The Nateland Podcast - 28: #28 | Unraveling the Mysteries of the Solar System

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

This week, the guys delve into the difference between comets, asteroids, and meteors, how to memorize the order of the planets by a simple sentence, and which podcast guests most identify with each planet as the guys learn about the Solar System.  Warby Parker: WarbyParker.com/NATELANDOur listeners can buy one prescription pair and get 20% off any additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/NATELAND — and using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #adQuo: Quo.com/NATELANDMoney is on the line. Always say hello with QUO.  Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to Quo.com/NATELAND. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. See the reviews, see what stands out, and see if BetterHelp is right for you. Visit Betterhelp.com/PUBLICFIGURES. Factor: FACTORMEALS.com/nate50offLet’s eat real. Head to FACTORMEALS.com/nate50off and use code nate50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. See website for more details.

Hello, common folk. Jeez. Welcome to the puppet figure podcast. We are public figures. You are common folk. I think that's obvious. But if you don't know, as always, Dusty Slay.

Okay, okay. All right. We're having a good time. You're caught off guard there. Yeah. As almost always, Aaron Weber. Almost always. I missed one episode, man.

I think that would constitute almost always. Okay. Yeah, I guess so. And always, Brian Bates. Welcome, guys. Yeah. Welcome to the show. This is our 12.

28th episode. Does that sound right? And so you're 27 out 28. That's beyond almost always. Thanks, man. Yeah, that's what percentage would it be? Like nine? I mean, almost 100%. Yeah. We don't need to get into the nitty-gritty. Let's think about batting average. If you were 27 or 28, I'd be in the Hall of Fame. I would hope so. Yeah. I could retire now and be in the Hall of Fame. Yeah, yeah. But the one you missed. But what if you went, let's say, but you batted a hundred times. Okay. You went 27 of 28. and then struck out after the 28th. So I'd go 27 for 100.

Yeah. I'd be batting 270, which is not bad. It's still pretty good average. But would they would, but you think that it would go against you that somehow you like almost went, you know, 28 for 28 and then suddenly could never hit the ball again. Yeah. That happens all the time in baseball. Does it? People go on hot streaks and then they never.

get there again. There are guys that win rookie of the year and then you never hear their name ever said again. You think they get cocky? Oh, wouldn't you? Have you got rookie of the year in comedy? Well, I may be, but yeah, I mean, I think it's always important to humble yourself because, listen, when I go out on stage, as you wear your dusty hat, when I go out on stage, this could be any dusty. When I go out on stage, I never get. I, I never go, I'm about to crush. The moment I do, it falls apart. But you've been in a club and there's a comic not doing well. And maybe you're watching off to the side. And deep in your brain, you're thinking, I could get them. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. It's hard to watch a show that you're not on,

isn't it? It is one of the worst things is watching a stand-up show that you're not on. Yeah. Like, God, get me up there. Let me do something. You're always thinking, how would I do up there? Of course. Even if it's going well, you're like, I'd get a standing elevation. Dusty said it at my rehearsal dinner for my wedding. Anytime people are talking, in your comic, you're in the back going, I bet I'm going to get up there and talk at some point. Just be ready to, and you did end up going there and talking.

Yeah, it was nice. Didn't you go visit a church and you got mad and left because the pastor wouldn't let you speak? You wanted to take the mic and he wouldn't let you? I don't know. I don't know that it went down like that. I did go to a church for the first time, and they asked all the people that were there for the first time to stand up. And then they took a microphone around to them to introduce themselves. And they let everybody else talk.

But because I was by myself, I guess, the guy kind of talked for me. And I'm like, I'm the one guy that wants to do this. I'm the one guy you want behind the mic. Yeah. Okay. So I thought he wouldn't hand the mic to you. and you wanted to take it. You thought Dusty walked up mid-sermin and was like, let me tell y'all what's what.

Yeah. I've never left the church mad. I did go to a church one time that turned out to not really be a Christian church. It was just some kind of. Baptist. Some kind of new agey. Like, it was like, I don't know. I was just like, whoa, I had my Bible in there.

And I was like, they go, you ain't going to need that, brother. Get on that. And I did leave. I didn't leave mad, but I did leave. I go. I don't think this is what I, what I expected. You see John Travolta? I love that guy. Stick around a while. Well, he would have got me to stick around for a minute. Yeah, yeah. Well, welcome. I was going to ask something else. I already forgot now what we were talking about beforehand. Let's see. I don't think we've talked about anything yet. Well, bad at the average. Oh, I think I was going to say, I think Tony Gwyn has some crazy. stat where he could go the next oh for a thousand or something like that and still be betting above 300 yeah he could do like an entire season of just striking out yeah yeah yeah yeah that's nuts yeah that's crazy well welcome I'm glad to see you guys I was I was home this weekend just doing stuff around

the house could have been working no I couldn't actually but tried I tried very hard very hard it could not get anyone to take me Got kicked off some shows. Showing up. Where were you guys? I was out with Nate this weekend. We were in Queens.

And then Newark, New Jersey. I had never been to Newark. I think I've been there. Yeah. I don't think I'm going back anytime soon. And then I'm kidding. Okay. I was going to say it didn't go.

No, the show was great. But it's, there's an old joke. I think it was an old Jeff Ross joke. He said Newark. Newark Airport is the Newark of airports. Okay. You ever hear that joke? No.

But everybody was great. Everybody's very nice. Yeah. And then Hartford, Connecticut last night. Now, where were you in Queens? Elmont, New York. I'd never heard of it. Okay.

But it's in New York City. It's on Long Island, I think, but it's not, it's its own thing. Elmont, New York. It's next to, I think it's called Belmont. There's a racetrack or something out there. But I had never heard of Elmont. The Belmont Steaks? Yeah, yeah.

Triple Crown? I think so. Okay. But this is Elmont. Okay. It's where the Islanders play. Oh. That was the venue.

I feel like the more you explain, the more confusing again. Yeah. That's why I just said Queens. You're like, it's in Queens. But it's Elmont by Belmont. Yeah, he least took it. Like if it was me, I would have said New York City, then you said, we're at New York City. Queens.

We're wearing Queens. Elmont. It's dear Belmont. Look, I botched it. All right. No, I'm saying you did better than I would. And who were you with besides Nate? Ryan Hamilton was out there.

Nick Novicki was there, Julian, and who am I missing? Joe Zimmerman. Nice. So, yeah, it was a good group. It was a good group. Fun weekend. Hot show. Yeah.

About you, Dussie? I was at the comedy connection in Providence, Rhode Island, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Great, great club, great shows. Had you been there before? I had. I was there in 2020. I was in there in August of 2020. Like, you know, I was in that time of the year, in 2020, I was pretty depressed because I had had two months of no-shows.

And then I was like, I think. Which, by the way, was the shortest stretch for any comedian in the country. Yeah. The world. Yeah. I mean, I was working. Yeah, I know. By like four years.

Yeah. And then, yeah. And, yeah, I mean, man. in June of that year was hot for me. And then like July and the second half of June and July was, but I was there in August and we're doing like 75, it seats about 250. We're doing 75 people in there. And it was great. But I, you know, because I was. That time. That time. You said you were there in August. I'm like. August of 2020. Okay. It had reduced capacity. Yeah. And I was like pretty depressed because I thought the world was never going to go back to normal. And it hasn't in a lot.

lot of ways, but it mostly has. And I was like, I'm going to find something else to do, I think, because comedy's never coming back. That's what I thought. And then I went and did comedy, a comedy connection. And I was like, I was revived. I was like, wow, comedy's fun. Wow. So then I had, back then I had no kids. So now I return, Providence, Rhode Island, six years later with three kids. And it was awesome. depressed. Yeah. No, it was great.

I had a lot of fun. I was supposed to go to Halifax, Nova Scotia, on Sunday to the Great Outdoor Comedy Festival, but I could not get there. What happened? My flights kept getting, I had a flight booked early in the morning. I was going to do my shows, drive to Boston, get up in the morning, fly to Montreal, connect to Halifax. It got delayed.

my first flight got delayed far enough to make me miss my connection my show was at 2.30. So I had to make it there by a specific time. And then I was like, maybe just going to fly that night, drive to Boston and fly that night. And I got all the way to Boston and the show got canceled or the flight got canceled. So I just couldn't get there. So then I had my whole plan to fly back from Halifax. to Nashville. But then to find a flight from Rhode Island, I couldn't find one. It was like 1,500 to 2,000 bucks to get back. So I found an airport in, what was it? New Haven.

New Haven, Connecticut. And Derek Humphrey, who opened for me in Providence, had to pass through there on the way back. So it was two hours down. Smallest airport I've ever seen. Very chaotic. So small that I got there way early. My flight was at 4.30. I got there at like 11. I got there at 10, actually. They would not let me check my bag. They were like, we can't do it until three hours before. Yeah.

So I had to leave. I didn't know anything in New Haven. I ubered to a restaurant by the beach because I thought, well, the beach is safe. I don't know what's going on in this city, but the beach is safe. But you got your luggage. I got all my luggage. So I went. Yeah, I got two bags and one's big.

And so I'm like walking around. The restaurant's not open. yet. I had to pee. I found a porta potty. And peed in a porta potty with the door open so that my luggage wouldn't get taken. And then finally the restaurant opened and I sat there for about an hour. I ate a sandpiper bar and grill or something like that. I was about the only person in there. It was good, though. And then I ubered to a cigar shop called the Vanguard cigar shop and hung out there. Aaron. It's great. Me and that guy are buddies now. I don't know his name. He knows mine, but we're buddies now.

Were you wearing that hat? No, no. But I told him what I was up to. Let him know what was going on. Yeah. So you had a drastically different day than you thought you would. Yeah. I mean, I was looking forward to doing the Adam Ray show as Dr. Phil with Pauly Shore up in Halifax, Nova Scotia. I was thinking, my show's going to be starting at 2.30. We'll be done by. a, you know, four, four-thirty at the latest. And that's just your set. Yeah, yeah. I got the rest of the night to kind of hang in this cool Halifax town and walk around and get some, you know, maybe get some, you know, biblically clean seafood somewhere. And, uh, but no, none of that happened.

And you're just in the port of John in New Haven, Connecticut. Yeah. That airport was, that was the smallest, most, I mean, it's so busy. When you think a small airport, you think empty. and nothing going on. I mean, it was so busy and so tiny. You know, New Havens consider the pizza capital of the world. They have the best pizza in the world there. I didn't know that, but the longer I was there,

the more people started talking to me. The guy at the cigar shop said, all the Italians from New York have now basically moved up to Connecticut. Right. And that's where all the pizza's at. Nova Scotia's known for some of the most biblically clean seafood. Is it? Anywhere.

Yeah. too bad he missed out of that. And, but it is too bad. I had a guy, did they tell me, he saw you at the airport. He walked past you and he said, we're having a nice day. He said, Dusty almost acted like, you know what I was talking about. I'm like, I bet he didn't. Yeah.

That's not his saying. Yeah. And then I told him, he's like, oh, no, that's what I said. That's what I said. I'm like, I bet he didn't. We're hanging in there. Yeah, we're having a nice day. Okay, buddy.

It kind of blew me off when I said it. Also, he must have said it in a weird way or I had my headphones in because... You would have responded. Yeah, if somebody just said, we're having a nice day to me, I would say, yeah, we are. Yeah, we are, buddy. Yeah. Good for you. Now, school's starting back this week for...

