The Nateland Podcast - 29: #29 | Branding & Marketing

Episode Date: August 19, 2026

This week, Brian, Aaron, and Dusty discuss trademarks, puffery, the rule of 7, Buc-ee's lawsuits, and more as they learn about branding and marketing. Pestie: https://pestie.com/NATEProtect your home from summer bugs. Go to https://pestie.com/NATE for 10% off your order.Rocket Money- Rocketmoney.com/nateRocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.  Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at Rocketmoney.com/nate.AG1: DRINKAG1.com/NATELANDVisit DRINKAG1.com/NATELAND and get a FREE AG1 Flavor Sampler and a FREE bottle of Vitamin D3 + K2 in your Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription order. NOBL: NOBLTravel.comNOBL gives you real travel peace of mind — security, design, and convenience all in one. Head to NOBLTravel.com for 46% off your entire order! #NOBL #ad

Ladies and gentlemen, come on in, come one, come all. Welcome into another episode of the Public Figures Podcast. Part of the Nate Land Podcast Network here recording live at Zanies Comedy Showplace, 8th Avenue South, Nashville, Tennessee. We are a funny podcast, we hope, three professional stand-up comedians. I'm alongside my buddy's Dusty Slay. Okay. And Brian Bates. All right.

I let Brian have the second one there. Yeah, thank you. I felt pretty good. We're excited to be here. I feel like I haven't seen you guys in a while. I know I just saw yet, but it always feels like too long. Yeah. We should do our own podcasts.

We should. Outside of this. We should. We do this once a week. And then like Thursday, we get together and do our own. We critique this one. Exactly. We watch it.

And just go, here's what I wanted to say in that moment. Public figures reacts. Oh, that could be fun. We could just react to moments. That could be fun. Of us reading ads. And then we could double up on the ad revenue because the ad would run. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. But we would be making fun of ourselves. Yeah. I like that. You know, sometimes like ESPN. These are the kind of idea. It's a good idea. ESPN sometimes will have like one of their multiple channels.

You see in like in the control room and behind the scene. Yes. Just do that. Just have a separate channel where we just watch. See how they react. See if Katie giggles. Just see, you know, kind of what works and what doesn't. Yeah.

That'd be fun to do. Sure. What was it? What's it called when you watch a football game? Like you just want to watch the control room or whatever? Yeah, that could be fun. Well, it's an interesting time of the year here. It's mid-August now.

We made it. We're almost through the summer here. College football starts very soon. We're about a week away from college football kicking off. Hopefully it gets a little cooler here. There's been record heat here in the Nashville area. It's been impossible to do anything. The world is drying up.

Yeah. That's what's happening. Well. Well, drying up. It's drying up all around. I mean, I feel like it's been raining a lot. Big lakes are empty. Rivers are empty. That's true.

As far as the heat this weekend, I'd like to comment firsthand on that. Yeah. So a few weeks ago, you asked, what do you guys set your AC on, right? And I commented how we have two HVACs in our house, one on each end. Yeah, you bragged about it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I did. And I said how both of them, because it's been so hot, they have a hard.

they have a hard time sometimes keeping up. Like, you know, it'll be set on 70, which we usually do. It'll be 73, 74 at times. It should have been a sign that maybe there's something going on here. This weekend, both of our HVX went out. And it was, the heat index was like 110. Yeah. Or whatever.

So it's been a stressful weekend at the Bates household. Did it get fixed? Are you okay now? We're still working. So Saturday, it kept creeping up, creeping up. It was like 76, and we took Eleanor to the Paw Patrol movie, which, you know, some of that's unbelievable, the plot. But anyway, you should see Popper. Some hot chicks, though.

You want to talk about unbelievable. You should see Paw Patrol live. Oh, you went to that, didn't you? Yeah. They have a live show? Yeah. Your kids were not happy. No, my daughter, she liked it, but it was.

Oh, something else they went to. I was unhappy. Is it real dogs? It's, you would think they would do something. like that. Chase is on the case. It's dogs, kind of animatronic dogs,

and the people voicing them are like wearing shoulder straps. So you see the people. Oh, that's... So it's like, even my three or four-year-old daughter at the time was like, well, this is not the dogs.

Okay, I guess that is what you told us about. I remember one, you were like, the kids were even like, this isn't believable. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, we're still thinking It's just so hot out there.

We get home, it's like 80 now in the house. So we realize there's something wrong. And then it's just shut off. So we call. We just turn all the ceiling fans on, do the best we can that night. The other one down the hall is still working poorly. But we get through the, it was a tough night.

Then yesterday morning, the guy comes, fixes it. He's like, oh, it's not that big a deal. got to do this, whatever he does, you know, fixes it, gets it going. And we're like, well, the other one's been really struggling. Can you check on it? He goes checks on it. He's like, oh, you need a new HVAC. A whole new unit.

Yeah, you need to shut this one off. Wow. So now that ends super hot, but our end that just got fixed, it's trying to catch up, but it can't. It goes from 80 down to 78 and won't go any further. And I'm getting so frustrated. I call him again, say, hey, man, it's. out working and he comes back and looks at it and he was just like you just got to let it catch up it's trying to fight to fill the house is too big yeah the struggles of a giant house

so i went to lows last night and bought a fan and uh just to try to help but anyway it's been you know what my air conditioner broke this weekend too but i was gone so i was like good luck guys but no i called hoffman offman i use hoffman Hoffman brothers. Yeah. Hoffman bros. And they came and hooked it up. They fixed it.

All right. Well, that's great. Yeah. Somehow you always have a story to Trump mind. Well, I don't think my story is better. No, neither of them are good. But there's a, uh, there's a, he's honed out. There's an oscillating fan under the table for the first time in the history of the podcast.

Yeah. I got to tell you. It's unbelievable. I love it. It feels so good. It does. Not all the time. Only when it's on us.

Only when it oscillates towards you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those moments are good. Yeah. But yeah, they came and they fixed mine. But yeah, it got, it was at one point, my wife woke up and it was 78 outside and 82 inside.

Oh, yeah. So we were really trapping that heat in that wet heat. Yeah. Where are you guys this weekend? Were you on the road? No, I was home dealing with all this. I don't know. I'm trying to segue in.

You listen at all? It was a Paw Patrol movie. Godly. Did you do some time at the... Do you open up? They say Andrew Dice Clay when he started, he would go to movies and just stand up in front of the theater and do time. Wow. It was a different time.

Yeah, it was a much different time. How furious would you be? Some dude stood up there, started doing stand up. Yeah. Be like, come on, dude. I did not. Yeah, I mean, especially that guy. Yeah.

It's got to be the right movie. I didn't have any shows this weekend, but I did go to a show. I came here at the lab at Zanis to watch Let Loose. Oh, yeah. Man, was it a hot show. And there's another one tonight as this podcast airs. Just keep doing it. Another Let Loose.

You liked it? I loved it. I mean, the crowd, there was an energy in the room. Like, you walk in, I walked in right before it started, and people were buzzing. Yeah. I decided. Very fun. To go up.

It's fun when somebody gets pulled and everybody cheers and everything. Yeah. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, because, you know, The thing that's been happening is some people, it's totally random. And some people have gotten pulled like almost every time. So it's like, that's been pretty exciting. It's almost like the Royal Rumble when the name gets called and people go, yeah, yeah.

But then other times it's like people that, you know, one girl went up said she had the whole Zanis open mic, not just this one, but the one prior to that, she had never gotten pulled. And she got pulled. How'd you do? She, well, I can't go over the material that she talked about. The show I was at? No, it was the one before. I didn't remember, yeah. I would say, I was very impressed.

I didn't know most of the comics. There was a couple that you think of for open Mike that clearly, you know, pretty new. But most of them had some good jokes. Yeah, with two-minute sets, even a really bad comic can do a good too. Yeah. And I think that's what's making it. exciting. That should be your tagline. Yeah. Even really bad comics can do well in this show.

Because, yeah, when they get too, it's like you come up, you do a, you address the crowd, you do a couple of jokes, and then you're done. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. It's nice that it moves fast. Yeah. You were on the road this weekend, Dustin? Yeah, I did some Air Force shows. Uh, did, went to an Air Force Base, uh, Whiteman Air Force Base outside of, uh, White Man, Air Force Base. Yeah. Well, that's outside of Kansas City. And yeah, the hotel was the White Man Inn. And I go, okay, I didn't know you got to split it up like that.

But I'm definitely at the right one. But it was good. That was a good show. Then I went over to St. Louis to Scott Air Force Base. It was good. That hotel. They don't all have names. The white man and Scott.

Yeah. And then I went to the right, I went outside of Dayton, Ohio to the right Patterson Air Force Base. And that, that hotel room they gave, it was like, they gave me a suite. And it was like, I mean, it was a whole house. Oh, that's cool. And I was, it was pretty cool. I mean, it was, you know, definitely decorated in the 90s and they have not changed those decorations. But there was a full-sized table.

I had six chairs at the table. Full-sized living room, two bedrooms. You sit in all of them? I didn't set at any of them, actually. Yeah. I mainly sat outside and smoked cigars. But the one night I was out there right, and I was having a cigar in the smoking section, and a skunk came up. Oh.

And so I got to get out of here. And I went back on my way back, saw another skunk. And then I just sat out front and talked to people randomly that were just... What are the chances it was the... Yeah. You think it was the same skunk? I think it was two different ones. How do you know?

You just felt different? As I was walking, I was like, there's no way this skunk beat me around here. They're quick, though. I think they're pretty quick. They are quick, but that would have been unbelievable. Pass through a wormhole or something. But these are great. I love doing these gigs.

I mean, a lot of people that listen to the podcast are at the shows. That's cool. Some people at this one, because you know how it showed last year, year, theater in Columbus sold out. The theater shut down. So everybody that bought tickets got their money back for that. And then I had a show booked in Cincinnati this year. Theodore also shut down. So a guy was like, I bought tickets to see you in Columbus and that theater shut down. And then I bought tickets to see you in Cincinnati. And that one shut down. And he goes, I'm coming to this one. But if the Air Force goes out of business, we're all in trouble. Yeah. Yeah. You're like,

Good luck Chuck for theaters. Yeah. Remember that movie? No, I do know the name of it, but. Dane Cook. I never saw it. I did see a couple. Dane Cook had a run of movies.

I like them. He had that one about dating, my best friend's girl, maybe that's what it was called. Well, good luck Chuck was a dating movie. Maybe I did see it then. And then waiting. Waiting was good.

Waiting was awesome. He had one with Kevin Costner. Dane Cook? Yeah. Wow. It was not a comedy. It was... Filled a dreams.

I think, too. I think, I want to say Dane Cook was like a serial killer or something. Oh, I've never seen that. Pursued him. Could you look that up? Yeah, I'm happy to. This one that I'm talking about was with Goldie Hawn's daughter. I don't think it was good luck.

Kate Hudson? Yeah. Mr. Brooks is a 2007 American psychological thriller film. Oh. Starring Kevin Costner, Demi Moore. I love Kevin Kossner. Dane Cook and William Hurt. Pretty great cast.

Yeah. Is it Demi or Demi? I think you can go anywhere, but I always said Demi. Yeah. You know who I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I always said, Demi. Demi. Demi.

