The Nateland Podcast - 25: #25 | Prisons

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

This week, Brian, Aaron, and Dusty debate how fast they could run a mile, what time the sun should rise and set, and which Vacation movie is the best. Then they delve into the topic of Prison by learning about the mack economy, prison slang, and Dusty Slay's Top 5 Country Songs about prison. NOBL: NOBLTravel.com NOBL gives you real travel peace of mind — security, design, and convenience all in one. Head to NOBLTravel.com for 46% off your entire order! #NOBL #adAG1: DRINKAG1.COM/NATELAND Visit DRINKAG1.COM/NATELAND to get a free AG1 Travel Case with 7 free AG1 Travel Packs in your Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription order while supplies last. Rocket Money- Rocketmoney.com/nateRocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.  Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at Rocketmoney.com/nate.QUO: Quo.com/NATELANDMoney is on the line. Always say hello with QUO. Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to Quo.com/NATELAND. #ad

Okay, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Public Figures podcast. My name's Dusty Slay. I'm one of your host. I'm here with Brian Bates and Aaron Weber. Good morning, everybody. We're pumped to be here. Another great day. It's hot out.

Yeah. It is hot out. So hot. My air conditioner worked great in my car. I stepped out. I go, geez. My glasses fogged up. What do you keep the house at, Dusty?

I reckon you're a... 71 type of guy? I like, you know what, during the day, I'm 73. I try to do 71 at night, but, you know, I've been having air conditioner problems. Okay. So, um, so you're just trying to not overuse? Well, I have one unit and then I have like a basement area and it doesn't have a, doesn't have a thermostat for that.

So it gets really cold. Yeah. And so I'm like freezing out downstairs. I'm like, I need a blanket, but upstairs. feels normal. Yeah. You know, so. What about you, Brian, 81?

No, we have it on 70, but it's been so hot lately that it can't keep up. Oh, really? Well, I haven't it said on 70, but it'll say like 73, 74. Okay, so you got to crank it down a little bit? Or you just live in 73? Well, I mean, I don't think that works, right? Oh, I don't know. I just put it lower.

But I think then you can freeze it out. But if it can't keep up with 70, how is it going to be like, oh, okay, you're serious now. You really got to hold the button in. Put it on 65 and it'll try to get to 65, but it'll only get to 70. You think it'll try harder? I don't know, man. I don't think that's how it works.

I don't know how these things work. I'm a 68 man myself. I had a few air conditioner guys over. I finally found some good ones. But I had one guy who was, he had no idea what to do. We asked him some questions. He stood silent for about 30 seconds to a minute. He just stood there looking up at the sky.

And I had to tell my wife to stop asking him questions. I go, he doesn't know. Eventually he goes, I'm... You said that in front of him? Yeah. He was buffering. Eventually, he goes, I'm new, guys. I'm new.

He goes, I'm going to be straight with you. I'm new. We respect the honesty, I guess. You do, except for, you know, I want some. Maybe, yeah, don't send the new guy. Yeah, that's true. Send somebody along, let him tag along for a bit.

Yeah, let him shadow a restaurant. Yeah. Like a restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. So you say you're 68. Yeah, I'm 68. We have two HVACs, one on each end of the house because our house is really big. And one on the other end is 68.

Okay. You may be on to something, though, because there was one yesterday was set at 70, but it was actually 74. The other one was set at 68, but it was 72. There you go. Yeah, yeah. It's just four degrees behind. You just got to, yeah. Now I'll go down to 66. That's right. Put it on 60. I do that at a hotel.

I go in there, I go. I set it at 55. Let's just see what happens here. Yeah. You ever like go over to the thermostat hotel and it's not there? You're like, geez, what is this? Scavenger Hunt? That's a good joke.

I think it every time I'm in a hotel room. I think that and the plugs, who's stripping out all these plugs? Yeah, who's stretching out all the plugs in here, yeah. I don't know how they get so war out. What special is that from? I think that is just those are on now on the... Son of a ditch. No, those are now on the...

the what's called the Crockpot comedy album, which is on Spotify. But I put it on that Netflix half hour, the stand-ups. Okay. Speaking of half hours, guys, since you brought it up. Oh, boy, here we go. This Friday, Brian Bates, worried, comes out. 4 p.m. Central, right? This Friday at July 24th, there's, if you're watching.

Good time a day for your target audience, 4 p.m. The Bluebird special. Right at dinner time. Yeah. Right before. bad. Yeah, we're not going out. That's perfect. That's strategy right there. Yeah. My marketing team said 4 p.m. Friday. Yeah. I love that. We got the, we got the new poster hanging up here in the studio right behind Dusty. It looks great. Yeah. It looks awesome, man. I'm excited to see it. I like to have a worried

head over me as I'm. All right. Look at that. Yeah, just put that right in front of me. It's exciting stuff, man. Exciting. The day this comes out Wednesday the trailer forward comes out all right so how long's the trailer you don't want to burn up too many jokes uh it's about 15 minutes yeah i was to say 20 no it's too it's like two minutes right yeah it's just a bit or is it yeah okay yeah it's a bit i looked at everybody's and you know yeah erins was four and a half minutes no what are you talking about come on no i can't remember now but they range all right yeah so why watch it, share it with somebody.

Yes, please. Especially if you have a YouTube account, it's really easy to just share it to all your YouTube followers. Yes, it is. It's really easy. It is. Thank you, Dusty. And help him be a little less worried by sharing that special.

Thank you, yes. It does help. It does help on YouTube, even with our own podcast. If you like it and if you share it with people. Thank you, it's very easy to do. It's a half hour. Just play it while you're in the podcast. bathroom.

I don't care if you watch it, I just need the... Yeah, if you didn't take your metamusel and you're going to be in there a while. Again, my target audience. Yeah. Now, I'm really excited about it. So thank you guys for... I'm not even going to ask you guys to watch it because you watched it live. That's true.

You're off the hook. We were there. I will share it, though. Thank you, and I'll like it. Thank you. Thank you to Adrian and Tristan. I'll comment too. Oh, yeah.

Comments help. Yeah. Comments help. Even if they're negative comments. It's just dumped dusty. I find negative comments help because you can also comment to them. And then if they comment back, now you've built a conversation. There you really got it in the algorithm.

Get the ball rolling. Well, I'm excited about it. I think it's great. I'm excited for everybody to see it. I love it. And Nate Land presents the showcase August 23rd, 24, 25th, right here at the Lab at Zanies. Us three are hosting a night. So get tickets for that.

another great lineup of comics. Awesome. On the show. So get tickets before they're gone. A lot of fun things going on. Do we know which ones we're hosting? No. Let's see which one sells out.

I'm sure we're working around your schedule, though. Okay. Well. We're taping two and one night because he wants a night off. Yeah. Well, guys, I mean, get with it. Get with it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's all I had to say. Where were you at this weekend? I was in Lexington, Kentucky, at Comedy Off Broadway. All right. That's such a great club. It is awesome. club. I think it's the best club in Kentucky. I think I'd say that because I'm not scheduled to be anywhere, Kentucky. Well, I don't even know if there's other clubs. Yeah, there are good clubs. I mean, it is the best. Yeah. The caravan close, right?

Did it? I didn't. I didn't. Somebody told me that this weekend. Oh, okay. Louisville at one time had three clubs. Yeah. I don't know what they have now. I never did any of them. So I don't know. The caravan was good. Louisville Comedy Club I've done a couple of times. But Comedy All-Broadway has been the... there the longest. It's a great club. And it still feels like that. It's one of the few clubs left where you go in there and you go, oh, this building's got some characters. It's a small stage.

When it's packed out, people are right up on you. Yeah. Yeah, it's great. And that hotel right next door, it's so nice just to be able to walk. They have omelets there at that hotel. That embassy suite is right there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a nice one. Yeah. It was a great time. Thank you for everyone who came to a show. Mark Shalafu was with me. Mark Shalafu, who's, he's done a Friend of Nateland, yeah. Showcase before. He's so funny, and he was there with me. We went to see The Odyssey.

He is funny. Yeah. We, I was in Detroit this weekend, Royal Oak, Michigan. I'd only been to Detroit. At the Comedy Castle? At the Comedy Castle. I'd only been to Detroit one other time. Last time I was there, the Lions were in the playoffs.

Oh, yeah. I remember this. And they had to cancel some of the shows. Detroit Comedy Club. At the House of Comedy at the time, it was called. Oh, okay. And it was zero degrees outside. It was so cold.

And I remember thinking, next time I come back to Detroit, hopefully it'll be in the summer. I'll get to go out and see a little bit of the city. I'm flying there with J. Flake. As soon as I get Internet back when we land, I get an alert to my phone that says, do not go outside in the Detroit area. Detroit got hit.

And you got what I'm playing. Well, I was going to get out during the day and check some of it out. But the wildfires in Canada were sweeping in through Detroit. Two of the days I was there, Detroit had either number one or number two worst air quality in the world. Wow. It's usually fourth. Yeah, that's what I said. It's usually top 20, but one or two is crazy.

What did it smell like? A lot of people say it smelled like plastic. It smelled like a bonfire when we got off the plane, even just stepping off the plane into the little walking. way up to the airport, you started to smell. Wow. It smelled like a bonfire all weekend. And they said some people were saying, if you spend X amount of time outside, it's the equivalent of smoking like 15 cigarettes.

And you're out there to smoke cigarettes. Exactly. Yeah. You get two for each drag. I didn't see the sky until Sunday morning when we left, basically. Wow. Because it was just, there's such a haze over the city. It was pretty wild.

I was watching the Mets Phillies were playing on TV, and they had to move up the game an hour in Philadelphia because the AQI, the air quality index, was like 151, which this said was right on the cusp of dangerous, 151. Zero was perfect, but they were at 151. How high does it go? In Philadelphia. In Philadelphia. Wow. So it was bad. So we stayed inside most of the weekend.

We went and saw The Odyssey, too. It was cool to watch a movie that's part of fair to call it a cultural event. It felt like everybody's talking about it. We went and saw it during the day. The shows were awesome. Shout out to Finn St. John, who hosted, and Jay Flake was with me. And then we had a very funny guy, Gary Simons, come by and run his JFL set. He just got named a new face just for laugh.

So he was able to do a couple of shows. Has that been announced? It just got announced, I think, this morning. Okay. Our friend Fiona Callie is a JFL Newface. Okay. who was our first guest here on Public Figures. So she'll be.

We were way out of the curve. I know. We beat them. So she'll be in Montreal. Probably being on this show, got her that. Well, I think it was the bump that took her over the edge for sure. Yeah, I think so. So just a fun weekend.

Thank you to everybody came out in the Detroit area. We were in Royal Oak, but I called it Detroit all weekend. But that's where it was. I was in Atlantic City, New Jersey, which, you know, New Jersey was really on the bottom of that whole smoke scenario. So it seemed a little dreary there, too. I had a nice, I was on the 32nd floor, had a nice view of the ocean. What was the AQI? You know, I'd never heard of that until you brought it up just now.

Everywhere dusty goes, it's 600, because he's always got a cigar in his mouth. It's at a 39 right now. Yes, I didn't even think to look. Also, you're a lot of smoke in casinos, but I went outside to the smoking area, which is a pretty dreary little area that no one ever called. cleans and we had a good time. Yeah. Who was with you? My buddy Derek Humphrey. Yeah. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Oh, that reminds me. My friend Vince Fabra reached out to me about your comment when you said, Vince said he was finally happy to do more than seven minutes on stage and we all laughed.

