The Nateland Podcast - 279: #279 Currency ft. Mike James & Jay Flake

Episode Date: November 19, 2025

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Hello, folks, and hey, Bear, welcome in to another thrilling episode of the Nate Land podcast. I am Aaron Weber. I will be running the show today. Brian Bates is not here for the first time in the history of the Nate Land podcast. Brian is not going to be here at the start of the show. He's on his way. He got trapped on the tarmac on the West Coast. He's flying back from Seattle or Tacoma or wherever.

But Brian will be joining the podcast shortly. In the meantime, I have alongside me two very good friends, two very talented comedians, longtime friends of the podcast, Mike James and Jay Flake. Hey, what's going on? And I think it might be helpful. I know you both have been on the show before. You've been kind of in the Nateland orbit for a while now, but it might be helpful for the casualty listeners.

the casual listeners to just give you like a brief intro. Mike James is a Music City native. He's a longtime staple of the Nashville comedy scene. He's 6'5 and he tours the country. I'm sorry. You're right on so far, but I got to kind of correct you. Last time I checked, I was 6'6. Oh, really?

Is that when you met Larry Fitzgerald and you were a little bit taller than him? Okay. And you've been saying 6'5 for a while, so that really must have felt good, right? It did. Mike James is 6'4 6'6. between six foot four and six foot I won't say your height don't worry you know what I'm saying like when you when you're that tall I mean you don't got to say give me my extra inch you know what I mean like somebody like me is 5 8 I'm like hey

get it right don't say I'm 5 7 you know what I mean I want that extra but you don't have to you don't have to deal with the stuff I have people don't ask you in the store hey can you hand me that off that top show they ask me what you're going to say oh man I would if I was six seven but I'm six six like what do we talking about? But I am 6-6. That's good to know. Mike just got off the road doing a weekend with Nate Bargettzee on the Big

Dumb Eyes tour. He'll tell us all about it here in a few minutes. We're excited to have you back, Mike. Thank you for being here. Jay Flake is a from Milan, Tennessee, West Tennessee, moved to Nashville years ago, has been a longtime fixture at the Nashville comedy scene. You may have seen him on the road with me and the Black and Mild Tour all over North America.

He's going to be with me this weekend in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the Looney Bend. back, Jay Flake. Hey, and also, I'm 5'8. Are you 5'8? Yes. I don't think I knew that. That changed the way you feel about it. How tall you think I was, Mike?

I thought you were about six feet. No, no. I wear the Nikes. They got the extra cushion at the bottle. So, yeah, it might seem like I am. If Jay is six feet, then you're eight feet tall. Like I said, I am six. Okay.

That's good to know. a few things up right out of the game here. Excited to have y'all back, man. How was the road this weekend with Nate, Mike? I saw some Instagram. I saw you walking out on stage. I saw you looking nervous. Always.

Always nervous. No, but it was great, dude. You know, this shows are always amazing. Tampa. Shout out to Tampa. It was dope. Atlanta, crazy. So we had a good time.

Where did you play? You played at the Lightning Arena probably. It was a benchmark, I think it is. And then where the Hawks play. Yeah, State Farm. Okay. Yeah. Was that meaningful to you in any way?

You're a basketball fan. Do you care about the Hawks? Dude, any arena is meaningful to me. Okay. Yeah. Because I know, because I'm saying, especially like a job interview for Nakesh. No. You can just, I got to tell you, any opportunity to get out there and bless the stage.

Any Nate show is just amazing to me. And I'm thankful for any opportunities given. Hey, Mike James, like, when they do the doc at Miner, I'll make sure I get my spot. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't even need all eight minutes. All four. No, but I'm saying, what the reason I was saying is, because I'm saying, like, you, you know how Nate's great. They're always great.

It's insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, there is a little extra something for playing arenas because I never thought I would get to perform there. So it is something. Did you think you'd be playing basketball on those arenas back in the day? No. Really? No, oh, you mean, did that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the dream. Okay. That was a dream. And it got derailed. And you got derailed. Yeah. It got derailed by talent.

It just wasn't there. Well, you found another way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jay, what have you been up to since we've seen you last, man? You were a hit last time. I heard a lot of people come on and say that you were the favorite for guests of the year. Yeah, and then Strip came on the next week and they stopped talking about that. Yeah, they stopped talking about me pretty quick.

That's funny. Yeah, it didn't last long. It didn't last long. But, you know, I appreciate the moment. People love you. People, a lot of people found you from the podcast. podcast and really enjoyed you here. So I'm excited to have you back. Yeah, yeah. I haven't been doing too much. Last week, I was off. So I went on the road doing any comedy and thing like

that. Didn't have any shows. So that means family time. And I get to work on the house for those projects that I've been not able to get to as I got a Band-Aid right here and another Band-Aid right here. I was like, you been cooking or something? No, that was just housework. Don't even know how I cut myself. I just looked down and I was blood on my shirt. Putting up the tree. Well, I had to take down, yeah, I had to take down all the Christmas stuff. Yeah, yeah. Put this stuff back up. Then I was fixing some toilet roll holders that had been broken, garb disposal, some fixtures and things like that.

So, more than one? Yeah, it was more than one. I don't know how it happened. But some reason, when you have a lot of people at your house for a event, when they leave, things get broken. Oh, yeah. And nobody says anything. But toilet paper holders is why. Yeah.

Yeah, and I don't know how I cut myself. I just looked down and I was like... You know what it is? I'm going to tell you what I learned. Like, so last year I learned, I got cut up putting up the tree. So this year... Real tree? No, fake tree.

Okay. But so this year, I wore a hoodie and some gloves just to make sure. Yeah. It wasn't. And... I didn't know. It was that dangerous. I did that and then I let my wife do it.

I'll tell you something, Mike. Instead of doing all that, I think I'm just going to get cut up. You know what I'm saying? I want my daughters be like, you put no gloves just to put a tree up? Dad has a welder's mask on outside. I was putting a wreath on the front door. And I'm not bleeding. Well, I was in Milwaukee.

I was in Milwaukee, Wisconsin at the improv. Thank you to everybody who came out there. And then I was in Cincinnati all weekend at Commonwealth Comedy Club, which you were with me last time. I had some people asking about you. I had Connor Larson with me. Zach Wycuff, local there in Cincinnati, and Abe Orr, who's done a lot of Nate Land's stuff. He was with me in Milwaukee. So it was just a really fun weekend.

Thank you to everybody who came out. I think we're going to jump into the comments here. Like I said, Brian will be joining us very shortly. We do have a topic for today. We're going to talk about it. I'm just enjoying a few minutes without Brian at the table. It's understandable. So if it feels like I'm milking it and I'm finally running the show, I want it to be run,

like how I want it to be run, that's what's happening. Hey, hey, man. Because as soon as Brian gets back, it's over. It's like chaos. Yeah. No, it's the opposite. I would like a little more chaos. Control chaos.

It's very regimented. Like, I'm Brian. I run things. Yeah. Nah. Start a day without breakfast. I saw a, I'm kidding, obviously, but I saw Batesville, Indiana. Really?

Today. We were driving, and I saw a sign that said it was like old town and then it was Batesville. Yeah. Oh, that's perfect. I was like, I got to find a sign that says, welcome to Batesville. And I found one in Batesville, Indiana, famous for its coffin company. It's with one of the largest coffin manufacturers in the country. He said it's next to Oldstown.

It's like Oldberg or something. Oldberg. And then Batesville is known for his casket company. I wonder why. Yeah, okay. It's pretty clever. It's pretty clever. The comments, as always, come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast reviews,

and mail at natelandpodcast.com. That is the new email address that we have. So if you've been sending it to the other one, I don't know what's been happening to it, but Brian's not reading it. Nicole Pez, like a Pez dispenser. Do you ever have a Pez dispenser? Yes, I do. Yes, I did. My husband and I saw Aaron Friday in Cincinnati at some quotation marks, or what a Cincinnati folks call Dayton, Kentucky.

There was a drummer on stage who died laughing the entire show and was mostly all my husband could focus on. That's not good. We are both curious as to how the comedians felt about this. Is this something normal to have a drummer on stage? Do you remember that at the club last time? I do remember. I do remember that. Yeah, it's like a house band that's on the stage there at Commonwealth Comedy Club,

but it's just one guy. It's just the drummer. It's like the guitarist and the singer forgot to show up. The drummer's up there. No, I loved it. A lot of times he was the only guy really laughing at what I was doing up there. So I appreciated it. And I leaned on them quite a bit.

So I want to shout out. There are two different drummers, a different one each night. And they were both great audience members. So maybe tell your husband to take a few cues from that guy and laugh a little more of what I'm doing up there. I'm putting my heart. I put my blood, sweating tears into that. No, but I get that. That's not a typical thing.

What? To have a drummer on stage. Oh, yeah, no, no. And I almost felt bad because, you know, the opening acts. shorter, it makes more sense to just stay sitting up there. But I'm doing like a full headliner set and he just has to stay up there

with me. I almost feel like, you can you can go. You can leave. Take a break. Appreciate you, man. You know, I'd have been like, hey, man. I did one time and I think last time I was there, I was like, you can probably, he's like, no, that's what I do. That's what I do, man. Yeah, man. Okay. But that's a great club. Shout out to everybody at Commonwealth

Comedy Club. It's an old A repurposed church that they've converted into a comedy club, and they really do a great job. It gets better every time I'm there. So I hope they'll have me back. Susan Wilson, living in Minnesota, if there's a warm spell after Halloween, it's a good time to put up Christmas decorations. I, however, don't turn them on until after Thanksgiving. We were talking last week about when's the earliest you should put up Christmas decorations at your house? Or do you care at all?

If it's, my wife makes me put them up November the 1st. Really? Yeah, I'm pulling stuff out right after Halloween's over it. I'm pulling stuff out. So at Thanksgiving, the whole house is a Christmas decorary. Yeah, pretty much. We had like it don't exist outside of the kitchen. Mike, do you have stuff at your house?

Yeah, like we started last week. Usually, like, at first I was like, I was adamant. and do it until after Thanksgiving. Yeah. But then, like, during the pandemic, it just felt like, I don't know. You wanted Christmas to come faster. Yeah. Yeah.

It doesn't, though. It doesn't. It doesn't. It's the same day. Same amount of days. Same amount of days. Each year. Yeah.

We had one blue star with Christmas lights and my dad put it on the roof. It didn't look Christmassy at all. That was it? Yeah. And my, I remember my dad? He went out of last. My dad got so annoyed putting it up there that he just, we just left it on year, year round. We just didn't turn it on, but the lights were just up there all year.

Is that your house became a landmark? They were like, just turned at the blue light, the blue star. Probably did. You'll see it. Don't worry about it. Was that the, that was the only thing that was up? I think we maybe had a wreath or something. It was like, dude, we lived.

Oh, is that how you say it? A reef? You say it with a TH? How do you say it? I thought it was with a F. I was going to say that's how we say that's a reef and that's a reef I think we're going to run into some more cultural differences here on the podcast yeah yeah yeah I also call it Kroger and not Kroger's but we dude I used to say Kroger's for the longest I still say it actually Jeremy Reese, or Jeremy Rice, R.E.I.S. I have social anxiety. It seems like many comedians do as well. I'm curious how you and your families are feeling about spending a week stuck at sea with your audience. Mike, you're going to be joining us on the Nate Land Cruise. Have you thought about that at all?

Well, I hadn't been, but thank you, Jeremy. Yeah, that's, I mean, we've done cruises before. I'm actually excited about it. I've never been on a cruise. Really? Yeah. So you don't know if you get like seasick. I'm sure I will.

I've gotten real seasick, like deep sea fishing. Really? So I've heard a cruise ship's even worse. Well, I'll get you some patches, like a little patch for your air. But yeah, I mean, it's great. It's going to be a good time. It's a fun time for sure. what do you do on it just kind of hang out i mean so it's so much to do like it's just like

it's going to go by fast because it's just always something to do what's funny is i'm actually going on a cruise like right before that like literally i will get off a cruise three days before that cruise oh wow and it's a six-day cruise on top of that oh man so you'll be sick of it yeah yeah first thing you need to do is just just learn your boat when you get on there just walk around and learn the boat so you know where everything is That's what you want to do first. Yeah. After that, do you agree that you think a lot of comedians have social anxiety?

I think, I don't know about social anxiety. I mean, I know I have it, but I think for the most, I know we all three have it. No, but I do think it is something, you know, to what we do. It's a reason we do what we do, you know, for whatever reason it is. I don't know. What do y'all think? I don't have it bad. I don't have it, like, terribly bad.

But if I get into a situation where I'm just overwhelmed with all these people, I am quick to be like, yeah, I'm going to talk to y'all later on. I might even say that. I am the type of person that will just disappear and won't say a thing. Irish goodbye. That's my favorite thing. I will disappear. Man, that's my favorite thing to do.

The Irish goodbye? Yeah. Yeah. You ever do Irish hello? Just kind of show up. up and just don't make a big deal out of it. I thought that was called crashing. No, crashing is like you kick open the front door and you're like, ah.

Oh, that was the kick, though. A what? Oh, sorry. Never mind. We're learning. We're still learning. Okay. I know exactly what you mean.

