The Nateland Podcast - 267: #267 Ponies, Pitches & A Proposal ft. John Crist

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

This week, the guys create a video for the Tennessee Titans, Aaron throws out a first pitch with a bunch of kids, and John Crist joins the guys to share details about his big weekend. Plus, the guys talk a little bit about cowboys. Vuori- https://www.vuori.com/nate Vuori is an investment in your happiness. For our listeners, they are offering 20% off your FIRST purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at vuori.com/nate. Plus enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Beam Dream: shopbeam.com/NATE For a limited time,  Beam is giving my listeners their best offer yet: up to 40% off. Try their best-selling Dream Powder and get up to 40% off for a limited time. Go to shopbeam.com/NATE and use code NATE at checkout. Hello Fresh: HelloFresh.com/nateland10fm The best way to cook just got better. Go to HelloFresh.com/nateland10fm now to get 10 Free Meals + a Free item for Life!  iRestore: iRestore.com/Nate Reverse hair loss with @iRestorelaser and unlock HUGE savings on the iRestore Elite with the code NATE at irestore.com/nate! #sponsor

Hello, folks, and hey bear, welcome into the Nate Land podcast, excited to have you here. It's really going to be a great show. Kickback, Settle in. We've got a lot of things happening here in the Nate Land studio located in the heart of Nashville, Tennessee, at Zanee's Comedy Club. Welcome into the Nate Land podcast. I'm Aaron Weber, joined, as always, by the core of the Nateland podcast,

the heart of the operation. Brian Bates, sitting at the table next to me. And we are joined this week by an old friend of the podcast, a staple of what we're building here at Nate Land Studios. John Chris.

Back at it. In the building. Thank you for joining us, John. Nate will be here shortly. He'll be here in just a few minutes. Am I the most repeat guest? I think Greg Warren's got you beat, but you're fighting your way up to the top. You've been here, frankly, too much.

Yeah, I agree. But how many times is Greg gone on? I think you were, the 80. I think you were the first guest in the new studio here. So it's a bit of a homecoming in that regard. Yeah, I mean, didn't we do our one with Dustin and Melissa Nickerson right at the game? I didn't look into it at all. I feel like you were the first one here in the new studio.

Yeah, so you ever get invited to something? This didn't happen this time, but you ever get invited to something, but you're like, this is tomorrow. I think people have been invited before. Okay, yeah, you've been invited early. I get an evite, and I'll open it immediately, and there's already all these people who's responded, either yes or no or whatever. And I realized I didn't make the first cut.

Yeah. So I only got invited because these people said no. I think them. I had a few people like that in our wedding where, like, some people, RSVP, know, and you're like, oh, some space is clear. up. Yeah. So now we can invite some people.

I looked out then too. On the fringe. No, you were an early invite, Brian. Come on. A few things to be aware of here at Nate Land. The ball is rolling here. A lot of stuff going on. Nate Land presents the showcase season three is here.

We've had a lot of great comedians on it already. I think I was just watching Nathan McIntosh's set. That dude is so funny. Tune in this week for the premiere of the legendary Yaakov Smirnoff. Yes. His set is premiering this. weekend. He's done the podcast. You know him. You love him. People say it's one of the better episodes we've had in this podcast. Yeah. And I feel like all we did was just listen to him talk the whole time. So it's a little bit of an indictment on us. That was everyone's favorite episodes. The one where y'all talk the least. But it's showcase premieres this Friday night. August 29th, tune in. Be sure to support it. Leave a comment like it. All of that stuff. They're also going to be taping. Nateland is the Ryan Hamilton new special for Netflix. Two shows, October 4th at the Neptune Theater in Seattle. That's a big deal.

You know, anyone could throw something up on YouTube. Nate Land's getting stuff on Netflix. Why? What's that? Is that against me? No, my specials on YouTube, too. Come on. You're both losers is what he's saying. Yeah, I forgot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I put four specials on YouTube, dude. So, Gus used to tape me at, Ryan's one of the best, man. He did the Nate Land Showcase that he did at the Riemann. And I had never really, like, watched a full set of his. He's so funny. He's so funny.

And so it's just like a polished, like... A pro. Yeah, a pro, I guess is the right word for it. We got to get back to that. October 4th of the Neptune Theater in Seattle, a few tickets left for the 7 p.m. show. Tickets still available for the second show at 9.30 p.m. Go be a part of history. Go be a part of comedy history and see Ryan Hamilton's Netflix special taping.

But here we are, the Nate Land Studio, waiting on Nate. we've been here before last week you think by now we'd be able to handle this with more grace but no we're still just sitting here waiting on Nate to show up but we're excited to have you John what have you been up to

save the big news for later okay well we talk about our weekends okay yeah yeah I want to hear about that mine's going to be pretty fast though Nate's not going to be interested in ours anything so he might as well he's ain't going to be interested in John's but be totally honest

But we have to at least pretend like we're interested in John. Yeah. Yeah. I was home this weekend. Nate was kind enough to get us tickets to the Titans preseason game. All right. And some of us went. So thanks Nate for that.

And we got to see the premiere of our video. So if people don't know, we're doing, we recorded a Titans Code of Conduct. I don't think we've talked about it yet on the podcast. And I'm a part of this. Yeah. Yeah. We'll get into that too. so just real brief for people don't NFL requires every team to list a few rules

code of conduct before the game it's obvious stuff like don't throw anything on the field don't fight people yeah don't smoke stuff like that yeah and these teams get creative and try to come up with fun ways to put these rules out so this year they asked us to do it this year the Titans went the other route they've done song parodies in the past yeah the Oakridge boys did this in the past. Yeah. And now they're all the way down to Nate Land. That's who they've got left in Nashville.

So we played like NFL studio analyst and went in the Titan studio and got dressed up. And let me tell you something. When they showed this Friday night, the crowd went wild. Look at that. I mean. Oh, I got it. I got it. I didn't know what my part was.

Okay, you're in the studio reviewing the people's behavior. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you haven't seen it yet. I mean, look at those. People are going to do. nuts. Oh, yeah. It was such a big pop.

Yeah. Now, how long before the game did they play it? Too soon, in my opinion. Okay, so it's like two hours before the game. It looks like, you know, it was 643 when they showed it for a 7 o'clock kickoff. But preseason. That's a preseason game. Nobody gets in their seats early.

But you can see right there, it's Nate, Brian, me, and Dusty, and we're NFL. It was such a fun thing to shoot. This is like, I've always. wanted to, you know, be an analyst on one of these shows or something. Right. I mean, Dusty dressed up. That's Dusty's brand. I don't know.

You learned to just not ask questions about Dusty after a while. That is Dusty dressed out. It is funny. A lot of the comments were like, it's very funny that Dusty's just wearing his normal clothes. So the three of us are in suits, dressing apart. And John's in it. He gets sacked by a couple of the Titans. I'm one of the people doing the bad comments.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the plot of it is we're kind of running through some of the infractions you can make in the crowd. And we cut to video of people doing stuff. And John's one of the guys who gets escorted out of the stadium. There was a cheer when they showed that. I mean, people were wild. Boom. No, it's a bunch of people texted me.

So I'm going to be getting these every Sunday. For two years. I guess only the home games. Yeah. Yeah. But for two seasons, they're going to play this on the Jumbo Tromb. before every game. It's a lot of pressure.

So it's super cool. I mean, we were talking about what a cool thing it is. Brian, who's had season tickets to the Titans since they became a team here, and you're sitting up with the nosebleeds, and now you're on the Jumbotron

before every game. Yeah. What are the odds with all five of us who gets canceled? We've got to take this video down. It's two years, a two-year cancellation window. What do you mean?

Oh, if one of us gets canned? Yeah. You already grandfathered in, I guess. John. I think we're good for a while. I think we're good for a while. I'd still put money on John. I'm like,

hey, we got to think we got to re-cut the movie. No, we can reshoot my scene, though. You could keep y'all. We can edit you out more easily than one of the four of us.

Tristan doesn't have another friend. I don't know. Yeah, Tristan's in it too. Tristan, the longtime producer of the podcast is with John. Yeah, we're in the scene together.

Everyone's in Adrian, his whole family's in it. Nate's parents are in it. They're ushers. Yeah, there's all kinds of fun little Easter eggs of people in the Nate Land universe. Chase is in it. Chase, Nate's son. Yeah.

I guess if you go, I guess Nate's on the end and then Dusty's on the end. So if we did have to reach, we got those two if they canceled, it could survive. If one, a person on the end, now either of y'all two getting canceled. Next season, they're just zoomed into me and Brian on there. If it's just the two of us, I'll say this, it's a much worse sketch. If it's just Brian and I, none of the dial. It makes sense at all. But a very cool thing to do, thank you for the Titans.

The Titans have been real cool to us from day one. I mean, we were in that schedule release video last season, the Titan, and they send us stuff all the time. So it's really cool to have the Titans on board with what we're doing. So what have we got an over under on wins for the Titans? Over under on what we want or what we expect. It's five and a half, I think it's the, I like that. How did Cam Ward look?

Five and a half. He looked good. I mean, you know, yeah, it's hard to tell a preseason because so many people aren't even starting, but... He's probably not even getting a ton of snaps, right? No, he played like two series maybe. Okay, perfect. Yeah.

That's good. If he got hurt in the preseason game, it'd be... It'd be bad. It'd be real bad. Well, you guys are in far enough, I feel like, and this might be illegal, but now you can get a locker room vibe of the over-under. You're like, hey, what are we realistic? Oh, you guys outside are trading.

Yeah, well, don't say it. Don't document it. But if there's somebody in there goes, hey, listen, I've been to all this training camps, I've been to all these practice, we are going to be unbelievable. Or, yeah, the other way, they go, five and a half, take this. Is that the future's better, you know, five and a half? I think five and a half wins is what they're projected. So you've got to have six. Yeah, six to six out of, that's a lot of wins.

Yeah. Out of 16 games, 17 games now, that's a lot of wins. 17 games. Yeah, the only one three this past season, though. Yeah. So that was, I did a spot at Zaney Saturday night. I do want to mention I was on John's podcast for two straight weeks. Net positive. Oh, yeah.

And the bad boy of podcasting got it taken down on Instagram. Wait, what happened? Did you not want to talk about that? Well, not the specifics of it. Oh. But we lost our page, 170,000. Wait, what? We lost our net positive podcast page because of Brian.

No. No, it wasn't because of Brian. That sounds worse. It sounds worse. There's nothing wrong. Don't we think it's AI? Just making a mistake? I think it's AI.

I think it's AI. Yeah, AI is combing all content and just we got it removed because of something. It was out of context. It was said. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I don't know why you don't want to make something worse. No.

Yeah, it does make sound worse. Yeah. And we did another. So basically my episode was John had people submit questions or problems in their church. And we help them with the answer. We were joking, helping them. Somebody was like, my pastor invited me out to lunch and then he made me pay, what should I do? Stuff like that.