And Vince goes, what was that about? And I go, oh, he's making fun of me saying I do too much time on stage. I think Vince thought that you were saying that he can't do a lot of time. Well, that'll you say it? I guess it had a double-mead. Yeah. I could hear it that way. Yeah, Vince has a special on YouTube.

He can do, you know, Vince can do a full on hour. So I just want to put that out there for all the Vince haters that might be out there in the world sending him that clip. But Derek was with me. Derek's very funny. Who also has a YouTube special? Late Bloomer is what it's called. Very funny. Yeah, Vince killed on my show.

Yeah, Vince is great. His mom gave me a tag. Oh, yeah. Is it good? Yeah, you used it this weekend. Oh, okay. All right. It's my new clothes.

Invite Vince's mom. Yeah. What's a new joke? Okay. The, uh, but, you know, Vince and Derek and, uh, me and another friend, Evan Burke, we used to all travel around and do comedy together. Did you have a name? Various names.

One time, instead of Derek, it was my wife, who's Canadian, and we were, we were pancakes and Canadian bacon. Yeah, you know who else was on that tour? Me. Oh, yeah. Me and you, me. Me and Brad Sativa. And my wife and Brad Sativa.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that. We did that one. But this was even before that when you were in Charleston, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We were the United Comedians of America one time.

We were the low country comedy tour. Nice. Yeah. You know, we were the, we had another one. I forgot the other one. You know, you're always trying to come up with them. Yeah. But did you have besides that one?

Did you have any other tours or troops or whatever? No, no, not really. I mean, I had like local shows that you're just trying to come up with me. We ran a show at Radio Cafe in East Nashville called Good Friends. Yeah, I remember that. And we were the Good Friends. Oh, that was a good show. That was a good show, good show, good friends, good time.

There's a group photo of all of us on stage. And it's a lot of... That first lineup was crazy. It was all of us and, you know, some others. Yeah, yeah. Some other really funny comics. It was good. I'd never been to.

to Atlantic City. The AQI was 166 when you were there. Oh, yeah. So it was technically unhealthy. Yeah. I mean, somebody, I guess somebody was trying to tell me that Atlantic City could be dangerous. And they were like, I wouldn't go off the boardwalk or maybe just to the beach and I've got, well, obviously, you don't know how I travel. I don't. If I cannot leave my hotel room, I will. Yeah, you're not exactly Anthony Bourdain. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm, you know, I don't, I'm not out here traveling around. I want to ask you guys, so this weekend, I don't know if you saw this, a new world record was set for the fastest mile. I did see that. Guy ran it in three minutes and 42 seconds.

Whoa. And I was just wondering how fast you guys think you could run a mile. I mean, under 10 would be nice. Well, I know it would be nice. Sure. I'll say that's pretty high. I just haven't run a mile in forever, but I think under 10 minutes. When I was in high school, our track was four laps around was a mile.

Yeah. I think if I were able to go around the track one time, that would be really good for me. If I could run, even jog for one lap, that would be good. So you take that time and multiply it by four. Yeah, I wouldn't do the other three. Yeah, let's just get a sample. Yeah. I, uh, what was the previous record?

Well, did, uh, it's funny because the article says it shattered the record. by almost a half second. Wow. My joke was, if you see me running, I'd appreciate if you'd stop and pick me out. I'm probably in some kind of trouble. I was thinking about myself, too. Under 10 minute, under 10 minute would probably be my goal.

Just off the couch running a mile? Yeah, I try to get it under 10. I did a, I had to look it up this morning. I did one 5K. 13 years ago, I did a 5K. A turkey trot? What was it? It was the Titans, the Titans do a 5K

where you run through downtown, you end up on the 50-yard line. That's cool. stadium. And I did it 32 minutes. So that's about a 10 minute mile for three miles. That's great. And you're not like a marathon runner. No, but I was in a lot better shape then than I am now. Did you train for it or anything? Yeah. Okay. A little bit. Yeah. So now, I mean, back then, if I just had one mile to do, I could probably do it. Seven minute mile. Maybe. Yeah, probably. Now I'd be doing good to do 10. Who was the guy that broke the record? What's his name? He's from

Britain. I can't remember his name. Let's give him a shout-out. Yeah. British runner Josh Kerr broke the men's one-mile world record on July 18th at the London Athletics meet. He's 28 years old, three minutes 42 seconds, 0.66, shattering the record of three minutes, 43 seconds, point 13. That's not really shattered. But that had been the record for 27 years. Is that shattering, though? No, I know. It's funny. Yeah. But I think there is probably, what do you think the limit is?

I was like to ask you guys. We're almost pretty close to it probably. So Roger Bannister broke the four minute mile. Yes. Chargerets of fire, right? Is that what that's about? I think, I thought so, yeah.

But it was like a middle breakthrough because right after he did it, then everybody, or not everybody, but a lot of people started doing it. As soon as one person did it, a bunch of people started. People got to say,

nobody's ever going to do four minutes. Yeah. And now we're way past that. But do you think, eventually someone will run a three-minute mile. Wait till the robots start running. I know. We're talking human achievements here.

I think a robot's already won a marathon. I think somewhere in China or something. I don't know. I'd like to... Could you Google how fast we'll eventually? Yeah. We've got to be close to... I mean, it's once every 27 years where I have a second faster.

Yeah. So the theoretical human limit for a mile is estimated to be between three minutes and 30 seconds and three minutes and 40 seconds. So we're like right in there. Yeah. But that might take, based on half a second, that might take another 50 years. Yeah. Man, so yeah, with the speed that we're breaking.

And the way we're eating cheeseburgers, I don't think. I don't think a lot of people are going to be doing it. I don't think the people trying this are eating cheeseburger. I think about sports now from when I was a kid. fill goals in the NFL a 60-yard field goal now is equivalent to like a 50-yard field goal. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.

And somebody, I mean, there's all you guys who've pushed 70. What's the record? 68, maybe. I think it was, I think it's in the 70s. Like last year. I bet Aaron could throw, 80 yards.

Golf ball. I bet you could throw it. Oh, man. 80 yards. And in, well, I was going to say, and in baseball, it's like five miles an hour faster than when I was.

was a kid. Like Nolan Ryan could hit 100. And now there's guys that can hit 105, right? There's a guy, Jacob Mizorowski on the Brewers, who's throwing 106, who's hit 106. And he says he thinks he can get to 108. You guys ever seen The Natural with Robert Redford? I just watched it. So good. Yeah. I think it's better than Moneyball. That's fair. And then the other thing I was going to ask you guys. Just speaking of baseball. Congress. I think you guys are into that. Well, we'll get into it in the comments. Is it good for the love of the game?

I think so. It's one of, it maybe is my favorite now. Okay. So it's an update. It's very good. Since last week. I'd never watched it. If you've traveled much, you probably had that moment where your suitcase is out of your

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Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Congress this or last week passed daylight savings like permanent daylight savings a bill or whatever to make daylight savings permanent I'm not saying it very well has it been signed in the law so now the Senate has to pass it so the House passed it the House passed it and now the Senate has to pass it I've already seen people complaining about it I know they it sounds like it's not going to make it forgot are you in favor of that I want it to be daylight longer but I also don't have to get up and go to work in the morning but it's not it's not like we're talking to God to make daylight longer it's not it's not like we're talking to God to make daylight longer it's It's just shifting. Yeah. So it's not longer. It's just there'll be less daylight in the morning. Yeah, and it'd be more in the daytime in the afternoon. Yeah, that's the whole argument.

It's not... You want it to be daytime longer in the... Like later in the... Yeah, I don't want it to get dark at 5 o'clock. So my question to you guys is, let's say it's exactly 12 hours of daylight, 12 hours of darkness, which is not based on the time of year. But if it was, you could set the time, what would sunrise and sunset be? 630 to 6.

What about you? Eight to eight. Yeah. Eight to eight. That's a late. Dude, they're waking up with seven and it's pitched dark out. Yeah, but you're just going to work. I want a little bit of a sunrise going.

Yeah, you just going to work, though. It's like I feel like it's almost better to go to work when it's dark out. You feel like you got started early. But I think, I think, I'm playing devil's advocate here, eight to eight, I think, wow, the amount of traffic casualties that are going to come. People commuting in the darkness like that every day. I was going to say. It's just a very funny solution. Come on, step it up.

Yeah. I was going to say seven to seven, but I started thinking about it. I think I'd do 630, 630 or also. Here's my reasoning. Some of it's just selfish reasoning. For stand-up comedy, it's better if it's dark. Shows more people come out to shows. You just got to do theaters.

And you can't tell what time of day it is. Well, it's just people are outside doing stuff. Yeah. So 630 is a good time. And then for my. daughter's bedtime. It's hard when it's still daylight outside to get everything wrapped up. 630 is not four. It's a good time. And then it's not so late in the morning. The argument is kids walk into school or waiting for the school bus is dangerous. And then health experts say

your circadian rhythm gets off if it's daylight savings time. Nine to nine. That's what I say now. Nine to nine. Nine to nine. All right. noon to midnight. Might as well. I mean, I do think I don't like it when it gets dark at 4.30. I don't really love it when it gets dark at 830 either. Yeah. Yeah, I'm with it. I love it. One time I was in, I think, North Dakota and I came out of the theater at 9.30, it was still daylight.

Yeah. I loved it. I mean, Alaska on our honeymoon, we never saw nighttime there. Wow. You go outside at 4 in the morning, and it was like it was noon. Yeah. It's pretty wild. I love that.

Yeah. Messes with your brain a little bit. I love the sun. Big fan of it. But I think you're supposed to see darkness every now and then. Yeah. You know what I agree? You should see it.

Yeah, for sure. But right as you're going to sleep. Close your eyes. Yeah. I'm going down with the sun. Uh-huh. That's what I like. Yeah.

But you don't like it when it's this hot. You just complain about the heat. No, I like it. But it is hot. I'm just saying it is hot. You'd be like a wet hot. I like a wet heat. You used to make the argument.

Good special on Netflix, too. Does he used to make the argument. I don't know if he still does that maybe the heat's not even coming from the sun. Well, yeah. I mean, you ever been to Florida? I've been to Florida and it's like, you know, 90 degrees. The sun goes down, still 90 degrees. I'm like, where's this coming from?

Where is it coming? I don't know. But not the sun. I don't know. Have you looked into it at all? I think when the sun hits you and you're in the light, you're like, oh, this is really hot. But when it goes down and it's still around? Heat at night, heat comes from environmental heat radiated by the earth and your surroundings,

structural heat retained by your home and your own body heat. Mm-hmm. Exactly. So it's radiation. Yeah. From the sun. So, yeah. Probably from our cell phones.

5G towers, heating it up out here. You want to get in these comments? Yeah, let's do it. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and mail. at natlandpodcast.com. The first comment comes from a guy named Troy Eaton. Eaton. Eaton lunch.

Eaton. Yeah. You hope he's not big. What's Troy up to? Troy Eaton. You mean Mr. Eaton? He's at the buffet. If your last name's Eaton, that is motivation to get your health together.

Yeah. The Public Figures podcast song is stuck in my head. I like the shortened version, which makes it technically a dusty written song since all Brian and Aaron contributed was being in the room while Dusty created. That's fine with me. Well, even the full version was Dusty. I don't require any attribution for that. That's all you. That's a good song.

And yeah, I mean, I'm a lyrical genius is what I've been referred to as. Thank you, Troy. Thank you. And you know what? Maybe I'll write a song about Troy Eaton. Troy, eating. Eaton. I may write one about you, Troy, and we'll play it next time.

