The Nateland Podcast - 284: #284 A Very Nateland Christmas

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

Dusty is out this week but the guys celebrate Christmas with their #1 guest, Greg Warren. Aaron gets into the Christmas spirit with his attire, Nate considers trading Brian to the Consumers Podcast for a future draft pick, and Greg re-lives a standup comedy routine he wishes would have never resurfaced. Vuori: Vuori.com/nate Vuori is an investment in your happiness. For our listeners, they are offering 20% off your FIRST purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at vuori.com/nate. 1-800-Contacts: https://www.1800contacts.com/ Getting contacts doesn’t have to be a hassle. Let 1-800-Contacts get you the contact lenses you need right now.  Order online https://www.1800contacts.com/ or download the free 1-800 Contacts app today.   Ridge: https://www.Ridge.com/NATELAND Take advantage of Ridge’s Biggest Sale of the Year and GET UP TO 47% Off by going to https://www.Ridge.com/NATELAND #Ridgepod #ad iRestore: https://www.irestore.com/NATELAND Reverse hair loss with @iRestorelaser and unlock HUGE savings on the iRestore Elite with the code NATELAND at https://www.irestore.com/NATELAND #ad

This holiday season, your support can help CAMH transform mental health care. From now until December 31st, every donation will be tripled for three times the impact. That means your generous gift goes even further to help create a future where Canadians can get the help they need, when they need it, no matter who or where they are. Together, we can forge a better path for mental health. Make three times the impact with a donation today at camh.ca.ca.comh.ca. Hello, folks, and hey, bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, wearing his second job. It's a busy time of year for you.

Big time of year for you. I'm booked up, man. You're booked up. This is what a lot of corporate stuff. That's right. Do you call it corporate stuff or do you call it mall stuff? Private gig. Private gig.

I like that. Private gig. No one really knows. It's like, oh, wow, man. You know, dude, it's working, dude. He's working. And he's home by 905. Wow, that's interesting.

Yeah. And the wonderful Greg Warren. Hi, guys. Oh, hey, Greg. Yeah. What's going on, man. Our boy, Greg, right off the fame of the Tonight Show. How about it, man?

Your set was great. Thanks, man. Thanks a lot. It's great. Yeah, it's awesome because it's like that's even a crowd. Like TV sets, you know, you know, they like to clap. Yeah. And you had to, but you did great with it if, like, getting them.

Because especially like the last joke where you got to, you just got so many more tags to it. You got to kind of stay on them a little bit. Yeah, you feel like you're like, no, no, no, not here. That's a setup. But you got to kind of... They should... You know what? If someone wants to...

If you want... It might be a good example. If you care... If anybody cares about stand-up comedy. But if you want to see what a comic has to do, sometimes when applause, it's like watch your set. Where you have to go...

It's not like no one's... It's very nice and polite. You're clapping. Oh, yeah. And then... But when you're like, I kind of got a... I got a couple more things.

I got to get out. Yeah. You only have so much time. Yeah. And it's like that was done in a great way where it's an acknowledgement, but it's also like... Not rude. Yeah, not rude. Yeah.

It's like, how do you do it? That's a touch thing to be not rude. Because you can also, I mean, I've had it on the tonight show where you just have to bail. You just have to go like, well, I just can't do that part. I bailed on one in the fishing thing. Yeah, yeah. That's just not going to. And that's one you've got to figure out in the moment, which is great in the moment.

I was like, I cannot do that. So fun. But Michael Cox, the Booker was... He was – he was – he's unbelievable. Very helpful because, I mean, the most helpful I've had on any of those guys, like everything that – he's like, this is going to happen, this is going to happen, and he goes, you're going to have to – you're going to have to plow through a couple of these applause breaks. Are there's going to be an eight-minute set?

Yeah, yeah. You know, he's like, you're going to have to go through. Adrian booked you on the Ferguson. That's right, man. I feel bad now. That's tough thing he said. Actually, you know what, though? Adrian booked me, I think, and then bolted.

He wasn't there, I don't think, to prepare me. Interesting. I'm trying, because you were... That's what I would say, too. Yeah. I'm pretty sure you were, when I shot it, you weren't there. That's a good backtrack. Who came in after me?

Shalene? I think so. I followed Bart Coleman. Yeah, and he's booked me on stuff before. And he was great. He was the second best. He was second best and Shaline was the third. He goes, but you're in there.

Adrian. Adrian be on your Mount Rushmore of late night bookers that you've worked with? Definitely. Definitely. Definitely. How many presidents are on Mount Rushmore? Yeah.

There's how many, well, his Not Rushmore is different. It had seven people. No, yeah, I think you, I think you like booked me

and then quit, I think. Yeah. By the way, if you listen, Adrian, who runs all the production of Nate Land,

I don't know if they've, I don't know they've officially ever really met you or heard of you, but he came from comedy.

It works a lot had Madison and booked Ferguson back the way, did a lot of stuff with comedy. It did very good. But it was very funny that Greg was rude out of the gate. I was incredibly rude. Yeah. It did not occur to me at all.

That is what I expect from someone that was on the Tonight Show last week. Yeah, man. Is that ego? It just comes out. You're just on. I mean, what is Christmas going to be like at the Warren where you're just like, get me this, bring me this? I'm not going.

You're not going. They can't, they go, and they should understand why. Yeah, I'm hoping Jimmy's having Christmas. Yeah, you go, I have my own Christmas. Can we come? No. Yeah. No.

Yeah. That, well, you killed a bud, and I'm so glad. Thanks a lot. Yeah, thanks. So glad you did it. It worked out, you know, and, yeah, because we had to move it around because you're on the, I don't think that's, or maybe his husband said, it's been announced the game show, right? The game show's out.

Yeah, okay. February 25th is the airing of the greatest average American game show. Greg Warren is the announcer. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, Julian, it's Greg and Julian's with the crowd and comes and helps me with the challenges that I have to do. And Greg is the announcer.

And so he was supposed to be doing the Tonight Show then. and then we were all very kind of pleased to Fallon and Michael Cox, and they were wonderful and just were able to move them. Oh, that's awesome, man. Can I say something about the game show? Yeah. It depends what it is. If I like it or not.

Yeah, yeah. No, if I like it. Yeah, all right. I think you'll like it. So there, it happened. Nate dies. Golly, Greg. Dead gummit.

on a game show. That was going to be a big time spoiler because that's never happened. No, no. Yeah, it's, yeah, yeah, it was, uh, um, so we go down for rehearsal for a few days before the game show and it's Julian and Nate and I, and, uh, Dan Shacky, a friend of ours is like,

helping write some of the stuff. And at some point, they say, uh, they say, all right, Nate's doing too much business in the second part of the game show. He's doing, he's explaining the rules too much. And they're like, just have grown. I do it. So then they put me in there. And then it evolved in it.

And then it evolved into this weird thing that there's like. So it was going to be, so if you watch the game show when it comes out, it's, it's, I'm hosting. We have three contestants. The goal of it is to win the average American salary. I think we just talked about it last week with Dusty. And so the first one is them three. We poll the average American audience. So whatever poll system, you know, the polls we always talk about, we use those polls.

So then it gets down to two people from there. So then they got to guess the average, what am I going to do? Like shooting free throws or naming state capitals. How many can name name in 60 seconds? And so they got to write a number and the other person writes over, under. So to introduce that on the first episode, what we came up with was I was going to be backstage age and then be brought out. And so when we go to commercial after the three gets down to two, so when you come back, you come back to Greg and Julian, who are on the show, they're

announcers and they're a part of the show, but you come back to them and then they set up the rules to the game. And I'm not on camera. Yeah. So the first, the rehearsal, there's a kind of a middle-level ABC exec down there, nice guy. And, um, and, uh, and, uh, We don't use his real name. I think we nicknamed him Daryl. That's not his real name. But so he was kind of the one. And during rehearsals,

we're changing it to where it's like me and Julie. And me and Julian, are you kidding? We're like, we're there. Like, we have a big part of this game show. We come back,

it's us. And so that's how it is. They just make this decision one day. That's what it is. And then you get to where we're shooting the thing. And we shoot the first episode that way. And we come off stage. and Nate, they sent Greg Garcia to talk to me and Julian.

By the way, Greg Garcia, I don't think he, yeah, we don't even know if we could. He might or might not have been there because he was, he came, but he came to help. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just came to be support for us. So Greg is no affiliation with ABC or anything. Greg's just there. So they watch it, and then they go and tell Greg basically, he's got to, to go tell Greg and Julian, you're not going to be on.

He goes, when we come back from the Nate Bargetse game show, it's not going to come back to Greg Warren and Julian. Yeah. Well, the way that he, and so Garcia comes up after the thing. And me and Julian, like, yeah, he got that's pretty good. And he goes, hey, guys, the network's got some notes. And I'm so dumb. I'm like, they want more of me and Julian?