I mean, just to that guy. I mean, I made all kind of friends in the New Haven Airport because we were so close together. And we were all like, we don't know how we ended up here. We just found out about this airport today, some airline Avello. We just all had to download the app. All had to, we had to, you know. Is it a Velo or a Velo? I don't know.

But it was. Nobody said it out loud. I don't know. The speakers were so bad in there. But it's, you know, the airplane was great. They charge you for everything. Yeah. You book a flight.

And then your seat cost extra. And then your. bag, checked bag cost extra, and then your carry-on bag cost extra. And then they moved me from seat 10 to seat 20. But the airplane went all the way up to 15, and then from 15, it went to 20. So I don't know why they skipped those five numbers, but it went, you know, numerically to 15. And then number 20. No 16, 17, 18, I don't know why they did that.

I thought it might be like, you know, hotels never have the floor 13. Yeah. You ever notice that? Yeah, have, yeah. Man, I used to hate shopping for glasses. I wear contacts, but I wear glasses more and more now. But I used to hate shopping for them.

And then I found Warby Parker. Used to be, it was confusing, it was overpriced, the styles. I always wanted a dusty slice style. Not everyone has it. This guy has great style. That's true. You know, I'm just trying to buy some glasses. Shouldn't be this hard.

I love Warby Parker. Nothing comes close on their quality. selection, their amazing customer service. Their virtual try-on is a total game changer. You can literally try them on. Here's the thing. I used to live in East Nashville, then I moved to the west side of town. You guys have never been in my house. Westside?

I don't want to drive it over at East Nashville to get new glasses. We park or just do it from home. Abby got them, our producer Abigail, there's some video of her trying on her glasses. She got the Alston in Poblano. They looked just as good in person, so the virtual try-on was spot on. She gets tons of compliments on them. Well, we were just complimenting her today about it. Yeah.

I said, dang, those glasses look good. Yeah. That's what we said. They also offer contacts, online eye exams, and sunglasses. It's all in one place. You can even get into one of their 300 retail stores if you prefer. Plus, they're covered by major eye insurance plans. And the best part, prescription glasses start at just $95. Wow. Unbelievable. Right now, buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional pair at Warbyparker.com slash Nate Land. That's 20% off any additional pair when you purchase one pair at W-A-R-B-Y-Parker.com slash NateLand. But it was a great time.

Sounds like it. Sorry, guys. But I just wanted you to tell. I made friends with people in there. That's good. Like, we're having a great day. Lifelong friends? No one's really a lifelong friend, are they?

I guess that's true. Who's the oldest friend that you still have regular friends? contact with? I have two, I think. I don't know. I don't want to say, because I have a lot of friends. But how far back do they go? Elementary school?

Yeah, I have a couple. They go to elementary school, yeah. You're in a fantasy football league for like 50 years now, right? I think this will be year 32. Yeah, that's wild. But that's coworkers. Yeah. That was my childhood friends.

It's the guys I work with. That was after college. It was. I have some high school friends that I'm still close with. Yeah. That I talk to pretty regularly. So I've been at a high school for 36 years now, I think. Yeah.

So I had a buddy. Just moved here to Nashville. It was my best friend in kindergarten. Wow. It was my friend all growing up. I think you'll reconnect? We hung out the other day. Yeah.

You know, when I... It sounds like no. You hang out and you go, well, we really went different paths. Not even in a bad way, but it can't be like that where you're like, our lives went completely different directions. It's nice to catch up, but there's no need to try to make this a thing. Not saying that's your situation, but I've been in there where I'm like, I loved hanging out. This was so great. It's great to reminisce.

Let's not do it again for a while. I went to a very small public school, smallest in Wilson County. And I had the same best friend first through eighth grade. And we're still friends on Facebook, so occasionally I'll see something. But I rarely see him. And I had a show a couple months ago in Gallatin. And he came up to me after the show. And I didn't even recognize him until he said something.

I'm like, whoa. That's cool. Yeah. What had happened to him? I mean, he's doing great. He's there with his wife. He happened to him. Like, I didn't recognize him. I mean, it's been a long time.

Gain some weight. Plastic surgery. He looked better than I did. I would say that. Oh, okay. Yeah, he looked good. But, yeah. So, anyway, what I was going to ask is school starting back this week for a lot of kids.

Does Daisy start kindergarten? You're not even sure. No, we're going to homeschool for kindergarten. We don't know what we'll do next year, but we are going to homeschool for kindergarten. That's pretty easy. I think she's already, she's already learned everything. She's in her time stables and stuff? I mean, she's going to be there.

Yeah, I'm kidding. That's way past. I mean, she's doing math. She's reading. Long division, that kind of stuff. Yeah, she'll be there. But if you homeschooled, do you still have to follow a schedule of other schools? I don't think you do for kindergarten.

But we are, though. I don't think you have to for kindergarten, but we are. We have a whole like homeschool curriculum thing. So you're already doing kindergarten? Yeah. Okay. And like we got the curriculum and it's like the stuff Hannah's been doing with it. She's already like basically.

Yeah. Through that. Okay. That's cool. Yeah. You're a year or two away, right? A year. Okay.

Yeah. She's got one more year preschool and then kindergarten next year. Is that going to be tough or is that going to be a relief? Well, I mean, she's already in preschool. So if anything, she's going to have fewer hours in school. Yeah. Then she does now. Yeah.

We've still got to figure out where she's going to go. Did y'all like that? I mean, I know we've talked about school in the past, but did you like going back to school first day back? Or was it? I think I liked it. Yeah. I think I liked it. Even if I said I didn't.

And there were parts I didn't like. But yeah, I think overall. Because you had new shoes? No, I never had new shoes. But that's where all my friends were. Yeah. But you guys. I think I liked it to some degree.

But I had a lot of fun in the summertime. But I don't know. It's hard to say. I didn't like getting up. Yeah. be somewhere all day. That's true. It just depends.

Like, I didn't, you know, it's like I didn't have the kind of school where I had the same people in my class every year. Yeah. So you never know what you were going to get. Like some, some years you walk in and you're like, oh, you know, I love this guy, this guy. Oh, I got some hot chicks in here, you know, that's, you know, that would be my terminology back then. But, but, but, but other times you go, ah, this is going to be a rough year.

Yeah. Scan that room that first day Yeah How do I get out of this class What do you guys think of this shirt? It's nice This is I bought this for the cruise

Okay And I had never worn it And I took it And I did not know It's my first ever cruise You can't have an iron On a cruise ship Really

That's what I learned on the cruise And it was very wrinkled So I guess it's a safety hazard It's a safety hazard anywhere. They let me have a tea kettle. I don't think they did. I think you smuggled that on. They let me bring my gun.

Well, anyway, yeah, that's what they said. Yeah, it's a sharp looking shirt. It looks like a cruise shirt. What took you so long to wear it since the cruise, though? I mean, I've worn it a couple times. It's not on the podcast. I did a show a few weeks ago with the company off Broadway in Lexington, and a woman came up after the show. She was wearing

the Nate Land at Sea. shirt and she's like yeah and I said oh how about that I said you got that at goodwill I said did we meet on the cruise and she goes probably that was so funny that it meant more to me than her apparently I don't know dude I met a lot of people I was drunk the whole time if we did cross pass I apologize that is pretty funny I probably said some things I'm not proud probably I don't know yeah a good chance I don't know I got to to the show. I do want to mention that August 23rd, 24, 25th,

Nateland presents the showcase season five. We're each hosting a different night. 15 comedians from across the country. I'm going to do a little math there. I think that's about five a night. Yeah, that's good. That's it. Assuming they're the same amount every show, that's good math.

I would assume, but who knows, Adrian may throw a curveball. We may have eight one night. Dusty's going to do some extra time. So we may only have. to his night. Who knows? That's what we should do.

It's filmed here at the Lab at Zanis here in Nashville, 23rd, 24, 25th. So get the tickets before they're gone. And you're let loose is this Wednesday, I believe. Oh, it is. Yeah, you're right about that. It'll be tonight. Yeah. As we're recording.

Well, as this comes out. And it's been hot. I mean, it's been a hot show. Last week was so fun. So. I want to try to come down. Check it out. It was so fun.

Okay. All right. I mean, you guys haven't been there, so you guys can't back it up. I'm there tonight. But it is. I'm doing it tonight. Are you? Yeah.

Oh, you're already on it. Yeah. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. We're trying to have a good time. Well, I know. He said, yeah, and then he quickly moved on.

We're trying to have a nice day. All right. I won't come. Maybe I'll come. Hey. Yeah, I don't know. We'll see. Maybe.

No, do come. Listen. I'm kidding, obviously. There's three people in on this, on the booking and on the thing. Look, I'm not asking to be on it. I just wanted to come support my friend. Now you're making it weird. It's getting weird. There's a lot of hands on the pie. Yeah, I didn't know Aaron was on the show.

Are you upset about it? No, I'm glad you're there. Okay. Who's on your grand old company show? Aaron is on that one. Yeah. Okay, well, I see a trend here. But I did know.

Well, it's Aaron's week, you know. It's the week of Aaron. Yeah. It's like Shark Week. Yeah. Also, Will O'Donnell and Stephen Bass. All right. Yeah, it's a good show. From Auburn?

Yeah, it's a good show. The guy who's the fan of our podcast? You're just booking on shows now? Yeah. And I can't get on it. Okay. He did some roofing work for my mom. And I go.

You don't know how to get booked. Come to a show. I'm sorry, I asked. Anyone out there does washing machine repair and you're trying to get booked. Need some rocks moved. He'll give you a tight. You know what? I fixed my dishwasher today. Oh, wow. That's a good feeling, isn't it? Yeah, last week, I thought I fixed it before I left, and then it didn't get fixed. So we tried to find a repair man, and they couldn't come until Tuesday. Today I got in there and started messing around with it. Figured it out. It's back. That's great. I just wanted you guys to know. My dishwasher was out for a while. And I found this book that my grandfather wrote. My grandfather wrote this book of stories about him as a church.

to give to his grandkids and great grandkids. Wow. And there's a chapter in it where he talks about he grew up without a dishwasher. And he says, thank God I never owned a dishwasher because of all the great memories and conversations he had with his mom doing dishes together after dinner. He's like, thank God I never had a dishwasher. And I was like, oh, man, what a cool sentiment. Yeah.

But I got a fix pretty quick. Yeah. Two dishes stinks. Yeah, that's not, it's not going to be a great conversation with my family. We're not going to be, we're going to be, we're going to be like, hey, quit throwing the dishes. You just broke another glass. What are you doing? You guys want to get in these comments?

Let's do it. Let's start it off. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast reviews, and mail at natelandpodcast.com. First comment comes from Karen Nazerinas. You like that name, that you? Yeah. Kind of like Nazarene. Yeah.

Nazarene and Venus. Oh, you're right. Yeah. Suddenly, I understand what Dusty was saying about Moneyball and Brad Pitt. Hatless Slay kept pulling me out of the pod. Had to turn the video off and just listen. That's what I'm talking about, Karen. Gross.

Karen gets it. Listen, that's why I wear this hat. I got to keep it silly out here. Keep the ladies at bay. Yeah. Yeah. Your wife asked you to do it. I got to keep my head covered.

