The Nateland Podcast - #25 Travel

Episode Date: December 16, 2020

Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]

what's up everybody welcome to the nateland podcast i am nate aaron weber brian bates uh all right welcome everybody we have a big you you know, big week this week. Today, actually, just now. We just announced Vanderbilt has a new head coach. And Clark Lee of Notre Dame. If anybody cares. I care. I care. You should be excited.

I mean, I think that's... That might be best case scenario higher for you guys, I feel like. He's local from here. Right. And then, which is exciting uh played at vandy how old is he 38 oh so is this the first coach younger than you this is the first coach younger than me yeah yeah i'm right at the good coaching age i mean this is where coaches are the new wave they're 38 year olds wouldn't have been hired as coaches a little bit.

But now that's a new kind of thing. Sean McVay, the Ram. Well, I got really annoyed the last Notre Dame game. Tony Dungy wouldn't shut up about how, how much all the players love Clark Lee and everything. Oh yeah.

I was like, yeah. Could you stop talking about how awesome he is? Yeah. Cause he's going to go. Yeah. Right. He's going to go.

He's gone. I'm very excited about it uh it's who i wanted from the beginning there's a few other guys you get very exciting coaching searches are fun but uh we are we are celebrating west end celebrating at vandy clark lee yeah got a new chancellor big things are coming down the Vandy pipe. That's a very Vandy name. Clark Lee. Clark Lee. We mean business. Law firm of Clark Lee. So that's all we got for today.

And Sarah Fuller made two extra points. Yeah. Yeah. We scored for her this time. That's pretty, you know. It's an accomplishment. It's an accomplishment. It's an accomplishment. We got in the end zone.

She kicked some extra points. Not a big deal. She did great. Congrats to her. All right, let's start off with the comments. As usual, YouTube, Instagram, Apple Podcast Reviews, and NateLan and NateBurgetsy.com. What you said with emails, you do get emails.

Yeah, we do. We get a ton. We're getting a lot of comments, a lot. So, you know, Twitter, I left Twitter off at Twitter.

Also Twitter, Twitter as well. Uh, we, we, we try to get to what we can. We get a ton now, which that's to you guys,

you guys listening or that's unbelievable, man. How much you guys listen. Uh, so it's very fun. I mean, you guys, you know,

you gotta be good. You gotta get, you know, to stand out and, man, how much you guys listen. So it's very fun. I mean, you guys, you know, you got to be good. You got to get, you know, to stand out. And some of the emails, though, are pretty long. Yeah, that's the thing. With comments, people, they'll know to kind of keep it tight. But with emails, people go crazy. And I'm like, do you really think Nate's going to read five pages of this? Yeah, I think so.

Maybe that's the goal. Maybe that's what they want maybe we start doing that we just do one big you know like a story what if you could be so good of a long email that would be the impressive if someone does such a good long email yeah that we're like we have to read this and it's the only one we have time to read yeah but this guy knocked it out of the park our girl uh travis barkley every week i feel like i'm asking myself at the start how is this topic going to be funny then nate gets confused by bacon bits harrowing versus heroin experience and i can't stop laughing i'm so glad you guys are putting out something so

silly and fun i feel like it's the antidote to the rest of the internet thank you travis that's true that's what we are yep we're the medicine is that an antidote antidotes the vaccine no that's what makes you not die like you get poisoned right and there you go we have an antidote right right so yeah uh turler that's the guy's name t-u-r-r-l-e-r-r Yeah. Turler. That's the guy's name. T-U-R-L-E-R. Turler. Think that's his real name? I don't know. I don't.

You don't? I don't. How do you not think that that guy's... I know we have a history of colorful names on the podcast, but Turler. The Turler family? I bet its name is... The Ler family? The Ler? The Ler lur family i think his name is tyler and he's being funny turler oh tyler tyler that's what i think all right you're going tyler i go with his name

is actually turler and he has to live with it this podcast is officially too dumb for me. Goodbye, folks. Good run. I guess we'll never know. I guess we'll never know. He's never even going to hear his comment being read. Yeah. Turler. He's out.

Too dumb. What does he want it to be? I don't know, right? Yeah, go get the TED Talks podcast. Yeah, I mean, there's other like uh that would be like if you're watching the titans play and you go it's just too much football this is really why do you not watch the titans it's a lot of football why don't they throw in some other stuff and you're like you know what they should they should throw in you know i was talking to brian we we had a clip on your

facebook go kind of viral from like the second episode of the podcast about talking millions, billions, trillions of dollars has like 2 million views. And a lot of them have no idea what the podcast is. So they're most of the comments are just like, these guys are more, they think it's like a math podcast. Well,

I mean, Turler knows what the podcast is and he thinks we're more. Turler made it 23 episodes before he's like, he gave us a fair shot. Yeah. he goes, this is, this is, I always love the idea

of someone, it's like they're resigning. Like leaving a comment. Yeah. He goes, he didn't give us a two week notice. I'm out.

He just goes, like, it's so funny to think like, you think he's at home and he's talking to his wife, his roommate, and he just goes, I can't listen to this podcast anymore.

And they're like, oh, it's cool. So you go stop listening to it. I'll probably let them know. And then I'm going to stop listening to it. What do you, what do you,

what are you going to do for that? Uh, you could just unsubscribe. I'm probably going to somehow let these guys know that I don't think they're good. And then I'm going to back out. You know what I mean? But I think they should know that I don't think they're good. And then I'm going to back out. You know what I mean? But I think they should know that the lure is out.

The lure family. Parting shot. The lure family is out. What if it's not even a guy? That one video did go viral. It has 2 million views on Facebook. God. Yeah.

I know. Who knew? I am on, but I haven't looked at it in a while. The Brad Pitt clip has like a million views, too. Really? Talking about Brad Pitt riding his lawnmower. Yeah. The comments are funny, because if it goes viral like that, it gets to people that don't

know what the podcast is, and it's just so funny reading the comments. Yeah. Yeah. Dylan Paschal. Dylan? No, Dylan. God. I bet that's Dylan. D-Y-a-n i bet it's for sure yeah yeah it's always dylan isn't it i hope it's dylan and he goes finally someone did it right

i think he's saying no one has ever mispronounced my name in my life everybody goes dylan how would you spell another dylan d-I-L-L-A. Yeah. So, but D-Y-L-A. And it's pretty common. Oh, yeah, right. Dylan Paschal. My wife and I got married this past Saturday.

I was looking forward to listening to the episode while laying on the beach during my honeymoon. However, I tested positive for COVID the day before the wedding, so we had a small quick ceremony the day before our original date with whoever was already exposed to me. So instead of going to an island for a honeymoon we have been quarantined at home this episode has been one of the most exciting things to happen on our honeymoon

thanks guys congratulations dylan the paschal family we lose one we get another one back uh that's very funny yeah i mean that that does stink man tastes positive for coven and then you're like you gotta do any of these big plans and then you know but you know what maybe you guys will be immune going forward i love the fact that they were already planning on listening to us on their honeymoon bell And they didn't bail on us. Yeah. The location's the only thing that changed. Yeah. We appreciate it. Congrats to you guys. Look who's back. Sor Sigurb.

Soray. Soray Sigurb. The podcast just isn't as funny as it used to be. He has a great sense of humor. Soray is back baby He reached out to you Brian Yeah he reached out and said He's from Spain

Yeah He said It's not sore Sore? I think it's sore I said sore Just then you did I said it last week

I said I bet it's sore lady We did yeah You said it was sore Sigour But it was a lovely lady though Well we still don't know He said we Come on Brian He's transitioning Sigour, but it was a lovely lady, though. Well, we still don't know. He said we... He's transitioning.

Sigour, we nailed it. Sigourb's right. Sigourb, right. Yeah. What a funny... Oh, he loved it. That's a very funny comment. Yeah.

That is very funny. Yeah. I mean, Sora gets it, dude. Yeah. Sora, keep your calendar open in case one of these guys fall out. I'll be flying you up from Spain. Maybe I'll get some dead weight over here and you'll get some liveliness. Might hire tour lures too just to make a point.

There's Miriam Gregory. Aaron, I can't believe you made fun of my name after I stood up for you about the Disney logo. Also, my performance on TV was so local that even my own family could not see it. Sounds like you guys could. 4.5. Channel 4.5. Yeah.

Miriam Gregory. I watched clips of her. She commented on YouTube. She has a YouTube channel. She's a very good singer. Oh, yeah? Oh, that's great. Oh, that's good.

Ryan goes a little too deep. Yeah, I kind of wish I kept that to myself. As I was saying it, I was like, oh, boy, that might have been a mistake. Miriam was like, oh, wow, okay. She does not have to. Oh, boy. She said, if I could pick one person to watch my YouTube clip, it was definitely not him at that table.

I just got blogged by Miriam. We're going to get another one by her next week. I just moved in with Tura Lurr and he makes a lot of sense. They moved in together.

Oh my God. Matthew Harrison. My clutch performance was when I took a girl on a first date to a park while we were hanging out and hitting golf balls on one of the soccer fields.

I turned to the girl and said, you see that tree sticking up in that tree line out there, roughly 150 yards away. Well, hard nine iron, light eight iron. If I hit that tree with this golf ball, then you have to give me a kiss. I then stood over the ball and thought to myself, just don't duff this ball. I hit the ball, and to both my surprise and hers, I hit the tree and got my reward. That girl on that date is now my wife. Married her. Wow. Something like that.

Girl saw that. She goes, you only let something like that go. Guy's going to stick an 8-iron on a tree 150 yards out. Our first date, we're hitting golf balls in the soccer field. He's not even in the appropriate grass to be doing this. What if that's why she married? She goes, you don't see stuff like that all the time. Elliot Carey, a clutch performance not mentioned.

I was active duty United States Navy security forces at the National Naval Medical Center in 2011. That was like I was in a sprint and got tired at the end when I read that sentence. I came out the gate. I was an active duty in the United States Navy security. Then it was like, forces at the National Naval Medical Center. It was like, I mean, I stumbled across the finish line.

I was conducting my foot patrol through the hospital. This is the place where all of our wounded warriors come to a treatment following any injuries overseas. All the TV switched over to President Obama making the announcement that we had killed bin Laden. It went from quiet to everyone, soldiers, sailors, Marines, nurses, and doctors in the world, clapping, high-fiving, and chanting. Never felt camaraderie like that since. Love the podcast.