And so then he goes, and Julian's a little smarter. He's like, is this going to hurt our feelings? And Greg goes, a little bit. He goes, you're not fired. He goes, but yeah, it's not. So the whole joke, the whole week was that all the big ABC people were there for the first episode. It was just that Darrell guy for the, you know, for the rehearsals. so we feel bad for darrell because he was probably uh they were all in the truck watching you know

the first episode and the abc guys were like hey darrell uh can you come here for a second um just a quick question uh i'm watching my tv and i wanted to know who are these two idiots not named Nate bargettsey that i seem to remember hiring the biggest comedian in the world not no name number one and no name one of them looks like he's 93 and then Well, Julian said, Julian? Is that way? Does he happen to be one of these idiots? It was very funny.

Look, I think it was even partly my idea, too, to have them do that. So I'm thinking like that, too. So we're all thinking, but it is funny. Then when they just come break it down and you go, hey, I don't remember buying their game show. Yeah. Because it started looking like that. And I will say, Greg Garcia, he liked telling them.

Oh, yeah. He couldn't wait. For the rest of the week, he said, hey, is there anything else you want to do I get to fire anybody else? They came into my green room, and so Greg's sitting there, and he's just sitting, hands on his knees, and then they say that, and Greg goes, all right, he goes, I'll go tell them. He was excited. And there was something else he had to go tell you all, too. He loved it. He just kept coming back over going like,

I don't know how to say this, you guys. People were terrified of him. By the end. Yeah. Our dear friends, you're like, if Greg walked over, you're like, oh, no. What? I thought that was a good episode. You're out of show business, bud.

But yes, it will be, yeah, February 25th. Uh, I've seen two episodes, uh, yeah, I don't think you have, no, I, I, it's great, uh, it's fun. Uh, it's so fun. Yeah, and it's great. And Greg and Julian are in, they're big, uh, they're a big part of, make a lot of fun jokes. And it's a show that I think is going to just continue to grow. And we wanted it, why I wanted it to be like Greg and Julian is because I wanted to feel real and be like, these are my friends. These are, uh, you know, and we're giving money to the, you know, people in the audience. In the audience, the crowd was great. Oh, you get into it, man. I mean, I do get into it. A little more, like, jumpy. I think you see it. I'm excited because it's, it's, I'm playing some games. And I also get embarrassed. We won't let you know, but it gets, it's bananas.

Okay. I get embarrassed. One in particular. Oh, yeah. One in particular. There's more than, yeah, there's more. But one is, one of them is not good. I can't wait for that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I mean, I. I'm part of the show, but when you get down to whether this person's going to win the money, I'm like, I'm... You're a fan watching. Yes, yes. And when they do, I'm going crazy. I mean, it is, you get drawn in quick.

You shoot them out of order, too, like, and so you don't know when they're going to air or not going to air. And it was like, I mean, the first day of shooting, you do a lot of them. You do, first day of shooting, we had, it was almost all, I think it was almost, if not everybody, loss and that's a bummer yeah and it was like good night dude like and then finally some people will start i think with someone won at the end then it kind of then it kind of even back out a little bit like uh but it's well yeah when someone loses i mean yeah you're like i'm so sorry yeah but they all handled it great and uh they win 10 000 you know uh and so it was it was fun so yeah so they're they yeah so that's what me and greg have been doing yeah yeah man

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year. They're so comfortable. They're so nice. Viori is an investment in your happiness. It sure is. Yeah. For our listeners, they're offering 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at vori.com slash Nate. That's V-U-O-R-I-R-I. com slash nate exclusions apply visit the website for full terms and conditions not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase but enjoy free shipping on any u.s orders over 75 dollars and free returns go to viori dot com slash nate and discover the versatility versatility of viori clothing exclusions apply visit the website for full terms and conditions uh did you this is the christmas episode yeah this comes out christmas eve yeah oh wow merry christmas

Merry Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Last week we made our big announcement. I heard it today on the elliptical machine. Oh, yeah? You already been on the elliptical machine? What is? In your car?

Is that how you drive? I do. Like Fred Flintstone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a thing. Yeah, that would be a good thing. That would be a good thing. Yes.

So, yeah, the announcement, I have not really seen how to anything. Everybody, Abigail was told. me it seems supportive and nice and it's not it's the other way no people are they're happy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so actually reading your comments to be the first time I kind of reading anything about uh what was what happened if you uh just well I don't know should we not tell someone what's going on if so what if they're listening just to this one and then they're like I don't know you know what I did see uh and we're recording this episode today the day that people are coming out a lot of people are like hey how about

a spoiler alert because i haven't watched yet because people are posting about it oh and people are seeing the post before they're seeing the episode so like how about a little heads up oh yeah how do we do that like we should do that yeah we should no no not us they're mad at the people who are posting about it because they're on fan pages yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well it's out there uh spoiler alert I guess we do it now. Spoiler alert. I resigned from my position. No, you quit.

He quit us. I heard that, man. He quit us, man. It felt like that. Yeah. We got laid off. He quit. Yeah.

Yeah, I heard so. The podcast's still going, though. Some people were unclear about that. Oh, yes. The podcast is still going. Yeah. We got a new name. We're going to release a new name.

We're just dumping the dead weight. Do we know the date? Yeah. Boom. Do we know the date? January, 28th, 28th, 78, 27? Yeah. And there's a new name? Wednesday, January 28th, new name, you will see Aaron, Dusty, and Brian. And so yeah, you really won't miss, you won't, there won't be a no, there's not going to be, it be seamless, right into it. Same feed. This will be on. Yeah, so, yeah, we're going to have some.

We'll get rid of that. I think y'all will get rid of that now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you might as well. Just one thing goes. It's sad, but. You got to start somewhere.

You got to, yeah. So, yeah, some, yeah, stuff will be gone. Yeah. But it'll be just seamless right into it. You know, probably a little more serious, not funny. Yeah. That's the hope. That's the new thing.

Yeah. That's what we're going for. Yeah. There's no. way. There's no way. And I'm going to start another podcast called the Nate Land Podcasts with three other people.

This is just my way to get rid of him. No, I think it's going to be like George Costanza when he quit his job and then he just shows back up. Like, I never have it. Like, what, that? Took that serious? I hope I get to come back. But it won't. Or aren't we doing a podcast on the cruise? Yeah, yeah. So the cruise, I'll be back on y'all. I'll be again.

guest on y'all's podcast well we'll see yeah there is a lot of comics uh-huh that's true you're not gonna let him on he might not we said we'll see gregg we'll talk about it off air i'm just it's the natland cruz and you're not going to let him on the podcast the very book nick novicky uh all right we will start your podcast your comments chris mertz this one hurts been here from nearly the beginning this has been come uh part of my weekly routine for years. Happy to hear that Brian, Aaron, and Dusty will keep the pod going in some capacity, in their full capacity, in their own. And hopefully Nate will be a frequent guest. Nate, you're the best. Thank you. Thanks, Chris. That's what I hope it's all like.

We should stop now. Yeah. Yeah, I saw something. Yeah. Jesse Rothacker, we know Jesse. Our affection and connection with Nate Land can't be put into words. These last few years, we all got to be a part of something so special. It's like, Andy Bernard's quote from the finale of the office, I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days because you've actually left them. Before you actually left. Okay, I didn't say that right. I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Except this time we did know, we all knew Nate Land was the good old days. So I did say right for what Jesse was going towards. That's pretty cool. Yeah. That's a nice. Aaron, you didn't like that? You disagree. No, it was good.

It was a good comment, Jesse. Why do you disagree with that? I disagree with you defending you misstay in the quote. I said it right. You said, I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days because you've actually left. I know, but when you add his sentence next to it, I think it makes it correct. Okay. Yes.

Really? Yeah, all right. You're leaving soon. There's no point of fighting this. Just let it happen. Just let it happen. He'll be gone soon. He'll be gone soon.

Yeah, just write it out. Uh, uh, uh, uh, Lissa C, this pot has been my number one since the first episode. I really hope Breakfast Dusty and A.A. Ron, keep it going with an occasional Greg Warren guest spot. Oh, yeah. Like I said, we'll talk about all that kind of stuff. Yeah. Do I have to resubmit? It might be. Oh, he wants to, can he submit videos from this podcast to show that he has been good on podcast? Yeah, put together a five-minute compilation of your best stuff. A sizzle reel. A sizzle reel of the Nate podcast. Yeah. I think that's fair, Greg. I think that's fair. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I don't know. I mean, I was on here quite a bit. You've been on here quite a bit. Yeah. Too much, some would say. Yeah. Yeah, that's the next

comment. I knew it's going to be. This is like when the back when I was coming up out in L.A. and I'd finally get into the improv, Melrose Improv, and then the Booker would change. Yeah. And now, yeah, I've got to go through a whole thing again. Oh, yeah. You got to know the whole process. Yeah. It's not Charlie Chaplin anymore? That's what I believe you started. I hit Nate. You go, Chuck's not booking it? Chuck Chap?

Stephen Rogers came on the consumers this week, and he was talking about we were all on tour, and he said something. I said, I said, I said something about, I remember the stamps. He's like, you remember when the stamp was invented, don't you? And I go, I bet you Nate liked that when he goes, Oh, you kill. It killed.