Okay. I'll just say, if you can cut it, you can cut this out if you want it. Basically, one of the questions was, my children's pastor is on Instagram wearing bikini picks. And what should I, what should we confront him? And I think AI found those words. Confront him? Is a dude wearing bikinis? No, a girl.

Yeah. It's a girl probably. Yeah. Okay. And then AI, I think, founded that sentence and shut down the whole thing. Oh, sure. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which, yeah, you can cut that if you want to. But that, yeah, it does make it sound way worse. Yeah. I don't know if that would have been my clip for the week. Yeah. That was a bold choice on your part, John. Well, another clip he had where he just basically berates the nice people who makes fun of. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

There was one. Yeah. There was one clip that we chose. That is the great, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, someone is in a singles ministry. I got crushed. There is no singles ministry, she said, you know, at her church. Yeah, it needs to be.

And John's like, oh, you're single. It's for a reason. It's not because of. Wow. No, I didn't say it like that. You said that to the guy who was single until he's 48. I know. I know.

Then he comes off looking like the good guy. Yeah, exactly. Oh, we love Brian. Oh, that's what happens every Nateland moment is we look like the jerks. And then Brian pops it. And they go, oh, it's funny how that works. Yeah. Did he do that on other people's,

I feel like we've done that in our group text that we go this is the clip I know like you know I know I know

and I think that when I'm we clip ours right after we go and they go this is what this is the clip sometimes

it's hard sometimes yeah it's hard sometimes I was in Lowell do you have more you want to talk no that was it

I was in Lowell Arkansas at the Grove Comedy Club shout out Bill shout out Bill Adams man we had a fun weekend

sold out a show I'd never sold out a show. Nice. It was pretty fun. The other shows were not. Well, but they were pretty not. But the one that was sold out was a lot of fun. Thank you to everybody that came.

I threw out the first pitch at the Arkansas Nationals game, the Northwest Arkansas Nationals game. It's amazing. I always try to set this up, and you always think it's going to be a bigger deal than it is. And I got there, and they were borderline annoyed that I was there. Like there was three other people that threw out the first pitch with me

And they were all little kids You're like Andy Reid You've seen that video Andy Reid Yeah, playing football Yeah Around the little kids Well I was like it'll be a fun thing I like the idea of the game was at 6

And the show started at 630 So I was like Let's all go over We'll do this first pitch And then go run and make the show Who's let's all? Me and the other comments He's got a team now

Jay Flake was with me and a guy named Michael Blank from Kansas City. So I say, we'll go hang out at the game. We'll get our free Bobby Witt Jr. Bbblehead at the game. And then see me through the first pitch and we'll head over to the game. Well, they were worried. Everybody started to be worried. It'd be a little too close to Showtime. So I had to go to this game alone by myself.

That's tough. And, you know, it's three kids that are like adorable. Their first pitch was like five feet from the plate. And the crowd went, oh. And then I had to go up and I threw as hard as I could. And it was not a good pitch. I slipped a little on the mound, almost fell. No excuses, bro.

Next time I thought of first pitch, I'm tucking my shirt in. I'll say that. I learned the hard way. I learned the hard way. You got to tuck the shirt in when he'd throw really hard. Instagram took down the video. The best part. The best part is, you know, they were just, because there's four first pitches.

They're rattling off these intros. So they just said, and Aaron, Webber representing the Grove Comedy Club. So these people don't even know I'm a comedian. They're like, does this guy just a dishwasher? Like, why is this guy out here? You have other credits that are bigger than that. Yeah, I have stuff you could have said.

If you were saying stuff. I said him a whole intro. Everybody there was nice, but it was just, you think it's going to be way more than it is. Do you want the full intro after three kids go? Yeah, you need to reset the room. I had a late show I was trying to sell. Dude, come on. And I wasn't even last.

There was a kid that pitched after me, too. You were in the middle? I was in the middle. Oh, it's tough. The first pitch feature. For an eight-year-old. The first pitch. So I threw the pitch.

It was one of the coaches caught it. And he was like, it's a little, he goes, it's a little high. He goes, it's a little high. I would have swung. He was cool. And then I grabbed my ball. Then I had to run out to the parking lot and get in the car. drive and make the shit.

Like what kind of car? My car that I did. My car. Oh, you didn't ran a car. That's like a Ford Focus out there. Yeah, yeah. That's good. I drove my car.

All right, that's better. Eight and a half hour drive. Yeah. And, uh, now why don't you find a favorable? Is it just easier to drive? Boom. How about that?

I got my own little easier to drive tour around here. Is that, is it just easier to that? You can't fly southwest. Is that a joke? You can't fly southwest in the North West Arkansas. Mm-hmm. So I was like, I'd have to buy me and Jay's ticket.

I was like, let's just drive. Make J drive. I could make J. Easier. Easier to drive, tour. Yeah. Anyway, it was a fun weekend. Thank you to everybody came out. A lot of really nice people.

The meet and greet lines are like fun. People that listen to the podcast are so nice. And, you know, they talk about how they listen to it. Anyway, it just means a lot. It was a fun weekend. There's been a couple bad. I feel like throwing out the first pitch or doing anything baseball related is similar to, I've asked like country artists

about singing the national anthem it could only go wrong that's true like what's her name from Caller Daddy with the Cubs recently and then didn't she do the

whatever the seventh inning stretch game or oh she's saying take that to the ballgame one of them and everybody's like like I sweet Carolyn take me out to the ball game who's the seventh inning stretch the Red Sox yeah

do that Oh okay I don't know if it's turned the seventh inning So I've thrown out my team is the Braves. Right. And I have the sounds here. But I've thrown out the first.

I don't, I don't think I would for a competitor. Now, you're trying to do all 150. Not me, but I've done three. Not me. I was supposed to do it. Minor leagues different. Well, all majors and all minor leagues. I'm trying to do it.

Not me. I've done three. I got 147 to go. I went to Tulsa and the game got rained out for my first pitch. So I couldn't do that one. But I could count that. If you count that, I've done four. Because minor leagues, they feed into, yeah, I'm not trying to, don't know.

I know all the major league teams are listening to this. Like, shoot. I was going to say, don't call me. They're not calling you anyway, dude. I'm staying the Braves only. I'll do it again for the Braves. I won't do anybody else. I'm going to, uh...

I'm not doing the Phillies, bro. I'll go do the Phillies. No way. I'm not going to wear the jersey, but I'll go out there. I would never double-crossed the team that I grew up with by throwing out the first pitch, especially anyone of Mets, absolutely not. Absolutely not. All right.

A man of principle. I respect it. I am now. As of right now. As this weekend. Starting today. I'm going to the White Sox game this weekend. I asked if I could throw out first pitch and they're like,

oh, sorry, I'm already full. I thought about asking when I was there, but it was Derek Rose was throwing it out. And they were like, all right, well, he's pretty big. They alluded to the fact they have a few people doing it. Because I think often it is a few people, right? Yeah, but then there's like a headliner. You were there opening weekend, I think. It was opening weekend.

I'm like, come on, it's late August. But they still said no. Did you hit up the guy, our mutual? Yeah, he hit me up. Oh, cool. Yeah, he'll take good care of you. Well, there's like a, there's like a minor league first pitch drug dealer. Like hit up my guy.

Where are you going? I did. I got a white socks guy. The Tulsa drillers. I got you, dude. He's like, no, I couldn't get in there. Hold on. I got it.

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They're lightweight, moisture wicking. They have a relaxed fit for four-way stretch. So whether I'm running errands or just kicking back, they move with me. Viori is an investment in your happiness. For our listeners, they're offering 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at vori.com Nate. That's v-U-O-R-I-com slash Nate. Exclusions apply, obviously. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.

Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. Go to viori.com slash Nate and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Well, let me just say, I was texting before we getting to your weekend. I was texting John this weekend. Some about this podcast. And he was either very slow to reply or didn't reply at all.

And I'm just like, all right, he's shooting a Cracker Barrel sketch. So I'll just let him do this thing. I just assumed, right? Cracker Barrel be like. He's got overalls on right now. I guarantee you, shooting something. But then once I found the news about his weekend, I'm like, okay, well, he was a little busy. Right.

He had stuff going up. So tell us about your way. weekend. That's how you're going to promote it? Well, let me do. No, I'll say it. I'll say something else. Aaron, before he talks about his news, how did you find out? Oh, no. Oh, this will be a fun. Yeah, yeah, John, well, I, I knew, you want to just talk about that after? Okay. John said, yeah, I can engage to a woman. All right. A woman this time, folks. Oh, that's that what you wanted me to say? That was the surprise. Congratulations. I didn't say it Right. Hey, dude. I made it.

John got engaged. Now it's five married white guys on this pod. Yeah. I'm talking about telling the world how it should be. Yeah. Well, you're not going to be a regular, but. Oh. Oh, I thought. Oh, yeah. Yeah, don't get too comfortable. Oh, sorry. Sorry, my bad. I was too much. I was too much. Yeah. Congratulations. I got to gauge.

Oh, yeah. To my girlfriend. How's it feel? To your fiance. Unbelievable, man. My fiance now. Tell us about it. Man, okay. I think I surprised her too much. Oh, really? Like, if we were on the way over there and somebody's like,

hey, this is a fake event, you're getting engaged, she'd be like, no, I'm not. Because you did such a good job. We had like 97 layers. It was at the symphony. The funniest part, we'll laugh at this. I'm glad Nate's not here for this. But I said, me and Brian Dorfman from Outback,

who is owned Zanis, we created the Comedy Impact Awards. at the shimmer horn at the symphony you created a fake event yeah at the symphony wow the guys on my podcast like little egotistical to make an awards for you wait wait so the cover was that you were receiving an award yeah not that no wait it gets worse oh gosh it's way worse dude I was like how it's going to be how did that not send up any red flag she knew the whole time I bet she's playing along with you. Okay.

I thought that. So I go, it's the comedy impact awards. And I go, I don't know what this says about me or what I thought about. I go, they're giving me an award

for a comedian of the quarter. Because I was like, comedian of the year. She'd be like, why isn't it Nate? Like she wouldn't. And why is it in August? Yeah.

Why is it in August? So it's like last, like Q1. I'm like the Q1. Comedian. of the fiscal quarter. You mean for the century. Yeah, they were like,

they were like, well, you can't, I was like, I'm accepting an award on behalf of Nashville comedy. Oh, okay. And I'm like comedian of the, so the, like, well, she would have been like, is Nate, is Laura going? Because Nate was on the road, but he's like, is Laura, then so I got Laura, I called Laura. Yeah.

And she was like, okay, I'll get her in what outfit. And then Lucy was also involved. That's probably how you heard, how he heard about it. That's how I found out about it. Yeah. Now, what do you mean? Brian's upset. I mean, Brian found out about an hour ago.

I was leaving church and a random woman said, I saw you on John's podcast. Y'all must be good friends. I'm like, we're great friends. And she was like, so you're at the engagement party? I'm like, what's that? She's like, oh, John Chris got engaged this weekend. There's no party. It's no party.