Listen every week. Respect. Respect you, Elliot. That's, yeah. That's got to be, I mean, that's a moment to be there. felt camaraderie like that since love the podcast listen every week respect respect you do elliot that's that's yeah that's gotta be that's gotta be i mean that's a moment to be there when that happened you remember where you were when you found out about that i was over there uh he was a baby seal i had my only tweet that went right viral uh that went kind of crazy. Twitter was kind of new. And probably bad, probably can't say it now, but right when he, Bin Laden, got killed,

I said, my cab driver is furious right now. Or something like that. And I tell you what, the time it happened, people loved it. People loved it. I'm not saying it would do great today. Different time. Different time. but in the moment dude i it was the first like thing that kind of went so crazy i was like calling soda i was like dude i go i as i get to that like 10 000 20 000 like all i mean it just kept getting yeah then uh donald glover retweeted it uh it was a whole i mean everybody retweeted it. It was a whole, I mean, everybody retweeted it. But now, now I would say Uber driver.

There's Jeff Rasmussen. Rasmussen. That feels like you're trying to catch something at the end of it. Jeff Rasmussen. It's Rasmussen. Isn't that a pole or something? Yep. something at the end of it jeff rasmussen and he's rasmussen isn't that a pole or something yep okay the rasmussen pole it's like gallop oh really so that's where i've heard that word he comes for money i don't know if he's from the rasmussen pole family so he's probably just the other rasmussen family they're not successful maybe

i think he's at this successful why do you think he ain't made it, dude? I think this dude is crushing it. All right, let's see what he has to say. Aaron's stupid. Oh, wow. Whitney Houston wasn't a clutch performance. It was pre-recorded. It's coming from a pretty decent source in the Rasmussen family. He took a poll.

Yeah, when I first heard that, I was upset by it. Oh, so she lip-synced it. But I think it actually makes it more of a clutch performance, that she has to lip-sync. Can you imagine if she messes up the lip-sync? People would be more mad about that than if she just performed badly. You know what I mean? Has that ever happened?

Because most of them are pre-recorded someone ever coughed and they're still singing they don't move their mouth like a ventriloquist right well that's tough to she's doing all kinds of runs and stuff where it's and and it would be more clutch if it was she sang outright but are we sure that she pre-recorded yeah yeah yeah it's pre-recorded we're looking at wikipedia page however despite it being considered one of the greatest live performances by houston she actually didn't perform it live but lip-sync to a pre-recorded. We're looking at our Wikipedia page. However, despite it being considered one of the greatest live performances by Houston, she actually didn't perform it live, but lip-synced to a pre-recorded version of the anthem. I mean, they're probably doing it because there's just too many variables.

Right. You're like, we don't want to get hung up, and the mic goes out. You probably can't even hear yourself. We pre-recorded yeah uh we're lip singing this entire episode i emily miller hey guys y'all asked about having an early experience with someone who later became really famous when i was in high school our assistant cross-country coach had the girls teams over to her apartment for a sleepover we lived in metro atlanta and she was in her early 20s while we were there a friend of hers We lived in Metro Atlanta and she was in her early 20s. While we

were there, a friend of hers who lived in the apartment complex came over and brought his guitar and played some songs for us. We found out later that he was John Mayer and he maybe had a thing for the coach and that's why he came over. In retrospect, it is definitely weird that a 20 something guy would come over to a high school girl's sleepover, but it happened. It took a few years and confirmations from a couple other classmates for my husband to believe it. I didn't make this whole thing up. Keep up the great work. My husband and I love it.

Emily Miller. That is. That's your mayor. That's wild. Figured it out. What's going on over there? High school girls? She's in her early 20s.

It's like, I had nothing. Just a bunch of high school cross-country girls i'll swing by you know that's good oh yeah i don't know i'm probably you know what i'll probably i don't know i'll just maybe i'll bring the guitar yeah you may bring the guitar i play guitar you may bring it he's so good uh should it come to you maybe you would have the same story to go i wasn't on my high school cross-country team believe it or not but i would love for a private concert from john from john mayer the most talented musician of my generation of my lifetime they're already derrick trucks derrick trucks is the best blues guitarist for sure. You ever see B.B. King, Derek Trucks, and John Mayer all playing together?

Yeah. There's a whole backstory behind that. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I don't think John Mayer was supposed to come out. Oh, really? Supposedly. What did you say about John Mayer? He's the best musician in your lifetime?

I think so. Wow. Derek Trucks is a child prodigy. Derek Trucks is unreal. I love him. 13 and Dahlman Brothers. Yeah. Yeah, pretty crazy. He's my good buddy, Derek Trucks is a child prodigy. Derek Trucks is unreal. I love him. 13 and Dahlman Brothers. Yeah. Yeah, pretty crazy.

He's my good buddy, Derek Trucks. So maybe I have a pretty good source. John Mayer's my good buddy. Yeah, I've met John Mayer. He did comedy, too. He did stand-up comedy. Why not? Do everything.

Cap Black 85. Cap Black 85. Guys, love the podcast. Today's mention of Nextel made me remember a story about my late brother. We all had Nextel phones when we were younger, and me and my mom worked at our church. My brother would wait until she was at the church, and then in a deep and raspy voice, come over her walkie-talkie saying, hello,ah this is satan and they would do a menacing laugh he did this often and it was always funny to see her scramble to turn the phone off anyway thanks for the reminder that's pretty funny just to be doing it at church at church wow and his mom and she's probably just you know well my boys are just so sweet.

Is he from the South? I don't know if he's from the South. I make him from the South. My boys are so sweet. They're just good boys. Hello, Deborah. This is Satan. He's like, I'm going to kill him.

Johnny Wiener or Wiener. Depends on, I'm sure he was called both. A year after the joplin tornado tornado sorry joplin tornado they held the ncaa d2 cross country national championship you listening here my buddy had a terrible race and got third to last which is not ideal at the awards banquet later that night they were about to show a video presentation. My buddy assumed it was a highlight video of the race from that morning, so in frustration,

he proceeded to loudly declare in a very annoying way, We know! We were there! Immediately following his remarks, tragic music and leveled homes appeared on the screen, to which was the beginning of a tribute video for the first responders

of the huge tornado disaster from the year prior. The awkwardness of that will never be forgotten by many. So funny. Oh, I love that one, man. That's, you want to get up my alley? That's how you get up my alley right there that that is i mean i there's nothing i love more than that we know we were there and then just just lights go down yeah first responders that's great oh that's so funny kyle cox clutch performance at a exodus party i asked every

neighbor how many donuts they could eat if they had to i proceeded to be very judgmental about all their answers needless to say i never got invited back to any neighborhood functions for the record i put down 15 donuts and stopped just because i was doing it by myself and no competition and no one really even questioning me on how many i could eat i know what kyle calls there's a musician oh that's him uh but there that's that's super funny that's uh yeah i mean just to be in a corner eating by yourself stop 15 and stop just because i was doing it by myself with no competition and no one really even questioning me on how many that's what i i love that line no one really even questioning me on how many i could eat that's my favorite

line that's that's what that's a great line because that is the the to think of that that's what everybody you're like you're eating this you're like no one even is asking like no one's going hey how's it going over there yeah and you're just like yeah no one cares dude but he still got to 15 to be 15 donuts in reaching for your 16th and then thinking you know what nobody even knows i'm doing this that would almost be a good we should like people should go and just be like, go to a party, bring a ridiculous amount of donuts, and then see how many you can eat before someone says, hey, how many donuts have you had?

Just quietly try to eat as many as you can. For Christmas. You feeling all right? Yeah, for Christmas, if you have your family over, I guess if you're Zooming,

if you're willing to do this, you probably already had COVID. So I wouldn't even worry about it. But, I mean, it would be pretty funny just to be quietly, just to get in your car, and your wife doesn't even know, your husband, and you just tell your spouse, you're like, I ate 25 donuts during that party. And they're like, what?

When? And you're like, I've been doing it the whole time. I mean, just to throw that on them, just to like. Well, it was like one of their first dates, and she's so proud that he went out on his own, wasn't clinging on to her at the party, and then he tells her that in the car. That's what he was doing.

And maybe married her. Yeah, you kind of abandoned me at the party. It's like, well that in the car. That's what he was doing. And maybe marry her. Yeah, you kind of abandoned me at the party. It's like, well, I had stuff to do. Yeah, I don't know. Did I? Because I ate 12. You know what? I'm going to need you tonight because.

All right. We had, you know, last week's episode did really good. The weather episode, people thought very funny. Said it was our funniest one. Yeah. You know? Except Tur's episode did really good. The weather episode, people thought very funny. Said it was our funniest one. Yeah. You know? Except Turler. Except Turler.

We thought it was too... For Turler, it was the final straw. He goes, oh, God, what are you talking about this week? Weather. You know, you do want to go, what do you want to talk about? Yeah. That's what I don't understand. There's so much stuff out there.

There's so much. You know what I've been watching? Ted Lasso. There's so much stuff out there. There's so much. You know what I've been watching? Ted Lasso. Ted Lasso is unbelievable, dude. I watched it last night. I can't wait to watch it again tonight. It's just positive. It's so wonderful.

It makes you so excited just to see some positivity. It's about whatever man who cares i mean he's a coach i actually know jason sudeikis uh and he's that guy he's he's kind of a ted lasso he's a very positive guy awesome dude and it's it like that's what i mean like that's where you're like it'd be like watching ted lasso being like i don't it's just you know who cares you know you're like yeah're like, yeah, dude, then go watch House of Cards. Go watch 50 other shows that are depressing. I mean, like, it's just a breath of fresh air to have something that's not that.

Not that I'm harping on Turler. But I'm going to tell you, you know. But it's, I'm glad. You glad you know we don't need you turd better without you but i but ted last so if anybody hasn't seen it apple tv it's uh it's i mean it's an awesome awesome show i mean i've watched three episodes and i'm gonna watch it tonight i can't wait to just kind of try to do two a. I just enjoy it so much. Such a great episode. But last week, I thought it was great with the weather episode.