And then I went off on her, I was like, Nate is one of the most prolific comics in history. But when it comes to, like, taking shots at me, he's a one-trick pony. It's one-trick. Yeah, it's just, he's got his, oh, yeah, Greg's old. And we go down that route. It's a fun route.

Those are ones, that's not about the audience. That's about me. It's for me. You know when a comic says they tell a joke, that one was for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All my Greg worn stuff's for me. Yeah, yeah.

And you could be like, I mean, it does with me, if somebody was 47, you would. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I'd call everybody fat. I am, I'm a complete fat mess right now. I'm the worst. I would kill to have Greg's body right now. That's not a compliment. I think I would be more, I guess.

I'm a mess. I'd have Greg's. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly. Look, if I had Bates' body where you just couldn't see my nipples, I'd be Tom Cruz Take Jake Jake geese

or gooseen Gussie That's pretty good If people got that Did you get it? I didn't get it Oh Brian Regan Yeah

Jake geese Moosen But he says Goosen Mennie Muson He says gooseing Because that's the joke Where he gets two laughs

I saw a flock Of geese Yeah Yeah Moose Yeah because you think Yeah right Goosen

Does he say Gusin I don't know That's a solid Mousin Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Get it out.

I mean, I think it's a great joke. I wish we got the tonight show, Greg. That's all gone, man. It's all good. The last deal. He's nervous because he's auditioning for. I know.

Now, I got, like, these guys are going to have his back, Nate. You better pick it up a little bit, Greg. Yeah.

They're going to be a hole on the cruise ship. They won't even let us near their rooms. Do you guys got Chase making notes over there? Does that say D minus? Jake Geese. The two goats, Nate and John Senna, Sina. John Sina. Sorry, I know.

I knew that. The two goats, Nate and John Sina. John Sina. He's a goat. He's a goat. The two goats, Nate and John. Sina. Giving it up in the same week.

Can't wait to see the fan boo. breadhead baits out of the arena the next step so he's yeah he retired retiring man I thought did he retire though and then unretire or is this the has he been like very

I guess he goes you go active and not as active that's right so we are literally doing the same thing because I was active to kind of in and out just big storylines I came in for uh yeah Nate also took this took his clothes off

yeah this is Nate leaving the same stage at Zanis at our live show. Yeah. Right here. Yeah. But emotional moment for a lot of people all across America. Yeah. That's real wrestling right there.

Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, it's got to be such a tough. Because, I mean, I remember when he came in and then, like, just as big as he got. And, like, that's, I can't imagine. Where were that? In Georgia. Denver or Chicago? I don't know.

I was trying to look at jerseys. Yeah. I mean, just to, that is a crazy, I, you do, I think about that, you know, it's, I mean, not that I'm arrested, but, you know, you're doing shows and like, you just staying there. Imagine just, imagine just, you think about your last show, like you're, you know, you're just going to be saying, you know, nothing. Every time I'm on stage. Right. Is this that, folks? Right before your show shots, you hear someone go, is this his last show? Wow. And there he goes. Yeah, that's all. Congrats, man.

Marcia Morgan Coke. This makes the Nateland Cruise in February even more special. I'm looking forward to it even more now. All right. We have some fun. We have a couple of little fun surprises too on there. So that cruise. So if you got on that, you're going to get to see some stuff we won't say.

But it's, yeah, it'll be fun. But thank you. Kelly Manning from the Manning family We've had a good run Can't believe we aren't going to get the Nate Dusty swim race And the Brian Aaron

Playing golf by throwing the ball Well we can still make that work We could do that on the cruise We can still make that work We're gonna How about I tell you I'll make that work Okay swim race

Yeah me and Dusty are going to race Swim and then Brian Well I don't know if you really think you could Did you say you could throw a golf ball? No no no I'm supposed to play with clubs. Well, that's two different things. One, him saying he could,

but really it started with him saying he could beat me in golf by just throwing it. Yeah. Oh, yes. But then we also wanted the baseball thing too. Yeah, then it became

just about me throwing a ball 100 yards. Well, we can do, we can do, we might be able to do all of them. Because I like, because we could go play three holes and go see what you guys can do.

Ooh, yeah, yeah. Well, three holes, I want to do 18, so his arm's just dead by the fifth hole. We can play 18. You don't think you're going to be tired of it for three holes, Brian? Yeah. How about this? We have to walk the three holes.

Okay, let's do two. Well, you want to play nine holes? Sure. Or 18. If you want to golf, look, I want to golf, so I'll go out with you. Let's do 27. I'll play 18. Can Aaron, you'd be fine throwing for 18?

Yeah. Yeah. I think I like the three, the three hole idea. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah. But then you get some Krispher, to energize yet for the next.

We can do, but he's got to get warmed up too. I would say you could be fair, six or nine. Okay. To like, because you, that is right, you're going to be the more warmed up at the beginning, and he will be more warmed up at the back. Okay. So it might be nine holes.

Yeah. All right. Then I'm a smoke dusty and racing. Caleb Driscoll. Well, you only have to change one letter. It can be the baitland podcast. I like that. Yeah, that's what I suggest.

I'm trying to have this do well. Eight. Yeah. It could be the eight land or the date land. Eight land for you. Just take the end off. Yeah, eight land. Do that thing.

Eight land. Yeah, that's not. We don't have to go build a new letter. We're just going to knock the end off. The eight land podcast. That's better than anything. you got. Rachel Baber Ray.

I remember when Nate posted on Facebook that he was starting a podcast. I had just seen Aaron and was so excited it was the two of them. I vividly remember listening to the very first episode driving home from work. It became my weekly work drive listen. I drive two plus hours to my job about once per week. So it was the perfect length. I'll miss it tremendously. I guess you stopped.

listening she says I'll miss it no I know did you say she didn't oh what was she wasn't no she never mentioned you oh yeah that's true

yeah that was funny yeah she goes I vividly yes remember just Aaron and Nate just going and it was great

what about Brian Rachel who yeah what if she doesn't know about Brian yet yeah that's true she's gonna find out

well who's this new guy I don't know. Yeah. Matt Fultz. Remember that time they tried to change the podcast to one hour and then reversed course after the folks were heard? Let's try that again. This one, I don't think you, yeah.

This one, it needs to happen. But that was a big moment. I'm proud of that moment. Yeah. Because it was like, that's what you, I mean, look, you can't just do everything, but we tried it. And then it's like, they just, I don't know if you were, were you, you would have been on it by then. Yeah, I mean, no, I was, you know, I'm on the fan page.

I saw what was going on. Yeah, it was an angry mob. They revolted. Yeah. Yeah, everybody was like, she's supposed to be one. It would have heard a little bit if they were like, thank God. Yes. It's half.

You guys did it? How about 45? Yeah. Yeah. See Bailey. I know Nate would say we haven't lost a friend, but in reality it really won't be. be the same of course i'll listen to a new podcast meanwhile plug the consumers podcast because those guys are great too yes is great if you have watched if you haven't watched them yet you won't be

disappointed very in very entertaining great stories of the road too yeah i think that's a big one go check out the consumers thanks my podcast doing great people everybody loves it yeah we're get you know yeah we've improved i want to say that yeah i think so too yeah uh i haven't seen it yet but he's He's heard about it. From what I've heard. Mason Thompson. I propose we make a Nate Land Consumers Trade. Ooh.

This is interesting. Nate Land receives Greg Warren. The consumers receive Brian Bates in a 2008 second round fit. Well, come on, guys. I mean, that's... I like that. I like... I think he were at the first round.

Bates is our... He's our most frequent guest. Yeah. He just goes on there. Him and Nickerson just go on there and take cheap shots at me. And that's how. And Sean and Tim love it. And it's just, it's fun.

It's cheap. It's cheap laughs. It is so funny to think that we just do trades in part. Would you do that? Just shoot me off to San Diego? Yeah, I'm not saying. With Dustin? We got a trade.

we got a trade all right we got Nate Land receives Greg Warren the consumers received Brian Bates in a 2028 second round

pick all right is that a good pick no one saw that coming is that a big one Greg's got I kind of moved to Nashville he's got a move to Nashville Greg's got a little wear and tear

on him but they think they can still get some out of them. Do you think the Brian Bates trade, the younger of the two, going with that 2028 second round pick? Who knows how that's going to be? But I'd imagine maybe Nate lands in the tank

by then, so it could be a high pick. That was perfect. That's great. Yeah. Is that Tristan? That was Aaron, man. That was great. Good job, Aaron. Dude, for a split second. I was like,

What are you doing, man? It took five years. I got one end. That was great, man. Right when he's leaving. Yeah. I'm a big, Cynthia Campbell. I'm a big fan of Greg Warren.

