The Nateland Podcast - 269: #269 Tobacco

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

Nate is getting ready for the Emmys so Brian, Aaron, and Dusty hold down the podcast fort this week. Aaron declares his hair as a new color, Brian shares stories about his nicotine addiction, and Dusty gives his analysis of Alabama's football woes. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp- BetterHelp.com/Nate As the largest therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Find the one with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/Nate  #ad Chime: Chime.com/NATE Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open and account in 2 minutes at Chime.com/NATE. Chime. Feels like progress.  IQBAR: Text NATE to 64000 to get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. MasterClass: MasterClass.com/NATE Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com/NATE.

Fall is here. Kids are back in school. Vacations are over, and it's officially time to start the cozy season, which means time to slide into some bombas. You know bombas, the most comfortable socks, slippers, teas, and underwear out there, made from premium materials that actually makes sense for this time of year. And it's not just socks. Bombas has designed slippers that make it hard to leave the house. From Sherpa line, Sunday slippers, to packing-friendly gripper slippers, and even waterproof EVA, Friday slides. And the best part for every item you buy, Bambas donates one to someone experiencing homelessness. Over 150 million items have been donated thanks to customers. They really are my favorite sock. I'm wearing them right now. They are the best quality. I never realized I had bad socks until I tried Bambas. Now they're all I want to wear. Head over to bambas.com slash Nate, and use code Nate for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash Nate. Code Nate at checkout. Hello, folks. And hey, Bear. I'm Brian Bates, as always. And I can really say that as always.

It's been... I'm pretty close to being able to say that. Yeah, that's true. Unless I have a kid or something. I don't understand what you mean. You mean you're always here. Always here. Because you're blowing up.

You're tapping out every other week. But you said, I'm Brian Bates as always. Well, sometimes... And then you're like, I'm pretty close to saying that too. And I was like, you're... Sometimes you're other people. I am becoming more like Brian, unfortunately. Over the last five years, Brian and I are...

Unfortunately. We're converging into the same person. Why is that unfortunate? Well, it's good in a lot of ways. I think I'm becoming a kinder, more considerate person, but secretly way more mean, that kind of, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

I just met we're here. Look, you got a lot going on. Dusty's exciting to have you back. It's been a minute. I'm pumped to be here. But, you know, what happened was I had to be out one week, and you guys did two episodes in that. And why do you think you picked that one week?

Because we were doing two episodes. Yeah, exactly. Well, let me introduce my co-host. I'm Brian Bates, along with Aaron Weber and Dusty Slite. And I'm always. Dusty Slat. As always. I'm a lot.

I'm breakfast. I'm boat ramp. But you are always here. I like breakfast. I still think you should run with the, it's the, you know, best meal of the day.

Mm-hmm. They call me breakfast because it's the most important meal of the day. I like it. But is that true? Is breakfast the most important meal of the day? I think they say it's not true,

but they still say it. Yeah. Just don't worry about it. Come on, Aaron. you know in european countries they say they eat a light breakfast right and then they have a big lunch that they'll eat like for two hours and then light dinner but their GDPs like 30 million they don't do anything and then they take a four hour nap after lunch yeah america we're getting it done and we're dying at 50 of a heart yeah no exactly i'm like i like i like the two hour

lunch once you just go to europe leave us alone yeah get out of here commie yeah well I don't I don't know if I want to go to a communist country right yeah I know I don't think those lunches are two hours there's not enough food two hours in a line yeah

I'm glad to have you back I'm pumped to be here yeah like it went on Nateland this weekend to an end to the Nateland YouTube channel for the premiere of Maggie Hughes DePaolo oh yeah very funny set her showcase premieres this Friday night September 12th.

We're also taping Ryan Hamilton's Netflix special two shows October 4th at the Neptune Theater in Seattle and a few tickets left for the 7 p.m. and tickets still available for the second show at 9.30. Maggie is very funny. She's going to do the show with me in Chicago later this year, November. That's great. November 8th is for the record.

Yeah, that's great. That's great. Where were you? Well, I went to Austin, sorry. And I did kill Tony. All right. Comes out tonight. So it'll be out by the time this podcast comes out.

Should be. Yeah. Pretty excited. How was that? It was great. I thought it was a fun episode. I, you know, for that show, I don't think it got too wild. And I, I had tons of fun.

Were you mean to people? Did you go in with the mentality of like, I'm going to be kind or am I just going to say what comes to my head? Well, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I played around with it. Like, would I go in high? But once I was in there, I was just like, to me, it's just fun to like mess around with people. Yeah, sure. There's no need to really make fun of anyone.

Yeah. You can mess around with what they're doing without being, you know. And I felt like that was the vibe of the whole show. I felt like that whole episode, nobody was really making fun of anybody too hard. Yeah. Just messing around, having fun. Who else was on? A comic named Martin Phillips out of Austin.

and he's a regular on the show, but never done panel before. There's a little buzz going on in your headphones, or is it just me? I have it too. Yeah. I don't think it's in the feed, though. I think it's just the headphones.

But he had never done the panel, so it was really fun because I didn't want to, you know, I'd never done the panel. I didn't want it to be like somebody that did panel a million times, and then I'm trying to get a word in. Right, yeah, yeah. I felt like it was a good balance of, of us saying things.

And then honestly, I don't really remember any of the comics. There was so many. Yeah. And there was a couple of Nashville people that I didn't know. Uh-huh. You know. Yeah. It's getting worse.

I think you turn the knob the wrong way. And it's now it's completely gone. Now it's completely gone. Good job, Chase. I mean, yeah. Just stay, don't move in your chair at all. Wherever you're at right now. Tristan, stay over here.

Did you come back when I moved back this way? I don't know. No, no, it's not back. As soon as you got up to fix it, it was like, all right, I'll do it. Yeah, yeah, go ahead. We're leaving all this in, by the way. Yeah, it's completely gone now. Yeah, it sounds great.

Yeah. But it was great. I mean, I've done the mothership before. I really like it there. Sixth Street in Austin is too much for me. I took a walk before the show and still daylight out. Turned into a run. Yeah.

I mean, there's a lot going on out there. It's too much for me. But the mothership is really great. I really like it there. And everyone was very nice to me. They always are. That's great. But I think it's funny when I got back here in the green room,

there's a sign telling people not to smoke and vape in the green room. And in the mothership, I mean, it is anything goes. That's what you love it. And I do like that. And yeah, but the show was fun. I mean, I, I don't know, had it just built up that it was going to be so hard. But Tony was very nice. He was very nice to me and made the show very easy.

Great. I'm excited to see it, man. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Me too. So I got some, you know, I don't think I'm, I don't think I revolutionized the show on my episode. But it was, I think it went well. Well, we're glad to have you back.

I'm pumped to be back. Yeah. That the buzzing that was going through our headphones was really, messing me up. And I was having a hard time formulating thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. So. You're doing way better now. But, you know, I have been, I just went to, I went to Auburn. I got this hat. I found a nice corduroy hat of the old Auburn logo. That's a nice old school logo, man. I haven't seen that in a long time. And, you know, there's a picture of me and my mom at Tumers Corner where she's wearing kind of a trucker hat with the old logo on it.

Oh, that's fun. So I found this and I got it. And I had a great time in all. I did a place called the, it's called the G-O-G-U-E, the J-O-G-U-E, the J-N-Soo-E. I've been calling it the Gogue. Yeah, that's what I would call it. For, you know, I don't know, months. It's only been around for five years.

Yeah, so it's hard to shake that habit. Yeah, okay. Well, I just was like, I've been making videos, hey, I'm coming to. the Gogue. And then I get there and they go, yeah, it's called the Gouge. And I'm still not sure if that's right, to be honest with you. You go, but they'll know what I'm talking about. But I like to think it's like rouge. Isn't that how rouge? No, I think even that is a U and the G is switched. But either way, it was great. Rogue. Yeah. Maybe I think about rogue. But that would be Gogh. Yeah, you're right.

No mind. But I just, I really enjoyed myself. You know, I've always, um, because I, I grew up in Opelika. Yeah. And Auburn is like the nice side of the two. I love Opelika, but Auburn, it's very clear that Auburn's the nice side of the two. You're from the other side of the tracks. Yeah, so I've always had this like kind of inferiority complex when it comes to Auburn.

But I hung out there for three days. I stayed at a nice place downtown called the Collegiate Hotel. Okay. The Collegiate. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know how to pronounce it either. But college it.

But there was a. a game, you know, kind of a nothing game. Yeah. But it was in town. Yeah. So I took my daughter walking around the city and it was fun. And Auburn is so nice. It is very nice.

It's a great college town. Yeah. It's just like. That's what I think of when I think of a college town. I still think of Auburn. I was just out on a park bench with my buddy after the game. We were having cigars and I didn't go to the game, but I was just out there. And people were just walking by and it's just everybody.

just seemed great. Just seemed nice and friendly and everybody seemed in shape, too. My wife noticed that. She was like, she actually said, it's not a lot of fat people around here and which is weird for, you know, this part of the country.

And I agree. I mean, we're eating. It's weird for everywhere. Yeah. Let's be honest. Yeah, it is. And, you know, because we're eating. And I, you know, I had fraud. I can't, I can't be there and not eat jimbobs.

Oh, I got some Jim Bob shirts. I forgot to wear it. that's too bad you got us one too right no i never did but um i was asking about your size for our sizes that three x shut it down huh i got you get three x just goes my buddy was like i can't i can't give out a three x kill our budget yeah cost 40 dollars to make i'm not getting it now i messed up and forgot to get those but uh well not to get too much in a college football talk, but it is kind of fun. You know, Alabama's not having the best season so far. Yeah. They started off with a pretty tough loss. And even if you're not a college football

fan, the meltdown among Alabama fans has been pretty fun to watch. I saw a video go viral on TikTok of a woman outside of a gas station. She's asked what she would do if she won the power ball. And she said, I'll tell you what I'd do the first 70 million. I'm buying out Kaelin' Boar's contract getting a heck out of Alabama. Yeah. It's so much fun. They can't handle a mediocre. I mean, they're still going to be a good team, but they just can't handle it because they've been so good. I don't know how you expect a guy to win when you give him a $70 million buyout. It's like, what is your motivation to win? You're like, all I got to do is not be good and they'll fire me and pay me $70 million. Why would I win? Who cares about a reputation?

Yeah. You can still get fired for cause, though, right? Well, yeah, but, like, it just don't win. I think it's got something to do with the name. The name's too hard to say. DeBoer? Kaylon, DeBois, too much. The best coaches at Alabama were Paul, Gene, and Nick. You got to keep it simple.

Yeah. You got to keep it simple. Bear. Yeah, yeah, Paul. Paul Bear, Brian. Yeah, you got to keep it simple. That's interesting theory, but. Kaylin DeBeer, it's too much.

Now, Kalin DeBeer. I didn't even know how to say his name. Yeah, DeBoer. DeBoer. I'm pretty sure. I don't know. I don't know how to pronounce anything today. Anyway.

Speaking of DeBoar, Aaron, what were you doing this weekend? Well, I'd like to say, if you don't mind, that's very funny. Go ahead, Dusty. You know, then Sunday night I went to Chattanooga. I went to the comedy catch. They had a 40th anniversary show. Yeah. And I went there, did that show last night.