It was very funny. We're getting in the groove, man. I think so. What is this, 23, 24 episodes or something like that? 24. 24? That's a lot. That's a lot. I never thought we'd make it this far.

I had the under, and the under was five. And look at us. Look at us now. We've made it. This week, we're going to, you know, because we've got the holidays coming up, Christmas coming up, New Year's. Travel's interesting. And we're going to talk about travel.

We're going to talk about, you know, what are you going to do? Are you guys traveling for Christmas? I'm not, just because my family's all here. Yeah. We're going to Lebanon. Well, yeah, we'll be traveling. Traveling down there. To Lebanon. Yeah. gonna do are you guys traveling for christmas i'm not just because my family's all here yeah you're going to lebanon well yeah we'll be traveling down there to lebanon yeah you go where you go alabama are you allowed to say now that you're not i mean yeah i'm gonna i'm going to visit family i haven't seen my family it's a serious thing aaron and i wish you'd take it serious come on aaron golly aaron can i believe you're doing You're unbelievable. I was joking when I said I was going to Lebanon.

I'm staying in. No way he's going. Everybody's staying here, dude. Yeah, I'm staying at home. Yeah. Just... We wear that coat to fend off the virus. It's a puffy coat.

It's puffy. It is a puffy coat. Big coat. Is that what he says? I was in Springfield, Missouri this weekend. Went to the original Bass Pro Shops. Oh, really? The first one?

The first one. It's huge. You can spend the whole day there. There's museums in there and all kinds of stuff. Is it as big as the Memphis one? The Memphis is the one in the pyramid. It's in the pyramid. Yeah, I think it's bigger than that. It was the first

one and it's this whole sort of complex that you enter. Like Opry Mills is big? It's as big as Opry Mills. It is overwhelmingly large. That's crazy. There's an aquarium too that you have to buy a special ticket to. I didn't get that. So there's all kinds of stuff.

Why didn't you get the aquarium ticket? Nah, it's like extra money you know had to spend it on this jacket yeah you know uh if you would have chose the other jacket you could either go this jacket and aquarium or just this was the cheapest jacket so i think it's irresponsible you're doing shows come on yeah what have you not have you has covet affected your life at all as far as you going out it has because it doesn't sound like it aaron it sounds like you are i don't even know have you heard that people should wear masks yeah i wear a mask everybody at bass pro shops wearing a mask

yeah they do nascar nascar is everybody's wearing masks right i i feel like when you see the mask you you see one guy there might be one guy walks around no mask yeah and you're like all right but there's there's always one guy everybody else when we went to target this weekend uh everybody had masks on we're i think we're doing something i don't know where i'm doing we're doing something uh someone's either coming here or whatever nothing travel we won't travel far everybody's close by. You'd drive down to Alabama? Is your family still there?

We're going to go. My sister's in Dallas. We're going to head down there. You drive? I don't think we're going to fly. Flying is safe. Right. More stuff.

What are you going to do? Take a boat? Taking a cruise ship? What are you guys doing? That'd be the thing for holidays. I'm going to Carnival Cruise. It's like where it started. uh taking a cruise what are you guys doing that'd be the holidays i got a carnival cruise it's like where it started i was on a cruise ship but yeah that's great man just i would let everything you say is just uh we're gonna go visit my grandmother nursing home

and my my dad doesn't believe in masks and you're like that's cool man that's cool how's she doing she's on uh she doesn't breathe good and stuff like that. She's the, she's in the market for COVID actually. She want me to come eat with her, but I can't taste anything right now.

So. I said, sure, I'll go eat at your dumb cafeteria. I can't taste anyway. What does it matter? I can't smell,

taste. Are you there? No fever though. Yeah. I feel like the taste and smell you there? No fever though. Yeah. I feel like the taste and smell thing is the thing. I know, I've known now a couple of people that have had it and taste and smells the, that's your,

that's your ticket, right? The best indicator. Your telltale sign. Yeah. I feel like you either don't feel anything or you lose your taste and smell, which is, it's at least nice that there's something.

Cause you got, we're so scared that it's just you sneeze and you're like it's it it's happening all right trying to give turdler some topical stuff he's like all right i'm listening this guy's talking about what's going on currently in the world right uh so traveling is a big deal it's a big deal during the holidays uh what is it the most when's the do you know like the most most traveled thanksgiving thanksgiving why is thanksgiving i guess santa yes it calls travels so santa's got to come to your home so that's you know yeah people have with kids they want to stay home yeah do that, but Thanksgiving is more of a go see the – It's also a secular holiday, so everybody, all Americans celebrate it, I feel like. Yeah.

It's a big word, man. But I thought you were going to argue that's why Thanksgiving is more travel. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's why Thanksgiving is more travel. Would you say that word just at your dinner table with your family? Secular? Yeah. I mean, it depends on the conversation we're having.

Would that be the conversation that comes up? Maybe, man Yeah. I mean, it depends on the conversation. Would that be the conversation that comes up? Maybe, man. And you go, it's my favorite secular holiday. And your family would just... You come from a smart family, though, right? So you guys probably use... I guess I remember using that because my parents would make us go to mass on Thanksgiving sometimes.

And I remember being like, come on, this is a secular holiday, dude. This isn't even... You would say that in an argument to your parents. Come on, this is a secular holiday, dude. You would say that in an argument to your parents. Oh, yeah, come on, this is a secular holiday. What are we doing here? Yeah. Church and state, come on.

I mean, wow, dude. Wow. Did you have a lab coat on? What? Did... I mean, that's... Did you use it in... I mean, I don't, you know...

Yeah. We just... My family, I don't, you know. Yeah. We just, my family, we just clap at each other. We make noises. We're like monkeys. Yeah. We're just, you know. They throw things, call each other idiots. Yeah.

We're the idiot family. And we just, you know, just stomp on the ground when you want something. You know, it's like how horses talk to each other. That's a we. That's what goes on in our family. You just walk in, you just hear noises. You listen to the whale sounds. You're like, no, my mom's cooking some.

We're not using secular, I can tell you that right now. If I threw that around my family, we'd all be like i tell you that right now if i threw that around my family we'd all be like all right whoa someone someone's taking some online classes somewhere aren't we oh wow must be nice it must be nice we had a lot of arguments at the dinner table man it was uh we could argue over what i don't know um stuff like that i mean not even like at each other my dad would just love to debate debate us about stuff yeah it's like a smart family i mean y'all i think that's what yeah it's like it's probably good it's good for y'all to debate yeah you got to notre dame yeah i mean you've failed them now but up to notre dame i mean he's like it worked you know what i mean like everything going up has worked he did his

part for sure yeah and then you come home with that brass pro shop coat and he's like god what's the point of any of this you've been using the word secular since you were five years old you walk in my house with a big red coat on. You didn't just go see the aquarium and learn something. You almost spent all my money on my coat. That's what I think is going to be the new, the Weber family. This,

this, this Christmas. So the whole family's going to Dallas. no just me oh just me and my fiance by yourself yeah but you do have family in dallas my sister okay yeah she said at the beginning all right all right we're back uh so who's but who's going to your parents' school in Dallas? Uh, I mean, we're not even, look, I'm about to be with Turler and get out. I'm like, you know what, dude? He, he's right on. He's made some points.

He's made some good points. What's your first travel? Well, uh, if you stay at a hotel, the, um um most expensive hotel in the world anybody want to guess how much it is a night oh i mean it's going to be something like where it's shanghai that's my guess of where it is it's uh is it mandarin mandarin no uh so it's going to be something like it's something ridiculous yeah like uh a hundred thousand dollars a night what's well can we guess where it is yeah you'll never get it what continent is it um i'm already out it's taking it's taking me a while man yeah that's uh oh he doesn't know i don't know wow this is news

channel five over here i think this is what we watched for. Is it in Bangkok? No. You would be better to ask what ocean is it in? Oh, okay. It's a submarine. It's a submarine. At $150,000 a night, it's the costliest hotel in the world. Located in the ocean at considerable depth, you get underwater view of the entire marine world.

Staffed by an onboard crew of three, the captain, the chef, and the personal butler. You have soundproof living accommodations underwater. You can tell the captain to take the boat wherever, or the submarine wherever you want to go. It's a sunken, I said submarine, it's a sunken battleship. What? Wait, so it's not a submarine I guess it is a submarine But it's a sunken battleship

We don't know anything about it I don't think this is real It's off the coast of St. Lucia Or you can see a sunken battleship Is this like an ad you click? Is this how you got this I don't know if it's real at all. I don't think

this is real. Now it's called Lover's Deep Luxury Submarine. It is a submarine. Alright. And then it can go anywhere. Yeah. And you just float around. You just go in the ocean. You live in a submarine. Yep. I have claustrophobia. It wouldn't do good.

I'd ask to go to the top. It's so funny. You're like, wait, it's not a submarine? Yeah. Oh, no, it is. Oh, boy. It's a second battleship, and it's flooded with water. All right, my mistake.

Yeah, that sounds terrible, man. A submarine? I think if it's up your alley, you feel you're down there alone. Yeah. You're not alone, though. You're with a crew of three people. Yeah, but I'm sure they're far enough away. Yeah.

And then you go, hey, can we go? I don't know. Where are you going to go? Can we go like 200 yards? I mean, how do you even ask to go? He goes, where do you guys want to go? You're like, I don't know. Just go down a little bit more. And I mean are you gonna see now where are we at we're

at 100 feet let's do 150 feet you know what i mean let's see what's what's going on down there and he goes all right let's do 150 feet and then you do that and then he's like all right and you go okay is there a window he, no, it's a submarine. He's like, I don't even think you're actually doing anything. He just goes, all right. There's no windows. He goes, go 1,000 feet down. He goes, I'll do whatever you want. There's no windows.

How do you know? And you just sit there, and it's like one of those mall. Simulators. Simulators that you ride. And you go, we went down to 2,000 feet. Did your ears pop? They didn't, actually. I think that has something to do with a submarine. You you go, we went down to 2,000 feet. Did your ears pop? They didn't, actually. I think that has something to do with a submarine.

You're like, oh, I bet it does. It's sealed. Bet it's $150,000 a night. Never left the back of the truck. It's not even in the water. It's just, boom, we're just bumping over stuff. What was that? I think we hit a whale.