Like a lady. Yeah. He's so old school. Yeah, he covers his head. Thank you, Karen. I read today where Brad Pitt went back to drinking. Yeah. Took seven years off and he's like, let's get back to it.

Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be bread pit pretty soon. Yeah. Well, you know, he owns a vineyard, I think. So it's probably tough for him. Mm-hmm. Rusty green.

I have an answer for Aaron asking about how people woke up before alarm clocks. In areas where people worked in factories and they had to be at work on time, they used to have people knock on doors and windows with sticks and hammers called knocker uppers. Wow. You know, right after I said that, I remember, I think years ago we talked about this. That does seem a little familiar. That people would do that. But I mean just a guy, like so you have to wake up at an odd hour.

How do you, I guess you can pay a knocker upper to come hit a stick on. your window at whatever time you pay him to. Who wakes the knocker upper, though? That's another thing. Yeah. That's another issue. Well, they got to rotate another knocker upper. Yeah, knock her upper wakes up the knocker uppers.

He's like just getting knocked up all day. Hey, my wife's asleep. You go over there and send a knocker up her upper over there to get her up. Some guy misunderstands. Yeah. Laura Hutchinson, Dusty, you're funny, but please let Brian finish the sentence without being interrupted. Thank you, Laura. I feel like... Thank you, Laura. I'm going to start putting all these in. I feel like I've, you know, I've already cut him off so many times by the time we got to that comment today.

Laura's probably not even listening anymore. Well, I'll tell you what, though, Laura, you wouldn't know that I was funny if I didn't cut Brian off sometimes. Yeah, you're doing it for the rest of the people. Let him talk the whole podcast. You're just doing a service, right? Laura. Well, thank you, Laura. If Dusty somehow manages to buy his childhood trailer, it might be cool to put it at the new Nateland theme park when it opens up. It could be a building you have to walk through before you get to the Dusty Slay ride. Oh, yeah. I love that.

Yeah, I mean, I'm into it. Let's do it. I mean. I thought it'd be fun to put it on top of Zanis, like a billboard. Yeah, I like that too. You know? That's the new condo. It's just your old childhood trailer.

Yeah, a new comedy guy. That could be fun. Yeah. Put it in the parking lot here. That's what I was thinking. Get rid of some more parking. Yeah. And when you were smoking, you guys can just go inside.

Like the old days. Yeah. Yeah. You know, sometimes you'll drive through downtown of some area. Like, billboards will have a car up there. They put like a full car on the billboard or on top of a built. And I think just throw the trailer up there. Yeah.

So it can be seen from the interstate. What's going on over there? Yeah. I like that. It's dusty sleighs trailer. I like that. If you buy it, where will you put it? Well, you know, I got some, my dad has some land in Lafette, and he has a couple of trailers on it already.

So, you know, I might be, you know, I have some land next to my dad. So I might be able to just move it there. But I don't know if my dad wants, well, it doesn't matter. It's my land. But I don't know if my dad wants, you know, my mom's old trailer on his land. I bring back, yeah. It's tough. All right.

Keep us posted. But we'll do it, though. I will keep you posted. Yeah. You know that. Yeah. J.C. Harrell 715. To Carol.

There's a distinct difference between jelly and jam. Jam spreads easily on bread without ripping the bread or clumping up. Jelly turns into a clustered mess on anything when you try to spread it. And you're left with a shredded pile of inedible breadcrumbs. My opinion, jelly should not even exist. You know, sometimes we read these kinds of. comments, and I'm like, what did we talk about last week? How could that possibly be relevant to anything we talked about? I believe that it is, but I like jam, but honestly, I think

jelly is easier to spread. Yeah. I like jam better, but also, have a little self-respect. It's all pretty easy. Yeah. I'm going to disagree. I can't handle this jelly out here, man. I'm going to disagree. I'm taking J.C. Harrell's 715's side. Jelly is pretty hard. Just like he said, you want a piece of bread. You think it shouldn't exist, though? I mean, I wouldn't go that far, but I don't think it's easy to spread.

Jelly, it feels like the easy... I think they should have their own water fountains. Go ahead, Dustin. Because jam has little pieces of fruit in it. Yeah. And jelly is just a... Get jammed up. Yeah.

Jelly is just a kind of bit of a jelly. like substance. I'm getting into PB&Js lately. Are you? Yeah, I'm back in, man. I took about a decade off. Yeah. Now I'm back in pretty hard. Yeah. Uncrustibles, man. Oh. Oh, you're just buying, you're not making your own peanut. You're buying. You're really into it. If I got the stuff around, I'll throw one together. But it's nice to pull one out of the freezer. Let it thaw a little bit. I still want a little bit of a crunch on the peanut butter. Yeah. It might be the best snack ever made. I think you have to do this. You have to get some bread.

Nah. And then do honey and peanut butter. Or I dip an uncrustable in honey. Okay. Yeah. No, I would never do that. Make your own bread. Well, I got to get into that.

I am going to get into making bread. Get some bees. Get your own honey. But yeah. But you can buy local honey. Yeah. Last week on our breakfast episode, we talked about the difference between we're ass, jelly, jam, and preserves. Oh, we did breakfast last week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That feels like a lifetime ago, man. What's been going on this past week? I don't know. Thank you, Jekarrel. Princess Summerlin. All right. You should drink room temperature water an hour before you have coffee or eat.

It's supposed to be better for your digestion. Well, I appreciate that. Princess Summerland, big supporter. She watches my podcast as well as this one. But I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know that I'm usually awake an hour before having. coffee. Yeah.

If coffee's ready when I get up, my wife gets up before me and it's ready, I drink it right away. What you do, here's what you do. Wake up at five, drink room temp water. Yeah. Hire a knocker up her up, go back to bed. Wake up an hour later and have your coffee. Yeah.

That's how you got to do it. Well, maybe just the eating part then. I'll say this about coffee. I've never drank coffee and then worried about my digestion. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I... It's getting the job done.

Sometimes I, you know, I start the day with some fruit. You have like a little piece of hundred. honeydew melon or cantalope, get a little food, but also water. I remember reading years ago that eating an apple has the same wake-up effect as a cup of coffee. Never looked into it. Not sure if it's true, but I've thought about it for years. I've heard that too. 5,000 doctors endorsed it. I don't think coffee, I don't think an apple, I like an apple.

I don't enjoy it like I do coffee. I had four cups of coffee today. They're a bit smaller. I mean, it's 9 a.m. You've had four, you know. But not one apple. What time of day do you drink the four cups? Well, I got up at, you know, 7.30.

Yeah. And they're smaller cups than these. And I probably had, you know, two within the first hour. And then later, Hannah, my wife goes, you think about some more coffee. I go, I could do it. And she made another pot and we did it again. You said, give me an hour. I'm going to drink some room temperature water.

Yeah. And then I'll be ready to. I only drink room temp water, except it when I'm here. They'll put a little ice in this cup. But normally I'm a room temp guy. Yeah. Have you seen the videos people are doing on TikTok? They really make me laugh.

It's a guy will ask his wife, hey, you want to go get like a treat, ice cream or something? She's like, yeah. And they get in the car and they get in the drive-thru. And she orders. And then he goes, nothing for me, thanks. though I think it's so bad. Oh, it's so funny.

Lucy would be furious if I did that. I don't think Lucy's worried about that one. Yeah, that's true. Jeff Goodell. Goodell. The best bug repellant is a good, strong cigar. Beats any spray or fake fly. Well, I agree with that.

I mean, you know, when I'm sitting on my back porch, I got a few gaps in my screened in porch where I think mosquitoes are getting in. But when I'm smoking, they do not mess with me. That's true, but it's tough to just always have a cigar on you. You know, at the pool with your kids, just like in the shallow, I'm trying to take it back old school. You remember when back in the day, like we talk about like, well, when I was a kid, people were smoking around me all the time.

I'm trying to do that. Oh, that's good. I'm sure other people like that, too. Because I'm just like, we got to bring it back. We've got to toughen up as a society out here. We're getting weak. Yeah. Are you still considering running for mayor of a small town?

Some town, yeah. You don't even care where. Well, I don't know yet. I've not settled on which one. So it's not about specific issues. I just want to have some power somewhere. Each of the three cities that I'm considering all have things that I, you know, I care about them all. So I would...

I know the three cities. Yeah. Opelica, McMindville, Nashville. No, not Nashville. Old Hickery? Maybe my dad's town of Lafette. Lafette. Oh, okay.

You can move that trailer in because you're the mayor. Well, yeah, I mean, I could, yeah. Stephen Bass can be your commander-in-chief. He could be, yeah. I guess that is the mayor, though, is it? Well, you know, I don't know all the positions, but... Vice mayor. City manager, vice mayor.

There's, you know, I think, you know, I think all these people, places are doing well. But, you know, if I ever wanted to run for a mayor one day, and I may, you know. I think you will. Yeah. I hope you don't do it. I just, you know, maybe I'll do comedy here and there, but I'll be a mayor. You got to release your country album, somewhere in there. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You just want to have a lot of hats. You know what I mean? You have a lot of hats. Yeah, you don't want to just be a one-trick pony your whole life. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. I just love to have one trick.

Mark Bennett. Aaron says, I'm not growing any fruit. Then immediately list the fruits he plans on growing. I'm expecting a bit of a learning curve. What are we talking about there? You see you were starting a garden. Yeah. And then I thought he said vegetables.

Oh, we're doing, I guess tomatoes of fruit is a cucumber of fruit too? I think so. Then what are we? But we all know it's not. I've said before. Do you know what I mean? Vegetables don't exist. It is a, it's a human construct, right?

It's a social construct. Edible vegetation. Yes. So it's not really, the vegetable really doesn't exist. These gardening people, I already am annoyed with the community that I'm joining. I just want to grow some cucumbers and some tomatoes. And they go, I got a fruit garden out there, don't you? And you go, come on.

You know what I'm talking about. You think you? Actually, and actually, it's a lagoon. It's like, shut up, dude. I'm growing. They count as vegetables for my daughter's nutrition plan. So I'm calling them vegetables. All right?

Yeah. Anything new there with the garden? I'm waiting on the beds. I order the beds. I got everything coming. It's going to be nice. Yeah, you've got to come over and see it once it's set up. Now, is it too late to start this season?

There's still some stuff that we can grow for the fall. You can go fall garden. Yeah, and get some fall stuff going. Okay. All right. I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know either. I'm new to this. Yeah.

You know, thanks. But thanks, Mark. Bennett. Well, I put it in, so thank me. But yeah, there is a bit of a... There's going to be a big learning curve, but I think that's part of the fun. You see what works and what doesn't. And then, you know, six months later, I forget about the garden in my backyard and do nothing with it.

But it's going to be fun for a few months. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I think you'll really get into it. Okay. I like it. Yeah. It's a good feeling when you...

Like dopamine hit. It's a better dopamine hit than social media and stuff like that. You go out and you go, it takes longer. You go out and you go, whoa, there's a cucumber. It worked. Yeah, it's crazy that it works. It feels good. Yeah, that's fun.

And then when it doesn't work, you go, ah, who cares? I just go to the grocery store. You're not actually relying on it. Yeah. Yeah. Libby Bowerman. Do y'all eat Brenner, breakfast for dinner? That's one of our favorites.

You know, my friend Vince Fabra has a great Brenner joke, but no, I don't. I do eat cereal anytime I possibly can. But I love to hear that joke from Vince, I guess, at some point. You're not going to do it? I don't know if I'll do his joke. Okay. But just keep an eye out for it. Yeah.