It was a lot of fun. I just want to say it. It's a great club. The whole family was there. Yeah. It was very exciting. The Alfonos. Yeah, the Alfonos.

We got to rag on Michael Alfano a little bit for putting us in bad hotels all these years and all that. I wish I was there. And the first, I remember one time he put me in a condo and he goes, park under the street lamp so your car doesn't get broken into it. Good advice in general, I guess. Yeah, but it was great. And my car didn't get broken into. And you know what?

I stayed in the train car, like that train hotel. Oh, did you? The Choochoo? Yeah, yeah. But it's like now like the Chalette. I don't know how to pronounce it either. Why is everything so hard to pronounce? So let's just a hotel chelette, chalet, yeah. But don't put a tea in there. Did you use the valet or does you just park? I park. Okay. Because I couldn't pronounce it. I was like, I don't, I don't want to have to go. I'd like to use this service. So you stayed last night? I stayed last night. But I stayed in one of the. the train cars. Wow. Very nice. I didn't know they really did that. I thought that was something they used to do. Well, Danielle was saying they used to be real gross, but Hotel Chalet bought it out and remodeled them. So if you go to the Comedy Catch Comedy Club in Chattanooga,

there's a choo-choo train right outside of it, and they've converted like the, I don't even know what you call them, the cars. Cars, yeah. It is called the Chattanooga Choochoochoo- But I never call it a choo-choo train. I just call it a train. Well, I wouldn't call it. Choo-choo-choo! But I think if I say train and then I say choo-choo-ch-train, you picture two very different things in your head. If I say train, I'm thinking of the plane train at the Atlanta airport. That's what I think of with a train. Okay. But I'm talking old school, old-fashioned trains. Passion. Yeah, I get, but I feel like, you know, I'm with you. I'm with you. I mean, I felt a little silly saying Choochoo, as well. Yeah. But it is called, I'm late. I'm stuck behind a Choochooch. Yeah. It is called

the Chattanooga Choochoochoochoo. But you go into that building and, you know, there's nothing in that building really. It's just a big empty building. I mean, there's things off to the side. There's a coffee shop in there. Yeah, it's off to the side. But there's a giant, I thought, well, this is where I got to check in. Yeah. There's nothing going on in there. Well, the train's not functional anymore.

No. Yeah, yeah. So just a, well, just a place to sleep now. Now you're just sleeping on the train cars. Was it narrow? Was it like a hall? Staying in a hallway? Yeah, pretty narrow, yeah.

Was it quiet? Yeah, it was quiet. I mean, there was, you know, by the time I got back to the hotel, I mean, there was a little bit of a band off because they have a whole festival kind of area right there now. When I started going there 10 years ago, it was like almost like a bad neighborhood going in there. And now it's, you know, it's a hot spot. Yeah. Huh.

Yeah. All right. So that's all I got. Yeah. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. We've all done it before. You turn to your barista hairdresser or a random stranger in the bathroom for life advice. We've all done that.

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That's betterh-h-E-L-P.com slash Nate. I'm sorry I cut off your joke, though. That was a good joke. I'd like you to do it again. Speaking of DeBoer, Aaron. What do you've been up to? I was in Dallas this weekend. You know what I realized?

I'm full gray now in my hair. My little nieces and nephews pointed it out. What? And a little, a little, no, I'm not going to. I'll show it to you later. I mean, people will see it. It's not like, you're not. not going to gasp or anything, but you look, and you're like, man, you have just a ton of gray

hairs now. And sometimes it takes a little kid saying that to you before you really accept it, you know? I'm sorry that's that. Is that what you're talking about when you're getting more like me? That's what you meant? I'm going gray. I'm not baldy. There is a difference.

Yeah. What about you, Brian? What are you up to? I had a big weekend. Friday night, I was in Cincinnati at Commonwealth Comedy Club. great crowd not called sanctuary anymore no more they changed it to comedy club is it still like stained glass windows and stuff yeah still a church okay but great crowd awesome hot show yeah everybody was wonderful um mark shalla shellaf show afo shallifu yeah i can't pronounce anything nobody can he's great yeah stop having names like this yeah shalafoo has done some of the nat the nat land showcase yeah that's why i mentioned Because people might know him. He's very funny.

He is very funny. And then Saturday, I drove over to Indianapolis. I had no idea of Cincinnati and Indianapolis were that close. Hour and 40 minutes between the two. It's like here to Huntsville. That's crazy. Yeah. And they both have like NFL team.

So you could live halfway in between and be less than an hour between two NFL teams. Yeah, that's wild. Did a corporate Saturday night in India. I say a corporate. It was a fundraiser. People came, like folks came out and bought tickets for, it was for the, Elena Day Memorial Foundation, little girl who lost her fight with cancer, but her family started at a foundation to help other kids with cancer. It's a wonderful cause, and we had a great

turnout, and thanks for everybody that came to that. And then went to the Colts game yesterday. Nice. Oh, yeah. Last night did helium, downtown Indianapolis. Oh, nice, dude. And another hot show. All right. All right. Sold it out. That's a good club. Yeah. I like that club. Yeah. It's great and um i love indianapolis i used to go there to crackers back in the day yep three like sometimes three times a year i would go featuring because they had two clubs right i loved it indianapolis was my spot for a long time yeah it was but then i had a hard time getting booked there for a while but i'm back so that was last night and then this morning i did bob and tom for the first time oh yeah i saw that pick yeah so that was a lot of fun uh bob's never there

anymore and Tom was not there this morning so I didn't I didn't meet Bobber Tom but I met a lot of did the show I just did it by myself the show yeah the and show yeah well uh that's great I mean that shows fun it's the first time I did it was very hard but it was a it's a fun show yeah it's good you ended on a good isn't it the best to end on a great show for a weekend I think I'd rather have four bad shows and then end on a great one than four great ones and end on a bad one. I'm going to have to disagree, but... Let me dial it back to... Yeah, not that way.

Yeah, four bad shows. By four, you're like, I don't even know if I can do a good show again. Yeah, I've been there. That's Thursday, Friday, Saturday. It's just bombing. Yeah. Yeah, but I know what you mean.

You're only as happy as your last show. Right. It was good to end on a high... But they were all great shows. I didn't do an hour and a half like Dusty, but... Oh, I forgot to say that. Yeah, at the gouge, I did... an hour and 31 minutes.

That's my new record for me. But I was at my, it was a hometown show and I wanted to, I wanted to really make it. I was like, you think it'll be a record for long? I don't know. I'm really feeling.

Was there the first time breaking 90 minutes? Yeah. So this is like when the first guy hit a four minute mile. Yeah. Immediately like 50 people did. I think every set for, I think 90's the minimum. I mean,

I used to open for Airy Spears and he would do 90 minutes. And I remember being like, I'd be like, geez, I mean, you've got to do that much time. I mean, what's going on in your life that you need to be up there that long? And now I'm like, this is the greatest thing ever. I don't know why I thought that about him. It's just fun to do comedy. Sometimes the hardest thing is getting started in the show.

Once the show's going, I'm like, I can just keep going. Well, you're doing it in a theater. There's a difference between that and doing it at a club where the next show's outside waiting in the rain. And the staff is being kept there and all that. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that is true. That's true. When I do clubs, I'd do about an hour.

Okay. I drove home today after about my time from Minneapolis, and then I went to Levin and picked up my mom and brought her back and took her to grandparents' day at my daughter's preschool, which is very funny. I used to have a joke about grandparents' day at my daughter's preschool and how we're going to show up looking older than half the grandparents. Yeah. And it was pretty much true today, not older, but the grandparents were closer to our age than

they were my mom's age. So I think some people probably thought, oh, she brought her grandparents in her great grandmother. I'm trying to remember grandparents today. What do you do? Just kind of go, we appreciate you. Thanks, show. We're the classroom and some stuff. Was that sarcastic? And now, it's funny the way he said it. Let's take him in there. You just bring him in and go, hey, thanks. Yeah. Is there like a grandparents song or something? I don't know. Yeah, there's a grandparent song. You like me to sing it now? Yeah. Do a little bit of it.

Grandparents. Is that really a song? You can tell it is a real song, get you. Grandparents. That sounds like Red Robin. You are the best. You are the best. All right.

Sounds fun. Yeah. Yeah. Do we get in these comments? I would not have sang that to my grandparents. Grandparents. Because they were not the way. Oh, really?

She was great. I did want to ask you one thing, Aaron. Yes. The Phillies fan. fighting over the home run ball yeah it's tough i uh i came to her defense this weekend i saw your tweet on twitter i i i respected what you said i think i actually liked it because i actually uh respect you for speaking out i joked a little bit i was kind of joking about if the ball comes straight to me you got to give me a few seconds can you give the context to the listeners some people might not

have seen it i got a take too maybe different than both there's probably six or seven of these moments that go super viral every baseball season You know, baseball, as much as I love it, there's a lot of lulls. There's a lot of things happening that aren't necessarily about the game itself, right? So there will be fan interactions. And this was the latest one to go super viral where, uh, was it a foul ball or a home run? There's a home run. There's a home run. Lands in front of a father and a son.

They're re, no, lands in front of the woman. Yep. There's a scramble for it. But like an empty, empty eye. An empty seat in front of the, the woman. technically on his row. Yeah, right. But he runs over, it gets a good bounce, he grabs it,

and runs back to his son, immediately gives it to his son. Gives it to a kid, which is what you're supposed to do, right? And, well. Well, I'm just saying that's the talking point, is that that's, you're supposed to give it to a kid immediately. And then the woman that was kind of close to it when it came, comes running over and gets in his face and kind of yells at him to the point where he finally was like, here, just take the ball, right?

Yeah. And then she walks off. Yeah. And now they're calling her a Karen. Right. She clearly was not her best moment. Yeah. But she's getting just destroyed.

I agree. And it's a little Bartman-ish to me, little Steve Bartman. It's a lot of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I really think if she had a different haircut, it wouldn't even be a story. Yeah. Well, I got, she just had, if you haven't seen this moment, just picture the haircut you think this woman has, and she has that.

Well, it's like this whole idea that we got to have. these balls anyway is this is what makes it all ridiculous we're all there's like two grown people fighting over a baseball no it's a kid has a ball and then a woman goes it was ours where it wasn't hers this is the thing though the guy yeah i mean it wasn't hers and she had no right to come get it right it wasn't hers but the guy if you watch the guy the guy marches over there grabs the ball like you know he the whole way he does it and then he goes back and then when the lady comes over he the way he's like he like almost moves like oh i'm so shocked that you know and it's like and then he just gives the ball up so quick like he made such a big like dart to get the ball and

then to just give it up so quickly i didn't like it i didn't care for it it's like you keep it now you keep it at this point i can't tell what your point is that you're mad the guy gave it away I feel like he kind of changed halfway through. No, I'm mad that the guy made such a big deal about getting it. The way he moved, the way he looked like, I'm a big man here. I just got this ball. I think ball's going, everybody's going over it. He's excited to get it for his kid, right?

And he brings him back over. And then a woman, he probably didn't even know it was there until she started screaming at him, is in his face. And then you're like, I don't even want to deal with this. Just take the ball. I just think you already put it in your son's glove. You can't take it out. Well, that's a separate. argument. He can't take it out now.

