The Nateland Podcast - #26 Christmas

Episode Date: December 23, 2020

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. So this episode, the guys delve into the history of many of our Christmas traditions and share a few Christmas traditions of their own.   Co-hosts: Brian Bates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber)   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail] #nateland #natebargatze

howdy folks welcome to nateland i thought of that this weekend i don't know if i like hello i don't think i say hello something good you say howdy more howdy folks is that no you know it's not good you invented hello folks yeah hello folks hello folks welcome to nateland maybe hello folks yeah i think about it a lot uh so i like it i remember i know i forgot to say it a couple times and i'm you know i was thinking about that i was like no i need to we need to say it like that's fun welcome to nateland that all kind of works out yeah i heard someone say hello folks welcome Remember, I know I forgot to say it a couple times, and I was thinking about that. I was like, no, we need to say it. Like, that's fun. Welcome to Nate Lane. That all kind of works out. I heard someone say, hello, folks.

Welcome to the store. And I'm like, that's what we're doing. James Brown on CBS Sports this week started NFL Today with, hello, folks. Hello, folks. People say folks a lot, you know. Like, I have it with a joke that I'll have in the special whenever it comes out. It's One Fell Swoop. I've been hearing One Fell Swoop a ton.

It's like I don't think I've ever heard anybody say it, and then I've just heard it a bunch now. You just hear that One Fell Swoop. You're like, oh, all right. It's happened. Welcome. Thanks for listening. As always, we love that you're here, and we appreciate you.

Everything, you know, we're getting close to the end of the year. Is this the 25th episode? 26, I think. 26. Halfway through. Halfway through until we're done. We're just doing 50 and tapping out? That's it.

I said we'd get to 27. No. No, I'm joking. I said we get to 27. Uh, no, no, I'm joking. Uh, there is no halfway, I guess.

I just met 26 is half a year. Oh yeah. From a full year. Yeah. Yeah. And we're, we're starting to grind it out now. Starting to figure it out.

Uh, as always, we're going to read, uh, started off with, uh, some of you guys comments. You can comment on YouTube,

Instagram, Twitter, Apple podcast reviews, Nate land andatebargetzi.com uh always we appreciate the reviews you're leaving us to five when you click the five stars it's like the we like force you if you ain't gonna click five stars don't go click it right tell me what we're doing wrong and guess what y'all do. Austin Thrift. This is the funniest episode yet. Surprisingly topped weather. Oh.

I love how Bridge tried to convince Nate that there's civilian stations on Mars. Meanwhile, Aaron is over there busting blood vessels laughing. I laughed so hard at this one. I laughed so hard at this, I saw a star. And I did not think that's how the sentence was going to end in my head we were going down a different road i laughed so hard at this i saw stars it makes sense now but when i started i don't know what i thought it's gonna be i was gonna say what were you thinking yeah i don't know what it's gonna be adam rothman nate aaron and bo staff always surprised me with how they find them funny in some of these comments.

I'll read them every episode and be like, there's no way these are helpful to the program. Then they come out and crack me up talking nonsense. Too dumb for me, though, so I'll no longer be watching. Goodbye, folks. Is Adam out, too? He's joking. We're losing him every episode. I mean, we're losing him.

Yeah. You know, I feel sorry for Turler because you know people are like, dude, they talked about you the entire podcast,

but he's already like said I'm out. He goes, I can't go back. Right, he's a man of principle. We know that much. Well,

he probably watches, but he's like, I can't say anything. Yeah. I don't know, I know. Turler can't comment back. Yeah.

I had my, a friend said he wanted to fight him and I said, let me get eyes on know. Turler can't comment back. Yeah. I had my friend said he wanted to fight him. And I said, let me get eyes on him because Turler could be gigantic. There's a chance. With Turler. It's a name like that probably. Name like that. Man or woman. I would.

If they said you're about to go fight Turler. And they goes, we're not going to tell you if it's a man or a woman. You might be like, I don't know if I want to go in there. Yeah. Either way. Yeah, I don't know if it matters. I don't know if it matters. It's going to be.

If somebody wanted to fight him? Turler. They wanted to fight him because he left us? Because he left us. Wow, that's a good friend. Yeah. Well, we get to kind of. Some loyal folks.

Folks we got listed, man. We're like the gang. Is there a gang called folks? Somebody said there was. I'm not too up on that, so I don't know. Maybe we're a startup. We have a nice, lovely gang. I mean, just a very easy.

Easy going. No, no, no. They're like, you trying to fight? No, no, no. Not at all. We will just write clever comments about your gang. That's what we would do as a gang, to attack other gangs, is we all write clever comments.

Just pick a few to read, if you don't mind. And then we hurt you in your heart. Jeffrey McClevey, watching the show with my wife and about 30 minutes in, she asked me if the guy in the middle was special. Without missing a beat, I told her, no, breakfast just always looks worried. Thanks, guys.

Love the show. Well, I am special. My mom told me. You are. He's worried. You don't got to worry about that comment. You are going to now. Walk around.

Hey, buddy. Do people hold the door for you when you go into a lot of places? Do you notice that more than usual? I notice there's a lot of guys telling their wife stuff about me. A lot of wives are just saying, last week it was somebody thought I was your dad. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of wives are worried for you because you have a worried face.

Right. I mean, for that person to comment that so young. About me being your dad? No, about you being looking worried. The girl in high school. Oh, yeah. Senior trip. I mean, talk about, is she going to be president or something?

I mean, that just, she's on it. Yeah. That's the word. You have to find out what she's doing. I know. I think I told you she went to McGavock High School. Yeah. They all did. Yeah.

But unfortunately, I don't know her name. Do you remember her name? No, I don't know her name. I'd be curious. I mean, something like that. She should be doing good in life. She's just picking up on stuff. Maybe she's a detective.

Yeah. Okay. A big detective. Yeah, doing what? Just insulting? Detective insulting detective no i'm saying she she picks up on stuff she solves crimes oh right okay or like yeah like she walks in a room and she's like i know what happened here she just reads very aware she knew the exact word that would cut brian the most you're that you know that's what all the good detectives're that, you know, on top of it. That's what all good detectives do. That's right. Yeah. They know the right cut downs.

Well, don't they have to solve a crime? Well, apparently every one of our listeners can solve that crime as well. I know. They all let us know. But I'm saying, if you have to solve a crime, if she was so aware

and noticed that you're worried, like she picks up on stuff. Like really good. Saying him, I don't know if I would have said you look worried, but that's perfect now that's all i see and then so for her to pick up on i'm saying like if she goes into a

crime scene and they're like what do you see she goes why is the where was the kitchen knife drawer open right she picks it up immediately right you know I mean, the funny thing is I was trying to look so cool, and it just definitely backfired on me. Atticus Hauser. Hoser. Hauser. Atticus Hauser. It's a lot.

Atticus. I just don't believe that's a real name. No, Atticus is in the book, right? Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird. Maybe they're related. Harper Lee. From Harper Lee, your favorite author. Yep.

Maybe Atticus is related to Atticus Finch. Yeah, that's how it works. Well, back then it did. It wasn't last name. It was first name. Do you know that? Back then? Do you mean when did?

A while back ago. The fact that you said, Die Land, right after somebody said the show was too dumb is just amazing. Yeah, people were texting me. My buddy Justin, our tour manager, was texting, like, the Spittin' Hot Fire,

the Chappelle's sketch, Die Land. Was' Hot Fire, the Chappelle's sketch, Dylann. Was he Dylann in the Chappelle's sketch? Dylan. I don't remember. The rapper? The rapper, yeah. He stayed in the house. I spit hot fire.

It's very funny from the Chappelle show. Yeah, Dylann, I don't know what. Yeah. You know, you spelled a a little just a little different and then i mean i i get i get down i go down the wrong exit you know it's like if a stop sign was just a little crooked but i guess we don't stop you know uh that makes sense emma skinner i love when aaron or brian asks a question that is kind of out there. Nate completely rips them apart. But he also gets so upset when he asks an even more ridiculous question like, do we have people on Mars?

And Aaron and Brian try to calmly teach him something. Love listening to y'all. Yeah, well, I think their questions are ridiculous. And a lot of talk about Mars. Not insane. You're not insane if someone's's super busy as my as i am yeah i'm just slammed okay all day and i'm just hearing mars and you just happen to have missed what would have been the greatest human achievement of all time i get it i mean there's aliens and no one cares so i don't know if anybody's gonna care that we're

on mars i bet no one cares as much we won't even hear about it yeah i think it would trend on twitter for at least a few hours if we landed on mars not saying it's not gonna trend on twitter i think big news is like us being shocked about anything is you know is over there's some truth to that but i think that's that's you would have there's, which we will talk about in another episode. But they are straight up talking about aliens. Yeah. And no one's really, no one's really like, eh. Yeah, you're right.

We got a lot going on. Yeah. Would you be more surprised that a man on Mars are aliens? Right now, a man on Mars. Then aliens? Because I'm pretty sure there's not a man on Mars. I know, but if they showed you an alien, I feel like you're not wrapping your head around an alien like you're you're you're you're just going all right so there's aliens but i mean they straight up we watched an alien talk like it's a movie and you're gonna see an alien that's crazier than a

man on mars i don't what what i mean you think we can do anything as humans where we keep going. Like, we're going to get a man on Mars. That's not going to not happen. Yeah. Probably will happen in our lifetime. I thought you were asking right now if you found out there was a man on Mars. Yeah, that would surprise me. But even if they said, even so they said, hey, by the way, we've been keeping it a secret, but we have a man on Mars.

And to tell you about it is this alien you know what that actually just did happen due to press conference yeah about it and he and he comes out hello i'm an alien and we're like y'all say it like that he goes yeah we just say alien that just happened actually what i was gonna say for the next episode but yeah there's an israeli former israeli defense guy top top guy there and he just said that we've we've had contact with aliens yeah and there's a galactic federation yeah and the u.s and aliens have underground base on mars yeah all right yeah well that's we're we're talking about that we're recording an extra episode today just so we're gonna talk

about that after that i don't get too much into it uh if y'all want to stay tuned to that breaking news get broken here the news gets broken here i wish someone would come here for just the news and they go this is what I get. I hear about it pretty late. But Emma Skinner. I already said that one, right? Yeah. She's the one that.

Nick Bubak. Bubak. Bubak. Maybe Bubak. B-U-B-A-K. How would you say that? I wouldn't. I would say Nick B.

That's what I'd do. I mean, these names are all ridiculous. Nick Bubak. That's his family name, man. Yeah, the Bubak family. He came over on the Mayflower. And you're going to sit here and... They're one of America's founding families.

