, but people are watering their lawns. That's how water shortage starts. They go, ah, it's just a little more water. But people are watering their lawns. That's how water shortages start. They go, ah, it's just a little more water. All the water goes into the gutter.

It goes into the thing, and then it goes into a filtration system. Into the thing. And it gets filtered all the way back to you. Again, it's all recycling. There's no such thing as a drought. There's no such thing as a water shortage. Only in poorly managed places.

OK. Well, I mean, there are a lot of poorly managed places, right? So this is what surge is accounting. So you have, you have fruit, everybody's watering their lawns all the time. So instead of putting that into lawn, you put it in the fruit trees. Okay. But if you throw up an orange tree in your yard, it's going to mess up the ecosystem of your whole neighborhood monkeys. No, it's not. It's going to be a surge. Doesn't even put his full name

on YouTube. He can't, he a non-protecting surge protector. He's like, yeah, he is a surge for better or worse. See, that's why I love his tweet. Yeah, that's what his tweets are. Just a little thing. Yeah. Surge protecting the neighborhoods out here. But the point is that, yes, I make the statement, but when you're actually going to execute it, yeah, you put more thought into it. You figure out what that's all he's saying no he isn't you

just don't like the first sentence of his comment which I don't usually agree with dusty and this is no he says he cows planting fruit trees everywhere seems like a great idea except that most fruits aren't next okay well we're not gonna use the ones that aren't native how about that this guy well will you take down all your fruit trees and put up Chickasaw plums? No. Well, then you don't even put your money where your mouth is. I don't. Serge doesn't tell me how to live my life.

His HOA does. He should. I think Serge has his head on his shoulders. Serge right now is buying grocery store fruit and he never will have a free piece of fruit. Dude, Serge is growing Appalachian bananas in his backyard. And I think he's doing the right thing. Now, Dusty, a lot of people said they have fruit trees and if you don't pick them, they fall on the ground and rats and animals.

All kinds of unspeakable horrors. Rats. And so now the owls have food. Yeah. Then you got an owl problem at your neighborhood. There's no such thing as an owl problem. Not yet, thank God, because people aren't throwing up trees. Now you have owls eating, it's called the ecosystem. The circle of life.

Yeah, this is how, like, it's us removing all these things that's put us in this spot where we're, you know, the grocery store controls us. Whatever fruit they have, we don't even know about all these varieties of vegetables and fruits that are out there because we just get what they give us. We get what Kroger gives us.

Kroger's like, you heard of tomatoes? Here's a couple of varieties. You like cherries and you like these other fat. Well, black cherries are native Tennessee fruits, right there. You can grow some black cherries in your like these other fat. Well, black cherries are native Tennessee fruits right there. You can grow some black cherries in your backyard and not disrupt the ecosystem. OK, great.

Yeah, go ahead and do that. Let's get some pawpaws and some black cherries. And a parrot. What's a persimmon? That's like a little orange fruit. Yeah. It's like a tangerine. It looks like a tomato trying to be.

It's almost like a plum and a peach. Uh, I think. No, they look. Oh no, that's a different fruit. I'm talking about. Yeah. The fruit I'm talking about sounds like a dirty fruit. I don't even want to say.

How well do you know the persimmon? Not good. It's pronounced permission. Persimmon is it, so It's pronounced permission. Permission. I'm sorry. Persimmon, is it, so it does look like a peach. It might be the most underweight, underrated winter fruit according to most Europeans. I don't know when that poll got issued.

But. Well, this is because people, people like Surge. What do you think the most underrated fruit is? People like Surge are like, oh, you can't grow anything there. You can't grow anything there. They're not native there. Our apple.

You could go apples here. Totally. Can't people grow peaches? I wouldn't. Yes, I wouldn't. I think it'd be bad. Why? Just disrupting.

And who is these people? Like, if you don't pick them, pick them. Feed the worm. That's what I'm talking about. Pick them. Pick the apples when they're ready. Yeah, a lot of them, they, the raw and the vine, or I mean, they, and they, you're not gonna eat them.

So they pick them up. Put them in the compost. We used to eat those little cran apples. Yeah. They used to fall off the tree. We'd throw it and hit each other in the head with them. Crab apples is what we call them. Yeah. Yeah.

In West Virginia, they grew all over the, yeah, they're super bitter. Yeah, we used to eat those. Yeah, me too. Yeah, my mom makes a crab apple jam. Yeah. We used to eat those. Yeah, me too. Yeah. My mom makes a crab apple jam. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Which seems like the worst fruit to do.

It is good though. A lot of sugar in there. Sounds like a music festival. Jer... Yeah, dude. Chickasaw plum is headlining. Followed by the black cherries. Jeremy D.

Alger, Alger, Alger. This is the second straight episode where Dusty spoke about having an H O A. I can't believe that he would ever buy property that came with other people able to tell him what to do with it. Does he really have an H O A? Well, this is what happens when you buy a house and you don't have any guidance. You have no, no one around you going, hey, you better check to see if there's an HOA.