Yeah. Well, the kid's been rewarded by the Phillies. Yeah, but not by his dad, by the Phillies. And I think that's an important distinction. Okay. Yeah, the dad, if anything, should be charged with a crime. I mean,

I just think... Social services should come in. He should have kept the ball for his kid. Okay. Yeah. Well, anyway, the woman, I think,'s gone into hiding, so... Yeah. If he had kept the ball for his kid, two, she probably wouldn't be getting a ton of as much because she got the ball. So it's like, that's true.

So if the man had held on to the ball, she wouldn't have been getting fun of as much. Some company has put out a thing asking they'll pay $5,000, maybe to charity, maybe not to her. I don't know. If she'll give it back with the words, I'm sorry written on it. So they're really, I know. I mean, it's like leave the lady alone now. You know, it's like. That's like, what's the thing they used to have?

have old colonial cities where you put your head through the block of wood. Yeah. You know, that's called the, what is that called? It would be the torture rack is what I would call it. What is that? Yeah,

whatever the digital version of that, that's what they're doing in that one. But even, you know, that just happened to at a tennis match where like a kid, I guess, asked for a hat and the guy took it. Yeah, and,

yeah, I mean, but it's like, they're like trying to like get the guy fired for, they're like, he's a CEO of a guy. It's like, make them famous.

Yeah. It's like, Take it easy, guys. This is just sports memorabilia here. I don't think you should fight a kid for a ball, and I think it's great if you give a kid a ball. But if a home run ball comes to me and I catch it, I don't know that I'm just going to immediately give it to a kid. Oh, man, Brian, I hope you get one. Well, I give you that too, though. I hope it's all on camera.

You're saying if a little kid walks up. Well, it's happened to me. Really? I told you that it was a long time ago. It wasn't a home run ball, but my dad and I went. went to spring training, uh, watch the Braves. Andrew Jones catches the third out. We're in the out field on, on the grass. Okay. Catches third out as he always did. He would turn around and just throw it in the stands. He throws it. Come straight to me. I catch it. Wow. I'm in my 20s at this time.

So I'm, I'm grown. Yeah, but nah, yeah, like an early adult. An early adult. But it's just like, yeah, you're going to give it to some kid who's going to take it out back? A guy starts yelling, give it to the kid. Oh, that would annoy. That would annoy me. Yeah. But I was so excited. I was a kid. I was so excited to have it. That's what sports does, dude. It brings out the kid in you.

Yeah, I still have that ball. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You give it to the kid. The kid takes it in the backyard, hits it over the fence, and then now it's gone. And you still have it. Yeah. That's what Nate said when I told this story five years ago. He's like, that kid would have lost the ball that day.

Yeah, you don't give nothing to these kids. Yeah. If anything, take it away from it. Yeah. Either way, I wish it was on camera. Unless you're their dad. Don't take it from him. Okay, yeah.

Thank you for. That, you want to get in these comments? Should I do it? I'm glad we talked about that. I've been so annoyed by both of those things. The hat one, like the guy shouldn't have took the hat and the lady shouldn't take the ball. But I've been so annoyed that everybody's just like trying to ruin these people's lives online now. It's like, just take it easy.

Yeah. Sorry. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and Nateland at Nate Bargetzi.com. Not my email. If it is, I'll just delete it. Candace Huggins. I usually listen to the podcast with headphones, keeping my reactions to smiles and silent laughs.

However, I burst out laughing when Aaron said he had a pressure washing simulator game. That exchange was fantastic, and Nate's quip about Aaron's nap game was the cherry on top. Yeah, I got to tell you, the pushback I got on the podcast for talking about the pressure washing game. Boy, do you guys look like fools because the power washing community came out. in numbers, dude. I'm getting a lot of support for that online. There's a pressure washing game?

There's, you know, there's simulators for everything. There's farming simulators. There's lawn cutting simulator. I've been playing a pressure washing game where, you know, it looks like a first person shooter, but it's, you have a. What are you shooting? I'm cleaning houses. Pressure washing the house.

Playgrounds. I'm cleaning cars, motorcycles. I'm building reputation in my community. And I'm getting more and more opportunities. I criticized it, I criticized it, and now I'm like the Phillies lady. I'm getting death rest. People are like, I'm going to be honest. Even though I have that knowledge now that this is happening to you, I still think that's like get a pressure washer and just do it.

But would you feel that here's what I want to ask. I've also been playing NCAA football, the new NCAA football. I got a dynasty going. I just became the head coach of Auburn, actually. She's kind of playing with your daughter sometime. Well, this is when she goes to bed. And I need to, you know, just decompress. No, it's actually a good point.

But do you feel any differently about me playing that game versus the pressure washing simulator? Well, this is what I would say. They're equally meaningless in the grand scheme. That's true. But what I would say is there's no chance that you're going to be the coach of Auburn's basketball team. Okay. But there is a chance that you could be up. I mean, I got some stuff that needs pressure washing.

If you just need some stuff. It's a good counterpoint. But no, you don't have to sweat. You don't have to get out there. And I like. It's just a meaningless, you know, it's just like, it's like doing a Sudoku. I like watching videos of people cutting grass. They'll go and they, they're somebody's lawns overgrown and they like shape it up.

Yeah. I like those. I want to do a video where I go up to a guy's knock on the front door and go, hey, your lawn's getting pretty high. And they go, yeah, and I should probably take care of that. like pull up with the truck pull up like a look I'm going to offer to do it for free in your hand I just want to say like this is unacceptable I'm from HOA yeah so is it like I asked this

throughout this analogy last week tell me if this is it a little bit like coloring in the sense that you can just get lost in it and it feels good to kind of yeah it's just just zone out for a little bit I'm not saying I do that dusty your wife's talking and you're just cleaning a yeah your wife's yeah exactly I'm kidding about that All right. I can't count the number of times I've got lost in my coloring. I'm not saying I do, but I know some adults that that's their therapy.

And I want to be very clear, I've maybe played this game a total of an hour. It's not like I'm going home after the podcast and playing power washing simulator for four to five hours a night. Okay. I just think that, you know, what I, like, they have like, like, flight simulator. Mm-hmm. Where it's like... Yeah, why don't you just go fly a plane? Well, that's true, but I just feel like there's a lot more that goes into flying a plane

than pressure wash. What video games have you played? I haven't played any... WWE, ever? No, I mean, as an adult, I played for a little while. I played The Sims. No, no, I played Sim City on my phone. Why don't you go start a city?

Well, well... He's trying to. I'd love to. It's just a matter of time. Yeah. I mean, I'd love to start a city. more like a community you know what I mean

where he runs it yeah Rusty Shackleford there's no voice of reason when Dusty's not on the pod that's true I like that coming from Rusty Shackleford

the character from King of the Hill you know but yeah well that's true I mean that's absolutely correct yeah we need you the truth group I just moved into the Nashville area

last week and I took this time to spend my very first Monday night at the Nate Land Live at Zanis. It was amazing. Aaron destroyed, as well as Justin Smith, Alex Wudo, and Jeff Allen. Well, the truth group's not lying there, but what an incredible bang for your buck.

Plus, the food is delicious too. So if you're in Nashville on the Monday night, you're sure to have a great time if you show up at Zanis. Comments also come from Zanis Yelp page, apparently. Yeah, what do you guys pay in this? The truth group? I would think they would be Another one backing me on the voice of reason.

That was a hot show, though. Lisa, my whiny, my winnie? My whiny. I placed a yard ball order for my husband. Upon opening the box up, I was delighted to find three yard balls. I'd only ordered one, so I was pumped for the freebies. Then I'd discover the packing slip confirmed this box was intended for Jacob in Ohio.

I texted Jacob, and he confirmed receiving my order in his box. We figured out that both of us listen to Nate Land and ordered it off your recommendation. That's pretty crazy. Two orders get mixed up and they're both Nateland. But you had Jacob's number? I guess on the package. Right? Yeah, I'm guessing on the receipt it had their contact in favor or something.

I mean, I don't know how else they would have. Aaron, yard ball, I mean, you've really put them on the map. Hey, dude, to the moon. Yeah, people got a lot of yard ball. laying around their house now. She's got three. Yeah. Did you get yours?

Oh, you weren't here. I got one for you. Oh, okay, good. Yeah. Do you have them on you, Chase? Oh, they're back there on that thing? Do you throw one to me? Aren't they right?

Or did I give them to you, Chase? Yeah, I don't even worry. If it's a whole... No, I'll take it. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and take it. I'll get it. Hey, you go ahead and clean out my car while you're out there, too, Tristan. Appreciate that, man.

Yeah, I would pressure wash it, but I'm too. busy at home playing the pressure washing game. Well, I can't afford a full pressure washing machine. There are small pressure washers. Yeah, but I want to, dude, I want to get in there with that thing, dude. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I can do whatever

I want in the game. There we go. You start wondering. Okay. Whoa. There you go, dude. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. How about that? Hey, Dusty. Let me tell you some. That's all yours, brother. Thank you. Hold on to that, man. I appreciate that. Yeah, we should reenact the scene of the Phillies game. I'll play the dad.

Jamie Loaza. Loaza? I live in Arizona, and I'm looking to relocate to Tennessee. One of the areas I'm interested in is McMinnville. I know that Dusty has property up there, and could you tell me what it's like to live there and what are the employment opportunities in the surrounding areas. Well, maybe you can rent my cabin.

I may rent it out. maybe he's a period how about that first yeah maybe you could rent it out I don't know what the employment opportunities are I'll tell you what I think punctuation is going to widen your employment opportunities wherever you go

I don't think so I don't know you guys have not spent a lot of time in McMinville but no McMinville's great you say McManville that's what they call it some people call it MacMenville yeah they got a McDonald's down there yeah that's what I used to call it McDonald's

but um mackeys uh mcminville's great they got uh they're the nursery capital of the world so you can probably get involved with some plant nursery oh they got a pretty good restaurants decent restaurant scene and could use someone who knows about restaurants there's you know there's a few really good restaurants and then the others are uh okay um but yeah i don't i've not had a job outside of comedy in over 10 years so you know praise the lord and uh but i uh so i don't know but i like the area there's some caves there's some kayaking uh so you could probably if you're into that sort of stuff and uh have a cabin that potentially uh may like to rent out uh jamie dusty's phone number is yeah yeah but uh well i do have an email um on my website yeah

at gmail. Dusty. Dot sleigh at gmail. Dusty dot sleigh. Yeah, actually, I was told the dot doesn't matter, but I... Well, Jamie, you agree with that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Don't worry about it, Jamie. Man, Brian is quick, dude. Yeah, yes. That was so quick. You're going to think that was edited on the podcast. That was in real time right there. Thank you, Aaron. Finances are an everyday headache we all deal with.

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account required. Becca Furchis. I saw Aaron's real about the toilet paper relay on the plane and it's and sent it to my sister in law she's graduating today from the training to become a flight attendant for southwest she said learning that game and others for keeping people busy while waiting as part of their training there's way more to that job than i ever realized sending her picks of the band to keep an eye out for them on her flights that's so funny so she sent it to her sister-in-law yeah i read it the first time i said it to my sister in law, like her sister's a lawyer. Well, I kind of read it like that the first time.