You see Vince Fabra out there go do the Brenner joke. You're more likely to see it when he opens for me because he just has more time. Yeah, I don't give him a lot of time. I go, and I also go, don't do the Brenner thing. Yeah, I got a lupper bit I'm working on. Don't step on my lupor, Joe. You didn't lose that client because of bad luck.

Really? You lost them because nobody picked up. They called and it rang out. And 30 seconds later, they were. talking to your competitor. Every unanswered call is money walking out the door. Bye. At some point, you have to stop leaving money on the table and use Quo.

Quo. Today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q-U-O. The business phone system built so you never miss a call. All your calls, texts and voicemails live in one place so you, Anyone on your team can pick up a conversation, see the full history, and respond fast. Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2, trusted by over 90,000 businesses who rely on it to stay reachable and look professional every day. Plus, you can set it up in minutes on any device.

Keep your existing number and add teammates as you grow. No IT, no hassle. Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for free. Plus, get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com slash Nateland. That's QUO.com slash Nateland. You ever do breakfast for dinner? Yeah. Yeah, of course. I think everybody does. That's great. Waffle house after a show. Some of my favorite things. After a long weekend, it's fun. You don't like it, but it's good.

Now, and I'm not really into it, but I might do, well, I guess it'd be brunch, but I might do breakfast for lunch. Yeah, brunch. I was thinking lunch, but because it would be more for lunch. I guess the time doesn't really matter that much. I think if brunch is like late, breakfast late morning i mean yes so if he ate at one o'clock couldn't i just be lunch that's lunch

yeah but if you're eating breakfast is what i'm saying yeah yeah i don't think it's about what you're having i think it's the time it's lexfast left fest exactly yeah um do you ever if we have leftovers in the morning from something that before yeah of course what you're talking about the other day when I left early for Alabama, I was in the car at 5 a.m. eating coffee and sushi at the same time. Drinking coffee, eating sushi. In the morning? Yeah. And then I had a cigar in the car about 7 a.m. When you wake up, your body's like, we're going. Yeah. Yeah. There's no easing into the day. Sushi and a cigar before lunch. Yeah, sushi. There's some foods I think Lento eating in the morning better than others.

If you have an early flight, let's say a 6 a.m. flight, do you get a drink on the plane? What do you get on the plane? If I haven't had coffee, I'll get a coffee. Yeah. But I usually just get water. You know, sometimes I'm like, is it crazy to get a Diet Coke right now at 6 a.m.? Then I go, who cares?

Nobody's watching. I might as well have one. Just drink a couple of vodka's. No, no, nothing. Too early for a diet. People will do that. see people on the plane get, you know, let me get a, Bloody Mary is understandable, I guess.

Yeah, I mean, people do get loaded on the plane. I'm like, it's, I'm like, it's 8 a.m. You know, I have anxiety. I never told you the Henry Cho story, but when we went to Vegas, there was, you know, we had an early flight to Vegas, and there was a, two couples, I think, and they were just having the best time already just getting lit. on this 9 a.m. flight to Vegas and Henry complained to the flight attendants like, hey, can you shut them up? You know, it's getting whatever. And then they went up there and

said something to them. And then Henry, like, that would rock my world if I even, you know, Henry had his sunglasses on, on the plane, his hat, and immediately went to sleep. I'm in the middle seat next to him. And they just keep turning around looking at me, angry. So the whole flight from Nashville to Vegas, I'm just sitting there like that. Henry's sleeping like a baby. But you look like the guy who would do that. So I don't blame them for assuming it was here. I think they were just looking back and I'm the only guy that's making eye contact. And you're trying to avoid eye contact probably.

It probably looks very obvious. Yeah. I love Henry for that. I bet a lot of people on the plane were happy that he did that. Yeah. Because when people are loud early on a flight, you're like, come on, dude. Or any time of the day. But it's way better at 3 p.m. than 6.8.

This is what I think. When you get on the plane, you're allowed to do whatever. until the plane starts moving. When the plane starts moving, everybody has to be quiet. That's what I think. The people who just keep having a conversation, the whole flight,

go, what are you doing business? Take it. Take it. Yeah. I close a deal on the Southwest flight. Take it easy, you know? Yeah, I have been on flights where people beside me get to know each other,

and I'm like, gosh, this is going to be the whole time? And then as soon as it takes off, they very often get quiet. Yeah, I am. But isn't a part of you going that's very sweet and nice that that's happening? Yeah, there's... I'm not going to participate, but isn't that nice? There's a part of me that says I should be more sociable.

Yeah. And I don't want to. Yeah. So it's really, I'm just mad at myself. This is what I always think. I always think. Look what they got themselves in. Now they've got to do this the whole flight.

They're both trapped. Yeah, I know. Robin Gobble. Hey, man. That's tough. That's a tough name. Yeah, your first name's a bird, and you're robin gobble. Do the robin gobble.

That sounds like a dance. Her brother, Turkey, had a tough life, I'm sure. That's crazy. A continental breakfast is mostly pastries and maybe a little fruit. If a hotel says it's a continental breakfast, don't expect your powdered eggs and bacon. All right, Robin. Well, I think that's what I said last week, so thank you, Rob. I think there was some confusion in what we were talking about.

I do too. Oh, you guys are backtracking big time. No, I understand there's a thing as a complimentary breakfast. I thought you were claiming there's no such thing as a continental breakfast. It's called a complimentary breakfast. I think that's where the disconnect was. I'm just saying it feels like they used to always call it continental breakfast, no matter what it was, and nobody was saying complimentary.

I think overall people didn't know what continental meant, so people started switching it to complimentary. Yeah. Okay. So we were having three different conversations. The next step is to just call it free. Okay. Yeah.

Free breakfast. Yeah. That's so much easier. If you stay here. You got a free continental breakfast. I've seen videos where people go into hotels and just eat breakfast for free. Yeah. I think they should go to jail.

I think about doing that a lot. When you walk at a hotel, nobody's checking that I'm a... I know, but it's stealing. From whom? From the Hampton? Yeah, but you're not stealing from Hampton. From Hampton, you're stealing from the individual hotel owner. The gobble family, apparently.

Yeah, the Robin Gobbles. I like that name. It sounds like a fun dance. Yeah, yeah. The Robin Gobble. It's like Spring is here, and you gobbling. Because they say when you see a Robin Springs on this way. Oh, I've never heard that.

Yeah. In like a lion out like a lamb. Don't they say that? I don't know, maybe You've never heard that? In like a lion, out like a lamb? Is that about a particular month? That sounds like you came in all big and you got shamed.

I think that's what they're talking about. In like a lion. Maybe April? Out like a lamb. May? It's a proverb. It means the month of March. Starts with cold, stormy winter weather

and ends with warm, gentle spring weather. A lamb. Isn't that nice? Yeah. But when you see a Robin, I think springs on its way. When does fall on us? It's beautiful.

The turkeys are out. Robin gobbles covering the whole... Covering the whole summer. It's either Robin or it's gobble. Yeah. Robin Gobble. Rock and Robin. That's it. Rob a gobble. Rob a gobble.

Tweet. Tweet. Robin gobble. You know what I mean? You ever eat a red robin? Yeah. Come on. I don't think...

I just want to be nice. not make it obvious. Bottomless fry. I mean, I haven't eaten there probably since I was 20, but I had a good time. Yeah. Okay. It does feel like an outdated restaurant that I'm surprised still exist. Red Robin.

Red Robin. Fazzoli's. It almost feels like a Johnny Rockets, that type of place. It's like an old school. Oh, there is one of those in the mall. Yeah. Opry Mills. Yeah.

Johnny Rockets. Every time I feel so bad for people that work there because I just go. It just seems like such an outdated place. Yeah. Aren't they? Yeah. But you have to dress like you're in the outsiders. Yeah.

I mean, I'm not. It's supposed to be 50 styles. Yeah. It's not. They realize they're outdated. Hey, I'm pony boy. I'll be your server this evening. And you're like, come on, dude.

But I don't think anybody is like, I really want to work at Johnny Rock. It's not. anymore. There probably was a time when they did. But they're just like, I need a job. But that restaurant has been there as long as I can remember the mall being open. So apparently they're staying in business. Yeah.

Started at Jimmy Johns, worked up to Johnny Rockets. Yeah. Soon you'll be at Robin Gobbles. Robin Gobble. Charlie Bravo Nova. Oh. Moses walking on holy ground and dusty grounding behind Dollar General might be the funniest Bible.

related joke I've heard on this podcast. Well, that's why I put it in here because I said it. Very good. We probably didn't give it what it deserved. Correctamundo. So let's circle back with a comment, talk about how great Brian is for a few minutes. And if I had let him talk, it probably would have been better. Yeah, I think you stepped on it.

I cut him off. Just insulting me. I'm not grounding in grass. I'm somehow behind the Dollar General. Richard Stevens Stevens Yeah Okay

Right His actual name is Stevens But he's got a bit of an alias going on Richard Stevens And we spent so much time on Robin Gobble When we had this the whole time Well all these names are pretty great Sometimes I've noticed that maybe

Something I've noticed that maybe could use some explanation Aaron talks directly to the camera 75% of the time Even if he's talking to either Dusty or Brian, Dusty and Brian hardly ever look at the cameras. Just something I've noticed. It's a bit disconcerting to me in this type of format. Interesting.

I think here's what's going on. I'm in the middle. Yeah. I mean, exactly. And I think that's it. Yeah, it's like it's weird for you to turn to us. But it would be weird for me to go, you know what I'm talking about Brian?

What's this guy up to? I don't know, Dusty. He eats at every restaurant. What's he doing? But I think also what's happening is right above and behind the camera is a television where my laptop is being shown. So anytime we're looking up there, it might look like we're looking at the camera. The only time I really look at the camera is when I'm plugging my dates. This is Aaron Weber, by the way.

I never know what he's talking about, Brian. Neither. I don't even know what he looks like. All right. This week. Yes, Steve. This week. It's just part of my schick. We are talking about the solar system.

All right. It's what I've been waiting for. I'm very excited about this. Now, we know Dusty stand on space, but he's agreed to be cool. Yeah. He's going to be cool for the episode. His words, by the way. Yep.

Yes, words. Now, Dusty. Well, I think that you didn't want to do it because you're worried that I would just make jokes. There's some concern about that. No, I'd love jokes. But Dusty, how about this? Yes. Or Aaron.

Thanks. Thanks for including me. It's directed at Dusty. Aaron, feel free to jump in. Yeah, go ahead. In baseball, football, managers get a couple of challenges, right?

What is it in baseball? You get two? I don't know exactly. Let's do, we do NFL. All right, you get two. You get two,

and then if you get it right, you get a third? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You get to do it. Yeah. Actually, I don't know. Okay. Dusty. I'm sorry, include you. So you get two challenges. You got to be strategic about it. So you can't just be jumping in the first one and say, well, that's not true. I'm just looking forward to learning something. Okay. I learned some stuff. Here's the thing. I mentioned, uh, oh, I forgot this is new. I learned, uh, I mentioned last week how. there's some stuff I knew as a kid that I no longer know because I forgot. Right.

In preparing for this, that's how I felt. I'm like, oh, yeah, I used to know this as a kid. It brought a lot of it back. But brought it back. It's kind of like a little bit. What grade do you think would be solar system? Third grade science? Third grade, fourth grade science?