Yeah, the Bubak family. The Bubak family. Here's what we do. Bubak's welcome. Hello, my name is John Bubak. Got a son named Nick. Welcome to America. AA Ron says, the people that have been in space for 18 months,

and Nate follows up with, what about the guy that was in space for a year? Like he thinks a year is more than 18 months. I did notice that at the time. It was hilarious. Yeah. Well, don't say it like that, dude. Don't be weird.

Say year and a half. You're right. You don't have a kid. Don't start talking kid language. It is weird. When do you stop saying months? Well, apparently you start before you have children. But a lot of people would, 18 months, you would still say 18 months.

I think you go up to two years. Yeah. You go, I think it's like, she's 20 months old, and then you start, she's almost two. Okay. And then you start going by a year. And then you start going by a year. That's fine. I don't know why I said 18 months.

A year sounds longer than 18 months. I don't think it does, dude. I think. A year? We're going to wait 18 months? No, you're going to wait a whole year. Are you kidding me? All right.

It sounds. But did you think a year was longer than 18 months i don't i know that it's not okay uh uh and being funny maybe that's something you guys could throw in once in a while uh god Wow. God forbid. I'm trying to carry this podcast. It feels like it's been 18 months. How many we've done. Acidu Rivarda. A-C-I-D-E-A-U-X. People are making up names to try to be hard to pronounce. They're logging in. Do you think they're making up fake accounts?

Because his name is Acido. Acido Rivarda. They call him Acid for short. Rivardo, his family, they greeted the Bubak family. They were already here. A friend of mine had young children who wanted a teacup piglet. She found a great deal for one costing about $1,200. Not bad.

A few months later, it turned out to be a full-sized hog. And she had to get rid of it after it bit one of her kids. That's so great. Just a cute little... I mean, the few months are just amazing i mean just every day you wake up you're like look at this thing you put in your purse you know and then just it's a straight up boar in your house big does get and they're just not cool no and. And I mean, yeah, and it bit one of her kids. That's great.

Because it's a wild animal. And then you're selling a hog. Just to go to be like, yep, let's get a little piglet to, you're in the hog selling business. You got to deal with that. It says she got rid of it. You think she tried to sell it i mean you're gonna try to spend 1200 bucks you might want to try to get some back off of it i'm

sure someone's like i'm trying to buy a hog yeah and if you don't come up with find somebody looking for a hog there's gotta be a ton of people looking for hogs dude well there's auctions yeah and you go but you don't you don't but you don't present the idea of going with the she lost money on this though right well you don't present the idea of going with the... She lost money on this, though, right? Well, you don't go, I have to get rid of this because I'm afraid it might eat one of my children. You just go, I got a hog for sale. You're like, oh, that's cool. How'd you get it?

You're like, oh, just I'm in the hog business. And then they go, yeah, $1,200. It's not that bad. But if she comes out of desperation, she's scared. of desperation of she's scared you know if you're like this hog sleeps in my bedroom and i don't get to go in there because the hog dominates our house took over the house it just took over the house and i need it out well now a guy's gonna be like i'll give you 300 bucks for a hog and you're in you're in a little tougher situation right so i hope she went in it with, I bought this hog on purpose. Right. You know?

That's how you sell something. That's Asadu Rivera. Asadu spelled like how LSU spells all their words. You know, the E-A-U-X. Asadu. Like go tigers. Yeah. Asadu Rivera is a name I would think would know how to handle a hog and I think would just be fine with it.

Yeah. Sounds like the person you'd be selling the hog to. Right. Who'd you sell to? Asadu Riverto? Oh, the Riverto family? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they buy hogs all the time.

Georgia Sheehan. I'm an internationally certified professional animal trainer who deals largely with assistant animals i'm not saying miniature horses should be on planes but people so use them as guide animals for the blind just thought this would be a fun thing to share that most people wouldn't know exist but it is more common than people realize wow interesting so the so uh miniature horses are wouldn't know exist, but it is more common than people realize. Wow. Interesting. So miniature horses are, I mean, they're helpful.

I wonder what they can do that a dog couldn't do. I mean, why would you want one of those instead of a dog? Other than just, it's a conversation piece. You can't ride a miniature horse, can you? Depends on how big the blind person is. That's true true i think if me and you were blind i think it's different i think i could ride it a couple blocks busy intersection yeah maybe i don't want to walk because i don't know what's going on the horse is like come You know? I didn't think about that. Yeah, you just hop on your guide horse.

Yeah. Wow. You can't do that with a dog. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess they're good at it. You know? Can they see better? Do they get it more? Do they get it? Like, do they get?

Just, like, understand the world a little bit better. Maybe, man. Than a dog. Maybe they're scared. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe they're calmer. Yeah. They got to be more expensive, though.

They hit... The car comes at you, it hits it with its head. You know, it'd be tough if Asado tried to buy a guide horse and it turned out to be a full-size horse. Yeah. That would be upsetting. Bunking Braco. Right. Yeah, those are the jokes I'm dealing with, guys. guide horse and it turned out to be a full-size horse yeah that would be upset bunking brocco right yeah those are the jokes i'm dealing with guys see what i'm talking about

bringing comedy to the table you do a horse full size that's ridiculous don't be, Aaron. Acido knows better than that. She's not going to. I'm guessing it's a she. A friend of mine had young children. Maybe he bought it. Yeah, I thought it was a he. Oh, interesting.

A guide horse is for people that they live much longer than dogs, but people can also be allergic to dogs. So if you're allergic to dogs and you're blind, you can get a horse. All right. That seems like a big, like to bring that up. And he goes, well, I'm allergic to dogs. Go. Okay.

Okay. And then just go, what about, what about a baby horse? And then he goes, I don't know, man. I don't know. That's what I think the conversation, if you're, if you're blind and he goes, okay. All right, he has to listen to you. What about a miniature horse? He goes, what about a horse?

He goes, that seems, I don't know how they're going to fit in a lot of doorways. And he goes, no, don't. Come on, man. That's an insane question. Probably makes the blind guy feel bad. Well, that's stupid. And you might, I thought you were just blind. I didn't know you were also stupid.

And you go, all right, all right, dude, take it easy. This guy's not, he's looking at a wall. He doesn't even know he's, he goes, all right. And he goes, you know, you're not even looking at me.

He goes, all right, man. What, are you a doctor or what? He goes, yeah, I'm here. Fill around about waist height. Right. What do you feel? It's your new guide, Frankie. And then you walk out of there with that baby horse.

Wow. And then you got to deal with that, just the questions being thrown at you by everybody, everywhere you go. You're pooping on the sidewalk. right man it's not normal either it's like you know it's horse that seems crazy yeah they're about as big as the dog you know well yeah last week we talked about some people say they're smaller than big dogs so why shouldn't they be allowed well some individuals are also concerned that a horse's powerful fight or flight instinct may lead it to have less predictable behavior than that of a guide dog

so this this thing might just run if the traffic's too bad or something it's just well so my daughter said is loves horses and we take her to this uh horse camp she's learned she works there she goes and helps out and does all the work she's obsessed with horses and uh but so she i was there this weekend to get her and she uh they had to correct her because they uh she went like low to climb the horse was in the stable and the road, the little chain that keeps them from walking out. She went under it and she told her like, you can't go, can't go that low because a horse has irrational fears.

So if you go low, they think it could be a mouse, coyote, like they will just start losing their mind. They don't realize. So you got to kind of be tall, you know, just teach my daughter that always kind of stand tall to horse. Cause they, they get nervous, but I mean, that horse got to kind of be tall. You know, just to teach my daughter that, always kind of stand tall to the horse because they get nervous. But I mean, that horse is so low to the ground. That article said that a couple were riding horseback in New York City and they noticed the horse could cross the street on its own

and knew the signals. So that's how they figured out horses could be guide dogs or guide horses. So they already, horses just already get the signals they're just bored and going there are no street lights yeah they get it like you said they just they just get it i like horses i like the fact that they have irrational like it's the idea is like how are they as a guide animal? And it's like, they're actually perfect, but they can be unreasonable. And if that happens, I mean, it's bad. Right.

If a mouse runs near your horse, it's... It's over. It's over. Like, is it going to try to kill it? No. It's going to run. It's scared. And so it's going to be...

Like a dog could you know would just look i feel a dog looks before it goes and a horse is just it's pure chaos right patrick branson sounds like old money the branson family they started branson missouri could have been maybe i had been straight all right i i do like a lot of false starts you made it two and a half more yes all right let's back up i can feel the rhythm i go into it sometimes i'm like well that's not you know you're like i'm out of sync yeah we're trying to do this all right right. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's regroup. Yeah, I got started. I caught that ball wrong.

And then I was like, this is not good. I've been stranded in JFK Airport for an entire day during a snowstorm and knew I wasn't able to leave. So I was trying to get my bag from the claim office so I could get some things out of it for the night. When a bunch of really angry people came storming and asking for their bags immediately. I actually told one lady she had to wait because I had been there first when she got crazy on me and informed me that they had all been sitting on a plane on the tarmac for 11 hours. This was actually the flight you mentioned at the end of the episode. I spent a total of 27 hours in the terminal, but I can't even imagine being the one stuck on the plane for 11 hours. I think they ended up suing JetBlue.

I do remember them suing JetBlue, which we talked about last week. Yeah, JetBlue was in some, I mean, it looked so bad for them. Their president immediately issued this big statement. I think he still ended up losing his job. Yeah. Because their motto was, we're going gonna get you there no matter what yeah and so they would not let these people off the plane like no no no we're it'll happen yeah i don't understand why they could they're on the they're still at the airport yeah why why couldn't they just let them out i think they literally just kept thinking we're gonna get out of here we're next don't

get off we're gonna get out of here and after 11 hours they finally had to relent and say we're not getting out of here took them that long to realize huh i think they did yeah wow i feel like they're yeah there's something like maybe they get if they get them off the plane it's like now you're out of the line you know and so then you're going to get skipped but yeah what did they say like what's the max now four hours three hours that you can keep them on a plane i don't know um yeah i mean it shouldn't be more than three i mean really shouldn't be like filled out you know use reason i feel like that's what these airports should just be logical. Yeah.

And go, do you feel this is going to happen? You'd be like, I don't know. I doubt it. Yeah. You know, but go,

if people would just tell people the truth, a lot of stuff would be bad for 11 hours. If you came out and was like, look, I think we can get out. We're probably going to sit here and wait for a little bit, but if you want to get home, if you know,

just straight up, say, if I take you back and drop you off, we're out of the line, we're not going to have to sit here and wait for a little bit. But if you want to get home, just straight up say, if I take you back and drop you off, we're out of the line, we're not getting out. If I stay here, then we can maybe get out. I can't promise you. If you just said that. What do you think those calls from the pilot were like on that plane? You know, every 30 minutes, we're going to be getting out of here

in just a minute. Just hang tight, everybody. Waiting around some paperwork. It's going to be coming in 11 hours of that. Yeah. That's crazy. Taylor Smith. I was waiting on my flight while listening to this episode.