Okay, the next one comes from a guy who turned down college, Z-Buggy. Isn't that his name? Buggy something? What are you talking about? I turned it down. I thought you're just a... Oh, his name's Big Boogie. Big Boogie, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I turned it down. Maybe Z-Buggy went to a guy. He really did go. This has to be the first podcast in history to bring up Johnny Sunami and the boy and striped pajamas consecutively. I don't even remember that. I have no idea what you guys are talking about. We can always count on Aaron to bring the culture to this podcast. If you're looking for a good two movies to watch back to back, that's what I recommend.

Johnny Sunami and then the boy in the striped pajamas. Wow, I've never heard of these at all. You've never heard of the boy in the striped pajamas? No. It's a concentration camp movie. Wow. It's about a boy in the concentration camp uniform and then another kid. Like a chess camp?

A kid who's the son of a Nazi officer comes up to the gate. And he thinks, oh, these guys are wearing pajamas. But they're in their concentration camp uniform. And they befriend each other through the gate. Oh. But then ultimately, I'll spoil it for you. Rescued by Johnston, no one gets rescued. The kid who's the son of a Nazi officer sneaks into the concentration camp and inadvertently gets gassed and killed.

Wow. So just to ruin. the ending for you. It's a brutal watch. I watched that movie in Juvie in South Bend, Indiana. What? I took a class where we spent a week at Juvie and they watched Boy in the Strike Pajamas. That's what the kids that went to Juvie that I grew up with called it too. A class. I took a class. Yeah. I turned out to a class. It was a big jail though.

I had to go to prison for this decade. Brian Lawson. Dusty is right about 50% of the time, but is absolutely right about Uncle Buck. Oh, yeah. Easily in the top 10 movies of all time on my list, an easy watch that always makes me laugh. Brian is right about 99% of the time. Oh, gosh, Brian, you're losing credibility fast. Brian Lawson.

Brian is right about 99% of the time, but not. Not liking Uncle Buck is like finding out someone doesn't like Christmas or thinks Christmas vacation is just an okay movie. Way to step up, Dusty. Your stock is rising. Brian, you're better than that. Brian Lawson, we got bad news for you, buddy. Yeah, Dusty hates Christmas. But you know what? I do think Christmas vacation is a great movie. I actually, Christmas Vacation is a great movie too. I don't like Christmas. We've had this discussion, and I don't don't think we quite agree. I think the first one and the third one are good. What's the second one? Second one is European vacation. Fourth one is Vegas vacation. I don't think those are good.

Oh, Vegas Vacation's great. Yeah, you've said that before, but you're dumb, so. I love that movie. It's only the right 50% of the time. That's so good. I love the idea that Brian Lawson has a tally up somewhere, just keeping track of every time Dusty's right. European vacation, I think, is ruined by Audrey in that movie. The daughter? Yeah. It was the worst Audrey casting of all of them. I mean, I don't know. You don't know, do you? I'm not conversing.

You're not seeing him. No. Have you seen any of them? Yeah, but I don't know, not enough to talk about. Christmas vacation is so good. Yeah, it's great. I saw that. I think it came up my senior year high school.

And the second best one is Vegas vacation. The second best one, better than the original. Is that the best Christmas movie, though? Christmas vacation? Yes, it is. I also think that. Oh, man. I don't know.

I would say the first vacations, the best and Christmas vacation second. And then Christmas movies, you know, then you got Home Alone, elf. Okay. Those are top three for me. I think, um, because of the narwhals. No, what's the, I'm blanking on it. It's like one of the best movies. It's a wonderful life. It's like one of the best movies ever. Never seen it. It's like a top 10 all time, even not just Christmas. It's such a good movie. The, uh, what about the Christmas story? The dad from the Christmas story is in the natural. That's right.

Yeah. Brandon Melcher. You think it's Melcher? I think it's Melcher. I think it's Melcher. Melcher. Melcher. Melcher.

Melcher. Melcher. Brandon Melker. I like that. There's definitely something to the idea of missing the boat on an older movie. I was born in 89 and never saw any of the Indiana Jones movies and tried to watch the first one in my 30s. Couldn't even finish it. Yeah.

get that. I'm not really into the Indiana Jones movies, to be honest. Raiders Lost Art was my favorite movie as a kid. Yeah. I couldn't get in the other ones that much, but I loved Raiders of the Lost Art. That was so good. Is that the second one? No, that's the first one. Okay.

I put on, I posted asking people, what's a movie that everyone seems to love that you just don't care for? Can I read some of the? Yeah, I love to hear some of these. Breakfast Club. Oh, interesting. Incredible movie. A Christmas story. Star Wars, Titanic, Elf, Forrest Gump.

Not liking Forrest... I get, that's like in... Elf and Forrest Gump are both... That's like an artsy take to have that Forrest Gump is not good, that it's like overly sentimental and all that stuff, but it's just a good movie. Yeah, manipulate your emotions. It does that. It does that.

Godfather... I think people, with the manipulation of the emotions, I think people think that, you know, I don't enjoy it. I mean, I, you know, it's like, of course, we like movies and we like feeling it, but I'm just saying that is what's happening. And we shouldn't be crying all the time out here. Anyway, keep going. The Big Lobowski.

Big Lobowski, if you don't like it, this is what I recommend. Watch it again. The first time I watched the Big Lobowski, the first time I watched it, I didn't really like it either. But the second time I watched it, I loved it. And I watched it again because I couldn't understand. why I didn't like it, but everyone else did. So I was like, let's give it another watch. And I loved it.

I think it's worth watching a second time. That's fair. Napoleon Dynamite. Napoleon Dynamite is one of the funniest. I love Napoleon Dynamite. I can see, though, that's, it's a unique type of... It's a type of humor that doesn't, like, my dad would hate watching that. I totally get it.

And I think that one's also a second time around is better. to watch. Because once you already know what's going to happen, then you can focus more on the intricate details, the character development. It's very good. Can I share a couple more missing the boat? Yes. Examples for me. This past week, I started watching for the first time ever the West Wing. That's what I'm talking about. My wife saw it when it came out originally. While she was working in the West Wing. While she was working at the West Wing. I purposely didn't buy a ticket to that boat. Okay.

Anyway. I stayed on shore. Obviously, it's a great show. We've watched two episodes now. Okay. And I'm liking it. And some of it's just you're getting used to the character, so it takes some time. But it started in 1999.

It's not in HD. It's, they talk so fast that I thought, oh, let me put the captioning on. The captioning is from the 90s. So, like, it's over here. and then over here. Like now they make captioning so much better. Yeah. The first episode, Pager is a big part of the...

That's right. Yeah. So I'm enjoying it, but there are things that I'm like, I know I would like this better. There are some things that are extremely dated about it. The pilot, there's like a supposed to be a big moment in the pilot as he gets a page and it says POTUS. And the girl he's with is like, what is POTUS? And he goes, president of the United States.

And then it cuts to the titles. Yes. So everyone knows what POTIS means now. but I guess at the time that was not well known. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that has aged weirdly like everything does for sure. Also, the things that constitute like a political scandal are hilarious.

Yeah. Like in the pilot, Josh's character snaps on like a talk show and it's this huge scandal. And you go, that wouldn't even, no one would even tweet about that now. Yeah, it's crazy.

Snapping on a talk show is what you want to do now. Yeah. Now I would be encouraged. Yeah. And the other one, the World Cup just ended. I tried to get into it. I did not grow up with soccer. Me either.

I have so many friends who I respect who think soccer is the greatest sport. It's the most popular sport in the world. So I know I'm the outlier. It's not even close. Does that make you lose a little respect for them, though? It probably makes them loose respect for me. I just, because I didn't grow up with it, I cannot quite get into it. It's not because you didn't grow up with it.

It's because it's not good. I'm trying and I am starting to maybe appreciate it more. Yeah. But I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet either. I've genuinely tried. Yeah. And then as soon as the U.S. was out this year, I was like, all right.

It's still going. I watched a little bit of the final yesterday, but, you know. But I got a lot of hate comments about Uncle Buck, which I knew I would. I encouraged it. The dusty heads, yeah. Yeah, Dusty last week, he's like, I like Moneyball because Jonah Hill's character, He always stands up for his buddy. And then the comments this week, we're trashing us.

And he's like, that's what I'm talking about. All right. This guy gets it. Listen, I admire that about the Jonah Hill character. I mean, I'm not saying I am that guy. Okay. When you're wrong, you're wrong. You don't know what I mean?

Did you watch Greece? No. He's never going to watch it. Come on. I watch The Odyssey. I watch Greece this week. You know what? You guys watched The Odyssey.

Recently I watch Ulysses, which is the 1954 version. Okay. And I really liked it. Yeah. Then you might like the Odyssey. I probably will watch it. Yeah. Worshiping gods?

No. Well, I'm not saying I enjoyed that aspect of it. Well, it's pre-Christianity. Oh, yeah. So, I mean, way pre. Seventh Century. It's hard to fault them for that. Yeah. But anyway.

I don't fault them. I mean, I, no, no. I mean, I do fault them. I am sorry. I spoke wrong. spoke. I fault them all. Eight hundred years before Jesus, they're supposed to be Christians. Yes. Well, they were supposed to be following God. Well, they were. Their own. Yeah, they're going. Fallen angels. Okay. Ryan Brister.

Doesn't Dusty make a living off using storytelling to manipulate the emotion of laughter out of all of us? This is the point we were making. Do you think that I'm manipulating people by telling them a funny joke? Yes. You think that's manipulate. For me to say something and you to find it funny is manipulating you? Definitionally, you are choosing words, specific words, to elicit a reaction from the audience, your moving facts around, moving words around, your subverting expectations, you're doing all those things and you do it masterfully. Oh, yeah. But I don't think, but I also, and I, and I stand by this too, though. Laughter is positive. It's good. It's overall a benefit. What I'm saying is these movies making you sad, making you scared, like what I liked about The Natural, I watched

this movie, right? And it's like, there was some of that in here. But there was a scene when the, at the beginning of the movie, when the kid, Robert Redford's kid, his dad dies. And it's a, it's a quick scene. It's sad, but they don't milk it. I feel like if that movie were made today, it would be followed up by a funeral scene where all these people would talk about his dad and they would try to milk it for as long as they could to pull tears out of you when really we're like, hey, this is just a part of this guy's story. Okay. So what are the, so let me ask you, do you think a roller coaster is bad because it invokes fear, which is not a positive emotion? Roller Coasters are bad for many reasons, but I think it's excitement.

I don't think it's manipulating you because you're on the ride. You know what the ride's going to do. I know what I'm doing when I watch a movie. I know that there's going to be storyfelling, right? And they're going to... Most people go to horror movies know what they're going into. They want that. But it's also like it creates new fears for you.

You don't know you have this fear. and now you're like afraid to leave your blinds open at night because the movie you watched had some kind of monster on the outside staring at you. And it manipulated you in a bad way. But listen, I love movies. I watch a lot of movies. I'm not anti-movie.

We should just stop for a while. We should stop making new ones, yeah. Yeah. There's plenty of old ones to watch. I mean, Aaron hasn't even watched Greece yet, and you just started West Wing. How many seasons? There's four good ones, but there's seven total.

Yeah, so, I mean, that's... You think you need a new show? Dear Hollywood, Ed. Aaron doesn't see Greece and Broaddice, West Wing. Stop it for a while. Yeah, let them catch up. Wait till we've seen them all and then go, we need a new movie. You should go see The Odyssey, though.

I really think you would like it, and I think once you do, we can talk about it, but I really think you'd like Nolan's take on it. I love fantasy stuff like that. His, the angle he took on it, I think it's a unique. I'd never seen that before, and I really think you'd resonate with it. I also like Jason and the Argonauts. That's another one of those kind of movies I just watched. I used to watch all the Sinbad movies, not the comedian when I was a kid.

