The Nateland Podcast - #28 Calendars

Episode Date: January 6, 2021

This episode, we go in-depth on a controversial topic most podcasts are afraid to tackle - the history of calendars. We look at previous calendars throughout history, proposed calendars of the future, and what we would change about our calendar of today.    Co-hosts: Brian Bates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber)   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail] #nateland #natebargatze Find your perfect mattress at HelixSleep.com/Nate

what's up everybody or hello folks i started saying what's up everybody hello folks welcome to nateland uh sitting here today i'm nate aaron brian. Happy New Year. This is the first episode of the rest of our lives. 2021. We did it. Everybody's glad that we're done with 2020. People seem to be. And we made it. We're doing the new year.

Did you party it up? New Year's Eve? No, we went in eight, and then that was it. So came back, and we did the Eastern time zone New Year's for the kids. The ball dropping. Yeah, 11 o'clock, did it, told them it was. And they were just like, but it says. They keep figuring it out.

But why does your phone say 1059? I go, my phone's not correct. My time that gets from the satellite that's precisely perfect. There's a whole hour behind. Must be something's up with it. You know, technology. I remember going with you guys to a New Year's Eve party when Harper was two. She stayed up past midnight.

Yeah. Harper is like me. Harper just doesn't nod off. She doesn't. She's not a. Like, Laura, well, we watch a movie. We can't start a movie past nine or Laura will never make it. Harper will stay up.

And so we always tell her she can try to stay up as late as she wants. I think Harper could stay up 24 hours. And I would like to try that one day. But we made her go to sleep. I mean, she gets – obviously, she's tired. She gets delirious. And, like, you know, it's like kids, they get – it's pretty funny. You see, like, kids get drunk because they're just so tired,

and they're just being silly, and they're very funny. And when you try to make them go to bed, it's like a meltdown. And so we made – that night, she went to bed you know it was around midnight i guess 11 30 midnight and then she's you know never gonna get to stay up ever late again and you said you promised me one night and i was like all right we'll stay up one night i was like we're do it we were having a big day the next day with my family. So I was like, we can't do it tonight. And then the next night we stayed, they ended up staying up till two. So I was like, this is your night. Wow.

Like, this is it. This is the dinner. Like in the Seinfeld, the soup. This is the meal. This is the meal. All right, we're doing it. So we got it. But it was good.

It was a fun, you know, we did it. We had fun. You know, 2021 feels like the same. So we're going to start off as usual. First comments of the new year. These are from YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Apple Podcast Reviews. And you can always email nateland at natebargetzi.com. First up, Lori Crawford. Lori Crawford or Lori Crawford. I just want to let you guys know how great you are. Sadly, extremely sad, my son succumbed to his PTSD. Man, this is like a sad one. I'm already messing up.

Succumbed? All right. Succumbed to his PTSD struggle last week before Christmas. And needless to say, as his mother, I was beyond devastated. I had not smiled or laughed or felt any happiness in days. Then I had to go somewhere one day when I got in my car to drive, your podcast came on and it made me smile, even laugh. I was so grateful at that moment for you and what you do. So thank you so much. Keep it up. I'm going to need you a lot in the future. Well, thank you, Lori. That's

super nice. We'll keep your son in our thoughts and prayers and uh yeah that's tough man and she i corresponded with her she said she wanted to really thank you for doing shows for the troops oh it meant a lot to her family yeah well i mean they you know i'm the loser those guys she said that too but yeah yeah tell him don't let him think, he's not better than us. I don't want him to get too hit. David Banner, thanks to you kind folks, I have a connection with my son who is on the autism spectrum. I drive him to a special school that has a 30-minute commute each way. For a long time, we just drove in silence because he doesn't want to talk or listen to music.

I'd love to now, I might want to ride with your son. I love that. We just don't have to talk or listen to music for 30 minutes. I'll take him to music. I'd love to now. I might want to ride with your son. I love that. But you don't have to talk or listen to music for 30 minutes. I'll take him to school. I love the Netflix special for the unbelievable level of comedy and the clean humor. I turned on your podcast one morning. I expected him to protest. He didn't say anything for about 10 minutes, and then he started laughing at everything. We love the banter, the teasing back and forth, and the sarcasm.

Sarcasm is a rare thing for a person with autism to fully grasp, but he loves it all. Now, we listen every day and talk about the stuff that you guys are stumbling through. I can't thank you enough for giving us this opportunity to share. Well, thank you, David. That's cool. Yeah, that's very cool. Thanks to your son, too. I'm glad he loves it.

And yeah, I'll ride with him. 30 minutes, no talking, no music. I'm on board. And he wants I'll ride with him. 30 minutes, no talking, no music. I'm on board. And he wants to just listen to talk radio. I mean, what is it? This is the greatest car ride of all time. John Brocato. Brocato.

I love everything about this podcast, including the fact that Nate and Aaron blazed right past the cleverest statement uttered so far on the show. Nate thinks a pronoun is a noun that gets paid to be in a sentence. This is next level brilliant and easily Bracelet's shining moment. That's what you said? Yeah, when you were talking about you didn't know what an adverb was, I said Nate thinks a pronoun is a noun that gets paid to be in a sentence.

Oh, wow. That is funny. I don't think I caught it. That is very funny. We talked right past it. I'm sorry. Wow. Wow. Bracelet. Bracelet I caught it. That's very funny. We talked right past it, I'm sorry. Wow, wow.

Bracelet. Bracelet's a good, it's a funny word. Bracelet's a funny word. Yeah. Look at that. At least he got it, huh? You wrote that, but John Bricotta is your fake name? And I was like, if I call myself by my real name.

They're going to get it. They'll get it. Let me call myself Bracelet. Jeff Fox. myself my real name they're gonna get it they'll get it let me call myself bracelet jeff fox the fact that a man who thinks we can use etc in places of numbers is wildly successful is all the proof we need that this is the best time to be alive it's a good point that is the fact that a man who thinks we can use etc in place of numbers is wildly successful pie is 3.14 etc etc are we going to go through them all who's going to go through them all no one's going to go through them all yeah you just keep them rolling

dude and the fact that i am successful is is it is proof that's what i mean yeah i think there's a lot of dumb people doing a lot of big things right now more than ever you think cavemen you couldn't have had just a dumb they died immediately they would just be gone yeah you couldn't survive you know especially the dumb ones i mean the dumb ones i mean some of them would survive at a pure just luck yeah yeah luck and like they're not scared they're not scared of anything so they're fighting animals yeah like they just go into it find the lion they. They're like, whatever, man. You know, you need some of that. But nowadays, I mean, yeah, that's I mean, I think that's our main problem.

We got too many dumb people that have too many bigger platforms. Christopher Stanley. Nate tries to hum a few bars of Downtown by Petula Clark to see if he can get Aaron to recognize it. Aaron begins singing lyrics from Fallout Boy. I almost choked to death taking a sip of water as that happened. Aaron wins Millennial of the Year. I'll take it, man. Congrats, buddy.

That's a title, dude. Yeah. Millennial of the Year. You're thick in the millennials. Yeah, I'm right in the, I'm what you think of when you hear millennial. I'm like right in the sweet spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The worst of the worst. Yeah. Or the best of the best. Depends. Depends on who you hear millennial. Like the right in the sweet spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The worst of the worst.

Yeah. Or the best of the best. Depends. Depends on who you're talking to. We're doing good stuff, I think. I think millennials do a lot of good stuff. Yeah. They do a lot of crazy stuff too.

You know, a lot of people commented on the downtown. Like, how did you guys miss the Seinfeld reference? You did say it. You said it really fast. And you said Seinfeld reference. But we say it. You said it really fast. And you said Seinfeld reference, but we'd already talked about it before the show. Yes. And it was, yeah,

a lot of our funniest stuff would get out of the way. And it's, yeah, like, well, that was a reference that downtown, I think we, you know, sometimes we make these Seinfeld references, they're so quick and they're as if we're just sitting in the room alone. Yeah. And we say it, and it's like, yeah.

So, yeah, it's not as always pointed out. But, yeah, that was a great down. Down town. They break down the entire song. Yep. Pete Leaners. Lean Hears. L-E-E-N-H-E-E-R-S.

Lean Hears. Lean Ears. Maybe Lynn Ayers. PeteN-H-E-E-R-S. Lean Hears. Len Ayers. Maybe Len Ayers. Pete Len Ayers. What do you think he says? Lean Hears? You think that's what he says? There's no way.

You said Len Ayers? Len Ayers sounds. Okay. If I'm interviewing. That's an odd way to spell it. Well, if I'm interviewing a guy and he comes in, I go, what's your name? He goes, my name's Pete. Lean Hears.

You're going, well, Pete, why don't you walk on back out of here? You think I'm going to pronounce that name like that? Lenears. He goes, Pete Lenears. That's what he says, Lenears. And you go, all right, Pete, I'll talk to you. That's fair. The odds of him winning an Emmy with two of four nominations

assuming random selection is, in fact, 83%, not 50 or 75. He had a 17% chance of not winning an emmy that's a great that's exactly right 83 is still a lot it is a few people did that math for us yeah and uh you know i asked my buddy ben hall who listens to podcasts about what he was thinking he's the one that lost out that night yeah and i was like what were you thinking? He said, I took a date. That's how confident I was that I'm going to win something. And then when they announced, we've got a tie, he's like, I've won twice. Yeah.

He thought he was going to win twice. Yeah. And he's won both of them. And then he had to call his parents and say, I didn't win. They're like, well, who did win? He said, everyone but me. Yeah. Everyone else. Three people.

He's two of them. Almost like someone did that on purpose. Someone had it out for him? I would believe that someone had it out for him. I mean, how do you not have it out for him? Is this clock counting down? We got a new clock in. It's going up.

10 minutes, 52 seconds. Okay, I get it now. Man, that confuses me wait we're trying to show well we got a new clock to go that 11 one of the one of the things is in blue can you show it does it can it see it uh and so the 11 is in blue so we always have a clock there to kind of see where we're at. And so that 11, this is new. I just saw it running. I go, what's the blue number?

And everybody goes, I don't know. Yeah. And then I'm seeing the other thing and I'm like, what is happening? And it was a quick, I didn't figure it out. All right.

All right. We figured it out now. Now we got it. Yeah. We got what it is. Uh, so everybody calm down. We'll do an episode on time. Sometimes. Yeah. How did time get invented. Yeah. We got what it is. So everybody calm down. We'll do an episode on time sometimes.

Yeah. How did time get invented? Yeah. What is time? Or is it invented? Is it? Yeah. Is there so many people that don't believe it?