So, so. For shizzle, guys. It's literally what it is, though, a kick though. You kick in the dough. I've never heard that. You just kick in the door. And so that's like bra man he would do that yeah yeah yeah yeah just show up kicking the door just act like he'd been there the whole time i've done that when i worked and when i worked in

office when i showed up late yeah i did the irish hello a lot of time just like i just had like i've just been there just sit out on saying nothing the kramer remember the episode kramer what if i told you you could give a gift that brings your favorite holiday memories to life every day well with an or a frame you can't that's why I have one. That's why I've gifted it. Our favorite tradition for Christmas is watching my daughter visit Santa. We love how excited she gets and we take a ton of photos. My mom has one and it's just a great way to, you know, upload and keep her up to date on what my daughter's doing. And with aura frames, you just download the or app, connect it to Wi-Fi. You can even

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Hey, yo. I have no. I have no idea. Greg Long, I have no idea where Aaron was going with the college versus pro team question. I've been taking a lot of heat about this on social media. And I think in retrospect, I did not do a great job of articulating what I met. And I'd like to throw it to the two of you to get your thoughts. I argued that fandom for college sports is more.

meaningful and more, I guess that it makes more sense to me than being a fan of a professional team because underneath a college team, there is an institution. It's the college that persist throughout the years, right? So we're both Notre Dame fans. You were a Notre Dame fan 20 years ago, and you're still a Notre Dame fan now. None of the players on the roster are still there. No. None of the coaches from 20 years ago are still there. But what remains the same? It's the school. It's Notre Dame underneath that.

So it's like my fandom in a college team is grounded in something underneath the team or something that exists always. So like a former pride? No, it's like, you're a, you have a pro team that you're a fan of? The Bulls. The Titans. Yeah. Okay. So if the Titans, if the Titans.

If the Titans tomorrow traded their entire roster to the Browns and the Browns traded their entire roster of the Titans, coaching staff included, would you still be a fan of the Titans? Yes. Okay. So it's not rooted in who's there at that particular time. No. But now, to your point, that's how I was, that's how I kind of am, I guess I am with basketball because I was never a Bulls fan.

I thought I was. I was just a Jordan fan. Yes. Okay. Right. So, but, I mean, the tight, like, for me, the Titans, it represents Nashville, so that's why I'm a Titans fan. Okay.

Now, Jay, you're a Dallas Cowboys fan. Right. Yeah. Are you? Better than Titans, right? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? That's for sure.

Titans, long time friend of the Nateland podcast. Appreciate you. It was disgraceful what's happening to see. No, I'm just kidding. No, I'm not. The Cowboys, I feel like your fandom of the Cowboys has not. nothing to do with Dallas, though. No.

Right. So what is it that you're a fan of? Please, tell you. Because none of the, when you became a fan, I imagine it was in the 90s. Yep. And it was Michael Irvin and Dion and, yeah, all those guys. Those guys are dead and gone, dude. Well, they're not dead.

Well, they're still alive. They're in the ground. I mean, only two of Dion's toes are actually dead. That's true. He is well alive and kicking. So what is it that you're still a fan of of the Dallas Cowboys? Well, we teeter tired if I'm still a fan or not because the owner is. That's right.

Man, come on home, though. You know what I'm saying? So I would say this. The reason why I have that connection with the Cowboys is my little junior pro football team when I was like 10 years old was the Cowboys. Okay. I wore number 22 like Emmett Smith. Yeah.

Same year Cowboys won Super Bowl. We won our Junior Pro Super Bowl. So I was like, oh, yeah, this is my number. new favorite team now. And then that was it. And I just... So it's the name and the logo and the jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see what I'm saying is that to me is much less profound than

like the university or an institution that's been there the whole time. So you don't feel, you don't agree with the, like, you don't understand. I am a fan of professional sports teams, but I can't tell you what exactly. I've been an Atlanta Braves fan my whole life. But why?

So, so... I don't know. This is what I'm trying to find out. What? Okay. But I don't know, I don't know, I don't really know what I'm a fan of. Like, is it the front office? God, it's not Atlanta. I'm not like I love the Braves because they represent Atlanta. Right, right, right. Was it a situation like me with the Cubs?

Like, y'all had TV, yes. Well, that's why I got into it initially, but it's like, well, then what is it that I'm attaching myself to? Oh, well, I don't know. That's problem. Like the legal entity of the Atlanta Braves? Yeah. Well, that's kind of meaningless.

Like, what is it that I'm. attaching myself to it sounds like something you need to talk to the therapist right it went a little deeper than what I'm going on the couch somewhere I'm like when it comes to the grizzlies I'm like Mike James like Memphis Grizzlies to me even though I wasn't born in Memphis but it represents the whole West Tennessee area the whole country getting grind type deal with West Tennessee so that's how I'm kind of like with the grizzles okay I feel like I dug myself deeper Hey, man, listen, I feel like we had a breakthrough. To your point, though, with the college teams, usually if somebody went to that

university or college or whatnot, that is, like, that's why you are founded and grounded into that particular institution, no matter how good the team is. Right. You are associated with it. For life. Because the team is an extension of something else. Right. A professional team is not an extension of anything.

It's just a team. It's a business. It's a team in and of itself. So what are you attaching yourself to the business of the Dallas Cowboys or the business of the Memphis Grizzlies or what the Grizzlies or what the Grizzlies way of life or something? I don't know what it is. That way of basketball is very western city time. I mean, it might not be the best, but you don't know you played the Grizzlies. You're going to get beat up a little bit.

Mike and Rob, you know what I mean? You're going to lose the fifth quarter. All right. We'll move on for that. I won't bring it up again. I think people probably hated that I rehashed that because we spent a good bit of time on it last week. I loved it. Next comment comes from White Sox Adam. Okay, here's another comment about that.

Sorry. Regardless of what initially draws you into start cheering for a team, you develop a loyalty to that team that doesn't go away once the original factors start to change. You become a part of a community, something bigger than yourself. I don't know about that. But you don't feel a part of the Memphis Grizzlies community? Not that much. I'm not one of those who getting upset because they lost or something like that. But when you go, like when you go, there is like a sense of camaraderie when you go to games.

Right. Everybody's cheering the same team on. Yeah. Of course. Just a little community there. Of course. Brad Ziegler. The Arizona Diamondbacks have fans dating back to the origin.

of the team. When I was traded there in 2011, okay? There we go. I mean, he got some rooting in the Diamondbacks. Somebody's think they're better than us. When I was traded there in 2011, they became fans of me. By the time I was traded away in 2016, the roster

was almost entirely different from when I had gotten there. But those loyal fans were now fans of the newer players. When I was traded back there in 2018, it was, again, a mostly different team but the fans embrace the current players while they're there yeah that's that's what and i think we landed on that when you said if the rosters were traded you'd still be a fan of the team yeah so

it's the it's the it's the it's the uniforms right yeah you like you cheer for the uniforms sure now surely it's not that superficial though is that superficial to cheer for uniforms you like you like because it's the clothes you like no no not the uniform it's the team The overall, what the team represents. What is the team, dude? There's no eye in it. The team represents the team represents the state of Tennessee. Okay.

So, yeah. So you can't, if you're not a fan of Tennessee, you can't be a fan of the Titans. Listen, my mother-in-law is a fan of so many teams, and she's slick with it, too. Yeah. Because she was born in New York in Brooklyn, so she's a fan of anything New York, right? She can be a fan of anything New York. Right. They moved to Detroit.

Now she's got Detroit on lock. Then they moved to Florida. Florida's on lock. She moved to Atlanta. Atlanta's on lock. And now she's here. Everything's on lock. And she didn't lose the other team.

So she's got like five major markets. Whoever's winning. That's where she is. She just got a closet full of whoever. Real slick with it. And then just pull it out for whoever's winning. That's crazy. Matt Roberts.

It was crazy. Crazy hearing. By the way, that's very cool that Brad Ziegler wrote in. I'd like to hear more about you. Did you know? No, not by name at least, but that's awesome. I mean, to play professional baseball. So crazy. Matt Roberts. It was crazy hearing Aaron say he uses athletes to remember numbers. As I thought I was the only one that did that. We do this if we were on the road and we have a like a pin number for an Airbnb. If the number was 4523, how would you? How would you? How would you remember that? How would I remember that? I'm not going to tell you. That's one of my favorite numbers. But anyways, but that's Jordan.

Yeah, exactly. Or if it were 23, 24. Jordan and Kobe. There you go. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's how we did it. Real quick, though.

Well, we were talking about sports. Did y'all ever figure out that whole thing about you throwing the ball from home plate to the wall? I think the people lost interest in it. Let's talk about it, though. Did you know that? I don't know anything. I don't know anything about that. Yeah.

Well, I said I could beat Brian and golf if instead of hitting it with golf clubs, I threw the ball. Oh, gotcha. Like, he's hitting it and I'm throwing it. Right. And then that conversation warped and it was manipulated by Nate over time. And basically, it became not about Brian at all. It just became about whether I can throw a golf ball 100 yards, including the role. including the road

and I thought I think I have a decent shot of getting there and we were going to do it when Nate threw out the first pitch of the Milwaukee Brewers a couple months ago we asked them

can Aaron take a golf ball and throw it from home plate just to see if it'll get to the and they're like no no but like dude just when we went out there no no way

you don't think so I don't include the road so far now you're probably thinking hey you could go easily do this right now. You're absolutely right. I thought about doing it. Nate wanted to do a big production of it, get this all on camera and stuff. And then it just got put on the back burner, but I'll do it eventually. I'll prove all the haters. I mean, I'll prove them right. How far can you throw a football? 50 yards. Wow. 50 yards? Yeah, probably. Oh, man, we got to do that too.

What do you mean? He might be able to 50 yards as far. 40 to 50 yards, probably. He might be with the road. He might not. get it a hundred dollars. Depending on the on type of grass. Depending on type of grass. That's what I'm saying. Roll on grass. Any kind of grass is going to slow it down.

On a golf course, a golf course that'll really get on. Not on baseball. Like a football field's going to be. Yeah. I'm not going to roll a lot. So we'll see. I can't wait for this.

Yeah, I got to be there to see this. I'm going to be honest with you. Matt Roberts. He said, is crazy hearing Aaron say he uses athletes to remember numbers. When he said, how would you remember 9920?

I immediately thought Aaron Donald Barryson. Anders. I use this method for everything because it's easier for me to remember an athlete or two than a random set of numbers. It's a very good way of doing it right there. Yeah. Yeah, the first time I was on the road with you and you just yelled out some athletes and I was like, what are you talking about? I'm like, why did you just randomly yell out two pro athletes? He was like, pin number. OJ. Simpson, Philip Rivers. And you're like, oh, God. Okay. Three, two, one, seven. Oh, yeah. I was about to say, I thought Philip Rose was 17.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many kids he has. Julia, Travis, why hasn't breakfast shared any of his great celebrity impressions lately? Give the folks what they want. The folks, sorry, I learned last week I've been saying that word wrong. Give the folks what they want. I think we've got to think of something. When Brian gets here and he will be here shortly, I think his plane just landed.

You saying his impressions? I've seen a couple of them. It sounds like Brian Bates. Who would you like to hear him do when he gets here? I'll have him, I'll have him do it. Man. I mean, it doesn't matter. It really does.

I guess you're right. Charles Barkley or something. Yeah, you can do Charles Barker, Al Pacino or somebody. You can give him. Hey, he can do Eddie Murphy. Charles Barkley, he can do Merrill Streep. It's going to sound the same. Merrill Street.

Sarah Butler, we were looking at buying a new house and went to look at one that we really liked. We were walking to our vehicles to leave, and when this lady on a bicycle pulls up and started screaming at us to quit throwing pipes in her yard, we explained to her, we didn't live there, and she just kept screaming at us about the pipes in her yard. Needless to say, we did not buy the house, and I was so glad she let us know what she was about before we bought it. Could have been she just didn't want you out to move in. Couldn't have been in it? Like, she's really not a crazy lady, but it's like, I really don't want to buy a living here. So let me go out there and act like your crazy lady. Just act like a crazy lady.

I don't even know what does she mean by, I hate to say this sentence out loud. But what does she mean by throwing pipes in her yard? I have no idea. That's great. Just throwing pipes in you. Yeah, just random pipes. Just random pipes. PVC.

PeeC pipes. That's crazy. That's probably where you remember that Pupupac Gar. we went to? Yes. It might be where they got all the PVC pipes. We went to, I take Jay, putt,

but a lot. Great, pause. And then we went to, uh, it's a great. It was South Bend, Indiana we went. It was the worst.

I mean, it was like, it was like, it was a parking lot yesterday. And they were like, we got to turn this into a mini golf course. And so there was just like some PVs, they put some PVP like pipe up.

And that was it. I don't even, I think it was fake grass. It was just like on concrete. Yeah, it was like embarrassing. They charged y'all to get in? Yeah. Yeah, it was a business.

It was like two different sides. We're like, which side is the hardest? It was like, it don't even matter. He was like, it don't even matter. He was like, do your best. You're not going to have fun either way. I'm talking about it. It wasn't nothing outside of PVC piper.