The Voyage of Sinbad. You used to watch the comedians movies too, though, right? I did, yeah, I did used to watch those too. I want to mention two. Sinbad's great. Two movies that Erred, I mean, Dusty and I totally agree. You and I agree on a lot. I mean, Shaw Shakespeare's our favorite movie.

Apollo 13. Yeah. Dead Point Society. One's a classic, one a little bit more obscure that we both love. Rocky. Rocky's great.

And we love it for the same reason. We've talked about this movie. It's... I'm part of it. Okay. Fair enough. The other one that you mentioned was before that you said you love,

that's one of my favorite comedies too is About a Boy. Oh, man. So good. Yeah. I know it. About a Boy is the... What's it about?

It's Hugh Grant. It's Hugh Grant. And it's so good. This guy, the kid is like a famous actor now, too. Well, he's a beast in the X-Men movies. And Tony Colette's in it. Yeah, Tony Collette's in it. She's great.

Yeah, Nicholas. Holt. Yeah. All right. He's Lex Luther. Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right.

I'll check this out. He's great. About a Boy is so good. There's only two Hugh Grant movies I like. That's about a boy and music and lyrics with Drew Barrymore. You ever seen that one? I don't think I have. That's a great one.

Did you see four weddings and a funeral? No. I like that one. Okay. Okay. One thing I love about summer is getting out of town. Let's be honest. When you're traveling, your routine goes completely out the window.

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three months. Whether I'm at home or living out of a suitcase for a few days, AG1 is one healthy habit I don't have to think twice about. It's simple. It travels easy and it helps me stay consistent even when everything else changes. I love taking my AG1 every day and I recommend it to my family and friends. It supports my immune system and my immune defense. So how could I not want the people around me getting the same benefits? Visit drinkag1.com slash Nateland to get a free AG1 travel case with seven free AG1 travel packs in your welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription order while supplies last. That's drinkag1.com slash natland. All right, Julia Mooney, I love here in St. Augustine. Is that what you said?

Augustine, now I like Augustine. Because St. Augustine is a Florida, a place in Florida. I like St. Augustine. I like that. I love hearing about St. Augustine on the pod. I sent Dusty that quotation. All right. Thanks, Julia. Aaron, I look forward to your spinoff podcast reading the Summa with Dusty. Oh, that would be a good one. We'll crawl through the Summa Theologico with you. Yeah. Here's my question. I assume that that won't happen. That was good. That was real good. I hope that's the laugh that you deserve. Brian finally gets what he's earned here. Can I ask you a question?

So you quote St. Augustine, to back up your point, did you quote that because you just think he worded very well what you were trying to say? Or do you think his saying that gives your view credibility? Well. Or do you just think that was a really beautifully worded? I think, I don't, yeah, I don't know who he is. So I think it was worded really well. and also said stuff that I wasn't necessarily even thinking about, but I agree with.

The part where he says, we're watching people go through things that we ourselves wouldn't wish to go through. And then we're having the emotion as if we went through it. But yet when the movie's over, we get to go back to our regular lives after watching a bunch of people's family members die or something. We cry about it. And then we go, all right, off to my regular life. That's right. Folly. Yeah.

You like that word. I do. Yeah. Rebecca Danforth. Totally agree with Dusty on his money ball take. I watched it with my husband for the first time this year, and we couldn't concentrate on the plot because Brad Pitt is too hot. Well, Rebecca, you may have some other issues. Your husband, too, maybe.

But, yeah, I mean, I don't. I wasn't having trouble. I appreciate you, Rebecca. I wasn't having trouble concentrating on the plot because he's too hot. Her husband was. But I just find it, you know, like Robert Redford, very attractive man. Yeah. But in the movie The Natural, he's a, you know, he's an athlete.

And he's like, his struggles are are much different that he's going through. Then Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt was just, you know, got drafted. Because I was thinking about it later. And I'm like, well, you got drafted. You played for four or five years. Probably made a bunch of money. I wonder if you couldn't call up that college and, you know, get your scholarship.

Yeah, you couldn't do that at the time. You know, I don't know. I mean, I wonder, though, or maybe even just afford to send yourself there. Or maybe you don't even have to go to that big of a college. Maybe you go to a big college in Jacksonville or something, you know. For a decade. Yeah. A lot of people loved your Dennis Quaid.

Casting. Yeah. It says spot on. He's in a baseball movie called The Rookie, which is great. But I think his being attractive actually serves the character because the point of it is, here's a guy who checked all the conventional boxes that scouts look for. They talk about it in the movie. They go, he's got a good jaw line. He's got an attractive girlfriend.

He checked all those boxes and didn't pan out. So then his drive, his ambition is to shatter that system, which he's. thinks is broken. So it actually serves the character a little bit, I like that. I like that. You know, and I don't know if you're supposed to feel sorry for him. I get, I get what you're saying. There are movies like that where I go like, uh, I don't feel bad for, you talked about it with wedding crashes. I don't feel bad for either of those guys. But I don't think you're supposed to feel bad for Brad Pitt. I think you're supposed to just accept that this guy's on a mission and that he's driven, right? Yeah, I like that.

St. Aaronstein over here. Yeah. I like that. That's good. Good. Wedding Crashers. Who's supposed to feel sorry for those guys? Well, you know, there is this moment where you feel sorry for Owen Wilson because he now loves this girl. Yeah. And he's trying so hard to get her. And you're like, I hope he does. I hope he does because he loves her. After he's just been taking, well, talk about emotionally manipulating. That's what that whole movie is about in their lives. Yeah. You know, they're crashing funerals later. in the movie. Yeah.

You're saying you're not invested at his personal love story. Yeah. I mean, everything he did. At the end of the day, it's like, hey, buddy, you know, you're doing fine.

If you don't get this one, you'll be okay. Jason. I like that. I have all the names we've had. We've got a simple Jason, spelled with an E. Spelled weird.

Yeah. Jason. Jason. Aaron not seeing white chicks is crazier than Nate, not seeing Shawshank. How is that possible? Honestly, I don't think it's as crazy, but I was shocked that you had not seen. It's one that I missed for sure. It came out. I just looked it up. It came out when I was 13. But this is my argument I've made previously. People lose,

there's a million movies out there. We can't see them all. But that would have some. Stop making them. White chicks had some lasting cultural impact, though. It is one that I should have seen at some point. I would think that would be right in your wheelhouse, though. And that's why. I'm not shocked that you haven't seen Greece, but I was shocked about. But white chicks sitting at a 15% rotten tomatoes versus Shawshake, widely considered one of the best movies of all time. There's a bit of a difference. I looked up our three movies on Rotten Tomatoes.

Moneyball, by far the highest. Okay. Interesting. Grease second, Uncle Buck third. Yeah, but Uncle Buck and Greece weren't around when Rotten Tomatoes first came out. Yeah, they had a re... That's a retroactively farm all their reviews. People like you and Aaron, rating them.

Well, my heroes, Siskel Niebuhr, gave it. Which one? Uncle Buck. I'm against giving bad reviews. I've never given a bad review. I've never given less than five stars. I've never given a bad review anywhere. I had a horrific Airbnb experience.

I mess with the guy. I want you to know how bad this was. I'm not going to give you a bad review, but I want you to know how terrible it is. Did you give him a positive review? I just didn't review. Yeah, that's the way. Can I ask you all this? This is a serious question.

movies, I can give you an opinion if I think a movie is good or bad and why I feel that way. But music, I just like it or I don't. I can't give you, but you'll mention all the time, like, you too,

they haven't had any good music in forever or a cold play or whatever. And I'm like, what is it about it that changes? I don't really believe you two's ever had much of anything just for the record, but I don't want people thinking that I'm, it's a beautiful day as a good song.

I like that one. Okay. Well, about Coldplay that made you like the whole stuff? Well, Coldplay. I just don't understand music. Coldplay, to me, now, you know, a lot of people might be offended by this. But Coldplay, the original album, had a little bit of a radio head fill to it, a little radio head light. And then they got real poppy.

And that's what I think. What about you, Aaron? The same thing that I have with Maroon Five. You know, Maroon Fives, their first album, songs about Jane, is awesome. And they were a real band. They had real instruments, and then the instrumentation changed over time, and they became like this. You wouldn't even know that they're a band if you hear them now. And you can make the same argument about Coltsman.

Same for Kings of Leon. I think the first two albums were unbelievable. And then I think it feels like people got involved behind the scenes, and they were like, the lead singer has a very unique voice. Let's just lean on that and less of the band. And then you kind of, people still like it. And they had good songs. I mean, their most popular song is not on those first two albums.

You just know music better. That Libre I song you guys made fun of. I liked it. I thought it was good. But maybe because I just think he is a nice guy and his wife's an nice guy. And I hate for you guys making fun of him. Well, listen. I know that you listen to my podcast.

And so I just like that song. He's a good person. This gave a full breakdown on my whole Libreis experience. Where you hung out with him, right? Yeah. And you hit it off? Yeah, I mean, he's a great guy. Why were you so mean to him?

Well, I don't know if any of us were ever like he's probably a bad guy. I admitted that I still don't like that song. It was funny to see him cry and singing. But you know what? Libreis embraced it. And he, because a lot of people were saying that he said, kiss my fish. Yeah, yeah. And he made hats that said kiss my fish.

Oh, that's fun. So he embraced it. All right. And I, you know, I'm a big fan. Plus, he's huge, and I was terrified to meet him. But does he know you made fun of it? Well, I don't know that he ever heard it, but I did say that I made fun of it. Yeah.

And he laughed about it? Well, no, I didn't tell him. Oh, okay. He knows. He told your Uber driver. But I didn't tell him. Okay. I got you.

He know. It got back to him. Got you. Okay. But I like him. I do like him. He was actually a very nice guy, and he's been, you know. And also, I got invited to the Opry for Jamie Johnson's birthday bash, and Lee Bryce was there.

And, you know, Jamie Johnson, who I respect so much as a musician, as a person, he loves Lee Bryce. And I go, who am I to be like, this song by Lee Bryce is not good? That's not a good song, but who am I to say it? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And plus the guy's huge.

Nobody's stopping him from catching his fish. Nobody's stopping him. Or cutting his yard. Yeah, he can do whatever he wants and nobody's going to do anything about it, okay? All right. I was a little sad when we took a pick together that he leaned down a little bit because I wanted people to see how huge he was. Yeah. He played football at Clemson.

Oh, did he really? Yeah, found none out. You see that pick. He kind of looks like, I forgot the guy's name now, the character from Yellowstone. Oh, the mean dude, the big dude? Yeah, not Kevin Costner, obviously, but what's his name? I never saw it. But he's the actor that has been in a bunch of stuff.

Yeah. Oh, well. All right, the next one. Hannah Thornton. Brian needs to grab some Paw Paw, A-L-8 for Dusty while he's in Lexington. Do you know what Papa L-8 is? Go ahead and pull it out. You picked it up, right?

Oh, did you? You actually did. Oh, my goodness. Boom. You got a four-pack right here. I was totally trying to call you out. That's hilarious. I said, I have a case, actually, but in my car.

I was totally trying to call you out that you didn't do it. That's hilarious. Brimming with exotic flavors of Kentucky's only native tropical fruit, sipping Paw Paw, Paul A.L.A. will transport you to the most pristine beaches on the shores of the Commonwealth. Oh. Paul A.L.8 is made with real sugar, has no artificial flavoring and no dives. No high fructose corn syrup.

No. That's the first thing I checked. Very good. It does have some vegetable glycerin in it. whatever that is. He's got some paw-paw in it. Yeah. This is from, he brought this to the show.

