The Nateland Podcast - 282: #282 Boats featuring Connor Larsen

Episode Date: December 10, 2025

Brian is out sick again this week, but Connor Larsen joins the guys as they talk about boats. Aura Frames: https://on.auraframes.com/NATE Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/NATE.  Promo Code NATE Chime: Chime.com/NATE Chime is not just smarter banking, it is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to Chime.com/Nate. Factor: FactorMeals.com/nate50off Eat smart at FactorMeals.com/nate50off and use code nate50off to get 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for 1 year. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.  Betterhelp.com/NATE  This December, start a new tradition, by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% off at Betterhelp/com/NATE.

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Kia, movement that inspires. See Kia dealer for warranty details. Event ends 1-226. Okay, hello folks, and hey bear. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. My name's Dusty Slay. I'm hosting this week. And I got with me Aaron Weber, as always,

we're in this brown quarter of, shirt that I love so much. I didn't know it would be this much of a topic of conversation. I'm sorry I wore. I loved it so much. He wore it again. And our special guest host with us today, Connor Larson. Hey, everybody.

All right. Longtime friend of Dusty and I, of me and Dusty, and first time guests. That's true. On the Nate Land podcast, he's been on the road opening for Dusty all over. He's done some shows with me. He's a groomsman in my wedding. And we also do a show together on YouTube called Dusty and Connor react, although the name is always changing.

It seems pretty good. I don't have to ask what it's about. Exactly. That's what I like a descriptive name. I will say that. People still do. One person said we should call it the dust bin. Why?

I don't know. Well, your name's dusty. That's where the dust comes from. And they said Connor should change his name to Ben Laden. They really did. They did say that. I mean like Ben Larson? Ben Larson, oh.

Yeah, it's close, I guess. Yeah, Ben Larson. Ben Carson, he's a guy, too. Simi's twins. Yeah. But here we are. Exciting episode. We are pre-recording this.

So we don't have weekends to talk about. Why have one thing I want to talk about? Okay. Because I, you know, I'm, we were recording this after Thanksgiving. Yeah. We had our first ER trip with the baby. Oh, no. First, like, you know, you're a parent.

You don't know what's going on. You take your kid into this. You are. I've told it's very common. You take a kid in because you don't know. What happened was I'm feeding the baby. We're about to fly to Dallas for Thanksgiving. We got a lift picking us up at 10.30. AM or PM? Just for contact. 1030 a. Okay. So I go, all right, 945. Let me feed the baby and then we'll be ready to get picked up. All right. She finishes the meal. I take the tray off the high chair. The baby just leans for. four, like, lunges out of the high chair. Smacks on the kitchen tile floor, loud noise, and doesn't scream right away. It was one of those, like, you're building up to a scream.

So I grab her blood all in her mouth, chip bitter lip or something, blood all in her mouth. And you know, our baby doesn't scream, really. She doesn't cry or scream. So when she does, it's like, what is happening? She's screaming. Like, I've never, so I'm just freaking out. I'm like, the lift's coming in 30 minutes.

She's got blood all over. I have no idea what to do. So I'm just like trying to console her and she won't, she won't stop crying. And then here's the scary thing. She just passes out. Oh, no. Goes to sleep. And that's like, my instinct is, that's probably not good.

So I start like trying to like, I go, come on, wake up, won't wake up. The lifts coming in. We got a flight. I was like, we got to go to the ER. We took her to the ER. Doctor looked at her. Determined she was fine, basically. Thank God.

And then, dude, we got in and out of that Mount Juliet ER in time to make the flight. Wow. I remember having like, all right, well, Thanksgiving's canceled because we got to go to the E. Yeah. You have to cancel the flight, eat the flights. Airbnb, you're going to have to eat that. You're doing all that in your head. And the whole time, you're like, obviously, I hope to.

hope the baby's fine, but you're like the whole, the whole week. Anyway, it all worked out, but she's got just a nasty black eye right now. The baby does. It didn't come in for like a day or two, but I was carrying her around the airport. Connor has a joke about, you know, if your girlfriend has a black eye from boxing or something. You date a girl that's a boxer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He always talks about it. I don't want to do your whole joke. Yeah, but without context, people are going, what's his comedy about? But I, but I, but I, I'm just holding the baby with just a shiner on her the whole weekend. Yeah, you got to get her a big hat.

I mean, it was just a couple hours later she was back. Gosh. It's back to her form. But it's such a scary thing because you're like, you realize, I don't know, I had a boomer. I was like, there's no one around to tell me what to do right now. I mean, my wife and I just have to decide. It's so terrifying when they trip and fall and hit their head on a hard floor. And you're like, oh, no.

Yeah. But to fall out of the. the front of the high chair. Yeah, it's about two and a half, three feet up. It is. On to tile. Like, not carpet. So it just sounded bad.

And then it just looked all blood out. Yeah. But it's a slam dunk. Go get medical help, not fly. If you go on the flight and you go, I think she's fine. People are going to be like, don't. There you go. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Well, she's napping. You guys, she seems tired. She's been napping for three hours now. No problem. Yeah. So we got to. Are you getting a new high chair? Do you blame the, I would.

blame the design of the high chair a little bit. No, you know what happens? Forgot to strap her in. It's just the baby's more and more mobile now. But you get used to like, I got used to, I can take the tray off, turn my back real quick and she's not going to, now she's just, she's moving all over. I mean, I, it just makes me like, shiver because I'm like, I know those like, Sam was like, I have this patio chair where it has a little thing for your feet, but if you're a baby, you step inside of that to come to me. And then when he backed out, he tripped over it and fell and hit his head on the patio. And he's just screaming. And it's just like, and then for a while after that, we thought, he's not talking as well as he used to. And we were like, like, we were like,

he used to say this. And now he doesn't say it anymore. But he's fine. He's back. Yeah, but it's like, and you know it's going to happen. Like, it's like every, your parents have stories of like when you were a baby, you do this thing. So it's like you're just waiting for the day where you go, it's going to happen. They're going to do something. Right. And now I have that perspective now, but the first time that this happens, you don't want to, I thought, how dumb would, if we were like, she needed help and we were like, nah, she's probably fine. And we didn't go take, take her in or whatever. My parents have a great, I got an older brother. And my, my dad is like a very, kind of a nervous parent. My mom's like, if I hit my head, my mom's the one

dealing with it. But I guess my brother, when he's, like, I'm two, he's four, he threw me in a pool. And instead of getting me out of the pool, my dad got on one knee and goes, now, Tom, you don't throw your brother? And my mom's like, get the kid. Get the kid first. Order of operations. She also told me one time, I guess, I think one of us had like a seizure or something. And my mom, who was like, the one handling it, goes, I'm going to go around the side of the house because if your dad sees this, he's going to, he's going to melt down. And I go, what a great move to make yourself the meltdown parent. Yeah.

Where then you're not even involved. You go, I can't handle it. You don't have to deal with anything. Don't worry about it. I'll bring the kid back late. Like I think he's kind of a genius. Yeah. Oh, that's great.

Yeah, good move. I love that your dad's discipline first, then rescue. Very much. You've met my dad. He's always good intentions. Maybe the decision making on that one was off. His dad's a lawyer and has done a lot of accident cases or whatever. So he has a lot of.

warnings about every product. He's like the ghost of Christmas future. He just tells you like what could go wrong about anything. Because he's seen it all at this point. Yeah, you go like, I'm going to walk the dog. He goes, I don't know. Be careful with a leash. A lot of people never come back. You're like, I think they come back.

From walking the dog. Most of them come back. Yeah. Yeah, I've driven Connor on the road. And if you're up behind like a logging truck, Connor's like, well, don't you go ahead and change lanes on this. My wife is like the, she can't believe how many things. I'm like, that's actually, you should. should be afraid of that. She's like, you got to stop. You got to stop. You got to stop. Yeah, it'll get you. I won't stop, but the fear will get you.

Do we get in these comments? Yeah, the comments come to us from Twitter, or as we call it, X, and everybody calls it that. Come from X, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast. I love that you changed it on your thing. Apple Podcast reviews. Just in case you reference it again. Well, they gave me this pen. And so now I'm like, I got to put it to you. and mail at naitlandpodcast.com. Don't you love a pen and a paper? Isn't it a good feeling?

I've been drawing a little bit. I like to underline things. You can many times I sit down at a desk with a pen and a pad and then don't do anything. But it feels good. It does feel good. That's why people get mad at us for shuffling the paper. It feels good. But how much are you holding paper these days?

It feels good to hold paper. You go, this is real. I can touch this. I can feel this. You can smell it. I bet they say you can look at something and know how it would feel on your tongue and know how it would taste. I think they say you would know how it would feel. Like, if you look at this paper, do you know how that would feel?

I can imagine it, yeah. But you know, I mean, you know what it would feel like even like to lick the table. I'm sure. Yeah. It's weird that you know that. It'd be weird to be surprised by, you know, what actually feels. Yeah, to be blown away. Quite nice.

Yeah. All right. Okay. This first one's coming from Willie P. Willie P is the Willie Pee. Not the comic in Atlanta. That's Willie B.

Willie B. Yeah. Willie P., I think, is white phosphorus. That's what they call white phosphorus in like the military. They call it Willie P. Really makes it more cheerful. Yeah. You try to have a little Willie Pee.

Yeah, just gassed a village somewhere with Willie Pee. Well, maybe that's why this guy made his name that. Yeah, Willie Pee. Wednesdays have slowly started to become my favorite day of the week. It's always great to see the title of the episode. and see if more or less than 25% of that episode will actually cover the topic. Less. It always feels like we get to learn right along with Nate

and hear his either amazement or utter disgust slash boredom at certain topics. Keep up the good work. I didn't finish the word, I had to discuss in two parts. I love the podcast. I love watching people get bored with what you're talking about. Thank you, Willie Pete. That's no, I appreciate it. Thank you, Willoughby, and I underlined

Keep Up the Good Work. Wednesdays. You know what ruined Wednesdays for a while? You remember that commercial? Humph day. Remember that? I love that commercial. I hated that commercial, dude.

It was quoted, I mean, every Wednesday for 10 years. I can't tell you how many times. I've been on the road with one of you and then the next week, and we'll talk about something that's going on. And that'll be the, I absolutely love it. I absolutely. Like, in that, it's almost like I can guess. Be honest, who hates more things?

It really depends on the topic. There's like a few topics where I go, always going to hate. I hate a lot of stuff. I do hate a lot of stuff too, but we hate a lot of stuff too, but we hate a lot of the same things. That's true. We don't always agree, but we hate a lot of the same things.

That's true. We're bonded by hate. We mainly lose each other with music, I think. Music's the big one. There's some crossover, but. Because I think I just, I like more stuff than you. I think that's what the difference is.

I don't know. I think you like worse things than me. That's what I think. That's kind of a little cross- It's kind of circular. I like more things. You like less things. I like more things.

I think there are things that you can go. Well, I like this. You don't like it. That's okay. But then there are also some things. That's how I feel about all. I like all the stuff you like. No, but some things I'm like, that's bad though.

Like what? You know, you'd have to pull it up. But I bet you could, you know, any newer country that you like. But I think I like everything that you like. I've never heard music. You didn't like Tom Petty. What are you talking? It's a Tom Petty song called Southern Accents.

that I put on for you one time, and you told me that it sucked. And I'll never forget it. On a road trip, when you get the a ox, you go, I'm going to play this, and the other comic goes, no, that's a brutal moment. Yeah, I'll never forget it. I'll never forget it. Change the whole car. The worst is when you're out on a road trip with, like, a friend, and you go, hey, dude, really

listen to the lyrics on this one. I want you to, like, listen to the lyrics. And then you can just tell they're not listening to lyrics. Yeah. And they go, you know what I like? And they go, no, no, this one's still going. No, no, no, no, yeah, yeah. Okay, why don't you shut up?