Is it a human construct or is it just, you know, we can dive into it later, but. Like, did we make it up? Does it even matter what it is? Yeah. I mean, the sun sets and stuff so you're gonna say what time how long is the sun up so wouldn't it just be there's still time whether it's a number or not right right okay all right i don't know i'll have to wait till brian does all the research and then we'll learn more about it we'll talk we're gonna talk about some of that today yeah oh teaser um a little teaser and stick around folks

or or say goodbye yeah i'd be like i'm out these guys are gonna delve into that no guys it's much boring than time um time yeah you wish we were gonna get into time and that's what's gonna happen when you get done with this podcast is go why don't y'all do time good night how long was that that podcast took a lot of time uh zachary zern zz zachary zern sewer systems and access to clean water greatly increased around 1900 infection and disease decreased dramatically as soon as we were able to efficiently get rid of sewage. Next time you flush, remember how good you have it, folks. This toilet is the most underrated invention of all time, the toilet is. That's pretty true. Yeah.

Something you don't think about. Everybody says slice of bread. You know, it's great as a slice of bread. Isn't that the same? Yeah, it's a slice of bread. It's a slice of bread. But they should say that. But toilet, I would think, is just anytime you're going to say a saying like that, it's probably a little grosser. yeah some sliced bread yeah some sliced bread but so they should say that but toilet i would

think is just anytime you're going to say a saying like that it's probably a little grosser oh it's the best thing since toilet this is the best thing since the toilet if you're at a party everybody's like all right and then you go just say slice of bread that's a little bit you know it's a little we can keep we can roll with it everybody's like oh it's a good point yeah and toilet seems okay. I go with AC. Because he doesn't just stop. He goes, what do you mean the toilet?

He goes, you know, because you're pooping it. And everybody's like, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up, back up. Hold on. Yeah, AC. Well, the toilet, though, I think I agree with him.

The toilet, that's a world of problems. Yeah. I agree, but I feel like I've been giving it the credit it deserves my whole life i didn't know if you guys can walk around taking it for granted y'all probably talk about it at your dinner table do y'all do that y'all talk about they debate it y'all debate it and go all right webers yeah what's the best invention that you've seen and then you go oh oh dad and then you cut and you all eat. All I know is, yeah, I guess, yeah, I'm never really without a toilet.

But when I'm without AC, that changes my life for a while. But, I mean, if you could go with one or the other. Take the toilet probably. Yeah, you're right. So, I mean, that's the air conditioning, you can figure it out. You know, fall's coming. Get a fan. You're right. Or just wait for the colder temperatures. that's the air conditioning. You can figure it out. You know, fall's coming. Get a fan. Yeah, right.

Or just wait for the colder temperatures. It's going to come. Just start walking north. Do opposite of the birds. That's what you do. You do opposite of the birds. Start heading north. You want to be in that good, you know.

This person's making the point that that's when lifespan started increasing greatly. We showed that graph last week. It's just when, oh, so it wasn't Walmart that was invented,

it was toilets. Well, you might be right. Might be Walmart. selling these toilets. Yeah. So that's a catch 22. Yeah.

I think a little bit of both. I think a little Walmart and toilet have lots to do with it. Someone went into Walmart and used a toilet and goes, we can buy these

for our house? Morgan Smith. I love when Aaron just gives up and tells Nate that's fair. Even when Nate is arguing for something utterly atrocious. Aaron senses when it's time to move on and says that's fair so Bedpost can move the show along. Love the podcast.

Morgan sees right through us. That is fair, Morgan uh you know she gets it yeah i think i have that already today yeah you go that's fair you give up you don't want to talk about well that's just where you get to the point where you're like all right we've died fair enough yeah you know and yeah you don't want to talk about it much anymore you're kind of over it well you do you can pin people into a corner yeah you can't who me yeah you don't want to talk about it much anymore. You're kind of over it. Well, you can pin people into a corner. Yeah. You can.

Who, me? Yeah, you can. Yeah. And then you just, when you're in the corner, you just go, all right. Yeah. Yeah. That's throwing the towel in is what it is. Yeah.

That's what I like to do. I like to back you down in a corner where you can't get out. And then you have to go, that's fair. Then I go, all right. All right, bedpost. The door's right there. The bedpost goes, all right. And then right there the bed post goes all right and then next round he rings the bell next round laurie laurie renshaw a couple lorries laurie renshaw

i hate to be this person but as a pharmacist i have to clarify the aspirin situation it's actually 325 milligrams per tablet so just under 100 tablets a day i guess they kept the news of the truckloads of aspirin being delivered daily to the corner pharmacy out of the headlines too whoever had the patent was making a killing in more ways than one so we were saying 150 so and it's only 100 just under 100 still a significant amount of aspirin still a lot i mean just the sheer volume of the pills is going to be a problem in your stomach yeah i mean it's you it's a meal a hundred yeah breakfast kind of did we already do that joke kind of might have done that uh yeah i mean it's still a hundred

and then but it's not as bad if you went to a town and they go we do a hundred and the other town is 150 you'd go i'm glad to be here i still i'm still not thrilled but if you you went to a town and they go we do 100 and the other town is 150 you'd go i'm glad to be here i still i'm still not thrilled but if you just went to a this do you go a town over and they go we do 100 we're not crazy and you go you're not you're definitely not as crazy because they're doing 150 right over there yeah and you are at 100 but i mean i think i still y'all still need to calm it down i always think aspirin i always take it i never think it's this magical thing that i feel better you don't you don't feel it working i don't think so are you talking about like tylenol or anything yeah yeah i mean i'll take it i guess uh maybe you have a severe headache

i don't think i don't like to take stuff that's probably a good mentality yeah i've never been a big where i want to take a million things i mean i have to take some stuff and now i'm taking zyrtec i'm supposed to i don't take it all the time i'm supposed to allergies just like allergies i never had allergies but i have them more than i ever have now and uh i would so i took one today you're supposed to take it every day, but I don't. I'm not a big fan. I try to take stuff to sleep. That's the only thing that I do.

We've narrowed down to – I've narrowed down to it has to be Sour Patch Kids late at night. That's what I think. You just looked at me like, how many do you take, Brian? I'll say, what's your pill regimen well it's one for it's got a day it's got a marker

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday do you have a marker yeah I've said that on here but I have a pill box now oh man do you do Saturday, Sunday together or is the S's separate

separate separate S's yeah that's good what age did you have to get it just recent yeah yeah this year last year I guess because it just started Separate essence. Yeah. That's good. What age did you have to get it? Just recent? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. This year. Last year, I guess. Because it just started becoming a handful. The amount of pills you had to take, it starts to get. Yeah. How many pills are in the thing? Just two.

Just two. I could just never remember if I... If you've taken it already. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. That's not an age thing. I think everybody would probably have trouble remembering it.

But so you just set them out every morning, and then you just grow and take your two. Yep. All right. One's for acid reflux. Oh. One's just a daily vitamin. One's just your face.

What? I don't know. I just felt like that was fun to say. And one's just for my general, my face in general. And they had

a pill for like down-solting that would be to the doctor. He goes, and this one's just for your overall.

Here's one for your face. You're a pretty rough-looking guy. And you're like, good night, dude. And he goes, yeah, it's just a good pill

for you. He goes's what does it do because i don't i don't honestly don't know it gives you worse vision so straight up roast so you don't see it i'm not saying you i just now we're going along with okay i like the idea of a pill they should make a bill that does that for people's face it's for your face and a doctor just says that straight up your face i always always, when I get questions from doctors, I feel like I never know how to answer any of their questions. When they ask, I went and had a physical,

and it's like I've had my shoulder hurt, which I've been golfing an obnoxious amount, and then I started working out a little bit. So I was like, oh, it's probably working out. I blame it on working out. By the way, I swing a club every was like that's probably working out i blame it on working out even by the way i swing club i swing a club every day it's probably that and then uh they go and she was like i bet you've had that the whole time so it's a good you know we're talking about there like it's you get to an age where it's just like yeah you just sounds like she didn't know how to

answer you i think so but i don't ever know how to tell them exactly the problem i would think doctors have a big problem with that is that they don't know how to get the information from the patient yeah and they go describe what it is and you go i don't know if i can i've thought about that if there should be some device that the doctor puts it on and then they can feel the whatever pain you're feeling believe it they're like oh i know're like, oh, I know exactly what that is. Yeah, and you go, yeah. I mean, that's why you need a doctor that has a ton of experience because he's going to go, I've heard this before. Whatever example, because this is back to my point.

This is why jokes, and I'm kind of all over this, but this is why I think jokes work so much, when jokes can be relatable. When you write a joke and it's very relatable to a group of people because we're all the same. None of us are doing anything that's really different we have the same kind of fights with our families and same kind of stuff so a doctor can you know when you go describe a pain the way you describe it unless you're like a weirdo that describes it some weird way it's the doctor's probably heard that and then he's going to know what it is yeah but you need him

to have that experience to be like i've looked looked at thousands of people, and I've heard a thousand people be like, it's just like in my back of my tricep or something. And then they go, I get the idea of what it probably is. But yeah, it is hard to tell them. I remember I went to the doctor once with sinus problems, and the doctor goes, does it feel like somebody's blowing up a balloon inside your head? I was like, that is perfect. I was so impressed with the analogy. I was like, that is perfect.

Yeah. I was so impressed with the analogy. I was like, God, you nailed it. Yeah. I didn't even think of it. But yeah, exactly. And then you go, yeah. And then he goes, take this.

This is for your face. Yes. That was a pill for your face. That is a face pill. That was a face pill. For sure. For sure. Yeah, absolutely.

I bet doctors get frustrated now with all the self-diagnosis from the internet. Yeah. Because whenever I go in, I always tell the doc what I think it is. For sure. Yeah, absolutely. I bet doctors get frustrated now with all the self-diagnosis from the internet. Yeah. Because whenever I go in, I always tell the doc what I think it is, and he always just stares at me, lets me finish, and then he tells me what it is. Yeah. But I always look it up. I feel like I need to tell him what I think it is. Yeah.

Well, you want to lead him down. Well, I guess you're worried they don't care. That's why you have a fear that they... It's the way I look at it. It's why I don't trust in's what you that you have a fear that they you know i it's the way i look at it it's why i don't trust in anything or i'm always skeptical of stuff is because everybody's still a person so whatever person you know that'd be like if people when you have to take your clothes off to a doctor it's hard for you to rationalize like you don't like just you're like you're not gonna make fun of me when i leave the room or something and you're like well i'm a

doctor i don't look at it that way and you look but you're like i don't know how to, you're not going to make fun of me when I leave the room or something. And you're like, well, I'm a doctor. I don't look at it that way. And you're like, but you're like, I don't know how to not. You're still a person. Yeah, exactly. And you can't tell me that there's not. You don't go, well, we do, you know, you don't bring it up. And when you have your doctor party, sit next to a proctologist. You sit next to a proctologist at a party, you stay there. Yeah.