This is from Scott Morgan, fan of the podcast, and he works for L-8-1. All right. Manchester, Kentucky. So thank you, Scott. Yeah. I got a case in my car so we can all get wild. We can all have a couple of pawpaws. I have one right now.

Yeah. It's a little warm. They call it a Kentucky banana. Wow, that's so funny. I was really just calling you out being like, oh, pull it on out. And you had it. I had no idea. Yeah.

Oh, my bad. I didn't know. She is. Can't have anything around here. You don't know how bottles open? For sure, it would be. I thought for sure it wouldn't be a twist-off. It was right into the mic.

That's not bad. Are you going to drink it? Yeah, let's try. You obviously have the first sip there. Paul, Paul, L-8, huh? Paul L-8, right there. That's a big goal. It does have alcohol in it.

No, it doesn't. Come on. That's very good. Wow. That's very good. It says, not your papa's pawpaw. Yeah. Sorry, I did touch the bottle a little bit myself, but...

I'm sorry, I waterfolded it. I'm not comfortable. Oh, that's crisp. Yeah, it's very good. Yeah, it's almost like an apple cider, but with a pawpaw. Can I just have my own? Just waterfall it like a man. Well, I brought you guys like...

No, we're saving those three for his family, dude. Just... Yeah. Yeah. Get in there. Gotta get in there. Yeah. How was it?

Madam. Madam. It was great. It was great. I'm not Stone Cold Steve Austin. I think I would, I'd like to try one cold. Yeah. But it is good. I liked it. It is good. You know, speaking of Stone Cold Steve Austin, there's a really funny clip. There's a kid, he has Down syndrome, and there's a kid who he's about to get in that. Steve Austin doesn't. No, no, the kid. The kid. Yeah. He's about to get in the hot tub with his family. He's got two. beers and their bottles and he smashes

them together. They're saying, don't do that. Don't do it. It's such a great clip. Okay, this next guy, I read a little ahead of the comment.

Before I read the comment, I want to point out that his name is Red Solo Cup. Pretty notorious bad song that I enjoy it. I like it, but it is a bad song. All right. So that,

being said, this guy goes, yuck! That intro, that outro song is so bad. I'd rather hear Dusty sing the national anthem. So, well, go ahead. How's that make you feel? Do you, uh, I don't know that I know the whole national anthem, but once you get going, you could do it. Oh, say, can you see? Join in. By the dawn's early lights. What's so proud. we hailed. Come on. At the twilight Everybody, at the twilight's last gleaming, who's brought

stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight whatsoever Or the ramparts we watch. We're so gay, I don't know the word, I don't know the word, are so gas streaming. And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air

gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say, because that star spangle banner yet waits. It's longer than I thought. For the land of the free and the home of the Braves. I like to say Braves. There you go, Red Solo Cup. We're still playing that outro song, though.

Be careful what you asked for, bud. Be careful what you asked for. I wanted to join in, but you requesting we join in at the end of every stanza. It was very funny. Come on, guys, everybody. Yeah. It was like a... Check on Kathy.

She might have killed herself. Yeah. She did a while ago. She did halfway through the songs episode. Rest and peace, Kathy. Okay. Sergeant. Oh, their last one. Wow.

You ready? Yep. Sergeant Chris Littlefield. All right. Sergeant. Littlefield. That's a tough name. I'm currently...

Oh, well, all right. Well, let me... Listen, it's a great name. I'm currently a law enforcement. officer in Raleigh for 18 years and counting. A listener from the beginning, and I'm a huge fan of the show. Many people have had to listen to your show on the way to jail. I do my best to spread the word. Keep the podcast coming. Y'all stay safe. All right, Chris. Oh, my God. All right, Sergeant. It's great. They're back there going, just kill me now. Just kill me. I like to think that somebody on the way to jail is

going to have to listen to me sing the national anthem. And even Chris turns it off. I'm going to say it's their scared straight program. Turn it off. I swear. That's awesome. Well, that's a perfect segue because today we are talking about prison. All right. Yes. All right. Now, you've spent some time in juvie. I have spent a little bit of time in juvie. Took a class. Yeah. Dusty, you've been behind bars a lot. So I have one time I got arrested. Yeah. What was that like? How long were you in jail? I don't know, eight hours or so.

I was there and us. Did it change you? No. There's a couple people in there from my, you know, that I went to high school with. It's great. Like one guy from down the hall yelled my name and then another guy in the cell with me. We knew a lot of the same people and we talked and. You hated to leave.

Yeah. It's just good to catch up with people. Yeah. Guys, I never thought I'd be the kind of guy who actually had money set aside for something fun. But after using Rocket Money's, automatic savings, I finally can easily save enough to take a fun trip with my family we've been talking about for years. It's amazing how those small amounts add up when you're not constantly thinking about it. I like the rocket money automatically sorts all my spending across every account

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I know you haven't been to prison. I have not. But I did do a show at a prison. I think I've told this before, but maybe five years ago, a magician friend of mine, Jason Michaels, who works a lot with Stephen Bargatsy, they do a program where they go into prisons and do a show for them. And Stephen, they were doing back-to-back day. Stephen could do one day with Jason, but he couldn't do the next day.

So I said, I'll do the next one. So this was at Trialstow County Correctional Facility, which is known as the worst prison in Tennessee, the worst criminals, worst conditions. Maximum security? Yeah. And Stephen goes to the first day. And Stephen's incredible. And magic, I can't imagine how much.

they love that. It just seems like the perfect thing. They're like, hey, get me out of here. How do you open a lock? And I think from what I'm told, it was like in the library. Okay. Word got out about how great this magic show was that day two, they had so many people coming that they had to move it to like the gym. Whoa.

But Stephen's not coming. I'm coming. Talk about a prison. Well, it almost did. It got out of hands. We were there for probably two hours before the show started because they couldn't get these inmates under control. And Jason told me, he did a show with me a few weeks ago. And he said, you know, I talked to so-and-so that ran the program. He said there was a full-blown riot that almost broke out that day because the inmates were like so. Who was this guy? Well, not just me. Yeah. But it led so many of them in there to see them show. that some rival gangs and stuff were... Oh, wow. And the warden, he made... That's where the worried took hold of you.

It didn't help. The warden made them all go back, line back up, start all over. So it was like two hours before everyone got counted off and sat down their seats. And then I didn't have a mic. Oh, my gosh. Everyone always talks about this show in prisons, the best audience ever, not for me. Did you have an opener or was it just... Jason did magic before me.

Okay. People were canceling their appeals asking for the death penalty. No, they just went back to their cell. 23-hour lockup. They're like, I'm going to head on back. So it didn't go great. So, yeah, it was, so I have been to prison for a few hours. Here's what I...

Probably a worse experience than I had. Yeah. Actually being locked up. We had some good laughs. I would say... No laughs, right? The one thing I know, I mean, there's a few things I noticed that's not like the movies. one is I just assumed like there's prison guards there with weapons.

Nobody had weapons. Interesting. And I asked about it and they're like, we can't run the risk that they'll just overthrow us and then they have the weapons. You get swarmed and they grab it. Yeah. So nobody had weapons. There was people who worked there,

but they didn't have weapons on them. Wow. So that was scary that if they did choose to do something, you know. So you brought a gun? You were armed. And then of course they make you leave your phone. you can't bring your phone in. Yeah.

You know, so I didn't get to... Prison terrifies me. I don't even want to take prison tours, but, you know, the Opelika correctional facility is not that bad. I took a tour of the Mansfield Correctional Facility, north of Columbus, Ohio, which is where they filmed the Shawshank Redemption. Yeah. That prison, it used to be a functional prison, and now it's just...

They do ghost tours and stuff there, but it's mostly tours for the movie. But I have performed in one prison. I had a different experience than you. This was the Lando Lakes State Prison in Minnesota. I think it was medium security. But here's what they told us. Women's prison. They go, no, it was all men.

I'm pretty sure it was all men. We didn't see any women there. Red Pitt. But they told us that it was widely considered the best prison in the state, so much so that inmates were disproportionately well-behaved because none of them wanted to be transferred to an. another prison if they got in trouble. So who knows if that's true, but that's what they told us when we're going in.

You're going to be great. So I went there with some organization. I don't remember the name. It was when I was with John Christ on the road. And we did a show there who opened for us was an improv troop of inmates. And they had a group like seven or eight of them. And they had this whole improv show kind of trashing John to his face. It was really funny, actually.

Yeah. They like in a prison? Where did it already got in there? They researched. They got to research him. And then they wrote all these jokes just trashed them, making fun of them, and we're in this prison. And they had a sketch. They did a sketch about like getting his girlfriend's phone number from him and stuff.

It was wild. Wow. And, but they were our tour guides, too. So we spent the whole day there, this improv trouper showing us around, around the prison and stuff. What were they in for? You weren't allowed to ask. Most of them ended up telling you. Yeah.

We all had guys, a variety of stuff, variety of stuff. I had a guy, different. I mean, because we were there so long waiting, some would come up and start talking to you. And there was one guy came up and he had a toothbrush in his back pocket. And I'm like, what's that for? And he pulled it out. He would not sharpened off the end of it.

He showed it to? Yeah, as a weapon. We had much different experiences, man. He's like, I mean, he was just saying it's for protection. Yeah. He wasn't playing on using it. He was just if he needed it, you know. Wow.

So I'm like, get me out of here. What'd he do? I don't know if he told me. Okay. One guy asked me to get a message to his wife and daughter and gave me her phone number. And I called her. I was so, I felt so bad for this guy that I did it. And I think I left a message and she never, you know, I don't know.

But he. Ghosted again. That's great. Imprope. Suggest. Suggestion. He's escaping. Hey, Sarah.

Yeah, this is Brian Bates. I did a show in prison with your husband. And you get a toothbrush in his back pocket, sharpened. Different guy, different guy. And he wanted me to get a message to you. There's actually a court order not to talk to her. Brian violated it. Probably so.

What I remember about that show, I had a joke at the time. I still do it occasionally, but I had a joke about, I drive a minivan. And the joke is, I call it a minivan. I never call it a van. If I say minivan, you go, oh, he's taking kids to soccer practice. If I say van, you go, oh, he's taking kids from soccer practice. And I did that at the prison, and it got a laugh. And then it turned into, ah, everybody played in each other.

Oh, no. Playfully, right? But it just hit a little bit different in a prison. Yeah. But I had, honestly, a great experience there. That's wonderful. Everyone I've ever talked to has done a person. prison and said that. Everybody I talked to was great. I mean, you know, they're all in there for

crazy stuff. Some of them are, but they all, you know, we hung out with them all day. I hung out with a guy who was a huge baseball fan and he, the only way he could follow baseball was he got the newspaper and he would look through the box scores every morning. That's what I do. Yeah. I would have hit it off. You're in a prison of your own mind, Brian. Have you ever known anyone that's going to prison? Um, jail. Yeah, I'm in prison, though. Yeah, it's too, totally. Yeah. Very different things. I don't know. I feel like I had a friend that went to prison. Yeah. I feel like I know people that went to prison. Yeah. In Australia. Really? Yeah. Yeah. That was from your mission trip? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I wrote him a letter a few months ago and he just wrote me back. Yeah. Read it. Crazy. I don't have it on me.

Oh, nine. But, yeah, it's crazy. I used to work with a guy who I've mentioned on the podcast before because he said he only drank mountain dew for 40 years. Yeah. Never drank water.

And he said that while he was battling cancer. But anyway, he also claimed to be one of the few Americans in regular correspondents with Charles Manson. Wow. They would write letters to each other, like kind of talking trash to each other. Yeah. For years.