Yeah. I would think first grade. I would think they try to get it in as soon as they can so that you never question it. Uh-huh. See, that's a judgment call already. no we'll let us all right we're going to let that slide that was delicate that was delicate he's good at he's very good

he's the best really they try to get it in no I mean I was interested in space I think a lot of kids were even younger than that yeah yeah we took a field trip to space camp in fourth grade okay so I remember fourth grade's the first time I remember in Huntsville

it being yeah it being covered in science classes okay do you know what constitutes the solar system. How are you to define what is the solar system? What's not the solar system? It's the things that are in orbit of a star. Yes. In our case, the sun.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Our sun is a star. Yeah. It's things in orbit, the sun's gravity. So that's how you determine when it stops, if it's no longer in the sun's. That's why Pluto keeps getting out. Pluto checks out. sometimes. Pluto goes, I'm going to follow a different star for a while. Not a different star, but you're not completely wrong.

I'm not big enough anymore. I'm basically a moon now. You're not totally wrong. I can't find it right now. But yeah, there's some certain things to qualify what's a planet and what's not. I think they say there's a shape on Pluto that looks like Pluto the dog from Disney. well Pluto the dog is named after the yeah look at that the former planet well how about that

that's crazy yeah I don't know if I would have put that together if they wouldn't have circled that with a red circle I don't know if I would have picked that I think they could have said that's anything and I would have said yeah it does look like that yeah it could look like a goat with horns

yeah could yeah yeah yeah Now, do a little basic quiz here. Dusty, do you know how many planets are in our solar system? Well, there's nine, but sometimes they're like Pluto's not one of them. So eight. So eight, yeah. That's right. Yeah. Do you, how many could you name and bonus points if you can name them in order from the sun? I think it would be. Do you remember the saying? Yeah, I got it here. My very educated mother just showed us nine planets. Oh, no, I don't remember. remember that.

Yeah. Okay. I think it'll be Mercury, Earth. No. My very educated. Oh, Mercury Venus, Earth. Red, it's red. Here's what I have, yes.

Saturn. Do you missed a just show. My very educated mother, just. Uranus, Jupiter. I'm a name, just name in the planet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

How many have a... Neptune. You miss a Neptune? Yeah, that's one. Yeah. So I had my very educated mother just served us noodles. But what was yours? Just showed us nine planets.

But when they got rid of Pluto, I guess they had to change up to saying in a little bit. Just served us noodles. She's really that educated. It's got a whole different tone. I don't know why it matters. She was educated. Yeah, she's so educated. For Pluto.

She's serving you noodles. What kind of education is. For Pluto, I have my very educated mother just served us nine pizzas. Oh, okay. I don't know why How many of you were there? Nine pizzas. Goodness.

When you were in school, it was my very elegant mother just sat upon pins and needles. Needles and pins. Oh, okay. Wow. Doesn't sound very elegant. She's just sitting on stuff. Acupuncture, I guess. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. The term solar system entered the English language, 1704, when John Locke used it to refer to the sun, planets and comets. All right. How about that? So the solar system is the eight planets, hundreds of moons, dwarf planets, asteroids, and comets. It's in the Milky Way galaxy. That's right, yeah.

And I've never heard this, but it's in a part of the Milky Way galaxy called Orion Arm. You know, it's got that spinning, what, like a pinwheel. Yeah. And it's a certain place in the galaxy where it's at. Now, I looked up how it was formed, and Dusty used to have a joke about asking someone what time it is. And I think you'd say, look, if you don't know, just say you don't know. When I look up how they explain the solar system to form, that's kind of what I thought. You thought, they don't know.

Yeah, I did think that. Yeah. I did think that. So 90%, if you took away the sun, 90% of the mass in the solar system would be, Jupiter and Saturn. Yeah. Because they're so much bigger than the rest. But if you add the sun,

99.8% of the solar system is the sun. Wow, that's crazy. It's that much bigger. Yeah. That much more dense. Yeah. It's wild that it's that big, but so far away

that it's the exact size as the moon when we see it. That's pretty crazy. Yeah, yeah. The sun and the moon? Yeah, they're like the same size. Are they? Well, to our perspective.

I never even thought about it. I guess because the sun's so bright, I can't really look at it that close. But I guess you're right. That's how the full eclipse happens because it's basically the same size. Sometimes the other night I saw the moon. Huge. Huge. Well, there you go.

So it's not always the same size. But basically, sometimes the sun's pretty big too. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So they're split up. To be clear, the things aren't changing in size. The moon isn't getting bigger and then getting smaller.

Is it the distance between the two? I mean, do you think that the sun is getting bigger and smaller? That it's fluctuating? No, I don't. It's throbbing? Yeah, it's not. I'm asking the question, what is it then? I don't know.

But I want to make it very clear that we don't think the moon and sun are fluctuating in size. You've heard me talk about BetterHelp for a long time, but I don't know that we've ever actually talked about how much people love this service when they use it. You can check it out yourself at betterhelp.com into them. Please visit betterhelp.com slash reviews to see for yourself. BetterHelp is an average live therapy session rating a 4.9 out of five based on over

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See the reviews, see what stands out, and see if BetterHelp is right for you, visit BetterHelp.com slash public figures. That's betterh-E-L-P dot com slash public figures. All right. All right. So the planets are split up into two different types. There's the first four, Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars are Rocky planets. They had a lot of rocks on it?

Yeah, they got a solid surface. Yeah, they're not gas. You could land on them. Be hot, though, on some of those others, though. Some of them, oh, yeah, well, like Mercury and Venus. The other ones are gas giants. Yeah. The outer ones, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune.

two are gas giants and two are ice giants. What's that mean? What's a gas giant? It's gas. There's not a solid surface to it. It's just gas. You couldn't land on it. No.

No, there's nothing to land on. What makes it a planet then? It's an interesting question. I don't know. It's a round ball that's big and it orbits our sun. It's a thing. How is it? There is a definition, but I can't remember.

I never heard this. But if it's just gas, how does it? even stay together. I've often wondered that. Well, it stays together something that I think is going to come up a few times in this episode. Gravity. Yeah, but what's it gravity

too? Boom. Just as just like this. But if there's no planet, it's just gas. Well, gas has mass. It's not just like colors. But it, but it's, so it

is a physical thing that's being held together with grab. But it's just a, but so gas, like I'm just trying to understand, like with the explanation of gravity on Earth. Yes. Is that we have this solid thing. Not necessarily solid mass. It has mass. Okay. Yeah. But it's, it's, we can walk on it, Earth. We can walk on the crust of Earth. Yeah. And then so that is where the gravity. But it's not solid in the middle of the earth. It's, it's like lava and gas and heat and fire and all that kind of stuff. I'm just trying to under...

I'm just trying to understand if there's nothing. There's not nothing. But like it can't be like there's gas, but the gas is held together by gravity. Hey, here's the thing. Here's the thing. It is that. But it doesn't make any sense, though. I never heard this before. So this is news to me.

But I'm just saying, So I'm not trying to be contrarian. No, no, no, no. Because I don't fully understand it either. I never heard this. I admit it's hard to get your head around. So if there's like, like, there's only gas. Yeah.

And then, like, what's the gravitational pull? It's gaseous layers transition into dense liquid and metallic hydrogen under high pressure. That's what it is. So there's not going to be. It doesn't seem like a planet at all then. Well, I would like to. Do you have a definition of a planet? What constitutes a planet?

I can't find it right now. Could you just help me out here? All right. So there is a... Planet is a large object in space that spins around the star. Okay. So that definition is not real helpful. Yeah.

Like why would Pluto not be a planet if that's the... We'll dig into this a little bit. Keep going. I don't think Pluto stays on the same trajectory. all the time. I think that's why they... That checks out sometimes. Yeah.

And I think it has to... A planet has to be round. I think they said that. Pluto's not round? I think it's got some lumps. Okay. I would think that you would have to be round to spin...

Well, the Earth's not perfectly round either. Well, that's true. Yeah, it's a little bit... It's a little bit... It's almost... Neil de Grass Tyson says, shaped like a pear. A little bit like a pair, yeah.

A little bigger at the bottom than it is at the top. Not that pronounced, but yeah, yeah, it's not a perfectly spherical. That is what he says, though. Yeah, I'm saying, but it's not like that. That's a good illustration of the shape, but it's not like a perfect pear shape. Yeah. So Earth and Mars are the only planets that orbit within the sun's habitable zone,

meaning under the right conditions you could have liquid water. Well, obviously, we do have liquid water here. But even Mars, if the atmosphere was different, could have liquid water. What do you think is going on on Mars? Well, I mean, we see pictures. There's a couple rovers up there. Not a lot. But they have volcanoes.

They have windstorms. Largest volcano volcano in the solar system, right? I think so. Or the largest mountain. I don't know if it's a volcano for sure. They have little mini tornadoes, I think, a lot. Oh, cool. on Mars?

Sounds like a fun spot. Yeah, this is Olympus Mons on Mars, the largest known volcano and tallest mountain in the solar system. It is about 2.5 times the height of Mount Everest. Spans 373 miles across,

which is basically the entire state of Arizona. That's how big it is. There's some people in this country waiting to die trying to climb that thing. Be cool. to be the first person to climb that one. If you guys could go to Mars, I know you wouldn't choose to, but let's say you had to.

And it's about a eight month, depending on the distance, about an eight month trip. Would you choose to stay awake or just say put me out and wake me up when I get there? Eight months, I'll stay awake, yeah. But that means you're going to have to be working out to keep muscle mass. Knock me out then. Could I smoke? Could I smoke on the ship? I don't think you could smoke cigars.

If I can smoke, stay awake. You can take all your DVDs. You can have TikTok, YouTube videos. You can have the internet. I don't think you could smoke. So smoking is strictly prohibited on all space missions because of the extreme risk of fire in enclosed oxygen-rich environments. So you would light up first day.

Slip. You just blow up the whole thing with the cigar. say let's get the ships more advanced before I go. Yeah. Let's put a smoking lounge in there. You get some, it gets some. So if you could smoke, you'd say awake. I mean, if space is a vacuum,

we should be able to just suck it right out of there. You know what I mean? Yeah. But eight months by yourself besides internet, if you could smoke, you'd say, yeah, I'll stay awake. Well, it depends on what's going on on the ship. You know what I mean?

Is it fun? Yeah. Is it a bit of a party? Do you like your crew? Oh, you're by yourself. Oh, you're by yourself. It's a three of us going to Mars. Sleep.

Brian and I have to stay up. I think we'd want that too, though. Because in a lot of these movies, if they go to like interstellar space, they're asleep and then they get woken up once they arrive. Right. But that's when the journey is years and years. Eight months is kind of crazy to, I don't know, just knock me in. I mean, it is a long time, though, huh? It depends on the ship.

Again, if it's like a, you know, maybe not cruise ship level, but give me 20, 30 people, mix it up a little bit. Hang it out. Have some food on there, you know, entertainment. Not just tang and stuff like that. Yeah, I'll wake up. I don't know that I believe in the space food. I think they could get some real food up there for these people. I don't believe you got to be eating from a toothpaste tube.

Oh, so I thought you may have it delivered. That's interesting. You're door dash. I didn't get some real food up there. Why do you think they don't, why do you think they would lie about that? Oh, I'm just saying, whether they're lying or not, I think they could do it differently. Oh, they could. They could have real meals.