I'm just like, oh, I'd like to own a house. And then I get there and there's some lady going, you gotta paint that thing or I'm gonna give you a fine. Now, knowing what you know now, would you have bought a different house because of that? Yeah, I probably would have tried to search out a no HOA. Wow, it's been that much of a hindrance. My HOA is actually pretty chill. And I do appreciate it to some degree because they, you're not the easiest

house in the neighborhood, but I keep it's my backyard. It gets wild. I keep the front yard fruit trees everywhere. Yeah. But, um, is that a paw paw? Is it a cheetah back there? But yeah, the back ecosystem fellas, partly goes, it's wild, but, uh, the front yard is good. And yeah, I mean, they're pretty chill. It's not a big deal. How much is it? Uh, I don't know. How much do you make a year?

How much do you make a year before taxes? Well, I don't remember how much it is. Statue of Liberty guy down the street. It's not very much, but you know. Well, I've been to your house. It's you're not in like some staunchy, snotty neighborhood. No, no. If you pay HOA to pick up your garbage, right?

Oh no, they don't even pick up the garbage, but they just pay them, you know, they go around and if people are not cutting their grass, they'll be like, hey, you got to start cutting your grass kind of thing. And it keeps things up to a certain standard. That I appreciate it. Peer pressure that you pay for.

Well, they fine you, so it's more than peer pressure. And there's also those psychopaths that like see if your garage door's all the way down and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, it's not like that. I hate those people. I got fined because I didn't put my trash can all the way away behind the house.

I tucked it around the corner, but they were like, well, you can still see it if you're looking for it. You know the best way to handle that? Just throw those in the trash. I do not pay them. I'm like, no. There's nothing they can do. He owes 500 grand.

No, it's not, but it's like 50, but you're gonna spend 10 grand on an attorney to take me to court for the, no. Makes sense. Make my neighbor clean up his, he has a camper out there, fixes, that's in your stupid papers. But if I, you know, if I sell and buy again, my plan would be to not even live in a neighborhood.

Or a city, just unincorporated. Yeah, I mean, you know, I will try to buy more land. You know, like a house with more acreage and maybe not have, you know, well, I will try to buy more land, you know, like a house with more acreage and maybe not have, you know, or maybe disappear from society. I'm kind of in that boat too. Yeah. Like I want to move out in the middle where no one is. Let's do a thing together.

I'm in my wife, the house, you've been to my house, right? Yeah, not the new one. Okay. So when during COVID, I was working construction and doing anything I could. And I was like, we're gonna move out in the country, out in the middle of nowhere, right? And I'm gonna get some horses. And my wife is like, what are you talking about?

She's like, this is gonna end and you're gonna have to, I'm like, no, we're going out in the middle of nowhere. So she found this house that backs up to an equestrian thing that was left to MTSU when it grants to those horses out back, but the houses are way too- Oh, I have been there. Yeah, you've been there. Okay, yeah, yeah.

So she's like, she goes, look, this is how we're going to do this. You're not moving me out in the country with a bunch of chickens so you can go on the road for three weeks out. We're going to live here. You can look at the horses and stand on the back porch and pretend you're on Yellowstone

or whatever you think you're doing. She's like, you'd kill a horse in six weeks. Yeah. We went to, me and my, I'm gonna, me and my wife went to Reno's house one time and our daughter and, uh, my daughter, Daisy, my wife, Hannah and Reno and Reno, uh, Reno's like, uh, praying before we eat. And he's like, Oh, I just, you know, I just want to thank you for bringing. And he's trying to talk, mention my daughter and he goes, just want to thank you for bringing beautiful

Hannah out to, and I didn't even pick up on it and I kept going. I was like, she's so beautiful. And it's so nice that we could be here together. And I'm like, amen. And I look up and Hannah goes, well, thank you. My wife is like, what is wrong with you? And I'm like, what are you talking about? She goes, you said Hannah and I'm, I was just, you know, thank you. You know? And my wife is like, what is wrong with you? And I'm like, what are you talking about? She goes, you said Hannah.

And I was just, you know, when you go into panic, like I was like, I thought they were both Hannah. Like I didn't know what I was supposed to. I've known Hannah for, I'd known her for like 10 years at that point, but something got tweaked in my head. And the baby, I'm like, so beautiful. And you know, and my wife is like. And my daughter was very young.

She was a little baby. Yeah. Hannah's just beautiful. She's so beautiful. We're so thankful she could come here and we could finally see her. And Dusty's crying. And I have no idea that I'd done it.

Even after I was done, I didn't understand why I was in trouble immediately. But Hannah's face, I open my eyes and I look up and she's like, well, thank you, Reno. Thank you more. I've never, I never had a prayer all about me like that. It's pretty nice. It's so creepy. Bizarre. Sorry about that. Now I have to change my prayers at home. Now they all have to be like that.

Yeah. Let's do have to be like that. Yeah. Let's do it like Reno does. That's right. Thank you. Every day you brought Hannah into my life. Oh, here we go. We're never eating at the Colliers again. John Dixon, Causeys is down the road for me. And I wonder if either Dusty and or Aaron had been there. I guess he just knows I hadn't. If so, if so, what was that experience like at that? As that place can be a bit wild. You know, matter of fact, me and Aaron had been there together.

Together. To Kazy's. It's the only time I've been there. I've been there several times. Is that in Ohio? It's in Newport News, Virginia. Oh my gosh. I forgot about that. Is this still there?