When I got seated, the woman in front of me immediately leaned her seat back. I tapped her on the shoulder and said, excuse me. Do you mind not leaning your seat back? I'm tall. She said, oh, sure. I tapped her on the shoulder and said, excuse me, do you mind not leaning your seat back? I'm tall. She said, oh, sure, I'm sorry, and leaned her seat back up straight away. It is important to know that I stand at 5'9", so you don't actually have to be tall for this to work.

Yeah, but 5'9", what are you doing? Why can't they lean the seat back? He doesn't like it. He doesn't like it. Taylor doesn't like it. 5'9", what are you doing? Why can't they lean the seat back? He doesn't like it. He doesn't like it. Taylor doesn't like it. 5'9". 5'9 is average, right? I mean, that's average height.

Yeah, I'm 5'11". Yeah. And I think me and Taylor could both lean our seats back. I almost started asking people to lean it back. Think about that. How much of a, hey, you mind? I'm 5'11". Do you mind leaning that seat back?

That's probably a good way to get them never to do it. Yeah. Yeah. They go, why? I don't know. You'll see. You have beautiful hair. Yeah.

Hey, would you mind leaning your seat back? Man or woman in front of you. Just saying. You have beautiful hair. I'd love, would you mind leaning your seat back? Man or woman in front of you. Just saying. You have beautiful hair. I'd love to get a better whiff of it. Do you mind leaning that seat back

a little bit farther? That's what they should do. That's how you get them not. Nah, I mean, I've got to work on this. You can work from laying down, dude. What are you talking about? What's the matter with you, man?

Lean your seat back. Come on. Wow, that's hilarious I'm trying to push mine forward You lean yours back Yeah Torin Shanta I had a buddy one time

Taking a trip home On a mega bus Super cheap Long distance bus service About 30 minutes Outside of Chicago A hawk Flew through the windshield

Shattering it They pull over And radio dispatch Only to find out It'll be two hours before they can send another bus. The driver gets onto the intercom and says, Okay, our options are either to wait for another bus or drive without a windshield. We're going to take a vote. By a narrow margin, drive without a windshield won. Unbelievable. That's what I'm talking about. That's a windshield, one. Unbelievable.

That's what I'm talking about. That's what these pilots don't do. Be like a megabus. Dude, that's great. We're going to take a vote. I'm a confident driver. I don't need a windshield. But if you're uncomfortable driving down the interstate,

especially as you know for sure, your hawks are flying into the windshield. Right. So it's not like you're going, well, what if a bird hits us? Birds are hitting. That's going to happen. If you can handle a hawk going 100-something miles an hour, 200 miles, they're fast. Right. Coming through.

Nothing's stopping it. That could happen, but I'll get us there. I love the idea of the Megabus driver calling their supervisor and go, what do you do? And they go, I don't know, just let the passengers vote. Take a vote. See what they want to do. We have no protocol for this. Dude, that's why the planes are not doing...

Learn something from that. Yeah. You know, the 11 hours, that bus, he ain't going to be on the side of the interstate for 11 hours. You don't hear that story. I mean, maybe they break down. I mean, look, people also get murdered on buses. There's a lot of stuff that happens.

You know what's not going to happen is the passengers aren't going to join together and sue Megabus. They know that's not on the table. You're thankful you have your life after megabus right and i mean that's oh man that's so that's so good take a vote and imagine the people that you know there's people that voted no right yeah that are just going i said probably the driver i can't believe we're doing this. I think the driver's like, look, I don't care. There's been holes in this windshield.

I mean, the driver would just say no if he didn't want to do it. So he's like, I'll do whatever you guys want to do. Yeah. Just bundles up. But if another one comes through, it's hitting him. Yeah. Man. I i mean that's awesome they got back oh they tipped that guy do you tip the megabus driver i do after that i think so yeah you're right i mean that's not you know that's like when people ask do you you tip them? And you're like, I don't know, maybe. He drove without a windshield.

Yeah. For two hours or whatever. 30 minutes outside of Chicago. I mean, that's unreal, dude. Just be two hours, like, nah, I'll get us back. We're all right. Take a vote. Megabus is very popular bus service for comics.

Yeah. It's so cheap. Yeah. You can get from like Nashville to Atlanta for like next to nothing. Yeah, like $5. Yeah, something crazy. Sometimes a dollar.

There was a bus in New York that was a dollar from there to Boston. A dollar? A dollar. How did they make any money? I don't know, man. I mean, I think it's something else is going on. I don't know if they're making money. They got some side business. I'll be honest with you. I don't know if you mean, I think something else is going on. I don't know if they're making money.

I don't know. And I'll be honest with you. I don't know if you want to be on a bus for people that are only willing to pay a dollar. Right. That's, you know, there's a lot that goes on. It's like kids. It's either kids or just insane people. Kids are allowed on these buses?

Well, like college kids. I was wondering if those children get to vote on whether they get to drive with that windshield. Yeah, I would assume they could. Do the kids vote counts for them? It depends on which way it sways it. I would want to know which way it's swaying it. I would know if I want to go keep driving and then I'm like these four

dumb kids are going to vote this out. I don't think their votes should count. But if maybe they're voting the way I want them to vote, I would argue for the kids. Yeah. You know.

Well, they get a say. It's an eight-year-old. They get a say. You know what they get a say? All right. Thanks for everybody listening. All right. This week we are, you know what they get a say? All right. Thanks for everybody listening. All right. This week, we are, you know, it's a big week.

This week. Make sure Holly's not behind me. We have Christmas. That's the big week. It's a big deal. When is it? This Friday? This week.

Yeah. It's this Friday. A lot's happening uh christmas is a very i'm a big fan of christmas uh i try to think it's my favorite holiday i like halloween a lot but i do like christmas they're both great halloween's fun i like halloween just until i'm sure when harper stops wanting to dress up I won't care as much about Halloween. You can enjoy it through your kids. Yeah, I think that's why Thanksgiving becomes – I feel like once your kids get older, you love Thanksgiving

because it's more everybody just gets – the whole family gets together. Yeah. And so you like that. But, yeah, it's like favorite holidays really for your kids. And so I would say it's Christmas, Halloween. Christmas is probably a little bit above it, maybe. Halloween's very fun, though. Seeing what they're going to dress at.

You go walk around the neighborhood, trick-or-treating. It's a good time. But Christmas is pretty, pretty great. And we've got a lot of stuff going on. You got, you know, we went and saw Santa Claus yesterday at the mall. Couldn't get close. He wears a mask. You know, Harper, so she just has to shout what she wants.

At Santa, and you'd make a reservation, but he was there. Very good Santa. We had an elf. So we have, as a lot of parents know, elf on the shelf is a big deal. Do you know anything about elf on the shelf? No, I never had it in my house growing up. I don't think we did as kids. I think elf on the shelf came along later.

Did you have it? No. Did you have a wood shelf? A wood elf? Did y'all just have a shoe or something? That's the old way, y'all. You have a shoe with hay in it a candle uh there so we have uh alfie is the rlf that flies around and you might notice alfie made it into the podcast

room apparently last night i thought i shut the door to keep alfie out I'm not happy about it. And Alfie has a support animal. What is it? Is that what, what are they called? Emotional support animals? Emotional support animal. Alfie has one. It's been a tough year for him.

What is that? It's a, it's a dog, right? It looks like a dog. It's a little stuffy. Alfie, it's kind of ridiculous.

Alfie takes this. I'm not happy with it. I don't think Alfie should be doing that. Is Alfie a pirate? Alfie's in a pirate costume right now. It's a girl. And Alfie's in a pirate costume right now. She has this stuffy.

She wakes up every day and we don't know where she's going to be. It's insane that she drinks stuff. I don't care for it and then because halfie makes messes yeah a lot of a lot of a lot of kids elf on the shelves they make a ton of messes and halfie makes a mess and uh right when she when she comes the first day she comes it's always a wreck she wrote on the window it's insane it's just you just we need her to get back, you know? And so she made it in here. But it's a fun time.

And that's what, like, fun, you know, Harper wakes up every morning and has to find Alfie. And then, so it's an exciting, exciting time. I always loved Christmas growing up as a kid. We had some really good Christmases. Our biggest, my biggest, our biggest Christmas as a a kid we got a snake oh nice it was i always wanted a snake we had a red-tailed boa i don't i don't like love snakes i mean i love i've always been kind of obsessed with snakes and i like snakes and but as older i've gotten i've become less like i'm gonna go catch them or i'm like i'm not i'm kind of over all that like i do like

going to see them at the zoo it's always the exhibit i like to go to uh i like to end on it like right before we leave i'm like let's go check the snakes out no you end on them i usually end on them uh if i go alone yeah i think i still do i use it say the best for last yeah and then uh i've never heard anybody thinking that's the best exhibit. That's usually just like some janitor's shed with a couple. Where they go. A couple of aquariums in there. Yeah.

Yeah. Put the snakes there. Yeah, there's some crazy snakes in there, dude. You don't care about the monkeys or the lions. It's like, no. No, I go see. I do care about that. Let's get in that un-air conditioned shed.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The vending machines in there. COVID thrives in those places uh i mean it's like that's why we can't get rid of coven because all the snake aquariums it's uh yeah it's great i love yeah the snout of the snake stuff and then uh i like the lions tigers all that stuff bears yeah you guys see that I'm not saying I'm not a fan.

Monkeys I enjoy. I'm not going to spend a ton of time. I don't know. How much time do you spend at the monkeys? I mean, they're doing stuff. I don't know if I've ever seen a snake move at a zoo. It's just like, oh, I guess that's there. Don't you want to say, I mean, it's kind of crazy how big the snake is.

I guess if you don't care about snakes. I don't you want to say i mean it's kind of crazy how big the snake is i guess if you're not you don't care about snakes i don't yeah go ahead the nashville zoo in the bathrooms they have yeah that's crazy above the urinal above the urinal first time i went in there what yeah yeah first time you go in there it kind of makes you you don't realize it you don't go that first time yeah well you i mean you come out and so i went in there i remember the first time and you start peeing and you just look up. And I mean, it's just boom, right there. It's in a display. It's not just hanging on the handle.

Live snakes? A real snake, yeah. See, that's how little they care. They just toss them in the bathroom now? No, it's kind of cool. Everybody goes in there and wants to see it. Everybody wants to see the snake. Snakes are bigger drawl than you think they are.

Okay. I didn't know that's hilarious monkeys they just throw up in the middle as you keep passing because you're just like you know you're like i don't want to waste time for the monkeys throw the monkeys in the back corner see if people will make their way back there you're not good i think the monkeys are the main the monkeys are in the middle because they're like no one's going to search out the monkeys, but they're like, I'll walk by them multiple times, but I'm not going to- Looking for other stuff. Yeah.