You're just making noises outside. Just people walk by and bang on it what is oh my loser was that a word he goes i think some of mermaids are real yeah i think they're i think they're i'm hearing them dude it's 150,000 a night and mermaids are real. And they're mean. They're heckling me. That's great. I thought it would be on top of the Disney castle. There's something up there. The most expensive hotel in the US

is in Las Vegas. It's the Empathy Suite at the Palm Casino Resort. $100,000 a night. You get two master bedrooms, massage table, jacuzzi, overlooks the strip, salt relaxation room, all this other stuff. 24-hour butler, chauffeur car. $10,000 in credit to use at the casino.

Hey, that can pay for your week. Yeah. Yeah. That can pay for your whole week. I just went to Vegas. If you're a big spender, you could stay there for free. So everything they do in Vegas, I don't know if we talked about this. I've figured out what they do in Vegas is, you know, like if you go golf,

I stay at the Wynn Hotel where I did show at the Wynn. So if you go golf, there's like 500 bucks to golf. But all these numbers are just up there. So when they give it to these high rollers they're able to go i gave you 500 they gave you a hundred thousand dollar a night hotel room and you go man it was a hundred thousand dollars it's like a fictional number but they need the number to be high so the person that feels like they're getting something i mean the the wind golf course is awesome.

I played Shadow Creek this last time I went with my buddy Rich Day. He listens to the podcast. And we go and do it, and then they – Shadow Creek is, like, unreal how nice it is. That's where they did the match, the and phil match the first one and so everything is like top notch but it's like yeah they got to make these numbers be otherwise if you're a high roller and you're like it's a thousand dollars a night or something you're like and i'm gambling a thousand dollars a hand yeah and i learned too the odds of uh blackjack you know the odds are low on blackjack it's because the people in the middle that's why the odds are

low for you like they would say blackjack it's like casino is always in favor but if you're if you if you when you gamble blackjack if you raise your money correctly so like black blackjack comes in runs so you're either be like losing you got to just sit there and then when you get on a good run you got a double triple like keep raising your bet that's how you win money and what happens is people in the middle are like people that just go to a five dollar table if they bet five they always bet five dollars they don't ever go to 10 or 50 like you should be going 10 20 50 like do you mean people betting in the middle i'm just talking about like why is it in the middle the whole casino oh like the if you

go to the high roller tapers they're like always on the oh okay like that but like the yeah where everybody else is yeah where it's like a five dollar table or 25 table something like that yeah and those you got you got to raise your bet and then that's that's how you win that's how you win money so when you're on a run in blackjack you you raise it yeah there you go there you go a little fun fact everybody go to vegas spin all of it vegas is depressing right now i bet it was we were there and everybody's got mask on uh and it's just seeing the signs for like bruce springsteen coming and you're like he's not there it feels like it would be like a movie or an apocalypse where they're just seeing it's just very weird man i mean all the places are closed and uh

but you know all the casinos are closed right no no the casinos are open and then but it's half it's like all half but i mean you you have they have glass in between where everybody sits you got to wear your mask the whole time even if you're gambling even if you got a drink you get take your drink then put your mask back up uh it's just kind of so the high roller poker guys they're wearing the mask and sunglasses yeah you can't even see their you can't even see their face at all they're yeah i walked by uh there's there was a lot of people playing poker but they all had all had glass in front of them. You sit down, there's glass behind you and in front of you.

So you're just in your own little bubble. And then that guy had his hood up, sunglasses, hat, and a mask. It's like a stormtrooper. Wow. And he's just, you know, can't get a read off this guy. Like there's no tell when you're hiding everything. How much does a view matter to you guys in a hotel room? I'm looking at this $100,000.

It's got a pretty nice view. I wonder how quickly I'd just be, all right, I get it. You know, I mean, that looks pretty cool, I guess. I don't think so. I think if you got a view like that, you're going to wake up and look at it every day. And before you go to night, you're going to look at and look at it every day. And before you go tonight, you're going to look at it and you're pretty like, man,

that's great. Like you, you're just like, I can't believe this is like, look at, you're just in, you're laying in bed. There's something about laying in bed and being able to see all that stuff,

everything that's going on and you're in bed. Yeah. That I don't think you're ever tired of that view. I think you want the windows open a lot because you just want to see it you see i'm just thinking of the hotels i stay at i don't even know if i open the curtains yeah the whole time yeah you know i mean because you got a water heater outside your window there's yeah yeah yeah and you're not going to be tired of this view you're going to look at this view and be like this is um you're gonna you know for all those times you we've had to stay in those hotels where you just see the roof you know like you're going to look at this view and be like, this is, you're going to, you know, for all those times we've had to stay in those hotels where you just see the roof,

you know, like you're going to want to see these. That's like Salt Lake City. When you go there, you stay in one of their hotels, you can either pick a mountain view or the other side. But the mountain views are like, yeah,

man, you see the mountains every day, you know, and you go look at them every day and you're like, because you don't see that at your home here. So it's like, you want to see it there. So it's nice. But yeah, maybe not, because you don't see that at your home here. So it's like you want to see it there. So it's nice.

But yeah, maybe not. But, you know, too much this weekend. I woke up, opened up my blinds and I just looked at Springfield, Missouri for a little bit. I was like, all right. And I just closed it right away. I think I got it all. Do you leave the blinds closed the whole time in a hotel? Oh, yeah.

Mine are open. I like sunlight. Maybe I'll do the blackout curtains and pull those aside so you can see through it a little bit. A little bit of sunlight in there. Yeah. Just to dad. Less depressing. Yeah.

And then you go from that room to a Bass Pro shop with no windows. Dude, you don't need windows in there. Yeah. Everything you want to see is inside. Did you see the sun? How much do you think you saw the sun that day? The whole weekend? I got about an hour's worth probably.

Yeah. The whole weekend, honestly. The sun's going down at like 3 o'clock right now. I know. I mean. It's ridiculous. So we talked to the sun. He was like, did you see Aaron?

He's like, no, I don't know. Was was he out that's what the son would say oh did he go was he was he in springfield i didn't even why didn't you say something and you're like these are all weekend dude i would have dimmed it for you yeah i had no idea he's yeah i'd love to see him he's a good guy he wears my colors so you know i saw a picture of the sign up front of the place for your show that had weber like chris weber that's right not weber like the grill i was on a big marquee of a rock club very excited w-e-b-b-e-r yeah basketball player not the grill yeah you know welcome you know that's like show business that's uh bill ingvall when he i opened for the last special he taped i opened for him and he was telling me god it was a theater we went to the theater do you it was in uh maybe

it's in peoria illinois or something like that it's something like that yeah that sounds right yeah and uh we go to the theater and he told me when he he goes when i first started doing blue collar he got on uh the uh he he he was on the uh his name was or he was doing a theater for the first time right so he's blue collar doing a theater first time gets there his name is misspelled he's like all right whatever you know and it's like you got a little you're selling out this theater you're like you can spell my name right dude like it's one thing at comedy clubs or whatever but then whatever so and then when i opened for him for a special which was like 20 years later he gets there his name was misspelled they were spelled at both times wow which he tells

a very funny story if this is true i don't know if I've told this story. About them flying private the first time? I don't think so. The first, it's not, the first time they're flying private, so what I, if this, what I was told this story, and I believe, I could be wrong on all of it, but we're just, Billing involved Jeff Foxworthy, they're flying in a private jet. It's like the first time kind of really making it and so if you get in these some of these private

jets they don't have bathrooms so the bathrooms you have to pee basically you don't pee because it's like 40 minute flight usually it's kind of quick uh but if you have to pee or something it's usually under a seat and so that's where the toilet would be so but you don't use it so they get they get up in the air they're going you, you know, on a private jet, dude, this is like you made it. And then the pilot comes back and he goes, you know, look, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you, but it's, I mean, it's happening. Like something, he ate something. And so he had to lift the seat up and then just go to to the bathroom not peeing number two number two

just had to sit and there's no there's no curtain it's just like you're it's like two feet away from just two feet away from each other and he's just sitting there unloading the pilot the pilot two pilots and so the other pilots are there and the whole time he's just going i'm so sorry mr fox i'm so sorry and just had to sit there and you're like that's all right man you go from this amazing time to be like we made it dude we're in a private jet just to the pilot that quickly that quickly dude and you know and you know the moment where you're like everybody's at the moment where you're like yeah dude it's it's over like you know there's nothing i can do yeah there's no turning back there's he doesn't have it's the last thing the pilot wants to do is do that right and for him to have to do it you go it's bad and just to sit there and be like i don't even and they've got nowhere to go right

you can't they got nowhere to go around you gotta be like hey dude it's the it's the equivalent of uh uh your you know a room. Thinner than a room. I mean, it'd be like just going into a bathroom with someone. It's awful. Yeah. It's pretty great. It's a good metaphor for your career, right? It's just one minute.

Grass is not greener. Right, yeah. Like that kind of thing where it's, yeah. You could think something's going great. Somebody's always going to have to use the bathroom. Grass is not greener. Right. Like that kind of thing. Like where it's, yeah. You could think something's going great. Somebody's always going to have to use the bathroom. Once you, the first thing that I've realized that I've tried. I don't think the grass is not greener.

I don't think that's correct. It's not the same thing. That's when you're like, oh, I wish I had that airplane. But that's, I know, but you do wish you had that stuff. And then you realize it's all happening everywhere. Like the bad stuff is happening. You do go i wish i was flying private but then in that private plane that happens so isn't that grass is greener

i think so i think it applies it's something on the flip side of all this they uh but like i've i've tried to get i've tried to get better with you know because we get very kind of competitive in this kind of field. And you do think you're getting slighted a lot. And so you're thinking like, I didn't have, you know, I don't know. It could be like your hair being done for a special. You're like, they don't even give me someone to get my hair done. I look like an idiot for my special.

Why don't they care or something? And then you talk to someone else and you're like, oh, they didn't do that for him. You're like, they don't do it for any of us. Yeah. They don't they care or something? And then you talk to someone else and you're like, oh, they didn't do that for him. You're like, they don't do it for any of us. Yeah. No one wants to spend this money or no one wants to. I'm not talking about the hair thing. I'm just making it.