I live in West Virginia, and I've traveled two hours to see him in Pittsburgh and four hours to see him in D.C. At both venues, there was some pretty serious heckling. Was this heckling a fluke, or is it pretty much standard for the old Greg Warren show? also it's my goal to get a photo with him on the Nate Land Cruise because I was too intimidated to ask for one at his shows probably because all the heckling

please tell me how I can make that happen well we'll make it happen in a very nice nicer environment than Greg Warren show I don't know, man I didn't know that was going on you bring the riffrapp in his club I do I do I ran that tonight show set I had a corporate gig on Saturday

in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and I was like, I was in Michigan. I was like, my buddy's headline in the Detroit Comedy Club, Mark Ridley's. I was going to go down and run at both shows. Just get it right, feel good about it. And I went down there, and the second show, they were like rowdy, like an orthodontist party or something,

and I ate it so hard. And they were not paying attention and heckling. And I was, it shook me. I'm like, no, I shouldn't be doing this, my show. It's, yeah, yeah. I always say that you want to run it in that kind of position because then you're like, it can't be worse than what I just. It was so bad, man.

I think it's a good thing. I think it helps you. Like, I would always try to, I've talked about that thing, but I'd always go run it in a tough, in a tough room just to make sure I can get through the jokes. Well, we were saying before it's tough because any other show, you would switch things up or say something or address it. But if you're just running the set and you're kind of married

to that. Did you address it? No, because I was like, what good does that do me? If I step out of the set, I'm here to just work on the set. So I just stuck to my guns. And these girls up front just stared me down. Like, what are you doing? Why would you make us listen to this?

Yeah, the environment they're in is, well, I'm going to be on the Tonight Show. And it's like there's just nothing's going to connect with them, where they, you know, mine was, I think I, I probably told this story, but when I did Conan, I went to an open mic and I asked if I could, I go, hey, can I run in New York? And I go, can I run my set? I'm going on Conan tomorrow. And he goes, I can put you on at the end? It was an open mic. I was like, is this not, this wasn't big enough to you. He's like, yeah, I mean, go up at the end, that'd be great.

It's probably when I open my, we got to protect the integrity of the subject. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was my first cone. I mean, I was basically still, you know, you're kind of an open mic or still, so you kind of think, this is your dream just to go to an open mic and be like, hey guys, I got something for you. I got to go work on something. I'm working on something. And then they're like, yeah, we all are. Yes, well, I will, I will continue to get to see.

see read more comments and but I do thank you very much for uh the support and uh I was asking and it seems yeah it seems we've been everybody's been very supportive and uh very nice and uh it's yeah it's the uh yeah it means it really doesn't mean a lot uh you guys are the best and uh you guys I mean who I've almost been talking to all my goals or, you know, it's been tidbits of stuff. It's been on this podcast. And so thank you very much. And, yeah, they're going to do a great podcast.

Also, so we have the trailer for... All right. I'm excited about this. Yeah. So the trailer will be out. When does it come out? Friday the 19th. So it would have already been out.

You probably all would have seen it. So we have it early. but we're going to show it to Aaron and Bates. And Greg is welcome to watch. Feel free to keep your eyes open. Yeah. But they have not seen the trailer yet. It's very exciting.

So, I mean... Moms have a million things going on. That's why I invented the Star Minder. I really think you might have something. I'm going to give you an offer. Running a company is a 24-7 job. What about your husband? Could he take care of the kids?

Nate? Wait a second. Is he here? Yes. Bring him out. We are moving. We're moving. Here he comes.

What, are you kidding? Are you eating a donut? There's no garbage can up there. You can finish it. No, wrong. I'm out of here. I'm out. I'm out.

Your wife is having the moment of her life and you're stuffing your face? You're a bozo. I thought, are you not a talk if you're already out? Lori thinks I might have something, but are you sure you can handle this? I'm the top salesman at the dealership. I think I can handle a month alone. You act like I'm going to blow the house up. Bye.

Dad, the front door is locked. There's a wind in the back. We'll crawl through that. This isn't in the 1950s. Dad, stay home all the time. This is not going to go well. Dad, you're going the wrong way. To your school?

To any of our schools. Do you not know where our schools are? I'm going to go wrong. What? No, give me the phone. Stay on. Hi, what's up? What's going on?

on here? Your wife had called to replace your roof. You're hired. Really? I'm going to just make a call. I called all the top rated places. I also called this guy because his bid was so low, I thought I could use it against the others. Who did you go with? One of the real good ones. Nate will come. How you doing, Shiven? Hanging in there. There's a lot of chores. I'll get two weeks of T-shirts and two weeks of underwear. What happens after two weeks? We throw all this out and start over. Hi. I wanted to check and see how you were doing.

Yeah, great. Sir. Sorry. I'm sorry. Really great. The most great. She makes it look so easy, but it's so hard. This has the potential to change all of our lives.

Trust me, I'm not going to let you dream die. Ah! Okay, well, that's mostly on the horse. Okay, are we ready? It's just a little wax. Wait, are you still? Action! Oh, it's awesome.

Great, man. Here we go. That's great. Yeah, it's, I mean, yeah, it's crazy, man. I've seen the movie. And when I watched that for the first time, it was, it's like, it's just very, it's weird. It's like, it's just hard to, because I'm kind of watching it too to make, you know, it's like, if there's, you know, because you're making tweaks and stuff and going. So you kind of watched it with that angle and then I've seen clips, but it's like really crazy to see.

But seeing that trailer to me was, it was, I really couldn't. believe it. Like, to see the horse, Sony, TriStar, like, all the stuff that you've seen. And then when you're watching it, you're like, it doesn't even, you're like, I don't even feel like it's me. It's like, it was just such a...

It's because it started from a blank piece of paper, right? Yeah. You've seen it from the very beginning. Yeah. And now here's the trailer for it. Yeah. And I mean, the trailer is, I am in love with the trailer. Oh, yeah. The shark tank guys were great. The shark tank. Yeah. Kevin O'Leary. Yeah. I thought

was Shark Tank commercial or something. Yeah. It took me a second we know we were in it. Yeah, yeah. It's very, very exciting. And it's, yeah, I was, yeah, I don't know.

I'm so excited about it. And I think it, you know, should feel like that kind of throwback movie that's going to be fun for everybody to go see and go out and enjoy it. And, yeah, it's wild. Was there a stuntman for something?

that stuff? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's pretty big. Next one I'm going to do my stunts. Yeah. Man, maybe Tom Cruise.

Full time. I'm going to go full Tom. Yeah. Yeah, they had, they're seeing, I bet if we paused it, it might have seen y'all. Yeah. Y'all, we saw the truck. I saw you fall. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rewin that and see, you can see me. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be my new frame of my profile. Yeah.

Well, that's, that's all you're going to see in the movie. Yeah. It's theatrical, you know, so everybody goes see it. Yeah, I mean, that's, me talking about leaving this podcast is essentially kind of this. I still think you want to go do stuff with your family. And you want to go to movie theaters and you want to go, you know, theme park. You want to go do stuff and go out. I see it at the show.

So that's the, I really want to build that world and that trust. I want you to be able to come out and go do that. And I hope I'm, hopefully I'm right, you know. Maybe no one wants to, you know. But hopefully I think people do. And so I know I do. I like it. And so, yeah, March 13th.

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to get context. Let 1-800 contacts get you. The contact lenses you need right now. Order online at 1-800 contacts.com or download the free 1-800-com. contacts app today. All right. So this episode... All right. It's Christmas Eve. This is our sixth Christmas episode that we've done.

Because we started. Yeah. You know, 2000. Right. So we've covered pretty much every angle of Christmas. 2020. Right? Yeah, I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's all the same to you. You've been the same age basically that whole time. You know what? ages that where you are basically the same age for the most. Yeah. Right where you're eating, boys are sitting?

Yeah. Yeah. Where you're just kind of like here to the end, it's got to be. It doesn't even matter. It doesn't really matter. You got a joke in your act right now that is really ringing true. Yeah. And I've heard it so many times, but it sort of registered me one day.

You sort of talk about in your 40s, you're like, man, you're struggling with. And then you get to your 50s and you're like, I'm doing good. like it doesn't bother me yeah yeah that's generally it all of it no no it's it is I mean it hit home I was like when I was in my 40s like this is just not good

I'm I'm I don't know what it's going on and then my 50s I'm just like it's it happened man yeah yeah yeah it's you accept it more yeah you do yeah yeah so I'm going a little different angle on this Christmas episode but I will share

just some quick Christmas facts about Christmas 2025 it's on Thursday this year what do you

what do you think well I got a follow-up point he goes is that the was that you looked that up or the research research a little thin this week it's on Thursday this year

is what you're opening up with wow we got to the bottom of that he goes uh yeah Nate Tud's it until the 25th, too.

What? My goodness. That's crazy. All right. If we had a research team, then maybe they would give us something like that. You're a research team. I am. I am.

But I have a follow-up point to this, guys. What do you think is the best day of the year for Christmas to fall on? I'm sorry. of the week. Sunday. See, as a kid, that was my least favorite because we were going to go to church. My parents were going to make us go to church. And as a kid, I wanted to stay home and play with my toys.