That's a Seinfeld reference. Have I talked about. A million to one, doc. A million to one million to one i went to the er like a few months ago since we've done this podcast yeah i can't yeah no you haven't it was during covid i just my foot just started hurting middle of the night i couldn't sleep this is and i before crispy green this i get i want that on the record yeah yeah that's another do the crispy cream and it wasn't it wasn't like i looked up like diabetic nerve pain i was like what is this couldn't figure it out and i couldn't describe it better than just my foot hurt real bad the whole

foot and i just couldn't sleep i called my mom she goes just go to the er it could be a blood clot or something i don't know so i go to the er i'm the only one there and and the whole time i was like they're just gonna think that this is like not a real thing yeah so i was just so nervous about trying to articulate how bad it hurt so i'm sitting in the chair thing and the person comes in and they're like did you did you hurt it did you bump it into something i was like no did you twist it i got i was just sitting down and it just started hurting. So she goes, okay.

And I see her walk out in the hallway and like a group of them. And they kind of all look at me at once and then look back. And I was like, they're just talking trash out there, dude. They're like, we'll give you an x-ray. Maybe.

I mean, this is not a, anyway, they just gave him, sent me home and it got fine after a while. I don't know. It never hurt you again? No,

it hurts so bad though. And I had no idea don't know what hurt you again no it hurt so bad though and i had no idea what could you walk on it no i couldn't walk on it and then no medicine or anything he just went away they said just take some ibuprofen i was like i get a prescription they're like look you don't need a prescription yeah i was like oh my gosh took some aspirin yeah i didn't even take a hundred i just took three or four and it went away and you're fine now yeah i'm fine hasn't hurt You did a Lambo leap this weekend. I did do a Lambo leap, yeah. He went to Green Bay.

All right. Well, maybe someone will write in and be like, yeah, dude, you need to go back. You're going to lose that foot. I might need to. It feels great now, though, dude. If anybody has a heavy diabetes listening to this, let us know if you go, I remember that day. If you're listening to what aaron just said you go i remember that day and it was 20 years before it all went down you know just give us a heads up

yeah you know brian keegan hello folks i enjoyed watching the donut challenge episode very much it reminded me of a challenge we did with a guy at work we dared him to eat one of everything from the company vending machine. The machine had small packages of chips, cookies, candy bars, et cetera, et cetera. It sounds easy. I even considered trying it myself. I'm glad I did it because not even halfway through, my coworker was thrown up in a garbage can. We think it may have been the breath mints that put him over the top. He was miserable, but he made a boring day at work more entertaining for all of us. It was a well day.

Love you, Nate, Aaron, especially Brutus Beefcake. Keep up the good work. I love that. That is a pretty good one. Yeah, I like that. You think you could eat all the vending machines? I was thinking, oh, I could do that.

And then he mentioned Breathman. So I was like, God, you'd have to eat a whole pack. All the row of gum down there? And you got to just swallow the gum? Yeah. No, I'm sure you can spit it out, the gum. You just chew it? I think you just have to chew it.

But I would definitely go gum last. Okay. You start at the bottom with the heaviness. You start at the top of me and maybe work your way down. No, I'd start at the bottom. I always think the gum's at the bottom you start at the top of me and maybe work your way down no i'd start at the bottom oh that's the big stuff the gums at the bottom well i guess it is i guess it depends on where you your vending machine but wherever the gum's at you want to start opposite of that yeah and then you want to you want to go from there how long you got to chew each piece i would just throw all it's probably juicy fruit five just dump them all in there you know

the juicy fruit five yeah they fought for equality in the 60s probably Juicy Fruit 5. Just dump them all in there. The Juicy Fruit 5. They fought for equality in the 60s. It's a Netflix documentary. The Juicy Fruit 5. Was it serious? It was. It was normal. It was really fighting over nothing.

They wanted the same rights as Big Red. Yeah. You going to put us on the same shelf? Look how far back we are. We always have one little metal bar that's empty in front of us. What is that doing to us? No one ever buys us. All right, everybody.

We had a big, yeah, like we said earlier, we had a great New Year's and all that stuff. We also got something sent to us from a listener. Apparently, the dead Burt Reynolds is a big fan of the show. The Burt Reynolds. The Burt Reynolds. Dear Nate, Aaron, and Brillo Pat, of the show the burt reynolds the burt reynolds dear nate aaron and brillo pat hello folks it's me america's favorite dead actor 1970s sex symbol mr burt reynolds aaron might be too young to know

who i am but i'm sure nate has heard of me and i think i went to high school with belly button son uh i won't i'm uh we'll post the whole thing so you can read it it's very funny uh it's uh what is this from is uh we have a mutual friend the dad burt reynolds and uh me are friends with greg garcia and he's got a tv show the guest book is going to be available on hulu soon and he actually sent us uh episodes of the guest book to watch i don't know if anybody saw the guest book when it was on uh not a lot of people watched it and no but it was a it was a great show and uh it's going to be on hulu soon greg garcia is uh he listens to the podcast uh i've got to be lucky to become very good friends with Greg. He also created My Name is Earl,

The Millers, a guest book, Raising Hope. I might even miss him one more. He's done a lot. And honestly, one of the best writers I've ever met, I've never seen., would be a phenom in my eyes of the dude can write a script just, and it's so good and writes it so fast. And he's just on another planet. And when we wrote, so when we, he came and helped us when we were writing our show, our show, they didn't go anywhere. And it's probably Greg's fault that it didn't. But when we were writing that show, Greg came in to help.

But when we were writing that show, Greg came in to help. And it was unreal how good he was, how much he would come in and write. And it was just unbelievable. He just would come in and he'd throw out, I have this idea. And you're like, all right. First time when I first met him, I didn't know him. And so they're like, he's helping us. And I was like, I got gotta listen to this idiot talk and so then he tells us he's like what about if you do this for your ideas and I was like well that's maybe the greatest idea I've ever heard

and then we just immediately changed and I was like we should do all those ideas and we basically rewrote the script because of him uh so he's unbelievable and uh so check out uh we're posted the the the letter because it's very funny. And then check out the guest book. It'll be on Hulu. Uh, and he's a, he's one of the folks. He's one of us folks. Nice.

So, uh, let's go watch it. Uh, all right. This week, uh, we have, we, we kind of teased that we were talking about time. We're not doing time. Well, kind of, kind of, kind of time. We're talking about time we're not doing time well kind of kind of kind of time we're talking about calendars i mean talk about just a school if this was a school imagine being a student and they go hello everybody we are going to talk about calendars today and you're like are we kidding me just zoom Do you mind if I take my

Zoom camera off? Yeah. I have a lot of faith in the topic. I really do. But this sounds like a comment that someone would leave. What are you guys going to talk about next? Calendars? We're like, yeah, actually, that's a good idea. Or we might do two parts of it.

I got a lot here, folks. Do you know how we come up with the year, 365 days, like that length of time? No, of course not. I've never. Do you know? Well, that's how long it takes the Earth to rotate around the sun, right? Yes.

That's an easy answer. One trip around the sun. That was a pretty simple answer right there. You know. I don't know when they teach you that. I thought... You just thought everyone knew it? Yeah. That's fair.

Did you know it? Everybody knew it? Do you know how long a day is? 24 hours. Yeah, but why is it 24 hours? Because of the moon. What do you want me to say is it the moon it's a rotation of the earth go around the moon moon flies around i look at the moon every night dude don't talk to me like i don't know the moon

i know the moon when i see him last night i looked at the moon it was huge last night it was huge yeah so the moon was missing somehow yeah so for a day that's the earth spinning on its axis yeah one time around the earth spins at a thousand miles per hour right now we're traveling a thousand miles an hour feels like it feels like it uh i'll double down one more do you know how we come up with months this is the toughest one uh i wish i knew this one that'd be great is it cycles of the moon yep oh wow yep one one cycle of the moon's 29 and a half days the word month came from the word moon oh i didn't know that yeah oh yeah Oh, yeah. None don't know everything, do we?

Well, I got it right. Notre Dame doesn't. Well, y'all good at guessing. Notre Dame. I didn't go to college, dude. I'm not smart at this kind of stuff. But I'll, you know, I can talk my way into a lot of the more stuff. So ancient calendars used to be lunar calendars.

They go off the moon. ancient calendars used to be lunar calendars they go off the moon and uh so the moon goes through a full cycle about every 29 and a half days um but it was it would start to mess things up because the sun and the moon don't cooperate with each other have you heard rory scover's got a great joke about that what with the sun you ever go outside and see the moon the you know when you see the moon during the day and the sun's like what are you what are you doing and he's like what i'm not he goes i thought i wanted to come out it's like everybody can and the moon's like all right i'll go back sit and don't go back now everybody's already seen you might as well stay out here why are you out here so like he's at the moon the moon came out too early that's funny so the romans had the first calendar kind of like ours but theirs was only 10

months long they didn't have january february new year started march 1st which have been the coldest months i don't think we should have them either well that's their reasoning they just called it a dead period we don't need it are you serious yeah live through it yeah i mean they just didn't they didn't call it anything they weren't doing doing anything. It was just a dead period. That's so funny. Yeah, so they would just, they're just like, what if you have to do something during this time? Well, there wasn't much doing back then. So, but if you go, well, we got to go,

I was going to meet, and you go, we'll need to meet in the dead period. And you go, well, how do we know when to do that? That's a good question. And then they go, well, just count it, because people probably had dead period and you go, well, how do we know when to do that? That's a good question. And then they go, well, just count it. Because people probably had dead period calendars. Yeah, secret. Their own secret.

That's why like October, the word octo is eight, like octopus has eight legs. But October is the 10th month. The reason is before this, it used to be the eighth month. Oh. Because there was no January or February. Because they were being ridiculous. Yes. It's going to get a lot worse.

I mean, that's ridiculous to go, we just have a dead period. And you go, we're just not going to acknowledge it. Let's just all tap out for a little bit. Yeah. I mean, who just came up with this? Me? That's what I would have came up with back then. Like, well, we just don't do it.

That's the easiest thing. So it wasn't working for a lot of reasons. We just named. So in 45 BC, Julius Caesar said, we got to do a better calendar, guys. Come on. That's like if a president ran on, right now running on Daylight Savings Time. Like that's like Julius Caesar. A president should run on that to go like, I'm going to just change.

Guys, come on. What are we doing? And that's what Julius Caesar did. He's like, all right, this calendar is ridiculous. He goes, look, I'm going to just change. Guys, come on. What are we doing? And that's what Julius Caesar did. He's like, all right. This calendar is ridiculous. He goes, look, I'm here. You're here. Who are we kidding ourselves?