Walk past them. If we get lost, we'll meet at the monkeys. That's what the monkeys are there for. He's not talking about the apes, like orangutans or chimpanzees. I think those are big draws. Yeah. Like a gorilla? That's a big draw. Yeah. We went to- we went in uh where did we go to the zoo we went to the one in cincinnati right the harambe one

yes is that the one where we went to columbus columbus yes we went to the columbus it's a big one which is a yeah one of the bigger one of the more famous ones and they uh and we know some people there so we got it as we got to meet, so we got to meet some cheetahs. We got to pet some cheetahs and stuff like that. And the gorilla there, though, would eat its own, you know, poop. It's better than what he saw at the Arkansas Zoo. Yeah. I went to find – that's the point I saw.

I went to find that's the point i saw i went to find the monkeys i don't walk into the the little rock zoo and go where are they keeping the ball pythons maybe we go check the bathroom maybe they're above the urinal they might be probably more of a little rock zoo they probably don't even know that they're in the bathroom in a trough a dark little rock is it more of a trough than a urinal? I did. I remember. And then you go in there, there's a snake in the bathroom. He goes, yeah, he's in here somewhere.

I don't know. They don't ever really know where it's at. What did you see at the Little Rock Zoo? I saw, I think we talked about this, just trash all in the exhibits. Oh, yeah. And I saw a gorilla eating a cardboard box. Yeah. And the penguins.

This is the king of the jungle. And the penguins. That's where I saw the penguins. a cardboard box. Yeah. And the penguins. This is the king of the jungle. And the penguins. That's where I saw the penguins. The penguins. Yeah. And then, yes. So, well, I mean, the Columbus Zoo, I mean, that's not worse than eating its own poop, a cardboard box.

I think it's worse. I mean, I think it's worse to eat a cardboard box, man. You think seeing that is like, if you saw me in the car you're it's a dumb animal you don't go i don't know dude they're eating i mean holly our dog eats dumb stuff they eat them i mean it poops and then right in its mouth but you just you go into it knowing that's what that's what monkeys do that's part of their i didn't know that they stick i didn't know that they did that you knew that they eat it i figured they might i mean things get wild out there man you know why they eat it why there's nutritional value in it right

it's for uh so they like don't get preyed upon because so they don't want there is i guess some nutritional but i'm sure there's nutrition you drink your own urine and someone's gonna be like well you know it's got a vitamin f in it you're're like, ah, it doesn't. Maybe I'll try doing it. But they do it so the animals don't know where, because if they just pooped everywhere, then lions and tigers could start tracking them down. Cheaters. Okay, why don't they just bury it?

They have to eat it, huh? I don't know if we're dealing with complete logic here. Well, if you eat it, then you're're gonna have to deal with it again pretty soon you know i think they got a pretty good system i mean i think if you buried it they could you know it's a whole thing and i bet you could still you know how far down you got to go i think you got to dig pretty deep would you rather just eat it or just would you always constantly want to be burying i'd rather do whatever the other option is i think i think eating is your last resort yeah but if you have to i mean digging like it's a whole you know i gotta go to the bathroom and then you're like else you wear back you're like yeah go to the bathroom it'll take five minutes the digging the

ditch i gotta dig afterwards is gonna be. It'd seem like they could just throw it somewhere. And run. Yeah. It'd be like, go away. Yeah. And do it. Just throw it off that little island. Yeah. Just throw it out into the... Yeah.

Maybe we'll try to ask them one day. Don't we have someone, we have a human talking to them? Don't we have someone talking to them? Oh, to the monkeys? Yeah, to the gorillas. Jane Goodall? Why don't we ask her that?

There's no Jane Goodall for snakes, I'll tell you that much, because people don't care enough. You don't talk to a snake. Snakes got it all figured out. Snakes not doing any weird stuff. You go to see a snake. If I take my daughter to a snake, I'm like, this is what they are. They do what they do.

Yeah. I take her to a gorilla. I'm like, I don't know what's about to happen. This might be an R-rated show we might walk in. Like it's a, you know, you got to, I, we go to the gorillas, they go, let me go in first. Let me make sure. Everybody's decent. Yeah.

Everybody's decent. These gorillas are not, are being level-headed. I don't know what's happening. And then you go walk out and go, we can't. Yeah. We'll try it again later. Not today. What's going on? You can't, you don't even want't know what's happening. And then you go walk out and go, we can't. Yeah. We'll try it again later. Not today. What's going on?

You can't. You don't even want to know what's going on. I don't even want to see what I saw. Are they eating their poop? I wish they were. That's what I wish. That's all I could tell you that they're doing. The gorillas are the X-rated.

Shouldn't be allowed in the zoo, to be honest. That's fair, man. So Christmas. Merry Christmas, everybody. How did your parents present the snake to you as a gift? They. So I wanted one, and it was like a good year for us. Like, we made money.

Or my dad, they made some money. I do a joke about it now. My parents were, I was like 22, or my parents were 22, 23 when I was born. So they were the poorest human beings alive. And so my dad had a bunch of shows on Christmas that year during December, and, like, actually made some money. So we got a better Christmas than normal normal and so i wanted a snake and my dad went and bought the snake from uh a guy you know a guy that sells snakes and he said him and wayne didn't our

family friend like the dentons and so him and wayne go to buy this i found this afterwards and so they go buy the snake and uh they said they walk in the house and the dude has snakes just out like snakes are hanging over the door frames and they're just everywhere it's basically like you want one like the guys like he's saying it like he's selling candy at a counter and just like here you go so my dad buys it and they drove back it was cold so he had to put it my dad had put it in his shirt and like keep it against his body because it was cold so he had to put it my dad had put it in his shirt and like keep it against his body because it was so cold and so they drove back my brother was getting a hamster it's kind of for that year it was i was probably 12 so derrick was probably nine eight nine and so he's getting a hamster and so they had a big aquarium set up in the uh into our bedroom and i was very excited

i think i felt something i was going to get something that year and so in the middle of the night i kind of you know you're barely sleeping just so excited but my dad came put the hamster in the aquarium like just trying to i think he felt i was know what's going to happen and he's trying to just like think oh the hamster is all i was going to get in that and then so then the next day we got up and then we got it and uh there were so we had the red tail boa my dad used to always take it out in the front yard and like let it almost like let it walk but you just let it play out in the yard you told us he's played tricks on people yeah he'd walk up and kid

walked by he's like okay what kind of snake is that i mean it's like a four foot red tail boa uh so you just let it out in the yard and uh and then we would you know you had to feed it mice and you'd put live mice in there and uh you do frozen or live we put live and one got have i talked about this or i've talked about this on here. You talked about some of that. Yeah. One mouse was pretty smart, and there was like a towel in there, and it hid behind the towel so the snake didn't know where it was. And so my dad had to reach in there and get the towel,

and it did. It just struck my dad's hand. It didn't really bite him. It just hid it, almost like it could tell that it wasn't the mouse. But, I mean, they just move it like any horses. They just move it. Snakes don't have great eyesight, so they just kind of move. I mean, if you moved near the cage or the aquarium, the glass,

and the snake was in there hunting, I mean, it would strike at the glass because it just, you know, it's on edge. Yeah. I feel like you should just let you should let the mouse live if it's just able to find a way to survive yeah in that scenario you've kind of earned it man well yeah i don't know what you what you do with them but if they outsmart the snake yeah that's impressive well we kill the snake and now it's the mouse's now the mouse yeah and then we just keep putting different animals in

there and whichever one survives then we would move the other one out and that's how we did it for a long time yeah you know and uh so that's yeah yeah we had it for a while and it was it was like we're gonna get to start we have to start feeding the rabbits and we're like all right that was like you gotta go buy like a 40 rabbit to for it to eat and you're you're i mean you're just throwing like you know it's like too much yeah that's a lot and then we and then uh they sold it we let it go i was gonna say how did it get rid of uh we let it go in a park and it's doing good no no they we gave either sold it or gave it to someone sold it to acido acido yeah so did acidu rivardo but did you have it like for years or months or what do you remember

we had it a few years i think wow or yeah a year a couple years maybe something like that i don't really remember uh but had it for a little bit i mean they get big quick yeah and so red tail bowers are the ones you always see it like you got a pet smart those those are usually for sale there but that was a big christmas the red tail bow yeah i like you asked how it was presented i was just imagining if your dad had just wrapped it yeah just loose like not even in a cage yeah just not even in a box just wrapped around the actual snake what is this a garden hose don is this, a garden hose? Y'all want me a garden hose? Yeah, be careful opening that. Yeah, yeah.

It's a delicate garden hose. No, I think it was just they brought it out, and then we got it. Yeah, it was crazy to have a snake. Were y'all a Christmas morning family as far as gifts? Yeah, so you'd get up and then uh what we do what happens here santa brings three presents that are unwrapped and uh those are all from santa then you know and then santa brings different you know i had friends that santa would bring

all their stuff it's kind of you know whatever the parents say they're so in ours and we do it here at our house three presents unwrapped and then the rest are from all of us. Is that what y'all do? Yeah, we were Christmas morning as far as gifts. We would get a play with what Santa got us. On Christmas Eve? No. People open presents on Christmas Eve?

I think that used to be a big tradition. That's how my mom's family did it. What? My mom's family, Santa would come Christmas Eve night. big tradition that's how my mom's family did it my mom said santa would come christmas eve night so when they heard santa coming they'd all go into a bedroom and close the door and then they'd hear santa come yeah and then they'd come out and open all the gifts right then that's how my mom's family always did it that's crazy yeah i've never even heard of that yeah i think my parents that's how they did it too growing up yeah is that y Yeah? So y'all didn't have electricity?

Were y'all excited when y'all got electricity the first time? Is that because you had to get up and feed the horses the next day? What are y'all? I've never heard this at all. I think my grandfather on my mom's side was a first-generation immigrant. I think it might have been how they did it in Eastern Europe. In the old country? In the old country, yeah.

I think that might have been how they did it in Eastern Europe. In the old country? In the old country, yeah. I think that might have been how Santa did it. You're that close to somewhere else, not America? I guess so. I think my grandfather came from Yugoslavia when he was a kid. He came to Omaha, Nebraska. You spiraled off quick. You'd think you'd have a little touch of something. You know what I mean?

You acclimated. Yeah, I mean, you dove in. Look, I figured it out real quick. You'd think you'd have a little touch of something. You know what I mean? You acclimated. Yeah, I mean, you dove in, dude. Look, I figured it out real quick. Yeah, dude. I mean, just to be your grandfather came over, and then you're like, yeah. Maybe he came. Maybe he was born here. I don't know.

I don't know what's going on. I think you've got to be a little bit farther. I mean, I'm a little removed, and it comes off as that. Yeah. I don't think his family's ever not been here. And then breakfast is getting his whole family. and it comes off as that. I don't think his family's ever not been here. And then Breakfast has been his whole family. Just from the beginning.