So that was my least favorite. That's a good point. Well, you wouldn't go to church on Christmas if it wasn't on Sunday? Y'all would go to church, like, you know. My reason was the exact opposite. If Christmas fell on a Sunday, I can get a two-for-one with church. like the regular Sunday church would count as the Christmas church

because you're going to go you're on Christmas day we would legit go if Christmas was on Saturday we would go two days in a row yeah yeah so that's why I want to knock two two out of the same

you can just do whatever you want and just have forgiveness every day that's what y'all just go when you kind of yeah I think it's written like that in the cat's whatever you want what is it I want to say need by need

but it's not that's not the right as needed As needed, as needed. Our need by need, you show up. Yeah, that's with the Catholic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if Christmas was on Wednesday, you wouldn't go to church on a Wednesday? We might go Wednesday night. Okay, but Wednesday's not a Monday. You wouldn't go on a Monday? Thursday, no. Are you kidding me? I thought, I thought me, that's a pretty big part of Christmas. They will have church week leading up to it. I don't know what our church is doing this.

but it's very long where they started like the 20th. A lot of times they ask you just come to one because they have to so many people come. You can't, you know, it's like, and they want people that go to the church regularly actually to go on like the 21st, 22nd, like stuff like that, because whatever leading up to it. I think if the 25th was on Christmas, on Sunday, you would go to church. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. My parents were going to make me go, but I wanted to stay home play with my toys that I just got. I didn't have to go to church.

So that was my least favorite. Yeah. It fell on Sunday. He was like Pistakarian, whatever. It's like a church like that. A piscuit. It just sounds like that. Sticacarion.

A what? Pespaperian. He goes, we went to Pespiparriary. I don't know. Yeah, I just wanted to make it up. Just to come late, it's like some. Yeah, you did. We're on Pespatarian time.

And you go, well, they, you know, they have, they had turkeys up. they'd sacrifice turkeys on Thanksgiving you go that's this was in the 40s man he goes pescatarian stuff was the biggest they had ever been isn't pescatarian mean you eat fish

yeah yeah but they didn't and that's that was the catch yeah yeah yeah I think maybe Thursday is one of the best I would think if you're employee that's to take off that Friday anyway. You got a nice four-day weekend. And then you go back to work

the following Monday. Yeah. This is going to sound pathetic. You wish we didn't have it because you're alone? I'm sorry. Man, that sounds a little pathetic. That, I mean, I'm sorry. No, that's not. There's nothing, there's not a party that's sorry. Yes, but I don't want that to come out. That's why he's leaving. That's before we're seeing the real hymn. not sorry. I know, but it's kind of stand up. He's not at all sorry. I don't want my brain to think of that. Yeah, I wish it didn't. It did, though. I can't help it. Craig, I can't help it. And what I was going to say was down the right, that road, I was saying just as a comic, if that thing falls on Wednesday or Thursday, you got that weekend. Yes. That's a good weekend. It's a good weekend. It's a good weekend. It's

Because they're going out. Yeah. They're going out. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. And Sunday, too. Every night in between Christmas and New Year's, they're going out.

And that's the way it falls this year. And I'm doing 14 shows in Kansas City. And I thought I was pretty happy about it until Nate said that thing about it. I got to reexamine a few. Are you going to go home on the priorities? Are you going to go home on the 25th? No, I'll stay in the condo. Man, if you're in the condo on Christmas,

that's horrible, horrible. You know those comics. I think I've been stuck out on Christmas. One time I did. Yeah. Yeah, it was terrible. Yeah. Weather, I got stuck out.

You remember where you were? Cincinnati. Okay. Yeah. I feel like that's 30 minutes from St. Louis. You couldn't drive. He's the name in the same city. He goes, where were he?

Yeah, St. Louis. What are you talking about? My mom was like, don't buy her. Yeah, we don't want you to drive. Mom, it's 30 minutes. No, no, it's not safe. How long Cincinnati is in St. Louis? It's five and a half, man.

You could drive, man. I waited all day. Is this back? Is he living in Cincinnati? No, I was living in St. Louis. This is pre-interstate. No, I was, I was, it was, it was like. This is back when you could, like, just walk up to a car and get the keys and drive it all.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't remember. I was, I think I waited. all day for a flight. Yeah. And then they canceled it. Like, I think they canceled it.

And I had to be back for shows like next day or something. Yeah. I felt terrible. I called my mind. Yeah. Shout out, yeah. Shout out to actually all the comics. Five and a half hours.

Yeah. That's Indianapolis. I did. I was just saying you're going through it. Yeah. I did it. Yeah. He's telling me how long it takes.

I'm confirming what you said. I'm trying to back you up with facts. Yeah. It's just some reason those two cities I think people from New York might think those are the same two cities people from L.A. and New York are like, is it St. Louis, Cincinnati?

Is that like the town? Yeah. Yeah. Shout out though. Yeah, people get stuck on the road traveling. I, you know, it's tough. Well, Southwest had that thing. Yeah. Remember?

Hey, well, tell me before you do this. 14 shows of Kansas City Improv. I think so. Is it a record? The comedy club of that. Kansas City. The Comedy Club of Kansas City. Yeah. It's a record.

Yeah. It's a record. Yeah. He's doing 14 shows. Yeah. How crazy is that? Yeah, we pulled it up last week. Oh, you did?

We said 12, but yeah. Come on, man. Come on, man. He's at 14, no. Cut me. Talk about it. Hey, can we keep adding? He goes, yeah.

I'll go into the new year. He goes, I'm waddle. He goes, where do you want to do? We tried to, but they're, yeah. Oh, they just added an ad of the show. Yeah. Wait a minute. Is that thing not sold out then?

That's embarrassing, man. That's embarrassing. No, I think they just had. It wasn't on there and they had it. I swear it's that thing. It's sold out. Yeah, you can't get more than two tickets for that. No.

You still haven't sold out New Jersey? But you can buy 101 tickets, but you can't get to. It's not true. I'm telling you. Look, front row table sold out. The party table sold out. It was sold out. There's just a couple preferred.

Oh, yeah. No, you can't. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's sold out. They would have just asked. You're right. There's exactly two tickets available.

On New Year's Eve, 6 p.m. Two tickets available. Yeah. So pretty good week. I want to point out this is all because I opened for Nate in Kansas City. This is why this happened. He said that last week. He said that a few episodes.

Yeah, there's people that are like, well, we can do this. I'm like, hey, you need to remember. I was in front of 40,000 people. Yeah, that definitely helps. Yeah, but that shows a lot. Yeah, yeah. That's, that's, he murdered so hard. I opened for Nate in Rochester, and I had a show coming up, and some people canceled.

It's not a guarantee. They go, all right, we already saw them. We're good. And they asked Brian for the refund because it was in credit cards. So they go, can you just give us the $20 back? They'll count as tickets. sold. Derek sold like nine in about 20 minutes, I think.

Yeah. In Denver or Salt Lake City. Salt Lake, yeah. Yeah, Columbus, Ohio, Vecione, Vecone. Had a showed you had, did you have some? I've done a few. Denver assault, two shows at Comedy Works and then Milwaukee Improv I sold out. Yeah.

Birmingham? Birmingham sold out almost two shows. That Kansas City thing was the club owner called me. He didn't know I was in town. Yeah. Yeah. And he called me during, I think you were still on stage. And he goes, what is going on?

He goes, where are you? I go, I told you, man. I'm doing, I'm open for Nate. He's like, they're buying tickets, right? Yeah. I mean, it's pretty, yeah. It's, I mean, added, you were at four, right? Yeah, four.

And then I would have been, if we sold out the early, yeah. I would have been real happy. If we sold that, if I was like, we just sell out early Saturday. You still haven't sold out all your release. You still got two. Yeah, there's still two left. If we, anybody listen to this, we would love for you not to buy those two tickets.

And we might even ask the club, could those two seats be up front? Yeah. Could we leave two empty seats up front just on that 6 p.m. show just to level Greg out a little bit. Maybe is that what you promoted for the tonight show was, hey, he's got two seats. And we can't move them. He goes for the life of us. We can't find two more people. I'm going to buy them as soon as it's so rude.

You know I'm buying them as soon as... And you have two people. It's us. Can me and Brian come sit in the front row? No, not after the thing about being alone at Christmas. I know what you're going to do. You're going to heckle me or whatever. We're going to Vanderbilt's bowl game so we can go straight from the bowl game to Kansas City.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks, man. It's a big deal. I mean, it was a narrow cheap win over Missouri, but it was... No, yeah. Oh, that was.

We beat you. I watched it in front of you. It was Nate, and Nate, and I'm the only Missouri fan in there. And it's Nate and about 10... Guys pretending to be Vanderbilt. True Vandy fans and five that were, Nate couldn't care. They were just kissing up to Nate and like, you don't care. Chase loves Vanderbilt.