But whatever it is, everybody is getting slighted. And it's just a matter of level that you're getting slighted at. Maybe it's just another guy that's nobody. Or maybe it's a network on TV. No matter what, no one likes us. No one's in favor of us. And they're trying to screw you. I bet that applies for everybody in every business.

And you got to just wrap your head around. You're, you're not the only one that's getting treated this way. Yeah. And once you could do that, that was, that's a big help because otherwise you just think everybody else is getting treated amazing and you're not,

you know? Yeah. Yeah. The most luxurious hotel in the world is, you want to guess where this is? Singapore. I like it. It's in Asia.

The Burj Al Arab in, I probably didn't say that right, in Dubai. Seven, seven star hotel. It's built on a manmade Island that has private beaches on three sides. Do whatever you want when you're on your own Island. We have seven stars.

You're like, all right, well, so not six. He goes a little bit better than six. You go, five is great. Five's the best.

Hotel staff outnumbers guests. Six would be amazing. And he goes, yeah, well, six would be amazing. Too bad we got yeah, well, six would be amazing. Too bad we got seven. Like that's just never started.

I know, but I'm not believing your seven is the problem. I would have believed six. And he goes, you believe whatever you want. It's a seven. We're seven stars, dude.

I never heard. I thought it went up to five. That's what I was about to say. I didn't know it went beyond five. It goes to, yeah, well, apparently it goes to seven. That's what I was about to say. I didn't know it went beyond five. It goes to, yeah. Well, apparently it goes to seven. Apparently. I think you're just being ridiculous, though.

But if you're on your own island, then it's got to be unbelievable. Hotel staff outnumbers guests with a six to one ratio. Guests have the option of being picked up in a Rolls Royce at the airport. Who's not taking that on? I know. I'm good. I got to go to Avis. My brother's picking me up.

Don't worry about it, dude. I got to go run a budget. I got a camera. I can call it an Uber. I got to grab this camera. I'm going to go. They're blowing my Ford Fusion up right now. I didn't know that you'd send a Rolls Royce.

But it's part electric. Do we need to charge it? No, it does gas, most gas. That's like some of those. Like Prius, you thought Prius was like this. I thought it was like this electric car. You know, when it first comes out, you're like, no, no, it's just a gas car. It does some other stuff.'s like full-on gas oh it's not electric at all i don't know prius the first prius is just gas they're just good gas mileage maybe the motor or something i

thought it was a hybrid i thought that's what maybe it's a hybrid but yeah but a hybrid is no but you're not charging it i think it charges as you drive yeah yeah it's not but they get you put gas in it which you know i think it's just better it's not like tesla teslas are full on full you plug them into the wall charge them right yeah all right uh some a couple of luxuries this thing has guests can choose from 17 types of pillows the mattress I mean I would if you gave me 17 pillows I would bet money I would just go

I just don't I would want one I'd be like I just don't you know I don't want to be that guy but it doesn't I don't think we got a match here I mean how big do you do a big pillow or a little pillow for to sleep yeah i like a little one i guess yeah and not not like a big body pillow

but i like a body pillow but i use it as a body pillow but they're but i i'd like a thicker like a lot of hotels have too thick of pillows. It's a big problem. You lay on it, and the pillows are just gigantic, and you're sleeping with your neck cranked. You're like, I don't sleep like this regularly, but it's pretty tough. Where we stayed in Vegas, the pillows were too big. I bet you could ask for one.

17, that would be... That's a lot. I'd want to lay them out. The fact that you get 17, I'd be like, well, I'd want to lay them out the fact that you get 17 i'd be like well i'd like to see all 17 you know i mean you want to go i want to let's do it if we're going to do it let's do it the mattresses can cost up to 15 000 and the bedding is stuffed with duck feathers i mean speaking of duck feathers and tell me that i was going to tell a story but my buddy uh travis he had a friend uh and she her their her parents her dad or something bought two ducks

bought two baby ducks right to keep when they were kids hey i got your baby ducks turns out they were geese and ripped the house apart is that not unbelievable they kept growing and they go all right that's probably about it right and then they go now it's a little bit we're like all right this thing's getting do they stop growing like there's a point where you go no that's got to be as big as they're going to get and then how much is there two three more weeks where you go this thing is just getting enormous enormous and geese are so mean and they would just get home and the house would be ripped apart because these imagine sweetie i bought you two baby ducks and then you're locking you're just

you got to run and slam and lock the door and then it's like and they're just beating on the door you're screaming i mean that's what it goes to it goes to this moment of like a picture of holding the baby ducks and i love you so much to just fearful people walking by going, what's going on? Yeah. How did they find out that they were geese? When they get to the point of that, I mean, a geese looks very different than a duck.

Oh, so they just eventually realized that, Oh, maybe they're babies. They all look the same, but then you're like, man, the next getting,

I don't know if they had somebody come in like an expert or they bring them to the vet. Why are ducks acting so different than what seems how ducks act? I don't know if they had somebody come in, like an expert. They bring them to the vet. Can you take care of our ducks? Why are ducks acting so different than what seems how ducks act? When I walk by a pond and I see a duck, I just don't see them being problems. Right. But our ducks are starting to steal stuff. The duck whisperer, yeah.

I think it just gets the neck. Once you see the neck start going, you're like, man, we could be in trouble, dude. Yeah. But if you 100% think it's a duck, I mean, at what point? First, you just think, oh, I misjudged ducks. Ducks are not as good as I thought they were as pets. And then you're going, nah, I bet it's a- Full-on goose, man.

It's a full-on goose. That's so funny. I mean, how do you even sleep at night? With the goose at the house? What do they do to them? I think they hunt you down. No, what do they do? Okay, so they found out they were geese.

Did they keep them? Or did they go, all right, maybe we should drop these off at the pond. I'm trying to find out more information because I enjoyed the story so much that I was like, I'd like to know. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure you go let them go. Right. But I don't know how you get them. You probably just have to open the door and go, go.

I mean, I don't think you can get them in your car and go properly let them go in water. You got to let them go in your regular neighborhood. Right. It's a goose that's furious. That's a goose they never let up. They don't want to leave. They don't want to leave they don't want

to leave they never let up a goose never just goes time out oh you don't think they just fly right out the i think they want to traumatize that family so they'd be like we're staying around yeah i don't think a goose ever you know is like hold on time out that's and you i don't think you'd ever get that moment of relief with a goose in your house where you go, all right, all right. And then you get everybody to stop for a second and go, this is, we need to figure something out. This is not working. I don't think you get to say that with a goose.

I think a goose is just full throttle. The second you realize it's not a duck, it's a problem until the day you get rid of it. It's like owning a boat for the first two days. The best two days of buying a boat is the day you buy it and the day you sell it's not a duck. It's a problem until the day you get rid of it. It's like owning a boat for the first two days. The best two days of buying a boat is the day you buy it and the day you sell it. Same thing with a goose. There's only one good day.

It's when you finally get rid of it and your family's alive. That's the only good day. You go, well, when it was a baby, it was cute. It doesn't even really matter because it did so much trauma up afterwards that i don't that one hour of enjoying it was just it's i wouldn't it's not worth it's not worth it you know yeah that's great it's a great story uh one more hotel miserable fast uh coming soon, a space hotel. Orion Span hopes to launch its Aurora Space Station in 2021 and open it to guests by 2022. A 12-day visit costs at least $9.5 million.

People can already put down an $80,000 deposit, join a wait list for reservations. They accept Bitcoin and other cryptocurrency. So if that's the case, I'll do it. And within 72 hours of opening the wait list the company said it's already sold four months worth of reservations deposits we also take uh unicorn poop like he just says stuff that's like it's make-believe i'm gonna go you know that's just an idea you're throwing out there where you gonna go stay on where is it mars no this is just like the space station oh you just stay it just floats around in space

yeah like the submarine it basically it looks like a submarine it's basically a submarine then you go where you guys want to go so you thought we were taking guests to mars in 2022 aren't there people on mars are there yeah they're there right now there's people on mars no they're not on Mars. What do we have on Mars? We have a few rovers over there. Curiosity. We're trying to go to Mars.

Yeah. Working on it. Yep. Sorry I'm not as up to date to Mars travel. We're taking hotel guests next year. It's a major human achievement. It's not like it's just space nerd stuff. I'm not saying it wouldn't be i'm not really paying attention like a little sorry i don't know

if humans are on mars or not yeah that'd be a big deal i'm not saying it's not a big deal i just asked a simple question i didn't really think that people on mars i haven't been up to date right i know you hear about mars a lot uh-huh i don't think the tone should have been thrown back at me i'm trying to make a horrifically boring podcast be funny i'm sorry i'm sorry for bringing some joy to just nonsense ryan span you're quoting r Spann over you That's fair But Visitors can see 16 sun rises Where are we at

I think they're saying the same thing as submarines Let's go down Can we get a little farther away get a better view of earth Nah Can we do 100 feet up There's no windows on this space I'd like to see earth it has no windows yeah it's just a sticker we forgot we forgot you're going and you're like is that oh we got here

quick huh yeah it's pretty quick i didn't feel really anything crazy dude yeah you know this is right where i came from my submarine hotel is we were it's like right down the road he goes is it i haven't I heard about that. Is that pretty fun? He goes, yeah, it's a pretty good time. Actually, this is the same crew here on this one. You know what's funny? I parked my car at the same spot.

Do you think they take a Rolls Royce if you go to... You guys want us to come pick you up? Nah, we're good. We'll just drive down. Take Southwest. Had a pretty easy flight down to go to mars i do like one of the amenities they offer besides seeing a sunrise every 90 minutes is high speed wi-fi yeah that's pretty good you get there and immediately like what's your password i need to check did you guys look outside a lot this is my phone quite a bit i had a fantasy draft

so i did that up in space you know did drafts cam dutton third round don't know if that was worth it but it's just like that's what you know that's what would happen right i would be like i just don't want wi-fi you'd almost rather just like let me i'm not bringing my phone i'm bringing an awesome camera i'm taking the full force me to enjoy this yeah I'm not bringing my phone. I'm bringing an awesome camera. I'm taking the full. Force me to enjoy this. Yeah, I'm not going to go up there and be flipping through and be like, oh, man, Susie. Arguing with mom. I watched the show with my fiance about people that charter yachts, luxury yachts in the Caribbean and stuff.