Just the beginning. It was with the Native Americans and the Breakfast family was here. And they just... I would imagine you seem like you're... Now that I look at you, maybe you got a little... I got a little Yugoslavian in you.

You got something. You can see it. You got a little something that you're throwing me off. I do. And then, you know, if I saw you on Christmas Day and you're like, oh, Santa came last night, I'd be like, yeah, he's got something up with him. All right. You had to fight your father before you opened the presents? Is that how you got to him would your dad then stand in front of the presents and

each one of you had to fight him there's a bear on a unicycle who would hand him the kiss yeah just some weird eastern europe stuff yeah yeah i don't so my mom's family did that but our family growing up we got to open one gift the night before we do that we but we usually do a game like it's a and we all would play it okay but would y'all go to midnight mass we when the kids got older we would go to midnight mass yeah but growing up we were morning of or early christmas eve mass yeah my parents are going to mass is just catholic right so my parents were raised catholic and then we were raised baptist and then so my parents go to i think they might do some mass now but we never did that yeah uh but we would do christmas would um we'd get a play in

the morning we got to play with uh the three presents that santa brought that were opened then we'd eat breakfast and then we'd open the rest of the presents, you know, like 10, 11, 12. And then so you'd be done. But we did have people that were, I mean, they'd wake up, and I mean, it would be 6 a.m. They're already through Christmas, which I thought was early until you guys were done the night before.

That seems insane to me. I've never heard that at all. So what would you do Christmas day? I'm not sure. I never did. That was just what my mom's family did. So they'd wake up and go to mass, I'm sure, in the morning. But they'd open all the gifts the night before because that's when Santa came.

And every kid listening to this podcast is like, we should be doing that. I know. They're going to be like, let's, you know, let's just do it now. Right. Get everything early.

Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. Now, how did you guys, I'm curious, how did you guys open gifts? Was it a free for all,

or was there some structure to it? Or how did that, how did that go? I think we had structure where you would each, each kid's turn. You go one by one. And the parents are, and the parents are maybe the parents are not really you know remember my parents i mean i know now like you don't you end

up now we because now we're have we go to like laura's family and then uh my family usually comes and spends the night to one night and then we wake up the next day and open presents and we each the kids go the The kids take turns. And then the parents always end up having a few. But by the time we open our stuff, no one cares. But yeah, I think we did it in order. Is that how y'all would do it, Brian? I don't remember as a kid.

Maybe we did. I feel like we just kind of dove in and went for it. You had to get it done before sundown, though, right? The Christmas story, it always bothered me. The Christmas story, they wake up Christmas morning, and they're just going at it. You had to get it done before sundown. The Christmas story, it always bothered me. The Christmas story, they wake up Christmas morning, and they're just going at it. And I'm like, man, there's just anarchy in this family. Yeah, should have been doing it the night before.

And so, I mean, anarchy. You've come from a family that opens up the night before, and I'm sorry we don't open them properly like you guys do three weeks before Christmas. Let's go one by one. Let's examine all the gifts. Let's thank all the appropriate people. It's just chaos in this living room. Come on now.

Yeah, they go nuts. I think maybe people like the chaos, is that you're just tearing them. But did Santa wrap your presents? Yeah. Our Santa presents were not wrapped wrapped so there was no i bet that breakfast wasn't very disciplined you get a taste of gifts and you gotta stop eat and then go back to it well she would yeah she would make uh yeah i mean you want you're just dying to open those presents but santa brings some pretty awesome presents so you're you know it almost makes you play with the Santa, you know, because you can get a kid anything and they just want what's next.

And then so, yeah. This Christmas Eve thing is crazy. I've never even heard that that would be a thing. You had heard of that too? Oh, yeah. Okay. I think it's an older tradition, but I think they used to be. I've never even heard that that would be a thing but you had heard of that too oh yeah okay i think it's an older tradition but i think they used to be heard of it as older i mean like that's like what's the point of christmas day then just to be with your family i think yeah i think maybe it's my i'm gonna google this in a second but my thinking is it's it's santa claus comes christmas eve and then christmas is just the religious holiday yeah it's like yeah you know christ being born yeah maybe santa just

comes the night before to let you have the whole day be about that yeah yeah huh i was thinking it was maybe or your family exchanged you do it christmas eve and then santa still comes and then christmas morning yeah maybe you still do those what's one of the like when did uh all this stuff get started more recently than i would have thought i mean most 65 well not quite that recent but i mean some of the stuff happened in less than 100 years ago that yeah very much christmas condition even even santa as we as we think of him a lot of it just happened you know last century like uh store santa's and stuff like that that was just a they had to display and it really took off some store in philadelphia and then they're like oh what if we had a just somebody else saying yeah yeah and then it just took up this is like the 1940s or something

yeah wow very very recent so chris i didn't even you guys may know this christmas the word christmas do you know what that maybe i've thought about the way that means uh i don't know christ mass yeah because more christ oh like spanish well i guess so all right uh they said agree to disagree right no it's just a joke yeah yeah it was oh i thought you were serious yeah i was like i guess i missed something i mean yeah it was better as a serious comment than a joke yeah let's say i said it seriously yeah Yeah, well, get it out. This is the place to try it. Okay. You know? So it used to be celebrated. Most of these traditions are either,

I'll have a religious example or a secular example of how these things started. Yeah. This is right up my alley. Secular. Oh, that's what we talked about as we opened presents the day after Thanksgiving. Christmas being...

Santa came on Black Friday. Yeah. Christmas being celebrated on December 25th didn't happen until, you know, didn't happen for a while. But then the reasons, there's two reasons given this. Either some say it's because there were some secular holidays. They're already on December 25th, so they wanted to spice it up with some religious holidays. But religious people, some believe that Mary conceived nine months before Christmas on March 25th, and therefore they made December 25th the day they think Jesus was born.

But there's no mention of whenesus was born in the bible yeah isn't it supposedly you know the people just think it's july right i always i've heard i've heard some people think spring or summer they weren't using a gregorian calendar back then no yeah so who knows what timing no so would y'all use a gregorian calendar too would y'all do that a lot? That's the calendar that we all use, the Gregorian calendar, right? But would you, with those words, I mean, I just would love to be that. Like you bring your girlfriend over like from high school and you go, my family, it's great. Thanks for coming.

And then it's, you know, it's like, hey, how you doing? What's your favorite secular holiday? You know, on the Gregorian calendar, obviously. And then the girl's like, what? That's the, what's your favorite secular holiday? You know, on the Gregorian calendar, obviously. And then the little, the girl's like, what? That's the word y'all, you guys are gonna,

you just run her off. And then your Russian grandfather comes barreling in, chopping on a hat. And she's like, I thought you were like from Alabama. It's like, it's like, nah,

it's my, that's my peep off. That comes, has been chopping wood. you were like from Alabama. It's like, it's like, nah, it's my, that's my peep off. Comes has been chopping wood. Came over about two months ago. Yeah. Is that what happened? I think so.

About ballparking. What's going on? That's pretty good. That's fair. Yeah. Oh man. Um, poinsettias came from a guy named John r poinsett oh yeah did he invent the flower

he brought him back from mexico and they'd never seen it before and so they started calling them poinsettias i mean that guy really tricked everybody into i mean he's a flower that's already existing that's called something else what are they called i don't know dude he's taken over that's so unbelievable what should we call him just name him after the guy yeah poinsettias and he came over there is something else they got a different name he didn't invent plants maybe in mexico where he brought it back from they still call it what they used to call it. I know. That's what I was saying.

Like, what's the... Yeah. John Roberts Poinsett, the first state minister to Mexico, who's credited with introducing the plant to the US in the 1820s. Hey, guys, I have this plant I'd like you to meet. And they're like, I don't want to meet any other plants. We have a lot of plants. Yeah, we're good on plants over here, dude.

Well, this plant's called the poinsettia. He that's funny what'd you say your name was uh i don't know why that matters because i know but just say your name i forgot what you said your name is joel roberts poinsettia so you're bringing us a plant that's named just like your last name is like it just it's convenient more than did you change your last name because of the plant that's what you could think he goes all right all right i married the plant while i was over in mexico you can do that kind of stuff down there that's crazy 70 million poinsettias poinsettias of that's a word I got to think about before I dive into it. I can't just breeze over it. Many cultivated varieties

are sold in a six-week period. So it's just a seed. Nobody cares about these plants. They're often stated to be... They're highly toxic. But it's not dangerous to pets or children. So gorillas should not eat them.

Yeah. Hold on. Though often stated to be highly toxic, the poinsettia is not dangerous to pets or children. Exposure to the plant, even consumption, most often results in no effect, though

it can cause nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea. Usually nothing happens but nothing happens you know you'll be all right you can eat it but it does sometimes i'm guessing if you're eating a poinsettia plant you probably got some other dietary problems you know so maybe that causes that's true that's why you're having that he's like is you think the plant did it i mean it's a part of the system that's making where we're at is yeah yeah i'm not gonna say if someone goes what happened i'm not gonna not mention poinsettia but i'm also gonna quietly talk about just your state of mind is the main thing i would talk about you're eating yeah poinsettia diarrhea least of your concerns right now yeah yeah i just ate poinsettia plants. Diarrhea, least to your concerns. Yeah, I just ate

poinsettia plants and now I have diarrhea. The plants have nothing to do with this. Don't ruin Joel Roberts poinsettia. I like that he had the A to it. You think he thought they wouldn't notice?

No. It's just a coincidence. No, it's just crazy. That's why I like the plant so much because I was like, what are the odds? What are the odds? So we all know Santa Claus lives at the North Pole. Yep. Been there for a while, but he got his start, supposedly, working at a church in modern-day Turkey in the 300s.

Went by St. Nicholas. One night he was walking through town, heard some villagers discussing a family problem. They didn't have enough money and they were in dire need. He wanted to help them out, but knew that they wouldn't take it because they were proud people. So instead one night he slid down the chimney of this house

and they had their stockings drying by the fireplace and he put gold coins in each stocking to help this family out and then he was just very well known for giving away all his inherited wealth and traveling the countryside helping out the poor and sick so christmas got started from putting money in people's underwear basically that they had to dry over a fire. Yeah. Santa, a bit of a creep. People don't talk about that, but the way he started.

Went down the chimney. Yep. Interesting. Snuck in the house. See, that's what I was always taught is that Santa Claus is Saint Nick. Yeah. Yeah. Right?

Saint Nicholas. Right. Saint Nicholas. Right. Yep. So Santa Claus. I thought it was the guy from Ireland, though, that got rid of all the snakes on Ireland. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. You thought that was Santa Claus? I know the idea. I thought that was St. Nick, right? That was St. Nick. I didn't know it was a different St. Nick in Turkey. Yeah. Well, that one sounds like where we're at today sounds like that story right that does

that does sound more like the santa we know yeah the santa we know versus if i have to you know how did santa get started well he's kind of freaked out about snakes and got rid of them on an entire country and they're like all right well how do we get where we're at now because of that that's where you thought it all came from just a guy that didn't care do you ever do And they're like, all right, well, how do we get where we're at now because of that? That's where you thought it all came from? Just a guy that didn't care? Did you ever do St. Nicholas Day? We did that growing up. It was like December 7th.