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So order yours now to get it in time for the holiday. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Okay. David Bushie-Bushy-Nash New York Times article here. I don't know what that means. They were just including the link for us. Okay.

That was in the side. Okay. Yeah. After Aaron Weber and Brian Bates dog Dusty Slave for his recognition in Nashville a few weeks ago, this is hilarious. This has to be addressed on the pod. The public figure strikes again. Hashtag Team Dusty.

Yeah, I don't think we've mentioned it on the podcast yet, but huge write-up in the New York Times. Yes, guys. Yeah, this is not the Murphy's Borough Quarterly. This is the New York Times, huge write-up about Dusty, about the Nashville comedy scene, about Nate, Leanne, but Dusty is really the focus of this. And my favorite part of the article is where it says Slay, who hosts a podcast with Bargetzi and two others. And I thought I'm in the New York Times, dude. I'm one of the others. But very flattering, very nice piece about the national comedy scene about Dusty.

Well, I would say had Brian and Aaron not humiliated me on the podcast when I won, you know, best local comic and they really, you know. You won the media vote. Yeah, they drug me through the dirt and the mud. And then more media came to my rescue. I mean the most media. The New York Times. Came to my rescue. The failing New York Times.

I'm just kidding. That's awesome, man. They came to my rescue. And they said, also, I believe they said at some point in here, I don't know, but I believe they said that I was one of the best working comics today. They did say that. My aunt sent me this article, and she said, you know these guys. Which I was grateful.

I was wondering. I said, were they at my wedding? Oh, that is now. Yeah. So thanks David Bushy for saying that. That's very nice. Thanks for bringing that up because you know what? I wouldn't have brought it up, but I'm glad that it got brought on.

Noel Marie, I am a repeat listener. Thank you, Noel. I've listened to several episodes more than once to relax and unwind. I work out, cook, clean, drive, Mo, try and fall asleep to this podcast. My favorite, no politics or BS. Thank you all. Pure comedy. Wow, that's incredibly kind.

You want one to really fall asleep, too. I have a personal one where it's just me talking. Yeah. I think the coolest part of that is she said, she's mowing. Yeah. That's pretty sweet. Mowing is a good. Mowing the lawn.

I got big into that this year. We got our first, like... You got a riding mower? Zero turn. For my wedding. So I bought a push mower, and everybody in the neighborhood was like, that was not a good decision. It was taking me four hours. You got a pretty big yard now.

And then they, for my in-laws, for our wedding, got us the zero turn. Wow. It's the greatest thing besides the wedding that ever happened. It's incredible how much fun it is. You know, they ordered the zero turn. They told me at the wedding. They go, we ordered him a zero turn. And it's coming today.

And we were like, so we were all hanging around. That's better than Christmas. We were hanging around waiting for that thing to come. And eventually I go, I got to go. We had a babysitter. I got to go home. And then it came two weeks later or something. It came a month later and they left it in the driveway.

Just no knock on the door. Just it appeared. And I go, I feel like you should have said something. I feel like there should. And I just, yeah, but it is the best gift I got for the whole. I mean, it was pretty awesome. It's tough to beat, man. Those, Andrew Dorfman, one of the owners of Zanis, has a farm.

I need a bunch of people over for Fourth of July this year. And I had told him I always wanted to just ride on one of those. big riding lawn mowers just to just to do it and i get there and he goes hey i left a i left a little patch of land for you out there tomorrow right and everybody's at the pool having fun grilling out and i just mowed dude he was out there for a while yeah it was unbelievable it's fun to mow yeah i got a zero turn two and i let my son rides it with me i don't know if that's allowed or safe but i i i go slow he loves it he can't put safety goggles on of course right He has one side.

You go, you do this arm. I'll do this arm. Yeah. We'll mind melt. We'll do it like that. He loves it. He fell asleep on my lap the other day doing it. Ah, it's so great.

It's the best. Yeah. It's like driving, but there's none of the responsibility of like, where am I in the road? You know what I mean? Yeah. Still kill people. Just a blade underneath, though. There is a blade going pretty fast.

Yeah, big one. All right. Next one comes from Ashley Graham. Yesterday was a horrible day. But I woke up this morning knowing I would get to tune into Nate Land a day late, as I always do on Thursday mornings, and that the Nateland guys would provide some laughter to give rest to my soul. You guys do such important work.

Thank you for this one today. All right. You know, Ashley, I'll give you a little something on that horrible day. Would you go ahead and you're a day late? Would you go ahead and put that podcast on that day? You know, don't spend the whole horrible day. Go ahead and put it on that day. You don't got to wait until the morning.

Pop it on. Yeah, I mean, if it's giving rest to your soul, as I'm going to underline here, go ahead and pop it on on Wednesday. You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay, here we go. Oh, this is one of my favorites. Oh, yeah, old friend.

Joe Fush Jr. Yeah. Is this the same fush? It's got to be. It's an incredible name. Shush bag. Joe. It was dusty's chip.

Joe Fuss, Jr. I just found this podcast a week or two or ago, and I can't get enough. I've always been a Nate and Dusty fan, all right, since I saw them on their seasons of the stand-ups, but I had no idea they would be this funny at podcasting, too. You guys are killing it. Keep up the guest and rotating regulars. It makes it more interesting than other pods.

Keep it up, guys. I can tell this guy's new. I feel like this is it. A, this is a repeat comment, I feel like. I feel like this is the last one we read of his. I don't mind it. I could read this one every podcast. No.

Is it the same comment that was in last time? That was Joe Fush Sr. Yeah, yeah. This is Junior. Yeah. And they love it. They go, listen. That's really nice either way.

They're rotating regulars. It is very nice. It is funny that he saw you do stand-up and then it was like, and also you can podcast. Like, usually it's the inverse where you go, oh, they can also do stand-up. But that is very nice. Tim Cochran, what is your dream gig, where and what venue? Who would open for you? I do feel like that's a repeat. Probably the San Francisco punchline. I'm there next week.

Oh, yeah. I've never been. Oh, you know what? I'm going to be there. Next week, I'm going to be at Off the Hook Comedy Club with Connor. In Naples, Florida. Dream gig. My dream. That is my dream gig, Dream City, Dream venue. Yeah.

And come there and see us live our dream. dream. Isn't that crazy? All of us are living our dreams this weekend. Come see us live our dream. Our next weekend. Off the Hook Comedy Club. San Francisco Punchline. You know, wherever you're at. Sacramento punchline. If you're on the West Coast, go to San Francisco. We got options here. If you're in the southeast. If you're in the Northeast, just stay in. I'm sure Brian has a show. Yeah, Brian's still sick, by the way. Yeah. I'm sure by now he's better, but when you're

recording this, he's still sick. And you can actually see him. in Austin, Texas and Dallas, Texas this weekend, too. Yeah. If he's still sick when this comes out. And Houston. We've got something going on. Yeah, that is a good point. Yeah, after like a week from now, it starts to get into serious.

It starts to be nervous. Start to talk about it. I have to do another trip to the ER. You know, you have to. Alyssa Wren. How can y'all remember every venue and how the show went, et cetera? It reminds me of listening to golfers talk about every course and what their scores were. well you have incredible memories yeah you also just lie and say they all went well i don't have a lot

else going on you know what i mean my life is out is outside of it it's pretty sparse this is kind of this kind of it oh this is a this is really special this next one oh get ready for this mook is that that's not the that is the mooky blaylock it's the nba superstar mooky blaylock spelled differently but and he's asking me about baseball errin Aaron, it's him. How many minor league hats do you have, and which is your favorite? Well, I have a New Jersey Nets hat, an Atlanta Hawks hat, and a Golden State Warriors hat, and Mookie Blaylock.

Are those minor league hats? No, but if it's the Mookie Blaylock, I want to relate to them. Oh, okay. Those are the teams he played for. Oh, okay. I have, embarrassing to say out loud, I probably have over 100. Wow. Who knew there were that many minor league teams?

Well, they all got, you know. A couple options. Chattanooga's building a new stadium. Have you seen that? Are they? Yeah. Good for them. You know that when you're going down the interstate into Chattanooga where that old warehouse is, they're building it right at that old warehouse.

Oh, good. Yeah, tearing that down. Let's take a lane out of the interstate too while we're at it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Let's just make it even worse to drive through that city. Cheryl Carner, at a baseball game, I overheard an older man use Eddie Murphy's material from Raw to hit on a much younger girl.

he presented the anecdotes as his own yeah i couldn't help myself i joined in unison with him on the last two punchlines he stormed off and gave me a death stare i think it took 10 years off my life was it worth it did i do the right thing what would you do well shan dunk i mean she absolutely that's that's the best thing i heard all day i got to disagree was it okay was i'm just thinking of the very first bit from that script. I am trying to imagine which bit he does. Let me, this will get her. I just,

so wait, what do you think? You think you should have let it do? I think Cheryl should have mine her own business. Wow. Let the guy, I mean, he memorized Eddie Murphy's material just for this moment. I don't know if this is why he memorized. Or maybe, maybe Cheryl really wanted to go out with the guy. And Cheryl was like, you know what?

I know. Maybe that's what should have happened. The guy should have gone, oh, you know this? Let's go on a date. Cheryl, respond to us. Let us know, would you have gone on a date with this guy? I think the only thing that I'm starting to come around because I would have liked to know, could he, did it work? Was he successfully?

If this girl goes, yeah, I met him and he said, like they're telling how they met years later, people are going, is that from Raw? Like, that would be worth having happened. Oh, can you imagine? They're sitting at home one night and they're just watching and she goes, you got those things you told me, you got from this guy? I saw a guy in front of me at a basketball game trying to hit on a young girl with Emo Phillips material. I was just trying to think of a random guy. I met my wife doing Bernie Mac.

Stephen Wright. I put spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. That's a good one now. Neil Hamburger. Why are? Aaron Jay. It's so.

sweet, how completely opposite Dusty and Aaron's upbringings were, and yet they are close enough that Dusty was in his wedding. Were they that opposite? Can you believe it? Can you believe it that in this world, a man that grew up as poor as me could one day achieve heights like to be in Aaron's wedding? From the trailer park? You're projecting a little bit there. From the trailer park to a wedding? Real rags to riches right there. Wow. It is amazing.

How do I do it? Was it that different? I don't think so. You had silver spoons under your couch. We didn't use them. Alyssa C. How come there's always a bunch of we miss Dusty and glad to see Dustyback comments,

but they never get a. dressed on the pod. Oh, I like where you're going with this, Alyssa. I didn't know at the beginning. They don't have to be read on the pod, but it would be nice to see, hear Dusty get his props from his pod mates. He's the best. Yeah. Let's circle that. Alyssa C. My new, shout out Alyssa. My new favorite podcast listener. Yeah, let me take a break from talking about the New York Times right up just to say, yeah, Dusty, give you your props, man. You're doing great. People missed me. Keep it up, buddy. And they're glad to see him. I'm back.

The Dusty Army, dude. The Dusty Army. All right. Two more to go. Dusty Army. I didn't skip any, but I do think it seems like the Army is not doing well. The thought it counts. Yeah.

Catherine Stowe. Dusty, don't put your coffee beans in the freezer. It causes condensation on them and they lose their flavor. Oh. Wow. Interesting. I got several bags in the freezer right now. Just keep them in an airtight container in your pantry.