I think so, yeah. The Cossie's is still there. Yeah, what I remember specifically about that weekend was, and everybody at the club was very nice to us. I always had a great time. We had a good time, but the condo, the week before the comedian that was staying there had died in the condo.

Literally or? Literally died on the floor at the floor of like the bathroom. And my side of the condo. Yeah. He was the headliner that time. Yeah. I was in the feature room. You don't know the pressures of being a headliner. I mean, it's especially at Kazy's.

Yeah. Hannah was there with me. We were, yeah. Oh, she's beautiful. So we were the first comics in there after, after that comic had died. So we, you know, we lit some candles, we said some prayers, we got, we got, yeah, got a little spirits out of there. Yeah, but we have been there.

And I've been there a few times. Jim Seward took me there for the first time. Yeah, that was cool. Yeah, and it's, yeah, I like it. Dude, what's the- It is rowdy though, it gets wild in there. I remember Kazi's now, what's the place that's in Ohio, and it may not even be there anymore,

but like Red Fox used to perform there. They had like a really crazy green room, but you stay in down in a condo by the kitchen. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's in Northern Ohio. I don't know. It's weird. It's a really cool, it's not Toledo,

it's a really cool, like they have big seats and leather. I mean, Dayton, Ohio had- Wiley's? Wiley's. Did you stay down? I never did that. I only went there for an open mic. Oh, dude. Was it weird?

Oh, and someone died in there too. But that's what made me think about it. Just, just to keep that going on a comedy podcast. Yeah, that happens. Yeah. The condo in Wichita had no, no windows. And it's like, you don't think you need a window that bad until you don't have one for like four days.

Yeah. I'd love a window. And then you would be there like Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then on like Thursday, you would go to this barbecue restaurant and they would give you a bunch of free barbecue. So all the comics will go on there. You get a whole platter of barbecue.

You eat it and then you take it back to the condo and you're all eating this smoked meal. All three in this windowless condo. All right. We got about 30 minutes left. Let's get into it. That's all we need for this state. No. Yeah. You know, Reno, I always associated you with West Virginia. You look like a guy who's from West Virginia. Yes, I am. Well, my entire family is.

I lived in Virginia more though. I texted Reno and said, hey, let's talk about West Virginia. He's like, well, can we talk about Virginia? Yeah, well, here's the thing. Like West Virginia, I call home. That's gotta hurt. No, no, it's good.

It's gotta hurt West Virginia though. Yeah. No, it's my home. I love West Virginia. West Virginia's good. It's got to hurt West Virginia though. Yeah. No, it's my home. I love West Virginia. West Virginia's great. I just live there. We like places like that on this podcast.

Like West Virginia. Like we don't look down on places and go, can we talk about something more flashy? Why don't you pull up the list of people from West Virginia? Are you top of the list? I don't know if I'm still on it or not. I was for a while. Dude, that is my home, but I lived in Virginia longer. When did you live in Virginia?

What ages? So from, I was little. The thing was, I went to a military school for high school, so I didn't live at home. I was in Waynesboro, Virginia. Then before that, I lived in Woodbridge, Virginia and Centerville, Virginia. Yeah. So about- Campbell Fisher too.

About 10 years. Yeah. You're not on here anymore, man. They took me off. After they heard what happened at the Opry. That's it. Did they take me off? They heard about this podcast. Oh, man. He's like, this guy's claiming Virginia now.

Right, Reno, you're on athletes. Switch. Honestly, I should be on there too. Yeah. You were a PE teacher. I was. I played baseball for about six weeks. I hung out under frontiers, maybe literature and art. Morgan Morgan. He is an author now.

The way Country Fried Takes is for sale, literature and art. Military, you did some military. That was in high school. Politics, you bargained with a guy in a parking lot. Yeah. military. That was in high school. I did a search. Politics, you argued with a guy in a parking lot. Yeah. Yeah. All right. See if it, they might've taken me off. This week we're talking about Virginia. Who gained celebrity from the, it's a little reductive. I'm sorry. Military school. Great state. That's where I'm going. I'm going to Virginia Beach. I love the state. Yeah. Love it. Although it's like three different states now. Yeah. Like Northern Virginia is nothing like Southern, Southwest Virginia is nothing like the

East Coast of Virginia. Like it used to, when I was younger, felt Southern. Yeah. And now it's, I don't know. Actually the first time I went to Virginia, I ordered a sweet tea at a place and they got real snooty with me. And it was in Norfolk and they were like, oh, we have tea and we can bring you sugar. Yeah. Which isn't, it's stupid. Somehow it's not the same.

No. Well, it's not because you can't get it to do anything. But it's just so weird to act snooty about that. It's like, oh, okay, so you do have the capability to make tea sweet and you're just doing it on purpose. Yeah. What happened to Virginia was there's so many military bases and there's people coming from all different areas. Then in Northern Virginia, you have the entire government and military that's based out of DC. No one lives in DC. So they're either in Maryland or Virginia. So that kind of branches out and it took the culture

of Virginia and turned it into more of an international type of place. You know what I mean? Yeah. But you go to Southern Virginia and it's like, it's so good to see you. Thank God you're here. And I appreciate everything about you. Would you like a persimmon? Or a pawpaw? Or a monkey and a banana? Would you like a persimmon? Or a pop-on. Or a monkey and a banana?