Demi. Yeah, that's how I always said it. Okay. Guys, I love Summer, and you know that about me. I get to go out to my cabin and all my land and check out my garden. But after a long day of that, I love being able to go in. inside where there's some shade, man, AC. That's true. Nothing can ruin that like bugs inside that should be outside. I like the privacy of my land too, so I don't want to deal with some

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You can get started at just $35 per treatment. That's pretty amazing. Pesty is kid and pet friendly. The pesticides they ship are fully registered and have been used in hospitals and schools all over the country, and they offer a 100% bug-free guarantee or your money back. Wow. Keep bugs out of your summer sanctuary with Pestie. Go to Pestey.com slash Nate for an extra 10% off your order today. That's P-E-S-T-I-E dot com slash Nate for an extra 10% off. Well, I got some news to show it to you.

Let's do it. Let's get into it. All right. Obviously, the most important news is worried. It's out there, guys. Cooking. At a million views now, right? Almost.

Almost. Just about 875,000 to go. Oh, so it's sniffing. That's not bad, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to do it. So if you just take anything away from this podcast, remember, go watch that. Go watch it and share it with a friend.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Mine too. Or an enemy. Yeah. Nate Land presents the showcase season five. That's this coming week, guys. It's this Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.

Coming up. Dusty's hosting Sunday. I'm hosting Monday. Aaron's hosting Tuesday. The lineups are great, by the way. There's some really good... Mainly the host, but... Well, one of the nights.

The lineup is great. There's a lot of guys I'm like, ooh, that should be opening for you. Well, you kind of are, though, hosting. Well, I guess that's true. We've got an our opening. Well, never mind.

Never mind. Do we get to close it out to? Do we get to do long sets? No, no. Do we get to do an hour at the end? We've got great comics closing them out as well. Okay. Well, we'll see about that. If you come for Dusties, tell your babysitter, stay a little longer, because this one could go long.

This could be like the Food Fighters concert, which went over three hours in the heat. I couldn't imagine listening to Food Fighters for 15 minutes. They got some good songs, man. Yeah, and they could do them in that 15. This is another example of, like, I don't know how to determine good music and bad. What about them that you don't like? I just don't think they're good. They have a couple of songs I like.

But if you like them, then that's fine. Exactly. Then they're good to you. But obviously, they're doing Nissan Stadium. There's more than just me that thinks they're good. Right. Well, there's a lot of MPCs out here. And they just go.

I don't know. It's like the Matrix. They just pop up in places. Like you two. You're not a fan of you too, right? No, no. They got a couple. But I'm,

I'm always blown away by you two fans. You like you two? No, but they're like one of the biggest bands in the last 50 years. Yeah, but why, though? I don't know, man. It's just pop music. Yeah. Pop rock, man.

God. You like them? Yeah. Big YouTube fan? I mean, not huge, but I like the music. Like, I guess I'm just trying to figure out, I mean, everybody has the, you just don't. I like the, it's a beautiful day. Yeah.

It's a beautiful day. With or without you? You don't care for that way? Oh, sick. 30 years into them being a band, they put that song out. Well, with or without you? I think that probably is a good one. Where the streets have no name, Sunday, Bloody Sunday.

They got some great songs. Yeah, okay, those are all good. Vertigo. I still haven't found what I'm looking for? You've had vertigo. All right, still have I found. Okay, all right. Maybe I didn't know these were you two songs.

Anyway, come to the Nate Lauder Showcase Season 5. And congrats to, you guys remember Nate Bargatsy? Yeah. No. You do remember. Yeah. Okay. I've seen him around.

Yeah. Our buddy Nate used to do another podcast with us. The Big Dumb Ice Tour just wrapped up. He set a Guinness World Record. He broke the record for most tickets ever sold for a stand-up comedy tour. Over 2 million tickets sold breaking Jeff Dunham's record. You know, they did some comparison. I read it a little bit of that article.

Not the whole thing, but I read some of it. I was about to say it, but you'd tell it. Okay. Well, they did, you know, the compared you two. Yeah. And he broke it in, you know, a pretty significant, like, time. Like, it was like, I don't know, Jeff Dunham had like 300 shows and Nate had like 150, something like that. It was like, Jeff did his in 35 months. Nate did his in 16.

Yeah, that's pretty amazing. Yeah. Really amazing. I mean, it's insane. I'm coming for you, Nate. I'm still trying to get people to. Still trying to get people to come to Let Loose. It was sold out. It was packed. Yeah, it was packed. Yeah. Let Loose is going to sit the Get Us record. Yeah. Congratulations to Nate. I think the kid, going to make it. Yeah, he's got a bright future ahead. Yeah, but go watch Worried. That's what I really won't.

You want to get into the comments? Yeah, do you know. We got some very good comments today. I can just feel it. I haven't looked through them, but I can just, you know, sometimes you just look at it. You ever step up to the plate and you can just feel it? I'm going to get a hit here.

Yeah. That's what this feels like. Let's think about your comment from last week. If you went 27 for 28, you'd be in the Hall of Fame. Mm-hmm. But that's like a week's work for the bats. That'd be pretty cool if you like. After one week, I'm retiring.

Yeah, it's one of the best players ever. 27 or 28. They're like, we'll put you in. Well, there's the old famous story. I don't even know if it's really true. But there was, I think the Washington senators, they were not selling tickets. This is way back in the day.

And they go, we got to come up with something to sell some tickets. So they signed a one-day contract for a little person. And this is Major League Baseball. They put a little person on the team. He went to bat. He got walked. because the strike zones the size of a posted stamp. And then he has a 1,000 on base percentage.

I do know this. I was thinking it was the White Sox because their owner. That's like it caught up in the details. Did he get walked every time? He only batted once. Oh, they only did he get out? No, but I mean, did he at the, from first to second? Did he get out?

He got picked off, right? I don't know. That's a good question. I don't know what happened after he got to first, but here he is. Eddie, Eddie Gaydell, right here. Look at that. Yeah. Are you maybe right?

I don't know why you only gave him one at bat. They're just trying to sell some tickets, man. Well, what's, if one at bat sells tickets, do too. It was the St. Louis Browns. He weighed 60 pounds. He was 3 foot 7, by far the shortest player in the history of Major League Baseball. A single plate appearance, four consecutive balls, then they used to pinch runner when he got the first base.

Wow. So he didn't even get to try to run the second. Wow. I think it was, was it Bill Vec, former owner of the White Sox who would do promotional stuff? We're going to talk about, this is a big perfect for our topic today.

Oh, then let's save it. Let's save it. Okay, okay. Let's get into the comments. All right. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast reviews,

and mail at natelandpodcast.com. First comment comes from Daniel Johnson. I think I used to work with. him. Dusty deserves an Emmy for this episode. Yeah. He acted so cool amid endless space propaganda. He also brought hope during the part about the sun exploding.

His hope for a stepson to step in and care for us was courageous. Wow. Yeah, man. Well, thanks for bringing hope. Well, listen, it was hard. It was hard to just sit here. Endless space propaganda. And listen to this.

Talk about planets that you can't land on because they're just gas. Jupiter's far away. And that's propaganda. Yeah. I thought you did very well, Dusty. Thank you. You got some very funny ones. Thank you, Daniel.

Thanks for keeping it cool. I did used to work with a guy named Dan Johnson. I think we all did. We assumed he was in some kind of witness protection because that's such a name. Basic name. Yeah. It feels like they're they made that name. And it really stands out with some of the insane names we get on these comments.

Second comment, Seth West, also looks like a fake name. Seth West, six years and Aaron still has moments where he just has to take a moment, turn his hat backwards, and take a breath just to not start screaming at the unbelievable lack of understanding by Brian and Dusty. All right. Yeah, we just... That's very funny. Yeah, I mean, Aaron, we always marvel at his just...

the intelligence that he holds and that we could only hope to have that level of understanding. I don't know why I'm grouped with Dusty. I know. I feel like you're an ally in this with me.

Me and Brian are on the same team here. Here's the thing. I don't know what I'm talking about either. And then when you get asked a question that you go, your instant is, what a ridiculously simple question. And then you're like, I don't know how to answer it.

You know? Then you get defensive just one of saying, because you're an idiot. And I just, and all I'm doing is ask, questions. And then you guys can't answer them and I'm the idiot. Yeah. You're just super intellectually curious. That's your problem. Yeah. Exactly. Noah, amazing episode. I appreciate Dusty's questions. And as a chemical engineer, I am always asking why. Okay, just so you know, Noah,

Dusty doesn't believe in your job. No, no. Before you team up with him. Come on, Noah. He's always asking why. Aaron does a great job explaining, but these topics are very complex. I suggest rather than trying to explain space time and how things behave, you could respond with, that's how God made it. He is much smarter than us, and there are laws and behaviors we are discovering. That's a good answer. But as a chemical engineer, I hope you're doing actual science. What a lazy scientist. I'm also going to go ahead. Who knows, guys? I'm also going to go ahead and disagree with it there, Noah. I don't believe he made it that way. But the way that they think, I don't believe the Earth is shaped like a pear. I will tell you that.

I think I can agree with that. Neil deGrasse Tyson says it is. I mean, we've seen pictures of it, and I would say it's more shaped like a ball. But those are all Photoshop. They do admit that. Yeah. So that's what we're dealing with here. But your bar for what constitutes a real picture means that you discredit all digital photography.

You would only trust a Polaroid of the Earth? That would help. Okay. That would help. And that's not a bad idea. But Dusty will go, that's not a real photo. That's just data. And you go, well, that's what a digital photography is. That's a good idea. Next time they go up, let's do some polarites. Or the old, what's the, where you put your head under the curtain and poof?

I don't know what that means. Bring up one of these video cameras right here. Put your head under the curtain and poof. You know what he means with a little curtain done it. We've all done that. Yeah. Next comment comes from Mandy Balge. Mandy Balge. That's a tough last name.

That's a tough last name. To answer Dusty. Amanda Bulge. Mandy Baldwin. Dusty, come on. She's about to answer you. To answer Dusty, individual gas molecules. I'm going to stop right there, Mandy.

We're not doing this. Does hear it. Come on, Mandy. Individual gas molecules have a tiny weight. But trillions of them stacked together create immense weight. The gravity of each molecule pulls together to hold them inward and form a round shape. You could disrupt that planet theoretically by crashing something into the gases, but it would probably go back into the round shape again.

Think of liquid mercury. Thanks, Mandy. That really clears it up. I thought that was a good explanation. I mean, we were out the first three words. Individual gas molecules. Well, the first three words were to answer, Desti's right. If they hold weight and there's trillions of them, then you've got to be able to land on it.

That's all I'm saying. Do you think air has weight? Yeah, that's why I think helium. Can you land on air? Helium is lighter than air, and that's why it floats. Yeah, that is true. Yeah. It defies gravity.

If you put it in a balloon, helium is incredibly strong. It's like unbelievable. It just, it's like gravity doesn't even exist. Goes to Poof. Yeah. It goes poof. It's crazy. Runner at heart.

Oh, I like that. I'm a runner at heart too. Runner. Not physically, but at heart. What do you call, by the way, interesting question. What do you call that symbol? The at symbol? You call it the at symbol?