Did you ever do St. Nicholas Day? No. St. Nick Day. We'd leave our shoes outside of our bedroom, and Santa would come and leave candy in our shoes. That was like December 5th or December 7th. I think it's a Catholic thing. But it's St. Nick Day. I think it's a Weber family thing.

I think it's pretty. I think there's a lot of Weber family things we're getting into. I think it's pretty common, man. St. Nick Day, they leave candy in your shoes. So he'd come and just kind of. We would celebrate Boxing Day, but that's about it. And don't be ridiculous, Aaron. I text my buddy Graham K. Happy Boxing Day. Every Boxing Day, but that's about it. Don't be ridiculous, Aaron. I text my buddy Graham K.

Happy Boxing Day. Every Boxing Day. I enjoy it. Yeah. So we haven't seen Santa Claus, of course. So we guessed his look. So a couple people helped kind of put together the modern day look.

The guy who wrote The Night Before Christmas, that poem, he described Santa Claus, and that's kind of how a lot of his look came about. And then a cartoon appeared in Harper's Weekly depicting Santa as overweight, cheerful, with a full white beard. So that's kind of where we think he looks like. This is where we're at. Yeah.

All right. Yep. We have the guys that look like Santa all year. Yeah. All right. Yep. What about the guys that look like Santa all year? Yeah. I mean, there's a bunch of old men that like they just, they want a beard. I'm sure there's got to be some guys out there that are like, I'm, yeah, I'm a little hefty. My hair's white. I want a beard because I am a little overweight.

But I look like Santa all year. And I have to wear glasses. I mean, yeah. Yeah, I can't see. Just naturally, the Santa Claus, like you would, I would think for them, they would hope that Santa would just be a little something different. Because they walk around, yeah, and they just are going,

I mean, I'm wearing overalls going to Home Depot in July. And kids are like, are you Santa? And it's like, no, I just look like this. Yeah, I'm not happy about it. Not happy. Right. I would love to not look like Santa, but I'm stuck. There's different countries celebrate very different ways,

but Santa kind of looks the same in all these countries. Like in Austria, he has an evil accomplice called Krampus. And this guy, St. Nicholas, rewards the good boys and good girls, but Krampus is said to capture the naughtiest children and whisk them away in his sack. They're dead serious in Austria. Yeah. Look at Krampus. Well, that's Santa Claus. This is what Santa looks like in Austria. Yeah. Andria yeah and he looks terrifying dude yeah he's already scary and then what's

krampus i saw a picture of krampus and that there there he is right there in the middle there right there right there oh yeah that'll get you in the christmas spirit yeah right there i mean that's one of the scariest things i've ever seen yeah if you If you look up Krampus, I mean, that's so, and that's what they say, you know, that's the naughty list is that comes to you. This is in the first week of December, young men dress up as Krampus, frightening children. The naughty, you know, oh, did you cheat on your homework? Well, the devil is going to steal you from our family. I mean, talk about the fear.

Yeah, man. No wonder where they're at as a country. I mean, just, I don't even really know where they're at as a country, but I don't think it's. I think they're doing okay. Are they? I think they're all right. I watched Sound of Music last night.

That's Australia. It's not Australia. I mean, Austria. Yeah. That's what I mean. Well, the whole world was kind of struggling back then in World War II. The whole world was in a tough spot. Well, how do you think they got into the spot that they got into?

Because of that. If you're going to pick a country that's going to do something like that i'm not saying they're not doing great now yeah i'm sure we have people listening in austria and i bet it's wonderful now they've they've turned things around but for you to get to a point to where that happens as a country i would look at crampus clompus or crampus crampus i would look at crampus. Klompas or Krampus? Krampus. I would look at Krampus as going, how did we get there? Maybe we made the children too nervous. If they did anything wrong, something that looks worse than what we imagine the devil looks like, steals them from our houses, and we never see them again.

steals them from our houses and we never see them again. Yeah, here's a picture with Krampus with kids in his little backpack. I mean, wow. I mean, that's just floating around out there. It's out there. Krampus is just, yeah, that's crazy. Here's another European one. In the Netherlands, Sinterklaas,

which is the Dutch version of Santa Claus, arrives from Spain instead of the North Pole. He has little helpers, but they're not elves. They're black-faced boys and girls who can steal your kids if they misbehave and bring them back to Spain, which, according to the Dutch, is a severe punishment. I mean, there's all kinds of problems.'s a lot of yeah i mean we're getting into i mean this is i didn't we can look into the we could solve the world we just really dive into christmas a little bit that's what's going on the netherlands i mean good

that is crazy all right we don't have to that's that's nuts, dude. In Japan, they're... And the fact that they're just trashing Spain. Your punishment is, do you want to go live in Spain? And Spain's like, I mean, we're doing fine. Yeah, we're doing all right. Yeah, we're doing all right. Better than Austria, I'll tell you that much. In Japan, the meal of choice on Christmas Day is Kentucky Fried Chicken. Oh.

It's like us. They wanted turkey, but turkeys aren't as prevalent, I guess. So they started off as a KFC Christmas dinner in Japan and it took off.

Now it's a Christmas tradition. I need to go to Japan. You know what? This could be good to know because I'll go to Japan for Christmas. Yeah. How fun is that?

Yeah. I love it. Yeah, I like that a lot all right there japan's got their bands got it going on a little level-headed back in you know like i always do kfc all right well there you go japan i don't want to tell you what's going on these other in norway people hide their brooms because the Christmas tradition is witches and evil spirits come out on Christmas Eve looking to ride a broom. So even today in Norway, people hide their brooms in the safest place in the house.

Where's the safest place to hide a broom? You know where they're not going to find it? Maybe you go broom closet because then you think the witches go, look in the broom closet they go look they're not gonna come on they're not that dumb this is a pretty big tradition don't waste it that's because i would think the witches go the younger witches go so check every

broom closet they go come on look at this it's the whole world knows that this is happening you think you think they're gonna leave the brooms in the broom closet no you don't have a ton of time so don't even search the broom closet right go check the shower they might put them in the shower that night right you'd be shocked how many people probably put one in a broom in the shower i bet that's got to be the shower that's where where would you put it that's a great place to put it yeah i can't think of another spot sweeping water is no fun so you don't want to broom in a shower yeah that's a great yeah maybe tuck them behind the fridge you know i'm just thinking something that's vert yeah it'd be a certain height right yeah it's gonna set the house on fire yeah the electrical thing i don't think so

electrical thing with the broom straw back of the fridge i mean how many loose wires do you got behind your fridge man when's the last time you looked behind your fridge i don't think i've ever looked back there but i don't think it's just there you go how do you how many wires you don't know it's all just a bunch of exposed wires back there i think it's probably pretty tough you don't think that where was that what country was this norway hey that's all they have is exposed wires that's their their whole world is exposed wires they're yeah i moved uh i think i talked when i delivered refrigerators and moved one a lady had a dead cat back there. Yep. I mean, that's gross. Not really a fire hazard, but pretty gross. I'm just saying something killed that cat.

So be safe. Don't put your brooms behind the fridge. I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying you've been warned, man. I like to shower more than behind the fridge, and I hope that a witch finds yours immediately behind a fridge and then also lights your refrigerator on fire just to make a point. I hope you get there and you go, did the broom did it?

And the fireman goes, there was no broom back there. And you go, God, exactly. That's what I would hope the fire department shows up. And Krampus lights a cigarette off the fire and takes your children there. Takes your Kentucky Fried Chicken. Do they have multiple brooms in these? I'm just thinking. I got one broom.

I think it's all I need. You hide the one broom. That's all I need. Oh, it's just one? Yeah. It just takes one for a witch to show up. Okay. How does the witch get there without a broom?

The old-fashioned way, a long- On Christmas Eve. A bigger broom, they all ride like a bus. Yeah. It's like a mega bus, but it's a gigantic broom. And so then they all want to ride their own broom so they don't have to be- No windshield, dude. No windshield.

Yeah, no windshield. I mean, and talk about hawks are just decking people off these buses. I mean, these brooms. Just, oof. So you want to get your own broom to actually have some fun. Okay. That makes more sense. Yeah.

Does Harper track Santa? Yep. She wanted to last night. And if she grew up in Aaron's family, she could have, because Santa would already be pretty close to being here. But I don't think Santa's – I don't know if Santa's got going yet, or maybe. We didn't do it last night, but we're about to. Yeah, I didn't know it started before christmas eve but it starts a few days before

yeah i think yeah yeah i mean you can look now see if you can track him but yeah it's i mean he's started going because he starts he starts going you know like other countries i mean he's you know so that started by accident in 1955 a child accidentally dialed an unlisted phone number of the Continental Air Defense Command Operations Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Believed she was calling Santa Claus. The commander saw an opportunity, and

since then, NORAD's been tracking Santa Claus for kids to see where he's at. What? It's like the tracker's not live for a couple days. Yeah. Yeah, not yet. Santa Claus is coming. It starts in two days okay so uh what number do you have that's close enough to a calling santa claus she was trying to five five film filk filk filk i mean what are you yes is there a number like honestly is it like

eight four seven i don't know. It says she was trying to call a promotion in a local newspaper, but she still called the air defense. Talk about an air defense problem we have. Is that you're close enough to just a local radio ad. Hello? Yeah, this is air defense. This is one of our main things that protects us.

Oh. Am I the fifth caller, Bunny? I know the phrase that pays. Yeah. Yeah. I used to write Santa Claus letters when I was a kid. Yeah. Just put the North Pole on the.

Yeah, yeah. And they figure it out. Yeah. They get it there. Them and Wayne Gretzky. I always heard that you can write a letter to Wayne Gretzky to Canada and just put Wayne Gretzky, Canada, and it would get to his house. Really?

Because they knew... That's cool. They know where he's at. That's cool. I never heard that. Him and Santa. The only two that you could write their names, North Pole, Canada. They're showing up.

That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. That's a level of fame. Santa Claus. You don't even need an address, dude. You don't even need an address. You could give a mailman.

It's going to get through the post office system. Wayne Gretzky, everybody gets it. Yeah. Good for him. There's another guy, Wayne Gretzky, though, that hates it. That's the problem. That guy, he's like like i've never got letters if i get them they're just not you know people have a hard time getting letters to me it's like me and my google search of brian bates yeah just everybody but you yeah i mean i get one

of those alerts every day yeah and it's never once been me. Who is it? There's a few. There's one guy in Oklahoma City who calls himself the video vigilante. Yeah. And he's the most popular Brian Bates. But there's an author. There's a singer. I mean, every morning I just wake up reading about more successful Brian Bates.