Who are we kidding ourselves? You're doing something during that time, right? We're not in hibernation. Yeah, we're not bears. We just wake up and come out. I went grocery shopping during the dead period, and I went on a day that it was sunny, and then I slept when it wasn't, and then woke back up when it was sunny.

So Julius Caesar is an astronomer. This is amazing they could figure this out that far back. Yeah. I can't figure it out now. I know. Even with all the information. I couldn't either. But the astronomers figured out that the Earth goes around the sun 365 days.

So they made a 365-day calendar just like we have. Starts January 1st. Has a leap year every four years. Do you guys know how we come up with leap year? Just because something's off. Yeah. So. I don't think there's like.

I think it's just stop asking. Just start telling. No, I love it. It's a asking just start telling I mean that is right something's a little bit off they messed up though they said a day was 365 days and 6 hours but a day is actually 365 days 5 hours

48 minutes and 46 seconds but who's they my brother just said something this weekend he's like they are the smartest people I've ever met they are the dumbest people who's they? My brother just said something this weekend. He's like, they are the smartest people I've ever, never. Yeah. I've never met. It's always, well, they are, they are the dumbest people. It's one or the other.

Yeah. Or who's they? You're like, well, they, they know who they are. They somebody. And they are a problem. In this case, it was the guys Julius Caesar hired to do it. So it was off a little bit. You hire calendar people.

Like, do you get, get i mean is there a calendar company that you just call and it's astronomers oh yeah they get work i think astronomer astronomer astronomer i thought astronomer was the thing in your car they tell you how fast you're going what's the astronomer show yeah that's uh i got an astronomer that's what he brought he brought an astronomer he goes all right tell me how fast he's like i don't do that you're like well i don't what do you do then he's like i do like star stuff you go all right well i'd like to do a calendar too you know so might as well have you do that i was bringing you in for something else completely but yeah sure let's mess with the calendar.

This dead period is ridiculous. So he was slightly off by 12 minutes, which over time started causing a problem because he put in a leap year every four years. I learned this. A leap year is not actually every four years. Occasionally, we have to skip it. Really?

Yeah. There's actually a mathematic equation to determine what a leap year is. Leap years fall. They've got to be divisible by four unless the year is also divisible by 100. And if the year is divisible by 400, you keep it. Wow. That's ridiculous.

The last time. Well, I liked it. First, he was off, too. It's like, we're going to be off about 12 minutes. 12 minutes is not that bad. You go... Not now, it's not that bad. I agree.

But, I mean, in a thousand years, it's going to be a problem. That's exactly what happened. I think I just lost my... Yeah. You're back. Okay. I can't hear myself, but that's okay. So, over time, it became a problem so by the

year 1582 when pope gregory was running the catholic church we're off by 10 days so the seasons greg isn't pope's name's usually a little more popey gregory is yeah that's popey for sure. Pope Greg? I don't think he went by Greg. I think he went by his holiness, probably. I think if you named him Greg growing up, you were like, well, he's never going to be a pope. So might as well name him Greg. So you change your name when you become pope. Huh? You do?

When you become pope, you take on a papal name. They took on Gregory? Yeah. I don't know if that's how they were doing it back then but like uh i would love to know his regular name yeah what if it was better yeah like pope benedict was the last pope his name was joseph i mean both of those are better than gregory yeah benny you think gregory sounds like a good pope name it sounds i think so i think it sounds uh regal kind of uh it feels like i feel like you would see him out a lot.

That's what it sounds like. That's Pope Gregory over there. That's just Greg. What's he doing? He's throwing darts. Pope Gregory's out there playing darts every night. That's what I think. I think Pope Gregory would be a problem.

It's like, golly, dude, he's out. Where were you at last night? He shows up. Sun's coming up. What are you doing? People just call him Greg. And, dude, he's out. Where were you at last night? He shows up. Sun's coming up. What are you doing? People just call him Greg. And he goes, I'm Pope. Pope Gregor.

Pope Greg. That's so funny. I've never heard that. Shortening it. By 1582, Easter wasn't even following when it's supposed to. So Pope Gregor was like, we got to fix this. So his guy figured out this new equation. Did he drink coffee because he had a wild night?

What is it? He's just in November? That doesn't make sense. Something's off. What's off? He's like, well, it's two in the afternoon, Pope Gregory. This is the first we've got a hold of you. Where'd you go last night, buddy's just went out yeah it's an applebee's down the street that's where i think you would see pope gregory yeah

just that leaves the vatican goes to like downtown oh leaves the vatican yeah you know the hard rock cafe in rome yeah just yeah eggs out there yeah You know, they got a Bruce Willis poster in there? I don't know. Well, anyway, Pope Gregory's got figured out we don't need a leap year every time. Yeah. So last time it was skipped was the year 1900. The next time it's going to be skipped is the year 2100. And that keeps us back on pattern so we don't get ahead of ourselves.

But we're still off by 26 seconds, even now. So we're losing time here by the year 4909 well the gregorian calendar will be a full day ahead than it's supposed to be and i mean there's a point does it even matter that's what i'm wondering why was there so much concern about keeping it as accurate as because and July. The seasons and Easter. You're saying another 2,700 years? We're not worried about it. We're only off by 26 seconds now, so we've got

plenty of time. That's because we took all of these other steps. We'd be off way off if we hadn't done this. It'd be warm right now. Yeah, it would. We. It'd be warm right now. Yeah, it would. Right now, we'd be dead of summer right now because these buffoons. That's what we would say.

Yeah. All right. So then the Gregorian calendar became the new thing. But some Protestants view the Gregorian calendar as a Catholic plot. I'm one of those, by the way. If Aaron calls me and says the show Sunday, I always double check just to make sure because Gregorian calendar. You know what I mean?

No, I didn't follow along any of that. Well, a Catholic plot? So countries that weren't Catholic were like, we're not doing this. We're not going to fall for this Catholic nonsense. So countries held out. England held out until 1752. And then when they finally changed over, the citizens got mad because the counter went from september 2nd to september 14th

and rioters said give us back our 11 days they just took 11 days from them so they just it was like september 2nd they go by the way everybody that's imagine that yeah daylight savings daylight savings hey everybody remember to turn your clock back or forward. They tell everybody that on the news. Can you imagine on the news? Hey, guys, quick heads up. Remember that thing you got to do September 14th? Well, it's tomorrow.

And move your calendar up 11 days. Wow. 11 days. 11 days. I mean, that's a big leap. There weren't Protestants for another 1500 years though When this calendar came out

No they were Protestants When was Martin Luther doing his thing 1500 But Pope Gregory Was this like a college debate right here This is 1582 when Pope Gregory did this Oh am I looking at the wrong Gregory This is Pope Gregory the 8th Oh I'm looking at Pope Gregory the 7th Oh, am I looking at the wrong Gregory? This is Pope Gregory VIII.

Oh, I'm looking at Pope Gregory VII. Oh, gosh. We got an amateur over here. There's a bunch of them. I know. Yeah. We should call him Greg. VII. He didn't do anything.

Okay. Yeah. We got Pope Gregory VIII. How many Pope Gregories were there? I mean, eight at least. That's a popular name. I feel like I'm sitting in the wrong college class. That's what I would go, what is this class called again?

You're like, oh, we debate nonsense. It took some countries so long to switch over that in 1908, the Russians missed the first 12 days of the Olympics because they were still using the old calendar. Didn't set their alarm clock. Didn't imagine, but their calendar clock. They go, nah, we're fine. You sure? Because if something feels off, then he goes, no, we'll be there.

We will be there. Imagine them showing up to that, the Olympics, 12 days off. How long is the Olympics? Back then, I think it went for months. Okay. It's ridiculous. I mean, well, because you had to travel by boat and stuff. long as the olympics back then i think it went for months okay it's a ridiculous i mean well because you had to travel by boat and stuff like i mean it was just i think they just combined it

all into one the fact that they even kept trying to do it it was like it just never ended no one could watch it yeah i mean how are you like are we even doing the olympics yeah you get a newspaper who won ah the americans won when was the race six years ago just got the newspaper just found out yeah i was thinking about joining the olympics we should have already started going there when you were eight you should start traveling to the olympic site four years before you start training for the olympics just start walking there if someone walks in he goes i think i'll be the olympics we'll go get a boat ticket right now Start heading because you're not going to make it. Boat ticket.

Go get a boat ticket and you're going to probably be late. And who knows when it's going to start because we've got about 15 calendars going on throughout the world. But could you imagine training for four years and you show up and they're like, it was last Tuesday. Why? What happened? Oh, wrong calendar.

I mean, that's crazy. How many calendars? Yeah. Thankfully it was Russia, right? Yeah, it was Russia. And not a good place. There's a lot of people in Russia listening. I don't think so. They got to do some of the Olympics. I think we're on

Russia's regular TV channels. From what I understand, we are on the CBS of Russia. We're Russia's Tonight Show. From what I understand, we are on the CBS of Russia. We're Russia's Tonight Show. From what I get, the information I get handed to me, we are in syndication on Russian television. My bad. Russia's awesome, man.

Nothing bad ever happens there. That's fair. That's fair. Some churches, Orthodox churches, still don there. That's fair. That's fair. Some churches, Orthodox churches, still don't use today's calendar. Orthodox churches, like if you're Latvian Orthodox,

if you convert, Nate, you're Latvian Orthodox. Yeah, I will. Your Christmas, that's a George Costanza. Yeah. Remember George? Oh, yeah.

Christmas. A couple little. Christmas Day is January 7th, so Orthodox churches are celebrating Christmas this week Oh, Merry Christmas That sounded sincere Well, it is Merry Christmas to them

I mean, they gotta go School starts back up Are they not in the regular schools? They are, I guess they just I don't know what they do That's a good question. That's actually, I don't know.

Maybe they take their kids out of school. They still really might not believe in school. In Russia? No, I'm talking about Orthodox churches. Yeah. Even here. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of Orthodox in Russia. Yeah. There's a lot of different types of Orthodox, Greek Orthodox, things like that, but they celebrate some of the holidays different. China, orthodox in russia yeah um there's a lot of different types of orthodox greek orthodox things like that but they celebrate some of the holidays different uh china has their own calendar china calendar they go by animals so they don't go by years so this is the year of the ox oh it's

a fun year yeah the year of the ox so they they just say... So it's not 2021. They go by our calendar, the Gregorian calendar. Do they write ox on all their checks? Do they write 1225 ox? Is that what they... And then they go One Four Snake Gosh That was

Give me another check What is it Ox? Do you write it or draw it? Do I gotta draw it? That could be a big prop The counter Dead gummit Still writing snakes On all my checks What was last year? The counter. Dead gummit.

Still writing snakes on all my checks. What was last year? You know what last year was? I don't. I thought you said snake. I made that up. I don't know what 2020 was. Rabbit. It was a rat.