Huh. J.G. Wentworth. There's a big debate. Good. Adrian locked in. J.G. He said there is a big debate on if grown men should wear jerseys, whether to a game

or just out and about. Some women think it's weird and childish. What are y'all's takes? I've had one person say one time, I would never wear another man's name on my back. And that was his excuse for not wearing jersey. He's like, I would not wear another man's name. I was like, dude, it's for, it's not anything serious about this. I mean, yeah, no, do you, but I don't know.

I don't have a problem with it. I mean, yeah. Who cares? I always felt like the dynamic changed when you're a kid and you're wearing the jersey of like a guy that's older than you. And then you go to a game now and you're like, these are all children younger than me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like dressing up like them. Did not think about that.

It's a weird, if you think about it too much, it's odd. It is. But you're also just, I've come around on it. I used to have a pretty hard line about that for my. And then I really, I just couldn't fit into any jerseys I like. And then the second I could get a baseball jersey on, I was like, oh, this rules. Yeah. Yeah, this is great.

I'll wear this. I don't wear them outside of like going to a game. I feel weird. I feel weird wearing a jersey. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't have a problem with it. Like, I never see a dude in a jersey and think, look at this guy. Have you seen this child?

This like crew of unks at Rivergate doing roller skating and they're all wearing like they're just like they're from the 90s. They're wearing the NFL jerseys. Oh, no, I've not seen that at all. Oh, man, it looks a lot of fun. That's funny. That's their characters right there, but yeah. Abby Wainwright.

Abby Wainwright. She's written in a bunch. Mike James and Brian Bates in White Men Can't Jump, too. Oh, that's funny. That's funny, because have you seen Brian? Man, let me say. Now, hold on. I want to throw it. Brian, deceptively decent basketball player. Now, the last time you said something like that, what does that mean? Brian did a impression. You told me he was deceptive.

You said he was good. You told me that. And I believed you. I'm not talking. I know. I bet Brian beats you at horse. Dude, Brian base. Not in a, not in a game, not an actual game. Brian shot a fadeaway layup. I don't know. How do you shoot a fade away layer? I don't know. And it was an air ball. I don't know how you do it.

It didn't work. But he did. That was his movie. Let me say it had a finger roll fade away layer. A finger on fade away layer. That's crazy. It was so awkward, dude. So was he on a fast break or something?

No, no. He was coming. Like, I was standing at the go. He saw me there, and I guess he thought this is going up some kind of way, and he, like, jumped back. He's running at a fade-away finger roll. And then jumps up and fit. Dude, that's how awkward this guy is, like, athletically, he can do stuff that just is not possible. Like, how do you run for it and jump back?

His muscles are confused. I bet you if he would have ran, if he would have moved backwards in sports, he would have been cold. Like, he would have been that dude. You sure he hit you with a Euro step? No, dude, this was not a Euro step. Fade away layup. Fade away layup. That wasn't there.

I'm a little, I'm coming at it from, I've only, I played Brian and horse at a outside of a, I think a residence in outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. And, you know, we get the ball and I'm thinking, I'm about to dominate this old man. And he just started lighting it up. He could not miss, man. Okay. Well. He could not miss. Now, he wasn't doing layups.

Yeah. There was no, there were no defenders. He's just taking shots. I would be honest with you. I'm judging you a little bit right now. What do you mean? Because you're telling me he was like, he was just on. I was like, I didn't see.

He started lighting it. I think he was even surprised. Oh, well, I'm sure he was. Because this is not what I saw. He said the wind was blowing just right that day. It's hard to believe anybody's good basketball did a fade away finger-roll layer. Like you started inside.

the pain and ended at the free throw line. Like, how does that happen? It was so, it was like when Jordan did that shot, when he did it, it was like the opposite of that, like, as far as, like, I was just like, that's amazing. You know what I mean? Like, you're kind of amazed. Like, wow, I can't believe somebody could do that. Because you think you've seen everything on a basketball court.

Or does you think you say everybody tried? No. I've never seen anybody. If he can make it work, dude, that's actually a good move. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever watch the show Smart Guy back in the day? Oh, yeah, yeah, with Taj Mahlery and Omar Gooding.

Omar Gooding. Yeah, he played Moe. He was great. And Marcus Henderson, I don't remember the actor's name, but it's the guy. He was in Drumline, and he was in, he sang for Simba in the original Lion King. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know who you're talking about. I can't pick his name.

There were some episode where they had to beat a chess computer. It was like AI before AI. and Marcus, the dumb older brother, had to beat the computer in chess. And the plan that came up with was to make such a dumb move that the computer would be like malfunctioned because it wouldn't register. So they just had like he moved the night out first. And apparently that was such a dumb move. The computer like caught on fire. But that's what Brian does basically.

He'll do things so weird looking. You don't even know how to defend it. Like, I guess. Let's be honest. Finding clothes that feel as good on your couch as they do out in the world is nearly impossible. But then I tried Viore and, yes, the hype is real. I'm wearing Viori pants right now. Wear it when I travel.

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Well, the topic today, we've covered something similar about 250 episodes ago, but the topic today is currency. Money. I don't know if you saw currency was in the news recently. America's last penny was struck at the U.S. Mint in Philadelphia, the end of a coin production that started in 1793 and ended on November 12th. We are working our way into a penniless society. How do you both feel about this? Are you nostalgic about a penny? Do you care about a penny?

I can't remember the last time I held a penny. Exactly. Yeah, I did over the weekend, matter of fact. Really? Yeah, I got pennies. I got a change in my car. I'm one of those type guys. I get to change back.

I just put it in the cigarette holder thing. You still got a cigarette home? Yeah, well, my older car that I drive around comedy and stuff. I got one car does, one car does. I got one car that I just drive around. It's my get around. It's my get around. Yeah, it's my get around car.

And you put it away, you go to a Coinstar machine every once in a while or something? You know what? I don't. I just hold on to him. I don't know what the problem is. Yeah. You ever did that CoinStar? I have.

I've done it several times. That's humbly. You remember Carter Glasscock, who's a stand-up, media in the Nashville and he lives in Illinois and he had a great bit about how he went to a coin star machine and he's just dumping all this change in and then like his ex-girlfriend shows up and then while he's dumping like a sock full of nickels into this she's like I'm doing great how are you oh oh really down to the down to the wire huh that happens man it happens now the interesting thing about this since pennies are going to be gone they

They're stopping minting them as a budget-cutting measure, but you're going to have to do a lot more nickels now, which are actually more expensive than pennies to produce, which could cause other losses. I mean, eventually, I think in our lifetime, there's just going to be no more change. Did you know at one point there was a half-cent coin? No. Wow. I did not know that. Yeah. Like half a cent.

That seems ridiculous now. Half a cent. Currency. It's funny, I was just talking, I was talking to my wife about this. like currency really just doesn't make sense to me it doesn't make sense so pay like money you take dollars that doesn't make sense because it's just paper we're we're giving it value and it doesn't do anything well the idea originally is that that piece of paper represents actual value something like that represents that value in gold or silver or whatever not gold i get gold i get

go, I get silver, right? Those are metals, but But those only have value because we assign value to them too. But you can do things with it or not. You can make jewelry out of such and such and so. You can't do anything. You make jewelry out of wood too. Yeah. But that's not.

It's value, but it has value. Okay. But why gold and silver? Why? Because they're metals. So it's a, I feel like it's more tangible than this little piece of paper. Then the little piece of paper. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I agree with you think. Do you only pay it and you only have, do you have gold and silver? Would you prefer to do that instead of having bills? So you want to buy your house with some nuggets of gold? Yeah, just like, I want to buy my house with this right here. What you're going to do? Somebody come out with a block inch.

I want to buy that car. I got three nuggets of gold. Do you remember how much you made an hour your first job? Yes. Yeah. What was it? 475. Four.

I got them by 50 cents. What, 425? 525. Oh, jeez. What were y'all doing? I was a bagger at CB, Hunter CB. Okay. I worked at Taco Bill.

Did you get free food and stuff? Did you get other? Yeah, yeah, I got free food. Well, I got tips. Nah. What year was that? Four, you said four, 50, 475? 475 because my first job was minimum wage which at the time was 725 and i don't think has

changed man that was that was the minimum wage when i was when i started working it was 475 475 yeah it was 725 yeah it was 725 i remember getting a raise to 750 because i've been working oh that's funny and i remember being kind of excited yeah yeah i was like doing the math i go all right that's 25 cents per hour oh you actually did the math yeah it's not well it's not hard I did. It's not calculus, Mike. I don't do no math, man. You don't want to think about ads for $75 and went on.

You got to think that's $0.25 cents more per hour. And then if I work a 50-hour week, then that's... You work in 50 hours? I was. Yeah, I was working more than that. Where are you working at? I was working at a country club here in a, in Hendersonville, bluegrass country club.

Oh, okay. I was working in the kitchen. I got married there. Did you really? I'm not... Well, no, no, no. We got, we had the reception. receptioner.

I might have been the buffet guy at your wedding. That's funny. What year was it? Oh, nine. Oh, dude. I mean, it's pretty close. That's funny. I mean, I think I missed you by about a year.

But I, dude, I had to work so many weddings and events. I saw some of the worst wedding speeches. Really? Ever. Yeah, dude. I mean, I worked Kinsenieras. I did all the, I just stood by the buffet. My name tag said buffet guy.

That's funny. Yeah, and I was making $750 an hour, which seems absurd now. It does. $4.75, $5.25. Did you get a raise? Yeah, they told me I got a raise, but I didn't get a raise. They just raised minimum wage to $5.50. Oh, really?

They just gave you to $5.15. We went ahead and raised everybody. Yeah, yeah, we got you. Appreciate that, guys. I worked at Taco Bell out through high school. So, yeah, I got some extra monies. I always talk about when you start stand-up, you have to do a lot. of things that just make zero financial sense, right? Like if you approached it like any other job,

you go, well, I'm not going to go do that because I'm going to lose money going out there. I remember asking my job to leave early because I had to drive to Huntsville to do a five-minute spot. And my boss goes, Huntsville, Alabama? I go, yeah, it's about two hours away. How much time are you doing? I said five minutes. He goes, two out, four hours. Four, hours to do five minutes you're making a lot of money i go now i don't think i'm making money at all actually he was like well what are you doing and i go i don't know i just feel like i have to go down there do you have a lot of do you have any stories about like weird weird gigs you've driven to for for not a lot of money and stuff like weirdest gigs you've done or even outside of a stand-up show

and i'll sometimes we'll do things outside i remember one time this company reached out to me and i ended up giving this gig to be cuff bryan covington they were like we're doing doing a company lunch at Chili's, and we just want somebody to walk around and talk to everybody. Oh, wow. Like a party starter. Oh, that's wild. Just to, like, walk around and, like, get conversations going. Not even with a microphone.

No, not a show. Just, like, walk around, like, say hi to people, just, like, interact with everybody. That is weird. And I was, that sounds like perfect for Brian. Did he do it? Yeah, he went and did it. Yeah. He said it was whatever.

I mean, it was exactly what you think. Just they were nice. I think they were just more quiet. It's just a quiet group. So I just, yeah, I would do that. Just walk around, just talk to people? Actually, I don't know if I like strangers that way. Yeah.

Just to be in the room. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, if I'm doing the show and then after the show everybody, it's different. You just want to show up in the room and just walk around, just, how's your day going? Hey, guys. Hey, what you're doing? All right, now.

Yeah. I see the shoes you got on. All right. All right. I got a gig tomorrow. I fly out tomorrow. I got a gig at noon tomorrow. Oh, right.

for a law firm outside of Dallas. That'll be fine. I got to go to Dallas this week, too. Oh, really? Yeah, my wife's in Dallas right now. Oh, okay. You got a show up there? Mm-hmm.

Okay. All right. Maybe I'll see you at the airport. LeBron Jane, can you name all of the athletes that have become a billionaire? It's not a big list. Yeah. Well, of course. Actually, there's only one athlete ever to become a billionaire while they're still an active player.

Can you guess you know? That's LeBron. That's LeBron. right um there's yeah michael jordan those are the only two basketball players oh magic johnson's not a billionaire anymore magic should be i thought he was yeah well brian's got bad information in here bro yeah because he is a billionaire yeah i thought he was like the first i thought he was one before

uh jordan i mean i think you're right he also owns part of the dodgers i think magic johnson owns so many parts of so many teams That's why he didn't come. That's why he's not here. We're talking about the penny being. Just kidding. We get some fun stats about all the currency here. There's 11.17 billion one dollar bills in circulation, 9 billion $20 bills and $11 billion, $100 bills.