I type in Brian Bates, and it comes up. Brian Bates comedian, and then Brian Bates wife. All right. Comes up. Well, Brian Bates author is what it says up there at the top. What's Brian Bates' wife. All right. Comes up. Well, Brian Bates' author is what it says up there at the top. What's Brian Bates the vigilante? He is a guy who goes around and exposes Johns that are pipping out women.

He's been on all the talk shows. I mean, he's got a ton of TV credits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brian Bates, born 1944. Accurate so far. Yeah, keep going. Is former chairman of psychology at the university of sussex yeah yeah that's good uh yeah i try to have i actually i just wanted to brian bates on the show and i went through so many of them and i finally the one guy that's like i'll do it

and here we are i called the other one it's a video vigilante i was like this guy's gonna bring something to the table he gets it you just landed on breakfast over here yeah bates investigates yeah brian bates is a yeah private investigator serving the investigative needs of individuals and businesses in a professional and discreet manner. He's won an Emmy. What? A Heartland Regional Emmy.

Well, I've won an Emmy. For his efforts to expose organized drug use. Brian, Breakfast has an Emmy. I do. How many Emmys? Just one? Just one. What's the story with your buddy with the Emmy?

My favorite story. Let me explain. I won an Emmy for Mid-South Regional News and he also was on that and so

there was, um, What was your Emmy for? the 1998 tornado that came through downtown Nashville and I was producing

the news at, uh, Channel 5. News Channel 5, so I won an Emmy for that. By the way, the day our weather podcast

Came out Yeah Where you were making fun Of my wind video The weather channel called me And said Can we use this video In a documentary

That we're doing About the Nashville tornado Oh really Yeah The dark The night wind Just the night They didn't describe it like that

Yeah But yeah Is that what they wanted They go We're doing a video on trains And this sounds like a train. We're just taking weird sounds. Well, the Weather Channel loves it.

But my buddy was nominated for an Emmy and they said, and he was nominated twice in the same category. Same category. There were four entries total. He was two of the four entries. They announced, all right, folks, they open it up. We have a tie. So they announced. Two of the four entries. They announce, all right, folks. They open it up. We have a tie. So they announce... It's two of the four.

Yeah. They announce the first guy. He goes up, makes his acceptance. And then they announce a second person, not him, who goes up and accepts.

So he was nominated twice. They had a tie. He still didn't win. He was nominated twice and he was the only two that didn't win. Yeah, the only two that didn't. Dude, how great is that?

That's hilarious i mean he's like all right his odds are better of winning when there's a tie and you're two of the four you're almost guaranteed yeah your your percentage of winning one is 99 at that point and then loses it's gonna sit there yeah he thinks about that every day i'm sure i would i would think about it every day it's a great story though it's probably the story you could argue is better than than just having one of the emmys yeah i mean you just we have a guy sitting here that won an emmy and oh yeah i'm more interested in the guy that didn't yeah and he has an emmy you just trashed that other Brian.

There's two Brian Brates we're talking about that has Emmys and you've made fun of both of them. You're right. I'm sorry. Highest grossing Christmas film of all time. Anybody want to guess? Die Hard. I would imagine.

I don't want to get in that argument. Christmas Die Hard. I don't know if they count Die hard, but it's not on here. It's like actual Christmas. Highest grossing Polar Express. That's a good guess. That's a great guess. I think it's on here.

So number one, Home Alone. And then it's followed by How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Dr. Seuss' The Grinch, and The Polar Express. Wow. The die hard Christmas thing. I'm so tired of that argument. by How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Dr. Seuss is the Grinch, and The Polar Express. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. The Die Hard Christmas thing, I'm so tired of that argument. You see that on,

like, it gets argued every, it feels like it's all the time. It's, yeah. I remember the first time it was argued, you're like, all right, that's fun. And now it's like,

all right, everybody quit it. Right. No one, I don't, I don't know. There's no decision being made on it. I don't know if There's no decision being made on it. I don't know. No one's really said anything, yes or no.

And so it just kind of gets to nowhere. And you're like, all right, dude, quit. And then you're just like, man, who cares? Yeah. Yeah. According to the National Retail Federation, consumers spend an average of $967 for Christmas. Average of $967 for Christmas.

Overall retail last year, $717 billion spent on Christmas. That would be more than that. No, no. That's a fun thing to say. That feels like a lot. I know. It means nothing to me. It seems like a fun time to say it. That would be way more than that. Wow. It's a recession. It was a tough year last year. It was a to me. It just seems like a fun time to say it. I thought it'd be way more than that.

Wow. It's a recession. I guess it was a tough year last year. Yeah, it was a tough year. I'm going to tell you, it was $18 billion. This year, spending's down. I don't know how they know this already. $805 on average people are spending on Christmas.

Yeah, they're making stuff up. No one knows any of this. I am almost positive any stat you hear is really made up it's based on nothing i bet if you went and started looking into the stats you could find out if we found out the guy who's the guy that wrote down 805? Who wrote who was the final? It's 805. And go, where did you get this? He's like I just kind of felt it out.

Yeah, I feel it. He goes, my parents are not spending a lot of money this year. I asked how much they're going to spend. I kind of went through it. I googled some stuff and now it's a stat that gets thrown around and we're like, can you believe it? There's just, how are you figuring that out? I'm guessing you just do surveys like they do any other thing like that.

I figured you just talk to stores and get a feeling for now how much the retail is spending. See, the fact is none of us even really know. That's what I mean. But do you think every stat? I think stats are. But they do. And they're the ones.

But they're the ones. Writing it off. Writing it off. But every stat is, I just, I'm very, stats are. You're going to love this one then. Yeah. Here we go. A Christmas card was invented that's so small it's invisible to the human eye.

In 2010, nanotechnologists at the University glasgow created a christmas card so small it could fit on the surface of a postage stamp 8276 times and on a regular size christmas card about a half a million times but you can't see it i mean this is what they're doing man yeah i mean you can't like this is what's pulling the country apart is stats stats are pulling the country apart because they are just saying whatever they want it's scientists just making stuff up because no one says it and then then people that do stats i got one right here dude i don't do you think i got one you bought me that for uh yeah oh wow how much was it one billion dollars uh everybody's just making stuff up dude that's what's happening where it's there's no there's i mean how do you you know i mean how do you have the nerve yeah

the nerve to walk out and go i made a there's a christmas card in this room oh yeah where is it oh i bet you can't find it why when the room's empty hide it or yeah the room's empty now it's right in front of your face i put it on your nose already i put five thousand on yeah because there's one on my nose right now he goes you remember when i touched your nose when you walked in yeah i put five thousand yeah you have them all over you and he starts just shaking his face he goes are they falling off he goes some of them some of them weren't he goes i don't know we're never gonna know you're just smearing them around dude yeah he goes now they're everywhere and you feel something in your eye yeah

it's 10 000 so it opened up like a like a real i don't know it doesn doesn't matter. Yeah, it did. Ask me. I did it. Ask me. Did it make a song when you opened it? Yeah, we did. One did Star Wars. We did the Star Wars theme as a Christmas thing. But it's so quiet, you can't hear it at all? No, obviously no. You can't hear it.

I mean, yeah. What colors do you think? Either red, red on the outside. Was it scented? Yeah. Yeah, we did a little scented uh strawberry yeah and poinsettia is there a message inside of it there's an actual poinsettia inside of it an actual real live poinsettia but you can eat it you wouldn't get sick but it's a real live

poinsettia is inside the car yeah yeah and then i gave it i guess that's amazing yeah i gave it all to my family for christmas yeah yeah the hardest part is you have to give actually a bigger card to fit it the card well just so they see something right and then they open it and i'll usually give them like oh you mail it yeah i mail it i mail an april fool's day card to throw them off and they're like it's april fool's day i would like a christmas card and i go well look down and they look down they go yeah see a easter bunny with the middle finger up and i go the christmas card's right on the easter bunny it's so small you can't see it no one can see it there's 10 000 of them i gave you 10 000 of them and you know i'm a scientist right and

then they go yeah yeah and he goes yeah and then they go all right all right man i appreciate it you know and you just go it's the smallest coral in the world i mean that's dude the audacity the audacity to just do that as a why is that guy not you know hey john can we get on cancer dude what are you doing what are you working on these days? Well, I'm trying to actually make the world smooth. I wonder if they have a picture of this thing, like microscopic. Yeah, I have an unprovable.

I'm kind of working on this unprovable thing. You might have to put in the word like nanotech or something, unless that's it. Yeah, I think this is it. This is a picture of an electron microscope. And it's got a picture of, I mean don't know what that that looks like a season's greetings it says season's politically correct yeah that's good didn't want to offend anybody with the world's smallest christmas card and no one can see it right it opens it does open i don't know how you open it. You want to go, wow, so no one can see with their eye.

So how do you see it? Is it, we'll put a microscope on it. Yeah, so why don't you just make it normal? Because otherwise it doesn't matter, right? You know what I mean? And he's like, I know, but it's fun to be like, well, there's one that you can't see. And they go, I know, but then how do we know it's real?

Why put a microscope on it? Again, here's where we're at why don't you just make it the size of the microscope and go here's the smallest one you can see instead of just being like you know i invented one that's made of air and you never know if it's around it smells like a toot sometimes you just if you that's what your uncle would say yeah i've been in one of those and then i was that hit on the tip of a pen uh yeah that's it man yeah there you go pretty hard it was to take that pic and what a waste of waste of resources college he went for a long time. A long time to college. Yeah. I mean, guy, yeah, probably got a scholarship.

Wasted scholarship. UK scientist. Creates world's smallest Christmas card. Oh, thanks. Yeah, no, it's cool, man. Yeah. England really paving the way, huh? Yeah.

I appreciate it, dude. Thanks for, yeah, that's good. How are we on smallpox? And he goes, I don't know. I mean, I'm still doing that stuff. But I thought I'd make this. So this says it's 200 million times smaller than the stamp. It smashes the previous world record.

And it's 10 times smaller than the previous attempt. So people are, I mean, this is like an arms race to make the smallest. I mean, we're just asking for the guy. You know what? I did it. What can we see it? Mine's so small.

Microscope won't pick it up. And then they go, is that true? And he goes, yeah, all you need is a guy that has a science degree yeah to go yeah it's so small no one can a microscope can't even pick it up oh do you have a picture of it i would love to have a picture of it but it's not as big as the y'all gotta get to work on these cameras yeah i would take a picture of it

if it was gigantic like the other ones were but mine's so small that you can't even get a picture of it oh you got a picture of theirs they're giant cards that they made it's bigger than adam yeah oh what's that over there is that billy's car he invented this loser mine's mine's out there they're everywhere so the opposite of something that small the christmas star from the bible the wise men followed uh speculation on what that might have been some say a supernova a comet some say it was jupiter and saturn lining up which happens today oh really wow yep today like i'd like to today today december 21st they were taping it's the first time in 800 years that it's visible. You can see this.