Yeah. I don't think it has a name. I call it the lowercase a with a circle around it. The at symbol, I think it's just called the ad symbol. Most users on Quarrow. agree that the symbol originated a shorthand for the Latin word ad. So there you go. But I think it's just called the at symbol.

You'd think it would have a fancy name like that, the ampersand or something. I like that the little thing there is, oh, at, at. You see that? I hope the viewers can see it. Yeah, yeah. For the listeners. Listen, don't worry about it. Runner at heart.com.

I kept waiting. for a lively discussion about which 1998 asteroid movie was better. Armageddon or Deep Impact? I can answer that for you. Okay. Armageddon. I'll answer that for you as well.

Deep Impact. I love Deep Impact, man. I don't think I've ever seen. That was a big movie for me growing up. Morgan Freeman's president. Isn't he? Yeah, it's unbelievable. I've never seen it.

I'll go watch it and I'll report back. Elijah Wood plays a little kid that discovers the asteroid coming. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's awesome. All right. I'll check it out. He does?

It's Elijah Wood. Okay. I barely remember the movie, but Tay Leonis, is that her name? Yeah, he tries to marry her to save her family. You remember? Okay. She's a reporter? Oh, that's the older one. Yeah, she's a reporter. And I, and she just killed herself. That's what I would say, if I'm trying to marry her to, I go, I'm just trying to save your family. No, Armageddon is fine. You know Armageddon? Yeah. Armageddon's great, man. Bruce Willis? Yeah. Can't beat Bruce Willis. Yeah. Morgan Freeman. I don't know. I mean,

Morgan Freeman's great. They're definitely different types of movies. Morgan Freeman. But yeah, but Bruce Willis. He's got a great aerosmith. There's an assort. Yeah, Liv Tyler's in it. Ben Affleck. I'll get busy. I'll get busy, Dan. Steve Buschemy. Judith Sears. Our moon is about 400 times smaller than the sun, but it is also 400 times closer to the Earth. That makes the two appear to be the same size from our point of view. An incredible cosmic coincidence. Yeah, people love to point this out. Whenever you go, you question it, I go, yeah, okay, that's the math that you would have to do to make your theory ring true. And that's all this is. Whether it's true or not, it may be, but I'm just saying, they point this out and they go,

well, this is why. And I go, yeah, you did the math and you go, what would it take to make something that big appear as the same size as this other thing? And then you figure that math and you go, This is it. And then we're supposed to go, oh, well, I didn't realize that you had worked out the math. Again, it was with math. Because if they were just the same size, then that would explain it, that they're just the same size. Yeah, but it would also, that would bring up a lot of other questions. Yeah.

You know, that's what I'm saying. The sun of the moon are the same size. And that's how they just fit perfectly over each other. Yeah, yeah. So they're the same size, but one's behind the other one? Well, they're in at... One's in front of the other? The idea is that they're not really these balls.

They're more disc-like. Oh, okay. So they're thin. So it's like two pieces of paper. Well, yeah, dipping in and out of water. Oh. So they slide in front of each other? Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Like a clock for the times and the seasons. Mm-hmm. Well, that makes way more sense than the sun being farther away. Karen Messinger. That's what I'm saying. Karen Messinger. So we're given Brian crap about mercury, but letting nuclear slide.

You know what? That is a word I say incorrectly. Oh, is she something about you? Yeah. I'm sure. Well, you probably say it the same way too. I assume she was talking about me. We say it the way George Bush says it.

Nuclear. Yeah. Well, you what is it? Nuclear? Yeah. I think we all say it wrong. Do I say it wrong? Too?

We probably. It's nuclear. Nuclear? No, not like that, but nuclear. Nuclear. Nuclear. You say nuclear. Yeah, you know, some words you just say wrong.

I've said theater wrong my whole life. What's the movie with Lerrador DiCaprio where he's a stock trader? He's a stock trader, Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah. Yeah. I say that word wrong. People have said that. Yeah, I say wolf.

Yeah. Who decides how these words are pronounced anyway. That's what I'm saying. Maybe it's just accents and you're like, oh, I mean, I mean, Brian's struggling with some words. Yeah, that's for sure. Even Dusty's with the main street narrative of what it's about me. But, I mean, poem is, I mean, go on. Poem.

Danny Burnett Jr. Not senior. When the sun and moon are close to the horizon, they appear larger. Well, some people talk about that, too, even on. other models that, you know, it's not, it's not that they're rotating around the earth. It's that, you know, they're going out of your sign of light. So it appears to be going, but as the, as you get closer at things, the horizon and it comes together, right? So there is, uh, atmospheric pressure and gas that are in between once something is so far away that magnifies things.

Oh, okay. Yeah. I almost sounded like a real scientific explanation. Well, it is. It's not, but. Jerimotor. There was a like a lake I'm not so good with specifics but I believe it was Lake Michigan where you could be in you could be on the Michigan side

and see Chicago even though based on curvature of the earth you should not be able to see it. And a guy got on a boat and went all the way across and kept it in frame the whole time and it was that the atmosphere was enlarging the city and making it

bigger, but you shouldn't have been able to see it because it should have dipped on over on the Arizona. Oh, man, that's scary. That is scary. Jerra Motor, the fact that Mars has tornadoes proves we could build trailer parks there. Yeah. That's fine. That's good. That's a good joke. I wonder what's your weight on Mars. I was thinking the other day, could I beat an NBA basketball team if I had the gravity of the moon? So on Mars, you're about 38% of your weight. on Earth. So what would you weigh?

So Mars has less gravity, you're saying? I think it has less gravity. Isn't it a bigger planet? Wouldn't it have more? It's not a bigger planet. It's smaller? Yeah. Oh.

Yeah, if you were, if you weigh less, that means you have less gravity. Yeah, the surface gravity. Why do they make Mars seem so big? You have about a third of the gravity on Mars than you do on Earth. So if you weigh 100 pounds on Earth, I don't. You would weigh about 38 pounds on Mars. Why do they always...

I mean, I feel like they always... I weigh about 100 pounds on Mars. Just some quick math there. Yeah. I don't know who makes Mars big. I always feel like Mars seems big. I mean, it is big compared to a lot of things, but it's not as big. Are things small?

It has a diameter of about 40. 4200 miles, which is roughly half the width of Earth. The volume is only about 15% of Earths, meaning you could fit more than six planets the size of Mars inside Earth. Wow. So I didn't know it was that much smaller. That's crazy. I feel like it's getting smaller each year. 11% of Earth's mass.

Well, it's drying up up there. Yeah, maybe it is. Drying up. Yeah. Which one's getting smaller? Mars. What makes you feel that like? Well, now we're like.

Like, it's, I thought, I thought Mars was bigger than Earth. And now you could fit six Marses in Earth. I just feel like, it's not even worth naming a candy bar after it at it at this point. But you were, but you were wrong. It's like, what we started at it was bigger. Oh, it was bigger. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, you're right. Mandela effect. Mandela effect. Chiro. C-I-R-O. It's got some Dan Johnson's in here. Yeah, I know. We got C-O-S-P-P-L-V-A.

suppolda. I'm right there with Aaron. All right. When my daughter was born, I started back up eating PB&J sandwiches because it was the easiest snack to make. 17 months later, I'm still eating them almost daily and have become a bit of a connoisseur. There are so many more options of PB&Js now compared to when I was a kid, wondering if Aaron has any favorites. Did we talk about this? Are you eating PB&J every day? No, not every day is insane, just for the last month. Yeah. No, I got some uncrustables.

Oh, yeah. So I just pull them out every now and then. What is an uncrustable? It is just like a frozen peanut butter jelly sandwich. Wow. With no crust. With no crust. Wow.

Talk about making. Oh, Adrian's got one right there. Try it, Dusty. Talk about, I don't know if Adrian wants me to eat is uncrustable. Talk about making something that's already incredibly convenient. more convenient. I know. It's great. It's American ingenuity. Oh, wow.

Yeah, it's really, really good. Gosh, I don't think so. I think I was very skeptical. Saw and eat. I was very skeptical about the whole thing. And then you have one, and you're like, they're so good. And making peanut butter jelly is very easy, but taking that out of the freezer is very easy.

It's even easier. Yeah. Oh, look, the peanut butter has peanut sugar, molasses, fully hydrogenated vegetable oils, in parentheses, it's rapeseed and soybean oil. That seems insane. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I did open it.

Well, don't. Those will fall out. I almost fell out of the bag there. Sorry about that, Adrian. And I'm sorry that your schedule's so tight that you can't whip together a PB&J. And that is, he's overworked. He is. He's overworked.

Really a reflection more of Nate. Yeah. Nate's abusing this guy. He's got to eat his P.B. and J out of a bag. Set and get us world records. Yeah. And the crew's eating frozen P.B. and J. Yeah.

Gosh. It's going on around here. Justice for Adrian. Well, do you have any favorites, though? Just regular. I like them all. I'll let you know when I find one I don't like. Okay.

Tyken Drosk. Tiken Drosk. T-Y-Y-K-E-N D-D-Rosky? Tykin Drosky. I think that's it. I've been listening to the podcast for about two months now, and you guys have brought many laughs and smiles. Aaron is probably my favorite comedian.

All right. All right, Tyken Droski. That's what I'm talking about. I like Dusty's theories and how they liven up the show, and I like how Brian is so down to earth. It went from favorite comedian to, yeah, Brian. just one of us. Yeah, well, he was running out of compliments.

Yeah, Brian. I guess I got to say something about Brian, too. He is there, isn't he? Seems like a good guy, I guess. Sarah Palmer. But wait, we don't see him down to Earth, media? Not really. I don't see him down to Earth?

You don't even believe in Earth. Well, Earth's the only thing I believe in. Yeah. Yeah. He's his favorite comedian. You can't be down to earth. It's like a celebrity. That's true.

And I really liven up the show. My theory is really liable. You do, man. There's so much fun. Sarah Palmer, my fourth teacher in Philly. I'm guessing she meant fourth grade. Or just some school just couldn't. The turnover at this one high school is crazy.

That could be her third grade teacher because she had kindergarten, first, second third. This would be her fourth. teacher. All we know so far is this is a teacher of Sarah Palmer's and that she's from Philly. My fourth teacher in Philly taught us this is how Rocky remembered planets. My very early morning jog starts up near Philadelphia. All right. Okay. But then they got rid of Pluto, so it just says up near. I remember it that way to this day because I speak it in my head like how Rocky Balboa sounds when he talked. It's a good one. I can't really do a Rock. Do a Rocky. You can do it. Sure. I can do everybody. Yeah, read it.

Yo, Adrian. My very early morning, John, starts up near Philadelphia. All right. That was horrendous. That was really good. Yeah. Hey, hey, my favorite morning, John. If Stallone dies, they should get you in the next Creed film. I bet he will die someday. What are we talking about? Oh, I'm excited about this week. We are talking about branding and marketing. and I'm excited for a few reasons. One, you've got a little marketing background.

A little bit, small one. Advertising, marketing kind of that. And Dusty is a walking brand. So this is going to be, I think, a fun, educational episode. I like that. I used to work at Hyman Seafood in Charleston, South Carolina. Really? And they are the marketing geniuses.