It was named after Queen Elizabeth I of England, who was called the Virgin Queen. Oh. West Virginia was named after her more promiscuous cousin. You had to say cousin, didn't you? Who got around a little bit, yeah. But that's where, you know, next to maybe Massachusetts, Virginia has probably maybe more history than.

Dude, it's all over. Yeah. US history. Yeah. Civil War, I mean, the capital of Confederacy was in Richmond. Not originally. That's why you've been there, right?

Yeah. That's the only reason I lived there. You're talking about the war of Northern aggression? Exactly. Yeah, so I understand. No, it was, and people don't realize, that's what I mean by the infiltration of like people from all over the country

and the world that's moved there. Richmond was a purely Southern town, and now it's not at all. Like it's, and the universities and the younger people. I do a club in Short Pump, Virginia. Dude, I love that funny bone. Yeah. Yeah, I go there when I'm working on my hour.

Then he wants to run his hour, I love that funny bone. Yeah. Yeah. I go there when I'm working on my hour. Then he wants to run his hour. That's where he goes. Yeah. That's where I go to work out new stuff. Yeah. Is that what you do? Yeah. Yeah. No, I like that. I do like a two-hour show. How long? I mean, the Jamestown colony, the first British. Is that the Jamestown fairy? colony, the first British. Is that the Jamestown Ferry? You know the song? She just called the Jamestown Ferry. Charlie Crockett has a great version. He gets there going, I love Charlie Crockett.

Tonya Tucker, he just called the Jamestown Ferry. It's a hot day in January. Yeah. He took I-95 to Richmond, Bonnie and Clyde. Yeah. Yeah. But he couldn't get there. Wait, wait.

Jamestown was the first English settlement, 1607, we just talked about a couple of weeks ago, the whole Pocahontas, John Smith story, which is probably not true, but that's all came from Jamestown. It's called the mother of presidents, Virginia. Eight presidents have come from Virginia. Is that the most of any other state?

Yeah, including four out of the first five. I got a relative way back on my mom's side. There's a place called Hume, Virginia. And my mom's maiden name is Hume. And, uh, my, one of my great, great, great, great grandfathers ever taught George Washington had a survey. Wow. Yeah.

Pretty cool. I thought you were going to say surf. It was going to sound really cool. Yeah, surf in Virginia Beach. In Cosy's. He was the first feature there. And, uh, he did this weird thing with his teeth. They were wooden. Virginia Beach, and Kazy's. He was the first feature there. He did this weird thing with his teeth, they were wooden and he did this David Letterman,

it was weird. But yeah. I'm getting dizzy. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, there's George right there, James Monroe, William Henry Harrison, John Tyler, Zachary Taylor, and Woodrow Wilson. Okay. But then it's been about 110 years or so and not a single one from Virginia. Huh? Yep. Virginia really fell off. Dry spell. Dry spell.

We'll come back. They'll come back. John Tyler was born in the late 1700s, president, I think, early 1800s and he still has a grandson alive. Wow. Did you know that? Grandson? Yeah. No way, dude. Yeah.

Isn't that crazy? Like one generation down? Well, do you know what grandkids are? That would be kids. I know what they are, but I also know what the 1700s are. And it's like mathematically, what is he, 140? He was really old when he had his child.

I guess his child was really old when he had his child. I guess his child was really old when he had his child. And now his child is like, grandchild is like 90 something years old. Wow. Yeah, so he's 96 Harrison Ruffin Tyler. He was born in 1928. How old was his dad? That's a good question.

He had to have been 100. He had to have been pretty old, dude. Yeah. They used to party back then. You know, my grandfather was born in 1900 and I have a younger sister that was born in 2000. That's crazy. Yeah.

There's a lot of math going on. Yeah. So a hundred years. Yeah. Hundred year difference. That's wild. My grandfather was born in 1902. He beat you by two years. Yeah. Yeah. That's wild. My grandfather was born in 1902. He beat you by two years. Yeah.

Yeah. That's crazy, man. I just seem to thinking about the 1900s. I know. Like it sounds like the 1800s used to when you were in school, like that was a long time ago. My kids were like, yeah, he's from the 1900s. I'm like, don't say that.

Yeah. That's crazy. Ugh. You're not the same age, I think. 54. Oh, I thought you meant that. Yeah. It's crazy. You're not the same age, I think. 54. Oh, I thought you meant 1954. No.

Uh. Yeah, I'm 76. How old are you? No, I'm uh. By the way, I've gone to the bathroom three times since we've been sitting here. Are you allowed to say that? I am 53. I'll be 54 later this year. All right. How old's your kid? Three. Are you allowed to say that?

I am 53. I'll be 54 later this year. All right. How old's your kid? Three. Three. Yeah, you're going to be like that guy. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. There you go. Brian Bates as a living grandson. Brian Bates. Remember that guy from that podcast? Yeah, he has a- The guy from Nate Land? He's 106 and he just had a baby.

Who was that guy, Tony Randall? I don't know. Yeah, Tony Randall. Yeah, he was doing that one. He was doing? He's 106 and he just had a baby. Who was that guy, Tony Randall? I don't know. Yeah, Tony Randall. Yeah, he was doing that, wasn't he?