Yeah, just any old airtight container. Don't they come in an airtight container? I don't know. I learned this from a guy that ran a coffee farm in Nicaragua. Oh, well, he probably didn't have a freezer. Okay. Listen, you're both not wrong. Why do you keep them in the freezer?

Well, I just felt like it was preserving the freshness of it. Oh, do you keep a lot of stuff in the freezer? Well, yeah, I mean, a decent amount. You put bread in the freezer, stuff like that? I do. Yeah, if I buy, sometimes I'll buy a lot of bread. Okay. And then I'll put it in the freezer, and then with all's out, it's still good.

But this is good info. I am happy to know this. I appreciate this, Catherine. I'm making jokes, but I do appreciate what you. You're going to stow that away for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Appreciate that. Last one, Rachel McLaughlin.

In the arms of the angel. I may have missed y'all talking about this earlier on the podcast, but I just watched Dusty's latest special and noticed his hat. Did he make an exact replica of his Kodiak hat with his cat phrase? Catchphrase. For the special taping? My husband thought it might be because he needed to cover the branding for his special. Well, you know what?

I did do that, Rachel. I did do it. I made my own hat, and it was for that reason. Wow. Because we were worried that Kodiak, for whatever reason, might be upset. I don't know why, but Kodiak might be upset about me wearing the hat. Right. So we made our own version of the hat.

That's very cool. And we sold a limited amount with the stripes on the side. So those are all gone. Wow. We sold it. You guys only about a... Did you autograph them? No.

You should have put a number on a usual. If you bring, if you wear that hat to my show, I will autograph it for you. Wow. And I, but it's, uh, while you're on stage. Throw it on stage. Yep. And with, you know, some money in there. And, uh, and, and, but the, but yeah, we, and now we're going to start selling them again, but without the stripes because it was expensive to get the stripes on there.

So very limited amount with the stripes. Have you ever heard? I think we're, hopefully we're going to have them on the podcast. soon, but that's one of my favorite stories with Monty Mitchell, longtime Nashville comic, so funny. Everybody loves Monty, so funny. When he was at South Street and Jackson,

people started throwing change out of him. He was bombing. People start throwing change out of like, like corridors and stuff. And he was like, whatever, just started picking them all up, put him in his pocket, and left the stage.

Oh, yeah. He's not just going to let this go to waste. Wow. I love that. And that is also shocking to me, because I did South Street a bunch of times. and I bombed, never bad enough to get change thrown at me, but you would think that would be Monty's crowd.

I've worked with him there, and he's demolished. I think sometimes it's just the perfect storm of, I think he may be antagonized. I was going to say it a little bit. I'm leaving out details of the story. Let's just say there was a buildup. That was a bad, it was a bad club. I liked Harvey.

I liked the guy that ran it, but it was a bad club. It's one of your first gigs ever, right? My first ever road gig, and you know who the headliner was, Dusty's wife. Yeah. First ever, I remember calling my dad going, I got a hotel room. Yeah. And he was like, is it good? And I go, let's not get distracted.

And then we just drove home the next day. That was a welcome to comedy gig. Yeah. Yeah. It's a terrible place. They had a funny sign. I remember it said, at the time, Hogan, Hannah Hogan, and then under it, said, dishwasher wanted. And I go, you got to put these on other sides of this.

You got to put it on the other side of the sign. Don't wrote it under it. You know, when I did it, I headlined Friday and Saturday, and they told me that the sales were pretty low for the Friday show. And then when I showed up, they only had Saturday on the marquee. And I go, well, maybe go ahead and put both show dates up there. Yeah, but I've noticed clubs like to tell you that the ticket sales are low. When I go headline, they're always saying. They're always saying that.

Isn't that crazy? I go, this is like your thing, guys. Yeah. And they're saying it more and more. I go, yeah, of course they're low. It's a Friday. It's not really a comedy night. It's not really a comedy night.

Okay. All right. Well, okay, so we're going to take the break. We are going to take a break and you won't even notice a thing happened like it never even happened. Servebro. Hello, folks. Yes, I am sick. I'm home and bed sick. But I drug myself down here just because I want to tell you about chime. Chime is really changing the way people bake.

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All right. Okay. Thank you for your comments, guys. That was really great. We appreciate you sending those in. And now we're going to get in today's topic with an extra special guest. Please give it up for Nate Bargettze. All right. Bring in the big guns. Call in a few favors. This week's topic is going to be on boats.

So we wanted to have it be extra funny. That's perfect because we got the bottom and the top. Exactly. The keel, and I don't remember what it, the crow's nest up. Yeah, we want to cover it all. That's what it is. We want to make sure everybody's covered. And not only is Connor also a comic, he's a boat expert.

I'm a boat comedian. And Aaron's wearing this shirt. Have you ever performed on a boat? I've never performed on a boat, but I lived on a boat when I said. started standing up. So, so less good version of being a boat committee. Yeah, I live there for, you think you would perform on a, but why would you not get into some cruises? I don't know, man. We think that's like a sales bitch to the cruise company. Listen, I live on a boat, so obviously I could do well. I can handle it. How's your comedy? I go, that's not what we're here.

Were you good enough at the time to do cruises when you're, no. Yeah, I wasn't good enough to do land. I was, I was, it was a tough. When I started comedy, like everybody. I was terrible. Yeah. And you were in Toronto, right? Yeah, I went to Toronto and then everybody had to tell me, they go, hey, man, no one moves to Canada to do entertainment. We're all trying to get visas to go back. Yeah, where are you from? Florida.

Yeah. They were like, this guy, they thought I was an interesting guy. And they're like, you moved from Florida to Canada on a boat? Yeah, that's where it's got to be. What podcast do you listen to that made that suggestion? The Robinson Caruso comedy pie The Edmund Fitzgerald It was a thing where I just stopped saying it after a while Because it would inevitably, you'll be like, hold on Walk me through how you've made all these mistakes

Like I just stopped doing I started going, I'm just visiting I'm just visiting First stop, New York City Everybody gets off I guess Toronto we are going Yeah it was a great time man It was a interesting part.

But I'm saying you could do cruises now because you lived on a boat. Like if you're so, like right now, again, I don't think that's why I could do him now. I think that's the only way. He goes, because you're coming. Go do it there, brother. He goes, it's going to get, you need some boat stuff. That's true. That's how I would, I will, I'll get a hold of my cruise agent.

I had a cruise agent. And at one point, I'll get a hold of her and I go, I got a guy. And I go, I think he's got a decent 30 on boats. And he's lived on a boat. She's going to go, no, she goes on boats. I go, that's out of the gate. Yeah, yeah. I go, I'm not, she goes, what about his land stuff?

I go, look. I don't know about his land material, but I know he's got a decent 30 on boats. I think he can make some of that land stuff become boat stuff. I think I could. I could retrofit it, but I never aspired to be a C comedian. You know what I mean? That's good.

Like to get out there. I was like, I was always trying to get to the land, which I thought was where was that. A lot of people work from the land and then end up on cruises. You started on the boat. Now you're on land. Was it a boat you actually sounds so dumb? Was it just a boat that was docked? Have you all been talking about this?

No, we just brought it up. Okay. So you're from Florida, you lived on a boat in Florida. No. No, I had a whole family and home and regular life. I just... Like your wife and kids at home. I go see you, and I undo the rope, and they...

I go, I'll be back, and I'll bring you. No, I graduated school, and I had, like, you know, Florida State. Yeah, I graduated. Florida State. Florida State. Oh, hold on. Don't skip right to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I had no boat experience prior to this. Okay. Except that my, I mean, my dad was, like, a big sailing guy. So it was always, it was a reasonable idea. Okay. This gets classier as you go along. So, but you have a ton of, yeah. You go, I've graduated from Florida.

Now it makes sense. Yeah, my dad's a sailor. Hold on. That's why I'm saying. It wasn't a lot. linear path to Florida State. From where? From childhood?

No, no. I attended a few of the finer community colleges in Florida and Jimmy John's University for a year. Yeah, I had a very non-linear path to the boat. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I just want to make sure you didn't come out, go to Florida State, then go live on a sailboat.

No, I don't want people to think I'm brilliant. I went straight to Florida State here. But yeah, I did eventually, at the Florida State. Okay. Did you go to Toronto so you could do your comedy in French? I got a language barrier. People don't like what I say in this language. No, I really went just because I, you know, comedy's such a, you're like, how do I get into it? And I had a cousin who goes, you can live on this boat for free. And I go, I know free rent will be a big part of my comedy journey. So that's why I went up there. And then I, it was kind of great because you're...

Wait, his boat was in Toronto? Yes, he lives in Toronto. Oh, so the boat was in, yeah. The boat's in Toronto. You have a cousin in Toronto? Yeah, he's, well, the cousin's my, his wife, but I call him cousin for ease of telling the story. Yeah, my cousin-in-law. My cousin-in-law. But I had never met him. Isn't that?

He just told me, he goes, I used to live on this boat. Now I'm married. I obviously can't keep living on a boat. It's a tiny little boat. You went to Toronto on a whim to live on a boat with a guy you'd never met. He wasn't on the boat. That would have been. That would have really changed it up.

This is the boat bunk bed. Your cousin's not even there. Just see her cousin's husband. Okay. But you go live on a boat. That's why you go to Toronto. Mm-hmm. Because you go live on a boat for free.

Because there wasn't, you couldn't have done in Florida. I would imagine you could have just as easily lived on a boat for free. Well, I knew. I knew Tallahassee didn't have a comedy scene that I knew about. I was like, Toronto. You looked everywhere from your balcony. Yeah. Looks like it's not here.

Yeah. I didn't know. I just was a dumb kid. And I went. I know there's some there. I get it. And then I went. And the great thing is when you're new and horrible.

All those people, once you leave, they can't prove you were there. You know what I mean? Like all my six months of being bad. Get good in a place and then leave. Does anybody in Toronto go, yeah, no, I remember you. Yeah, I know a few of the guys from there. Like Ryan Long was there when I was there. And a few of the other people were still.

People long and tall like you. All the same size guys. Only guys built like you. I said, I'm supposed to be there. Did you know Dusty's wife when you're up there? I did not. I did not know her. I think she was like a yuck yucks comic or something.

She did do yuck yucked, yeah. Yeah, and a bunch of comics now who were there at the time just like at a higher level than me, but not just, you know, doing it locally. Yeah. Yeah, they were, I think Steph Tillet was there. I think Roby Hoffman was there. I saw him on a show once. He was probably in New York by then, right?

When was this? This would have been 2015. He moved back. And I don't remember when he got, he might have been there. I think I saw him headline at a yuck yuck yucks because I saw him. later in Colorado and was like, I was in Toronto. He was like, great, great, right, right. Yeah.

That's a big country. That's what he said. Yeah, yeah. And you weren't even on it. He goes, what shows were you on? I go, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not what's happening. Toronto's a good scene, though. It is a good, I mean, there's a shocking number of the comics who have left Toronto

and now are doing something. No, no, Toronto is a good comedy scene. Yeah, there's nowhere to go from Toronto except the U.S. Yeah. But it's a good thing. you there during the winter? I was there. I got there in April and then I was there till like the beginning of November when they were like, I was like, it's getting cold. I got to, I got to get off this boat. Did the boat have a heater? The boat had a space heater that I plugged

in, but it didn't have like a, it had a, dude, everything was dual use. Yeah, tell me about the boat. Was it? How nice was it? How nice was it? Were you misled about it or did you know that you'd be walking in? No, I think I was like romanticizing it. I was like, I'm doing this crazy thing. I'm an artist, dude. It's like camping. Where. you picture the like the sunrise but then the rest of the day you're like I'm pretty uncomfortable you know what I mean like so no no toilet on the boat you have you got a box that slides closed and then you if you want if you got to walk up to the marina what do you mean a box that slides closed like if you're if you just got to go number one there's a box on the boat

and it's literally the system is you pull a handle and it opens up and then you close it and it dumps it into the ocean you're not supposed to do that but that is what you do yeah I will And I definitely had a few nights coming home from an open mic, like, you know, my three minutes didn't go great. And I'm emptying out a pee bucket. And I go, I hope no one sees this. And there were other people in the marina, and they were, I was like, I hope none of them saw me do this. Is it kind of like when you walk your dog and it poops and you're like hoping you're like, ah. It's exactly.