You talking about the, you watched the Bravo show? Yeah. Yeah, that's what it is. Dude, he's trying to act like he watched a documentary about. That's not. Yeah, you try to pass that off. Like, we were watching this just about people chartering. It's a straight up soap opera.

What is it? It's Beverly Housewives on a yacht. It's called Below Deck. Yeah, dude. The way you saw that. I thought it was on PBS. The Captain Mr. mr spinner over here you know what i watched something about uh the history of beverly hills oh that's cool what is

it it's these four women and they uh argue and fight over uh having just a lot of money and stuff like that and you're like oh that's cool anyway so we watched this expose. People that charter yachts, it costs so much money. You'd be surprised at the people that just get on there and just are on their laptop working the whole time, like you said. Yeah, they have a lot of money. And they go, yeah. A lot of them have to work to afford something like that. But, I mean, I imagine, yeah, you're just sitting there.

But, you know, like you got tired of this las vegas view you think you'd get how much do you think you're gonna go up there and be like as oh what let me guess the earth again uh yeah i'm good he goes guys you wanna watch a sunrise one more time oh my god the 15th is this one gonna be different 12 how long is this trip we've been over here for four days there eventually i don't think i get there quickly but i think everybody gets there eventually yeah i think i you still just go i can't believe i'm in space yeah it's like when you stare i like you can stare at the ocean a lot. There's stuff like in the wilderness. You could watch trees. If you're out in the mountains, you can go stare at mountains.

You go to Wyoming, I think you could stare at mountains for hours and just keep staring. And I bet there's enough other stuff going on. I mean, you're floating the whole time. You think the people that spend like 18 months in space, you think 18 months in, they're like, whoa, dude. I mean, no, I bet they get, yeah, yeah. I think they get tired of it.

I think it's just like you just want, it's a long time to be up there. That one guy spent a year up there and then came back. He thinks he spent a year alone, right, Kelly? No, he was up there. That one guy spent a year up there. And then came back. He thinks he spent a year alone, right? Kelly? No, he was up there with other astronauts. Was he? Because he's the only one that gets talked about being up there a year. Well, I think his case was so unusual because he has a twin brother

that stayed on Earth and they used... They did testing to see how your body changes. The bullhead dude? Yeah. He has a twin brother? Oh. Who's also an astronaut. He's a twin brother. Who's also astronaut. Ran for senator, didn't he? And no, it's Mark Kelly's the one that. That's the one we're talking about.

That's the one we're talking about. Yeah, but he has a twin brother. Yeah. And they did the test on the body to see how your body changes after a year in space. Yeah. Because their genetic makeup is the same. Yeah.

And did it change? Yeah. A lot? I think you age differently, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Like he looks older or younger? I better stop talking.

I don't know. He's probably taller than him. That'd be my guess. He's got hair. Stretches you out? Yeah, well, there's no gravitational pressure on your spine for 18 months. I bet. I bet you're significantly taller when you get back.

Significantly. I mean, that's the, he comes in. Whoa. Hey, little fella. Who drove this?

My twin brother can't even put my feet on the pedals. Uh, six, five. I'm not saying a foot taller, but a few inches, I bet, for sure. I think we would have heard about that more. Well, you didn't even know if people had landed on Mars, so I don't know if you would have heard about it.

He thinks they are there. I think I would have heard about it. I said, where is this going? Mars? There's a Tesla floating around in space, dude. I don't know what's going on up there, man. We might go up there in two seconds. That's fair.

Want to get to some flights? Yeah. Let's get to it. A six foot tall man would be as many as two inches taller when getting back from space. What says while in orbit? While in orbit. You return to normal.

After a few months when you get back all right i'm not saying he's still taller but uh you were you were hoping that yeah i was yeah he's like uh the most expensive flight the martian where was he at in that movie is it mars that wasn't a documentary. It's a little more credible than what Aaron's watching. It's more of a documentary than Below Deck is. Yeah. Probably. That's for sure.

The most expensive flight is from New York to Abu Dhabi. $64,000. But you get so much stuff on here For first class? A house and space, no it's a lot more than that Three room apartment basically On an airplane Lounge, a bathroom

And a bedroom Can you click on that? So it's first class So there's people And coach And then you're in the front. I think you get like your own private, it's called the residence because it's like a house on an airplane. Yeah.

You get a bedroom, a bathroom, and a lounge. A personal butler. One-way ticket costs $64,000, but it provides travel for two people. So I guess $64,000 for two two not that bad of a deal to be honest now we're getting somewhere uh how long is that flight new york to abu dhabi probably pretty long oh there we go we got all the facts except the length of the fight there's what the room looks like i mean it looks pretty comfortable it's more comfortable than any flight i've taken yeah obviously how yeah yeah that i mean is it like a the longest fight is like 24 hours so

uh that's i got that here longest flight is from singapore to newark new jersey 18 hours and 30 minutes 18 hours it's a long it's a long way to wake up and you're like where are we newark new jersey i guess we made it yeah yeah you just get off the plane and you're like all right this is uh at least we're where are we newark uh which airports have the most weather delays anybody want to guess uh seattle no. Not on the top 10. SeaTac. Not even in the top 10? Nope. Dallas is number 9. Chicago. O'Hare is number

3. New York. Boston. The Tampa airport. LaGuardia is number 4. JFK is number 8. Boston is number 6. Cheyenne. I don't know. I'm trying to think number 1. Probably was Denver. Denver is number 5. six uh cheyenne i don't know i'm trying to think number one uh as part of it was denver denver's number five i'm getting pretty good uh you're getting a lot of these lax

miami not weather weather delays yeah weather delay uh yeah it's uh man. Yeah, Miami. Sacramento. Now, Turler is definitely checked out. Yeah, I mean, I... Turler, I'll give you one more chance. I'll give another chance. Just what was number one? Number one, Newark.

Newark. Newark, because all the Singapore traffic comes in. Yeah. Guys, we're about to make the descent. We're going to have to circle around for another two hours. You've been on this flight for 18 hours. Yeah. I couldn't.

You know, I've been asked to go to Australia a bunch, and I do. I want to go. I kind of now want to wait until Harper's like 10 or 11 so we can take her and enjoy it. But that flight makes me, especially now, feeling claustrophobic. it's like the flight's so much how long is it it's like uh i just remember i threw through dallas and then through

lax by the time you get to the west coast you're just done with flying and then you got like a 16 hour flight or something left 16 hours it's something 14 16 from la from la yeah yeah i drove 16 hours on thursday it's a long day wow yeah that's a long day from where did you go springfield i was in hilton head on thursday yeah so at a 4 p.m show and hilton head so i left at 2 2 a.m spreading covid everywhere yeah i did the show and then drove back that night eight hours each way way. It's a long time. You didn't sleep? You just... You did one night?

No. I slept when I got back for a few hours. That's impressive. Did you watch some West Wing? That's the traveling of... Did you? No, I didn't. Yeah, you did.

I didn't, man. What'd you do? I listened to a lot of podcasts. Yeah. Real Housewives? I watched some Below Deck. Did you listen to a Below Deck podcast? it's real housewives i've watched some below deck uh do you listen to blow deck podcast oh is there a blow deck you see you like blow deck i don't mind it in terms of shows that i've watched with my fiance i don't dislike it when the when the people are

there it's reoccurring people right yeah it's the same crew yeah so is that a big sign to you that it wasn't documentary when you go wow this girl seems to be sassy every episode when you saw how much sass did it take before you go i don't know let me tell you among the stewards uh yeah a lot of sass going a lot of stuff yeah yeah the chief stew you know i could talk about it for a while but yeah i won't it's good i've never watched it, but it's, you know. It's interesting. It's like a whole new world I knew nothing about. Yeah. Chartering yachts.

It's like working at a restaurant, but yeah. No, yeah. My aunt loves it. Go ahead, Brian. What's the longest? Yeah, it's really. What's the longest you guys have been stuck on a plane? what's the longest you guys have been stuck on a plane uh i mean i went to uh when i flew into iraq from here to where did we go india first uh i've been to turkey istanbul with me joelist

louis cats and we you know the you know there's a big fight scene in uh taken or taken two or something where he fights at a bathhouse. And we went to that bathhouse. Oh, really? And we did the bathhouse thing. It's weird. You just lay on a, like, thing and a guy just hits you with it. With branches and stuff?

Yeah, like all that stuff. And then he rubs you down. Did it feel good? I don't know. It's pretty crazy. You know, it's like. I think it did. Would you do it here? I mean, honestly, as a guy, it's know, it's like. I think it did. Would you do it here?

I mean, it's honestly, it's a guy. It's like, it looks like your dad with no shirt on. It's like rubs your back and you, and then just hits you with stuff. And you're just kind of like, after a minute, you're like, ah, you're like, you're like, you know, you're like, okay, this is good. I get it. You know? I mean, it's, yeah, it's a little uncomfortable.

It's a guy. It looks like you're getting a bar fight with right after like it's that i mean oh i'm gonna wash your back i mean there's it's it's the most i feel like testosterone in a room right doing the most the least testosterone things a lot is basically what it is. It's just like, how can we get men crammed in and then make them do not man stuff? I don't even take a bath in regular life. You know? And then, well, let's do it.