But here's the thing. Only 8% of the world's currency is physical money. The majority of transactions are all done digitally, so no physical currency. changes. That's what I'm saying. It makes no sense. I don't even understand Bitcoin. Okay. That really doesn't make sense. It's a whole different thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're saying, and I've always thought this, it's like, this is all only working because we're agreeing. Exactly. We're agreeing to play the game. This is what is working. Yeah. If you decide one day, my money's meaningless and your money's meaningless, then the whole system goes down. Yeah. Yeah. So what are you doing

about that? Nothing. Well, I mean, nobody's going to lose some of me. Right. Hey, guys, money's worth nothing. I don't understand how money works, but I think it's bad. So let's just stop spending it. We'll see how that works. There is a, the percentage of $1 bills, the percentage of bills in general, I don't remember the stat. I can look it up in a second, but the percentage that contains trace amounts of cocaine on it is

like unbelievably high. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. One dollar bills are 20s. Well, I'm sure your 20s is a higher percentage. I mean, it's, look at that. According to one study by the Journal of Analytical Toxicology, it's one of my favorite subscriptions that I get.

It notes a contamination of 80% of U.S. currency by cocaine. 80%. So it might be in my system right now. I just took some money out of the bank, not too long ago. Well, what were you doing with your cash? I don't know if it gets in your fingertips. Man, that's smell. If it gets on your hands, like,

anything is the system a little tank? I'm not talking about the wrong drug. Hey, guys. It's not anthrax. I was in the dare program. I don't know much about it. Don't know much about cocaine. Dare programs.

I forget about those. You know who's on every, who's on it? Who's on the penny? Hey. You know who's on these? Abe Lincoln. Yep. You know who's on the nickel?

No. No clue. You couldn't even guess? Is it Franklin? I don't know who's on the nickel. Okay. It is. It is Thomas Jefferson.

I'm pretty sure. Thomas Jefferson, yeah, with the ponytail. Yeah, you can see it. And then they all have ponytails? Yeah. I don't think so. Most of them. Thomas Jefferson was a young man in 1776.

Yeah, the wig on. I don't wear wigs. I think he was like in his 20s. Why did they do that? Why did they wear those wigs? What was that? What was that about? That's not a wig on there.

That's his natural. No, I'm just saying, but it just makes me think about it. Like, even, I think, was it over in, um. Even in Canada, so in, like, court, the judges have to wear it. Yeah, it's just, I, why do our judges wear robes? It's the same thing. Because it looks. Because I don't want you in there with a Nike t-shirt on.

Right. Telling me, I got to do 24 months. Right. You need to put some on. You got to put something on a Nike take me. I sounded a little too specific. You need to put something respectable on. dude well what if the the wig used to look cool back in the day did it i mean i don't know why else

would they what else would they wear i don't know that's what i'm wondering i'm thinking there are probably things y'all have worn in your life that look ridiculous now right i've seen you your parachute pants and all that they all used to wear them who used to wear parachute pants All the Jerry Curls you used to have, all that You're thinking of Memphis in California Okay Were Jerry curls around Memphis were big Jerry curls? Yeah, yeah, yeah

Okay, you never had any? Who, me? Yeah. That's why I ain't got hair. I know I had a Jerry girl, but I had a... You got a S-cur? I did. No, not an S-girl.

No, no, no, what was the blue box? with the uh that's an ass curl no no it wasn't called s curl though oh my yeah this guy this guy that was not me I didn't get the hair I didn't get the S girl maybe I did

S curl dang I might have an S curl with the hot top favorite yeah I did at one point time I take that lie back I did have an S girl with high top favor okay my daddy wouldn't allow that really no he wasn't he wasn't going I was trying my best too

I was like man I want my hair to be with So Lincoln on the penny. Jefferson on the nickel. Who's on the dime? Well, there you go. We got a lot more to go, guys. You thought I would know this one. Wait until you get to the quarter.

Actually, who is this? Roosevelt. Isn't? Is that not Roosevelt? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. FDR.

See, if I see the face, I don't. It was Hamilton, but I guess Hamilton's on the 10, and not the 10 cent. So the quarter is George Washington. Yeah. We're about the half a dollar. Man, I ain't seen a half a dollar. I'm probably three years, bro.

Yeah. A half dollars, JFK. Oh, wow. And then the dollar coin is Ben Franklin, I'm pretty sure. Remember the dollar coin right here? Yeah. There's still some of those in circulation. You find one every blue moon.

You see. Or it was, I hate to guess and get this one wrong. sacchia what is that almost yeah I almost guess that one

no it is Sagittia I say I almost guess somebody different I'm sorry if you would have we would have to end

the episode right there hey my man Aaron where you're going to be at this week right exactly

Tulsa Oklahoma at the Looney bin um You ever get $2 bills? You know, you can go, you can go to the bank and just get $2 bills. They won't be happy about it, but you can get it. I got to go to the back and get it, probably. Man, what do you mean?

Who's on the bill? $2 bill? $2 bill. I have no idea. I can't even think of it. $2 bill. It was, uh, geez. Is that Jefferson again?

We just put him on everything. anything? I don't think that's not. I remember I get two dollar bill. Yeah, it's Jefferson. Is it? Yeah, Thomas Jefferson. Well, that doesn't make sense. All right, so let's talk about it. Harriet Tubman. Yes. Yeah, we ain't got it yet. Yeah. Which one is, which one is supposed to be? Is it the 10 that's 20? It was 20. Oh, not our most important one. That's the one of the most cocaine. Yeah, that one. I can't even tell you. Who's on the 20 right now? It's a man. It's a man. amazing. I'm just not you guys. Don't look at this stuff and just. Yeah, Jackson. Oh, yeah. And what's under that? What do you mean? Here you tell me. There you go. We wait on that's what it. Yeah.

We need a better picture than that though. But right. Well, we're kind of limited. We have to get a drawing over. We got a few other pit photos they can use. Okay. It's usually a pretty flattering looking compared to some of the ones. I like the one they got with the rifle. And how about that? Hold on with the rifle. You don't honor guns in this country. That would say everything about the United States. That'd be so cold. A little shotgun. Oh, yeah, that'd be the most important $20 bill ever.

I want nothing but Tubman's. Yeah. And then $100 bill. I know I'm skipping some, but I don't even know. Who's on the 50 Grover Cleveland? Yep. Is that who that? No.

Ulysses S. Grant. Who's on the 100? Franklin. Benjamin, Frank. Oh, yeah, Benjamin. I mean, that's the, yeah, the Benjamin. It's all about the Benjamin's. It's all about the Benjamin.

and then there was a thousand dollar bill for a while really i don't yeah where it was uh who even is this some old dude with a beard is that so is it a five hundred dollar bill yeah i thought it was i could be wrong what do you five i thought there was a five hundred dollar bill at one point time was there not who was on it the portrait of robert morris i don't even know who robert morris robert morris was a british-born american merchant one of the founding fathers of the US. I got to tell you, they need to work on whoever's doing the PR for Robert Morris. That guy never, he never gets talked about. No. Never. Well, I mean, you know, what did Robert Morris do? Yeah, they was like, bro. Yeah. Bitch is. Yeah, you're like, well. Yeah,

let's not talk about. They just like, they saw him. Like, let's not talk about. Yeah, they go. You got more of a coin face, to be honest with you. Your face is a going to. We need to engrave you. We don't, we don't want to draw. You like a Batman character. Yeah, he does look like a penguin. Like a villain? He looks like a sad penguin. I'm going to take all the water sign. He's like, for what?

Well, look at me. Oh, man. Right here, the lifespan of currency. I mean, what do you think? Do you keep cash on you? Do you have money on you right now? I got $5 on me right now. I used to try to keep at least 20 on them.

I only got five right now. So you don't stick to it. I got a rule in life, dude. I always keep 20 bucks. But I only get five. I only get five. Me and the wife went out to eat yesterday. So, you know.

Oh, well, she got. Okay. She got cheese on her. Huh? She got cheese on it. Yep. Yep. And it brought me down to five bucks.

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announced built cash. It's a way to unlock even more value from Build's partners. It's simple. Paying rent is better with Built. Earn reward. and finally get something back for being a renter. Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com slash Nate. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-T dot com slash Nate. Make sure to use our URL so they know that we sent you. What do you think? There's only been one woman ever on a paper bill.

If you had to guess who it was. I feel like I've seen this not too long ago. it's a boring one it's a boring what it's a boring Ellen Keller I'm just saying as many stories we too many times we talk about Helen Keller you would think she might have been on something well she's on do you remember when they did the quarters for all the states yeah she was on the Alabama coin really and I remember being like come on dude

Helen Keller but then you know then you read about her and you're like all right she's impressive let's give it here but i don't know what i wanted but i remember when they were coming out and i was like dude what's ours going to be yeah and it was helen keller it's martha washington in the 1800s martha washington the usa's first first lady was featured on the one dollar silver certificate that's a common form of u.s currency then i have never heard of it um now 1800s they got her out of that quick you all aren't reading ahead on this thing are you oh i didn't read that. Okay. Most expensive man-made object ever of all time. What do you think? The most expensive man-made object at all time? The thing that costs the most to build. Now, with a grain of salt,

we've already poked a few holes in Brian's research. Yeah. We've got the first thing I said was wrong. Yeah, that was terrible. The Moses. I really don't know the answer to that. The international space. In space. In space. Station is the world's most expensive May Made object ever built at 150. What? Is this common knowledge? I'm not trying to I apologize if I said it like that. I'm reading this

for the first time too, but it's fun to act like you're dumb for not knowing. You don't know that? It's the space station, dude. It's in space. It has to go around the earth, dude. I hadn't been watching a NASA channel later. My apologies. Did you want to be an astronaut when you were a kid? Did you ever think about that? I thought about it.

I wanted to be an astronaut. I did think about it one time. You never? He was sick, six. He's not going to fit in the shuttle? What are you talking about? Dude, I get motion sickness. And you going on two cruises back to back?

That's weird, right? I don't get seasick. That's weird. I know. I don't get it. I don't know. Listen. So you just ruled that from an early age ago.

I get C-Sec. So I might as well not even try to be an astronaut. He said he had motion sickness, but no season. Y'all don't get it. Let me explain it to you. I actually threw up one time because I went to sleep in the locker room, woke up, and forgot where I was at. That threw me off just enough to make me dizzy and throw up.

Hey, I'm glad I'm just 5'8. How you get motion sickness and throw up because you woke up like, where am I? I didn't know where I was at? Where am I? It threw me out. That's what I'm saying. Oh, Jesus. How long did it take for you to recognize where you were?

I mean, it was your locker room. When I woke up, but it was dark. Like the smell didn't tell you where you was. No, it smelled for me. Smell for me. Smell like every day. We practice every day. So you were like, yeah, I can't be an astronaut.

Is Brian here? Oh, good. Let's keep the good times rolling for a little bit more. No, Brian, I'll be joining. So they counsel. So you waning up in the locker room in heaven and throwing up. You was like, astronaut could never be me.

I just never thought. I remember seeing Apollo 13. Remember that? Yeah, well, that's about worst case scenario. Well, but even besides the, it blowing up, they threw up when they got there. I was like, oh, I'm out. What do you mean to threw up?

So one of them threw up when they got. Well, one of them was sick. Well, no, I'm saying when they got into sports. from the gravitational, they threw up. They made them throw up. In the movie? Which one? Kevin Bacon?

I don't know. It was floating around. I don't know what to tell you. This was a long time ago. It was very traumatic for me. You didn't finish the movie. They cut it all right in. That's the end of this.

Because I was like, oh, if they're throwing up, then I'm not going to space. So, I mean. And then it blew up. That just kind of certified. It didn't certified. Yeah, I was like, nah. The throw up was. like, no, the blowing up was like...

Definitely not. It didn't blow up either. I feel like you need to rewatch it. I'm making the Armaged. I feel like I'm combining deep impact Armaged. Yeah. I turned off Apollo 13 once the asteroid hit the earth. Yeah, that's a different.

The interstellar. Like, they don't flow away. He threw up when he got to the wormhole. Once they got to the moon and the predator started chasing them, man, it was over with me after that. I just don't, uh, I don't know, man. I just don't like throwing up. Apollo 13, that's one of the greatest scenes in any movie I can think of is when they come down, they get in the room with all the nerds, and they go, we got to make this fit into this

using nothing but that. Yeah, that's why I'll get into it. And they have to do it, just smart people. You don't want to be one of those guys, dude? Like the earth's already been conquered, dude. But don't you have inside of you like you want to be, you want to conquer something? No, I'm fine, well, I'm good. But you can still do it.

Yeah, that's what you're... I feel like you're trying to push your dream. It sounds like Eric is the dream of the best of not right at. I feel like you're projecting your dream on me. You don't want to plan a flag down somewhere and go, this is mine now. You don't want that? No, I did that in my house. Is that just a white guy?

Yeah. Might be an Alabama thing, you know? He's like, hey, ha, ha, ha, jeffy. And I didn't miss that either. Just a white guy thing. Just say, this is a white guy thing. Mine now, just landing on... No.

No. I did like that scene in Superman 2, if any Superman fans in here. Okay. Remember Superman 2 when they landed on the moon? Did you ever see that? No. So it was like some astronauts. They were spacewalking on the moon.

Okay. And then General Zod and the other two came, and they like started kicking people around. It was great movie. had to go back and watch. I'm mad to go back and I've never seen this. I feel like General Zide was my favorite. Well, you're big into the superhero stuff. I am, man.

General Zah was the man, dude. He told Lex Luthor, he was like, why do you speak to me this way? When you know, I'll kill you for it. That's pretty hard line. That's pretty nice. We've got, I mean, Brian. So do you still dream of being an astronaut air?