Chase, I... yeah i was on my own on that one uh there is one bowl game wait what we go say about southwest oh sorry we said where they got stuck out well there was a christmas oh three or four years ago where their their whole system went down the system crashed and it was and there was people didn't get home for christmas and i'm a big southwest fan i like the company but yeah they struggled i think they tried to make it right but yeah there were people that just didn't get home yeah yeah traveling's just like yeah it's it's yeah we got we got stuck one time traveling but yeah but the holiday the day I always think I'm trying to think uh I can

sometimes you can get anxious around Christmas like any kind of because it's like you got a am I getting the right gifts yeah for everybody huh because that to be with my family But you gotta, you know I can get out there on the road Well, do I need The biggest comic in the world And I'm falling backwards Look at Greg's working

I know So much and I'm off I'm gonna go do I'm gonna try to open for it Do some guesties Oh yeah man But it's No it's

You're yeah It's like you know Are you getting everything for everybody You know That kind of it could sometimes can feel like anytime you feel like this has to be the greatest time of our lives or this this this has to be the best day of anything it needs to go it's got to be better day than any other day there's there's a little bit of pressure yeah and i do love chris i do love when we're all there because we do

i'm not saying i don't love it but i think leading up to it you can feel stressful then the day when it gets there and you know my family we're always like you know the kids we get a lot of kids there So we'll play games and go, you know, it might be some good weather. Might be a walk on a golf course this year, which is nice. Because usually they're closed, but you can just kind of walk it, which is fun. And if my mom and wife let me. But it's, but like, yeah, we get to come out and we do stuff. We play, you know, play games.

So I do love it. I love Christmas. But it's, yeah. Yeah, I don't know what day though I think I had like a week I think I I feel like I wanted to blend in with a It might be the comic answer too

Where you're like I just don't want to mess with my weekends Yeah Wednesday or Thursday So you just go I'd rather what would be nice Yeah would be a Wednesday or Thursday Because then I could You'd have two great Yes Like you have two great weekends

Yeah And that would be So I think my answer would be a comic answer where it's maybe Tuesday or maybe Tuesday. Yeah. Maybe Wednesday, Tuesday. Because Thursday, you work Thursday because they'd be adding, because that's a big week. Yeah. 26th on the Thursday is like nice.

That'd be a Wednesday. Yeah, so that'd be a Wednesday. Yeah. But, yeah. Yeah, maybe Wednesday. Well, it also will dictate what day of the week New Year's is on next week, right? So what do you prefer that to be on? what day i think that's a one-off so like i know but it can be part of a long weekend like it is

it's on a thursday this week uh or this wednesday yeah if new year's day was on is that you're talking about new year's day or eve i guess new year's eve yeah so it'd be it's on a wednesday then yeah this week and so uh yeah i would think yeah uh most people now that would be fine because then it's if it's so if it's always on a wind So, oh, it's on Thursday. So then it would have been on a Tuesday. I'd tell you what, maybe a Tuesday's not bad because you could probably do New Year's Eve. You get away with, if it's 31st, you know, then you're off Wednesday, then maybe they let you stay that Thursday.

Yeah. And then you just work that weekend. Yeah. Yeah, I remember those. Yeah. Yeah. So that's not bad either. You think it'd be like every seven years it would fall for each day.

But because of leap year, there's times where it may be 20 years before it falls. on a particular day. Really? Oh, really? The last time it was on a Thursday was 2014, but there were some days that it hasn't been in forever. If it just happens to fall just right with that leap year. Yeah.

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I was messing up your back too. I was sitting sideways. Yeah, yeah, you were at an angle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure it was responsible for my lower back pain because I was seeing on it like it was a throw pillow.

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After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them and please support our show and tell them that our show sent you. There is one bowl game on Christmas Eve, of the Hawaii Bowl. Yeah. University of Hawaii versus Cal this year. I think I would enjoy playing in that.

Notre Dame played it in 2009. There's a lot of fun. Yeah. The whole family watched the night before Christmas. Yes, and I even think if you played or went to it, it would be nice because you have something to do. Yeah.

Like, so you're just like, oh, yeah, we got, I mean, I know the player, you know, yeah, it is. You know everybody's watching it. Yeah. Notre Dame was supposed to go to Hawaii Bowl this year, right? Except they backed out. Didn't care to.

Didn't care. Yeah, yeah. I'm envious. Y'all don't go to bowl games on Tuesdays? I'm, I'm actually envious of you, that your program is in such a place that you can find meaning

in something like the Pop-Tarts bowl. This would actually be huge for our school. It would be the biggest day in Vanderbilt history if we were to win the Raleigh, quest bowl. I'm actually jealous of that. I'm actually jealous of them. Yeah, yeah. The arrogant. When did y'all win your championship last? 88 should have won it in 93.

Errigal. So what I would say is to that, is I respect, because you've made it to the championship and you've lost by 90. So. We barely lost last year. But it wasn't to who. Ohio State. Yeah, but it was, they were winning. Okay. You knew they were going to win. The Alabama Yeah, he didn't even... That was bad. That was embarrassing. Okay. And so the fact that y'all keep thinking your Alabama, Ohio State...

Like, you, like, you know, it's like you don't know everybody's past you. Right. And you just haven't accepted it yet. Okay. So even something in your age is living in a world of, like, you brought up 88. When were you born? 91. That's what I mean.

Yeah, yeah. Like, that's crazy to be bringing... I don't bring up... How many years before you don't bring up what? You're five and seven? season from the 80s? My 1915 season. 1915, we were 9 and 2. I think we won back-to-back national championships in the 20s.

Yeah, in the 20s, I think we were on top of it. We beat Suwani? He don't bring that up, he was there. The first year. Yeah. He beat Suwanis. Suwanis was unbelievable. Suwanis was very good.

That's the University of South, right? Yeah, they were the Alabama. They were the first Alabama. The Swahony. Yeah, out of your mind. Notre Dame couldn't beat them right now

a 1920 Sawani y'all couldn't beat them I got a college like Pamfoot in the mail from Sawani yeah

that's a real place in the universe they go look we just won we go we came in second place to Vandy

why don't you come wrestle for us I'm pretty sure Sawani and Vanderbilt used to play each other yeah did you almost get drafted

and that's why you weren't allowed to go I just want to make sure I'm Korean War? Is it Korea? Is it WW1? Is it WW2? I think it's all of them. I think you were eligible for all of them. This is why I love it when you're here. Thank you. I just want to know, is it, is it, because I think in his mind it's WW1. I think that's what he thinks. It's WW1. I like that it's

all over. Greg, did you get trench foot? Yeah. Could someone have been available? Could you be available to be drafted in all of them? Not Korean War. There are guys that fought in... They've... WW2 in Korea, probably. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And maybe the tail end of Vietnam, too. I don't think you could do WW2 in Vietnam. That was about a... Yeah, I'm talking about if you could still be in the military. You could be in your 50s and 60s. Yeah, about a 30-year difference, I guess. If you'd be like a colonel or something. Yeah, you're high-ranking.

Yeah, yeah. Look of who was in the most in... Yeah. That's interesting. I mean, I'm making fun of you, Greg. I don't even know what war I was thinking about it. I picture all of them. So, well, Major General Smedley Butler, a top contender for this.

He was a U.S. military personnel in the Spanish-American War, the Philippine-American War, Boxer Rebellion, the Banana Wars, and World War I. Is that a three-star general? I think it's a three-star general. Okay, a major general. And then another major general fought World War II, Korea, and Vietnam. World War II. Wow.

Wow. I bet General Smedley, if you asked him, you go, what was your favorite war? He's going to go banana wars. I don't think there's a doubt in my mind that if you're going to go Spanish-American, you go World War I, obviously. And he goes, I got to tell you, but the Banana Wars were his bananas. I would love to look at just see Nate asked Smedley what his favorite.

He fought in three wars? What was your favorite? He fought more than three. I think you would ask them, what was your favorite war? I don't think it's a good idea. I'll level with you. I hadn't heard of the banana wars until right now. It was a series of conflicts with a military occupation, police action intervention by the United States in Central America between the end of the Spanish-American War in 1898 and the inception of the Good Neighbor Policy in 1934. So that was, the Bayana Wars were 36 years long. That might not be his favorite. I'll be the one that asked it. Did it have anything to do with bananas?

Well, I mean, it's probably that they were Banana Republic or whatever. It's Central America. They were Banana Republic or that was like. So you think nothing, you think, you think a clothing store. No banana. An actual banana was not any. I think that it's in the region where bananas grow. So that is a part of it.

It actually, a term wasn't used until 1983. So 50 years after this ended, They started calling the Banana Wars. It encompasses the entire U.S. tropical empire spanning both Roosevelt presidency. It lasted 35 years? Yeah. Wow. You don't think you would ask someone in a war.

I mean, you don't, I know it's not your favorite in like your favorite, but you want to be like, what do you remember more? Which one do you remember more? Is that a better way to say? I don't know, man. These are horrible, horrible conflicts. Which one haunts you the most at night? I agree.

Korea was a haunting. Chiquitas had a big thing in that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I agree. The honor that these guys even do this is unbelievable. But I think it's not, I think you'll be alone with them long enough. You might go.

If you had to go back to one. I mean, how do you not, you know, if you had them on a podcast. Man, if you get Smedley on a podcast. I get him. You got to come back. I got to come back. You got to come back, man. And they'll be in Dayland, I'll get him.