What about if we got his uncle to wash his back? That's what it, you know, That's what the brochure should say. You ever wanted your uncle to wash your back and hit you with the stick? And you're like, I don't know. Maybe, maybe I do. I don't know if I want that. That's something you don't know. Is it like a luxurious thing to do over there,

or is it just like a very common, I don't know, getting haircut i think it's like eating a dog you know in other countries i don't know i made that up but they're it's i i think it's uh uh i think they you know they like it i think it's like going to somewhere here you know like other countries are like supposed like it's like nudity is not a big deal in like other countries and like you know that you grow up wine and uh france there's you're drinking wine or in italy you're like 10 11 you're having a sip of wine so i mean i think it's similar to that except it's a it's a man punching you in the back of the head with a cloth. Yeah. And you go, I appreciate it. And he slides you around,

like he grabs you and just spins you around. Where does he grab you? Like your feet. Like you'll be facing one way and it's like he's going to turn you. You're on a lazy Susan. Yeah. What's a big... I mean, go watch the scene from Taken

when he fights. We're laying on that. Like a merry-go-round kind of thing. Like is there a lookup like Taken look up like taking yeah it's like the he fights uh someone on that table yeah that's the one we went to we went to it that flight i don't like the results that just came out why don't we uh you know we'll screenshot that yeah that jumped up quick i never made that mistake when i had the laptop whatever those images were can't be worse than what i went through in that bathhouse it's uh

there's you know we so that flight we go and a little fun fact if you fly over a certain amount of time i want to say it's 12 hours or something like that and if you have oh no if your layover i'm sorry if your layover is over six hours to 12, I can't remember what the number is. You get a hotel room. They give you a hotel room, which we did not know that. So we specifically, we were going to Kuwait and Iraq. And so we specifically got a flight that had an 18 hour layover in Turkey and Istanbul because we go, oh oh let's just go walk

around instable you know we can go see it and so we go and we got a hotel room at first because we were like we get one room to shower and stuff in but then we found out if you get that long of a delay they they have to give you a hotel room so they gave us hotel we all got our hotel room we just went and showered real fast and then we were out and about and we just walked around the city basically for the rest of that time until we went back to the airport it was pretty great you ever take a long if you're ever taking some ridiculously long trip get a long layover in some town yeah and some country and then just go see that country and uh so we went and did that And then one time when I flew to India, I remember this girl, I was sitting on the edge.

I was in the two seats because I've flown to Germany, been in the middle, going to Iraq. And I remember I moved my seat back. I leaned it back, and the guy punched the seat. And I looked at him, and I was like, you know, and that was about it. And he's from Germany. He'd probably kill me. But he was just like, boom, he just hit it. He was like, you know, and that was about it. And he's from Germany. He'd probably kill me. I mean, but he was just like, oh, he just hit it.

It was like, don't do that. And then, like, your seat's back. Right. What's your thinking on leaning seats back on a plane? I've never had it happen. I've never leaned back. I think you just have a conversation with the person. No, you don't do that at all.

You don't? No. You just go, hey, do you mind if I lean back a little bit? You just go in. I think the seat leans back. You're allowed to lean it back. Yeah. You're just making up that you're like, well, you can't do it.

That guy could lean his seat back and we're in the same situation. What's the difference of if you both lean back, it's the same amount of room? We can't use the tray table if the person in front of you is leaning back. You can't. I mean, look, I get when some of them lean back, I get it. People slam it back. But if they do, then you're behind someone that does that, and that's what it is.

And then sometimes you don't get it, sometimes you do do it. I am now so self-conscious about doing it that I'll do it a little bit, but I won't do it much because I'm just so scared. I've had someone on one of those long flights i took uh the lady goes hey could you not lean your seat back my husband got is he's very tall and it's i mean it's like a 12 hour flight and you're like what are you doing like you know and then that guy puts his seat back so he gets to put his back but i don't get to put mine back well he is tall he is tall like there's a weird i think just put it back if you want i'm sick of tall people dude yeah i'm just throwing that out there they run this country really yeah can you not lean your seat back i'm tall yeah yeah you know there was they want the exit road that's like on southwest

yeah they get on they get on whenever they want right and then they go can i sit there and you're like yeah you could pay to get up earlier why don't you do that and then they don't they don't do that anyway so this is when i the thing i was talking about i was sitting on the edge and this girl i was at the window just two seats on the aisle i was at the window she was on the aisle and i got up to go to the bathroom and she goes you know if you want me to sit over there I won't get up and then I'm like you know I was still now I'm an guy but this was back when I was a window guy I used to be a big window guy now I've moved to the aisle I've seen enough out there and then there uh so she goes I go okay whatever. And so I switched seats with her. And dude, she did not move from,

I was like, Washington to India. Jacket over her head, didn't move. Wow. You know, when the sun sets and you got to close the window because you're going, and I had to do all that stuff. And I know you're just kind of looking at her for movement at some point.

Just to be like, are you okay? What's happening? She took something, I guess. Yeah. She's either the greatest sleeper that's ever lived. And we landed and she's like, hi. And you're like, I mean, I'm like a different person. You know?

Like the amount. She wakes up. I'm like, you don't even know what's been going on, dude. There's been a lot's happened. Wow. There was a video from earlier this year of a guy constantly punching the back of a woman's seat. And so a lot of debate came out about that. A guy invented a thing that you put on people's, called the knee defender.

That's insane. That's insane. If someone ever did that, that's where the line gets strong that's crazy to me that that guy would you cannot put that on there yeah that's not the seat goes back that's the deal if you want to argue it's not a we're not policing each other you're not doing some guy's not going he's he's not rigging the seat to go back a little bit farther you know what i mean like he's it's going back whatever it goes back if he wants to lean it back he can lean it back that's his right yeah if you don't like it maybe your fight's not as comfortable sometimes they are sometimes they're not sometimes you get

a comfortable fight that person doesn't if you don't want to deal with stuff like that you can go sit in different parts too you can pay more right you can go sit where there's comfort you're a little bit farther away there's other options but if a guy wants to throw it back then he gets to throw it back that's it is what i'm saying is how how we're doing so much to just avoid having a conversation with another human being if you're're seriously that uncomfortable with somebody leaning back, why don't you go, hey, do you mind just like for a little bit, just don't lean back, give me a little, you know? You go and buy a thing and just like do it without talking to them?

Well, that guy puts it on there and he wants to start a fight. That would be like if you see someone, like I saw one guy at Target with no mask. That's like that guy. Yeah. That guy wants you to say something to him and that's not majority of the people it's that's that's not even one percent of the people it's zero point whatever percent but there's enough guys that's the guys that wear a

t-shirt with a saying on it that want you to say something i saw this woman at target yesterday i felt like she was putting on a show she was uh her two kids, and they were asking about toys, and she was just trashing her two kids in a toy. And I was watching it, and the kid would be like, I want that. She's like, do you even know what that is? I'm not going to buy it, and then you're just going to put it in the closet again. That's all.

I'd rather spend a trip to disney world than buy this junk again like making trying to get like you know them yeah a couple of women are like like wives and has to walk by they're laughing and i mean and she just said and i'm kind of standing over there because i'm like i think i'm watching her do a show like as someone that tells jokes for a living this lady's getting some laughs yeah and so she just i mean she stood in the one spot and was just getting a new. Yeah. And so she just, I mean, she stood in the one spot and was just getting a new audience every couple minutes. Oh, so she had like two aisles that could watch her? She was at one aisle and you'd walk back, you'd walk in front of her.

Ah. So, but people are coming left and right and just, and I mean, she just would throw on the jokes. And I'm like, this lady's put on a show. And I like kept, Laura's like walking around. I was like, I want to follow her around because I think she's going to go to a different section and do the same another show same sketch i couldn't tell if i liked it like in my head as a as a performer you know you're like oh this is this is the person that would tell me that she could do comedy

she's got the itch man she's got the itch needs a scratch she's put on a full-on full-on show and killing yeah i mean doing pretty good. Yeah. She did all right. She got some laughs. Good for her. I'll skip ahead. Lost bags.

Airports mishandle 4.68 bags for every 1,000 passengers. Southwest has the most lost luggage, but they also have the most flights. So on average, they're about the same as other airlines there's an unclaimed baggage place in scottsboro alabama you guys been there i almost went to it uh last time we were there someone mentioned it about going there where you can go buy all the stuff yeah from bags yeah that's pretty interesting because i didn't know about it so if someone's listening where's it at? It's in Scottsboro, Alabama. It's a 40,000-square-foot warehouse.

Nation's only retailer of lost luggage. Some crazy stuff that they've had there. One of them was a live rattlesnake. They still sell that? Well, they didn't sell the rattlesnake. They said they didn't put that on the sales floor. But they get all kinds of crazy stuff. Dude, how great would it be? There's also a rattlesnake. They said they didn't put that on the sales floor. But they get all kinds of crazies. Dude, how great would it be? There's also a rattlesnake for sale.

You're like, wow, can I see it? It's like, yeah, I mean, it's somewhere in this building. 40,000 square foot. Yeah, I mean, absolutely. We're selling anything. It's huge. You can have it if you can find it. If you can find it.

We'll give you a deal on it. If you make us find it, it's 500 bucks. I don't know what a rattlesnake goes for. It feels like 500 would be a decent, decent, you know, because I can go catch it for free. Who, I mean, it's probably illegal to put a rattlesnake in your checked bag. I don't know about that, Brian. Yeah, it is actually.

It is. I checked. Oh, it is. Oh, Aaron, you know what turns out? What I'm saying is who? Turns out, Aaron, it is illegal to put a live rattlesnake in your checked bag. It's a good callback. I would argue, is your checked bag?

If you're checking the bag. Oh, that's fine. What I'm saying is who does that and then just forgets their bag or doesn't get it? Knowing there's a rattlesnake. If they lost the bag. Yeah, but you can go get it, right? But if they lost it, it's lost. Well, it's not lost.

It's at the store now. Well, the word lost. But if you're... I think it's gone. Yeah, they keep it at the airport for about 60 days. Okay. If you forgot it, now you're not going to go back and get it probably because you realize that airport's opened that rattlesnake and they know you're not supposed to have it.

Oh. That's my guess. So once you forgot it, you're probably lost. Oh, I thought that's what I was asking. Yeah. Well, after 60 days, they take it to the unclaimed baggage store. So they found it. Yeah, because if it's lost, it could be lost all right so i thought this was a mix it's uh i think it's the grass is the

greener on me yeah yeah on what's happening with me and you right right now flip side there's all kinds of crazy stuff there though shrunken heads they found from South America, space shuttle camera, all kinds of crazy stuff there. A space shuttle camera. Yep. Wow. Modified. I don't even know. What is, like, a camera that they used on the space shuttle?