I mean, it's too late now. When did your astronaut dream? dreams in? Probably last year or so. Yeah, I'd give it up now. Focus on something else. No, I don't know. I think when I was like a, yeah, a young kid, you look up under the space and you're like,

I want to go to the moon. I'm interested in the stars and all that. I'm interested in watching from the TV. Yeah. I mean, sometimes I go outside. I don't know if you even knows when we're on the road and would you be out there talking. I'd just be looking up at the stars and stuff. I'd just be looking up.

That's where... I'm not watching you that close, but yeah. Okay. I mean, I think... So did you watch the... I mean, if you're talking to me and I'm just standing there doing this? Oh, that's what you're doing? So did you watch the, uh, the, the southern, the Northern Lights?

Northern Lights, now I fell asleep. That was just the other night, right? Yeah, it says it's gonna be like, what, one o'clock in the morning when you can see it or something like that? So you just went to sleep? I mean, I didn't do it on purpose. I forgot about it. Has anybody ever seen Northern Lights? No, I would love to, though.

Because you guys have been the last, guard yeah yeah yeah we didn't see it up there was the time it barely got dark it barely got dark when we were up there right yeah barely got dark so like when I went there in my honeymoon I didn't see darkness the whole time I was there because it was only dark from like 4 a.m. to 5 a.m. or something like that and I don't remember what it was like

you're seeing this image I'm obsessed with this image it's the background on my laptop right now this is the Hubble the Hubble deep field image right here do you know about this photo? Mm-mm. what am I looking at so this is a picture taken by the Hubble telescope what they did was they pointed the camera at a little patch of nothing in the sky they're like where nothing's visible just a little patch of blackness and space and they just focused the camera on that for a long time and did like a long exposure just to see and this entire image is what was in that little that little patch that looks like nothing to us Every visible thing in this image outside of a few stars are galaxies. There are thousands.

These are all galaxies. So there are planets inside of those? Yeah, yeah, dude, how do we know? This is what I have a problem with. We can't check this. There's planets inside that galaxy, so we assume. Right, this is all. I mean, look at that one right.

Because it's Zoom bag in or no. Have we ever gone into any galaxy? It's something in there. It's a sun. Have we gone into any galaxy? No, we have not. No, we haven't gone. We're about to collide with the Andromeda galaxy in a few billion years.

Well, I won't be here for that. Unless they... Somebody freeze me. Unless they fix this up, they start making those nanites. That's what I'm looking forward to. Making what? Nanites. What are nanites?

You know, they inject the little robots in you and they can heal you. And it's like anti-aging. I ain't heard about this? No. Yeah, so you're into that, but you don't believe another. the planet is in the gas. Is this like, no, I'm not saying I don't believe it. Is this like, C-Moss?

Is it like what? Seamoss. You do like C-Boss. I do like C-Boss. Oh, my God. I've never heard. You would want to live forever, dude? No, you wouldn't actually do it.

I mean, unless everybody else, you guys want to do it? Nah, just unless y'all want to, we can go. I mean, I'm not going to do it by myself. It's like we're about to go out of something. I mean, I don't want to, but I mean, if y'all want to, we can. I want to be by myself, guys. FOMO. You have like your whole family guy.

You'd be like, yeah, I'm not going to just let you all hang out forever without me. Right. That sounds terrifying to me, dude. Really? Especially because in four. point five billion years the indromeda galaxy and the milky way galaxy are going to collide

that's what they let's just if they do collide right now some people sound like they're just trying to sell water hey what

what if you're about to collide with another galaxy don't you think it's going to be some thirsty people come on probably come on exactly in four point

Five billion years, get the water now. If they do collide, the galaxies will merge into a single elliptical galaxy. And although stars are unlikely to collide with each other, they will be thrown into new orbits. It will be absolute chaos in this galaxy. Yeah, if humans are still around by the end, I believe everything will die. Listen, man. Just got a feeling when it get close enough. How long ago is that?

Oh, that's four, well, it's in the future. 4.5 billion years from now. Yeah. So the people who came up with this won't be alive to realize they're right around. It's so far away. It's so far away. How do you know that? How can you predict billions of years from now?

What do you mean? Like, if you said, okay, this is going to happen next year. Like, that's more predictable. Well, four, five billion years from now. Well, if two cars are very far apart and they're driving right at each other, I mean, they're going to hit each other. At some point in time, somebody may be like, you know, we won't make a love. What if the other galaxy don't want? Yeah, they'd be like, yeah, you know, we're just going to make a left right here.

You know what I mean? I don't want to deal with all this. Right. I don't really mess with the other son like this. So let's make a left. Man, that son beefing right now. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Well, we had this, a big argument on the podcast before because, you know, the son, our son, is going to blow up eventually too. Yeah, here we go. I'm going to tell you what's crazy. I would tell you what's crazy. What? My daughter. We was riding the car last night, and she generally asked me this question. If how long could we survive without the sun or the water, which one would kill us first?

If the sun goes out or if all the water dries up. How to put on punishment. How long? What would kill us first? Just think about it. If the sun just, poof, gone. Right. How long will we last?

Or if all of a sudden, poof, all the water just dries up, how long will we last? I think we could last longer without the sun than we could without water. Mooney, maim. Well, if we don't have any sun, I mean, we can still stay in the house and artificial heating. We even got artificial, like, sunlight. Okay. Okay. That's your mouth?

Yeah, instead of water. Okay. What do you think? Oh, I think if the sun goes away, then we're no longer orbiting the sun. The planet just gets. Oh, that's what we're doing. Okay. Yeah, answering the question.

Hey, you know what I think. If you want to answer writing stuff, okay. We can only live for three days without water. We can only live three days without water. Okay. So if the sun goes out, do y'all realize how cold like Pluto? Well, I don't know if Pluto's a planet today. You know how they say blue up.

But you know how cold that planet is? And the sun is in the, and is this water good? Yeah, that's good. That's all yours, man. I feel like we would instantly, like, just freeze. Everything was just like instantly. Probably. Just instantly.

Probably, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about within like hours. That's my opinion. And within hours, we just freeze there. When the hours, we'll just freeze there. Yeah. And then everything just dies. Yeah.

Right. I think either of these scenarios, it's not going to end well. Nah. But if you have nanites, all this goes away. If you have nanites, then you have to live through all this, dude. And you're just stuck on earth. You just said the ice block just like nothing bothers you like you're good it just makes you like feel good too

I don't know I don't have them you become Superman Is this coming? Is this on the horizon? Yeah look it up What is it? I'm afraid to type this. Nanites I think it's not spout Nanites It's a term for microscopic machines or nano robots often from science fiction

Oh keep reading I'm pretty much The term can also refer to in-game currency in video games like No Man Sky and Terraria. All right. What website is this from? That sounds incredible. Google. I don't know who gets you down this rabbit home.

But this is crazy. In real world science. Okay, so self-replicating antites are still science fiction. Here we go. But, okay. But yeah. So we're starting to use this stuff in everyday life. Targeted drug delivery so you can deliver drugs with these nanorobots

being injected into your blood. Okay. So I'm probably going to let the first few people try this first before. Yeah, I'm probably never going to try it. Yeah, I'm not going to be part of the trial. Yeah. That if I ever use something like that, yeah. I just like my granddaddy.

Just take me out. You wouldn't use it? So the thing is, It, like, it fixes everything in you. Like, like, you take CMO. You take C malls? That's my midnight, C malls. I used to.

I bought some of a Rivergate Mall either. Just to try it out. Dude was trying to say you shoe clean at the same time. Hey, bro, I'd tell you one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. So I was walking through that mall and that dude, you know, he's cleaning shoes. He goes, hey, brother. He goes, man, what kind of shoes you, shoes are, I mean, I'm wearing like, dude, just dirty hokas. They're like, I go, I don't really like a clean your shoes guy.

He goes, nah, man, that day, it changes today. He said, come over here, man. And he, like, cleans my, dude. And basically, I bought the stuff from the dude, spent like 40 bucks just to, like, avoid an awkward, I could have just kept walking. Yeah. But he was just like, no, man, come in. And he cleaned my, basically just made one shoe wet.

And then, you got to act like, oh, yeah, that's a lot. And he goes, may, you see that, man? That's like magic. And then I looked up online and that product is like, yeah, dude, it's just like soap and water. He talked about it like it was this miracle product for cleaning my stuff. I never touched that stuff, dude. I ended up throwing it away, I think. I was like, I'm never going to use this.

You got to, you got to walk away from him, man. It's hard. Yeah, yeah. It's hard. I just look straight ahead. Like, dang, top of me. Yeah. I act like I'm in a rush.

Yeah, I just But y'all are wearing shoes that you would clean I'm not even wearing Yes, I'm wearing like, dude, running shoes That aren't supposed to be clean Right, man You know Those look like those, those glasses that

I don't know if y'all seen those The meta-glasses? I got my dad's on those Do you really? I did, yeah For what? For Father's Day. No, but like for what?

Has he used them? Right. What is he going to use it? Does he want to record? How tall is it in that? Six-three. Yeah, so we went to, I hadn't seen him wear him, so I just took it as a loss.

I was like, oh, he didn't like him. Yeah. But we went to the shoe, see Ohio State play, and he wore him for that. And just tape the game? I don't know about the game. It's up on his YouTube page. We got two subscribers. No, no, it was.

It was good. They're pretty cool to see. Like the new ones, though. I don't know. There's a little bulky, so. Yeah. What can you do with? You can record? Take pictures. Do you see what? I mean, is it supposed to be exactly what you see? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then it's like, it really is for the, for the, the, the AI. That's why I would use it. With what? Like Siri. I mean, not Siri. Meta. You're wrong. It's a wrong person. Cortana. Have you ever had a comment, been talking to somebody with those on?

Yeah. They've been wearing them. Yeah. I was talking about. I remember when I said my dad again? Yeah. But you said he wasn't wearing them. So I was like, all right.

Well, I mean, Pops just, I mean, you know what I mean. You just having a regular conversation with somebody just out in the public and they got them on. Yeah, sure. I've had that happen. I'd be like, are you recording this? What are we doing here? Yeah, it can make people feel. The good thing about them, though, is like the little lens, it'll, it'll, like, glow to let

you know it's recording. So nobody can record you without you knowing. But you can jailbreak that and turn that off, I'm sure, if you wanted to put a little piece of tape over it or something. Yeah. Well, no, no, you can't do that. Once you cover it up, it will stop recording. Really?

Yeah, yeah. Wow, well, that's good. Wow, well, that's good, I guess. Yeah. Okay. But now this new pair, I don't know. I don't know if I want to... You said for the AI, so you just look at something and be like, hey, what is this?

Yeah, what is this? Translate, you know, it's like real translation. So, I mean, I can stop using duolingo. I know it on my own now. You know, you speak in Spanish? You can speak Spanish? Yeah, they're thinking duolingo for seven years now. Well, first of all, no.

I'm on day 418. And it's over a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I'm, I wouldn't say I'm fluid. But you can get through a conversation. Well, I can get through a sentence. Oh, all right, all right, all right. Yeah, say something.

Vinvonitos. All right. Not the first word. Did you say something? You just made some of us. No, I said something. I don't think we got to that chapter. There's no.

Benvinitos. You didn't get to welcome? Benvinitos. Oh, is that. welcome. Are you saying it right? Is it Benvenito? You ain't got to welcome? Fortune 18 days.

You ain't got to welcome? Dude, I thought that was the title on the Spanish book. Beavonitos. That's what it means. Welcome. Okay. Gally. Mike Jace. Hey, we're good now. No.

Yeah, okay. You say something I know. Como? Cuomo. Cuondo. Okay. Yeah. Let's see if I'm even right yeah yeah i thought so

how does he say it okay that's what it was yeah benvenida see what hey I said it to Memphis way yeah been venito hola yeah

yeah yeah you're putting me up on something I didn't know that yeah yeah welcome okay Benvinio you really didn't know that well you haven't had Spanish speaking guest over to your house yet.

No. So you wouldn't need to know that. No. But if you were to say goodbye, have a nice day. What would you say? Oh, man. Adios. Adios.

I don't really like to tell people, I don't like to tell people to have a good day. You're not even looking at this stuff up. Adios. Hey. The welcome and goodbye. Uh-uh. I need to know how to order a plate. Dude, you can get there.

Just point. That's what I do. I have blue pants. I have blue pants. Azul. It's blue. We'll start there. I'm talking with tequila.

Pantalones. Yeah. And two. Two. I have. I have blue pants. Two, is it two kids? Pantelones.

Azou. That's you like blue pants. Oh, did I tell you, you like boo? Hey, listen. Day 418. But you can see, you can see I need to get to 419. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 419, he would be better.

We're getting there. He is getting there. Gally, boy, you got me in tears over here, bro. Tango. Tango. I thought Tango was, I have. Yeah. I have or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ain't that a dance? Hold on. Tango. Oh, the tango, yeah. Tengo. Yeah, yeah, tango. You say, what?

Tingo. Tingo. Tingo. Tingo. I said. Tingo. Oh, wow. Adios.