They're great. Everything I know I learned from Hyman's. Okay. Well, okay, I want to hear about that. Before I forget that, White Sox story, I think it was Bill Vec was the owner. Okay. And he would do, they were never good. So he would do crazy promotional things to try to liven it up.

Liven it up. And like one time he had him playing shorts. Oh. And he was kind of a little bit like the Savannah Bananas, you know, before their time, what he could get away with. I think it was Bill Vick, who was the owner. Speaking of Savannah Bananas, we have a friend who I won't mention on the podcast, but we all know him who has a theory that the Savannah Bananas are a CIA sigh up. It's not me. That's not me.

No, it's not Dusty. But we'll talk. Why? What's the theory behind it? Just as meant to, they're just trying to destroy American culture from the inside out. Oh, well. I don't know that the Savannah Bananas are doing that, but it's finally one the Dusty kick on board with. It's like, come on, guys.

That's getting a little ridiculous. I mean, that feels like a sigh up in itself to blame that on the Savannah bananas. A double agent. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't think it's, controlled opposition. He doesn't think it's the only thing going on, but he thinks it's part of it. Controlled opposition.

Yeah. The amount of money I just spent on ridiculous stuff when I'm out on the road. I just, it's ridiculous. What do you buy? Huh? Sorry. What do you buy? Just ridiculous stuff.

Yeah. You know, I mean, not even ridiculous. It gets out of hand. Like, just even a cup of coffee every day, you know, do I really need that? You know, I mean, I knew it was bad, but until I was able to see it all in one place, I just denied it was an issue. Yeah. Rocket money, though, showed me how big of a problem it was.

It was easy to switch out of that habit. it when you can see it all in one place. When you can see the categories across your accounts, it can help reveal spending patterns. Rocket Money is customizable so I can figure out where my money is going, which helps me save for other things I want besides something like coffee. I love that Rocket Money can set budgets and goals. It can personalize insights and regular reports. You can receive real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and

low balances. This helps me stay on track and save so much time. Rocket money is, Dusty buy so many ridiculous things. There's always something on his porch, you know, his neighbor has to move a bed. Just ridiculous stuff. But with Rocket Money, it keeps you for doing that. It's a personal finance app that helps fine and cancel on what it's subscriptions, monitors your spending, it helps lower your bill so you can grow your savings.

Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com slash Nate. That's RocketMoney.com slash Nate. rocketmoney.com slash neat. All right. So this week, I want to hear all about hymonds, but just to set some... Seafood.

Let's say the full name of the restaurant. Clip it. Okay. Okay. I want to all hear all about Hyman's seafood in Charleston, South Carolina. We used to work. All right. branding and marketing.

Branding is who you are. Marketing is how you show it. Oh. What are you think of that? Interesting distinction. I've never heard that. Branding defines your core identity, values,

and long-term reputation. Have you ever been branded? In college. Did you really? My fraternity. Did you really? We've talked about this before. Did you ever do it,

Dussie? I feel like you... I did heat up a knife and stick it to my skin before. Where? I don't remember. My leg. Earlier today.

I was going to say, I don't think you would have been branded, but I know you've been in some rooms where it's going on. Yeah, we've messed around with fire. You've heated up some metal. Yeah. No, I joked on Nateland one time that I didn't join a fraternity. Because some of the black fraternities, they brand each other. Oh, yeah.

The Q dogs. The Q dogs, yeah. Yeah, there's like a, you know, you see athletes with a brand on their arm. And you don't want to do that. Yeah. That's why you didn't join. Yeah. That's why.

They were recruiting you hard, though, is for out of handers. They were. They were. But branding and marketing. Yes. So marketing uses active campaigns, ads and channels to grab attention, promote offerings, and drive immediate sales. In short, branding builds the identity and marketing communicates it. Okay. So that helps me, can I get my head around it a little bit?

Yeah. So I'll start with you, Dusty. What did Hyman Seafood Restaurant, Charles and South Carolina, do? Well, they, you know, well, the first they had merch, right? So they had shirts and hats, and they had all these little cards on the table that were like business card size where they would have little mottos and jokes and things. But on the back was Hyman Seafood. And then they would have these free crab dip coupons.

Now, they may still do this, but you would go out into the street, hand out free crab dip, and people go, oh, I got a free, I got a free dip when I come. in. So you got the card, you come in, you get for your appetizer, and then now you're already in the building. And also another thing that they would do, they would give out other crab dip coupons, and they would give those two different businesses around town, different touristy businesses. So, and then that business would have their name written on it. So they would hand, like if you took a tour of somewhere, they would hand you, they go, hey, yeah, take one of these crab dip coupons, go to Hyman's. So then those people would come in.

And then we would write down the number of people that they brought in. And then the tourist company that sent them in would get points based on the amount of people that they brought in. And the points would translate to food for them. So now they could come get free food because they were sending people to the restaurant. Pyramid scheme. Well, you could say that. But it's marketing big time. Those are promotional offerings that are very interesting.

But if you had to describe the brand of Heim and Seafood, like let's say you're given four words. to describe the brand, what it represents, what its mission is, what differentiates it from other seafood restaurants in Charleston. I don't know that I could do it in four words. It's family tradition. Well, that's true. Those are big themes at the restaurant. Family owned.

Family owned. So it's not a corporation. It's not a chain. There's no other locations. Family tradition. Yeah, it's, I don't know, seafood. Hyman. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. It's just the name of the rest. I said I couldn't do it in four words. And then you guys are like, keep doing it. But, well, yeah. But, you know, it's like on the menus they had like, like, you know, their dad bought the business with their granddad. It was a dry goods business. And then, you know, so they got like four generations, maybe five on the menu. There's Eli, who I worked for, his sons are now running the business. And so, you know, they keep passing it down. And, you know, they say,

50% of second generation businesses fail. Really? And they've, you know, and then I think it's 75% of third generation businesses fail. But they keep it going. They're keeping it going. Yeah. But that's a good differentiator, differentiator. Because if you were in Charleston and you go, what, I want to eat at, oh, Charlie's, that

they have in any other city, let me get this family-owned local spot. And that's the appeal of it. And Charleston is filled with fancy restaurants. And I think Hyman's is a good, like, mid-level where, you know, it's not fancy. You can go in there, eat. How would you word that in a way that's not bad? Well, I don't think not fancy is a bad word. Yeah, but it's not pretentious.

It's just, you know, it's a spot to go get some food. But aren't you supposed to in advertising to positive affirming words? Right. I think not pretentious is positive. So what's a nice way of saying not fancy? Down home, something like that. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah.

But I think to me, not fancy, not pretentious are things I want to hear. Do you want that on the side outside the rest? Not fancy, not. But you can word that in a way. The point is you can word it in a way that's saying what you're saying. I don't know. I guess. But I like that.

To me, when I see that, I go, that seems like a place I want to go eat at. I'd rather see something versus they're saying not something. Yeah, good, but not pretentious. Good, but not pretentious. pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean. Something smells good out there. Yeah. Yeah. What are they doing? That's the fan blowing for me to you. I don't think that's you, man. It smells like a rotisserie chicken in here all of a sudden.

I have a leg in my pocket. Now, I don't eat rotisserie chicken. Why not? I think. Oh, okay. I thought it would be a funny answer. No, it's bad. Yeah.

All right. GMO chickens. So Dusty, what would you say your brand is? You don't have to say in four words. Not pretentious. Not fancy. Good. Not bad.

No, I mean, I don't know. People ask me that sort of thing, what kind of comedy that you do. But I think I just do regular comedy, good observations. I'm not really teaching you anything. You're not going to learn anything. That's great. It's a selling point. And I'm not preaching at you.

It's relatively clear. This is what I always tell people. I have relatively clean comedy. I'm not for kids, but you can bring your aunt to the show and you're not going to be embarrassed that you brought her there. No, say what you used to say. You used to have a great line. Not clean, not dirty. Oh, well, that was just kind of a joke. But yeah, not clean, not dirty, dusty. You know? That should be, yeah. That should be your logo. I mean, it's a good line. But yeah, I mean, I like to let people know, hey, listen, if you bring your kids, there's probably going to be things I'll say that you don't like. But, grown people can handle it. And it's not going to be, you're not going to be like, oh, gosh. You know.

Aaron, do you have a brand? No. Yeah, okay. Do you? No. I was reading about, you know, getting you to know your business and what you offer to customers, no one else does. I'm like, well, this is why I'm not selling more tickets because, you know,

you got to identify something about you that makes you stand out. Right. What do you think yours is? I don't have one. That's the problem. Yeah, me too. You're an older guy with a youthful mind. You got some youthful observations because you weren't married for all this time.

You were living this bachelor life for a long time. But I need, like, you have a catchphrase. We're having a good time. You have a catchphrase, boy, I tell you. I need a catchphrase. What can my catchphrase be? Oh, my back. I say that.

You do that, Joe. Yeah. Yeah. Your catchphrases. Y'all want to scoot up to the front, right? Easier to drive. It'd be easier if y'all just move on up. Yeah.

No, I mean, you know, that's what, you know, it's like, that's what you just got to find. You know, you got to, because, you know, I used to do a lot of trailer park jokes. So even in bios now, they're still writing a lot about trailer park jokes. But I got like, you know, I'm a working man. I got maybe a trailer park joke. and then on wet heat, I don't even know if I have one. And then now my current set,

I reference it, but, you know, that was just some joke. I mean, I grew up in a trailer park, but it was just some jokes I was doing. Now I can't keep doing trailer park jokes.

Mm-hmm. You know? But you have a catchphrase. You have a hand gesture. Yeah. You have a look. It's all kind of your brand. You do have a look.

Yeah. That's distinct. Mm-hmm. These are all examples of branding. Yeah. It's just being yourself. And that's why I really don't like to watch a lot of other comics because I don't want to like pick up things from the other comments.

But you run an open mic every week. Yeah, but you're watching open micers. You know, like if anything, that's why I look so nervous and twitchy on stage. I watch too many open micers. I mean, look how many times he's quoted my special. Yeah. You know, from watching it. Yeah, exactly.

Watch one, this is my one special. I watched it all year. And now I can't stop talking about it. Do you have a logo? I don't think I have a logo. My hat right there that I'm wearing in that picture. That's a logo. That's a kind of a merch.

Oh, yeah, that design. Yeah. But I don't think I have a logo specifically for myself. Have you trademarked? We're having a good time? No. No, we talked about it, but it's like, I don't know. To me, I don't think you can trademark having a good time.

That's a pretty standard statement. we might be able to trademark. We're having a good time. But the only, to me, I'm like, people don't think of it that way of the we are having a good time. Some people get it. But other people, like you were saying, somebody was like, we're having a nice day.

Trademark that too. Yeah. So if I trademark, we're having a good time. And now no one can sell merch that says we're having a good time on it. But they just say having a good time. I don't think most people are going to know the difference. No, Aaron, I'm wearing your merch. your shirt. Oh, yeah. Look at that. Now with more bobblehead.