Yeah, well Robert De Niro's doing it now. Yeah. Robert De Niro's got a two year old. Yeah, that's why he has those lifts on his shoes. I did see that. Did you see that? Did that not just, that ruined Goodfellas for me? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. I was thinking about that. Like sometimes the legends, it is, I mean, you know, it's sad when people die, but sometimes it's like if they just fade away. Yeah. They don't have to die, but retire and move on. It's better.

You remember them in a better time. There is not one human being that can look right with like four foot blocks on the or four inch blocks on the bottom of their shoes. Yeah. Like in unless you're 10 feet tall, there's no good look. Yeah. For that. And when I saw those on the bottom of his feet, it really did ruin movies for me. Like, yeah. So the whole time he's more like Joe Pesci. I thought he was like six, two or something. I haven't seen what you're talking about. I never took him for a tall guy. No, just average height.

Robert De Niro wears these things on the bottom of his shoes to make him look taller. They're like heavy. Yeah, so they can be eye level in scenes and stuff. Right. I don't think he does it just like going to the groceries. I think it was for a movie and they caught a picture of him, but it just threw me.

Tony Randall got married first in 1938. Yeah. And then, uh, she'd passed away. And then he had another, he got married again, had enough. He had a kid in 1998. Yeah. He had a kid 60 years after the first marriage. How, when was he born? He was born in 1920.

So he was 18 when he got married first. And then he had a kid at 78. Wow. 78. Yeah. That's wild, man. Good for him. God bless him.

How old was his wife? 25. That's an odd couple. I guess his kid can't expect that. Boom. Good. Boom. Yeah.

Two old guys got that reference. Some old man's listening to this. His kid's listening to it and the old man just popped up and goes, got that one. Jack Klugman. Yeah, Jack Klugman. Yeah. The odd couple I've heard it. It was a TV. I've heard it. It was a TV show. Yeah. A long time. Yeah. You ever watch Nick at night? Yeah. You ever have a two o'clock in the morning with nothing to do.

Jack Klugman went on to play Quincy. I loved Quincy. Yeah. All right. Still nothing. And I've heard of Quincy too. Remember Quincy's, the steakhouse? I do. Different guy. As far as we know, we're not sure. John Quincy Adams? Yeah. Bring you back to the president's. Boom. Good job, Eric. Thanks. That was good.

All right. Do you guys know the phrase, give me liberty or give me death? Yes. It was by Patrick Henry 250 years ago. Yesterday was the anniversary of that. I was going to say today, but I guess I was, I support it. I'm still a fan of that club. I support it. Yeah.

That was all about the revolutionary war. Virginia getting involved, Boston or Massachusetts was like, these dudes are rolling us up. Yeah. He's like, let's go. Yep. Yep. I've got all this historical stuff. Let's get to the good stuff. Smithville ham. Love it. Virginia has killer ham. I'm not kidding.

Sometimes it's just called Virginia ham. It is Virginia ham. It's real salty. What's different about it? What do you do that we can't do in Tennessee? It's the way it's cured. You can do it here. Well, why don't we? It's just salt. Well, you're just not good at it. It's got to be in the ecosystem. You don't think it through, man. It's got to surge about it. It's got to be native to your state. Virginia's been doing that forever. Virginia's known for ham. I don't think it is, man. I've never heard that in my life. You've never heard of Virginia ham? Never heard of Virginia ham, dude.

I've heard of Virginia slims. Honestly? That's about it. Well, that was there too. Winston Salem was in North Carolina. Yeah. Yeah. They were all around.

Marlboro was in Maryland. I don't think so. There is an upper Marlboro, Maryland, but Newport, California. I don't know. I thought there was a New... Skoll. Copenhagen. Gres there's a new. Skoll. Copenhagen. Dresden.

Dresden is in Alaska. Zen is in LA. What about Kodiak? Alaska. Yeah, Alaska's doing good. Yeah. Yeah, tobacco. Come on, keep going, what's the next one?

Tobacco is. Parliament, D.C. Black and mild. I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Paul Paul. Uh. Tobacco is. Parliament. DC. Black and mild. Yep. I have no idea what you guys talk about. Paul Paul. Cigarettes and tobacco. Oh, again, I'm strong, so.

Yeah. I don't need. These vices. You don't need stimulus. You just have TB. You don't need stimulus. You just have TB. That is true.

That is true. That is true. That is true. That is true. That is true. That is true. Uh, anyway, tobacco is the big, one of the big products in. Yep. Going back to the 1700s.

John Rolfe, who ended up marrying Pocahontas. He also invented throwing up. Sorry. They're not all good, but they all come out. The Native Americans were growing a type of tobacco that was very harsh. This was sweeter, I think, you know, more enjoyable. So it kind of took off. So that's why Virginia is one of the big tobacco producers. Where did that tobacco come from? South America. He brought it up from South America. Okay. Is that where it started? And then it... because there was tobacco fields everywhere in Virginia. Yeah. So the Europeans that came to America, they were introduced to tobacco here. They didn't grow tobacco in England.

I don't think so. I think their ecosystem. I think. There is something to, um, you know, growing something. They smoke everything. Yeah. In the right area. Yeah.