Adios. Adio. Oh, man. Special chicken. I went down a rabbit hole about this dude that just walks around Time Square. And he, and he speaks. speaks like every every language he's one of these guys polyglot they're called who what do you what you call a polyglot a polyglot that's the name of what they call them yeah that's somebody who

knows a lot of languages wow yeah you're almost there mike I'm gonna start telling people that man I'm gonna add that to my um yeah yeah I'm add that to my uh comedian yeah yeah probably six foot six polyglot? Does that his polyglotin? He'll walk up, he'll see people that look like they're from other countries and he'll walk up and go, what's your language? What's your language? And they go, you're not going to know my language, dude. I'm from like, I speak Congolese or something.

Like a dialect of Congolese. And he knows all. He didn't jump in and like, you just see people light up that probably haven't heard their native language in a while. And they're like, they'll be walking by and like that person's like rude. And then as soon as you start talking to them in their language, they're like, oh. How do you do that? How do you remember that? You just commit.

You just learn it. So that many, though? He's a language rain man, you know? Yeah. That's wild. Well, think about all the time. If you added up all the hours, you devoted to stand-up comedy and you put it into learning a, you know, you'd be on duolingo. You'd be in the 600s by now.

Yeah, but that would just be Spanish. Yeah. I still get French, Mandarin. Those are the next two. We day 418 on Spanish. And he don't know welcome. I can only imagine Mandarin is going to take him out. First of all, I am a polyglot.

And I need to be respected as such. Just polygliding for the community. You know what I mean? Do you take a language in high school either of you? I took Spanish. Yeah, then I failed it. So I took French. He failed Spanish.

I fell Spanish one. I'm too. Spanish one? Mr. Bird. Senior Bird did not like me. Oh, really? Yeah, I passed Spanish. But I got work.

We had a real, we had a girl to just move from Mexico in the eighth grade to our school. And she said, you speak Spanish as bad as bad as my dad speak English. And that was our teacher. But I passed. So I just like, I ain't cool. Yeah, I had Spanish one. We had a foreign exchange student from Spain that was in my Spanish one class. Hmm.

And he was like, I go, like, why are you? I remember his name was Javier. And I was like, why are you taking Spanish one? He goes, I, he's like, I just want to get easy A. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have went to Spain. I would have to English. English one.

Right. I got this. Just dominating. I'm laughing. I'm laughing at kids, bull. Sit down. You're in there like LeBron, the greatest of all time.

Yeah, man. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't know you didn't think I was going to let that right. Take a second. What's that hat? What's that hat? What's a hat? Black hat with a red W on.

Is that a Wawa logo? No. What is that? It's for my daughter's school, Woodland. Woodland. What a nice logo? Yeah. She's a cheerleader.

Okay. First time you're on, you're wearing a Milan hat, Jay. Did they ask you not to wear it the next time you came on? No, they do. I got a couple people hitting my inbox. I see you represent. Okay.

A who? Milan hat. Milon, Tennessee. That's where he's from. Milan. Malon. Malon. There, you know.

Okay. I don't know what that's at. So let's talk about, let's get back to money, dude. I'm buff up for me. I don't know what. He's like, I don't know where this is. I don't know what Milan is. It's West Tennessee.

It's Milan. It would be Milan anywhere else in the world. And the world. Yeah. But we call it Mylan. It's like we call Lebanon, Lebanon, Lebanon and all these other places. That's funny. I did, I did a gig at a barber shop in Milan one time with Brad Satina.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And it was, I was the only white guy in the building. And they had, it was like a variety show. And he had to follow a guy doing spoken word. Oh, my gosh. And it was like this very intense, I don't know what he was talking about. But, you know, he's up there. He's going, he's going, rose through the concrete with the crate, something like that.

And he was in the back like, yo, dude, no, they were kind of doing that. But I think he was kind of bombing. Oh, really? Or like, whatever bombing looks like. for a spoken word guide like they weren't into it yeah um yeah that's my only time i spent it my and then i went to brad steeves house and his mom cooked me a bunch of food so that's my is that myelin in the nutshell yeah she can cook her mom his mom cook yeah it's a good meal yeah oh you had something yeah yeah yeah he grew up with brad sativa did you really yeah i did not

know they played yeah they were a year apart in high school and everything yeah yeah he can play yeah he can't play yeah he just can remember his plays he could play though he could have this played it's like it was important it's a big it's big it was a lot of dang brant dude i remember

that was a big point of contention between me and some coaches that I had in high school if you like did the wrong thing on a play they're like you're supposed to do that but you're just doing what you want to do and I go

do you think I'm actively going all right the way this play's drawn up I'm supposed to block that guy you know what i don't really feel like doing that i'm gonna blow i want to do a double slip instead you're like dude in the heat of battle i just forgot what was going on i'm sorry yeah it was a lot of it in the fog of war dude i lose track of all this stuff do it your way don't you no i'm not trying to do it i would like to do it your way sir

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code, Nateland at irrestore.com, you can unlock an exclusive discount on the I Restore Elite. That's Nateland at irrestore.com. Please support our show. Tell them we sent you. Oh, man. Queen Elizabeth II holds the record for appearing on more currency than any other person. Because, you know, England, they were an empire at one point. Australia to Trinidad and Tobago, her portrait has graced the currencies of 33 different countries. countries. Canada was the first to use her image in 1935. She was nine years old and she was a princess and they put her on the $20 bill. Oh, wow. Imagine being a nine year old and you're on the money for a country. You couldn't tell me anything. Imagine a adult trying to tell you something to do. Yeah. You ain't on no money. I'm sorry? What's in your pocket? Yeah. Let me see

your wallet real quick. And what's you got? Hey, dad, don't see your face on any type of currency. I wonder if they're going to make a movie about her. Oh, yeah. What would the movie be? I don't know. Just like how to be old? Put it in 4D. You ever see a 4D movie?

I never, I, no. Oh, dude. I don't think. Is that the one like spray water at you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think of bad. That's, I got on with the Disney world. I can't imagine that that's a good experience. It is.

It was fun. So I had my best movie experience was with Top Gun Maverick, 4D. Like, dude, that was the best movie. Yeah, dude, Tom Cruise was just... It was inside. Jurassic Park, that sucked. Why? Dude, they had a...

I feel like that would be the movie that makes more sense. You would think so. They built my hopes up. They gave us, like, ponchos and everything. Like, we, like... I'm like, oh, man. So we get there and it's like, dude, it's like a little bit... Mike said, yes, sir, put me in the splash zone.

Hold on, man. Oh, no. That's wild. So, so. Give me two. I need two ponchos. Dude, that was the worst. Like, it was just hot.

Like, the ponchos, it was just hot. Like, it was summertime. So the poncho, it wasn't, it didn't, like, it wasn't a lot of, like, water coming in. You didn't need to wear the poncho. No, and it was just sticking to our face. And it was loud. And, you know what I mean?

Yeah, this sounds terrible, too. It was terrible. Why would you do this? I don't know. So, but the, the scary experience, though, I took my dad to see Superman 4D. Okay. And have you all seen the new Superman? No, I have not.

Is this Superman 4D? No, no, it's just Superman. Okay. I should probably say, sorry, excuse me. No, no, I didn't know if it was the fourth Superman movie. Okay. No, so, so actually the fourth Superman, we'll talk about it. Okay, we'll do it a Superman episode next week, so hop in on that.

So on 4D, I took my dad and my son to see this, right? Yeah. My dad's like almost 70. And I thought, this is my fault, because I assumed he knew what a 4D movie was. He never asked. Like, I kept saying, we're going to go see it in 4D. And he never said, well, like, what's 4D about? That's what I would have did.

If I didn't know, he thought I was talking about it. He thought it was just the name of the movie. No, I was like, super, we're going to see it. in 4D. I kept saying that to him. Okay. I was very specific. So, so, so we go, uh, we go to see it. I think he thought we were going to see it in 3D. Okay. He wasn't prepared for that, that extra.

Dude. That one more. So, hey, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, welcome. I didn't think you were coming to the studio. Brian, breakfast, Bates, fresh, fresh off an Alaska Airlines flight. Came right from the airport, Brian. By the grace of God, I'm going to let you take this episode over, dude. But it's been a real pleasure trying to fill your shoes.

All right. You guys can leave now. Bates coming in, hi. We're here on the work program. Have you ever seen a 4D movie? No. So this is what I was telling them about. I didn't know they existed.

See, that's the same problem of your dad. Right. So we're the same age. No. So we, so I took him, I took my dad to go see Superman in 4D. Have you seen Superman? So the new one, if y'all haven't seen it, like there's no warming up. It's immediate action.

Straight in the age. I mean the most action. No plot. Nothing. As soon as you, it's just in it. So we go and like, I didn't expect it. but like the first as soon as the movie came out it's just shaking everywhere he had no idea

he didn't brace for it so he was like slipping out of his chair then he's like whoa what's going on here now here's why my son is dying by the way he's like now here's the problem I couldn't laugh because I was scared because listen dude they warm you up

like in the previews the chairs move a little bit Kind of to give you a little... Give you a warning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm like, dude, you didn't feel that in the beginning? He was like, oh, I mean, I felt it, but I thought I was leaning. I thought you were leaning, dude. We need to talk to a doctor or something, bro.

Like, you don't know him his chair's moving? He thought I was that motion sickness. Man, it was something. But, yeah, that is... If y'all haven't seen 4D movies, go see him. Now, the Spirit is doing the Wizard of Oz like that in Vegas. and I seen it. Is that good?

I hadn't seen it. I seen it on YouTube or something. It was an advertisement for it. Now, somebody had posted on Instagram is where I've seen it. And I showed my wife. Now, we plan on going out to Vegas at some point in time next year

to go see the Wiz of Oz. It was crazy. Yeah, and the Spirit dome they have out there. They had leaves and the wind and all that flying around and stuff. Yeah, that does look fun. So, yeah, yeah, I'm going to go, we're going to go check that out next year.

Now I report back on that version of the 4D. There was a movie theater in the Portland airport. this morning was there really yeah and it just said walk on in and enjoy it and so i just like stuck my head in people 4 30 in the morning and they're watching a movie like a full size kind of movie or was it no it was like probably held 20 people what was showing kind of place i do comedy come on come on i don't know what it was it wasn't something fun it was like uh it was like it was serious like a documentary but they're just people there i like that idea

i do yeah why you waiting on your flight a little bit. And you ironically would have had enough time to finish the movie if everything went correct, right? So talk us to your day. All right. So, because I'm so dedicated to this podcast, there was a direct flight from Portland to Nashville, but it was not going to get me here in time for the podcast.

So I took a flight, a 6 a.m. flight from Portland to Seattle, because that would get me home in time. But I got to Seattle fine, and then I'm on the plane and the weather's bad. And I think we're about to pull away And they're like, we got to de-ice the plane Which is weird Because it was like 50 degrees But I guess maybe once it gets up in the air, things change

So they de-ice the place They won't take too long, 30 minutes or something And then the weather was so bad They're like, we can't take off And then we were in a long line to waiting to go So I sat on the plane for about two hours before Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. so and then it's it's not like it's a quick flight once you get going

no it's a four and a half hour flight yeah yeah so jeez so i was there all day we'll do well we're glad you made it man yeah you wear compression sucks i no i probably should see you gotta think about stuff like i know what clots does that help on a plane compression sucks yeah really if you're on a long flight yeah all y'all do it not on every flight i'm trying to do long flights we mean about all y'all And when I flew overseas bald guys I don't know if you heard

but I'm not going to be bald after today I was showing them the I restore a leader yeah yeah yeah we're on Mike James will keep it for a couple of days I'm gonna get it for a couple days and did you should have a low fade about two weeks from now

did you show the video of Mike trashing me on television I didn't know so first of all I wanted to wait for you First of all, I didn't trash you on television. Do you send it to me, Brian? Yeah. What I did was, I explained this woman, she's interviewing me, but she's talking about me doing

impressions. I don't do impressions, but she was talking about Brian. Okay. I mean, we don't have to show it all. I think we'd like to watch it. I think we'd like to watch it. Somebody has requested Brian's impressions also. Did you go straight to the point?

Yeah, I think the time comes. codes you think in the yeah 348 i'm about yeah yeah yeah i gotta watch this dodge ram at real quick how do you know the time dude that's weird because i watch it once a day because brian'll never your pictures on my mirror he'll never forget no it's not that good yeah no i want to hear him talk about you once this ad loads yeah do you ever have a something on your mirror and motivate you a picture or something no i did what jordan newspaper ad a newspaper a newspaper ad? Not an ad.

A newspaper clipping. I don't know what I said. A newspaper. I'm not going to say with newspaper, but there was a newspaper talking about Nashville comedy, and they never mentioned me. Oh. I always use that for motivation. I know exactly what you're talking about.

Oh, I do, too. Yeah. This is Mike James sitting on a... And let me just sit up. I'm just home watching TV. I'm like, oh, boy, Mike James. Yeah, just enjoying your day. Yeah, exactly.

Let's see what Mike's up to. Here we go. We got Mike James, the local comedian on tour. That's the headline. I must be talking about you right there. Here we go. Look down at it is just a thing, right? And we all have it.