It just says bobble. Oh, I can't see it. Just now with more bobble. Oh, now with more bobble. Yeah. Because it's me as a bobblehead. Yeah. That's what you should do. And then try to do a bobble. How are everybody doing? Yeah. I get dizzy. You play music and don't start talking before you do the bobble. I can't, I can't focus on stuff like that. That's what you do, every show.

Let me write some jokes first. And then you do that. And then you go, you go cut it. Boy, I tell you. And then start your show. I mean, if I got to do the whole thing for you. Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate the help.

That was the very funny, the very talented Zach Woomer out of Philadelphia drew that. It's me as a bobblehead. That's my merch shirt. Zach Woommer drew the cover of my album Crockpot comedy. Based off your recommendation. Yeah, nice. He's good. But do you have a joke about bobbleheads?

No. It's just a fun shirt. I think it just kind of, I look like I collect bobbleheads, probably. I don't know. There's never really a line drawn from who I am to that shirt. But I like the way it looks. Yeah. Yeah.

What if you went out in a full-on Braves outfit every time? He's an idea, man. Yeah. You're going to turn me into the worst comic in America. Yeah. Bull Braves uniform. Boy, I tell you. Batter up.

Just bombing. Batter up. Yeah. Batter up, but you pull out a fried fish. I want you to do it. He's got batter on it. I want you to do all that and perform next year at the Michael J. Fox Foundation. Oh.

Go out of the bubblehead. Come on, Brian. Oh, that's too far? Yeah, that is too far. That is too far. That's our good friend. That is too far. He wrote me a card and said, I changed the way he thinks about Jag and Diane forever. The song.

Chili dogs. Sucking on chili dogs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But he said Jack and Diane. He didn't say he changed the way I feel about. Suck it on Chili Dog.

Yeah. The song Jack and Diane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, not the couple that we now personally. Yeah. I don't know. what we're talking about.

All right. If you wanted to make this your logo. The couple that me and Michael J. Fox know we dinner with a couple named Jagged Diane. Here's how you protect your logo.

You want to read to this? I do want to learn how to protect it. All right. A business must secure clear ownership rights. Use proper trademark symbols like the TM. Yes.

And registered the logo as a federal trademark through the agency like the U.S. Patent. office to gain nationwide exclusivity. Now, is that an expensive process to go through probably? My understanding is it costs about 10 grand just to apply. Wow. Something like that. Really? Like, and so you want to, you want to feel very good about nailing it. Yeah, because even if you

don't get it, you still got to pay that 10 grand. Yeah. What a racket this is. I think it's probably to keep people from just trying to trademark everything every time you turn around. Yeah, that's true. like you would do. Yeah. Yeah, if it were cheap. If there were a Suno app where you could just file copyright claims, you would do.

Yeah, that's why things can't be free out here. Things can't be easy and free. Things have to cost money. Yeah. You have to make sure that if it's an outside designer, like your friend, who made the logo, a written contract gives all design rights to the company.

Okay. Keep early drafts and design files to prove when the artwork was first created. Oh, yeah, one time a guy took a picture of me and then basically made some artist rendition of the picture. Like it was a picture of me. And then he kind of did something to make it like artist like. Okay. Probably a paint program.

And then somebody else I know goes, hey, I got this leather kind of engraver thing I'm doing. And they made me some hats with that picture on it. And then the guy tried to come at me like I was using his art to sell pictures. He put a filter on a picture of you and claimed that was his art. Yeah. Oh, geez. Do you sell those hats? I did sell them, but I stopped selling them and then I... Because you're like, I don't even want to deal with this guy. Yeah. I sent the guy some money. Not very much, but I go just here.

10 grand. No, I go, just take this money. And I'll never sell those hats again. Yeah. Of the picture of me. How many times have you all done you do an event or something and then they take pictures of you, but like you can't get the, you know, like a Getty Images picture of you? Oh, yeah.

With the watermark on it. Yeah, one time. Nate's movie premiere. How's that uncrustable, waiter? I mean, they're so good. Do you thought all the way out or do you, like, let it be a little cold. Okay.

Okay. It's a little chilled a little bit. I can't believe you guys try to get me to eat his lunch. Well, he offered it to you. It wasn't our idea. The time he has. The more I think about it, I think I'm an advantage of that one. Oh, well, I didn't, that orange thing on that, I didn't do that.

That's jelly leaking through. Yeah, yeah. I mean, well, it may be nicotine. I don't know. nicotine stained fingers. All right. So before you apply for a trademark, you have to check a database

to make sure your logo does not look like another registered brand. Okay. So if there's already someone doing this, sorry, Dusty. Oh, man, I hope there is. Have you looked?

I don't think you can trademark waving. You know this because you've looked into all this, I'm assuming. Well, no. Well, we did talk about trademarking. We're having a good time one time. And, you know, a lawyer was really looking into it and it just seems like it could, you know, because I guess the idea was

Larry the cable guy had get her done and he has that trademark now, my understanding. But prior to that, other people made tons of money off get or done. But I do think that's, you know, a bit more of a less common phrase than we're having a good time. Yeah. It's in general a standard hello or goodbye wave cannot be trademark. Yeah. In the world of performance, specific choreography or emotes might qualify for some copyright protection, but a single basic motion is still unlikely to be protected. But did you know the diamond cutter hand sign?

The wrestlers, yeah, that's trademark. Oh, okay. I thought that was the Illuminati. It's all tied in. Yeah. I bet, I wonder if Killer B is, I was thinking about Save Up. I bet Save Up and then, yeah, so there's that. Yeah.

That's his newer one. Yeah. Now, Aaron, do you know the Rule of Seven? No, what's the Rule of Seven? I know the Rule of Three is in comedy, but what's the rule of seven? Rule of seven in marketing states that potential customer must see or hear a brand's message at least seven times before they feel comfortable enough to buy. Wow. Concept proves that a single ad or lone social media posts.

is rarely enough to drive a sale. It's that time of year. Reality sneaking back up on a school started. Summer's coming to an end. We all know the stress of this time of year. Resetting for real life again can be a bummer. You got schedules filling up. Life gets busy quickly.

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no matter where you start your morning. I love taking AG1 every day. It's a daily routine that works, 75 plus vitamins, minerals, whole food, sourced, ingredients. It's also gluten-free and dairy-free, paleo-vegan, keto, less than one gram of naturally occurring sugar. Knowing all of that makes it an easy priority to start your day. Visit drinkag1.com slash nateland and get a free AG1 flavor sampler and a free bottle of vitamin D3 and K2 in your welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription order. That's drinkag1.com. slash Nate Land. When was the last time you saw something? You saw an ad and you're like,

I got to buy that right now. You probably never. Yesterday. Really? What was it? Like a billboard? You saw it? Well, this, I order off, no, TikTok. And I order off TikTok sometimes. And I send it to my post office box. And I will go check my post office box and we'll forget all about whatever I ordered. I've gotten, I've gotten burnt quite a few times where it comes. I go, what was I thinking? But it's never very expensive. I think I ordered like a Bible thing where you can like see genealogies. Like you can see how long someone lived and like who they might have known in the Bible because of how long they lived.

I thought that was pretty cool. It probably will not look as good as it did on the app. All right. But you saw it and bought it right away. Yeah. Why not? Yeah. About you, Brian.

Never. You're not affected by? I advertise something. You've never been watching the game and a Hardee's commercial comes on and you go, I got to have it right now. The only thing that's ever would be food. Yeah. Like if something looks really good. And I don't even do it right now, but maybe I'm out the next day and I see a Hardee's.

You file it away. Yeah. Next time I see a Hardee's. I'm stopping there. Maybe. What about the KFC doubled down? Did you ever remember that one? Of course I remember.

It was two pieces of chicken and then cheese in the middle. Yeah. I remember the double down. Did you ever do that? Did that? I don't think I ever had that. That always felt like a bridge too far. I felt the same way.

It felt like this is, if I get a KFC double down, I have to just embrace what I've become as a human being. And I have to become a whole different type of guy. Because you can be a fat guy who's fighting it, right? But when you're eating KFC double down, you're like, oh, this is your whole thing now. You're literally doubling down. Yeah. That's why they called it then. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. If you've never had it, it's two pieces of fried chicken. A breast. They have replaced the bread on a sandwich. So it's two pieces of chicken. And then inside of it, it has what? Bacon cheese.

Is there an egg in there maybe? No. That might be the breakfast double down. Yeah. You know, there's a video going around right now where a lady is holding a sandwich. It's like a burger and it's got like two hash browns on it. She goes, I've been seeing these advertised. And then it cuts to a guy going.

Where? Where? You made this. It's not being advertised anywhere. I love the internet. Anyway. All right. Aaron,

I'm going to test you with some marketing terms. Oh, I love it. I'm a marketing major for the record. But I don't know if I could tell you a single thing about it. These are, I think you'll know most of these. B2B.

Good marketing for college. I'm not in the brochures. I'll tell you that. B2B means business to business. business. Correct. Dusty. As opposed to B2C,

which stands for... Business to consumer. All right. There you go. No college at all. So KFC would be a B to C because they sell directly to a consumer. Well, I've seen people in uniforms in there.

But like Cisco would be a B2B. Yeah. Is they're selling... Everywhere. Yeah. Just delicious food to other businesses. B to all the Bs. B to every B.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what a buyer persona is? A buyer persona? No, I don't. What is that? It's a fake profile that represents your ideal customer's habits. Okay, yeah, yeah, okay. We had to do that a few times. It's fun. In college. Oh, like, comedy. Just in life. In comedy. Well, I think you do do that. Like, if you're making Facebook ads, you're like trying to, you, you start targeting, like, who? Like, what people's interest? Well, let me ask you this. if you, let's do this for someone who comes to see you do comedy.

Describe that person. The quintessential dusty slave fan. What's their age, gender, job, where do they live? I would say men 35 to 55. Okay. I would say that's that. We get some 25s in there, some 65s, but 35 to 55 seems to be the range. So around your age.

More specifically, most of them are in the 40s. Yeah. men. And then, you know, I don't know what else you would type in, but I would go for, you know, I know that everybody that comes to my house to do any kind of work knows who I am. Okay. So more blue collar. So a blue collar in the trades.

Yeah. I bet a higher percentage of your fans like country music. Yeah. Just real human beings out here. If there was a button for just real people. as opposed to me and Brian. Yeah. People that are looking for not pretentious, not fancy, but good.

If you want some down home. Yeah. My fans are looking for space. I used to type in comics that I think would also like me. But I don't know comics well enough now. I used to use Mitch Hedberg, you know, like I would use Jeff Foxworthy. I might use Nate. You remember your bio used to be with a voice so smooth,

it's like cornbread telling you jokes. Yeah. That was my best bio ever had. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah. My favorite of all time, rest of soul, Donna Carter. Oh, yeah. She said, the Southern Bell with a heart of cornbread.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, it's sweet. I don't get yours, Dusty. Well, my roommate who was, you know, on another planet. Yeah. Great guy.

Theoretically. Yeah. Danny Green wrote that for me. But smooth as cornbread? Voice is so smooth that's like cornbread telling you jokes. It's kind of, it doesn't make any sense. But it's like just kind of giving a son. It's like, hey, this guy's got a good voice.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. A USP? Danny was from Buffalo, New York. Yeah. It was his best description of a very smooth talk in Southern.