It's got to be. Smoked ham. Smoked ham. Virginia ham. That guy, Anthony the right area. It's gotta be. It's smoked ham? Smoked ham? Virginia ham. That guy Anthony Clark used to do a joke about, he was from Gladys, Virginia, and he goes, I was with, oh, nevermind, sorry. Can't say it.

I can, somebody smoked a ham after. Sorry, Brian, go ahead. Virginia slams. This has turned out like the Opry. I'll never be back. Wait till they tag the sponsors. Yeah, exactly. Oh, Mountain Dew. That was an old sponsor.

It started in Virginia. Wow, how about that? In the mountains of West Virginia. But anyway, Virginia Slims, I was going to say, there was a TV ad on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, people smoking, and then quickly They made a law. You can't smoke. You can't do cigarette commercials on television. Yeah, Johnny used to smoke during the show Yeah, that's so crazy. I love those old things. Yeah, I mean that seems like a chill show. Yeah, they were really having fun. Yeah Drinking and smoking cigar might be more of the vibe that you want though

But Chappelle does the cigarettes on stage and it seems chill. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I still think of frantic energy with the cigarette. Yeah. But they didn't use to smoke them like that. Like when I was a kid and my grandparents and everything, you'd see a cigarette and they'd be an ash three or four inches long.

They'd light it and smoke it a little bit. Because they're just going to light another one as soon as that one's done. My grandpa used to fall asleep with them in his mouth and he'd like come out of a dead sleep when the hot coal hit and burned through his shirt. A lot of people died that way. A lot of people died. You ever see the Tom, any of those Tom Waits interviews

from back in the day where he'd be smiling? Those are really entertaining. Sucking down lung darts. Yeah. Have you ever told anyone Virginia's for lovers? That's on bumper stickers all over the place. You've heard that, right? Yeah.

It was on the license plate. When I was in DC, I made a joke about that. And I say, you know, you read that sign and I don't remember the joke, but in the S for lovers is where you put the heart. But we've not all decided that the heart means V, you know? Right. What if it's an S?

But I think it kind of looks like a V. Virginia's for... Kind of looks like a V. But what if it was an S? Losers. Losers? Yeah. They would have put it.

Virginia is for losers. There's a V right there. They used to say Virginia is for lovers and DC is for bullets. But there's there's two other S's on there too. There's a V right here though. But there's two other S's so it can't be an S. But it can't be a V. Well then what do you want it to be? I'm just saying the joke and people liked it when I was there. And then you said, Brian Bates needs a smoke. Yeah, people liked the joke.

I forget it. It's been a while. I'm sorry. Well, anyway, it's one of the most popular tourist campaigns ever. Yeah, they should put a heart in Virginia too, if you're going to do that. If it's going to be a V.

Exactly, that's what I'm saying. You set a standard, that's the key. And then you go, Virginia's for what? It is, that's kind of irritating now. It's only the one. Virginia is the most populated state in the country that doesn't have a pro sports team.

Major league sports team at least. Not one, huh? Aaron disagrees. Well, I mean, DC is kind of up there, right? For a lot of it. Yep So but that's what everybody is there either like DC or Baltimore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Sorry, I burped into the mic. Yeah Hold them back. It happens. It happens man

Virginia's basketball teams first number one seed ever lose to a 16 seed in March Madness What year was that like Like five years ago. And then the next season they won the whole thing. Have you been to the University of Virginia campus? A lot of like, it's cool cause Thomas Jefferson designed a lot of it, but a lot of like secret society stuff going on. Oh heck yeah.

The lawn, that area where like my cousin went there and she's super smart and she lived there. And- I'm surprised you're into the secret society stuff, Aaron. Hey, you wanna hear something cool? I saw a UFO by UVA. Oh yeah? Not even kidding.

You got a video? No, we were leaving a football, UVA football game, going to my buddy Zach's house. We're driving by and there's a field. Were you drunk? Brian, let ye judge lest ye be judged. Or whatever it is. I just wanna know, go into the story.

All right, go ahead. What are you talking about? Let's not judge. Lest judge be ye. Let ye be judges for the judge. We were driving back to the game and my buddy Zach goes, dude, what it? And we look up and there's a green light in the air

over this huge field. He lived way light in the air over this huge field. He lived way out in the country over this huge field. He pulls his car over, we look and that quick, it was like, and was gone. Then there's a whole bunch of military. It went away or you saw it kind of darted? I saw it dart and it disappeared. Whoa.

And it freaked us out. We sat there for like 15 minutes, like, are we losing? Like, did that, we all saw that, right? Like it was creepy. I don't care what anybody says, they're out there and they're coming for us. We need to get ready. Aaron Rodgers saw one.

Do you know that? I'm sure he did. I guarantee he did. William and Mary is the second oldest college in the nation. Oh, I did comedy once at William and Mary, way back. Did you? At like a fraternity thing. Oh, did you go?

My buddy Evan Burke was a... He went to go to school there? He had a connection there. Oh, okay. Through his fraternity. And we went up, did a, yeah, I'd never done a road gig. I think that was my first road gig, William and Mary College. Dude, when I was in military high school,

on weekends we could get away, and it was right by the whole Charlottesville, that entire area. And we would go, there was a girl school and William and Mary also, we'd go and we were in our military school uniforms and they all thought we went to VMI, which was college. So we'd hook up with these girls, but I have like have acne and braces and I'm like, I love VMI. You know what I mean? It was pretty cool. You did that too, right? With Auburn? At Auburn?