A rat. The year of the rat. That says 2010, though, right? Oh, that is 2020. You're right. You're right. The year of the rat so they're still putting rat on all their checks right now a lot of people still are year of the

rat it's a good year oh and the year of the ox actually still the year of the rat until february 11th oh yeah their new year is february 12th so so a metal rat year well this is okay year of the ox will follow oh yeah 2021 a year so how many so they have what's that so they just keep going around they have 12 animals that they cycle through yeah yeah they keep sight yeah so it's not like they have to that kind of looks like that graph we looked at last week dragon rabbit pig, dog, rooster, monkey, goat. Snake, there is a year of the snake. 2025. 2025.

It's going to be the year of the snake. So it's more ceremonial than everyday use. They don't write that on their chest. Very funny to think about that. That would be so wonderful. January 5th, rooster. What's today's animal? That's a 25-ounce. Today's a penguin.

Okay. So October 11th, penguin. Ah, it mellowed it off. Oh, man. In Afghanistan and Iran, it's currently the year 1399 oh because they just they're just like we're doing our own thing yeah so our calendar started uh current one started when with the birth of christ and there started with Prophet Muhammad made his journey from Mecca to Medina in year 622 man

13 like so if you go like that's crazy it's just 13 what is it 1399 so next year is 1400 for them that's a big year 1400's dude that's a big even one I bet they're doing all the, like what we did in 1999, 2000.

They're going to discover America pretty soon. Well, we were all scared of 1999, 2000. Oh, yeah. The millennium. They got 600 years to get ready for the Y2K. Oh, man. We should give them a heads up that it's not that crazy. Yeah.

Just go ahead and start. Yeah, $1,399. They're not even on. It's funny that you would think that at least they'd be at the same number of us. Like, $1,999. They're going to be $1,400 next year, and we're 2021. There's no rhyme or reason to it. Yeah.

I mean, there is. So, like, legal documents? Like, that's the legal year I think so I think so interesting I think they really

go by I don't know how many legal documents they have but in Ethiopia it's the year that's why you don't date any of them because they're so old

I feel no because they're old because they're I mean date of birth you got to meet

you introduce them to your parents. When were you born? 1384. Oh, God. She's like, oh, my God. You look unbelievable. I'll be honest with you. You look great. Wow.

That just means someone right now. I mean can you drink here yet I don't know were you born in 1360 if you were not born before 1360 you're like I mean my daughter can drink over there

or maybe she can't no she's from the future yeah she knows some stuff in Ethiopia right now it's the year 2013. Because they calculated their calendar differently when Christ was born. They have him being born in the year 7 BC by our calendar center. So they're eight years behind us.

He was actually born in like 4 BC, right? Yes. Now, did that come from it? Was that a miscalculation as well, or was it? That was. So that came from it? Was that a miscalculation as well, or was it? That was. So that came from a monk, a 6th century monk said, hey, we should start the calendar on when Jesus was born. One guy said that.

He's the one that came up with it, I think so, yeah. One guy. Everybody's affected by it, and just one guy just walks in. A 6th century monk. Hey, I was out with pope gregory last night and he said i could say that he goes and pope gregory's like tell him you tell him i'll go ahead and say it and he goes all right i'll say it a sixth century monk known as dennis the small dennis uh dennis is a very funny comedy thing i've always loved the name dennis

he came up with the ad system but he miscalculated Christ's birth. So what he said was the year 1 AD, probably Christ was born between 6 to 4 BC. So he was a little off. And they left out zero. There is no zero. It goes from 1 BC to 1 AD. So that's why Newman's Pneumonium Party was off. Should have started.

It was off. Yeah. Because there was no year zero. Yeah, because they didn't. Why didn't they do zero? Because no one wanted to say zero that whole year. I don't think they just. It wasn't in their number system, the concept of nothing.

Oh, interesting. Yeah. So they wrote calendars. Were they going one, one, one? I don't know how many checks they were writing back then. They had to write a date. They didn't write a date. They wouldn't write a date on anything. I don't know if people checks they were writing back then. They had to write a date. They didn't write a date? They wouldn't write a date on anything?

I don't know if people were even writing, I guess. Were they writing? Yeah. Were you paying for stuff? You were trading. Like, oh, it was all barter? They had money back then. They had gold coins.

Yeah, I don't know if they had dates on them. And you don't put, like, when there was a contract? Yeah, there probably was. Yeah, there was a contract. You had to put a date on the contract yeah they write one one one one two one yeah 12 21 you know yeah you don't think that was two two two and they got all real excited oh that's what happened again ever well when was this when did they decide to start counting this is like 500 years yeah the year 525 okay

so who knows what they were doing at the actual time 180 i mean negative one i would say then they were were they doing calendars then like i mean one you go from 1 ad to 1 bc you know you're you're this the system's running about the same. It's not like there's cars the next year. So a guy that's 20 years old at 1 AD is 21 at 1 BC.

What's he doing? You know? That's actually a pretty good point. That's fair. That's what I would love to talk to about a maybe a 34 year old i'd like to talk to someone that was 33 than 34 oh yeah when it switched from bc to ad yeah yeah i don't need too much you know him getting some tiring about how he's probably mad the calendar change you get too old you get a guy that's 60 he's like

this is ridiculous that we're even doing this yeah he can't even think back you know too young doesn't care he's about a maybe 40 year old yeah that goes what's your opinion on it he's like well i'll tell you he just wants somebody like you your age yeah just there yeah my age it goes you just want to talk to the you of yeah that time pretty much yeah i try to figure out what they were calling the years before this monk came up with this because this was the year 525 he's like he said basically let's start doing this system so i don't know what year it was before you know i'm you understand yeah yeah for sure yeah maybe they weren't making big calendar announcements yeah you know like it wasn't it wasn't a big deal you know the newspaper came out and it's like today's yeah today's this day today's but they were they were just like many

moons ago yeah that's all that's yeah there's a lot of that when were you born 100 suns ago and you're like all right what how old is he 16 moons old and you're like oh wow he's a little baby uh 52 moons yeah so maybe they do by moons it's weird to think about there might not have been a reason to keep track of time that precisely up until then you know yeah not a lot going on it takes a long time to get a letter you don't want to know how long it takes you know if you have time then you're going to know god that is slow it's just the post office is like listen we don't need to keep track we don't even worry about it when did it get here felt like he got here pretty quick i felt like i didn't send it that long ago and they go you know what it is quick in the grand scheme of things in the grand scheme of things if you

don't know if there's not a number being thrown at you that goes this is taking a long time yeah you don't know i sent you that letter and you're like, I got here fast. And then once you start throwing time, man, we started getting like speed stuff up. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Mayans, the Mayans had a calendar that went from the year 31, 14 BC to December 21st, 2012.

And that's as far as it went. So many people thought the world was going to, I shouldn't say many, some people thought the world was going to end in 2012 i did and i'm a big fan of the mayans though i love what they do uh yeah the i remember the mayans calendar like everybody i remember people talking about the mayans yeah uh but they just you know got tired yeah 2012 they go you get it they should have wrote etc yep That's what they should have wrote. 2012, et cetera, I can't keep. Did they just stop?

Were they like, listen, we're enough in advance. We don't need to do another year. Yeah, can you imagine if you started 34 BC, then you got it right? You would eventually go, all right. My hand's killing me. If you have a hand, you're eventually go, all right. My hand's killing me. We're not even going to be – if you have a hand, you're probably just having to chip it away. Chisel's killing me.

You know how many times I've hit my thumb? No. Year 100, 200 was brutal. Run out of rocks. Yeah. And they should have just said, they know it keeps going. By the time we get to 2012 they're going to be like they're probably going to have somebody else will have kept going you know yeah nobody

stepped up no one stepped up yeah yep so um now people are trying to change bc and ad um you guys know bc and ad but uh people don like it because it's based on Jesus' life, so they're trying to change it now. They want to call BCE before Common Era, and AD, change it to CE, Common Era. I've seen that before. Common Era? What does that mean?

It just means the era that we're in now. BCE, they call that pre-modern times, I guess. Yeah. But I mean, we didn't make up the BC. They made up the BC, right? Well. Yeah. Catholic monks.

Catholic, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But now like just modern day historians. If their time caught on, then they should just be like, then we just call it that. They won. And it's been doing pretty good for 2,000 years, but. So why would you all of a sudden be like, well, we don't want it? You know, you're like, well, because they won and it's been doing pretty good for 2 000 years but so why would you all of a sudden

be like well we don't want you know you're like well because they they won well this one scientist come up bc talk is even going on in people's lives that they're so upset about and then they just go before commenting like if you're going to change it change it don't just write off bc be like change it like to complete you know all right i got one right here yeah the scientists and historians come up with the human era calendar and it's begins 12 000 years ago so this would be the year 12 021 he had 10 000 years to the current calendar because he says all of humanity is basically been during the last 12,000 years. So he wants this to start from when hunter gatherer lifestyle went to fix settlements.

I guess. And that guy could be solving cancer and he's being a nightmare. We should be 12,000. So that's what we're going to do, man. We're going to go change all the counters and be, we got to tweet everybody out to say, Hey everybody,

start writing 12,000021 on your checks. Do you know how gigantic numbers that is? I'm glad that I'm at the time that I'm at. I don't want to be in that 10,000, 11,000. What are you going to write then? The line, the dateline is going to have to become gigantic. I was born in 21. 21 when 10,021 oh god imagine talking to those people if you were born in 9085 and you gotta talk to i was born in

10,021 here we go here we go have you a check? I have before, yeah. Yeah, rent checks and stuff like that. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've never, at a store, I've never written a check or anything. So I'm guessing you still write them? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He still. I mean, I have, yeah.

I still have a checkbook. I'll say that. Yeah. Occasionally. That's all he'll say. Don't read it. Don't ask any more questions. Because he's not going to talk about all that stuff. He'll hold a gun to my head. Yeah. He'll hold. That's all he'll say. Don't read into, don't ask any more questions. Cause that's,

he's not going to talk about all that stuff. He'll hold a gun to my head. Yeah. He'll hold a gun to my head. Who's holding these guns in these people's hands? Did I talk about that joke? That was the joke

I always would try to do on stage. I've heard you do that joke. Yeah. Yeah. I've tried it like once or twice. Have I talked about it on this? I don't think you have. The idea of just the saying,

if you, gun to your head, you think you can do this? Like who's holding these guns in these people's heads for no reason? It's, you know, it's weird. It was always like, can you have a gun to your head, you think you can do this? Like, who's holding these guns to these people's heads for no reason? It's, you know, it was always like, can you name the starting lineup for the Kansas City Royals? With a gun to my head, you're like, who?

What kind of friend do you have that's got a gun to your head going, name the shortstop of the 1989 Kansas City Royals? Name them. And you're like, ah. Who's that into sports? Maybe we'll try it again. Bring it back. Kansas City Royals.