Yeah, you go. Yeah. But then it's kind of a code of like, they're probably doing it too. Where would you dump it otherwise? I think you're supposed to take it to like a. It sounds like, yeah, they never did it. Yeah. He doesn't even know where you're supposed to do it.

Never once did it. Never even really considered it, honestly. I just went, this is water and this is yellow water. What body of water is this that you're in? One of the Great Lakes. Oh, it's not Atlantic. No, no, Toronto's in, yeah, I'm trying to remember. It was one of the big lakes.

But it's one of those lakes that you think is. It was, okay, Lake Ontario. Yeah. Huge leg. Yeah, basically an ocean. And there's an island in Toronto called Toronto Island. It's like very fun. It's like Coney Island kind of.

Okay. And then you kind of go out there. You go dump it out there. If you type in Leslieville, that is the marina. Or that's the neighborhood where the marina was. I think it's called Outer Banks Marina. Less even Old Toronto? Yeah, it should be.

It should, yeah. See that little strip of land? Right here? Yeah. The water is yellow right there. Asperidge's Bay. They downgraded it to Good Lake because I kept dumping stuff in there. Somewhere in here.

What was that there? What's that one out there, the Rocky? The Rocky Point. So if you've got to go to number two, do you just do the thing and you go, I'm going to go swing out to Rocky Point. Yeah, that was what he called. We go, you're going to Rocky Point? Go on a Rocky Point.

Would you go grab a newspaper and then head out to Rocky Point? And just so you didn't have to. It was a long walk. It was a long walk if you were like, I don't go up. I don't picture you're walking it. I think you ride your boat. I go, why is that one boat out in the middle doing nothing? and then you go anchoring down

he anchors I'm anchored down at a rocky point and then you come back in and you go wow what did you go out there for you go just seeing how deep it was up there yeah it was it was there were some characters in the marina you eating Taco Bell

and you run into your boat and you get it in here and then you're just trying to get out far enough to handle it the dingy was how you got around so there's the sailboat which was like 16 feet And then there was, like, a five-foot, like, plastic dingy. And it was awesome.

That thing was, that's how you zipped around the marina. Oh, so, like, almost, I'm picturing, like, survivors, like, from a crash. Like, one of that, like, inflatable kind of? It's got a motor. It's a little better than that. It's one step up from that. You had a bit of an experience on that dingy one time, right? I might have sank it.

I did sing it. I sang it one time, though. He said he had another comic? Oh, this, dude, I'll give you the whole humiliation. So you mean? the floaty dingy that... Like on Tommy Boy when he's out there with that girl and his dad's like

quit playing with your dingy. It's like that's what the boat's called. Oh, the boat's called a deal. Like that guy. Yes, exactly like that. Yeah. It was a little more substantial. It had like a seat and a thing, but in a motor. So the boat, so you're on a boat and that's how you would go around. The actual boat

you're living on, you don't really ever move. We took it out sailing a few times because my cousin would come down and sail, but like I took it out once, but I was already, once I sank the little boat, I go, I should probably leave the big boat. Did it have a name? Did it have a name? It was knife in Italian.

I can't remember. I don't remember what that is, but it was knife in Italian. That sounds like cousin you don't mess with. He was the best. Coltello? Coltello. Yeah, I think that, it might have been a different, like a slang term. It might have been a fork in Italian.

He goes, he might have messed up. Yeah, forcietta. Yeah, that sounds more right. Forgetta. Forget that. Yeah, but I did have a... That was perfect pronunciation. They're really coming so far.

I did... There was a comic who was like a legit comic and he said he had a gig on the other side of the city and I'm trying anything I can do to like make some internet so I go, I could drive you to the gig in a boat. You can avoid all the traffic. Which was true if it had just been him.

Yeah. But then he goes great and then he points to these three girls that he's going to bring and I go all right. And at that point I didn't know enough to go like, hey, this just can't happen. So we get out there, and I told Dusty this, I saw a boat like a month earlier called a Boston whaler, which is the whole lore of it is if you cut it in half, it won't sink. They're like unsinkable. And my cousin goes, yeah, but they have holes in the back, the water comes out. I took that to me, no boats can sink. That's like, I was 23. I was an idiot.

So we got the nose of the boat is like this. I mean, we maybe make it 10 feet and a big boat's coming in. And dude, I just swapped. Just swam. And the, boat immediately. And I mean, I just jumped off. I remember her phone was in the little glove box. She goes, my phone, I just got a guy's number. I go, get off the, you got to get off the boat. I don't know what, whatever happened to your phone.

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. And then we, yeah, I had to call, we had to get the crane. I had to call my cousin, who's like a great guy and go, hey, you know that? You're like all wet. You're just got in the, you're in the water. Yeah. Great, like, it's got to be. Ice gold.

But we're not far. We're not, we're like where the door is from where it should be. Is it? Yeah. Is it freezing? cold? It's pretty cold. The lake stay cold. Like even in the summer, the lake is like shockingly cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, so I just swim back. Everybody gets on shore. And then you go through, I had to call my cousin, go, remember that boat? I sank it. And then we had to get like union guys to operate a crane to pull it out. And it did, I mean, he was like, we did keep driving it. The motor was like shockingly resilient,

but. And did that guy make his gig? No. You know what? We don't talk. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. know what happened to that guy. Did he ever book you on anything after that? He didn't book me and I still send him a veils. I go like, anywhere that's not near the water, I can do. You're like, I'll drive.

I'll drive you. That's what I love about comics is it's two dums do not make, they don't make a right. But like I understand, I'm calling myself that in that situation because I can see being both. I understand that you can be like, dude, we could get there super quick. and then the other dumb's like yeah dude that makes sense because like he's not as right as you're not as right neither one of you're right but you get in there together and you just go like of course this is going to work and then it then it does what it does and if you're did you have a joke about it ever that's all my first year all I had was like I live on a boat you were the boat

that's good that's all I had because it's what you should yeah and it was like then I had to after a while I couldn't be like hey two years ago I lived on a boat like I was like alright I'm writing new stuff this can yeah yeah it was great though I kind of blame him but the other day we did that gig in Ohio and we were doing another spot after

like an indie show yeah and I saw a guy after he goes you know good Saturday whatever I was like oh are you a local comic and he goes yeah and I go you want to drive me to the gig I'll just cancel the Uber and he's like sure and then I get in his car and I realize like this car is like three tires

that should not be like it was the same situation where I think he thought like, oh, this is good, this guy's working the club and I'm networking. But it was just to, we would have all been better off not doing that. You know what I mean? That kind of the same scenario. You remember when he had a car, it was so dirty,

and then you got to give somebody you cared about a ride, and you're like, I need about 30 minutes with my car before you even sit in this thing. Well, that's like when comics do, like crackers, Indianapolis, they used to always have the host come pick up the feature in the headliner, and then it would be like a 30-minute drive to the, club. And the host would show up and his car was filthy. I'm like, we just find out just now that you're going to be picking us up? You couldn't do a little something here? Like, I don't need the car to be exquisite, but you know, get the fast food bags out of the seat.

Throw the trash away. Yeah. That's all you want. Yeah. You don't have to vacuum, but just throw the trash. Exactly. Yeah, it's frustrating when someone gets in your car and you're like, you didn't see it coming. You're like, I got it. Oh, man. I try to get rid of everything that. As I get out of the car, I won't sit with it in the car. Oh, really? Just because I don't even like moving when you've got jackets and hats and you're just trying to throw stuff somewhere. There's a car wash right by my house, and I got the, they talked me into it,

but it was easy, like the VIP pass or whatever. I can go as often as I want. It's for you with a car. Come on, dude. I know. I just was trying to. I just walked through it on the way. Yeah.

I just didn't know if the story. is going to be funny, so I'm trying to get a joke. It's not going to be funny. Exactly. So I'm trying to make it. Saying I can go as often as I want about a car wash is very fun. As you just walk in. I don't have to pay.

I just pay once a month. But it sounds like they were like, come back tomorrow. You've been here. You've been here this week. All right, don't space it out. How often do you go? I go probably every other day. Wow.

Oh, yeah. Because the vacuums and everything as well. That lady's like, I didn't think you would be doing it this, this off. Oh, yeah. They're losing money on me, baby. There's vacuums by my. house that are free. They don't even...

I could go through a car wash of that. I don't know if I could vacuum. I could maybe. I could see it. You might as well on the way out. What's going on in... I can see going through a car wash every day. What's going on in your car that you're vacuuming every other day?

Oh, brother. I'm doing it. Brother, we're talking about here, man. He goes, what's going on? Oh, it's baby stuff now. That changes everything. Yeah. It's not...

It's not... It's and also baby stuff. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right. Like, well, your baby's eating Big Macs? What's going on with you? Come on. He goes, why with your baby?

Wait a second. Your baby had a wapper? Yeah, my baby's into walkers. I don't know. You just go, yeah, dude, what are you food? That's the new baby for him. She's got a black eye. I had to fight her off.

Oh, I'm sorry. Fight her off. Sorry. The baby has a black eye right now. His baby fell. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Anyway.

I thought the joke would be a bigger hit. That's right. That was good. Maybe we'd get into some boating things. Yeah, he did. No, it wasn't here for the... That's okay. We could have laughed it off, but you made it sad.

Yeah, he did. We thought it was out of line. You don't think I laugh off stuff well on this podcast, dude? I think you do. I think that moment, I felt like a real... Wow, these, you know, I've never... Like, Dusty crossed the line. Yeah.

He did, did they? Yeah. Oh, we even, you know, Nate wasn't here when the whole Nashville scene thing happened. Oh, yeah. That was this podcast? No, well, we talked about it a little bit because we had a comment about it where Aaron and Brian

diminished all my accomplishments. Search that on YouTube. That's certainly a way. You've heard on YouTube search. It's certainly one way of frame you. You were talking about when Aaron and Brian dehumanized me publicly on the podcast. Yeah.

A car wash for the boat would have been incredible. I would tell you that. The inside of that boat, Are there not equivalence for boats? I mean, there might be, but whatever there is for boats doesn't mean I knew or found out about it. Did you have to clean the boat regular? Was this the agreement that you would maintain the boat?

My cousin said nothing. He said, you can live on this boat, and that's it. And he never checked on it. He was like, he was really letting me live free. I had a George Foreman grill. He never checked until he sank the boat. I'm telling you, even then, he was kind of like, things happened. Like, he's the man.

I still see him. He's a great guy. They came to, I did a, whatever, comedy bar this year up there. Okay. And they came to the shows and they were like, oh, that's why you were so sad all the time. I'm doing that in two weeks with you, by the way. Oh, yeah. Maybe they'll come to the show.

That'd be cool. Here's some, I've never seen the notes before. These are not done by Brian. I don't know who did these, but this is very good. Yeah, this is good. Oh, wow. We've got a lot of boat stuff. Oh, we've got actual notes.