Some fresh vegetables. They don't have to make these people eating. Yeah. So if you could take, if it was really big, you could take as many people as you want. How many you take it? I think 20 or 30 people would be a fun. Like a party? Yeah.

You and your buddy get naked? Yeah. Shee. I mean, I'm still not drinking. I mean, I don't know. If something goes wrong, we have to exit and go tomorrow's. Mars, you know, I might start drinking. What if it's just you and your wife and kids?

You sleep in or? Oh, he's sleeping. My wife's for sure sleeping. As long as she doesn't have to feed the kids. I think they sleep, I stay awake. Yeah. Be the best eight months of your life. Okay.

All right, there's asteroids, comets, and meteors. Right. They're all somewhat similar. Asteroids are leftover material from the formation of the solar system, rock metal minerals. They're mostly in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. Comets have a cosmic snowball tail, ice dust, rock, and frozen gases. and there are 4,629 known comets in our solar system. You guys know the most famous one?

Haley's come. Yeah, which is Haley's or Haley? It's Haley's coming. I'm probably the only one here that can remember it. Did you see it? Yeah, 1986. Wow. When's the next time it comes?

Comes every 75 to 76 years. You'll get the next one too, man. I might. I looked at them. I'd be old, but 2061. It comes back. 2061. Yeah, we'll see.

And the whole planet season, or you just get lucky, I guess? No, I think the whole planet does. Okay. So it was discovered by Edmund Haley. Well, he calculated its orbit in 1505. But it had been ancient records. Chinese, Babylonians, European had made record of it thousands of years before that.

What did they say about it? Just something's in the sky. Yeah. Something zoom past us. Yeah. They didn't realize. What it is. Yeah, well, it didn't zoom past you.

What do you mean? It like stays. Like, it's a slow moving. How long does it take before you don't see it anymore? I mean, the other one I remember was the Hell Bop Comet, which is in 90s, I think. And I feel like it's like days. What's it called? Wow.

In 2016, you'll see it late June through late August. Yeah, it's not like a zip. You don't even see it moving. Whoa. But you see the tail of it? I think so. Yeah. Wow.

A little bit. That's crazy. I had no idea. I thought it was just a something like that. I remember going out to try to take a picture of it and, you know, the old camera at my mom's like, make sure you put the flash on. See it just at night, by the way, or do you see it during the day? No, just at night. Okay.

But the hellbop comment's the one where that cult, you know, I thought they were going to be riding on it. they all kill themselves. It's funny the way you summarize that whole. They killed themselves because they thought they would wake up on the comet? I think so, yeah. And we don't know that they did. Right you are, Dusty.

The Hail Bop the Hale Bop comet, 1995, it was visible to the naked eye for 18 months shown brighter than every star in the sky, except. serious. Sounds like Hansen could cover this. Hell, bye. 97, that's probably been where they got the idea. Yeah, it's right around that time.

And then a meteor is a flash of light and the night sky. It's not a permanent space object. Okay. It's a small piece of rock or debris. It's a meteoroid. Then a meteor is the streak. And then if it hits Earth, it's a meteorite. Oh, okay. So that's one of the reason I want to talk about this

because there's three astronomical things happening all on this Wednesday, the day this podcast comes out. Really? The first one is, well, I mean,

they're all happening the same day. The precedes meteor shower, perced, you're going to say that. What is it? Presides. Presides. Percieds.

It happens every year, but August 12th and 13th are the best days to observe it. Wow. 50 to 100 meters per hour. You're going to see fast, bright meteors. There'll probably be some Kim trails covering it up. You won't see it.

You do need some clear skies for it to happen. But the best time to view it after midnight and before dawn, around 2 a.m. to 3 a.m. local time. So get your knocker up and go check them out. That's pretty cool. I don't know if I can remember seeing a meteor shower. I, up until I was an adult, I'm embarrassed to say. I actually, when people talk about shooting stars, I thought they were literally suns, stars and another that burn out and shot off.

I did not know that there are just some meteor in our atmosphere. Because stars explode. Yeah, well, I know that now, but I'm embarrassed seeing it when I was. When I was your age, I think I still thought that. I used to have a joke about it. But they said these, it's amazing. They're the size of a grain of sand. Some of them, that small.

To your eyes? No. Some of the actual. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. But the friction when it hits our atmosphere causes the streak. That small can cause it.

Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. I'm looking forward to this. What's the streak look like? Like it's almost like running across water? I think it looks like a shooting star. Okay. You've seen a shooting star.

Star, haven't you? What's a shooting star look like? You've never seen a shooting star? Like a streak of, you've never even seen a depiction of one? Let's see it. Like that, like that kind of. That looks like you're zooming through space. Well, we are, but then those things are zooming.

That's what we're seeing. Well, Dusty, why don't we go out somewhere and watch it? All of us. You want to? At 2 a.m. Busy. I got to get up early on Thursday. You got to let loose that night.

We come to let loose. He'll be on it. I'll come watch and then we'll all go out and watch it happen. I was curious how they know when there's going to be a meteor shower every year. It's because there's a comet called the Swift Tuttle. And we go through its trail this time every year. Wow. It's got a 133-year orbit around the sun.

sun. So that's how we know it because we're kind of going through its trail of debris. It is 16 miles in diameter. It's pretty big. That's crazy. I had no idea. So we're just catching they're all just on the tail of that thing. Yeah. All right. So that's one thing that's happening this Wednesday. Second thing's happening. Let loose. Let loose. Six of the planets are going to be an alignment on Wednesday. And when you say in alignment, what does that mean? Like, if you look to the sky.

No, that'd be funny if they're all like that way. No, it's this way. They're all lined up in the sky. Which ones? Any of the good ones? Here we go. I bet it's going to be cloudy. Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Jupiter.

It happens once every 10,000 years, but for some reason, a lot of contrails tonight. Uranus and Neptune. Maybe we should start calling it Uranus. Yeah. That's how I was taught to say it growing up. But it's not? I think it's, I don't know what's correct and what's not. I think they're just trying to avoid a problem.

Or just another name entirely. Yeah, right. Or just rename it. Yeah. Wasn't Pluto named after the Disney character? No. Is that the way around? No.

Hold on. I'm going to fact check this in a second. My understanding could be completely wrong. I'll admit. I thought they had some kind of open poll where people could name the new planet. And they voted Pluto based on the character. Is that wrong or right? I think it's wrong.

Okay. I think they were like, what planet do you want to name the dog after? And everybody said Uranus. So they go, nah. We didn't think this through. Let's do a do-over. We talk about it all the time. Having a routine is so important, right?

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And use code Nate 50 off to get 50% off and one free breakfast item per box for one year while supplies last until October 31st, 2026. That's Nate 50 off at factor meals.com. Nate 50 off at factor meals.com. see website for more details. This would be so different. Pluto got its name from an 11-year-old British schoolgirl in 1930 named Venetia

Bernie. When they discovered the planet, she suggested the name Pluto because the planet was so dark and cold after the Roman god of the underworld. So not after the Disney character, but it was a little kid that... I'm going to be honest. So my story was 15% correct. I don't believe. the little kid story.

What do you mean? I just don't. I mean, I believe that it was probably named after the Roman god of the underworld, but I don't believe Venetia Bernie was like, let's name it after the Roman god of the underworld. Because she's so dark and cold like the planet is. She might have been into Roman mythology. Is Venetia still alive?

She was 11 in 1930, so I'm betting no. You just click on her name? I guess we could. I guess we could. Yeah, she didn't last long. She died in the war. No, she died 2009 at the age of 90. Okay.

Oh, look, she was one of the first of several people to suggest the name Pluto. Yeah. Yeah. See, they just thought this was a better story. Yeah. I get that. One of her four names, maybe that was her original last name, her maiden name is Douglas. But I thought it was a weird middle name for her to be named.

Oh, Doug. Yeah, I'm Venetia, Catherine, Doug. Okay. Yeah, it doesn't mention a husband. Oh, married named Fair. So Douglass was a middle name before. What do you go by, Venetia, Catherine, or Doug? Call me Douglas.

That was a different time back then, man. Called me, Douglas. I named Pluto, if you don't know. I go by Douglas now. that's crazy all right so there's the meteor shower there's the alignment of the planets and then there's a solar

eclipse on Wednesday is there really yep are we going to see it they're always like you're not gonna solar eclipse you better catch it while you can won't see it again for another hundred years and then they're like we've been on a streak lately

yeah well that's even the planet alignment they said it happens once a decade but then I looked at happened back in February. Yeah, I didn't really. We're a little bit of a role lately. But, all right, this one we will not see.

Part of the United States will see a partial eclipse. People in Greenland, Iceland, Northern Spain, in a small part of Portugal. Let's go there. We'll get... Let's go to Greenland. Yeah. Do a podcast.

See the whole eclipse. You wouldn't go to... You wouldn't go to Paduca to go see it. But you want to go to Greenland? I've been to Paduca. I like it. I've been there. So Northeastern United States,

they're going to experience a partial eclipse. Good for them. Good for them. Yeah. A lot going on. That's where we just were. A week later, you know. A week later, we would have seen it.

Nobody was talking about it? No. All right. There wasn't. There wasn't a buzz of brewing. I didn't yet. I didn't hear a thing. All right, so you know I have a hard time with this word.

Nobody said, too bad you're not in your Wednesday. Look at a partial eclipse. Mercury. Did I get that right? No. Well, how do you say it? Mercury. Mercury.

Yeah, that's very good. I'm going to buy me a mercury and cruise it up and down the road. You know that one? Well, if I had money, I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd go downtown buy a mercury or two. crazy about a mercury. You know that's all? A lot of crazy about a mercury.

I'm gonna buy me a mercury and cruise it up. I think that's even their commercial. Or it wasn't one time. Alan Jackson. Yeah. No, I've never heard that song.

Were you about to say something? I was just gonna, you know how you say cure? Like we're gonna find a cure. Yes. That's how you say it. Mercury. Mercury.

Yeah. Without that big gap in the middle. Well, I'm just starting. Mercury. Yeah. All right. Just sing the song. Every time.

Well, yeah, sing the song every time. Buy me a mercury. Yeah. The girl I love, she didn't stay long. All right. Bought herself a mercury

come a cruiser and home. Something like that. It's the smallest planet our solar system. Lawshy crazy about a mercury. Smallest plan on solar system while experiencing temperature swings from 800 degrees to minus 290. Sounds moody.

Well, I was thinking about this. Like, there's got to be like, sometime during the day, though, right with sunset and you go outside. You're like, dang, it feels good out here. Right? Yeah.

For a split second. I thought that'd be funnier, but no, that's good. Dusty still seeing it. Okay. I'm crazy about a mercury, man. Do you think that's why they named the automobile? The liquid in the old thermometers, mercury,

because mercury changes temperatures so wild, they're like, this. what do you call it? The element is able to go up and down a temperature. No, I think it's a fun coincidence, but I don't think so. Do you think Mercury, the element,

originally came from the planet? Ooh. I like that. Yeah. Like Krypton. Yeah. I don't know. I'm into it, though.

Yeah. One trip around the sun, one year is 88 Earth days. For Mercury? Yeah. Is Venus faster or slower? Doesn't have a faster orbit? It has a faster

rotation. Why do they say women are from Venus? But men are from Mars. Yeah, why do they say women are from Venus? It's the hottest planet. Okay. Maybe that. Is it?