It's like cornbread. What's it? USP? Yeah. No, I don't know. Unique selling proposition. Okay. This is where we struggle. The specific feature that makes your product better than the competition.

What sets you apart from the field? That's right. That's the tough one. I always say nobody, I mean, nobody's doing jokes like me. Okay? I'm doing, I know some people. I'm doing my own unique thing out of it. Even if they have a same premise, we're going to go in a different direction.

Okay. Yeah. There are a lot of people with some similar premises. That's true. We're going to go in a different direction. Okay. But your whole look, that's kind of a brand. Yeah.

There's a few people out there trying to copy that now. You see them popping out. They go. Their hair starts to get a little longer. And then next day you know, they're wearing a hat. And then all of a sudden they're wearing glasses. I go, what are you doing? Yeah.

Who did you get it from? They start running the light. This is just me. It just slowly evolve for me. They start running the light? Yeah. Value proposition. But running the light going.

What else? What do you work? The main promise of value and benefits a company delivers to a buyer. Kind of similar, I guess. So what would the USP be, let's say, McDonald's? That's a good question. Better than the competition. Fast, affordable.

Mm-hmm. the most streamlined fast food process. Certainly how they blew up. Yes. The old way. And that's how I still think of them as they're the most efficient. Chick-fil-A is the most efficient now, I think. Yeah.

Well, that's not the selling point, though. I don't think you go to Chick-fil-A for the efficiency. It's the whole experience, right? It just feels... Well, people are nice to you. That's a huge part of it. And nice to you, but they are very efficient. They are efficient.

They cut out the drive. through thing with the speaker. There's just people out there. Yeah. Sweeting to death. And the audacity to just assume you know their entire menu. I know. They walk up.

I know. And you do. Yeah. Yeah. I don't really. Yeah. You did? Yeah.

They're out there meeting at the side of the interstate now. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. That's how he would tell it. Yeah.

And then he would take it a much different direction. Different direction. It would get real weird real quick. Exactly. Why do we even have interstates? Exactly. I would like to do a show or just a conversation off camera where the two of you take each other's acts and just tackle the premises in the way that you would. Let's do that.

You take Brian's whole act and just how would you do his jokes and then how would you do Dusty's jokes? I love that. How different they would be. Yeah. I mean, you would be in two different worlds. Yeah. Yeah. We should do that.

Because you go to space. We should just pick a few. I'd be in the one world, this one. Yeah, the only one. Yes. You should, we should pick a few jokes, just four or five jokes of each others. And just how would you rewrite them? And just do it at a Zany's Comedy All-Stars.

Let loose. Let loose. Show tonight. If you're watching this on a Wednesday. SEO. Search engine optimization. Yeah. CTA.

CTA is a call to action. That's right. It's a call to action. So go ahead and click. that button down there, pound that button. That's what I'm always trying to get us to do. Get people to comment on the video. Get people to like, subscribe.

Comment if you agree. Share with your friends. Like the video. It helps reach other people. Go ahead and subscribe, dude. Helps us out a lot. Thanks, man. It does. I know.

I know a lot of kids have do this, but my daughter has just started doing that. She was playing in the bathtub other night and she was pretending, do you know Danny Go? No. Yeah. You know Danny Go? The floor is lava. Yeah. And she's playing, you know, with her toys like she's doing a Danny Go show. And then she said,

be sure to like and subscribe. She's just talking to herself. Yeah, just pretending like she's Danny Go. Wow. Yeah. And I think Nate told me Harper did that when she was little. Like these kids, they watch a lot of videos. All right, puffery. We've talked about puffery before. That could mean different things of different people. Well, in this example, I'm glad you said that. It's an exaggerated subjective promotional claim made in advertising or sales that cannot be. proven true or false. Because reasonable people do not take these boastful statements literally, the law considers them legal opinions rather than fraudulent misrepresentation or false advertising. So if I were like Honda, the best drive on the road, and you go, that's not based in anything.

Or James Gregory, funniest man in America. Well, that's actually, you actually trademarked to that, that exact phrase. Or breakfast, the most important meal of the day. Yeah, exactly. But I'm not, I'm not throwing shade on James Gregory. I do think he is. was one of the funniest man in America. But to say you're the funniest man in America feels like puffery. Like you might have trademarked it, but you can't prove it. That's true. And you say in a hot show, hilarious comedian, that's all puffery too. Well, that's fact.

Yeah, I mean, it's, I mean, they're hot. Chad Ryden was America's favorite comic. That's right. Affcoat. Like BMW, the ultimate driving machine. Yes. Wheaties, the Breakfast of Champions. Yeah.

But even to claim like this is the best. pizza in town. You can just say that. Yeah. Even if you've never won a poll or anything like that. If anybody from Wheaties is listening, what do we got to do to get you on the box? You're Brian Breakfast Bates. You should be on the cover of Wheaties.

Currently, I think it's Jalen Hurts. Okay. Are you know Jalen? Yeah, I know Jalen. I'm a big fan of Jail. Here's a list of the recent Wheaties cover athletes. It's going to be a hard list for you to crack, I think, Brian. Asia Wilson, Jalen Hertz, J.J. Watt, and T.J. Watt, and LeBron James and Serena Williams.

So you think you'd fit in in this? Yeah. None of them are breakfast. But none of them are breakfast. Exactly right. You are breakfast. Yeah. You got to start owning that. Well, it highlights athletes who both excel in their sports and champion social causes. So you're going to have to become a humanitarian.

Here's the thing you could do. The beginning of your shows come out, start throwing out bags of oatmeal. But I also have... Imagine if Dusty, if Brian and I actually took this advice? Like, what happened to Brian and Aaron? If he was our manager, we had to do it.

Start throwing out bags of oatmeal. I'm just putting on a baseball glove before I go on stage. Dusty gave me some advice. Trying to catch these jokes. Trying to brand, but try to catch you. Dusty has given me some. like t-shirt ideas though. That's the stuff he's really great at.

And that's it. Stay calm and look worried or something like that. Oh, and the keep calm and look worried. Breakfast, the most important meal of the day. What was it you said? Best meal of the day. Best meal of the day, yeah. Go with most important.

Go with best. We all travel a lot. That's an unavoidable part of the job, right? The worst is if you're juggling a coffee, you got a phone that's dying, plus you're trying to pull out a laptop midline at the airport. I always feel bad for this people when I see him struggling. That used to be me. I used to be that guy. I was trying to hold a coffee. My phone was at 2%. I'm just a mess. But most luggage is just a box on wheels. Nothing about it makes traveling any easier. Well, now I want to show you what we got here.

Noble. This is the best suitcase that I've ever had here. We got a cup holder on the back. Dusty's showing it off here at the table. Nice little cup holder in the back. It's a total lifesaver at the TSA line. Plus we get charging port right there. Built in charging port keeps your phone alive so you're not crawling under an outlet at the gate. You got a laptop pocket right there on the side. 360 degree wheels. This thing is amazing.

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That's N-O-B-L Travel.com for up to 46% off. After you purchase, they'll ask how you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. And now throw out some oatmeal. Yeah. Dress up as the Quaker Oats guy. My next one could be complimentary breakfast. Yeah.

It could be my special. But you don't want to give it away, though. Well, I mean, it's on YouTube. It's free. Yeah. So. Well, all right. Yeah, instead of going on Netflix, which I could have.

Yeah. I'll call it complimentary breakfast. Yeah. Do it on YouTube. Call it Continental, see if it confuses. people. You can go worldwide. Yeah.

Somebody photoshop Brian on a Wheaties box, please. Yeah. It can't be AI. No AI. All right. Who's this guy on the top left up here? That's Bruce Jenner. Mary Lou Retton.

Oh. Bruce Jenner, yeah. What's he up to these days? It looks more like Mary Lou Retton. Some famous catchphrases that have been trading. Mark. Paris Hilton. That's hot. That's hot. Did you know that? Yeah. You basically say that all the time. Yeah, it's a hot show. Yeah. She got sued. Oh, no, she sued Hallmark for using the phrase, along with her image on a greeting card and won. Well, was she the first person to say that's hot? Do you know, were you a Paris Hilton person growing up? She did have that show with Nicole, Richie, and they would say that. That's hot. Yeah. That's hot. Yeah. But I bet people were saying that before. But I feel like she did it like I do.

We're having a good time. Like she took it over. She also trademark slaving. That one didn't catch on. She coined by mashing slaying and living your best life into one very on-brand mantra. That's horrible. That didn't catch on. Slaving?

Slaving? Is it sliving? Is that better? Slaying and living. I guess that would make more sense. Well, that makes more sense. Thanks for correct it. It is sliving. But what did you?

So sliving is still out there if I want to grab it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You should graph sliving because it's sleigh and having a good time. Yeah. What should I say? Pear Silden said at a party in 2019, she said sliving is the new that's hot.

And then things have been pretty downhill from her since then. I mean, I'm sure her life is good. but uh just saw her on some show as a judge or something what would i just see her on the the masked singer something like that that's really the path now isn't it you go you have a whole career and then the next thing you know you're the judge on something i would love to be that uh michael buffer let's get ready to rumble yeah i mean that's probably the most now his brother it's the ufc guy i think he's better than him But you still hear this phrase a lot.

Michael Buffer makes a ton of money. Bruce Buffer. You hear, Let's get ready to rumble and stuff all the time. They got to pay for it. Matthew McConaughey, all right, all right, all right. Is that true? He trademarked it.

It's a line from a movie that he didn't write. He registered the audio clips and phrase marks to protect his voice and likeness from artificial intelligence misuse. Oh, okay. Yeah, we all should do that. I agree. Even though you embrace AI and love it. I like writing songs.

Taylor Swift, this sick beat. This sick beat? Wow, I don't know that she's ever had a sick beat, but. Was that shake it off for this sick beat? Yeah. She's done a few. The old Taylor can't come to the phone right now. Shake it off is my only song that I like by Taylor Swift.

Have you really, have you listened to it? a lot of it or you just hear it like around the pop song? I don't think that my ears can hear it. So if you went to a... I put it on and I go, what is this? So if she and you two and Foo Fighters were doing a concert together, you wouldn't go. You couldn't give me tickets to it.

Yeah, probably couldn't. Emerald, is it Lagasse? Oh, the chef? Yeah. Yeah, it just Emerald, but I don't think you need to say his last name. Emerald. POW! Was it? Bam, bam.

Bam. Look at this guy, Mr. Kaki over here. I was thinking of Rob Riggle from Stepbrothers. Remember him? Yeah. Bow. Catalina wine mix. Bow!

Remember that? You don't know what I'm talking about? I only saw Stepbrothers once. Oh, man. Tim Tebowing? Okay. T-bowing, which was taking a knee and praying. It's got a weird trademark.

that, huh? Yeah, yeah, it is. Don't be praying out on the field. Only I do that. Just the phrase, I guess, but not the action. Probably just the image of him. Do you remember Tebow-Mania when it was happening in the NFL? Were you on board with it? Did you like it? Well, I didn't like Tebow. I'm an Alabama fan. Even when he was in the NFL, you didn't? No, no. The moment he went pro, I was all about, Yeah. All about it. But as a, you know, when he was on the Florida Gators, I was rooting against him.