You're supposed to have some hyphen. I was like, why is your lawyer's sister going to get involved in this? Yeah, well, that's really cool. I mean, look, I appreciate it. Is it hyphen dashes? Well, dashes. And you know, plural is sisters in law, not sister-in-laws. Huh.

Also, col-de-sac, the plural of col-de-sac, coles-de-sac. Wow. It's like Surgeons General or Attorney's General. How would you need to pluralize cul-de-sac? Well, how many coals-de-sac do you think there are in the city? If you want to ask that question, that's a great. I mean, how many colds-de-sac have you seen? But if somebody said how many cul-de-sacs are in the city, would you know what they make?

I would make it a whole thing. I'm about to rock your world right now. Take a seat, buddy. I recently got, speaking of Southwest, I got promoted to A-list on Southwest. All right. You'll get to preferred one day. And I didn't, yeah. I haven't got to let's prefer it. But I didn't even know what it was, like what my benefits were. And I've been checking in for my flights on Southwest.

I'm like, man, I am killing it. Like, I've been getting up to check in. And I'm like, boom. Yeah. A-15 again, you know. Because you're automatic A-15 to A-60 now? Yeah. Yeah.

Something like that. But isn't that a load off your mind, though, not having to check in on this at a certain time? Absolutely. And I, you know, there's still some people, I tweeted, but there's still some people, I don't know, upset, trepidacious about Southwest moving away from open seating. I've been booking flights. January 25th is the last day of open seating on Southwest. Because I've still not booked a flight that me neither is not open seating. I think the 25th or the 26th is the last day.

So I have some flights of February and March that I booked where I was able to pick the seat and that's kind of fun. But I'll tell you what, my flight this weekend, dude in front of me saved a. seat in the exit row for his wife who was in the C group. And it just made me so mad that I was like, all right, well, at least I won't have to deal with this. That's what I'm saying. You cannot leave, I mean, our society is not good now. So you can't, you can't trust people. People will abuse the system. Yeah. You try to make a decent system for people. They'll abuse it. Yeah. Society's, it's gone down the drain. I agree. And, um, yeah. So, um, yeah. So. So I've come around to Southwest, though, I will say, because I just got so tired of connecting.

And Southwest has all the direct flights. So I've been flying more and more with Southwest. And I've really come around to it. And there's like a good energy on those flights, I think. Yeah. I like the flight attendants. I like the people at the ticket encounter. If I can't get direct, I will book with a different airline.

I don't want to have to do the boarding process twice and one day. crazy. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. Amanda J. Boa. Dusty's hair looks amazing.

I'd love to know what he uses. I just started using solid shampoo and conditioner bars. I really like them, but I'm curious of Dusty's hair routine. Well, I'll be honest with that. I don't use, I mean, I just think my hair is good, I guess. I mean, I mean that, that I'm like, I'm not doing anything special to make it. I use a lot of head and shoulders, but I do, I will go, you know, a few days without washing my hair. They say that's good for the hair, you know, to not wash it every day.

You lucked out on that one, because I don't think, yeah. And, you know, a fast a little bit, too. They say fasting could be good. Do you have good hair or is it just long? I mean, with all due respect. I think it is good. Is it? I mean, how do you judge if a hair is good?

Well, there's people with long hair that you go. That's not. That is. Thickness, I guess. Thickness, yeah. Some people's hair is real, can be really. real stringy and shiny. Is yours voluminous?

I guess so, yeah. That's not how I would pronounce it, but I guess I would change it and just say it has a lot of volume. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I use head and shoulders most of the time, but that's because in the past I had a little dandruff going on. And I also had a lot of acne like 10 years ago. I had a lot of acne around my beard. And it was like real hard, and I could not get it to go away. And I went to a dermatologist, and she gave me a prescription.

And I said, how long do I take this? And she said, well, we find when people stop taking it, it comes back. And I go, okay, well, I'm not going to be taking this pill forever. Right. So I got the prescription, and then I got a topical cream that she gave me. And then she said to use head and shoulders. When you're washing your hair, work a little lavender, rub it in your beard. and on your face, and that's what I do now.

Okay. When I wash my hair, wash my beard like that, do a little bit in there, and I have no problems now. Amanda, you got a lot more than you thought you'd get, I bet. But my niece told me that she dyed her hair blue or something one time, and that to get the coloring out, they told her to use head and shoulders, to strip it. So she's like, that's wild, they told you to put that on your face. but it's the best. It's some kind of, you know, the, the chemical that helps keep

dandruff away is, whatever it is good for acne. It's all digestion stuff, though. It's everything wrong with our skin is all digestion related, and my digestion is a train wreck. Okay. Yeah. What's going on in here? Real mess. Here looks good. In here, real disaster. Do you remember, Sarah Not Live? Billy Crystal, you say, have a character that said it's more important to look good than to feel good. Yeah. Well, I would disagree, but I don't know what to do. So, yeah.

Josh Horton, guys like Plato, Plato? Treated like a D. Guys like Plato and Aristotle actually contributed, what, Dusty? I would just think that would be more like Plato, P-L-A-D. D-O-Platto. That's how you would say it. Because Play-D-O-L-O-H, you know, the molding clay... That's P-L-A-Y-D-O-H.

Yeah, play-D-O-H. Right. It's named after him. Was it? I don't know. I bet it had an influence. Guys like... My digestion, by the way, it comes and goes.

I don't want you to think that it's a total train wreck here, but it comes and goes. Okay, I was wondering about that. Yeah. I mean, I'm okay. Yeah. Also, I want to apologize. That's P-L-A-Y-D-O-H. That's how you spell it.

It was not named after, no, I said, D-O-U-G-H. It was not named after Play-D-O. Well, I bet there was some influence, though. Yeah, how could there not be? Yeah. Josh Horton, sorry, Josh. Guys like Play-Doh and Aristotle actually contributed significantly to our system of laws.

In many law schools, still today, one of the foundational courses will study the writings and teachings of these philosophers. I thought Dusty would appreciate a more specific answer to how we're affected by their teachings in America today. Well, I do appreciate that, Josh, and thank you for doing that. I went home and talked to my wife about it. She gave me a – this was weeks ago when this happened, but she gave me a good rundown on these guys. And I felt pretty satisfactory. Oh, good.

Good for him. Because I was asked – see, sometimes I think that you guys think when I ask you a question that I'm just trying to be, you know, undermine the whole conversation. The antagonist. Undermining is not the word, but you were asking it as if, you were asking it as if to say, guys, who are these guys? Well, that's what I, that's, well, who are these idiots?

Well, sometimes I am like, well, yeah, why, what did they do that, you know, made you, makes them so highly respected. It's about tone, it's about tone. And I was looking, yeah, that's what I got to go, well, what did, so what did everyone in my life says to me, they go, oh, yeah, yeah, you're very accusatory. Yeah, they, everybody thinks, I'm yelling at him. Oh, yeah. Did he do a lot? Did he do a lot? Okay. Yeah, I'm sure he did a lot. Everybody in my whole life thinks I'm yelling on him. This is just how I talk. I didn't think you were

yelling. I thought there was, there was kind of a twisted sense of condescension. Well, I want to know, though, like what, what do, you know, and so I talked to her about it. So, Hannah, she really gave me some, yeah, she gave me some insight on it. What does she say? I don't remember, but she was like they were very, you know, influential. They got it done. Yeah. And I knew that. I know you know that.

But I wanted to know what your answer would be. I listened to a podcast on the way home, a theology podcast. And the guy said that these two influenced modern day Christianity more than they should. Like, their teachings is leaked in. Who said that? What podcast is this? It's a guy for my church. but he's athology

yeah so like Thomas Aquinas is all he just like took Aristotle and okay yeah yeah and kind of combined the two but but his point was a lot of the stuff that most Christians believes in the Bible very often

is not is just their influence okay interesting people love to I find that in modern day Christianity they love to quote every book but the Bible they love to quote every book but the Bible they love to dig in and go, this guy said this.

Yeah, yeah. I don't, you know, so I feel like we should really be digging into the Bible. Right, right, and only that and nothing. Or at least the old test. At least, uh, the most. Okay. Yeah, or, uh, the only book. Yeah, I mean, to your point.

Be tough if that was the only book you could ever read, though. No, not that you could ever read, but I mean, you know. You go to a restaurant and like, do you want to see a menu? And you go, nah, I got to order out of the Bible. Right. well yeah I guess it's fishes and bread again biblical yeah

no pork no shellfish come on guys he gave him a platform yeah come on guys Jackie metals in your business do you think

Aaron will be at Taylor and Travis's wedding and will you all be invited to John Chris wedding he can't forget Dusty this time I'm certain I won't be invited yeah I am too to either of these.

I don't know if any of us will get invited. Oh, I think me and Nate will. I've already got my invitation. You've got to keep the bit going at this point, you know? I can't invite Dusty now. Yeah, I would, yeah, I would rather, I think it would be better to not get invited because it would feel like they put thought into that. They go, now we're going to not do it on purpose.

Right, right, right. Because I like when people don't invite me to their weddings and events, and then I see all my friends posting on Instagram at the event. And I go, oh, that's all my friends. Do you like that? Yeah, I think that's a lot of fun. Aaron, you had a wedding crusher at your party at your wedding, and I think this person took John's seat, if I remember correctly.

Oh, yeah, yeah. But I was glad he was there. He was kind of the life of the party. Yeah. In a lot in a lot of ways. I think everybody loved who he was there except John. what about Taylor and Travis I'm open for an invite if I get it

if I get it man never met Travis but you and Taitay are pretty close right that's what I call her you know Taitay yeah surge I don't often agree with Dusty but this is an exception

you know how many people say that when they write in when they write when they make comments they have to qualify that's the most comments Normally, I think Dusty's an absolute moron, but I'll give him this. No, they usually say, I don't always agree with Dusty, but, and then, even though they're agreeing with him, Dusty still attacks him like, well, why wouldn't you agree with me every time? Yeah. This guy's trying to give you props, dude. I'll attack you.

Let's hear what he has to say. The fill-like temperature is ridiculous. I understand Aaron's hot shower to pool explanation, but Dusty nailed his counter argument. The weather reporter tells us the feels like temperature is basically saying, we'll all feel it this way. So why is that not just the temperature? Well, that's exactly right. Thank you, Serge. And Serge, I think if you, you know, dug into other things that I'm saying,

you would find that you would often agree with me. You just hear it and you go, that's ridiculous that he thinks that. And then you start digging into it a little bit. This is typing. Start digging into a little bit. And you go, wait a minute. This guy's on to something here. And then the next thing you know, you're like, you'll be.

you know listening to my personal podcast yeah you're two hours into a youtube documentary and you're like oh no yeah and then we'll be friends yeah because you'll be enlightened see you on the other side serge yeah come on sirge you can do it you can do it just think of it all things like that yeah this is what they're telling you but it feels like this don't drive too close to the edge you could fall off like uh marty wall you could fall off of Great segue, Dusty. Marty Wall. Hey, Brian.