You know, if you have kids, you definitely have it. So, but that's all I'm really talking about. And we're in the early stages. Hopefully it'll be out sometime early next year. Okay. So on Nate's podcast, Nate Land podcast that you're on frequently, you guys do these impressions. No, no. Brian Bates does their thing.

I'm feeling good right now. Brian Bates is the worst impressionist. You've got to see. You just got to do Denzel Washington. It's the worst. I love it. I was dying. Okay, so when you.

If I could just give it some context, like when I say, I said the worst, I was, what I was talking about was the worst at Denzel, Not in pressure. Okay, okay, yeah. I would love to see a Denzel Washington breakfast. Well, cue it up.

I would love to see this. Which one you want to see? All right, last time I did Denzel from Training Day. Yeah. Today I'll do one from John Q. From Glory. Okay. Okay, let's go.

Tear it up. Tear it up. Hey, man. Tear it up. Yeah. What? I'm in the middle of my impression. What?

Hey, who was that? Hold on. Who are you impersonating? kid. I stood in Washington. Hold on. I know exactly what part he's talking about. Of course.

Well, why'd you interrupt me? Because it wasn't close. Hey, it was so, I thought it was a whole other movie. I was like, that's why I said, who are we doing again? You got to do it again. All right. No, no, no, I'm sorry. Okay, you're going to do somebody else there.

Now y'all are hurting my feelings a little bit. I mean, my, you know, Ving Rames? Can you do Ving Rames? Uh, we have the meat. Ving Rames are from Pulp Fiction That's fine Tell me when you read that That was probably not a line in Pulp Fiction

I could even say on the podcast Probably not It's a lot of lines Roe Fixing. Yeah, right Give me John Coffee from the Green Mile That's not Ving Rames No, I'm just trying

I was asking a different Oh, okay I just make sure you need Yeah, I know, I know That's Don Cheadle, right? I cannot think of a line that Vingraim says. Okay, yeah.

But this is, this is what some of these interview, and they're all well-intentioned, but what they'll do is they go, Mike James, and look at your Instagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was like probably one of the more recent videos was the impression.

Like, so you can do a lot of impressions, huh? And you're like, nah, but I'll use this opportunity to throw Brian Bates under the bus. Absolutely. And never going to pass up a good opportunity to do that. Why would I? Yeah.

Well, we've covered currency extensively. We got into the nitty-gritty. We talked about economic theory. we talked about monetary policies inflation all that like we covered everything yeah we were trying to find out who was on the dollar bill we saw you

um I was going back in the 20 was it 28 you know Tristan had me that's a $2 bill right there which is kind of fun oh wow it's fun to hold a $2 bill do you ever think about

currency society we just all agree upon that a piece of a paper with a one on it or a hundred on it or the difference. I mean, that's crazy to me. It is. Why do we all even, you know, agree upon that? It's really good paper, though. I mean, when that was too, too, we got, we got a movement going now. We were starting to pick up some traction here. Yeah. Let's go to the capital. You think of it. It's very odd. That all society just agrees that this is worth this and this is worth that. It's crazy. It doesn't make

sense. And Bitcoin is even worse. That's what I'm saying, people. in what way? Do you understand it less? Because it doesn't, you don't even see it. Like, you don't even see that. Like, that's not physical at all. So what am I saying has value? What do you mean? In Bitcoin, what has value?

The same way, the same way anything has value. It's what people are willing to pay for it. But it's not tangible. It's a thing. Bitcoin is a thing. It is. I mean, it's digital.

That's what I'm saying. But it's not like just an abstraction. And it's not like just a, you have a Bitcoin. You have an actual thing. Can I hold it? You can print it out and hold it if you want. I just don't understand cryptocurrency, really. Yeah.

I probably never will. But at least nowadays, most things are done digitally. Like, I actually get more checks now doing stand-up comedy than I did when I had a day job. Because my day job, I just get direct deposit in my bank. Everything goes in and out. A little flex right there. Big money, big money, banks. What was your first, your first job?

What did you get paid? We all talked about. I was 725, 525. You get wooden nails. 4-7? That was my last, that was, yeah, that was unnecessary. You're right, you're right. He's had a long day.

You didn't deserve that. That's my fault. That's on me. A wooded neck. You're right, you're right. Nate over here. Yeah. Seriously.

It was at a camp store. uh one summer at cedars 11th State Park and i think it was like 425 or something like that okay not not not far from yours that was a race yeah yeah it was four so i can't remember exactly but whatever the minimum wage was then okay that's great even i mean i think it's been 725 for like forever i don't know if it's gone up ever but luckily everything everything's less expensive now let me show this do you you best do you sell merch i used to i used to sell merch i'm working on I'm working on it. I find it interesting that we're, depending on where you're at in different parts of the country, they try to pay different ways.

Really? If you're in like a, this is made in my experience, if I'm in a small town or, go ahead. From in Atlanta, they use cash app. That's what I talk about. If I'm in Seattle, they use Venmo. No, if I'm in like, like this weekend in Portland in Seattle, everyone, everyone's, you know, if I'm in like this weekend in Portland in Seattle, everyone. one's trying to just tap their phone online, you know. Yeah, yeah. Chicago was that way. Everybody's come up. But you don't have the tap to pay on your thing? I figured it out last night. Okay.

No. But everybody's trying to do that. Whereas if I'm in some rural place, people all paying cash. Really? Yeah. I mean, not across the board, but a lot more. Yeah. They're just tech savvy up there too, right? Yeah. Yeah. So they're all tapping to pay. That makes sense. Yeah. But like, I can almost tell, like, if I'm going to go a certain place, probably get more cash and in other places, you know, cards, and then some places, you know, they just try to blink and send it to you. I remember

in a McDonald's drive-thew with my dad a long time ago and the guy in front of us used a credit card and my dad was like, wow. What's going on? My dad goes, look at that. He goes, credit card at McDonald's. I know.

Like it was embarrassing. And then like, I don't know if I've ever not. used the credit card. Everybody paying with the old debit card. But there was kind of, it was weird at first to do that, I guess, right? When I worked in college, I worked at a video store, and if someone came in to buy a movie and pay with a credit card, I would get so frustrated because I had to get out this

thing. Yeah, you had to just, yeah. And it was a whole thing. I'm like, dude, come on. You don't have $3 or whatever it was. How did you guarantee a return before a credit card at a rental store? would you just say like please bring it back well you charged to the to the account though right

yeah we had well they paid it we had an account set up with them with their information okay with their phone number I mean but it could all be fake I guess it could I don't know if we like but they couldn't rent again though right

because you had just go to another store and open up another account no you could but I'm saying like you had a card though right you know like a family video card yeah it's hard of remember we had a drop box with a video, which is not what you're asking, but like a video camera. So a lot of people say, I returned it.

Oh, okay. And then we could go to the camera to say, no, you didn't. I'm saying, if you give, I remember if you give them credit card, then if you don't return on time, they got your card on file. Right. They just charge you. But if you don't have that, then it's like, I don't know. I don't think about renting a car before you had to give a credit card.

You're like, please, just please bring it back. Right. Yeah. That's about all they can do, I guess. Yeah, that is great. Or a hotel or anything. I don't know how anybody did anything before that. I mean, I know that y'all did.

That's for my time. I know they did. I don't know what you do. It ain't mean. What did you do? Yeah, Bates, what did you do? Come on. What did I do before Craig?

And GPS and all the. I remember one point in time you could just, I mean, do the hotels, you just paid cash or whatever and just. Man, GPS. You had to have the cash right now. I was telling this this weekend. Last time I was in Tacoma and you were, you were there too. And the last night there,

phone, the port, it wasn't, the charger wouldn't go in. I remember this. And I could not figure out why. And I was almost out of battery. I was freaking out. Yes. I'm like, I don't even know how to navigate life without my phone now. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm in a strange city, I don't know. Yeah. So the next day, like I Googled Apple Store in Tacoma, and I literally wrote down the directions, which I had not done in forever. Oh, wow. So I was afraid my phone was going to die. And I made it, and it was just like lint in my phone or something. They cleaned it out.

It was nothing serious. You didn't look? I did. I was deep in there. I couldn't see anything. It was deep in there. Piece of a wood nickel. Again, it was wood nickel.

But, yeah, GPS now. I can't even remember how we used to do it. I remember printing out the map quest. Yeah. That's when I started driving. And I'll reset the trip on my. on my car. Oh,

like at 7.5 miles, I just reset the truck. That's smarter than I never thought to do that. I used to work at True Green, and we used to have to, like, map out in the mornings. Before we went out, we had to map out, like, our route.

Yeah. Like with a map. And it was, yeah, that took forever. Yeah, that's a talent my pops have that was not passed down to me. He could pull out, he used to go referee basketball before GPS and all there.

So he'd go to these little small towns, big Sandy, all these little, and he'd be like, he just rip out the map and just be like, all right, here we go. And then just find his way there. I don't know how they did it. I talked to a truck driver after my show in Cincinnati this weekend. He was like, you're getting home tomorrow? I was like, yeah, he goes, make sure you take 264.

They take 264 to get to 65 and then on the way down. Don't take 265. I go, hey, dude, we just travel differently. Right. I'm typing it in Google Maps and I'm doing what it says. I can't piece together some crazy route. He's a truck driver. This is what he does.

But I'm like, dude, I'm just going to do what it tells me to do. That's funny. Yeah, I trust my GPS over somebody's. I have people in my life to do that. Like, make sure you turn to that McDonald's and go, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I'm just going to do whatever. My GPS is. There's a real science to it.

Yeah. My granddad was a truck driver, too. He would tell you how to get anywhere. just named off the highways interstate highways boom boom boom boom I mean like

I don't know what you're talking about yeah it's a different language did you talk about the first athlete that was a billionaire we did

they knew it right away yeah but that info was wrong the info that we got it said there's only been two basketball billionaires

Michael Jordan and LeBron but we missed a big one mm-hmm who you no Yeah, not me If it was me

If I was a billionaire I don't think I would talk to anybody Like I really wouldn't For what? Family or anything? No Nobody I'm not saying I wouldn't communicate

I wouldn't talk Your people Okay Who was it magic? Yeah magic Yeah Because he's like owner of the Dodgers Owner of the Dodgers

Owner of a soccer team I want to say part owner Commanders Yeah I mean two championships in the world. But LeBron earned his plane. Oh, okay.

But and in the husband. Yeah, it wasn't. Yeah, but they did it in retirement, but LeBron's so good. Yeah. I mean, well, I wouldn't say necessarily that he's, he is great. Don't get me wrong.

I'm saying, but where they're at, the money that you can generate now from different and not just, not just basketball, like, yeah, it's different from back when, I mean, he's just standing on Magic and Jordan's shoulders. She just thought I thought that in me.

And Larry Bird. It says Magic only made about $40 million from his salary as a basketball player over the course of his career. And his net worth is $1.5 billion. Wow. So he did a pretty good job with that money. If you're a honest question, it might be a dumb one. But if you're a millionaire or a billionaire, does that mean you make that much money in one year? Or if you have like a 10-year contract?

it's it's the value of all your assets currently so like you can be if you have a 800,000 home and you have you know a hundred thousand dollar car you could be a millionaire and you're not making anywhere close to a million I think it's the value of all your assets but like Shohei Otati what was his contract like 700 million or something oh yeah with 68 million deferred every year so he's getting two million a year and then after 10 years he'll get It's $68 million a year. Okay. Wow.

So he's slumming it right. He's slumming it. But he's making, you know, obviously, endorsement money and everything else. It's a big, big deal with a new balance and a couple other companies. Yeah. So he's doing fine. Yeah. I'm not going to cry for it.

Nah. Yeah. All right. What else you'll talk about? I want to put in my two cents worth. I mean, we covered a lot, dude. Like, um, we were wondering. where you were at.

That's the main thing. I think this is the longest road trip I've ever had for comedy. Really? How long were you going? I left Wednesday. Okay. Wednesday night. That is, I mean, that's pretty far.

I mean, it's just a lot of. Where'd you go again? I was in Plano, Texas, Wednesday night. Mike dropped comedy club. Aaron's parents came. Yeah, yeah. They had a good time. That was fun.

And then Thursday, I was in Waco, Texas. And then Friday, Saturday in Tacoma, Washington. And then last night in Portland. All right, cool. Oh, wow. Yeah. Are you back out this weekend, too? Yeah, a little bit different.

Back on the easier-to-drive tour. Okay, yeah. I'm in Georgetown, Kentucky on Friday, which is just north of Lexington, Kentucky. All right. And then Saturday, I'm in Abingdon, Virginia. Abington. Which is close to, like, the Tri-Cities. It's right on kind of close to Tennessee, Virginia line.

Okay. Yeah. Bristol area? Yeah. Yeah. You know what's funny. When Leon Morgan was on a few weeks ago, we talked about Food City, and I asked her if that was based in Knoxville. And it's actually based in Avenue, Virginia. Is it really? Oh, man. So, yeah, so I got two off the beaten path locations. Back to your bread and butter. Yeah. This is back to.