And I'm like, what? And then I immediately text Aaron. He's like, oh, yeah, I know. No, because he had to be involved. Aaron had to be involved, and Nate had to be involved. Yeah, yeah. Well, I found out from a random lady at my church. In the parking lot?

Yeah. I don't know how she found out. I mean, she was at the party, but. Her daughter was there. Welcome into the Nate Land podcast, Nate Bargettze. Hey, congrats, buddy, man. I don't know, you texted me, and I knew what happened. Yeah.

I don't know if I texted you back. I figured I didn't tell you here. I had to, we had to involve Laura in it. I was like, well, I knew about it. Laura shouldn't tell. Nate. I told Nate, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I knew about it. A week ago? During the week or something like that? Yeah. Yeah, something like that. So you had the symphony hall rented, like, rented out? Oh, yeah. Renated the whole thing. Was the actual symphony there, too? Yeah, a couple pieces of it.

Wow. I don't get the whole thing. The whole, the whole, the whole, I'll take the flute stuff. I don't think we, you go. Yeah. How much is the flute stuff? How much is just the flute stuff? What is that one? The whole, uh, can I have one trombone? And they go, trombones are, Tremone, that guy's expensive. Let me hear it without the trombone. Well, how expensive the drumbone? Who's the most expensive?

They go, are trumpeter. Timpony? You don't need a timpity. You don't need a timpity. The lead violinist is she's got a thing this weekend. We got the second chair. Yeah, yeah, second chair. I don't know if she would have even came in.

Is she practicing helping you up there? Lead via M.S would have been. Lead Viams. And then, yeah. Yeah, I mean, how many pieces did you have? It's like, well, they were like, you don't want the, the symphony as in with the, like, the union or something. They were like, how about you just get your own symphony.

Your own symphony. But then do you know what to ask for for the symphony? Give me like, give me like a, how much is a, I feel like it's KFC, how much for a six piece? Yes. Yeah, let me get a six piece. But is there someone that you talk to that says that? Yeah, yeah, they were kind of like...

Like a price point? Yeah, I was like, they were like... What do I need? It's a symphony. It'll sound full. If one person's playing a recorder, you could hear it in the play.

What song were they playing? Morgan Wall and something like that. The Lion King? A Lion King. Not too many people. They were playing y'all. They play like y'all song. They played Steady Love by Ben Rector.

Oh, great song. The Goodness of God. And then they played the... You're going to make fun of me for this, but I don't care. The theme song for How to Train Your Dragon. I mean, that's one of the best soundtracks of all time. Is it?

Yeah, the score is unbelievable. Oh. Yeah, because that was a little bit of reach. I got this next song. I hope. You were DJed? No, I go like, they had to learn it. For this next one. Oh, yeah, they had to learn it.

She goes, is this the How to Train Your Dragon theme? I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Game on. Did she have to sit as all three plays? Well, did you just have to stand there? Yeah. Three songs? There's a lot going on.

That's like 12 minutes. That's why you're on. the ground. You're walking up to it, right? Yeah, first of them you're walking up. Is it like as soon as you walked in the, that's the surprise? Or was the reveal later at the altar or the stage? No, they were playing before, they had like a cue when we pull in the parking lot, start

playing. Oh, I see a symphony member back there. What if you just didn't do ask her? I was like, I forgot. You do all this. And he's like, I just thought it'd be a good date night. Well, everybody wants to be surprised. So I thought, I was like, dude, I should take her.

every woman is going to turn out the podcast like I should take her to the Eiffel Tower like a week before just to like see it just to fake her out a bit to fake her out yeah and not do it not do it yeah and she be like I was like does she think it was coming no because I should you know not no no because he told her he was getting comedian of the century yeah yeah I did know that and a comedic comedy award yeah I was getting an award yeah you're getting an award yeah yeah no you were saying you were getting an award was i yeah lesser than you yeah i was getting the runner-up comedian of the century it's his fantasy night let him do what he wants yeah yeah and then you had yeah you had laura accepting my award because i couldn't be there that weekend you were on tour yeah yeah

i don't know if i would have went if i'm not even the top award i was i was third fourth down i don't know i was barely i was barely getting an award you were doing a guest spot was lucy accepting for Aaron? Yeah, Hannah for Dusty, and then I had a lady at my church tell me. Yeah, and Bates was wide open for his. I really was home. I could have been there. You didn't even give Bates a fake award? Well, I should have, yeah, I should have listed up. That would have probably been a tip to her.

We had a whole run of show. Did you have, like, a graphic made for this? Yes, do we have to be? Yeah, my publicist was like, send it to Lydia. Like, here's the, here's what you need to be there. Here's what. Oh, that's pretty. I mean, that's awesome, dude. There were so many people involved.

But I was like, if I said comedian. national comedian of the year. Even though this is a fantasy situation, she would not have believed that. For you to win that. Yes. Maybe come back. What did you say you were winning?

Nashville Comedy Impact Award comedian of the quarter. The quarter. Of the quarter. That's unbelievable. Like, that is like a reasonable... The Q3. Yeah, you're like,

I guess he's had a strong February. he goes it's just like how was it all going you're like his April was great pretty solid I haven't seen

I mean what quarter the front quarter the first quarter I think Q2 I guess Q1 oh you went Q1 so we're two cues behind of these awards

they do them late yeah she's like she never heard of the comedy impact I thought you literally met quarter like the first 25 years of the quarter century yeah I thought you were saying that about

oh 2025 yeah well I've been Twitter that long. You just meant the first quarter of 2025. January, February, March. Yeah. And I still, even in this fantasy, where I can get on the list for that. Did you tour a lot during that time? Half and half. Yeah, you've been on the road. Oh, January very much. Yeah. Isn't there in the, in the office, it's like in Dwight's dream, he's like the assistant, original manager. He runs a bed and breakfast in hell. Like even in your fantasy, 80 grand a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did, uh, what's that real life,

that video game that was so popular where he played himself what's it called? Second life. Second life. Yeah, he was just the same. Yeah, he was the same guy.

Yeah. So, I do like that quarter. Comedian of the Quarter. Community of the Quarter. Nashville, yeah. Nashville Comedy Impact. I mean, it would be...

Right before you came in, Nate, John was like, I'm glad Nate's not here for this part of it. Then you showed up right after. Because she'd be like, if I was like, as a comedian of the year,

year. She goes, well, why wouldn't it be Nate? That would be her first question. Yeah, but it would be in Nashville? No, I'd be too small still. Yeah. You would, but you would just say, you'd say Nate won it last year, so they can't. It's like the Nashville scene. That'd be good. Well, she was under the impression that all the venues in town that Outback Books, Comedy, and we're going to be there. So like the Opry, Bridgestone, the Ryman, T-Pag. Have you even played Nashville? Not in a while. So you haven't even... Good thing. She didn't ask any questions.

Yeah, so you've won the comedy impact of Nashville. Have not played Nashville. So what impact have you had on Nashville except... I did the Nate Landline live here. Yeah. I guess you do our show. Once a month. You're consistent on our show.

Monday nights. I've been big in the last. But you had to make sure there's a lot went into this because she's a journalist. Like she can have. He was going to call her GM and be like, hey, put her on like a breaking story. But she would not buy that. If I was like, hey, you got to go to the symphony because it's blowing up. I don't know how it would get it.

Oh, you're going to do it. Tell her there's a murder at the symphony. Yeah, that would be terrible. And then she shows up excited because it's a big, it's a big breaking story. There was a murder and earthquake at the symphony. Murder and earthquake. Oh, gosh. Just at the symphony?

just at the symphony all right I'll go right there and then she runs in bulletproof vest on yeah once in bulletproof vest guns drawn oh this is

she's like oh I thought I was going to win an Emmy for this store yeah yeah yeah let them hi there's nobody in there it's a symphony playing yeah just the symphony

is this a funeral yeah you made the right call symphony player and you have a comedy impact trophy next to you yeah yeah

yeah I also thought about trying to get her in one of my videos, but then propose. Like, hey, we're doing a video. Can you be in the video? Yeah, that would, you know what? That's not bad. Like, if you were, yeah, I think if you were, you got a play. Well, she is, so it'd been perfect.

It would have worked down to her. I would have preferred this. Yeah. Yeah. Proposals. I did proposals be like. And then it was real. She's like, wait, is this a bit? Is this the bit? No, no, no. This part's real.

That's awesome, man. Congratulations. The pictures look, look off. You got set a date? No, dude, we just figured out. This was last. This was like two nights ago. We did go to Morgan Wallens after. His bar? Yeah. Yeah. This bar.

This bar. What did you do? Jim, you, Theo Vaugh. Celebrate. celebrate on the top floor Ernst He was all there Ernest You were all there, brother

Yeah Was he there? No, he wasn't there Ernst Ernst Yeah, we try to, yeah What's the dusty one Hardy?

Hardy? Yeah What he looks like dusty? All your close friends As you all just go And go Well, we're all best buds We're all here.

Yeah, it was unbelievable. We had to go down here. This photo right here, we had to go down by the river to get the, we got the photographer to convince us to go down to the river. And then in the back there, you can barely see it, that red on the water. That is the 47-person pontoon saloon that circled around right there. And then I go turn around and all of her friends and family. Really?

Oh, really? On that pontoon. That's all. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And she didn't know. that? No, she didn't know that. But she's a little without her glasses she can't see in the dark

she couldn't see anybody. That makes all this a lot easier. I had to plan. I was also going to do we were laughing about this on our pod this morning. I was going to, she's a big Arkansas Razorback fan. I tried to get the mascot to be dancing on the side of the river while we're going up to the theme song. Who didn't you call? Me? There's a lot of people involved. this. How long has this been in the works? It sounds like quite an operation. I've been off work. I've been doing anything since May. Well, and you got the

comedy impact. Not Q3. Q3 is going to be tough. Q3 is going to be. Q3, you've been off work. Yeah. I've been off work. You took off for like a, how long did you take off from stand up after your last tour? Two weeks. The last tour.

Technically, it was a year. But it's like I did clubs and stuff. What's everybody here's the longest time from stand-up to stand-up voluntarily? Oh, okay. It's different. Yeah. Maybe a month since you started stand-up, three weeks. Month and a half for me.

Like even doing a show? Any on stage with a microphone doing comedy at all? I don't know if it's ever been a month. Never. Never. I've gone up and did something. Yeah. I did some show.

Two weeks when my daughter was born? Yeah, I was about a little over a month. when the baby was born yeah way longer than COVID COVID was only a few weeks oh yeah yeah so yeah since the tonight show I didn't I haven't done it since oh really and I'm breaking the fast tonight oh well I think you're going up here to I think so all right nice I'm back Q4 it's gonna be yeah yeah I put me in the running for Q4 comedy impact or anything we mentioned Dusty Dusty is uh he's doing kill Tony he's a panelist on kill oh I got to call him. Is he really tonight? I got to call him. Oh, wow. I didn't know that.