While researching tobacco, look up how many Marlboro Man models die from lung cancer. Well, thank you, Marty. That's a great segue. Or just tell us in the comment, Marty, if you already know the information. Yeah. Yeah, save me some time. Don't make me do all the work. Yeah, you're right.

I retract that. Marty, go away. Today, we are talking about tobacco. All right. That seemed a little. It's over the top. I got to be honest, that is cool. Thanks, man.

Yeah. Do you know the scene in Breaking Bad where he threw a pizza on the roof? Yeah. You ever watched the show breaking it? I've seen it, but it's been a long time. He has a big pizza and his wife won't let him in the house. And in anger, he kind of throws it up in the air and it lands perfectly on the roof. Yeah.

That actually happened. And I think it was an accident. Oh. And they just left it in. That's cool. And then people, it was an epidemic for years. People would come to that house in real life and try to throw a pizza on the roof. And the owner had.

be out there with like a shotgun going don't come near my house i love that i hope they didn't catch them fire i threw papers in the air and they got stuck into the uh white sign behind me okay no yeah we'll be all right now they don't even make lights dangerous anymore i bet those are not even hot we used to have a great country things used to burn down all the time surge you got to get on board yeah now they got surge protectors is what i'm talking about guys uh this up episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack sponsor. No other snack sponsors, just IQ Bar. It's the better for you plant protein-based snack made with brain-boosting nutrients

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To get your 20% off, Nate to 64,000. Text Nate to 64,000. That's Nate to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. So this week we're talking about tobacco. There's over or around 1 billion tobacco users in the world today. Is that down or up? I know it's down. I got to think it's down. That's a well-timed cough, by the way.

I'm the one that's got the black lung. I know it's down in America, but is it down all over the world, too? Yeah, I don't know. It's good. Maybe some countries it's up. I think China maybe it's up. I told Marty Wal to write in with some of that info. Now, I think I've shared this a long time ago in this podcast. You guys both smoked at one time. I've never smoked, but I got nicotine poisoning one time. Oh, yeah? Pertial gum? No. I used to, in college, in the summertime, when I'd come home. Sorry. I just... Because my cough?

No, it's just that you have nicotine poisoning, and I just like how this is leading up. Sometimes in college, when I would come home, it just, it almost feels like it's gearing up for a real edgy story. And you know, it won't be, because it's me. Well, you're correct. Me and my friends, we all threw in five bucks. I dare you to try some dip. We split a splisher sweet, a splisher sweet. I would help tobacco farmers grow their tobacco.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, so I know the whole process of growing tobacco. Wow. And, or at least from 30 years ago when I was helping them. I'm sure it's changed some now. Yeah, now they're probably putting a lot of chemicals in it. Wow. But one day we were out there.

spraying the leaves for yeah with chemicals for pests and things like that and it rained and the leaves were really wet and we were going through you know doing whatever and then that night i got sick and i called my friend and i said i mean i'm throwing up every i can't make it tomorrow he's like i'm sick and another guy that was with us was sick and his theory i can't prove it is that somehow the wet leaves that got into our pores and made us sick whoa yeah Yeah, I mean, you can consume tobacco through the skin like that. I remember hearing stories about... It's what you're wild.

Patches are? Yeah, sure. What dip basically is? I remember hearing stories about pledges at fraternities where they would, they made a kid, he taped a whole can of dip in his each armpit with duct tape, and then they made him run suicides. Jeez. I don't know if that's true. All this stuff gets embellish.

But I remember thinking that sounds like a complete total nightmare. But that wouldn't be surprised if that's how it happened. I mean, I don't know that I've ever had nicotine poisoning, but I've for sure had too much nicotine, where I'm like, you just feel like totally overwhelmed. They say you can eat chocolate, and that'll help, like, soothe that out, like a dark chocolate. Oh, a dark chocolate. Yeah. You know, in Harry Potter, you eat dark chocolate.

and that'll help you for some stuff. I imagine. If you get a attack by a Dementor, you can have dark chocolate and that'll help you get back to where you need to be. That's interesting. Yeah. The Bible and Harry Potter. The two things you should read.

Yeah. Right, Dusty? Yeah. If I got to order from the Bible and Harry Potter, then I could have all kinds of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, so there you go. I'm the bad boy

I love that Well you know what That story turned around Because to know that you were actually Tobacco farming is pretty cool Yeah Yeah So you guys want to know the process

I do want another process It's toasted You watch Mad Men No Okay All right So This part I wasn't there for

But I guess they plant seeds Which we call tobacco slips So then Slips Yeah, I don't know why it's called that, but you pull those up once they get to a certain level. You pull them up and put them in a basket, whatever. Then it's time for tobacco setting. Now, that was my favorite part.

You get on a tobacco setter on the back of a tractor, and this wheel goes around, and you and the guy beside you, you take turns, feeding this wheel, and it circles around and buries it in the road. This is a pick more from your error, right? Yeah. That's kind of what y'all are using. Yeah, exactly. And that guy kind of looks like my uncle on that tractor. I'm not going to lie. That was my favorite part of it because you're sitting, talking to your buddy, and it's just very methodical.

Did you drive the thing or are you, like, what was your role? I would sit on the back and since I'm a left-lefty, that was great because most people were righties, so, you know, I'd sit on the other side. Oh, that's great. It was fun. How many times as being a lefty work to your advantage in life, or do you feel like it mostly works to your disadvantage? Or do you not think about it anymore? I don't think about it much, but I don't know. I kind of like it.

The only disadvantage... Oh, you're one too. Yeah. The only disadvantage I ever had, I felt like, growing up, was if we were trying to play pickup baseball and I didn't have my own glove. You need your left-handed bat. There would be no glove for me. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

That is true. And golfs that way. Golfs that way. What about a spiral notebook? You ever have trouble with that? Yeah, I mean, you, yeah, your hands all in the spirals. and then you're dragging your hand across what you're writing. So you got a lot of graphite here on your...

It can never be me, dude. I refuse to live life like that, man. Well, you know, you've got to be different sometimes. Yeah. But, all right, so... Sorry to interrupt. Sorry, so what next when the tobacco starts to grow? So then it grows, from what I remember,

then it's just kind of a process of keeping any parasites off any insects or they had little I can't remember what it was called but there were some things that would grow on it that you had to break off like go through and like garlic has a little thing a stem that comes out and you have to break it off

so that everything goes down to the garlic bulb. Yeah there's those little things you had to weed out. I can't remember exactly what it was called and then eventually once it gets to a certain level it's time to cut the tobacco. That was my least favorite part. Oh yeah.

You take a little hatchet and you just cut it the stalk and lay it out and then you spike it and you there's a spike and you put it on there and wait well what do you mean there's a there's a there's a basically a stick with a spike yeah come out of the top and you take the stalk and put it

oh and you stack them on that like that okay okay and then yeah that sounds miserable it's probably real hot out there very hot yeah and uh then I think you little dry out a little bit. Then you eventually hang them in the barn. And that's to cure it where I don't know the whole process, but then you got literally things up there to hang it like a laundry mat almost dry cleaner where you hang it up. And then I think that's about the and then eventually you take it to the market to sell it. Oh, y'all would just sell it raw. I didn't do that part, but give her take a little piece off, try to chew it, nothing like that.

Can you just chew it off the plant like that? know. Well, I did a little history on tobacco. I didn't realize tobacco was such an American. It is American invention. Yeah, like, you know, I do believe that's what Native America, I don't know. I never looked into it. But a lot of, a lot of people like to think it was, you know, drugs or whatever. Yeah. But I do think it was tobacco in the so-called peace pipe. I don't know if that's terminology people use now. But, and I think because you get sort of a buzz off tobacco, and I think for sure we abuse it now. But, you know, if you're, sitting around at night and you've packed, you know, a pipe with tobacco and you're taking

pulls off of it, it gives you a bit of a euphoric feeling that could feel like you're almost having some spiritual experience. Yeah. They, uh, when Columbus arrived in the new world, the Native Americans gave him fruit, food, spears, and dried leaves a tobacco plant. And that's why I like it. And we all lived happily ever after. Yeah. That's why I like. tobacco because it's real American stuff. And they didn't know what it was and it wasn't edible. Jazz comedy tobacco. That's America.

Baseball. Yes. Yeah, I've heard that too. Jazz comedy, baseball, although baseball some people think came from cricket. Anyway, they threw the leaves over the ship. They're like, I don't know what this is. We don't need it.

We got rid of it. But some of his other explorers finally tried some and they're like, hey, this isn't... Stuff rules. This is not bad at all. I like those guys. The guy who goes, you know what, you've been throwing this over? I'm going to smoke this. He saw Native American smoking it.

He's like, let me give it a try. How did they figure out how to smoke it? Natives? Yeah, was it just like a field, something got caught on fire once and then some guy inhaled some of the smoke? I don't know. That was pretty nice. Before phones, iPhones, I mean, there was a... a lot of time on your hands.

I guess you were just trying stuff. Yeah. Let's go inhale some things. Before the last 15 years. Yeah. Everything could happen. Yeah. There was a lot of inventions going on back then.

Now only a certain select group of people invent things and the rest of us just enjoy the inventions. We're just slaves to those inventions now. Yeah. So this guy, he developed a smoking habit and he went back to Europe and started, you know, throwing it off there and they thought he was a demon because smoke was coming out of his mouth

and they said only the devil could give a man the power to exhale smoke from his mouth and they arrested him for seven years did they not see him take a hit doesn't matter Aaron that's classic I mean he took a hit and then ghosted it

and then just waited to other people around and then exhaled just this war on tobacco is just too it's unbelievable They don't even know what tobacco is. Yeah, but I'm saying that, you know, they're arresting him for smoking. I thought you'd be on board with this, this part of it. Yeah.

He's torn because he loves smoking, but he hates the devil. I'm against the devil and real demons, but this guy's just smoking. Yeah. It's like, it's a real overreaction. I just having a smoke. But the time he got out of jail, seven years later, smoking had taken off in Europe. Wow, he had to serve a full sentence? I mean, I don't know if that was.

a sentence, but he was released seven years later, it said. And what did they lock him up on what grounds? That he was a demon? Yeah, it said the Spanish Inquisition for his sinful and infernal habits. Spanish Includes. A bit of a mess. Yeah. Then in

1563, a Swiss doctor reported that chewing or smoking tobacco leaf has a wonderful power producing a kind of peaceful drunkenness. I wouldn't call it drunkenness, but it is a peaceful, euphoric feeling. Mm-hmm. He claimed. you only get that drunkenness if you've consumed too much like I do yeah or you do it at while you're drinking yes yes you know I've laid down on the curb in a city many times being too drunk

and having a cigarette cross faded with that's it that's it I've smoked a cigar two or three times my life all right once with dusty twice with me oh well that's true it's maybe more four times yeah you're out of control yeah you're right you're right maybe four times uh We last year applied for life insurance, my life. And they send someone to your house to interview you, and they are very thorough about your medical history and how healthy you are before they approve you for. And they even have a person who talks you through it to try to best help you pass, which is kind of weird. It's their company. Yeah.