Yeah, it didn't go as well for me. I don't think that. He tried. I would do that, yeah. He tried. What would you do? Well, I grew up next to Opelika, right? So I grew up in Opelika next to Auburn.

So yeah, I mean, so you go to Auburn just to parties and you just be like, yeah, I go here. Yeah. But then falls apart pretty quick because I don't know anything. The uniform was the selling point for us. Because nobody can tell the difference between a college and a high school. No one dresses up like that.

I mean, you'd have to really be in the game to go buy all that stuff and not even go to a military school. It'd be a bit much. The wool pants burn off your hair. I like that. Some famous people from Virginia burn off your hair. I let you know. So it's not. Some famous people from Virginia, Reno Collier. Yes, we already know that. Sandra Bullock, Chris Pratt, Rob Lowe, Jason Sudeikis.

Vince McMahon graduated from Fishburn Military School. He went to my military school. Did he really? Reno, come on. Don't try to take credit. Oh, I'm sorry. No, I'm joking. No, he really did.

I put that on there because I knew you went there. Yeah, no, he really did go there. I know he really did. Oh, okay. I thought, I'm sorry. I saw that on there because I knew you went there. Yeah, no, he really did go there. I know he really did. Oh, okay, I thought, I'm sorry. I saw your Wikipedia page and then I saw, I looked up Fishburne military and they said Vince McMahon went there. Yeah, he did.

And then I watched, my wife went with me to an alumni weekend and everybody's either dead or in AA and NA, like it's, we were a mess of guys. It was a fun reunion. Yeah, it was great. It's unbelievable. And we're driving back, my wife goes, you know what, I always thought there was just one of you,

but there's a whole bunch of you, right? Just churning you out. Yeah, and then it's a bunch of derelicts. Then we watched the Vince McMahon documentary on there, my wife sitting there going, I can see that. Yeah. I can see that. He was real jacked up.

Yeah. Hey, for people watching know I saw you do some Some like testimony stuff on a on a set one night Where could they find that if people want to go watch you talk about that stuff my testimony? Yeah, just you know getting sober and stuff. I mean we make a lot of jokes, but there are people that listen that Are struggling with the alcohol and it's like they may want to. Do we have just a couple minutes? Yeah, go ahead.

I Yeah, or just you know, where they could they can watch it in about 15 minutes. I think when I go out there, I think I'm going to do it. I started doing that. Like, do you have a spot where it's at online? Well, no, you know, Reno, Reno, call your comedy.com. Well, we'll record it tonight. Yeah, you know what? If we're gonna record, then I'll do it.

It's all God. Yeah. It's all God. And I was a train wreck and I let it go way too long. And I don't care if people think I'm nuts. You know, Keith Albers that? Yeah. Yeah. So Keith and I, years ago, we're working up in South Bend, Indiana. I was like 25 or 26

years old. And we're walking around and there was a huge cathedral church at Notre Dame. The Basilica. The Basilica. Yeah. Oh, you're about to offend Aaron out there. So I go… No, he's told me this story. Oh, yeah.

So I'm like, dude, I'm going to go in there, right? And Keith's still walking around. I go in, and I'm like, I haven't prayed in forever. So I go over and I get in a kneeler and there may have been two other people There's nobody in there. I get down on the other and I and I just close my eyes and I before I say anything I have this overwhelming like like this feeling. I don't care if people think I'm crazy I know what happened and I had this overwhelming feeling of Reno. You've got to stop drinking. You're going to destroy yourself, right? I got goosebumps right now talking about it. And it wigged me out, man. Like I was sitting there and by the time I got from the kneeler to the back of the church,

I convinced myself that I was crazy. It was drugs and alcohol and this didn't really happen and it was all this and that and I was drinking two hours later. Guess what? Twenty-five years ago, after not listening to God, I ended up in hell and it was all my own doing. And you know, people can say whatever they want about it. And I'm unapologetic about it now.

I will talk about Jesus to anybody anytime. I feel like it like this. If I find something that saved my life, it would be pretty selfish for me not to share it with somebody else and it might hurt them out. You know what I mean? Not to mention the fact I want to get up to heaven and have Jesus go, hey dude, first 45 years

were a dumpster fire, but I love what you did at the end. Turned it around. Turned it around. So if- Well, I'm the same way. I like to joke about it. I love to joke about this stuff, but I don't do these things anymore.

And it's like, yeah, and my life is so much better that I don't. 100%. My life immediately got better when I could drink it. I don't, in my adult life, I don't have a lot of money. I don't have, I have never been happier in my life than I am right this moment. Like I never have.

I chased fame and all that stuff and it was empty for me. I know a lot of people. And then if the show doesn't go well, you go, oh, I'm sad again. Well, no, I really don't care. No, no, that's how comedy is though. Yeah, well in your shows, but not mine. I always kill.

But tonight I'll just be working on my hour. I hope everybody enjoys it. Dude, I can't tell you how much I love being with you guys. I haven't seen you in so long. It's been a long time. It's been a while, man. Yeah. It's fun, man.