Yeah. Isn't that nice? This is another name. Look how efficient things are when Brian's not here. Finally, we're running like a real show. This is really organized. Potential warm-up questions. We probably shouldn't read it like that, but I just want to know how impressed I am by it.

Did any of you guys grow up boating? I think we're bad. But we know, Connor, we just got in the Connor boat. Introduce yourself for the podcast list. We know that Connor grew up boating. Yeah, I did. My dad used to. You said his dad was a sailor.

But we don't know if Nate grew up boating. You think Nate came from a boat? Yeah, my dad's an lawyer. so it would be hard to beat the accusations. Oh, my gosh, sailing, FSU, and he wants to go. Yeah. Yeah. He had to go move to live like you.

Yeah, I know. He had to go slum it in Toronto. Comedy is great for really being like, I want to see how the other half lives. Yeah. All right. You go start doing open-mic comedy. You will make no money. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, then that's what's beautiful about comedy is you will go do something like live in a boat because you're just so blinded. and obsessed and, like, in love with it, that you just throw everything out there. Yeah, and it gives it this, like, it makes it, it's like a mirage where you're like, no, no, this is cool. And then all your friends are like, I'm telling you, like, objectively, what you're doing is not cool. You got a pee bucket in here.

We're looking from the outside, and it's not good. Yeah. Yeah, and then I, you know. Why would you even, would you just pee off the boat? Yeah. But occasionally, you'd like, it would be daytime. There's other people. Is it a busy marina?

It was a busy marina. and this marina was like central casting like i'm not making this up i would come home from an open mic where i had done poorly and you're walking down the marina and there was a guy who'd be on his boat every night playing that song by the band player baby come back i swear he would just be playing baby come back and i'd be like dude come on i'm already i'm already sad please don't do this he's sad too i mean he was very he has like some cold nights like towards the end i guess November. Yeah. I found out there's a thing

when to keep like the to keep the ice because a lot of the stuff will ice over they have a bubbler because it just emits like a thing that makes a bubble so nothing freezes because it can't you know get me still long enough. And once people started telling me about that I was like I got to get back to America.

Yeah. I got to get out of here. Gotta get back to Florida where nothing freezes. Would you be like freezing when you're going to bed or what are you could have enough covers in the space heater that you'd be art? You close the hatch. You put, well the table folds down into a bed You take it up and then you pull out a smaller piece of pipe and it becomes a bed.

That may be the saddest thing. You bomb at the open mic, you walk past the baby, come back guy, and then you take your table apart to make a bed. I'm telling you. You eat, you eat, I'm trying to think of one of their best. You go to, what's their gas station? Tim Hortons? Yeah, you go, you come back.

You eat Tim Hortons. Got some leftover 10 beds. Throw it away. Yeah, debate. Do I just sleep on the table? Do I turn it into the bed? And then you get into the bed. How much would you just leave it to the bed?

I would just like, I was also, I was, I was booze in these days. So a lot of times I would just come home and be, I fell asleep outside the boat once and got sunburnt real bad. And that's when I was like, just on the dock? Just on, no, no, no. So like you got the outer boat and then you go into the hatch to your layer or whatever. It probably seemed cool, though, when you fell asleep out there. You go, this is cool.

You go, man, I'm living life, man. I was fully diluting myself. I would like up and be like, it's crazy that I'm just this free. Like, as if I had, like, a wife and kids I had fled or something. Yeah. I really. Free right now. I needed that delusion, though.

And then people just walking by and just going, look at this. People saw you. Were you working a job? I woke up to people seeing you. I was working two days a week at a kickboxing gym, but I did boxing in college. I had never kickboxed. And the kicking really adds another layer. The first day, I launched a head kick at my head.

And I, like, barely got out of the way. And I was like, I should work at Tim Hortons. And you worked there? What were you doing? I was off the books working as like a pads. Because I could do the pads for people. But just none of the kicking? Not the main thing of it?

I kind of just would like riff when they talked about the kicking. I'd go, it's not the kick you practice once. It's the kick you practice a thousand. I would just say whatever. And then they'd be like, huh? But why didn't you just go to boxing gym? Because I couldn't legally work anywhere. I know.

But still. Oh, because you needed to work, whatever? Yeah. You call it a visa? Yeah. I was very much... This is not making the FSU education look good. Well, I mean, that's not.

That's not me doing that. What am I tarnishing a brand? They're the main guy. That's the main guy. That's a Rhodes Scholar. Yeah, Bert. So it's... But, like, I mean, I know you couldn't work on a table,

but did you go to a box? Did you first try to go boxing? No, my... My comic hooked me up with it very quickly, and then once he did that, I was like, this is it. I'm locked in. And, you know, I was looking back, there were a million things where I should have gone, let's try one more time before we just settle into this routine.

But I was so, like, confused that I would just go, they're giving me some money. I'm going to do it. Did you box in like, like you really boxed for FSU or you did boxing? So Florida State had like a deal where they said, we'll let you put Florida State on your shirt. You register as a club for like 50 bucks. But there was a professor who had a, he was like a legit, he was a pro sparring partner. He started a gym, and it was like this awesome industrial building. And he was like a legit guy who started like a free thing. So we'd go like to Gainesville and box their club team.

Yeah. And then we had one guy who was a, he went pro. His name was Willie Farrell, which is like, I go, you know your name is Will Ferrell. He had been an LSU linebacker recruit. And he was accidentally concussing people all the time. Like he was the nicest guy and he would just very lightly tap you. And you'd be like, my life is different. like it was incredible how strong he was yeah did you spar with him i sparred with him because

they were like well you're tall i go well there's more yeah that play here uh yeah i said you know learn how to buy is this or did you know how to box growing up i don't know how to do anything and that's why i was like i should learn how because i feel i also you know i think if you know you don't know how to fight you're like that's that's the worst scenario you want to be like once i realized how many guys could beat me up via boxing i was like i'll chill out a lot it was It's very helpful for me in that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, once everybody's into MMA, you're like, I can't really just fight out here anymore.

Yeah. I mean, there's guys that'll really hurt you. And it's not like, like, even the amateur matches we'd have where you'd win, you'd be like, I'm in a lot of pain. Like, it wasn't, it was never fun or, or like. My buddy joined a boxing gym for exercise, and he said one day, like, the coach came in. It was like, yeah, this one guy died. he got he started getting a lot of headaches and then he died and my buddy's like I've been getting headaches and then he quit I got concussed the reason I quit I got concussed

three times in nine months which is more than they tell you to do and the one time I got concussed I had asked a girl out in my class to go on a date and I still went so I got concussed like four and I went at like six and I was asking her like where'd we meet like I was really not doing a good job but she boxed so she got it no she didn't box she did She just went to school. Oh, okay. I mean, my English class. She was very nice, though.

She was like, I'm going to drive you home. Like, not in any romantic way. I just don't think you should drive. And I go, all right. You're like, but I live on a boat. I'd rather that. I didn't live on the boat yet. I was a whole new guy.

Did you go to the hospital or you just slept off? No, I just slept it off because that's what, like, all the guys on the team were like, yeah, you just like, don't fall asleep, but if you do, it's fine. Yeah, that's who you ask. Yeah. The teen. I was very impressionable. Eating well during the holidays can feel impossible.

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Lock in your savings before they. The New Year Rush offer only valid for new factor customers with code in qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. You can hear my daughter. She's getting excited about it too. I got one. Have you ever been on a boat and immediately regretted getting on? I think so.

I think almost all of them. Do I got to answer to it? Should I say nothing? See, that's how I am. I'm a little bit of a control freak in that way. And like the moment I'm on a boat, I'm like, ah, now the guy driving is in charge of my life. for the rest of the day. Yeah.

Yeah, I think once you get on, you're like, I shouldn't have done this. Yeah. And then because you can't, you just, your control, it's all gone.

Yeah. You have big crews coming up, by the way. Yeah, we do have a big cruise coming up. Yeah, that's true. Well, I'm not...

But that's a bigger boat. A bigger boat, a little more room. A little more room. You got your, you got your place to go to. You're not just trapped with one guy

listening to his stories. We'll be busy. You have a lot of shows. You have stuff to do. Yeah. Both guys do have some long stories. They're telling you things. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, I don't normally do the questions on the podcast, but do you get sick or are you lying like the rest of us? These are great. These are great questions. Very good. I'm not making a joke about you. These are good. I don't think I get sick.

Maybe try to blend the questions that's not so point-blank. That's a good advice. Turn to guess. guest how do you feel about it so it says you lived on a boat oh we already did that one yeah i mean we used to my dad would sail to mexico with like from florida went in the 70s or 80s yeah he's on the there's a photo of him there's like a boat at a crazy angle uh you know because they're they're going fast and it's uh it's him on the boat and he never you had a photo of it in our bathroom he never told me he was like 20 he goes oh yeah i'm on that i go well then i like it a lot

more than I'm. Yeah. I just thought it was a thing. Random. You guys ever ski? I've never skied. On them, no. I've done the... Water ski? Yeah. Water ski. I've tried. Wakeboarding and anything like that? I think I tried to wakeboarding. Yeah. I don't think I could. I tried and ruined all my friend's day for about an hour. Yeah. Kevin, uh, Kevin James has an unbelievable...

It's such a funny bit. Bit. Yeah. And it's like the first time it's on his... Sweat the small stuff. Small stuff. Unbelievable special. One of the best. And then it was, uh, if you haven't, well, you really should go watch. It's so funny of a special. And he, uh, but he talks about that going on, going to skiing for the first time. And, and it was so funny, because when I first watched that special, that weekend, like a day or two before, I did exactly what he was saying. Oh, really? Yeah. Where it's like your first time you're going on a boat and then you're just like, you don't know what to do. Do you know the bit? And you hear your, hear your friends. Yeah, you're skiing. He's down again. He's down.

I didn't invite them. You invite them. And you're on, yeah, they talk you into it. You don't really want to be doing it. But you go, all right, you wave them through. Yeah. And then everything, the second they get going, it's like, you just hear them go, er, and it just stops.

And they got a circle, they get a circle and drag a whole thing. You're just waiting for the boat to come back. You're just floating around. Dude, I was like, I remember crying because I just, it was like, I just, I think it helped me even when you tried to be like jokes and be relatable. It was like, that's what you wanted it to be because that laugh is like, there's not a laugh. You cannot get, that laugh's the best. It's like the most, you feel like better.

Yeah, yeah. Like, because you're just like the release when you're like, dude, I can't, I just went through this whole thing. It's so funny. Is that the special with the muffins? Yeah. Is that the same one? Oh, yeah. Or the guy really only has the one, right?

He has the one. He's had some other ones come out lately. But that one was... Classic one, I remember that. It was a big, it's a big special. It would be on Comedy Central when I was a kid, and I'd be like, this is crazy. Some of the Mini Muffin? It's like, taking an aspirin.

Yeah, yeah. I think I got a blueberry in that one. In Florida, everybody would tube, and tubing is like, you don't have... None of the skill of, you can't... There's no skill. You just have to hang on. Yeah. But that was kind of the fun is trying to throw people off, like really cut in a corner,

and then they go... Yeah, yeah. Here's some boat stuff. Mayday. He goes, people don't even, people listening going, I guess Dusty got rid of that paper. Because he's just off the dome. He's just off the dome right now. Or you're asking for a May Day.

May Day comes from the French Maider, meaning help me. I think that's how you say it, too. I think Dusty said it French perfectly yeah all the you know like loose cannon groggy

a bunch of them are all like nautical words yeah they're like I see a fun fact thing here and it says the longest river in the world is still debated Nile versus Amazon how like how is that still

how can be debated I bet I know the sides I bet I know where each group is that defends it you know what I mean I bet the guys in Egypt are saying Nile yeah And the guys in Brazil are going Amazon.