Easier to drive. Back to Brian Bates country. That's what I'm talking about, man. We talked about the Milky Way and the Indromeda Galaxy colliding in 4.5 billion years. You're concerned about that? I mean, if nanites work out and everybody takes it, you don't know about nanites? I thought you said Mennonites. Mennonites. What is that? Middite.

That's like Amish. Like Diet Amish. Yeah. What? Diet Amish. What was he saying? David was like, yeah, that's right. What are they saying?

Mike, I have a question for you. Okay. Yeah. I saw video you this week on Robyn Nate. And it was, you were. walking up on stage as Julian introduced you. I don't know if there was any audio or not with it, but you look so smooth.

You never, your pace never changed and you look like you did it perfectly. Whereas when I do those radio shows with Nate, I'm trying to, it's not like you walk out of the back of a green room. You're trying to time your walk through the crowd. You got to walk about 100 yards to get to the stage. Yeah.

Well, you don't sit on the side. I do sit on the side on the chairs. But still, you got a time. you get up and start going and if Julian throws in one extra line it just worked out uh okay that makes you know what it is too like if he sees you like if you're in his path and he can see you he'll he'll time it for you well he look good right appreciate so many times i'll walk up there and then i just have to stop yeah just hold up hey how's it going i'm about to go up there i got stop and take a breath

too yeah yeah i'm trying to find it here you're talking about because i think i saw this guy's security No, I'm about to go up. He timed that perfectly, though. Like, this was a... It looked good. It looked good. I appreciate it. Look at that, dude.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. A couple people there. See, right now is when I'm not having to stop. But you just... I wasn't stopping either. Like, if he could have been still talking out. I would still been walking over that.

Let me see if I can dub this. Yo, what up, ATL? What's going on? I don't know if y'all know if y'all know it or not. That's what I said? What up, ATL? I don't know if y'all know if y'all know it or not, but I'm 16. six and nine six five.

Mike's went straight up there. Yeah. Becky home. Yeah. You forget about iron in the back of your shirt. Man.

You know, a normal show, you only got an iron in the front. And then in the round, you're like, oh, no, my back is a disaster,

dude. Ryan Hamilton, that's a good show. That's a good show. Ron's so funny. It was a great show. And honestly, it's like if Nate

didn't even show up, it'd be a good show. That's an all-star show. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That's a good line up there. Yeah.

Yeah, man. State Farmery. How big was that? I don't know. 17, 18, though? I don't know. You have to look it up. Pretty big.

It's just crazy. Yeah. It's something bad. I don't know. He won't 17, 18. And how was, I mean, I know it's a couple weeks ago, but, or maybe longer Chicago. Dude, that was a dream.

You already know how, man. Did you come up to Jordan's music? Huh? Did you come out to? I wanted to. Now, what was funny is, like, that whole week I was so excited. I wanted to text Nate. But, you know, it's like, I mean, you know, everybody's texting them, calling them.

So I was like, but I, like, I had to erase text. It was stupid texts. Who worry about the text? Like, once I had, like, like, two goats, like, facing each other. So, like, I was like, you're the goat and, you know, you're going to be at the house of the goat. I was like, I was a good call. Yeah, I was like, you know what? I'm not going to say that.

Hey, dude, feel free to run that by me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should I send this to me? I would have. I wish you had. I was like, I ain't going to send that to him. It would have been like, late Mayprud have been like, you know, just hold, just hanged back. Yo, you know, brother.

Were you going to say anything or just have two goats? Two goats. And then I was, because he's thinking, you're talking about him in my mind. In my mind, I'm thinking he's going to think, well, what's this? And then I was going to respond like, hey, it's two goats. You and joined. From one goat to another. 45 and 23, you know what I'm saying?

Oh, man, but, you know, thank God I had a better idea. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good call. Yeah. It was close to me, I mean. It's a tough balance to strike because you want to be appreciative. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you want to do all that, but you don't want to be that guy.

I don't want to be the guy sending a picture of two goats. I was, you got to understand, though, like the United Center was such a... You're saying this would be like me opening for Nate at Notre Dame Stadium or something like that. Yeah, so I get the gravity of it. Yeah. And the sentimental value of it is crazy. I was so excited. So I was just like talking myself off a ledge that entire week before because I was going

to text him the whole week just like, just stupid stuff. Just dumb stuff. And I'm so glad I can't wait to sniff the locker room. Yeah, man. It's going to be cool, right? Would you have thrown up in that locker room? If I would have woke up and didn't know where I was at, I would have threw up. Brian asked if they wanted to be an astronaut when they grew up.

And Mike said he, he gets motion sick. He woke up and forgot where he was and threw up. In my locker, in the locker room at Valle State. I like, I woke up and didn't, but it was enough. Are you going on the cruise? Right. That's what they said. But it was enough just to throw me off enough where it made me dizzy.

And I threw up. Like, it was so crazy. Wait. Hey, that is insane. You woke up in the locker room. I woke up in a locker. The lights were out. somebody came and then cut the lights out they were trying to be nice okay you fell a sleeping locker

yeah yeah and they turned it off and you woke up like where am i yeah yeah and you threw up i mean it wasn't like i was like where am i and did it's like and you're making fun your dad for 4k yeah yeah yeah technically it's his fault i get these are his jeans i'm yeah yeah yeah i mean i can't help this so but uh that's why i wouldn't be an astronaut that's a f r yeah that's why I don't like to throw up. There's a lot of things I won't do because I'm scared to throw up. Basically, you have any. Like working out.

Go ahead. No, no, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. I was just going to say, like, I don't, working out. I don't, I won't, like, I hate working out because it makes me feel like I'm going to throw up. Y'all don't do that.

No, no, I don't do that. Oh, y'all work out. Is that what you're telling me? I hadn't worked out in the wild, the last time I did. I didn't like throwing up. Me and Jay worked out all the time on the road. oh yeah we hike up waterfalls and do things we do we do go hiking yeah yeah i've been hiking which that was fun where do what is that considered hiking i don't know it's considered hiking

we were walking where uh in california we went to uh oh yeah well we did walk around a lot that we didn't we didn't have them to do a real hike but we walked all around what when is it considered a hike when am i not just walking i got to wear a timblins that's crazy you know what That might be a part of it. You have to wear special shoes. You gotta get off. Yeah, no paved, nothing paved. No.

So we were off the paved road a little bit. We just didn't have time to do like a full, full hike, but I wanted to go see L-Cap and go see all that stuff. So we went to check it out. Yeah, we did a little hiking. Okay. Did you ever want to be an astronaut at one point in time of your life? Oh, yeah. When I was little, yeah.

You did? I mean, yeah. Never seriously. like once I realize what it entails yeah yeah but when I was seven yeah I did yeah you want to be a hero you know it would be a conqueror right I just thought it was so cool that they were up there conquering place right yeah yeah what'd you want to be huh what about you uh I thought about it for a little while and I was like you know what I just really enjoy the skies from on the ground we got a pretty good view down here yeah maybe I'll get a toast I am

arrested and stuff like that, but I didn't know. So I asked Dusty this, if you got the chance to go up in space, like as a tourist, would you do it? No. Well, well. Paid for. You don't have to pay any money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a free trip.

Like one of those Katie, like the Katie, you have to be on a thing with Gail King and Katie Perry. Here's another thing too. I probably should include. I'm scared of heights. Okay. But y'all knew that, right? Yeah. Okay. Let's go, let's do this the other way. What are you not scared of? And then we'll find something to do. So, hold on. Like,

It sounds like a lot I'm only scared of heights And spiders And motion No, I'm not scared of And the darkness And the unknown I just can't handle that

That's a difference But like spiders and heights is it But do you get scared of flights? Yes Okay Yeah, absolutely So you're not taking the window seat So we don't take the window seat

But I let the shade there No need you take a window seat If you're scared Well I take the window seat I need something to lay on Oh, the side. That makes sense. I really use that.

And then plus, like, when I'm on Southwest, that's the only first class is the exit row. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you what, Jay and I have pretty good batting average if nobody's sitting between us on the flight. Oh, yes, sir. I love every minute of it, too.

They'll be like, there's only one empty seat on this plane. Jay are like, we're good. Yeah. I'm so used to flying Southwest and grabbing a seat that when I got on today, Alaska. And there's like an empty seat perfect. I would be like, is that seat taken? Yeah, yeah.

And they're like, yeah, by whoever bought it. Oh, I didn't do it, but it was, I'm so tempted because I'm used to just grabbing an empty seat. We've got two months left. January 25th, I believe, is the last, is the first day of assigned seating. How y'all feel about that? I think it's going to be, I think it's going to be good. You like that?

What do you think? I don't mind it because I get tired of people that don't belong in X-Roe, being in the X-Roe. I can look at. you physically and be like, you're not helping us get off this play. Let me tell you something. Let me guess. This is going to be about being tall. All you people out there, if you are not at least six feet, you have no business.

Nobody has ever thought they were more interesting than a tall guy on a plane. No, no, no. Listen, if you are not six feet. My husband's six, too, so I'm saving the seat for him. Yeah, I don't care about your husband, dude. That's my wife. That's what my wife does. She always saved seats, though.

I'll tell her you said that. But you think, like, a little short person shouldn't be, like... Why? Why are you there? And first of all, what are you going to do if we're getting an emergency? I tell you. Are you going to really help me off? What are you going to do?

I'm scared. Of course I'm going to be there. What the last flights that we were on. It was an older lady sitting there with a whole makeup bag and everything in the seat next to it. I was like, why are you? You have a whole makeup bag. You put your makeup on. So if it goes down, you're saving your makeup.

bag before you opening that door to save anybody else. Like, why are you sitting right here? Oh, that would make me so, man. Oh, she had the one of the long let the one you like, you know, no seat in the front. That's where she was sitting there, too. I'm sitting right behind her just, like, hating her the whole flight, just, oh.

She was a hot five, too. She was a hot five two. Yeah, that's it. Feet dangling. Yeah, I even kind of, you know, I mean, I ain't even six feet and I walk past her, like, what are you doing? So that's just a little rule, six feet below, do not get in the exit row.

Okay. That's fair? That's fair. I guess I can't sit in the exit roll. How's all you? You're about 5.11? 5.10. You can pass for six feet.

No, he can't. I don't even go to that. Hide inspector over here. Mike James is on the plane. You in the Xero. He comes back with a ruler. Stand up. I'm just saying.

listen you like to discriminate no yeah you got to sit in the back of the plane Brian I don't get away you're saying exactly so where you're going to be at this weekend we're about to do that we're about to wrap up I've already told mine

yeah well do it again for everybody Friday thank you for coming here oh thanks for having you guys yeah yeah appreciate it You didn't have, but it was nice that you did. Yeah. In our 280 episodes or whatever we've done, I think it's the first time that three of the four hosts have not been here.

Yeah. Now, are you, did you like the way that felt and you're going to do that now? Like, Nate, like your time? Like, yeah, y'all get rolling at 3.30. I'll roll in when I feel like rolling in. I rolled in even later than Nate does. Yeah. To get to another level.

Georgetown, Kentucky on Friday and Abingdon, Virginia on Saturday. tickets on my website I'd love to see you that's awesome well you might do you want to plug anything you want to say I'll be in Dallas this weekend

at the the Arlington Improv with Godfrey awesome Thursday I'd be in Knoxville doing a bedtime storytelling comedy type show so it's going to be a lot

wait whoa what hold on you do it A bedtime story. No, it's just like, it's a comic show based off. If you want to see me read. I added that extra.

Oh, okay. But now, it's a comic show. If you gave a mouse a pancake, you shouldn't have Jake. It's a comic show just based on story. It's like storytelling jokes on it with us. So I be in Knoxville doing that on Thursday. No,

no, I'm being funny. That's funny. I'd be in Knoxville on Thursday, Knoxville, Tennessee, and then Friday and Saturday, I will be on a blackout tool. with unofficial,

black him out to it with Mr. Weble. Yeah, Tulsa, Tulsa, Oklahoma at the Tulsa Looney Bin, which is a great club. I'm excited to be there Friday and Saturday. Let me plug one more weekend because coming up, Thanksgiving's next week. And then I'm going to be in a comics roadhouse in Connecticut.

It's an uncassville or Uncassville or Unkisville or Unkville. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Comics Roadhouse. Is it Yucaville? U-N-C-A-S-Ville. I think it's Yucaville. Uncasville.

And then Philadelphia, Philadelphia, at the helium. That's a big show for me, that December 7th. So if you can come out to that, that'd be great. Thank you guys. Oh, can I pull a plug one more thing? No. Okay. I was in Tampa this week with Nate.

I'll be back at the Tampa, Funny Bone, January 8th. Nice. Awesome, dude. Good deal. Well, that was fun. Thank y'all for coming, dude. Thanks for having. Appreciate you having us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You sign us out, dude. What? Sign us out. Okay. Thanks for coming in, Mike. Jay, thanks for coming in, filling in for me last minute. No problem.

I don't know if I was feeling in for you, but I was here. Filling in for somebody. That's fair. That's fair. Aaron, thanks for holding down the fort. We tried. We'll be back next week. We love you.

Thank you. Now this is also nice. God bless. Benvenitos. Hey!