They had a pen pal relationship. This guy's weird enough that, yeah, I do. I do believe him. He's a guy who, if somebody said that to you, like, you'd look at him and go, yeah, but you probably do do that. Yeah. Did he pass away? I don't know. I need to check on it.

Charles Manson did. Yeah, I'll make your friend. Yeah. So, Dusty, when you got arrested, do you do the whole mugshot, fingerprint and all that? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I got, you know, with my court case, I got youthful offender, which is a, you know,

you know, takes it off your record. Yeah, it's expunged. So I don't know if the mugshot is even out there. So you don't even have to talk about it because there's no record of it. Right. It's been expunged. Yeah. Yeah.

But I... But you're a different man now. Yeah. And it was one of those things where it's like, this is your first offense. So you can get this. If you get in trouble again, you know, you can't get that again. But, uh, so I don't know. I've never seen the mugshot.

I mean, I would be interested in seeing it if it were out there. But I've never seen it. If you have it out there, send it to us. Yeah, yeah. Don't go looking for it, guys. Did you... They will. Did you get one phone call?

Yeah. I don't know if I got one, but I, you know, I was allowed to make a phone call. I called my brother-in-law, and he, you know, I had my own money for bail. So I called him. He came and got my debit card and went to the ATM and got the money. money and bailed me out. Did you, were you able to look up his number? Did you have to just dial it off memory?

Because right now I would have to call J.G. Wentworth. I think I don't even know my wife's number. I think back then I still had numbers memorized. I do have my wife's number memorized. My dad's number is still the same from my childhood, so I got it. But, you know, those are about the only numbers I have memorized. My own, my wife's, and my dad's. Yeah.

I read that that's mostly just for movies and TV shows, the one phone call. Yeah. If you call somebody like your lawyer or whatever and they don't answer, they're not going to say you're out of luck. They don't go. That's it. Yeah, you're stuck here forever. Yep. You're doing life, pal.

Yeah. So, all right, Aaron, you get arrested. Yeah. I don't know, stealing money from Prater Willie. Okay. Embezzlement. The whole Prater's silly thing is just a scam for you to, you know. You go to prison.

Listen, what's your, what's your game plan? What, first day, what's your, Emma? What are you going to do? I shawshank it, man. I start to cook the books. Well, you don't, he didn't do that on day one. Well, I get in there quick. Let's say we all.

I buddy up to the warden. Okay. I help him embezzle money from the state. And that's how I survive in there. And then he gives me cover from the bad people. They're not called that in the movie, but yeah. Well, I think it's terrifying. It scares me. I think the plan would be to just pray, meditate, and fast up until going in and be so spiritually ready that I go in and then I just, you know, I don't know. I just try to be stoic and meditate. Keep your head down. Keep my head down. Pray that God protects me.

I would get a tattoo right here since breakfast. I'd walk you and say it's breakfast time. Who would you say that too? The biggest guy in there. You've got to, the biggest guy in there, you got to just go face to face with him. And then I just,

you know, people would know I'm hard. Yeah. Wouldn't mess with me. Yeah. Let's say the three of us go to prison together. We're sticking together as friends, or are we doing our own thing?

Nah, I'm out. I'm out right away. I'm pretending. I don't even know you all to. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they're going to, do they make you cut your hair in prison?

Did I let you have a long? I would shave my head. Would you really? Yeah. And facial hair and everything, too? I don't know. I would shave my head, though. You'd be a whole different.

You feel like it's safer? I look, I feel like it is safer. I also think I look scarier with a shaved head. I have a widow's peak that looks pretty scary. Okay. And that's what I would do. All right. That's probably smart.

Yeah. I mean, I've said, what would you do, Brian? With my hair? Yeah. Grow it out. Yeah, they grow out. I've always said, I've said this before, for Shawshank, you're Andy DeFring, you're Morgan Freep, you're red.

Okay. Yeah. Wise and no street smarts. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. And I'm Brooks. Yeah. Older, not probably not going to make it the outside.

You're institutionalized. Yeah. And I always said Nate was the warden. You would say, obtuse. say, what did you say to me? Oh, that is, that's really funny. I also said he was Tommy because he helped him read better. Yeah, but he ended up.

He passed the, he got his GED, though. Because Andy helped him. Oh, okay. Right? I'm saying, Nate would have failed it. Oh. All right. I watched a movie called Lockup recently with Stallone.

You ever see that one? No. You know what? It's a pretty terrible movie, but I did enjoy it. That is a great endorsement. All right, let me ask you this. Okay. I mean, I've got some prison facts here.

This is fun. But I wanted to kind of get in some what-if scenarios. There's a great, I found one night, I went on a rabbit hole one night. There's a Reddit for people about to go to prison. And they're on there. Like, after I report in tomorrow prison for, you know, six months or whatever, any advice. And there's all kinds of people who used to be in prison giving advice on there. It's fascinating to read whatever.

Oh, and also do push-ups. Okay. every day as many as I could. To try to get buff before you go in? Just, yeah. Yeah, I saw your pecks just then. Yeah, I've been doing push-ups again. After the peck thing last week that I did.

Oh, you liked the way that fell in. Yeah, I go, you know what? I'm about to get back into push-ups. All right, if you had the option in this pretend world, roommate, cellmate or not, and you're in there 20 hours a day. I've taken like random, random selection? You're rolling the dice, huh?

I don't know what the right answer. I imagine some companionship is nice, but I think being on your own, but it could be bad. Yeah. What about you, Dustin? I mean, I think I'm going no roommate because I, you know, I don't mind being alone. Let's say me and you go to prison together and you have the option, do you want a room alone or do you want to have Aaron as a roommate? Who you take?

I'll take his roommate. Thanks, man. Yeah. Yeah. I'd definitely go so. I'd roll the dice. We'd be arguing all day about stuff, but at least it would keep our mind sharp. They keep our mind sharp.

I've said before, I think I would not go remote, but you've argued you'd go crazy that alone for that many. It depends on what your sentence is. I mean, it depends on what the situation is. Some prisons, you're going to have a lot of time outdoors and socializing. I'm saying in this scenario. Extreme situations, you're, you know, 23 hours a day, solitary. Get some reading down.

You get a lot of reading. Yeah. Yeah, but you don't read. Yeah, but I would. start reading. Yeah, I mean, that's the kind of conditions I need to read. That's all there is. Yeah.

Okay, what if you're in a minimum security prison? Okay. And what didn't have to be? Just for the series of this, you have an option. You can have a cell phone, but YouTube's blocked, maybe some other, no streaming services. But you've got the internet, you can make calls, you can text. Yeah. Or you got a TV with.

everything, stream of services, all that. Which one are you doing? I'm taking the internet. I'm taking the TV. Okay. As long as it's an old TV. Yeah, because you don't want to be here at well, at that point. He's got all his DVDs he's bringing in. I think just texting. I mean, I think that would be really hard, especially if you're in there for a long time. You're able to communicate with people, but you almost, I don't know,

it feels like you almost want to let the outside go. And let them not have to worry about you. you the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, you're like, ah, my friend in prison's texting me again. What's you up to? Just hanging out? Well, I'm here. I'm in prison. That must be tough. What's it look like out there today? Yeah. But you can keep up with sports. You can keep up. I used to work at a company. We had a call center. We employed a ton of prisoners in the Oregon correctional system. And they were like, one level of the call center process was all these prisoners. And that was like their job in the

prison. And they apparently loved it because it was like one of the cushiest jobs you could get there. So they were on a computer all day. Huh. Yeah. If you could have a job, I mean, if you, what would you choose to do in prison? I'd go full shawshank, dude. I would tutor the people. I'll build a library. Here's some options that are more realistic janitor, laundry worker, groundskeeper, kitchen staff. Probably not the kitchen. Groundskeeper, I bet you want some outdoors. You want to maximize your outdoors time.

I like groundskeeper, but I'm also not anti-kitchen staff. Why is that? I don't know. It just feels like, you know, I've worked in restaurants before. You start to become friends with the other people you work with. You're bonding. Okay. I think that could be fun.

You've worked in a kitchen. That's why you'd say no. You'd be back there. eating the fries. Not a prison cafeteria, though. I imagine it's much different. I imagine it's a much different work environment. Though a lot of the guys I worked with were on work release.

Yeah. The guy, the dishwasher, my buddy Dale, he had to go back to prison every night. Wow. He was a great dude. Yeah. But he was like, I like it here. Yeah, yeah. If your team's communication is messy, customers feel it.

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slash Nateland. If you did not commit the crime, but you got sentenced to prison. And they said you can either get five years if you say you did it or 10 if you don't admit you did it. Well, that's what happens a lot, right? That's a huge problem. People plead guilty because they're told. You can take your chances at trial, but you're going to lose and you'll do 25 to life. Or you plead guilty and you do five years.

It's like a huge problem. So a lot of people get trapped into that and they just weigh the options. I feel like that's tough. That is tough. Most of those people I feel like probably are guilty. They just, to avoid trial, just go ahead. Well, never let this guy on a jury, you know? I don't want to be able to.

I assume if you're here, you're guilty. Well, I think he's probably right, though, in a lot of those scenarios where they're like, you could fight it. You're guilty. You could fight it. But yeah, I mean, given the choice, it's like you might be like, well, yeah, I mean, I want to take the lesser sentence and not risk going to jail forever. But I think they're even, I don't know, all my experience is movies.

But I think that even then you might go, we'll get you down to five. And then there's no guarantee you're only going to get the five. Can I ask you this? Would you rather go to prison for six months or you go to prison until you can solve a Rubik's Q? Six months. I think you could figure out a Rubik's Cube in six months. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. How close could you come now? I think I've gotten aside. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah. That's all I'm done. Yeah.

There are 24 hours of day. Six months hits. I'm going. I can be getting out. Let me share some prison terms, see if you guys know what they mean. Okay. A bullet. A bullet.

No idea. I'm going to take a cigarette. Like ammunition from a gun? The other, yes, but in prison terms. Oh. I'm saying a cigarette. Can you use it in a sentence? Can you?

Yeah. I'm in for a bullet. for a year. I have no idea. That's right. A year? One year prison sentence. Wow.

Why is it called that? I don't know. Okay. All right. You're setting the tone for how the rest of these are going to go. I can't know everything, guys. Come on. Yeah.

Okay. So the one year bullet is called that because the entire, oh, go. That's for. AI doesn't know. AI's never been to prison. Yeah, but in prison. Okay. If this, it doesn't say why.

Okay, the term can also refer to a single portion of a split cigarette. Oh, you're right on both. Dusty's always right. Okay. Yeah, go ahead. So we don't know. All right. I had no idea.

I mean, I can spend all day looking it up, but I couldn't find it right away. That's all me. A skid bid. A skid bid, is that like a quick sentence? Yes. A fast sentence. Oh, I was not going to get that. Skid bid.

A very short or abbreviated prison sentence. I thought you said a skid bed. I was going to say, that's night too. A nickel. That's five-year sentence. Yep. A dime. Oh, let me think.

Ten years. A bow. A bow, B-O-W? A B-O-W. I mean, I don't know. I hope all these are not related to time. Is that a life sentence? Yeah.

Interesting. Why do they call it a bow? Put a bow on it. I don't know. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah, actually. Buck Rogers' time? Buck Rogers' time.

That's where parole is very, very far away. Very good. A release of parole date that's unlawful. magically far into the future. It's pulled up on my computer. Let me get it in here. Okay. Did you really?

I looked up a bullet and that was listed there. I cheated on that one. Okay. I was like, jeez. I watched Shawshank a lot. Yeah. I know all that. Backdoor parole?