Yeah. Try it tonight. That's a good example. Yeah. A Frank Costanza type guy came up with his own calendar. The International Fixed Calendar has 13 months. There's some random days just thrown in there, not attached.

No Mondays. Cause no one likes Monday. Right. And Easter always falls the same day. Christmas would always be on a Wednesday. So George Eastman of the Kodak company or the Eastman Kodak, he's the only guy that really never heard of it. What is it?

Eastman Kodak. No, you've heard the Kodak photography company though. Oh yeah. What is it? Eastman Kodak? No. You've heard of Kodak Photography Company, though. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. George Eastman, the guy who ran the company, he made them use this... His name got left off of that Kodak. Eastman.

Yeah. No one knows. Does anybody know about Eastman? I thought it used to be called Eastman Kodak. Is it not? That's not... I've only ever known of this Kodak. Kodak.

Okay. Eastman got the raw deal. That's... He got pushed out. What's those old airlines that they used to – There's some old airlines. My wife's dad would always mention some airline. And it's like Southeast Airs.

It's something that you're like, I've never – And he's like, I flew it all the time. It was like a main airline. It just went away? Yeah, it just goes away. I mean, what was the – Golly, there was one on Continental. Yeah. Remember that?

I've heard of it, yeah. Yeah, Continental. I used to fly Continental, and they switched to United, and then they're all gone. Oh, United is Continental? Yeah. Yeah, they combined them. Oh, they combined them.

It didn't just change names. I was like Continental was the first airline that I actually had some status on because I was starting to fly a lot. And I would fly them a lot. And then United was joining. And then they're joining them. And then they kind of weaned me off of them. And then it's just all United.

My bank is changing names. SunTrust is changing to like Truist or something. Yeah. And they keep sliding it in. It's a very slow rollout. First, I just noticed it. Like, what is that written on the bottom of the website and it's getting bigger and bigger and they're trying to implement i think it was uh union planners yeah i remember union planners yeah oh yeah yeah that's

old school yeah yeah but i think the brave stadium is gonna have to change names to truest park truest park i think it's truest something like that uh but the reason Eastman probably didn't get mentioned is because he tried this dumb calendar idea. He was the only one doing it. That's why. That's the great definition of what it is. From 1928 to 1989, he used this international fixed calendar at his company, and he was like the only one that kept doing it.

Nobody else would try it. He even opened an office for headquarters for the International Fixed Calendar League, but it just never took off. Cause of death, suicide by gunshot. Yeah, well, don't start a calendar. Is that true? Yeah, that's what it says in Wikipedia. Got ridiculed.

I mean, I mean, the code, I mean, look, I'm sorry that he died that way uh but he looked like he had you know two friends work my work is done while wait oh in his final two years he was uh an intense pain caused by a disorder affecting his spine so he was in a ton of pain that's why he did it uh but why he would not be listed with the kodak you've never heard of that is because that shows you if you got something going that's good as they did eastman and kodak they got a good thing going and he goes i kind of want to do this calendar

that's like someone that gets too rich yeah there they go and too much power i'm going i have no idea by the way any of this is true. But this is just what I'm imagining. So if you're listening to this and you're part of the Eastman family, you might be like, that's not true at all. And you could be right. And I bet the Kodak family loves hearing it, to be honest. But that shows you right there that that hurts you.

Like, I would imagine that someone that gets so much power, and they get so crazy, they go, you know what? I'm going to start my own counter. And then Kodak's like, you can't. That's going to just do the camera stuff, dude. That's what we're doing. That's what we're really good at. You're not good at a calendar thing.

Just because you're rich doesn't mean you're smart. And then he goes, tries to do a new calendar, and look, name's off of it. I've never bought Eastman and Kodak film. Yeah. Never. Never seen it. This was like his Festivus, and he thought it was going to take eastman and kodak film yeah never this is like this was like his festivus and he thought it was going to take off and it didn't couldn't keep it quiet try to get it

try to make them start using it yeah all the support yeah like force the company to use it it's like one thing if you're doing it on your own like hey i made this new calendar and you're like but you start making everybody doing something like that and now your name's off no one knows who you are going to the doctor for that spinal injury. He's filling out all the paperwork, and he's like, it's the… Oh, yeah. He needs you to come back in two weeks. Oh, sorry.

And he needs you to come back in seven Wednesdays from now. He just uses Wednesday. His calendar says that there's no longer a July 4th. Independence Day will now be Sol 16. Sol is a month that he added. He created. This is a 13th month calendar. I mean, come on, man. You can't tell me that plays into

why his name is not on. He's like a guy that came so rich and famous. I don't know if they were famous, but you just got a lot of money. Back then, then too he was born you know 1917 like all that stuff so he's this dude's got just he's just gigantic wealth and he's he was the equivalent of a billionaire now but he was worth 85 million when he died in 1930 yeah and then his name's off just Just use Kodak Films. I mean, that's his name's off.

Yeah, I bet Kodak is like, listen, he was important, but he was a nightmare. Nightmare. Nightmare. He always had these big ideas. Oh, God. Let's do a 13-month calendar. You don't even know. You don't even know what I had to deal with.

Yeah. It's, yeah. But don't you think some of these brilliant- You guys wonder why our shipping was off you know you ever you ever said i don't use kodak i don't know this stuff takes forever to get to you oh let me tell you why because it's dated sold 92 yeah and no one knows what that is because we're off on soul month and that's when you asked for it but that's the month we have to be off we're closed um the

soviet union tried that their own calendar where you each get a day like your day is blue day and your day is green day stuff like that and and it just didn't work like people were working different hours and it there's been a lot of crazy like your day is blue day like uh they would assign families they thought it would pick up productivity did a five-day week yeah lot of crazy like your day is blue day like uh they would assign families they thought it would pick up productivity did a five-day week yeah and they're like your day's blue so those are the days you work and then your day's green so if you so you just looked at the calendar and if it was blue you gotta go to work that's like you know hit nail wall like that's just like caveman. When your day, when you see the color yellow, eat your food. They didn't want people celebrating.

It was partially to get rid of Christianity because they didn't want people taking a day off on the weekend to worship. Yeah. Just come up with a better. I know. But we try to keep getting off the system, and then it all kind it all kind of comes back it does well we got a pretty good thing going uh some guy came up with an invention called the positivist calendar every day every day is 20 every month 28 days there's a standalone day at the end of the year for the dead donna the dead and every leap year they have an extra day dedicated to women women's day each day will be named after

a historic person it didn't take off either yeah so what's so you have women's day and then every one day of every month is a day for the dad no it's a standalone monthless day at the end of every year. So one day a year, it's dedicated to the dad. I mean, but that's like, are people working that day? Or do you have to do stuff that day?

Like, that's the, I think these people, when they make these new counters, they don't go in, so what do you do on that day? It's like, well, we all stay at home and you stand at, you stare at the ground.

You know, like, I don't, you know, it's like, they don't think, all right, but everybody's got to live a regular life like they don't introduce holiday right holidays would be is the idea that these people think of you know what's interesting is there's a lot of these old older kind of revisions it's like they don't care about cooperating with the rest of the world right it's like clearly we need to all be working on the same. We need to all agree on what day and time it is

to do any kind of international commerce. But I guess if this is the 500s or whatever, you don't have to worry about that at all. It's the Catholic over here. We'll stick with the Gregory calendar. Can you imagine? I mean, in Afghanistan, they invented phones in 1384. They're killing it.

I mean, they're a little bit better than us. And in the grand scheme of things, when people look back on it, we are going to look like just zoo animals compared to these other countries that are like, so in 1200, they had the same technology as they did in 2000? How stupid were they? So they might actually be onto something unbelievable. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah.

You're not so smart now, are you? This George Eastman idea, I mean, Christmas was a different day. It was... Every time it would be. It would just be the Wednesday. Yeah, it was on a Wednesday, so you couldn't celebrate with the rest of... If you worked there...

How do you even present something like this? Like, where do you go? Where do you go where where do you where you go he's got a he probably runs it by his wife first right i mean you throw the idea out yeah you just and then you start doing it then i guess you can start with your company but i mean how do you get it how do you if i want to start a new calendar right now yeah where i mean this is how it starts. We want to do just our own calendar. Yep.

I don't know what. The Nathan. I mean, I'm kind of good with everything that's going on right now. You know what I would change? What? A new day starts at midnight, and I always thought it should start like around sunrise. So I would change the new day. 5 a.m.?

Yeah, something like that. But sunrise is different times. I know it varies, but it's, I don't know. It's just always been weird to meises different i know it varies but it's i don't know it's just always been weird to me the middle of the night it changes to a new day because it still feels like the first day yeah yeah because if you're like i was out partying last night till 3 a.m you don't say you just kind of count it as that that previous like it's like 1 a.m would be like well it's technically tomorrow so you want to get rid of like technically tomorrow yeah but i think you got to pick a time well i would say 5 a.m 5 a.m 6 a.m would be like well it's technically tomorrow so you want to get rid of like technically tomorrow yeah but i think you got to pick a time well i would say 5 a.m pick it at 5 a.m 6 a.m something

like that yeah yeah 6 a.m is too i could get on board with that that wouldn't change much maybe we should just start doing it yeah maybe we'll start one i don't know you're not on board with this what would you see like 2 a.m 3 i don't know midnight it starts over the next it's technically part of the next morning. That's what we're saying. We're saying, but it's just. But it's like when you wake up, doesn't it be like, well, now you start on the first part of the day.

Yeah, well, that started when people were going to bed at like 5 p.m. because you had to do everything by candlelight. It's like, dude, we're basically nocturnal animals now. You know? You were just talking about your daughter stays up until 2 or 3 in the morning. She did once. She doesn't know me like lunatic parents that are like we let her go to bed when she tells us to go to bed she tells us to go to bed and then we stay we go to bed and she stays up she gives us a bedtime yeah that's how it works yeah they're uh what would you change

i don't know i think i would would say I would say I like everything. I would say I would like to change it. They go, great. I go, what do you want to do? I go, I think it's pretty good, actually. And let's keep it the same. And then people would cheer. I would change daylight savings.

That would be done. Keep it. I would just do that. You'd get rid of it? Yeah, get rid of it. No, keep it. Oh, keep it. Yeah, whatever you do to make it a better one.

Yeah. Not have to worry about it. Don't worry about it. Okay. That's what I was in the press conferences. So you want to keep it a better one. Yeah. Not have to worry about it. Don't worry about it. Yeah, okay. That's what I was in the press conferences. So you want to keep it or say, I go, whatever makes it not a problem. Yeah. We'll do that way.