Dusty doesn't tell us much. He doesn't. No. See, it's like, it's like, I'm like you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See where you, see where you, see where you. How'd you find out? You just talked to him? Dusty just told me. Yeah. Wow. That'd have been nice. Nice sent a little text. Yeah. You can do both, can you? I guess you got to go down there. Yeah, it's on Monday. Yeah. Yeah. It's the same. It's similar, similar podcast. So, uh, I said this one. Yeah. Aaron threw out a first pitch in Arkansas almost fell had a bunch of kids you threw up first pitch Baltimore yeah how did it go uh good I hit the

I'll be on see there was a little bounce but it was a sinker and I think you would have swung at it you threw a sinker you would have swung at it that's what I started telling it I said that night on stage anybody that comes up and they go uh how was your first pitch I just go you would have swung yeah no matter who they are it's a regular person person you don't even know I'm gonna tell what you would have swung do the sinker uh that grip with that ball how'd you hold that sinker

well i don't i do it more of a visual not traditional yeah one eye closed it was right over the it was right over the plate okay that's good uh and then it was i'm at a show we went over there it was pretty cool i mean went back there

uh met you know got to but the orioles yeah the oriels i mean i have always liked the orioles Like, I just liked their uniforms. I love the Camden Yards is awesome. Camden Yards is sweet. And so it was fun. I mean, so I went out and did that and went and did a show. Yeah, I think they're figuring out.

Like, I kind of like this idea when they're, if it's real near the place, when it's like right before the show. You're like, that's kind of fun. You just get it kind of run in and do it and then go. But, yeah. You ever done something promotional that you're like, this isn't going to help? you know it's like you're trying to sell to you're like you're probably but you're like you're like you always go to the morning radio or you're like there's no way someone's listening to this and that's going to buy tickets and then it's coming to the thing yeah the Orioles that's different because

you're playing and they're already at the game so that's not to promote the show no it's not promote the show it's like they're it's uh but yeah yeah yeah yeah when you do morning radio yeah there's yeah there's a lot of times when you just do stuff that you're like no one's going to listen to this I've done one, I remember doing a, I think I've talked about, St. Louis. I did a guy's live stream show and there was one person watching it and there was me on my phone in the room. So, yeah, I didn't think that was going to move tickets when I go, let me see how this looks. Yeah. One viewer. Oh, is that when I was with you?

Maybe. We did. I went with you once in St. Louis to. We sat there a while. Yeah, with the other guy from that movie. Blazing Sides. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was on it. Yeah. We sat there forever. And then this guy is, like, there were, it was one of those where the club, they, in a million years, should never have been like, yeah, the comic can go. Yeah. Yeah. But they were like, yeah, go to this. And we're like, all right. And we go. We sat there. And it's like one year, like, it's taken forever. And then I remember it had one view because I was watching it. And I was like, I'm the only one watching this. And this isn't four later.

This is live. It's live and it's four this weekend. Yeah. So, yeah. I like it when you do stuff and then they're like people recognize. They see you on the street from something. Like everybody's like, hey, we know you from Nate Land or from the Opry or a friend. And they're like, you know me from that?

Yeah, I saw you on that podcast. You're like, what? That's where you found me? Why? My mom would be Nesson. What is that? New England Sports Network. There was a sports.

They did a sports comedy show once. And it was the other. Brutal name. name? Well, it's the name of their channel. N-E-S-N. Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. They probably don't say... Nessing with the boys. Yeah, N-E-S-N, New England Sports Network.

It's like saying, Espin. Yeah, I guess they don't do that. But it's, I would, I did that, and it was the only thing I've ever done where I did not have a single human say, I saw it. ever no mention on twitter nothing nothing absolutely no i didn't have just a single you know usually you're like even comedy dot tv and that kind of stuff you have laughs on fox they're like i never did that but it was like did you do it yeah a couple of times comics unleashed i did you did we got to find that episode yeah i'll look for it uh yeah what year I don't know

2007 no no no no it was later okay I never got I never got anything early I got it all later

and I did it because I was like I just wanted it like they asked I the time they asked I probably wouldn't have I wasn't where I wasn't known

but I was like touring and doing enough stuff I'm like you know selling some tickets and it was like we're moving I probably wouldn't have done it except I wanted to like

I was like well I want to feel what it feels like because it's so awkward of the show right yeah um did you ever get anybody never notice you from or remember you from when you opened for somebody yeah found you a lot of chris rock marin i've had a lot of people come to shows and they tell me i saw you open for rock or marron really yeah yeah yeah angelom yeah i've had a lot of that yeah where people've come that stuff that stuff does help yeah now you now you're out of that unfortunately they were like oh we

Now it's we already knew about Nate from before. They're like, dude, we heard about you in like 20, 25. You're like, where were you? It's good to be out. Yeah. You know, Aaron, people think podcasting is just talking to a mic. But you know, like I do, our brains don't shut off when we turn this mic off. Between planning episodes, researching topics, and that 3 a.m. spiral, when I rethink everything I've ever said, which I do,

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B-E-A-M-com slash Nate and use code Nate for up to 40% off All right do you all do this or no No we haven't done this yet Let's get it in the comments

We'll start off with the comments Josh Clemens I knew seven of my great-grandparents Five of them lived at least until I was in college and the final one passed shortly after my 35th birthday Wow

John, do you know any of your great-grandparents? Gaga? Yeah, I knew her. That's what we called her. I don't know what her name was. You're a great-grandmother, you don't know? Yeah, no, no, we did. That's what her name was.

Going to Gaga's house. But you knew her? Yeah, kind of. She was like 100. Yeah, can you take a guess on last name, maybe? It wasn't Chris. Okay. Yeah, because it's on the other side.

I don't even know what a real fool name was. You don't know your mom's man? This guy's lying. You don't want to give that out. That's the answer to everything. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's a security question.

Yeah, good point. No, there's no way this is true. Seven. Great grandparents? I knew. I mean, you have, you, I don't know why this guy would be lying with their first time. He thought eight out of eight. That doesn't sound real, but seven out of eight.

Well, somebody's having a kid in their teen years. Probably back then. Yeah, everybody did. What do you mean back then? This guy's alive now. This guy's our age. I know that, but his great grandparents probably had kids when they were teens. And they may have had kids when they were teens.

Right. So that's how they were still around. Dang. Let me think. One, two, one, two, two, two and a half. Two and a half? Oh, let's see, my, let's see, one, two. Yeah, there's some conflicting.

Maybe it's on one side of the fan, but I'm going to say two, two total. Two's pretty good. Two's more than most people get, I think. Jeff, you want to read Jeff? Oh, Jeff Doron. Jeff Doron, Dorian, Dwarne. My great-grandmother passed away in 2011, two weeks shy of her 112th birthday. Wow.

Wow. She was born in 1890 and briefly held the title as the oldest living Canadian. She was in good health well into her 100s, which is the only way I would want to live to 100. She was married for nearly 40 years when her husband died, ended up being a widow for longer than she was married. Now that, I believe. That story, I believe. Man, that is well. Widow for longer than you married is crazy.

What do you call somebody in their hundreds? We talked about octogenarian. Centarians, right? Centarian. Yeah. I wonder how she died. Tragically. Skydiving accident.

On the treadmill. John, you think you'll make it a 50-year wedding anniversary? What's see? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, she will. Yeah. Easily.

Go on. That's what I'm getting at. I'm not going to make it to mine. 50. Yeah, you're not going to make it to yours for sure. No, you might, right. You're healthy. We would both have to be pretty old, though.

I'm doing great. Yeah. Yeah. I would say if you could rule out, would you pay 50 grand to rule out, like, let's say, the top 10 most common ways to die? 50 grand? No, hold on, hold on. Would you pay 50 grand to eliminate one of them? Can you do more than one?

Yeah. Okay. So you go car wreck. So you can take like cardiac arrest out of it. So then you can start eating all you, whatever you want. Yeah. Wouldn't that be awesome?

I like liver failure to start. You're not going to die of liver failure. You might hit somebody in your car drunk on the way home, but you will not. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. If you knew. Cancer. Gone.

50 grand. No more sun tan lotion. Who are you giving this money to? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. Maybe the research. Joel Lovstein. You would know.

Alex Pinn. My favorite fun fact is that my great grandmother. lived in three different centuries, born in 1897, passed away in 2000. Thinking about how much the world changed during her lifetime always blows my mind. Love you guys and looking forward to seeing Aaron when he comes to Albany in October. All right. See you out there, Alex. 1897 to 2000.

So a completely different world. The century started January 1st, 2001. So sorry, Alex. She was just a little short. Yeah, make it. What was happening in 1897? A car? No.

No cars? Yeah, when was the Model T, 1908 or something? Early 1900s. Yeah, the model. I mean, electricity was just becoming a thing, I think. Dude, if I was Henry Ford, I'd be pissed. 1908 was the Model T was invented. So that's when you started to see cars.

People were walking for the entirety of human history. Yeah. This guy invented a car. a guy invented a plane like a year later he doesn't get yeah but they're just like hey that thanks for that

but I would argue Mercedes Benz should have a big argument because I think they're actually the ones that invented the car but we all associate with Henry Ford well he was the first guy to mass produce it to where it was the first

affordable mass produced automobile here so yeah this is this is when cars became like families could have it you know everything in history You didn't realize everything unbelievable, electricity, the light bulb, the car, the airplane. It was all invented within a couple hundred miles of here. A couple hundred years?

A couple hundred miles. It's all invented on the East Coast in America. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't trust those history books is what I'm saying. Oh, because this was, no one was on the other side yet. Yeah, but you don't think anyone in charge. China was, like, working on this or in Germany or any gunpowder. Yeah.

Who? China. Their history books does not say Henry Ford, I promise. You don't think they're talking about the Model T. No shot. Oh, you're saying. I see what you're getting at now. I bet everybody has there.

It's like the winner gets to say what the... Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get to write the history books. Yeah. Yeah, we're saying they're claiming that they won. Who? They're Henry Ford won.

Yeah. I'm saying in China, or there's other developed countries. Yeah. they were like, no, we, a couple hundred miles from here, actually. Jack, Jack Kia. I don't know. Yeah.

I don't know. What's a Chinese car? Honda. I have a lot of, yeah. Those are Japanese. Oh, shoot. Sorry. What's Chinese?

Yeah, I don't know. Mitsubishi. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Is it? Fiat. I don't know. Fia.

Yeah. No, I don't think so. Honda. Honda, Kord? Mini Coop. Yeah. Ford, South American. We're on Denise.

Denise, thank you, Jeff Doreen, Alex Pinn. Denise, D. Nice. Thank you, Nate, for shutting down the folded paper talk. All right. John, how many folds? Oh, no, I saw this clip. I saw this clip. I want to keep it going.