That's where you get maybe, you got some, something happened that is getting you out. You died in prison. Oh. Backdoor. parole. Yeah. Okay. I was right, though. Something's happening. Something happened. Yeah. It did. That's a save bet for any of these. Something happened, I bet. Something happens, I bet.

Something goes on. A Jody? A Jody. That's like you're somebody that's sleeping with your wife while you're in prison. Yeah. How'd you know that? I've heard that in military term. Oh, okay. When you're deployed. Yeah. Okay. I never heard that. Yeah. J-O-D-Y?

I think it's J-O-D-I. Okay. The hole. I think you guys know what the hole is. Yeah. Solitary. Yeah. 23 hours.

Solitary confinement. The rest of these, probably no. Lost my place here. You guys did much better than I expect. Conjugal visit. Yeah. That's only in. That's when the Jody's not available.

The wife comes in. That's only in four states that allows that. Wow. California, Washington, New York, and Connecticut. All right. So try to go to prison there. Yeah. And Ted Bundy at the end, Ted Bundy at the end,

befriended a lot of the guards and they gave him a lot of unofficial conjugal visits. Wow. Yeah. And he actually had a child while he was in prison on death row. That's crazy. Yeah. Well, congrats. I was single until I was 48.

Ted Bundy's a serial killer and just hooking up. up all the time? He hadn't admitted to everything yet, so who knows? But he did end up admitting to everything. So currency in jail used to be cigarettes. And now it's called the Mac economy refers to pouches or cans of mackerel, commonly known as Max, which serves as the primary currency. Macrole fish? I guess. Pouches or cans of... I assume like ramen noodle packets and stuff like that, like food commissary items. says macros took over as the standard unit of exchange due to it holds high stable value

so smoking's banned in prisons it's when prisons went downhill yeah I mean the war on tobacco just continues it's like you're in prison and you can't even smoke I mean that's where you'd want to smoke you're like who cares what do you think is let them let them light up yeah Did you find it? Yeah, the Mac economy. One packet of mackerel equals roughly $1, which easily buys services like a beard trim or cell cleaning.

We're talking fish? I guess. Alongside fish pouches, also stamps and ramen noodle packets are heavily utilized for trading and paying off debts. Huh. So, maybe work with whatever you got. Yeah, here they are right here. Chicken of the sea. Wow.

Those little packs. Those are pretty good. I love sardines. Yeah. Prison doesn't sound so bad now, right? Netflix has a, I haven't seen it, but they have a documentary, I guess, called Unlocked, a Jell Experiment. I watched the trailer for it. But basically, they let the inmates out of their cells and kind of run things on their own with the option if they behave better.

this could become a regular thing. But it's just kind of, they're watching afar to see how they act with a lot more freedom. And just let them go? Yeah. Wow. They can escape, of course. Does it work?

I haven't seen it. I only saw the trailer for it so they don't tell you how it works out. But as soon as the doors open, the guys just go wild, they start throwing stuff. Dude, if you look at the prisons and... So I'm not going well.

Not at first. I watched a documentary a long time ago about the warden of a prison in Switzerland or Sweden. and he came and visited a state prison in Georgia. And he was like, what is going on here? This is so different. What I remember from that is he asks one of the prison guards, you ever get out there and play basketball at the inmates? The car was like, no.

Like he couldn't wrap his head around that. Why are you hooping with these guys? I got to imagine, though, that the Georgia penitentiary system is a bit different than like the, The criminals are a bit different than in Switzerland. Yeah. I mean, what are you even doing in Switzerland? That's a crime.

I think it's just a much, much smaller country, too. Yeah. The most secure prison. Yeah, the warden probably grew up with those guys. In Switzerland? Yeah. Just like a belica. Yeah.

They showed. Exactly. There was a guy who was a music producer who got sent to prison and they, like, built a studio in the prison for him. Yeah. And one guy was a chef and they go, oh, great, we'll get you your own. They got his own knives and stuff. It looks like a summer camp. Yeah.

The most secure prison in the United States is the ADX Florence in Colorado. It houses El Chapo, the Boston Marathon bomber, the 1993 World Trade Center bombing mastermind, the shoe bomber, the Oklahoma City bombing guy, Eric Rudolph. So it's like the who's who of criminals. Do you think they hang out in there? No, they keep them separated 23 hours a day. walkout. Look at that. That's pretty wild.

That's insane. Yeah. Do you think the most famous prison is Alcatraz? Has to be. Yeah. Have you seen escape from Alcatraz? How many other prisons can you name? Rikers Island, which isn't even a prison, I don't think.

I think it's still is. I think it's a jail. I've seen some of that as a kid. San Quentin. And then seen The Rock. Yeah. I forgot about the Rock. Yeah.

Yeah, the Rock's great. Sean Conner and Nicholas Cage. I forgot about that. Yeah. And Harris. Escape from Alcatraz is based on a true story. So there was two brothers and a friend of theirs who did escape. Now, their bodies were never found.

The prison and FBI, everybody says they probably drowned in the water, but their bodies were never found. So people like to suspect they did get away. They, so. But the show. Chateau Dief from Count of Monte Cristo. Is that on there? I didn't understand a word you said. I understood it from and the...

But they made... I don't know if this is in the movie or not, but in real life, they made paper mache heads, and they found real hair from, like, the barber. And they made... Oh, I remember seeing that. To make it look like they're in bed. He had like a, he put like a pick or something in the heel of his boot.

Yeah. And then they, uh, they used a, I guess a spoon to somehow dig their way through, uh, holes. And then they climbed up the pipelines and got up on the roof. And then they went down a drain pipe. And then they had makeshift life vests that they made out of jailhouse raincoats. And somehow they had a raft. And, uh, their bodies were never found. So some people think they actually did escape.

Why is it a prison escape? is still one of the most thrilling things. It's for a movie or a story or anything. There's another Stallone movie. I forget the name of it, but it's like his job is to, you know, get hired by prisons to break out. I remember this.

That one's a good one. That one's a good one. What about Face Off? Face Off. Love Face Off. Let's talk about our favorite movies. Do you know much about the prison in Harry Potter? I do not.

You know what it's called? No, I can't wait to hear it. Azkaban? You know much about Asgabam? Never heard of it. It's on and on a... Well, one of the movies is called the Prisoner of Ascaband. Oh.

And it's about Sirius Black. Okay. Who's Harry Potter's godfather. But was a convicted murderer, wrongly convicted. Sounds like a rapper. And he escaped because he was an animagus. He does. He was in animagus and transformed into a...

The Cat of Muddy, Crisco? ...to a dog and got out of there. But... It's patrolled by Dementors, they're called. Have you ever heard of a Dementor? Yeah, sort of. Right now. There are creatures that look like hooded people, and they fly around and they suck the happiness out of people.

Wow. I know some people I know. They've come to my shows. Yeah. They were at the Friday Late Show this weekend. They're blind, but they feed on human happiness. And that's how Sirius Black was able to escape. He transformed into a dog and they couldn't, you know,

couldn't detect the dog's soul. We got on out of there. I like that. But it's a good, it's a good. But as far as I know, in Harry Potter, there's no jail system. It's like you go straight to Ascompan. You can be arrested for. stealing like a candy bar. You get sent to Ascombeant, get your happiness sucked at it.

Yeah. I love that. I did a little research on the history of prisons. Okay. And they've been around almost since humans have to some degree. But I think the whole concept of life in a cell or whatever is a relatively new thing. Like I think in like biblical times they were more like what we would consider now jail where you're there for a period of time until they can figure out what to do with you. Because otherwise they'd just kill you. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, why would we keep this guy around? Yeah, that's true. They would just kill you. Yeah, we'll just kill them right now. Even a lot of old Westerns, like the prison in a town would just be one room. It's like the Andy Griffith's show.

It's like a little drunk tank. Yeah. But it'd be one room where everybody's kind of chained to the wall or whatever. It's real dark in there. But, yeah. But, yeah. It's like the jail. It's a little dark in there. But, but, Yeah, then those kind of drunk tanks, those seem scary. When you just get put in jail and there's a ton of people in there? When did, like, the modern prison system start? Do you have any of that information? The way we think of it now. You said you're just looking up to history.

1984. No, I don't know. I don't know. Okay. I'm sorry to know. Louisiana has the most incarceration. They have the biggest prison in the U.S. I missed that from our Louisiana episode.

I'm guessing it's also not the best. And it's not the biggest and the best. It's not. Yeah. What's it called? Alligator. No, the Louisiana State Penitentiary? Angola.

Angola. Angola. I've heard of this. Yeah. 5,000 inmates, 1,800 staff. I think it's square miles is bigger than Manhattan. Wow. Big, big, big, big, big.

Not good. All right. So let's talk about some. It's a big jail. It's a big jail. Let's talk about some prison movies. Okay. All right.

Shawshake, obviously, is the... All-timer. You like Shawshake, right? I do, yeah. Yeah, I love that movie. Do you ever read the novella by Stephen King? Read Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption? It's like 30 pages.

Really? Yeah, you could read it. All right, I'll check it out. In prison. Yeah. The same book, he wrote the novella that Stand By Me is based on, is on that. The Body and Shawshank. And then I think apt pupil, which was made into a movie.

I mean, he went like four for four. There's one other, I can't remember the other one. Hmm. But anyway, Stephen King's successful. All right, some movies. He has a good track record. Looks terrifying. He looks like a character from one of his books.

But all his best movies are based on non-horror, in my opinion. Shawshank, Stand By Me, Green Mile. Oh, yeah. It's a prison movie. I guess, yeah, it's supernatural, but it's not a horror movie. I only saw it once, and I didn't love it. It's long. It's long because it follows the text, like, to a T.

So it's a super long. I think that was shot here in Nashville. In Tennessee, it was, yeah. Yeah. I think Renard was in it. Is he really? I think he uses that as a credit. Wow.

Bernard Hirsch. Oh, Brother War Art Down? That's a good prison movie. Yeah. It's based on the Odyssey. Yeah. I forgot about that. have you seen the castle

no oh I have seen that is that Robert Redford also shot here at Nashville maybe I'm thinking about the wrong one I'm thinking about the one I'm thinking about the one with

James Gandalfini oh the Australian film you know the American no I haven't maybe I've got the name wrong yeah I don't think it's called the castle

I'm not seeing it who said who'd you say was in it James Gandalfini is the one I'm thinking about yeah okay the last castle the last castle 2001 oh yeah Robert Redford

yeah that was here. A castle can only have one king. It's a good cast. Robert Redford, Mark Ruffalo. I was working at the news station, and the lady who was in charge of getting extras for the movie reached out to the station to, and it was me to announce it on the news, we need extras or whatever. And I said, I may come over there and do that.

She's like, well, if you help me promote this, I got something better for you than just to extra. Whoa. I'm like, okay. So, you know, I made sure he got on the news. I never heard from her again. Wow. She never returned my calls. Wow.

That was my first Hollywood moment. Wow. Bright lights big city. But years later, you got to play a serial killer in prison. And you got to play on sprung. A prison guard. And I got to play a prison guard. So we have been in a prison together.

We have been in a present. Yeah, yeah. Conair. Dusty, you're not impressed that we were in a prison show together? I've seen it. You have? I have seen it. Yeah.

that episode, yeah, very good. Well, I was in two. Oh, you're in two? Two different episodes, yeah. Oh. Keep watching. But I was in the trailer for the show. Yeah.

Because I have one line and the line summarizes the plot of the show. So it was used quite frequently. Wow. Yeah. But I didn't have a funny follow-up. You say something like, yeah, it is confusing or something like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Thanks. I'd be watching Sports Center and there's air and popping up. Wow. And the Amazon Prime commercial? I think it was. Yeah. All right. You said Conair.