Yeah, yeah. No one ever knows what's going on anyway. Yeah. But that's the way we're going to do it. Yeah. And then I don't know what else you would change. Go ahead. I'd make the season start on the first days of

months stop worrying about the summer solstice and all that so winter starts january 1st or maybe december a lot of problems with these calendar y'all got it y'all are real upset i just i just i would be like to be able to know when stuff is it It's March 21st, right? Is the first day of spring season. Is it always the March 21st? I think so, yeah. Oh. All right. But if you want it March 1st. Yeah, I like it maybe April 1st.

So you can wrap that around your big dumb head. So we know that this... Because you can't... I'd like to know this whole month is this season. Yeah. Right? Instead of going, okay. When's fall?

September 21st, I think, is when it starts all right but you'd rather i thought it was all just i thought it was just this year it was that i didn't know it doesn't change all right you thought this year is what the oh you thought it changed every time yeah i thought it was just whatever the i didn't i didn't know the solstice feels like It feels like summer now. That's what people say. And then they just go to summer. We kind of do. Don't you?

You don't look at the calendar and say, if you're playing, because summer starts June 21st. If you're playing golf on June 6th, it's 90 degrees. I go, oh, it's springtime. You feel like you get summer earlier. I feel like you get it earlier.

You always go with the climate change guy yeah but you always get it earlier like you know it's you're never like today's the day yeah like in march sometimes you know yeah i would do groundhog day more serious i would take it more serious in my calendar yeah that's what i would do that would be official holiday and winter i would yeah i'd really give it a give it a go and really look at that groundhog, see what he has to say. Would we get a day off? Yeah, because I'd want his opinion on things. So it would be not just a funny holiday. It would be something we'd take seriously. Would you add a week on to February, or would you just...

And make the, instead of it being 28... Yeah, if it sees a shadow, we're going to make February 2. Or would that complicate it? It can't be. That's complicated. I think you work in the boundaries that you have. Okay. I would change Easter to be the same day every year.

Yeah. That would be nice. I could see that. I looked up what... I didn't even know how Easter fell. The rule of Easter is the Sunday after the full moon that is next after the March equinox on the Gregorian calendar. So obviously, that's the place where it makes the most sense to put it.

I feel like at first they said the full moon and they go, okay. And then they tried that and they go, oh, no, it's actually, that's a guy that keeps, no, no, full moon after. He keeps, the full moon part, you're like, okay, I guess that's fine. And then it didn't work out once. And then he's like well af okay okay listen listen yeah i remember one time easter being like at the end of february so i mean it's crazy if the well i think i just read that's impossible didn't i after the march

equinox yeah yeah but it does really March. I remember it being insanely early. Yeah. It can range from late March to all the way through April. Okay. But you remember in February. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now I don't think I do.

Maybe you're Orthodox. I remember, because I used to come during. What year do you think this is? Well, he still has to raise Christmas on December 6th. 5,000. Yeah. I go by the Jewish calendar. Yeah.

5,287. I just remember it conflicting with... We were always playing baseball growing up right around Easter time. I remember it always falling during Holy Week and all that stuff. We'd be playing games. I remember it came super early one year.

I would have bet a lot of money that it was February. I think that was Toyotathon again. Yeah. I think you're again confusing Toyotathon. You guys love Toyotathon. You guys celebrate that more than you let on, don't you? We had a Toyota minivan with the one-to-one sliding door.

Yeah. And it was actually at a baseball game in the parking lot. My older brother, that door just slid right off the car into the parking lot we had the we had to bungee cable it to the car drive home with this door just hanging out yeah it was pretty embarrassing yeah is it y'all didn't y'all just leave with it open just leave the car door at the parking lot no like just throw it in the back of the van i guess i think we had room man we had six of us in there it was packed in there and we wanted to put the door back on so how do we did you get it back on i think they yeah we ended up

getting to put it back on for sure you could have been just a pretty awesome van it's like a jeep yeah just open air just open air yeah get out get out you can still do that with your minivan now you're good yeah um do you guys know how we came up with a week being seven days? I don't know why I keep asking this. Yeah, I do. Okay. I'd like to hear us continue to take stabs at it. Give it a stab.

So why we came? And I've read two to three different answers. I have two to three different ideas. Why we have seven days in a week? Yeah, like how did we come up with that? Just felt right, you know. Is it because of the moon? That's one of them.

Moon cycles? Yeah. Is it biblical at all? That's what I always heard growing up. God created the earth in six days, rest on the seventh day. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So that's why I always thought of it.

That's what I would have known. Yeah. Yeah. The moon has four main phases, so some people say per month. So some people say that's what a week was based on. Yeah. And the other thing I read, the Babylonians, they gave it the number seven for the weeks because there were seven objects they could see in the sky.

The sun, Sunday. The moon, Monday. Then some gods that didn't match up Mercury Venus Mars Jupiter and Saturday Saturn

no interesting so those were Tuesday was like well it's Tuesday like tops of those trees and you go

oh wow Tuesday treetop yeah Wednesday is wind you know wind it's always windy in there but you can't see wind but you know it's there Tree top Yeah Wednesday is wind You know Wind

It's always windy in there But you can't see wind But you know it's there Alright Alright I'll give it to you Wednesday I remember Thursday was Thor

They Oh okay That's where that came from They could see Thor I'm talking like constellations No They're Greek gods They're other gods

They named it after What was Friday Uh Thor's mom or something I mean I can't remember It was like Freyda Freya They're Greek gods. They're gods. They named it after. What was Friday? Thor's mom or something. I mean, I can't remember. It was like Freyda. Yeah. It was something like that.

Oh, okay. Yeah. That actually makes a ton of sense. Freyda. Friday. Yeah. I'll give them that one. I'll give them that. That actually, yeah.

Days are actually getting slightly longer because the Earth's rotation is slowing down. Atomic clocks show that the modern day is longer by 1.7 millisecond than it was a century ago. And it's creasing by 2.3 milliseconds every century. I feel it today. I'll be honest with you. Oh, what a day.

Some days I can feel it. Some days I can i can this is one of those days i can you know what i mean wow um do you want to segue into uh i mean i got more here but yeah we can segue into new year's resolutions if you want do a couple more what do we got all right i'll do one more here we got uh so the julian calendar, named after Julius Caesar, he was the first one to make it January 1st is the New Year day. But during the Middle Ages, which we've covered, we don't know much about, but during the Middle Ages, Christians that weren't Catholic, they got mad about it, and they're like, we ain't doing that.

So they started changing their own New Year. Did they say, we ain't doing that? Is that the actual? We ain't doing that. Hey, that's actual they say we ain't doing that the actual hey julius caesar let me i'd like a word with you we let me tell you something we ain't doing that the lutherans ain't doing that we ain't doing it we in the calvinists we ain't gonna do it where are you guys from lebanon tennessee And we ain't doing that. What county are you from? Wilson.

Wilson. And we ain't doing that. In the year 567, the Council of Tours, that's T-O-U-R-S, abolished January 1st as the beginning of the year. And it went, for a while it was December 25th. Then they changed it to March 1st. Then they changed it to March 25th. Then they changed it to March 25th. It's my birthday. March 25th?

Mm-hmm. Well, we covered a couple weeks on the Christmas episode. That's nine months before Christmas, and they think that's when the angel Gabriel came to Mary and said, you'll be with child. So nine months later, December 25th, is how we came up with Christmas. So there you go.

The Council of Tours right there. 567 or 461? There's two of them. Oh, 567. They did two tours. Anyway. They did two tours. Yeah.

Of Council. All right. So maybe I found that more interesting than you guys did. No, I liked it. I think it's good. I don't know. I mean. What do you think would happen if the earth just stopped

rotating it'd be bad quick yeah yeah real quick i mean you said we're going a thousand miles an hour so if we stopped at zero we'd die for sure we'd have whiplash for sure all over i mean yeah i'd say we fall over i mean my pin would start rolling like oh no i don't know if any buildings would stay up if everything put on the brakes all of a sudden? If it all just went stop. A quick stop or a slow down stop? A sudden stop. We'd all just die, right?

We'd all die for sure. I don't think we'd even know what happened. You wouldn't even see the room shaking. The inertia of going 1, thousand miles an hour and then just stopping yeah we'd all be dead sorry i brought that up i was just i've been thinking about that whole episode yeah talked about the earth spinning yeah it was like your insides would feel normal then it's just yeah it'd be it'd be ugly i don't think we'd ever know i don't think we just die instantly yeah i would hope so yeah i guess

you're right i'd rather die than live in a world i mean you might have to like you'll wake up and you know china's over here like in the you know like that map everything just flips goes with it well if it's nighttime it's going to stay nighttime that's true you're stuck with whatever time of day it is but hey if it's daytime you could play golf around the clock all day does this season stay the same you kind of stuck on one season not necessarily because the earth's still rotating the sun still going around this hypothetical scenario it's just no longer spinning on its axis so it's moving still it's still moving but just not spinning this might work out for you. Yeah. Maybe we should look into this. Maybe make it happen.

Just kind of brace yourself for impact. Maybe strap yourself. I'm starting to get Eastman a little bit more. You could be the George Eastman of our time. And I'm going to make everybody walk around with seatbelts. And they're going to go, why? Because I'm going to make the earth stop at one point. January 7th. And Superman earth stop at one point january

7th and superman did superman did that at one point right he made it he stopped it and sitting back the other way we went back so just don't do the last part just stop it well then you but then is everything going to reverse and then we all start walking around backwards everywhere you go you have, you have to walk backwards because you're going to reverse. Never know where you're going. Where are you going? I don't know.

But it already knows. Because you've already been there. So you would just always go, I'm just going where I'm going. And you can never tell someone to meet you somewhere because they go, but I would like to go.

Well, if you wanted to go, then you're going to be there. If you don't't then you go where you're going to go because we're already going somewhere and i have no choice it's the idea of your life's already planned out for you i mean you're walking back where are you going man i don't know but i'm going uh you'd be a lot of going like you wanna go eat later? we'll see I guess we'll see if I go eat later yeah I would love to go eat later

but it's not up to me and I would be jogging backwards as I say this me and two guys jogging backwards and I'm like I'm surprised I was jogging this much would you rather go backwards or forward in your life? I'd rather keep it how it is dude but would you are you going back in time or are you just go backwards or forward in your life i'd rather keep it how it is dude yeah but would you enjoy going are you going back in time or you're just walking backwards i think you're just retracing every step you've already taken so you'll know when you'll eat right and you're

not going to remember but you're going to say are we going to eat are you hungry like i'm starving right now so i hope i eat go eat yeah and then you're just along for i think you're along for the ride yeah i don't think you can ever ever. You probably remember that first meal when it first happens. Yeah. You'd be like, well, I'm not hungry right now. And you're like, and then you would get, I guess you would go from hungry to, you'd go from full to not hungry or to hunger. Yeah.