Designed in the late 80s. The unique model was one of the earliest iterations of the digital camera. Only three were made. Because of its rarity, the company sent the camera back to NASA. camera only three were made because of its rarity the company sent the camera back to nasa it's uh oh it was a camera that used all this but why how does that get i don't know the rattlesnake is still number one i mean the fact that a live rattlesnake just to you know yeah i mean you're definitely can't go back and get that back yeah you want to go back and get it and you gotta tell the person is like let's just go back and get

it they i thought they're finding it they said they could they called and found it yeah it's like i gotta i gotta tell you something uh i had to rely on it was gonna be a surprise. All right. And I'm still going to get it to you. It's not going to be this one. I bought you a live rattlesnake for your birthday. That's what he had to tell that guy. And he goes, oh, man. He goes, I know.

But they got it. I was hoping the bag wouldn't get lost. I was going to check it overhead, but then I just didn't know this thing rattles you know i mean you hear it in the bag i'll say the snake wasn't thrilled to be in the bag let me tell you that when i put it in there with my clothes it didn't feel like this was going to go good so i thought i better check this back that's what i thought that was my thought process and i bought you this rattlesnake and i don't feel stupid that i don't have i don't have any everybody's giving the guy presents and he goes and i have i have nothing i had i was going to be the leader

of presence to i'm embarrassed yeah that was funny uh longest bus route in the u.s from miami florida to seattle washington this is anywhere down the street yeah That was funny. Longest bus route in the U.S. From Miami, Florida to Seattle, Washington. This is anywhere down the street. Yeah. I spent a night in a bus one month. What's that say? Is that the same? It's not that.

I know what you're talking about. The Merv Griffin episode. I spent a month there one week. Yeah. Miami to Seattle, 88 hours hours which is three days and 16 hours routes offered by greyhound i think if you're in if you go on an 88 hour bus trip i think as a group you've you've become friends with multiple groups and you've hated other people i think you there's a pod and you're just circling i mean i, I think, I honestly, it would be like Survivor,

the TV show Survivor. If you're on an 88-hour bus ride, I think you would just be, you'd go through just wild swings, dude. Yeah. You would just, you know, there's points of, I mean, hour 18, you would go sit next to just a stranger and be like, I don't know if i can do this is are we crazy to be doing this and she because you have 70 more or no 18 you'd have 60 more hours

yeah 60 no right now 70 70 70 more hours 70 more hours after 18 can you imagine after 18 hours on a bus would you do like airplane where you strike up the conversation as you're pulling into c i don't even think you're trying to i think it's just it'll happen it's it's gonna happen it's just pure survival it'd be like if you were trapped in the wild like if you were lost if you're in deserted island and another guy showed up you would be like oh my god i can't believe you're here. You would start, you're talking out of that desperation. Yeah. And to be 88 hours.

But a lot of people on plane say they don't start a conversation until they're about to land in case that person's a nut job. Yeah. Or a nightmare. But then if you're like, oh, the person was great. Yeah. On a bus, you're quiet for three days. I think on a bus, I think you're in there. So where are you from?

I think some people don't make, they just make noises. Yeah. I think you're, you know, I mean, I'd be disappointed if there wasn't a live rattlesnake just in someone's back. I think there's a lot of stuff. If you're on a bus, I did a bus. The only ones I've done is New York to Boston. It was pretty great. It was super smooth, easy.

Some of those buses are unreal now. I mean, they have they have wi-fi they're you're all set up it wasn't crowded we got our own row but 88 hours man i mean that would be it makes uh 45 stops nashville is one of them and i checked their schedule if you're going home for christmas you need to leave on december 21st to get there by Christmas morning. Wow. $229. I mean, I think you can get a flight cheaper than that. Yeah.

There was flights from LAX to Las Vegas for $12. $12. Really? Is that not crazy? I don't feel like you're giving it to me and that's 12 dollars i mean that way i mean it's wild man yeah but it's that's wilder than if they said free yeah i would free would make more sense to me because you're like what are they doing something 12 bucks 12 bucks that's crazy yeah that's crazy. Yeah. It's a short flight, though.

You would tip the baggage guy more than your flight cost. Yeah. The Uber would be wildly more expensive. Over budget because of the Uber. $12. The $12. $12. Brian, did you have the joke about you were on an Uber so long

that you and the driver hugged after the an uber so long that you you and the driver hugged after now the car the trip was over no that's not me i feel like i know that joke yeah i thought it was you no not me i wish it was that's funny yeah um longest uber ride all right yeah let's speed through some of these all right the longest uber ride it was a promotional thing by a youtube celebrity called mr beast he went from north carolina i looked up mr beast once oh you know wild stuff yeah uh i just looked at i was like looking up youtube stuff and what these guys mr beast i mean they make and they're making like 10 million dollars a year like these guys

yeah and they and he does i think it's the guy that someone's described him as being like, it's a guy that, that actually does the clickbait title that he said. Yes. Yeah. So it's like, there's, it's, it's a title that you would be a clickbait title and then he actually does it. Right. Well, watch the video.

He, uh, he goes from North Carolina to California. First thing he has to do, obviously, is convince his Uber driver to drive him from North Carolina to California. I mean, the guy has to call his wife and explain the whole thing. So he and his buddies ride to California, and they document it. Whole trip cost, anybody want to guess? $13,000? Yeah. $8,000.

$5,500. 13 000 yeah uh 8 000 5500 but he the driver got 4100 after uber tickets cut but mr beast i think he matched whatever the guy got paid he so the guy probably got you know close to 10 000 drive back yeah by himself yeah yeah and then so he paid him to drive back yeah so like that's that's so i have a uh the only thing with his youtube stuff like that kind of guy i don't mind that like it's like coming up with stuff but like that's the thing that where creativity is like going that like uh as far as like your your product that you're known for is and look you got to be the guy that wants to do something like that hey we're going to do this and shoot it and put it out but it's you know it's like i don't know it's like i don't know how creative is if you know it's uh us we if we ever do the crispy cream thing how many donuts can we eat or if we do you know it's like how three how long could three of

us last in a submarine who would lose it first and you're like for sure i know but you go like i'm gonna get submarine i'm gonna film it i don't know it's like to me that's the only thing that i i have i have a hard time wrapping my head around it's because like i think what we do as far as like in your stand-up is you're making this up out of thin air and you're making you know you're you're you're creating a show and with everything and this kind of stuff is you know it's it's just like are you crazy enough to go want to do this yeah that's what it is and then if you are then you are going to get paid millions of dollars i mean you know i mean jackass was kind of that i guess right but it's like these guys could but they would do like dangerous you you know, I guess you're paying, you're paying for their personalities too, I guess.

But yeah, to watch them. Yeah. Yeah. The the longest legit Uber ride, not like a stunt was from Dallas to Nashville. Three Chinese business men flew into Dallas, Fort Worth. They had to get to Nashville for a noon meeting on the next day on Monday. All the flights were canceled because of weather. So they took an Uber, 685 miles,

more than 11 hours to Nashville. So that had to be a couple thousand dollars for you? It was $1,100, in which the driver got $800. Not bad. Yeah, $1,100 is not bad. Not bad for the businessman, you mean. Not bad for everybody involved. Everybody involved.

Just a good transaction. It says, by comparison, if they had booked a bus trip to Nashville, it would be about $100 each, but they probably wouldn't have arrived on time. Yeah, well, that's the big one. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. We done? Is there any more fun ones fun like any quick fun ones uh service animals starting 2021 can't be on planes oh really yeah i didn't know that when did that happen uh just recently yeah uh people upset about it yeah some people are dog dogs can still go as long as they meet certain requirements they argued for miniature horses because they said they were smaller than than some dogs and

that miniature horses can lay down easier than typical horses. But why does someone need a miniature horse? I don't know. Is that in capuchin monkeys? What do you have that you need a miniature horse? I don't know. I would argue those are the people who should be getting to do it. The people that own the miniature horse?

If you have a dog, you're just doing that because you don't want to pay baggage fees but if you have a uh therapy turkey you got issues yeah and those are the people i want to keep an eye on yeah yeah those are the ones i want to know about now i can't know if they're crazy when i sit down if i have a therapy rattlesnake i can't just throw that in my bag yeah you don't want to get there and he's like, what's your, you have a therapy room? I do. Oh, where is it? You'll see. You'll see. I would rather any animal but dogs be allowed to do it.

There is, I, it was out of control. I love that they shut this down. There's, these are all the people that, not the ones that need it. There's plenty of people that you can tell when they need it. And's it's it's it's a serious dog everybody else i would uh i i never believed it for a second and i they what's funny is these are the people that take advantage they're the people that don't want you to take advantage of anything but they're taking advantage they are mocking the idea it's it's a mockery of just the person that actually does need the dog i've seen like military guys they have like a big dog

like you know you're like that dog's there for a reason right yeah all that kind of stuff and then all these other people that have these little dogs and then they're just sitting there it's like well i get anxiety when i fly you like you everybody does by the way i i've started in claustrophobia like everybody everybody gets all this stuff you could've started in claustrophobia like everybody everybody gets all this stuff you could take something for that you have a dog you want to take your dog for free and you want to make it up and be this yeah scenario yeah you're completely lying and taking advantage of people that actually need it it's actually disgusting it's actually you're being you're being a disgusting person yeah why do you do that it's a mean thing it's yeah and i agree you're you're now in 2021 they can't they can't it's

great so good good for them good i'm good yeah i love it i love it it was infuriating uh some of the sebastian mascalco had as the joke where he said someone took a peacock you have no one in your family that just goes, what are you doing? Like, you know, that's the best. I love that example. Like, you have no one in your life that goes, what? No. You can't take a peacock on a plane?

That's crazy. All right, is that it? Yeah, I mean, I got more, but That's crazy. All right. Is that it? Yeah, I mean, I got more, but that's a good stopping spot. We're going to need a service animal for this. The record spent on an airplane

on the tarmac, 11 hours. The record spent? Like stuck on the tarmac. Oh, wow. Jet blue, February 14th, 2007. They wouldn't let the passengers get off. They spent 11 hours. They call it the Valentine's Day.

I feel like this is like how when you, you know you're saying like you wait to talk to the person until the very end, right? Yeah. I feel like that's what you're doing with this material. You read the breast stuff right where we're about to leave. Good night. You could have opened with that one.

That would have been a little more funner. All right, everybody. As always, thank you guys so much for listening. We love you guys and everything. We miss you. I don't know. We miss you. I miss you.

Be safe. I miss you. Be safe. Be careful out there. We'll see you next week right before Christmas and the holidays. So, all right. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in.

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