Conair. That's a good prison movie. People really hate on Conair. And the problem is Nichols Cage's accent. The rest of the movie's good. What's his accent? He just has a southern accent and it's like, it's a terrible southern accent. Put the bunny back, you know.

Here's my take. If you're an actor, we'd rather you not have an accent than have a bad accent. Yeah. Like I can rationalize. it in my mind, oh, this character's from the South, but he doesn't have a Southern accent. Yeah. There are plenty of people like that. But Conair. Don't put a fake one on if it's not good.

People hate on it. It's a good movie. Dave Chappelle's in it, Ving Rames, John Cusack, John Malkovich. It made $224 million at the box. It's a great movie. Steve Buscemi. Steve Buscemi, yeah. Yeah, it's fun. It came out about the same time as the Rock.

Bubba from Forest Gump's in it? Yeah. It came out 97, yeah. The longest yard. Yeah, two versions, the Burt Reynolds and then the Adam Sandler. I never saw the Burt Reynolds,

but I didn't like the Adam Sandler. I didn't either. My relative, Eddie Alberts, is in the original. Really? Mm-hmm. He was the warden.

He's also the guy from Green Acres. You remember Eddie Alberts? He's your relative? It seemed like you had 300-something episodes in here, Aaron? Yeah, Eddie Albert. Oh, yeah. I remember that guy, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Oh, he was the main guy on Green Acres. Mm-hmm. How are you related to him? He's my grandmother's great-grandmother's cousin. Great-grandmother's cousin, I think. Never met him or anything. I met George Lindsay once. I think he was on the other side of the family.

But I was always told growing up, Eddie Albert was my great-grandmother's cousin. Wow. That's pretty cool. How about that? He's dead, though. He died 90. at age 99 in 2005. Wow, long life.

Cool Hand Luke. Cool Hand Luke. Really great. Really great. I've never seen it. I know it's a classic. What we have here is a failure to communicate. It's good chain gang scenes.

And they use that song in the Guns and Roses song, Civil War. Yeah. It's so good. That's a great song. American History X. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Yeah.

It gets reformed in there. Yeah. Yeah. Ernest goes to jail. Never saw it. Little different totally than American History X. Ernest Goes to Camp is one of my favorites, but I never saw Ernest Goes to Jail. I did a double feature American History X and then Ernest goes to jail.

Yeah. Then Boy in the Stripe Pajamas right after that. Yeah. That's a prison movie technically. Yeah. Boy in the striped pajamas. Get Hard. Never saw it.

Will Farrell and Kind of. I never saw it either. I haven't seen either. I think I already mentioned face off. Oh, have you ever seen Stur Crazy? No, I never saw it. There's a comedy club called Sturc Crazy. Oh, is that?

Richard Pryor. And Arizona. And Gene Wilder. Yes. I've never seen it, but I do. As a kid, I thought it was so funny. I don't know if it would hold up now, but I just remember thinking. They did a lot of fun movies.

They did. You're no evil, see no evil? Yeah. They go to prison. They have to try to survive. It's very funny. And then they do a prison rodeo and they come up with an escape plane. I can tell you, this is one of my favorite movie posters ever, maybe,

because it just describes the entire plot of the movie for you. It says Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor dress up as woodpeckers and get framed for robbing a bank. And when they discover that prison life is for the birds, they go stir crazy. Yeah. I never seen a movie poster like that. You don't need any more info. What about life? You ever see Life?

That's like Eddie Murphy, Bernie Mac. Oh, uh, maybe Martin Lawrence? Martin Lawrence. I haven't seen it. It is. With that cast, you would think it would be very funny, but it's actually pretty sad. No, I haven't seen it. Not that one.

Life cereal, underrated. I don't know if it's called life. Do you ever have Life Serial? I don't like it. Really? Yeah. What don't you like about it? I don't know.

Too sweet? I love. Do you like Life Serial? Yeah. I found three comedians who've done specials in prison. Ali Sadeek. Yep. Jeff Ross.

Yep. Ron White. I'm just guessing. That's a good guess, but no. Who's the one? I saw one recently. Who was it? Monique. Oh, I didn't see that one.

First was called, I could have been your cellmate because... Was it a woman's prison? Uh-huh. Jeff Ross was a roast. It was from 2015. Yeah. And then Ali Sadeek was 2018. Okay.

At a prison that he used to go to. I was trying to think of... I used to go-to. Like it's a supermarket? That was my go-to prison. for a while. I didn't finish that thought completely. I was starting to think about jelly roll.

And I was starting to think about celebrities who were once in prison. I thought about jelly roll. All right. Some TV shows, Oz. Oz, I've never seen. I've heard it's really good, but a brutal watch. I used to watch a little bit of that back in the day. It was on HBO.

And I liked it. But yeah, it was before streaming and I didn't, and I've never gone back. Orange is New Black. Orange is the New Black. Do you watch that? No, never did. I think I watched the first season. Prison break, I watched a little bit of that.

I was about to mention that. Okay. I'm trying to get ahead of you. It's a great concept. I saw I went multiple seasons, so he just had a hard time getting out. He gets out. Do you know the premise? I guess he's trying to break out of prison.

But I read it. His brother goes falsely to prison, and he's the one who designed the prisons. Okay. So then he goes in to try to break him out. right something like that it's been a while face off was kind of similar right well face off they just yeah

it's in prison though yeah they do a face swap and then the idea it's based on a true story is that I guess one of the two is like you know they're just sending him in there for intel but then the other gets a hold to the face and then uses it to keep him in there

yeah yeah And then from the office, prison Mike. Almost every one of my favorite shows I was thinking there's some prison. I mean, that's a very vague one. Yeah, yeah. Seinfeld. Andy Griffith is a girl. Andy Griffith is a girl.

Andy Griffith is a jail show. It's in a police. Yeah. But I'm thinking about like prison. The Breaking Bad, there was a scene where all the guys that. He kills 13 people. at the same time. Oh, I saw one.

It's not, it's, it's similar to the title Breaking Bad, but it's, I don't, I can't remember the movie, but a guy goes to jail for like a DUI sort of manslaughter situation. And then he goes in and he's, you know, starting to get into these fights and they, you know, basically has to join a gang in order to survive. And then finally his time to get out comes up. and he gets out, but then the gang is, it's like, they're like, well, you're still in the gang. So they operate on the outside, too. So his family's in danger. So he ends up going back to prison and, you know, killing the main gang leader and then just living his life in prison as the new

gang leader. It's so intense. Yeah, what's it called? Ah, uh, it's something like, uh, let's see, Let's see the breaking. It was way too long for me to Google that. Bad prison movie. Let's see what we got here. It was terrible. It's great. Yeah.

I mean, the fugitive was, he didn't make it to prison, but headed that way. Silence of the Lambs. There's a good, little prison stuff there. Yeah. Some celebrities that serve time in prison, Martha Stewart. That's right. Tim Allen. Tim Allen, yes.

Wesley Snipe. Wesley Snipes, tax evasion. Yep. Robert Downey Jr. Yep. Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. Did he ever do prison time, or is he just jail? Yeah, jail. Forty five days. That's a long time of jail.

And Felicity Huffman. Spent 11 days in federal Princeton for that college admission scale. That's right. So did Aunt Becky, right? Did she go? Lori Lothan? I don't know. I know she got in trouble. She did get in trouble. Maybe the movie's called Shot Caller.

I want to be a baller. Shot call. 2017. This is with John Bernthal's in it. He was in the Odyssey. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah, this movie's so good. I gave it all away, but...

All right, it's time for Dusty Slay's Top Five Country Songs about prison. All right, guys, get ready. Listen, I'm going to tell you, this is one of the... In some ways, one of the easier lists I've put together, but in other ways, one of my hardest. And this is why I'll say it. We have that much time. I think I can guess what number one is. It's the most icon.

There are so many country songs about prisons. Dessie Slay's top 20 songs about that what was hard was narrowing it down. It wasn't hard to find them. All right. So I'm going to just run through the honorable mentions, and then I'll get to the top five, okay? It's not going to be 20. It's 10. Okay.

All right. Sing Me Back Home by Merle Haggard. Really great prison song. Eleven months and 29 days by Johnny Paycheck. You can find this on my Spotify at Dusty Slay's top five country songs about prison. All right. Number seven or number eight, in the jailhouse now by Leon Russell. A lot of people cover it.

Leon Russell version is my favorite. They sing that song in O Brother War Art thou. This is. sort of country. It's Leonard Skinner, but a very country version called Four Walls of Rayford. Yeah, that's a good song. Very fun. Old Red by Blake Shelton. Yeah, I love that. Here we go. And then my number one honorable mention, number six is high cost of living by Jamie Johnson. Really great song. Then here we go. Were all those ranked from 10 to 6? Yeah. So you just did a top 10. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Number five,

Wichita Jail by the Charlie Daniels band. Great. That's a great song. Number four, San Quentin by Johnny Cash. Yeah. One of the best. You know, Johnny Cash and Moorhager are in this one a lot. The next one, number three,

There Ain't No Good Chain Gang by Johnny Cash and Whalen Jennings. Really great song. I think I know the top two. Chain gang by Sam Cook? No. Number two, and this is the one that. I think that you think is number one. Number two, Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash. And then number one. Can I guess? Yes. Mama Mama Tried by Merrill Haggard.

There also is one more that I like, but there's a reason I didn't put it in here. It's another Johnny Paycheck song, and the song's called The Only Hell My Mama Ever Raised. And I like it. But he has one line that I have a hard time with. He says, she tried to turn me on to Jesus, but I turned on to the devil's ways. And I just have a hard time singing that song. He's just being honest. being honest, but I have a hard time singing the lyrics. Oh, okay. It's a great song, though.

Yeah. So there you go. Those, those songs are all really great. Sing me back home by Merle Haggard. I mean, yeah, it's a good one. Yeah. It's a good list, but a little bit of upset there, I think at the end. I think everybody's going to pick full support. Well, they are, and I love that song. But Mama Tried is, well, I wanted to mix it up a bit. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great list. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's time to wrap it up. There it goes. Okay. And since I'm running, in the podcast. I'll go ahead and wrap it up now, guys. Thank you for the Paw Paul L8. Thank you guys for tuning in. I'm Dusty Slade. This is Brian Bates, Aaron Weber. And we will tell you where we're going to be. Why we go ahead and tell you where we're, you know what, this weekend I'm off. The next weekend, I'm doing a, I'm actually doing a show in Opelika at my high school for the faculty. So it's not

open to the public. So don't try to come. But, uh, and then, uh, and then, uh, you know, you know, let loose is happening tonight. That's the new open mic that we're doing here at V. And then there'll be another one on August 5th. And then I'll be in Providence, Rhode Island at the Comedy Connection that weekend. That is the 6th through the 8th in Providence, Rhode Island at the Comedy Connection. July 31st and August 1st, I'm in Goshen, Indiana at the Funny Farm Comedy Club. And then August 2nd, I am at Helium Comedy Club in Indianapolis.

But this weekend, I just want you to watch my special Worried. Yes, go watch it. On the 8th-Nu-U-2P. So he doesn't worry us about it. 5-Eastern, 3-Mountain, 2 Pacific. So I don't have to worry about it. That's right. Yeah, so you don't worry us about it.

Which I will. Aaron Weber here. I'm going to be in Phoenix, Arizona, August 28th, 29th, 30th at the Desert Ridge Improv. Go to Aaron Webercomedy.com. Or my page on punchup. dot live slash Aaron Weber for all my tour days. Come see me out there. Okay, guys, this is the public figures podcast.

Thank you very much. We're having a good time.