So did that. Yeah. I liked when he cried when they lost. Yeah, me too. And then he seems like a pretty great guy now. Yeah. Seems, yeah, he does seem like that. And in the NFL, I was a big fan.

I mean, I, when Ben Rothesverger did Nate Land, I don't think he cared for, I think, before the podcast, I talked about how much I like Tebow. And I don't think he cared for that because. That's all he talked to him. Yeah. Because you're a quarterback, huh? You know this Tim Tebow guy? Now, he's a good quarterback. I mean, me and Ben seem to get along well, but I, he didn't care for that because, you know, Tebow was with the Broncos and beat the Steelers in playoffs.

Which is a great game. I remember watching that in Charleston, South Carolina, the Yo Barrito. That was the 316 game, right? I think so. Yeah. He had John 316 on his eye blacks. Yeah. And then he threw for 316 yards and all the.

all kinds of other crazy stats. I remember watching the airport come home from a gig. Really? Yep. I guess I've been doing good for a long time. Yeah, I mean, I was drinking in Yo Barito. I was having a good time, though, too. Gaffierry, Flavertown?

I think I was in high school. Gaffiery Flavortown? A flavor town, yeah, yeah. What kind of gig were you doing back then? It was a what? A news gig? No, it was a, Rick Roberts

invited me to come with him to do a corporate with him. In fact, I could tell you when that happened because it was my Listen up. Come on, God. It was just like you wanted, you were like, all right, I'm about to tell you something.

So be quiet. Choking from your smell over here. Yeah, well. Pechule. I put a little pachulio on before. It just smells like you basted your legs or something. Truly? I don't know what that is.

What is that word? It's an essential oil. One of the best wrong ones. It's not essential. A lot of hippies use it. For my 40th birthday, Rick Roberts, they threw me a surprise 40th birthday. And Rick Roberts' gift was he took me to do this corporate gig with him, which back then. It was a big deal.

I wasn't doing many corporate gigs on the road. So that would have been 14, almost 15 years ago. Yeah. That's crazy. If you smell what the rock is cooking, the rock tree worked out. That's a big one. Ice Cube. Oh, let's see.

Ice Cube. Dang, what was that thing he was saying? Are we there yet? At the beginning of that one song all the time. He was saying, gosh, Ice Cube, baby, 99, baby. Like he says something. Is it close? God, no, it's that song.

Today was a good day. Oh. Oh, really? Today was a good day. It was an incredible song. That is a good song. That's just what I was thinking. I can't believe you were able to trademark today was a good day.

But that song, really filthy. But it is a great song. I'm starting to believe in your ability to copyright. We're having a good time. I know. If today is a good day. Let me share a couple that didn't make it. The tribe.

Donald Trump, you're fired. Yeah, that one's hard. Couldn't do it. Cardi B. O'Ker. Her signature, occur. How's that spelled? O'C.

Okay. U-R-R-R-R. Okay. O'-K-R. You know that? Okay. You know that phrase? Yeah.

Well, that one got rejected. Got rejected. So, not everything makes it. Not everything can make it through. Now, Buckees has been in the news a lot lately because they're suing everybody left and right who has anything remotely close to a beaver. I know. How do you feel about that, Dusty?

I don't like it. Yeah. I've never been a huge Bucky's guy. Like, I'm not anti-Buckies, but I've never been a huge Bucky's guy. Don't be suing everybody. I'm starting to turn on them a little. Yeah. I kind of lost the allure.

You give somebody a little power. And you go, I think I just, a loves has been there for me. Yeah. For years. This is a loves podcast. And loves doesn't go in and take over. Maybe they do on some level. But they don't come in and take over a whole town.

Yeah. And then sue a bunch of companies for putting a heart on their shirt. I know. You know? What's Dolly's? Dolly's is, I don't know. I'm not a fan of those, by the way. I went to one.

other day? Of what? Dolly's? I thought there was just one. There's one down south, Tennessee. That's the one I went to there. It's just, it's an ex-maybe, maybe an Exxon. It's a travel style.

Yeah, there's just not much too. I mean, like the way she was talking about, she goes, we can't let beavers have all the fun. And so I thought this is going to be basically like a Buckees. I mean, stuff was clean and the, but the restaurant was closed when I was in there. It was pretty weak when I went, to be honest with you. Yeah. But that logo, I bet she's trademarked.

Oh, for sure. That's on all the... It's just a Dolly Parton merch store. Yeah, it is. With the gas station attached to it, yeah. Well, if you don't know about the Bucky's lawsuit, so there's a Beaver's Mini Mart, local convenience store in Beaver Creek, Ohio.

And Bucky says that the store's cartoon Beaver mascot looks too much like theirs. It doesn't look anything like it. So there's the Beaver's Mini Mart logo. It's a happy beaver with its... teeth sticking out. It's the whole body. It's the whole body. That's true. And they're in Beaver Town. Here they are. I got them side by side right here. You can see them. Yeah, they're in Beaver Creek. Yeah. We got Beaver's Minimart. See, the Buckees Beaver looks like a

little, like a child. Yeah. And then the Beaver, Beaver's Mini Mart looks like, I don't know, 18, 19 year old. He's got his feet under him a little bit. A bit jaded. A bit jay. A bit jay. but also still proud of the store that he's a representative of. And I mean, I should sue them for him. He's waving. You should get into this lawsuit. Yeah. A joint lawsuit with Buckees.

Yeah. But it's like, that's pretty ridiculous. I mean, it's like, guys, I mean, nobody's going to accidentally think Beaver's mini-mart is Buckees. And is this just one location, too, it looks like? That is. But then there's also, they filed legal action. against Mickey's over the use of a moose mascot.

And also a beaver only, I mean, that's what Beaver looks like. Yeah. I'm going to guess Beaver's Mini Mart's been there longer than... Okay, so here's the Mickey's logo next to the Buckees logo. I mean, you could see how this is like similar, but also it's like, there's probably a lot of logos that look like this. Completely different animal.

Yeah. Basically, they're like, you can't put an animal in a shape. Yeah. And Bucky's the Buckees thing is not sticking out of the shape like the moose is. That's true. That's true. And if they did M-I-C-K-E-E-S, I go, okay. They wrote Buckees the way that you said customizable.

Yeah, yes, they did. Buckkees. Yeah. You changed my life, though, last week when he told me how to say Mercury. Mercury. Mercury, yeah. Are you saying it a lot now? Mercury.

All the time. I try to work in the conversation. Yeah. Boy, it's hot out. Probably a lot of mercury in the thermometer right now. I can't believe Alan Jackson didn't teach you how to say it. You're a big Alan Jackson fan. I am a big Alan Jackson fan.

And I thought I was singing it right. But clearly, how was it? I want to buy me a mercury. Coos it up and down. Mercury. How are you saying it? You say Mark Curry. Hey, you know, Mr. Cooper?

Yeah, yeah. Mercury. I think it's how I was saying. Markery. He was saying mercury. Yeah. Was this retro laughing? I'm sorry.

When Aaron says it the way that you're saying it. So what's the consensus here in the room? Can I give you one more? Buckees is just a bully right now. Yeah. Can I give you one more? Yeah. They've gone after Tiddy's Market,

small independent grocer over a lake logo featuring a teddy bear. Teddy's Market. From Georgia? Uh-huh. Oh, man. Let's see. Oh, man, come on. How long's Teddy's been around?

Come on, Buckees. And now John Oliver has launched his own merchandise buckoff. Okay, now I'm back on Bucky. Yeah, yeah. Don't worry, John Oliver's on the case. Featry a squirrel named Mr. Nutterbutter. Okay. He's raising money for charity, but yeah, you guys go ahead.

I never believe it. just completely lost. John Oliver, nothing will ruin it like John Oliver will. Yes, that guy. I've opened for John Oliver here at Zanis. No, did you really?

Yep. Wow, how long ago was that? Was he doing stand-up? He was on the Daily show. Yeah. Correspondent. He was just cash grab. So it was before his own show,

but he was on the daily show. I saw him twice. Once I was in New York with Nate and there was a showcase show and he was on it, and I met him then, and then I hosted for him here at Zanis. I don't know.

Nice guy? Yeah, very nice. He probably is very nice. I'm sure he's a nice. Very funny. But I don't, I'm not into. All right. He's a nice guy.

So you were asking, where do we stand on it? I just feel like they're being a bully. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I don't like it. Everybody, they got a little fanfare around them and not, that's like, listen, if Teddy's just popped up, I'd be like, all right, maybe you are kind of, got a little hat on it. But this one has a hoodie and a way. And it's a completely different animal. It's a different animal.

And again, he's waving, so you might consume him, does it? Got a few. Is that Tennessee logo in his hand? Kind of looks like it. So Teddy's, the guy is wearing the hat correctly. Yeah. The way the Buckees beaver's wearing his hat has always annoyed me. Yeah.

That's how, well, he wears his hat like Alex Voludo. He does. He fling him up. Madam Bush. Yeah. Yeah. Some marketing blunders. Okay.

McDonald's Olympic giveaway. So the 84 Summer Olympics, McDonald's ran a promotion where when the U.S. wins, you win. They gave free food items to customers if the U.S. Olympic team won medals at certain events. But then the Soviet Union and other countries boycotted the Summer Olympics. So America started dominating. And McDonald's is estimated have lost millions of dollars in the promotion. Whoa. I like to think that Russia or who,

whoever it was. Soviet Union. Hated McDonald's. I like to think that's what happened. Well, just McDonald's probably represents everything they hate about America, right?

And then I put up a picture of a Big Mac, not the best picture of a Big Mac I've ever seen. No. Not the worst either. I would eat it. I know you wouldn't,

I see, but... No, I mean, I love a burger. You've had times in your life where you would eat four or five of those. Yeah, I mean, I love a burger, but that, nothing about McDonald's appeals to me. New Coke?

we've talked about that before. Yeah. Do you remember that happening? I do. Did you remember the Kola Wars? Did you try the new? I mean, you might just be out there. Next thing you know, you're blindfolded.

Having to make a decision, man. Yeah, it's a tough time. Can you tell the difference? Tase test, taste. These weak kids today, I was there for the Kola Wars. I bet I saw a video of a woman doing it, and I think I could do it. She could tell the difference between all the different

types of Diet Coke. Next week. Diet Coke in a can in a bottle, fountain drink. We do that with Nate sip of Pepsi. You remember?

I do remember. Let's do it. Next week. He could do it, right? Yep. Next week, I'm bringing in some coats.

Okay. Appreciate that, man. Yeah. But, Dusty, do you know this? Diet Coke, I'm sorry.

Diet Coke, I think is easy to tell. But I'm saying you could tell a can apart from a fountain drink, apart from a bottle.

Oh, is that what you're talking about? All diet Coke. Oh, because I want to do, do, you know, R.C. Sam's choice. Oh, I can do that. I could do that too. I'm less familiar. I mean, I'm less up to date. I mean, I haven't had those drinks in so long. Yeah. We'll practice this week. When we're ready, we'll do it. That'll be my podcast research.