Yeah, it's not fun. Let's bring it back. Matt Leroy. Am I the only one that noticed Mr. Catholic himself? The Weber Grill was wearing a Michigan hat. Are you one of the simpletons now? No, no, no, no. I would never wear a Michigan hat.

That was a Milwaukee Brewer's hat that I got when we went to the Brewers game. And they threw out the first pitch. And I wasn't going to get it until we met the head coach. And we met a lot of the players and everybody was awesome. And I was like, I'll get a hat. You're getting older. And that's the phase of getting on. I just did shows in Ohio State.

It was unbelievable. And it's like, I went and got the whole tour. Like, I got to go on the field. and just everybody that works there, you're like, yeah, you can't help, but, you know, and people are the, Michigan, obviously, the whole thing, but you're just like, I, you're like, I love it. I love that they're, you know, they don't mention it. They don't call it.

They call it the school up north, all that stuff. And, but it's just very fun that you're like, oh, yeah, I could see, you know. It's just funny. John was saying he would never, you would never wear anything with Mets or Phillies. I won't throw out a first pitch. I would throw out the first pitch for the Braves. I would never throw out the first pitch. pitch for another baseball team.

I understand that. And I don't think I would do anything for Tennessee. Like, yeah. Right, right, right. If it's a team you actually care. And I'm just saying, I wouldn't, if I was a Michigan fan,

I wouldn't do the Ohio State. But I'm saying as you get older, you just tend to like... You lax up on that stuff a little. Yeah, like, overall, you're just kind of like, you know, I just want good games. Right. Yeah, but never with Michigan.

What about, what about on, I think I've seen you, I could be wrong, on stage, doing something to the local sports team. Yeah, I got it. That's a big thing in comedy now. Yeah. What?

Wearing something of the local team on stage. It's a big thing in comedy. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm going to say, I see comics doing it all the time. We're in a baseball jersey of the four comics that can even do in a, you know, have you seen Burt do it. I think it's seen Rife do it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

If you do in the arena like for a sports team, they give you all that. I mean, I'm not, I did it last year wearing it a lot. You did a lot. Yeah. The last couple years. Jersey? I never wore jersey, but I always wear a jacket. He's a suit guy now.

Now I've been wearing a little, yeah, not tie, but the other stuff. I think the shows are, the shows are getting very big. The ties come. And I'm trying to show respect to the audience that comes out. I'm like, you're about to pull out of Rolex. High level, no. I was like, I'm going to go. No, it's, you know.

Where'd you get this idea? We've talked about this? No, I just feel I'm just telling you what I'm filming What I'm trying to set forward is like You know, you want I want people to come to shows And trust my vision and stuff

And it's like I just want to look the part They paid a lot of money for a ticket I don't want to be too insane But just a little more direct And when you're wearing a suit sometimes too It looks very nice And it becomes very less distracting Because it's like

You can kind of forget about it then you're just in your act and so that's why i decided you i have seen uh comics that uh that go to suit too early yeah like a show like a club i've always gone up yeah you go up kind of elevate go let your career kind of take you up but you should be conscious of it and you should be when you get to a point yeah if you get you know you're in theaters i wouldn't be you got to change it up this is not going to cut it don't worry about er This is my nice shirt. Yeah.

And then, I mean, yeah, that's what I'm falling on an arena is a guy that... You're like, well, this is already going to be better. This is the exact outfit I would wear one of your stuff. Without the hat, I would never wear a hat. But that's... You probably shouldn't. I would always see... You probably shouldn't be like, oh, did he get the...

It looks like you got clothes in, like, one of those bins where they say drop off your old clothes. Oh, come on. Come on. No, I'm joking. It looks nice. I get it. I would say 15,000 people are doing a show. Yeah.

You could wear something. But I don't know. That's your thing. They won't get your character. We always laugh at Derek Strupe. Because he's been coming out with me for forever. And then I see him on your shows and he's wearing something nicer. I go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where are these outfits? Your show, he's dressed like a middle school offensive line coat. Yeah, and then he's got a new pair of shoes. He's wearing slacks. I've never seen. I was going to wear his this. him in. Yeah.

Where's this? Yeah. It's a, I've noticed that a little bit more. Like, it feels like we're, you know, yeah, it's the, it's getting so big now that it's like, we all need to. Yeah. Rise to the UK. Rise to the UK.

Hey, there's no more, what else is going on in your act? Yeah, there's none of that. Yeah, it's most of what I do. And you want, like, the aspect. Julian will wear, he always wears kind of like a merch or he'll wear a shirt. He will wear stuff from the. arena that we're at and julian julian is unbelievable if you if you come out to shows and julian hosts the show we started comedy guys been doing it for 20 years like he's a crazy

headliner in his own right but then what he does with these arenas because it's so big he does so unbelievable but he'll wear something that is local so you they you do get that aspect there's ways like we're i'm consciously thinking of this where we have ways that to go like that's fun it's you we want to show aspects of that but then you also i want these people to have the best show they could possibly have yep so then everybody goes up murders we do the show and then they leave happy yeah you wear hooties yeah hoodie you can wear to a meet and greet or something like that yeah i have one hoodie that i can wear but it's like i wear it's like now it's got nice pants and shoes so it's like but it's uh yeah yeah you're trying to get it figured

it out you know yeah i don't want to be this is not uh comedy impact q1 that outfit no no yeah yeah fair no but you yeah but you look you'd wear that on stage he's wearing cammofflech pants right now yeah but you wouldn't wear that yeah probably yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah something got knee braces on underneath because you're gonna go to the ground knee pads I've been off I've been off for three so my knees are great yeah I've been good I've been good we're gonna see you walk out and you just got everybody can tell you have something underneath your pants and your knees they go what's that he goes well he's getting older uh it hurts can't fall like he used to yeah yeah you know Michael Jackson used to slip his feet into those little nails so he

could lean forward yeah yeah yeah it's kind of like that I didn't know that yeah oh sorry I ruined it Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Tyler Brooks. I'm an ophthalmachic. Well, I'm an ophthalmic. Sounds made up.

I'm an othalmic. Is that it? Some with the eyes. None of us had a correction for it. For a retina specialist, and I will say to Nate's defense, 2015 is definitely more rare. and I don't see it as often. But also, when your doctor or technician told you

that you only seen two people with that reading, I'm almost positively said that to make you feel good. I've told patients the same thing to make them feel good, too, so I'm almost sure of it. All right. That's good to know. But that's, you know. What?

I was right. Okay. Think about it. I don't know. It's right in 2015. You sound like you're about to offer to rebuttal, but he didn't say anything. you go all right but you know that you know yeah I'm bailed on it

the uh the girl that um took our engagement photos said these are the best engagement photos she's ever seen that's a lie probably she just started just started working yeah that's like they were really good pictures no I bet they are they're they're the pictures are unbelievable but she would say that to everybody I'm sure she does but your pictures are really good so then she could just say it you know you write a new joke you think this is the best joke I've ever written. Because it's new to you, it's got to say. She was probably happy to know, because

she was coming to film to photograph the impact award. And then she goes, oh, this is much better. Yeah. This is a much better. Well, you don't say, Philly, this has been unbelievable. You're the third best show of the weekend.

You would say this is the best show of the tour. Yeah. Right? Yeah. But I mean, a lot of times they can all be that great of a show. The next newest one can be the best one. It really can't. I mean, last night, I mean, we had the Sunday show last night was unbelievable. And then the Saturday show was unbelievable. So it's a, they're all. I let them know if it's the worst show the weekend. I let them know. Just so y'all know all the other shows are better than this. Blame the crowd.

Is that every one? No, just once, usually once a week. Yeah. Late shows. You tell them all. Every show. Everyone gets worse. I need to apologize. Like, last show, you guys than how the worst. No. Yours is I was the worst. I was the worst on that one. I was the least worst on that one. Those people should be happy.

Linda Hummel. Like Nate, I've ordered number one at McDonald's my whole life. I have a local Baltimore McDonald's today. There was a sign of the drive-thru that said the customers need to be where the mills have changed numbers. I thought immediately of Nate. Yeah. I know, I don't like that. They must have kept number one, though.

You can't change that. I would, it would be, it'd be pretty frustrating if you change number one. That's the thing. I don't even, I mean, it gets blurry past that, but I would think they've changed, you know. I go, dude, I go into a breakfast restaurant every day. You can ask Derek, I go. I'll ask him, so I don't believe you. I go, let me get a number one.

There isn't even numbers. But like the breakfast, it's like, Two eggs, toast. I go, let me get the main one. Whatever your All-Star special is. Yeah, let me get the number one. Yeah. Yeah.

I think Taco Bell used to, my meal was number seven, and that switched. McDonald's been number one. It's moved up on the list. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember any, like, any specific numbers, like TV channels? Oh, sure. Yeah, I remember TBS was seven. Yeah.

Nickelodeum was 22. Disney Channel was 25 when we got that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it now? It's 206 was ESPN growing up with DirecTV in 3.31. You were in the hundreds, huh?

MTV was 331. Whoa. I mean, this is like in high school, in high school, when DirecTV came out. We didn't have a TV growing up. But then you got rich? Well, my parents, you know, some things happened. I mean, that's money right there. We came into one.

From zero channels to hundreds. Yeah, we went straight to the top. Flat screen, too. That was unheard of. Y'all were just saving up the whole time. You're 209, let's see. Yeah, you're doing DirecTV. There's still those channels.

But now I don't know any channels. I know, but DirecTV is the exact same. Yeah. Oh, it is? Yeah, I have DirecTVs. They don't switch it. I've had DirecTV for a long time, too. Do you know any of your high school buddies' phone numbers?

I do. Yeah, I got my buddy Kevin Morrow. It's probably the same numbers. He shouldn't say it. Yeah, no, he still has the same number. He's the only number that I'm, yeah, that I remember him and my dad. I remember my dad. number. Do you know your wife's number?

Oh, my wife's, Lars, I know. Yeah, she's at the same. Yeah, I know. Barely. That's, that might be the only one I don't know. The only phone number you know. Other than my own, yeah. I know my mom's. And my childhood. I remember my kindergarten class in alphabetical order. All right, well, that's, you know, talk to somebody about that. That's a lot. Yeah. I mean, that's easier to see somebody about that. Melissa Lee, Will, Lauren, Josh, Ashton, Zachary, Joseph, Nancy, Conner, Cooper, Juliana, Jessica, Aaron Schuyler. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't care for it even after you did it.

My word. What if she said no, dude? What if you're, what have Lydia said now? Well, I was, I was doing the numbers in my head. I go, well, this is a question. It's not a, yeah. You do ask, that's why you get to ask. Well, would you have just set and had the symphony play like sad songs?

Yeah, probably would have gone into Braveheart or something. she'd have walked out you could have had fun with you go can y'all do Star Wars now yeah and they're like see something done did you go meet with her dad had a time yeah did you do it the same way that walkout house invited him to a fake award yeah Arkansas second quarter gets you sales sales award no I said yeah I was like I'm pretty sure I mean I'm 99% sure but it is yeah has anyone ever said no there is those on Yeah, it shows up on Instagram. Well, sure, yeah.