But why do they, how is it, how could it even be? Right, it's like just measure it, right? And let's just go ahead and figure that out. Yeah. I think it's where it starts, right? Because they all start in mountains and then they run down. So you got to be like, where do you? Right now, China has a river that eventually becomes India's biggest river.

And China's like building a dam there. And India's kind of like, I don't know if you're, that's kind of our river too. It's like interesting who's got what river. Oh, yeah. Why do you know this? I'm a big river. Most of my set, if you see my new hour, it's about... So you're not open boat stuff.

I did boats in river. You're really a water guy. You're a water guy. Well, most of my fans are nautical fans, and I don't want to... Nautical. Some lakes have their own laws separate from state boating rules. Oh. Not the one I live on.

If it's a private lake. Have you seen open water? The movie. Oh, yeah. Not in a long, long time. Yeah, it's crazy. Didn't you do a casino where you said, This was like in Indiana.

I did a casino in Indiana and there was some like bizarre rule. It had to be a riverboat casino because you got the Mississippi, right? Like going up. So they had just like essentially dug a big ditch around a building and went, see? It didn't connect to any other body of water. And they called it like whatever riverboat casino. And I remember the guy I was with had done the Tonight Show and it was, we were in a ballroom and the lady running it comes out.

She's no mic. She goes, weren't you on the Tonight Show? he's like waiting to go up and he goes yes and she goes okay that's enough out of you and then i just remember him being furious the whole gig and then i had no mic and bombed for 20 minutes wow he just said yes and she said that's enough out of you in front of the whole wow all 20 of the audience members do we talked about boatman on here no i don't think so boat man i did a show where was it michigan it was in uh open for dusty at a bar it was on a lake on lake michigan but a bit north Pintwater, maybe.

Pintwater. Yeah. And the host of the show was a radio personality named Boatman. RIP, by the way. Oh, he did pass away. Yeah. Yeah. So I heard the conversation.

He talks to Dusty. He goes, I'm bringing you on stage. He wants me to say. He goes, well, you can say, you know, from Nashville. I was on TMZ. I was on last comic standing. I got interviewed outside of Zanis one time on TMZ. and I was milking it as a credit.

That's how long ago this was. And then Jimmy Kim Alive was your, you had just done Jimmy Kim alive. Yeah. It's before you did the Tonight Show. And Boatman gets up there. No material. And he goes, all right.

Your headliner. And you guys watch TMZ? Everyone's like, no. It's a bar in like rural Michigan. Everyone's like, no. And he goes, yep, all right. Jimmy Kimmel Live. Anybody watch Jimmy Kimmel Live?

He just keeps doing it. And then he goes, about the show Nashville. Anybody watch Nashville? A couple people. And he's like, well, he wasn't on that before he lives. Please welcome. I had the video of this. I edited this for you at one point because it was so for you.

Please welcome to the stage. Dusty's like, just, yeah, Dusty goes like, keep it going for boat man. Oh, yeah, going to ride this energy. I had never seen that before. Well, he was, the show was actually. Okay, it was pretty fun show. But it was, yeah, he was so bad. You guys brought me to, I've done Egg Harbor with both of you, Wisconsin.

And I went back to go do it just via, like I just booked it via email. And they asked me before the show, I'm featuring. They go, do you have any credits you want to say? And I go, no, it's fine. Just bring me up. And the guy goes up and he goes, we were supposed to have, I was a filling. He goes, we were supposed to have. And then he read that guy's credits.

And then he goes, but now we have Connor Lars. I go, if you had told me we were doing that. Think about how good the show could have been. The show was about to be great. They probably don't know this supposed to have either. Yeah. Yeah, it's not like we're supposed to have. They name the name.

Everybody's like, what? All right. Yeah, we're just here. I could have competed with that. I didn't know we were doing this. Yeah, we're just, yeah, it's like we're just old people in this room. Like, me and Aaron did it. I hated that gig so bad.

I got, the show ended. I got off stage. As I was walking out, the guy handed me my check. We beat the people. We beat everybody out. I mean, like, we were all walking out together. I watched Dusty, Dusty gets to his merch pitch,

and he picks up his t-shirt, and he goes, nah. It just does it as close. Did you have to, oh, oh, yeah. He was like, I don't want to stick around. Oh, like, he was going to pit. He was about to do his merch pit.

He picks up the shirt. Yeah, no, no, puts it down. So you just left with his shirt. You went up. with a shirt and just left with the shirt. No mention of the shirt. No, I'll never address it. Why do he bring the shirt up?

Imagine when that joke would have been. Aaron was actually having a really good set, and I thought, this is going to be great. You don't remember about that weekend was I brought, I had two left shoes the whole weekend. I remember. Go on. I forgot, I forgot a belt, and I had two of the same pairs of shoes, and I grabbed two left shoes, and I had that all weekend. and I was so uncomfortable. We hiked a little bit

down at Agarbor, too. We had hiked and walked around the woods a little bit. Did you not go buy another shoe? At the time, I was like, you know what I did do was I ordered a belt. I'll tell you, the belt was the priority at that point. Over the shoes. Yeah.

So you're at a point in your life where you go, look, you can get a belt or you can get a right shoe. And you thought, I thought for everybody's benefit. Let me go ahead and get a belt. The shoe's the least of the... That's kind of selfish.

That is. Thanks, man. And maybe because if you're at a place where you need a belt that bad, you can make a left shoe or right shoe, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. He's like, no, I can break it in. I'll break it in. I'll break it in.

Because there is no left for right shoe at that point. It's just to shoot. It's like those wooden shoes. I don't think they're left and right. I think they're just a shoe. Left shoe's an opinion. I'll make the shoe. I'll make the shoe what I want.

Yeah. Well, good times. All right, man. I never saw this movie. So what's the plot of it? They get, I mean, I vaguely remember watching this. They're out in the water. They get left out.

And so they get, you know, they're on like a trip and then, you know, like scuba diving. And then they come up and the boat's gone. Blair Witch meets John's. It's wild. Yeah. Have we, that's what we're watching. watch this? Oh, have you watched it?

You've seen Shawshank Redemption? No? Yeah, me neither. This is like that, but in the sea. It doesn't either. You know, if you watched it with them and not me, that would hurt my feelings. Shawshanky. Just go watch it this weekend.

And then you throw a golf ball to the fence without me. That's what you would do back at me. I would do that immediately. And that would be so mad at that, too. I don't get that reference, I guess, but, uh. Oh, you were here for all of it, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Your body was, I guess Yeah, we do a podcast And I've never watched Sean I've never seen Charleston I know that And then he says he can throw a golf ball Oh, okay, okay

But we've said, we both said that I would be mad He can't do it without me being there Oh, okay If I wouldn't watch this movie He'd immediately go do that At a small field where it hits the fence Oh yeah

And he told you and do that I wish we could watch it. Could we do, like, could you do Shawshank, you know, like, where they film you? What's that? Like a reality, like Mystery Science Theater 3000? Yeah, why not? But can you put that on YouTube? No, you'd have to figure out how to do it.

I think if you talk throughout, as long as you're interrupting it enough, I think it could go. Is that a movie to do that, too, or is it not? I don't know. There's not a lot of stuff on this. There's some tough scenes to narrow it. We're going to fast forward past these shower scenes real quick. I don't like this. Yeah, I mean, it is a prison movie.

Yeah, it's a prison movie. In prison, it's not good for a lot. The main character has a tough time. What's going to happen when I watch this? Like, is it, like, I feel like it's going to be... I feel like it's going to reinvigorate your human spirit. Yeah. You know what I mean?

It is good. I mean, I know that everybody... Revenger? Yeah. I did say that weird. Reinvigor. reinvigorate. You guys ever been on a pontoon boat?

Oh, yeah. I love a pontoon boat. That's the only kind of boat I really like. Why is that? Well, obviously, I've not spent a lot of time on yachts, so I guess that could change it. I bet a yacht is crazy. Yeah.

I've never been on a yacht. But of regular... I did that big thing for... Oh, there's a cruise ship. Oh, okay. Yeah. Of regular people boats, I like a pontoon boat. I had a buddy that had like a speed boat one time,

and he would take me out on it. and that was one of those where I was like this is fun for a minute but now we're like we're out here I don't want to see all those like you know like those fame everybody's famous like going to do the yacht

thing in like France or something right or whatever you know I bet that's crazy yeah you don't think so I bet it's cool I'm just basing it off I'm based the show entourage it looks like fun

oh yeah that can you know what I mean yeah yeah no but I said I bet it's awesome I feel like I think you're... I said, yeah, I don't have a ton. I'm just basing it off the show. It looks like a good time. That's kind of all I'm basing.

Okay. I don't know. Then it is fun. You just see it in like TMZ or something. But I just think like... I don't know where they go. Maybe they go to can. Yeah, maybe it is that.

Like, what are you doing out there once you're out there on the boat that makes it fun? Hey, whatever you want to do. I think it's, I bet it's like quiet and then I bet you got a lot of stuff, you know... It's quiet or not quiet. Yeah. You can have like a big party out there and it basically just like, you know? It's like a big house. I guess I'm saying if you're married and sober, what are you doing out there?

Fishing? You're asking what would you do out there? Yeah, yeah. I think you're swimming, you're jumping off of it. Okay. Like, you know. Fine dining. Yeah, yeah.

You're snacking. Taking in the view. You're going to like this part. You're like today. For some reason, going it's snacking, not eating. They got almonds. You guys got cheeses? They got cheeses.

I think they, they got cheeses. And they probably made the cheese. It's probably from the cheese at God. Yeah. Yeah. I bet that's true. But I think you go up to like near a cliff and you go jump and you all snorkel through there and you spend your day snorkeling.

Oh, yeah. Water ski, jet ski, you can do all that. And then you know, like have a good big dinner and then you have, you know. That's true. All that stuff. Yeah, I guess if you have the whole thing, you have like a crew that's cooking you some meals. Yeah, I think that's all baked in.

Yeah. Yeah. It's all in the price. By the time you're there at a yacht. like life's pretty fun in general, I bet. You know what I mean? You're not having a lot of bad. Well, how long?

Have boats put around a long time? Well, you know, according to some research I've done, some people say that the earliest boats were dug out canoes over 10,000 years ago. So the canoes were already born. But I don't believe, you know, the earth is even that old. So, you know. So that's tough. It's tough to square that sort of.

Yeah. I would give it about 6,000 years. Okay. But what do you think It started with boats But I would think, yeah Humans hollowed out logs Before inventing the wheel

Yeah, dugout boats are cool Like when it's one tree It's like a 60 foot thing It's one piece of tree Those are very cool You can take those like in the ocean I mean you should I wouldn't do it

The first guy that invented a boat That guy's pretty cool You gotta think I bet I bet there's no one first guy I think it's like Everybody kind of figured it out on their own What do you think they were doing They were like

We would like to get over there and we're tired of swimming. I think you see a piece of wood floating and you're like, oh. Oh, I bet I could just... Oh, that's true. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And that maybe is why they invented that before the wheel. Do you think the wheel was an invented thing or you think they saw round logs rolled and they go, if we just cut this small... Yeah. I bet it wasn't... I bet there's more people embarrassed how long it took them to figure out the wheel. Oh, my God.

Then it is the wheel. I think there's tribes, whatever you would call them back then, that are like, it's shocking. How much. I go, we had, I knew a family that had four wheels. But we just never thought about it. I thought, well, they're rich. Yeah. If you met a different group and they had come up with the wheel and you hadn't, you would be like, don't tell them. I don't even want to show you my hut. Just curious, what do you call it?