Dusty watches a movie and I. Yeah. And then I forget to bring that stuff in. You drink all these Cokes. And then I go, oh. Yeah, I asked Dusty bring his merch this week so we can show it off. Yeah. So one day he doesn't. I just assume you'd be wearing it anyway. What's it?

This is Ninjas or Butterflies, who also are, it's a podcast that I like, and they're amazing at marketing. They have sent me so many shirts. Half the shirts I wear are ninjas or butterflies. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. But do you know the New Coke thing that happened?

So Coke changed its formula. They made it sweeter and released new Coke. And there was backlash. People didn't like it. And after 79 days, they switched back, the original recipe. Was Coke before they made the switch? Were they number one? Were they number one in market share?

Or were they a company that was struggling? I think they were losing market share because Pepsi were doing these taste test and people were choosing Pepsi because it was sweeter. So we got to do something. Okay. Now, some people think there's a conspiracy theory that, what's going over there, Dusty? I think I spilled a lot of chocolate on me earlier. But so I just got distracted by it.

But I like that when you say some people think, they think that you've read something. And when I say it, people go, oh, he thinks it. Well, I think it's because you're talking about two drastically different things. He's saying some people think this company made a. move. You're saying some people think, you know, the moon is closer than the cloud or something. Yeah. So they're pretty different claims made.

Well, but a company is still making the original claim. Your uncle works there, so we always have to. Wait, what are you talking about? My aunt works there. She's not a scientist, do you know? We always have to hear. Oh, yeah. So he's on the take.

Yeah. His uncle's out here debunking myth busters. That's my grandfather. You get into all the details. But the claim, some people say, Coke just did the whole thing for publicity to get some generation of heat for the original formula. Yeah.

Like they did it on purpose. It's almost like a guy faking his own suicide just to get everyone to go, oh, I really liked him. And then you come back out and go, I'm not dead. Yeah. I couldn't, yeah.

There's a great song by Reliant Kay called Faking My Own Suicide. Oh, yeah. When he's in love with his girl and she won't give him the time of day. So he fakes his own suicide. And then she shows up at his funeral and it's like, oh, I actually loved him the whole time. And now I'm just realizing. And then he comes back to life. And she goes, wow, this is giving me the ick.

That's putting it lightly. Yeah, that's one of the most debaical things. do. Diabolical. He faked his death. Yeah. But it's a song. Yeah.

He comes back to life at the end. And it's like, oh, you actually did love me because you cried at my funeral. But he was always alive. He never died. Yeah. I just want to clarify, was it a mystical came back to life? No. It's also a song.

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I want to get the facts of the song. Okay. Sorry. I didn't mean to make that a whole thing. Some people say.

Some people say he came back to life. Do you know one of the big marketing blunders by Dundra Mifflin? Well, there are a bunch. Okay. Or dusty. There's a couple times. I don't. Well, they, the golden tickets game is the one you're talking about.

Yeah. Yeah. Great episode. Do you ever watch The Office? I did, and I liked it, but I don't remember. Michael Scott, much like Willie Wonka, he was, you know, he put golden tickets in some of the paper that went out. and ended up, I think it was five. The golden tickets were like 20% off your order.

And he inadvertently put all of them in the same company, Blue Cross. The same company with their biggest client. Oh, no. Oh, no. What are y'all doing? What's going over here now? I'm trying to put my shoes back on. Don't worry about it.

It's a podcast. Keep your head in the game. Come on, Brian. Keep your head down. We're almost done. Dusty's adjusting. You're adjusting. But we got 12 minutes left.

No, no, I got a lot more. This is going to be a three-hour podcast. I see you buckle up, guys. Yeah, 17. Until we start to do where we're going to be. We're at about an hour, 55 is where we go. All right, where are you going to be this weekend? No, I got a lot more.

This is going to be a long one. Cracker barrel. The ultimate screw up. If we don't know, they were releasing the campfire meals and they hired D-list celebrities. D-list celebrities. and it backfired on them. And it got their CEO fired. I'm going to tell you what they did.

We know what they did. I told you. My friend Matt went in there to get the campfire menu after I did the commercial. And they were like, he went to a regular Cracker Barrel. And they go, oh, no, those are hard to do. That'll be an hour. So they messed up. They got somebody like me who knew how to sell.

And then they weren't ready for the volume. They drove all that traffic in there. They didn't have all. They didn't have enough aluminum foil. And too many of the employees were taking it home. Oh, that's so funny. And, but, you know, that she messed up. I met that CEO.

I did a corporate gig for Crackerel. She was a nice woman. She was nice. You know, they were all nice to me. Yeah. And I took a picture with her, but on her phone, I didn't get to, I didn't get to have it. But she messed up trying to change the logo and trying to make. Would you be in favor of changing a logo to a silhouette of you?

Yeah, sit on a porch. Well, yeah. Waving. Yeah. But that, you know, that's keeping it down home. Yeah. Keep it not fancy. Not fancy, not pretentious, but good.

Good. Yeah. There's a video out there. You guys go watching your free time of Dusty in a Cracker Barrow rocking chair, answering questions that they throw at him. one of them is Alabama or Tennessee. He's like, well, I'm from Alabama. So I got to say, roll tide or Auburn.

I love them both. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. Did you get any hate comments for that? I don't think you right. I don't think he watched it. It's on the crackerbrow YouTube channel.

I don't think anybody. Some good marketing decisions. Well, here's one bad one. And I vaguely remember this. Seinfeld. their last season, they did a backwards episode. Do you remember this? No, I don't remember that at all.

And where, we're like, bizarre a world? The first scene is basically the credits. Oh. And then the whole episode, they do scenes. That's fun.

Backwards. It was not as fun as you might think. Okay. It wasn't a very good episode. But one of the things that heard is NBC kind of promoted it, um, ahead of time. The top comment on your cracker rail video.

That sounds about right. Give your thumbs up, though. It says with all due respect, FU buddies. So who knows the talk about it. Anyway, Seinfeld writers begged NBC not to reveal the trick. but they did it anyway.

Sorry, Brian. I don't even think anything was controversial about what I said. Why this guy hates you so much? What could it even be responded? Yeah, I mean, I... He's just rock it on a chair. I don't even want to do this part. They're just like, let's get some other content while you're here.

It's all, too. Yeah, I mean, owner to the find that, You have to type CBX, Dusty Slay, Rock and Talk V4. Dot M.V.4. Here's the other comment. Horrible to go experience at my local store. So disappointed. I mean, I'm just like, what are they talking about?

That's the Cracker Barrel Facebook fans. One of the questions they ask, funnier comic, you are Nate Bargazzi. And Desi goes, well, I better rock on this one a little bit. Yeah. And he's like, you never sell yourself short. Yeah, I mean, it's like, you know, the question. questions at that last. That's a crazy question. Yeah. So some good marketing, Nike, just do it?

Do the Cracker Barrel comments there. All right, I'll stop. No Diet Coke, two weeks, no fries, chicken tenders were hard. We eat there every Wednesday. This guy's like, I've been looking for an outlet. This is like, it's just on a video of you. Wilbur McKenzie. I like that they responded to her. Your experience matters to us. Please DM us with your email.

They know darn well. They're not going to do that. They don't have to DM anybody. Look at Wilbur. No Diet Coke two weeks. Just for your, this is on the company. This is not even specific to your Cracker Barrel. You all had Diet Coke for two weeks.

Oh, so funny, dude. All right, we can wrap it up. Yeah, we can wrap it up. Sorry, man. This is a rabbit hole I'm going to go down later. You got any more good ones before we go? Yeah. Oh, that's a lot of really complimentary.

Oh, worst cracker barrel on the planet. Poor service, bad attitude, bad city. All right. I won't finish reading that one. It's wild. This is in Mount James. Julian. I mean, that's a good, it's a good cracker barrel. I don't think they're talking about you.

No, this is on the, the Cracker Barrel, three million followers page. I think they all think that it's just about their Cracker Barrel. Cracker Barrel comes up on their Facebook and they think, oh, this is the Cracker Barrel by my house. That's wild. Okay. Is this on YouTube? Oh, this is Facebook. We're talking. I want to find the video. I got to see what it is.

I said. I'll say it to you. What could possibly have set that guy off? Okay. All right. This episode really derailed. Yeah, sorry about that. Yeah.

All right. Where are you guys going this weekend? It's still, it's my episode technically. You go first, Dusty. Well, I got more, more Air Force gigs this weekend. Tonight we're doing Let Loose at Zanis this Wednesday. Come out.

It's a 9 o'clock show. It's wild, so don't expect it to be a clean show. It's a wild show, but it is fun. And then this weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I'm going to be doing military bases. They're all on my website. I believe I'm in Wichita and then Oklahoma and then Oklahoma City. I don't remember the city for the middle one, but they're all Air Force bases,

so you can't come unless you have access to that military base. How are those audiences? They were great. I had pretty good turnouts because I, I posted it on my website and I think people, you know, because it's not just active. I don't think you could be retired. I think. But a lot of people were there and, yeah, they've been really great.

And then the next weekend, I'm in Hobbs, New Mexico at a casino, I believe. I think that's near Roswell. Hobbs. I'm going to be in Phoenix, Arizona, August 28th is Aaron Webberspeen. August 28th through 30th. Phoenix, Arizona, the Desert Ridge Improv, coming out and see me there. And then looking forward, we got Orlando coming up, Conroe, Texas, Birmingham, Alabama, the start. I'm looking forward to coming back there.

San Francisco, Sacramento, and I'm swinging out there to Rutherford, New Jersey. So come out and see me, Aaron Weber Comedy.com. See you. This weekend, this is Brian Bates speaking. I will be in Springfield, Missouri, Springfield Comedy Club. All right. first time there. So come on out to that. Don't eat breakfast because you'll be bringing it.

That's right. It's good marketing. Yeah. September 6th, I'm at Zanies in Chicago, Zanis Comedy Club. That's Labor Day weekend. September 15th, I'm doing a benefit show here at the Franklin Theater for Hoveness. That's a boys home in Honduras that my church helps out with. So it's a wonderful call. So come to the Franklin Theater, September 15th.

That's great. The breakfast for dinner tour. But people are going to show up expecting a pancake dinner. That could be. But then you throw out oatmeal. I need a waffle maker on the stage. Yeah. How bad would you be if you go,

all right, let's go get breakfast somewhere. And there's no food, but Brian starts throwing packs of oatmeal. I like the waffle maker on stage. Well, Nate has that joke about me when I poured the syrup in the waffle maker. So I could just have. smoke going everywhere. That could be my interest. It's starting to become a liability for these venues.

Yeah. About outdoor shows. But that's the episode. Thanks for tuning in. We learned a lot about marketing and branding. We did actually. Yeah, I guess. We had fun along the way.

That's really what matters. Right? We learned who the real marketer on this podcast is, though. Who's that? I think we knew that. You? I mean, I guess we all didn't learn it. Okay.

Thanks for tuning in. Join us next week here on the Nateland Entertainment YouTube pages. This is the Public Figures podcast. Be safe. Keep your head up. Keep your head up. Keep your ear on the grindstone. Boy, I'll tell you. Boy, I'll tell you.

We love being in the public eye. If we weren't, then we want to die. A podcast with Brian, Aaron, and Dusty. These three guys are running. road