I'm not working on my hour, by the way. I'm building a new one now, guys. Building's a nice word. Before the theater show. I didn't hear the last few things you said, but Dollar Tree is based in Virginia. Oh, thanks. I'm sorry, Brian. I was talking about our Lord and Savior.

Go ahead. All right. All right. This, let's see. Now we promote our upcoming shows. Yeah. So April 5th, I'm in Columbia, Tennessee at the Packard Playhouse. April 11th to 12th, Detroit, Detroit House of Comedy. April 26th, West Bend, Wisconsin

at the Bend Theater. I'm a theater comic now. So anyway, yeah, those are some of the upcoming dates. Cool. I'm going to be at the Boston Garden. If you really want to see where I am, just go to LarryTheCableGuy.com. Oh, come on. Yeah. Come on. Honestly, we're going, no, I'm not kidding. Like I finished up, I did a bunch of shows

in Michigan and all that stuff. I haven't been out with him in like a year and a half. Oh, yeah. And I can't freaking wait. It's going to be a rush. It's like a reunion type thing. I want to hang with you guys. Dude, anytime. I'll tell you, I just want to tell you one more thing real quick. Can I say this real quick?

So we were talking about sobriety. Here's something that's stuck in my head. Here's the type of dude that he is. Cable guy and I were on a flight one night coming back from a show and I was hammered drunk. I was sitting there and he's paying for the jet. It's his thing. And he looks at me and he goes,

dude, are you having fun? And I go, yeah, man. Are you kidding me? He goes, good. Because all these towns we go to that you get hammered with all these people, they don't care about you at all. And when you're dying, it's going to be me, my wife, and your mom and your kids watching you die. I just want to tell you how much I appreciate that.

Oh, dude, that's stuck because I was the doctor, you want to tell you how much I appreciate that. Oh my God. Dude, that stuck. Because I was the doctor. You want to tell us how much you appreciate that he said that. He didn't say that to you. No, he said that to me. He said, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate that. Yeah, he was obviously joking. Okay. Okay. No, he was kidding, but that stuck in my head. Yeah.

So like we've been through this weird relationship through the years. Like we competed forever and I'm like, dude, you won. I'm on your bus. You're you want, but we still compete and everything. But going back on the road with him, it's not just laughing. It's not just goofing off. I love him. I love his family. I love how he is and what he does. The great guy. I only met him once, but he's a great guy. Yeah, I met him once. I thought you did.

Dude, I love I met him one time and we did a show together and then we had a cigar after and It was like talking to someone I had known forever. I mean, he's such a genuine guy get into the Bible with him Yeah, I did a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I wish I was there for that. That would have been an IV or what? Course on The correct one? Come on. Where are you going? What do you got? You got all the... Yeah, we're going to Spartanburg, Wilmington. I don't know. Kazi's? Not Kazi's. I only do big places when I'm with other people. Yeah. We're going all over, man. If you go to renocallyourcomedy.com and you want to get this book, but if you don't, the whole schedule's on there.

And I'd love to see you come out and say hi. Yeah, man. This weekend, Aaron Weber here. This weekend I'm in Chicago, Illinois at Zany's Chicago. Wow, all right. Five shows. It looks like they're all gonna, I think they're all gonna sell out.

So just go grab tickets while you can can come see me at Zany's Then I got a bunch of stuff coming up summer in the fall one I'll plug right now since we mentioned it South Bend, Indiana for the first time since I opened for dusty there I'll be doing stand-up comedy in South Bend, Indiana end of May Something of a homecoming show for me So hope if you live in the area South Bend, Indiana coming out and see me at the end of May I hope concrete comes to see you. I would like that Indiana, coming out and see me at the end of May. I hope Concrete comes to see you.

I would like that guy. You remember that guy? Yeah, we had a guy fresh out of prison named Concrete. Yeah, what a great name. He sat in the front row of the show. And then at one point he got up and left and Dusty goes, Concrete, we need you. You're the foundation of the show.

One of my proudest lines. Yeah, it was a great line. It didn't get what it deserved. No, it was a good line. This weekend't get what it deserved. No, but it was a good line. This weekend, I'm in Virginia Beach at the Funny Bone because I want to be there. I enjoy the club. And then, you know, next weekend, I'm going to do two shows at the Opry. Are you really?

I am, I am. Are you going to visit my parents, too? Yes. Anything else you want to dig me for? This has been great. I love it. I'm out of town of fun. Yeah, I love seeing you guys. Sorry, my palms are sweaty.

I got to pee so bad. Let's wrap it up. All right. That is it. Was a lot of fun, Reno. Thank you. Thank you, Brian. It's good to see you guys. Yeah. Anything else? No,. All right. That is it. It was a lot of fun Reno. Thank you again. Thank you Brian It's good to see you guys. Yeah, anything else? No, I want to hear you sign out. All right. We love you guys See you next week Nate land is produced by Nate land productions and by me me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next it through the hectic holiday season. This new year, get clean, quality pregnancy nutrient support off your to-do list, including Ritual's best-selling essential prenatal multivitamin, designed with 12 traceable key ingredients to support a healthy pregnancy. With big changes coming up, take the small steps now and start today with 30% off a 3-month supply at ritual.com slash podcast.

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