Backwards. Yeah. But if you ate at Applebee's six hours ago when, when the reverse, you'll remember in six hours, I'm back at Applebee's. I'd drop something when I was there. I'll just grab it. Pick it up. I'll pick it up.

And then you just, you know, because you. You know what? I lost my home. I left my wallet there. Oh, don't worry. I'll get it. I'll get it again. And you just start backing out.

That's how it would be. I read where there's a group of scientists studying right now why time always goes forward and never backwards. It seems like... Because you can only time travel forwards because of that, right? I mean, I can't get my head around even why you would have to think about that. I would think backwards would be tougher to do than forward because everything's got to go back. Everything's already existed. Forward is like nothing exists there so you could or ford is theoretically you if you travel this faster than the speed of light then you can speed up time

right you can jump ahead but you can never go backwards you can't go negative you know but i know what nate's saying going forward you're going to stuff that hasn't happened to us yet in theory going back yeah you go back do that if i could go back in time would i maybe not choose calendars maybe you know who knows that's what you do i think we know let's do something different than calendars you know i like this one i know i didn't mind it too that's fair yeah that's fair uh you want to get in some resolutions uh let's do a couple of those yep all right all right well do you set new year's resolutions uh i did and apparently didn't follow through because it was to stop this podcast. So I'm already out.

No. I'm going to. I'm going to try to eat better. This year is like I've been working out. I'm trying to get a lot better at golf. I practice a lot of golf, especially this downtime. So for me, mine's done comedy related. I mean, I'm hoping once comedy gets going, I plan on being back on the road.

But that's career stuff. I don't think it's really resolution. I'm just going to trust. I'm hoping that I'm going to write better material, tour a ton, and get better as a stand-up. And then I want to get really good at golf. I'm at like a four handicap. I'd love to get down to it. You are already really good.

I know, but I know how good good is. And so I know how far off i am and uh so i would love to get i want to get to a scratch at some point in my life would be great uh which is a ton of work and then i want to work out and i've got to eat better i know that because i i'm actually working out now and i'm not seeing uh i feel stronger and stuff's getting stronger but i don't see results and that's because i eat you know i've had krispy kreme twice since the krispy kreme challenge then you can't do that you can't do stuff like that yeah you can't do it as a joke and then basically eat the same amount again as a regular day you know uh so that's my yeah so it's not yeah i guess it's new year's you feel like i start here but i won't keep a

you know yeah journal or something do you i i gave up fast food this year i made it four hours into my trip home from wisconsin did you really weekend yeah and already i panera it was like is that really fast food it felt like a healthy yeah it's healthy i think if you go to panera it's way better i look at stuff it's like you go do if i just stopped eating like for me if i stopped eating fast food we would be off to a great start yeah because you just naturally can't you're not gonna eat as bad but yeah that's good yeah all right sorry to do it yeah all right i'll do it yeah because you know i don't i think panera if you can let that slide. Yeah. It says – the Pew Research Center says –

Did you do one? Yeah, did you do one? Yeah, I mean, I've definitely gained weight during the pandemic, so I'm hoping to get back from large to medium shirts. Oh, man. To be a large. To be a large shirt? Just to – the freedom, shopping.

Now, I don't have it with – I No, but I don't have it. I get it. I don't have it because there's my old joke. I want you to not be able to see my nipples through my shirt. And I have a big problem with that. So I would love to get that. I know my buddy Graham K., a comic from Canada. Still funny, but from Canada.

And I'm not joking. I just always like to. I text him every boxing day yeah yeah i tell you that yeah i love i text him happy boxing day it's always it's fun uh but graham's got a great body and i remember we went shopping once and i was like he can just put on stuff like you can put on a mannequin yeah where it's just you know it's just do this he's like i'll wear I'll wear that. I don't care. They don't care. I mean, you see kids, kids just wear,

they can wear whatever. Yeah. And it all just looks fine. And then the way ours drapes. Yeah. It's pretty interesting. Drapes off some weird spots. Um,

so the most popular resolutions, uh, number one, getting rid of debt. Number two, eating healthier. healthier number three exercising more number four losing weight so the three of the top four are all kind of the same thing but according to u.s news and world report the failure rate for new year's resolutions is said to be about 80 and most lose their break it by mid-february and research shows that on average it takes approximately 66 days for

a habit to become automatic wow 66 days that's you know depends on the counter you're using but that's yeah it should be four years to two months two and a half moon cycles i joined planet fitness the day after ralphie may died i joined Planet Fitness, and I have never been. And you have to go into Planet Fitness to cancel it. So I don't know if I'll ever cancel it. I've been paying $10 a month for three, four years. Is that typical, like y'all's New Year's resolution, one of other fat one of you dies, then you –

that's when you – is that like y'all's New Year's resolutions? I was working that night. My boss comes in. He goes, hey, I heard about that Ralphie May guy that died. I go, yes. Yeah, he's a really nice guy. He goes, kind of lets you know. Yeah.

Where I go, oh, my God. That's so, yeah. Yeah, because in my head, we're like two different worlds, right? And then I'm like, oh, man. So I got on, I joined Planet Fitness. I was like, I'm going going tomorrow and i've never been and i called when the pandemic started and i was like okay now you got to let me cancel over the phone yeah because i'm not allowed to be there and they're like we'll put a freeze on your account and then it'll start back up and we open back up and i'm like ah gosh still can't get

out because i just think if you got to come in to do it, you won't do it. Oh, that's their business model. If 100% of the people that subscribed and went there, there'd be no room. They're banking on a big percentage never going. And just keep paying.

I had one for a while and I canceled it. I think we, I forget why, maybe Laura did. Yeah. You get Laura to do it, she'll do it.

She'll go down there for me and cancel. That's my New Year's resolution is to cancel my gym. There's an episode of Friends where Chandler and Ross go down, do it together. They both get memberships. Oh, to cancel it?

Yeah. And what, it's the guy talks to him? There's a hot woman behind the counter and she talks them both in together. I don't think there's anybody like that at this Planet Fitness. You would go, but I never think you're not big like Ralphie was. Thank you. Yeah, that's what it is big like ralphie was so that's thank you yeah that's what i know that but but still that's that's what i was a lot younger than ralphie though that's true that's true you gotta get head started on him because ralphie i think

was a lot skinnier than you at your age so anyway uh from the stuff that i've read about yeah i think ralphie weighed about uh maybe auce, deuce and a half at 27. How old are you, Gary? I'm going to just do some math on here. No, you're just a big guy. If you worked out, you would be. I wouldn't look at you as like – I always say, I don't think if I saw you, I would never think of you as like, oh, this fat guy.

I would be like, you're just a big dude yeah big guys guys are big i guess my question was if you could cancel online it'd be 100 cancellation 100 cancellations oh they would do it all the time yeah the fact that you got to go in is it's i mean it's brilliant yeah it is brilliant it's like i kind of respect them for it how well it works you just got to go in and be like i want to just go in and you should go do it now and tell us what happens. Okay. I'll go in. Then you get this motivation. And you have to do it at the exact one that you – so I have to drive to Madison, Tennessee to that.

I'll do it. I'll do it this week. I love that you're canceling on January 4th. Yeah. Yeah. Are you coming in to sign up? This is a good time to cancel. Yeah.

Because everybody – they don't even need you right now. There's so many people signing up. Right. So they'd be happy to lose you. time to cancel because because everybody they're they're they don't even need you right now there's so many people signing up right so they'd be happy to lose you but you're gonna be standing in line with people signing up you're gonna get up there i want to cancel please this is the first day of the rest of my life and then you're gonna go up there and this is also still the first day of the rest of my life of just the opposite of not having this they're like well do you have your id card i'm like look this is as far as I've made it. So no, I don't have an ID card.

You never just want to go once. Just immediately, you're like, I'm good. Could you work out alone? I've driven past it. Do you know how to work out? Yeah, I did in high school for football and stuff. And I worked out a little bit. First couple years of college, I tried.

Well, you played football in college, right? Yeah, I played full pad intramural. So that kind of kept me in shape. It's a little loose saying that. You played football in college, right? You went to Notre Dame. Everybody's like, God, did he play at Notre Dame? I played football at Notre Dame, not for

Notre Dame. That's what I like to say. Yeah. My dad played full pad. My picture up there is where I'm under his leg and he's hiking the ball to me. yeah yeah y'all played my dad played full pad in college my picture up there with uh is my where i'm under his leg he's like hiking the ball to me oh yeah that was they went to javeca and they played full pad and one thing i remember from that was uh i mean i'm five years old and i would always go there and i'm wearing watching my dad play so i'm wearing all the football stuff

my little plastic football stuff and i'd play on the sideline and i remember this guy got hit in the face and he comes over his whole face was just covered in blood and i mean i remember just i'll never forget it i was five just like wow and he's just like i don't know it's just kind of wiping it off and i mean it's just pouring down his face and i remember i just staring at it traumatized yeah that was. Yeah. That was 1487. We had a different calendar back then. Our parents did a different calendar for a little for a couple. The Bargatze calendar.

Yeah. We had a Bargatze calendar for about two years and then our two, you know, whatever. I was trying to think. Five sunsets, I think. We kept it. We did. It counted one year as a sunset.

I don't know. All right. We're running out of stuff. We're good? Yeah. One final update on a previous story. I meant to mention this last week. The Balloon Boy parents got a pardon from the Colorado's governor.

Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. They were already out of jail, but now they're working records. Were they in jail? The dad had to go for a while, yeah. A while?

Like maybe 30 days or something wow yeah and his records expunged so so he's no longer a felon imagine telling the other guys in jail what are you in for i put my son in a balloon i told everybody i did my son in a balloon did you know my wife wouldn't let me just mad about it yeah i tried yeah my dumb wife wouldn't let me do it he's like i get it man what'd you do i killed my wife you're like oh that's you like oh all right uh can i plug a show no uh i yeah a week from today january 13th uh doing aaron weber and friends at zany's in nashville all right that could be a lot of fun zany's yeah go to zany's everybody january 13th yeah get your tickets uh limited seating so get your tickets while you can yeah because it's gonna be i bet it's already doing pretty good. I don't know. Maybe not. I hope so.

How's that mural doing? We got a new picture. And so I did a different picture. And so we sent it to them. And then so hopefully, we used a picture from a newest picture. Yeah. So hopefully that'll be up. I don't know.

So we'll see. Go watch the guest book. I don't know why is it the guest book I don't know why the work the mural all the works something go watch the guest book

about to come out on Hulu if you haven't seen it it's a great show Gregor I'll see ya as always thank you guys for listening we truly appreciate your comments

they're awesome and we love reading them every time make sure you do all the stuff what are you supposed to do do all the stuff you're supposed to do

and we can't thank you enough for listening we'll talk to you next week. See you. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment.

Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.