You know, whatever. Can't trust that person. And she said, don't lie. Don't hold back because these people. will they'll search your internet history and they'll listen to the podcast social media find the episode about you smoking yeah so uh last year i'm hanging out with dusty after a show we're smoking in the back parking about here at zanis in the back of his pickup truck and zanis takes a picture of it and post it on social media so and that was my once a month cigar that i like to have

uh-huh yeah sure um so when the last lady comes to my house like two or three days later i she's like how often you smoke i'm like two three times in my life and she's like when's the last time i'm like two days ago which sounds like i'm lying like you know two days ago bottom line when it finally comes back to my thing they've given me a higher rate it says because of tobacco use whoa so dusty cost me money wow i think a zany social media people cost you yeah you got to also lie about it a little yeah you should lie You go, I don't know. I don't do it very often.

I couldn't even tell you when the last time. I don't even think that's a lie. That's just like, let's not make it overly complicated. I was afraid they would see that social media post and like, well, he's clearly lying. If you said five years ago, there's one from you three days ago. Cigars are not the same thing as cigarettes. Now, we did counterback and we're like, look, I don't smoke. And they're like, oh, that she kind of said that, that says tobacco use, but that doesn't really mean that.

That's just a true rate anyway. But, yeah, I believe Dusty and Zanis for my misfortune. Well, you know, it costs money to be cool. Being cool, ain't free, Brian. I got to hang out with some cool guys. It's all worth it. It was worth it. Yeah, it was worth it.

Yeah, the first time was pretty disastrous. Yeah. And I wanted to redeem myself. Actually, what was funny about that is there was a guy that we were hanging out with. that was my friend from Opelika back in the day when we were into some stuff. And so it's funny, like to see my... The opposite.

The friends that I used to hang out with and then the friends I hang out with now, it was fun to say. Yeah. Yeah, I remember that guy. Both great people. Right. Worlds colliding, though.

Yeah. It takes all kinds of people for this world, right? Yeah, a guy that I was hanging with that has smoked to all sorts of things. And then a guy who's like... Who couldn't light his cigar kept going out. Both paying the same for life insurance.

Yeah. Yeah, because the other guy would lie about it. Yeah, I remember asking you, I said, I bet he had a pretty bumping sound system in his car when you guys were young. You're like, nah, he didn't have a car. Yeah, I don't think he did.

I don't think he did. So then tobacco starts taking off. And John Rolfe, who we've talked about before, James Town Colony. He started the first successfully raising tobacco on his own. They called it brown gold here in America. This is when he kind of takes a dark turn in the sense that they used to have indentured servants.

And then they needed so much laborer for these tobacco farms, they started bringing slaves over. And that was their main job was working in tobacco fields. Where is this? Virginia and the Carolinas. Is that still where most of the tobacco is farmed in that area? I know we got some in Tennessee, obviously. Yeah, when Leon Morgan was on a few weeks ago, if Dusty was here, I was going to do tobacco then because she grew up around tobacco, raising tobacco. Yeah.

Fire tobacco. Yeah. Yeah, you know, the thing about it is, you know, if everybody just had their own tobacco that they raised themselves and you didn't need this John Roth or whatever being like, I'm going to do all the tobacco, then you wouldn't need that slave labor. You would just be like, oh, I got a, you know, I got a little patch. I got a little tobacco patch, and, you know, we grow our own each year. But, you know, when a guy goes, no, I'm going to do all the tobacco, and I'm going to make all the profits, then you need, I need slaves now. And it's like, they try to justify it. Oh, it was just too much work.

And it's like, well, don't raise that much. Yeah. Pay people. Right. Lunatic. Don't blame tobacco for slavery. Lunatic. Chewing.

Not you, John Roth. It's the Pocahontas guy, right? Yeah. I think he's the one that married her. Yeah. Yeah, this guy had a lot of questionable qualities. Was she 12? She was young.

Yeah. Come on, buddy. Chewing tobacco really took off during the Civil War. Soldiers couldn't be out there smoking cigarettes, so they would just start putting it in their mouth and chewing it and spitting wherever they're at. Oh, yeah. And then went,

board was over. So that's chal. Chal, right? That's what I think of, like, chewing tobacco. I think of chowel. Yeah, chew and tobacco is where you have the big leaves. Like, it's in the bag. Right. You put that and you put that and you actually do chew. Like big league chew. Yeah. That, that's what my dad did all growing up. My dad did, uh, red man tobacco and Taylor's Pride was his two brands. Okay. My dad did, uh, dazo work. You're had that. It wasn't like he had only, there's only a couple of stores in Lebanon that even sold. It was

I think pretty intense tobacco. Days O work. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's right. Yeah, there it is. That is it right there. Old time. Look at this all that. Oh, you would bite it off. Yeah. Well, he would cut it off.

Oh, Levi Garrett was also another brand that my dad would get into. But yeah, one of them would have the, it would be in a block like that and it would have the leaf around it. Yeah. And yeah, you could just bite it off or you could pick it off, yeah, or cut it. My dad used to smoke cigars and my mom would complain about all the smoke in the house. And then he switched to chewing tobacco. And he was so gross. So he would leave spit cups just around the house everywhere. Yeah, it's a gross. Chewing tobacco is great. I mean,

I never got into chewing tobacco. There's so much spit. My dad would sit out on the porch. We would go sit out on the front porch. He lives on a fairly, he's way on the country, but the street's fairly busy it's a state highway yeah so you just sat out there in the front porch and the rocking chairs and he would just spit off the edge my friend's dad was we used to call it a guzzler what's that he would just swallow uh my dad could do that a little bit but yeah never uh we never were into that and then we you know we stole a packet chewing tobacco me and my buddies classic story every little country kid went off in the woods and we all got dizzy and threw up it It's like the Sam Mott.

My uncle, I think he still does, is dip skull for my whole life. Yeah. And I don't see as much dipping now. Maybe I'm just around different people. No, everybody's doing like zins and stuff. Vapes. The vapid dip is what I call it. But I like Codiac, Wintergreen.

That was my favorite. The vape of dip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, 1948, a British doctor published the first study that proved that smoking could cause serious health damage. I know you say it still doesn't. So this guy probably got assassinated, right? For post of those?

No, cigarettes, I believe, are bad. Yeah. I think, but this is what I think, too, even about cigarettes. It's like, yeah, don't have 20 in a day, which is hard to do. That's a full pack. But I think they're make, I don't know, I feel like they make cigarettes highly addictive. I feel like if you just had good organic tobacco that you rolled up yourself and just enjoyed one at the end of the day. It's not that big of a deal. But if you're, you know, you're chief in a pack, two packs

a day, yeah, you're with a filter on it, probably a lot of chemicals in there. And who knows what's in the paper these days? I remember, I remember I was in a cab once. It was in college, and I'm in the cab, and this woman is vaping up front. I go, how long have you been vaping? She goes, I've been vaping for a few months now. I cut my smoking down a bunch. And I go, what are you down to? She goes, man, when I started, I was at seven packs a day. Oh, geez. And she goes, I'm down to five.

I was like, that's still. That's insane. That is insane. It's a hundred cigarettes a day. Shout out Goldie. When I was drinking. I don't think that was Goldie, actually. When I was drinking heavy, I could do a pack and a half in a day.

But usually I was at about a pack a day. But even that was killing me. Yeah. Cigarettes took off. Seven packs a day? I don't mean, that doesn't sound like a real number. I know. How are you even doing that?

Thank God that vape's cutting it down. Saved her 40 cigarettes a day. He's doing a carton every two days. Yeah, the cost of this alone is crazy. What's a pack of cigarettes cost? I haven't bought a pack in a long time. They're like, if you look at that gas station next to Zanis, everything back there is like around $10.

For a pack? Yeah, wow, that's expensive. If you go to New York or Chicago, it's over $20 in a lot of places, $20 a pack. Wow. Rick Roberts used to have a joke about he went to New Work and tried to buy a pack of cigarettes and couldn't afford it. And they had a jar there for lung cancer. You're like, well, you know, I'm going to need this anyway. So we took some out to pay for his cigarette.

The, uh, I remember parliaments. You used to get parliaments, buy one, get one free for like $3. Buy one get one. They would sell. They had the pat. They sold them together. Oh, Bogo. Yeah. Buy one get one free. They're like three bucks a pack. I mean, I mean, and I don't mean six for two. Yeah. Three bucks. Wow. Things have changed. Yeah.

So when health concerns about cigarettes began to receive public attention, tobacco companies started hiring doctors to advertise their cigarettes on TV. Isn't that crazy? It's crazy that we would even trust them now. We go, oh, you used to advertise cigarettes and now, oh, but now you're crazy. credibility is back. Now you put head and shoulders on your face. Yeah, I know. Well, it actually worked. Yeah. But cigarettes took off during the first and second world war, cigarette companies would actually send them in the rations to soldiers overseas. I think they would say if you're a soldier over there and you got a case of lucky strike sent to you, you're like, well, now I'm a lucky strike man for a life. When I come back to America, that's the only brand I'm buying, right? Yeah. Build some brand loyalty that way. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm not against that. I mean, that's what they were going up against. You've got to do what you got to do. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you're in a middle of a war, have a cigarette. I agree with that. The Christmas poem, Twas the night before Christmas. Sorry.

Because of how I said it. I just will never forget it. Yeah. The Christmas story. There you go. There was a line. I think they took it out. that said the stump of a pipe

he held tight in his teeth and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath I like that talking about Santa yeah and then oh so Santa used to have a pipe

yeah it was smoke I don't know if I've ever seen Santa depicted that way with a tobacco there's an image of Santa with a pipe I mean a pipe even especially again

if you can buy good organic tobacco yeah I mean I don't know if those are yeah maybe Yeah, you used to leave tobacco out for him. Yeah. You'd throw in a lip.

He'd rather have that than cookies, I'll tell you. He's like, I'm delivering presents to everyone in the country, and we're in the world, I guess. I don't need all these cookies. You know that feeling when you're doom scrolling and suddenly it's an hour later and you feel worse and you got nothing done and you can feel your brain rewiring itself to something evil and destructive? Every day. We've all been there.

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slash Nate. That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash Nate. Masterclass.com slash Nate. So I think, Aaron, you've asked me, I don't know if you were joking or serious, if I remember smoking on planes. Yeah. Which I don't. Okay. But they started banning it with domestic flight shorter than two hours in 1988.

so I could have remembered it if I ever had phoned and it was expanded and included domestic flights under six hours in 1990 and by 2000 there was a complete ban smoking on domestic

and international flights about what year? 2000. Wow. 2000 man. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I'm all about smoking.

I support it but I would not want it on a plane. But you said it's bad for you. No, no, I'm just saying I support people doing it. I think cigarettes the way they're being manufactured, and I think that's bad. But I'm all about people being able to do it, but I wouldn't want it on a plane,

is my point. Yeah, I think we're all happy with the system now, right? Oh, yeah. Pretty happy. Restaurants, too. Like, the airport has a smoking lounge, the Nashville airport, and if I have a later flight, I get really excited about it, and you go in there, and it is like, I'm like, oh, it's gross.

What an awful room in here. There's like dudes in there with laptops smoking and doing work and stuff. Yeah, and it's like the Wi-Fi doesn't work good. You can't find a charger in there. There's no cutters or lighters in there. I'm bumming stuff off people in there. And I'm like, this is awful. I don't even know what I'm doing.