I thought Mercury is the hottest. You would think, wouldn't you? But the atmosphere is different. Why does Mercury get so cold if it's so close in the sun? That's a great question. I think it's this atmosphere. I think it just doesn't hold in heat radiation. Yeah, a thick gash.

atmosphere that's like toxic that keeps everything cold maybe i don't know i think so how do they know that you think well we've landed stuff on venus but not on we've been to venus no not on mercury i don't think so right i don't know yeah but we've we've landed on venus but venus not people venus is the hottest planet even though it's the second closest to the sun but i think it's because of yeah the atmosphere is different and that's why they see say women are from Venus? I think they're just trying to say men and women are different. I think they just chose those two.

I bet there's something deeper. That's a good question. Because it could have been women are from Jupiter, men are from Uranus. Yeah. Be a much different. Who's from Neptune? You know?

All dogs go to Neptune. except Pluto yeah have you seen the movie Project Hell Mary I read the book I haven't seen the movie yet it's partially about Venus

yeah it was I forgot what they called it but it was something going from Venus to the sun that was starting to block it out yeah why do you think they name

all the planets after some sort of God or goddess yeah and you would ask that what do you think they should name it if they rename them

Like Oprah and Beyonce? Oh, I don't know. But I mean... I think some of them were just... Majority of them were discovered so long ago, that's when people worship those gods. Some people think that that maybe those planets are those gods,

wondering stars, as they often describe them. Jupiter is Fallen stars Fallen stars Yeah Jupiter's the largest planet Our solar system It would float though

Saturn would Saturn would Saturn would Jupiter wouldn't I don't think so Float in what Water Oh If you could

You can't replicate this But if you could Because it's hollow Drink it down Because it's just the density Of it would be buoyant If you could somehow Put it on water

It would float It's wider than What is it made out of? Gas. Okay. But I like gas. Like hydrogen. I mean like helium.

Helium. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Jupiter's the largest planet has 95 moons that we know of. 95 moons. One trip around the sun takes 12 Earth years. Don't they think some of those moons could be habitable?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Some of them have water on them, right? Mm-hmm. They think so. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? It is crazy.

we're all in agreement there the word crazy means a lot okay here's the thing though everything we've made well not not Neptune and not Uranus Uranus

everything else you can observe with your with a naked eye yeah so whole body so so even if somebody doesn't believe they exist, they can see it with their eye.

Yeah. So that's pretty cool, right? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think people's question is I can, it's real, but is it what you're telling me that it is. I think that's a lot of people. Have you seen the planets through a telescope? No.

It's pretty cool. I have seen people zoom in with like their Nikon cameras on stars. Right. And they get pretty wild. I bought a very cheap telescope from like Target probably cost $80. But I can see when I look at Jupiter, I can see very faintly some of the moons. I can't prove that's what they are. Yeah.

But when I look at Saturn, I can. What do they look like? Other little smaller dots. Little dots, yeah. Can you see the water on there? I can see the storm that's been on there for hundreds of years. You can see the red dot on the planet, right? I couldn't with my telescope.

Oh, okay. What's the red dot? It's a storm. It's like a hurricane that's so big and so powerful. The great red spot. What is the god Jupiter? Uh, I think he was one of the main ones. Maybe there's like some kind of...

This red dot is a massive spinning storm. It's been on the planet. It's lasted for hundreds of years. It's wider than the earth. Wow. That's how big that spot is. So that sounds like a nightmare to be in the middle of that. Now, they say it's shrinking.

Oh, is it really? So it's going to go away eventually. In 2004, its length was about half of that of a century earlier. Jupiter was king of the gods, god of the sky. I don't know what that means. Symbol lightning bolt. A lightning bolt. A lot of storms. But anyway, but Saturn, I could see the rings through my telescope. Yeah, that's crazy, right? His parents are Saturn, it said. Oh, really? Yeah. Saturn and...

Oops. Yeah, I never learned about any of this stuff growing up. Some people just know about all the Roman gods and all. And I can't tell you anything about. God of the sky and something, Thunder. You'll meet guys that I know all about Norse mythology. I'm like, how do you know all this stuff? I took Latin high school and I remember learning a little bit.

Yeah. But I don't remember any of it. Sorry, that's Saturn. Uranus, Uranus has an axle tilt of 90s. degrees. I mean, it's almost on its side. Yeah. What makes it that the axis then?

It's just spinning that way? Yeah. Kind of spinning a little lean to it. Yeah, it's got it's tilting over. And then Neptune. Where does that name come from? Is that a god? Yeah.

I think it is. Let's see what they're the god of. That's tough. That's tough. Uranus is the personification of the sky. and one of the Greek primordial deities. Oh, okay. Uranus was the son and husband.

Oh. Wow. The son and husband of Gaia, Earth, with whom he fathered the first generation of Titans. Oh, see, that sounds like some fallen angel stuff. Yeah, that sure does. Brought down some Nephilim to the earth. Maybe.

Yeah. I'll believe it. Some Titans, Tennessee Titans. Titans have not been doing as well later. but and then Neptune as the

furthest planet it has wind speeds of 1,200 miles per hour Jeez takes 165 Earth years to go around the sun

once. Wow. And so Galileo saw it through his telescope in 1612 but thought it was just a regular star

didn't know it was a planet and then 1846 two mathematicians figured it out that it was it was a planet. They used math to, because they would see it blocking through their telescope, blocking sky, they figured out it was a planet. Oh, okay. It's pretty amazing. All right. Right.

It is amazing. It is really amazing. It's crazy. It's amazing. I like when they'll go. They use math. You know what I mean? Because they don't. Equations. You know, it's like, you know, obviously if you're not a mathematician, it would be tough to figure out the math they were doing. But I like when the explanation is, they used math. And we go. Gosh. And there could be a planet nine. People have,

Sturrers have often thought that. But it's not like this is hidden information. If you looked into it, they would tell you how it's done. Yeah. I couldn't explain it to you, but they're not going to trust us. Yeah.

Yeah. It checks out. Math is available to do on your own. Yeah. Yeah. All right. The sun is, it's kind of calling the shots

as we've talked about. What do you think? Sorry, Laura. All the planets get all these wild names and then the sun. Like why? Well, soul is the name, right? Isn't that the name of our son? Is it?

I think so. It's frequently called soul, which is the Latin word for the sun and the root of the word solar. So where is soul coming in? It's Latin for Sun. But we don't get, soul wasn't like a god or something.

You want it to be named Hermes or something? Well, yeah, you just think, then the bigot, the thing we're all rotating around. Yeah. But if there's only one thing, it doesn't need a name. But you would think it would be like. If there were one planet, it'd just be called planet. But you would think it would be the main thing.

It's the sole focal point of it all, right? That's O-U-L. S-O-L. But it is, though, is our sole focal point. Yes. And it just is called nothing. I mean, it's like, we're all going around it. You would think that would be the main thing, the most important.

I thought that too, except I thought, we have a name for our planets. We have a name for our galaxy. But our solar system is just called solar system. But you're saying since that's the only solar system we'd be referring to. The sun, it got a simple type. the sun because ancient humans didn't know stars were other sons. Because our star was the only one they could see or interact with, it simply became known by the English noun for the object. That's he's an ancient human. In Greek, it was called Helios.

Which is by Heliocentric. Yeah, Helios is what it's called in Greek. Soul in Latin. See, Helios feels like a Greek god. Yeah. Sounds like it. All right. So we've talked about how the sun is going to go away in about 5 billion years. That's right. We've got to get out. But there's a plan. Helios, the ancient Greek... Personification of the Sun.

That's what Helios is in Greek mythology. But it said ancient Greek Titan before you clicked on it. Oh. Yeah. All right. There's a lot of information out here. Yeah, there you go. The ancient Greek Titan God and personification of the sun.

Yeah. All right. So five billion years, the sun's going to... Four horse chariot across the sky every day. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. So the sun is going to explode. Yes. In 5 billion years.

It's going to expand to roughly 260 times its current diameter. Swallowing the Earth. Because of its increased surface area, the surface of the sun will be cooler. Okay. I want to get your 401k out early. It's going to vaporize mercury, mercury as well as Venus and render Earth and Mars uninhabitable. All right. But there's a plan to save Earth.

The scientists, this is hot off the press. They're going to use math. They most certainly will use math, thus. An independent researcher, Gabriel Harry, outlines a paper, accepted for publication. Gabriel, the Archangel. Yes. Yeah. In the Journal of the British Interplanetary Society, here's his plan.

First, we've got to block out the sun to keep the Earth from burning to a crisp. So we're going to do that place, you know, large sunshade at the Lagrange point one, which is a gravitational bouncing spot between sun and the earth. So right now, everything gets pulled in Earth's gravity. You go too far. It starts getting pulled out into the sun's gravity. But there's a point where they would just be pulling on each other.

And he could stay there. Does that make sense? It's about a million miles away from the Earth. Okay. As a Lagrange point. All right. So we got to make a really, really big sunshade. And we've got to hang it there.

about a million miles away. But all that's doing is just buying us some time. Yes. But, and then we gotta get the Earth away from the sun. So he thinks we could

redirect an asteroid to fly close to Earth surface about a million times and the gravitational slingshut effect would gradually start pull the Earth away from the sun. Yeah, I like it.

But these are all just buying us time. I don't want to disrespect Gade, but you got to let it go. It's okay. Yeah, you just bided us some time. I mean, well.

You got to sit down and go, Gabe. I want to see how many. How many views my special is going to get worried. Yeah. I, oh, and then if the sun. That was good. That was a good plug. You kind of lost it.

You got to come in harder with it. You're right. Obviously, we don't need to be worried about it right now. But let's assume we keep going on for a long time, right? Human beings are around billions of more years. right? Eventually, our son, soul. Yeah. It's going to get big. It's going to swallow the earth.

So we got to, at some point, if human beings want to stick around, they got to leave Earth. Got to get to Mars. They got to get to at least Mars. Further than Mars. And then they got to keep going. But Mars is the first step. Yes. You can't. Just skip it. So we don't need to worry about it. Dusty, right you are.

We don't need to worry about it right now, obviously. But at what point do you start going, let's get the plan together. 4.9. I think you can never be too soon. Start right now. Let's do it now. I think we should lay the groundwork. I think so.

I think the universe is probably full of species like ours that went extinct because they went, you know what? It's not economically viable to leave this planet. I think if you're serving a life sentence with no chance of parole, you should get an opportunity to go, listen, you're never going to get out of here. But do you want to go to Mars? And then we could try just to see what happens. Why are we sending our worst people to Mars? You mean now, as we're still testing it. Yeah, give it a try.

Oh, just to see if they survive. If I were serving a life sentence with no chance of parole and they were like, do you want to go to Mars? I'd go. Yeah, might as well. Yeah, let me get out of here. Can you send some of the female prisoners, too? That's what I would ask. I would go through.

Because we've got to start a new family. I get it. But they're not actually going to do any of the work over there. Well, you know, just because you murdered someone doesn't mean you not, you know, have talents. They certainly have talents. But, I mean, it's probably not our best scientists. Yeah, probably not. Yeah.

But in all these movies where, like, at least they could get there and hold it down for them. Yeah. Just hold the fork. Yeah. Yeah. And all these movies where they send somebody and then. And almost everybody dies. The guy who survives is like the botanist.