I think when they say no, it's usually, you know, they can tell. Like it's, you kind of know. Yeah. I like to, if you go, what if you had the most, it was a devastating, a devastating no. But this video was so unbelievable when you post it. It's worth it? Yeah. Well, you might have to because you got to try to move on.

Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah, yeah, you got to post it as a retribute. Yeah. Do you think ever, like, growing up in the 80s, 90s, every, there's so many TV shows and movies where at the altar, speak now forever, hold your peace. Someone speaks up or the bride says, I'm sorry, I can't do this. And you think there's ever been a wedding where that's actually happened? There must be.

It must have happened. That's why they did it, right? Yeah. Yeah, but. If somebody said, speak now, why would they be there? They did Superman movies and I don't think that really happened. Yeah, but I mean, I think that's happened and I bet it happened a lot. I bet it's an old, timey thing that probably happened a lot more.

I would say maybe now it doesn't happen as much. It just became a formality now. Yeah. I would love an email from somebody that said they were at one. And somebody said, I don't think those guys unemployed. He's faking that he has a job. What would they say? Something like that.

Or if they were in love with them or something. Yeah. This guy's lying. He's not a Razorback fan. Greensboro Comedy Zone years ago, I opened for Jay Bliss. I was featuring. And I bombed.

bomb. The set was horrible. And I'd get off stage, and then a guy, they bring a guy on stage to propose to his girlfriend, right after my set. Before the headliner, after I bombed for 20 minutes. Yeah. It's not even like a fun energy in the room. And he proposes to her, he gets down on the knee, and it takes a while for her to say yet. And the crowd starts chanting, say yes, say yes. So she did, but it did not feel good.

I don't know how you don't just say yes. and then yeah we'll sort it out later yeah like you just yeah like that's enough you'd be enough that you should be like you don't need to marry or if she does that like if you can't logically in that moment just go say yes and then once you get off go you're out of your mind no absolutely save us both the embarrassment of this she might just been overwhelmed with the moment yeah i think she was very surprised by it especially because it wasn't like it was a fun night up until then but it could have been it could have been a pleasant yeah she had to come sit up in Aaron's bomb.

Yeah. Like, who wants that? I go, it doesn't feel good up there, doesn't. Yeah. I mean, that's just brutal, like to get, yeah. Did you invite them up? No, the host did. Yeah.

Guy by the name of the bad. Do you think Jay asked that to happen just to get your energy off stage? Let's go. They have to reset the roads. He goes, let someone ask if they want to get married. They go, well, it might not work out. Well, it's better than what Aaron did. I'll pay for the ring.

You know, the next week. It's at least something worth to follow. They have two people in the kitchen that do that. Yeah. Somebody mom. Hey, go up to the proposal thing. Reset the room.

I do try to, after everything we tried to, I do try to, uh, do try to, uh, do kind things for other people that if I could be involved in theirs. Because I know how, like, if somebody's like, hey, it's our, whatever, we're coming to your show. You, we met at your show. Can we, I, I would try my, but now I have, I would not do somebody to propose on stage. Yeah. It's probably annoying for everyone else.

But if I could send like a video or like, yeah, sure. Give a guy somebody a mean-grit to make him look because I know how much it meant the other way. Now I know. I would hope that they don't need you to get that yes to go like. If you're on the fence, call me John Christ. I'll make a video. I'll get her over the edge.

I'll make her a candy. Better call Chris. Yeah. You may have heard of Hello Fresh. They send chef crafter recipes and fresh ingredients to your home. But this summer, they made their biggest menu upgrade yet. This isn't the Hello Fresh you remember. It's bigger.

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Wow. Who is out there? Me and Lydia. And you, you know how to arrive. horses? Clearly, dude. Did you just learn or? This is a cattle drive.

They only take expert horse ride. That's the lady right there. But I mean, did you know how before? There's a video if I'm learning. Oh. No. Yeah, I knew how to. You felt pretty comfortable now, riding horses?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. This is me getting on. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Don't you own a horse? I do on a horse, yeah. Ronald.

I bought him at an Amish horse auction last year in Shipschuan, Indiana. And how's Ronald? that he's well we haven't heard from in a while apparently everybody else there was a big auction everybody was like bidding oh let me get that and then nobody was bidding on this horse like this horse looks unbelievable it's big and all the local farmers were like

they must have seen something I didn't see yeah it was wearing a cast we had to get all these horses we had to get all these cattle to the other end of the pasture but again this is like a five-star resort and I go oh I think they just made this up yeah yeah so these guys get you to pay them to do their job for them.

But I think the one girl could have done it herself. I'm sure. I think it's more of a hassle. Yeah, totally. Fade a lot of us. They were like, dude, do you want to do the cattle drive? Is it just y'all too? Or is it a group? There's another person out there. I know, but is it, are they with the hotel or is it like that?

Yeah, everybody's with the resort. You know how like Yellowstone? Yeah. We are the enemy because they're like, we need to build resorts. Yeah. And I think we put them in business. I felt bad about it. But they were like, we got to get these cattle down to the river. Like, how far did you take them?

I don't know. Enough until you said I'm done. Yeah, and then they go, we'll take it from here. I think I'm good. Yeah, that sounds about right. Let's stop here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's the, he was teaching me how to get off a horse.

This is me getting off a horse. You couldn't be sitting more into that horse. What do you mean? You're just like, I mean, like the horse fills it. Oh, your daughter rides horse. You know, this is not a good, this is not good? No, it's good for it. It's a dispout.

I didn't want you to go down. Come on down. Come on, buddy. You can do it. Yeah. Boom. Boom. The horse.

Yeah, you appreciate it. So we have an expert on Cowboys at the table with us. This is the point. Yeah. So, John, you can, if any of this is not correct, you can let us know. All right. All right, Cowboys, they started in Spain, 1800s, then moved to Mexico, then up to the southwest United States.

Yeah. I mean, are they like a. Yeah, were they like a group? What do you mean they started? Yeah. Well, okay. What is the cowboys? All right.

That's a great question, Aaron. Yeah. Back on getting. Cowboys, an animal herder who tends cattle or ranches in North America. Traditionally, on horseback. Originally, there were more like shepherds. So pretty much, I'm this. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. At first, they were like shepherds, and then they started learning that riding horses can. Which, where do we know of shepherds from? Birth of Jesus, so pretty much the same thing. Yep. And they were originally called cowhands or cow pokes. And then...

Cow pokes. I've heard that. Yeah. And you would think Texas would be cowboys, but cowpunchers is what this says. Now, a wrangler, do you know what a wrangler is, John? I was doing a little bit of that also. That's just someone who tends to the horses. With the lasso?

Oh, without going out and getting them. When the horses are done doing the work, he takes on. Yeah, he focused more on the horses than the cattle. Yeah, he's the most a caretaker of the horse. And then the term cowboy became just more of a coming during tombstone in the late 1800s. There were like outlaws. They called themselves a cowboys. They're like a gang.

Yeah. And it became like a romantic thing to be, right? Once movies and TV shows started making, then it became very romantic. Because I think I like, I remember wanting to be a cowboy when I was a kid. I think everybody did. I was an Indians. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We used to play.

Yeah. Yeah. How did that game go? I think the Cowboys would... Well, I can't, right. I don't remember, actually. I don't remember how the game went. Actually, now that I think about it.

I think they all met to... But I think one, one would be one and one would be the other. Yeah, they were really. It was... The titles were loose. Yeah. It was a competition. Yeah.

I think people were just excited to be the Indians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were the Cowboys. Okay. Yeah. And so you would just, like, fight. Henry Cho. as a joke says he was always the cook.

That's what his first Tonight Show said. Y'all remember playing Army as a kid? He's pretty much hated that game. It was the neighborhood against me. Shut up. After the Civil War, about a fourth of cowboys were former slaves. They went out west and already had some skill sets that helped them and they became cowboys.

Um, did you do any branding while you were there, John? No, I tried to get my logo on one of them. Do you guys... Well, the horse, okay, so the brand. Yeah. J.C. Yeah. Well, you know, can brand, I, like in Yellowstone, they get one on their chest. Yeah, I haven't watched Yellowstone.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. But the horse can, you know, if you get a brand and then you're, you get traded to a new, you know, a new ranch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So a couple of those. Torse had like three brands on them. Yeah. It's kind of like a Carfax. Yeah. Well, once they, this is back and before there was like fences and stuff like that.

So they're all open range. So they had to start branding them so you could identify cattle I'm talking about. Fences weren't invented then? Not barbed wire fences. I don't know, but just a. Yeah. I think when you got thousands of miles of, yeah, of, or not thousands of miles, but thousands of acres at least. Yeah.

That's a big fence. I can see that. It's expensive too, right? and they wouldn't they don't really go they don't try to escape there's nowhere to escape too they just want to eat so wherever the food is they just go oh yeah everybody's like hey that those are ours and they're like all right you send them back oh okay yeah yeah that's what we were doing pretty much yeah i remember high school buddy mine got uh he he branded himself with a coat hanger yeah my buddy my cousin did that try to do the like the tennessee logo was a coat hanger on

his arm it looked yeah awful dude you couldn't even tell it was the tea with he heated it up yeah heated it up to put it in the fire and put it on the Sarasol. Someone tried to do it with, uh, had a buddy that tried to do it. And it was, what up? Anything in particular or just like a shape? Like a cross. Yeah, I think it was like the beginning of a letter or something. And then it's just, it was hurt.

And then it's, we only got the top and it just messed his body up for the rest of his life. Like, it's crazy. You do something so dumb. And then you're like, you can see it to this day. Oh, where is it on him? Shoulder. A brand. This was just on his arm, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's just so... You're like, dude, and I could have been easily peer-pressured into doing that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and you just have... You just have it there for the rest of your life.

But if... So somebody would... You would... You would have to, you... If somebody was like... I think you just sit there and you just wait... I don't think you don't. No, no. Nobody can do that.

Well, you're a coward if you don't. That's how you do it. Yeah, right. Yeah, what are you? It's your initiation. What are you not our friend? Yeah. Yeah, fraternity's.

that. Yeah, mine didn't, but yeah. So the whole purpose of you being a... You have a logo, but your fraternity. Yeah, I do a logo. Yeah, what's your logo? No, it's just my hair. Oh, actually, I used to have a logo. I don't have a hair. I don't have a logo anymore. I remember right now. Oh, your hair logo? The spiky hair. Yeah, I did used to have a logo. Yeah, there's... Oh, my gosh. Look at that. That's how they know

what they're seeing. That's tough, dude. Yeah. That was a rebrand. That's unbelievable. That's how they... We're going to see John Christ. Oh, is he the one that's known about his hair? No, yeah. Is his whole act about his hair and eyebrows?