I bet you would absolutely go, do you got wheels? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got wheels. We got wheels. We got wheels. Our wheels are different. You know, I ride this for fun because it's more exercise. You're riding on a square, a triangle, bike. And you go, this is just what we do for fun. He goes, we've had Will so long that we do this sometimes as exercise. Because you're so embarrassed to go. And then you just go back to your thing and you go, idiots. He goes, it's a circle.

And it's so much easier. I bet that's hard. The wheels are out of town right now. It took a trip. It would be hard if you came up with the wheel to, like, sell. people on it. It's just, it's like this. It's like this. And you just, it's way fast. Yeah, but you got to show it to it. Yeah. You would have to have a

Yeah. Seeing is believing. Yeah, I mean, that is very funny to just be. Yeah. I think I like boats. I think boats. I think boats are cool. I don't like being on them. But,

listen. I was watching he flipped through it trying to find. Brian's had hundreds of episodes to perfect this. This is my first try. And you didn't know you were doing it till right before we started. And I didn't do the notes. And as I'm looking through this, you know, in the beginning of the podcast, I didn't like boats. But as I'm looking through this, I go, you know what?

I do look back. I do like boat. Is it like what boat you said would you speed boat? What kind of boat would you buy if you buy any boat, yacht, anything? I think like a pontoon boat like thus he said. You can just take the family out and sit. But if you could afford a yacht, if you could buy anything. You know, they say.

I told you. I want to, look, if you have a yacht, I want to come hang out on. But what have you? I'll let you deal with it. They said the two best days of a boat owner's life is when they buy it and when they sell it. Yeah, they all, everyone at the Marine would be like, you don't want to be the guy with the boat. You want to be the friend of the guy with the boat. Because it is, it is a lot. It's expensive, right?

You know what they say? You know what boat stands for? Bust out another thousand. That's what they say. Who says that? I saw it on the show one time. Boatman? Who said that? Boatman said that?

Was that boatman's thing? Is that how he got off stage? That was his merch pitch? I would say pawn stars. I saw that. They were trying to sell a boat. What about a houseboat? You don't have any interesting?

Because that's sort of a pontoon boat taken to the extreme. I like a houseboat. I guess so. I want a little rigged-up houseboat where it's like a trailer on a boat. There's a lot. Yeah, you can get a bunch of those in Toronto. House boats that are like, something goes wrong. you just to untie that rope and you go, I'm moving.

Yeah, like a single wide trailer, though, sitting on top of a flat. So it looks like you're in a trailer park, but you're like floating on a boat. The trailer park aesthetic, but on the water. I'll tell you this, as much as these all sounds fun. The least fun I've ever had in my life was in a kayak. That is the least fun I can have on earth. Yeah. It's just not, I'm miserable.

Where do you get going? Oh, I don't get going. No, I'm saying. you get going sideways. And you're like, whoa. I've had that before. Yeah. Were you with someone else?

I've done it alone. I've done it with other people. And it's just. When was it least fun alone or with other people? I feel like it's with other people. Yeah. And I feel like it's so much work. And I feel like nobody's talking about how much work is.

Is it a kayak or a canoe? Are those basically the same thing? I'm grouping a minute. I'm grouping in where you have the paddle. And everyone's like, let's just. a fun day. Let's go have a fun day. Yeah. No. You need a lazy river on a float. Like a float trip can be fun. Oh, that would be great. Yeah. I've only did float trips while I was drinking, though. I haven't done it in a long time. But, you know, if you're having, you know, if you're,

you know, you're doing some light drinking floating down the river. That's fun. You got to go in a ginger beer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You want to go with the group. You want to go with other people. Yeah. I took my wife kayaking and there's like, I was like, well, I'll paddle because. And then I, I, we got like a hundred feet out and I go, we should have brought two paddles. We're on a lot slower. She's not having as much fun. If I had just given her a paddle, this would have been better. You said, you should have what?

I should have given her a paddle as well. I was like, she'll just sit back and enjoy the view. But then we were going slow and I go, she would have had more fun. It looks like it's going to be so easy to. She has nothing to do. No, well, she just can think about, she goes, this is a slower and I thought. That's kind of all she thought. I thought I married a man.

I didn't know what happened is. I thought he was a boat guy. I think we're going upstream, huh? Oh, what about jet skis? You guys get into that at all? Oh, I love a jet ski, dude. I never jet ski, the opposite of a kayak, probably the most fun I've ever had.

Wow. Oh, really? They are so much fun. I never jet skied. I don't think I have a C-Doo. Four-wheeler's I love. I'd even did a snowmobile one time, but never a ski jet ski. Yeah, dude.

That's amazing. Yeah, I would see. Yeah. It's all Kenny Powers. He's taking over the jet ski thing. Oh, you typed in he's bad. I thought that was just jet ski on Google image. I went, wow.

That shows more. popular it is so much fun yeah yeah but the jet ski people i grew up on like near the beach you know from sarasota florida and the the jet ski that if you're if there's going to be a problem with the beach it's probably is that a type of guy a hundred percent jet ski wow someone says this type of guy somebody had a joke when i first started they said like a jet ski is a it's like the if the sole patch if a sole patch was a vehicle like you know what i mean it's a very specific type of guy and uh my dad would get furious of jet skis based on nothing. Like, they would just go by and he'd be like, I knew it.

Well, it's also like, if you love, like, peace and quiet and you're out on the beach and then, and then, like, they're ripping it up out there and having a lot of fun. Like, you ever see people having fun in public and it just annoy me? You go, what are you guys doing? What are you doing? I was in New York City and walked by these people. They were on the, they were in Times Square. They were on this little pedestal where the thing goes, the camera goes around them and

they're filming some video. And they're in the time of their life. And I'm like, what a bunch of losers. You know what I mean? I would love to see you see a flash mob, like right as it starts. You're like trying to do something on your phone and then it just starts. Yeah. No.

Yeah. Oh, geez. Jesus, right? Yeah. Absolutely. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. The holidays are atomic traditions. Some people have many in their family and some have none.

Or they're just beginning of their own. My favorite family traditions decorating our Christmas tree with our daughter. But we all need to incorporate traditions in our life. Incorporating therapy into your newer existing traditions can help ensure you take care of yourself during what can be a very joyful but sometimes hectic and lonely time of year. It's so important this time of year to take care of yourself, which can be stressful and lonely for many. I encourage you this year to try better help online therapy in December to close the year with clarity rather than chaos. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms

having served over 5 million people globally, and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. So this December, start a new tradition. Take care of yourself. Our listeners get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash Nate. That's BetterHELP.com slash Nate. is there any additional things you'd like to say about boats your most fun time was ever was on a jet ski i think this is a u.s coast guard estimates 98% of boating accidents are caused by human error not water

not the water which i think it's funny i don't know it's just funny to go like so 5% i go it was the water yeah snuck up on me it's just kind of funny to be like the water's it is because that's all it else it could be that's like water that's like water That's like comedy. 95% is the comic. It's a 5% where you can blame the audience. It is the water. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll give it 10. Yeah. I don't think it's 10%. I don't, I mean, when you're, here's the, here's the blur. Because when you're first starting, you're not good. So it's two not goods in front of each other. You're not in a good venue in front of a bad audience.

Yeah. Neither one of them are good. Yeah. But as you get, as you get more professional and you're doing more professional gigs and not the, then it's like, it starts, the crowd knows, they're at least, even if they don't know you, they know they're in a comedy club and they're here to watch whatever they're going to go watch. Yeah. And so I think it's, and I think the other five percent that you're talking about, I think that's the comic that's egging that on. Because you learn quickly, if you start talking to that crowd, then you open that door, well, then who's fault, that crowd's bad. Like, even if you didn't mean for it, it's like you just, you kind of asked for it.

Yeah. Well, sometimes, I'm just thinking sometimes the water's rough, though. Sometimes you walk in and you go, this is, it's an impossible setup. Yeah. I'm talking about court. I know that. Well, yes. If it's noon in Texas last week and I'm the comment.

Weirdly enough, I don't know. All right, maybe I could see that not being the crowd. That's just the setup. It's just the setup. Yeah. It's like you're just in a position that's not going to be good. Some corporates where, yeah, they have at 3,000 people and the speakers are up to about 500 people and then 2,500 can't hear what I'm saying. So it's just like they just start talking.

Well, that's just a bad setup. So it's like not a crowd. I think in general, like of what that is, it's, yeah, 5% is. But I've seen some setups. I've seen, I've started, I mean, I remember going in and doing shows when you first. start and you're just like you're like I would I could point and go that guy's getting kicked out oh you can tell right away show hasn't even started he can tell right away show hasn't even started he's on a jet ski yeah yeah he's gonna get kicked out what if you

do you have a favorite song about boats that you like no the wreck of the Fitcherrell that's a good one gotta be up there I when I think of boats I think it's steely Dan that's boat music to me I don't know if they're all yacht rock yeah yeah yeah that's exactly I don't know, like a story about a boat. I don't know. Well, Edmond Fitzgerald's a good one. Lowe Lovett has one called If I Had a Boat. That's a good song. That's a good one. Yeah. What about It Could Buy Me a Boat? I don't know who sings that. It's a pretty recent country song. Yeah. That's not a bad song. I remember Chris Jansen. Yeah. It could buy me a boat. It's not a great song, but it's not a bad song. It could buy me a truck to pull it. Yeah. I had a list, but I left

my phone in another room. You had a list of boat song? Top five country songs about boats. Maybe it's on here. That song is so funny. The lyrics are, people say money can't buy happiness, dude. All right, I get it. You know what it can buy? It could buy me a boat. Yeah.

It could buy me a truck to pull it. Yeah. It could buy me a Yeti cooler, iced down with some silver bullets. Yeah. And that's it. And as long as that's not on the way to a canoeing trip, that's happiness to you. Yeah, I mean, that does sound fun. What about the, what is it, it's not a canoe, is it a kayak, or is it when you're like in the thing?

vacuum seal Yeah, that's, that's like, yeah That's where people can drown I've done that you drown upset that That's what we grew up I mean when I was a little kid That's what my dad would be like He'd send us out in those

And yeah, you can flip them really Wow And how do you get back over? You just know They're designed that they can You put yourself back in It like you do get used to it Oh you get you can get out of it

Yeah you're not You don't have like clamps or anything You just you got your feet in there There are like the professional ones Like the guys who go over waterfalls They're like locked in there And those guys are Those guys are crazy.

I was in one that was like sealed. Oh, you shouldn't have been in that. Yeah. I should not have been. Yeah. Yeah. I got some questions. It was a little, it was a rubber suit.

Was it a regular? It was a regular one? Whatever. Whatever was sealed. Everybody. But mine was more. And then I remember it went up to the neck. And it was like strangling me.

Whoa. Whoa. It was somebody was trying to kill you. No. It was really cold water. So they're like, you have to cover your neck. whole body or else you'll get but did it have armed things yeah that came out yeah wasn't a straight jacket who told you this was there a note on the guy you were you're floating it looks you're like a

lighthouse just going down to just a light on your head just this is the least fun I've ever had this is a real thing that's terrible I had an oar and everything it was just like but you had it so it came up and you put it through your arms like a jacket and it came all the way up to your neck and that was attached to the boat it was like, so like a wet suit that zips all the way up and there's a thick turtleneck and the whole body's covered. And then there's like a little rubber sock that comes out of the kayak. And you get in that and that just seals on you. So you're trying to create a seal so like the kayak doesn't fill with water. But then if you fell over, could you swim out of it? Not easily. They were designed

that you could flip back up. Yeah. If you like shifted your way, you could flip the thing back up. Yeah. What was the training course like on that? I mean, it was like 20 minutes of this guy talking. Were you seal school? Where were you doing this? This is crazy. This was in Argentina with Lucy's family. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's terrible.