The guy who knows how to grow thing. That's right. That's you two. Yeah. Not me yet. I'm just growing fruit apparently. Yeah. If the sun did go away, here's what would happen.

If it just vanished out of nowhere? Yes. First eight minutes and 20 seconds, we're good. We wouldn't even notice, right? No, because light takes eight minutes and 20 seconds to reach Earth. Then it's going to be sudden darkness. Moon would vanish because it only reflects sunlight. Yeah.

Earth would shoot straight out of its orbit into a dark space, about 67,000 miles per hour. Yeah. That's about how fast we're going now, right? I think we're going, it's 1,000 miles per hour? Because it's 24,000 miles around the Earth and it takes 24 hours. But we're also moving through space. Oh, yeah, that's spinning. So orbiting at a relative velocity around the sun, but we're also, the whole thing is moving.

That's true. Okay. So then the. first few weeks, photosynthesis stops immediately. So all plants die within weeks, collapsing the food chain. Surface temperature. What if you have UV lights, though, like grow lights? Is the electricity gone just because the sun's gone? I think so. Still operating on coal power out here. If you're using solar power, you're done. You are in trouble. You're done. Yeah.

Surface temperatures would drop below freezing within days. Average global temperatures would drop to zero degrees within a week. Oceans would eventually freeze in a few months, and surface life would die out completely. Only small groups near geothermal vents deep in the ocean or in special underground shelters using nuclear or geothermal power might survive for a short time, but Earth would eventually become a lifeless rock. Yeah, and you're going to need the sun eventually. Probably so.

But imagine the views for that first day. imagine the stars that you're going to get to see. Let's say this, though. This is what they don't say. Okay. What if we're just shooting through space? Yep. And then all of a sudden, we hook up with some new gravitational pool.

There's another star out there. We catch on to them. We start flowing around. It's like San Diego on the whole planet all of a sudden. Yeah. You know? We catch on to a new star. Yeah.

We're pretty far from the next star. But he's talking about how fast we're going to be so. But it's also moving too. Maybe it's moving our way. Maybe it's moving our way. Well, we hope so. Yeah. Because who knows, too, if the star burns out, maybe we were, you know, it's like a new star's

like, like, you know, going to move in and take over the territory. That's true. Uh-huh. Yeah. They're like, oh. It sees opportunity. Got some good planets over there. Yeah.

Yeah. Venus is pretty hot. So the Earth is spending on its axis on its axis at about a thousand miles per hour. It's orbiting the sun at roughly 66,000 miles per hour. It travels with the solar system around the Milky Way at 514,000 miles per hour. And then the whole galaxy is moving through the universe at over 1.3 million miles per hour. So we're hauling out there. We are going so fast.

That makes me... that makes me think hang on I said 67,000 miles per hour and you said we're currently going 66,000 so it makes me think oh this is 66.6.6. So that's the same thing.

So right. So we just kind of just go how fast? Just launch out there. 66,600. That's crazy. Yeah. That's probably rounded up or rounded it down.

Yeah, 666. All right. We've launched Voyager 1 and Voyager 2. Voyager 1 is now out of our solar system. It's in interstellar space. Whoa. We launched it 49 years ago. Are we getting any picks?

Not anymore. Not anymore, but we still have some communication with it. Radio signals traveling to Voyager 1 take about 23 hours and 42 minutes. Yeah, it's about to, on November 18th of this year, it will take one light day for a signal. That's crazy. What are we How are we communicating with it though? What are we sending?

Radio signals. They travel at the speed of light. And what's it doing? Just bouncing it back? Yeah, they send them back. Yeah. I don't know. Are they sending stuff back?

Or are we just? They are. They keep shutting down stuff on it. But they said, we'll probably lose complete communication by 2030. Okay. You just hope somebody finds it. We've got to get some AI on these things. It's too late now.

Yeah. It took the picture of the pale blue dot. The pale blue dot picture. What's that? Carl Sagan, you know him? Yeah, I've heard of him. He asked if they could, before it got too far away, if they could turn the camera around and shoot back at us.

And took a picture of a little bitty small dot of us in the vast. So that's the farthest picture of Earth ever taken. That's Earth right there, that little pale blue dot. I think that's the peephole in my hotel room. It has, I know you know this, Dusty, it has records on it, a golden disc for anyone who finds it. Oh, cool. Yeah. What's the disc?

It contains greetings of 55 languages, global music ranging from Bach to Chuck Berry. Yeah, Johnny Be Good. Oh, yeah. Well songs and natural sounds of wind, rain, and human laughter. And raccoon eating meat by Dusty Slay. Yeah. Yeah, you should. That should be on there.

You have to let them know. Humans can be a little silly, too. Yeah. In Voyager 2, it's also out there, quite as far away. And Elon Musk's car. Oh, that's right. They did launch that. Sherry-red Tesla Roadster launched in 2018.

Elon Musk, you know, he said, you can tell it's real because it looks so fake. That's what he said about his car. Oh, in space? Yeah. Do you believe that? I believe, yeah, he's what he said. I mean, if he was trying to make it real, I guess he's saying it would look more real. If I were faking this, it would look a lot better than.

this looks. It's a funny quote. You can tell it's real because it looks fake. Yeah, that's what I tell me. They say the Voyagers, they're not going to hit anything for millions of years. Yeah. Because there's nothing to hit. They're definitely not going to hit, like, statistically.

They're not going to hit anything. They're going to have to be scooped up by something. Yeah. But do you think that's cool that millions of years now, somebody might find out? Yeah, I love it. I love it. I think we should have void. We should be on Voyager 4.

hundred by now. I hope some other stuff. I hope they find it in five billion years and go, wonder what those people are up to now.

And then we come soaring by on a dead planet. You just hear us whip by. Help. Yeah. That's what I want. Was that them? I think I heard Johnny be good.

Yeah. I thought this was going to be funny. It really wasn't. I took each planet and his characteristics and decided which podcast guest would be most equivalent to that planet. Okay.

This is fun. So for Mercury, it's the smallest planet, so I said Nick Novikki. Okay, yeah, perfect. This is Nate Land and Public Figures.

Okay, I like it. The family. Yeah. For Venus, it's the hottest planet. So I said Derek Stroop, just because it's heating up. Oh, hot like angry.

Heating up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You do find him attractive, though, too. Yes. Either way it works. I almost did that one for myself for that reason. It's a good looking man. For Earth, I did Dusty.

All right. Because it's grounded. Yeah. Doesn't believe the other ones exist. That's right. Yeah. Only one not named after a god. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Mars, Fiona Colley. Okay. Red. Red, yeah. Red hair. Some of these are stretched.

No, I mean, that's pretty... Jupiter, Aaron. Always a stormer brewing. You're the king of the podcast. That's what I met. Maybe have some gas going on. Saturn, this is my toughest one. I said Nick Thune.

I feel like he wears a lot of rings. Okay. Hey, hey, that's not bad. I think that might just be Johnny Depp, but I kind of get... you know, it's kind of same vibe. Are you Pluto because you're not really a part of it? I actually did have that.

Did you really? Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not. It just depends on the time of day. You called me the fattest planet. That's fair. Also, Uranus or Uranus, I also had that for me because nobody knew I existed until, you know, recently. And you're the butt of a lot of jokes? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I wasn't going to say that. A what of a lot of jokes? The butt. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah. Come on.

That's good stuff, man. This guy's a comedian. Come on, guys. A little wet heat out there. And for Neptune, again, dusty, because it's the furthest out there. That's all right. That's all right. I like that I got two planets.

It's out there doing its own thing. You got two planets. I like that. That was good. I got two planets. Thanks. Yeah. All right.

Who's the sun? Oh, that's Nate. Because we all revolve around him. It's going to die in 5 billion years. Allegedly, but in my model, the sun revolves around me. I know, that's true. I know, that's true. But the sun's Nate.

We wouldn't exist if it went here, except for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to be around. Come on.

All right. That's it. So we're going to go see the meter shower. We're going to go do it. And then. We're going to go into Dusty's house at 3 a.m. Yeah. Wednesday.

Then we're going to fly up to Greenland to see the eclipse. Yeah. And see all the planets alive. Dussie's going to answer the front door. It's underwear with a shotgun. Get out of my property. Look out for us, Greenland. We're coming.

We're driving in Brian's car. I don't know why I might. I would love to hear some reports from the common folk out there. Yeah, go see the meteor show. If you see the eclipse or the shower. Yeah, go check it out. Do we have fans from Greenland? Do you know?

We might. We've got people from other places. Yeah. I forgot specifics. Yeah. We've had people from Africa. We've had people from the Middle East. We've had Europeans.

We've had Canadians. Surely we can split the difference. Sure. Australians. Somebody. Nah. But Greenland, for sure. Yeah.

If you're from Greenland, let us know. Yeah. Let us know. I want to come visit. All right. So August 21st and 22nd, I am in Springfield, Missouri at the Springfield Comedy Club. Have you been to the new club yet? I have not.

Have you been to the new club yet in Springfield? No, I haven't. Yeah, I'm excited to see what they've been doing. I don't know. Is it the same spot? I'm curious to see what they've done with the place. Yep. So that's August 21st, 22nd.

And then September 6th, I'm in Chicago at Zanis. Nice. Chicago, that's Labor Day weekend. So come out for that. October 3rd, I'm at the Commonwealth Comedy Club in Cincinnati. Awesome. I've got some fun dates coming up. This is Aaron Weber speaking, by the way. Later this month, I'm going to be in Phoenix, Arizona at the Desert Ridge Improv. That's August 28th, 29th, and 30th. September, moving in October, is going to be a big month for me. Come see me in Orlando, Conroe, Texas, Birmingham, Alabama, San Francisco, Sacramento.

Then I'm going to finish off October in Rutherford, Rutherford, New Jersey at Bananas Comedy Club. Go to Aaronwebercomedy.com for all my date. Thanks. Okay. The next two weeks, the 13th through the 15th and the 20th through the 22nd, I'm doing all Air Force bases. Not open to the public, but I think if you're like military and live in those areas, you can come. I don't know for sure. Yeah.

You got to ask some Space Force guys about all this. Yeah, I will. Yeah, figure out what's going on. I will. But those dates are all listed on my website. So you can see what Air Force I'm coming to, I think, around Kansas City, around St. Louis, around Dayton. That's what I'm doing most recent. And then Hobbs, New Mexico on August 28th.

What's going on there? A show. I mean, a theater? I don't know. To be honest with you, it's a little unclear. I think it's some sort of festival. Okay. I don't know if it's a comedy festival or a music festival.

I don't have a lot of details, but Adam Bush will be there with me. All right. That's right on the border of Texas and New Mexico. That's out there, man. Yeah. I bet it's beautiful out there. I bet you're right. Good stargazing out there.

Yeah, it might be not a lot of light pollution out there. Yeah. I got to go check out and see what's going on out there. I'll get a little telescope. Yeah. Kids, if you're going back to school this, week. You're learning about the planets. Remember, my very educated mother just showed us noodles. Just showed us noodles. Dusty, name the planets in order. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune,

me, Jupiter, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. There you go. All right. And then the Ort Cloud. Yeah. Yeah. All right. That's it. Thank you so much, everyone for tuning in.

We're having a good time. All right. Hey, we're having a great day. We love being in the public eye. If we weren't, then we want to die. A podcast with Brian, Aaron, and Dusty.

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