No, no, no, no. He doesn't mention that at all. Somehow. I all grew the logo, but I still have the same hair cut. He doesn't look like that anymore. No, no, no. He still looks like that. Yeah, he switched the logo.

Unless he's switching periodically to a Amish guy. That's a good-looking logo. Tell me that's not a good. comedy logo. That's good. I don't understand why your eyebrows are being shown. I guess just sort of context.

Yeah. Context. Like, so your eyebrows are literally just there for context so people don't go, what is going on? So they know that it's hair. Why would you not do your eyes?

Nah, they'd cut the eyes. You don't have time. I think we paid an agency like thousands of dollars for this, I believe. Yeah. You're like, hey,

and this is what they came up with. And they just know. You're like, I love it. You go, your butt. You know, we can do a black and white picture of the most common male haircut on earth. Send it in. The same people do in Cracker Barrel now.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. That was the same. Same agent. You had to get rebranded. Like, right? Yeah. Hey, I got a good plan.

Let's go with the hair. What would you do? Not the hair. His logo? What would your logo be? Oh. Everybody has an icon. I wish Bates, you should have a logo.

Yeah. I would like you to have one. A car. A car? It's easier to drive to her. It could be... Yeah, it'd be fun. Just looking brazzled.

Yeah, worried. No, his would be worried. It'd be a worried face. He's just a guy who... Yeah. Backed in the corner. This? It's the emoji.

Yeah. What you do? Is there emoji for worried? Yeah, that's what I'm worried. That's not worried. Oh, yeah. That a worried emoji? Yeah, his would have to be a worried, yeah.

Yeah, that would be his. Yeah, that's, yeah, I mean, that's almost, he's got it all. Yeah. So he's got it, worried face. I'd go to that tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope you do, because he's worried, ain't nobody showing up. I'd go to that tour.

That's a good one. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about something almost all of us deal with, bad hair days. But what if those bad hair days could become a thing of the past? Wouldn't that be insane? With the I Restore Elite, you can say goodbye to thinning hair and hello to fuller, healthier locks. The I Restore Elite, I got it right here on the counter here or the desk. It's clinically proven to help regrow hair using 300 lasers and 200 LEDs that send light therapy directly to your scalp.

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One of our producers, Abigail, one of our producers, like people don't know who she is. She has been seeing great results with this. thing. Get yourself the gift of hair confidence this year. For a limited time only, our listeners are getting a huge discount on the I Restore Elite when you use code Nate at IvorStore.com. Head over to IvorStore.com and use code Nate for our show's exclusive discounts on the I Restore Elite. Please support our show. Do us a favor. Tell them we sent you. Hair loss is frustrating. You don't have to fight it alone thanks to I Restore. All right. Let's talk about some cowboy attire, John. Tell me. You're wearing it all.

well you can't wear uh you gotta wear chaps okay do you know why just because you know getting on and off the horse and you know cutting animals out of fences and going down to the you know freedom you know like a is it like an apron for your pants is that what a chaps are did they serve some other well we used to go to this i used to open for this uh thunder down under the show in Vegas and they would wear those what used to open for it yeah is that comedy what what's thunder down under when did you do that it's like a magic mic show yeah

Are you serious? Why did you open for them? Just scheduling-wise, it was in the theater before. I, it was, I... What? Look up Thunder Down Under. No, we... This is a family show.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Don't show it if it's great. It was there. They go the John Christ... It's a popular interactive mail review show. Yeah, John's show was in... It was like advertised in the Thunder Down Under Theater. Where is it?

It's in the Thunder Down Under Theater, but the seats... You didn't open for... them. No, no. My show was before there. Oh. Yeah, I don't know if you... You said you opened for them. No, I said my show was... No, you did. You know, I opened... You were on the road with them for years. Yeah. My show... But I was like, why are the, like, the tables... I opened for the Boston Red Sox. Yeah. Let me just say whatever we want. I mean, now it doesn't even matter. I was before them at a different venue. I'm in Chicago soon. I'm going to follow the Michael Jordan's

dynasty team that he did. Yeah, it's a weird. years behind but uh he's opening for me no but all the tables were like you know i like the tables at zanis all the tables are like reinforced yeah oh because they're going to walk on them yeah yeah yeah because they're i was like why are these tables like like bolted down and they're like well because i wanted to move them because i don't think at the time i was selling the tickets yeah that the thunder down under were selling and probably still not now but uh did you stick around watch with the same dressing room that is true it's like there's a bunch of like lassoes and

trampolines back there and I was like what trampolines there's a lot going on in that show you guys i mean i don't know what was that they were wearing chaps though no one think you're yeah yeah once you said lasso no one no one had trampoline on their bingo card for the next thing they were nice guys though real nice guys australia julia mcculles got a very funny joke about them yeah uh chippendales at the excalibalber hotel thank you it's still there yeah that is wild and it's still there Yeah, I think it's still probably a big draw. It's the same theater. That's exactly where it was.

Yeah. Also. Do you wish, but like, did you get on one of those tables? Wow. Would you like it? You might like that. I want to, uh, my show. A can't that's in the ground.

Yeah, I was, dude, I was thinking about for my tour. I don't want to ruin it. But a stool that is, uh, I kick it and it smashes into like 50. pieces. Wouldn't that be awesome? Like some of the fake furniture made for like actors. It's all like put together and I go I'd like lean on it and just go pretend to fall? Oh like a

Pratt fall. Yeah. You said kick it. Oh like you want to pratt fall you want to fall down on it. And then every yeah and then it would be everybody would be like what are we watching this blows my mind. I think that would give them more direction than they have now they go

what are we watching. That's good memories back there at the Excalibur. Yeah, come a long way. I'm going on. I'm going to be in Vegas next week, not at the Excalibur. Yeah, I'm going to the same theater. The win.

The win? The wind's great. That's awesome. Yeah, I'll be there next weekend. I'm going to go over to the Excalibur just to see what the guys are doing. See what the boys are up to. It's probably new guys. Yeah, they can fly down to the wind.

I would think so, yeah. Hang out. You should come down there. Can I get the same thing? We can get a table for you. I was about to say. I didn't want to, yeah. A chair.

What would you do? Would you set it? How quick would you have to pratfall? Well, I was thinking, like, coming out, like, one time if I was, like, if I had, like, doves that, like, flew down from the balcony that, like, landed on my shoulder. Yeah. That would be awesome. You're joking around, but this is the stuff you used to do.

I know, dude. I'm trying to bring it back, dude. Yeah, I think it's great. Yeah, if you do it, I'm not against it. I'm for you. Like, I think I am for it for you. but I just want to be honest

I just want people to know this is how hard it is to write a joke and I need all the stand-up comics that when they when they see all this stuff in the younger generation they're like these guys it's very hard to write a joke

it's hard to write jokes I'd call up every pigeon salesman in the southeast before I would I could just write it my dad can probably help you know he's definitely got a pigeon guy I do remember we have the same age I do remember I said

I want to have pyro in the show and he said that's for comics he can't write jokes and I go okay his dad said that no our agent said that and I go well fair

yeah I think that's why I cut everything I still have the face pain in my pocket in case if it's bombing I didn't know but I could see if you did like a circus

olay type show yeah like that's what I mean with pigeon I'm being serious about it like if you had the pigeons you had that If you really were like in this like kind of themed kind of thing, I could, I could, that would make sense.

I mean, if you go do that, you're very physical and just one, I'm standing right here. And then as soon as I move a sword comes from into the stage, you're like, how did they, but it's comedy. But you've got to address it all. Yeah, it's all worked into the show. And then what are you going to do? Just do stand up next to the sword the whole? time? Well, I didn't quite get the idea work out. We even flesh it out too much. I was going to go do something where I was talking and then I was, dude, but I was mouthing the words and they

didn't know it. And then I moved the mic and then I closed my mouth and it's still talking. Yeah. And they were like, and they're like, what is this? And so then the joke is like, what you're saying doesn't figure out the punchline. We just want to be like amazed people. Well, that's got to be the punchline. Yeah. I don't think you get another punchline. I think the punchline is that and then you step out of the way that source it's kind of like a magic trick yeah they go I thought he was telling that bad joke

but it's he wasn't it was somebody else well if you go I want to make it like if I had you ever had that audio that it's like thinking is this something no I'm just thinking of your head because the audio was thinking like if I go I come out on stage I'm not talking but I'm doing audio in my head I'm like look at that guy

in the blue shirt oh yeah oh yeah yeah And he actually, yeah, but I do it live. Like a really well-orchestrated. I'd have to do it 10 minutes before the show. And they were like, look at that guy. I can't believe he's in the second row wearing that outfit like that. So here's what I would say. With that, I don't know, you might need to be the voice.

Or do you want to be the person? You would need someone to... He's both. It's like his thoughts. So you're going to have to pre-record it. Yeah, but it has to be like five minutes before the show. But I'll be like... Yeah, that's tough. I would think you could go, you could, you could,

you could send someone out there that's maybe very funny physically and then you go hey I want to just I'm going to roast the crowd or whatever and I want you to but you got that guy for 500 bucks a night for your whole tour

and he's on your bus and he's this the goofy guy that has to go sit in the crowd and then you lose a seat to sell. Wait I mean I don't even the world that you're on is another planet it is insane wait with the guy

I haven't done all these things you're saying oh you're saying a guy you need to bring a guy yeah okay bring a guy on the road and he's the guy wearing the goofy hat

sitting there and I'm like what and then he's like I work in maintenance and then we have a whole thing yeah and I got to bring this guy yeah for the whole tour yes because I do sometimes I talk to the crowd

yeah and then everybody was like that was so that was so unbelievable I can't believe that happened Is that real? Unbelievable. Yeah, I'm like, I don't know this person. Right.

Yeah. It is, yeah. How did you come up with a divorce joke? Yeah. What are the odds? What are the odds that you knew this person worked at a facility? This guy, this is unbelievable. Did you just make that up?

How did he have a baby? He had, you're telling me that guy had two babies. You had something for that? That's what you're telling me? This guy's a genius. We'll do it tonight. tried tonight on the show. But if you took a guy with you every, the word would get out quickly, right?

Pretty quick. He's a plan. I'm not going to I'm not mentioned the comic's name, but I saw this at Zanies where he goes he would like the closer would I think you know who I'm talking about. He would look at women's purses. He goes, give me that thing and he would look through it. And the first two were like, you know, they have

like, whatever. And then the third one was, he's like, give me that one. And he pulled unbelievable stuff out of it. They would never be in a purse and you're like I mean the crowd was on the roof yeah yeah yeah and then the late show the same thing the same purse the purse was a plan but it was unbelievable I was like this is the best thing yeah yeah yeah it's it's an act it's a show it's a show it's a lot of uh I mean he was pulling stuff these medications he was pulling it was and he had this it was like I was a young

comic it was here and I was like I would never be able to do this this this This is the best. This is the most I'm going to... It's a good point for young comedians that are starting because they see this crowd work and they see this stuff like that. That's an exact situation. I would imagine that person had that work out. It has worked out a couple of times,

but then it would be very hit and miss when he did it the other way. And then you're going to do it enough. You're going to get enough jokes out of it that, you know what? Everybody's purse is going to be kind of roughly the same. You might get lucky and have some crazy. stuff, but overall, it's going to be essentially the same kind of thing, so you can make whatever jokes you want to go do. And so if you kept going and doing that at every show in every city, you're going to naturally kind of have crowdwork, and it's all going to be made up.