If you get Smedley on Nathland. If you can't just quit the podcast, you're Smedley. Yeah. All right. Smedley Butler, man, this guy. That guy is a real deal, man. We were right, though. Like, you probably, it's the high, high-ranking guys that have been in the...

At the time of his death, Smedley Butler was the most decorated Marine in U.S. military history. Yeah, man. What a dude. This guy. Built different. man his nickname's the maverick marine old gimlet eye the fighting quaker and the fighting hell devil yeah see could you ask him what his favorite one was yeah you can ask him that i can tell you dusty's least favorite yeah yeah you can completely ask him that Nate what's your favorite nickname

you could say uh did you find a war yeah yeah it's like i bet it was bananas yeah he's like yeah it was like which ones you fight no you just said bananas they'll have a little who's on first situation yeah yeah oh but that's okay I bet you. That's okay, but what I say. He has two medals of honor. You're playing who's on first with him. It's comedy.

It's not insulting people. I'm not insulting him. Two medals of honor. He died at age 58. I figured he should have got seven or eight. Yeah. Two medals are he's an under and cheaper. It should be named after him.

I think I have two. Yeah. You guys only gave him two? You know what's crazy, dude? He did that, and he said he died at 58. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

So, I mean, yeah see you got a few years to accomplish what this guy did not even a few I'm gonna this guy's Smedley Darlington Butler

oh man anyway Christmas All right so there's Merry Christmas Last year Netflix for the first time ever

show two Christmas Day games It was a debacle Was it really It was sea list celebrities people were upset it was just that was last year yeah yeah he was on Nate was on my special came out uh on Christmas Eve and so I was at the Pittsburgh Chipscape oh yeah yeah okay and my family spent Christmas uh with the with Ben Rothesberger

which was a wonderful Christmas that we had it feels like it was 30 years ago that's so crazy Yeah, that's crazy. My special route came out, is I've been out a full year. Is it full year today? Man. Wow. I mean, it feels like it's been,

I mean, right? One, it's only been one year. It's been a year since that came out. That's how slow your life is moving, Chase. Chase wants to get out of this, and it's been one year. Golly. Yeah, that's crazy.

Now, this year Netflix is doing three NFL games. so on Christmas Day That'll be fun That is fun You get games on all day I always think the players But you want to go As an NFL player

You go It's like well why don't you go Oh why don't you go You know Because it's That's the entertainment part Where you got to go You got to be doing

You got to be doing something You signed up for this That's what I tell NBA NBA is plays too NBA was always Christmas But I mean they're They're mad

I think did they stop no no no they're still doing it they're doing their usual five games they've been doing that since 2008 i've always liked the mb a christmas they usually had great they had great matchups i think the NBA could go it depends on what the matchups are for the NFL this year uh and where they lie but if they don't pick the right teams it's not going to be because you're having some games that are being played now where you're like one i mean people already out of it oh for the NFL yeah yeah yeah and they're just playing second stringers.

It might, I mean, it's getting, it's getting, like, is it not getting to where it's kind of already kind of mapped out? The playoffs? Like, where these Christmas games, like, the Chiefs are out. So is it like, is that like week 16? There's three weeks, three games left. Okay, yeah. Yeah, so it's.

So, like, the Chiefs are out. So, like, you, I mean, you're going to get, you know, like, you only got so many teams that are going to be getting in. So it's, like, really going to be interesting to see. Who could they, what game would mean? You kind of, you're already at it. Could you look up what the three games are? Yeah.

So there are three movies being released on Christmas Day. Song Sung Blue with Hugh Jackman and Kate Hudson, about a Nile Diamond tribute acts, getting some Oscar buzz. Yeah. Marty Supreme with Timothy Shalame and Gwyneth Paltrow. Okay. Also getting Oscar buzz. And Anaconda with Jack Black and Paul Rudd, not getting Oscar-Buzz.

I think the trailer will be played during Anacola. Oh, really? Oh, that's awesome, man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so go to Anaconda, see the trailer. I'm going to go. So you pick the movies that you want the trailer to appear in front of? Anaconda might be a Sony movie.

Okay. I don't know if it is. And so, like, it might be that. Why? I don't know if it's only those if you get any other. other ones. But, yeah, Anaconda might be Sony. So that's why we would have, why would it be, it is.

Yeah, so that's why it would be on that. There's another movie, too, that David, is there an animated? Oh, animated? David. Yes. So we are going to be in, we're going to be on that during the movie David. David from Angel Studios. Is that Drybar?

Yeah. No, that's Vid Angel. Oh, okay. Dry Bar is, Angel Studios is the... I know. I didn't know if Dry Bar's part of it. I think they might, there might be some world. Okay.

But Angels is the... Yeah, the overarching thing. That's the big, big, big. So, yeah. So, yeah, we're going to be on there as well. So... What were the games, Aaron? The games are Cowboys.

first the commanders, the Detroit Lions versus Minnesota Vikings, and then the Denver Broncos versus the Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah, I mean, here's the problem. It's like that Denver Kansas game. Kansas is out. Denver's in, so that would be good,

and Mahomes is out. So, like, that game's kind of like, you know. Yeah, Amazon's not happy about that one. That's the one game on Prime. And then Detroit and Minnesota, those are the Vikings out? I think the Vikings are out, though. I feel like I just watched them, and they were, like, saying they were out.

That's what I'm going off of. Yeah, there's six and eight. I think they're out. So it's like you need, like, Chicago, you need, like, all these other. Well, the fourth and I think they're out. And then the other one was, like, Dallas and Washington. And are they – is Washington out? Dallas has a 1% chance.

Okay. Oh, really? As of right now, they need to win their last three games, and they need the Eagles to lose their last 30. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, look at 0%. So Titans... Oh, the Titans are out.

Dead come it. All right, go back up. So, like, who's playing? Baltimore, Steelers, Houston, still has a chance, Jack. Keep going. Where's the Vite? Is this just...

Oh, that's AFC. Yeah, yeah. Oh, there's NFC. So NFC has... They're out. The Vikings are. Vikings are out. Yeah.

Keep going down. Washington's out. Yeah. So, Vikings are out, Washington's out. Cowboys less than 1%. Cowboys less than 1%. This is not a good line. This is not a good.

That's what I'm saying. The NBA is going to have a better, because I just don't think the game. Detroit, who's Detroit playing? Oh, the Vikings. The Vikings. So Detroit needs to win probably. Yeah.

But yeah, that's tough. Well, every game, I guess one team at least needs to win to improve the playoff scenes except that Cowboys Commanders game that's really a I mean

the Cowboys need to win it for sure if they have even something it's 1% now I'll still watch all these games as bad as they are you know they'll still be on yeah no no yeah you still

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Please support our show and tell them we sent you. So I'd call today's episode. Oh, it's not the Christmas episode? Well, can I finish my? Thought, guys. Geez. The guy says it about Christmas, man. I'll be so glad when he's gone.

You'll never be back. It'll be me and old St. Nick over there. Oh, oh, oh. The guy said it's about Christmas. Growing up, there you go. We, like, do you remember A Christmas? Like, I remember a big one from me was when I was 12. I got a snake.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah, come on. That's speak of Anaconda. Okay. What kind of snake? Red tail boa. Red tail boa.

Yeah. And it was a, it was a, it was. It was our big, it was the, it's the big Christmas we had. Like, you know, it's like My parents always did great But, you know, it's like whatever That was the, if you talk If my family ever talks about

One Christmas That's the Christmas That's the one where my dad Got like extra shows that Almost like a comic Like he had a bunch of Christmas parties Or whatever and made a little more money That month so he was able to get

I got a snake, Derek got a hamster Abigail, I figure what she got Abigail might have been She was two Oh, she was two, yeah So she got a boat She got a boat They put money away from her

And it's now worth No it's so that was a big one Yeah for me Yeah How long of that snake lasts? It lasted for a while And my dad would leave in the yard And have kids be like

What was that snake right there? And they think it's like a gardener snake And it's like a red tail boa But I mean it was It got to the point We were feeding it ice, and then you're starting to get into kind of the rat territory, and then you knew rabbits were next, and that's when it was like, all right. But my dad went to someone's house to buy it,

and the guy just had snakes, like, everywhere. Oh, man. Because they can get six feet long. Oh, my. Yeah. So once it was like, yeah, once we were like, you know, we're not in a home where you're like, we can just throw rabbits and have it eat it. But it was, yeah. And so, What happened to Derek's hamster? I think I know. That was kind of the two for, we got a two for one, that one. Yeah, the next Christmas was a little bit tighter on money. And so now, I forget what I'm Derek Samson, but it was their, my dad, like, I think maybe

gave it back to the guy or whatever. But I remember when he said he bought it. When he brought it home, though, the guy was like, you need to keep it in your shirt to warm it's like I gotta put it under my shirt he goes under your shirt on your skin

the snake needs to be so it's warm because it was cold so they had to go pick it up at a guy's house and they said and it was like you know

it was like he had the guy had snakes hanging all over the door like they almost some were loose that's a really good father yeah he put a snake

under his shirt for wow my dad's a dad yeah but my dad was always if we found a snake if you ever saw a snake If you ever saw a snake on the road, he would go get it and drive it home and show us.