I mean, it was beautiful, but it was... And then I hate being the guy that's not having fun what everybody else is, but I was pretty uncomfortable. Yeah. And I'm the biggest person in the country. So they got no... They're like, what size wetsuit? I go, like, the biggest that you have available.

And it was like, you know, a... you know, a large. I was like, golly. You got to take a shirt off in front of everybody. So I squeezed into it, man. Can I wear, do you mind if I put my t-shirt back on over the?

I should have done that. You just got to get up. You're just walking with the boat around your waist. They just punched two holes through the boat. And now you're just walking through this town. And they're just... I'd like... There was one thing I was a read on this, and I lost it.

Oh, a boat technically becomes a ship when it can carry another boat. I didn't know that. I thought people would like to know that. I thought a tugboat pulled other boats. Yeah, but that's so... Yeah, but I guess it can carry another boat. Oh, it's got to be on top of it. So you're on the ship.

I guess I... No, his was on the backside. Oh, it wasn't on the boat. No, and people, boat people are very specific about the jargon. They'll yell at you a lot. Really? Yeah. Oh, the other one was the Polynesians

navigated across the Pacifics. How do you say it? Polynesians? Polynesians. It's like the sauce at Chick-fil-A. Yeah, exactly. I would call that Polynesian. I wonder if they're related.

Yeah, everything they did. They navigated across the Pacific. Yeah. And now they're... Now they're whittled down to a sauce. Polynesian... Am I not saying it? Polynesians?

Yeah. Polynesians. Polynesians. Polynesians. Navigated across the Pacific using stars, wind, birds, and wave patterns. Way out of the use birds. For navigation. No, I think they just say that.

I think they go, long story short, we didn't know what we were doing. We just went. Can you imagine some guys goes, there's that star again? And you're like, they know nothing about stuff. Yeah, yeah. And he goes, all right, he goes, there's stars there, that bird's right there. We're going the right direction. I would find that if I was on that boat with them, I would go, like, I just don't.

And they go, look at the wave patterns. And you go, what are we doing? What are you talking about? What are we doing? You're like, look out of that bird's fine. And they go, oh, I just don't. Well, what about this one? It's one fly the other way.

As long as you see a bird. Don't bring up that one. That's the rule. If you see a bird, it's got to land something. Yeah, we're close. Yeah. You're close because you know that. Which is not comforting in the ocean when people go, we're close.

I also like that it's like, well, how'd the other people do it? Everybody was doing it with the stars, wind, birds, and wave patterns. Like the other people weren't like. I think if you're doing it with the winds, too, you're going like, well, the wind's taking us this way. When does it say this happened? It doesn't have any dates, really. In 1994, I think. They're bringing over that sauce from Chick-fil-A.

So, yeah, maybe early 90s. Wow. They don't say, but if they're using Star-winning Burge, you imagine it's zero. I think they say it's a long time ago. That's why it's the big deal, because they think they got to, like, Indonesia and Australia and all that stuff. They don't say it's a long time ago. Look how they got over. This Senate says it's a long time ago.

Are you looking for a year to wrap your head around? Who cares? Well, but this is the Amisher getting around like this on land. I just asking the question. Dude, I don't know. The, I don't even know how to say when was this, the 1430s. I mean, maybe. Maybe.

Yeah, but Christopher Columbus, he couldn't have been using much better than that. When was a compass invented? I think he was, I think this is like thousands of years ago. Yeah. I think that's the whole, if you type it in, they're going to be like. The compass was invented in China with versions appearing during the Han dynasty around 4th century BC. Yeah. So they'd been using it. So they, Polynesians weren't. They said, we're using birds. They were the Amish of the sea. They said, we will not use your...

So the Amish used birds? No, I'm just saying Amish are like new technology. We don't need it. Ommas people might be using birds. They used birds to build houses and barns. That's how they navigate right now. Yeah. I think we're downtown. They see a bird. Here's an old subject that, but it says the deepest point in the ocean could fit Mount Everest

inside. Yeah. But they don't really know the deepest point of the ocean. We've been to the deepest point of the ocean. I don't think so. James Cameron went there on a, he tweeted from there. I don't think so.

But James Cameron tweeted from there, didn't? Yeah, but there would be... The deepest point that we can go. That we know about. Yeah. Sure. He's not, we've not been to the deepest. That's a crazy thing to do at the bottom of the ocean.

His tweet? Yeah. I would have, like, planted a flag. You know? Yeah. We can't get out of the boat. Yeah. He tweeted.

Leave something. Just arrived at the ocean's deepest point. Hitting bottom never felt so good. Can't wait to share what I'm seeing with you. It's just not true, though. I don't believe it. You don't believe what? That he went down there?

That he tweeted from there first off. I would believe that someone on the boat tweeted it once they hit. Okay. I don't believe they did it, though. I don't believe they went to the bottom. If they have cell service down there and there's like motels I've been in that don't have it, I feel like their priorities. You would think to go, well then, you know,

Yeah, let us know what service. What are he goes, he goes, Team Mobile. Yeah. Also, you're at the bottom of the ocean. Get off your phone for a minute. Yeah. Yeah. Take it in.

What's it take to be impressed? Would you guys ever get on a submarine? I would never. No, I have zero interest in that. I'd rather go on a rocket to the moon than a submarine 10 feet now. Submarines, that's like a scary. I'll go 10 feet, but. 10 feet, you go.

I wouldn't even want to get in the submarine, to be honest with you. That's what I'm saying. I would have no space that's small. I have scuba dive. Scooby dive is awesome. Yeah. But it's the, yeah, I would see, yeah, submarine would be, I mean, how do you not start panning? I would have to have a lot of medication problem.

Yeah. And just. It's like you did it. Especially like the one in the one in Charleston, like the, it's like one of the first submarines to be used in battle. like everyone died every time they used it multiple times and everyone that ever got in it in the water died but the boat kept coming back yeah imagine like being the third crew yeah you're like every yeah how'd the boat come back i don't know yeah that's crazy yeah you don't want to be the first anything in exploration you know what i mean you want to be like the fifth the hunley that's what it was called to hunley

yeah the hunley you ever seen the free diving guys the guys who can dive down to like 300 feet just holding their breath? No, that's. Those are really, that's like a hobby where you go, how'd you get into this? Yeah.

We talked about this with Ben Sawyer when he was on the park. Okay, yeah. Yeah, talked about Civil War. Civil War submarine is Yeah,

I know, it's crazy, man. But it's like they died, yeah, I mean, like, I don't know, they used to talk about it in Charleston. I don't know. Everybody died, though.

That's the point. Oh, yeah, I see, I see, all I can read from here is killing all eight of her second crew. Yeah, seems like a bad review.

Mobile, Alabama. Yeah. Yeah, I've been on the Yorktown and the USS Alabama. Those battleships are really cool. Yeah, they are cool. Yeah. It's a tight fit on those. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, just being out there, I mean, you're out. There's just nothing. Nothing you can do. It's you and a bunch of other dudes just out there yelling at each other. There's like 17-year-olds who have gone around the world solo in a boat, like a little sailboat, and you're like, dude, how do you go back? What are you going to go to the senior year now? Like, it's crazy to think about.

Oh, yeah. You ever get into sea shanties? You ever sing them? What is that? Like a shack? Like a houseboat? But like a run out? No, like the songs.

Sailors would say. I'll be on the road there, and I've got it to see shanties. Oh, gosh. Just like you and your boys on a shit. It's part of that music that we don't mesh. It's part of that music. What are you talking about, dude? Sing us one.

What shall you do with a drunken sailor? What shall you do with a drunken sailor? What should you do with a drunken sailor? early in the morning. You never getting into that, dude? Just you and your boys. You've done that? No, I just like to play them in the car and sing with him.

I could see if you're out on a boat for a long time, though, just singing that with your friends. Can't you transport yourself with music like that? Like, you imagine yourself on this boat. I'm on the Hunley right now. I want to get off. What channel is that on? I mean, how old are you? Spotify, dude.

What do you talk? What channel? Is that AM or FM? I got the internet. internet on my phone, do go to sea shanties, man. I thought a shanty was like a shack.

It can be. But it also can be this. Traditional folk songs that you used to coordinate like, they used to keep rhythm and time. Yeah, so now you drive in your nice car

and try to just remember what it was like to be a slave. I like to imagine. No, these aren't. Did you ever go sing slave songs? These are slaves.

You're basically there. A lot of sailors were not there. The other day on our yacht, we were all singing slave songs, and it felt great. I just, like you watch The Lord of the Rings or like, what is that, the Hobbit, they get into, like, singing. It's like when you had no entertainment, you had no TV, no radio, it's like singing with a group of people. Seems like you would love that thing. I mean, I would be into that. The camaraderie of it.

I just imagine on the boat with your boys. Yeah. Like you're about, you're thinking about being back at land. Just when you... When you don't drink, though, it's like nothing's fun. It's like ROTC, we would say. Well, these guys are all drunk. Yeah.

But yeah. Well, but I mean, yeah, it's like, I think going to war and like doing like, yeah, I could see... Is this the only one? I mean, I can get, you want to get into the... We can do the beep cuts if you won. How many times did you go to that? You always start with that one? No, I mean, I've never looked at these.

I've never listened on YouTube. The Weller Man's a hot one. Oh, yeah, Nathan Evans, he's one of the best. Wow, he's got 5 million views. I mean, this has 447 million views, dude. Wow. People are into the sea shape. Half of these are airing, though, right?

Long road trip. Wow. That's probably copyright, though, huh? Yeah. Yeah. But this guy's singing it like a real song. What do you mean? Yeah, this guy's good.

Yeah, yeah, but I mean, is he recovering an old song? Yeah, it's like an old folk song. This is good. I could get into that. I bet you he's tough at the holidays. I don't mind that. I played it in the car. Be honest, dude.

I mean, could you get into it? I got into it. I also had, I was pre-exposed. I did ROTC. Connor's like, I appreciate the gig. Yeah, I go, I'm featuring. Let me just, let's go ahead and disagree. You know, I got a list of stuff I didn't like.

No, I see them. They're good. And if you get... You could tell me to change something in the car. I don't care. Well, theoretically, I could, but I would never do that. You got to keep the code. But I like singing it as long as you start singing it first. You know what I mean? Yeah. If someone's just, if you're not singing it, I'm just sitting there going, this is weird. But as long as you're singing it and we're both looking straight ahead and don't look at each other.

A recognition of, yeah, this is absurd, but it's kind of, it's just fun to... Hour seven on a car trip, though, I'll be like, you want to listen to phone calls from a radio show it in 30 years? Like, I'll listen to anything. Exactly. Yeah. I'll pull up that Opie and Anthony compilation from 2003. Yeah, yeah, we're listening to all that.

Anyway, give the sea shanties a try. That's not bad. What was that guy's name? That guy's name is, I think, Nathan Evans. I may add that to you. Nathan Evans. Yeah. I mean, he was huge.

He had a real moment, 2020 on TikTok or 2021. 447 million views is incredible. He does cruises, manly. Old cruises. Uh-huh. Anyway, that's boats. Well, that was great. That was great.

That's a good episode. Yeah. One of the best, really. It might be. Have a wonderful night. We love you. See you. Yeah.

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