I feel. Sounds like you're fun for the other guys in there too. I feel terrible when I leave. Some guy comes in and goes, oh, got bummed a light. Get this guy out of here, dude. That's like the mothership in Austin. No, it's, uh, no, that's, that's, that's, That's well ventilated.

There was a cigarette mascot in the 40s and 50s called Mr. Sig. And he would visit hospitals. See, I was told this was AI. I don't know if this is true or not. I was told that this was an AI image. Nah. Look at that. This guy ran into an AI tester.

It's a 1% chance to say, yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, good. Well, I like it again now. Mr. Siss. I love this, though. I mean, again. When I was drinking, in the early 2000s in Charleston, we would be in bar.

You could still smoke in bars, and they would have cigarette reps that would come around. Uh-huh. And they would, like, scan your ID and give you free cigarettes. They still go around gas stations and things. Oh, yeah? Yeah, you'll still come up. Because it was so great. You'd just be hanging out at the bar and the cigarette rep would show up.

We would be so happy to get some camel crushes. The last cigarette ad on TV was during the Johnny, Carson, Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, 1971. And then they banned it. And wouldn't he just smoke at the table? Yeah. Wow. Do you remember, I vaguely remember, like, being at a restaurant and they have smoking sections in the restaurant. Yeah, I do remember that. I remember that very well. And they go, you want to smoke, just do it over it. Ben Sawyer, Dr. Ben, who's been on the podcast, used to have a joke about, uh, yeah, you having a non-smoking section in a restaurant. It's like having a non-peeing section at a pool.

Yeah. It's like, it'll get to you. Yeah. Yeah, it is true. I mean, I used to, when I worked at Western Sizzland, there was smoking section. So I would wait tables in the smoking section. I remember stopping at a Denny's in Kentucky. Like, I won't say 10 years ago.

It was probably longer than that, but not that long ago. And we still had smoking sections. Yeah. I don't know if anywhere now has a smoking section. I haven't seen it in a long time. When I sold pesticides, I would go to Waffle House and sit in the smoking section. and drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, and write jokes. Smoking section in a wafel?

Yeah. That's funny because it would just be half the restaurant. Half was smoking, the other half was not. So, but it was separated, it was separated by the counter, like one end was smoking? Yeah, sort of. It was just a, yeah, I mean, I don't know, you might have been able to smoke in the whole place. I have no idea. I just, I just remember smoking in there.

So according to Wikipedia, five men who appeared in Marlboro ads have died of smoking-related disease. thus earning marble cigarettes, specifically Marble Reds, the nickname Cowboy Killers. Yeah, we called them that because they were, you know, they were strong cigarettes, but they were good, you know. A Marlboro Red? I used to buy those sometimes when I'd go out drinking because I really wanted to feel it, you know? It's hard to feel a Marlboro light when you've been drinking a lot of Jack Daniels all night. Well, how many Marlboro men were there?

They said five died. Is that five for five? They all died. I mean, they all died eventually, but. Yeah, I don't know. how many, but I think they've had a bunch. Kramer was one on Seinfeld. Well, how many Ronald McDonald's have died?

I bet more than five. Of eating McDonald's? Probably. And what's a smoking-related disease? Maybe secondhand smoke? Second-hand smoke. Because I had, you know, I had an uncle that died of some kind of, you know, lung-related, and he never smoked.

He worked on brake pads on cars and got a lot of brake dust in his lungs over there. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Shame. When I was a kid, I had to look this up to see this was even a still thing. Major League baseball players, they all chew tobacco. Oh, yeah. They were Ripsigs in the dugout, too.

Jim Leland would smoke cigarettes and some other managers. It was a NASCAR driver. I don't even want to say his name. His name seems real dirty, but it was his real name. But he smoked in the car. The Hooters guy? His name was short for Richard Trickle. Yeah.

I know him from your act. Yeah. Yeah. But in 2016, Major League Baseball's collective bargaining agreement banned the use of smokeless tobacco, including chewing tobacco, for all new big league players. So if you're already chewing, you got grandfather who did. Wow.

I remember Lenny Dykstra, I think it was, played for the Phillies. I remember him. The Mets and Phillies. Yeah, remember him really. Always had like a big... Yeah. And another guy who was on the Phillies with him, big guy, real big guy, long hair.

They were on the Ken Griffey, John Crook. John Crook, yeah. They were on the Ken Griffey Jr. Super Nintendo game. Remember that one? Yeah, sure. It was the best. Yeah.

Have you ever seen the photo from the Super Bowl of Lynn Dawson smoking on the sidelines? Yeah. The quarterback during the Super Bowl during halftime, smoking. Oh, yeah. And what is he drinking a seven-up or a beer or what? What's he drinking? A fresca. A fresca, yeah.

That's a fresca. Quarterback during the city. Imagine turning on and you see Patrick Mahomes just rip it a sig, drinking a Dr. Pepper. Yeah, it's back then these guys were probably just pretty good athletes. Now it's like there's a whole system of working out and diets and regimens. This guy's probably like, yeah, throw pretty good. You know?

And boy, he's got an arm. Yeah. That's all you worked on. Yeah. I try to look up cool cigarette moments in movies and TV shows

because I feel like I've seen a bunch of them from TV shows I don't know it's cool but guys who smoked Columbo Okay

Very cool Columbo is cool Very cool Is he a big fat guy? No no no Who am I thinking of Cojack? Yeah you're thinking of Cojack He would

He always had a lollipop Yeah that sounds more Colombo What makes Colombo so cool is that Colombo played the idiot, the whole show. Yeah. He played an idiot while he gathered information. And then at the very end, when he made the arrest,

you could see that he was very serious. It got real serious because he was like, we got you. So he played dumb, and then he got you. Yeah. I mean, and that last moments of the show, you could see that he was very serious. And I love that about that show. He's great.

Columbo's unbelievable Pinocchio in I guess maybe the Disney movie he smoked a cigar and got very sick while visiting Pleasure Island and Yeah, so you gotta take it easy but he did too many things

His friend Lapwick encouraged him to take a big drag and made him incredibly sick leaving him to eventually transformation into a donkey Yeah The scene is considered That can happen

Yeah I mean that Everything you've just described there is actually very dark and should not be in a children's movie. Yeah. Yeah, they said it was anti-smoking. I don't know. No, it's...

I looked up, I thought there would be some obvious stuff. I mean, Brad Pitt in Fight Club. Yeah. Uh, Denzel Washington Training Day. Yeah. Um, I mean, there's a lot of movies where... Episode of the West Wing, two cathedrals. Jed Bartlett, Martin Sheen, is, uh, his secretary dies.

He's going through a series of tragedies, right? And he's mad at God. And after the funeral, he stays in the cathedral and he starts yelling at God in Latin. And then he ends it with whatever, I'm out. You get hoins, as if to say, I'm not running for re-election. If you're going to do all this to me, I'm not going to be president. Lights a cigarette, puts it out on the floor of the cathedral and leaves. And then he has, obviously, he comes around.

But it was just a moment of anger and just the most disrespectful thing. It was a callback to earlier in the episode, but I think of that as such a powerful moment. Great show. Y'all got to watch it. I know you have. No, I haven't actually. West Wing? No, you never seen it?

No. Got to check it out. I know. I'm sure it's good because I always like your shows. I can't think of a lot of cool moments, but they exist. Yeah. And I see them. But if I had known you were going to do that.

Because I looked up, I did a top five. country songs about tobacco. Well, let's hear it. How many honorable mentions? Well, this is what I did because this was actually pretty tough. Okay. Because, you know, at first,

you know, it's like I was just thinking of references. There's a lot of references. And, you know, some people call the Beatles a country band. I consider them somewhat of one. The Beatles? Well, they're English, but they're, you know, they're pretty

country. They have some fulksy songs. Yeah. They got, they have a song called I'm so tired where they reference, you know,

being up smoking cigarettes. Tyler Childers has the Feathered Indian song where they talk about it. Tom Petty, Southern Rock,

even the losers. They talk about smoking cigarettes. Jim Croce and car wash blues. I don't know, working at the car wash. He talks about it.

These honorable mentions? Yeah. Okay. I'm just running through them real fast. Then I want to hear Hannah's. Country Boy, Can't Survive. Hank Jr. He talks about spitting beach that. Oh, yeah. Sure. Sure.

Old Crow Medicine Show has a song called, uh, We Don't Grow Tobacco. Uh, we're talking about. That's a great song, actually. It is good. Yeah. All right. So here we go. Number five. Oh, I got one. Do you have boys around here by Blake Shelton on there? No. Chew tobacco, chew tobacco. No, because that would never make any top five list of mine, except for worst country songs of all time. And boys round here. Yeah. Drinking that ice, cold beer. Which is a real shame, because Blake Shelton was really good.

In the beginning, was really good. Old red. Old red. Such a great song. Yeah, don't go loving on nobody but me. He has a cover of a song called I Drink. All very good. I had a class in high school, like a theater adjacent class.

And a project, you had to recite like a poem to the, a poem to the class. And I remember a buddy of mine, Taylor, he forgot about this. He didn't have a poem memorized. So he just got up there and just recited from memory the lyrics of Old Red by Blake Shelton as if it were a poem. It's kind of a compelling poem. He fooled everybody. Such a great song. Okay, here we go.

Number five by, this is Dusty Slay's Top Five Country Songs About Tobacco. All right. Number five, Copenhagen by Robert Earl Keene. It's off his album, a live album. I just heard this today. I actually thought this was just a cover of another song on this list. And it was a pretty much a completely different song. Really great.

Here's another one, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee blues by Marty Robbins. Very good. And then number three, Copenhagen by Chris LaDue. Okay. Okay. Very good. Number two. You know what?

I'm going to do the honorable mention and then do two and one because these are really great. Honorable mention, Otis Redding, not exactly country, but got a country vibe to it. It's called cigarettes and coffee. Great song. All right. Number two. Is Post Malone on here? No.

Come on. Otis Redding is way more country than Post Mal. Okay. All right. Here we go. Number two, smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette. by Tex Williams. What's that song about?

It is about how he likes smoking, but the inconvenience of you're trying to do something and then somebody has to stop everything to smoke a cigarette. He said, tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate that you hate to make him wait because you just got to have another cigarette.

Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette. Puff, puff, puff it, and you smoke yourself to death. It's great. And then it's, well, I don't know. It's good. Every time I hear it, I want to smoke. And then number one, top five country songs about tobacco is another puff by Jerry Reid.

Oh, Jerry Reid. This one is such a good song because the song is a story about how Jerry Reed has decided that he's going to quit smoking. And he's talking about how easy it is going to be. to quit smoking. And then as the song goes along, he basically has talked himself back into smoking and tells you how much he loves it. That's great. Yeah. It's a good. And I've made that I made that list. So if you, so that's Spotify playlist that people can access there. Yeah, if you want to look that up, that's called Dusty Slay's Top Five Country Songs About Tobacco. Love it. And I got them all in there. really it's called yeah it's really great

Copenhagen by chris le do real fun song i thought of one again it's i mean it's only mentioned one time but don williams uh goes coffee black oh yeah you know what that reminds me there's a couple others

uh i'm gonna add in there too uh justin towns earl has one called mama's eyes he mentioned smoking cigarettes great song um about one hand in my pocket by alanus more Seth. Yeah. I have one hand in my pocket. Not country, but you know what. The other wine is smoking a cigarette. Worth, worth putting in there. Dusty and I on a road trip once we went to a Goodwill, I spent probably $30 on CDs. John Denver greatest hits. Remember that?