It was a big snake. I thought he meant back to him at the snake's home. I thought he'd know where it lived. What? When you said he'd drive the snake home? You thought he meant the snakes? I lit it for a second. I'm like, how does he know where the snake lives?

He goes, he goes, come on, buddy. I think I got you. East, am East right? I think I thought you meant the snake would follow him home at first. Like my dad wouldn't grab it, he would just ask the snake,

do you mind just following behind me? My kids would love to see you. We had one when I was, we lived in Del Rio, Texas, and when I was five, I think five. And my dad, our memory stopped,

and there was a snake in the, middle road. I remember the snake was doing a U-shape. Yeah. I almost like a cartoon. Yeah. And my dad grabbed it because we were going to, we were, we were talking about a pescable. So we were a pescible for a second there. Okay. Talking about churches being pescatarian. What were you? Episcopal. Episcopal. Episcopalian. A Piscopalian. A Piscatian. A Piscatian. We were a Piscuitalian for a second. And, uh... You're open a little bit of everything, isn't you?

We've, yeah, we bounced. Yeah. No, I was, I was Southern Baptist. We were raised Southern brothers. They, my parents have been, they're Catholic. Yeah, yeah. They, they, they, all this stuff. So, but they got, so my dad got a snake, so he's driving.

And the way he's got to hold it, because my mom, everybody's losing it. And so my mom doesn't want it. And so he's holding it. And I'm behind my dad. And the way he's got it, the snake. snake, his face is just like, you know, like two feet from me. And, I mean, it's just like, ha, ha, like, it's very, it's upset at the situation. Yeah.

And, but my dad grabbed it to, because we're going to like a youth group thing, and then brings it, show, all the kids get them out and see it and stuff. So. It's terrifying. Yeah. What about you, Greg? What's your, um, your Christmas Eve, Christmas Day? I remember, well, we used to have these.

Was it, uh, you got a, here we go. Hey, let him go. Let me do it. You got one of those, that BB gun. Red Rider. Because you got to, is it, did you go see that movie at the theater? And then went home and bought a Red Rider. Shoot your eye out.

Yes. That movie was. That movie's from like the 80s. It is. Oh, so that's a compliment. So I did gummit. Should have went with it. It's a wonderful life.

Yeah, a wonderful life. Man, I'm falling apart. See, this is why I'm leaving. I'm losing. I'm losing. You could have gone. Christmas Carol. Christmas Carol.

It's a wonderful life would have been. That's a nice one. Did you live in that town? That would have been a good man. Bedford Falls. Dad lost all his money in that savings alone. George Bailey. They just didn't cover yours.

They only covered... And now we've got a real life Old Ben Potter over here. Yeah, yeah. Exactly, man. All right. Merry Christmas. Because... So you do impressions?

Is that what they can expect after Christmas? Oh, yeah. I got some, that's how I got my start doing the, really? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh. It's an early bit of mine. You did Potter? From It's a Wonderful life. I think I might have tried it.

Is that why you're not Frank Calliando? Frank's like, I'm going to go for some, you know, people you might know. I'll do the president, mad, and you go, you'll do what, no one's doing Potter. It's a wonderful life, old man fodder. Frank had nothing on the back. I just didn't get noticed. You didn't get noticed. Callian knows like,

what if you just do something that's even kind of more known? No, I do only. It's just what they're expected. I think Mr. Potter was Drew Barrymore's grandfather. Oh, really? Lionel Barrymore.

Wow. But you did do... I did a few, yeah. Who was one? Did you do Potter? Were you joking about that? I think I thought about doing, that's not Potter, that was, uh, Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart, yeah, I tried to do Jimmy Stewart.

I don't know if it made it to this stage, but I remember sitting in my room. Is there any, oh, doing it? I do remember, I do remember doing, uh, um, this was a terrible bit. And, uh, back in the 90s, there were a bunch of red beers, red dog, red stripe, red, red, red, red, red wolf. Redstrike was, was, had been around before, but like, Red Wolf, it was like, there's, Killian's Red. I've heard this bit. And did I tell you that bit? I hope I didn't do it on this podcast.

You did. Did I? I mean, come on, man. Did I? You're not going to be back, so go ahead and tell it. I don't know. I think it was the Lee-Anne episode.

Okay. Oh, yeah, there was, and my joke was, my joke was, you know, they ought to have a red fox beer. And then I did.

Red fox. Lamont, going to kitchen, son. And bring me a red fox beer but i mean i i i was in it you're in yeah yeah yeah and uh i did that i did a homer simpson and i this is terrible but i basically did a this was when i was in college or right after you know it was after open mic stuff or early on i did was doing basically who's the guy from darrell strawberry no the great comic uh darrell hammond i was doing his version of beaver cleaver

yeah yeah it was and not proud of it what yeah I did man can you do it now yeah well this is this was I remember his thing

but then I I shouldn't have been doing it you know but he was like he was like well chi wali if you come around his version was like it was a great bit it was something like

my wife might not holler at me so much or something like yeah I haven't had practice but it was way better it was way better yeah yeah yeah yeah Did you go, you went on BET ComicVee, right?

I did. No, it was called Coming to the Stage. Did you do the Red Fox? No, I was better. No, no, I was good then. Okay. Did you think about it, though, because you were like. I was out of material.

It was one of those things we had to keep going. Yeah, yeah. And I had about all your best stuff up top. Oh, dude, I got those first three episodes, they were like, this guy. And then it started, it fell off a cliff, man. Yeah. But, yeah. That's where you get stuck where you, and you have just something.

Sometimes the worst bit ever is the only bit that pops up in your head. And you're on TV. And you're like, I got to do it. I got to do something. Yeah. I love the feeling of, it's so funny. You don't love that feeling, but I love, that's why I love stand-up so much, because it's like you just get stuck.

It's so funny. What do you say about the guy right for him through files? Oh, what I picture my, yeah. I always picture in my head when I'm like, I can tell I've got three jokes. left and I need to come up with like a few more and I just picture there's a guy I just picture there's a

there's a desk with a guy up there just going he's like I got nothing I got he's just flying papers everywhere he goes he goes what he went to the store you remember the car they're back to

just like just trying to come up with anything and he's just chaos in your head it's like a staff in back Find the thing about, find the thing about the thing about the thing about the thing about something. And then, I mean, you and it's like, you're to the last word and then like something pops up, you know. This weekend, this Friday Saturday, I am in Appleton, Wisconsin at Skyline Comedy Club. Were you in the big room there?

Yeah. Well, I mean, that big room, that's a big room, man. I don't like that. He goes, your boy, he goes. Dude, the last time I was there, I was in the, the Bronx. Broadway thing, the little room. That is a big room and that is... Hey, the way you said that was not...

Not nice. And not the way I meant it. Not the way I meant it. You say a lot of things that you say you don't... All right, I'm just going to say it. If you're in the big room and you're a white comic in the stardom, there's... There aren't a lot of white comics in the big room. They were...

They needed a sacrificial lamb and I was dumb enough to take it and... You opened? No, a headline. Oh. In the main room. They were like, we got... some company Christmas parties coming in and you know we want whatever

that's how they pitched it but that was not what it was no he just got the big I didn't mean I know how it sounded Brian I swear I do too because I was looking at you yeah yeah no no I yeah that

but you know it's a it's a tough room it's just a different yeah yeah yeah yeah it is a very urban room I mean yeah no no no yeah yeah I mean the guy who opened for me was the guy who hosted it for us, like 10 years ago when we were down there. Yeah. I mean, not that long ago, Nate was already doing pretty darn well.

And there were people with their head on the table asleep while Nate was on stage. You sent me a picture. Yeah. We had the fire alarm go off and no one did anything. Yeah. Yeah. I think I did sell. I think I went back and did a warm up.

And I've, but you had to get, you have to get like to a crazy level to go sell it out. Yeah. man. I was back with you in like 2022, like, when you were really doing well. But that was like 10 years ago. Yeah. And it was like going fine. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just a tough room. Yeah. For sure. For sure. But anyway, I met Skyline Comedy Club in Appleton this weekend. The regular room. December 26.

He's out in the lobby. What is that? Greg, why do you think I'm? I didn't mean it like that. Brian. Kansas City. Yeah, you're in Kansas City? I'm in Kansas City.

Big week. Yeah, big week. Salt Lake, the following weekend. Oh, yeah. Salt Lake, yeah, we're just like great. Yeah, what a good weekend? Like four giant shows there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Aaron Weber is going to be in San Francisco, Sacramento, Toronto, La Jolla. Then all kinds of places to go to Aaron Weber Comedy.com, get those dates. Appreciate it. All right. Man, this one was great. Merry Christmas. I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful Christmas with your family.

And, yeah, we love you. And see you next week. Bye. Hey!