Oh, wow. I see Jupiter and Saturn every night. Yeah. I brought my telescope. Oh, really? So they're lined up. Oh, so you can see them right now? Right now.

Well, not once the sun goes down. Yeah. Yeah. So they're lined. So it's just one big. Yeah. So every night lately, they've been getting closer, closer, closer. And then today, they're supposed to be ducks one.

Jupiter and Saturn. Yeah, in line. I see Mars every night. Yep. Yeah. If I can see it, why couldn't a human be on it? Do all... Mars is...

I can see Mars. Right. I can't see this idiot's Christmas card that's on Earth, where I know humans are walking around. But I can see Mars, a place we apparently are not good enough to get to. We'll get there, man. Not with your attitude. You're right. What was your question?

I was going to ask if they all, if they ever all line up. Every planet? Yeah. I don't think a few of them care for each other. And there's just one. Who do you think doesn't like each other among the planets? I think Pluto doesn't know what's going on. Yeah. Yeah.

Pluto's always the one that's the funnest. I joke about Pluto. But it's back a planet now, right? It always goes back and forth. I can't keep up. Which is the joke. Which is my point of science. Yeah.

Is that we're just, you know, it's all just kind of make it can be whatever you want if a guy's charismatic i would like to hire a scientist that's just really charming yeah and i think he could if he sounds convince the world of anything anything anything yeah and you're like can we see your work we don't even understand the work but he's like can we see how did you get to this and he's like i don't know no one no one cares yeah i think if you well how did you figure that out he's like you know figured it out got you know he just has a bunch of scratch marks i don't want to bog you down with the details and you're like i uh yeah dude i don't want to be bogged i went into the lab and i performed science there's a couple of christmas songs that have just crushed records uh white christmas by ben

crosby is the world's best-selling single of all time over 50 million copies sold worldwide um it ranked number two in the greatest songs of the 20th century list behind judy garland's over the rainbow and then a much more recent one mariah carey's all i want for for Christmas is You is just crushing it. It's number one again this year. It came out 25 years ago, and it hits number one on the charts. I think last year was the first time in over 20 years it hit there, but now it's there again.

Every Christmas, she makes between $600,000 to $1 million in royalties alone from the song. Wow. That's how you do it. I wonder why. Was that song, was it in a movie? Was it in? Mariah do it. I wonder why. Was that song, was it in a movie? Was it in?

It's Mariah Carey. I understand that, but I'm saying why did that particular? It's probably, I know it was in Love Actually. It's Mariah Carey. Dude,

I know who Mariah Carey is. That's how. She's as big as a movie. But I'm saying why did that? She has other Christmas songs. Why don't people care about those? That's a good point.

You know more about music than I do, but from what I read, they think it's, music experts think it's a really good song. Yeah? I don't know. I mean, it's not a bad song. I'm just wondering why that one in particular.

Was it in Love Actually or something like that? No, I think it was in Air Buds 2. Oh. It broke the single day record for most Spotify streams. But Christmas Buds. You know Air Buds the movie? But it was in the Christmas Buds one most Spotify streams. But Christmas Buds. You know Air Buds the movie? But it was in the Christmas Buds one.

There was a Christmas Air Buds. Yeah, and they couldn't believe they got that song. That's what was so crazy is they go, are you serious? She asked to be put in that. She's a big fan of the franchise. Loves what they're doing.

Big animal fan. A few other holidays that fall at the same time, Hanukkah, which I just learned Jesus attended Hanukkah. Do you know that? Oh, were they celebrating Hanukkah back then? Yeah. Oh, okay. Hanukkah happened in between the Old Testament and the New Testament.

And so, yeah, Jesus went to Hanukkah. Feast of dedication. Kwanzaa. The guy who invented Kwanzaa is still alive. That's kind of crazy, right? Oh, I didn't know it was that recent. Yeah. Yeah.

In the 60s. It's like my dad invented it. I mean, what is Kwanzaa? That's the celebration of African-American culture. That's funny. Yeah. Just still, imagine that guy comes over. What were you celebrating, Kwanzaa?

My neighbor is the one that made it y'all want to meet him you're like and i get we're celebrating might as well have him come over that's crazy uh boxing day which you've already covered um it's become a big sports watching day in europe and in canada it's kind of like our football for on thanksgiving yeah that's what everybody does they uh watch sports festivus yeah follows december 23rd the day this podcast comes out did you know that was a real thing no but i love it if it is that makes so great one of the side for the rest of us one of the writers of seinfeld's dad invented Festivus and he just did crazy stuff around the house and they didn't have a metal pole but he said the real symbol of the holiday was a clock that my dad put in a bag and nailed it to the wall every year I don't know why I asked him once and he would

never tell me he just always say that's not for you to know yeah but since Seinfeld came out, Festivus is now celebrated. It's not for you to know. Isn't that funny? That's such a good answer. It's a very Frank Costanza. So now there's the Arian of Grievances, Festivus Mill, Feats of Strength. I got a lot of problems with you people.

I'm going to start with you, Kruger. You can sew a silk sheet on a hot date. I lost my train of thought. Festivus Miracles, which Kramer had. So it's become a big thing now. She must have been some doll. Oh, she was.

No, what is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It must have been some doll. Oh, she was. That episode is actually not called Festivus. It's called The Strike. Yeah. And they said years later, they're like, we wish we'd have called it Festivus.

We just had no idea. Because that's when Kramer's striking at H&H Bagel. Yeah, yeah. He strikes at H&H Bagel. Puts his jacket in where they sell the bagels. Yeah. Which is one of my favorite, kind of like something no one notices. But when he goes to work, the fact that he's been out of work, he's like, I didn't know

you were out of work. He's like, it's embarrassing. You want to tell him. And he goes, the minimum wage is $ i don't know you're out of work is like it's embarrassing you want to tell him and he goes the minimum wage is 15 well you know who to thank for that and then he takes his jacket off and he goes in the store and in the wind the window display that they would put bagels in that's how people choose which bagels they want he just jams his jacket in the window display and it's always so funny to be like that's you don't put your jacket like there's counters there's counters, there's a hook, there's a million things.

And he's like, ah, let's get to work. It's the last place to put it. The last place to put the jacket is the window display. Bryan Cranston's in that episode. Yeah. That's a great episode. Is that the? The two-face and he meets, Jerry meets the girl at Tim Watley's party.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a great episode. Yeah. Wow. Is that it? Is there? It's probably a good place to stop.

Yeah. It's a good place to stop. Is there not one more fun one? Let's see. 12 Days of Christmas. The song 12 Days of Christmas. Yeah. If you added up all the gifts you would get,

you'd end up with 364 presents. Wow. Huh. That's fun. Yeah end up with 364 presents. Wow. That's fun. Yeah. It's a little much. Yeah. Well, one of them is a live bird. Most of them are birds.

Oh. I mean. Dude, how many birds is that going to be? The majority are birds. So you have 200 birds in the house. Turtle, doves, French hens. I don't remember. Yeah.

There's a lot of people too. Drummers. Drumming. Some geese, I don't remember. Yeah. A lot of people, too. Drummers. Drumming. Some geese, I think. Maids. On the office, didn't a goose attack Aaron? Yeah, that's right. So you have live animals and human trafficking.

Yeah. It's actually very illegal and just unethical. I mean, if you did what the 12 Days of Christmas did, you would be arrested. And, I mean, they'd did what the 12 Days of Christmas did, you would be arrested. And I mean, they talk about you on 60 Minutes. Yeah. That's what we're getting at. 12 Days of Christmas.

This year. Yeah, that's crazy. So we did get y'all a little Christmas present. The listeners of the folks at Nateland, you've been asking for it. You've been wanting it. We finally did the Krispy Kreme donut challenge. It is done.

It's a little video of it. We did it. We're going to make it. It's going to be posted with this so you can see it. And that's a thank you for you guys. I know we kind of jumped out the gate talking about it. Never thought it'd ever matter and catch on. Apparently it did catch on. I think we're going to lose a lot you for you guys. I know we kind of jumped out the gate talking about it and never thought it'd ever matter and catch on. Apparently, it did catch on.

I think we're going to lose a lot of people. Right. Because people are only here for the community. They're just waiting for that. They were just waiting for that. But we finally did it. We hope we keep you after that. Maybe that's what Drew Turler to finally –

that's what he came for, and he's like – So we did it. that's what he came for. And he's like, uh, so we did it. Uh, me,

Aaron breakfast, Laura all did it. Uh, I don't, I don't know what to think. I don't ever know what I want you to, what's the proper way to, you know, I don't,

you know, it's, it definitely was harder than we thought. Right. I think the results will surprise people. I think they will. I mean, I don't,

yeah, I don't think you go into, yeah, well, don't point at them and let the people guess who the results would be surprising to. Okay. I think the results will surprise people. I'm going to read them out for you. Here they are exactly. That's not really a spoiler, dude.

I'm just saying you'll be shocked. You'll be shocked you'll be shocked that we're gonna edit some of us know ourselves better some of us some of us i think some were let down and someone was surprising right and uh yeah so that's the thing but it's definitely uh 36 donuts is not in the picture so don't worry worry about that. I mean, yeah. Don't expect 36. They're sweet. It's a lot. Very rich.

Very rich. Very rich. Very rich. And I tried to do just chocolate donuts, and that was- A mistake. That was a mistake. A tactical error. It was a tactical error from out the gate, so maybe I need to try it again. Don't put this in the universe, dude.

We did it. When you see this you're gonna realize that aaron throws a lot of numbers aaron lives in an imaginary world that you know we need someone just following him around and he's like you know i fought a five bears once with my fist and someone's like he wrestled his uncle and then walks behind him and just says you know that corrects and goes he didn't do any of that stuff he goes i could swim underwater for six minutes he's like he barely he dumped in went under came up freaked out uh it was 60 seconds at most because he forgot which way Wow. Wow. No one that's surprising.

So the secret genius is some other secrets. So yes, we did the video. We did it for you. I know we talked about it forever. We wanted to give it to you guys. We can't really give you a gift. So that is our gift that we, uh, did that.

We were all in pain. Uh, so, and then, yeah, me and you did a show that night for, uh, feeding the homeless.

Uh, so yeah, so check it out. And, uh, again, uh, hope you guys have an awesome,

awesome Christmas. We do. We love every one of you and we can't thank you enough for listening and, we'll see you right back an awesome, awesome Christmas. We do. We love every one of you. And we can't thank you enough for listening. And we'll see you right back after Christmas. So, all right. Merry Christmas. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nateland Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Thanks for tuning in.

Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.