Jim Croo. I bought Jagged Little Pill. I bought that. It's a great album. It is a great album. It is a great album. Yeah, she ruled, man. Yeah, that first album was really good. Why do you think, well, tell me if you even think this is true, I feel like there's, there's, If you smoke cigarettes, nowadays, you'll get looked down on, as a man at least, but as a cigar, somehow that's considered more cool or not even cool, just acceptable in society. This is what they say, that cigars, and I don't necessarily think that's true. People still look down on you, even with cigars, especially in a big city, try to have a cigar out on the street. People come at you, and then you go, I'm homeless, and they go, okay, I didn't know. Here, let me like that for you.

And, but let me just say, I feel, I'm sorry to interrupt, but like in my church, if guys were going to get together some night to smoke cigars, I don't think anybody would think twice about that. If they were like, let's go in the back and smoke cigarettes, they'd be like, what? That'd be crazy to go. Your boys won't come over this weekend and smoke cigarettes? I guess that's true. Well, this is why I think.

Cigarettes have cheapen the whole thing. Like, cigarettes are great. I mean, I'm not saying they're great, but I like them. But I think, you know, it's like you go, you can have a cigarette real quick. you don't have a cigar real quick. And they say that each cigar is hand-rolled. And, you know, there's, you know, I mean, I've talked to several people about this. Whenever you talk about the health risk of cigars, it all gets lumped in with cigarette stuff. There's no necessarily independent studies on cigars. And I talked to Ben Sawyer about this, who's also a cigar guy. He even says that a lot of the statistics, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. research is done on guys that smoked cigarettes, quit, and then started cigars. Oh. And you don't inhale cigars. I know some people probably do, but you don't inhale them. Don't inhale them. Yeah. They take what? I mean, like an hour? Yeah.

Versus three and a half minutes for a cigarette. Yeah. And it's like you can, you know, with your friends, sit around, have cigars, have conversation. You're not looking at your phones. You're actually talking to each other. And I think there is also some, can be some brain stimulant with nicotine and tobacco. Some people say it has some health benefits. Nicotine does. A lot of people would probably disagree. But I think if you have a cigar every day, it's probably not great for you. Right. But if you, you know, if you have moderation. Yeah. And that's, you know, it's a problem with most things. And with me, I feel like I got a little. I got a little addictive type personality where I get into something.

I'm like, oh, I'd like to do this every day now, you know, but, and then goes from every day to when can I, when can I sneak in a cigar or my kids napping? Can I go grab one real quick? It's tough to sneak a cigar. I know. Is my wife out of town? Yeah, exactly. And it's like, that's how it goes for me.

But I, you know, but that's why I quit drinking and never will even attempt to have a beer because I'm like, I could, I have one. And I go, great, why have I not been doing this? And then the next thing, you know, I've wrecked my car and my marriage. Week later, your life's over. Yeah, yeah. So where alcohol consumption, at least in the U.S., is at a record low. I believe it.

Yeah. Yeah, people are not drinking. They're not smoking, like young people. They're not doing any of that. Like drinking and – that's why I'm drinking and driving jokes. For younger people are just like, they're like – they don't even find it funny because it's like I just was at the end of an era of people. Like, the generation before me was actually cracking open a six-pack on the way home from work, you know?

Yeah. We all have small kids. I think by the time our kids get grown, they're like, what? People used to smoke? I know. Yeah. Or maybe it'll make a comeback. I don't know.

Well, fingers crossed. No. You want your kids to smoke? I don't want my daughter to smoke. No. I mean, no, I don't want them to smoke the cigarettes that are out here today. But I think if, you know, if my daughter were cool and hand rolling her own cigarettes, it'd be worth it. Yeah, I'm not against it.

Yeah, don't be a nerd. Yeah. Yeah. All right. No, I'm not advocate. I don't want people listening thinking I'm advocating for smoking. We're not advocating. Just his kids.

This podcast has never advocated for anything. No, I'm just, I think that like a lot of things, like, like, all right, like, take this, for example. Like our bread in this country is so bad, right? But there is healthy bread. Like if we took our grains and we ground our own grains to make flour and then we made our bread at home with just a few ingredients, it would be very good for us. But when you go off and buy a hot dog bun off the shelf, it has a thousand ingredients and it is bad for you. So good, though. So, yeah, yeah, it is.

But, yeah, I mean, I took a little dusty. I took a sprouted grain piece of bread and wrapped my daughter's hot dog in it the other day. And she was like, yes, she was like, what is this? She needs to smoke. I get beat up in school. I know. But I think there is a healthy way to do things. And, you know, no one will ever agree that there's a healthy way to have cigars except for other cigar smokers.

Yeah. I think yours will offset. They'll be, your kids will be smoking cigarettes, but they'll be eating so healthy that they'll be just like the rest of us. Yeah, exactly. But they'll be cool. Yeah. Yeah. They're a little crunchy, but they're smoking.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. You might want to guess the state? I think I've shared this before. That most, which state has the highest rate of cigarette smoke? Snickers.

Smokers. The smoke. Yeah. I'm going to say Louisiana. I'm going to say Mississippi. West Virginia. That makes sense. Oh.

I mean, it's almost tied one to one with Bob. The smoking rate. The country with the highest tobacco usage might surprise you. Yemen? No, let me go. France. Maybe you should just go on an actual volume of people. China.

Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. No, China. Yeah, y'all are both very often. Well, I said it like a percentage, but then what you said that, I'm like, I bet it's just... Well, there was a time where Asian people in general, maybe not Japanese, but Asian people in general, I feel like we're really smoking. Like, I remember when I worked at Office Depot, this guy, he came in, the Vietnamese guys, running a nail salon, and he bought a bunch of office chairs.

And I had to go help him load him into the truck. And he's like, he's very nice. But his accent is so aggressive. And then he smokes a cigarette just to analyze the truck just to see how we want to load the chairs in. And so I feel like this guy's smoking cigarettes all the day long. Just hanging out of his mouth. Yeah. Dusty met one Asian guy.

He's like, yeah, they all smoke, man. I knew a lot of Asian people. And the, I grew up with a lot of Asian people. Yeah. A lot of lay ocean population in Opelika, but the, uh, everybody knows that. Yeah. And I did know that from We're Having a Good Time podcast. Yeah.

Actually, uh, I was on a plane not too long ago. And it was, there's a white guy. There's not an Asian guy, but just, just talking about smoking. We got off the plane. This guy lit up a cigarette in the jet bridge of the, of getting off. And then we, this is in Nashville. He got off the jet bridge, threw it down on the ground, stomped it out, and kept moving. I was like, that is the coolest thing I've ever seen.

I bet you hug that guy. I mean, it was very disrespectful, and I don't support that. But it was the coolest thing I'd say. I can't believe no one stopped him. It was an old guy, and I just think he didn't care. Yeah. You do get to an age where you just, I don't care anymore. I'm not going to be around much longer.

Right. Wow. Wow. All right. We did it, guys. We did it. Welcome back, Dusty. Thank you.

I've had a great time here. We have you next week, too? Yeah. I mean, I'm back. I mean, I didn't mean to miss before, but I had a, you know, it presented itself and I didn't want to miss the opportunity. No, I don't blame you. You know, I think I've missed five times, five episodes. You had a stroke once.

No, that wasn't it. But you did. You remember early days? I didn't miss it. I was here. Oh, yeah. You came in with a stroke. That's crazy.

That was the day I announced. You're having a baby. You're stroking out, dude. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't really a stroke, but I thought it might be. But that's the day I announced. I mean, it might as well be the same thing. You're right.

So you missed? I've missed five episodes, but I've only missed three times because twice we recorded two episodes. Okay. We used to do that a lot. Do you remember the reasons? I do. One is when I had a baby. Yeah.

We did two. One when I had COVID. Yeah. And one when we had a death in the family. Jeez. Yeah. I don't just take off like you guys. Kill Tony.

Well, like who cares? You took off for a death. I took off for a killing. You know what I mean? boom he's so quick yeah why we even have him around i don't know that'll do much all right just for symmetry i guess we talk about where we're at this weekend yes uh this saturday i'm in brook haven mississippi with my buddy Vince Vince Fabra uh all right you know Vince yeah Vince just opened for me in Auburn matter of fact oh okay you're using my opener all right

Goose. At the, I'm with the Brookhaven Little Theater in Brookhaven, Mississippi. All right. Then next weekend, I'm in Paraguil, Arkansas. And then I got some Cleveland dates coming up. Oh, nice. My just outside of tour comes to Cleveland. It's not actually in Cleveland, but it's like Brunswick and Willoughby, which are both suburbs of Cleveland.

Greater Cleveland. Greater Cleveland. That's October 10th and 11th. Those are on my website. So come on out. Next weekend, this is Aaron Weber here. Phoenix, Arizona at the desert. I'm going to say dessert.

Desert Ridge Improv. The Desert Ridge Improv. That's where you like to be. In Phoenix, that's September 18th through the 20th. And then the 21st, Denver, Colorado at Comedy Works downtown. All right. Those are both great. Those are both great clubs.

I'm at, this weekend I'm at, Binghamton, New York theater show. Binghamton, New York on the 12th. On the 13th, I'm in Buffalo, New York. Next week, Redding, Pennsylvania. I've been calling it reading, because that's how it's spelled.

And then Wilkes, I've been calling it, it's Wilkes Barry. Wilkes Barry. I've been calling it Wilkes Bar, because that's how it's spelled. Pennsylvania. B-A-R-E. I know it from the office.

But I'll be there. That's not how you spell bar. Well, no, but it's not how you spell Barry either. That's true. That's true. And I also want to say, just for people that I made a video about it, but I had a show in Columbus, Ohio. The show was almost sold out. And they closed the venue.

Wow. So everybody got notifications that I canceled the show. I did not cancel the show. The venue closed. So I'm sorry about that. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Why'd it close?

I don't know. So you're going to come back next wave next time through you. Well, I'd like to just book something else that date in Columbus, Ohio. But what I'm being told is because they close the venue may be slow about getting people refunds. Oh, brutal. So we don't want to come and people are like, well, I'm still waiting on my refund. Yeah. Anyway, we got to wrap it out.

Do we have a Nateland set dropping this Friday? We do. It's in the Nateland News. I didn't see any Nateland news. Oh, shoot. I didn't have Nateland news. I think I, hold on. Oh.

How about that? I threw the Nate Lynn news over my head real quick. Oh, but Nate hosting the Emmys this weekend. Forgot to be. Whoops. Where's the fourth guy of the podcast? He'll be hosting the Emmys this weekend. Forget about Nate.

Check him out on Sibbis. All right. That's it. We did it. Thanks so much, guys. Good seeing you. Good job today, Brian. Okay.

You really did it. You really brought. We did it. We're having a good time here. Most important meal of the day. Boom. Breakfast. Breakfast. Lunch dinner. Bye. Hey!