But smartly, the best way to do it would then to do that. Just plan it. And then you're a showman. You have to sell that this has never happened before to this crowd. And that's what I think when comics think about crowdwork they think man it's crazy that you're coming up with all this stuff and all this you're like it's once you do a little bit of crowd work i mean look i'm not good at crowd work i'm not a crowdwork person uh but i was around it so new york that's all they did like everybody i mean every there's only so many things and you have you kind of have an stock answer for everything when people do cruise ships i mean we would i mean i i did it you you would, you could have a joke that works on cruise ship.

When I go to Vegas, when I go to Vegas, I have a little Vegas chunk that I do up top. You might think I'm making it up at the time, but I've just learned if it's very well in this Vegas chunk. I don't really, I could maybe do it if I'm in another casino, but otherwise it's like fits very much in the moment. And no one's going to see you again in Vegas. I mean, yeah, not in a sense. Like that's, but that's how it kind of is. And so. Only gambling I do is at the buffet.

Yeah, that kind of stuff. I also say the guy in the purse comic is no longer touring. Take that for what it's worth. How about I do, so all fall is my stand-up show. How about I do another, this is the prop show? Yeah. Then this is not stand-up. A whole tour of just props.

Yeah, this might fall tour is all straight stand-up. Might have some music cues and some videos. I think you could do it. I think you could try it here. I think you could try it here. Then it would be like, oh, no, have you seen this? prop show. I would, for the

Dateland Live show, you could let's throw in, I'll let you do some props. Yeah. His dad brings props. You go, my dad, you could,

I would, I'm not a magician. It's just, it's just illusionary. Yeah, but he's props. We have to go out there and set it all up

between comics. It's a misdirection. It's hard to, for an eight minutes set. It's hard to open mic. I'm going to be honest with you. It's hard to work into an open mic. Right.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. But like I was with a guy. Yeah. Oh, go ahead. I was with a guy that I was featuring.

No, I was headlining and he, you know this guy. He did his, his closer. He pulls out a rose. Yeah, I know. Yeah. And everybody's like, wait, so he said that rose in his pocket for 30 minutes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It kills.

It does kill. Yeah. He opened for me. I had to follow it all week. I was jealous. Tell the story when you had to follow it. Yeah. I followed him and it was a college town and I bombed.

This is probably 10 years ago. There was no green room at this club. up. So I panicked. I didn't want to walk. Everyone walked past me because it was showing so bad. I went into the bathroom, went into the stall, locked it, and everyone came in there saying how bad the show was. For 20 minutes. Everyone's like, dude, that was terrible. I was in there listening. I couldn't get out. Yeah. He could never find an opening to go. Because people kept coming in and think, everybody almost done. Yeah. It just sounds like him. Yeah, you almost threw in there, pal.

Imagine you had to come out. Oh, that's the nightmare, dude. Every time you go to the bathroom and a comedy club and they don't have like a private one, you're just out there, you're just like, please, please don't just be like, that guy was terrible. Oh, man, there's no great, there's nowhere to go. You're going to stay on the stage. Yeah. Or everyone walked past you when they leave.

Yeah. How long were you in there? Oh, 20 minutes. Until everybody cleared out. And I also had to wait longer when nobody was in there for a significant amount of time just to make positive it was clear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to look at anyone in the eye.

Yeah. That was tough. And then you saw him, he was, where you been, bud? This crowd's been crazy. Yeah. He's signing an autograph. He's signing. Sold 40 shirts.

Too many flowers. Was it frustrating because you also had a rose in your pants? That's why you were in the stall because you go, if I knew it, that was my. thing. I can tell, why, hey, bro. Can you imagine two rows in your pants, comics do a show, and they don't know that the one's doing it, whoever goes, or if the other one finds out, he goes, you got to let

me go on first. Dude, are you doing the rose thing? Yeah. Shoot. I'm doing it. I did a comedy festival, a competition once, and two comics, they had, like, the exact same joke. Yeah.

And they had to, like, hey, this show, I get to do the joke, this show, I mean, it was the exact same joke. It's hard to write jokes. And I think they had made some kind of agreement. They were both in the finals at a theater. And they both did the same joke. So just the second guy looked insane because he just did. I mean, it was the exact same.

Yeah. I think the first guy just was like, no, I'm doing it. It's one of my better jokes. I'm doing it. Yeah, I would think that one of you gets to do it. I would think the, yeah, I would think the competitor in me would be like, I don't need to do it. Yeah. And I'll figure it out.

You can have it. I would say, you can have it. You can have it. Yeah, I got other stuff. Yeah. But it was a good joke. Yeah. Do you remember the joke?

You can't say it or like? It was a joke about like serial killers. They were like why. The joke was everyone thinks all serial killers are white. Yeah. That's just because the black ones get caught more quickly. Yeah. That was the bit.

It was a really funny bit. And it was like it was obvious they didn't steal it from each other. But it was just the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's too specific.

specific to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, where it was like, it's kind of phrased not on the same show. They're both two really good comics. Yeah. It's stellar. Oh, yeah, that's tough. Like, I wonder, yeah, you'd either be like, look, neither one of us do it or yeah. Flip a coin.

Flip a coin for it. All right. All right. Yeah, I forget. Labor Day weekend. Labor Day weekend. I think you're home. I'm home. And then, is that like the ninth and stuff?

31st. 31st and the first. Oh, yeah. I am home. Yeah, nice. Yeah, home. And then the next week, I got Denver coming up. We're about to be announced in some 2026 dates, just so people are aware, because I get asked about going to other things. We've got a lot of cities we're announcing for 2026. Nice. And then, yeah, and it'll be after this tour, it will be a, I will go some time without, because I'm going to try. to shoot some movies and stuff.

Go to Cowboy Camp. Yeah. I mean, it could be, yeah, we could be, we could be taken, yeah, I think. But yeah, I got that. And then the Emmys. Yeah, it's great. It's, it's, September 14th. 14th.

We have very fun, we have some pretty fun ideas. CBS has been awesome. And. Sybis. Riding, Sybis. Yeah, no combat. That was a good callback. That was a good one.

Yeah, would he callback comedian? But, yeah, they've been fun. And, like, we have some fun ideas. We have some really, really fun ideas that I'm excited for you all to see that I, you know, was almost a little surprised CBS let us do. That's cool. But there's not nothing. It fits.

Don't worry. It's not anything that you don't, you would not expect for me. But it's, uh. Are you doing a monologue? Yeah, he's hosting. Yeah. Yes, but we, there's, there's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we got a plan, we got plans. We got some pretty good plans.

Some props on stage. Yeah, we got props. I'm going to come out and I'm going to do the chairfall. Dude, if you take my swords idea. It's all the ideas you had today. Yeah, I'm going to do all the sword. I'm going to do multiple swords. Pigeons, doves.

Yeah. This Sunday, I'm at Zanies in Chicago. 4 p.m. show, come on out. September 5th. I'm in Cincinnati. September 6th and 7th in Indianapolis, September 13th, Brookhaven, Mississippi,

September 21st, in Perriguel, Arkansas. There you go. Anything you want to plug, John? Any dates you got to come on? I'm going on my stand-up tour. Okay, no props.

No props. But I don't want to plug anything. I'm looking for... Mostly not props. Yeah. Mostly, yeah. You should not say no. Don't say no problem.

It's a stand-up tour. And we're so... see what happens and expect the unexpected yeah i might stumble upon something that i think the whole crowd needs to see and if there is a prop guy you know watching yeah those videos you guys used to make in the town when you got there were very good they were they were they were yeah well what about if i always think that's one of the ideas that i like uh it was i always loved that idea and i was like man that would be such a good idea to uh we drive around the city for the cities it was is really and john would be editing those like, dude, 30 minutes for the show, like, air drop it to the guy.

I mean, it was like that. So stressful. That curve. It was so stressful. It was a lot of work to do those every day. No, yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, the audience can tell once they, you know, and they go, yeah, dude, that video is so funny. It felt like you were distant during the hour performance. But that video was locked in. People still come out to me and say those videos were wrong. No, no, no. It's, but that idea was so great. And so smart. And your show was great, too. Yeah.

Once you have your act, you kind of can... It kind of ease off. Yeah. Yeah. And so the, but yeah, the stressfulness of that, I'd imagine. Yeah, you got to go drive around, too. And get a, yeah, we'd have to go to a gas station. But you not have a lot of them now?

Could you just replay them? I mean, there would be, yeah, I would, I would... The cool part about it was, it was John in the opener, and then he would bring up the opener in that video. So the opener would, like, walk right out. I was like, get in there, bro, we're back at the church. Oh, this just happened today. Like it was, that was the appeal of it, I think.

Anyway. Yeah, I'm going on. I'm Vegas this weekend and then I'm out until December. 35 cities, I think. Nice. I'm not saying there's not going to be any props, but we'll see. Yeah. We got Aaron Weber here, Phoenix, Arizona, the Desert Ridge Improv, followed by Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado, Phoenix and Denver.

Come see me. Is that your logo? Google? No, right there and below there. It's Aaron Weber, real Aaron Weber. Google. Is that your logo? Oh, no, no, that's something else.

I thought he had a logo, dude. Oh, it looks like a logo. What is it? I don't have a logo. Beacons is what I use for. That's the Beacons. Yeah, he's right. He's soft launching it, soft launching the logo.

And he draws it on a piece of paper. A little logo. See what we got here. And then. They just, make, no logo. That's not a logo The logo I don't think is your name Your logo used to be the NB

Yes It was the NB was like a But it's your name I think I could use the logo But I don't know if It's not hate my hair It'd be the eyes though at this point It'd be too big eyes

Actually it could be too big dumb eyes So maybe I do end up getting a logo But I think I waited The appropriate time to do it and I did not do it. You missed the logo window. Right out to date. You missed the logo window.

You went logo, started comedy. Yeah. And then you... Logo first. You got logo first. He had a guy that was like had a nickname. Like before he was, he was an open mic. Oh, yeah.

I go, dude, but I don't know when you choose one. Yeah, because planning is like the fun part. Because he had a job. He had like a real job and he didn't want to be like caught doing his real job. He actually doing it is the hard part. It's all the other stuff. Planning is so much fun. Yeah, that's a good time.

Everybody loves planning. All right. We love you. Have a great, great. I hope you had a great, or yeah, I hope you had a great Labor Day, right? No, this comes out this week, so.

Oh, yeah. Hope you will have. Have a great Labor Day. See you. Bye. Hey!